#and we don’t support the song because it’s from chris shit and we hate that asshole so we only listen to covers/sped ups

[stayandot8]

Chapter Two: So Only Say My Name

series summary: this one is a little different than anything else I've written. An AU where the members work in a bar with my MC, no idols among them. It's also going to be on the longer side. The fluffy Chris we know and love is nowhere to be found. He's broodier, moodier, and has jokes up the wazoo. So buckle up, kitties. This one's gonna be good 😏.

inspo: the song by Fall Out Boy.

Genre: i'm not really sure tbh

Relationship type: co-workers...

Important Contents: bar setting, so mentions of alcohol, chris is a lowkey-highkey dick, swearing as usual

a/n: Part 2 of Just One yesterday. Sorry it took so long, life has been busy. But she's back! And I hope you enjoy part 2! When you see the word count, you'll see why this took so long. okayloveyoubyeeee

WC: 12.2k

Last part l Next part I masterlist

~

“Chris that’s not-” The sound of shattering glass echoed against the walls of the restaurant. I shut my eyes so as to not make my eye roll so evident. This was the third time he had tried this trick, Han waiting in the corner to see if it would work. Han was mainly here for moral support when he wasn’t being my example of what to do. Moral support for me or for Chris, I wasn’t sure. The two had gotten close over the past two weeks and annoyingly so. Changbin as well. They already had inside jokes, sometimes at my expense. Han was the only one who apologized for the both of them during these private moments, leaving Chris and his shit-eating grin for me to peer at over his shoulder. When Changbin would dain to appear to observe, he would mostly laugh, which prompted my response ‘Don’t you have a front door to attend to?’

This was how it would go every time without fail. Chris would come in for his shift an hour early and head straight for me behind the bar for another lesson. Han would waltz in a few minutes later to join us, not because he was required to but because he wanted to watch my latest attempt not to kill Chris. They were the ultimate test of my patience and restraint. And as much as he tried me, I hated to admit that he had talent. As long as he wasn’t talking to me, he was warm and bright to anyone he spoke with. He asked questions and engaged them in conversation in ways I couldn’t just teach, they had to be lived through. The ease of his flow was melodic. A sense of comfort he exuded was special to him, I had to give him that. Each time he would turn away from them, he would shoot me a look saying ‘see? I was listening to you’. He knew how to irk me while also paying me the smallest of compliments. This game of give and take was what kept me from losing it. He had this eerie way of making me hang on his every word, searching for the compliment that would eventually come to the surface. Sometimes it was a small nod of approval. Others it was simply the silence that he held on to, unwilling to give me my credit with his words.

But when he had something he wanted to try, he was insistent. He wouldn’t shut up about it until he did it. He never really asked permission, more so told me when he was doing it. My resistance to the word ‘no’ was more so to pick my battles with him rather than actually wanting to see Chris enjoy himself. But Han’s joy was something I didn’t mind as much. 

“Chris! Dude!” Han was trying his best to control his laughter. Chris was smiling, eyeing the mess and attempting to do the same but his shoulders gave him away. 

“Go get the mop and the broom.” I said, leaning on the bar and crossing my arms. He started the familiar path to the supply closet across the dining room, his laughter echoing off the walls the further he got.

“Han, it’s not funny! He’s going to break so many bottles, Minho’s going to find out and take it out of his paycheck. Not to mention there won’t be any bottles left for me to do anything tonight.”

“Oh relax. We’ve got plenty back there. Minho won’t notice.” I rolled my eyes at his nonchalant tone and picked up the bigger pieces of glass to throw away, determined not to give Chris the satisfaction of seeing my reluctant smile forming. 

I couldn’t help it, their antics were funny! And the combination of both of their laughs were electric, contagious. Chris’s giggles were like songs that would flit in the air around him and then sprinkle over you like pieces of clouds. The feeling was soul-crushing, especially when those giggles were never directed at me. It made my inner turmoil all the more dizzying.

A splash of water distracted me from my task of washing our tools. I spun quickly, wiping it off of my neck and looking for the culprit. It wasn’t hard, as he was staring at me and had a shocked expression. Chris started towards me, hands up in surrender as he reached for a towel beside him. What he didn’t know was that I had a wet shaker in my hand, still with dish water in it. I started nodding, brushing off the beginnings of what I assumed to be apologies and launched water straight into his chest. I broke into a fit of giggles and he wiped the residue from his eyes and fought his growing smile again. 

“Okay, Sparkles. You’re in for it now.” He grabbed an empty glass from the shelf and dipped it in the still water of the sink, filling up the glass. My arms sprung out at his advances, trying to stop him, just enough to watch as he bumped into me and spilled the too-full glass all over the front of his shirt. My hands covered my mouth. We froze. His brows shot up in surprise, black shirt now soaked through down the front. It was straight out of a TV show. Of course this would happen to me. Of course it would be him. Fucking hell.

“I have a spare shirt that I bought one day that was too big for me, let me grab it.” I rushed away before he could protest, my legs heavy as they carried me to the back office toward the one thing that might save me. Hyunjin was there, taking inventory of our current bottles we kept back there for me. His short ponytail was all that I saw. He saw everything though as he glanced up from his clipboard to see me rush to pull out the extra black shirt. 

“Uh oh, what happened?” He watched me spin on my heel and rush back out without answering him. 

“Here, try this one.” His expression was vacant as he stopped trying to wring out his shirt to tentatively reach for the one I was handing him. He took it from me slowly and brought the bottom of his wet shirt above his head in front of everyone, revealing what I was sure not to forget any time soon. 

It was like slow motion. His deep V-line came first, a slight tan coming in from the warming weather outside and onto his hip bones. Next came the most defined abs I had ever seen, the kind that was earned from years of hard and consistent labor. I found my mind wondering what he had done to earn his physical evidence of such work. It didn’t wander for long though as a sharp and deliberate cough fractured my concentration. My head snapped to Hyunjin, who had appeared out of nowhere and was looking sharply at me, concern creasing his face. I shook my head and turned back to the mess on the tiled floor and did everything I could to not think of how deep of a hole I could bury myself into if I allowed it. It didn’t help when Chris muttered two words I didn’t think him capable of saying to me.

“Thank you.”

I nodded, the embarrassment still hot on my cheeks. 

The night breeze was gentle as I closed the doors and pulled out my set of keys. The faint smell of rain drying on the pavement had a way of reminding me of home. Of playing outside until my mother would yell for me down the street, running and waiting for cars to pass by, even the sound of voices followed me as I walked to my car to drive home. Oh wait.

 Those voices were actually here, not in my head. I spun and followed my feet until I found the source. It was Chris, his back turned to me. He was talking to some bigger, buffer guys in hushed whispers. One bald man, his muscles carved out in his tight white tee. The other was a shorter man with longer, mousier hair. The second was tucking whatever he had just grabbed from Chris into his pocket. Neither looked very happy to be here. I crouched behind the stone wall, peering past the corner as much as possible without letting them see me. The pounding of my heart was loud in my ears.  

“Don’t keep us waiting next time. It’s already been too long, he wants to see you.” The voice fit his build, deeper for the burly man he was. 

“I know. I’ll handle him when the time comes.” Chris’s voice was different than I had heard it before. No, this had to be someone else entirely, some personality he kept buried deep within and only let out when he needed it.

“He doesn’t like to be handled, you know that.”

“Look, you got what you came for. He’ll miss you if you’re gone for too long.” Chris’s tone was short, clipped. Trying to get them to leave was my only guess for his motive. I heard shuffling going the other way as I listened closer, waiting to hear if anyone was coming my way. I only heard one set and I stood, frozen in place as Chris walked right past me. I went back and forth on whether I wanted to make myself known and leave it to my curiosity to make that decision for me. 

“What the fuck was that?” I half-shouted as he kept walking. He stopped and turned slowly, looking like a mix of mad he was caught and ashamed of… something. He kept walking.

“It was none of your business, that’s what it was.”

“Who were those guys?” He stopped and turned to me again.

“What did I just say?” He was still, his hat casting a shadow over his face making him look even more menacing.

“If that’s what I think it was, you are putting everyone here in jeopardy if you get caught. We would all be investigated, the whole place could be shut down.” He rolled his eyes and started back to the hotel across the way. I followed him. “Do you care so little about everyone here? I know you don’t care about me but I thought since Minho had given you a shot to-”

He spun on his heel and got so close to me, I could feel his breath on my nose. I didn’t back down, ready to feel whatever he would spit at me.

“I don’t have a choice. They don’t make it a habit of letting you leave after you get involved. And you’re right. I don’t care about you. Minho gave me this job because he took pity on me. He knows what I’ve been through to get where I am now. None of which concerns you.”

“He has the most to lose if you take this place down with you. Don’t let me catch you again, I’m not afraid to tell him.” My heart rate would say otherwise with him so close to me. 

“Last I checked, you weren’t my boss.” He raised an eyebrow in silent challenge, daring me to turn him in. I simply rolled my eyes.

 “Go home, Chris.” I pulled myself out of his gravity to walk back to my car. I made it three steps before his voice called out to me again. 

“See ya tomorrow, Sparkles.”

I didn’t deign to respond, that nasty feeling in my gut telling me this wouldn't be the last time we would talk about this.

*** 

There were 49 tiles on my bedroom ceiling.

It was well into four in the morning by now. I’d been tossing and turning all night long, mulling over whether to follow through on my threat. Weighing the pros (he might get fired) and cons (he might get fired) of it all was getting exhausting. Thank God I had the day off tomorrow. I knew just who to talk to about it. 

*

“And what do we have the pleasure of getting off your chest this early in the morning?” Felix’s adorable freckles were already lightening my mood. Mixed with his new hair and the rising sun, it was the perfect elixir. 

“Oh my god! It’s blue!” 

“Mhmm. What do you think?” His eyes were so bright that I couldn’t help but reply,

“I LOVE it! You look like a blue raspberry lollipop!” He let out one of those genuine, deep laughs that made everyone around him turn to look for the source. 

“Ha ha, very funny. It was time for a change so I made one, okay? Make all the jokes you want.” His cheeks were pink as he smiled at me. “I’ll meet you at your usual table with the cupcake of the day, okay?” He nudged his chin in the direction of the approaching gaggle of customers. I nodded and strode for my table near the window. The normally busy street was quiet at this time of day with the morning sun just barely peeking out of the clouds. Felix enjoyed the morning time in his shop, the smell of coffee wafting through to the street outside. While he barely drank it himself, he liked the joy it brought others. And the smell? He once told me it brought in twice the amount of morning customers than when he didn’t brew any at all. Then he enjoyed the morning rush so much he brewed it all day long, just in case. Besides, what went better with a homemade danish?

Caught up in the bustle of working people running to work, taking a morning stroll, or going for a run, I didn’t notice when Felix brought the most delicious looking thing I had ever seen in front of me with a plastic cup full of light brown liquid, complete with a straw.

“I can see the bags under your eyes from over there. Did you sleep at all?” He’s so cute when he worries about me. It makes me wonder if he had anyone special in his life. He certainly deserved it. Come to think of it, he had never said. I wasn’t sure if he was single or not. As little as I knew about him, he sure knew about me. Enough to know when I haven’t slept, at least…

“Was my peppy demeanor at seven-thirty in the morning that much of a giveaway?” My voice was dripping with sarcasm, making Felix chuckle. He looked me over, waiting for me to give my reasoning for visiting him so early on my day off. “I trust you, Felix. I trust you more than I probably should. That’s the only reason I’m telling you this is because I need advice. I don’t know what to do.” He nodded and after a deep sigh, I continued. “Last night, I was locking up at the restaurant and I overheard Chris talking. So I went over to check it out and he was talking to some…not-so-friendly-looking dudes. I don’t want to accuse him of something that could be innocent but some of the things they said were so odd. I don’t want this to taint how you see him, I know you guys seem to have become friendly. But I’m just at a loss. I know I should tell Minho just in case it’s something sinister, but what if it isn’t and I’m making a big fuss over nothing? He didn’t deny anything when I accused him of it but that doesn;t mean anything.”

“What do you think he was doing?” Felix cast his eyes over my face, looking for something he didn't see. 

“I don’t want to put ideas in anyone’s head. I just wanted someone else’s opinion on the matter.”

“Well, if it’s what you think it was, then Minho deserves to know. He’s got the most to lose in this case. And if it’s not, what have you got to lose?”

“Me and Chris have built this sort of very fragile understanding. He’s not going out of his way to be an ass towards me anymore and it’s been kinda nice. I don’t want to disturb that if I don’t have to. But if he’s doing something to put all of us in danger then Minho deserves to know. And I can let him deal with it.” I leaned back in my chair, feeling the cool metal through my thin t shirt. I didn’t take my eyes off Felix as he listened and nodded along.

“Then I think you know what you need to do. Fragile peace between two people doesn’t seem worth everyone’s livelihood.” My shoulders slumped as his words sunk in. 

“No. It doesn’t.”

*

My knock on the office door was gentle as not to scare him away. Minho was sitting at his desk with his back to me. The pastry in his hand had Felix’s trademark dusting of powdered sugar on top. I snatched it from his hand on my way to the metal chair in front of him. 

“Minho, I need a favor.” His jaw dropped in shock at my audacity. 

“Well, that’s not a good way to start.” His eyes were hard as he reached across his paper-filed desk to snatch it back and licked it while giving me a pointed look. Minho took his pastries very seriously. I sat back in resignation and took a deep breath before I began, letting any amusement fall from my eyes.

“I want you to know that this isn’t easy for me to say because he’s your friend and you know him better than I do-” He cut me off.

“I thought you two would get past this when I asked you to teach him about bartending. Find a way to get along because both of you-”

“Minho, this is bigger than not getting along.” He shut his mouth, lips now in a tight line. He swallowed as he got up and started towards the door to survey the hallway. He closed the door and sat back down, pushing the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and placing his hands in his lap as he cast his eyes to me again. He looked tired.

“Start from the beginning.” 

I began to tell him everything I had seen that night; the burly men, the package Chris had given them, and the words exchanged. Minho listened intently, never interrupting me but nodded along to show he was listening. 

“I don’t want to kick him out, I just think he might believe he has no other options. Minho, please tell me I did the right thing by telling you.” 

“You did. I’ll handle it, don’t worry. I’ll talk to him.”

“Okay, thank you.” My legs were heavy as they carried me out of the office. Minho followed me out but when I turned to the left to go out into the dining room, he turned right to the kitchen. Oh, he means now. I quickened my pace, finally spotting Changbin and Seungmin at the front and made a beeline for them, hoping they would protect me from Chris’s suspicions. 

“But that’s what I’m saying dude. There’s no way they would take him off the team!” Ah lovely. More sports talk. I nodded and sighed along with them, pretending to pay attention as best I could. I saw the shadow of the light in the office disappear as Minho closed the door behind the two of them.

“Hey!” Seungmin snapped his fingers in front of my eyes to snap me back to reality. 

“What? What happened?” 

“We asked if you wanted to go to a baseball game today since we three have the day off.” He was so patient when he wanted to be. 

“Yeah, that sounds fun.” I glimpsed back to the dark hallway, not daring to think about what was happening back there. “Listen, I think I’ll just meet you guys at the stadium okay? I’m gonna go home and change.” They both narrowed their eyes, checking me over.

“Are you okay? You seem flustered.” Little did Changbin know how right he was. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’ll see you guys later, okay?” I heard in the distance a certain office door shut as I desperately tried to make my escape, those glass doors so close yet so far away…

“Okay…” I felt their eyes follow me as I walked as quickly as I could without looking suspicious, pushing the door open to run to my car. The sun was high in the sky by now, beaming down on the earth and roasting it. I just stepped down from the curb leading to the parking lot. Why the fuck did I park so far away? He wouldn’t come after me, would he? 

Ten steps away.

He wasn’t the type.

Five steps away.

I wasn’t worth his anger. What could he do to me anyways?

My hand was reaching for my handle when I heard it.

“HEY!” I stopped in my tracks, my eyes squeezing shut to try and block out whatever was coming my way. I kept my hand on my car door, just in case I needed it. What was I so afraid of? I didn’t know, but I didn’t want to find out. 

“I knew you just couldn’t resist. You had to tell him, huh?” His voice was drawing nearer, hard like stone, like I was a child being scolded. My inner voice came to me from deep within my mind. Who the fuck is he to talk to me like that?

“Your mistakes aren’t worth everyone’s lives.” After a deep breath, I finally turned towards him. His hands were in his pockets, his mouth in a tight line. His jaw was set, jutting out like he was getting ready for an argument. My confidence was waning the closer he drew.

“My mistakes are none of your fucking business. And now you’ve made it everyone’s problem. If you could’ve just kept it to yourself, everything would have been fine. Now you don’t even know what you’ve done.” His face was now inches from mine, his breath floating over me with the faint smell of his lunch. 

“And if you could get your head out of your ass for two seconds, you would see that I’m actually trying to help you.” It came out of nowhere, but I felt the truth of it ring in my bones. I was trying to help him in some convoluted way that I couldn’t explain to myself. Maybe it was my innate nature that wanted kindness to rule the world but I wanted him to realize he didn’t need to do it. Whatever it was, it wasn’t worth it. I was trying to make him see that this place that I loved so dearly wasn’t worth putting it at such a heavy risk. That the friendships here that he had made were not worth jeopardizing. That I…

“Well, I don’t want or need your help. So give it to someone else.”

He turned on his heel and started back towards the building, his expression unforgiving. His boots on the pavement were mocking me like they knew what I tried and failed to do for him. That fragile peace had shattered like glass, pieces broken on the gravel beneath where he stood. 

I didn’t know why I wanted him to care.

*

“Minho just texted me to tell us we should come back for drinks tonight. Says it’s a celebration.” Seungmin read from his phone before looking up at Changbin and I for confirmation. Changbin lit up. He loved after-work drinks when he didn’t have to work.

“Ya! Let’s go!” He glanced at me. “You want to come? We can drop you off at home afterwards.” I didn’t like to disappoint them, but my heart had dropped like a rock in my stomach at the mention of being near that place with him after what happened this afternoon. I started shaking my head.

“I don’t know.” I started. Seungmin interrupted. 

“Come on. I know you’re tired but we’ll just go for one drink, maybe two, and then we’ll drop you off at home. Come ooonnnn, come with usss. You don’t want to miss out on the fun, do you? You know Minho brings out the good stuff when we celebrate.” 

“Minnie, do you even know what he’s celebrating?” He was so cute when he begged. His eyes got real wide and he started pulling at me like a child in the direction we were already heading out into the parking lot of the stadium. 

“No, but you know it’s going to be fun. I know you remember what happened the last time we celebrated.” He flashed me that smile that showed all his teeth, tilting his head in invitation. The thoughts of the referred night came back in ghosts of thoughts, spots of Changbin dancing to some song by a famous girl group and shaking his hips came to the forefront. Following shortly were flashes of Jeongin singing his precious lungs out to some song no one had heard of. Hyunjin in a chair and Felix giving him his version of a ‘sexy’ dance, which resulted in Hyunjin going face-first into a corner in blushing shame. I couldn’t help my smile as the memories bounced around in my mind. So what if Chris would be there? So would seven other people. It would be easy to avoid him. I could talk to anyone else. As long as I didn’t concern myself with him, we would be just fine.

“Okay, fine. I’ll go.” Their smiles were wide as they skipped arm in arm all the way back to the car. The moon was bright, as if leading the way. I watched it the whole drive there, begging it to give me strength. 

The irony of walking in the doors I had practically run out of earlier was not lost on me. It was like returning to the scene of the crime. The others cheered and applauded as Changbin burst through the doors and waved in an exaggerated draw of his arms. Seungmin started bowing to his adoring fans sitting in the booths, waiting for us. I was bringing up the rear and laughing at them. Minho and Hyunjin were sitting on one side of the booth while Chris and Han were sitting on the other side, all of them dressed in their normal work attire of black clothes and denim. Jeongin was off to the side on a barstool beside Felix and wearing his normal choice of trendy clothes that included a sweater, a simple necklace, and slacks. Felix was in his ‘baking pants’ and covered in dried flour and powdered sugar. 

The remaining boys found other seats in connecting booths while I dragged another barstool to add to the mix. Jeongin gave me a gentle grin as I sat, which I returned. 

“You look very trendy today, Innie. What was your inspiration today?” His eyes turned brighter the more he talked about the latest trends that inspired his look for the day. I watched him speak, nodding and doing my damndest not to look to my right. I felt the stare he was shooting at me as he listened to Han talk about whatever subject he was fascinated with at the moment. When Jeongin was wrapping up his small speech, Minho stood up and disappeared across the dining room and into the hallway. 

“I wonder what we’re celebrating.” Jeongin whispered to me. I shrugged as I dared a look around the group. When my eyes stopped on Chris, he was looking straight at me but there was something on his face when I met his eyes. They shifted and I would swear they softened. He didn’t drop his gaze though. Not until Minho came back with a bottle and plastic cups. He stopped at the head of the group and paused for the group’s chatter to die down, his evil smirk setting my stomach a roiling. 

“Alright! Tonight we are celebrating! And I’m sure you’re all dying to know what we’re celebrating.” He popped open the bottle to draw out the suspense. He reveled in it a bit more when he started to pour out the liquid and passed out the cups. He crossed the group to stand near his old spot near the booth. “A drum roll please.” Everyone started patting their legs for Minho’s desired effect. “I now have a roommate!” He paused for dramatic effect, waiting for anyone to ask who. “Yes, that’s right lady and germs. Lee Minho is now no longer running a bachelor pad. I’ve decided to take in a young and poor, unfortunate soul." With that, he raised his glass to toast the group, who all followed suit. He then leaned across the table to clink his glass with Chris’s. “To roommates!” Everyone echoed and chugged their drinks, migrating to talk with the new roommates. Chris’s gaze never met mine, distracted with everyone else begging for his attention. After a few more glasses and a slip up or two, he mentioned he was going outside for some air. 

“So that was your solution?” I asked Minho, sliding into the open booth in front of him. 

“I’m installing better cameras outside as well. He doesn’t need to be in a hotel room anyways. We talked it through and we both decided that it was the best thing to do. Those guys don’t know where I live so they shouldn’t come after him anymore. And the house was getting lonely so I fixed two birds with one stone. I’m honestly a little embarrassed I didn’t do it sooner. Why, did you have a better solution?” I shook my head, quick on the defensive. 

“No, it’s just not what I thought you would do.”

“Always gotta keep you on your toes.” He winked at me, which was never a good thing. He scooched out of the booth to stand. “He’s getting his stuff tomorrow and we’re taking the day to settle in so I’m closng up tomorrow for all of you to help out. We’re starting at noon since I’m sure none of you wil be up before then!” The end of the sentence was broadcast to the rest of the room so they would hear. There were groans of protest but mainly nods of acknowledgment. Some were just excited to hear they had an extra day off. 

“We’ll be there, don’t you worry!” Changbin gave his best immpression of someone excited for it before giving me a look. “You ready?” I nodded. “Okay, Seungmin is in the bathroom and I think I may join him so just hang tight okay?”

“Okay. I’m gonna wait outside okay? He gave a thumbs up over his head as he disappeared down the hall towards said bathroom. After some very hurried goodbyes to the rest of the group and promises to see them later, I pushed the glass door open and stepped out.

The night breeze was a welcome change rather than the stuffy air inside. The trees rustling eased my tense shoulders. I rolled them back to hurry the process along. After some deep breaths, I turned to walk back in when I spotted Chris sitting on a wooden picnic bench with his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands, staring at the moon. I couldn’t look away from him. He seemed at peace, finally left to himself and his thoughts. He was swaying to some invisible music playing in his head while also in time with the breeze. I almost left him to his own devices, wanting to give him his peace when his attention broke to catch me near the door. 

“Sorry, I’ll leave you to it.” I crept back further back towards the door leading back inside when Chris waved his hand towards the bench beside him. He pat the seat beside him as he returned to staring up at the sky. My steps were so light it was a wonder I was moving at all. I moved my foot inside the bench to sit, still giving him about a foot or two of space. At which he rolled his eyes but still didn’t move. The silence we kept allowed me to calm whatever was going on inside me. The shaking was starting to take over in my legs, the anxious leg-shaking starting. 

What is he waiting for? Why did he invite me to sit next to him? Why did I do it? Is he going to kill me out here? Where no one will hear me scr-

“Do you think the moon ever gets tired of reflecting the sun’s light? He just wants to make light for himself?” What the fuck? By the time I made sense of what he was talking about, my mouth had run away with an answer I didn’t know I was waiting to give him.

“I like to think of it as him borrowing it while he finds a way to make it for himself.”

“How dare the sun keep all of it to herself. Everything needs the sun to survive. No one needs the moon.” His volume had lowered until I was fighting with the wind to hear him. I turned to fold my leg on the bench itself and face him fully. I watched him stare off, this time not quite focused.

“The tides do. Animals need the moon to see during the night.”

He got quiet again.

“I do.” His eyes were big as he watched me. “I needed it when I was younger to feel less alone. I would stare at it for hours on my rooftop, just watching it. Making sure it never left me. And it never did. It was always there.” The memory made me smile.

“Doesn’t the sun ever get tired of shining so brightly all the time?” He was still watching and it finally hit me that we weren’t talking about the sun and moon anymore.

“Yes she does. But one day, she will stop caring about what will happen and combust all on her own. It’ll be catastrophic. But that’s what happens when everything depends on you. You collapse. Burn out. Until all that is left of you is a memory.”

“But at least everyone knew her. No matter what, she made her impression on everything around her. And no matter who they are, they can’t help but watch to see what happens. What she will do next.” His eyes were a deep brown that I hadn’t noticed before. Like chocolate. 

“You get very deep when you’re drunk, did you know that?”

He hummed, his smile matching his rosy cheeks as he watched the stone tile on the patio. 

“Go home, Chris.” The words were gentler than the last time I had said them, softer with his inebriated state. He nodded, his chin hitting his chest harder as it surely felt heavy. He turned it to rest on his shoulder to look up at the moon once more. I noticed his eyes were getting droopy. Surely he wouldn’t last long out here. I wondered if I  should ask Changbin if we could take him home ourselves.

I decided against it. And just in time too as Seungmin and Changbin opened the fornt doors and peared around for us. They waved towards the car. 

“Let’s go!” Seungmin shouted. “Changbin said he needs his beauty sleep!” Changbin’s hand slapped his arm so hard he yelled. “What was that for?”

“I did not say that!” Changbin started chasing him down the parking lot towards the car, Seungmin laughing as he ran from the short, muscled man.

I decided it would end badly if I didn’t stop them soon so I rose without looking back to Chris, certain he wouldn’t even notice I had left. I was wrong.

“Bye Sparkles!” He shouted, causing a smirk fighting to be a grin. I turned to him and for once, I waved back.

***

Damn, Minho’s house was nice. No wonder he wanted a roommate.

Chris had settled in the spare room, his things now settled in various spots around the house. I got to learn things I never expected to know about him. He loved recording music for instance. He had an entire setup, equipped with a mic, some soundproof boards for the walls, and his desktop was elaborate. Felix may have offered to help him with the permanent setup, which was quickly accepted. Felix was hard to say no to. When asked if we could hear anything he’d done, it was met with a quick ‘fuck no’ and rumblng laughter. 

His new LED lights were a quick setup for Hyunjin, who’s height aided him in such a project. Of course, after this was done, he flopped on the couch with an arm draped over his eyes and said he was taking a break which ironically lasted the rest of the time we were there. 

Night had fallen now and Minho had offered to cook for everyone since they helped so dutifully. Hyunjin piped up at this and then immediately flopped back down when he was told he would go last. I was convinced we were the reason Minho had such a large dining table. All nine of us crowded around it was a comical sight, all sitting at various heights on different chairs found around the house. The idle chatter going around was ovely background noise to eat to. Felix was beside me and would turn from Hyunjin to me for conversation. It was my turn apparently. 

“Did you think all of this would happen because of you?” He whispered to me, leaning in so no one would hear. As if they could with Han’s screams of laughter. 

“I didn’t know what would happen, but leave it to Minho to find a solution that’s truly better for us all.” I picked up my fork again to stab at my vegetables while he spoke.

“I think it’ll be a good thing. Minho’s good with this kind of stuff.” Felix placed his utensils on his plate to bring to the sink where Changbin had already started on dishes. 

“What kind of stuff?” I asked, perplexed at his last comment. 

“Stuff no one else knows what to do with.” Felix took his and my plate and rose to taken them over, leaving me to think, truly think, about what I had done here. 

I had regained some peace with Chris, which was good for me and my job. Chris was living in a home now, free from the unfamiliar cleanliness of a hotel. Minho wasn’t much better, but at least he wasn’t paying night to night to live there. And we all had yet another night together, my family. 

I slipped from the dining room down the hall to find the bathroom. After relieving myself, I found my feet wandering down the hall towards the room we had just finished unpacking. A few details were different now, as we had left Chris to put out a box none of us had touched. When Han had picked it up, Chris had shouted at him to drop it. Han did, causing everyone to now look at Chris with concerned eyes. ‘Just some personal things, ya know?’ he had said in justification. ‘It’s okay dude. We get it.’ Han was ever the understanding friend and he continued with the other boxes. Now alone with his things, I couldn’t help my curiosity as the glow of the LED lights called to me. I cracked the door open, just to peek inside when I spotted said box in the corner by his new bed. Each step told me it was a bad idea but I couldn’t resist. My own nosiness would be my downfall. 

The flap of the box I peeled back revealed a set of picture frames, all with broken glass covering the details of the pictures inside. I picked up the one on top and opened the frame to see the picture. It was an older woman with three children; two boys and a young girl. The older boy had a little hat on and he was smiling at the camera, a smile I had only seen a handful of times before. It was the other two kids I didn’t recognize. The more I stared, the quicker it dawned on me: Chris had siblings. And from the looks of the picture, he seemed to be the oldest. Well that makes sense. I placed the picture back in the broken frame and dove back in the box for another, unaware that someone had walked in on my snooping. 

This second one was a photo at the beach with two children running towards the camera. The rest of the photos seemed to be of the same thing, children with a woman with them. None of them looked recent however, each of them with that yellow tint that only came with age. I brushed the dust from the broken glass to try and get a better look a them when a cough came from behind me. I dropped the frame and it hit the hardwood floor and smashed even further, breaking the glass completely. I spun to see Chris in the doorway, looking pissed as ever. Those features were back in that hard expression that only ever seemed directed at me. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” His voice was an even calm as he came over to pick up what pieces of glass he could. I tried to help but cut myself before I could do much. “You really can’t help yourself, can you? You just have to rummage through people’s things and snoop until you’re satisfied, is that it? You just have a habit of being where you shouldn’t. You should put that on your resume.” He left to grab a broom from the bathroom. I was stuck in my kneeling position on the floor, bleeding onto the wood. It didn’t hit me that I was bleeding until he shoved me out of the way to start sweeping up the glass. He was silent as he swept, the sound of shards rustling on top of each other filling the room. When he was done, he saw that I was dripping red. He left once more, returning with a bandaid in his hand. “Go wash off your hand. Check for glass.” I broke from my trance to take it from him and stand fully again. It took all my strength to look at him. His jaw was set and he still looked pissed.

“I-” I stammered as I stumbled out of the room. I finally managed to get it out. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t respond, still looking at the dried blood on his floor. Battling against my racing heart, I ran back to the bathroom to do as he suggested. Luckily there was no glass left behind as I washed the cut and wrapped it. I stayed for a minute to calm the shaking that had begun and to process everything I had seen. So he has a sister and a brother. I wasn’t sure what that meant to me, but it sounded a bell deep within. Knowing that he had other family somewhere on this earth caused a strike of jealousy through me. Mine were gone long ago. Little did he know how right he had been that first day, when he said I had no family. I created one from scratch. I found Minho and we built it from the ground up. 

Closing the door behind me, I leaned my back against it, loosening a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding in. I heard the wood creaking from the glow of the lights and Chris reemerged from his room closing the door behind him as well, still stone faced but when he spotted me, it softened just the littlest bit. He continued walking straight past me without a second glance, as if I had been art on the wall, and back into the dining room. 

*

After weeks of lessons, I told Minho that I believed Chris to be ready for a shift on his own. 

“Really?” He sounded surprised by this. 

“Yeah, I think he’s ready. He’s a natural with customers and I think he could be ready for tonight. Besides, it’s a Thursday. A very laid back night. I’ll be there supervising so he won’t be fully alone but I think he’s ready.”

“And you’re not just saying this because you want to stop teaching him?” His tone was serious even though I knew his question was not. I rolled my eyes so loudly that Changbin could probably hear it from the front door. 

“Yes, Minho. You know I wouldn’t say he wasn’t when he is.”

“Okay,” He threw his hands up in surrender. “I’ll text him and tell him he’s bartending tonight. But you have to tell Han that he’s on dish.” My mouth fell open. 

“What? That’s not-” Before I could finish Minho shoved me out the door with a maniacal laugh and shut the door in my face. I stared at it, dreading my next task. 

Han took it like a champ, as always. 

“Oh, Chris is taking over tonight? Oh cool! That’ll be fun.” His chipper attitude never ceased to amaze me. 

Chris came in at his usual time but this time he was sporting the usual attire for the front of house. The shirt I had loaned him fit his shoulders well, cut to accomodate his broad width. And the jeans he wore were tighter than he normally wore on his off days. He wore his hat backwards today, adding to his casual demeanor. He looked…normal. And that made my head spin. 

He flicked his head towards me, not saying a word just yet. That’s when I remembered what I had gotten the night before. 

“Hey.” I responded. “Go ahead and start your prep work for tonight. I need to grab something. I’ll be right back.” He nodded at me and dropped his bag behind the bar. He grabbed some fruit and was chopping when I returned, a grocery bag in hand. He looked up at me, confusion taking over when he spotted the bag. I placed it next to his cutting board and started the apology I had repeated to myself all night long. 

“It’s full of empty picture frames. I noticed they were all broken and I thought if you wanted to replace them, you could now. At the very least, I can replace the one I broke. And if you don’t want them, you could just throw them out or give them away.” He was still eyeing the bag, his hand frozen in midair. “And I wanted to apologize for that night. I had no right to go through your stuff, let alone that box. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.” His features eased with every word I uttered. 

“Apology appreciated.” The unspoken words hung in the air. But not accepted. I undersood that. I had broken what little trust we had. I swallowed and nodded. “Can you put it beside my bag? I’ll put it in the office when I’m done here.” I quickly did so. 

“I know it’s your shift and you probably want to do all the work. But would you like some help? With the prep work and stuff. I’m bored out of my mind and I imagine I’ll only get more bored since I’m shadowing you tonight.” He chuckled. 

“Yeah sure. I noticed last night that we were out of cherries up here. Can you grab some from the back?” When he finally looked me in the eye, I saw that familiar gleam. He must be in a good mood today. 

“Yeah. Sure, no problem.” I rounded out from behind the bar where he stood and felt his eyes watch me go through the hallway and into the kitchen. Seungmin noticed my cheeks were tinged pink and beamed as he teased me mercilessly until I threatened to trade his salt for sugar. That just earned an eye roll, but at least he stopped. 

Dinner service was going fine. Spectacular even. Chris was keeping up with the tickets just fine. He even knew the answers to Jeongin’s questions about specific kinds of drinks. Chris had adopted the nickname for Jeongin quickly, calling him Innie for the entire shift. But there was one particular customer that I had been chatting with off to the side for a couple hours now that began the trouble. Chris had been busy with other customers to notice what had happened. 

“Sir, I think you’ve had just about enough to drink.” I said in my best playful voice, noticing that it had shot up an octave. 

“Oh come on, beautiful. Just one more. I promise I’m not driving home.” A lie. His keys were sticking out of his pocket. 

“Oh don’t lie to me. Let us call you a ride home, on us.” I said, still in that playful voice to try and keep him calm. I tried stepping back from him towards my phone, not realilzing that my arm was still on the bar. He lunged for my arm, spilling his drink all over the bar. He didn’t seem to notice as his grip on my arm tightened.

“Just one more! I’m not hurting anyone!” 

“Sir, you’re hurting me.” Even with this fact pointed out to him, he chose to ignore it. His hand lowered to my wrist, catching my smartwatch and popping it off. It took more force than it should have to wrench my arm free of him. Changbin had come up behind him and lifted him off the barstool.

“Alright man, you put your hands on my coworker. You gotta go.” He didn’t wait for the man to regain his strength in his legs as he shoved him out the door.

I was putting my smart watch back on when Chris came back up behind me.

“You handled that really well though. That guy was being difficult but you took him head on. It was fun to watch.” His eyes were wide, like it was still dawning on him, still processing.

“Christopher! Was that a straight compliment?” I asked, trying to keep the mood light. It was the first time a genuine smile had been directed at him instead of around him. My chuckle must have gotten to him because he smiled back at me. A real one, with no ill intent hidden in his eyes. 

“I guess so.” It was the first time I noticed that when he smiled for real, he smiled with his eyes too. He inclined his head in a small bow, bringing his eyes back to mine. I couldn’t look away from them, that twinkle a little too beautiful to be fake. He looked away first, clearing his throat to bring me back to myself. I blinked, shaking my head to clear the moment from my system and grabbed a cloth to clean up the mess, my once steady hands now quivering ever so slightly. 

The rest of the night went by smoothly. Chris seemed at ease up front, like I knew he would. He didn’t need my help but only a few times, when a cutomer asked an outrageous question that I barely knew the answer to. And when Changbin closed the doors and flipped the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’, Han sat directly in front of Chris and shouted.

“Show us your skills, man!” Making Chris laugh was easier than expected. He was a fan of stupid dad jokes and puns. He never gave up a chance to make one. Han would laugh louder than he meant to and Changbin would roll his eyes. Seungmin would call him old, which wouldn’t end in his favor. 

I stood behind him in the back of the bar, just watching him show off the skills I had taught him to the others. Throwing the shaker to get it to spin was a real crowd pleaser. They all watched with awe as he threw every trick he had at them, some even surprising me. He had learned some off the clock as well. 

After wowing everyone with his skills, he turned to me behind him and motioned for me to sit on an empty stool in front of him. I cocked my head in suspicion but did as he bade. 

When I was seated, he others had sectioned off into conversations of their own, leaving this side of the bar to just the two of us. 

“And what can I get you, Professor?” I had to smile. 

“I’ll let you decide. Whatever you think I’ll like, I’ll go for.” He squinted at me and nodded his head as he turned to the wall of liquor and looked around for inspiration, his plump lips pursed in thought. I watched as he worked and when he noticed, he made a big show just for me about turning his back to me so I couldn’t see what he was pouring into the shaker. I giggled and turned away from him, turning my attention to the TV that was still on behind the bar. After what felt like hours, he placed a pink drink in front of me with a proud smile. 

“And what is this?” I asked, picking it up to examine it. He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. 

“Just drink it.” It tasted delicious, notes of fruit and just the right amount of liquor to make it passable for me. 

“Its really good, what is it? Something you got off the internet?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Nope. It’s something I made myself. Just for you.” What?

“For me?

“Yep. I’m calling it The Sparkler.” I couldn’t help as my mouth parted in shock. No quick remarks, no response came to mind. I just sat there with my hand wrapped around the glass, staring at him. He held my stare to his credit. “Do you think we could put it on the menu? Make it a special and see how it sells?” I still couldn’t find my words, so I just nodded. He gave me that proud smile again, his eyes squinting as he walked away towards the others. I had no choice but to watch him. I drank my special concoction in silence, still reveling. By the time I was done, I needed air. And space away from the loud chatter to process the night’s events. 

I had slipped away successfully into the clear night air. Another warm night, one of my favorite things about the summertime. The day was too hot, too humid but the night? The nighttime was my favorite. Especially when the sky was clear, like tonight. So I decided to hop up on my trunk and let the moon shine on me like it had for all those years. I must have been out there a while.

“Why are you laying on your car like that?” His voice made me jump, quickly sitting up to find Chris looking at me like I had three heads. His shirt had been unbuttoned, leaving the slightest peek of chest for me to steal glances of. 

“Some of us actually enjoy looking at the stars and moon while we’re sober.” I flashed him a proud grin as I lay back down to resume my gazing. 

“I used to love it as a kid.” As if I had invited him, he climbed on my trunk next to me, the weight of him felt as the car bounced slightly. He lay beside me, as if he couldn’t help himself and turned his head to look at the darkened sky. I lay there for a moment as I waited for my car to stop bouncing, determined not to let him ruin this for me. His voice broke my silence, quiet like he was scared to disturb anything around us. “Do you think there’s life out there?”

“I think anyone who doesn’t is living in ignorance. We are one planet out of thousands, if not millions. There’s no way we’re the only ones.” I shook my head as I gazed into the abyss above us. He hummed in agreement and silence fell again. 

“Do you see that star right there?” I pointed to our left, hoping he would see the one I was referring to. He scooted towards me to get a better view of exactly where I was pointing, his shoulder now touching mine. I glanced down to our connected point, suddenly breathing very quickly. I had to focus all of my concentration to calm my racing heartbeat. 

“I think so?” 

“Now if you follow the points below it, it makes a shape like a house. Like the one you would draw as a kid.”

“Oh, I see it now.”

“It’s named Cepheus. After the husband of Cassiopeia and the father of Andromeda in Greek mythology. He was a king of Aethiopia and he tied his daughter to a rock to be devoured by sea monsters and end the plague of their kingdom.”

“Father of the year.” I chuckled, a little louder than I meant to. 

“Oh yeah. She was saved by Perseus and later married to him. It’s said that Zeus put him in the sky after his tragic end because he was a descendant.”

“And now he gets to be in the sky forever, watching other fathers be worse than he was.” We both laughed at that and it became silent again, both just admiring Zeus’s handiwork.

“When I was younger, I would go looking for my house in the sky. I loved Greek mythology so I looked up everything I could find and when I found that, it felt so specific to me that I thought it was put there just for me. So when I had to hide from the unpleasant things happening in my house, I would climb on the roof, clear or rain, to find my real home in the sky. I would tell myself that I would find a way to get home, away from them, away from all of it. Little did I know,  I would. Just not in the way that I thought.”

“Looks like we both grew up with shitty fathers.” One day, I would ask him what he meant by that. He turned to face me, his face so close I could smell his breath. The air was thick enough with his body heat radiating off of him in waves. His shoulder was still touching mine, our exhales mingling now that we were face to face. Swallowing was difficult. My eyes flickered to his full, plush mouth. The thought of what it would be like flashed before me in soft, feathery light. And just for a moment, I thought it might be nice. 

“You’re not who I thought you’d be, you know.” I said as I broke the trance we were in, turning back to the sky. He did the same, moving one arm on his chest and the other down to the side between us, a small brush on my pinky finger before it was moved away.  . 

“I could say the same for you.” Our words hung together in the air above us, hefty after what had occurred between us these past weeks. There was an electricity that surged, an understanding we had come to; we weren’t so different after all. 

His pinky had crossed over mine so gently I thought I had imagined it. I felt the words he couldn’t manage to say aloud. Thank you. I curled my finger, locking in an unspoken promise. I’m not going anywhere. He didn’t flinch like I thought he would, seemingly needing it as much as I did. We laid there a moment, pinkies locked like we were children and breathing in the night air once more. 

“We should probably get back inside before they wonder where we are.” He said quietly. He didn’t move, as if he too didn’t want to break whatever was happening between us. We stayed perfectly still, neither of us daring to tear our fingers apart as we watched the sky. 

*

I thought about that moment a lot over the next few days. I would be washing our bar dishes when the thought would come back to me and my fingers would be pruned when I came to. Or Han or Changbin would come up to the bar and snap their fingers in my face to snap me free, saying I had been staring at the wall for ten minutes. I didn’t know what had come over me. I was overanalyzing every second of that night, wondering if I had imagined it. If I had, then it was a nice moment that my subconscious had given me. If not, then… I shook my head, unable to focus on the thought for fear that some deeper feeling would emerge.

I didn’t see much of Chris over the next two days. He would come in whenever I would be in the office and I wouldn’t see him during service because of how busy we were. And by the time we were done, he would go home right after work, not wanting to stay. By the time Sunday rolled around, Minho asked if I would be alright serving instead of bartending for the night. 

“I want to show him we trust him so I think he’ll be okay without a shadow.” I nodded in agreement and started back out to the kitchen to prepare for the dinner service when Chris walked in through the back door. His hair was disheveled without a hat and his shirt was unbuttoned all the way. His cheeks were flushed and he was panting, like he had been running. A chorus of ‘hey’s flooded the ktichen as he dropped off his bag in the corner and went straight for the office without a second glance at any of us. 

“What's with him?” Han asked as he put away the latest load of dishes. I shrugged. 

“Maybe he was just running late.” I responded. It was Han’s turn to shrug as he went back to the dishes, his apron hitting the floor as he did. I grabbed what I had come for and pushed the doors of the dining room open, passing the closed door of the office on the way. My gut was screaming at me to pause and listen but the last time I let my curiosity get the better of me, it ended badly. I ignored it. 

Some time later, Chris was heading behind the bar to start his prep work, his expression not really changed from when he arrived. Well, his shirt was buttoned and his hair was brushed now but his cheeks were still pink. I sauntered over to him and knocked on the wood of the bar to grab his attention. He turned to spot me, flicked his head in greeting, and got back to chopping. Hmm. 

“You must be excited to not have a shadow looming over you tonight. It can get pretty crowded back there.” He shrugged, his mind preoccupied with something. “Chris?” He turned to me again, his face blank. “Are you good? You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just trying to finish this.” He clipped then resumed his slicing. 

“Okay. Sorry.” He didn’t respond. So I guess that’s the end of that. What is with this guy? Everytime we had found common ground or made an attempt at a friendship, he shut down faster than a computer. I pondered it the entire shift.

Sunday nights were nights no one wanted to stay back. Tonight was no exception. One by one, everyone who had clocked out left with a half-hearted goodbye and went home, leaving me and Chris to finish up the closing activities. Because of course.

Chris was finishing up putting the bottles and glasses away as I mopped the floor. We hadn’t spoken much that night, only speaking when it had to do with work. A ‘hey, can you make this’ here and a ‘can you grab me some more oranges’ there, nothing of note. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except it was. For him and I at least it was.

I was just finishing up as Chris reappeared from putting the last of the empty dish racks away. He walked over to the clocking station, punched in his numbers with his bag on his shoulder, and grabbed a plastic cup from the side of the soda machine. He went behind the bar and poured himself a beer, grabbed his bag again, and sat in a booth on his phone. I watched him do this with a bewildered look. The fuck is he doing? I voiced such a question. He looked up from his seat, seemingly surprised I was asking.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“I have no idea. That’s why I asked.” I retorted as I resumed my mopping. 

“Well, you’re the last one here and it’s dangerous for anyone to be out late at night. So I’m waiting for you.” I almost dropped the mop handle. 

“What?”

“Especially for a woman late at night. We can’t have you getting kidnapped. Then who would help me give Minho a hard time?” Was he being serious? His face said yes. I stared in disbelief. 

“I don’t understand why you’re so nice sometimes and then not.  I say something nice, you say something nice back. You make a joke, I laugh because I think it’s funny and we’re good. And then a switch flips and you’re back to being an asshole. And then it flips again. I don’t get it. What have I done to deserve that? There’s so much back and forth with you, I don’t get it.” I shoved the mop back in the bucket and pushed it back to the sink in the kitchen, droplets of water following me with the force I was using. “I think we can be friends and then you snap at me like I’ve done something to offend you when I know I haven’t. Why do you do that? Do you dislike me that much? That you can’t stand to be nice to me for more than twenty-four hours straight?”

“Oh like you’re much better.” He retorted, following me into the empty kitchen. “You can’t seem to look at me in any other way than in disgust except when I do something for you. Like I couldn’t possibly be good enough to stand in your vicinity.”

“Oh please.” I dumped the water and almost threw the bucket back into the supply closet. Chris was right on my tail. 

“You know it’s true too. Just when I think it’s safe, you give me one of those looks that tells me exactly what you’re thinking.” I was desperate for something to get me away from him. I looked in all directions, noticing the still full trash by the door waiting to be taken out. Perfect.

“And what am I thinking, Chris?” I asked as I tied the bag and pulled, certain he wouldn’t follow me outside. 

“You know your face gives everything away. I can still read you, even better now. I know when you’re thinking ‘hey, we could be friends’ and then it’s wiped away when I haven’t done anything to you!” He held the back door open, knowing it would lock me out if he let it shut. He continued. “Do you know how that feels? Having done nothing to someone and to know that it will never be good enough to be seen?” 

“Why do you think I made myself invaluable here? Because I was bored?” I brushed past him and ran for the clocking station. I punched in my numbers, seeing the screen turn colors from the strength I didn’t know I had. ‘Clocked Out’ flashed and I ran for the office.

“Why do you keep following me everywhere?!”

“Because I am in physical pain when you walk away from me! I can’t stand it when you do that. And you do it often and it scares me when I can feel my chest collapse with every step that you take.”

Everything stopped. The trees stopped rustling outside. The wind stopped blowing. Like nature gasped and waited, listening for what would happen next.

“Why does it do that? Huh? Why can I feel every crack when you walk out that door? What is wrong with me that being anywhere but near you brings me to my knees? Why can I feel my heart beating in my chest even now?” I didn’t dare turn to face him. I couldn’t. He had taken the wind out of me. 

“What have you done to me?” His voice cracked at his words. My own heartbeat was the only thing I was sure of. And even that was a faint ringing in my ears compared to what was just laid out before me. 

What that the feeling that I had been ignoring this whole time? The voice in my head whispered what I already knew. I heard his footsteps behind me. There we both were, finally standing face to face in the middle of the dining room. His eyes boring holes into mine, desperately seeking any kind of answer to his plea. I found what was left of my voice.

“What?” 

“Why do you consume my every thought? Why is it you that I dream about?” It was that moment that I realized I had been doing the same thing. There was a reason he was always on my mind, a reason that not a day went by without thinking about him. It hit me like a blow to the stomach. 

This time, I let my curiosity win out. I crushed my own lips to his, finally knowing for myself what those lips felt like. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist, encircling me like I might slip away from him. He opened his mouth enough to encourage the same from me, leaving him free to bite my bottom lip in a hungry mess. My own instincts took over as my hands moved from his neck to his hair, pulling enough to make him groan in my mouth. Oh god. 

 He held me there until I felt like I might pass out from lack of oxygen. I let go and pushed him away, stumbling back a few steps. My mind was reeling from the last five minutes, going from his words to the ridiculously addictive quality of those lips. I couldn’t look away from them, as red as they were. I was sure mine were the same.

“This was not what I had in mind when you said you were waiting for me.” He laughed sheepishly, burying his face in his hands. He was cute when he was shy. My own amusement at what had just occured was finally dawning on me. I couldn’t help the fit of giggles that were coming about. He peeked through his fingers at me. 

“What? What are you laughing at?” His smile reached his eyes making them squint, his cheeks still flushed. 

“Nothing! I’m not laughing at anything. I can’t believe what just happened.”

“I can’t either.” He sighed. “Go get your bag so we can go home.” Oh. Right. 

This time, he let me go alone, my footsteps the only sound bouncing off the walls. When I came back, he was sitting at a booth inspecting his hands. His bag was on his shoulders. He looked dazed until he heard my footsteps coming closer and beamed at me as he stood. He reached a hand out towards me. It took me a second to realize what he was doing. I folded mine into his and we headed for those big glass doors. He let go only for me to lock the door and quickly reclaimed my hand, as if it belonged to him now. 

“I guess we have a lot to talk about.” He nudged me with his shoulder as we kicked the gravel on the way to our respective cars. More of the giggles from earlier were coming back.

“Yes, we do. But I can’t form a coherent thought right now. How about we talk tomorrow? Give us time to process and think about what this means? More specifically, me?” He smirked as he grabbed my other hand and stopped me a foot from my car door. 

“Alright, fine. Tomorrow then. We can do breakfast at Felix’s, how’s that? My treat. Call it a date.” He had such hope in his eyes that I couldn’t say no. 

“Only because he knows how to keep a secret. He won’t tell the others.” He nodded in agreement. “And it’s not a date.” His hope deflated. It was my turn to smirk. “Not yet. You’re taking me out to dinner first.”

“Or I could cook for you? I haven’t shown off that particular skill yet.” I raised my brows at him. 

“All to be discussed tomorrow. I promise to keep my mind open, okay?” He dropped my hands and he stepped backwards towards his car, not parked far off.

“Okay. Then I will see you tomorrow then.” I nodded, watching as he turn on his heel and stuffed his hands in his pockets. I opened my own door as he did the same, pulling out shortly after and reliving that kiss the whole drive home.

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Sixteen.

I remember a time where I would wake up and I would be in another country, every day too and now I can’t even stand to be away from home, I am home sick. I want to go back to LA so bad, but I am not leaving Chris, so I have to just wait it out for him. I am missing just everything about LA, Vegas isn’t bad, but it isn’t home. Home is LA now and that is where we settled, I think Chris feels it from me too, but I will bite my tongue and just get on with it for his sake. I am happy for him; he has the biggest contract out there for these performances, so we roll. The boys love it here, nothing has changed for them, they have Amerie, and they still have an education, Junior is still doing what he loves, and Emi is happy so for them this is nothing, but for me I hate it. Imani hates us both because we gave her two choices, she came with us or stays with Mel. What Rylee said to me stuck with me and I wasn’t about to let her stay there alone, Rylee wouldn’t put that in my mind for nothing, she wouldn’t worry Chris for nothing, so we decided to not let her stay back alone so she is with us. And that brother of Oakley went home but what gets me is that what did she think would happen, would I turn off the cameras for her, I would have seen her shit. She has been so mad with us, we don’t treat her like an adult but we are protecting her, and if Rylee thinks she needs protecting from Juke then I believe her. I don’t know much about him, he is on my radar, but Chris isn’t too fussed about him because of him being Oakley brother, and I know how much he loves Oakley but if Rylee has concerns then I should be concerned. Imani acts so stupid at times, and she thinks we are against her which we aren’t. We are here for her, we love her and we want to make sure no man breaks her heart, so Imani pretty much just stayd away from me and goes out to see Willow a lot, she is here and Willow is a great help for Imani but she thinks we should trust her, I was going to tell her about herself but then I remembered I need to not bite but things are ok here, but personally I cannot wait to get the fuck home, Vegas isn’t it for raising a family and I certainly won’t be staying longer then we should, I think Chris knows this too, he knows I hate it.

I always come to see Chris at his residency, leave the kids at home and support my twin. I don’t care how much I see him do the same thing, he is such a talented soul. I mean me on the other hand, I am over doing this shit and I wouldn’t step foot on stage even though I got asked too, maybe I would for one song. Chris said on his last one I would need too so I think I may do that for him, it would be cute actually, we both do a little thing together but that is a long, long away so we going to have to wait for that one “how was that one baby?” I said to him as I passed the towel “fucking dope, the interaction with the fans here is so much better, I feel like I can actually you know, speak to them too and get to know them but it was good, I thought Tianna was coming?” I shrugged “I haven’t seen her, maybe I was too busy watching you” Chris side eyed me “oh please, I saw you on the phone. The lies you tell” he mushed my head “ok but I was just sending Mel a picture of Aziel, she asked how he is, and I said my grandbaby is in Guyana, or back by now but that was all. Literally one second you see me on the phone and you’re using that against me” he chuckled “well I peeped you” walking behind him “hey mom and dad” Tianna is here “the hell you come from goofy? You ain’t seen me popping on stage?” he said, “I was there but like backstage, and it is for a reason I promise dad it is” he hugged Tianna “and what reason is that huh?” I am confused, I didn’t even know she was here “just trust me, and I will explain” hugging Ti “you girls, well you can speak to Imani while you’re here too, she is playing hell” Ti groaned out “no thanks” I swatted her.

Tianna is glowing, I see my baby she is smiling so much, she is happy and I love to see it “what is happening?” I am confused, she has us here and guarding Chris’ dressing room “I have someone I want you both to meet, and I hope you both like him too” my eyes widened “you have a man!?” I spat “yes, we have been keeping this lowkey, that is the reason why I have been busy and now we made it official I said it is important that my family like him so yeah” I smiled “oh my god, I am excited” I said “mhmmm who is it?” Chris is already being defensive “be kind!” I spat “yeah but I need to know, that my baby you know” Ti sighed out “please dad, I think you will like him but follow me” she said, Chris looked at me “this motherfucker ain’t Oakley to be coming to see me” I gasped “you ass” nudging him “please don’t be so mean” I pushed by Chris because I want to see this man first, Tianna has been very quiet about this one, I am so excited “they will be kind” walking into the room, he is stood up already but I had to do a double take “I know your face” I pointed “so do I, Rihanna” he laughed “oh wow, Damson!” looking at Tianna “you’re dating Damson, oh my daughter. Yes!” I just agreed, Damson laughed “wow, that was a quick approval. I am Damson, nice to meet you finally” he shook my hand “I mean I wasn’t expect this, wow. Ti!” I eyeballed her, she is giggling “I can’t lie, she got me stumped because I wasn’t expecting Franklin Saint in the room” Chris said, turning to him “I also didn’t think I would be meeting Chris and Rihanna but erm yeah, it’s good to meet you. Tianna has spoken so much about you and of course, Cench” Chris eyes lit up, he shook his head “really?” Chris said “he actually got us together, erm yeah. He is good friends with me, practically brothers but we don’t air that out much, it was more to do with politics of what he was involved in, but we are very good friends and I asked about Tianna but at the time she was with the other dude, but I want to do this right” Damson has got a smile out of Chris “impressive, come let’s talk” this is really good.

Eyeballing Tianna “you kept this so quiet, oh my god” we walked off to sit down “well we both wanted to just get to know each other, what happened mom is that Oakley did introduce us and then left it as that, it was pretty much after Taylan and I said fuck him, why should I even sit around and cry about it, so we have been hanging around together a lot, then he made it official and yeah. We said parents first and then we proceed with the world” I cooed out “you look so happy Ti, I am so happy for you and yeah. He seems like a nice guy, and I know with your dad he hates any man” Tianna laughed “oh we know but what you think he is saying” she asked me “probably asking for the script for Snowfall” she laughed out “he actually” she paused “do not speak on it, I am in Snowfall as his love interest” I gasped “yes, I know. He forced me into acting, he said he wanted me in it. So yeah, that is when you said I went missing on you, I was so tired because I was doing night shoots” I am so happy “Tianna, I am so happy like I pray he is the one but for Oakley to bring him forward he must be good, he knows what your dad is like, I mean he was his friend and he still got him” Ti nodded her head “I know mom, I said that my dad will judge your first move with him. But what you saying with Imani, me and Rylee are staying away if you haven’t noticed” that alone made me frown “but what has she done?” I asked “her attitude mom, she is so rude to us. I mean I will talk to her, but she is rude to us thinking we want to ruin her life, we care!” Tianna spat, Imani being rude to her sisters, that is crazy to me, she loves them.

Chris and Damson are laughing a lot and I am impressed “your dad must like British people because the way he hits it off with them all the time, I am glad. I did like Taylan and your dad didn’t do this is giving me good vibes, oh daughter. You have a good man; he is handsome too. Very handsome” Tianna and I laughed “I feel like I’m on a cloud, he just makes me happy. Like maybe it is a British thing. But also, bonus points. His base will be LA, so you won’t lose me” I cooed out “that is so good, like it’s hard just being apart from Rylee but then when you have kids I can see them” Tianna groaned out “no! Stop it” I chuckled “I’m so happy for my kids, a new relationship for you, Rylee to be engaged, I’m happy” I sighed out “engaged? They just made it boyfriend and girlfriend official?” Ti said “wait, that is a secret. So Oakley asked your dad for permission, then dad told me that is why I was crying that day. But what you mean boyfriend and girlfriend. Can he hurry up, I hate keeping it to myself, but don’t tell her. Let him do it in his own time but I may need to kick him” Ti laughed “I mean it’s not shocking, he really isn’t going to let her go. You know how heartwarming it is that we had a four way conversation, we all get on. We are thinking of meeting up when I go London and having a games night, like it’s just so nice that we can do things together. As couples, knowing Damson gets on with everyone, I am so happy mom” I cooed out “Tianna, this is so cute. I just need to put my attention on Imani” Tianna face changed “she needs all eyes on her mom, me and Rylee have given up, she is rude to us but begs us to not tell dad” I have no idea what is happening with that girl “really? I am watching her and to me she is ok” Ti laughed “well mother, you played hell. Do it with her, she isn’t innocent. I promise you” my face softened “but also let her live, I feel with her she wants to break free and do something dumb too” now I want to call her “I’ll call her and find out what she is up too, she does her own thing most of the time anyways” pressing my phone against my ear “hey mom” she answered so quickly “are you ok? What are you up too?” She laughed “I am ok just going to New York” I frowned “who knew that you’re going there!?” I spat “dad, it’s for work. Sorry just you have been busy” Chris never said really “ok but are you ok?” I said “I am ok mom, I promise” why didn’t Chris just tell me, I don’t get it “I am so shocked you’re with him, this is a cool guy” I knew Chris would like him, I’m not shocked at all.

Staring off into the distance, being back in London is good, I mean I’m happy, but I don’t know, I feel some type of sorrow. My dad isn’t the best, I know that, and I can hold my hands up and say that but he was still my dad and I enjoyed seeing him be a grandparent even though he wasn’t a parent to me, I lost my dad a long time ago when I knew he wasn’t a man, he wasn’t a father but he still was there, he was around, he’s still a loss. I am so conflicted in this, and I hate it, but being back in London means I can get on with things but I’m just feeling down. I am waiting on Aziel to come out of school too, when I think back on shit, at Aziel age my parent would argue it out who would pick me up, like it was a chore and I knew it, I was a burden to be picked up. They would get my neighbour but then I hit about eight and I would walk out, but Juke, I walked him home all the time, I didn’t get that so I will always make time for my kid. I know I had a meeting, but I wanted to pick him up, getting out of my car. School rule that we don’t need to come inside and that the teacher will bring the children out, I have parked right outside the school, they don’t allow that “Oakley you know that is a ticket” the teacher said “bill it to his mom” I laughed “Aziel” she side eyed me “you are trouble, but please can we not take him out of school that long again” Aziel ran to me “dad, my dad is here” smiling at him “Jordan” waving at him “dad can we take Jordan” shaking my head “his mom will be here, but thanks” I said to the teacher as I walked off “I sit in front” nodding my head “get in, you big boy now” getting into the car, he opened the door “yes I am, can I have ice cream please” he placed his bag down on the floor “sure, why not but you got ice cream money?” I asked, “stop it!” he spat which made me smile, I am sure we have time for some ice cream.

I thought I would feed Aziel instead and then he can have dessert before he goes back to his mom, she knows anyways but this boy is costing me today and it was supposed to be a quick trip to pick him up, I bought him down west to a good spot “bossman, it isn’t his birthday you know” I said laughing “I know friend, I did it for the boy. It makes him happy, you like this” he placed the chocolate cake and ice cream down with a sparkler “oh wow” Aziel smiled “that is an extra fiver you know, you better do this out of the goodness of your heart” I pointed, the manager laughed getting his hand out to me “brother, I know you for years stop it” shaking his hand “you like that?” he asked Aziel “yes, my dad get one too” shaking my head “nah, I will share with you. Thank you” I said to him, he walked off “you like that” he nodded his head “I like being with my dad, Jordan dad not rap he boring” I chuckled “so what, doesn’t mean he is boring son. Everyone is different so stop it” he shrugged “but you’re the best” this makes me happy “make you happy if mom and me be together” I asked “sometimes, look” he held his hand “wipe it on the tissue, what you mean sometimes?” that is cheeky “you kiss mom, ew” I laughed out “oh man, you’re jarring, who told you to look” this child “I can see dad” my son is growing “stop growing, cheeky” shaking my head.

Juke said for me to meet him before I go to Rylee house, I really needed to have the meeting and then go to Rylee home, I ain’t leaving once I go there so I thought I would see him before I go back “wait here” I pointed at Aziel and then took my key because you never know with this child “what is up?” I asked Juke “I wanted to let you know that Ti is here in London” my face changed “why?” I asked, he shrugged and pointed “what is that got to do with me, tell her to go away. Juke I am not joking with you, get her gone. She is one screw loose from making you out that you forced her then what?” Juke shook his head “I actually want to be with her” I pushed him “fuck you” walking to the car “get the fuck out of my car” opening the door “out, nah. This is my car, Imani I am not supporting this shit. Juke, give me my keys, I want you to leave me alone, we buried our fucking dad and you come back to this!?” I shouted, now I am mad “you did it for love” I stormed around the car but he moved “you know I will fuck you up, fucking get your shit out” Imani got out “you’re stupid” I said to her “nobody listens to me, nobody lets me live. You’re just like Rylee” I shrugged “no, I know my brother, he don’t want you. He wants what you got” I just said it “fuck you” Imani said to me “nah fuck you, get your shit out of my car, and you! Find a place to stay, not on my watch. You and this bitch” I pointed “don’t call her that” I laughed kicking the car door shut “I am actually going to tell Chris” I spat “I will tell my dad you let us, you allowed it. That this is on you! That you swore at me, he will come to you” locking the car door “Imani, get your heart broken, I don’t care. Stay out of my way” I don’t need their shit, her being in London is the most pathetic shit “fuck off Oakley you pussy” I pulled a face “why are you being so rude to me? Just because your sister is Rylee don’t mean I won’t come for you, we won’t start on your issues. Let’s not go there” I eyeballed her “you sleep with young girls” I sniggered “and you belong in an asylum, fuck you” rude little bitch.

[itskenickie]

my brain is turning into mush because it’s telling me that this is what toji, megumi, obito, law and (maybe) gojo (but not really cause he annoys tf outta me) sound like that and i’m so mad and frustrated that i can’t hear them sing it!!!

[miraculouslymadsblog]

Today, I am going to give you five reasons to watch yuri on ice:-

1. Yuuri Katsuki (our pork cutlet bowl'himself)

How could I not include the titular character in this list of reasons to watch Yuri on Ice? I couldn’t. Because Yuri is an INCREDIBLE character. A lot of his arc is to do with his anxiety, and him doubting himself and his worth as a figure skater. Watching him battle this and overcome this, but not be magically ~over it~ is something that a TV show has never really done before. Yuri’s love for his family and friends is absolutely heartwarming, and watching him grow as a character over the course of the first season is something that makes him feel incredibly real. Yuuri is surrounded by people who love him, but still he feels alone and withdraws himself or isolate himself from others, this is something we all face in our life. His love for Victor and his mental strength (that he can do this) is something I love and admire.

2. Victor Nikiforov (The Living Legend and the most Dramatic Person on Earth)

Victor is like the most perfect character in history alongside yuuri and yurio. It’s kind of difficult to explain everything that I love about Victor because he’s an incredibly nuanced character. He’s sweet and adorable, driven and ambitious, loyal and honest, loving and caring. He is everything. I don’t know what this world did to deserve Victor Nikiforov. His love for Yuuri is something I like a lot. And ofc, he is dramatic and by it i mean really dramatic, which makes me laugh when I feel down. There are so many other reasons, but these are the few that I can at this moment about him.

2. Yuri Plisetsky (our Russian Fairy sorry Tiger and Angsty child or angry kid, Yurio)

He is so sweet, he acts all angsty and angry and tough, but he is a Cinnamon roll. He's cares for his grandpa is something I love. I do believe, he admires yuuri a lot, but on the outside he shows that he hated him blah blah blah. I absolutely adore Yurio because:

a) He loves cats. He loves his tiger printed clothes, and Beka .

b) He skates beautifully. Agápe. Beautiful!

c) He is full of sass and angst but still sweet .

d) He pretends to not give a shit but actually cares.

4. It’s Queer AF. It supports LGBTQ+.

There is no queer baiting in Yuri on Ice. The relationship between Victor and Yuri is canon. C A N O N. This is unprecedented, to be honest. This show is breaking boundaries and is just So Important. It supports LGBTQ+, that is something I love. I maynot fall under LGBTQ+, but I support them with all heart.

But above all that, there’s this ship VICTUURI. This ship that is perfect in all its imperfections. This ship that sees ups and downs, but always ends in love and support. This ship that will slay all other ships. This perfect, beautiful ship.

5. Literally Everything about it

The skating. The side characters (JJ!) (JJ sometimes annoys me but also makes me laugh a lot. It's JJ style). How could I forget Phichit and Chris?! I just love them all. The dynamics. The art. The MUSIC. The character growth. The relationship development. The theme song. The closing credits. The costumes. The colours. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW makes me fall in love with it more .

I LOVE THE SHOW A LOT!!!!!

I think I'll make a part 2 of this...

[afriendlyblackhottie]

hii, i love your writing so much and the black!reader content u provide us cause god knows we need more of them.

i wanted ro ask u if u could do a story where chris meets the reader at some celebrity party and they become really close and they start to fall for eachother. Chris asks her to be his gf but then she becomes distant and they end up getting in an argument and she reveals that she cant date him because shes a stripper and people will probably talk shit about her work being with a celebrity as known as him.

thank u in advanced i love your stories💕

Honey

Summary: After telling Chris the truth, he wants to make things right.

Parings: Chris Evans x black!reader

Warnings: smut, strip club, lap dance, pole dancing, girl on top, fingering, swearing, daddy kink

(A/N: this has taken me for fucking ever and I have no clue why. I struggled, but it’s finally done. I’m so sorry Anon for how long it took. I also couldn’t settle on one single song because you all suggested such good ones so I left it ambiguous.)

Tagging: @titty-teetee @blackmissfrizzle @olyvoyl @liquorlaughslove @harrysthiccthighss @mariahthelioness29 @whiskey-cokenfanfic @olyvoyl @hqneyyincc @queenoftheworldisdead @iam-laiya @donutloverxo @slytherinandoutasgard @zaddychris @brattycherubwrites @love-more122 @ljstraightnochaser (wouldn’t let me tag you)

——————————————————————————-

Chris still couldn’t believe that you’d think he’d care. As if whatever anyone had to say about you would make him want to be with you any less. He doesn’t even know why he let you walk away that night. Or why he let you cry as you finally told him.

Since then he’d been going over everything that happened in his head. The way your eyes welled up as you finally told him the truth. The shock that ran through him because even though he knew how nasty you could be, you still kept up the facade of a sweet innocent girl so well. Which is what drove him crazy about you in the first place.

Except you’d taken that as rejection and he was too late to convince you otherwise. It didn’t stop him from constantly thinking that there was more that he could have done. Hopefully he wasn’t too late.

When you met at that party he was enchanted by you. By your voice. The way you wore your hair. Your beautiful smile. Like he’d met an angel in the flesh. He took you home that night where he couldn’t even wait until he was inside to fuck you, instead bending you over the hood of his car so he could give it to you right then and there.

Between all the fucking and pillow talk, he’d fallen for you. Somehow you’d become his first thought when he woke up and the last one before he fell asleep. He’d fallen for you quick and fast and was tired of the two of you just being fuck buddies. He’d thought you’d felt the same.

It didn’t matter because the truth had come out and you hadn’t talked to him since. He’d thought about texting you, but as corny as it was he needed to do something bigger. So that’s why he was in the audience watching you work that pole. As much as he hated that other men got to ogle you he was more focused on how beautiful you looked up there.

He chuckled because you would choose such a glittery outfit to do this in. Your makeup was all done up all bright and flashy in a way you didn’t usually care for. Your wig was this pastel pink. He was trying to ignore his anxiety telling him that everything could go wrong. Maybe it would, but he at least wanted to try.

“Is it possible to get a private dance from her?” He’d asked one of the bouncers, trying to use his Boston accent so it might not be as noticeable who he was.

“Who?” He asked making this face. “Honey? She doesn’t do lap dances. Something about a boyfriend.”

His heart sunk a little, but he had to do this. “What about for a little extra.” He flashed the money he had in his pocket.

He thought for a minute, before shrugging. “Go wait in room four.”

It took about ten minutes for you to walk in with a silk robe on. Still wearing that wig. He knew that look on your face. The one when you had an attitude. Suddenly he was thinking about that night you got a little snippy with him. He fucked it out of you by pinning you down and showing you who owned that pussy.

Fuck he needed you back.

“Look, I do-“ you stopped when you saw it was him. “Chris, what’re you- what’re you doing here?” You stuttered, your eyes widening.

He took a breath, shrugging his shoulders. “I wanted to talk.”

“You could have just called me,” you said.

“Yeah but I wanted to see you. I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he said.

You crossed your arms and looked down at your feet. Trying to stop yourself from smiling. You hated how he turned you into a pile of goo. Especially when he was trying to be mad at you. “How’d you find me?”

“I have my ways,” he replied, standing up. He pulled you into his arms hugging you tightly because he didn’t care if you had an attitude.

As much as you hated to, you pulled away from him. It didn’t matter that you wanted to melt into his arm. “You can’t just come to my job, Chris.”

He sighed because although he was expecting that reaction, he was hoping it wouldn’t happen. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. “I know. I just... if I had called would you have answered?” He asked. “Because I’ve been trying to call you. Fuck, what do you want me to do, Y/N.”

You shrugged. “I don’t know! I just... look I’m scared, okay. Scared of what people might say if they see us together.”

“I don’t care what people have to say.”

“Because you won’t be the one dealing with it!” You suddenly started to feel all teary eyed. You bit your lip as they started to come down your face. “I’m going to be the one getting comments all over social media about what a slut I am. Or about what an awful person I am. Or how I don’t deserve you because you’re fucking perfect.”

He sighed. “And I’ll be there to support you through all of it. Baby, I would never let anyone hurt you. Or disrespect you.”

“It doesn’t matter. They still will.”

“Hey,” he said, hugging you again not caring as you tried to push him away. Instead this time he held you cradling you in his arms because if you were crying he was going to hold you. “Tell me you don’t want to be with me.”

“It’s not that, Chris, I’m just scared.” You finally gave in. Clinging to him. What was the point of fighting when you just wanted him more than anything anyway.

“Hey, Buddy,” the club owners voice broke through your moment, making you feel like you were going to jump out of your skin, “no touching the dancers.”

Chris retracted his arms. “Sorry. I slipped and he caught me,” you lied. “He was just making sure I was okay.”

Of course he didn’t believe that. Looking at you through narrowed eyes. “Someone heard yelling in the next room. Sounded like someone was upset.”

“No I’m fine. We were just talking,” you said hoping that it didn’t show that you’d been crying. “I promise.”

“Fine, but keep your hands to yourself in my club, Pal.”

As soon as he left Chris sat down, pulling you into his lap. “So what do we do. Ball is in your court,” he said.

“I wanna be with you. I’m just... scared.”

He sighed. “Okay, well we don’t have to tell anyone right away. I just know that I’m crazy for you, Y/N.”

You smiled. “Really?”

“Mhm.” He kissed the side of your head. “Totally and completely crazy.”

You put your head on his shoulder. “I missed you, too,” you confessed.

“Yeah? What about this boyfriend I heard about?”

You tilted your head. “Boyfriend?���

“Yeah. The bouncer said you had a boyfriend so you didn’t give lapdances.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “That’s just what we tell them when we’re not in the mood.” He laughed kissing your forehead. “Or maybe I do have a boyfriend?”

“You want me to be your boyfriend?” He bit his lip. His heart was racing fast then.

“Maybe.” You smiled trying to play it off all I’m

“Maybe, but... I’m...” you pulled away from him only to cross your arms all self consciously again.

“Talk to me, Honey.”

You rolled your eyes. “You think you’re so funny.”

He chuckled. “I like it.” He grabbed your hand so you could sit with him. Making you perch on his lap. “Talk to me.” He pushed a piece of the pink wig out of your face.

“I’m still scared.”

“And, I’ll be there to beat up anyone who wants to talk shit.” Chris held you as close as he could needing to feel you against him. “So, do you like stripping?”

You shrugged. “It’s fun and it pays the bills.”

“Do you want to keep doing it?” He asked.

“I mean... maybe,” you replied. Sort of afraid to say the wrong thing. It’s not that you think Chris wasn’t pro sex work, but that didn’t mean he had to be okay with his girlfriend doing it.

“Baby, if you’re worried about money, I don’t mind helping out.”

“I know,” you said.

“And if this is something you want to do, I’m okay with that, too. I don’t care what anyone says.”

You smiled before kissing him. That had been all you needed to hear from him. Not that it would fix everything, but right now it was enough.

“Promise?”

“I swear on Dodger. So you know that means it’s pretty serious,” he replied. You chuckled and he kissed your lips this time. Craving you after spending way to long not being able to touch you. You were still tearing up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you sniffled forcing a smile on your face. “So, I never gave you that lap dance.”

He chuckled. “Oh yeah. Baby, you don’t-“

You cut him off, putting your hand against his mouth. “I know I said I don’t give them, but I’ll make an exception for you.” You licked your lips, giving him this look that he’d recognized when you were trying to take his dick.

He glanced at the door first making sure no one could see them. Yeah it was just a lap dance, but he couldn’t promise that he would keep his hands to himself. You got up before leaning down to peck his lips.

“You can touch me however you want.” You started undoing your robe showing off the little costume you were wearing underneath.

“Fuck,” he breathed as he looked you up and down. As you removed the fabric that was keeping him from being able to see your full body. You turned around slowly giving him an eyeful of all that ass. He reached out to touch it.

“You like?” You asked all breathily, sitting back down on his lap with your back pressed towards his chest. You gyrated your hips feeling him get hard under you. His bulge pressing into your barely covered center.

He groaned into your ear. “Oh, I fucking love it.” He wrapped his arms around your his so tight. Helping you move. Making you mold into him a little deeper.

You bent your arm back so it was resting on the back of his head. He grabbed at your tits kissing your neck. As he pinched your nipple you let out a moan you didn’t hold in quick enough.

You put your hands on his thighs so you could brace yourself. Moving your hips in a circle so you were right on his dick. “Holy fuck,” he panted. You were driving him so crazy. He had to touch you. Had to feel how wet you were just for him.

He dipped his fingers into your panties. You were so wet he knew you were probably making a mess on his jeans. He didn’t give a fuck. All he wanted was to make you cum. He missed you to much to care if your pussy made a mess on him.

You had to cover your mouth this time because he’d started rubbing your clit. All soppy and wet. Your hips faltered especially as he lifted up your leg so his other hand could finger your pussy.

“Oh, my god.” You cried into your hands before falling back against him again. You uncovered yourself so you could kiss him instead. Pressing a hungry kiss to his mouth.

It was too much. Him doing both at the same time. You were trying to hold your moans in, but it was hard which is why his kiss just got deeper. Your cunt felt like it was weeping from what he was doing to you. It was way too much.

You were so damn tight. Like he’d dipped his fingers in velvet. While he rubbed your clit. You couldn’t hold your noises in, making you pull him away from him. He stared at you with a smile on his face because you looked so pretty all desperate. “You wanna cum for me?” He asked into your ear. “Wanna cum for Daddy?”

You whimpered, but still nodded because he was right you were so damn close. Hips still angled so you could feel his bulge underneath you. You needed it inside of you so bad.

You grabbed at his cock through his jeans. Needing to feel it in your hands. “You want this, huh. I could take you home and fuck you like a proper girl, but you want me to dick you down at work like a slut,” he said whispered in your ear, taking the hand that was rubbing your clit away so he could stuff his fingers in your mouth.

You moaned around them. Tasting yourself. Moaning as he found your g-spot while he still fingered you. You cried out as he made you cum all over his hand. Eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“That’s it, Baby. Make a mess for me. I want everyone to know when I leave who makes you cum.” He moved to your clit now rubbing it just the way you liked it was driving you crazy.

When your orgasm finally subsided, you got up so you could turn around in his lap. Now that you were facing him he kissed you hard. Grabbing at your ass.

You moved your hips. Looking down at the wet spot you’d left on jeans. “Oh, Daddy,” you whimpered. “You feel so good.”

“That’s it, Honey.”

You chuckled. “You think you’re so fucking funny.”

He laughed reaching between you so he could finally start to undo his pants. “What it’s cute.”

When you finally got to sink down on his dick, you cried out. You felt so full. Like he’d filled you to the brim.

You tossed your head back with your eyes screwed shut as he lifted you up and down his dick. It felt so damn good. You needed it so badly. Needed him to fill you up with his cum.

“You look at me when I fuck you,” he demanded. Grabbing a fistful of pink hair so you were forced to look at him. You opened your eyes so they could meet his. Biting your lip to keep for being too loud again. “This is my pussy don’t you ever forget it.”

“Yes, Daddy. It’s yours,” you breathed trying to not be too loud. “I don’t let anyone else touch me like you do.”

“Yeah?” He asked. “That’s my good fucking girl.” He groaned.

“You’re gonna make me cum again,” you cried because he was so damn thick.

“Cum for me,” he said into your ear making you tingle.

You buried your head into his shoulder as you did. With your pussy walls gripping him like that you couldn’t stop yourself as you started to milk him. Triggering his own orgasm as he captured your lips in another kiss.

“You two, out!” Your bosses voices almost made you jump out of your skin.

“No I’m okay!” You said. “He, um...” you tried to think of a lie. “Because he paid so much I...”

“I’m not running a brothel here.” He glared at you. “You get your shit and get out of my club. Honey, you’re fired.”

He was waited for you outside. Leaning against his Camero. You’d changed back into your sweats. He smiled seeing your normal hair. That bright makeup wiped off. Sad because he was actually really enjoying see you all overly sexed up. “Guess you don’t have to worry about dating a stripper anymore.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said before kissing you.

“It’s okay,” you replied with a shrug.

“Why don’t you come live with me? You won’t have to worry about rent. Or anything.” He chuckled.

“You wanna be my sugar daddy?” You laughed.

“No. I mean sure, but I wanna be your boyfriend. Do things like protect you and take care of you. Is that okay?”

You looked up at him through your eyelashes. “You have to promise me something first,” you said.

“Anything,” he said, grabbing your hands so he could pull you to him.

“Just when the news hits over us, you’ll fight for me. Won’t let your crazy fans treat me to badly.”

He chuckled. “I will personally tell off every single one of them.” He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. “Want me to take you home?”

“Yeah I got picked up by one of the girls,” you said. “My place or yours?”

He chuckled. “Ours.” He smiled before kissing you softly.

[redhairedfeistynerd]

Slush and a Side of Toys

Part 1

A/N: I'm months behind on everything but here is my piece for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork  and @sagechanoafterdark  Winter/Holiday Festival Challenge. I chose #38 donating toys to children.

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, angst, frustrated reader, swearing, alcohol

Words: 5800+

Part 2 will be up soon!!

Please like, comment and reblog. I appreciate it and thanks for reading.

All mistakes are my own

A reminder - my work is not to be reposted anywhere.

There’s a muffled humming coming from somewhere under a pile of paperwork and takeout containers on your floor. The sound is constant, piercing, and irritating. Eyes still closed, head pounding from an evening of too much wine and schmoozing, you reached down towards the sounds and ran your hands over the stack, following the vibrations of your phone. Once found, you yanked it away from it charging cord and used every ounce of energy you had, pulling the phone close to your face. Opening one eye a sliver to hide from the light, you read from the bright screen.

Hey, listen, I know we've had our differences the last few years but I think it's time we put all of it behind us. I saw Rosie the other day and asked her how you were doing but she kept it pretty vague. I hope to hear from you soon, even if it's only a text to say you’re doing okay.

Reading over the message a second time, in utter shock that he had the audacity to message you and pissed that he even dare ask your friend about how you were; you decided to turn off your phone and toss it into a pile of clothing on the floor.  

What. A. Dick.

Rolling back over into your cozy blanket cocoon, falling back asleep, temporarily pushing away any thoughts of the man from your past.

The message was all but forgotten until later that day when a familiar song came on the radio and you couldn’t help but think about how you had both downed several beers at a pub and sang it at the top of your lungs. Maybe it had been a dream earlier and the text never happened. Pulling your phone from your back pocket, hoping it was all your imagination, you indeed saw that there was a text.

The ever-so-hard to escape blue eyed man, was trying to weasel his way back into your life and you weren't having any of it. Dropping the phone into the bag sitting at your feet, getting up from the desk, shaking out a bit to ease the tension that one tiny text had accumulated.  

"Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him," you repeated the words over and over, hoping to push all thoughts aside. In stocking feet, walking around the small hole you called your office and continued to shake it out. The calm didn’t last as long as you hoped, anger slowly creeping up and out.  

"Stupid frikkin guy!! UGH!" The sound of your disgruntled cry, shook you a bit, the frustration clearly coming out louder than expected. "All right, settle yourself down, you can't let him have this sort of pull over you," hoping the self-talk would work, you ran your hand through your hair and walked back to the desk. "Delete it, pretend that you never looked at it and it will go away."  

There was no way the struggle going on inside your head would even fathom deleting the text. Truth be told, as much as you cursed and hated the thought of him trying to slide back into your life, there wasn’t a month that went by without a thought of him crossing your mind. A song playing, a Romcom from the 90s, the pizza you both loved so much. Why couldn’t you escape him?

You shot off a quick text to Rosie, curiosity was killing you now, itching inside you, desperate to find out how the hell you had come up in conversation.

Y/N -Word on the street is that you ran into a clown I once knew; I’m curious what was said.”

Rosie: Oh no, he didn’t.

Y/N: He did and it was pathetic

Rosie: It was a super quick interaction. Both of us waiting for a coffee and being friendly. He asked about you almost right off the bat though. It almost rendered me speechless after what happened.  

Y/N - So, that’s it? What did you say? Did you tell him how fantastic my life is going and that I probably wouldn’t even remember him?

Rosie: you and I both know, that that’s a load of shit. I’ve had wine nights with you, that man-child has never left that brain of yours.  

Y/N Shut up.

Rosie: Really though, it was super quick. I said you were doing charity work and were still in the city, happy and healthy.  

Y/N- good to know. I’ll just sit here and pretend his message never happened then. Carry on as usual.  

Rosie: see you later this week?

Y/N Definitely, bye babe.

Placing your phone down on your desk, you continued opening your mail: thank you cards for volunteering, appreciation notes from parents and kids, and requests for you to help out at other groups around town. The next month would be hectic, with collecting the many donations from around the city. You had to finish training several new volunteers that would assist with wrapping, delivering, and presenting gifts to the charities and individual families that you helped support during the Winter months.  

It became a mechanical process, opening envelope after envelope, that you weren’t paying attention to the return addresses. It wasn’t until you read the first few lines that the letterhead caught your eye and did it burn.  

Blue-eyed monster strikes again via his mother.

You knew it wasn’t the case though, his mom, was offering a bursary to some of the kids you helped out and she was reaching out to you and other groups in the city to help.  

It didn’t take much to pull your mind from work once you had read the Evans name on the letter. Bits and pieces shifted in your mind; you couldn’t fight it any more today. The letter slipped to the floor and you sat back against your desk, the memories that you had been pushing away, were flooding back.

It all started innocently about three years ago, bumping into one another around town, having several acquaintances that knew each other, and a tendency to make the other smile when the lamest dad jokes were thrown around. His face was incredibly animated and you loved the way his eyebrows would jump up while he spoke, there was mischief behind them that you wanted to discover. Even a quick peek, would ease the curiosity.

You recognized that laugh from across the room of the gallery – full of heart and genuine. Turning around, you spotted Chris mingling with other attendees of the charity event. You were here to help raise money for low-income families in the community that could not afford music lessons or music therapy for their children. The profits from the art sold this evening, would help buy instruments for the school that was set to open the following month. You knew Chris had donated and you had volunteered to help teach the parents with baby's groups every second weekend. It was the least you could do, you had a bit of extra time and needed to give back to the community that helped you and your family out during your childhood.

“How did I know you would be here?”  

You must have zoned out thinking about that boisterous laugh that you didn’t see Chris walking over to you. You smiled as he leaned in wrapping one arm around you, a beer being held in his other hand. His smell was intoxicating – a mixture of orange and the woodiness of sandalwood. Would it be wrong if you pulled him closer to take a quick whiff before he pulled away?  

He took his time moving back from you, winking as his arm shifted back to his side and lifting the beer to his mouth with the other, take a long sip.

“So, you out here to buy some art?” he asked, taking another drink.

“No, not buying tonight. One of the pieces is mine, I donated it to help out.”

“You have something up for sale here?” He questioned, taking a quick spin around to quickly look at all the art hanging around the gallery. “Which one is yours?”

“Oh, I am NOT telling you that. I think I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which one is mine. You can play the role of Sherlock Holmes.”

“Now, that’s just cruel.”

“Cruel? Nah. Mysterious? Yes. Are you up for a little game of 5 questions to help you out? If you can guess which one is mine, then I guess you have bragging rights because I haven’t discussed my art with anyone here. If you don’t figure it out, then I suppose it will be a mystery forever.”

“Oh, I KNOW I’ll be able to figure this out!” Chris says loudly, clapping his hands together and popping each shoulder up and down. “I’m always up for a challenge.”

“Here’s the deal, you ask me whatever you need to to figure out which one is mine. Obviously, you can’t ask which one is mine as one of your questions. Ready?”

“Ready!” Chris said enthusiastically. He took your hand and brought you to the front of the room to observe the first of the paintings. “Let’s take a quick gander and then I’ll start. How does that sound to you?”

“Whatever you need to do, Evans.”

Chris pulled you from canvas to canvas, still holding your hand as he inspected each piece. “First question. “Did you only use paint for the one you donated?”

“NOPE, next question, Evans!”

“Okay, okay, I got this,” he bounced around on the spot and turned his head to quickly glance over the works close to him. “Shit, I guess I should have asked if what you donated was a painting, right?”

You walk a circle around Chris “Is that your question?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

His blue eyes flick quickly to yours before he says, “Ya, actually...ya. That’s what I want to know. Did you submit a painting?”

“Yes, one of my paintings is hanging somewhere in one of these giant rooms.”  

“You really don’t think that I’m capable of figuring this out, do you? Ye of little Faith,” he smirked and pulled you to the back of the dark room. “Any reason why it’s so dark back here?”

“Maybe that’s what the artist wanted?”

“Here’s question three then,” he said as he pulled you closer to him, your eyes looking into his as he asked. “Is you painting in the dark room?”

“Is that really what you want to ask me?”

Chuckling, you take hold of his hand and lead him to another section of the gallery. “I don’t want you to miss any pieces, so take a look around here before you ask number three.” He squeezed your hand and looked up, the ceiling adorned with a beautiful piece; birds in flight but as they reached the furthest wall, the began to decay, until only single feathers remained.    

“Here’s number three, ready?” He looked to his left where you were nodding your head back. “Did you mainly use your hands for this piece? I mean, instead of brushes or other tools.”  

You were silent for a moment before answering, did you want to tell him how much of yourself you had put into this piece? That what the brushes couldn’t do, you did with your hands and arms? “I did. This one needed more than brushes.”

Chris smiled at you, “feel like telling me what else you used?”

“Not a chance,” you said, grabbing a glass of white wine from the tray passing by. “You want a glass?”  

Chris held up his bottle, its content revealing that it was still half full. “I think I have a pretty good idea which one is yours, so these last two questions are going to be good.” With two large gulps, he finished up the rest of his beer. “So, what happens when I guess, do I get some sort of prize? Maybe you could paint me or something?”

“If you mean, could I dump a bucket of paint over your cocky head, then, sure!”

Chris burst out laughing, pulling you into him for a squeeze.  “I love how you make me laugh and I bet you would actually do that to me. But really, if I do guess, what happens?”

You kept your body close to his, his arm still holding you close as you responded, “what do you think would be suitable prize, Chris? Do you want me to paint something, make you a prince? Maybe something of you and Dodger? Or maybe I could paint your like one of my French girls.”

“I would love one of your pieces, but if I win this, I’d like to take you out. Is that okay with you?”

Your grip tightened around the wine glass, trying not to let it slip to the floor. It was a shock, to hear that this man, one that you had flirted with for months, was asking if you wanted to go out with him.  

“Y/N?”

“Sorry, I... I didn’t expect you to ask me that,” you answered, fidgeting with your hands out of awkwardness.

“It’s ok, you can say no! It’s all right to tell me no.”

“No. No. I’d love that. If you can guess which one is mine, I will gladly go out with you. Dinner, drinks, walk – whatever you like.”

Chris placed his empty beer on the table closest to you. “Ready for my last two questions?”

“As ready as one can be.”

“Is your piece hung on the wall as a landscape?”

“Look at you Evans, you got another one.”

Chris rubbed his hands together, his smile wide and full, clearly showing that he was on a winning streak. “Here’s number four and then I’ll go right to the painting I think, the painting I know it is. Chris walked back and forth in front of you before turning to face you with his last question. You had grabbed another glass of wine and took a sip, waiting for his winning question. “Does your piece use more than black and white? – so many of these photos, sculptures, paintings are very monotone.”

“You’re good Evans and yes, I filled my picture with the rainbow. So, take my hand and show me what the answer to this mystery is.”

His warm hand took your free one and he walked you to one of the side rooms – this room was full of colourful pieces. You could feel the heat flushing across your cheeks and a thin layer of sweat formed at your hairline. Chris stopped and turned towards the back wall and pointed to one of the paintings. “I’m pretty sure this one is yours,” he said with a half-smile. “Am I right?”

You had wished, during those few minutes he had suggested that he take you out, that he would guess which one is yours. But what were the chances with over 40 pieces around you? You tried to keep your body from slouching before you softly answered “No. That’s not mine.”

The happiness in his eyes left quickly once you responded.

“Are you going to tell me which one is yours though?” He asked you eagerly.

“No, I think I’m going to keep that secret to myself. Thanks for the fun, Evans, I should get home. Another day of charity work for me tomorrow.”

“Wait, Y/N, I’d still like to take you out though, will you let me do that, please?”

“I guess we’ll have to see what the future brings,” you replied, giving him a little wink and a squeeze to his hand, you took one last sip of your wine before heading to the coat check.

Chris watched you as you wrapped a scarf around your neck and slipped your arms into the long, wool coat.  Walking back over to him and wrapping your arms around him, it was a quick hug and he barely had an arm around you before you were stepping back. With a smile on your face, you turned and stepped out into the night. Chris watched as you turned right and glanced his way, your hand lifting up and into a quick wave. He couldn’t stop smiling and knew he had to see you again.

It didn’t take long for that to happen. You couldn’t get him out of your thoughts and dreams after the encounter at the gallery. He really was something; funny, compassionate, a hard worker, and you couldn’t deny that he was incredibly good looking.

After an event in town and a few drinks later, it was easy as pie, asking him over for dinner. He had initially thought you were pulling his leg.  

Chris couldn’t stop laughing. "Oh ya, sure you want me to come over for dinner," laughing at your request and taking a sip of his IPA.

The pink that had flushed across your cheeks when you had shyly asked him was disappearing like an ice cube in hot soup. He picked up on the change immediately and apologized profusely. "I didn't think you were serious! You are serious, right?”

"Why wouldn't I be? It's just dinner," you shrugged. “I don’t see why you would have such a dramatic response to a simple question.” There was an awkwardness now and maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to come over. “Sorry, I thought since we kind of hand a friendship blooming and I tend to invite friends over...”

He took hold of your arm and pulled you into his chest, a big smile across his face. “I'll come by; don’t you worry. Which day this week works for you? I'll be out of state after this week for a bit, so hopefully something the next few days will work for you,” he said, squeezing you a bit before he released his hold on you.  

Trying not to be awkward, you responded "This week will definitely work, tomorrow or the next day are open for me."

"Let’s go for tomorrow, okay?  Would you like me to bring anything?” Chris smiled  

“Be sure to bring the dog, he's the one I'm really inviting.”

"Well, fat chance of me coming by now, I see where your allegiances lie, " he said half closing his eyes and glaring at you in a teasing manner.

"Ok then, just drop the dog off, I'm sure he'll enjoy the feast."

Chris couldn't help laugh at the way you were carrying on with this charade. The half-smile that was currently on your face was one full of mischief and it was something that he had come to enjoy the last few times he had run into you around town. He could see a sparkle in your eyes, something that he didn’t notice before today and it was something, that he could get used to.  

“A thought crossed my mind... what exactly would have happened if I had guessed right?”

“Since that didn’t happen, I guess you’ll never know,” you said with a shrug and nudged him with your shoulder.

“You sure like to tease me.”

“What exactly am I teasing you over?”

“The opportunity to be in your presence again,” he replied, a slight blush crossing his cheeks.

Finishing up your drink, you placed the glass back on the cardboard coaster and turned to face him.  

**

“What the hell is THIS?” he asked grabbing at the green monster type thing that was hanging from a lamp in your living room

"That, is a flying frog - one of those weird ass dad gifts - he's always finding these peculiar creatures for me and I can't seem to part with them.

"It's sure ugly"

"You're ugly!” You shouted back at him and burst into the most beautiful smile he had seen cross your face.

"What are you, 12?

"Sometimes,” you replied.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh at you and pull you into a quick side hug. "You're a funny one" he feels you squeeze him back softly, a smile crossing his face at the quick interaction.

"I better go take a peek in the oven and make sure everything is baking the way it should. Make yourself cozy, I'll be right back."  You looked back to him, pointing at the couches before turning and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. Turning you head back, forgetting to offer him a drink but his long strides had brought him right behind you quickly, almost colliding with your body. He tripped up a bit and moved his hand to your hip to catch himself.

"I want to see what you're up to in here, see what the chef is cooking up.” Chris resting his chin on your shoulder to peek at what you were stirring on the stove.

“You couldn’t sit still and wait for me to come back, did you miss me that much,” you teased.

“I couldn’t stand to be apart from you for a second longer.”

“That is the cheesiest lines, Evans. Does shit like that work for you?”

“What matters is, if it’s working on you. So, is it?”

You hummed, refusing to answer the question and carried on taking care of the food in the oven. Satisfied with how everything looked, you turned the timer back on and offered Chris a drink. Agreeing on wine, you pulled a bottle from the rack, passed the stemless glasses to Chris, grabbed his hand, and lead him back into the other room. Sitting on the larger of your two couches, Chris took a place beside you, taking the bottle from your hand, opening the bottle, and pouring you a generous glass before pouring his own.  

“To friendship,” he said raising his glass

“To friendship, good food, and drinks,” you added and brought your glass to his, a quick clink, and sips were taken.  

Dinner was ready within the hour and you both continued to chat while enjoying your meal.  

“That was one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time, thank you”, complimented Chris as he wiped his mouth with the napkin when he had finished his last bite.  

The compliment brought the feeling of heat to your face and out of awkwardness you almost knocked your glass over as you reached for the wine.

“Want a refill?” You asked, holding up the second bottle of red that night. “You have good taste in wine, Mr. Evans, this wine is top notch,” you said, looking over the label of the wine he had brought with him.

Chris smirked and slid the glass to his left “I’m glad you think so, I’ll definitely have another. This should probably be the last one though, I feel like I’m overstaying my welcome.” He watched as you poured, your hair falling forward as the wine glass filled. “Cheers, thank you for the invite and many thanks for a delicious meal. You are constantly surprising me with your talents.”

“You aren’t overstaying. I’m enjoying your company and don’t want you to leave yet. Here, let me show you what I’m working on for this year’s event,” you said and pulled your phone out of your dress pocket and slid your finger across the screen. Shifting your body across the cushions toward Chris, you held the phone out towards him.  

“What is it you are putting on this year?”

“Another charity event, it’s to help out the single parents that live in the community. I try to donate as much time to charities as possible.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“I want everyone to have a special holiday season, you do it. I see that you donate time and money to charities.”

“I have the means to help and giving back is extremely important to me.” Chris looked through a few more of the photos before placing the phone down next to him on the couch.  

Reaching over to take her phone, Chris put his hand over yours and slid closer. “I know you always think I’m joking around with you when I say how much I love seeing you smile but I’m being 100% honest. Your smile is contagious and I feel like it lights up anywhere we are. It’s a beautiful smile and its part of why I’m so attracted to you.”  

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Oh shush, you!”  you said pushing your hand into his chest, your smile wider than he had seen before.  Again, he put his hand over yours and pulled you to him gently with his other hand.  He brought you close, enough to hold you against him for a hug. He watched as your eyes tried to find a joke hidden in his face but you quickly realized that there was something else there. You weren’t sure who moved first as your lips met quickly enough that your teeth clacked together and you swore in pain.  

“Oh fuck, only I would ruin an almost perfect moment. I’m such an-

He pulled you to his lips again, kissing you softly and trying not to laugh at the look on your face.

“Am I a joke to you, Evans?” you asked, kissing him back on the lips.

“Oh, not at all, I didn’t want to have to explain to people we know how I broke your teeth though. I mean, I could make up some ridiculous story about it, could be fun,” he chuckled.

You couldn’t help but throw your head back and laugh, bringing yourself back up to face Chris and pull him by his shirt towards you and kissing him without any stupid errors. You could taste the wine on him, the sweetness adding to the softness of your kiss. He took the lead, pulling you closer and slipping his tongue delicately across your bottom lip before deepening the kiss.  

Your eyes opened when you hear Chris let out a soft moan, not expecting to hear such a sound from him before you could emit one. He did it again and you felt it all the way down your spine and into your soul. Your hands, still in idiot mode, found their way to his hair, and were quickly taking apart his well-coiffed hair by running your hands through it.

“How does your hair smell so damn incredible?

“How do you taste so fucking delicious?

You pulled back, staring him in the eyes “Hmm, maybe you need to taste a bit more, clean that palate of yours,” you teased.

“Are you implying...”

“Not implying, the buffet is open, sir. Dig in.”

Chris’s face went a light shade of red.

“Oh, did I catch you off guard, Casanova?”

“I mean, no... no...’ he stumbled, “OK, fine yes, yes you did.”

“Well, now that you know, let’s get back to business. All right?”

You took control, standing up, taking his hand roughly and leading him to your bedroom.  

“I want you to take off my clothing, piece by piece. I want to see it on the floor and,” you said placing her finger on his lips, “no more talking,” you ordered.

“Anything you want,” he whispered into your ear and he ran his tongue down your neck so softly, that goosebumps raised over yours arms. His hands wandered from your shoulders and down your arms, taking hold of your hands and moving them to his belt buckle.  

Looking up to him, he nodded, silently urging you. Undoing the belt and still staring into his eyes. Moving to unzip his jeans and push the button away, Chris was unzipping the back of your dress, the cool line of metal touching your back as he drew the zipper down the length of your back.  

“You have goosebumps, do I need to warm you up?

“I’m hoping you get to that. Now, what did I say about talking?”

He smirked, pushing the dress down each shoulder until it dropped to the floor. Stepping out of it, you kicked it off with one foot, tossing it towards the wall. Chris’s hands were already roaming, his hands on your hips, fingers sliding into the thin elastic of your panties. His hands slipped across your warm flesh and directly to your cheeks, grabbing each one and squeezing, and pulling you closer to him. His lips were pressed into yours, his tongue back to searching for yours as he wrapped his arms around you and brought you to your bed. Gently, he sat you on the edge and leaned into you bringing you down to the mattress.  

His kisses ran down your sternum and across the soft skin of your breasts while his hands ran across the tops, gently running his fingers over your nipples.  

“Keep doing that, keep... keep touching my breasts, Chris.”

You could feel him pressing into you, his erection, warm and pushing against your core.

His hands squeezed your left breast while he brought his mouth down to your right, taking the nipple into his mouth, gently sucking it. Running his tongue around the bud, a chill running across your arms and a moan escaping your lips.

“I need to be in you now, please, y/n,” he said, kissing up your chest.

“In the drawer, condoms are there and hurry the hell up, Evans, I’ve waited forever for it to rain and fill up the well.”

He chuckled as he crawled over you, limbs knocking yours, a soft hand slapped across his ass, as you watched him open the nightstand drawer, which got stuck in his effort to hurry. “Come on Evans, you got this,”

“A little self-talk over there to get you motivated?”  

Chris smiled as he held up the package and smiled at you before sitting on the edge of the bed to roll the condom down his hard length. He was on you again, returning quickly, his lips pressing against yours. His lips, wet and warm, pushed harder against your mouth as he pushed your legs further apart, taking himself in his hand, rubbing across your wetness and pushing halfway. The groan that escaped his mouth while his tongue continued to touch yours, sent a tingling sensation down your body.  

“Chris, please...” you started to plead and before you could continue, he finished pressing himself into you with a grunt.

“Come on baby, show me how well you can move,” he said as he licked a strip across your neck.  

Wrapping your arms around his neck and shifting your body against his, you let out a wail. Your bodies moved together, the pace quick, the sounds of your wetness echoing throughout your room.  

“Listen to the sounds we’re making, baby,” Chris panted and drove deeper into you. His body was incredibly warm against yours, the sweat making his chest glisten in what light crept in from the hallway.  

Chris slipped his hand down and his fingers met your warmth, crawling in to press against your clit. You clenched around him; a low moan escaped his mouth as he continued his movements.

“A bit more, a bit more,” you groaned, your back arching as Chris sped up. You looked up at him and reached your hand up to his face, holding on and staring into his blue eyes as you felt the tingling ball up within.  

Faster than expected and with one last swipe of his fingers, your orgasm spread out from within. Your shoulders tingled, spreading down to your fingers as you yelped out, the warmth of pleasure flowing down and across your body. Chris had shifted to move into you, helping your orgasm along as his own shuddering began. His lips were pressed into your neck, your name crossing his lips as he slowed his pace, and leaned onto one of his arms. He continued kissing up your neck and met your lips, heavy breaths escaping from both of your mouths.

“You’re incredible Y/N. Incredible.” One more kiss was pressed to your lips before Chris sat up, heading to the bathroom. You watched the light turn on and the door close behind him. You rolled to your side; a smile of satisfaction crossed your face as you closed your eyes.

Your heart jumped when you were woken by blankets being pulled half off of your naked body. It took you a few seconds to realize that a man, a very handsome man, was sleepy peacefully beside you. Turning to face his back and shimmying closer, you pulled the blanket to cover your shoulders and back. His muscular back stared at you and you couldn’t help but raise your hand to the pale skin, bringing your fingertip to his warm skin and drawing lines to connect each freckle.  

“You, know, that feels incredible, please don’t stop,” Chris asked, his words muffled into the pillows.

You continued using his back as your canvas; swans, sunrises, all the beautiful pieces of the world this man helped you see.  

Pushing back into you Chris spoke, “I’m going to be away next week, so I’m hoping I can see you again before I head out of town?”  

Your fingers drew the word yes on his shoulder in response. Chris turned over to face you, pulling you closer to him for a soft kiss. When he pulled back you couldn’t help but smile and pulled him in for something a bit more passionate.

*

Bags packed and his dog set to stay with his family, he walked by the room Scott was in. “Hey, I’m heading out, the car is almost here. Give me a hug for the road.” His younger brother stood up and embraced him, giving him a few pats on the back and wishing him well for his short trip. “Will I see you when I get back or you heading back home?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be around still. Mom wants me to stay in town a bit longer. You okay if I’m still free loading off of you a bit longer than planned?”

“You know you’re more than welcome to stay,” he said as his phone chimed from his pocket. “Cars here. Take care of the fam and Dodger for me.” His brother gave him a smile and Chris grabbed his coat and carry-on from the table before heading to the front of the house. Dammit, he had forgotten to remind Scott again about what they had discussed earlier that day. “Scott, make sure you get that message to Y/N, okay? This schedule change was pretty last minute.” He shut the door before he heard a response from his brother. The driver held the door open for him and collected his bags to place in the trunk. He couldn’t get you out of his mind on the way to the airport; your smile, the scent of your hair, the warmth of your naked skin pressed against his. He couldn’t wait to be next to you again.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Ages ago, I asked people to send me scenes they wanted me to compared across the Skams, and then I kinda ignored it. This wasn't intentional, but rather because I wanted to do the scenes in chronological order. And the one I got for s1 was the Eva/Jonas breakup scene.

The issue is that Jonas is a very misunderstood character in international fandom. I felt like I couldn't begin to compare the scenes without getting into the fundamental conflict between Eva and Jonas, and I couldn't do that without getting into why Jonas hates Russetide, and I couldn't do that without a long post that was going to swallow up whole the other 7 versions of the scene.

I've never really let go of the idea of doing those comparisons, even though the anons that sent the original asks are probably long gone. I thought of a bunch of different ways to approach the asks, but nothing worked for me. Until recently, where I just decided to first explain Russetide, then compare the different Skam opening speeches, and THEN I will finally compare the breakup scenes.

But instead of explaining Russetide itself, which I think most Skam fans more or less understand, I'm going to explain SJEIKEN 2015. This song perfectly encapsulates what Jonas hates about Russetide. In fact, he quotes it in one of the scenes where he's being a dick to Eva!

Russetide is a tradition in all of Norway, but western Oslo (where Skam is set) is one of the richest areas in the country and, as such, they really go above and beyond with it. A bus is better than a van, the buses have to be decked out with the best sound systems. The crew has to have not just hoodies but also headbands and other merch, and it all has to follow the theme the crew has chosen. And if you really are the hottest of hot shit, then you actually commission legit artists to write a theme song for your bus. We can see this in s2, where the girls discuss The Penetrators theme song.

There are a bunch of different Norwegian artists that you can commission for your Russe song, but the most famous are probably TIX and the Pøssy Project. The Pøssy Project is a group of multiple songwriters, but all of its members have chosen to keep their identites anonymous because, as it turns out, ~Norwegian adults~ think everything I'm about to explain is trashy and disdainful. The one artist in The Pøssy Project that has always owned his participation in it is Andreas Haukeland, better known as TIX. (You might also know him as this year's ESC entry for Norway.) Why does TIX stand by these songs? Idk, probably because they're extremely popular, chart well, and make money, and by standing by them, he gets to perform them in gigs and profit off those creations.

SJEIKEN 2015 has featured twice in Skam, first in s1e1. It's also the song Pepsi Max is singing when they party at Sana's place in s4. And SJEIKEN 2015 featured so prominently in Skam because the song became a runaway hit the year before (the 2014-15 school year), breaking into the Norwegian charts as well as Spotify most playeds in Norway. It is a tremendously popular song that people loved.

So, who or what is SJEIKEN 2015 about? SJEIKEN is a 2015 Russe crew (meaning they graduated high school in 2015) who chose to make their Russe theme about... oil sheikhs. That is what sjeiken means. The song itself is about an oil sheikh called Sheikh Yer Bouti who declares tonight to be free of rules. His 400 wives are allowed to get drunk and be whores, just for tonight. Here are the lyrics:

Now, TIX has recently tried to become a mature artist, and so he was recently asked about SJEIKEN 2015 (again, a song he performs to this day). This was his response:

At a party, I met a girl who was crying over a boy she liked. She had built up her expectations that this would be the night she finally hooked up with him, but she was afraid that if she did, the guys would call her "whore". I thought about it a bit… It's actually quite true - if a boy hooks 10 girls at a party he is a legend, but if a girl hooks up with only one boy she may risk being called loose. That's absolutely ridiculous! So I said to her, "Tonight you are allowed to be a whore. Tonight you are allowed to hook up with him.”

And like, I just want to say this response is horseshit, first of all lol. But in case you for some reason thought this was supposed to be like a feminist anthem for a girls' russe buss (a crew like Los Losers for instance), let me share a picture of the SJEIKEN Russe crew:

(Count the moc... Oh wait, there aren't any.)

SJEIKEN (the Russe crew) also participated at a Russe event back in 2015. Here is how they chose to stage their song:

(The one thing I can say about this is that the boy playing a niqabi doesn't appear to have taken it off at any point, which is better than Skam Italia did.)

At this point, you might think that perhaps Jonas might have reason to be appalled that Eva, who he assumed shared his values, decided to get involved in Russefeiring. However, one other thing about Russefeiring is that literally EVERY YOUNG PERSON in Norway is supposed to love all of this shit. My evidence is very anecdotal, but I once asked a Norwegian high school student how many people aren't involved in Russefeiring. He said everyone is, the only people who aren't are the friendless losers. I also came across a Norwegian young woman's blog who said she preferred talking to people from abroad, because she didn't have to explain to them that she never actually did Russe, because to admit she hadn't, would immediately show her to have been a total outcast in high school. Like, this is an issue for people into their twenties.

So Jonas isn't just taking a stance to be cool, the fact that he is vocally opposed to Russefeiring in every way makes him (and the boy squad) total losers. In fact, Chris Schistad referred to Jonas as a nerd and the boy squad plainly wasn't in William's radar at all. It wasn't a thing like in Skam NL, where Kes' squad was leagues and miles above Noah's squad in terms of coolness (MOTHERfucker... don't even try to tell me Gijs was cooler than Kes lmao). Jonas would've been seen as a loser and a burnout, and that's what Jonas was talking about when he told Eva that she was always doing the popular thing to do. Because he very staunchly refused to participate in this tradition, despite the fact that doing so made him an outcast, because, for him, THAT was the moral thing to do.

Having read all this (you poor soul), and being on tumblr like you are, is it really that unthinkable that Jonas would think that Russefeiring and the culture associated with it is crap? Do you really think a 16-year old has the nuance to say, "you know, Russefeiring stands for everything I hate, but since you're friendless because of me, and this is your chance at having friends, I will put my ideals aside and support you in this." Absolutely not lmao. How many of you would even now shit on friends if they stepped outside the line of what tumblr considers woke? How many people on twitter turn on each other for transgressions like stanning the wrong Skams? Jonas was shitty because he was super rigid in what he considered the right way to behave, but in that sense, he was actually one of the most accurate portrayals of a specific type of Gen Z. Unlike idk, characters who quote fucking Animal Farm to talk about school festivals.

(And NOW that all of that has been established, I can finally begin dissecting season 1 lol.)

[mrthomasdoherty]

hi! i know you’re a chris/kurt stan, but i was wondering if you have any favorite blaine moments or blaine episodes? (also, i just wanted to say thank you for defending blaine/klaine so hard. so many kurt stans are so anti blaine and it really bothers me, so thank you for understanding where blaine is coming from too)

Hello there! General Kenobi.

Listen, I will defend Blaine Anderson on my death bed. The amount of shit people choose to hate him for is ridiculous and is more telling of them. Because there's enjoyment of enemies to lovers and then there's just extreme out of character "development" to make your enemies to lover ship seem like the better choice to canon because "omg abuse". Not here for it. Just enjoy your ship but keep the slander and hatred for Blaine Anderson out of it, wow so simple. Amazing.

Okay anyway. Favorite moments and episodes of one Blaine Anderson.

10. Never Been Kissed. I love his introduction. He grabs a strange dudes hand to take a shortcut, then pulls a fast one by being all "oh and by the way I'm a warbler so lemme serenade you real quick strange dude". WHO DOES THAT? It's ridiculous, it's perfect, and it's nice that he's introduced as someone who has also been through the hell of being bullied for something that defines him as a person, but still being the bigger person in the end and coming out stronger. He's there at the right time, the right place, and it's because of him that Kurt remembers he has a voice.

9. In season 6, watching him regain that confidence and stride that he had in season 2? Love it. It's nice to see that he went to therapy, stepped outside his box, and took a chance on something unexpected for himself (even if who he dates is stupid, and it makes me nauseous - I blame the writers for this stupidity and not the character. The character is just their pawn to get the viewers reaction). I like that he fights for Jane, I like how he confronts Rachel and Kurt and doesn't go easy on them in regards to the competition, and I like that even through the bullshit HE is put through he still doesn't let it consume him and make him into a bitter person. Plus, again, HE WENT TO THERAPY! I love that!

8. Dynamic Duets. Seeing Blaine take control of the school without anyone questioning him?! Amazing leadership. We see him being a great leader in other episodes, before and after this one, but this one really hits it on the head. He gets everyone to dress up as superheroes to help boost everyone's confidence, express themselves, and just get out of their box in such a creative and fun way. We see him struggling still with feeling like he fits at McKinley because the reason he transferred is gone and no longer his boyfriend. I like that we can see the struggle! He's lonely. He's depressed. He's trying so hard to be better at getting by, but we see the struggle emotionally and mentally. He almost transfers to Dalton again because he thinks it would be better for everyone. He has Sam now, and that's it (which, bleck blam, but it's still important this episode so whatever). We see how self-destructive he is but still comes out on top by doing something great for the community. I like seeing character development. I like seeing the tidbits of character thought process, because like Blaine I've been there. Wanting to feel apart of something where you feel WANTED not just accepted. — also this episode he shames Mr.Schue for not even noticing the trophy is gone which DRAG HIM ANDERSON!!! That hint of sass! LOVE IT. Also Nightbird as a whole? Yes. Good.

7. Puppet Master. I like seeing what would go on in Blaine's brain on drugs - is that weird? It's an interesting view into his subconscious. He doesn't handle things like everyone else with their fantasy world them being hot and desirable. Nope! Blaine wants to feel validated, appreciated, and interact with felt-people because real people have hurt him - but felt-people can't. Felt-people can be tossed aside without causing them harm. Felt-friends compliment his body. Felt-fiancé's do whatever you want (kinky - what were you going to do with Kurt puppet that night you tried to take him back from Sylvester, Blaine? Cheeky). I like this quirk. I just don't like the ending song, that's it.

6. I love his moments where he performs by himself or for Kurt specifically. There's something different about how he performs if Kurt is watching (Cough Syrup, Teenage Dream (acoustic & original), All of Me, Beauty School Dropout, Barely Breathing (though that's just a figment), It's Not Right) vs. when he's in a group number. He's good in every song he does, and maybe I just think he performs differently because I'm a sucker for the angst majority of those songs being but whatever. I like it.

5. Love the Blaine being dramatic as a whole. Remember his reaction to seeing Tina and Sam making out and then running down the hall? And how MUCH HE LOVES BUMPER BOWLING?! I do. It's amazing.

4. THE WHOLE THING WITH ELLIOTT!!! Why did they only have one scene together?! Elliott being so understanding, and supportive, and not at all thinking Blaine is this weirdo for just BARGING into his apartment the way he does. He just HANDS HIM A GUITAR and Blaine takes it and it WORKS. He lets Blaine vent, he doesn't take it personal, and then Blaine calms down and apologizes. AND THEN THEY JAM. The best thing. That friendship would've been god tier.

3. Also that sass. "Huh, that's so unlike you." "I would say bye, but I wouldn't want to make you angry." "Well, he's not coming out anytime soon." "Why dont YOU put it back because it's YOUR apartment?"

2. I also LOVE that he isn't perfect. I love that we see him struggle. It makes him more realistic. Seeing his body issues in season 5, the depression, the self-destruction, the people pleasing perfectionist, the meltdowns, the struggle - because we see him struggle and overcome it in the end. Despite everything he struggled with, he got his happy ending with his soulmate AND A CHILD. He's succeeding in life with a family!

1. Tested. The whole episode. His traumatic response to Kurt's traumatic response. His body and self-confidence struggles. His defensive attitude and self-destructing basically, before snapping that built-up wall and finally communicating with Kurt about what the underlying problem actually is. IT IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE FOR A REASON! For Blaine, for Kurt, for both of them. Because not everyone reacts to trauma the same! It isn't going to be pretty! It isn't rainbows and puppy dogs dancing on clouds. It's crumbling in silence, and trying to be stronger than you are, and shutting down, and not having processed something completely because life still goes on like the trauma never happened all around you. It doesn't stop. So you find ways to cope. Like eating too many cronuts that you gain more weight and start to slip down a self-loathing hill to the point where you make things up in your head because you're overthinking and not wanting to burden anyone, especially the person you admire and care for the most because then they'll be disappointed in you and that has to be one of the worst feelings. BUT IT ALL COMES TO A HEAD, and ugh. Love it. Dont care. I like the realism about it, angst and all.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Teenage Dream

CW: Pet whump/dehumanization/whump of a minor in 2nd section, some brief noncon references in 2nd and 3rd sections, gratuitous Katy Perry in every section because Chris wouldn’t fucking shut up until I wrote this.

---

“Come on, Aki, please? Please?” Tristan’s pleading is married to his big green eyes and his coppery hair shifting across his forehead. The perfect sincerity of his request would crack any facade of ironic detachment. And Akio is trying to look detached.

“Tris, nobody likes that fucking song.”

“That’s, that’s not true, ev-everyone does, it’s on on on the radio all the, the, the, um, the time,” Tristan counters easily, and Akio can’t exactly argue that. And he can’t say well nobody cool likes it, because of course Tristan wouldn’t know he was joking and not being mean. He can’t always tell what’s a joke and what isn’t, and Akio heaves the most dramatic sigh he can manage and allows the younger boy to pull him onto his feet, making a big show of dramatic reluctance as he goes stumbling forwards onto the practice mat. 

“Just because it’s on the radio doesn’t make it good, Tris.”

“But, but, but I like it, and-... and I had some, um… some ideas. Please, Akio?” 

There’s the big green eyes again.

Akio sighs, rakes a hand back through his hair only to have it flop back over his forehead, and smiles. “Yeah, fine. Okay, Tris, show me.”

“Yes! Awesome. Thank-... thank, thank you, Aki.” Tris pulls him in for a hug, crushing tight like nearly all of Tristan Higgs’ hugs are, and Akio tries to look aloof and above it all. Someone nearby wolf-whistles and Akio throws a middle finger in no particular direction in response. 

“Get a fucking room, Nakamura,” Lisa Huang calls out, stretching her legs off to the side. Akio changes the direction of his middle finger to aim directly at her.

“Yeah, but then you’d miss the show, Huang, and what would you do then?”

“Oh, oh, oh my God,” Tris mutters, his face bright red, but he’s bouncing on his toes and his fingers are tapping on Akio, so he knows it’s okay. “This, this, it’s not-”

“Hey, she’s just being a shit because she’s jealous I get the Tris hugs. Aren’t you, Huang?”

“Literally, I am going to melt into the floor from envy any minute now,” Lisa replies, sitting back on her hands. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to hug the Tristan Higgs and Akio Nakamura, huh? And yet-” She throws her hand over her forehead dramatically. “Neither of you ever notice me.”

“Sorry, Huang, my heart belongs to Tris.” 

“What?” Tristan’s eyes are wider than ever, not following the joke, it’s all so sincere to Tristan unless he’s mad, and then he seems to get sarcasm well enough. 

Akio just grins. “Kidding, Tris. Come on, show me the idea you had. I want to see, even if it means… listening to… that.”

“No, you’ll like it, Aki, I-I-I promise. Can, can, can you hit, um, um… play, Lisa?” Tris yells over the sound of the others talking, working out, practicing on the bars or the beams, the low-level noise the gym is always filled with. Akio and Tristan are officially not practicing today, but they’d both wanted to come here and Akio’s mom had been okay with driving them on her way to take Akio’s little sister to kiddie soccer, and Tris’s mom is going to pick them up later to take them home.

So here they are.

And here Tris is, convinced Akio should help him build a routine to Katy fucking Perry.

“Okay, Tris,” Akio says, and sits himself down at the edge of the mat next to Lisa Huang, legs crossed, elbows on his knees. “Here we go.”

“You know which song it’s gonna be, right?” Lisa says under her breath, finger hovering over the button on the ancient CD player that their coach lugs around. “You know it’s gonna be-”

“Yeah,” Akio breathes. “I know. Just hit the fucking button.”

Lisa laughs, presses play, and they watch Tris take a breath, shake out his shoulders as guitar starts up first. He flashes a smile at Akio over his shoulder.

You think I’m pretty, without any makeup on…

Akio manages to suppress a groan and watches Tris dance, the dancing is always effortless to him, natural rhythm running through him. 

“God, I wish men did music with their routines,” Lisa mutters. “He’d nail every single one.”

“He nails it anyway.”

“Yeah, but with a soundtrack.”

He takes position, runs, hits his mark, and flips three times, spins, and lands right as the voice sings, you make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream, slowly turning, dropping into splits and back up again. Akio feels his own legs tighten in sympathy. 

I can’t sleep, let’s run away and don’t ever look back

“I hate this fucking song so much,” Akio says, and watches Tris line up for his next run. 

“Yeah, but you like him,” Lisa points out.

Akio rolls his eyes. “Everyone likes Tris. He’s my best friend.”

Don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back-

Tris misses the landing this time and goes down hard, rolling across the mat. Akio’s on his feet before a second has passed, and by the time he makes it to Tris, the other boy is already laughing, shaking it off, ready to start again.

Akio helps him up to his feet, and fuck it, he’ll listen to the song again if he has to. He sits down next to Lisa again, but he can already see how it would work - he’ll move around Tris fluidly, they’ll match movements here and here and here, and then they can run past each other at just the right time…

Lisa looks at him sidelong. “Now, see, you’re getting into it.”

“He is.” Akio shrugs. “I just like seeing him all excited.”

“What would you do without Tristan Higgs, huh?”

Akio watches, carefully, as Tris nails the spin this time, watches him drop into the splits and back up, rock his hips. “I don’t know,” He says, finally. “Probably waste the fuck away, Huang.”

“Damn straight. Five bucks says you guys end up with one of those ‘if we’re not married by 30, we’ll marry each other and get eleven cats’ deals.”

Akio snorts. “I’m allergic to cats.”

There’s a silence. “What, is that your only problem with that plan?”

“I don’t see any downsides to the rest of it. Do you?”

---

Nancy clears off the breakfast table. Mr. Branch is long gone, up to his office for a meeting with a few state senators on a piece of legislation, something about changing a holiday over to another holiday or something. She isn’t all that interested, really, but Mr. Branch likes to talk through things with her or the little pet before he gives interviews or has meetings. Likes a sounding board.

She’s paid well enough to listen, now and then, to something she doesn’t much care about.

Still, it means she’s late getting the table cleared. 

She’s got her little radio set up in the corner, playing a soft rock station, just something to fill the silence broken otherwise only by the soft clinking of spoons on bowls. Mr. Branch had had oatmeal this morning, with fresh fruit and a drizzle of syrup on top, a scattering of almonds. Watching his figure, he says, with a smile, and Nancy always smiles back.

The coffee cup is going to have a ring, she’ll have to scrub that out, won’t she? Well, that’s not so bad. 

You make me feel like I’m livin’ a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, a woman’s voice blares out from the radio. 

Nancy wrinkles her nose. 

Teenagers, in her experience, are entirely too much trouble and don’t know a damn thing. A song glorifying that whole lack of self-control doesn’t exactly seem like a good idea to her. Teenagers are a hassle, messy and a struggle to care for, and she can’t figure out why Mr. Branch wanted to bring one into the house so badly.

Well, no.

She knows why.

She tries very hard not to think about it, but she knows.

Honestly, Baldur is probably the most well-behaved teenager she’s ever met. The poor thing doesn’t have enough memory to be ungrateful, and he’s not going to roll his eyes or talk back any time soon, is it? They train all those impulses out of them, in that WRU facility.

He wouldn’t dare.

She hears a soft scrape, the unmistakable shuffling footsteps of Baldur himself, and glances up at the door.

He’s peeking in, Mr. Branch’s skinny pet, hair hanging over his hazy green eyes, slightly narrowed in an attempt to see her in focus through the drugs he is fed each morning like clockwork, keeping him slow, docile, easy to control.

Maybe he doesn’t roll his eyes because he’d fall over if he had to do more than one thing at once, including simply standing up.

“Can I help you?” Nancy asks, adding a sharp edge to the question. Her stomach flips, as always uneasy when she’s alone with the pet. 

Baldur licks at his lips, carefully nudging the doorway open just a little more, his eyes shifting away from her and down to the floor. He’s barefoot and wearing a tailored sweater and slacks, like any high-class boy. What gives him away of course is the barefeet, and the collar at his throat, soft green leather that probably doesn’t feel any different than skin to him.

After all, he never takes them off.

Is he even fully aware he has one on?

“I… I like the song,” He says, slurring his words with difficulty. He sways a little, catches himself, sways again. Leaning against the doorframe for support. His eyes are so very wide, so deeply green. His narrow face is pinched with the effort it’s taking him to pull his thoughts together enough to speak. “On th’... the radio, Miss Nancy. Like th’ song.”

Nancy turns to glance at it, as though the radio had just appeared when he spoke about it.

Let’s run away and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back

He likes the song? He isn’t supposed to like anything.

She steps over to the radio and briskly changes to a different station. A warbling country song is halfway through, something about lights and a woman who left. Every light in the house is on…

Baldur flinches back.

He looks like a sad sort of kitten, and it makes Nancy feel angry and guilty in equal measures. She leans into the anger to avoid the hint of thought inside of her that makes her think perhaps she should push the damn thing out the front door, put him on a school bus with the field trip children, and pretend she has no idea how he got there.

Make him someone else’s problem.

But then she’d have to explain how she knew he was here in the first place for this long, wouldn’t she?

 “You know you’re not allowed music,” She chides him, and watches him sink back into himself. She swallows back the guilt. She’s not the one who signed up to spread his legs for Mr. Branch, now is she? No, the boy made a choice, and it’s none of her concern what led to it or that he regrets it now.  “What would your Sir say if he caught you skulking around eavesdropping on hardworking employees instead of taking a nap, hm? Or doing your exercises?”

“He would… be upset,” Baldur says, softly. “I’m sorry, Miss Nancy. I didn’t…” He swallows, again and again, as though there’s something in his throat. His head drops against the doorframe and she wonders if Oliver gave him too much this morning, if the poor boy is going to collapse into unconsciousness right here. “Please… please don’t tell him, Miss Nancy.”

Well, he better not collapse, because she sure won’t be picking him up if he does. He can lay right there and wait for Oliver to handle his disobedience. “I won’t, if you’re a good boy now. Go back to bed, Baldur,” She says, a little more gently this time. “Your Sir will want you well-rested this afternoon, his schedule is cleared then.”

He looks up at her, and for a second he looks incredibly young, and terribly frightened.

Her heart twists, before she can stop it.

I didn’t make him this. He chose it.

She hardens her expression against his fear. He’s afraid of Mr. Branch, she knows it well enough. He’s afraid, and he’s bruised at the wrists and ankles most of the time. Last week there were red marks around his neck at breakfast, and Mr. Branch would only mention a game, the poor love couldn’t stand forever, I suppose. 

And he’d laughed.

She turns away from the pet’s terror, rattles the plates together to make a point that he is dismissed. She won’t look at those wide green eyes again. He signed a contract, after all. What is it to her if he doesn’t like the fine print? 

“Yes, Miss Nancy,” He says softly, and in a second he’s gone. She listens to the fading shuffle of his footsteps along the hallway, the sound of Oliver’s bedroom door opening and closing. He’ll be out before ten minutes has passed, she has no doubt. He’ll sleep away the morning like he sleeps away so much of his life. 

She makes a note to herself to be out of the residence before Mr. Branch comes back after lunch, ignoring the needling stab of something in the back of her mind, something very like guilt.

He’s a boy.

No, she reminds herself firmly. He’s a pet. And he chose to be one.

She turns the radio back to the soft rock station and tells herself she won’t think about him again.

---

“You think I’m pretty, without any makeup on,” Chris sings along with the mp3 player in the kitchen, dancing around with a wooden spoon up to his mouth like a microphone. “You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong, I know you get me, so I let my walls come down… do-oh-own…”

His voice cracks on the high note, but Jake holds back any reaction, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on the countertop that he’s beginning to think is just part of the stupid house now. When does a stain stop being a stain and become a fixture?

And here you’ll see the sign of where I spilled pasta sauce and didn’t notice until the next day and what the fuck is the countertop even made of…

Not that Nat will sell this house, she’ll probably stay here until she’s a decrepit old woman surrounded by rescues taking care of her. The house is Nat, in a way that Jake can’t define and doesn’t really try. She’ll be telling people an epic story about it being a bloodstain or something one day, all wrinkled and gray-haired.

“My heart stops when you look at me,” Chris sings, and Jake watches his hair fly around as he spins, the copper catching yellowed morning sun through the kitchen window. 

Should he tell Chris that he doesn’t stammer when he sings?

The barcode on the inside of his left wrist is the black blot marring the moment, the numbers etched in ink, an instant giveaway if he stepped one foot out the door around the wrong people. Here, he’s safe to show it. Here, he’s safe.

Mostly.

As safe as Jake can make him. 

Jake’s rib still aches, off and on, but his black eye is gone and he’s back at school. It’s all back to normal, now, and Chris is right here where he belongs, where people love him, where Jake would take a bullet for him.

He can’t get the image of the shivering, shaking, terrified boy in the video he was shown out of his head. The way they laughed at his fear, the way he’d already learned to put out his hands to be hit when he was caught tapping to soothe himself. 

He can’t stop seeing that boy and his fear layered over Chris’s easy joy now. 

“This is real, so take a chance and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back,” Chris winks at him, or tries to - really he just sort of closes one eye horribly slow - and then goes back to humming along with the music. He dances effortlessly, and Jake wonders if he danced, before he was frightened in a white t-shirt and black shorts, before he had a barcode on his wrist, before they stuck a needle in his arm and took out everything that made him whoever he’d once been.

What did Chris do, before he was Chris, before he was the pet, before whatever went wrong for him? Did he take dancing lessons? Did he get good grades in school? He kind of acts like maybe he did, doesn’t he? He seems like he wants to try so hard for anyone who believes he can do something... 

He can do backflips and cartwheels and climb trees, plays basketball with Miss Ruth’s grandson and his friends while Jake watches through a window, worried that he’ll be taken the next time, but not willing to lay that fear on Chris.

He’s scared of so much. Jake doesn’t want to add more terrors to the boy’s nightmares.

“I’m-a get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight,” Chris sings, wearing a baggy t-shirt of Jake’s and baggier basketball shorts. Chris, who crawls into Jake’s bed more nights than not, ever since the raid, who sleeps curled up against him for warmth and safety.

Chris, who doesn’t test him anymore, but admitted that he’s scared that it will happen again. Who told Kauri, in whispers in the dark, that he’s never wanted to be with anyone, that it was always fear and pain and holding screams back behind his teeth while forcing himself to make the sounds they trained into him.

Jake’s stomach flips with nausea, guilt for something he couldn’t possibly have prevented. It’s not his fault, but it feels like it is, he feels like he should have psychically known the kid was out there and gone to find him.

He would have.

If anything ever happens to him again, Jake won’t stop until he finds him. He knows that. He understands that, with perfect certainty.

They’ll never take Chris, they could raid the house a hundred times, and Jake would make sure Chris never went back into that hell, no matter what. No, Chris gets to be safe, here, singing and dancing around the kitchen, like any teenager enjoying a moment where he wants to be a dork, and doesn’t care who sees it.

Jake smiles a little, giving up and sitting back in a chair at the table, watching Chris dance while he dries off a dish, goes up on tiptoe to put it in the cabinet, turns back, warbles, “My heart stops when you look at me…”

Did Chris have a girlfriend, or boyfriend? A partner? Just, like, a best friend even? Someone he cared about like this? Does this song tap on some buried memory or impulse towards loving someone? Jake just watches him dance, and sing, and smiles.

He doesn’t even protest when Chris starts the song over as soon as it stops.

I came back for you, he thinks. Just like I promised. Do whatever you want, I’ll be right here. I’m right here. You’re safe.

Jake hears a slight sound and turns to see Nat in the doorway watching as well, in her housecoat but with her braid done carefully up, arms crossed in front of her. Chris doesn’t pause, if he even notices her, just keeps dancing as he empties the dishwasher piece by piece with his back to the door, signing in a soft, slight, cracking voice along with the higher voice coming from the speakers.

Nat looks less shadowed, now, and her bruises have faded away.

Still.

WRU came to round up a pet, and Nat and Jake protected him, and fuck it-

If he wants to listen to music Jake hates, let him. He’s a kid. Let him be a kid.

Chris has lost enough.

Let him have joy.

---

“Do you remember this?” Akio can’t stop himself from asking, even though it’s a total crapshoot as to what Tris’s answer will be.

Not Tris. Chris.

The knowledge hurts, it’s a knife in Akio’s stomach every single time, that Tristan was lost so thoroughly that the man who showed up with his face and his blood and his bones didn’t remember his own name until he saw the video with Akio and had… some kind of breakdown or something. 

But Chris is so close, and Akio uses that to remind him that it means Tris is close, that he was never fully gone. He’s still here. He just looks a little different, now, he’s quieter, but it’s all still there, bubbling up and sinking beneath the surface again, leaving imprints of memories that make it easier for Chris to grab onto them and hold tight the next time. 

The way he smiles, the way he taps and rocks and sways and stammers, it’s all still there. It’s all still Tristan Higgs, in the end, and Chris Stanton and Tristan Higgs are the same fucking guy. The teenager in Akio’s memories and stored in old photos and videos on his computer and his phone is the same person as the man sitting next to him. 

One just… lived through some stuff the other one hadn’t yet, and has the scars - inside and out - to show it.

“I, I, I don’t know,” Chis says, leaning forward, looking at the video Akio’s pulled up on his laptop. They’re at an outdoor café, with the sun shining warm on their backs. Chris’s hair is starting to grow back in, the occasional blue tip fading back to new-penny copper, and the bandages are off of his face and neck. His forehead’s going to have a wicked fucking scar, though.

Chris says he doesn’t care, that it shows that he could change himself, when he needs to. That he isn’t just here to be changed by other people. His shoulder brushes Akio’s as he cocks his head. “Sorry, stuff… um, comes and, and, and goes.”

“That’s okay. Here, I’ll press play. We had this one finished, more or less, but we never recorded the full bit.” Chris nods, holding his coffee up to his mouth to sip at it. 

Akio hits play, and the guitar starts up.

Chris laughs, and it’s Tristan’s laugh - bright and unselfconscious, loud enough to get a glance from someone nearby reading a book, before they look back down again. “I love, I, I, I love this this this song!”

“Oh, Christ.” Akio laughs, too, he can’t stop himself. “Of course you’d still like that song. Of all the things you lost, you kept Katy Perry?”

You think I’m pretty, without any makeup on…

The routine starts with Tris and Akio together in the middle of the mat, watching each other, hands linked. As she starts to sing, they shift apart, and Chris watches, enraptured, so close to the screen that Akio almost can’t see it anymore himself, not that he’s watching the screen.

He’s watching Chris, instead.

Chris’s foot taps to the beat and he starts to rock a little, forward and back, biting down on his lower lip with his teeth as the Akio and Tristan on the screen separate enough to hit their separate corners. Tris runs forward - then Akio does, a half-beat later.

You make me feel like I’m livin’ a teenage dream

They match flips and spins. Tristan lands and then Akio does, spinning to look at each other, laughing as Tris drops into a split and then up again and Akio… definitely doesn’t do that. Akio can do a lot of things, but he is not risking that particular move, not the way Tristan does it-

Or… did it.

Let’s go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love…

“I, I, I remember doing this,” Chris whispers. “I, I made my mom pretend to to to, to, to, to-to be you in the backyard when I made, made it up. She was a really, really bad dancer.” He winces, rubbing at the side of his head.

Akio nods, slowly, leaning in, looking at Chris as he watches himself dance on the screen. He’s squinting against the ache, but still watching. “Yeah, but she would do anything you wanted her to. I can see her trying to keep up.” He pauses, lets the tinny music play from his laptop speakers along with the noise of the gym around them as Akio and Tristan do another run. Akio doesn’t quite hit his landing on that one, but they don’t stop, dancing towards and around each other with easy, effortless understanding of each other’s space. 

“You, you, you hated Katy Perry,” Chris says, softly. His fingers twitch, holding tightly to his coffee cup. “But, but-”

“But you fucking loved that shit,” Akio says, with a grin. 

“I, I, I still do. Laken hates it, too.”

“See, I knew I liked them for a reason. You and my sister used to sing ‘Firework’ at me until I thought I was going to lose my fucking mind.”

“I, I, I still sing it to Laken. They, they throw pillows at me.” Chris hits the space button, pausing the video, and turns to look at Akio. His eyes are still so wide, in his narrow face, and so earnest and uncertain. Akio swallows. It feels like stepping sideways through time, every time Tristan’s eyes look at him in Chris Stanton’s face. “Were you, you, you good… without me? Did you, um, do okay?”

Akio’s smile softens into something sadder. “After a while. I got back on track, but for a year or so… I guess I just wasted away without you. You want to hear something stupid?”

“Al, always.”

Akio huffs out laughter, and digs his phone out of his pocket. He taps a few times and then lays it on the table between them. “Look at this.”

Chris looks down, fingertips just grazing the phone case, and his lips press together into a line as his eyes glimmer, shimmering with tears that don’t quite fall. “Wh-what-”

“It’s all the music you like that I hated,” Akio says, voice hoarse and rough. “I made this playlist a month after your aunt said-... you know.”

“It’s, it’s, it’s called ‘I Miss Tris’,” Chris says, softly. His voice sounds awed. Like he’s looking at something sacred and not Akio’s stupid ‘having a bad night’ playlist. “And the, the, the first song-”

“Fucking Teenage Dream.” Akio watches Chris scroll down the list, pretends he doesn’t see the droplet of saltwater that lands there, that Chris quickly wipes away with his sleeve, rubbing at his eye with the back of his hand. “It’s been, what, six or seven years since, you know, your parents, and… god, I’ve gotten a new phone every couple years and I still have this fucking playlist. Still listen to it, too. Whenever I want to mope around being sad about you.”

“In… in there… they, they, they tell us no one misses us.” Chris’s voice is low. He doesn’t look up. “That, that, that our lives were so so so-so bad that this was better. That no one… no, no, no one missed us being gone, no one wants us, that we-we-we weren’t… worth loving. I believed it. And my-... um.” Chris flushes, just a little. “He told me I, I, I, I wasn’t something you could-could love.” Chris’s eyes go distant, and he seems to sink back into himself a little, hunching his shoulders. “P-pretty, but, but, but not… worth being more than I was.”

Akio’s jaw works, fighting a mix of grief and rage that threatens to knock him to the floor, drown him in the intensity of it. He’s been hearing bits and pieces, whenever Chris feels safe enough to let one more bit of the horror that made up his past few years slip out.

Akio wonders what it’s going to do to his career if he goes public as a lib activist, and if he even gives a fuck about that anymore.

If Vincent Shield can do it, he can too, right?

Then again, Vincent Shield wasn’t about to be publicly not straight for the first time and also a pet lib activist. Akio’s mom and dad are going to be so pissed when he tells them his idea-

He doesn’t care.

His parents aren’t going anywhere. Neither is Ben, whatever he and Ben are, neither is Tristan Higgs.

Not this time.

Nobody else should have to listen to someone they loved come back from the dead and hear them say they told me no one loved me, they told me no one missed me, they told me no one cared. 

So... maybe Akio can go up on the fucking pedestal, medal around his neck, and tell WRU to go fuck themselves. Maybe he can tell Chris’s Aunt Jo to go fuck herself specifically.

You told us he was dead, and you gave him to people who made him believe he was nothing, and you thought we’d never find him. And we didn’t.

God, he had to find us. 

His career’s going to go down in flames if he does what he’s planning, and Akio Nakamura is rapidly discovering he no longer cares. 

“Loved. You were-... loved.” His voice is tight and strained, cracking on the edges of his words. His hand curls into a fist on his thigh where it’s resting, digging his nails into his palms. “And missed. We would have-... we would have wanted you, Chris. My mom and I, my little sister won’t admit it, hell my dad… we missed you. Those assholes just wanted you to lose hope. And I’m glad the fucker who hurt you is dead.”

“They, they, they take everything. Aki,” Chris pushes Akio’s phone back to him, and looks back at the laptop screen, an image of himself, years ago, flashing a brilliant smile, with Akio rolling his eyes in return as they pressed their hands palm-to-palm, frozen mid-move. “But, but, but it’s not really gone. I remember how, how, how much you hate this song. And, and, and I remember that you still danced it with me. So, so, so that’s a start, right?”

“It’s a start.” Akio presses the button to start the video again. “And we’ve got plenty of time.”

---

Tagging: @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @endless-whump, @whumpfigure, @slaintetowhump, @astrobly  @newandfiguringitout  , @doveotions  , @pretty-face-breaker, @boxboysandotherwhump  , @oops-its-whump  @moose-teeth  , @cubeswhump  , @cupcakes-and-pain  @whump-tr0pes  @whumpiary  @orchidscript, @itallcomesdowntopain

[chillassimagines]

New Experiences (CNCO Smut Preference)

(REQUESTED)

[ calling the boys d a d d y and s q u i r t i n g for the first time ]

JOEL:

“Come here!” You jumped up from the sofa and ran at Joel. Running into his arms made you feel a happiness you’ve only felt when he returns to you.

“I’ve missed you so much, Y/N.” He spoke softly in your ear while swaying your bodies back and forth.

“I’ve missed you too and I love you so much.” You pulled your head from on top of his chest to lean up and kiss him.

“And I love you...but don’t think I forgot about that photo you sent.” He gingerly grabbed your chin in his hand to maintain eye contact with you. Before he got on his flight to come home, you sent a very racy photo his way. Joel recalled being slightly rude to the Uber driver about hurrying up, which he hated that he did it, but he needed you.

“It was a little motivation to come home to me...as soon as possible.” You gave him a huge grin as you laughed mischievously.

“Well, I’m here, Mami.” He leaned down to press kisses onto your neck.

“And I’m ready, Daddy.” You bit your lip, praying he would react well. You wanted to try it when he returned, hoping the photo would smooth it over well. You heard a sharp inhale of breath right next to your ear.

“Well, after that, I don’t think you really are ready.”

-

“Fuck, Joel, please! Let me cum!” You begged him as he thrust his fingers inside of you once more, hitting you right where you needed it.

“Who?”

“Daddy, please, let me cum. I’ll do anything.” You whimpered as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. At that, he pulled his thick digits away from you.

“Anything?” Joel asked, before suckling at his soaked fingers. You moaned softly while watching him and nodded.

“Yes, daddy.” He reached down and grabbed your wrists to move them above your head.

“Don’t move your hands and I’ll let you cum, okay?” You nodded quickly in agreement, making him chuckle softly. His lips lowered to your naked abdomen, slowly kissing down to where you were throbbing and aching for a release.

“Please hurry.” You cried softly, feeling his cold cross necklace slide against your slit.

“I will, baby.” He pressed a wet kiss right against your slit before opening his mouth to delve his tongue in between your folds. His torture was slow and deliberate, making your hips buck up. Joel seemed to enjoy it as he grabbed the undersides of your thighs to press his face further into your heat. His tongue began its fast pace and there was no going back.

“That’s it, fuck!” You grabbed fistfuls of your own hair, wishing it was his, as your hips wildly followed their own accord in humping Joel’s face. He hummed loudly as he suckled on your clit. “Ah! I’m cumming, yes, daddy!” You damn near screeched as your high hit you like a truck. You felt an odd sensation in between your thighs, but the orgasm was too strong for you to focus on it. You arched your back up so high you thought you’d break it.

You suddenly felt Joel’s hands grab your breasts, making your attention switch to the man between your thighs. His curls hid his actions, but he appeared to be enamored with licking away every last drop of you. The hypersensitivity made your legs shake around his head at every movement.

“Joel, I can’t, you have to-fuck!” You gasped and your toes curled up so hard as he kitten licked your clit while looking up at you. You reached a hand down into his mess of curls and tugged. He never ceased his stare down as you threw your head back.

“Mami...you just squirted all over my face.” Joel spoke in a happy teasing tone. He kissed up in between your breasts to soon hover over you and look at you with a smile.

“That was the best thing I’ve ever experienced.”

ERICK:

“She is uh, my best friend, my “partner in crime”, y-I mean and, I can’t wait for you all to see her in the video.” Erick spoke at his laptop. You smiled at him in the corner of the living room. You had situated yourself onto a bean bag while Erick did his online interview during quarantine. You were beyond thrilled that the music video had been filmed before all this mess and that their second single to the new album would be released on time.

He glanced at you momentarily and you gave him two thumbs up with a smile. He returned the smile before looking back at his computer. Erick never thought he’d fall in love with someone whose first language was English and they had minimal experience with Spanish. However, you two make it work. Granted, his English skills are superior to your Spanish, and he’s only getting better with latin music inter grating into the United States charts. He does more English interviews and you’re always there to support and help him.

“Thank you! ¡Adiós!” Erick waved at his screen for a few seconds before completely shutting it. He sighed and looked over at you. You grinned and made your way over to him. You stood between his legs and ran your fingers through his hair.

“You did so well, bebé.” Erick’s hands made their way to your behind so he could pull you onto his lap.

“Gracias mi amorcito.” Your lips met, but Erick took it to a passionate level. “Te quiero.” He whispered against your lips and you smiled, knowing you had felt him harden underneath you.

“Really? I can’t tell.” You teased, brushing your nose against his.

“I can show you then.” He squeezed your ass and brought you to grind against his hard on. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“Mmm, what do you want, Papi?” You brought one hand down to slide right underneath the waistband of his boxers. He grunted lowly.

“You.” He commanded, making you waste no time in undoing his pants and sliding them down his thighs. “Alto.” He demanded as you reached down to remove your light blue dress. You raised a brow.

“You wanna fuck me with my dress on, Papi?” You teased. He nodded and gripped the back of your neck to kiss you once more. You peeled back his boxers enough so he was free. Your underwear was non existent today, which Erick noticed after you lifted up your dress.

“Ándale, amor.” He ordered, bringing his hands down to your ass again. It was his favorite place for his hands to be. You slowly lowered yourself onto his length with a sweet sigh.

“So big, Papi.” You moaned right against his ear and bit down lightly on his neck. He grunted again before thrusting up into you, prompting you to move. You gripped the back of his head as you bounced up and down on top of him. His hands urged your fast pace on your ass.

“C’mon amor, puedes ir más rápido.” He reached under your dress and slapped your bare ass. You gasped in shock as it had pleasured you and made you even more excited.

“I’m close!” You whimpered reaching up with one hand to lower the neckline of your dress. No bra either. Erick was quick to wrap his lips around your nipple as you continued riding him like there was no tomorrow. “I’m gonna cum, Papi.”

“Not. Yet.” Your eyes widened. Erick immediately slowed your pace down with his grip on your backside. It was more of a heavy grind now.

“¿Por qué?” You whined. One hand of his came down in between your bodies and his thumb pressed right against your clit.

“Cause I said.” He challenged you with his eyes, but you wouldn’t dare. His lips returned to your nipple and softly licked it while resting his head on your other breast. His thumb however, sped up to an unforgiving pace.

“Oh fuck.” You moaned breathily. You had a deadly grip on the back of his neck as you fought your urge to cum. You had unconsciously begun to bounce up and down again, making Erick moan deeply against your breast, sending it straight to your core. “Please Papi, no más.” You pleaded, ready to cum all over him.

“No.” He simply stated. You whined and threw your head back, as he pinched your clit.

“Holy shit.” You gasped, loving the feeling of it. He smirked and scooted to the side before laying you down on the sofa. Your eyes widened as much as they could through your sex haze as he took your thighs and wrapped them around his waist. He thrust into you harshly and never let up after that. “Papi!” You cried which made him grab your hands and intertwine them against the arm of the sofa.

“You wanna cum, huh?” He asked. You nodded quickly. He smirked and let go of one hand, bringing his thumb back down to your clit. “Cum then, bebé.” You cried as he showed no mercy in his thrusts or his finger movements. You took your free hand to grip his neck and press his mouth to yours while you felt liquid gushing out of you. Erick pulled his swollen mouth back from yours quickly to look down in between you two. He groaned as he felt himself release inside of you, but he was so distracted by the fact that everything was glistening.

“Papi, you know what that is?” You asked breathlessly. He shook his head.

“It’s called squirting.”

CHRIS:

“Guess what day it is?” Chris asked in a sing song voice while wrapping his hands around your waist.

“I know what day it is, Christopher.” You laughed and cupped his face in your hands.

“The day we make my niño.” He grinned happily and you shook your head.

“What are you gonna do if it’s a niña?” You asked teasingly. He bounced his head side to side in faux thought, then shrugged.

“Tendré dos princesas.” You smiled with him and pressed a long kiss to his lips.

“You’ll be a daddy.” He raised a brow.

“I definitely already am.” You dropped your jaw.

“¿Cariño, tu piensas que no se? I saw your messages with Naomi.” You and your best friend, Naomi, may have talked about kinks you wanted to try on a few different occasions. None you’d ever been brave enough to bring up to Chris. You specifically remembered ‘Daddy’ being a frequent topic, because that’s the aura you received from Chris 9/10 times.

He was firm with what he wanted in the bedroom, but his aftercare, and when he wants to pleasure you? That’s a real daddy right there. His aftercare would always be inticing to you, because he’d find away to keep the sexual tension going, and sometimes that ended in another orgasm. When I say sometimes, I mean. Every. Single. Time. He loved to deny you orgasms, or give you so many you were jello.

“Chris, I-”

“No cariño, dime.” You gaped at him in awe for a minute. He wanted to go down this road and he was driving quite well. He definitely brought the bedroom voice out.

“Daddy...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Didn’t know how you’d react.” You cupped his face in your hands, while he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“You will be sorry.” He grabbed your hand from his face and used it to pin your body against the wall. His free hand unzipped your leggings so he could press his fingers against you through your panties.

“Do something...please, daddy.” He hummed and began rubbing soft slow circles onto your bud. You whimpered. “Más, por favor, Papi.”

“Me gustarlo.” He released your hand so his other could assist in pulling down your pants and panties. Chris got down on his knees and began kissing your thighs. “Bebé...eso es emoncionado.” He gripped the skin of your thighs in various places hard enough to create multiple hickeys.

“More?” You whispered out, hoping he would give you what you desired. He shrugged.

“I don’t know who you’re talking to.” He ran his pointer finger down your slit once. You shivered from his touch and whined.

“Daddy, I need more.”

“Good girl.” His lips wrapped around your clit, making juicy and wet noises he produced with his mouth. You fucking loved it.

“Oh my god, yes. Oh god, I love you. Yes, right there, right there!” You cried out and gripped his hair with a deadly force. His eyes were closed, but it made it feel so much more passionate. He didn’t need his vision to know how to make you feel.

“You want more?” He paused and asked, taking a breather.

“Please daddy.” He placed his thumbs on both your folds to spread them apart. His tongue slid into the middle and began flicking your clit back and forth. “I’m cumming, right here, right now!” You cried as you released. You took a deep breath, but Chris was already on his feet, grabbing your hand, and leading you back into your bedroom for the rest of the night.

“No listos, cariño.” He removed his top and you felt the need to do the same. He also removed his pants and boxers in one go. You loved to be naked in front of each other, it fueled the sexual desire for you both.

“Cómo?” You gestured to the bed. Chris took both of your hands in his.

“On your back. Legs wide for me, mamita.” Chris would call you every name in the book to get you worked up. He turned you around so your back faced the bed. You sat down on it and Christopher let go of your hands as you situated yourself. His eyes never strayed from your body. “We’re making a baby tonight.” He spoke confidently and crawled on top of you.

“Please daddy.” You felt ready for another round with the way his eyes ate you up.

“You want me?” He asked, trailing his fingers down your thigh and hooked his hand underneath it.

“Yes, so bad. I need you inside of me...cumming inside of me.” You brought a hand up to cup his face while his other hand followed his previous actions. You felt his member press right up against you.

“Mmm, I guess that can be arranged.” He slowly pushed himself all the way inside of you, making you both let out long simultaneous groans of pleasure. He began rocking back and forth inside of you, using your legs for more leverage for deep thrusts.

“Oh fuck!” You whimpered out, digging your nails into his chest. He hissed through his teeth.

“Not so hard, mami.” He spoke firmly. You immediately let up, not wanting a prolonged orgasm.

“You just, you fuck me so well, Daddy. It feels, so good!” You cried at the end as he hit your favorite spot.

“Mmm, mami, right there, huh?” He grunted as he purposefully hit it again, making you beg for more.

“Yes! Faster, Daddy, please!” Chris did not disappoint. The sound of skin slapping together at a harsh pace soon followed your request. He hit it. Every. Time.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Y/N.” He panted out to you. You nodded and brought his face down to yours with both of your hands.

“C’mon, Daddy. Baby, cum.” You cooed to him, nearly closing your eyes at the intense pleasure. With two more harsh smacks of his skin against your own, he stilled deep inside of you.

“Shit.” He whispered, pressing his wet forehead against yours as you felt the pressure of his cum spread inside of you. You felt Chris lift your legs while staying inside you. You smiled, knowing he’s read one or two things about conception. “Te amo.” He whispered to you.

“Te amo, Chris.” You leaned up slightly to press your lips to his softly. The delicate kiss turned naughty when Chris’ lips suckled on your bottom lip. You moaned, prompting Chris to slowly thrust inside of you.

“I need more, mami.” He whispered against your lips. You smiled once more, knowing Chris’ stamina was not a short one.

“Take it, Daddy.” You nipped at his upper lip teasingly. He grunted in response to you and lifted your legs even higher to rest on his shoulders. You crossed them behind his neck, making sure he couldn’t lean back up away from you.

“I will.” His hands dipped under your back and made his hands grip your shoulders. He began rocking your bodies back and forth together. The temperature increased due to your close proximity and it made it so much more intimate. Sadly, you felt your orgasm coming so soon.

“I’m gonna cum, Chris.” One of his hands abandoned your shoulder and reached down between your hot bodies. “Fuuuck.” You sighed, your eyes rolling into your head while his thumb attacked your clit mercilessly.

“Cum for me, mamita.” His lips latched onto your neck, no doubt creating a bruise. You gasped, feeling like you couldn’t breathe as you began your release. You scratched at his back, making him thrust quickly into you. You kept trying to find air to inhale, but it felt like there wasn’t any. “Mami!” He hissed, but you ignored him and everything, not being able to open your eyes from their current state.

You felt him pull out of you, making your release your nails from his skin, and your legs falling limp on the bed. You finally felt yourself being able to control your eyes and opened them. Chris was staring in between your legs and at his hand.

“Chris?” You called for him, still trying to recover from an unforgettable orgasm.

“Y/N, you came, like everywhere.” You looked down between your legs and observed his glistening hand.

“Oops?” He chuckled and licked his hand.

“I’ll run the bath for us, huh?” You nodded with a lazy smile, unconsciously resting your hand on your stomach.

ZABDIEL:

“¿Hey, tú quieres comida, bebé?” You asked Zabdiel while he was laid on the sofa in his boxers and a tank top, watching a telenovela.

“¿Cómo qué?” He looked up at you, abandoning his eyes from the screen. You always appreciated that about Zabdiel. If he was talking to you, 99% of the time he’d dedicate his attention to you.

“No sé.” You laughed and he joined you. “Pero, puedo hacer algo.” He hummed and reached out his hand for you to take. You placed your hand in his and he led you around to the front of the couch. He pulled you on top of him and you chuckled in confusion at his odd actions.

“No sabemos que queremos, amor.” You hummed, mocking him, and leaned your head down on his chest.

“We can just cuddle then till we decide.” You began adjusting yourself till Zabdiel’s hands shot down to grip your waist.

“Alto, bebé.” Your eyes widened when you realized Zabdiel was growing hard under you.

“Oh shit, my-“

“We can do something besides cuddle, amor.” His hand ran over your hair softly. You looked up at him to find a little grin on his face.

“Zab, I’m hungry.” You whined.

“So am I.” He winked and stuck his tongue out. If your eyes could get bigger, they would have.

“¿Tú quieres...?” You trailed off, unsure. One of his hands lowered to your ass and gave it a little pinch, making you jump.

“Mucho.” Zabdiel had never, ever eaten you out. It was just something that hadn’t been prompted yet in the bedroom. “Pero...aquí, mi amor.” On the couch?!

“We can go to the bedroom-"

“No quiero. Ahora, bebé.” He gestured to you, and you knew he meant business. You began unbuttoning your jeans and stood up to be able to pull them down. Zabdiel didn’t move an inch which made you very confused.

“Zab, I need to lay back.” You spoke, slightly timid. You were nervous, truth be told. He shook his head and pointed to his lips.

“Right here.” He wanted you to sit on his face?!

“O-Oh.” You slowly peeled off your panties to join your jeans. You stepped closer to the couch and Zabdiel shook his head.

“Top. Off.” He ordered. You bit your lip and removed your top, revealing your bare breasts. “Hmm, no bra?” You felt very cheeky in that very moment.

“¿Te gusta, Papi?” You winked playfully, expecting Zabdiel to laugh. However, his eyes narrowed slightly.

“Get up here, Y/N.” You nearly passed out at his dominance. Your shaky leg hooked over past his shoulder on the fairly wide couch, allowing your other knee to rest on the opposite side.

“Say it again, amor.” His hands came down to your hips and rubbed soft circles into your skin.

“You want me to say...Papi?” You questioned. He nodded and pulled you up to his lips. He looked up at you expectantly. “Papi, please.” You spoke softly, bring your hand down to run your hand through his blonde hair.

“Así, amor.” You watched his tongue exit his mouth and connect with your heat. You inhaled quickly at the sensation. Your hand instinctively gripped at his hair as he continued exploring you. It’s one thing to do it with his fingers or even just his member, but it’s another when he uses his tongue and his eyes up close and personal.

“Papi, más por favor.” You whimpered, tilting your head up towards the ceiling. One of Zabdiel’s hands landed with a harsh smack on your ass, making you jump.

“Look down here, mi amor.” You followed his order and maintained eye contact with him. It made the ordeal so much more intense and dare you say, naughty. His lips latched onto your sensitive nub and proceeding to nibble softly with his lips, making you moan like a porn star.

“Papi, I’m close! Fuck, just like that, Papi. Yes!” Your hips began gyrating against his face and he seemed to bask in it. His moans caused vibrations to go right towards your pending orgasm. His dark eyes never left yours and when you found yourself wiggling your head around his never faltered.

“Don’t cum.” Your jaw dropped in simultaneous pleasure and shock.

“Papi, please, I-” Zabdiel plunged his wet tongue into your even wetter hole. You cried out as he thrust his tongue quickly. Your hands released his hair and gripped the arm of the sofa. “Zabdiel, I’m gonna-” And just like that you found yourself laying on your back.

“What did you just say?” Zabdiel asked in a dark tone. Your eyes were wide but also the sensations he left on your core were still going, so you weren’t all there.

“I was, I was going to cum.” You mumbled, making him reach up to your nipples.

“Papi, doesn’t want you to cum yet.” He pinched both of your nipples making you gasp.

“Okay, okay! I won’t till you say!” He leaned down to softly suckle at each of your nipples, relieving the pain.

“Niña buena.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips to which you responded eagerly. He pulled away a little too soon for your liking.

“Papi.” You whined, making him chuckle.

“¿Tú quieres más?” He leaned his forehead on yours, but not yet allowing your lips to meet.

“Si, Papi. Por favor.” You leaned up and a Zabdiel met you halfway. His kisses were to die for and they made you melt like dulces carmellos. You moaned into the kiss as Zabdiel began grinding his hips against your bare core. He of course was covered by his boxers, but his bulge made it damn near impossible to tell.

“You wanna cum, amor?” He asked before bringing his kisses to your neck. You allowed your hands to wrap around his back and your legs followed suit.

“Yes, faster Papi.” You gasped as he immediately obliged, pressing right against your clit everytime he moved.

“Dámelo amor.” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his words prompted your orgasm.

“Fuck!” You cried as the orgasm felt so much more intense than ever before. Zabdiel pulled back from your neck and rose up, still sat on his knees to stare at his soaked boxers. He peeled them down his thick thighs to release his member.

“I don’t know what you just did, amor, but I’m about to cum inside of you.” With that he slid right into you.

RICHARD: (the moment you’ve all been waiting for and if you weren’t waiting for the best one idk why you thought daddy richard wasn’t EVERYTHING)

“It looks good, mami.” Richard ran his thumb over the skin next to your latest tattoo. Richard had been away during the healing process of your latest body art, so he was excited to get a real life close up of it. It was placed from mid thigh to your lower stomach. It was red line work of a dragon

“Gracias.” You leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead. Richard was lying down at the end of the bed while he was observing. His hand was holding up your shorts higher so he could examine the tattoo.

“No panties bebé?” He casually didn’t look at you and kept his focus on the body art. Your eyes widened slightly, totally forgetting you were ready for bed when Richard came home early to surprise you.

“I wasn’t expecting you.” You attempted to say just as casually.

“So if you did you would have put panties on?” His thumb trailed up your dragon in swirls and lines of the design.

“Uh, no, I mean, I don’t know. I would have kept my day clothes on, I just got dressed in this to sleep. It gets hot.” You rambled. You hated when you were awkward.

“You get hot down here, mami?” He looked up at you as his hand grasped at your inner thigh.

“Richard!” You whisper shouted. You had no reason to whisper, you just felt caught off guard. You should have expected him to be horny coming home, just not so witty about it.

“Say Daddy, mami.” His thumb rubbed your lower lips and you gasped quietly at his demand.

“You want me to call you Daddy...or Papi?” You bit your lip softly, looking up at him as he moved to hover over you.

“Daddy, bebé. If you call me Papi I won’t be able to stop.” He spoke before pressing his lips hastily to yours. You moaned against his lips as he submerged his thumb in between your lower lips to rub on your clit.

“Daddy, don’t stop.” Your jaw fell open as his thumb went faster. His lips moved down to assault your neck with kisses and purple splotches. His opposite hand went to the back of your head and pulled down on your hair. “I have a surprise.” You moaned, feeling your orgasm near you.

“What, mami?” He asked before nipping at your jugular.

“I’m on birth control now.” Richard stopped everything. He had begged and begged for a year for you to get on birth control. He was okay with waiting, but he still teased you about it. One time you let him do it without and it felt heavenly, thank god his pull out game was good. You swore that unless you went on birth control, which you were in no rush to do, that it couldn’t happen again. Sometimes while having sex he’d whisper to you,

“Remember how good it felt to have just me, inside of you mami?”

and you’d almost cave. But never since that day has he gone raw inside of you.

“Don’t lie to get your way, princesa.” He whispered lowly.

“I’m not, I promise.” Your hands reached to caress his face and tilt his head up so you could see his face. His lips were swollen and his nose was slightly blushed. He was an absolute passionate latin lover right out of the books and it showed.

“The best welcome home gift ever.” He said as he pulled your shorts off of your body. You laughed a little at his reaction and pulled his shirt off.

“Get naked, Daddy.” You teased him and proceeded to pull your tank top off. You were completely bare underneath everything and that seemed to motivate Richard to move faster.

“Did I ever mention how much I love you?” Richard spoke lowly, running his hands along your body.

“Eh. Maybe once or twice.” You smiled at him and he smiled back before giving you a kiss. “And I love you.”

“Wanna turn around for me, princesa?” Richard asked, running his nose along your navel. You turned over onto all fours and looked back at your man.

“I need you.” He hummed got adjusted on his knees.

“Louder, mami.” His hands squeezed around your thighs.

“I need you.” You spoke a bit louder. It didn’t seem to satisfy Richard though.

“You can do better.” You took an inhale of breath.

“I need you, Daddy, please cum inside me!” You cried out as he wasted no time in pistoning himself inside you. “Fuuuck.” You whined as a finger went to your clit while his hand remained gripping your thigh for leverage.

“You miss this like me, mami? This feeling of me fucking you how you like it?” Your eyes rolled up as the dirty talk turned you on like no other.

“Yes, daddy. I missed your cock.” Richard prompted filthy words to exit your mouth every time you two had sex. He made you feel so sexually liberated and wanted you to let him know how to please you. He dominated you with the purpose of being your only outlet of sexual necessity.

“You miss feeling all of it? While you throw yourself back onto me? No more fucking condoms.” He grunted loudly over the sounds of your skin clapping. Your grip grew tighter on the sheets as your clit was throbbing and your core was fluttering around Richard. You knew he could feel you contracting around him repeatedly. The noises exiting his mouth made it clear for you.

“I’m gonna cum, Daddy. Please let me cum.” You knees grew tired of helping you move back onto Richard, but he moved his hand from your thigh to your hair to pull back on it.

“Cum for me, mami. I want it all.” He kicked your thighs further apart with his own and rubbed at your clit with his palm making you scream in pleasure.

“Fuck! Papi!” You didn’t even comprehend that you allowed that to come out of your mouth, but when you said it Richard slammed his hips against yours agressively, making your ass seem like it was getting slapped repeatedly.

“Mami, fuck, look at that. You’ve made a mess now, bebé.” Richard moaned as his hand movements caused liquid to literally squirt out of you. Your vision went starry as your eyes most likely crossed so hard at this intense pleasure. You couldn’t even respond to him at this point. “Look at my messy girl, I love making you a mess, mami.” His hand gripped the front of your neck and moved his chest to cover your back.

“Papi...” You whimpered, feeling your entrance contract uncontrollably, triggering your sensitivity.

“Wait.” He demanded. His teeth grazed against your shoulder making you quiver. He moaned deeply in response. “Do it again, mami.” You felt a second orgasm assault your body and simultaneously felt the pressure of Richard’s cum coating your insides. “Shit.” He whispered harshly, squeezing a bit tightly around your neck.

[caedogeist-rights]

Podcasts ranked by the amount of kissing/gross sounds in it (and also how romance-repulsed/aromantic-friendly it is), by me, your neighborhood aro and hater of Body Sounds. Spoilers ahead for every single podcast listed!

(also, this got long, so uh. see under the break for the full list.)

1. Time:Bombs: The Perfect Podcast, not a gross foley, kiss, or romance-heavy plot in sight. I’ve got nothing bad to say about it, im sorry. It’s perfect.

2. Northwest Footwear Database: It is beauty, it is grace, it has got no Weird Sounds (unless you count a banging song and in-depth discussions of shoes. which i do not). A weird fiction podcast, so not Perfect in the listening, but... still #2 for a reason.

3. RQG: it is a ttrpg podcast. theres very obviously no kissing foley here. Thank G-d, is all im saying. Also has a QPP with a PC, and i give every budding romance an aro thumbs up!

4. Wolf 359: I don’t remember any terrible sounds, there’s no explicit romance- overall, a Good One! 1/2 a point taken off for the mental image of freezer-burned doug.

5. Kaleidotrope: oh, if there ever was a good podcast! This podcast is also kinda obsessed with love, which is nice, but focuses on romantic love for 90% of it, which is less so. Oh kaleidotrope... you need some aros.

6. TSCOSI: I adore this podcast! this is a wonderful podcast with wonderful characters, and I enjoy the ace rep! However, the torture scene in the s1 finale was... less enjoyable. 1 minute of Terrible, but it counts. (we have entered one-strike-territory)

7. The College Tapes: I am filled with adoration, but also, the book and cult chanting is creepy and unnerving. Also, the sheer volume of romantic pining was... overwhelming. Didn’t hate it, but not The Aro Friendly Podcast of my dreams.

8. Mabel: I do not remember much of this podcast, except I enjoyed it and there was some foley that was uncomfortable. Overall, not bad, but... a romance-focused plot, no matter how much I love it, with uh. Weird Sounds.

9. Archive 81: behold, my favorite podcast! Why, you may ask- oh, it simply is the Weird Shit Aro Haven of my dreams! Not a kiss or romantic plot to be found (some of yall ship chris and lee, and i support you, but i never interpreted them as romantic, so It Doesn’t Count on this list). However. the heart-eating scene. the s2 surgery scene. the concept of half the characters? the definition of body horror. Gross! (we have entered into the couple-strikes territory)

10. Stellar Firma: much like a81, perfect except for just one thing, and in this case, its the foot kink shit. Please listen to stellar firma, but also. Hartro’s Foot Kink. I give it my aro sign of approval, though! (I have also only listened up to s2 finale, so uh. idk after that).

11. The Bright Sessions: there are xactly two reasons why this podcast is rated so low on this list. One, there’s quite a bit of romance in this podcast. I’m not against 80% of it, but like... Romance Exists. Two, Safehouse! I do not want or need to hear a man beaten half to death, no matter how much I hate him!

12. TMA: but, you might ask, why is TMA so low? It’s got not a kiss in sight, an a canon ace! Yes, I say, that all is true. It’s why TMA is in its special little category: As An Aro I’m Fine But What The Fuck Bro. An ace main character cannot erase the experience of listening to jon’s hand be burned while I was on a public bus, my Actual Physical Repulsion to michael’s voice, and also all the gore. It’s Gross, Bro! Edit for post e200: yeah.... i must admit the kiss was gross and the sound design really only got more disturbing, so its staying at #12, but... keep in mind that this podcast is simply quite terrible on the ears.

13. Junoverse (Penumbra Podcast): Didn’t mean to make these three popular podcasts the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th worst ones, but what can i say! these fuckers have foley. Junoverse is one of two podcasts in the special category Make Room For Jesus, and juno gets here primarily because of the downright ridiculous amount of making out in it, plus a Giant Subplot being romantic, and also the multiple scenes of torture/a character getting Hurt, Badly. However, not the worst, since while kissing is gross, I can deal. Torture/death/screaming/gore, however...

14. The AM Archives (including Order&Chaos): behold, the pride of the Make Room For Jesus category. I love this podcast/s more than life itself, but I also used transcripts for most of it, so I was able to actually get through it. But from what i could get from transcripts/listening to the finale/asking fellow listeners, its... well, #14 for a reason. And what I can say: this podcast has everything! Burgeoning romance thats, ngl, kinda uncomfortable to listen to! A Kiss (thank you, Order&Chaos, for giving me lovely poly content, but... Kiss Gross)! Copious amounts of screaming and torture! Emotional distress of many varieties (mine included)! Extended Death Scene! I’m sorry, i feel like doing tama a disservice by ranking it last, but unfortunately... it ain’t easy on the ears, and I’m incredibly glad I avoided a lot of it! (...i still did listen to owen’s death, tho. which. aaagh i’ll never be over that one, huh). I love you, TAMA and O&C, but you are hard as hell to listen to.

ty for reading to the end! please, i take aro-friendly podcast suggestions! again, this is based on memory and memory alone (tama excluded), so uh... whoops! if i forgot something important

[spunkpunx]

Are Friends Electric? - Alex Turner - Part 2

Plot: Jackie brings her new fella to the boys first gig.

Warnings: Smoking, Underage Drinking, Explicit Sexual Reference, Abuse, Swearing

Word count: 2794

Sheffield 2003

I wasn't actually sure I liked Chris as much as I thought I did. When he had asked for my phone number I had felt so excited and flattered, after all, he was a bit older, he was out of school, he had a job...

...And he was attractive. His hair was short back and sides, and he was tall with lean muscle. Sure, he wasn't the best dressed, but he dressed like most boys did, trackies and trainers, and a polo shirt with the collar popped. And he could drive.

I loved that part. I could phone him and he'd drive round and pick me up, give me lifts about and sometimes we'd just drive for a bit. Then he'd pull into some car park round the back of Tesco's or something and we'd kiss and fumble and he'd put his hand in my bra and I'd let him but we never went the full way. Not in the Tesco car park. I did once give him a handjob, but it was very rushed and awkward, so I didn't like to count it.

Alex hated him. I could never figure out why. They weren't each other's type of people, I supposed. They met at the pub and straight away Chris gave him a friendly thump on the back, and from the look on Alex's face, I instantly knew they wouldn't get on. It was a shame, after all, Al was my best mate. There were times when I couldn't bear to turn him down if I had plans with Chris. Usually I lied and told Alex I had to help my mam, or tell Chris something had come up and I couldn't make it. I was pretty sure neither of them knew, maybe not certain.

Maybe Chris wasn't my person. We hung out, but conversation was short, we had nothing in common, other than birthplace. He liked cars and techno, I preferred cameras and Roots Manuva. We didn't even support the same football team. He liked to talk about car parts a lot and I never had a clue what he was on about. Still, I liked him enough. He knew exactly when I wanted to be left alone and exactly when I wanted to be held. He was sweet sometimes as well, he even bought me flowers from the petrol station once.

Alex had a habit of getting increasingly miserable the more Chris was mentioned. Even Matt teased him about it, or so I'd heard. I didn't hang out with the band that much because I didn't want to infringe on their practices, but whatever information I couldn't get from Alex, I would get out of Jamie.

The gig at The Grapes was exactly the kind of situation I had been trying to avoid. Alex and Chris and alcohol all in the same small space. I really didn't like bringing him to things, but he asked me specifically and I couldn't find a reason for me to go on my own.

"How are ya doing, mate," Chris greeted, clapping Alex firmly on the back. I noticed him scowl slightly before replying.

"Fine, and you?" he answered, through his teeth almost, although he managed to force his tone to be slightly more friendly than his face quite convincingly. Chris clearly didn't notice. Alex was sipping at a can of ginger beer, obviously still 17 an unable to get served. All of the boys weren't drinking, Andy and Jamie were still about a month off their birthdays. I could sense Alex's embarrassment as he wrapped his hands around the can, shielding it from Chris. He noticed.

"Can't get served?" Chris jibed, giving Alex another overly forceful clap on the back. "It's fine mate, I'll get you a pint." If Alex looked embarrassed before, right now he looked absolutely mortified. Chris waved the bartender over.

"2 pints of Carling and...?" He turned to me expectantly.

"The same," I told him with a smile.

"And the same for the lady," he finished, handing over a tenner.

"No worries, hows your Da' getting on?" the bartender asked Chris, pulling the pints.

"Not too bad Paul, 'is leg's a bit better now, off the crutches an' all that."

"Ay, that's good, although, knowin' yer dad he'll have been loving the attention," the bartender joked, and they both laughed heartily. Alex and I made a brief moment of eye contact, caught in a joke neither of us understood. Chris handed over both our pints and lead us toward one of the free tables. As he walked ahead, Alex put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Hey, I know yer've got a pint now but I grabbed you this before," he said, pulling a red can out of his pocket. I recognised the flames around the black writing immediately. A can of ginger beer.

"Cheers, Al, that's great," I told him honestly. I felt oddly flattered that he remembered what I liked.

"They didn't have any D&B," he explained further, grinning. I slung my arm around his shoulder and dragged him to the table, laughing.

"Yer daft you are," I teased him, and then I felt a hand on my hip; Chris, prising me away from him. I felt a slight rush of anger, but kept it within. He didn't mean anything by it. I sat myself down beside him, taking a gulp of my pint.

"Right well, I better go help the boys set up, fookin on in fifteen minutes, I'm shittin' myself," Alex told me, smiling slightly weakly.

"Is Simmo coming down?"

"Course he is."

"When you see him tell him where we're sat."

"Alright."

"And I'll see the boys after but tell 'em good luck," I smiled, trying to subtly reassure him. It wasn't much use, he wasn't looking at me properly.

"Alright," he agreed.

"And Al?" I asked, reaching forward and giving his hand a squeeze. He looked up. "Good luck tonight, you'll smash it." He forced a smile, I couldn't imagine the nerves he must have been having.

"Cheers Jack, I'll see you after yeah?" he asked and I affirmed with a nod of my head. With that, he turned and headed toward the stage. A hand slinked itself onto my waist, and I thought to myself about how nice it was Chris was here. There were plenty of reasons why he was just right for me, and all I did was give him a hard time about it in my head. A gig at The Grapes was not a place I ever pictured him, and yet he'd come, especially for me. We chatted for a few minutes, and then were interrupted.

"Alright Jack?" a friendly voice greeted. Simmo sat down opposite the two of us.

"Ah, you're Simmo then?" Chris asked.

"That'd be me, and you are...?"

"This is Chris, my, erm, boyfriend," I explained, hoping neither noticed the slight hesitation in my voice. If either of them did, neither addressed it.

"Oh that's odd, I thought you and Alex were a thing," Simmo said simply in response. Now, if I knew Simmo at all, I could be 97% sure he was saying this to stir shit, and I'd be fucked if I wasn't to get him back for it at some point.

"Don't be stupid Si," I told him, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but coming across as a lot more snappy than I intended.

"Alright love, don't get yer knickers in a twist," he teased. That wound me up more than anything. I bit the inside of my cheek slightly.

"'Scuse me I'm going fer a piss," I announced, standing up and getting around the edge of the table, while trying to come across as casual, unwilling to give Simmo anything to pick up on. Unfortunately as the words left my mouth, I recognised my own tetchy tone.

"Hey babes, hang on a sec, 'e's only joking," Chris consoled, but I could tell he was trying to keep a straight face. Blokes always had to patronise me like this.

"Don't call me babes, you sound like a nonce," I snapped, perhaps a little harshly, grabbing my bag and swiftly making my way to the toilets. Once I was inside the doors I kicked the sink, cursing to myself as it hurt more than I had anticipated, before taking a moment to gather myself up, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I lit a cigarette, inhaling and then sighing out the smoke dramatically. I felt my lip quiver, but still held back tears. I was so wound up but she couldn't let Simmo ruin the gig for me, the stupid twat. The door opened and I quickly stubbed out the cigarette on the side of the sink, not willing to be told of by some virtuous prick.

"Shit, this is the wrong bathroom," a familiar voice said. I turned round to see a very flustered Matt.

"What gave it away?" I teased.

"Well, you're not a bloke."

"Thanks for noticing," I grinned halfheartedly.

"You alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just heard you kick the sink."

"Oh," I replied, defeated. Matt laughed. "It were just Simmo winding me up, Chris as well actually," I admitted, and Matt took a further step into the bathroom to give me a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Simmo's a fookin' prick anyways, and if you ask Alex, so's your Chris," Matt consoled.

"What's his beef?"

"Dunno, jealous?"

"Not fookin' likely," I chuckled. Matt raised his eyebrows slightly, but said nothing.

"Anyway mate, I better get out the ladies toilet before I get pasted for bein' a pervert. We're on in 5 minutes anyway."

"Oh right, well proper good luck to you then Matt, you lot will smash it, I bet," I smiled at him.

"Cheers pet, I'll see yous after the gig then," he replied, opening the door to leave.

"Aye, will do."

I swept the cigarette off the sink and onto the floor, putting on some chapstick before leaving the bathroom to find a spot near the stage for the boys to start playing. They were all setting up their amps when I got there. I caught Matt's eye and gave him a thumbs up, which he returned. Alex looked like he was shitting himself with nerves, I could see by the uneasy look in his eye and the way he was chewing his lip. I caught his eye and he gave me a weak smile, and I mouthed back what I hoped was a reassuring "go on."

He hooked the lead over his guitar strap and plugged it in, coming over to the mic, giving it a shaky test, which caught everyone's attention. A few people gathered with me on the "dancefloor", holding drinks in one hand.

"Hello, we're t'Arctic Monkeys and we're gonna play a few songs for you," Alex began, almost mumbling into the mic. A few audience members, myself included, let out some reassuring claps and cheers. He met my eye for a moment, smiled, and i saw his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath. "Our first song is called Ravey Ravey Ravey Club and it goes like this."

The guitar began, a fast introduction with Jamie playing rhythm. Alex strummed the guitar fast, and when he sung the words were almost indiscernible. He was putting on an accent that he didn't have, which was odd to me, it made sense for Alex to be that self conscious but I reckoned he had no reason to be shy. The audience seemed to appreciate the music as I noticed a few raised eyebrows. I suppose it was a rarity for a pub band in Sheffield to have a singer who could sing.

A hand slipped around my waist and I felt Chris kiss my neck and mumble a soft 'sorry' into my ear. I didn't reply, but leant back into him instead. Alex continued with the song, and I smiled at how much he was enjoying himself. Matt was doing brilliantly on the drums, I had no idea how good he was. Andy was doing the typical bass player move and looking bored, and Jamie was making his best attempt at being 'rock 'n' roll' without moving about too much. At one point Alex screamed a line and it took all my willpower not to laugh for fear of knocking his confidence. The song ended and the audience applauded, I wooed my support. Alex had a smile on his face, letting out a thrilled "yeah!".

The set continued, Alex gradually gaining confidence throughout the songs. They did a cover of Rockafeller Skank, which I thought was brilliantly genius. Even Chris liked that one, probably because it was the only one he knew. At that point we were both suitably drunk. Si came up and apologised, then offered me a dance in return, which I reluctantly accepted. It was a right laugh because Si was enough of a dick to prance about like a twat whilst simultaneously holding me by my hands and dragging me to dance with him. By the time the song had finished I had tears in my eyes and all irritation had been long forgotten. It was odd to dance to Alex's voice singing the White Stripes, but funny nonetheless. After that he stepped up to announce the next song.

"This next one is for you Jackie, thanks for coming tonight," he mumbled into the microphone. This was met with a wolf whistle from the back of the room which made my cheeks flush red. The band then continued to rush through a cover of I'm Only Sleeping by The Beatles. That also made me chuckle, a cheeky dig at my tendency to oversleep. Chris seemed a bit bothered by that, because he came away from the bar and grabbed my arm slightly, pulling me away.

"Jackie, why would he do that?" he hissed to me, away from the crowd. I furrowed my brow at him in confusion.

"Do what?"

"Fookin' dedicate a song to you and shit like tha'" he snapped, hand still on my arm. "He's not your fookin' boyfriend, I am." His grip tightened on me. I drew back slightly but he kept me where I was. "It's embarrassing, he's not to do it again you understand?!"

"What the fook Chris?!" I exclaimed, surprised at his sudden controlling behaviour. I pushed against him, trying to get away but he pulled me into a suffocating hug. I let him, trying to avoid creating a scene and ruining the Arctic Monkeys' first gig.

"You're my girl okay? I can't have you hangin' about with all those other lads like some slut," he told me. I nodded into his chest, feeling stifled and slightly scared, waiting for him to let me go. "Good girl."

Chris didn't leave me for the rest of the set, he held onto my wrist most the time, at least until he noticed a girl he knew and sloped off to the bar to buy her a drink. I found myself not caring. The boys came off stage and I went round the back to help them chuck their various instruments into the back of Andy's van. Whilst we were out there I ended up next to Alex, having a smoke. The whole Chris thing has shaken me up and I couldn't help having a dampened mood. I chewed the inside of my cheek.

"What did you think Jack?" Alex asked me keenly, grin on his face. I smiled, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Yous were fookin' brilliant Al, I'm dead proud," I told him, trying to sound as happy as possible.

"Yeah it was pretty good, are you alright love?" he asked, putting a hand on my arm.

"Yeah, am fine. Sorry Al, I loved your whole gig, it's just Chris being a dick'ead before, ruined my mood a bit."

"What 'append?" He turned to me, eyes soft and understanding. I explained what went on, seeing his face harden slowly.

"But I think I overreacted," I finished.

"Nah, not at all love. That's a fookin' red flag. You need to break up with him."

"I should... gave me a bit of a fright when he acted like that." Alex pulled me into a hug and I returned it, trying not to burn him with the end of my still lit ciggie. I pressed my face into his shoulder. His white polo shirt smelt of his house and him, and unfortunately a bit like sweat.

"Do it now, then you won't have to see the cunt tomorrow. I can come with you if you want."

"It's probably best it's not you, I'll take Matt."

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzel and the Great Tree Part 2

Continuing on with the midseason finale of season two.

Part 1 is here  https://rachelbethhines.tumblr.com/post/628826170657570816/tangled-salt-marathon-rapunzel-and-the-great

Summary: After Adira saves Rapunzel and the group from the hurt incarnation, Cassandra makes her suspicions of Adira known which causes a falling out between her and Rapunzel. Meanwhile Hector uses the dormant power of the tree to try and attack everyone. 

Cassandra’s Motivation Doesn’t Aline With Her Later Actions 

If you’re going to have a character do a complete 180 from her original goal, than you need a better reason than just mommy issues; or validation issues, or career problems, or just simply having a falling out, or jealousy, or a ghost girl whispering in your ear, or whatever the fuck they’re trying to do with Cassandra.  

Going from ‘protect’ to ‘murder’ is a huge moral alignment shift that needed clear and reasonable justification. Cassandra is never given that. Instead they just throw everything at the wall that they can think of in the hope that something sticks. 

Only it never does because her original story was re-written at the last minute.   

Well That Was Pointless

Max and Pascal wind up saving Eugene and Lance from the man eating plant. Which adds nothing to the story. It happens and is then never brought up again. It’s just an excuse to write Eugene out of the Cass and Raps conflict and not an extension of either his or Lance’s own narratives. 

That’s a problem, because Eugene should be a main character and Lance an important supporting side character. Instead Eugene is regulated to side character status while Lance is unimportant comic relief. Not only does this ignore that fact that Eugene was the protagonist of the movie same as Rapunzel, but it also ignores the basic writing rule of ‘don’t add in characters who don’t serve a purpose in the story’. 

Adira Just Saved All of Your Asses, Cass

Boy does Adira put up with a lot of bullshit in this show, and 90% of it comes from Cass being a little bitch. 

She has no biases for this argument. Adira hasn’t done anything to warrant this accusation. In fact she’s proven herself time and time again only for Cass to lash out like a spoilt teenager with an inferiority complex. 

And Cassandra is 23!!!    

The young adults on this show are constantly written like pre-teens while the only actual teenager is constantly forced to be the most mature person in the show. 

It’s mind boggling. 

Rapunzel is In the Right Here, But the Show Wants Us to Sympathize with Cass Instead?

Oh No! Raps raised her voice at Cassandra and made her feel bad, you guys. Feel sorry for the poor paranoid baby who who’s acting like a jealous brat for no reason. 

Bull Shit. 

Cassandra not only has nothing to back up her accusation but the narrative never goes on to prove her right either. Adria is on the up and up, and always had been according to Destinies Collide. For all the show’s efforts to make Cass seem reasonable by having Adira mysteriously pop in and out, it all falls flat once you know where everything is heading. 

Plus, even if she were magically right about Adira that wouldn’t excuse her bossing Rapunzel around and insulting her intelligence. Had she done that to me I’d be telling her something a lot harsher than just to knock it off. 

Oh, But I Thought You Said Flashbacks to Corona Would Be Too Confusing?

So one of the writers, Ricky, has gone on record stating that they did originally have plans to show flashbacks to Corona to show what was going on with Rapunzel’s parents, Varian, and the Saporians. He then said they dropped them because they feared that it would be too confusing for the audience. 

Yet we get this pointless scene thrown into the middle of the mid-season finale. 

And by the looks of it it’s before even Beginnings, or maybe after Beginnings, who knows; so it’s not just a change of scene, it’s also a change in time as well. A point in the timeline that’s not been firmly established enough. So it not only has less reasons to exist then a Varian flashback would, but it’s also potentially more confusing than what a simple single episode set in Corona would have been. 

I don’t know who to blame for this poor decision making, if it’s just Chris, Chris and Ben, or a shared blame with all of the writers, but while the buck does stop with Chris, much of what Ricky has said online doesn’t reflect very well on his writing skills. Cause that’s a huge and utter bullshit excuse. 

So What Does This Add, Exactly?

Cass gives Rapunzel this purse as a gift. A purse that’s not been shown to be all that important before and isn’t made significant again. Then Raps launches into this speech about how good a friend Cass is and how lost she’d be without her. 

I understand what the thought process for this was; it’s to show how far Raps and Cass have grown apart recently and what Cassandra herself liked about being friends with Rapunzel to being with, which was the validation boost of being useful and needed; but there’s a lot of problems with including it here. 

For starters, lack of validation isn’t enough to suddenly switch into ‘kill mode’ which is where all of this is eventually leading.  

Validation shouldn’t be the foundation of any long term relationship and so rather than proving how good of a friend they are to each other, you’ve only given futher reason for why they’re toxic together. 

You needed to be building them up all throughout season one before launching into this break up plot. This scene is too little too late because we’ve spent too many episodes tearing Raps and Cass down for this plot to have the effect that they wanted it to. 

Cassandra is just doing her job. She’s suppose to show Rapunzel around and help her with shit, that’s what a lady in waiting does. Cassandra’s friendship with Rapunzel shouldn’t be so tied to her career trajectory to begin with. Not only is it unhealthy but it then is used to victim-blame Rapunzel for all of Cassandra’s problems. Even though the only thing actually holding Cass back is herself, as proven in season three. 

Timeline Confirmed

So it is indeed six months since Secret of the Sun Drop, give or take a few days to organize stuff before the trip. Meaning we’re now a year out from Before Happily Ever After. I point this out now, in order to prove something later on. 

This Logically Should Have Been the End of the Argument, But the Writers are Dragging Things Out Needlessly 

You know what I hate more than a ‘lack of communication causes drama' trope? Characters taking the time to communicate and still missing the bloody point and not resolving anything. 

Technically, Rapunzel is still in the right. She is an autonomous person capable of making decisions for herself, and Cass does need to get over herself and treat Rapunzel as such and stop getting butt hurt over not being the one in charge. 

But then we have to ruin that message by throwing in this line. 

Like, yes you’re technically in charge here Raps, but making decisions shouldn’t mean walking all over someone's feelings either. Being a leader is just as much about listening as it is about taking charge and neither of these characters understand that yet. 

And they never will, cause the writing for them is shit. 

When I first saw season two I honestly believe that this would tie into Rapunzel’s previous conflicts regarding responsibility and hypocrisy. I thought they had an arc here about learning to balance assertiveness and personal boundaries, with genuine compassion and respect for others. Had they went through with that then this could have been something truly special, but they go and throw it all away come season three. Now its just heartbreak and frustrating to watch. 

Also Stupid ‘Sisters’ Plot Foreshadowing 

More on this later, but just know if you hate the idea of calling Raps and Cass sisters then blame Chris. 

This Song Underlines The Core Problem With Cassandra's Arc

There’s no stakes.

I’ve already discussed at length now about how Cassandra’s goals and motivations are inconsistent, and how her actions don’t line up. But the reason the writers are struggling so hard to find something that fits her, is because the story has grown past her. 

We’ve already seen characters who struggle with poverty, homelessness, neglect/abuse, and oppression. There are now tons of people in the story who are fighting just for survival, and they’re all regulated to either supporting roles, one off appearances, or are background characters. 

So with that in mind what is there to justify Cassandra getting focus over them? What is she struggling with here that deserves more screen time and attention than, Eugene, Varian, Lady Caine, or even Adira? 

Cassandra isn’t poor. She lives well off in the castle and has high ranking connections. She’s not even struggling with a job she hates anymore because we’ve already seen her promoted to the one she wanted by this point.  

Cassandra isn’t homeless, she once again lives in the castle and if she chooses to leave she has plenty of opportunities waiting for her, as evidenced by Goodbye and Goodwill and Beginnings. Plus she’s shown to be capable of supporting herself both in this season and the next.  

Cassandra isn’t oppressed. She can leave anytime she wants to. She can defy the king's orders in SotSD because she’s the princesses’s bestie. She doesn’t face jail or hanging just because she and Raps has a fight now and then. 

The only thing going for her is possibly neglect/abuse, but that’s not been introduced into the story yet and isn’t what she’s discussing here. It also contradicts what was previously established between her and Cap in season one when it does come into play. 

Validation Alone is Not Enough to Connect With Most of the Audience 

Even the stanchest of Cassandra supporter often has to heavily project onto her in order to connect with her. Which isn’t a bad thing in of itself. Everyone projects to some degree or other when exploring media, that’s part of being human. But the problem is that because she’s so thinly written you’re left with little else but projection. And so you’ll hear excuses like, well she’s fighting the class system, she’s an abuse survivor, or she deserves to lash out over not getting what she wants when she’s worked so hard for it. But none of those excuses are actually presented on screen. 

Cassandra doesn’t fight against the class system. If she did she would be fighting for everyone. She’d be singing about everyone’s problems not just her own. 

Cassandra’s past abuse is just slapped on at the last minute and then disregarded when convenient. It doesn’t actually factor into the decisions she makes later on.  

Also, you don’t deserve anything just because you ‘work hard’ nor because you just really, really want it. 

It’s that point that I really take issue with. 

On the surface Cassandra should be the most relatable person in the show. I mean what young adult or teen living in this post apocalyptic nightmare of a capitalist dystopia not ever felt disappointed over not getting the job they wanted or not being given enough positive validation while crushed underneath mounting unrealistic expectations. It’s the main reason why so many of her supporters are teenagers and LGBT+. 

But all of those worries stem from something deeper than just a lack of positive reinforcement. 

You know why I had to give up on my career as an animator?

It didn’t pay benefits. 

I had medical issues and needed health insurance, but since most animation is commissioned and/or contract based, particularly if you live/work on the east coast, then you’re not going to get that most of the time. And this is after spending the majority of my time in college homeless, living out of my car, crashing on friends and families couches. I did this for three fucking years because I didn’t want to wind up in a textile mill or a carpet factory like everyone I else knew growing up, and I was told my whole life that if I went to school and worked hard enough I could have a well paying job that I enjoyed and got me away from my abusive home life. 

People like me, we’re bitter over not getting the jobs we wanted or the support we needed, not because we believe we’re special and therefore deserve it or some such bullshit, but because our very lives are dependent upon it! We’re victims of a class system that lets you starve if you don't find work. Where you’ll be trapped in abusive situations cause you can’t afford a home on your own. Where simply being yourself can be dangerous as there are people who vocally want to deny us rights and even kill us. 

Cass is an entitled whiny brat in canon because she doesn’t have any of those underlying issues. She doesn’t face real discrimination, oppression, poverty, or the looming threat of death hanging over her. She’s just throwing a temper tantrum. 

Once Again Adira is Saving Your Butt Cass

Adira is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters in the marathon. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate her more when I first watched the show. 

Also, I’m Sorry I Didn’t Recognize the Awesomeness That Is Hector Until Now Either.

Like this is a good conflict. They both have legitimate reasons for what they do. They’re both in the right here. That’s what makes them interesting. 

They’re both fighting for something. They’re home and the belief that they can fix things, vs the fate of the world and their loyalty to both the cause and their family. All on top of having their own relationship issues. 

Hector so should have been the main villain of season two, because he just has the most reason to be opposed to the mains’ goal. 

That’s more than whatever Cass and Raps are fighting about. The only thing at stake there is their friendship, which isn’t that big of deal when you compare it to the lives and safety of billions of people. 

Plus Hector’s just flat out entertaining. 

Why is Everybody Just Standing Around Doing Nothing Here?

Fucking do something you lugnuts!!!

You’re all capable fighters. You’ve all taken down much harder enemies than one lone guy and two bearcats. Why aren’t you helping Cass fight back? Or heck, if you wanted Cass to face Hector alone then have her be a distraction so that the others can escape. Anything but having them just stand there and be useless!

Yet Again I Have to Ask Why Should Cass Care? 

Or rather why should the audience care? 

Cass isn’t a lady in waiting just because some random jerk who's already taunting her and trying to kick her ass calls her such. Hector’s not from Corona and has no knowledge of Cassandra’s life beyond what he may have heard repeated by Adiria (who is also not from Corona) or what Cass herself said in her very metaphorical song.  Nor does either them have a say in how Cass’s career goes. 

If you want to push the narrative that Cass is still a lady-in-waiting and a maid, despite having earned Cap’s approval and being appointed by the king to guard Rapunzel, then you damn well need to establish that among the mains. 

Or you know, stop trying to go back on what you’ve set up in season one. 

So How Is This Suppose To Work?

So from the backstory that we get on both the Tree and Zhan Tiri herself, this shouldn’t happen. Like Zhan Tiri is currently trapped in another dimension and according to season three she has no possession powers herself. 

Now the tree itself is said to be sentient and that Zhan Tiri took control of it, but how? How is a tree sentient? Why is it sentient? How did Zhan Tiri bend it to her will? Why is it still under her control while she’s been trapped in another dimension for hundreds of years? Why and how does the spear keep it dormant? Why does the tree itself have possession powers when Zhan Tiri has none? Is there any connection between this Great Tree and the cursed tree that was suppose to free Zhan Tiri back in Painter’s Block? If so then why are these things never brought back into play during season three? 

Give me answers damn it! 

Now This is a Good Conflit, Shame It’s Never Resolved 

Both have valid reasons to do what they do. Both are neither right nor wrong. Both however wind up getting in the way of each other because neither will listen or trust the other. 

Rapunzel thinks that this will stop Hector, and she is right it does, but more importantly she chooses this route because it gives everyone else a chance to run away. The problem is that she can’t control it, but from her point of view that’ll only put her and Hector at risk if everyone else will just do as she says and leaves. 

Cassandra thinks the spear will stop it because it’s done so before, and that’s a logical assumption. It also means that Rapunzel herself won’t be in any danger, though the others might. Cass can’t free everyone at once like Rapunzel can. It’ll also be a threat to herself, and there’s the risk that tree will stop her before she can deal the final blow.  

So what’s happening on a personal level is that Rapunzel thinks taking charge means that everyone needs to follow her say without question. Cassandra thinks Rapunzel should listen to her more, not because Rapunzel needs to listen better in general, but because she doesn’t feel Rapunzel is mature enough to make big decisions and that she herself should be in charge of the group. Both girls feel superior to the other and above other people as well, because they’re convinced they’re always right. 

Had this been the actual conflict that they went with in season three, had they actually had both characters held accountable for their actions and learn something, and hadn’t dragged innocent people into their bullshit with so much as a ‘by your leave’ or ‘I’m sorry’; then this might have been a decent story. Perhaps not as impactful as Varian’s, but still meaningful, thoughtful, and well, coherent. 

But that’s not what they did, and we’ll see no real resolution to this disagreement. 

So Why Is No One Affected By the Hurt Incantation This Time?

Eugene here was injured by the tree earlier, that’s why he’s past out, but everyone else remains unharmed by Rapunzel’s singing. Even though just last episode everyone around her were dying from it, and again in the season finale everyone dies from said incantation. But here and in Rapunzel’s Return, Rapunzel can use the incantation without harming anyone nearby so, how does that work? 

Some people have suggested that when Rapunzel focuses her hair on a target like the tree here or the amber later, that it doesn’t spread to other people, but that’s never stated on screen so it’s still a flaw. 

 Well This Goes Nowhere 

I think the writers just like throwing in shocking ‘twists’ and moments like this just for the sake of looking edgy and ‘deep’ but then they never actually follow through on the impact of such moments on the characters nor consider the more troubling implications of including them. 

I grew up on Gargoyles, Batman the Animated Series, the 90s X-Men Cartoon, and The Pirates of Dark Water. I’ve seen far more shocking and edgy stuff than this when I was six years old. In many ways the american animated tv landscape has regressed since the early 2000s when it comes to more mature cartoons, and no that’s not a complaint about modern cartoons being bad; some are good some are bad, just like its always been; but that culturally we’ve shied away more from darker moments like this and we’ve having to push for them all over again in media.   

But the difference between Tangled and those 90s cartoons I’ve mentioned is that Tangled’s darker moments are misplaced. It clashes horribly with the more comedic route that the series usually takes and as such they don’t get the focus that they need too. 

After season two is done, Cass’s hand will never be mentioned again. It does not tie into her later motivations at all nor influences her actions. Throughout the series she’ll be able to use it easily without consequence. We don't even get any on screen confirmation if it’s healed by grabbing the moonstone, by the sundrop incarnation in the finale, or if she just forever has a burnt arm. That’s how little importance it is to the story. 

This Also Goes Nowhere

Hector calls out this warning but it’s then never followed up on. Adira is proven not to be a liar at all and nobody in the group is actually doomed. Yes the wider world is put in jeopardy, but that’s Cass’s fault not Adira’s. 

The writers were too focused on making Adira the red herring for Cassandra that they forgot to make her an actual person, with wants, feelings, desires, goals, and a life beyond her mission. She’s never shown helping her family and barely interacts with them, she’s never given a reason for why she keeps disappearing, and the idea that she’s doing this to save her home is just supposition on my part because otherwise she has no reason. The series never gives us one. 

And ‘Destiny’ Is Not A Fucking Reason!!!

Oh, So Adira Will Help Hector But Not Quirin or Varian?

If Hector and Adira consider each other siblings because they’re both in the Brotherhood, than logically Adira would consider Quirin her brother as well, and Varian would be her nephew. 

She was around long enough to see the final battle in SotSD. That’s why she appears at the end of that episode, how she knows Rapunzel is the sundrop and has ‘seen her power’, and how she knows that the group has met both Quirin and Varian before now. 

She knows that Quirin is trapped in amber. She knows her nephew has been arrested by a kingdom with a poor track record of punishing orphaned teens and poor people with overly harsh sentences. So why didn't she do anything there? 

We find out during season three that the black rocks can cut through the amber, and its established that Adira’s sword can cut through the rocks, so clearly she didn’t even try to save Quirin has just given him up for dead. But there’s no reason why she couldn’t have broken Varian out of the prison and taken her with him. 

In fact Adira hiding Varian from the rest of the group during season two would have been an actual reason for her disappearance and an actual reason not to trust her. That would have upped the stakes and given Cass reasons for what she does. Plus more time for Varian’s redemption, more chances to call out Rapunzel and Fredric on their BS, and ties seasons one and two together better. 

Seriously leaving Varian out of season two was the dumbest decision in television. Putting Varian back in actually fixes everything in the show. 

The Real Reason for the Burnt Hand is a Costume Change for Cass

I don’t know if she even got merchandise for this costume.   

Conclusion 

Much like season one’s arc episodes, The Great Tree held a lot of promise that was then completely wasted by season three. It’s also one of the very few episodes in the season to have actual stakes and conflict so it easily jumps to the top of the pile. But what it sets up is then never resolved or expounded upon, making it a waste. 

Next up we’ll have the mid season recap. 

[ambitionsource]

did you guys ever have voice casts for the characters? like people/singers you think the characters would sound like n all that? if so would you mind sharing them?

This is such an interesting question... admittedly, Es and I hadn’t really thought about it! We especially just think about the actual actors for those who already sing, but we can provide a couple other samples for each person if it intrigues you to know! Let’s see...

FARKLE | Corey actually does sing -- though not often in this version of reality -- but I do believe he has some professional training. We think of this song he’s recorded in particular, which I think is a really good example of how he sounds circa S1 in my head (this song is actually a bop. The YT version cuts out like 20 seconds too early but I found a version on Tumblr last year that was full so now I have it on my phone LMAO let’s go 2015 Corey). Anyway, it’s that pretty stereotypical power tenor vibe. A couple more comparisons I suggest are:

Jonathan Groff -- I think Jonathan Groff is the best comparison I can make. He’s theatrical, he has a pretty impressive range, but he rests pretty comfortably in the natural tenor range. Like he can do Kristoff one minute and King George from Hamilton the next, and I think that is equitable to Farkle’s range. The man key is that he’s a powerful vocalist. I think Farkle’s true center of his voice has a higher resting place than Groff, but it’s close enough. Example track: Bohemian Rhapsody. One of Glee’s best and an amazing display of Groff’s vocal range in one track. Farkle could match this beat for beat, flair for flair.

Chris Colfer -- I think that the flair Chris Colfer brings to a lot of his performances on Glee match well to Farkle’s vocal stylings as well (which is why he’s done a few performances with that version), but to be clear, I think Colfer’s voice is softer / higher than Farkle’s. It’s more about... emotion and inflection here than tone. Example track: Not the Boy Next Door. Farkle did this on the show, so you know we endorse it. This was also the track Esther brought up when I asked for her opinion.

Brendon Urie -- I think that Urie’s range is really akin to Farkle’s. I don’t think Farkle has at all the same kind of flair or inflection that Urie does (and Farkle is obviously more Broadway than radio), but on certain tracks I think it’s pretty cross applicable. Example track: Dying In LA

I’ll continue this under a read more to spare everyone who doesn’t want to read on because clearly this will be lengthy LOL.

RILEY | I have not heard Rowan sing since the thinly attached source material theme song days, so I honestly don’t think of her much as Riley’s voice (though I think she could do it if trained for it). Especially because of all the mains, Riley is one of the ones who is meant to be less trained and unimposing. For me, the most important quality to Riley’s voice is that it’s not overwhelming. It’s beautiful, and leaves an impact when you listen, but it’s never going to be Maya or Zay’s big, brassy vocals. And that’s fine. That’s what makes it unique in the landscape of the show (and why it appeals to Lucas rather than turns him away). A couple more comparisons I suggest are:

Amanda Seyfried -- I admittedly only know Seyfried’s work in the first Mamma Mia film, but she has the right delicate soprano that I envision Riley having. It’s like... a lilting, soft thing that’s enjoyable to listen to but can escalate into strong belting if needed and handle it effectively enough. Example track: Thank You For Music. Literally a perfect track for Riles.

Phillipa Soo -- Another great example of a powerful soprano player. Case in point enough that we’ve had Riley do a Eliza Hamilton song on the show already. Gentle and gorgeous, but sharp and intense when it needs to be. Example track: Burn.

mxmtoon -- First of all, let this be my plug that everyone should listen to mxmtoon. I love her. She has this lovely gentle voice and her instrumentation is so good. Her EP dusk is gorgeous and I cannot recommend it enough. But she is a great non-theater example of what I think Riley’s voice is like. She varies between ukulele and piano, and everything is just really understated and nice. Example track: show and tell.

MAYA | This is easy. I literally don’t have to say like anything. She just is Sab. That’s it. Like Sab is a phenomenal vocalist and she’s brassy and bold and has range and that’s all Maya is. Like literally that’s it LOL. If you need examples, hit her discography, but I’ll specifically highlight “Sue Me,” “Looking At Me,” and “Diamonds Are Forever” aka the Sab songs we’ve had her do on the show.

ZAY | Zay is an interesting one, because I don’t really think he fits any specific category in my head. He kind of defies definition. He definitely has a brassy swing to him that allows him to pull off showstopping numbers (like his Kossal audition with “Ain’t No Way”), but he can pull it back and reshape it to fit breathtaking musical theater renditions (like “Music and the Mirror”) or banging contemporary (think “Consideration” or “Self Control”) in a way that I don’t think Farkle or Maya can. He is the most vocally versatile of the bunch, and that makes his comparisons sort of wide-reaching as well. I’m not really familiar with Amir’s vocal ability outside of rap (so at least we know he can do that), but based purely on what I hear in my imagination, a few comparisons:

Leslie Odom Jr. -- A younger and less polished Odom, to be clear, but this is a big one for me. I think Odom’s vocal strength and range is so impressive, and what really strikes me is how... grounded and resonant his voice is. That’s a big thing for Zay for me -- you never doubt he’ll be able to support his vocals and that they’re strongly rooted. If he ever cracked or ran out of breath, it would be a shock. This is also really tied to Zay because of how much I would kill to see him perform “Wait For It” and how I feel like it’s such a Zay song. But anywho... Example track: Wait For It.

Frank Ocean -- Ocean has such a cool interesting range and does a lot of things with his performances vocally, so that’s why he’s on here in that he also defies definition. I think Zay also considers Ocean a musical inspiration, so it makes sense that he would adopt or emulate some of his style. I feel like he also translates emotion well, which is a key Zay trait too. Example track: Godspeed.

Amber Riley -- Now hear me out here. Obviously, Zay is a baritone and Amber is like a mezzo soprano / alto / what have you, but the reason I’m listing this Glee legend as a comp is because the quality of her performances is so sharp. It’s like, any time Amber performed on the show it was jawdropping. Her vocal runs are insane, the power behind her vocals is awe-inspiring. She captivates you from the first note, and that is why I always think of Zay. That’s how it is when he performs too, especially in moments where he’s trying to sell it (like his Kossal audition). I wouldn’t be giving my authentic comparisons if I didn’t mention this. So there. Example track: And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going (I would sell my soul to see Zay perform this. Please. PLEASE. Maybe I’ll crowdsource with Charlie and we’ll both sell our kidneys).

CHARLIE | Speaking of Charlie, he’s an interesting one, too. I honestly didn’t really... have a concept of how he sounded in my head, but then when I learned that Tanner sings, it was not at all whatever was deep in my head. But I love his voice, so I think I kind of ended up reconfiguring my perception of what Charlie sounds like around that revelation and now I’m still kind of trying to figure out exactly what that sounds like in the context of the show. The thing is, though, I think Charlie also doesn’t really know what his style is (LMAO), so it’s okay that we’re experimenting a little bit. Like in S1, the few times he sang, it was all over the place but mainly radio. Then in S2, he did predominantly musical theater duets. And now in S3, we’ve really just gone all over the map (from punk-rock opera with “Superstar” to bubblegum pop with “Party For One”) and there’s a lot of fun in that. Where Charlie will land, I don’t know yet, but I will share with you all Tanner’s only recorded song at this point and you all can start to orient yourselves from there. But a few other ideas to get the ball rolling:

Norbert Leo Butz -- Now here’s the thing... Charlie doesn’t sound like this LOL. The reason I’m including Butz is because I started writing about Jeremy Jordan and his rendition of “If I Didn’t Believe In You” and Jordan’s rendition is truly just so inferior that I realized no, I really don’t think Charlie sounds like Jeremy Jordan. So then I ended up here, and you know what, here’s the thing. I think an older Charlie would sound like Norbert Leo Butz. Like, give him 10 or so years, and this is where he’ll settle. To a degree at least -- I don’t think he’ll ever go quite as brassy or bold as Butz can lean sometimes, but the way he like... emotes through his vocals feels extremely Charlie, and the range is about right in terms of voice part. Anyway, give him 10 years, and then get to the point with this amazing example track that is one of my favorite musical theater tracks ever even though I hate the character who sings it. Example track: If I Didn’t Believe In You.

Oshima Brothers -- The shape of the O bros vocals don’t quite match how I hear Charlie in my head (they’re a bit too flat), but the essence of their performances resonate with him very strongly. It’s that gentle, soft-spoken acoustic vibe that I think is so core to Charlie’s performing delivery, which is part of why he’s so consistently overlooked even when he proves time and time again that he can bring compelling vocals (i.e. Haverford’s semi-finals setlist). Example track: Cadence.

Harry Styles -- It’s funny to think that if Charlie saw I was comparing him to Harry Styles he would lose his shit, but I want to be very specific about why and under what conditions I’m including him as a comparison (as he’ll show up on another person’s list too). I think Styles specifically works as a comp for Charlie in regards to the general tone and quality of his voice, in particular when it is on a softer acoustic (like “Cherry” or “Sweet Creature”) and when it’s more upbeat (like “Lights Up”). Like I’m not out here being like Charlie is as good as Harry Styles LOL, but I think the core qualities of their voices are similar. Especially when cross-compared with the other examples above along with Tanner’s actual voice. Example track: Sweet Creature.

ISADORA | Isadora is an anomaly of sorts, since she’s that character archetype where they never expected to be a singer but then ended up being talented anyway (Asher is in the same box). I tend to imagine her with a defined alto register, and a slightly huskier, gravelly tone as compared to Maya’s polished, trained vocals and Riley’s gentle, chime-like resonance. So it’s like... gritty, in a way? I have never heard Ceci sing, though I’ve been told she has once upon a time, but I am working basically from scratch in regards to how I imagine her. So without further ado, some comparisons I suggest:

Jorja Smith -- I think Jorja is the most Isa-like track we’ve had her do on the show thus far, to my brain at least. She has this charming edge to her vocals even when they’re on the softer side which is exactly what I envision for her, and I think there’s such a strong definition to when she jumps into her lower register. Whereas with Isa, I think it would be the same, but reaching into her upper notes would be even more of an audible stretch. Example track: Don’t Watch Me Cry.

Dua Lipa -- Another strong alto here, which automatically tracks Isadora for me. Dua especially has that husky quality I was describing. I would recommend all of her Live Acoustic EP to get a sense of what I’m highlighting most as a comparable, but it’s just that like... slight grit, gonna-kick-your-ass alto excellence. It’s so hard to articulate so I hope you get what I’m saying LOL. Example track: Tears Dry On Their Own Acoustic.

Madison Reyes -- I don’t know how many of y’all have watched Julie and the Phantoms yet, but it’s fun. And Madison has a great voice, which made her another good comp for Isadora. Same thing of like that unpolished but compelling belter, slightly gravelly quality. Example track: Wake Up.

LUCAS | Obviously, Lucas doesn’t sing all that often. And when we do give him songs, or roles in songs, most of the time it’s of a variation where he can more talk-sing the words than actually Sing. But he’s not totally exempt, so he deserves a comparison. For me, it’s like... the way Lucas would tell it it’s like he’s the worst singer ever in the history of the universe and you should never hear him, but honestly he’s like. Fine. He’s not great and he would never have gotten into the school for singing, but he’s not terrible. He’s passable. When he tries, it’s charming. I think the biggest key that makes him different from everyone else is he doesn’t have much of a range -- when I pick songs for him, I always try to go for ones that kind of stay within the same octave or register for the entirety so it’s almost like monotone singing, because that’s about what he can handle decently (his performance in 211 being an exception, of course, because it had to be). So, comparing accordingly:

Harry Styles -- I warned you he’d be back again, but this criteria is even more hyper-specific than Charlie. I think Styles is a great comp for Lucas in the very limited tracks where he is not showing off in any capacity and is really just keeping it stripped down and to the point (think “To Be So Lonely”). His cover of “Girl Crush” is another good example of what I mean. It’s basically like the same 4 or 5 notes and very little movement or flash, and his voice kind of takes on a grittier, flatter quality which is what I’m aiming for. Example track: From the Dining Table

That’s really it honestly. He doesn’t perform enough to warrant much else. You get the idea lmao.

ASHER | Although we didn’t expect it back in the days of S1, Asher has certainly jumped up to take spotlight in terms of performing in the last couple of seasons! Ricky (along with Liam) are actual singers and were together in a band for several years, so there’s no doubt they can sing and I think of their voices most often (in particular, I recommend the “Compass” music video, because it’s a good song and allows you to actively see which boy is singing what). But admittedly, Ricky’s handful of solo tracks since FIYM went on hiatus are average at best (and his lyricism... king you need Liam to write your lyrics LMAO), so I don’t usually jump to his music as examples of what I think he -- or Asher -- is actually capable of. So with Ricky’s good vocals as a base, here are some additional comparisons:

Ruel -- Cannot stress this one enough. There’s a reason Asher’s true initial debut was Ruel’s best track (”Younger”). He just has that perfect like... strong tenor with soft edges that feels very teenage twink and very Asher. It’s not quite Diva!Asher flair, but at Asher’s most base vocal style, I think Ruel is the perfect match. Example track: Down For You

Troye Sivan -- Same kind of traits here in terms of like smooth tenor, and in this case it actually is a certified twink singing so the crossover is even more apt. I don’t think Asher is as... electronic as Troye’s production often is, but the general range of his voice is close enough to be considered a match. Example track: 10/10

DYLAN | So same FIYM video shared in Asher’s applies here as well, but I think what works so well about Liam’s voice in regards to Dylan is that I think the key trait to Dylan is that he’s not flashy. When I think about Liam’s voice (and I love his voice, he’s my favorite FIYM member), I often think about when Sue on Glee called Quinn’s voice a “soft, forgettable alto,” but only it’s a tenor and I mean it in a nice way. The most endeared way. Dylan is less about being impressive and more about just like... character. His voice is not the best in the bunch but you can feel how him all of his performances are through his inflections and his energy. That’s what Dylan vocally feels like to me. So aside from his soft, forgettable tenor on the second verse of “Compass,” here’s a couple other niche comparisons for Dyl Pickle:

Princeton in Avenue Q -- Whenever “Purpose” comes on shuffle, I think about Dylan because of how distinct and energetic the delivery of the song is. There’s just so many little quirks and inflections and moments of fun within the vocals, and that reminds me so much of how Dylan performs. Little laughs, free-wheeling runs, stuff like that. Example track: Purpose.

Graham Verchere -- This dude like isn’t even actually a singer and he isn’t that big an actor, but I love love love his rendition of “Thirteen” with Grace VanderWaal and every time I listen to it I think about Dylan and Asher. It captures the other end of Dylan’s range for me (the soft, forgettable tenor thing) in the sense of like... imagining Dylan plucking out songs for fun on his guitar while hanging out with Asher and then playfully serenading him and the two of them doing a carefree, easy duet like this. I just love it. So I’ll include it. Example track: Thirteen.

[harry-styles-sunflower]

Meeting You In The Hallway Part 4

a/n: HII lovely people! I hope you are all doing well today! This is part 4 of Meeting you in the Hallway.

What it is: You move into the apartment across the hall from Harry and you begin a friendship which you both want more from but can’t communicate that want.

Word Count: 7.1K

Warning: cursing and smuttt ;) let me know if I forgot one.  

Pls reblog if you like it 😊 Thank you for all the support so far! Means so much to me! Also really hope y'all like this chapter! It’s the last one 😫

~~~

Harry wasn’t looking at you, he was bouncing his knee up and down. There was a knock on his door and he stood up quickly.

"Must be the pizza."

You nodded and watched him go. When Harry opened the door he saw the pizza guy but also saw Derek knocking on your door. He finished paying the delivery guy and watched him for a bit. He had a "to go" bag around his wrist.

"Mate?"

"Oh um Harry? Right?"

"Yeah?"

"Y/n isn’t answering I guess maybe she fell asleep or something. She forgot her leftovers in my car."

"And you had to bring them tonight?" Harry looked at him confused.

"I don’t see a problem with that, do you?" he stepped closer to Harry.

"Mate, look. I'll take the leftovers and give them to her in the morning." he says as he shakes his head.

"I know you have a thing for he-"

"Derek?" you questioned as you appeared in the doorframe.

"Y/n? What the hell are you doing here? Why didn’t you answer your phone?"

"Hey, is that a way to talk to a lady?” Harry stepped in front of you.

"Harry," you moved him out of your way a little, "I can defend myself thank you."

"Y/n I told you, I told you he had feelings for you."

Harry looked between you two. You guys had talked about him on your date. Fucking ace. He could barely hide his smile.

"Derek, I can be wherever I want to be. We aren't boyfriend or girlfriend. Remember that. I didn’t answer my phone because I left it at my place."

"Shit, you have a thing for him too huh? Don’t invite me up so you could hang out with this, this nothing."

"Derek shut up, that is my best friend you are talking about. Forget tonight even happened because now you’ve really lost any chance with me. Just go." you left and walked back into Harry's apartment.

With a grin, Harry did a little tsk tsk and closed his door behind him. He set the pizza on the coffee table and went to his bathroom. He looked himself in the mirror and had the biggest smile. You just told Derek off, you defended him. He did a happy dance and then walked out looking much more cool. Except, you were gone. His shoulders slumped and he decided to give you your space rather than run after you. You laid on your bed, desperately trying to clear your head. You didn't want to think about Derek or Harry. You wanted to run away from both of them. Derek had apologized but you just left him on read. You didn't care. You texted your nursing manager and asked if you could do some over time tomorrow. They're frequently short so she said yes and you went to sleep since you had to be up early.

 ~~~

That morning you went to work and actually felt super excited. You hadn't seen your kids in like 3 days. You were off for 4 but you needed today. As you got report from your work buddy Chris. He was the typical dad that gave all the great dad jokes. He made the kids laugh and feel better. You had one patient you definitely favored. It wasn't supposed to happen, but you couldn’t help it. Her name was Malika and she was four years old. She had been in the hospital for about a year now.

"Good morning beautiful" you said as you walked into her room.

"Nurse y/n! I missed you." she said as she got up on her knees to give you a hug. You hugged her and kissed her head. Yes, you were very attached to her. Her parents loved you too. You were each other's favorites.

"I missed you! I'm sorry I was gone. But I came in today."

"I'm excited for today. Do you have a lot of patients?"

"Just you and lil David down the hall."

"David had a rough night. I saw doctors go in and out a lot."

"Yeah, he did.." You hated what these kids had to go through. Malika was only four years old but could tell you everything that was "wrong" with her.

"Well, Dr. Stevens said my body is ready to go outside."

"Hmm, did she?"

"Mhm, last night"

"Where do you wanna go? Playground? Or the jungle room?"

"Jungle room is just a bunch of plants, I wanna go on the playground."

You laughed at her answer and said okay. You changed all her dressings and brushed her little bit of hair. It made her feel more girly. Your morning went by fast and you got your sandwiches for you and Malika. You wheeled her out of her room and grabbed a sweater before leaving her room. You settled on the playground and moved her to a bench. You know how much she hated her wheelchair. She ate her sandwich and you had to remind her to slow down. Her stomach was very sensitive with all of the chemo treatments.

"y/n?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have a prince?"

"No, I don’t have a prince." you wanted to tell her prince's weren't real but you couldn't do that to her.

"Are you sure? I have one"

You tried not to laugh but asked, "Oh really? Who?"

"Dr. Evans"

"Oh yeah, he's a good looking prince." you said as you walked her over to the swing. You lifted her up and tied her in and swung her lightly. You had to face her front to see if her body showed any signs of sickness.

"You know who's a good looking prince?"

"Who?"

"That guy" she pointed towards someone behind you.

"Malika don’t point its rude," you put her hand down gently. You turned around and saw Harry with his hands in his pockets. You took a deep breath and turned back to Malika.

"Hey, I think its time we go up. You need to take your medicine and rest a bit. Today was big day, going outside."

"Okay" she said with a pout.

You helped her off the swing and back into her wheel chair. You mouthed to Harry, "I'll be back". He nodded and sat on the bench. You walked and wheeled Malika into the elevator. You jumped a little when she spoke up.

"You knew him, didn’t you?"

"I did."

She turned around slightly, "Prince?"

"I don't know," you shrugged, "he's my Kristoff right now."

"Kristoff and Anna end up together."

"I know," you wink at her and wheel her out.

You get her settled back in her room and tuck her in. Going outside always exhausted her body. Especially if there was a lot of sun. You put on Frozen 2 because she claimed that now you made her want to watch it. You dimmed the lights and walked out. You checked on Dave and the NA in his room said nothing new so you let her know you were going on your lunch break. You took the elevator down and took deep breaths. You tried to run away from Harry but he ran after you anyway. Pretty much prince material. You saw him sitting on the bench before you walked out the door. He was wearing sweatpants and a workout shirt. His hair was pushed up in a little pony. You walked out and slowly walked towards him before settling down beside him.

"Har, what are you doing here?" you played with your fingers in your lap.

"You left last night."

"I had to work"

"No you didn’t, you sent me your schedule. Did you forget?"

Fuck.

"I'm doing overtime, they needed more people today" Not a total lie.

"We never got to finish our conversation"

"And you think my job is the place to do it?"

"No, I thought maybe after work we could go somewhere."

"Why?"

"I've finished a book. Short story thing. To celebrate"

"I won't ever get to read it will I?"

"I don't know. Would have to think about."

You sighed. You just wanted to know. Did he like you or not?

"Yeah okay, text me the details. I've gotta go. Break is almost over." you stood up and felt his fingers wrap around your wrist. He stood up and pulled you closer towards him.

"Y/n.."

"Har.. Just say whatever it is"

"I won’t like you if it'll ruin our friendship.."

You looked in his eyes and saw them full of worry. You couldn’t help but grab his face in your hands.

"It wouldn't"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He searched your face before dropping your wrist and wrapping his hands around your waist pulling you closer to him. He slammed his lips onto yours and you felt as if you melted in his arms. You pushed the back of his neck closer to you and one hand stayed on your hip while the other brushed against your cheeks. You felt everything, sparks, fireworks, everything. You pulled away briefly but he closed the gap quickly and you smiled against his lips. He pulled away soon after and mumbled a low 'sorry.' he was blushing and you figured your cheeks were red too.

"its okay," you leaned up on tippy toes and kissed him slowly. You couldn’t get enough. "I really have to go though."

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "I'll pick you up. Um, we don't have to go out if you don't want to… but I would love to take you out."

"You can pick me up, we can go on a small date." you smiled up at him and walked backwards towards the door.

He nodded and let you go. You turned around to start walking inside but he ran up to you and kissed you again before actually leaving. You went back upstairs and checked on Dave then Malika. You saw her crawl back into bed and make believe she was half asleep.

"I saw that"

"You have a prince! I saw it!"

You giggled and sat next to her. "I know! I wasn’t expecting that!"

"Who is he?"  

“I think he might be my Kristoff” you say as you tuck her back in. “Get some rest”

You continue charting and check on Dave. Before you know it it’s 6 pm. You give report to Chris and check your phone.

H: I’m outside :) hope your day was easy.

Y/n: I’m coming down now.

You walked down and saw Harry standing outside. He had a sunflower in his hand and smiled at you.

“Hi,” you smiled up at him as he handed you the flower. You loved sunflowers; he knew this.

“Hey” he kissed your forehead.

“How was your day?”

“Good. Might’ve wrote a song, finishing up my short story book”

“Sounds productive,” you walked and he grabbed your hand pulling you into the inside of the sidewalk. You noticed how gentleman like he was. “Will I ever get to know who that last song I heard was about?”

“Meet you in the hallway? That was about you love. Pretty obvious if you ask me.”

“Well I didn’t know if you were talking to anyone else maybe before I moved in or something.” You bit your lip preparing yourself for the worst.

“I’ve been alone for quite a bit now,” he squeezes your hand, “it’s only been you”

You bit your lip and regretted that you couldn’t say you were on the same boat. He put his hand up to your cheek and gave you a soft yet sweet kiss.

“Did you wanna still go on our “small” date?”

You nodded and gave him another kiss. You felt like you were floating with each kiss. He walked you to your favorite pizza parlor. You two sat, talked, and grabbed a few slices before calling it a night and going home. You both went to your respective apartments and agreed to shower before meeting at your place. You wanted Harry no doubt, but he didn’t seem like the type to take you without making things official. After you both finished showering, you settled on the couch and watched the vampire diaries until you both felt sleepy.

“Love, lets go to bed yeah?”

“You’re going home?”

“If you want me to”

“You can sleep in my bed if you want, you don’t have to though”

“I wouldn’t mind that”

You both got up and walked to your bed. You turned your fan on and got under the covers.

“I uh usually sleep without a shirt, if you mind I’ll keep it on.”

“I don’t mind. I usually sleep without pants… would you mind?”

Harry was a little shocked you felt comfortable with him enough to do that but you would be under the covers anyway. He wouldn’t really see much. He wasn’t some creep to look under after you had fallen asleep.

“No I don’t mind”

You shimmied out of them under the covers and settled on Harry’s chest when he joined you in bed. You both soon found a comfortable position and fell asleep.

~~~

You woke up with Harry cuddling you from behind. You felt it. It was poking you in the ass. You scooted a little further away from it so you didn’t provoke anything. It was 4 am and you had to go to work. You left Harry a note on your pillow and gave him a kiss on the head before leaving. You weren't assigned Malika because you were floated to the NICU, but you visited her on your lunch break. Harry had texted you around 8 am,

H: Good morning love ❤️, woke up a little later than I expected lol. Your bed is just so comfy. Who would've known?

G: Good morning☺️, you’re always welcomed in my bed 😚

You felt like you were back in high school, you wanted to go home and kiss him and cuddle with him.

H: Sounds amazing, I'm going on my run love. Talk later Xx

G: Okay xx

Harry went on his run and only thought of you. He couldn’t believe that he was lucky enough to not only have you in his life, but have you as someone who likes him. He wanted to do something special for you everyday. He didn't know how but you had all of his heart already. When Harry fell for someone, he fell hard. He wanted to know more about your feelings for him but didn't know how to ask. You hid everything so well. Flirtatious yeah, but he didn’t know if you actually wanted to date. He decided he was going to make you a dinner and try to talk about it. After his run he walked to a liquor store by your building and bought your favorite wine. The day flew by rather quickly and you had a message from Harry to meet him at his apartment. You wouldn't lie if you said you weren't disappointed he couldn’t walk you home from work. You just missed him a lot. You made it up to your apartment and showered quickly. You were used to dressing pretty comfortable around Harry but you wanted to impress him a little bit. You put some ripped jeans on and a cropped sweater. You may have also put a lace bralette underneath. You also decided that you would tell Harry about your feelings, you reflected throughout your day and realized you were never really vocal about it. Harry had been the more vocal one. You walked across the hall and walked into his place, he had texted you that the door would be open. You walked in and his back was to you. He was looking in his fridge and you snaked your arms around his waist. He jumped slightly but still gently squeezed your arms. You let him go so he could turn around and face you.

"Hi," you said looking up at him

"Hi." he held your face in his hands.

"Smells good," you leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"You smell better." you laughed and gave him a hug before settling onto one his stools in his kitchen.

"How was your day?"

"It was good, um are you free Friday night?"

"Yeah, I'm off Friday why?"

"Got a gig"

"Ooh okay. Does that make me a groupie?"

"Not even that famous so no, never" he laughed.

"I'll be there. Did you finish your whole book thing Mr. Mysterious."

"Takes a while to process, I'm still working on the end. Didn't like the original."

"Can I read something you’ve written?"

"Maybe later," he winked your way before putting some mushrooms in a saucepan.

"Okay," you felt nervous, like your stomach was doing cartwheels, "Har, can I say something?"

He wasn’t facing you so you couldn’t see how his eyes widened or how he nervously bit his lip. He began thinking that maybe you were going to take it all back and say you just wanted to be friends.

"Yeah, what's up?" he stayed cooking, back towards you, this helped you express your feelings so you didn’t mind

"I just wanted to say, um because I haven't yet, that um I do like you. Um like more than a friend. I have for a while, I know I hid it well. I didn't want to lose you as a friend though. But um yeah just wanted to say I'm not trying to waste your time…" you breathed out. You just rambled, god, you put your head in your hands embarrassed.

Harry walked towards you and lifted your head up, "I feel the same way. I was perhaps a bit more obvious. But I'm not trying to waste your time either,"

You nodded, "so we're dating? I'm sorry but I'm a labeler I like to know exactly what we are and-"

You were cut off by his lips pressing against your yours. You kissed back because how could you not. He pulled away and you pouted.

"Ever since I tucked you into bed that one night, I've wanted you to be mine."

You smiled up at him but it quickly turned into a frown, "Har, I think the saucepan is on fire"

He let you go quickly before putting the mini fire out. "Um so how about some penne with some tomato and shrimp?"

"That sounds fine," you laughed.

You rolled your sleeves up excited to eat. He serves you a plate and a glass of your favorite wine.

“Look at us, who would’ve thought?” You giggled as you drank your wine. You were not trying to get tipsy tonight. You drank extra slow.

“I know right,” he smiled at you, “do you mind if I shower after we eat? Feel sweaty from cooking.”

“Yeah that’s fine, I mean you are a lil stinky” you scrunched your nose.

“Oh really?” He finished his plate and got closer and towered over you. You turned around and opened your legs so he could step between them.

“Mhm” you looked up at him innocently.

He moved your plate to the side from behind you and lifted you up onto his island. He was standing in between your legs and looked like heaven.

“I take it back,” you kissed him hard and wrapped your legs around him. He kissed you back for a few minutes but pulled away.

“Too late, I’m still gonna go shower.”

“Fine” you gave him a quick peck before he left.

After he was gone you finished your plate and wine and decided to clean up the kitchen for him. It was only fair since he cooked. You wanted to clean up all the papers on the floor too but you knew he understood his mess so you didn’t want to mess it up. You walked around his living room and reviewed his bookshelf. Any of these books could be his. Damn pseudonym. You accidentally stepped on a piece of paper. You looked around before picking it up. There were random sentences on the paper. But then a small paragraph towards the bottom.

I don't ever tell you how I really feel

'Cause I can't find the words to say what I mean

And nothing's ever easy

That's what they say

I know I'm not your only

But I'll still be a fool

'Cause I'm a fool for you

There was a date on the corner. It was the same day you went on your date with Derek. Your heart broke a little that these words were about you. You wanted to read more but you also didn’t want to invade his privacy. You heard his bathroom door open and you dropped the paper on the floor. You turned around to review his bookshelf. When he came out he saw the kitchen was cleaned up and smiled at your gesture.

“Hey” You turned around to face him. He was wearing a plain black t shirt with some Nike sweats.

“Hey, I like your collection of books.”

“Trying to figure out which are mine?”

“Maybe, but I don’t wanna know until you feel ready to tell me.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah no problem. I know it’s personal”

“A lil bit.”

“Harry, were you really crying over the vampire diaries that night?”

“Umm, no. But it doesn’t matter anymore.” He grabbed your waist and pulled you close against him.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“It’s fine. I’m just happy we’re together now.”

You blushed just hearing him say it.

“Me too. Any new songs for the gig Friday?”

“Eh, idk. Maybe.” He didn’t want to sing the last one he wrote because things had changed between you two.

"Can you teach me how to play guitar?"

"You wanna learn?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Okay c'mere," he sits on the couch and grabs his guitar. He teaches you the basics like the body, the fretboard, and the headstock. "Okay now the first string is the thinnest of all strings, it’s a high E when played. And so when you play the opposite, the sixth and thickest string, it’s a low E" he played them so you could hear the difference. He continued to explain the different strings but you got lost in his voice and watching his hands.

"Y/n?"

"Hm?" you looked away from his hands and looked at his bright green eyes.

"Were you listening?" he smirked at you.

"Yeah I was," you grab the guitar and sit on his lap and put the guitar on yours. "Teach me how to play Girl crush, I love that song" he put his hands over yours and guided your fingers over the strings. The melody was barely there but you could hear it slightly. You adjusted yourself and earned a groan from Harry.

"Oops. Sorry"

"Its okay" Harry tried to not think of how good that felt. It'd been a long time since he'd been with anyone. He didn’t really like hookups. He wanted to do It with someone he genuinely liked and enjoyed. He wanted to do it wi-

"Har?"

"Yeah love, sorry. Got distracted. Was thinking about Friday's set"

"Maybe I can take your mind off of it?"

"Maybe you can."

You turned around and straddled his lap. He put his hands on your waist. His hands were warm and welcoming. They felt hot against your skin. Cropped sweater was a good choice you thought. You leaned in slowly and he closed the gap between you kissing you hungrily. You wrapped your arms around his neck and subconsciously moved your hips against him. He groaned and leaned down to kiss your neck. He left wet open mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. You grabbed his face again and kissed him hard while grinding against him. You couldn't help it. You needed some relief.

"Harry," you moaned against his lips before kissing his neck. You bit him lightly and left kisses all around his neck. He squeezed your waist and worked his hands down to your ass.

"Fuck, y/n. We should stop."

You pulled away quickly, "Stop?"

"Yeah, I don't know. If you don’t wanna do anything I understand. So I just think we should stop before we get ahead of ourselves." you watched him as he spoke. Getting more turned on each second that passed.

"And what if I do want to do something?"

"W-well then I wont stop you"

"Good" you smashed your lips against his.

"Bed?" you nodded and stood up but he grabbed you closer picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he walked you to his bedroom. He put you down gently and crawled in between your legs.

"I'm sorry it’s a fucking mess," he tossed a notebook to the floor while you kissed his neck and moaned instead of speaking. Your fingers played with the hem of his shirt.

"I want this off," you said lifting his shirt and he put his arms up helping you get it off. He lifted your crop sweater and took it off swiftly.

"Ah you really wanted this," he eyed your lace bralette.

"I did now hush," you pulled him down on top of you and kissed his lips down to his chest.

"Love, its been a while for me," he said in between kisses.

"Me too." you pulled his pants down and your feet helped you push them off.

"Why'd you wear jeans?" he questioned as he unbuttoned them.

"Wanted to impress you and not look like a hobo."

"You could never," he kissed you sweetly and you smiled in the kiss as he helped take your jeans off. He kissed down your chest to your stomach. You leaned your head back against your pillow. It was like he didn’t want to leave any spot of your body untouched by his lips. He lifted your leg up and kissed your ankle down your leg toward your thigh. His fingers wrapped around the sides of your underwear.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes," you breathed out.

He pulled them down your legs slowly and once they were off he was back to kissing your inner thighs. He ran a finger through your slit and you groaned at the touch.

"So wet already love," you felt his tongue on your center and you moaned at the relief. He sucked at your clit and put a finger in. you felt his rings, a cold contrast to his warm finger. He kept sucking and licking while pumping his finger in and out of you, "Feel so good around my fingers" you moaned at his words and squeezed your legs around his head. He put one arm across your hips to hold you down.

"Harry I'm not gonna last," you clenched around his fingers before he pulled away.

"Not just yet," he lifted his head up and crawled back on top of you.

"That was not okay." you flipped you two over so harry was on his back. You kissed down his chest to his stomach. Your tongue traced over his fern tattoos.

"Shit.." he watched as you rubbed him through his boxers and placed light kisses. You pulled his boxers down slowly and you were pleasantly surprised. He was bigger than you thought. You began pumping him and placing light kisses around his tip.

"Fuck I shouldn’t have teased you,"

"You shouldn’t have." you put the majority of him in your mouth all at once earning a loud moan from Harry. You bobbed your head up and down and handled the rest with your hand. You saw Harry's abs tense up so you slowed down and took his balls into your mouth. He grabbed your hair in his hand and watched you. You looked up at him keeping eye contact until he shut his eyes from pleasure.

"Love, I'm not gonna last if you keep doing that." You fit what you could in your mouth and sucked hard releasing him with a popping sound. He grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you hard laying you back down on your back.

"Gotta get a condom" you grabbed his forearm before he could get up.

"I'm on the pill," he looked at you a little confused. You had told him it had been a while. "Its for my period but it does work as a dual purpose. And I'm clean. But if you wanna use a condom I'm okay with that too."

"I'm clean too," he kissed you as he opened your legs and rubbed himself against your slit. "You sure this is okay?"

"Yes babe" It was the first time you called him something besides his name. He loved the way it sounded. He kissed you slowly and pushed into you slowly. It felt intense since it had been so long and from the groans coming from the back of his throat you could tell he felt the same. His thrusts slowly became quicker. You moaned his name when he reached down to rub your clit. You'd never had sex like this before, he was so attentive.

"Does this feel good love?"

"Yes," you kissed his cheek before wrapping your arm around his neck and moaned in his ear, "Har, can I get on top?"  

He moaned and nodded. He hooked his arm around your back and flipped you while remaining inside you the whole time. It was fucking hot. He finally took your bralette off. You put your hands on the side of his neck and began kissing him while bouncing up and down on his dick. He moaned a little louder each time.

"I'm close baby"

"Me too love" He took your nipple into his mouth and lightly nibbled.

Your could feel the tightness in your stomach and you clenched around him.

"Ugh that feels so good Har,"

You tried to keep your rhythm but it became hard once you found your release. You moaned while brushing your lips against his. You pushed his hair off his sweaty forehead and looked him in the eye as you came. He wrapped his arm around your waist tightly while his hips bucked up into you. It felt amazing and he kept eye contact until he came, shutting his eyes from pleasure. Your foreheads were stuck together as you rode out your highs. He grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you hard before slowing down. He grabbed the back of your thigh to flip you over on your back before slowly pulling out of you. You continued to kiss slowly until Harry kissed down your neck and laid his head on your chest. Your breathing slowed down and you ran your fingers through his hair.

"Har, I have to pee."

"Right," he kissed in between your breasts and got off. He adjusted his pillows and laid on one side of his bed waiting for you to come back.

You went to the bathroom, did your business and put your underwear back on and Harry's shirt you grabbed before leaving the room. Afterwards you fixed your hair in the mirror and went back to Harry's room. He was on the right side of the bed and his blanket covered his lower half. He looked so good you couldn’t help but run and jump onto his bed and sit on his lap.

"Hi" you smiled at him.

"You look good in my shirt," he rubbed your sides.

"Its soft" you blushed a little.

"Look y/n," he looked down, you became a little nervous, "I just wanted to say I usually have a bit more stamina," He laughed lightly.

You laughed and kissed him. "I mean for someone who supposedly hasn’t done it in a while I think we went on for pretty long."

"I'm saying I could get a few rounds out of you on a normal day," he kissed you again and bit your lip.

"Are you trying to go again right now?"

"I would but we have to be up early tomorrow," you furrowed your brows at him, "oh did you forget you have work tomorrow?"

"No but why'd you say we?"

"Well since you're my girl now I gotta walk you there," he said as he placed his head in the crook of your neck.

"Your girl?"

"Mhm"

"I like that,"

"I like babe a lot,"

You blushed remembering when you called him that, "Oh so you heard."

"Course I did, it was music to my ears"

You giggled and you guys eventually then switched into spooning.

"I set our alarm already" he said as he kissed the back of your shoulder. His arm was around your waist and your legs were tangled. You yawned and let out a thank you. You drifted off into sleep and so did Harry. Next thing you knew you heard the blaring noise of his alarm clock. He leaned over you to turn it off. You felt his morning wood again and giggled.

"Don't laugh, it hurts."

"Oops. Sorry." you smiled into his pillow eyes closed.

He kissed your cheek and got up to use the bathroom. You stretched into a big X on his bed. You remembered you never brought your scrubs over last night.

"Harry," you said loudly enough for him to hear, "I forgot my uniform!"

He came out with his toothbrush in his mouth and mumbled, "Go and get ready at your place if you want and when you're done I'll have breakfast ready."

"Okay. I'm keeping this shirt by the way." you said as you got up and pulled your jeans on.

"Sure you are."

"I am," you leaned up and gave him a kiss on his cheek before bending over to pick up your shirt. He took advantage of this and slapped your ass playfully. You shook your head before running out of his apartment and into yours. You would be lying if you said you didn't get ready a little faster this morning because you were so happy. He made you over easy eggs and home fries with a side of toast. He really loves to go all out for you.

"Thank you for breakfast babe" you grinned at him.

"Of course, can't have my girl go to work hungry" you laughed at how lovesick you two were.

~~~

It was Friday and you were getting dressed for Harry's gig. Against Harry's wishes you agreed to just meet there if you agreed to take a cab and not walk. You straightened your hair pin straight and wore a white tank top with beige high waisted dress pants. They flared out on the bottom. You wore them with nude heels and carried one of Harry's dress coats in your hand just in case you got cold. You walked into the small café, there was light chatter and dim lights. It was different than his last gig but you liked it. You weren't in the mood for the bar scene anyway. Since the weather was getting colder as New York City transitioned into fall you were in the mood for hot chocolate. The stage was lit up and you saw Harry's guitar standing against the wall.

Y/n: hey just wanted to let you know I'm here. Its packed though so I'm gonna stay near the back corner.

You can see he read it but doesn’t answer. You don't take it to heart because he's probably just busy rehearsing. He comes out on stage a few seconds later and greets the crowd. His set starts off the same as last time and you watch the crowd watch him. They seem to enjoy his covers and original "meet you in the hallway". You liked that he took his time to write a song about you but you hated that it was basically about how sad you made him.

"Next song I'm gonna sing is an original as well, its called treat people with kindness."

The song was more upbeat and the lyrics were happier. You were so proud of him. You wanted him to keep doing this, strive for more. Maybe he was a writer, but he could do damn well as a singer too. Once he finished and the crowd cheered for him he went backstage with his guitar and then came out shaking hands with some older man. You figured that maybe he was the owner of the café. He walked over to you and put his ring covered hands on your face and kissed you.

"Guess what?"

"What?" you kissed him again.

"That guy I was just talking to? His name is Jeff Azoff and he walked in here for a coffee and heard me. His dad is Irving Azoff, wants me to go in a studio to hear me properly"

"Woah no way. Doesn't Irving Azoff have like a whole management company?"

"MHMM"

"I'm so proud of you baby" you hugged him tight.

"Think you can stick by me through it?"

"I'm here now," you kissed him, "and I'll be there at your retirement party"

"Already thinking of me getting old?" he grinned at you.

"Oh yeah," you put your arms around his neck, "gonna be a silver fox" you winked.

He shook his head at you and kissed you again.

"C'mon, I wanna go home." he grabbed your hand and dragged you backstage to grab his guitar. You make it out of the café and walk hand in hand.

"Har, you sure you don’t want to celebrate?"

"I do, but in one of our beds"

"That's um that's.. I got my period this morning" you gave him a frown.

"Eh that's okay. I don’t see a problem" he shrugged.

"Harry!" you hit his arm.

"What! I'm serious! Just put a towel under you and I'll use a condom" he shrugged again.

"How about a blowjob and we call it a night with some wine in bed?"

"Sounds good to me but consider period sex for the future" he laughed lowly at you.

You simply shook your head at him and just kept walking by his side.

You walked up to your apartment and you both got ready for bed. When Harry got in your bed he put his arms around your waist began kissing at your neck. You knew what he wanted but you weren’t sure if you were comfortable with that yet.

“Har,”

“I know I know,” he laid back against your pillows.

“It was your big night. You deserve the special treatment” your hand rubbed over chest and downwards.

“Yeah but I love pleasuring you more” he pouted.

You hopped on top of him and kissed his neck.

“How very selfless of you” you kissed down his chest and rubbed him through his boxers. He groaned and put his hand under your chin for a kiss.  

You kissed him hard and took him out of his boxers. You moved your hand up and down slowly, teasingly.

“Y/n” he breathed

You moved in between his legs and kissed down his naval still moving your hand. You lightly kissed his balls and he sucked in a breath. You smiled and took all that you could of him in your mouth. He looked down watching you before throwing his head back against your pillow from pleasure. You sucked hard and focused a bit on his head. You spit on it and then repeated what you just did.

“Shit” he cursed.

You kept bobbing your head up and down and picked up your pace as you went. Your other hand massaged his balls. He bucked his hips up and it made you gag slightly.

“Fuck I’m sorry that just felt really good,”

“It’s okay” you said a little out of breath. You went back to what you were doing and steadied your breath. You slowly attempted to take all of him breathing through your nose. Once your nose was touching his pelvis you stayed there for as long as you could before sucking all of him again and releasing him. You used your hand afterwards and sucked on his balls a bit.

“I’m close love”

You attempted to deepthroat again and that’s when you heard his mumble of curses begin. You felt his cum hit the back of your throat and you began sucking at his head. Sucking all you could out of him.

“Fuck me holy shit” he grabbed your hair and tugged lightly. Once you were sure there was no more cum and felt him getting a little softer you kissed around his hips and laid back onto his chest.

“That was amazing. Thank you.”

“Of course baby, you deserved it” you kissed him and you two soon fell asleep.

~~~

One Month Later

"My love! I have a present!"

You had barely seen Harry. If he wasn't in the studio, he was at the publishing house. You tried to be understanding but it did get to you on somedays when you missed his company.

"Hey, what's up?" you dried your hands as you had just finished washing dishes. He had a big smile on his face and there was a box in front of him.

"This is for you, its for everything. For being my friend, girlfriend, support system, and for all the late nights I wasn't able to sleep in the same bed as you."

Your heart warmed at his words and you gave him a kiss. You pulled the box closer towards you as you were standing across the small kitchen table. You lifted the top off and it was a book. The front cover was a picture of your door, 17G boldened. The title was "Meeting You In The Hallway" by Harry Styles. You felt your eyes get a little watery.

"N-no pseudonym?"

He shook his head at you and walked to you and put his arms around your waist.

"No, because this is the one story I'm proud of"

A tear fell and you kissed him hard.

"Look at the last page"

You grabbed the book and flipped to the last page quickly. Typed was "I love you y/n. Lets change meet you in the hallway to meet you on the patio?"

"You wanna move in together?" you looked up at him.

"I want to buy a house together" he smiled down at you.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

You nodded quickly and brought him down to your height to give him a kiss that said all you needed to say.

[calypsoff]

Twenty Five. Part 2

Smiling down at Robyn, I feel so fulfilled. I can’t even comprehend this feeling, nobody understands this because she left and I never got this moment and now I have “I feel so complete you know, I got to go to prom with you” placing my hands on her butt “why is it I have a feeling that this would have been the moment?” Licking my lips smirking “huh, what moment? Little miss nasty?” Robyn smirked as she placed her hands on my chest “you know damn well what I mean but thank you. This has been the best thing that has happened to me, I feel so much in love with you. Thank you for being the best man, you have been so supportive of me and I can’t fault you for that, I know I have been annoying with things but thank you” shaking my head “not annoying, it’s understandable” pressing a kiss to her forehead, I grinned looking down at Robyn as she put her head down “don’t cry” I said in a whisper “you know I got you, I love you so much” I hate when she cries “forehead kisses, you being like this is making me emotional. You’re the best” I chuckled, the song ended and so did Robyn’ and I little bubble, taking in a deep breath “woo” my friends clapped their hands “y’all some goofy niggas, y’all done making things all mushy?” Shaking my head, holding Robyn’ hand “I got my prom night, I ain’t a heartbroken nigga anymore” Barry dapped me “I am super happy for you both, this was needed for you both. Chris never got over this, I think his life was never the same when you left” Barry can stop now “I think the next time we going to see you both like this is when you both getting married” raising an eyebrow “marriage, you are putting that in the air” they crazy “you are so whipped Chris’ it’s actually sickening, you don’t even realise how sickening you are. But here we are, I’m happy for you both. Y’all leaving now” TJ winked “I ain’t that whipped, it’s just nice to do that” Barry groaned out “who the hell does this for anyone? You are so whipped, oh my god” rolling my eyes “picture guys!” Tina said, turning to Robyn “let me fix ya crown queen” Barry made gagging sounds “this nigga is a whole lie” hitting Barry in his stomach, Robyn stood to the side and I stood behind her “oh we are going old school” Tina took the picture of us.

Chewing on my bottom lip watching Robyn just posting on Instagram, I want to devour this girl so badly. She is looking like a whole meal “I wrote this, my baby surprised me. I went back to school and had our prom and become prom queen and king, I don’t deserve him. He’s made me the happiest girl in the world” I cooed out “thank you poppa” pressing a kiss to her lips “you deserve it, you uhm ready to go now” I ain’t pushing but I want to go “yeah of course, I just can’t believe it. You really did this, what made you do it? Like seriously? You do nothing if you aren’t pushed so why?” Rubbing the back of my neck smirking “you’ve have a pretty shit time Robyn, and I feel like it’s made you close off a little. I wanted to open that heart of yours again, I feel we both can let life get between us and I hear you, I see you are feeling like I would stray away because I was at Diddy’ party, I get it but also you should get me and know I would never. The girls weren’t you; they are just plain fake. I want the real and that is you, and I wanted to do something nice for you and look at that smile” Robyn stared at me in awe, she is happy, and I like that “let’s go, Tina I’m going now. I will call you once we are ready to go back home” Robyn rushed to Tina, a spring in her step which to me verifies she is going to be ready for tonight.

Robyn is doing the most, she can’t stop posting “again?” I said laughing “how can anyone say our love ain’t real? Look at us, I mean I look terrible, but we look as one, they say when someone is your soulmate you start to look like them, I think it’s true. Your forehead is coming out” placing my hand over my forehead “I’m joking but they do say it but thank you for today. Your mother said my son is up to no good and I said how do you know that? You can’t just say that and not back it up and she said because you had a grin that is saying you are up to something when you left and look at that. I can’t wait to be married and just take you off the market” I smiled nervously “marriage huh? You don’t need to take me off anything, I’m yours and I have made that clear but doing what I did for you. You know, I was there, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t look because I did but it gave me nothing, girls tried to speak to me. They are the ones hitting me up, they are for cheating and they want to do these things to me but it’s me, it takes two to cheat Robyn and I ain’t that, on god I’m not” Robyn smiled lightly “love you my heart” Robyn rested against me, she is pleased with my answer I am assuming “just that you know there is other girls with bigger boobs than me, bigger ass than me, a nicer body than me. Probably give better head because I don’t really do that, you know?” resting my chin a top of her head “you are so stupid sometimes, they can shake their titties all they want. I got you, they all fake. How can one be so like this? You are literally wanted by every man” it’s crazy to think that “because men see me has a fuck. I just want to know my man will want me and my small titties, you know” I chuckled “forever my love” she is so silly at times, I think she overthinks things too much.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I feel so giddy about all of this “you know what Chris, I have had a pretty horrible time and I feel like I wouldn’t have got through this without you. I would be stuck in my blackhole, I am doing this because of you. I am being me because you make me feel this way, I thank you so much Chris. And today, I swear you have made me the happiest. You have been there for my downs; you have seen me at my worst. You have cleaned me, cuddled me. Thank you so much” she is being too sweet “stop it, get off the elevator. This is what a man does, I am doing it because I love you” Robyn walked off the elevator “I do not deserve you at all, I swear I don’t Chris. You are the sweetest soul. I love you” grabbing the key card from my pocket “I love you more twin” inserting the key card in the door “ladies first, sexy ladies first” I added “thank you daddy” holding the door open for her as she entered “what?” she breathed out “those fake candle lights still on?” peaking through the door “Christopher, poppa” I have really hit the jackpot, I just know it “follow the path” touching Robyn’ butt as she made her way into the room but then it just hit me, this looks like a proposal like this is wild I have done the most about all of this, I mean marriage. That can wait, it has to wait but I cannot do it now “I am so in love already” walking behind Robyn and up the steps, this deadass looks like a proposal, I am dumb.

“Oh my god son son is here! He is waiting for us!” I chuckled making it up the steps, grinning wide seeing the bed with the heart shape with roses “this is beautiful, I am so speechless. When I said I can’t help you, it’s like you know but you hate doing it. I love you poppa” placing Robyn’ bag on the floor of the room, I know the air in the room has changed, licking my bottom lip. I can feel it, I feel it so bad and I know Robyn does too. Robyn turned to me “uh yeah, how about you pop open that champagne” this is dumb, like I am dumb because the fuck. Did I just shy away from sex, this is some shit. I am feeling nervous, that is it. not nervous in a bad way but like feeling all giddy inside. Clearing my throat making my way around the bed “elephant in the room” Robyn said “huh” looking over at Robyn dumbfounded, the bottle popped open “you got some good hands on you ma” I admitted, she really do “I know how to work my shit Chris” licking my lips laughing “I can see that” Robyn grabbed the glasses and made her way over to me “elephant in the room Chris, I know you feel it, I feel it too” taking the glasses from Robyn “feel the love? Yes I do” Robyn poured the champagne “that too but don’t play dumb with me” clearing my throat again, my throat is dry, Watching Robyn turn away to place the bottle down “for you princess” holding out her glass “here is to us, to our future” we clinked glasses, our eyes never left each other as we drank from the glass, oh this is going to happen tonight, and I am so ready for it.

This feels like our first time, the first time at the hotel room. Touching the corner of Robyn’ face and brought it close to me. Robyn closed her eyes, exhaling a deep breath “Chris” she whispered when my breath trickled down the side of her neck. I nibbled at her skin, earning a small moan from her. My left hand at her waist, and my right gently touched her lips with my finger and dropped my head until our foreheads touched. Lowering my head and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth. Robyn leaned in closer and deepened the kiss, she pushed her tongue against my closed lips, urging them to open. Our tongues tangled and the heat between us was just beginning to spark to life, instantly I felt the urge hit me. I want this woman so bad, our breathing hitched, and Robyn tugged at my top to take it off. Pulling my top over my head, Robyn was quick to start pressing kisses to my chest, she missed me, she missed my touch, and I can tell she has. Robyn pressed kisses upon kissed on my chest and then she nibbled on my nipples, my breathing hitched, she hasn’t ever done that to me and that felt good. She continued to kiss my chest and made her way down, making sure to kiss on my navel, she has really got me feeling a type of way under her spell. I was going to let her continue but it’s me, I want to make her feel good. She managed to unbuckle my jeans before I picked her like it was nothing and placed her on the bed “son, son can’t see this Chris. Move him” of course she would remember that damn bear, grabbing the bear and throwing him to the chair in the corner “be nice to him, he better not be able to see” shaking my head “never, it’s good” she is funny, she need to quit thinking of that bear.

I nibbled my way down her body, first stopping at her breast and tracing the tip of my tongue around her nipples. Robyn’ body arched, and she released a throaty moan, leaving her breast I kissed my way down to her belly button, circling my tongue over it. Continuing pass her panties, I kissed her inner thighs. I smirked moving back from Robyn’ centre, I know she is not happy thinking I ain’t giving her pussy the attention it deserves. I took her feet in my hands and began to massage them. Sitting up on her elbows she watched me apply deep pressure to the sole of her foot before rubbing down to the heel then back up again. Staring at Robyn, my eyes never leaving hers as I started kissing her feet. I started slow, moving my lips around her foot, occasionally sticking my tongue out to lick various spots. My intention is to please her; bring her immense pleasure. I kissed each toe on both of her feet and Robyn shuddered. Using my thumbs to create a circular motion, Robyn is completely taken aback when I pulled one of her toes in my mouth. Placing her feet back on the bed, Chris kissed her ankles with an intense look in my eye. My lips moved further up her legs, Robyn bucked her hips in response to me finally pulling her panties off, her sex was free and throbbing to be tended to.

Once we were both naked, I positioned myself over her. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss “open your legs” I whispered against Robyn’ lips “wider” I groaned, unsatisfied with the limited access she initially gave me. I used two fingers to stroke her clit when she finally spread her legs for me. He swallowed every whimper that left her mouth, still finding the sounds she made during sex to be the sexiest thing on this earth. She is so swollen and wet, her heat dripped down my finger. Her body curled and she bent her legs back to the point where her knees almost touched her chest when I plunged two fingers inside of her. I slid them back and forth, waiting until they were completely soaked with her moisture before pulling them from her centre with the biggest smirk on my face.

She is more than ready for me and I needed to be inside of her. Entering Robyn slowly, I let out the biggest sight of relief, I wanted to turn Robyn onto her stomach, but I wanted Robyn to be looking at me, it’s been a while and it’s nice to see my wife. Sliding inside of Robyn, her breathing stopped momentarily while the feeling of me inside of her shook through her body. I slid in and out of Robyn at an agonizingly slow pace. Robyn wrapped her arms around shoulders, it reminded me of the very first time we had sex which was the best sex I generally really has. I wanted to prolong the moment and savour the moment, kissing Robyn’ shoulder but Robyn didn’t waste no time as she bit my shoulder instead of exhaling out a moan “fuck” Robyn breathed out into my ear, her hips moving against mine at the same time creating friction. My pace quickened and each thrust became deeper than the last, my fingers gripping onto her waist a little deeper then before. I yanked Robyn’ arms from around my shoulders and stretched them out in front of me. Grabbing on to her wrist, I pinned her down on the mattress just above her head and slammed my hips into her harder. She cried out and her screams growing louder and louder as I kept pushing in deeper and deeper, rolling my hips in at an angle until I filled her.

Panting out as I leaned down to Robyn, our lips touched but neither moved to fully connect them together and form a kiss, we simply inhaled the others breath. Robyn wanted to throw her head back, she wanted to close her eyes and cry out as her body felt close to bursting into flames, but she couldn't bring herself to break the eye contact she held with me. I know she is close; she is so close. Staring into her hazel made my heart feel heavy in my chest, the love I hold for her, I want her forever. She inhaled deeply, her body clenching around me; unwilling to let him go. we both were in a trance, our hunger for one another. Her inner muscles gripped me tighter and my body reacted before my mind could comprehend the sensational feeling. The weight of my body pressed Robyn deeper into the mattress. She bucked her hips up to meet mine and I moaned out her name. When Robyn finally exhaled, my lips captured hers and I sucked the breath from her body. I moved in and out of her slowly, timing my strokes just right, I ensured that we experienced our orgasm at the same time. Our moans were louder than the thunder booming outside of the window as our bodies meshed and we came together. We remained connected, our gaze is so heavy.