#and where I live the summer heat can go past 100F

[softboiled-egg]

They’re a bit worried

[lovemesomesurveys]

How have you been feeling lately? Have you been doing ok? Ehhh, ya know how it is.

Are you currently in quarantine? I mean, places have started to open up again and so many people are out living life like nothing and I’m just like....what. Towards the end of last month was the first time I left the house in 3 months and I haven’t left since, almost a month later. I’m definitely still quarantining. We’re still very much in the thick of this thing, it hasn’t gone anywhere and won’t for a long time. Don’t let the fact that places are opening up again fool you.

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? I absolutely would if I ever went anywhere. And actually, masks are mandatory in California.

Does your state require people to wear masks in stores? ^^^^

Do you know anyone who’s had the coronavirus? A family friend had it a few months ago. She thankfully is fine.

What was the last sweet treat you ate? A couple spoonfuls of frosting lmao. That’s been my go-to treat lately.

Was it a nice day out today? It’s supposed to be 100F today... 

Is the weather nice where you live usually? Uh, most people would probably say that because most like warm, sunny weather. I’m not one of those people. 

What was the last thing you ordered online? A book.

Are you expecting a package right now? Aforementioned book.

Have you ever ordered anything from Wish? If so, what did you buy, and did you feel it was worth it? Nope. 

Are you a youtuber? If so, are you consistent with uploads? and how many subscribers do you have? Noooo. 

What is one thing you hate about summer? The heat!

Did you go outside today? It’s only 6:30AM, but no I won’t be going outside today.

What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one? I have a YouTube account so I can subscribe and leave comments if I wish, but I don’t make videos.

What was the name of the last store or restaurant that overcharged you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

Is your room more often messy or clean? It’s a little disorganized at the moment. :/

Who is someone you miss? Loved ones who have passed away.

What is something you miss? I want to go to the beach and to the movies again. 

Do you feel like your emotions are often haywire? Yes.

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? Yes.

Have you ever been “diagnosed” with a mental illness from an online friend? who is not a doctor? If yes, isn’t that frustrating? No, I haven’t. 

Do you have any friends that you can trust and tell everything to? Like I always say, you guys honestly know the most.

What was the name of your favorite roommate you’ve had? I’ve never had a roommate. 

Do you have a favorite book that you’ve read multiple times? I’ve never reread a book, actually. I’ve talked about this before, but I just can’t do that for some reason. I can rewatch movies and TV shows, but not reread a book. I guess with the first two it doesn’t require my attention. If it’s something I’ve seen, I don’t have to pay as close attention to it. I can kind of tune in and out or have it on in the background. With a book, that requires your attention. And if I’ve already read it, I know what happens, and I guess it doesn’t hold my attention the same way? Or it’s harder to hold my attention, I guess. But then TV shows and movies, I do like rewatching because I discover things I didn’t the first time and things make sense that didn’t before, ya know? I’m sure that would happen with books, too, so I don’t knowww. It’s hard to explain, man.

What’s one book or book series that you’ve read multiple times?

What was the name of the funniest kid you’ve ever babysat? I’ve only babysat my younger brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids. 

Do you enjoy babysitting? No.

Do you have any big regrets? Yep, plenty.

Are there things about your past that bother you? A lot of things.

What was the last thing you saw or read on social media that made you angry? There’s a lot to be angry about right now.

Do you often post about controversial topics on facebook? Nooo. I really never do. 

Do you think it’s a good idea to post about serious topics on social media? or do you think that it’s better to discuss serious topics in person? There’s a lot of benefits to doing that. Like, you’re able to reach a larger audience and spread information quicker. For some it’s easier to discuss things like that in that way instead of verbally or in person. There’s drawbacks, too. Misinformation is often easily spread. Things get misconstrued and interpreted wrong. Tone doesn’t come across the same. And some things shouldn’t be aired out for all to see and should be discussed in private. It really just depends.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

Have you ever failed a class and had to repeat it? I had to retake a math course once while at community college.

What class in school did you hate the most? M a t h.

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Yeah, when I was a kid. I loved playing school.

What’s one childhood dream that has stuck with you, and one that has not? Hmm. Well, I definitely no longer want to be a teacher.

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? Absolutely. Take me baaaack.

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? I really miss being a kid. This adult thing sucks.

At what age were you when you started to feel like you were mature enough to offer others advice? I wasn’t at all qualified to be giving advice when I was like 12, but there I was. I actually spent a lot of time on the AOL kid and teen message boards and there was a section to discuss things like mental health and struggles people were going through. I used to comment on those posts and chat with people giving out advice that I somehow had at that age. Or I guess thought I had. People came to me advice. My friends always did, too. I was the go-to friend for advice or to just lend an ear. 

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? My dad enjoys his beer, and every once in awhile something stronger, but that’s it. My mom will have a drink or two every once in a great while.

Do you enjoy bonfires? Yesss. 

Have you ever stepped on a sparkler? No.

What, do you know of, are you allergic to? Tangerines. Super random, I know.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulence? Yes.

What is your favorite version of the Bible to read, if applicable? NIV. 

Do you follow trends? or are you a trendsetter? I’m no trendsetter. I’m not much of a trend follower, either. I just like what I like and do what I want. 

Has anyone ever described you as a trendsetter? No.

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? List three people you’ve known whom this has happened to. I feel like I kind of have these past few years. :X I’m not a heartless, non-loving person, but I just feel like I’ve been hardened. I’m guarded. I’m hurt. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m so irritable and moody all the time. I’ve pushed everyone away. I’ve been distant and withdrawn and closed off. I feel I’ve been very selfish, too. I haven’t been there for others like I used to be and should be. I’m not social. So yeah, in those ways I do feel like I’ve turned cold.

What SAT subjects, if any, did you get a perfect score in? I never took the SATs. 

What were your best subjects in school? and what was your favorite subject in school? English.

Have you ever been abused by a parent or legal guardian? No.

Do you have a lot of wounds from your past? Yes.

Has anyone ever called you a jerk? I’m sure my former friends had a lot of choice words for me.

Are you a jerk? I don’t think I’m a jerk. But for the reasons I listed a few questions up I don’t feel I’ve been very nice. 

What color were your bedroom walls in high school? My walls have always been white.

Is there a girl or guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? Yes, Ty. :/

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? I miss them, but reconnecting now wouldn’t be right. I’m still not in the place to do so. I can’t give the attention and focus and energy to that right now.

Who has hurt you the most? Myself.

Have you been bullied? No. The only person who has been mean to me and put me down is myself. 

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? and have you auditioned for one? I have no talent. 

Do you know anyone who’s auditioned for American Idol? Nope.

Is there someone you think should audition that hasn’t yet? No.

What time of day do you usually feel your best? I haven’t felt my best in a very long time, but I like the time of day when I have my first cup of coffee and in the middle of the night when I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR. 

What’s one way in which you’ve changed within the last ten years? Oh, man. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way. 

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? It’s weird. In the moment, day by day, it feels super slow. Some days it literally feels like the time froze or is moving extra slowly. But then before I know it, another week has gone by. Another month. Another year. Like, we’re already almost done with June and it feels like it just started. The past few months have felt that way to me. But then at the same time 2020 has felt like 84 years???

Who do you know who has died of cancer? No one, thankfully.

Has there been cancer in your family? Yes.

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? Yeah. I’ve had to stay months in the hospital after surgical procedures.

Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? No.

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? Uh, no. I’m angry with you, so I’m gonna sue! lol.

Have you ever been a victim of racism? I’ve never felt that, no. 

Have you ever deleted a friend on facebook for making racist comments? No, I haven’t had anyone on my Facebook make such comments.

What was the last thing you ate? Ramen. Surprise, surprise. 

What was the theme of your senior prom? I actually don’t remember.

Did you go to prom? I did.

Have ever been engaged or married? Nope.

Are you an aunt or uncle? No.

Do you live to glorify God and to do His will? Yes. 

Are you happy with the way you are living your life day-to-day right now? Absolutely not.

Do you feel like your life was better or worse six years ago? Wow, 2014. It was so different. I was in college and I wasn’t dealing with some of the health stuff I’m dealing with now. I’ve always struggled with depression, but I wasn’t in the low place then that I’ve been in the last few years. I actually had friends back then, too. I didn’t let myself go and neglect myself at that time. 

Have you ever made a huge, catastrophic mistake? It sure feels that way to me.

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? My basic needs, such as food, water, shelter, and clothing, are met. I’m very fortunate in that way. 

Do you hate social injustice? >> Nah, I love it. It’s just great. It’s the best thing ever– <<< Right?? What a dumb question.

Are you happy with the current social class you are in? Like I said, I have food and clothing and a roof over my head. I have the necessities. I also am able to have a lot of things that I don’t necessarily need, but just want and enjoy. That’s not to say that my family and I don’t have financial stressors, but we’re doing fine. 

Life isn’t fair. True or false? It’s not always what we think of as fair. It’s also subjective. What’s fair or unfair to one, isn’t to another. 

Do you hate that life is so unfair? There are definitely a lot of things that I don’t feel are fair and yeah, it sucks.

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. I don’t really know anyone like that, personally.

Who do you go to when you’re upset? No one, usually.

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? Five years ago I didn’t pray at all.

Do you pray a lot? No. :/ That’s something I really want to work on.

Do you frequently have back pain? Yes, I have chronic pain.

What’s the worst side effect you’ve experienced for a medication? and what’s the worst withdrawal effect you’ve experienced from a medicine? I haven’t liked the way the anti-depressants I’ve tried made me feel. I also didn’t feel they were working, so it wasn’t worth it to me to continue taking them. Perhaps I just didn’t find the right one for me, but I’ve been afraid about trying more. I also worry about getting on and then eventually getting off them. I’ve heard about withdraw side effects like brain zaps and that doesn’t sound pleasant. I was fortunate that I hadn’t experienced that from the ones I was on. On another note, I have been on vicodin for several years for pain management and that would definitely cause ugly withdrawal symptoms. 

Have you ever used an epi pen? No.

What’s a name that you like but probably wouldn’t use for one of your kids? I don’t even plan on having kids, so.

What’s you name, and do you like it? Stephanie. Yeah, it suits me fine. 

Would you prefer to give your kids common names or unique names?

Do you feel like anybody values you in the way that you deserve? I don’t value myself, so I don’t feel I deserve to be valued.

Who have you felt the most valued by? I know my family does.

Have you ever been treated like you were inferior? Yes.

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? If there was one, I didn’t know. High school for me wasn’t at all like how it’s portrayed in movies. There wasn’t the snobby popular girl or clique that walked around campus and owned the school. There were popular kids, sure, but it wasn’t like that. And there also wasn’t the big bully who went around stuffing kids in trash cans or lockers or knocking their books down or something. I can’t say no one was bullied, but again it wasn’t like how it’s shown in movies and TV shows.

Do you ever sleep outside? No.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? I’m the middle kid.

How many kids do you want to have? Zero.

Do you want to get married? No.

Best date you’ve been on? Coffee shop and bookstore dates with Ty.

Dream date? Beach/boardwalk and Disneyland.

Ever kissed someone on New Year’s? Nope.

Have you ever had an experience so good you felt like you were flying? When I had too much of an edible.

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? Yes.

What brings you the most joy? My doggo.

What is your passion; what is it that would bring you the most joy and fulfillment in life? I don’t know. 

Have you ever laid your dreams aside because someone else wanted you to? No.

Who supports you in everything you do? My family.

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? No one. The only thing that has stopped me and got in my way is me. And my health. 

Do you believe in following your heart, in going after your dreams? Yes. If you have dreams and a passion, you absolutely should go after them. 

Do you wish other people would want you to be happy? Other people do want me to be happy. It’s my brain that doesn’t.

Do you wish you had someone who loved and supported you? I do.

[angryschnauzer]

I grew up in So Cal heat waves and spent three of the hottest years of my LIFE in Phoenix, AZ (summer days of 123-128 F, nights never got below 100F. In C, that’s a high of 50-53, low of 37). We’re in one here in So Cal again right now and my house has no AC, so I have some empathy. If I can offer some advice (most of which you probably already know, but you know)….

Make your own cold packs. 1 part isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol to 3 parts water in a sealed baggie (or soaked into a washcloth in a bag) and frozen. They stay more pliable when frozen than straight water. These can be applied on the back of the neck, under the arms, backs of knees, soles of feet, as needed to cool someone down. Just don’t place ice packs direct on bare skin.

If you can’t do that, sealed drinks (like sodas or water bottles) straight from the fridge will do in a pinch. (had an EMT do this to me at a concert when I dropped from heat exhaustion.)

Soak feet/hands in ice water briefly. They have lots of blood vessels so it will help carry that cooled blood to the rest of the body. (I wouldn’t recommend doing it for long, but a few minutes will give some relief. I can tolerate about 10-15 minutes.)

If the people sleeping under them can tolerate it, strip down as far as you can and sleep under a sheet only. Use a spray bottle to dampen the top sheet before you climb in. It will evaporate and keep you cooler. If you have the soft reusable ice packs, tuck one in your pillow case (and/or freeze your pillowcase before bed). They can also go along your tummy and near your feet to make the bed feel cooler.

Get hair off the nape of the neck if you can, and light colored, loose clothes, preferably cotton.

If you can, turn off as many lights, electronics and appliances as you can during the hottest part of the day. I know with Pup, that might be hard, but these all generate heat so they will contribute to the rising temp in the house.

We have places called “heat relief” or “cooling” centers, which are public buildings with AC that open to the public when the heat becomes bad, with room given as priority to the elderly, disabled, small children, etc. so they can cool off. I don’t see that they have these in the UK, but your post about going to lunch etc. reminded me of that. We often escaped to the second-run movie theater near my house, because it was a $1/ea for 2 hours of a dark room with strong AC. Might also be a good time to get ppl together and petition to start heat relief centers there…

I don’t know if you park outside, but if you do, tossing a hot holder or a towel over your seat belt buckles when you park will prevent a lot of those YEOUCH moments when you go back to the car.

BBQ or batch cook so you don’t have to heat up the kitchen as much/often. Also… sandwiches and salads don’t require any heat to prep. :)

Pieces of fruit frozen in the freezer make a tasty treat that will help you keep cool.

LOTS of fluids, because it’s super easy to dehydrate before you realize it. High water content foods help too - like cucumbers and melons.

Once you get past this heat wave, you may want to look into getting thermal insulated curtains if you don’t already have them. Added benefit of darkening the room if you have issues sleeping at night. Not sure what brands you might see, but the big one I find here is called Eclipse. (I have them in my bedroom and living room and they help a LOT)

Most of all, stay safe! Heat exhaustion/heat stroke is a killer.

Submitted by @geminiloveca

Thank you love. A lot of this we already do or have, and other things we simply don’t have so its not an option. This is all really appreciated, and i’m posting so others can get any hints. I think the biggest problem now is we all now know HOW to get cool, we just can’t. 

Its gotten to the point now that i’ve been running on 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night for a month because either i’m too hot or i get woken up by Superpup who is too hot.. When i’m out driving my car i’m not concentrating. So i only go out in the middle of the day when the roads are quiet, not in rush hour. We attempted to go to the supermarket today for our 3 hours of coolness but it is a parkade type parking lot were you drive up a big ramp and you park above the store (still under cover), but there had been a car crash on the ramp where a retired person had passed out behind the wheel. The paramedics and fire fighters suspect it was from dehydration as old people are notorious for not drinking enough in this weather. So we’re home and having a picnic in the shade of the garden. I’ve got the crockpot on in the kitchen with some pulled pork in (enough for 2 or 3 meals) so that means i only have to microwave it when its dinner time for the next few nights. The kiddie paddling pool will be filled this afternoon, but we are also very close to having a hosepipe ban so i also want to conserve water. I’ve currently got superpup running around with a little spray bottle with just water in letting him spray whatever he wants (mainly himself). 

The good news is that in a little over a weeks time we’re going to my Inlaws in Wales for a week - its on the West Coast side of the UK (heading towards ireland), and its cooler there by 5-10C. I’m very much looking forward to daytrips into the Black Mountains where we can just picnic in the woods surrounded by streams and sheep!

[annoyingthemesong]

resonances

The smell in the air reminds me of September which reminds me of school and going back to it after a long summer of freedom. The smell is always the same. I'm automatically apprehensive for the coming year, even though there is no school to attend, and I haven’t sat in a classroom for almost ten years. I realise that I still delineate the years by end of summer/beginning of school year instead of the first of January. Same with temperatures, I switch from Fahrenheit to Celcius this time of year, when it gets colder. Freezing registers as zero degrees C to me, and really hot registers at 100F. Now it’s getting cooler I’ve switched my thermostats to back to C, so I can understand the coldness better.

I’m walking up the mountain and it’s brisk in the morning. Seasons are giving way to the new cycle and colors are familiar. People’s clothing reflect the seasons change: colourful summer garb now more muted and along the path to the mountain they crowd like autumn leaves moving upstream. They will eventually fade to monochrome. A mile up - there’s a spot on an overlook I like to sit this time of year because it gives you a nice view of the forest at the foot of the mountain. I don’t stay for too long because my socks are wet. Some food with me, a poached egg baked into the interior of a croissant, the yolk still gooey. I don’t know how they do this, neat magic trick.

Indian summer. Weeks of hot weather, hotter than it was in the summer. Sweating at the night times. “Spell of warm weather after the first frost”. I’m not sure exactly where the term came from, but another definition reads as "a period of ease or tranquility or of renewed productivity towards the end of a persons life or of an epoch”.

—

I am sometimes struck by very clear memories and visions which appear overlaid onto familiar environments. Probably because much of where I go, places I eat, walk; things at home, cupboards I open, the bed I sleep in - are the same. The rooms we had once occupied, the hallway she would saunter through after work, the red handled pear knife she exclusively used, the one that belonged to her grandmother. This stuff is all mine now. And I’ve been trying to give these things new context, a new reason. But memories persist and cling to these perspectives, fighting against intrusions or efforts to displace them. I shake them off, they come back. I shake them off, they come back.  

I found a secret compartment in the trunk near my window. She had carved it and placed some photos of us, and covered it up with wood paneling. Photos of our journeys, photos I’ve never seen before - good photos, shot on film, with care and developed by her in a lab by hand. How can I throw these out? But then what? She doesn’t want them either. Can I let go of this? I seal the compartment back up and pretend to ignore it.

The word ‘mourning’ I’ve heard used by a couple therapists now. And the words grief, guilt, and laying something to rest, letting go. It seems really diminishing to compare the loss of a relationship to a death- we’re both alive after all.

There’s another glaring aspect. It has been hard to leave my apartment and really start fresh because part of me really loves it here. My neighbours, neighbourhood, the courtyard, the light..  The other part of me knows it’s been hard to let go of things. Familiar, useful, comforting things which tie me to a place and time. I try to imagine what it is like on her end. I have to be honest, I have no concept and I am envious of this. My apartment on the other hand still contains a scene-of-a-crime vibe. Regretful exchanges and arguments and real life shattering moments. Her image of where I live and the places I go now is probably more accurate. She knew it all very well.

I brought more sweaters of hers I found to the consignment shop. They might have been the source of the moths I saw earlier this year.  I told the woman at the counter this, so I wouldn’t feel bad about handing over potentially infested clothing to people who might buy them later. She assured me she washed everything very hot.

—

I didn’t want to be the one to arrange anything so I waited to see if she would write, and then she did saying she would like to take a walk. Still took me a while to build up the courage. Triggers, trying to be aware of them. Do not under any circumstances ask her about her personal life or proffer details of my own. Be kind. Don’t give too much, don’t ask for anything in return. Be present, don’t go into the past. Don’t get embroiled in granular details. Avoid knots.

We walked in a park we used to walk in together. At the edge of town, you have to take quite a bike ride to get there but once you’re there it’s really expansive and private. There wasn’t anything heavy. We were both tepid. Updating each other on positive things. It was hot - 32, 32 degrees all of a sudden, hotter than it was all summer. She felt ill from the heat and we lied in the park. She held my hand. This wasn’t an indication of anything except wanting some peace. It turned me on but I didn’t say it.

She came to the apartment. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for her to be here, but I asked if she wanted to see it. And in retrospect this was a step too far. I had polished things I ordinarily neglect just in case, like the chrome leg of my desk chair. I had no real need to impress her, but I still wanted her to see that it’s ok here. The roof isn’t falling and I have been looking after things that we once shared. A hanging plant has been there for years, grown from a clone and it’s massive now-wrapped around the legs of my desk and crawling along the floor. I don’t want to trim it.

She told me about her group sex. This was shattering to me and I tried to keep my cool; we had had such an open and sexually liberated relationship anyway, why is this bothering me? It bothers me so much. It shames and humiliates and continues to grind deep in my sexually frustrated core. 

I’ve never been able to be as free since we stopped seeing each other. I’m envious. I’m upset. I’m childish. I’m short tempered. I’m frustrated. 

She looked at the angle of a chair in the living room and quickly adjusted it to her liking; she used to do this.  

—