#and this is also why she's going to get along so well with fearne

[masterqwertster]

Vlogging/Youtube AU for Bells Hells?

Prompt

Okay. I'm not big on this sort of thing. But, I've got a few thoughts.

🎥 Bells Hells Channel AU

Background

By necessity of concept, this is a Modern AU. My preference is modern with Exandrian races, so everyone gets their physical quirks

The members of Bells Hells all live together in a big house (probably banked by Fearne's rich Nana. It's easier to get rich when you live a long, long time)

Not really sure on how they all met yet, but they are friends

Channels

Laudna has a handicrafts, home décor, and refurbishment channel. She's basically HGTV on a small scale with a decidedly macabre slant. Still popular for her upbeat personality and clear instructions

Fearne has a fashion and make-up channel. It's all about feeling sexy in your own skin, and definitely amped by the fact that Fearne seems to be attracted to pretty much anyone

Chetney's is (obviously) a woodworking channel. Mostly time lapses on really impressive projects, with some pro/master level tips and tricks, and a handful of For Beginners videos

FCG has a baking channel. It's popular due to the novelty of baking by someone who can't taste (and the stomach oven)

Orym has a fitness channel. He likes to invite the others to join for diversity in performance of activities since Bells Hells has a great diversity of body types

Dorian has a music channel. Some how to play, some how to compose, and some of his original songs

Ashton and Imogen don't have their own channels, but they make guest appearances on all of the others' channels all the time. Imogen mostly shows as a bit of a model on Laudna's and Fearne's channels. Ashton generally goes on Orym's and FCG's channels as an assistant of sorts

Content/Shenanigans

Speaking of guest appearances, Chetney takes the least guests (in general) on his channel

Dorian's most common guest from inside the house is Fearne

Orym often gets Dorian or Ashton or Chetney to be guests. And if he gets more than one of them at once, they'll do things like this

Laudna wasn't originally big on Deanna, who has a much warmer handicrafts channel. But once they met, they really got along and started doing some crossover stuff

Fearne adores getting Deni$e and Opal to guest on her channel. Deanna too

There's also "cameo" appearances where other members of the house will walk through the background. ...And on occasions pull shit in the background for a laugh

It's not uncommon for someone to walk through the kitchen while FCG's going and swipe an ingredient or a taste

Or to hear a bit of a sing-along happen when Dorian's recording

The worst example of "For the Shits and Giggles" was when Orym was doing an example of barbell curls, and then Ashton and Laudna showed up in the background with Ashton substituting Laudna for the bar. Orym had to do a follow-up video on why people shouldn't use their friends as weights for multiple reasons. Including things like: The "human" barbell is going to be awkwardly balanced. The risk of hurting both parties if dropped or tipped over. The fact that the "human" barbell will be hurt if dropped. As well as the issue that most of the time that's going to be lifting and curling essentially your own weight. Ashton made it look easy because the comparative weight difference between Ashton and Laudna is same as the average 150lb person lifting a 30lb weight. It's the sort of weight that is very doable if you've got some practice under your belt and still fairly possible even if you don't.

[12pt-times-new-roman]

c3e49

5+ hour episode! (I am fear)

Ghostly, technicolor, dreamlike lightning crosses the sky, at the very edge of the horizon, barely visible. They see it in every direction, but not above them. Xandis also sees it, so it's not a remnant of the fey realm in their perception; Chetney also picks up "the faintest bit of a buzz to the air, like the faintest touch of the tongue to a nine-volt battery... an ever-present vibration, the taste of energy."

When Chetney was in the northern part of Wildemount, there was a time period when he saw a similar phenomenon that built up over a number of days, peaked in a brilliant display, then dissipated over a few weeks. So, like, the northern lights, but caused by magic instead of electricity.

Chetney talking about weird tea in the northern section of Wildemount, when we know he's been in the Savalirwood? Is Chetney going to be the closest link these people have to the Mighty Nein because he's met the Clays?

Also, burrowing underneath the thing with a sand worm is a great fucking plan (no sarcasm whatsoever).

When Imogen opens her mind, there is a very faint, light, ever-present static or rumble that exists on the periphery of her consciousness.

....oh. Crashing the airship into the sinkhole to hit the key is also a pretty good plan, since they can set it on a course and then jump off (Imogen can fly, Laudna can feather fall, Fearne can wildshape, Ashton can teleport), and they can rig it with explosives. The caveat being that it would cause a significant number of casualties, likely including Liliana and Ryn if they can't get out first.

FCG brings Fearne and Orym along into Imogen's dream as she focuses on her mother.

"Make a d20 roll and add your spellcraft modifier." Could've been a slip of the tongue, but that's certainly interesting in the context of CR potentially moving away from D&D 5e.

On a 24, Imogen gets pulled extremely quickly into the storm, and she stands in the midst of the familiar clouds. No ground, no field, no farm, just her and her companions.

A shadowed form emerges from the cloud, mostly made of dark immaterial, a spiritual being. The eyes, red and glowing, open. The hair becomes light purple, the shaded semblance of material half-there.

"Imogen?" "Mama." "Where are we?" "We're coming. We're coming, and I need your help." As she realizes who Imogen is and where they are, she becomes more material and tangible. An expression of surprise, concern, and a coldness.

"Imogen, you shouldn't be here." "You keep saying that. Tell me there's still part of you that cares. Tell me there's part of you that knows what you're doing is wrong." "Why is it wrong?" "You wanna destroy half the world." "I think you misunderstand what's going on here. The world will be saved at the end of this, and we'll be free." "The world will be eaten, and we'll be gone." "I wish you could see the things that I can see." "Show me."

Images cross her mind. "A massive glowing lattice in the sky, pulling apart as red fills the air above. Thousands and thousands of voices in unison, and a sense of freedom. The cries of history, snuffed in a moment. And the beginning of something new and beautiful. Like endless... possibility. Without guidance, without fate. Without this gift. And in a brief instant, you remember what it was like to not be like this. To just be... you. You return to this dream, and see in her face, this empathetic concern. I'm doing this for the both of us, and he's doing it for everyone. I know change is hard, but we've been toys since the beginning. I wish you could understand. I wish you all could understand." And the dream ends in a flash of white light as she raises her hand.

"What if we're standing in the way of change?" "Well, Imogen, I wish my family didn't have to die for her greater tomorrow."

The way Matt said "endless possibility" is living rent free in my head. It felt so obviously meant to parallel the way he said it to Caleb the first time, the way he looked at the players he knew would pick up on that echo... it felt so intentional.

"If they had such a great idea of what the world should be and what that thing was, they would fucking tell people, and instead they're making everybody miserable." Ashton absolutely has the right idea. Everybody's selfish, everybody's acting in their own self-interest, and the gods are no different but neither are mortals.

At night, they can see that the flashes of energy are outlining a net of rivers of energy. "The leylines of Exandria are beginning to glow in anticipation of the coming solstice." And Chetney swears that they're ever-so-slowly moving -- like the leylines themselves are shifting like clouds at a nearly-imperceptible speed. Both moons look normal, though.

"Ashton... who the fuck are you and where the fuck did you come from?" fucking finally, thank you Laudna

"I am... a blank slate." "I don't believe that." "Well, you wouldn't. All of you have a place that you came from, people who made you who you are -- all except for one -- and... I hate you all a little, you know that, right? I am jealous of you because I know things you don't, I know loneliness you don't, I know the truth of people that none of you do. You know things too, don't think I don't know that..."

"What... what was it like? Waking up and having them there? What was it like to come back and everyone was still there?" "It was one of the greatest feelings, because it wasn't like that the first time." These fuckers are just trading off devastating one-liners and I am living for it

"You can't trust somebody who just wants to die all the time. I've spent time trying to prevent that little robot from murdering themselves and everyone. They're dangerous, but not for the reasons they think they are." someone is finally calling FCG on their martyr complex, thank the gods

Ashton is so thoroughly convinced that they are enlightened by their pain and suffering, that they have it so much worse than everyone else and know better because of it... I can't wait for that worldview to break once and for all.

Back from break and the Hells are talking about finding an agent of the gods to talk to about this whole thing. Excellent, thank fuck

"We should contact a holy person." "Why? Do you need convincing?" laudna.

Sending to Pike from FCG: "Robot holy person here. Big god stuff going down. God eater about to be released from Ruidus on the solstice. We need your deific help. Research. Reach out to us. Ludinus involved." "Oh. Wow. Um. Okay! Robo buddy, let me see what I can find. Okay."

Ashton and Fearne learn to fly the airship!

They also learn more about brumestone: when it is excavated, it just kind of... lifts. It's easily pushed and seems to float on its own. Through arcane charge, its buoyancy is adjusted, allowing an airship to raise and lower.

Sending to "D" from FCG: "Smiley day there. Yellow automaton you sold in Bassuras, to Dancer. Do you know where you picked me up? And are there more of me?" "A wonderful surprise. That is my gift to you: a return to your own path. I pulled you from the wreckage, and your future is yours to make. There are more of you. And more to come." D has a deep, masculine voice with a nonregional accent (I think). The voice is very similar to the voice Matt used for Devexian.

Dust storm! They lose a day of travel.

The next day, the "auroras" and leylines are becoming much brighter and more prominent. There are curtains of magical energy that twist and shift, and the leylines themselves are moving so slowly, like the most miniscule shift of a rainstorm. At night, the leylines themselves are breathtakingly beautiful, and deeply ominous.

We arrive at the Calloway Hideaway, where Birdie, Ollie, Hondir, and Ira are hiding out. Here, they've made a series of what are essentially arcane battery power banks, and Ira is continuing his work on the machine.

Ira wants to destroy the Malleus Key because he's holding a grudge against Ludinus, who kicked Ira off the initial project after he got too curious. Ira wants to destroy the key to prove that he's the superior designer.

As best he knows, Ludinus wanted something that could gather a directly-focused amount of energy. The initial design was just to be an anchor, an accelerant, a bolstering device -- that was the first design, the one in the fey realm. The next was to be different, but Ira was kicked off before Ludinus told him the plan for it, so he helped the Calloways take the crown.

Ira has been using his own machine more like a telescope than anything, keeping tabs on the dig site. Through the eyepiece, it appears to "bank" imagery -- though it's pointing up, FCG gets a top-down view of the sinkhole. After a minute, the vision is interrupted, and Ira notes that the machine seems to emit a dispelling pulse every minute or so.

Apparently, the Ruby Vanguard has made a lot of talk about "breaking, reaching, locking, destroying" Ruidus. "I didn't ask too many questions... until I asked too many questions." They've also moved all of the power sources away from the eye of Ira's machine.

"Who are you praying to?" "Those who came before me." This episode is just full of amazing one-liners, isn't it?

ooooooo whispers on an insight check to see if Ira knows anything about Predathos! Looks like he doesn't though.

Half the group goes to Bassuras to find Hexum's contact. He offers them a handful of healing potions, an amulet of health (sets CON to 19), a circlet of the hidden eye (circlet of mind shielding that deals psychic damage to creatures that try to scry on you), and a belt of momentum (gives the wearer a charge attack with a 25-foot run-up).

Meanwhile, the rest of the group are having a... family therapy session with the Calloways?

Hondir notes that what work the Verity can't finish, they have passed on to "allies more capable in these final stages."

I am so afraid of whatever narrative beat Matt is trying to hit by not ending this episode at 4 hours

Every time Matt describes Ira's limbs, I can't imagine anything except a tailless whip scorpion

As for the magical items, Imogen gets the circlet, Ashton gets the belt, and Laudna gets the amulet. In the shuffle, Chetney puts on the Butcher's Bib, Imogen gives Laudna the feywild shard, and Laudna gives FCG the pearl of power.

Liam rolls an arcane wind storm! Triggered by the rising ley energies of the solstice, colorful lightning streaks across the sky and the air hums with arcana. a failed skill challenge brings the ship down and loses them a day of travel.

....the feywild shard relies on sorcery points to function, but suude gives the user sorcery points, so in theory....

"The beauty slowly becomes terrifying as the face of magic on Exandria, like it does every two centuries or so, is changing."

Another dust storm, but with this one, they're being chased by a massive phoenix-like bird that's purple and black with wings made of flame.

Ashton rage build update: when their possibility rage build is active, there is a "probability matrix" that surrounds them in an aura.

oh my god I fucking love control parties. Fearne turns the bird into a goldfish, which is promptly carried away in the gale-force wind

also, another instance of Matt saying "spellcraft modifier" instead of "spellcasting ability modifier."

....Orym has a seed in his pouch that's glowing and pulsing? he got it from a druid in Nirdal-Poc. FCG identifies it as a message bloom; upon being planted and watered, it conveys a message from Keyleth. "Orym. The Cult of the Dark Heart beneath Terrah was a challenging maze of dangers for the Ashari, but the Darkheart Behemoth was subdued and the rift returned to our control. I message you because I attempted to apprehend Vureo, the leader of this cult, but he vanished, shouting, 'the Vanguard will prevail, and the world will finally be free.' But given all that you have told me, it would seem our paths are converging. Please, let us know where this Vanguard makes its work; perhaps I can gather the Ashari to stand against Ludinus and his Vanguard."

A message back from Imogen: "Message received. They're converging at the nexus northeast of Bassuras, the Tishtan excavation point. We should be arriving in two days' time, if all goes well. Thank you." "I appreciate the heads up. We'll gather who's available and able-bodied, see that our wounded are taken care of, and attempt to meet you there as soon as possible. Be safe."

I gotta admit, I was getting pretty worried there, but I think this significantly ups the chance of the Mighty Nein or the Crown Keepers showing up, and rather than detracting from any victories the Hells achieve it really drives home the gravity of the situation.

Talking to Orym and then to Laudna.... Imogen is seriously giving off the vibes of someone who's already made a huge decision and is trying to find justification or support for it after the fact but is only getting more evidence that what she chose was wrong.

god, the character convos in this episode have been on point.

"Ashton will spend the night with a bottle of something at the back of the ship, arguing with people who aren't there." ????

(for the record, yes, you can counterspell antimagic field.)

[blorbologist]

Do you think it was in character for Percy to give/make a gun for Mister? Even if Matt said he’d made toy ones for his kids, when you consider Taliesin saying he was content to never make a weapon again, what do you think? I mean unless, Matt talked it over with Taliesin, then… *shrug* I guess that works out.

Hi anon!

So, first of all - I have a lot of faith and trust in Matt to want his friends to be happy. They wanted to go go Whitestone to see their past PCs and the new de Rolos, so he went along with that. He's a good DM and facilitates telling the stories they want - and part of that would include having a good grasp on the characters.

He also likely had a good idea of a few things that might come up. I mean, we as a fandom certainly did: potentially seeing the quarter elves (Gwen included) and their ages, Percy and Vex's reactions to Delilah and Laudna, how Percy might be curious about an aeormaton... and, yeah, the gun angle was pretty obvious too!

I'm certain he either checked in with them on character sticking points, reread his notes for the Tal’Dorei Reborn campaign guide (I doubt what we got in the book is ALL he was given for the PCs) or reviewed important episodes (I noticed a lot of his behavior was similar to Percy's interactions with Syldor, his reaction to 'the Meatman'/Scanlan trying to get a gun from him, how he broke the news to Cass that Delilah was at a ziggurat). Probably some combination of all three!

And the difficulty lies in the fact these characters are *complicated* (said in the tone of Percy in the Search for Grog)! They don't have many hard, fast lines because they're all human (well, mortal) and their responses change with context. It's been thirty plus years - guns are everywhere, and ones so terrible he likely stays up at night fearing what they can do. A little toy gun - not even something he'd personally use, no improvement on existing designs - hardly means much at all in this modern Exandria. If Fearne had opened asking for a gun? Fuck no, goodbye, get out. If she had tried to steal one and Vex 'passive perception better than a dragon' 'ahlia saw? Likewise, big trouble. But Fearne just contributed to dealing another solid blow to Delilah. She proved she abd her friends could be trusted and were here out of genuine love for their friend. His kids are safe, his wife is safe, there’s a dead rat named after him. Sure, why not, tweaking a child's toy he made some time ago sounds reasonable right about now.

(Because he's not making a new gun from scratch - he's tweaking a pop gun intended for the use of his children. I'm sure Percy had enough sense to design them in ways to minimize the 'MOTHER, FATHER, WOLFE SHOT ME IN THE EYYYYEEE' 'FATHER HE SHOT ME IN THE BUTT ALL DAY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT HE DESERVES IT' *general wailing from the younger two that the game dissolved into chaos*)

And, see, the thing is: Matt hasn't been afraid to say 'no, you're not getting this, it would be out of character' before! Travis (playing a Charisma caster and the Nein's face!) rolled a natural twenty to ask for Holy Avenger from Kima. On a meta level it would have been fitting and fun for him to have the sword, especially given Grog gave it to her in C1.

Kima scoffs at him! And gives the sword to Yasha instead, because lesbian wavelengths or something and it was *incredible*. Point being - if he/Tal thought it would be absolutely against Percy's wishes, he would have made that 21 a 'no, but he can do this for you instead'.

Also, Percy has a powerful 'little shit' instinct. He made a sodium teakettle bomb just to win a contest, and "if they have something nice that makes you feel inferior, we can just take it", and gave Grog a sword he knew was cursed. Though guns are a touchier subject, he's made these pop guns for his kids, added some to Doty and trained the Riflemen on how to make more and their ammo.

Frankly, I think the idea was too facinating and chaotic to pass up.

(And flaming monkey shit is likely far, far less dangerous than a bullet.)

[stardustedknuckles]

Actually I’m not done being sad about Imogen’s life growing up alone with her dad because until we’re told otherwise, I choose to believe he did his very best at the severe disadvantage of having a kid who could see every impulse parents are meant to hide. Parents resent their kids sometimes. It’s normal and not in and of itself damaging. What matters is that you never make them feel responsible for your emotions and you take the actions that are best for them, setting aside your own shit because that’s your job. They don’t need to know what you really think sometimes - often, even. You might not give a rip what new thing they’re into but you support it and them because it’s important that they be encouraged. Even when all you want to do is leave them at the store for an hour for some peace, you don’t. You figure it out, and they need never know.

Imogen’s dad never got to be that, not once her powers started. Every flash of anger brought on by the grief of having to go this alone, every time he looked at Imogen and saw her mother, every time he wished she was here because he didn’t know what to do with their daughter, every time he asked why this had to happen to her (or to him)...Imogen heard it. This raw, unfiltered blast of what it means to be a person, to think and exist and set yourself aside and make choices.

It’s easy to hear that he kept his distance even within their shared isolation and condemn him for leaving her be, but Imogen learned compassion from somewhere. Imogen seems at peace with the way things had to be even if she shouldn’t have had to be. She would have seen everything her father didn’t want her to, everything he couldn’t hide in the name of being the dad she deserved, and that means she would have seen what he wanted to be for her too. The ideals he aspired to, the life he’d wanted for her, the persistent sense of failure only even slightly mitigated by the fact of him being with her out in the middle of nowhere anyway. Imogen shouldn’t have had to see how much her dad missed people and how much he resented this curse on her (the curse, specifically, not her). She shouldn’t have been able to see how much this was ruining his life - he should have had the opportunity to hide that from her and be a good dad.

Imogen learned early and hard that love involves doing things you don’t want to for the good of the person you care about. Love must look so different to her, could you imagine? Her father brings her flowers and kisses her forehead and tries really hard to think about horses because she likes them and she deserves a simple moment of kindness. Imogen in turn tries very hard not to listen to the sense of desperation and loss beneath the gesture, the futility he’s trying to overcome for her sake. Sorrow, and sometimes she can’t be sure if it’s on her behalf or not but it’s okay, he’s here and she always feels him trying.

Imogen spends her teens internalizing what it is to be cared for despite, and then one day towards the end she meets a woman who looks at her and thinks Imogen must be the kindest person she’s ever met, someone who cares for her because, and oh - that’s something completely new. She hadn’t known that was possible, and coming to understand why Laudna would find so much value in someone who could read that her intentions match her words does nothing to diminish how soothing it is to have her as a friend. Laudna’s palms are always cool on her forehead when the headaches get bad, and she’s never wishing she didn’t have to comfort Imogen. She’s genuinely happy to be here, no obligation. She doesn’t want to leave. She’ll have to - Imogen hears that too, that Laudna is never able to stay in one place for long - but Imogen’s already decided she can’t go back from this. She can’t lose this.

So they go forth together, unused to being wanted without reservation and both determined to do whatever it takes to keep the other in her life, and they love. It’s not a love anyone else would understand - how could they? - but for once they don’t need anyone else to understand them. They’re enough for each other and more.

[sparring-spirals]

Do you think Laudna would hold some resentment when she heard about how it went down? I saw some people saying she would have done anything to make them choose Imogen and I can see her begging them to choose her, if not doing more, but Imogen didn't even plead. Laudna is very kind and puts oother people before herself, so I don't think Laudna would be mean to anyone because of that, but deep down, do you think it would sting? As in "I would do it all for her, but she wouldn't do half for me?"

Okay, so, I think this question is kind of doubled, because there's the direct question of "How would Laudna feel about how her death went down with everyone else & Imogen's role in it", but I also think there's a secondary implicit question of. "Did Imogen really try everything she could/if Imogen cares so much why didn't she try harder or offer more pushback/ reacted More or done something more in the moment" which I. Would like to address. Perhaps a bit defensively. So. Sorry.

tl:dr: I really do not jibe with the reading of "Imogen not fighting harder was bc she didn't care enough" interpretation, and while i could maybe see Laudna taking in the series of events as a sort of awful condemnation/indicator about how important/valued she is. I think its more likely for that to reflect in a negative self estimation/affirmation rather than resentment towards the others.

But to focus on the first q, first:

I don't know if Laudna would hold resentment, per se. I think that whole situation was an absolute nightmare and there were no good choices, and I don't see a world where Laudna comes back and doesn't see that, or try to understand that. Could hearing about it drive home some personal fears and bad feelings and questions for Laudna? Yeah, defs. But i feel like that negativity has a higher chance of going in than out. I think it could sting, sure. But I'm not sure Laudna, at least the Laudna we knew as she died, would have the mindset to view it as a "Well I would have, so why didn't she?". Rather than a, say: "Well. Of course. Of course." (And tbh, Laudna's opinion of Imogen is such that I'd be surprised if she heard ANY eval of the sitch and went "Well why didn't Imogen do more" instead of "Well I'm sure my beloved light and Target of Many Projections And Hopes did everything she could AND she brought me back, so-". I am saying this with the requisite levels of exasperation and affection.)

Also along those lines- I don't know yet what the Bells are going to do to try to get her back. But i think that would influence it as well. Bc i don't think they're going to make small swings.

And for the second, implicit question, which tbh I- really don't agree with. At least 40% of it might be personal read on Imogen and just Personal Beliefs, so I'm going to lay out as much of it as possible and we can go from there. If this is knee-jerk and off topic, my apologies.

Okay first, can we just- all agree that the entire situation was a clusterfuck from top to bottom? it was dire as hell, folks. Three of them died. It must have felt like a miracle it wasn't more. Everyone rattled and still trying to act. Fearne, freshly not dead, had never even done a revivify, and they were looking at. An impossible choice. Two are down. You can only choose one.

How do you choose which of your friends to kill?

(Let's be real. In that situation, that's what you're choosing.)

I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart read Imogen as the kind of character who is very used to pressing down her comforts and her wants to get things done. In regular situations.

So what happens when you want something, you want it so badly it feels like it could kill you if you lose it, when you need something, and you also know, you know with zero doubt, that pursuing that want means you kill your other friend.

What happens when this whole shitshow feels like it is your fault, your memory is still fresh with these friends dying to send a message to you, personally. What the fuck kind of right do you have to demand, your other friend die for this, for her, (for you, for your wants).

And at this point maybe we get a: Okay but this isn't about Imogen, this is about LAUDNA, who is the one who actually needs to be brought back to life, this is about Orym, whose life hangs in the balance as well.

And you're right. You're so right and I have so many feelings about it here have this excellent meta by @professorthaddeus about it so i don't add 8 more paragraphs here but yes. It's not about Imogen, right? it shouldn't be.

that's the point. that's the problem. i really, really think the depth of that want played right into why Imogen wouldn't have pushed back more, why Imogen was desperately trying to figure out an option that wouldn't kill one for the other- threatening Delilah, mentioning Laudna having been dead before. This wasn't about Imogen. This couldn't be, not with Orym lifeless looking up and Fearne's voice shaking and Laudna dead, Laudna dead-

(Imogen had also tried pleading, she had just pleaded, she had begged and tried to give in and- it hadn't done anything. It had accomplished literally nothing, her begging and desperation had done nothing but expose her friends as weak spots for Otohan to target and oh god that is so. so fucked up.)

(Also none of this even takes into account the whole "Imogen was probably still extremely shell shocked and disoriented after being a human shockwave and probably in some level of denial", but know I'm counting that too).

(ALSO the way Imogen yelled at Ashton after to treat Laudna's body with dignity, more than once. Those outbursts and insistences are just so. just so.)

And okay one last thing is this, which is this meta about Imogen and how she deals with Problems vs how Laudna does and I think its maybe relevant again.

god im getting off track a bit here maybe but like- i really think Imogen's reaction was heartbreaking and so fueled by love and fear and shock and panic and- understandable given a nightmare of a situation.

and i definitely think the details of this might impact Laudna, if she were to hear about it, although in what ways, as always, remain to be seen. But my guess is- not good for her self esteem. Everything else is a bit more up in the air.

[newbornnebulae]

Truth is a loaded gun

The truth of the matter is, Dorian has grown to care for his friends. It's the only reason he makes the choice that he does.

A character study of Dorian in episode 5, because Robbie made some WILD decisions. Also on AO3

Dorian’s thinking of Dariax as he speaks to the disembodied voice that had visited his dear friend the previous evening already. As he bargains with it, his mouth moves faster than he can keep up. He’s bluffing, he thinks, when he says yes, yes he would trade the crown, an undeniable danger to the world in Poska’s hands, for his friend’s safety.

Maybe he doesn’t know himself as well as he should because when he searches inside for the lie that should be there, there’s only truth. He’s always considered himself a good man, reasonable, logical, moral… but he can feel the ring of honesty in his words; he would truly rather the whole of Emon burn down (again) than allow something to happen to his friend -friends, he corrects himself. 

It’s just that he can’t get the image of Dariax’s eyes gone jet black out of his head. The colour of his eyes are too lovely to be hidden in such an unsettling manner. The handsome dwarf doesn’t have enough self-preservation, or any for that matter. It’s all too easy for Dorian to imagine him falling prey to the crown and to the Spider Queen. Every time Dariax makes to reach for the crown with his bare hands, Dorian can feel his own chest constrict.

If Dariax were to turn into a darker form of himself, Dorian doesn’t believe he’ll have the strength to deal with it in the same way they’d dispatched of Alternate-Fearne. With the crown gone, there would be nothing of that nature to worry about. Dariax could continue to be his stupidly charming and pure self.

It’s beyond frustrating to Dorian that Orym had used Gilmore’s enchanted box just to send away a damned note. More than that, he’s upset with himself for insisting they hold onto the cursed crown in the first place.

Almost from a far away perch, he could see and hear himself snap at Orym unreasonably, time and time again. What makes it doubly worse is that Orym hardly ever responds in kind, doesn’t point fingers or place blame. It never makes Dorian feel better, only guiltier.

He knows it’s his own fault they are in this mess; the only reason Dariax is forced to continue carrying the crown is because Dorian had insisted they keep it. Dorian knows and the whole group must think it too. But all Orym does is quietly observe his outbursts. It’s annoying that Orym can remain so calm even as he confronts Dorian, while Dorian keeps having these hot flashes of anger he can hardly control.

Dorian finds himself to be more irritable as they traverse through the jungle, the heat and humidity of the place getting under his skin. Aside from his frustration with Orym, he eyes Fy’ra Rai with distrust, bristles at Opal’s prodding, and can’t help but grow annoyed at Fearne’s flute playing. It’s irritating when she plays poorly, the sound grating against his patience. It’s bothersome in it’s own way when she plays well, an uncomfortable jealousy prickling his skin.

The only person who hardly gets on his nerves is Dariax. 

Partly it’s from a sense of guilt. At Gilmore’s, Dariax had looked at him so earnestly. 

“If you want to keep it, we’ll keep it,” he’d said, unquestioningly supportive even when Dorian couldn’t give the group a good reason why. He’d seen how frightened Dariax had been after his dream with the Spider Queen. The dwarf had made an admirable attempt to act as though everything were fine, but it is plain to see that everything is not fine. 

There’s something so remarkably straightforward about Dariax, some would say simple-minded. As someone who doesn’t know the first thing about being straightforward, Dorian appreciates that about him.

Where Dariax is earnest and charming, Dorian is reserved most of the time and politely posh at his best. Dariax goes along with anything, easygoing and generous with his warmth. The only thing Dorian is generous about is imagining a generous amount of terrible scenarios that could happen. He can, at any given point in time, come up with more than twenty reasons why something is a bad idea. He’s rational in the worst of ways. 

As far as adventuring goes, Dariax has significantly more experience than him. The dwarf is never afraid to wander into the unknown. Dorian prefers to know where he’s going, how long it will take to get there, what dangers there might be, so on and so forth. It’s an effort for him to relax, something he’s had to learn how to do.

It was all learned, Dorian’s charm. Growing up, he hadn’t possessed an ounce of charisma. But he’d practiced until he could murmur polite platitudes in his sleep. He studied others, trying to figure out how people worked. He stood in front of his reflection, training himself to stand confidently, move naturally. Sheltered child that he had been, it had been important to have a certain image.

Slipping into Dorian Storm, a charming bard, was all the easier for it later on.

Unfortunately for him, the awkwardness still comes out sometimes. Dorian is still kicking himself for his display at Gilmore’s. Attractive men made it difficult for him to retain his composure or think straight. He’d gotten flustered again at the pageant, seeing Dariax in the clothes he himself wore everyday. 

He should consider himself lucky that he’d managed to remain cool in front of the group for so long. Next to Orym, he’s supposed to be the other reasonable one. Well, the group still likes him just fine and Dariax still looks at him with respect and admiration at the very least. 

While Dorian does his best not to read too much into the other man’s words -Dariax is the type to say things without thinking them through- he can’t help but think he’s Dariax’s favourite out of the whole group. Dariax looks to him for leadership, wakes him up after having a nightmare, sleeps back to back with Dorian out of everybody else.

It’s flattering, it’s nice, and it could be why Dariax is Dorian’s favourite.

It’s not the whole picture though. Dorian thinks on how he’d said to Poska all those weeks ago, “If Dariax doesn’t like you then I don’t like you.” Even back then Dariax had had his trust, as much as he’s able to give at least. Perhaps it has to do with the week of memories they’d collectively lost. Dorian doesn’t know how else he could have so much respect for a dwarf that he’s seen with shit in his beard. 

As much as Dariax seems to seek him out, Dorian gravitates toward Dariax in turn. It’s impossible for Dorian to be totally truthful about himself, but with Dariax, some foolish part of him wants to be. While the circus Dariax believes in does not exist, Dorian had not been completely dishonest about his situation. It’s the most he’s ever shared with someone. 

The thing is, Dorian has never had a best friend before, but if he had to guess, Dariax is the closest thing he has to one. Emon be damned, Dorian’s not ready to give that up anytime soon. 

[pushingdaisies1]

MMMM , critical role a n g s t

For all my Dorian x Orym shippers and my fellow dorian/orym simps , this is for yOU (also to fuel my love for angst) Just imagine , being into either orym or dorian. You hurtfully but sweetly looking over at Dorian and Orym , feeling the feelings generating off of the two. The “Other woman” by Lana del ray is kicking in. You can see the feelings the two have and try to help as much as you can. Fearne could see the cesspool that was this confused love triangle(?) Did she go to you? , yes. Did she try to persuade you to talk to Orym/Dorian about your feelings? , yes. The two of you had a long conversation about it and she in the end decided to cheer you up as much as she could. She wanted to talk to dorian/orym about it because well , jUSt let the feelings fly FREe! You and Fearne though were complete opposites from another , she understood that you wanted to wait and made her lips sealed. It did sting though seeing how it made you up at night , worriedly pondering. The feelings for Orym/Dorian died for a while , having had decided to push it all deep down and focus on the more pressing matters at stake. Though it did not help once Dorian left. If its Dorian your pining over , the sword was stabbed in deeper during the goodbye party. Lets say that would be the case if you did not decide to tag along with Cyrus and Dorian. You could feel the small touch of Fearne’s hand on your as you all toasted to Dorian and Cyrus’s departure. You deep down at a good feeling that this wouldnt be a goodbye. The final teary goodbye the two of you shared was partially filled with deep deep dread , but also this tingle. The tingle that you will both see each other again , maybe not soon but later. IF THIS IS YOU LIKING ORYM , OOO OOO OOO! The whole time your rubbing his hand , he has his held in yours. Gently you rubbed your finger against his knuckles as you watch Dorian and Cyrus’s leave. It hurt to watch Dorian departure from the group , one of your closest allies. Orym made your heart sink into your entire being. Seeing his expression the whole time , you understood him. It did partially sting knowing the feelings he did have for Dorian but you got why this was all so bittersweet for him. You both had a deep talk that night , sharing both of your feelings all over the table. Getting it out , I think the two of you had an understanding about each other.

[zelsisi]

………

I barely have words for this post but I’m still gonna try to do ze words

But also

BEWARE CRITICAL ROLE SPOILERS

I tuned into Critical Role tonight cause I was like “Why not? I need some more dnd stuff right now.” And proceeded to just lose my fucking shit…

I saw the party just get their shit ducked up completely. Several people went down and people were trying to run but it wasn’t going very well.

Then the Queen bitch of the hour swaps with her echo and kills Orym. Like. Fully. Dead. All Death Saves as Failure. And Liam says what’s going through Orym’s head and she says they’ve met before and then ending him! If I could’ve screamed I would’ve but it was late and I don’t live alone so.

I started sobbing

Then it continued and I managed to stop sobbing but I was still crying

And then Fearne dies. And once again I wanted to scream so I just ended up sobbing more.

And we end with Orym and Fearne dead, Laudna unconscious, Chetney barely conscious, FGC hiding, Ashton running away, and Imogen going into Dark Phoenix territory and ending on a fucking cliffhanger.

My brain shut down for like a minute or two from the shock after it ended.

I have no bad thoughts for Matt or for the group cause it seems to be something they’ve agreed to and I know Matt doesn’t maliciously try and kill his players so something is up.

I also saw in chat of people saying along the lines of “Matt’s literally telling Laura how to stop this” “Give into your power” and many other things but like. It’s clear Imogen as a character didn’t want to give into that storm, it scared the fuck out of Imogen. What we fear we avoid. I understand why she didn’t do it. But I do think it would’ve been also very telling for her to be like “To save my friends” and give in that way.

We’ll find out next week what the fuck is going on. I’m going to go to sleep cause I’m really tired from sobbing

[peach-the-owl]

Exu crew and an artificer kid? The crew enters the kids home town and they don't seem that happy about it but doesn't say anything, everyone goes different ways to shop/explore/etc and while everyone goes their own ways the kids old bullies pull them into an alleyway and just bully them breaking anything kid made/name calling/pulling hair just being unbelievable mean. The bullies all freeze, then kid looks over their shoulders and sees the whole group behind them looking intimidating, the bullies run away while the other ask what's going on and try to comfort their child.

Wow this was longer then I expected SORRY!! I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

There’s no need to be sorry for an idea 😁 I hope this turned out good

(Second piece to deal with a bullying theme, dang)

Fine Craftsmanship

ExU Crew & Child!Artificer!Reader

The trip to Byroden was a longer one then you first thought, having to make a few pit stops to rest and restock on food, but it did have its perks, giving you time to work on some projects while on the road. They weren’t anything huge, you wanted to surprise everyone in the group with a personally crafted item, everything was fine at first until you recognized the town you were currently approaching.

"Are you alright (y/n)? You seem a bit jumpy." Dorian comments, having noticed your fidgeting hands. You take a quick second to calm yourself before replying.

"I’m fine, this is actually my hometown. I haven’t seen it in awhile, you know." He gives you a small nod and gets himself a better look out the window.

"If you’re from here that means you know where all the good stops are right?" Dariax asks excitedly.

"I’m still a kid, I wouldn’t know what’s 'good' in your opinion." You stare blankly, it was a bit strange sometimes to be one of the smartest people in the group.

"Right, right. No drinking for you." Dariax says, as if he already knew all this. You playfully roll your eyes at him and smile a little, maybe this wouldn’t so bad after all, so long as you stayed close to everyone. You enter the town and find a good place to park the Glitter-Shitter (I can’t even write the word with a straight face) before making your way into the marketplace and instantly Opal is off browsing the different shops and stalls of the market, dragging Fearne along with her and Fy'ra Rai trailing behind them, telling everyone to meetup in an hour. Dorian heads over to the tavern hoping to sweet talk the folk there for some food for the road, Dariax tagging along most likely to grab some drinks and test his luck with some gambling. Orym had disappeared from your sight entirely, heading off to do his own thing if you had to take a guess. You sigh unsure of where to go, now just hoping things go by quickly and without trouble as you sit by the wagon pull out some tools and continue to tinker away at a small gift you were making for Fearne for a while, placing your mind into a false sense of security.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to come home." You hear a chillingly familiar voice spite at you and look over at the three people you were hoping not to see. There was Marty, Hamna, and their self proclaimed leader Fion (I just made up some names here, idk), they used to terrorize you relentlessly until you’d finally had enough and snuck on that cart to Emon, which lead to the adventure you were on now, a story come full circle in the worst way to you. You get up quickly hoping to dash over to where Opal and Fearne where looking at some sparkling necklaces for protection, you don’t move quick enough as you’re yanked back by your hair by either Marty or Hamna as Fion covers your mouth to avoid you shouting for help. Once pulled into a nearby alleyway, away from public view, Marty and Hamna each restrain one of your arms. You thrash and struggle to try and free yourself, managing to loosen their grip slightly only to get socked in the jaw by Fion giving the other two the chance to readjust their grip into a more secure position, trapping you.

"Let go! Leave me alone!" You shout as you continue to squirm to try and free yourself.

"Awww, and what are you going to do if we don’t?" Marty teases. You wanted to cast something to no avail with their tight grip preventing you of freeing yourself and grabbing your tools.

"Look at them," Hamna laughs, "they’re too weak to even break free." You glare at them. Fion walks over to you and starts rummaging around your bag, mindlessly throwing around the various items you’ve worked on for a long time to make.

"What’s this supposed to be?" They ask, holding up a hair clip you had intended to give to Opal.

"That’s for my friend! Put it back!" You shout a little too loud for their liking and the two holding your arms use their free hands to cover your mouth, muffling your words or cry’s for help. The one holding the hair clip looks it over in their hand before looking you in the eyes and snapping the item in half.

"Oops, sorry. My hand slipped." Their voice dripped with sarcasm. They continue to rummage through your bag, or look through the small pile of items they threw out of it, pulling out items you wanted to give to everyone as gifts. Every time they’d inspect one item, they'd just as quickly break it, smashing it on the ground or snapping it in their hands. You struggled and tugged against the two still holding you back and muffling out your voice, but it was no use, you were restrained, unable to call for help and left to helplessly watch as they destroyed your hard work. As if things couldn’t get worse, they pull out your tools, the literal lifeblood for your magic, look you straight in your eyes and while struggling a bit manage to break them too.

"Awww, they’re crying like a baby." Hamna laughs.

"That’s because they are a baby." Marty continues.

"If you really want to cry like a baby, we’ll give a reason to cry." Fion eggs on, getting the other two to harshly shove you to the ground. You curl into a ball preparing for the worst, you wait a moment and when nothing happens you peek up to see the three of them frozen in place with fear in their eyes. You adjust yourself to have a look over your shoulder and see everyone standing with intimidating looks on their faces.

Dorian stared daggers at the bullies, while also subtly fiddling with his handaxe. Opal twirled her knives in her hands, magic sparking at her fingertips, and if you looked closely enough you could see a faint glow emit from her necklace. Fearne stood tall, her snake staff coming to life and hissing at the three, Mister well perched on her shoulder screeches, purposely showing the fiery interior of his mouth. Orym takes a step in front of you, acting as a shield for you while placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, you knew well enough he wouldn’t actually draw his sword on the other kids, but they didn’t know that. Dariax on the other hand looked very ready to strike at the three, holding a tight grip on his spear.

"Are you hurt bad?" Orym asks quietly, looking over to you. You shake your head giving an equally quiet "no".

"I’m not a fan of people hurting my little friend here." You hear Dariax say, now fulling pointing his spear at the others, the three each take step back. You finch at the feeling of being suddenly lifted off the ground, finding yourself in Dorian's arms, he gives you a concerned but reassuring smile.

"Let’s get out of here!" Fion commands and the three turn to leave but are stopped when Fy'ra Rai blocks their exit, her eyes burning into them with fury.

"You’re unjust actions should not be left unpunished. You dare to put down this child as if they are weak, when it is you three that are the weaklings. Knowing you would never stand a chance alone you group together and single out the ones you see as vulnerable. It is sad and pathetic, now leave while we still show you mercy." Her voice held such a powerful tone to it, it almost felt like the ground itself shook at her words. Fion, Marty and Hamna scramble over each other before running off, one of them crying for their mommy.

"Who where those children? Do you know?" Dorian asks. You let out a long sigh and explain to everyone a bit about your life when you still lived in the town.

"What’s all this stuff here?" Opal speaks up, staring at the broken pile of items.

"I wanted to surprise you all with some gifts I made, but now their all broken." You sigh sadly.

"You made theses for us?"

"I tried to, I know they aren’t that good but you’ve all been so nice and carding to me, I wanted to retune the favour."

"That’s really sweet of you." Fearne smiles, giving you a pat on the head, you smile a little at this.

"Why don’t you just fix them? I’ve seen ya do stuff like that before." Dariax butts in.

"I would, but they broke my tools too." You pout.

"Well that’s easy, we'll just buy you some new tools." Dorian states, shuffling you in his grip a bit to have a better hold on you. You look up at him with big hopeful eyes.

"Really? I don’t want to bother you."

"It’s no bother at all, your our little genius, the last thing we’d want are some small town jerks preventing you from ever thinking that." He proudly proclaims, getting affirmation from the others. Fy'ra Rai walks over and gently lifts your chin up to look at her.

"Listen to me little one, you are much stronger then you'd ever believe, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise." You give her a small nod, not entirely sure what she means but finding her words encouraging nonetheless.

"You know what? I do remember seeing these really awesome looking tools, while searching for a cloths shop. Here I’ll show you." Opal brightens up a bit, grabbing and dragging Dorian and by extension you off into the market again.

"Opal!" Dorian calls in surprise, holding tighter to you so you wouldn’t fall. You just giggle at the two, looking over your shoulder to see the others hurrying to catch up.

[captainsspnanon]

C3E03 - ‘Live’blog and reaction

Episode THREE!!!!

I will admit, I watched just under an hour of it last night, so granted reactions for that bit won’t be immediate, but oh well.

One thing I’m sad about the art reel?  The commissioned art seems like it’s all the same.  I’d be more into it if it were varied.

(am I going to rewatch the first hour now?  YES I AM)

I have gotten used to the new voices pretty damn quickly, to be honest.  I think the only ones throwing me off still are Sam and Travis, and Travis only because Bertrand sometimes slips into Fjord, though it’s stabilizing more and more.  Laura’s just sounds natural now.

While the bit is cute, I’m still not a huge fan of the cut aways and such.

...look.  I fully respect the entire cast and crew of Critical Role, and recognize that they are human beings deserving of full respect and treatment as such.  BUT I’m sorry!  When Marisha stands up in the crop top! BELLY.  When Liam tugs at his shirt later in the episode and COLLARBONE.  And just ASHLEY.   ….I’M SORRY I’M THIRSTY.

….did trying to switch to chrome just crash my entire computer and I had to restart. WTF.  I just want to watch in 1080p without it lagging every 10 seconds!

Well, chrome was worse than firefox.  *sigh*  I really don’t want to have to wait for the rebroadcast to start, I can’t pause as needed then!

….I messed with everything I could and it STILL lagged.  My choices are wait almost two hours for the rebroadcast to start, or watch at 720p.  *very frustrated sigh*  I DID NOT SUBSCRIBE FOR SHITTY QUALITY.  I’m genuinely wondering if I’m just going to have to start waiting for the youtube upload, except I’ll miss tumblr.  Where there will be constant spoilers.

….720p is lagging. Wtf, I hate twitch.  Alright.  Switched back to 1080p, I’ll try to see if I can just let it ‘pre-load’ a bit.  If not, I guess I’ll wait til the rebroadcast?  AAARGH.

Lolling at Sam calling out Ashley for not wearing shoes

Yes, this is DnD. Nobody remembers SHIT from the end of last episode!

REALLY interested to see more of Fearne!!  I love how she’s just tapping and scratching and banging the door and thinking she’s being helpful.

I’m also interested to see where Orym is going to go, Liam’s giving him good physicality, which adds a lot of characterization to a milder PC.

...Laudna’s still my favorite though.  Along with like, everyone else in the world too.

Okay, (again, I saw basically the first hour last night) so rather than do a beat by beat reaction to Travis and Laura, I just want to say that it’s AMAZING, I love ALL OF IT, and also I feel like C3 is much more of a trash fire than C2 was.  Like, are the players actively getting WORSE with things like planning and such?  I don’t know and I don’t care, it’s hysterical and I love it all!

THEY KEPT THE CREEPY WHISPERS.

Yes, these reactions are out of order because I’m going off of memory while the video lags WHATEVER DON’T CARE.

Character wise, I’d be fine if Bertrand stayed or left, honestly I’m fine with him as ongoing PC, and I’m also fine if Travis ends up switching him out. Ashton and (shockingly) FCG still don’t have me yet, but they’ve also not really had too much?  Like, I saw the interview with Sam so the idea of a therapist bot is interesting, but so far neither PC has really grabbed me.  I’m sure that will change soon!  All the rest? Yeah, invested!

The making my way running gag is sloowly dying out, oh well.  I’m okay with it being basically a C2 gag.

Oh god I forgot that Bertrand went full on Lockheart with the ‘beasts’ he defeated

Laudna has darkvision!  Innnnteresting.

I don’t know how I feel about them CHANGING the things that Laudna says as creepy whispers.  I like just the echos.

I am not complaining!  I have no clue why, but the lagging has stopped.  SO HAPPY.  Also, eff the rebroadcasts, they don’t even have 1080p!

I thought they did sleep at the spire by fire, and it’s just that they had their breakfast the next day at the weary way.

I wonder what would have happened had Bertrand and Imogen caught up with Danas.  (I’m also wondering if that will happen once I caught up, as they hadn’t returned to the group when I was still watching)

Interesting that Matt says that the purple hair isn’t actually that distinctly noticeable, which does give a good context to the location.

Not necessarily relating to the episode, but I think one of the biggest reasons that Critical Role works so well is because everyone in the cast cracks up at SO MUCH.  Like, they all laugh SO HARD at so many situations, they all cheer certain situations, they all gasp and shriek, it’s a group that has very very similar reactions which aren’t faked, and I feel like that’s a very big influence in creating watchability and likeability.

I feel like the ‘meet me outside’ was the first Hamilton reference of the campaign.

I jinxed it. Frequent lagging again.  And I’m just about at the point where I stopped watching last night, which was right after Ashton and FCG’s conversation about wants and desires.

I’m interesting to see the Laudna and Fearne dynamic, as part of me wonders if it’s residual Beauyasha rather than new character interaction, or is it just that these characters are drawn to each other as well?

NOT SHIPPING YET.  I didn’t start shipping until mid-C2 I think as well.  I can see why certain ships are drawing people’s attention, but not for me yet.

I soooo want to know what Laura wrote on Ashley’s paper that made Ashley gasp while Laura was nodding smugly.  TELL ME

NIGHT TIME.  And here’s gonna be all new for me, now!  (also, I’m still mixed feelings on the night mode.  They get so washed out!)

...Orym just slashed the inner door lock.  Laudna had damaged the front door.  Like, there is NO subtlety here!  They’re gonna get found out like right away!

I love that Bertrand is consistently making Laura crack up.  It’s so cute!

I’m SO glad that Ashley gets to be the impulsive one now.

Danas with a group of 10????

Is that the hag voice?  A little, maybe not as drawn out, but it’s got that rasp and jolt to it.  Not the same NPC, I’m sure, but fun to recognize!

Illusion??  Or trap??

Vampires?

DOUBLE NAT ONE ON ROLLIES!!!

I like Laudna and unnamed antagonist having a mini creepy-off, it’s like Matt and Marisha flirting in a nightmarish way XD

Zoom in on minis! That Laudna mini is awesome!

Rogue with four attacks????  It’s only one combatant (for now), but it feels like these early fights are much more intense than the C2 early fights. Granted, they started at level 3 instead of level 2, but still!

Like, I know it’s 8 PCs, so this is probably a balanced fight, but HOLY SHIT that’s a lot of mooks!

Oh SHIT, this is the same day as the last fight???!! I FORGOT.   ….it’s too early for a TPK right?  ...it’s too early for someone to DIE, RIGHT??????

The stresses of watching live, I don’t have these things spoiled anymore!

Dooon’t say Counterspell as Caleb, I STILL MISS YOU even though I’m also watching C2 I STILL MISS YOU

...is Orym going to die?

THEY MISS THANK GOD

It’s only episode 3, but already FCG’s name seems natural and not jokey anymore.  I do like everyone figuring out how they’re going to call him though. Letters?  Freshy?  Fresh Cut?  FCG?  

Also, now we know what happens with that empathic bond thing that lets them take half the damage as temporary hit points.  Glad to know it’s not guaranteed to hurt them!

BERT AND FEARNEY I LOVE IT

I like that the map is on the table in front of them, but they’re still watching the zoomed in screen.

AND LET’S GO FEARNE WITH BLINDSIGHT

Travis I question you and your choices.  I’m not saying they’re bad!  I’m saying I question them.

What the fuck was that song??  I almost thought Toys’r’us kid, but that doesn’t seem right.

You can see “just don’t” on Ashton’s mini!!!  I’m not sure how I feel about them as a PC yet, but as a DESIGN???  Best designed PC of the campaign.

I don’t know if it’s because of ExU, or just from Ashley being back for so long, but she seems so comfortable in Fearne, and so comfortable with making decisions and explaining her HDYWTDT.  I love her so much!  I know she’s said that improv is the hardest for her, so I hope this really helps her become more comfortable and confident in it!

Dead Danas.

Iiiinteresting.  I wonder if this is going to be a relationship like the Gentleman, where there are jobs available and they might do a few, but the plot will move on and it won’t be a main quest giver, or whether they’ll do something new this time around and Lord E. will be like a hub point where all quests come from.

CAAAAKE

Asking for a name already??? Only episode 3!!!

Hints at backstory! An outfit for Orym, and a one-eyed creature for FCG!

Awww, that was genuinely a cute conversation!  I like this NPC.

“Yes, if I want to” I love you SO MUCH Fearne and Ashley

ASHTON WHAT IS THAT BACKSTORY HINT AAAAAGH

and of course now that the episode’s almost over, it’s back to constantly lagging again.  It’s taken me almost 6 hours to watch this episode! (granted, doing some stuff while it was lagging helped pass the time, but still).  I wish I could watch the entire episode live, but I just can’t handle being up that late.  I AM OOOOLD.

...Imogen is actually a horse girl, omg

Wait the dwarf comes up to Bertrand’s shoulder-ish?  That’s a pretty tall dwarf, innit?  Well, to be fair, DnD heights confuse me.

Ah ha.  I guess Bertrand was a temporary PC then.

DUST CLOUD EFFECTS DUST CLOUD EFFECTS

So Imogen can dream deaths?

LOL OMG LIAM PUMPING HIS FIST WHEN BERTRAND SAYS “Lieve’tel”

Hindsight, Travis was massive forshadowing his exit.  Wonder if Robbie was as well?  He was also a bit maudlin.

Saw Matt’s tweets. I wonder why Travis wanted his character to come in later, rather than at the start.  A bit relieved that I don’t need to worry about dementia jokes, like came in a little bit during the first episode. That just….hit a little too close to home right now, and I was worried about how it would play out.  I was also wondering why Travis had gone full melee again, when his whole thing with Fjord was that he desperately wanted spells after 3 years without it, so I would have thought mixed combat again.  Looking forwards to meeting his new PC!

Wait, does this confirm that his new PC is going to be less than Orym’s INT?  OH FUCK

@suicidallyreckless

[sophieellisbextorarchives]

Sequins, songs, kids... dance! This is what saved SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR’s sanity during lockdown

‘I think I’m doing this for me.’ But for now, we need to head back to her house, where Sonny has appeared, and Mickey is delighted to see his mum. Plates are waiting to be spun, and as I let myself out, Jesse is putting on a show in the kitchen, with Sophie as the audience, sitting under the disco ball. ....and her wonderfully joyous discos filmed in the family kitchen helped lift the nation’s spirits too. She tells Hattie Crisell why Friday nights round at hers became so precious

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-8549299/Sequins-songs-kids-dance-saved-SOPHIE-ELLIS-BEXTORs-sanity-lockdown.html

Sophie Ellis-Bextor opens the door to me with a toddler in her arms – smiley 18-month-old Mickey – and her four-year-old son Jesse behind her, his hair a deep shade of copper. ‘You have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen,’ I tell him, genuinely quite dazzled, and he replies bashfully, ‘Well, I’ve just had it cut.’

Welcome to Sophie’s world: a large and glittering house in West London, packed to the rafters with kitsch, toys, cats and boys. I don’t know how many cats are around, but the boys number five: Mickey, Jesse, eight-year-old Ray, 11-year-old Kit and 16-year-old Sonny. Managing the lot are the singer, her husband Richard Jones (bass guitar player with The Feeling and the supergroup Loup GarouX), and a nanny, who joins them Monday to Friday during the working day. ‘I used to have a nanny who was with us all the time, and to be honest I felt like it was too much,’ says Sophie. ‘It’s fine if it’s my thing that I think about 24 hours a day, but I think it’s healthy for other people to have their own life away from it all. It’s five kids – it’s a lot.’

It certainly is, and it’s hard to imagine how demanding it must have been during lockdown, when the only one missing was the nanny. The public got a glimpse of this when Sophie performed a weekly series of ‘kitchen discos’, broadcasting them live via Instagram, her husband filming on his phone. They launched these shows during the bleakest part of the pandemic, and the good will that emanated from them was enormously cheering. She would appear in a sequined jumpsuit or rainbow-striped dress, a pair of platforms at the end of her mile-long legs, and would serenade the camera while children wandered casually in and out of view. Sometimes her teenage son would jump in to rescue the baby from a trailing wire, or one of the boys would need a cuddle, and their mother would pull them in close, keeping her other hand on the mic.

It was charming chaos. The music encompassed hits from Sophie’s back catalogue such as ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ and ‘Take Me Home’ – or ‘Stay at Home’, as she rechristened it – but also crowd-pleasing covers and theatrical numbers from shows such as Grease. For the audience, it offered uplifting relief from the frightening reality of the time: climbing death rates and isolation. It was comfort music, I say. ‘Exactly,’ she agrees. ‘And disco’s always had that for me anyway. It’s so euphoric and joyful, and it’s complex. In disco you can have the most painful, heartbreaking scenarios, but they’re in among something that makes you want to put your hands in the air and sing along. I think music can allow you the space to feel joy and anxiety at once.’

I am delighted to find that one end of their large kitchen still looks very much as it did, with the disco ball and a half-deflated helium balloon in place over the sofa. She confirms that it’s more or less always like this, perhaps minus the tinsel curtain. Colour and fun are everywhere in the house, from the framed retro artworks filling every wall, to the pinball machine in pride of place. At the other end of the kitchen, a diner-style menu-board for the kids bears the words, ‘Be polite or no service.’

Leaving the children with the nanny, Sophie and I head out to chat on a bench in the park. She’s wearing an embroidered navy dress and a red fluffy cardigan, with red lipstick that has mostly worn off; at 41, she’s truly beautiful, with very pale green eyes. Despite what we’ve seen from her on Instagram, it hasn’t been an easy time. For one thing, there was the fall from her bike in June that left her in hospital with a gory head wound. When I mention it, though, she brushes it off with, ‘I cannot dine out on that any more.’ Then she adds, ‘I mean, I don’t recommend cycling off a towpath – it did hurt.’

‘I knew that this was something that was happening in millions of households. I do worry about all my parents – I say “all” because I’ve got step-parents as well – but I think really it was focused on John, because he’s so vulnerable. It’s such a weird, torturous thing isn’t it for human beings, if you say that hanging out with someone you love is the one thing that might actually endanger them? How can you wrap your head around that?’

She hasn’t been thrilled with the government messaging around the virus. ‘“Stay at home” is clear and concise and all ages get it. “Stay alert”? I hardly ever feel alert. I don’t feel alert now.

And we’ve all shown we’re good at following guidelines that make sense, but you can’t keep bending it for people. Look at the effect when the rules were made flexible.’ She seems to be referring obliquely to the Dominic Cummings/Barnard Castle debacle. ‘We all thought, “Oh well, if we could have been going off and having day trips all this time, why was I staying at home and not seeing my mum, who lives ten minutes away?” I found that really tough.’

The kitchen discos were as much for her and the family as they were for the audience. ‘It was Richard’s idea. One day we were making plans and doing stuff, and the next day it was like, boomph, everything shut down. Suddenly we were just home all the time, all work cancelled, all the festivals… I was supposed to be going to Australia, New Zealand, I had gigs all round Europe. And Richard was, like, “Well, why don’t we do a gig here, and it gives us something to do and a bit of fun?” I think we missed everybody.’

Performing during that time, even via Instagram, gave her a huge sense of connection, she says. ‘I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had that, and I don’t know how it would have been for our family, because it became really precious.’ She’s now planning a Kitchen Disco Tour next May (there will also be an album, out this October), and hopes it will offer audiences a cathartic experience. ‘I want to provide a place where people can get lost in the moment. I want them to walk out of there and go, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know how much I needed that.”’

It was no surprise to her boys to see her dressed up and performing; Mickey sleeps in the room where she keeps her fantastic stage wardrobe, and they’ve all been with her to festivals, gigs and recording studios. It was clear from their low-key presence in the kitchen discos (she left it up to them whether they wanted to be there or not) that they’re not fazed by it. ‘The older I’ve got, the more the me at home and the me on stage is the same person anyway,’ she says. Her first solo album came out almost 20 years ago; this one will be her eighth.

She’s also just celebrated her 15th wedding anniversary with Richard. Theirs was a whirlwind romance that stuck: ‘I found out I was having a baby after only about six weeks,’ she says with a smile. ‘We’d known each other for a while – he’d been in my band – but we’d literally just started dating and I hadn’t even really told anybody.’ Sonny was born two months prematurely, thus arriving only eight months after they’d got together.

And they’ve now got him almost to adulthood, I say. ‘Yeah, and he’s lovely; he’s his own person. You know, parenthood is so much more reactive than I ever thought,’ she says. ‘I thought it was all about what you put in. It’s not. I realised it the day I had him: I looked at this tiny baby and I thought, “Oh my goodness, you’re Sonny, and now I’ve got to help you show me who you are and what you need from me.”’

To raise five children while continually working is no mean feat, and she mentions that there were tense moments during lockdown. But she and Richard clearly make a good team. ‘I guess the thing that’s often not celebrated as much in long-term relationships – and I think this goes for family members, friends, all sorts of relationships where there’s love – is that we actually really like each other,’ she says. ‘I really like who Richard is, and I respect him and I like spending time with him.’

She took an extended break after Sonny came along, following a difficult birth. ‘But to be honest, the more babies I’ve had and the older I’ve got, the more confident I’ve become about what I can do around being pregnant and having kids,’ she says. ‘I’ve been better with the last couple at just keeping going with the work either side of it. I have a job where I can basically call the shots a bit. I’m very lucky with that and I totally exploit it. Also I like it if I do a big gig and I’m six months pregnant – I feel quite clever,’ she laughs.

The challenges of this complicated life have inspired Sophie’s new project – the podcast Spinning Plates, on which she chats to other working mums, including Caitlin Moran, Fearne Cotton, the mummy blogger Candice Brathwaite, and her own mother Janet. ‘I’ve got such a brilliant array of women, and honestly it feels like a privilege to sit there for an hour and ask them loads of nosy stuff,’ she says. ‘Obviously the springboard is the idea of the working mother, but actually what really unites us is we’re all women, and there are so many things about being a modern woman… It’s a rich pot of stuff to go through, really.’

She loved having the chance to interview her mum. ‘In my head she’s always been this real trailblazer and very confident. She never seemed to have any guilt with any of her work, and I’m glad, because it gave me a good role model of “It’s OK for me to be selfish enough to have my work and keep it separate if I want to, and do the things I want to do.” I don’t think I would have been confident enough if I hadn’t had a mum like that; I’ve struggled a bit to give myself permission sometimes even with that.’

Another chat, with Yvonne Telford, founder of the fashion brand Kemi Telford, made her realise that at times she’s too self-critical. ‘She said she hates it when she hears women say, “Oh, I’m such an idiot,” and I was, like, “God, I do that all the time.” Even with the podcast, when I first started writing to people I wanted as guests, I’d say, “Don’t worry, I know how it goes – you’re probably too busy to reply.” Then I was, like, what am I doing? I’m saying to them, “Ignore me!”’ She bursts out laughing. It sounds as though making the podcast might be rather empowering. ‘Yes,’ she agrees.

[ktrsss1fics]

i got u: one.

i. gap

Fearne Phillips was a bitch.

That’s what the guy who hit on her last Christmas at a sweets shop in Surrey said when she wouldn’t give him her number.

That’s what Simon Elliott cried when she broke his arm for calling her best friend fat.

That’s what the media thought when she refused to speak about why her relationship with Louis Tomlinson had ended.

That’s what Jessica from Teen Scene Magazine was currently thinking when she refused to give young girls tips on how to seduce men.

Fearne Phillips was one of a kind. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. If she was uncomfortable, she was going to let you know. Most people called her reckless for it. Others called her iconic. She didn’t see herself as either of those things.

She saw herself as one thing: tired. Tired of having to be perfect. Tired of having to be prim and proper. Tired of being told what the projected sales and media trends would be if she acted a certain way. She just wanted to be Fearne.

She wouldn’t get to be that for another month. She had a few more festivals to get through before she had an entire year off. She couldn’t believe it.

Fearne had signed a record deal at eighteen and essentially grew up in the spotlight. They saw her through the good, the bad, and the ugly. That decade of stardom had its ups and downs. The worst of it was five years ago when things started to go south with the love of her life.

Sometimes things don’t always work out according to plan. That job at that high profile modeling agency is less about fashion and more about having the ability to memorize multiple coffee orders.  That asymmetrical bob that looked adorable on the girl on the train somehow got turned into a shaggy looking bowl cut. That attractive guy from accounting who said he was actually going to call doesn’t end up calling.

Long distance relationships are one of those things that don’t always work out as they should. Three little words are whispered through telephone lines instead of being said face to face. Beds are shared with computer screens instead of warm bodies. Feelings of contentment are replaced by worry and doubt.

Relationships become plagued with catastrophic fights about minuscule things. Calls start to get shorter and text messages begin to stop. That feeling of love once shared starts to dwindle down to nothing.

A type of exhaustion sets in that never can be satisfied. It doesn’t go away with a weekend in bed or trip back home. It settles. It latches onto every fiber and festers until it’s too late. The mind, body, and soul become infected and a monster is created. Once it’s released, there is no hope for humanity.

Fearne Phillips and Louis Tomlinson knew that monster too well. It’s what started to transform after four long years of a relationship on the road. She was never home and he could never get away.  The lack of affection and time spent together took its toll on the young couple. Before they knew it, it was over.

It didn’t just end though. It blew up. It was plastered over every tabloid magazine in the country. It was broadcasted on the morning news. It was all over the Internet for her to relive day in and day out.

That first year was the hardest. She lost herself completely. She broke his heart and she could never forgive herself for it. Why? Because Louis Tomlinson was the greatest man she had ever met and he didn’t deserve what she put him through. He deserved better and always would.

As time moved on, the only things she could rely on to keep her from falling apart again were her friends and her job. Her soul sister, Samantha Jane, fought off any man who tried to get close to her while her manager, Declan, did his best to keep her focused on her music. Her older brother, Archie, was just along for the ride. When the going got tough, he stepped in and nursed his baby sister back to health. She didn’t know what she’d do without them.

Every year, she found a way to repay them for putting up with her. This year she managed to get them VIP passes to a handful of festivals throughout the UK. They were currently attending the Glastonbury Festival. Well, Samantha Jane and Archie were attending the festival. Fearne was on the clock. She had been tucked away in an oversized tent answering the same five questions for various media publications. She wouldn’t get to join them until after her set.

Declan did his best to keep her happy but she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone else. She needed a recharge. The last one did her head in.

“I’m not doin’ another one.” Fearne looked over at the bearded man beside her. “I’m done.”

“I’m takin’ care of it,” Declan said — thumbs flying as he typed away on his phone. “Got her editor’s number. She’s a friend of Jimmy.”

“That was just bull shit.” She said. “I didn’t overreact, did I?”

“Shite reporting.” Declan glances up. “If you were a twenty-eight-year-old lad, you’d be labeled a legend... absolutely killing it.”

“Right?” Fearne ran her hands over her face. “Made me come off as a proper slag. I don’t even know any of those men. Would you want your niece to read an article where her favorite celebrity tells her how to sleep around with men? I know I wouldn’t.”

“I’ll take care of it, Fearnie. Don’t worry pet.” Declan winked. “Now head toward the end of the tent.”

“I’m not doing another interview.” She sighed looking up at him. “I will punch someone.”

“It’s with Radio 1,” Declan explained. “Probably with Scott who you haven’t seen in ages. He won’t do anything to harm ya.”

Fearne thought about it for a moment. “ I do like Scott.”

“And you won’t punch him because he’s a good man. You’ll be fine.” Declan said urging her to start walking.

“I just want to clarify that I wouldn’t be upset if she hadn’t been so rude. Young women should know how to navigate the dating world but they shouldn’t be treated as if their only important role in life is to be a side piece for a man.”

“Yeah, yeah all that feminist shite,” Declan mumbled dryly.

Fearne shoved him playfully. “Fuck right off, Declan Jay.”

“Easy there, Pip Squeak.” He said stabilizing himself.

“I just don’t like people who make female celebrities out to be tarts because they’ve got male friends. I’m more than that.” She sighed.

“You do know you don’t need the validation of some teenage tabloid, right? You’re Fearne motherfucking Phillips.” Declan said with a cheesy grin. “The girl who nearly got kicked of secondary school for getting her nose pierced. The girl who sold out the O2 four nights in a row during her first arena tour. The girl who outlasted every single guy on Lads on Tour last summer.”

He continued, “Lionesses like you shouldn’t worry about sheep like her.”

Fearne opened her mouth to say something but decided to walk away instead. Sometimes that man knew exactly what to say to help her refocus. She decided to give him what he wanted. She made her way towards the northern end of the tent to a table dedicated to the BBC’s finest radio station. Declan started to ramble on about how lovely women were in hopes of making her feel better. He didn’t need to say anything but she appreciated that he had.

“Fuck.”

Declan stopped abruptly leaving the woman standing beside him confused. Without saying another word, the six-foot-tall man wedged his body between her and their destination.

“What the fuck, Deco?” Fearne asked.

“Mental health check.” He said crossing his arms over his chest. “0-10, how we doin?”

“I’m fine.” She said not understanding his sudden change in mood.

“That’s not a number.” Declan sighed.

“Why? What’d you see?” Fearne asked attempting to look over his shoulder.

“Just want to make sure me girl is fine after that last one,” Declan explained. “Have you calmed down a bit?”

“Oh, I’m still annoyed but —“ Fearne said standing on the tips of her toes trying to look over his shoulder.

“Need a number Fearnie.” He said calmly.

“Bout a six.” She said knowing that anything lower would set off the alarm bells.

“Good.” He nodded before handing over her phone. “Text Arch and SJ bout what they’re up to now, yeah?”

Fearne smiled swiping her cell phone from his hand.

“Promise you’re gonna stay at a six no matter what happens?” Declan asked.

“I’ll try me best,” Fearne said, eyes glued to her phone. “Don’t know what you’re so worried about Deco.”

“Horan’s here,” Declan said relaxing a bit.

“When is he ever not here? He loves this festival.” Fearne said smirking at something her best friend had sent. “Where’d ya see him?”

Declan nodded behind him. “At the Booth.”

Fearne looked up. “He is the most efficient producer at the BBC so that makes sense.”

“You’re going to have to speak to him,” Declan said. “Still gonna be a six?”

“Niall Horan is a ray of sunshine,” Fearne said still not getting what the big deal was. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Fearnie, I need you to —“ Declan started to say.

“Give me five more minutes with Samantha Jane and I’ll do whatever you want. Okay? You go check in or whatever it is you do and I’ll be your perfect pop star.” She said with a weak smile.

Declan didn’t respond. He turned around and headed toward the makeshift radio studio. He was on edge. Niall Horan was a legend. He always brought the party wherever he went. He also was the sole producer of the show Fearne’s ex-boyfriend hosted. The two were rarely seen without each other — especially during festival season.

Before he had a chance to scope out who was working, a firm hand latched onto Declan’s shoulder. He turned around to find a dark-haired Irishman smiling back at him.

“Well look who the fuck it is.” Niall’s thick Irish accent called out.

“Are you ever not working?” Declan joked as he pulled his old friend into a hug.

“You should know I’d never miss out on the Bury, Deco,” Niall said with a laugh.

The two friends briefly caught up as arrangements were made for the interview. Stories about touring and family members were shared between the men. The reason they were connected was carefully being avoided. Declan knew he needed to bring it up but was worried about the answer.

“So um, is he here?” Declan said in a low voice.

“Yeah but he’s not doing the interview. I uh made sure of it. It’s Matt.” Niall said softly. “How’s she doing?”

“Just came out of a rough one so I need something to cheer her up,” Declan said glancing over at Fearne.

“The lads went to the loo so it’ll be a bit but we’ll take care of our girl.” Niall smiled. “Don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Ni.” Declan nodded.

“Just looking out for both of ‘em,” Niall said.

“Fearne,” Declan called out.

Fearne looked up from her phone and found two sets of eyes watching her closely. She put a brave face on and headed towards them. One more interview to go and she’d be free. One more interview with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and she’d be free. She could do it. She knew she could.

“Fearne Phillips, who’d ya sell your soul to because you haven’t aged a day, love,”  Niall said with a smirk.

“If I told ya, I’d have to kill ya,” Fearne said stepping into his warm embrace.

“I can’t believe this motherfucker is still your minder. Would have ditched him ages ago.” Niall said as he squeezed her tight.

“Ehh, I’ve grown quite fond of him,” Fearne said with a smile. “Lets me do whatever I want.”

“Oh, I believe that.” He smiled.

Fearne stepped back, “I like the hair change. Suits you.”

“Makes me more distinguished,” Niall said before leaning in close. “All the birds are into it.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Haven’t changed a bit, Ni.”

“I have to get shit ready so why don’t you take a seat on the ol’ sofa and I’ll let you know when we’re all queued up.” He said with a wink.

Fearne looked over to find a lumpy old couch with two teal pillows sitting across from a makeshift soundboard. Heat rushed to her cheeks. She had some very fond memories from a couch that looked almost identical to the one staring back at her.

“Ni is this —-“ Fearne started to ask.

“Fuck no.” Niall cackled. “We got rid of it after um that.”

“Oh… well, it wasn’t that comfortable anyways.” She said shyly.

“He begs to differ,” Niall said with a smirk.

“How’s he doing?” Fearne asked — surprised at the words that had just come out. She didn’t know whether she was being polite or if she genuinely cared. She hadn’t thought about him in a while.

Declan and Niall looked just as surprised as she did.

“Still the same pain in the ass we know and love,” Niall said with a small smile.

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” She smiled going back to the messages on her phone. She needed to prevent herself from saying anything else unexpected.

Fearne Phillips hadn’t thought about Louis in about a year. She’d see his face when certain songs would come on the radio. She’d hear his laugh when certain jokes were told. But she hadn’t seriously thought about the man she had loved in quite some time. She did wonder how he was but never intended on asking about him. She wasn’t the type to fawn over exes. After the breakup, she would move on as quickly as she could. Louis was different though. He was her best friend.

Seeing Niall was a great reminder of those days.

She was in the middle of explaining what had happened to her brother and best friend when she noticed a group form at the table across from her. Hushed voices were talking quickly. Something was wrong but she wasn’t going to let it get to her. She promised Declan she would stay at a six and that was one promise she couldn’t afford to break.

Her phone started to blow up as her two favorite people started weighing in on the situation at hand. She knew she could count on them to keep her distracted and that’s exactly what they did.

“Now then, let’s get this show on the road, Phillips.” A voice called out pulling her away from the conversation on her phone.

As she looked up, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Standing in front of her in a pair of muddy wellies was a man she hadn’t spoken to in ages. A man she dedicated two entire albums and an endless amount of notebooks to. A man whose face was now covered in facial hair and laughter lines. A man she had truly missed.

“Tommo,” She beamed taking her in ex-boyfriend’s appearance. “What the fuck are you wearin’ mate?”

“What?” The young man asked looking down at his outfit. “I look goddamn sexy, Phillips.”

Fearne shook her head standing up. “Look like you should be helping me nan with her back garden.”

“Oh fuck you.” Louis chuckled before pulling her into his arms for a hug. Her body effortlessly molded into the places that used to be called home. Everyone around them stood with bated breath unsure of how this interaction was going to turn out.

“Are you giving the interview then?” Fearne asked forcing herself to let go of his body.

Louis fought through a fake smile. “Unfortunately.”

Her hazel eyes lit up. “This is going to be brilliant.”

Something about the way she spoke caught Louis’ attention. She seemed tired and on edge. It had been a while but that man knew her better than anyone else. His eyes scanned her face for answers but fell short.

“Whatcha lookin’ at punk?” She said narrowing her eyes at him playfully.

He shook his head before stepping in close, “Y’alright?”

“I’m fab Lou.” She faked a smile. He didn’t buy it. Before he could dig a little deeper, papers were shoved in his face as a camera was slowly being set up.

Work was to be done.

Louis slid into the spot beside her on the couch. He rested his elbows on the tops of his legs as he studied the list of questions he was supposed to be asking. Fearne studied his face. She almost couldn’t believe it. His boyish features were no longer present. A week’s worth of stubble and some late nights in the studio had left him looking much older.

As he looked up to ask Niall a question, Fearne got a glimpse of his baby blue eyes. They were just as warm and inviting as they used to be but something was a bit off. She knew the look in his eyes all too well. It was the same look he had when he met her dad for the first time. It was the look he had on their first weekend away together. It was the same look he had the night he told her he loved her.

Despite his efforts to try to play it cool, there was no denying he was nervous.

Hoping to remedy the situation, Fearne nudged his leg gently with her own. His eyes left the commotion surrounding them and focused on her.  

“See anyone play yet?” She asked with an inviting smile.  

He knew what she was trying to do. He appreciated it. A wave of nerves had hit him when Matt said he couldn’t do the interview. He didn’t think he could do it either.

Fearne Phillips wasn’t just another musician at a festival that he needed to interview. She was his greatest love story. Every memory from his twenties had her in it. He didn’t need to fall in love ever again because nothing could compare to the time he spent with her.

Once they split, those memories were too much to handle. Her music disappeared from his show. Her albums sat on his shelf unopened. He couldn’t bring himself to be around things that reminded him of her. He wasn’t strong enough.

Seeing her after all this time was unlike anything he had ever imagined. His pulse began to race, butterflies took flight, and every day spent missing her seemed worth it.

“I went with Fiona and Jack to see Cage earlier and I saw a bit of Cold War Kids but that’s it.” He said putting on a fake smile. “What about you?”

“I’ve been stuck in here all morning.” She said sounding disappointed. “Probably won’t see anyone until after I get off stage.”

“You need to fire that minder of yours,” Louis said glancing over at Declan. “He’s overworking you.”

“Tell me about it.” She sighed.

“You sure you’re okay?” He said in a low voice.

Fearne raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“S’been a bit. Just nerves.” He grinned shyly.

“It’s just me, Lou,” Fearne said.

“Yeah, multi-platinum award-winning international superstar Fearne Phillips,” Louis said glancing down at his sheet of paper.

“Oh, you mean the same Fearne Phillips who can’t figure out how to build a fucking bookcase.” She said with a smirk.

His face lit up. “You still have it?”

“All me books are in piles on the floor. Samantha Jane nearly wrecks them every time she’s drunk.” Fearne admitted shyly. “The wood bits are under my bed. I’m convinced they didn’t put all the pieces in the box as a ploy to get me to buy another one.”

Louis bit back a smile. Three weeks after they met, Fearne bought a bookcase for the flat she shared with Samantha Jane. The girls were on an independence kick. They wanted to prove they could do things on their own. Samantha Jane orchestrated the completion of a bathroom remodel while Fearne focused on furniture. She got everything done but the bookcase.

One Friday night, he attempted to ask her out on a proper date but she asked if he wanted to come over instead. She rambled on about their new flat and her struggles with the furniture and how she couldn’t let her brother know she needed help. Without a second thought, Louis picked up a pizza and made his way over to help.

Things had been going well. He was already smitten and it hadn’t been that long. When they were almost finished, Louis realized he needed to figure out a way to continue seeing Fearne. Thinking on his feet, he slipped a piece of hardware into his pocket when she had left to get another beer from the kitchen. If it was missing, she couldn’t finish the job. If she couldn’t finish the job, he figured she’d be in need of his help once more.

Five years and one hell of a ride later, that piece of hardware was still buried in the drawer of his bedside table.

“Why not throw it out?” Louis asked genuinely curious as to why she kept it. He had asked himself the same question plenty of times. There was never a good enough reason to do so.

Fearne just shrugged. “Stubborn, I guess.”

“Fuckin’ Northerners.” He shook his head.

“They’re the worst.” She smiled. “Right?”

Louis laughed. “The fucking worst. All about their footie and Oasis.”

Her eyes lit up causing a smirk to form on his face. “You shut your bastard mouth, Tomlinson.”

“Oi love birds, we’ve got bad news.” Niall interrupted. “The camera isn’t working so it’s only audio.”

“Not a problem,” Fearne replied. “No one really needs to see my manky ol’ wellies anyways.”

“What she really means is her manky ol’ mug.” Louis popped off playfully.

Fearne glared at the man sitting across from her. “Like you should be talking, garden gnome.”

His mouth hung open in shock as she giggled to herself. Before he could defend his wardrobe choice, he was forced to get the interview started. He shot her a glare before clearing his throat and testing the microphone.

“Testing, testing. Tommo’s about to interview the biggest brat at Glastonbury.” He enunciated.

“How very dare you.” Fearne glared making the boys around her laugh.

Getting the all clear from Niall, Louis cleared his throat and went into interviewer mode.

“We are at the Glastonbury Festival with the ever so lovely Fearne Phillips,” Louis said as his crew cheered.

“Oi oi,” Fearne replied with a genuine smile on her face.

“You’ve got to talk into the microphone, love.” Louis teased. “S’not like you been doin’ this all morning.”

Her face lit up at his jesting. A playful glare and bare middle finger made their way into the interview.

“Anyways, y’alright Fearnie?” He asked with a smile.

“Doin’ just fine Lou.” She replied with a nod. “You?”

“Couldn’t be better.” He blushed. “How’s the festival been treatin’ ya so far?”

“So far so good. Nothing beats festival season if you ask me.”

“I hear that.” He laughed. “This year’s lineup is pretty ace and I’m told that’s why it sold out in a matter of minutes. Anyone you’re looking forward to seeing?”

“The  highlights so far have definitely been The Wombats and Wiley.” She said adjusting the microphone in her hand. “Today will probably be The Kooks if I can make it happen.”

His eyes locked with hers. That was their band. The first band they saw together. The band that constantly crept in and out of their relationship. They couldn’t listen to a song without thinking of each other.

“Think they’re gonna pay ‘Gap’?” He asked with a smirk.

Fearne rolled her eyes. Every single time they saw The Kooks play, Louis made a bet on whether or not they’d play his favorite song. The reward always changed but his side never did. Unfortunately, he was always wrong.

“Mate, come off it. You’re never gonna hear ‘em play ‘Gap’ live.” She said with a grin. “Just not meant to be.”

“I think it’ll happen. So, what’s on the setlist for you today? Anything off the new album? Or are we sticking to the classics?” He said smoothly navigating the conservation in another direction.

“Um, well it’s a bit of both. A few oldies might make their way back on stage. A lot from the album we just toured with.” She said trying to picture the list of songs she had decided on. “I actually have a brand new song that I was hoping to test out.”

“Oh my days, you heard it here folks. Everyone at Glastonbury is going to get a Fearne Phillips exclusive.” He teased. “Is this the first time it’s going to be heard by virgin ears?”

“I mean my brother has heard it at least twenty times so…”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think he’ll appreciate that one. Arch, I’ll make sure Ni edits that out for ya, mate.”

“I’ve had to endure his obnoxious snoring for the past three days. He can handle some teasing — it’s the least he could do.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Arch is here?” He asked sounding surprised.

Fearne shook her head, “I should not have told you that.”

Louis’ eyes crinkled as a knowing smile took form. The bromance that had formed between him and Fearne’s brother was unlike any other. Whenever they were together chaos ensued. They had tried to keep in touch after the break-up but it was too difficult.

“Um, I think it’s time to wrap this up, Fearnie. Another Phillips needs to my attention.” Louis said with a playful wink.

“He’ll be going on about that for weeks.” Fearne laughed.

“Good.” He grinned. “We all know you are a veteran of the festival. What are some tips and tricks you’ve learned through the years that some of us more novice attendees should know?”

“I’m amused that you consider yourself a novice, but um make sure you stay hydrated throughout the day. Come with a group you won’t get angry with after five minutes of being with them.” Fearne said trying to think of advice she’d want to hear. “Keep a list of set times and emergency contacts accessible at all times.”

Louis opened his mouth but she quickly cut him off.

“Oh, and don’t take an open bevvy from anyone you don’t know!” She rattled off quickly.

His eyes crinkled as he bit back a smile. She hadn’t changed a bit. Before he could tease her for her maternal instincts, a hand signal was given meaning he needed to move a little quicker. He started asking questions sent in by fans. Before the pair of exes knew it, the interview was over.

“That’s a wrap,” Niall said leaning over the portable soundboard. “Well done.”

“What’s next for you?” Louis asked as a couple of interns started to gather up the microphones.

“More bull shit.” She mumbled leaning forward. “That I really don’t want to do.”

“Why haven’t you fired him?” Louis said his voice low and concerned. “He always does this to you.”

“He’s been me best mate for ages. It’s not all his fault. The team expects the moon.”

Louis shook his head. She really hadn’t changed. She was still the same girl who worked too hard for people who could care less. She was constantly being thrown in a thousand directions and never got a chance to take a break.

“Interview before you wanted me to give teenage girls advice on how to pick up men.” She said sounding glum. “Said nothing about my foundation or charity work. Nothing about how my profits for the last two tours went to music education and girls’ clubs throughout the UK.”

She turned towards him. “You were photographed with this man, this man, and this man. How’d you get them in the sack, Fearne? Give our readers a tutorial on how to lure babes in.”

“I’m fucking tired, Tommo.” She sighed. “Same ol’ shit.”

The exhaustion in her voice ripped him apart.

He reached over to comfort her but stopped halfway. He didn’t know if he should. That wasn’t his job anymore. He wasn’t her protector or confidante. He was the one who threw in the towel when things got rough. He was the one who left her in a hotel room in New York because he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t be in a relationship with an empty bed relying heavily on FaceTime calls and red-eye flights.

He couldn’t be the man she needed and that killed him.

Louis knew he needed to say something though. The look on her face was a look he had seen on more than one occasion. He knew she needed to know that someone was in her corner — that someone was proud of her. However, he didn’t know how much merit he held when it came to Fearne Phillips Fan Club.

He opened his mouth to say something but Declan snagged her attention away. He rambled on about potentially squeezing one more interview in. Fearne tried to argue but her manager wasn’t having it. It’s what the team wanted. His phone started to ring putting a pause in the conversation.

“Have you eaten?” Louis asked pulling her attention away from the situation that was taking place.

She shook her head. “I’m supposed to meet up with SJ and Arch after this.”

“Don’t let him make you do anything else without eating.” He said softly. “The mini shepherd's pies at the booth by the toilets are just like the ones back home. I highly recommend them.”

“I really just want chips. Do they have them?” She asked sounding hopeful.

“Yeah pretty decent too —especially with a pint.”

“Can’t have one of those yet. Still on duty.” Fearne groaned.

“Same here.” Louis smiled.

“What’s on the books for the rest of the day?” She asked trying to take the attention off her.

“A few more interviews and then just chillin’.” He said making her smile.

“You seriously have the life, mate,” Fearne said.

“Best job in the world.” He winked.

“Tell me about it.” She said with a grin.

“What times your set today?” He asked cautiously.

“Five,” Fearne said mid-yawn. “Or so I’m told.”

“Excited for it?” Louis asked.

“Are you always in interview mode?” Niall asked walking by. “Give the girl a break.”

“Yeah, give the girl a break.” Fearne laughed leaning back against the couch.

“Fuck off.” Louis blushed. “Both of ya.”

The pair of adults sat quietly for a few moments watching people work around them. Declan stood off to the side with his phone pressed to his ear. Niall was glued to his laptop trying to fix some kind of recording issue.

“Arch is going to be so happy to see you,” Fearne said.

“Missed that man,” Louis said turning towards her.

Fearne yawned again. “Think Deco will notice if I slip away for a quick snooze?”

“Ehh I’d give him about fifteen minutes before he actually notices,” Louis said leaning against the back of the couch. “I’ll create a diversion for you.”

“You’re the real MVP, Lou.” Fearne smiled.

“Kooks are on at seven, yeah?” He asked with a yawn.

“Uh, I think so.” She yawned back before closing her eyes.

“You really don’t think they are gonna play ‘Gap’?” Louis asked watching her face. She was even more gorgeous than he remembered.

“When have they ever?” She replied.

He scanned her face once more before responding, “You never know anything could happen.”

“Fearne, we have to — shit… is she asleep?” Declan’s voice called out from in front of them.

“Come back in twenty and she’ll be ready to go,” Louis said taking his eyes off the woman beside her.

“Fearne, we have to go. Russell wants a quick word.” Declan said walking towards the couch.

“Tell Russell he can fuck off,” Fearne replied dryly.

“He writes my checks so I can’t do that,” Declan said as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

“Actually, mate, she’s the one who writes your checks.” Louis nodded towards Fearne. “Without this one, you lot wouldn’t have jobs.”

A small smile formed on Fearne’s face as she opened one eye to look at the man sitting beside her. If there was one thing she loved about Louis Tomlinson, it was his ability to stick up for the people he cared about. No matter what the circumstances where, if you meant something to him, he’d have your back for life. It was nice to see that despite everything that had happened between them, when it came down to it, he still cared.

“Easy there, Lou. We all know how this fight ends.” Fearne said patting him on the leg.

“Still doesn’t make it right.” He mumbled shyly.

“We need to go,” Declan said ignoring whatever moment was being shared.

“I’m not doing anything until I get food,” Fearne said as she stood up. A smug smirk formed on Louis’ face. He always liked when she took his advice and stood up for herself.

“We have to talk to —“ Declan started to say.

“Fuck Russell. I’m starving.” She said placing her hands on her hips. “I’m eating with my brother and SJ. Fuck I’ll even take eating with Tommo and Ni. I need food.”

“Diva,” Declan mumbled as he pulled out his phone to send a quick update to her team.

“Up for some grub?” Fearne asked nodding at Louis.

“You American now?” Louis teased making her blush.

“Lived in LA for a month and she thinks she’s a Yank.” Declan joked — eyes never leaving his phone.

Louis laughed at the light jesting.

“Fuck you,” Fearne mumbled shyly.

“Tommo, we are about twenty minutes out for the next one,” Niall called over to him.

“So that’s a no on food,” Fearne said with a weak smile.

“Kooks at seven?” Louis asked as he stood up.

“If I can make it, yeah,” Fearne said leaning in for the hug.

“Brilliant,” Louis said as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Good to see you, Lou.” She whispered in his ear.

“You too, Fearnie,” Louis whispered back.

And like that, she was gone.

Louis stood quietly as his mind attempted to process what had just happened.

Niall walked over and closed the space between them. He patted Louis’ side gently. “Talk to me.”

“Did that really just happen?” Louis asked — his voice low and full of disbelief.

“It’s just Fearnie,” Niall said. “You can breathe now.”

Louis exhaled loudly as he turned towards his best friend. They had talked about this moment hypothetically on weekends away and drunken nights out. Never in a million years had he anticipated running into her again. He had made a point to avoid her at all costs. He just couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her after everything that happened. It hurt too much.

“You did good.” Niall smiled. “Take a ten and call Mum, yeah?”

“She’s in the middle of the lunch rush at the diner,” Louis said checking the time on his phone. “And besides, a woman like Fearne Phillips deserves more than a ten-minute analysis with Sadie.”

“Okay,” Niall said gnawing on his lower lip. “Um, tell me what you need. A break? A pint?”

“I-I-I don’t know,” Louis stuttered not sure what he needed to do to get his heart to stop pounding. He cleared his throat and looked around the tent. “Let’s just go on with the show and deal with it later.”

“Lou--” Niall sighed.

Louis faked a smile and patted his best friend on the stomach. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”

“Fuck, Tommo. We don’t need a repeat of--” Niall started to say as Louis placed a hand on the Irishman’s shoulder.

“S’not gonna be like last time,” Louis said unconvincingly. “Let’s just uh focus on the next interview.”

“Alright.” Niall sighed. “If you need a minute, you have to tell me.”

“Ni, fuck off.” Louis smiled. “I’m good.”

But Louis Tomlinson wasn’t good. His body went into autopilot for the rest of the evening. Cheeky banter, a flirtatious wink, and his outspoken behavior were thrown into each remaining interviews. The show went on as usual.

Louis Tomlinson’s mind, however, was nowhere near the musical festival. It was grounded at Customs at Heathrow the day things ended. It danced around that chippery in Brighton they went to in the summer. It flew across the States making pit stops in Denial and Despair. It sat on his mum’s couch as she laid into him for giving up so easily. It froze when it remembered the way she would stare at him when he told a story — as if she’d never heard anything like it. It stressed over what he was to do next.

Did he call his mother? Did he get drunk and try to forget the woman who was unforgettable? Or did he give in to his desires and watch her play for the first time in ages?

Because that’s really what he wanted to do. As soon as she walked away, he wanted to be beside her. He wanted to hear her sing and watch her perform. He wanted to make her laugh and have her call him a bastard when the tiniest things inconvenienced her. He wanted so many things that he hadn’t wanted in years and that was terrifying.

Louis couldn’t believe what he was about to witness. It took three pints and two shepherd’s pies to convince himself to walk across the venue to stand side stage for one of the biggest acts in all of England. He was hoping the liquid courage would get him through the songs he knew were about him and the ones he hadn’t heard yet.

“You sure about this, Lou?” Niall asked as they claimed their spot.

Louis laughed nervously, “Not in the slightest.”

“We can uh go hang around until it’s time for The Kooks.” Niall offered knowing this was a big step for his best friend.

The drum kits were being switched out as the crowd started to grow in size. The two men shuffled out of the way as crew members worked as quickly as they could to get things ready.

“I am at a music festival and ‘ve barely seen anyone play. Can we please just watch a set?” Louis groaned annoyed.

“We can go pick another one,” Niall said. “I’m sure some indie group is playing across the way.”

“You knew as soon as I saw her I was going to be drawn in again,” Louis said. “Haven’t listened to her sing in five years. First thing I thought of when she walked away was that I’m going to see her set today. Don’t know what it is about her, Ni, but I have to be here.”

Niall nodded knowing it was inevitable. Once Louis set his mind on something he rarely changed it. “Can you give me a signal if it gets to be too much?”

“God, you sound just like Liv.” Louis laughed thinking of his sister.

“Why’s that?” Niall asked confused.

“Ever since she was twelve, Olivia decided she needed to look after her big brother,” Louis explained. “Mum was busy with the diner. Dad was non-existent. When I’d come home from uni, I’d try to make sure things were in order around the house. Liv would always try to take care of me.”

“On my first Fearneless Christmas, we went to me Uncle Tim’s house. I drove Liv while Mum drove the others. She was going to stay at Aunt Margie’s while me and the girls headed down to Dad’s.” Louis continued. “No one really said anything but they were keeping an eye on me. Liv told me that if I needed a break to come squeeze her elbow and she’d intervene.”

“She’s a smart kid.” Niall smiled. “How’d that turn out for you?”

“Pop and Gran knew better to bring it up. Aunt Margie gave me a little cuddle when we finally went inside. Fuckin’ Uncle Tim and his twat of a girlfriend were only concerned with what I was going to sell to the media about the relationship. ‘Did Fearne do this? Did Fearne do that?’ Absolute bull shit.”

“It didn’t get to me until his girlfriend’s daughter started to slag her off. It took one squeeze and Liv was making an excuse to get us both outside. She stole me keys and drove us to a park nearby. I cried in the passenger seat and she just let me. She didn’t try to make things better. She didn’t try to change the subject. She just let me know it was going to get better.”

Niall couldn’t help but smile at the heartwarming story. The bond between Louis and his siblings was truly one of a kind.

“She’s gonna flip when she hears about how today went,” Louis said with a soft smile.

Guitars were being brought in and an ancient looking rug was being placed center stage.

“How bad are the songs?” Louis asked in a hushed tone.

“Nothing you can’t handle,” Niall said. “We still haven’t talked about earlier.”

“Can’t we just debrief tomorrow morning like we do every festival?” Louis asked rolling his eyes — not wanting to have analyze everything that had happened earlier in the day.

“This isn’t like every festival.” Niall pointed out.

“I survived the interview. I can survive the set.” Louis said trying to convince himself more than anything.

“You sure about that Tomlinson?” The voice of a woman he never thought he’d run into again said from beside him.

Standing in all her glory was Fearne's best friend, Samantha Jane Wilkinson.

“Sammy J!” Niall cheered as he made his way towards the tall blonde. “Lookin’ good babes.”

“You are like a fine wine, Horan.” The woman said kissing his cheek. “Better with age.”

Niall Horan’s infamous laugh filled the air as she moved towards Louis. Without saying a word, she pulled him into a hug. He placed a brief kiss on her cheek before saying hello.

“So Tommo, who the fuck did you bribe at the BBC to get that interview with Fearnie earlier?” She asked as she pulled away.

“No one,” Louis said feeling his chest grow tight. He knew how her mind worked and he couldn’t say that he had missed it.

Samantha Jane had always been overprotective of Fearne and wary of anyone who got too close. Her brash and boisterous attitude constantly clashed with Louis’ causing a love-hate relationship to form between the two.

“Really?” Samantha Jane asked unimpressed.

“Matt had some dodgy meat and is still shitting his brains out as we speak,” Louis explained.

“Right.” She replied dryly.

“Go check the loo for yourself,” Niall said trying to help Louis out. “I had it planned so they’d never see each other.”

“So it was fate, then?” Samantha Jane tilted her head. “Interesting.”

“How ya been, babe?” Niall asked trying to change the subject. Louis didn’t need this kind of talk filling his already confused head.

“Fab. Just livin’ the life.” She smiled sadly. Both men took note of it. “How bout you guys?”

“Can’t complain. Living the dream every day.” Niall said rocking back on his heels.

“Just keepin’ busy,” Louis said.

“If you want to see Arch, he usually stands on the other side.” Samantha Jane pointed out.

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked turning his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Fearne’s older brother stood with a drink in his hand as he talked to a pair of blondes.

“Him and Fucktard don’t let me near them when she’s on stage.” She explained.

Louis turned towards her confused, “Why?”

“No idea.” Samantha Jane sighed. “It’s Declan’s doing. Apparently, I’m a distraction.”

“Why the fuck is that man still around?” Louis crossed his arms over chest.

“You know how she is.” The woman sighed as she settled into a spot beside him. “The team thinks he’s good at his job and we’ve been mates since we were in nappies so he’s here for good.”

“Fucking bull shit, if you ask me,” Louis mumbled.

“At least that’s something we still agree on.” She said.

A small huddle formed near the stairs leading up to the stage. Microphones were being checked while a sea of people waited anxiously for Fearne and her band to take the stage. Louis almost couldn’t believe his eyes at the size of the crowd that had formed. If there was anyone that deserved that kind of recognition, it was her.

Before he could get caught up in the insanity of it all, Louis felt someone nudge him. The blonde woman beside him moved a bit closer to him before speaking in a low tone.

“Don’t know what you did, Lou.” She said placing a hand on his shoulder. “She came back like a bloody schoolgirl.”

“I-I-I didn’t do anything.” Louis sputtered.

“She was giddy, mate. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen her genuinely happy.” Samantha Jane smiled.

“When you barely get any time off and are living out of a suitcase, I could see that bein’ true,” Louis said.

“She’s getting time off so it’ll be good for her.” She said.

“Until something pops up and she has to do it or Russell will be up her arse about it,” Louis said as he watched Declan appear across the stage.

“She needs new people around her but she won’t listen to me when I try to tell her.” Samantha Jane said sounding a bit disappointed. “I guess I did that to myself though.”

She cleared her throat hoping it would distract him from what she had said. “Anyways, I don’t know what today means or if this is going to be a reoccurring thing.”

Louis looked at her confused. “What are you on about?”

“She’s not as strong as she looks so if whatever this is going to be goes south again, you’re going to have to answer to me this time. Got it?” She stated with a bit of malice.

“Something has to happen before it can go south.” He shot back ignoring the thoughts in the back of his mind. He wasn’t going to go there. It was too soon.

“I know I’m jumping the gun but I can’t lose her again.” Samantha Jane said. “She’s all I’ve got.”

“Don’t worry, Sam. I wo—“ Louis started to say before he was drowned out by the screams of the crowd.

The fiery brunette who held a special place in his heart raced past him and took her place in the center of the stage.

“Glastonbury,” Fearne yelled out. “How the fuck are ya?”

A smug look formed on his face. She hadn’t changed a bit.

Samantha Jane leaned in and cupped her hand over his ear before she spoke. “Our girl has become one hell of a performer. You’re in for a treat.”

Samantha Jane was right. Fearne Phillips was one hell of a performer and Louis nearly regretted staying away from her music for the past few years. Her stage presence and artistry were truly one of a kind. She really was one of the greatest artists of their generation. Louis spent the entirety of her set absolutely buzzing. Music festivals were tough for him. It was a lot of work and very little play so when he got the opportunity to see a set he tried to make it count.

Oddly enough, watching his ex-girlfriend sing songs about him and their past had proven to be worth it. He followed Niall down the stairs as crew members rushed past them to start taking things down. Samantha Jane followed behind him typing away on her phone.

Niall opened his mouth to ask what was going to happen next but the leggy blonde in the back beat him to it.

“You lot stayin’ for Kooks?” Samantha Jane asked looking between the pair of men.

“Uh, yeah,” Louis responded without missing a beat.

Niall shot him a concerned look but Louis dismissed it.

“Boss Lady wants us to head over there and she’ll meet us there. That alright with you, Ni?” She asked focusing back on her phone.

Niall looked at Louis. “You sure bout this?”

“He survived the interview and the set. Tommo can do anythin’.” Samantha Jane teased.

“Oh fuck off,” Louis said with a laugh.

“Arch will be absolutely chuffed to see ya both.” She smiled slipping her phone into her bag. “Glad you said yes. Boss Lady wasn’t gonna let me walk by meself anyways.”

“She runs a tight ship.” Niall joked.

“You have no fucking idea.” She rolled her eyes.

The group of adults made their way out of the backstage area and onto the festival grounds. They had thirty minutes to walk across the field, reunite with their friends, and claim their spot.

As they reached their designated meet spot, Niall and Louis shared a look that was usually reserved for “on the air” moments. It was a way for Niall to check in on Louis without drawing other people’s attention. He signed that he was good allowing the Irishman to take a sigh of relief.

“So Nialler, gotta life or death question for ya. Are you single or what?” Samantha Jane asked.

“Why? You down?” Niall smirked causing a pretty serious blush to form on the young woman’s cheeks.

“She’d eat you alive, mate,” Louis said shaking his head.

Samantha Jane tilted her head to the side. “He could handle it.”

Niall shifted on his feet not realizing how much damage a gaze from Samantha Jane Wilkinson could cause.

“He’s my baby. You’d destroy him.” Louis said glancing over at his best friend. “Can’t be havin’ that.”

“I thought you were trying to get with Declan,” Niall asked finally finding his voice.

“No. He tried it on with me.” Samantha Jane said. “And then Fearnie but uh that didn’t go over too well.”

Louis stayed quiet. He always had a feeling that Declan was a bit smitten with his missus but he could never prove it. Hearing he tried something with Fearne after they split wasn’t surprising in the slightest.

“That’s a story for another day.” Samantha Jane said before clearing her throat. “So, you lads seeing anyone?”

“Do you ever keep it in your pants, SJ?” Archie Phillips called out catching everyone’s attention.

“Like you should be talking.” Samantha Jane said rolling her eyes.

“Not my fault, ladies love me,” Archie said smugly. “Unlike you.”

“Arch, leave her alone,” Fearne said hitting her brother across the stomach.

“Yeah. Leave me alone.” Samantha Jane retorted childishly.

“As you get older, you think to yourself that maybe today will be the day when they grow out of it. That maybe this will be the moment of clarity they need.” Archie said looking around the group. “But then it hits you, they’ll never change.”

“They are always going to be annoying little sisters.” Archie winked at Louis.

“Little sisters really are the worst.” Louis laughed as he moved towards the man.

“Bring it in bruv.” Archie smiled with outstretched arms.

“It’s been too long.” Louis smiled as the two men embraced.

“Tell me about it. You’re almost an old man now.” Archie said making the others laugh.

“Like he should be talking.” Samantha Jane mumbled.

“Oi, watch it, Sammy.” Archie glared.

“How the fuck is City at the top of the table?” Louis asked stepping away from the man who was like an older brother to him.

“Because United doesn’t know how to play football.” Archie deadpanned making his sister laugh.

“Let’s not talk football.” Samantha Jane sighed.

“Just because you guys picked a shit team—“ Fearne started to say before Louis cut her off.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because at the moment you’re doin’ well for yourself doesn’t mean you can be all high n’ mighty, Phillips.” Louis teased.

She threw her hands up in defense. “Sorry, didn’t know it was a touchy subject for ya.”

Louis rolled his eyes while the people around him laughed.

“Question for ya though, how are the Donny Rovers doin’?” She smirked knowing his other football team wasn’t doing too well either.

“Oh fuck you.” He shook his head.

“That was a low blow, Fearnie.” Archie sighed. “That’s the man’s pride and joy right there.”

“Seems to me Louis doesn’t know how to pick a football team.” Fearne smiled making Louis blush.

“You have one good season and you think you’re hot shit.” Louis shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“How many times has United won the title since Fergie left?” She shot back making Niall laugh.

Louis attempted to defend himself but he couldn’t. A pleased look formed on his ex-girlfriend’s face.

“We’ve got all night to watch you twos flirt with each other. I need me a pint. Anyone else keen?” Archie teased.

Everyone in their small group had agreed that a pint (or two) was needed.

“I’ll go with you to get one,” Fearne said quickly.

“It’s okay. Deco and the Irish One can come with me.” Archie said thinking on his feet. Keeping his sister safe was a top priority and having her walk around in a crowd of festival-goers didn’t seem like a good idea.

“You sure about this?” Niall asked looking over at Louis.

“Yeah. What he said.” Fearne said giving her brother a confused look.

“SJ can play minder. Make sure everything goes smoothly. No more football talk until we get back. Sound good?” Archie said giving his sister a reassuring look.

“I don’t know if that’s smart,” Declan said moving closer to Fearne. “Maybe I should stay back too.”

Louis kept his eyes on Fearne’s face. She was not having it.

“It’s fine. Go with Arch.” Louis said stepping in. “We’ll behave. We’re adults now.”

“I’ll take care of your babies.” Samantha Jane said catching onto what Louis was trying to do.  “We’ll be good, yeah?”

“Alright, let’s go boys,” Archie said turning around.

With that, Fearne Phillips found herself alone with her best friend and her ex-boyfriend. It was such a weird feeling. She never thought she’d get this moment again. She turned to say something but Samantha Jane just shook her head.

“What?” Fearne asked confused.

“He’s got to go.” Samantha Jane said with a serious look on her face.

“Sam, I can’t—“ Fearne sighed knowing what she was referring to.

“At least tell Arch. He deserves to know.” Samantha Jane said.

“We can talk about this later,” Fearne said glancing at Louis shyly.

“He knows you can take care of things on your own so why was he was so keen to stay?” Samantha Jane pointed out.

“Because I’m here,” Louis said. “He’s always been a jealous twat.”

“But he’s good at his job,” Fearne said as if that were a good enough reason.

“You deserve better than that,” Louis said with a sad smile.

Fearne felt her cheeks grow warm. She knew Louis was right but he didn’t know the whole story. In an attempt to change the subject, Fearne cleared her throat and threw a fabricated smile on her face before looking between Louis and her best friend.“Guess what this twat asked me today during the interview?”

“If he fucking brought up ‘Gap’, I’m gonna lose it.” Samantha Jane said looking over at Louis.

“Still thinks they are gonna play it.” Fearne laughed making Louis blush.

“You never know,” Louis said defending himself. “Today’s been a wild card of a day. Anything could happen.”

“Okay, Ellie Goulding.” Samantha Jane said rolling her eyes.

“I bet — “ Louis started to say but Fearne’s laughter stopped him.

“Fuck, I’ve actually missed this.” Samantha Jane said amazed by her own words. “You just like losing, don’t ya Tommo?”

“They don’t play it, I’ll buy you a pint,” Louis said sticking out his hand for Fearne to shake. “If they do, you owe me.”

“You could have spiced things up a bit, Lou. That was like child’s play.” Samantha Jane added.

Ignoring her best friends commentary, Fearne reached out and shook his hand. She noticed his fingers lingered against hers longer than they should have. It was interesting.

“Since you two are gettin’ on quite well, mind if I bail? I see an eight with a beard makin’ heart eyes at me.” Samantha Jane said nodding a guy standing nearby.

“Keep your phone on,” Fearne said looking over her shoulder at the group of people the stranger belonged to.

“Yes, Mum.” Samantha Jane said adjusting her top.

“No drugs,” Fearne said sternly.

“Yeah, yeah.” She said slipping her phone into her bag.

“I’m being serious SJ,” Fearne said grabbing onto her friend’s hand.

Samantha Jane looked her in the eye. “ No drugs. I promise.”

“Have fun.” Fearne nodded.

The blonde leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her cheek before disappearing into the crowd.

“I can send Niall after her when he gets back if you want me to.” Louis offered.

“If she’s not back after the set, I’ll take you up on that,” Fearne said with a soft smile.

Louis nodded as he moved a little closer to her. The pair of adults stayed silent as mobs of people moved around them. It was almost surreal. After all this time, they were going to be watching a band that had basically defined their relationship.

“I can see why Georgette is obsessed with your latest album,” Louis said breaking the silence.

“Oh Georgie, bless her.” Fearne smiled. Louis’ middle sister was always her favorite.

“Might have to pick myself up a copy of the ones I’ve missed.” He said with a smile.

“I think this next set is going to be much better than what you just watched,” Fearne said unable to accept his compliment. Louis has a very strong opinion when it came to music so knowing he approves of all the songs that were influenced by him was something she couldn’t quite comprehend.

“You’ve done well for yourself, kid,” Louis said softly.

“Thanks, Lou.” Fearne blushed.

A brief silence settled in once more as new groups formed around them. She moved a little closer to him. She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to bring something up but he was holding back. Knowing him as well as she did, she knew it had to be serious because biting his tongue wasn’t one of Louis’ specialties.

“You alright?” Fearne nudged him gently.

“Ye-Yeah.” Louis stuttered. He cleared his throat letting her know he was lying. Fearne didn’t press the matter.

She just nodded as she looked up at him.“I’ve got like two more festival dates and then I’m off for a year. Can you believe it?”

“Fearne Phillips actually gets time off? Blasphemy.” Louis replied dryly.

“Shocking, I know.” She laughed.

“What are you gonna do?” He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“Um, sleep.” She shrugged. “Haven’t had a year off since I started. I’m overdue on this whole sleep thing.”

“You’re right about that.” He laughed softly.

“I dunno what else. Maybe head home and get back to me Northern roots.” She said turning on her true accent.

“The North better prepare themselves.” He said.

Fearne giggled. “Been back recently?”

Louis shook his head. “No, but hope to soon.”

“I’m sure they’re missing ya.” She said.

“They get to hear me every afternoon so they aren’t missin’ me that much.” He said with a shrug.

It wasn’t long before a group of guys beside them recognized her. She sent a tight smile in their directions before moving closer to him. He moved to the other side of her body acting as a buffer from the group of men.

“Fifty quid, we get papped and sent to The Sun tomorrow.” She mumbled nodded to another group of people that had spotted them. Mobile phones were out and photos were being taken.

“Britain’s next It couple,” Louis said.

Fearne laughed. “Fearne Phillips reignites illicit tryst with scorned ex-lover Louis Tomlinson.”

“Louis Tomlinson smokes out pop star ex-girlfriend Fearne Phillips during festival love fest.” Louis rattled off.

“Remember when they thought we shagged in me car after that god awful trip back home?” She snorted remembering the unflattering paparazzi pictures.

“Never heard the end of that one.” He blushed.

“We got into some trouble, didn’t we?” She said looking up at him with a happy look on her face.

“Wouldn’t change it for the world though.” He nodded.

“Maybe less fighting,” Fearne said softly. “But I agree.”

“But the fighting brought us closer.” He said with a sigh.

“You are right about that.” She said with a nod. No matter how bad the fight was, no one went to bed angry.

“I wanna see you when you get back from being home,” Louis said leaning in close. He didn’t know why those words chose that moment to escape from his mouth but he was happy that they did. “Might be too forward but I don’t give a fuck.”

“Why’s that?” Fearne asked confused.

“Your accent gets thicker and you get more annoyed with the City.” He said smugly.

She laughed to herself. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

Before Louis got the chance to confirm plans, someone nudged him. He turned to find Fearne’s brother with two fresh pints in his hand. He graciously took one before making room for the other boys to join in.

“No tears? No blood? No fightin’?” Archie asked looking confused. “You lot alright?”

“Fuck off, Arch.” Fearne sighed. “We’re capable of being friends. We’re adults now.”

“Where’d SJ go?” Declan asked handing Fearne the extra pint in his hand.

“Off to suck some fella’s face off,” Fearne explained.

“But she --” Archie started to say sounding worried.

“She promised she wouldn’t,” Fearne said knowing what her brother was going to ask.

“I offered to send Ni after her,” Louis said before taking a sip of his drink.

“She’ll be fine boys.” Fearne faked a smile. “Let’s focus on the show.”

“You’re too trusting, Fearnie,” Declan said. “She comes back on one, that’s on you.”

The young woman opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. It wasn’t worth the argument. Instead, she gripped her drink a little tighter and made her way to an open area that was away from her friends. She didn’t need the boys to ruin the rest of her night by making her feel guilty for trusting Samantha Jane. Unlike them, she always Samantha Jane the benefit of the doubt — even if she didn’t always deserve it.

Without a word, Louis moved from his spot beside Archie and took up the space beside his ex-girlfriend. Her body was tense until she realized it was him. Her actions didn’t go unnoticed. When he focused on Fearne’s face, he knew something wasn’t right.

Louis leaned in close. “She’s gonna be fine.”

“Even if she wasn’t, it’s not like they are gonna be the ones helping her when she’s coming off a bad trip. Or holding her hair back when she’s spewing her guts out or keeping her hydrated the next day.” She mumbled. “It’s not like they actually give a shit.”

“She’s lucky to have you.” He said sincerely.

Fearne could feel her cheeks grow warm. “Actually, I’m lucky to have her.”

“That’s true. I know this isn’t me place but I uh meant what I said earlier about Deco. You deserve better.” He said taking a sip of his drink. “He’s a fucking twat.”

“Biggest twat on the fuckin’ planet,” Fearne mumbled. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Louis laughed making her smile. The lights went out on stage alerting the entire crowd that things were about to kick off. Archie and the boys made their way over to where Fearne and Louis had been standing. A bit of mindless chatter began amongst them as they waited for the show to begin.

Intro music began sending a wave of electricity throughout the crowd. Fearne felt herself move closer to Louis. She couldn’t believe this was happening. After all this time, they were back together and about to watch their favorite band.

“Lou.” She said nudging him.

“Hmm.” He mumbled looking over at her.

The look in his eye was something she’d never forget. Louis had a way of making her feel like the most important person in the world whenever she spoke. It was something she had missed.

“I’m glad we ran into each other.” She said.

His cheeks grew warm from the sincerity in her voice.

“Past few years, everyone has asked me what I thought would happen if we saw each other again and this has honestly been better than anything I could ever imagine.” She admitted.

“I guess it was a good thing that Matty nearly shit himself.” Louis joked making her laugh.

“Thankin’ me lucky stars for that.” She winked.

“Mum isn’t going to believe the day I’ve had.” He said with a smile.

Before anything else could be said, the kick drum kicked in causing the crowd to roar with excitement.

The rest of the night felt like a dream. She couldn’t have asked for a better weekend. She was surrounded by good food, good music, and good people. A few more drinks were shared before everyone parted ways for the night.

Fearne Phillips didn’t know how it happened but she felt rejuvenated. It could have been because her work duties were over. It could have been the fact that her vacation was only two weeks away. It could have been the small reunion with a man who made up so many memories from her past. She didn’t know.

She did know that she wasn’t the same person as she was when she woke up that morning. That was something to be happy about.

As she got ready for bed that night, her phone buzzed on the counter of the caravan’s bathroom. On the screen was a number she hadn’t recognized but the message gave the sender away.

Tuesday. Stags Head. Lunch is on me even though you lost, loser. x

A goofy grin formed on her face. She quickly shot back a reply before adding his new number to her phone.

Maybe being friends with Louis wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

[lasselantanariel]

Steam and Shadow: Birds Of A Feather Book 1: Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The backstreets of Qeloura.

(16, Fearn. Night.)

“Storyteller’s Cloak, woman!  What is wrong with you?!”

“She was not trustworthy! Let go of my arm!”

“So you decided to blow up the city?!”

“It was not that big of an explosion! Your city is fine!”

“Yes, except for the part that’s on fire!”

“It’s only partially on fire, and-”

“Partially on fire?!” Gavin stopped running and turned to stare at her.

“Yes, and anyway, you should thank me-”

“Thank you?!” Gavin felt lost for words. What had he been thinking, helping this madwoman!

“You’re welcome.” Suleeta ignored his incredulous tone and carried on. “She was looking for a woman named Branwen McMurrough, whom I assume is some relation of yours, and I suspect she may have been contracted to kill her, as she is clearly a mercenary or bounty hunter, and carries a sniper rifle.”

“She asked you about my mother? What did she say?”

“Only that she was looking for her. She-”

“That’s all she said?”

“Yes! Stop interrupting me!”

“Sorry.” Gavin let go of her arm, watching her carefully in case she was upset enough to set him on fire too. “I’m sorry she involved you, she must've seen us traveling together. I could've sworn I'd lost her.”

“Lost her? You mean you knew a mercenary was following you? And why aren't you worried about your mother?”

“My mother's a bounty hunter, she can take care of herself. Although it is worrying that someone hired a sniper to follow her.”

“Your mother is a bounty hunter?!”

“Oh come on, you set fires everywhere you go, and you're going to judge? Anyway, what were you doing near the tavern?”

“I was going to ask for your help finding someone. Now I'm not so sure.”

Gavin laughed, leaning against a nearby wall. “Don't worry, I'm not in the business. I'm the least dangerous member of my family. Who were you looking for?”

“A bookbinder. He and his family would've lived here some years ago…” She trailed off, caught off guard by the arrested look on his face. “Gavin?”

“A bookbinder. In Qeloura.” His easy smile returned, but didn't quite reach his eyes. “I'm afraid there isn't one anymore.”

“But his family-”

“Why are you looking for them?”

It would be dangerous to share this information, but he clearly knew something. It was her only lead now. She chose her words carefully. “Because I believe the people who murdered him also killed my parents. And I need to know why.”

Gavin’s stare seemed to penetrate her soul, as his eyes searched her face. Now he was serious, she could see he was far less stupid than she’d first thought him.

“I’ll tell you what I know if you tell me how that led you to break into a Nasimani mapmaker’s home.”

“You broke in  too!”

“I was there because I was following my mother’s trail. You didn’t even know her until today. And I know you’re not a thief. So what were you after.”

“Information.”

“I’m going to need more than that.”

“I can’t tell you!”

“Then I can’t help you.”

“Fire take you! Fine! If you tell anyone-”

“You’ll set me on fire. Got it.” He held out his hand.

“You’re supposed to shake it.”

“I know what a handshake is, I just don’t trust you!”

“Hey, I’m not the one wearing explosives here. And you still have my dagger.”

“Fine,” she shook his hand, “but you go first.”

“The bookbinder’s name was Gaelbhan. Gaelbhan McMurrough. He was my father.” Gavin leaned against the wall once more, folding his arms. “About 22 years ago now. We were spending the day by the beach, and my father was supposed to meet us there after he finished with a customer. He never showed up, and mother went to see what was keeping him. My brother and I stayed by the shore until sunset, but neither of them returned. We came home to find the house torn apart, and our father lying in a pool of blood and ink. There was no sign of our mother. I was 6. My brother and I grew up on the streets until the guild took us in. Grandparents found us a couple years later. Didn’t see our mother again for nearly 7 years, we thought she was dead too by then. Said she’d been hunting the people who killed our father, but she kept losing their trail. Given the sniper following me, and now you, I’m starting to think she’s picked it up again.” His sharp hazel eyes focused on her once more. “Your turn.”

“My parents were fire-tamers, they protect our lands-”

“I know what fire-tamers are, I’m not entirely ignorant.” He smiled at her surprise. ”I also know that the Chapawee like to start from the beginning of time whenever they tell a story, but given your impatience, and the fact people may be trying to kill us both, please feel free to skip ahead.”

Is that how I sound? Suleeta pushed this thought aside. At least this would be faster. She spoke hurriedly, “They were trying to retrieve information from the mapmaker, that should have been destroyed many years ago, but they were unsuccessful, and she had shared it with other people by then. Other people were after the information as well-I don’t know who-and my parents arrived too late to save your father and were killed along with several others when they pursued his murderers. I was told this much only a few days ago.”

“Pursued them where? Give me a direction, I’m in as much danger as you if these people are at it again. Which I assume they must be if you’re here.”

“North. That’s all I can say.”

“That may just be enough. I know someone who might be able to help us. She’s in Hagsfjori. Don’t set me on fire on  the way, please.” He started walking.

Suleeta laughed, following him. “You sound like my little sisters.”

“You have sisters?”

“Three. Adopted technically.”

“Do they set fire to things too? Or is that just you?”

“Just me. I do it enough for all of us.”

“That I believe. So do I get my dagger back now?”

“I will consider it.”

“Thanks, I feel so privileged. Hey wait, if you knew about my father before you set out, what was on that paper?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The paper you found at the mapmakers, you said-” he broke off, a grin spreading across his face. “You can’t read it either, can you?”

Suleeta stared straight ahead. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

--------------------

“Okay, we should be far enough away from the mob for a civilized chat now. As I was saying about that jacket-hey!

Come back here! I just want to talk!” Askari raced after the shorter woman through the dark streets. “Seriously, it’s on my back, do you have any idea how hard it would be to draw and fire it in these alleyways? I just want to talk!” She rounded the corner and stopped abruptly, finding a pistol pointed at her face.

“I don’t. And my pistol has no trouble at all firing in tight spaces. Back away now, slowly.” Hard green hazel eyes stared unflinchingly at Askari.

“Over there.” The smaller woman gestured with a slight flick of her gun. As she did so, the faint light glinted off something brass on the handle. Askari’s gaze ran down the pistol as she raised her hands. Was that a tentacle? A brass tentacle running up the pistol’s handle could only mean one thing. It had to be her.

Askari backed up slowly as instructed. “As I was saying, I don’t think you stole that jacket-”

“I don’t care what you think-”

“I think you got it from my brother. Kumbakani Kipanga.” She saw a flash of recognition and surprise. Encouraged, she continued. “My name is Askari, Askari Kipanga. My brother said he lost that jacket to a Loakonian girl with green eyes. Takara, I believe.”

“Did he now?” The gun did not lower. “He say anything else?”

“Not much, just that you swam like fish. Oh, and that you were also a pirate.”

“Former. And I’m afraid I can’t let information like that float around, no matter how much I may owe your brother.”

“I’m hardly in a position to go telling anyone, am I? You know too much about my family as well. My reputation may not be hurt by those of my brothers, but knowing that a respected navy captain was related to not only a bounty hunter but also a thief? He’d lose his ship.”

“Made captain did he? Good for him. Itri doing well for himself too, I trust?”

“Yes. They’ll be pleased you asked about them. Assuming you don’t kill me of course. Our family is rather close.”

“So it would seem.” Takara lowered the gun. “What is it you want? Theirs are not the only debts I owe, and I’m on a job right now.”

“So am I. I seek a woman named Branwen McMurrough. All my leads have run dry, I was hoping you might know someone, perhaps some guild contact I don’t have access to. I’d ask Itri, but he’s running dark again, some important patron he won’t talk about. I’ve no idea where he is, and frankly, I’m running out of options.”

------------

Takara fought to keep her face expressionless. McMurrough was Brann’s surname. Another impossible divide, with no way to win. Maybe it was a common name, and she could help them both, but somehow she doubted it. Life rarely worked out like that for her. She remembered the last time all too well. Smoke and seawater. Not again! She might be grateful to Kumbakani for talking his captain into honoring their deal-her information for safe passage to the mainland-but Brann was her friend. For years now. He’d stood up to the Circle for her, he’d found her a job, a place to stay, a new life. There were people who wanted her dead, and Brann had helped her disappear...she owed him her life. Even if she didn’t help her, this woman was a professional, she might find this ‘Branwen’ without help. She couldn’t help her, but she also couldn’t let Askari go. She’d need to keep an eye on her until she could contact Brannaghan. “I don’t have a contact here, but I may know someone. I can take you to him once I complete my job in Hagsfjori.” She hoped her smile seemed friendly.

Askari considered. “Very well. I’ll accompany you.”

“Great. It shouldn’t take long.”

http://lasselantanariel.deviantart.com/gallery/62581434/Steam-and-Shadow

[netunleashed-blog]

Your summer podcast guide: Why 2018 is the year of the 'podcast boom'

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=16424 Your summer podcast guide: Why 2018 is the year of the 'podcast boom' - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=16424 Image copyright Instagram:@mydadwrotea/ITV Image caption My Dad Wrote a Porno and Love Island are among the UK's most successful podcasts Whether driving the car, sitting on a train, out running or doing the housework, more of us than ever before are choosing podcasts to keep us company.The latest figures from Rajar suggest six million (11%) of us listen to a podcast each week.That's up from 3.8 million in 2016.While that's still a relatively low proportion of the population, it represents a 58% increase over a two-year period.But one of the key factors is the age of those listening. Recent research from podcast platform Acast suggests that podcast listeners in the UK tend to be millennials - with two-thirds falling into the 16-34 age bracket. Of this group, 27% listen once a week, and 29% listen between two to four times a week. What's more, 21% of respondents in the Acast research, conducted by Ipsos Mori, said they had started listening in the last six months. The popularity of podcasts with this elusive audience - which so many traditional broadcasters and media companies have failed to attract - may be one of the key drivers of the growing podcast market. Image copyright ITV Image caption Last year's Love Island co-winner Kem Cetinay and Arielle Free host the Love Island: The Morning After podcast "This is the year podcasts have gone mainstream," says Hannah Verdier, a freelance podcast reviewer. "A couple of years ago it was still a really niche thing. It seemed to me that no-one really listened to podcasts outside of the London media bubble."But this year feels different, and the last few weeks, in particular, they've really hit their stride. "The one that has really exploded has been the Love Island podcast - it's been on the top of the charts since it launched. It's now seen as essential to a brand to have a podcast as well as a website."'A podcast boom'Matt Deegan, who produces the podcast Love Island: The Morning After, says: "In the last six months a lot of new podcasts have emerged, so it would be fair to say it's having a bit of a boom."We're seeing lots of tweets and reaction to our podcast - many of which are from college students who say they are listening to a podcast for the first time."The successful podcast format has traditionally been the companion format - fan-made shows, for the likes of Westworld, West Wing etc. "Spin-off TV shows have always been popular - like Big Brother's Little Brother, and the same goes for podcasts. Love Island is the first UK television show to really go for it and I think they have been rewarded for it."Podcasts, as we know them, have been around for 15 years and gained some traction in the mid-2000s but seemed to take a blow from other online media content.Rowan Slaney, who writes the Guardian's Hear, Here podcast column, and is an audio content specialist at Google, says: "YouTube came along and since then everyone's been pretty video-focused. And then slowly - mainly because American speech radio is awful - podcasts have been making a comeback."The UK has typically been behind the US in the podcasting stakes because the BBC makes good content and people don't feel the need to go away and download different audio content. "But now everyone has a podcast - and the BBC has had to start taking it more seriously too."'True crime craze'One of the landmarks on the podcast landscape was, of course, the podcast Serial. The first two seasons of the true crime hit have been downloaded more than 250 million times, according to Serial Productions. Image copyright Serial Image caption Serial is about the conviction of Adnan Syed for the murder of ex-girlfriend Hae Min Lee "Serial was amazing," says Slaney. "But you can't attribute everything to that podcast. If it weren't for the ongoing dedication of real audio fans, who had the interest in podcasts all along we would never have had a series like that. Serial kicked off a real true crime craze - and it's still the most-listened-to genre."Deegan, who is also the co-founder of the British Podcast Awards, says Serial coincided with podcasts becoming much more accessible via smart phones."When it became a default app on the iPhone, perhaps four or five years ago, it meant more and more people clicking on it. And that was the same sort of time Serial came out - which was the first real podcast content hit."'Game changer'It wasn't much longer before the podcast sensation My Dad Wrote A Porno came out. Hosted by Radio 1 presenter Alice Levine and two of her university friends, James Cooper and Jamie Morton, the podcast has been on the iTunes chart for more than two years. It recently went on tour with its live shows, selling out the Royal Albert Hall. Image copyright PA Image caption The stars of the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno, l-r: James Cooper, Jamie Morton and Alice Levine "When My Dad Wrote A Porno came along, it was a game-changer," says Hannah Verdier. "And others have realised there is a real market there with young, female audiences."Slaney agrees: "Everything is traditionally made for men. Young women are let down by most speech radio - there's a real gap. "Currently the only real route into audio is through the BBC and if you don't fit into those six channels then there's nowhere for you to be heard on mainstream media. But podcasting is a really exciting format, and anyone can do it - so it opens up the door to lots more content and more creativity."Now young women are making their own content that they enjoy. And the amount of black and non-white voices we've heard in podcasting has just exploded. "They're also voices that are not well served by traditional media, so it's a means for ethnic minorities to get their voices heard."The Shout Out Network is one of a number of platforms supporting people of colour and actively encouraging women in podcasts. Wolves In The City, hosted by YouTuber Lee Gray, grime artist Karnage Kills and DJ Jay Jay Revlon, is just one of the podcasts they promote - which aims itself at gay black men exploring their sexuality in London. Image copyright Twitter/@WolvesITC Image caption The team behind Wolves in the City And celebrities have seen fit to get in on some of this action too.Deegan says: "Probably in the last six to 12 months, we've seen a higher number of mainstream personalities getting into the world of podcasts, like Fearne Cotton, Ed Miliband, Jessie Ware, along with a number of others."The success of some of these more recent podcasts has in turn informed the kind of radio that is now being commissioned."I think podcasts have opened radio's mind," says Deegan. "Radio 4 has commissioned a series of the Beef and Dairy Network, for example, a comedy which started out as a podcast."And Ed Miliband has sat in twice for Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 following the success of his Reasons to be Cheerful podcast - currently number 16 on the iTunes chart."In short," says Deegan, "podcasts have grown up." Podcasts to listen to now...Hannah Verdier's recommendations: Image copyright Getty Images Image caption Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine's Dear Joan and Jericha is currently number two in the podcast charts Dear Joan and Jericha - Julia Davis and Vicki Pepperdine pretend to be a pair of agony aunts and they're quite rude and filthy. It's got a really dry, observational humour. Very daring.Gossip - about three friends who meet weekly to... you guessed it... gossip and freak out over the latest developments in their fictional suburban town, Golden Acres.Dirty John - this is a good one for total podcast beginners. It's an American true crime about a woman who meets a man on the internet. She thinks he's a surgeon and then it all unravels...Sandra - this is a bit more upbeat from Gimlet, one of the best podcasting companies in the US. Ethan Hawke plays a boss and Kristen Wiig plays an Alexa/Siri type character. Turns out Sandra is powered by real people though. Dark comedy drama.Griefcast - this doesn't sound fun, but trust me, it's good. It's very simple: just people talking about their experience with grief. It's really honest but uplifting and a really nice listen.Rowan Slaney's recommendations:Capital - a drama about a referendum won by 51% of the vote to bring back capital punishment.The Discovery Adventures - a good one for the family. It's easy and fun, and you can go and visit some of the places that the episodes are based on.Harry Potter and the Sacred Text - two friends going through each chapter of Harry Potter, looking at the symbolism and language of all the books. Very well structured.The Dollop - two comedians find the most ridiculous events in US history that shaped their country. Really well researched and funny.How To Be A Girl - won the best international podcast at the British Podcast Awards. A mother and her transgender daughter talk to each other. It's about how they navigate the world while she's growing up and going through her transition.Matt Deegan's recommendations: Image copyright Twitter/@walkthedogcast Image caption The Times' Emily Dean interviewed Alan Carr in her first episode of Walking the Dog Where should we begin? - Esther Perell is a counsellor. You sit in a therapy situation with real couples.The Tip-Off - behind the scenes of investigative journalism, how did they get the story?Love Island - you should definitely listen to this if you like the show, Pod Save America - Barack Obama's old speech writing team, on the annoying things Donald Trump has done that week. Has turned from a very angry podcast, to more of a campaigning, fun podcast.Walking the Dog - from The Times. Emily Dean interviews a celebrity guest each week while they walk their dogs. Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email entertainment.news@bbc.co.uk. Source link