#and they clearly know each other they already have a rapport and a couple in jokes but it’s NOTHING compared to where they are now. like

[ghostpunkrock]

I always restart bfu at 3 horrifying cases of ghosts and demons so I actually forgot shane was in the last episode before it and like

look at these assholes, they have no idea that their careers and their lives are going to be inextricably bound together for the rest of eternity do they

[andhumanslovedstories]

I was in the ICU last night taking care of medsurg overflow patients—that’s when you aren’t sick enough to be in the ICU anymore but we don’t have a bed anywhere else for you yet. I don’t like floating to the ICU. It’s such a coin flip as to whether you’re gonna have a hard night or an easy one. You almost never get a full load of four patients, and that’s so nice, but the one or two or three patients you do have are all sick enough to have needed intensive care six hours ago. They’re usually still not doing amazingly. But they’re floor status now, so it’s medsurg patient ratios. But if you were a medsurg floor, the charge would probably be like “let’s not give three patients of this high an acuity to one nurse.”

Also some of them are NOT floor status. They’re just “slightly less likely to die in the next 12 hours status.” What we really need is a step down unit which is somewhere between the extreme high acuity of the ICU and the catchall category of medsurg. Instead we have a couple units that are “essentially step down units,” which means they are just medsurg units but you know your night is probably gonna be so hard.

Besides the patients, the ICU is just so spread out and lonely. Most critical care patients have a 1:1 ratio—one patient to one nurse. That’s on account of how intensive the care is, you see. But it also means whenever you’re like “I would love some help,” everyone else on the floor is like “if I step more than six feet away from my patient, he will die so badly.” It makes it really hard to casually engage in conversation, especially since I’m not qualified to do like anything in the ICU rooms, so I would clearly be going over there to expressly talk to them. And I don’t want to have a conversation! I just want to establish some rapport. I love bounding ideas off other staff! I love being about to shoot the shit a lil bit and then be like “well I have rounds” when one of us has to wander off. No one here has rounds. They are already Right There.

Anyway then the shift ends, and it’s time to pass off your patients. If you’re lucky it’s to another medsurg nurse who also looks a kid realizing too late into the lecture that this is not their class. But sometimes you give report to an ICU nurse who asks questions that are so pertinent and are so fair to ask, but they’re also like. the kind of questions you ask when you expect the person you’re getting report from is another critical care nurse who only has one patient. At a certain point, I just wanna be like “what do you want from me, dude. i’m stupid. every lab you’re asking about is in the chart and you understand them better than I do. can I go home”

That also means when they give you a real softball like “and how many IVs does he have” and you’re like “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh let’s go count them together shall we” you feel like the biggest dipshit in the world. And then they ask you three more questions each easier than the last as you have traumatic flashbacks to nursing school, specifically the parts where you failed a quiz and also misspelled your name. It just ends the shift on a bad note. Not even a bad note. Real burp of a shift change.

I’m feeling particularly salty because I overheard a couple critical care nurses last night joking about how medsurg nurses are so nervous about the medical boarders and basically saying that we’re always freaking out over nothing while being completely oblivious to the actual symptoms that matter. And as a nurse who once called rapid response because my patient’s heart beat weird for about twelve seconds, I was like “hey. you’re correct. but also must be nice to have just one patient and all shift to read every single thing about them and to sit outside their door next to your fully stocked equipment cart, and to be able to watch them all shift.” And it’s like yeah, critical care nurses can take all the blood out of a person and then put it all back better than before. But I know to turn off lights when I leave a patient room at three in the morning, and apparently in the ICU that’s an even more illusion trick.

But anyway it’s twelve hours later and I’m on the other side of a good good sleep, so I’m less cranky, and back to being appreciative of the specific skills critical care nurses being that are so essential, and also I was like, how pressed can I really be about one group of nurses joking about another group of nurses. that’s like 25 percent of my blog at this point.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

top 5 romangerri moments 🫶

i am finally answering this almost one month late!!!! this is the kind of question that requires a lot of ruminating, okay. and oh, i have been ruminating!

this is more a scene than a moment, but! their whole slime puppy phone call scene. i think it's just magic. they're both chilling and having fun snarking at each other! the situation escalates in a way that clearly baffles and delights them both! and i find it really moving for roman how easy it is for him to interact with gerri and have an effortlessly sexy rapport with her, right in the wake of his failed call with tabitha that ended so miserably. not to mention that it's, to me, one of the only times we see gerri choose to do something on impulse for fun. (that's how i read her reaction, anyway, rather than something tactical. i honestly think she just had a shitty day at work and she and roman have been secretly vibing for awhile and that's hot and entertaining to her so she just leans in in the moment.) it's just so interesting to me that she makes that choice, especially knowing that this situation is going to become SO repressed and she's going to take a stance of such denial that it ever happened. they're both just really loose and free and fun with each other in this scene and i think it's a glimpse at what they would be like as a couple if they could ever actually just exist without everything keeping them apart.

gerri doing up roman's buttons in 2.03 -- specifically, if we want to pick a precise moment, when she looks up at him. it's the one moment of physical touch + realization of attraction that they ever get to share, and i think it believably lights the match for the fire that never goes out.

gerri watching roman at the funeral. just, like, getting to see her pain for him all over her face, and in maybe the most public setting we have ever seen them in. especially in the wake of everything that happened in the episodes before and how over their relationship felt. to get that proof of how deeply she still feels for him -- beautiful agony!!!

the moment where roman realizes that gerri isn't actually berating him but is engaging with him sexually in the "tern haven" scene. just, like, the face journey he goes on in that moment. jesus!!! again, i find it really poignant that in the wake of a failed sexual encounter with tabitha, gerri is just like right there totally understanding how to connect with him. they're in a dance now.

it's SO hard to definitively choose one last one when there's such a festival of riches, but i shall go with the "stone-cold killer bitch" / "who says you don't know how to flirt?" exchange, because it immediately set the tone of their dynamic. there's a little fun, a little dryly flirty energy going on there, and the visual of roman flopping awkwardly down on the couch next to her and then sitting lower than her -- it's all just so their vibe, baby. it really impresses me that that first interaction holds so much of what's to come re: their dynamic even though what's to come wasn't, at that point, planned at all. (presumably because j and kieran's chemistry and dynamic was already long-established due to their friendship and that informed the relationship a lot!) basically: meant 2 be!!!!

[navree]

How do you think Augustus felt about Livia?

It's a bit hard to parse out how the man felt about anyone, just because he controlled his image so tightly that nobody ever publicly saw anything he didn't want them to see, save for some very rare exceptions (ex: Augustus is recorded as having become publicly emotional three times in his entire public life, and two out of those three were very likely deliberate performances meant to engender a specific response, though one of them was definitely just spontaneous emotion). And with the added caveat that trying to ascribe feelings to historical figures can be very tough because those involve private thoughts that we are just not historically privy to, especially during the Antiquity where we're just missing so many records, I think it's fair to say that there was some kind of love there.

There's a lot of misconceptions around their relationship because Augustus and Livia just have very negative public reputations (Augustus just due to the popularity of Antony and Cleopatra as a couple, which means that most stories of this time are about them, slotting him into the role of antagonist or even outright villain in contrast to them as protagonists; Livia due to the popularity of stories like I, Claudius, which painted her as a scheming manipulator and burgeoned outward from there) that sees them both as people who didn't care about anyone, let alone possibly each other, and were in this relationship purely for opportunism and power. That's not to say that they didn't care about the power or opportunities the match would have afforded both of them, they clearly did; I've never bought into the legend that Octavian fell in love with Livia at first sight because nothing I've read about the guy, Mr. "hasten slowly" himself, shows someone who made snap judgments without thought. Octavian had prestige from his relationship to Caesar, and his family was influential in their Roman suburb, but he didn't have the patrician family roots that Livia did, and marrying her would have given him additional prestige to really solidify power. For Livia's part, her family was on the downward spiral after having repeatedly been on the wrong side in recent wars (her father fought for Brutus and Cassius, her first husband routinely was opposed to Augustus not just at Philippi but also during Fulvia's War and my beloved Siege of Perusia as well as siding with Sextus Pompey when he opposed Octavian), and allying herself instead with someone who was shoring up massive amounts of power and influence in his own right would have been hugely beneficial for her and her children. There was absolutely a calculus that went into this relationship and in figuring out what both parties could bring to the table to make the marriage viable against some not great optics, like Livia already being pregnant by her first husband and Octavian getting ready to break his alliance to Sextus by divorcing Scribonia (literally on the day she gave birth to Julia, my man you couldn't have waited a day?).

But I don't think that means that there wasn't any feeling there. For one, again, there were some bad optics involved as well as changes in alliances, and Livia definitely needed Octavian more than he needed her; he could have absolutely found some other patrician woman to boost up his pedigree by association rather than one from a family that had constantly opposed him. I wouldn't be shocked if there had been some emotion behind choosing Livia specifically, that when they met (sources say she was personally introduced to him before they decided to get married, so they had at least one chance for rapport) they formed a connection of some kind and an appreciation for each other. We also know that Octavian, as he grew in power and especially once things steadied in Rome and he got his name changed to Augustus, still relied on her as a source of advice and listened to her as a counselor, in spite of her gender and the extreme patriarchal nature of Rome. Augustus, when it comes to Livia's role as an advisor to him, actually had Livia occupying a space very similar to the one he had originally occupied for Julius Caesar: not just being an advisor and a trusted someone at their side, but also someone you could ask to intercede for you with The Great Man either on your behalf or on the behalf of someone you cared about. That Augustus allowed this at all shows a care for her, because he was big on the rigid societal structures and propriety of Ancient Rome, what with all his family laws and his strong stance on morality. But I do think the strongest indicator of love between them, since I do believe there was a love between them, is in the fact that they stayed married.

Livia and Augustus were married for 51 years, from 39 BC until he died in AD 14. And it is honestly wild that, in all that time, they never got divorced. Divorce in Ancient Roman times was exceptionally easy. Literally all was required was that one of the parties move out of the house and that's it, you're considered divorced legally and religiously in all ways that mattered. That's why, when you read about these people, you see how often they're just getting divorced right and left at the slightest provocation, Augustus included, divorcing Claudia and Scribonia with relative ease. But not Livia, even though the marriage wasn't doing the one thing most political marriages really need to be doing: bringing in children. Livia and Augustus never had any children, and only ever one pregnancy, which ended in a stillbirth. Given that Augustus specifically really needed an acceptable heir, as he was trying to build a hereditary autocracy that relied on power being passed down from father to son, rather than the semi-democracy Rome had at the time, this is a big deal. We know that Augustus struggled with heirs, mostly because everyone he ever wanted as an heir kept dying before him (which has to suck, just on a personal level, given that a lot of these were family members that he'd been close to and viewed as his own children, sorry man), and he probably would have very much liked to have a natural son to prepare to succeed him, rather than bouncing around. And given how quickly it became apparent that his marriage to Livia was not going to give him any children at all, let alone any sons, he could have easily divorced her with just a few words and found someone else, especially after he cemented his power following Actium and patrician prestige was no longer as important as his own personal presence. But he didn't do that. For a man who always thought ahead and always made decisions based on how they would advance the goals he felt he needed to have, irregardless of personal feeling (the existence of the Second Triumvirate is basically proof that Augustus, very quickly in his political career, developed a habit of shunting his own personal feelings to the side for the sake of doing what needed to be done), choosing to stay in a marriage that wasn't really offering him anything beyond the companionship of a woman he loved is very weird. It speaks to the amount and the depth of feeling there, that he decided to remove political calculation and opportunism from his thought process and decide to stay in a marriage that wasn't necessarily advantageous, because he wanted to, because he cared about and loved the person he was married to.

All in all, I think he cared about her, probably did love her, and even if there was some opportunism in the match, it seems to have been a marriage between two people who enjoyed being together and liked each other.

[pharawee]

I haven’t spontaneously forgotten about my favourite show. I was just gone for a couple of days and could only watch Big Dragon now. I’m so glad I didn’t rush myself though because episode 7 was so, so good. Just the perfect mix of funny, sweet moments and good communication.

So essentially an extra fancy episode of mongbiaw.

But more on that later.

I actually kind of like how Big Dragon has this slight overlap between episodes. It’s not just a rehash of stuff we’ve already seen. The old scene is always  interspersed with a previously unseen perspective. It’s like at the start of each episode the scene opens up a bit more, revealing more of the characters and their intentions.

In episode 6 the focus was on the kiss, but episode 7 starts with Mangkorn’s confession: I like you. I won’t let you run away anymore.

And Yai is very clearly touched by Mangkorn’s sincerity. It’s probably exactly what he needs (and it’s like Hong said in the previous ep): between the two of them, someone had to have the courage to make a choice.

And tbh I’m always weak for the single perfect tear trope.

So is everyone else at the Faculty of Business Administration.

I love how Mangkorn and Yai immediately go back to their usual ways, teasing and pouting their way through the conversation (and that’s part of why they’re attracted to each other, right? It’d be weird to take that away), only this time their way of communicating is a bit more careful and considerate. More playful and less biting.

Mangkorn asks about Nine, but it’s pretty clear to me that he already knows that Nine isn’t serious competition. He trusts Yai, and...

Yeah, no.

It’s so nice to see them communicate so well. In previous scenes (like the big “break-up” scene in the pub’s bedroom in ep 6) they went by words alone and completely ignored the way things were said. But here what’s important isn’t the topic of conversation. It’s them building rapport.

It’s Mangkorn doubling down on his confession and making sure Yai knows he’s serious. It’s Yai being his usual bratty self and accepting Mangkorn’s affection. Because more than anything Yai needs reassurance, and Mangkorn knows that now.

Also, the colour grading in this episode was just lovely - all soft and peachy and warm, and very flattering on the usual reds and greens.

We’re treated to a very important (!) montage of Mangkorn and Yai doing MosBank things. It’s like a special episode of mongbiaw, their travel vlog, and I’m pretty sure that’s why they included it. They just vibe so well.

And tbh I’m so glad Mangkorn drives a regular standard motorcycle. I’m so tired of superbikes in BL (except in LITA, where they made sense - and they even had Aprilias and Yamahas instead of the usual overhyped Ducatis... uh, sorry for the rant. Seems like I’m particular about motorcycles now.)

Mangkorn and Yai visit a temple, where they make merit and start creating some of their own “myth” together. Because, you see, not only is this the temple Mangkorn’s parents visited to pray for a child - Mangkorn also told Yai the story behind Hong and his engagement; about why he’s named Mangkorn (Dragon) and she’s named Hong (Phoenix).

Dragon and Phoenix are two of four Guardians. They’re auspicious names given to children intended by their parents to be together.

Yai’s symbol (and his family name), the tiger, is also one of the four Guardians. Turns out Mangkorn’s parents had the right idea, just the wrong symbol.

I’ve used google lens on this. It means dragon and tiger.

That leaves the turtle. Is Nadear the turtle? It can’t be Nine, even though he’d probably disagree. Maybe there’s a hidden fifth mythological animal that’s forever third-wheeling.

Also, I can’t believe this show made fun of itself and referenced the mpreg* in the book. I was legit scared there for a minute.

(*There was no mpreg. Just a couple of chapters on some weird experimental pregnancy drug that randomly made its way into Yai’s hands so of course he decided he needed to have Mangkorn’s babies. He then had some kind of imagined pregnancy and, honestly, the less said about this the better.)

Anyway, the cute mosbank sticker makes its return.

As soon as Yai got out the camcorder (maybe I’m way out of the loop but people still use these in 2022? or is this a vintage thing and I’m getting old?) and said that he’d forgotten the memory card I knew Mangkorn would give him the cursed thing that started all of this. Only now they’ll rewrite it with new, better memories.

And Yai is wearing his favourite shoes again.

On to Nine third-wheeling for 5 minutes straight. Everyone’s making the most amazing faces.

Nadear, you did this to yourself. You have no right to be embarrassed.

The face of a man who just wanted to eat his crab dumpling in peace.

I’m pretty sure Nine bought this place and immediately had it demolished. 

But it isn’t over yet.

I mean, it is. Nine just refuses to get the hint and is becoming increasingly annoying about it (I still love you, Big, no worries).

But it’s interesting how the left side of the screen - Mangkorn included - is in green. Nine, in neutral colours, is set against the red side. It’s like he’s surrounded by red and green but he isn’t a part of it. He remains an outsider.

This is Star Hunter’s weekly reminder to give this man his own show. Also, is this his scheming face? You better not be planning anything, Nine. It better not be involving any experimental pregnancy drugs.

Back to the mongbiaw montage:

Same, pigeon, same.

I guess it’s confirmed, both Mos and Mangkorn are certified grandpas.

At this point, they just gave Mosbank a camera and let them loose in a theme park tbh. They certainly know their target audience (it’s me, I’m their target audience).

And it wouldn’t be Big Dragon without another BJ joke. As if you need to ask, Yai (but it’s more polite if you do).

If they ever start selling these plushies it’s over for me.

The bracelets, not so much, but it’s a cute touch.

Plus, it leads to Mangkorn mentioning yin and yang, and the balance of nature - and again the four mythical animals: Dragon, Phoenix, Tiger and Turtle. It also leads to Mangkorn wondering what kind of story they’re a part of... and I wish the translator had made it more clear but the whole thing is another cheesy/clever way of self-referencing the book/show. The subtitles say “A dragon owns Yai”, but I’m pretty sure what’s meant is มังกรกินใหญ่ (Mangkorn kin Yai) - Dragon Eats Yai, which is the title of the book/series in Thai.

Then Mangkorn apologises again, this time for the way they met. And it might be easy to dismiss this whole bit because what is there for Mangkorn to apologise? Sure, he blackmailed Yai into hanging out with him, but Yai’s the one who successfully drugged Mangkorn (and, uh, himself) and recorded their night together (again, what kind of idiotic idea is this even... Nine is dodging a bullet there). 

But I think from Mangkorn’s perspective he now knows that Yai needs this far more than he does. Yai needs to feel safe and cherished. Mangkorn’s still the driving force in their relationship, I’d say, but he’s actively choosing to give in. The push and shove between them, the tiger vs dragon analogy, the contrast between red and green, it’s balanced out. The yin and yang bracelets are proof of that.

I can’t handle how soft this episode is. I just can’t. Usually the penultimate episode in Thai BL is reserved for pain and suffering but Big Dragon said nah and gave us MosBank in shades of pink. Thank you, Star Hunter, I owe you my life.

I was waiting for Mangkorn to admit that he’d been crushing on Yai since their freshman year. It was one of my favourite bits in the book. And look at him, he’s so gone. Can you imagine him randomly coming across the Star & Moon pictures (and if all he saw were pictures he probably wasn’t even involved in the contest) and just stopping at Yai?

He must have stared at Yai’s picture for days until he decided to find more about him. And this was years ago. He was hopelessly in love with someone he only knew from afar - who then, once they met, openly hated him. And now he’s holding this man in his arms. Mangkorn is truly living his dream.

This is like Sarawatine minus the high fives.*

(*Don’t get me wrong, I love 2gether and the whole pining for years trope. Plus, Tine is one of my favourite characters - which probably tells you all you need to know about me lmao)

But anyway.

Yai needs his daily dose of reassurance, so he asks Mangkorn to never leave him - to which Mangkorn replies that he won’t.

What a painful bit of foreshadowing. I bet that’s not going to trigger Yai’s abandonment issues at all once he gets wind of the whole going to New York thing. It might even make them worse. After all, if this is a lie, then what about all the other sweet things Mangkorn told him so sincerely? It might be a little thing to other people, but at this point Yai has been so incredibly hurt by his mother leaving/dying that the smallest setback is probably going to seem like being left all over again.

But I love how this scene is a direct callback to the scene in episode 4 where Yai is alone in his bedroom with his hand, his frustration imagination and Mangkorn’s ig as his only company:

Looks like Mangkorn isn’t the only one fulfilling his fantasies.

And I love this scene but that’s got to be the tiniest bathtub ever (and is that a red toilet? Cosy.)

2022 is the year of the finger to lips trope and I am here for it.

Oh look, another bit of foreshadowing:

Mangkorn was so close to telling Yai about New York and it’s going to bite him in the arse. But tbh Yai probably would have been hurt anyway. There’s no way this isn’t going to hurt him, even if he’s trying to be considerate (going by the preview for ep 8). Even after he’s said that Mangkorn’s future is his happiness.

But this bit, this bit right here:

Never mind that Mangkorn probably spent a whole night, drunk and crying, writing this very bad, very cheesy poem (my guess: it isn’t the only one. Come on, this boy spent years pining after the Moon of Business Administration. There’s dozens of these things!).

It’s the Are you being naughty part that Mangkorn says twice and that has Yai sober up instantly. It’s doing things to me. Oh. Oh no. 🫠

And this show better be true to its word and show us more of this scene next week because it’d be a waste if they didn’t.

But also who has 4 metres of weirdly shaped satin fabric just lying around at home? Is Mangkorn a cosplayer, too? Don’t use satin. It’s horrible to sew with.

[panelshowsource]

it seem so 😔 it's amazing to hear he's recovering well enough to write a whole show and do a whole tour! i have a feeling it won't be filmed, so it would be great to hear any of your experiences if you get a chance to see the show. (maybe you can send me a summary? i'm sure he'll talk more about it all then, given the synopsis for the tour :')) off the back of sean, rhod, and janey godley, i was just thinking about how the generation of comedians i grew up with are hitting more vulnerable years, which is very sobering, but i digress...

here are the tour dates for anyone who missed the announcement!

here on panelshowsource? because i was busy and not online :)

sorry anon, you sent this a couple days after his bday and i don't think i'll do belated posts. i actually wanted to do something for it, but i was just busy with life and didn't get enough of a head start (i usually need 2–3 days prep time). next time!

yes i totally agree! i like daisy on the show because she clearly loves music (the way she's always hyping up the identity parade artists is honestly really wholesome and appreciated) and she is a riot — even if she's exaggerating, better that someone is exaggerating having fun than not. i guess that's where daisy and jamali balance each other out, some episodes lmaooo greg is a textbook ham, so daisy getting such a kick out of his RIDICULOUS jokes — which makes greg so happy — plus greg and noel already having such a comfortable (and often silly) rapport makes them such a solid 3. greg and jamali have definitely gotten more comfortable with each other, too. they're a fucking random bag of people but i think it works! that show is a hot mess of good, goofy vibes

yeah, sometimes! just depends on the interviewee. last new one i listened to was probably ed byrne? i was just listening to a john kearns one since (spoiler alert for this ask post) someone asked for a collection folder for john — it's a sweet one. to be fair, john is just a sweet man. i'm not crazy about richard herring — he's fine — so sometimes i'll quit mid-way if richard is making it too much about himself or complaining too much (you know how he is). but in general i don't think i've missed anything significant bc i got bored or skipped an ep. do you recommend one?

sure! they're honestly one of my faves ever. obsessed with them. i was just thinking about what chaos jimmy + jon + joe + roisin are, generally the episodes when joe is filling in for sean. jimmy already loves a derailing, and you can tell he gets such a kick out of both joe and roisin (same way he gets a kick out of rob beckett, honestly), and jon really lets loose with those three — they're SO stupid hahahaha like this has to be one of the most random, stupid episodes ever i love it so much

it will be my pleasure doing research for such a gifset 😈

i have added him to the collection folder!

linked to some typical panel shows + added his radio 4 series, his latest radio dramedy with tim key and his sitcom top coppers (both added to the secondary masterpost), a couple sketch things, a couple youtube things :) i also collected his podcasts + a few random episodes i don't host on drive and added the links in a doc which i added as well (i'll go back and do that for the existing collections this weekend!)

enjoy!

ps. working on nish, mike wozniak, and david & victoria folders

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[septembersghost]

When did you start to ship Kim and Jimmy on BCS? And why are they one of your favourite tv couples?

seven years is a long time from that first watch, so i'm not sure if i can totally pinpoint an initial when - it could easily be their very first scene in the parking garage, which i love SO much and tells us quite a lot about them with hardly any dialogue (they clearly already have a history and rapport, they don't even have to finish sentences to know what the other means, he doesn't hesitate to casually take her cigarette and there's an intimacy in that, like a prelude to a kiss, she fixes the trash can he attacks without second thought), it's perfectly lit and scored, they look like they've walked right out of a classic noir standing there together. i remember i immediately wanted to know more about her and about their relationship. but if it wasn't that moment, it was in hero. howard is extremely irked and (correctly) calls what jimmy did at the billboard "a damn stunt," and kim, looking up at the screen, back turned, smiles. it's tiny and fleeting, but it says everything. she knows it's a stunt too, but she's not mad about it. she's amused and fond and maybe even slightly proud in a very strange way. it establishes not only how she's his ally, but also that maybe there's a mischievous streak in her too. (this goes very badly for them later but! initially that's endearing and undoubtedly part of the attraction.)

i wrote a little off-the-cuff about them here (HOW did that post get so many notes?!), but something that appealed to me was always how very matched and grounded and REAL they felt. i'm a sappy romantic, i love a love story (happy or tragic), so it's easy to entice me with a dynamic that i enjoy, but something about jimmy and kim was really special in its approach. it isn't necessarily "epic" in that sense of grand gestures and dramatic swells of violins and world shifting kisses (not that there's anything wrong with any of that), it's something i've talked about before with their wedding. it's bare. there's no white tulle, no rose arches. and i'm a gowns and glitter kind of girl in many ways, but their lack of that made them so accessible to me, so...refreshing and honest. the thing that some people (*coughs at bird app*) complain about, the supposed lack of sexual chemistry, i see everywhere, and even prefer in the way they presented it. the way they gravitate towards one another and share glances and brush against each other just to touch, the way they're so obviously at home together. it's not ever objectified in the obvious way that romance is sometimes packaged for us. kim pushing him against the wall in the stairwell, her foot under the table, his hand on her shoulder in the hospital, the way he leans closer in to her, them companionably brushing their teeth and sharing meals and tending wounds, it's all so electric, but also has a sense of ease and tangibility. it's something in the fact that they're such different people on the surface - jimmy exuberant and talkative, kim restrained and listening, and yet underneath so matched and such complements. they have these pieces that fit together perfectly and form a whole. they're both fascinating characters individually, and together that dynamic is so alluring and touching to me. they've both lived with such lonely hearts and then find fulfillment with each other. it's something about it going beyond words and living in their expressions and unspoken language. it's something in always being on each other's side. their friendship itself is so connective that it makes their attraction and romantic love even richer. it's the way she's so loyal to him and wants to help him through pain, and the way he's so admiring of her and wants to give her a safe place to simply be. (and then we learned they would quite literally die and kill for each other and that is epitome, HEIGHT of Romantic, be still my heart.) it's the way no one else in the world truly sees them, for who they are and all they are, for all their good points and their ingenuity and their warmth, and in their flaws and shadows, and accepts and adores them even still.

bob said (of their final shared smoking scene, but it feels true throughout the story): "they can just exist next to each other. something that they very much like to do." there's something so beautiful and affecting in that to me. finding someone who is content simply to exist next to you. to be proud of you and love you, to stand by you, even at your darkest. to take your hand in front of filtered golden light. to lean quietly against a wall and be suffused with love, despite the pain and the trouble and the lost time, and just be glad you're there and alive with them. to spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you, and then to heal it, and recognize it wasn't so stupid after all. it's another version of a flower blooming in the sands of the desert, even after devastating sacrifice. something true and delicate and alive remains. that kind of love is rare and precious. it's knowing you'll have that love for the rest of your life.

[things-with-teeth]

13 / 10 / 14 / 15 For the OFMD ask meme?

13 Did Ed really plan to murder Stede when he told Izzy the plan?

100%. Like, he's very clearly not happy about it -- he and Stede have a pretty instantaneous rapport that can't be read as anything other than completely sincere -- but he definitely means it in the moment. He abandons that plan very soon thereafter, but I don't think we'd get him tearfully confessing that he meant to burn off Stede's face and steal his identity during the bathtub scene if he didn't, at some point, intend to do just that.

10 What the fuck is Izzy’s problem? Is it/should it be fixable?

Oooooh boy. Okay, so fair warning that while I adore Izzy as a character, I am not, uh, particularly sympathetic in some ways? I'm like 45% "what a funny feral little man" and 45% "I would enjoy seeing him get his comeuppance" and maybe 10% "Con O'Neill's voice is very sexy to me and I'm weak."

Anyway.

Short-ish answer, because there is admittedly a longer one: I think that within the story, Izzy's primary problem is that he's convinced himself that everything he's doing is for Ed's own good, but Izzy inherently does not understand Ed or conceptualize him as a whole person rather than the very specific version of Edward/Blackbeard that exists in his head. This is clear pretty much from moment one in ways that have very little to do with Stede, or the way we later see him explicitly ignore what Ed says he needs and wants in favor of what Izzy thinks he needs. He's been working with Ed for some mumble mumble period of time, and the clouds-that-look-like-frankfurters thing just flies completely over his head. He admires Ed as this hypercompetent sailor, but is also very quick to dismiss Ed's observations because they look a bit more whimsical than he's comfortable with.

Insofar as what is narratively wrong with Izzy, he is to Ed what the Badmintons are to Stede: the voice of the status quo, there to drag one of our deuteragonists back into the kind of toxic masculinity that the show is very explicitly condemnatory of. It's not an accident that one episode after Chauncy derails Stede's attempts to move toward something healthy and loving by playing on his insecurities and fears, Izzy is there doing approximately the same thing with Ed.

That being said, I think we have like 50/50 odds of an Izzy redemption arc in the future, and I'm fine with that. Someday I'll write a whole bit of meta about how important it is that we see Fang and Ivan talking about how it makes Fang feel when Izzy pulls his beard and how Ivan is nothing but supportive during that conversation, long before either of them have any significant exposure to the talk-it-through culture of the Revenge; I think at the end of the day, this is a narrative that supports the idea that men will seek healthier ways of communicating and relating to each other if given the opportunity. Izzy has already been given a lot more complexity and nuance than someone like the Badmintons, and I don't think it's outside of the realm of possibility that we'll see him growing and changing in future seasons.

It's either that or we'll see him go full-throated villain, which tbh I'm also fine with.

14 Favorite AU idea?

So!!! Confession time: I'm in general not a huge fan of anything other than the close-canon, what-if kind of AU. That being said, there are always exceptions. Pretty please drop your favorite AU fics in my inbox or the replies.

15 What’s your number one wish for season 2 (besides happening at all or couples being reunited)?

a) If you've read my fic, you know that what I want most in this world is Ed and Stede bonding with the half of the crew that they each got in the divorce.

b) More of Vico Ortiz's face and also the pink robe of gay sadness, because my needs are really very simple and straightforward at the end of the day.

[forever-rogue]

Hello! For the prompts could I please request "i'd rather argue with you, than laugh with anyone else." with Bucky? Thank you and merry Christmas 🤶🏻

Warnings | Mentions of blood

Word Count | 1.2k

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Masterlist | Bucky, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You’re the worst,” you rolled your eyes at the infuriating man standing across the hallway. You had been busy decorating your door with a wreath and some other small decorations for the holiday when you’d heard him tromping up the stairs and down the hall. You didn’t know much about your neighbor but did know that he kept odd hours and was generally…not the nicest.

As soon as he came into view you offered him a megawatt smile and a cheery hello in an attempt to spread some neighborly holiday cheer. He’d said nothing but look at you as though you were an alien with a frown deeply etched on his features. So much for some cheer. You turned back to hanging up the lights around your door and muttered the last little bit under your breath. Not fully intended for him to hear and yet…

“Come again?” he had opened his door and was currently leaning against the door, arms crossed over his broad chest. If he weren’t such a stuffy douche, you could have admitted he was handsome. He still was, of course, in that classic pretty boy sort of way, but it was soured by his attitude. Swallowing thickly, you decided that you weren’t going to back down but instead give into his little game.

“I said,” you mirrored his position, “you are the worst.”

“Is that so?” he was every bit the image of cool as he just watched, blue eyes icy as he held your gaze, “a bold assumption to make when you don’t even know someone.”

“I know enough,” you huffed, trying not to give in to the charm you knew he was trying to use on you. It might have worked for other people, but it wasn’t going to work on you, “you’ve lived here for what? Almost three years now and I’ve tried to be nothing but kind and neighborly toward you and yet you are still such a-a- a douche.”

He remained silent as a scowl took the place of the smug little smirk he formerly had on as he looked you over. You were about to turn back to finishing your decorations when you realized he still hadn’t moved.

“Have you ever considered that perhaps not everyone wants to be friends with you?” you were taken aback by the biting tone of his words as you just looked at him in surprise. You weren’t trying to be friends…necessarily. Just neighborly if nothing else, “we can just be neighbors and need nothing else. We live across the hall from each other, nothing less and nothing more.”

“Fine,” you agreed, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared at him, “Fine. If that’s what you want, fine. Don’t expect any more cookies when I bake and have extra!”

“Fine,” he agreed, clearly trying not to break into a fit of laughter, “keep your subpar cookies to yourself.”

“They are not subpar!” you insisted but it was no use; he’d already disappeared into his own apartment, shutting the door with a soft click. What an obnoxious man! But you weren’t going to let him ruin your festive cheer; instead you finished decorating while humming your breath.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

And that’s how it continued on for the next couple of months; one of you would be coming or going and the other would have some sort of smart remark to make. It became a sort of rapport between the two of you, although it never became too cruel. You were just almost... having some fun? It was an odd relationship that was for sure. But you weren’t going to question it. It worked…right?

On this particular evening, you were late getting home and worn out from a long day at the office. You had a few bags of groceries in your arms and struggled to open your door, but it was something else entirely that caught your attention. You stilled in your movements and then heard it again - loud meowing coming from his apartment.

Odd. You hadn’t ever heard it before; you definitely didn’t think he was the type of man that would have a cat. Ignoring it, you turned back to your door and finally managed to get it open. But just as you were about to shut yourself away for the night, you heard it again. Normally, you wouldn’t have paid it much attention, but you were…worried. The meow didn’t sound like a normal meow, you knew that much. You set your bags down and walked back over to his door.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on his door and waited with baited breath. After a few moments of silence, you decided to knock again, “hello? James?”

When he didn’t answer after a few minutes, an odd feeling welled up in your stomach. You knew that despite your differences, he wouldn’t just ignore you if you were directly knocking on his door. Come to think of it, you hadn’t seen him that morning or the evening before either. When was the last time you saw him?

You were suddenly on edge as you realized something was off. Checking the doorknob, you weren’t surprised to find that the door was locked. But that wasn’t going to stop you; reaching into your hair, you pulled out a bobby pin and got onto your knees so you were eye-level with the knob. You hadn’t picked a lock in sometime, but it wasn’t something you were likely to forget how to do.

It only took a few moments of picking before you heard that satisfying click and left the knob unlock. Standing back up, you looked up and down the hall before opening the door and slipping inside his apartment. There wasn’t even a moment to look around before you saw a small, white blur rushed over to you and wrapped around your legs.

The small cat looked up at you with a loud meow before rubbing her head against your leg and purring. Leaning down, you gently petted her. She was adorable - small with a fluffy white coat and the softest meow. In essence, she was the complete opposite of her owner. Tagging the little take on her collar between two fingers you read over her name.

“Alpine,” you whispered as perked up at the sound of her name. Smiling softly, you offered a few more pets before taking a lot around the utilitarian apartment, finding it to be mostly what you’d expected. What you didn’t like was the fact that her food bowls were empty and her water dispenser running low. No, no - you didn’t know much about the man, but you knew he wouldn’t do something like this by choice.

Walking around the rest of the dark apartment, flipping on the lights as you went, you tried to piece together when he was last here. Nothing seemed out of place, but you didn't know what could have happened. Looking around his bedroom, you felt almost guilty about being in his personal space but it wasn’t like you were here for pleasure. You are really sure why you were still here since nothing seemed out of place.

“Maybe you were just extra hungry today and want him to come,” you shrugged at the small cat who appeared to be hanging on every word. When you walked into the kitchen, you looked around for her to fill up her bowl, but you were interrupted by the sound of the door slowly opening. Oh no.

Unsure of what to do and quickly deciding that jumping out the window was not an option, you braced yourself for his wrath…and possibly him completely freaking out and calling the police.

Instead of anger, you were met with a pair of confused but tired blue eyes. You looked at him nervously, ready to try and make up an excuse but when you realized his face was bloody and bruised everything else left your mind.

“What happened?”

“What are you doing here?”

You both spoke at the same time, and you sighed softly before holding up your hands in earnest and trying to siddle towards the door, “I heard Alpine meowing and I’d ever heard it before and hadn’t seen you, and I was…worried.”

“Oh,” he said as he looked between the two of you in confusion, “y-you were about me?”

“I mean,” you shrugged lightly, “I don’t give a shit about you, but I do care about animals, and you have a pretty cute cat.”

“Yeah,” he sighed as he dropped his bag by the floor, a knowing little smirk on his face, “sure, that was totally it. Wait - do you break into my apartment?”

“I, umm…I mean,” you gestured with your hands as you tried to play it off, “technically. But I didn’t knock down your door or anything so…”

“You just picked my lock,” he finished as you nodded with a tight smile, “and then introduced yourself to my cat and then no doubt looked through the apartment.”

“I mean, she’s sweet and I just wanted to see if someone was up with you,” this time you couldn’t meet his eyes, “and I did knock first.”

“I don’t know if knowing that you know how to pick locks is exactly reassuring…not a skill set most people possess,” this time he leaned on the counter you could see that he was definitely hurt.

“James. What happened?” you couldn’t stop yourself from stepping to his and side and giving him the once over, “you’re hurt.”

“I’m fine,” he grimaced with a wave of his hand as he tried to keep a straight face. The rational part of your brain was telling you to leave it and walk away; this was your douchebag neighbor after all. But the part of you that knew this was inevitable, “you should see the other guy.”

“How did I know you were going to say that?” you asked through a huff of laughter as you reached over and gently put a hand on his cheek, turning him so he was facing you. It didn’t look as terrible as you had initially thought, but you could still tell that he was hurting, “do I even want to know what happened?”

“Probably not,” he laughed dryly, “you’re actually worried aren’t you?”

“Well, I…ugh, yeah,” you admitted as you grabbed a paper towel and dampened it before cleaning some of the dried blood around some of the cuts on his forehead, “you weren’t home for a couple of days and then Alpine was meowing and you clearly hadn’t been here, so yeah. I guess I was.”

He closed his eyes and remained silent for a few moments as you cleaned him up. The silence that fell over the two wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable as you had expected it would. Instead it was almost…nice. When you were satisfied with his face, you reached for his hands and looked them over, tutting lightly at the bruises and scrapes there.

“What? You needn’t sound so worried,” he teased as you scoffed at him, dropping a hand to gently shove his shoulder.

“I’m not worried, you fool,” you insisted, “like I said, I’m worried about the cat if nothing else. Besides, quit being so…nice or whatever. We’re supposed to hate each other.”

“Ahh, well you see, I’d rather argue with you than laugh with anyone else,” he said it so softly, so without any venom that it took you aback for a moment. When you looked up to meet his eyes, you were able to see that he wasn’t joking or going to follow up with another smart remark. Your face warmed up as you looked away and looked at the floor. You wanted to find something snarky to say, but weren’t able to find anything to say, “what’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”

“No,” you managed to find your voice as a little smile worked its way back onto your face, “I’m just wondering how you managed to actually hold your own in a fight. You don’t like you’d be able to handle much of anything.”

“There we go,” he grinned at you, before you both exchanged a small laugh. It became quiet again and you were planning on making a hasty escape to go and digest this back in your apartment alone when he reached for your hand and gently held your wrist, “what are you doing Saturday night? If you’re not too busy baking subpar cookies..”

“Nothing,” you admitted sheepishly, “why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if you want to grab dinner,” how it said it so cooly was beyond you but you couldn’t hold back the little smile that welled up, “if you can stand being around me for that long.”

“Yeah,” you nodded softly, “I think I’ll be able to teach myself to deal with it.”

“Great…then it’s a date.”

“It’s a date,” you grinned at him as Alpine meowed at the two of you, “who would have thought, huh?”

“I always saw it coming,” he insisted with that silly, smug little smirk, “it was just a matter of time.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[evakuality]

Matteo - Episode one

Okay bear with me.  I know I’ve talked about this season a LOT over the last couple of years but I’m not going to do a rewatch (or first watch in some cases) of the Druck seasons and not include this one.  And knowing me, I will be very verbose about this one because I do just love it so much.  Even though I already talked about it at length.

So, to mix things up, I decided to watch this one in real time mode.  Which has been both lovely (revisiting what it was like to follow along with everything back then) and really frustrating (revisiting what it was like to wait for clips back then).  But it’s been a good exercise, particularly with this episode because I didn’t get truly involved in the show til a couple of weeks later so there’s a lot I missed in terms of social media etc the first time around.  So let’s start there.

Social media: It was nice to get the stuff leading in to this season which I hadn’t seen before.  The decisions around moving into the new place and getting Matteo involved etc were all super cute.  I liked the stuff with Sam after her party and how they kept that story - at the time it must really have felt like an immersive thing moving from Mia’s story to Matteo’s.  The stuff around the flatwarming party is interesting too.  Matteo and Sara’s posts make it seem like they’re at two different parties.  Matteo’s has barely and hint of Sara at all whereas hers makes it seem like they were joined at the hip all evening and super happy together.  And then even through the week her things were much more focused on Matteo (and on Leonie’s crush on David) whereas again, with his Sara only comes up if he’s asked about her.  I know it’s very clear in the clips as well, but honestly, the texts and instagram posts etc really make it clear how much she had built this up in her head vs how indifferent he is to it.  One really interesting one is where she asks Leonie not to spread it around that she and Matteo are together.  It suggests that she already knows this isn’t what she wants it to be, but either through desperation or naivety or by lying to herself, Sara doesn’t allow herself to see it.  It’s very sad for her and I do feel for her a lot more than I ever did for Emma.

Clip one: I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again now.  I really really love this clip.  It’s a perfect introduction both to Matteo’s PoV and to all the themes of the season.  Matteo is surrounded by people through the whole thing, and on the surface and from the outside it probably looks like he’s slotted in and having a great time - he talks, he dances, he appears to be having a good time and his social media is curated to make it appear that way too.  But it’s clear since we’re in his PoV that he’s actually isolated and on the outskirts of what’s going on.  That’s done both in the music and sound (the way he fades in on the discordant, out of place note will always always get me as well as the way that the chatter and ‘reality’ of the party only comes into focus when Sara makes him kiss her) and in the conversations that are held.  The way the boys really do just focus on sex sets us up for Matteo’s explosion later where he accuses them of only talking about sex - which is sadly fairly true in these earlier episodes.  And Matteo tries to join in but all he manage is ‘that looks exhausting’ and ‘you bet’ when asked about him and Sara.  The fact that his contribution is about how exhausting sex (and by extension relationships) must be is really telling of his mind set.  Everything is too exhausting for him and he’s not ready to put in much effort at all.  The isolation goes deep with this boy and it’s all already so well shown in this first clip.  I like that we got hints of that through Mia’s season as well (and the seeds were planted in Hanna’s - what with his tagging along to the cabin and his stuff with his family etc etc), and so while this is a much more closed off and sad Matteo than we’ve seen before it’s not come out of the blue.  The fact that he’s still curating his social media to look like he’s happy and connected also reminds us that what we saw before isn’t necessarily what the truth was.

Clip two: I like how Matteo, unlike Isak, is clearly already very well aware of his feelings and his attraction to boys.  His pining over Jonas is both obvious and very sad.  He’s well aware that he can’t let anyone know, and the reminder with the number on Jonas’s arm is gut wrenching for him and for us to watch.  And then scattered through the whole episode is a lot of reminders that Jonas is a ‘player’ now - it’s shown by Jonas himself, by the boys teasing him, by Hanna’s sad little ‘I’m happy for him’ message etc etc.  And all of it serves to remind Matteo that he can never have what he’s wanted for so long.  So it’s no wonder that he removes himself from the situation to go get rolls or whatever it was that he bought.  The ‘I’m waiting for you’ banter would absolutely be the last straw.  Jonas can joke that he wants a guy, but Matteo knows that he’s not going to ever be able to have it be true for real.  As an aside, I can see why a lot of people thought Jonas might be GerEven at the time because a) Matteo’s thing has always been a lot more obvious and b) Jonas seems much more open and willing to consider the ideas.

Clip three: Well, I don’t have a lot to say about this one.  Except that !!!!! this first ‘meeting’ with David is so good and so well done and it works to rock both of them out of their little ruts and makes them both ‘wake up’ in a way.  It’s nothing, just a chance meeting in a hallway, two boys passing then looking back at each other.  But we can see just how much that one glance affected Matteo as he walks off and while we don’t see it in David as yet, he also makes reference to how knocked off course he felt when he met Matteo.  I have always liked that they’re in the same year and so on a real equal footing from the start and this is all part of that.  This moment affects both of them equally, knocking them out of their complacency, and it’s such a perfectly framed and filmed and edited moment.

Clip four: One thing I hadn’t noticed til this time around is that the girl who ends up sitting next to Jonas was at the back of the classroom, already sitting at a desk, earlier.  She obviously saw her moment and scrambled to take it - the second Matteo was out of his seat, she was in it.  Perhaps news of Jonas’s new ‘player’ status is getting out and she wants some of that action.  I really like that Matteo and Amira already clearly have a much more friendly history than Isak and Sana.  They’re both forced to work together by circumstances and a teacher, but here there’s already more of a history.  Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but Sana came to Isak but here Matteo goes to Amira.  That’s because of course Matteo more obviously stashed the weed on Amira and so he immediately knows who has it and where he has to go to get it back.  But it again makes him more proactive than Isak was at this early stage.  Amira is rightfully pissed at him - Sana was defending a friend from Isak’s shitty behaviour, Amira was herself affected and so she is much more firmly involved and has more reason to be cold.  Which works because in general Amira is softer and less aggressive and cold than Sana is so it fits for her to be directly angry for herself.

Clip five: ugh, so uncomfortable!!!  Sara is trying really hard to actually communicate with Matteo, and kudos to her for actually using her words, but it’s so painfully obvious how awkward and artificial this conversation is.  It’s not really a surprise that she doesn’t feel like this is totally settled as yet and asks Leonie to keep it to herself.  On the one hand, he agreed that they’re together (after making her make the decision) but on the other hand, he broke away from kissing etc so they could watch something together.  His words may be saying what Sara wants to hear, but his body language etc is saying something entirely different.  She deserves a whole lot better than Matteo and the way he’s using her, but I guess this is how it can be - he’s cute, he’s not totally rejecting her and so she lets herself believe.  

Clip six: well, again.  This clip does such a good job of properly introducing David with several hints to what’s going on with him but no actual answers.  It’s another example of two people talking at cross purposes, but where Sara lets it drop and the conversation dies out once she hears what she wants to hear, here David picks it up again once Matteo backs off.  Again, they are a good pair - equally invested and equally willing to set and respect boundaries and try to make connections in a safe way.  Imagine how this must look to David - this boy who did shake his world up a bit in their one small moment together (as another aside - ugh the wait between that first sight and this one is so long in real time!!!), is intriguing and interesting and asks him to go smoke with him.  Which is all very cool and David wants these connections and to make friends and this boy clearly appealed to him in some way at that first meeting.  But also, this boy is asking all kinds of invasive question which threaten the things David is trying to keep private, for example the pressing of ‘you’re new’ and how ‘weird’ it is to change schools at this point.  It’s no wonder David goes cold and distant and does his best to stay aloof.  But then of course Matteo respects that boundary and pulls back and so then David is able to make connections in a safer way, talking of things that matter to him but which aren’t quite so confronting for a first chat.  Detroit, running away etc and Matteo shows that he gets it and understands those impulses.  And so by the end they’ve fairly quickly established a connection and a rapport and so Sara’s intrusion is unwelcome to both of them.  Given that David literally runs away when she appears, I wonder how much he knows of her from their shared class.  She certainly doesn’t seem to know much except that he’s the guy Leonie likes.  Speaking of which, Matteo’s ‘I think that’s someone else’ is so bizarre in this situation.  He’s talking to a ‘new’ kid at school and Sara made it clear that Leonie likes the new kid, so he shouldn’t be surprised.  But it’s obvious he already wants David for his own and acknowledging that Leonie may also like him is too much, I guess.  After Jonas and his string of people hanging off him, I doubt Matteo wants to be caught up in something similar with David.  We’ve already seen how painful a crush on an uninterested guy is for Matteo and how much of himself he has to hide away - no wonder he wants David to be ‘someone else’ and actually be someone he can think about in that way after they started to make a connection.

[mingying]

[spoilers] hosplay season 2 ep 4; ikjun/songhwa

Ah, Ep 4 gave me mixed feelings. IkSong aside, this episode had a lot of things happening at once so my emotions were quite literally thrown from one end to another in like split seconds. There are things I liked about this ep and things that I didn’t, but for the sake of uniformity I will stick to talking about IkSong in my tumblr posts!

Again, this is just my opinion and mostly musings of my own.

TL;DR: Songhwa is taking first steps towards spending time alone with Ikjun and hopefully discovering things along the way!

I loved how we got Songhwa calling Ikjun in this instance and telling him excitedly that the cafeteria is serving drumsticks! This moment may seem insignificant to non-shippers but I think it goes in line with the whole “steadily and slowly” principle for this slowburn couple. It shows that Songhwa is slowly reaching out to Ikjun again and I like that we got to see this invitation! 

She called him again even knowing that he already has a lunch date keke and this time Ikjun is keen to leave bc of obvious reasons - he didn’t want to 5th wheel a couple and a potential couple (his new targets? hahah).

The fact that Ikjun never said “Songhwa-ya” but Seokhyung KNOWS it is Songhwa? I wonder what gave that away? His tone? The way he smiled? Or was it simply Seokhyung’s intuition? I always thought that Seokhyung is a pretty observant person, he just doesn’t say things out loud but he definitely knows what is happening around him. 

She even bought coffee for him <3 I am loving this two way street. 

Also, this entire scene was honestly made up of the most random conversations ever. But, it’s a conversation that is so in tune to IkSong. It shows mundane and domesticity because they’re discussing about their mothers sending them way too much side dishes despite being grown adults. I love this. The only other time Songhwa has ever spoken something personal about her family was during Sujebi where she told him about her father’s hearing aids. 

It’s funny that Ikjun’s one condition ended up being sharing his perilla leaves with her. Them swapping side dishes is so oddly endearing! Do close friends do that? Maybe. Kekeke.

In the other scene, my heart totally melted when Songhwa brought up Uju. Once again, their conversation is borne out of natural comfort no matter how random the topic can get. They went from talking about Uju and Mone to reminiscing about their past as interns - ONLY FOR SONGHWA TO COMFORTABLY BUST INTO A SONG IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!! 

I don’t want to read too much into the choice of song Songhwa chose to sing...but...try googling Couple by Sechskies and you will realise the lyrics are very IkSong kekekeke

I laughed so hard because Ikjun’s expression was hilarious. He was embarrassed by her tone deaf singing that he sat so far, yet he waited for her uninterruptedly and even clapped for her. Friends, if there ever is anyone who would put up to your tone deaf singing like this maybe you should consider marrying them. I loved that Songhwa was also wearing his jacket. While we didn’t see how that happened, at least we got to see that Songhwa held onto the jacket right until they headed back into the hospital. I mean, that shows the level of comfort between them, right? Without her having to overthink that that gesture means something more considering everything that has happened. 

“This is nice,” Oh Songhwa, I just want you to be happy. You were so happy in this episode, honestly and I live to see that. If you two remain to be this happy for the rest of the episodes honestly I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing this similar rapport with or without endgame huhuhuhu (as long as you two are happy)

Anyway! I thought that, even though these two scenes were placed at quite a random timing with the most carefree of conversations, they were included in this episode for a reason.

And that reason in my opinion at least is because of that one scene between Songhwa and Seonbin:-

For the first time, we are able to see a little insight of Songhwa and her past relationships. And here, she specified that it was exhausting trying to go all out in mending a relationship after having arguments with her ex-bf. Of course this screencap doesn’t encapsulate all that she said but basically I have a feeling that she is now in an ‘idle’ state with Ikjun because she believes in the principle of “what is meant to be, will be” (referencing to the line of asking Seonbin to just wait, and that if they both don’t want it to end, and if they don’t stay apart, then everything will be ok).

Hmm :)

Who called who in this episode and spent some time alone with him twice I wonder...

And finally THIS statement!!! 

With just this one sentence alone we are able to tell that Songhwa wants to just leave it to fate for now. To wait and see what happens. That she’ll go along with the flow and whatever that comes from it. I take this as a positive sign for us because in this episode itself we’ve gotten her slowly opening up to Ikjun and wanting to spend time with him alone. She even wore his jacket!!!

I think that she hasn’t expressed much of her feelings directly for Ikjun bc following her principle, she’s just letting nature take its course. She’s still trying to figure out her feelings for him in my opinion, without overthinking too much and just...wanting to see if her spending time with Ikjun means something more than it should.

I’m excited to see what is in store for us in future episodes because I feel that this is just the beginning for Songhwa. We got a bit of her POV here, though not in a way we want to (which is a direct hint at IkSong) but it’s good enough to know that she isn’t entirely opposing the idea, just that she’s waiting to see where life takes her next. 

I hold on to the fact that regardless of their relationship status, Ikjun will always be the one to make her laugh. She clearly enjoys his company and clearly is comfortable enough to share personal topics with him. So yes, I am still holding hard onto the IkSong stocks! I fell so hard for this ship in the beginning because of the domesticity between them anyway, that natural rapport and affection they have for each other. Be it platonic or not, they are the IkSong couple we love so much because of that very reason so as long as they remain as happy like this, I think I’m good. (But, I’m not giving up yet okay! My cut off point is EP 6 honestly haha)

BONUS SCENE:

What are they so cute for honestly? The way Songhwa just BURST into laughter - that was the loudest laugh ever from her. They’re so cute please have mercy, my heart is fragile adkjsakjd

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x05 Review

The Quinceañero was a truly historic ep featuring the first time two boys have ever kissed on a Disney show. Let’s dig in!

We got the second same-sex kiss in Disney history tonight, Big Shot had the first last Friday, and the first kiss between two boys in Disney history. It’s a huge step forward. That’s not to say that Disney is going to start approving more same-sex kisses or lgbtq relationships or characters but the door is now open and at least some other shows and movies will be able to eventually follow in HSMTMTS steps.

Really nice cover of The Climb, Joe has such a great voice. It was cute that young Seb had watched young Carlos’ dance vid and felt inspired. Frankie and Joe being an irl couple certainly helps give Seblos a good rapport but it also helps that creator and showrunner Tim Federle is an openly gay man himself. I think if a straight man was showrunner we probably wouldn’t get such dedication to Seblos as a couple. 

It was a really funny ep too: Carlos saying his love language is riddles, Ricky asking Nini who they talk to when doing their confessionals, Carlos saying Miss Jenn was a master of smoke and mirrors, Benjamin Mazzara and Mike Bowen interacting. My personal favourite gags were when Big Red said he always wanted a nickname and Kourtney immediately did an office stare and when Nini said Picasso was a terrible person.

Gina still going through it. Kourtney is right that it doesn’t really make sense that Gina is now going to all this trouble for Carlos but to be honest the writing and pacing has been disjointed so far this season so a lot of things aren’t flowing as well as they need to. Is what Gina regrets convincing Ricky to go back on stage as that helped get Rini back together? That’s petty but fair and also true to teenage emotions (though she shouldn’t beat herself up too much, Rini were clearly on the path to getting back together by that point anyway).

Jesus Christ, Ricky needs to read the room. Last ep he correctly realized that Gina wouldn’t want to hear about his Nini issues and tried to stop Big Red from mentioning them but now he’s just doing it himself? Obviously they’re trying to drill in the fact that for now Rina is one sided but it’s a little much. Also really doesn’t make sense that Ricky wouldn’t go to Kourtney or Big Red for this kind of advice.

Sofia Wylie was killing it this ep, both her and Joe are showstoppers. A Dancer’s Heart was great and she did a good job of acting on the verge of tears almost the entire ep

At least EJ actually thought to ask Gina how she’s feeling though and she clearly appreciated it after she got over her shock. It does seem that reports of Portwell’s demise were greatly exaggerated, with the music and the longing stares they’re setting up for at least EJ to have a crush on Gina. Hell even Mazzara picked up on it at the end. I had noted last week that it seemed like Gina’s story line in S2 was being thrown out of balance by the writers dropping a planned Portwell plot and sure enough this week we actually begin to see Gina’s story arc not being entirely her pining over Ricky. 

EJ also benefits by being given something to do instead of just standing around in the back. I’m glad he took Mazzara up on the AV club offer and they have a nice mentor-mentee relationship going on. It’s also a nice little parallel with 1x05 when Gina told off EJ and had a moment with Ricky and now in 2x05 Gina tells off Ricky and has a moment with EJ. 

Matt seemingly dismissed Portwell as a friendship rather than even hinting at something between them. I guess he could have been told to keep it under wraps as much as possible but odd that they wouldn’t hype it a bit; it’s not like this came completely out of left field, people were wondering if Portwell might happen because of the moment they had in 1x10 and the facetime call they had before S2. Sofia has already said that Gina will have love interests this season and EJ being one, even if it’s brief, would make whole lot of sense since there’s really no one else for except Jack who only shows up much later and doesn’t seem to be in more than an ep or two.

Rini was sweet tonight. Yes Ricky is being clingy which stems in large part from his mom’s abandonment and in fairness Ricky and Nini have probably been used to spending much of their time with each other since they were kids. Loved that ‘I think you kinda you know’’ call back tonight. Looks like Nini will be cast as the Rose which should be interesting.

Miss Jenn is pulling Mike Bowen, Ben Mazzara, and Zach Roy. Good for her! Jike shippers certainly feasted tonight as Mike crashed a teen bday party just to see Miss Jenn and we got confirmation that everyone’s fave Disney Dilf was born in the 70s and must be no older than 51.

Well gotta love Lily’s commitment to bringing down East High and drinking scalding hot black coffee. She really seems like she just stepped off the set of Glee

Really hope we see those puppies and man was that wolf adorable

Not both HSMTMTS and Love Victor both making Okay Boomer jokes (it worked when Pilar said it to Felix but not when Ricky said it to his dad)

Big Red exposing Kourtney and Howie was good and it looks like their plot kicks into high gear next ep

Bet Tim thought he was real clever for that shot of Mazzara, Mike, and Miss Jenn in a triangle

A well shot ep except for one weird  and abrupt cut from Mazzara saying Caswell to Seblos outside the barn

Looking Ahead:

EJ stopping Gina from leaving would certainly further their relationship and would parallel him being the one to bring her back in S1. I still don’t get why they didn’t just use the Valentine’s chocolates as a plot device to further this plot; just have EJ secretly send them as he was also lonely and you can still have Gina think they were from Ricky.

From what I’ve seen online this Portwell hint has been controversial. It’s true that there’s an age gap between the characters of 2ish years and a much bigger one between the actors but I don’t think that will stop Tim as he already had EJ date Nini. I’ve also seen comments that it would be a bad idea since EJ is leaving at the end of S2 once he graduates but he’s not actually leaving, they’ll keep him around in some fashion until the current juniors graduate. 

So far it seems like Rini is the Rucas of hsmtmts, Rina is the Lucaya, and Portwell is the Joshaya.

Kowie starts progressing a bit next ep and we may possible see Antoine next week or the week after according to Larry.

Presumably Ricky’s clinginess starts causing trouble between him and Nini.

Still so funny that North High just up and decided to do Beauty and the Beast just to bring down East High.

Until next week wildcats

[dameronology]

tea & whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 2

part two: a comprehensive study of how far you can push a cowboy before he breaks

summary: you continue to try and break jack’s ego, but nothing seems to be working - especially when you have to play a married couple, and his observant tendencies begin to break your confident facade instead 

song for this chapter: my friend by hayley williams

ok so this wasn’t gonna be out until december 1st but someone who donated to my ko-fi asked for part 2 and...i couldn’t resist. this also touches a little more on the reader + eggsy’s relationship and it’s background. enjoy!

- jamie

series masterlist

You had to give to the the Statesmen - the apartment they had leased you was fucking nice. 

It struck the balance between modern and homely, complete with a bath tub big enough for the whole damn agency and a bed to match. You knew that they had money, but not this much. The Kingsmen were wealthy but the Statesman put them to shame. It was a lifestyle you were happy to get used to, especially on the first morning. You’d woken up not long after 6AM - your body was still working on British time, after all - when it was still dark outside. The navy blue of the sky was pouring through the large windows, and paired with the remaining city lights, it lit up the bedroom in a cerulean glow. 

Blinking under the distant blue smoulder, you rubbed your eyes and sat up in bed. The bedroom itself was about the same size as your apartment back home and man, it was something you could have easily gotten used to. A bathtub the size of a swimming pool? Don’t mind if I do. A bed big enough to roll to your heart's content and not fall out? Fuck yeah. It made you wonder how rich some of your new colleagues were. You had noticed that Tequila drove an unusually expensive sports car. 

You frowned when you noticed that there was something heavy sprawled across your feet. It wasn’t necessarily in the bed, but rather strewn across the duvet. You rolled your eyes, letting out a sigh. 

‘Fuck’s sake, Eggsy!’ you raised your leg, kicking him front under the covers. ‘Why the bloody hell are you in here?’

Your friend suddenly jumped awake, almost falling off the mattress as you kicked him again. ‘Ow! Ribs!’

‘Well?’

‘Well what?’

‘You haven’t tried to share a bed with me since we were ten!’ You tossed a pillow at him. ‘So I’ll ask again - why the bloody hell are you in here?’

‘I couldn’t sleep.’ He grumbled. 

Your frown softened, and you let out a sigh. ‘Have you been having nightmares about Galahad again? Because Merlin said he was making strides towards getting better-’

‘- That day from the church is still ingrained in my head.’ Eggsy cut you off, tucking his knees into his chest and under his chin. ‘It keeps playing over and over.’

It was something you sympathised with. Working as a Kingsman brought good days and bad days, but the latter would stick in your mind a thousand times more. You’d learnt to live with it by that point but then again, you were easier at separating your emotions from your professional life. You had a good rapport with your colleagues - minus the doofus at the foot of your bed, who might as well have been an annoying brother - but you tried not to become attached. It only made it harder when you lost them, 

‘Time, Eggsy.’ You leant over the bed to give his arm a squeeze. ‘You need time.’

‘It’s been almost a year-’

‘- recovery isn’t a race.’ You firmly interrupted. ‘And healing isn’t linear, for you or for Gala - for Harry.’ 

You’d become so accustomed to codenames that they felt personal. Harry was Galahad, and Amish was Merlin. You’d never called Roxy anything other than Lancelot. It just didn’t feel right. 

‘I hate when you make sense-’

Eggy’s rumbling was cut off by the sound of the front door and the fall of footsteps. You immediately leapt out of bed, tearing your gun from the bedside table. Pointing it out in front of you, you slowly kicked open the door and crept out in the hallway, weapon leading the way. 

‘Morning sunshine-’ Whiskey stopped in his tracks when he saw the pistol aimed in his direction. ‘Well that ain’t a very warm welcome is it, Percy?’

‘Percy?’ The words rolled off of your tongue with a tone of disbelief. Admittedly, the new nickname shouldn’t have been your first concern when you were a) wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas and b) pointing a gun at your new colleague, but priorities didn’t apply in this situation.

‘Short for Percival!’ Eggsy called from the bedroom.

‘Oh, I do apologise.’ He held his hands up in surrender. ‘Was I interrupting something-’

‘- Gross!’ You exclaimed. ‘No!’

‘Hey!’ Another call from the bedroom. ‘You would be lucky-’

You cut your friend off by slamming the bedroom door. ‘What do you want, Whiskey? It’s six in the fucking morning.’

‘And yet you’re up and pointing a gun at my head.’ The cowboy reasoned, complete with a small shrug. ‘Want to put the weapon down, pretty lady?’

Growling at the use of another nickname, you threw the gun onto one of the side-tables. That was when you realised you’d sprinted out the bedroom in cartoon pajamas, only to come face-to-face with Whiskey, who was in his usual leather jacket and hat. Frankly, you should have slapped it right off his head. That would have taught him to come bursting into your apartment at the crack of dawn. 

‘Maybe knock next time?’ You suggested, stalking through to the kitchen. ‘Especially considering that it’s not even light outside. A little bit predatorial, don’t you think?’

‘If you’d checked the schedule I emailed you, you would know that we have to be in the field in forty-five minutes.’ Jack shot back, leaning against the counter. ‘You should check your phone more often. I thought that most of your generation had their cell-phones glued to their hands.’

‘Okay, grandad.’ You snorted. His dark eyes followed you as you darted around the kitchen, piling together a cup of coffee on autopilot. ‘What’re we doing in the field?’

‘Recon.’ He said. ‘One of Calahan’s contacts has been spotted working a jewellery stand down at 30 Rock.’

‘Okay, give me thirty minutes.’ You tossed a piece of bread into the toaster.

‘Dress...touristy.’ 

--

‘That is not touristy.’

Usually, Jack Daniels would have been the last person to object to a woman wearing a dress and heels, but you were supposed to be blending in with crowds, not standing out. He clearly hadn’t got the memo that you didn’t do casual - not in a professional sense, at least. In some way, you were matching, because you too were wearing a leather jacket. It was a staple in your wardrobe. 

‘Would you rather I have stayed in the turtle pajamas?’ You glanced across the table at him, thinning your eyes. 

‘Tourists don’t wear Christian Louboutins.’ The cowboy muttered. 

‘I wear Christian Louboutins.’ You shot back. ‘But points for recognizing the brand.’ 

‘Here.’ Jack swiped a t-shirt off of a cart as they passed by, thrusting a fifty in the vendor’s hand. ‘Wear this.’ 

He shoved a t-shirt into your hand; it was about ten sizes too big for you with ‘I ❤️  NY’ blazoned across the front. For a minute, you thought he was kidding, but Jack’s serious expression barely faltered. You tried to counter the look, quirking your brow as if to say yeah, good one. 

‘I’m serious, Agent. We can’t blow our cover.’ 

‘What cover?’ You frowned. ‘You never said anything about a cover.’ 

‘Our guy works for a jewelry vendor.’ Jack flashed a grin at you, before pulling a pair of glasses out of his pocket. ‘We need to get inside and get footage of the shop for the agents coming in tonight. These babies will live stream it right back to Ginger HQ.’

‘So I have to go jewelry shopping?’ 

‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘We are going ring shopping, Mrs Daniels.’ 

‘You’re not serious.’ Your eyebrows shot up. 

‘I think we would make a very attractive couple.’ He retorted. ‘A bright-eyed Brit falling in love with a cowboy, their feelings for each other spanning the Pacific-’

‘- Atlantic-’

‘- ocean.’ 

‘Whatever.’ You pulled off your jacket, yanking the t-shirt from his hands and tugging it over your head. The shirt ended up being longer than your dress, and with your tights and heels it worked in a way that it definitely shouldn’t have. ‘Let’s just get this over and done with. I’m tired.’

‘Incidentally, that’s something you would also say if you were my wife.’

You responded again with a groan, elongating it slightly when Jack wound an arm around your waist, as though somebody had just yelled action! 

How hard could it be? You’d been undercover as part of a couple before - admittedly, that had been with people you’d already had a rapport with, and ones who didn’t drive you up the wall as much as Whiskey. Eggsy was a close call, but having been your best friend for the better part of twenty years, it was easy to convince people you were a real couple. It had been a little awkward with Merlin and you had almost flat out refused to do it with Galahad, but there hadn’t been so much at risk then. If this recon went well, it could lead to leaps and strides in your bigger mission. Finding Calahan, proving yourself worthy of a promotion and eventual world domination (in a hero kinda way). 

‘Let’s go over the fine details.’ You murmured to him, glancing around as you entered the shopping strip inside 30 Rock. ‘Where did we meet?’

‘London. I was on a business trip.’ Whiskey quickly replied. ‘How did I propose?’

‘In front of the Eiffel Tower.’ You said. ‘And where do we live now?’

‘Kentucky, but we’re in New York because we plan on getting married here.’ He said. ‘You ready?’

‘Let’s go.’ You linked your arms with his, plastering on a fake grin as you entered the jewelry store.  ‘My glasses are recording this straight back to HQ.’

‘Hey there, cowboy!’ Calahan’s contact greeted you immediately. He wasn’t what you’d expected - the man was decked out in a suit and tie, complete with a dodgy looking spray tan and teeth so white they could probably reflect the fucking sun. ‘And pretty lady.’

It had been bad enough when Whiskey called you that. But this guy? Gross - and Jack couldn’t help but notice how you tensed up at the nickname. 

‘Watch it, pal.’ Jack joked. ‘That’s my fiancee you’re talking to.’

‘And I assume that’s what brings you in today?’ He flashed a grin at you. ‘I couldn’t help but notice she doesn’t have a ring.’

‘See if you can move closer to the case by the fire exit.’ Ginger’s voice came over your earpiece. 

‘These ones here look pretty!’ You suddenly exclaimed, grabbing Jack by the arm and yanking him in the direction that Ginger had requested. The cowboy let out a surprised yelp as you did, stumbling slightly as you dragged him across the store. 

‘Perfect. Thank you.’ She quietly said over the line. 

‘Any in particular catch your eye, Miss…’

‘It will be Mrs Jones when we get married.’ You plastered on the biggest shit-eating grin that you could muster. ‘And that one in the top corner is very pretty.’

‘That’s one of our most expensive rings.’ The jeweler’s grin was bigger than yours. ‘Is your event going to be as big? You know...price wise?’

‘Oh yeah!’ You chimed in, barely giving Jack a chance to think. ‘We’re renting out the Plaza Hotel. I’m wearing a vintage Emanuel dress inspired by the Princess of Wales and our honeymoon is three weeks in the Bahamas.’

You just had to ramble for a little bit longer whilst Jack looked around to get the footage. Luckily, it was something you were good at. You could talk somebody’s ear off if you had to and bullshit to the next degree; it had saved your ass on missions more times than you’d care to admit. If you ever retired from the Kingsman, you probably had a promising career as an actress. 

‘All this before you’ve chosen a ring?’ He raised his eyebrows at you. You’d been quick on your feet - so much so that you’d tripped and fallen. 

‘My baby’s been planning this thing since was a little girl.’ Whiskey quickly stepped in. ‘And it’s my job to make sure she gets it.’

‘He’s a lawyer.’ You went up on your tiptoes, pressing a kiss to Jack’s cheek. ‘I’m marrying good.’

‘Oh!’ The jeweler glanced between the two of you. ‘This makes more sense now.’

‘Right, we’ve got enough footage.’ Merlin said. ‘You two can get the bloody hell out of there before I puke.’

After making an appointment to return the following day - which neither of you planned on going to, obviously - Jack took your hand and led you out the store. To keep up appearances, you kept your fingers intertwined as you walked back through the shopping mall. The fact you had managed to play a believable couple on such short notice was almost astounding. 

‘Oh my god.’ You murmured, glancing over your shoulder as you exited the mall and turned the corner. You pulled your hand back from Jack’s, stifling a laugh. ‘I can’t believe we actually managed to do it.’

‘Why are you so shocked?’ Whiskey peered down at you, a grin playing on his lips. ‘Like I said - we would make a very attractive couple, sugar.’

‘In your dreams, Daniels.’ You shot back. ‘But if I ever do end up in a relationship like that? Shoot me. I beg you.’

You kept strolling together, slowly heading for the Statesman headquarters - but neither of you were in a rush. Whatever the hell that was had just broken the initial tension between you, and you were actually enjoying one another’s company for the moment. 

‘What’s wrong with it?’ He asked. ‘Ain’t nothing bad about a man looking after his woman.’

‘That’s so outdated.’ You groaned. 

‘It’s not!’ Jack protested. ‘A man looks after his girl and his girl looks after him. Or a husband and husband, or wife and wife-’

‘- how progressive of you.’ You cut him off, rolling your eyes. ‘I don’t rely on anyone. Ever. I look after myself.’

It was probably a cultural difference. Jack had grown up in the south, in a household where his dad worked and his mum looked after the house. It had been the same with his late wife; had things not gone the way they had, he’d probably be the breadwinner whilst she stayed home with the kids. You, meanwhile, had grown up in a working class area of London where a majority of the households were headed by women - and most of the time, single women. If there was some unheard of future where you got married and had kids, like hell would you give up your career. Your job was your baby. 

‘We all need people to look after us sometimes.’ Jack nudged you with his elbow.

You shook your head. ‘Not me.’

‘Well you sound like a real heart-breaker, Miss Independent.’ 

‘It’s my speciality.’ 

--

Once you’d handed over the footage from your glasses to Ginger, you and Whiskey headed to the office. There was a comfortable silence between you - pretending to be a married couple had been one hell of an ice breaker. At least it was proof that you and Jack could work well together. You’d stayed on the same page for the entirety of your little improv love story, and it meant your first mission, however minor, had been a success. If working with him was going to like that for the rest of your time in New York, you might have been able to tolerate him and his ridiculous Southern drawl. 

(Not to mention the nicknames. It left you wondering if Jack had forgotten your actual name and was too afraid to ask.) 

Eggsy was waiting for you in the lobby outside the lift. He was leant against the wall, feet crossed in front of him as he tapped away on his phone. A frown came over your face when you realised that he had a bag beside him. He was scheduled to stay in the city with you until at least the following weekend. You had plans for a few days time to try and use your contacts to sneak into a filming of Saturday Night Live. 

‘Hey!’ Your best friend brightly greeted you. ‘Guess what? Tilde called!’

‘That’s great!’ You forced a smile. ‘So you’re heading back to London tonight?’

‘Yeah.’ His grin didn’t falter. ‘I figured since you two played a married couple successfully, you didn’t need me to stick around to babysit you and make sure you didn’t eat him alive.’

‘It’s still early days.’ You reasoned. ‘Are you sure you don’t wanna stay a couple more days? Adam Driver’s the guest on SNL this weekend.’

‘I gotta get back and fix things, man.’ Eggsy said. ‘I just wanted to say goodbye before I left.’

‘Right, of course.’ You held your arms out to him. 

He stepped forward and wrapped his own around you, lifting you off the ground and giving you a tight squeeze. If you had to choose one of your favourite things about Eggsy, it would have to be his hugs. The only reason you’d stopped calling him Hugsy was because he’d threatened to take them away entirely. They were far and few, usually when you were going to spend time apart, but you always appreciated them. 

‘I’ll see you in a few weeks, tops.’ He said, placing you back on the ground. ‘And I promise we’ll get into SNL then.’

‘You better.’ You poked his chest. ‘I’ll miss you, Egghead.’

‘I’ll miss you more.’

You let out a tiny sigh as Eggsy picked up his bags and headed for the lift. You weren’t mad at him for going home early - just disappointed. And not at him, just at the situation, It had been a long time since you’d got to properly spend time together outside of work. Above all, however, you knew you had to respect his relationship. What kind of friend would you be to stand in the way of him and love? 

Once he was out of sight, you regathered yourself and headed to the office. Jack was already inside, his feet propped up on the desk and a glass of his namesake whiskey in hand. It was the first time he’d taken off his hat in front of you, and his hair was a little ruffled from it. 

‘Don’t need anyone my ass’ was the greeting he offered you. 

‘What?’ You furrowed your brow. 

Jack pushed his feet back to the floor, handing you your own glass of...well, Jack.  ‘I saw the way you looked at your boy, Percy.’

‘I told you before!’ You snatched the glass from his hand, dropping into your chair. ‘Eggsy is not my boyfriend.’

‘Doesn’t have to be’.’ He shrugged. ‘You looked like you were losing your brother. Tweedle Dum ain’t nothing without Tweedle Dee.’ 

Eggsy was your brother, by all intents and purposes. Heck, he might as well have been your twin. Your fathers had been best friends when they were in Kingsman, and you and him were reflections of that. You’d gone through every high and low of your teenage years together, and eventually adulthood. As previously established, he often came to you and he often needed you, but you hated to consider how it might have gone the other way. He was the only exception to your needing no one rule. And, considering that not even your own mother had made the cut, it was actually quite complimentary. 

‘I don’t need Eggsy.’ You insisted. 

‘How long have you known each other?’ Jack ignored your statement, instead posing a question. ‘Since school?’

‘No. He’s six months older than me, so...my whole life.’

‘I rest my case.’

‘You know nothing, Whiskey!’ You exclaimed. ‘You can’t make massive assumptions about me when you’ve known me for two days.’

‘I’ve met a woman like you before.’ He replied. He pondered for a moment, and his eyes were almost...vacant. ‘She pretended she didn’t need a damn person either, but she did.’

‘And who was that?’ You thinned your eyes at me. ‘Because I can’t think of a single person who I need.’ 

‘She needed me.’ He casually shrugged. ‘And I needed her.’

‘Right. Naturally.’ You murmured. ‘It’s too early for this, Whiskey.’

‘Got too deep for you, Tea?’

‘The hell did you just call me?’

‘Tea.’ He offered you a shit eat grin. ‘Get it? Because you’re British-’

‘- this face isn’t because I didn’t get it.’ You cut him off. ‘And on that note, I am done here. I shall be working from home this evening and possibly for the rest of eternity.’ 

Swiping your glass up, you poured the entirety of its contents down your throat in one swig, before slamming it back on the table. The whiskey burnt for a split second, but it felt good - and you didn’t need to be skidding down that slippery slope at two in the afternoon. Gathering up your bag, you swung it over your shoulder and stood up. 

‘Oh, c’mon!’ Jack protested. ‘We were just starting to get along, sugar!’

‘We were!’ You shot back, pausing when you were half-way out the door. ‘Then you started therapising me.’

He grinned at you. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Maybe.’

‘You’re contractually obliged!’

‘Fuuuck off!’ 

[ignoramace]

Because my brain is normal, I am of course writing a Fake Marriage AU for Paul Reynolds and Arlo Dixon (two characters who don't have a single line in the show) in which Paul (whose wiki page states that he’s Irish) didn’t realize that he had to apply for Settlement after Brexit and is now at risk of being deported before the season starts.

(The rest of this post is pure brainworms that I'm putting here for my own future reference, fair warning)

Here's the set-up:

They already have a rapport, as seen from Paul’s wiki page:

Arlo's wiki page is also delightfully strange and I think their dynamic is primed for some romantic shenanigans:

Arlo is a bit of a wild card and casually mentioned to Paul one day that his landlord sucks and the smoke detectors in his flat don’t work. Paul tells him to find a new place, but Arlo is flippant about it which just pisses Paul off to no end, so Paul tells him — in no uncertain terms — that Arlo will come live in his guest bedroom until he finds a better place. This ends up being much longer than the two of them first believed, but Paul doesn’t mind it for some reason.

They find out that they both like men when Paul opens Grindr in the comfort of his own home and sees a profile for “Alan” 20 feet away from him. The profile photo doesn’t have a face, but that’s his furniture in the background and also he’s seen Arlo naked in the locker room a hundred times, he obviously recognizes his shirtless pics. They both walk out of their bedrooms and do the Spider-Man pointing meme, but don’t do anything sexy because “We’re teammates, that would be weird.” (Paul thinks about it extensively though, against his will)

They’ve come to a mutual understanding about it, until Paul comes home one morning after a hook-up to find a stranger in his kitchen (from Arlo’s own hook-up) and is like “hmmm, don’t like that.” And they both decide that it’s actually easier to hook up with each other, right? It obviously doesn’t mean anything, it’s just more convenient. Less risk for being recognized. Just two dudes being dudes and living together and having sex. Normal.

A couple weeks before the new season starts, Rebecca calls Paul into her office during pre-season training where Higgins informs him that he’s just received word from Immigration Enforcement that Paul hadn’t applied for Settlement status after Brexit had gone into effect, and that the deadline has passed. Higgins and Rebecca have already looked into it, and Higgins say that “Short of marriage, there aren’t many options.” They still assure him that they will do everything they can, but the tones of their voices clearly reveal that they don’t have much hope.

Distraught, Paul goes home and mopes. He loves Ireland, but he has his reasons for having stayed in Richmond for almost a decade that have to do with him avoiding his family. He’s become attached to his team and is angry at the idea that he might have to leave them.

Arlo clearly notices his bad mood and is able to weasel the truth out of him. Flippantly, like he always is, he suggests that they get married so that Paul can claim citizenship and won’t have to leave the team.

Paul thinks it’s a stupid idea and resists, but Arlo is able to convince him that it’s a great plan (really). He really doesn’t want to leave Richmond (he’s been on the team for seven years, he’s invested!) and eventually agrees with the caveat that it remain a secret from the public, of course. Wouldn’t want to ruin both their careers over something so trivial, right?

They don’t know who to ask to be witnesses, but eventually decide on one of the physios, Rachel (who’s a lesbian) and then also have to include Will because he was in the room when they asked her and no one saw him until he squeaked and alerted them of his presence.

After they apply for the marriage license, they have to tell the team because Paul and Arlo know that they'll probably be investigated for marriage fraud and they want everyone to be on the same page. The two of them think that they'll have to do some major convincing, but are shocked when the general consensus is "We were wondering what you guys were up to, actually" and "I knew it!"

Higgins and Rebecca suspect what their plan really is, but Higgins acknowledges that it's best that he doesn't know details because of his "gagging when lying" condition.

The marriage application obviously gets reviewed and the two have to "pretend" that they're actually in love when the immigration employees come to investigate their flat, and they're doing a not-so-great job at convincing them of their love.

There's a point in the investigation when Arlo disappears into the kitchen to make them all tea (because he's nervous) and they all hear a glass breaking. Paul rushes in to find Arlo dabbing at his bleeding finger with a paper towel and scolds him for being such a klutz. He continues to berate him while he gets the first aid kit and runs Arlo's hand under the tap and gently bandages it for him and tells him to be more careful, you buffoon, stop hurting yourself — and then remembers that the investigators are still in his flat and looks up to see them smiling at the two of them.

They pass with flying colors.

Cue the rest of the plot.

[chrysalispen]

iii. vanished, and left but memories,

AO3 Link HERE

Chapter below cut.

============================

Papalymo Totolymo considered himself reasonably worldly for a man of Sharlayan. As the favored protege of the late Louisoix Leveilleur, many of the star’s most tumultuous events in the last twenty summers had taken place beneath his watch: from the mass colonial exodus to the motherland, to those final dark days before the Seventh Umbral Calamity. He still remembered offering prayers at one of the great standing-stones as the Empire unleashed Bahamut - that ancient and terrible primal bound by Allagan contrivance - upon the fields of Carteneau.

So too did he recall his master’s sacrifice. Papalymo was not what one would call particularly devout, nor had he placed as much stock in such things as coincidence or fate. But the events he had witnessed had gradually softened his harder stances, and the more he saw of the world, the more he thought he understood what Louisoix had meant.

Faith had, after all, saved Eorzea in the end.

He watched that slim, straight back as its owner sidled into shadow and disappeared from sight. At first glance, the woman hadn’t seemed any different from any other conjurer they had met in the past handful of years. But this time he thought there was something about her that was... different. The aetherovisor had-

“Papalymo? Are you listening?”

“...Hm? Yes,” he said with an absentminded nod. His hazel eyes lay fixed upon the emptied cavern entrance. “Well. That was… most edifying.”

“Edifying?”

“Educational.”

“What was educational about it? The sword? The Ixal?” Yda tilted her head in obvious confusion. It was quite clear that the two of them had taken something entirely different away from that encounter. “I thought you knew about those already. Or did you mean that conjurer?”

Preoccupied with checking and comparing indicator readings, Papalymo barely even acknowledged her. “Yes.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yes, I did.”

Yda’s chin tilted in the same birdlike fashion Aurelia had noted upon their meeting, and her lips pursed briefly as she tapped her index finger against her cheek. “Actually, now that you mention it… I just thought of something.”

“Hm.”

"Is it just me, or did it seem like that woman was able to see Kuplo Kopp?”

“....And this occurs to you now? Honestly, of all the questions to ask!” "What- well, you did ask me, Papalymo."

She pointed this fact out with the cheerful self-possession that rarely failed to annoy him, specifically when she employed it against him. Yda knew he hated it, so of course she did it at every opportunity.

Silver-threaded blond curls drifted across the edges of the aetherovisor with the movement of his head from side to side, as the Archon cut off his lecture before he could properly begin. From his long years of experience with her, he knew there was a greater than zero chance it would all fall upon deaf ears anyway.  “...all right, yes, that did appear to be the case- and don't you give me that look."

"What look?"

"That smug one you always get when you-"

"When I'm right? Hmm?"

"Oh, for the love of everything, Yda!"

"Go on. 'You're right, Yda.' Say it."

"Yda-"

"Saaaay it," she repeated, in a teasing little singsong. Papalymo scowled at his young partner before he realized she couldn't see his expression beneath the unwieldy visor, only the petulant purse of his lips. Pointless to fight the tide, he thought with a sort of exasperated fondness.

...He supposed he could allow her one small concession.

"Yes, yes, all right. Fine. You were right," he said testily, ignoring her tiny cheer and accompanying fist pump. "But don't get ahead of yourself. As to what significance that might bear, provided there is any, only time will tell.”

“Will it? I certainly hope so,” she retorted, bracing her hands on her hips. “It’s not as though you ever tell me anything.”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean? I just said it! You never tell me what’s going on!” Yda’s pout lifted into a sly smile. “...Unless you don’t know either?”

“Of course I do! Don’t be ridiculous-”

“Ha! I knew it.”

“-and even if I didn’t,”  he huffed, “I certainly wouldn’t admit it to an insolent child!”

Yda did not take offense. Her laugh, tinkling like wind chimes, followed the pair out of the clearing.

~*~

After bearing the blade and news of a corpse to a surprised but very grateful Galfrid Mossback and his fellows, Aurelia entered the Fane to see E-Sumi-Yan conversing with one Kuplo Kopp. The moogle lifted a paw as she strode towards them.

“Ah! Aurelia," the guildmaster said. "Welcome back. I trust your return was without incident.”

“Yes, it was fine. The walk was most refreshing.” She hesitated; her gaze flickered from E-Sumi-Yan to his current conversation partner, hovering midair with open curiosity stamped all over his tiny face. “Although… I have something to ask, if I might?”

“Of course. Thank you for your assistance, Kuplo Kopp. Pray give my regards to the others.”

“I will, kupo! Wonderful to meet you at last, Aurelia!” he piped, adding a chipper backflip for good measure. “Don’t worry, I’ll say hello to Kupto Kapp and Kapna Kugi for you!”

The little creature had taken wing into the trees before she could respond, although E-Sumi-Yan’s expression was one of mild-mannered curiosity as they watched Kuplo Kopp disappear into the tree line.

“You had not told me you were acquainted with the moogles.”

“A bit of an exaggeration,” Aurelia hedged. “I met a couple of them by chance when I first came to the wood. They were quite helpful, as I recall.”

He squinted at her. Opened his mouth- then shut it, as if he had been about to say something and thought better of it, and cleared his throat.

“We have a good rapport with the moogles,” was all he said. “What was it you wished to ask?”

“When I was in the glade earlier, there were two others who arrived shortly thereafter. A Hyur woman - a pugilist - and a Lalafell gentleman. I asked after their business in the Shroud, but they were quite evasive.” Thoughtfully she tapped her temple. “They each sported some peculiar contraption. I thought at first perhaps they were customized sets of spectacles. Mayhap a magitek visor of some sort, but if so it was surely not of imperial make.”

E-Sumi-Yan was smiling.

“Ah,” he said. “You’ve met Yda and Papalymo.”

“Adventurers?”

“Scholars. Aetherologists from Sharlayan, if memory serves. But you may safely lay any suspicions you have to rest - they are friends. Their assistance over the last few years, particularly with regards to the Garlean Empire, has proven invaluable.”

Aurelia only nodded. The pair had been strange, and their exchanges clearly born of long years of personal intimacy, but neither had come across as threatening.

“Now- as to the matter we discussed before you took your leave…” He muttered something under his breath too softly for her to catch and began to pat down his robes. “Ah! Here we are.”

The neatly folded and wax-sealed parchment in his hand bore the mark of the Conjurers’ Guild and, she could see, the Padjal’s own painstakingly neat script. E-Sumi-Yan glanced at it for only the briefest of moments before he held it out for her to take.

“I took the liberty of discussing the matter with Miounne while you were running that errand for me. She has already agreed to send word ahead to the Adventurers’ Guild in Ul’dah, I expect.” A stray breeze ruffled his sandy hair as he inclined his chin, smile unwavering. “She should have another letter of her own ready for you when you return to the inn.”

“I- oh,” for a second time in the space of a day Aurelia found herself taken aback. “This… goodness, you work very quickly.”

“Oh?”

“I confess I had thought a letter of introduction might take some days to draft, not bells.”

“Not at all! I had the time to spare, and at any rate I have written many such letters in my time. They are quite formulaic.”

“I appreciate the trouble you’ve taken-”

“Lest you misunderstand, Aurelia, this is no more than I might otherwise have done for any of my novices,” there was no visible change to his expression but his tone was so firm it might almost have been a reprimand. “This letter does not guarantee your enrollment into the Phrontistery. ‘Tis but a window of opportunity, and little else.”

In other words, he could get her into Ul’dah and secure her lodging. Anything beyond that would have to be accomplished by her hand and hers alone - she was not surprised; she had a rough idea of Uldah’s love of self-made success stories.

But Aurelia was not unaccustomed to such uphill battles; if she could make her own way in Gridania despite her ignorance of its customs when she had first arrived in the Shroud, she was quite sure she could manage matters in Ul’dah. A chance was all she required, and here it lay, in her hand.

“Well enough to my thinking that you have provided it,” she said. “You have my thanks.”

His serene smile turned somewhat doleful. “I would be remiss not to admit that your absence will be felt. But I will not be one to clip your wings, either. Now go. Give Mother Miounne my regards.”

“I will.”

Perhaps you will return to the wood as a guardian once more, E-Sumi-Yan mused as she passed from the boughs of the Fane. Most heed its call, in the end. But I will only accept it from you if that is what is meant to be.

Even for foolish notions of sentimentality, he knew it was not his place to tangle the Spinner’s weave.

~*~

“I am beginning to wonder,” Alisaie Leveilleur declared to no one in particular, “if there are any other cycles of weather in this place beyond ‘rain’ and ‘purple.’ “

No one answered. Not that she had expected otherwise.

The young elezen spared a sullen glance at the dodo tenderloin on her plate - rubbery with gristle, lukewarm, and unappetizing - before resuming her people-watching out the nearby window, or what there was of it. Only one of the panes had tempered glass in; the other three were covered with some sort of oilcloth, no doubt to proof the opening against the region’s frequent afternoon showers.

There wasn’t much to see, truth be told. Revenant’s Toll had been washed away in the floods following the Carteneau disaster five years past. Although the adventurers who ran the town were rebuilding, the new town - if one could properly call it that - was essentially a glorified leve outpost. Albeit, she allowed, it was a leve outpost with a bar, a boarding house, and some tents attached, but at this moment in time still little more than a burgeoning bump in the road. The camp's new location sat well up the ascent onto the escarpment this time, some five malms north of the old camp.

Alphinaud had observed that the new location was far more strategically advantageous, and had been more than happy to explain his theory at length without any prompting. Alisaie had scant interest in such matters, and had tuned her brother’s lecture out in favor of exploration after only a few scant minutes.

Mor Dhona had been a very pretty place once, so they had been told, lush and green. But most of the old rainforests had been destroyed, first by the great battle between the Garlean Empire and the Dravanian horde, then by Dalamud’s descent. She was grateful that for a small blessing, the window seat she had chosen did not afford her an unhampered view of the Carteneau Flats. At its epicenter grew the massive crystalline half-sphere that had settled into the face of the land like a pockmark with its shattered Allagan structures poking haphazardly out from unstable, poisonous facets. That was where Grandfather had-- where he had--

Her gaze returned to her emptied teacup.

“Are you not hungry?”

Alphinaud stood at the edge of the table with a refilled trencher and a fresh pot. She shook her head.

“Just the tea, thank you.” Alisaie all but snatched the pot away before he had even finished setting it down, grateful for the momentary distraction. “I’ll pour it myself.”

“You really can see the Keeper from here.”

“What?”

“The Keeper of the Lake. So-called.” Her brother peered out the window as he seated himself at a positively glacial pace, deep blue eyes scanning their surrounds. "See? Over there, wrapped around the HRS Agrius. ...what’s left of it, at any rate.”

Following his gaze as she poured her tea, Alisaie could just see the outline of the gruesome landmark that sat in the center of Silvertear Lake. The protruding wreckage of the doomed imperial dreadnought shimmered dully in shades of black steel and flaking vermilion paint, only barely visible in the gloaming. Without the imposing structure, the decomposing remains of the great wyrm Midgardsormr wound tightly about its sheared and exposed hull: the final embrace of a murderous lover. Over it all loomed the blue-white silhouette of a very tall crystal spire, glowing with a strange ambient light. It put her in mind of a lighthouse watchtower in a fog bank.

“So,” Alphinaud had turned back to his trencher, “have you made ready, sister? We depart on the morrow.”

“Not yet." As ever, the long and careful sip she took from the cup helped her to gather her thoughts. She set it down with a quiet porcelain rattle before she continued: "I want to go down to the Flats once more before we leave."

“Why?"

“To see if anything was left behind.”

"No." His refusal was adamant. "We’re pressed for time as it is. Even if we weren't, anything of value will have been removed years ago.”

Nerves frayed by fatigue and frustration, catching the annoyed lilt in his voice, she felt herself bristling.

“Have you even tried to look?”

“Alisaie-”

“All I ask is another day to make inquiries. One day.”

“And I am telling you we don’t have one day. The itinerary-”

“Oh, sod the bleeding itinerary!” she burst out. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you simply didn’t care to assist me at all!”

Alphinaud’s fist, still holding his fork, slammed against the table with enough emphasis to rattle her teacup saucer and splash a few droplets of its contents onto the table. She expected some sort of surprised rejoinder, or - far more likely - yet another calm (and rather condescending) explanation as to why it would be impossible to continue her search without more resources. Implying yet again, as tended to be his wont, that her requests to seek more information as to their grandfather’s whereabouts were merely part and parcel of a childish whim.

Instead, the flash of light in his eyes was that of wounded anger: one of Alphinaud’s rare displays of ill temper- or, perhaps, the grief he so rarely allowed himself to display in public. His lips were drawn into a thin, taut line and his eyes, the same deep blue as her own, appeared for a moment to be suspiciously bright. “That was unkind of you,” he accused. “You are not the only one of us who misses Grandfather, you know. Nor wishes for his safe return, if there is a return to be had." "I'm aware."

"And you know he would not have wanted us to neglect tasks of monumental importance solely for his sake. That was never his way.”

"I just… Alphinaud, we promised each other," the strident pitch of it was close enough to a plea to make her cringe, but there was little help for it, "If there’s even the slightest chance he might still be alive-”

“The chance is slim to none. You know that.” He would not meet her gaze. “And even so, we cannot linger. Grandfather’s successor will be awaiting our arrival and she is certain to have more accurate information on his whereabouts than nearly anyone you would meet here.”

“But... oh, all right. I suppose you make a valid point,” she said. You’re right, as per bloody usual. One hand curled into a fist atop the roughened wooden surface; the admission stuck squarely in her craw, but Alisaie knew full well there would be no peace between them did she allow the rule of her pride to stay her tongue. “...And that was unkind. Forgive me.”

Alphinaud said nothing for a long moment. Worry had just started to nag at the corners of her conscience when his slim, unblemished fingers reached for her hand. She relaxed her fist and allowed him to lace his fingers with hers, then in her turn covered her brother’s hand with her other palm. It was a gesture meant to placate as much as to comfort, but she supposed that particular river flowed both ways.

“We’ll come back,” Alphinaud said at length. His sigh, a long-suffering thing, seemed to close the space between them. “All right? We’ll come back. I just think we should see to his outstanding obligations first and foremost. Once that's done, you can take as much time to investigate as you like.”

Somewhat suspicious of the gesture, she peered at him from beneath her snowy veil of fringe. “Do you mean it?”

“At the first opportunity," he added. "I swear it.”

Alisaie squinted at him for a careful moment before she withdrew her hand. She drummed her fingertips upon the table for a moment, then picked up the fork that lay alongside her long-abandoned trencher. He blinked when she jabbed its business end in his direction, a movement that might have been amusing were it not also vaguely threatening.

“...I’m going to hold you to that."

“Of course you will," he groused. "You always do.”

His surly retort prompted Alisaie to finally flash a strained grin. It was the first smile she had spared for him since the pair had stood together on the deck of their ship and watched the city shrink to a bare glimmer on the horizon, swallowed by the endless dark of the open sea. Then, their purpose had been united. The weeks spent at sea and on land had eroded it, but Alisaie at least had not lost sight of her purpose.

And I will hold you to your word this time as well, little brother.

She lifted her teacup in a mock toast and watched as he followed suit.

“Well. To the road on the morrow, then,” she said. “And Gridania.”

“And Gridania.”

The meeting of the twins' cups chimed with their sealed bargain. Without the town of Revenant's Toll, the pall of dusk continued its descent.

[jeannereames]

Do we know/ think that any of Philip's wives were friends with eachother? I understand that they would have been competing with eachother to secure their sons' positions, but it seems odd to live with four or five other women and not have some sort of rapport with any of them

It’s unclear—in large part because the ancient sources simply aren’t concerned with them. In fact, we only know the names of all seven because of a chance list made by Athenaeus [13.557b–e], quoting Satyrus, as two were childless, or at least, their children didn’t survive to adulthood so they’re never mentioned in the main sources.

Probably the best way to guess who might have been friendly, and who at odds, is to consider where each came from originally.

Because Philip married for political reasons, all his wives but the last were not from lower Macedonia, and not all would have spoken Greek, at least not at first. Audata, daughter or more likely granddaughter or grandniece of King Bardylis, was Illyrian. As she was royal, she may have been able to speak some Greek, but likely wasn’t fluent. If she was wife #1 (and I think she was), Philip likely married her when he originally submitted to Bardylis as a client king, after his brother’s death. She was sent to Pella to keep an eye on him. When Philip returned a year later with his army and kicked Illyrian butt, well… she would have ceased to be important, all the more so when she had a daughter, not a son.

Wife #2 was likely Phila, of the royal house of Elimeia, so she was related to Harpalos and that crowd. That’s why Philip married her: to bring in the southern Macedonian highlands and the famous Elimeian cavalry. Elimeia, like Lynkestis, had been independent, their capital of Aiani wealthy, trading with Corinth on the Western side of the Greek mainland. It wasn’t really until Philip’s day that they fell under Macedonian control. It’s possible she had a child, but that child died in infancy or childhood. In Dancing with the Lion, I did give her one (Menelaus who died as a toddler), but that’s fictional based on the likelihood that Philip had more children, but we know only about those who lived. It’s also possible we hear nothing else from Phila because she died in childbirth.

If Phila came to the women’s quarters right after Audata, perhaps when Audata was still her grandfather’s agent, there may have been little love lost between those two. Audata probably lorded it over her, especially if she was also pregnant (and Phila wasn’t). After the Illyrian star fell, it wouldn’t surprise me if Phila returned the favor, especially after Audata’s baby turned out to be a girl. Audata died before Alexander did, probably before he even left for Asia. Her daughter Kynanne later appeared to operate entirely apart from Olympias and Kleopatra (and Thessalonike), and even in opposition to them, to marry her own daughter by Amyntas (Philip’s nephew), Adea Eurydike, to Arrhidaios, and put her on the throne. Given Arrhidaios’s infirmary, no doubt Kynanne knew or assumed her daughter would be the real power.

So those are the first two, although the order isn’t certain. I follow Carney in putting Audata first.

The order of wives 3-5 is also disputed. Olympias is usually called wife #4, bookended by the two Thessalians—Philina and Nikeseipolis—based on Philip’s two campaigns there, and the probable birthdate of Thessalonike, versus Arrhidaios. She’s notably younger. Yet Satyrus’s list puts both women married together as part of Philip’s settlement of Thessaly in 358 after the death of Alexander of Pherae. The story that Philip named Thessalonike for his victory at the Crocus Fields in 353/2 hardly requires him to have married her mother that late. Nor does the fact Arrhidaios was so much older. Nikeseipolis would later die from childbirth complications, so it’s possible she may have had miscarriages before, or a difficult time getting pregnant. We don’t know precisely what killed her, but as her death followed the birth by a couple weeks, it may have been sepsis from an imperfectly delivered placenta.

Ancient sources can’t always be trusted for details, of course, but as each woman was a daughter of powerful families two cities at each other’s throats just then, it makes sense to me if he did marry them at roughly the same time. Because their families were at war, it’s highly unlikely they would have been friendly in the women’s quarters.

That would make Olympias wife #5, so she was probably the youngest. Of the four already present, Phila of Elimeia would have been her most natural ally, if Phila was still alive. Both were highlanders, and Aiani had trade contacts with the Molossai tribe in Dodona/Epiros, as both traded with Corinth. Athens dominated the Aegean sea, but Corinth dominated trade in the Adriatic. When Elimeia was independent, they had diplomatic relations with Epiros.

So of the first five, Audata probably stood alone, although she might have had some protection from Eurydike, who was likely half Illyrian herself. Then Olympias and Phila may have been friendly. Philina and Olympias probably weren’t, given the story about Arrhidaios. Even if Olympias had nothing to do with his condition, Philina may still have believed she did.

There may also have been another reason for bad blood between Olympias and Philina. A late (Roman era) story says that when Philip took Nikeseipolis as a new concubine, supposedly he did so as a result of love magic. Yes, love spells were a thing, and Thessaly was famous for her “witches.” Olympias had the young woman brought to her, and upon seeing and talking to her, she declared there was no witchcraft except the normal sort in her face and figure and comely manner. Interestingly, she doesn’t seem to have been jealous in the story.

There are a boatload of problems with the story, starting with the “concubine” part. (Macedonian royal polygamy confused Greeks, and later Romans.) Also, it would put Nikeseipolis as wife #5, not Olympias. Yet it might contain a hint that Olympias and Nikeseipolis got along. So that might be another reason Philina was no friend of Olympias.

In any case, Nikeseipolis was out of the picture by 353/2, and if she was married in 358, wasn’t there that long. We aren’t told, but it’s certainly possible that Olympias raised Thessalonike. Again, I don’t think Philina would have done so, due to the enmity between her family (Aleuadai) and Nikeseipolis’s, who was likely related to the notorious Jason of Pherae. (And yes, if your eye is sharp, that makes Alexander’s mistress Kampaspe related to Philina!) I find it even less likely that Audata would have raised her. So Phila or Olympias are the best candidates.

I also want to point out that these first 5 women were all married by Philip in his first few years. Again, assuming the earlier date for Nikeseipolis’s wedding. He came to the throne in 360, and Alexander was born in 356. Even if we assume he married Nikeseipolis after Olympias, it would have had to have been by 354. Ergo, there’s not a lot of daylight between weddings.

More than a decade (c. 341) would pass before Philip married again: Princess Meda, daughter of Kothelas, of the Getai, a Thracian tribe. Meda barely gets a mention, is clearly a peace price, and never had any (surviving) children. As the Getai were on the northern and inland side of Thrace, she may not have spoken much Greek. Many royal Thracians were fluent in Greek, but mostly tribes with trading ties to Athens or the Greek cities on the Black Sea coast. We have no idea what happened to her. Some, including Hammond, have argued that’s her buried in the antechamber of Royal Tomb II, based on (some) Scythian customs of wives following their husbands in death. It’s a shaky argument, imo. I don’t want to get into the argument over who is buried in “Philip’s Tomb,” so I’ll just say that, being childless, she likely became a ghost in the women’s quarters. In Dancing with the Lion, I have Myrtale take her under her wing as part of my “Olympias was not a bitch” campaign. 😉

Last, we have Kleopatra Eurydike, and we all know who her enemies were. As for friends? I doubt she had any. The real question is how many of the other six wives were left when she arrived?

Olympias had just fled with Alexander, and Nikeseipolis was dead. We also know Audata died at some point, probably (but not certainly) before Alexander took the throne. If Phila were still alive, as noted, I think she’d have been in Olympias’s camp. Meda is a crap-shoot, but she had little/no power. Philina may well have been ranged against Olympias, so if Kleopatra-E. had any “friend” among the other wives, Philina was most likely. Even so, as she was mother to a son, even if not the heir apparent, which might have made Kleopatra-E. see her as an enemy. Given the importance of her uncle, I doubt Kleopatra-E. believed she needed to make allies in the women’s quarters, which I tried to play on in Rise.

If/when I get around to book 3 in the series, King, you’ll see a lot more dynamics from Kleopatra’s perspective. It wasn’t just Alexander and Hephaistion who had a coming-of-age arc in the first two books. 😊