#and you can’t tell me that neil had no idea what s2 would look like if it got greenlit at while making cuts for s1 still

[grntaire]

i still cannot believe we had the crowley bringing aziraphale chocolates/gabriel giving him a promotion/crowley tricking gabriel so aziraphale can stay on earth scene taken from us. the foreshadowing of it all. the things we could have been……..

[psychdelia]

I don't know if you would have already done it but how would you think it would go down when Billy explaining why he did what he did at the Byers House. And like how would Steve's reaction be? I don't really know if he'd be understanding or kinda mad because of the reason? And he'd be mad at him or other reasons?

hello! sorry i’m just seeing and responding to this now. but yes of course i can expand on this!!

i personally don’t think steve would (or should) forgive him right away and blow it off like it was nothing. like a small inconvenience. like.. he almost killed the guy, probably gave him a concussion lol. i have quite a few hcs on their talk after the fight, whether it be set during s2, s3 pre, or post starcourt. but your question seems more geared towards s2/pre s3 so i’ll go with that. i like to think that billy does approach him after a little while, maybe weeks-months after the fight when his anger has finally simmered down and he actually has the balls to apologize without like getting mad again and/or crying, especially because that night was so bad for him too. they can agree that it was very suspicious for steve to have his sister there and lie about it, especially considering the age difference and billy not having any idea of what the fuck they were all doing. but i think he would try to apologize without really explaining himself. just tells steve what he did was fucked up and he went too far but steve’s not having it. can’t even imagine what triggers someone to go that far. so he gets mad. asks questions as to why it even had to happen like that even though he did throw the first punch to defend lucas (who he also demands gets an explanation and apology.) i think this would get billy pretty worked up tbh. he hasn’t ever had to explain neil or his home situation and yet here he is, getting it pulled out of him by someone he really does owe it to. he’d probably stay silent for a couple minutes, raising his shoulders up to his ears and staring at the ground as steve gets more and more frustrated and impatient, asking questions only to receive silence. billy probably breaks after a little while, but stays very broad. mentions his old man was already angry and if he hadn’t gotten max home that night it would’ve been worse. steve still doesn’t fully understand. asks why one or both of them getting grounded is the end of the world. billy probably snaps at this point, telling harrington he doesn’t know shit, who in return is like uh yeah duh!! that’s why i’m asking u these questions dumbass!! and billy finally breaks and without thinking yells something along the lines of he would’ve fucking killed me and steve’s mouth snaps shut. finally understanding. takes a minute to process and breathe before calmly telling billy that it wasn’t an excuse to almost kill him. and billy nods, tense muscles and clenched jaw going lax as he nods. says he knows and that he’s actually sorry. that it won’t happen again and he’ll leave them alone from now on as long as max sticks to their curfew and pickup times. so they’re just. fine. not on good terms. not on bad. tolerant of each other and coexisting. then maybe billy starts showing up to school and then steve’s house with scrapes and bruises and tears and i didn’t know where else to go and maybe steve misses being the center of someone’s attention. misses having friends his own age. can’t just shut the door in the guys face when he’s crying and hurt on his doorstep, sometimes barely standing. so he lets him in. starts actually looking at him at school again instead of avoiding him at all costs. it takes them a looong time to get past everything and their friendship/relationship is a very slow build that just gets better over time.

[harringrovehouse]

S2 AU where everything is EXACTLY the same except Billy and Max don’t roll into town with their parents but rather as a result of a letter, one hand delivered to Hopper by a stuffy man in a suit and tie.

The letter opens with ‘Dear Sarge’ and Hopper knows it’s one of his men. One of the men he commanded in Nam. He sits stiffly in his office and reads the letter. It’s from Taz, Neil Hargrove, one of the well most unstable men that Hopper had every comanded, his nickname had been ‘Taz the Tazmanian devil’ because of his quick uncontrollable outbursts. Taz writes that he’s dying, cancer, and that he’s got a kids, a boy who’s mother fucked off year ago and left them alone and a girl, the result of a second marriage, he wasn’t even sure she was his but he cared for her even after her mother died last year in a car crash. Taz asks Hopper to take his kids in, take them in and keep them alive until their 18 and Hopper can do whatever he wants with them.

‘They got no one but me Sarge. And I’m gonna be dead by November.’

Hopper sighs as he looks down at the letter, gut turning as he thinks about El. Thinks about how he’s just gotten her intergrated back into society, and bu society he’s told the kids she’s okay and she’s allowed to be at Joyce’s house every once in a while without him. Would this be too much for his girl? They still have power outbursts. Would it be okay to bring two stranger into this mix. Hopper takes a long lunch to decided. He shows Joyce the letter and waits for her opinion.

“You gotta take them in Jim!” She’s tearing up as she rereads the letter. “You can’t let them go into the system.” Hopper argues with her, he doesn’t have the space for two more kids. He certainly isn’t sure he has the patience! Joyce glares at him and then reads him the riot act.

So he does the only thing he can. He calls the number at the bottom of the letter, talks to Taz and agrees to take in his kids. He tells El they’re going to have guests and that she has to keep her powers to a minimum, even as they move from the cabin into a house on Old Cherry.

William and Maxine ride into Hawkins three days later, a UHaul driven by the same, now rumpled and angry, lawyer who delivered the letter. Hopper waves awkwardly from the stoop as El hovers at his side, eyes wide as she watched Maxine climb out of the back seat of the blue Camaro William is driving. El makes a weird noise and points at the skateboard Maxine is death gripping. Behind her William climbs out of the drivers seat, a hard angry look on his face as he slams the door. Hopper meets them half way up, he awkwardly sticks his hand out for them to shake. William takes it quickly, muttering out a quick ‘hello sir’ before swatting at his sister’s shoulder to get her to do the same. Maxine takes Hopper’s hand weakly and lets out a barely audible ‘hello sir’ before dropping her hand to her side and glaring at the sidewalk .

The next few days are a vivid rush. Maxine or Max as she prefers moves into the room next to El’s, gets to know her friends and somehow become her enemy all in a 48 hour period. Something to do with the boys having no idea what to do with this new female attention. It’s not made easier with the fact that El is not able to go to school yet. William, for his part, keeps his nose clean. He quickly wins over the multitude of girls at Hawkins High, and more than once had to be reminded that bringing anyone into their home isn’t allowed! William and Max fight like cats and dogs, they blame each other for the move and no matter how many times Hopper raises his voice over their bickering to remind them that it’s no one’s fault but thr US Government and their war, it never seems to work. It really only causes William to flinch each time Hopper do it, which starts to concerns him. At one point, in the dead center of Will Byer’s newest Upsidedown run in, Hopper has three very angry, very hostile with each other, teens on his hands and it all comes to a head one night when he has to rush off to Joyce’s and leaves William in charge.

“Just keep an eye on your sisters! Please.” Is the last thing he says before he’s racing out of the house to go help Joyce.

Hopper would find out later than El would sneak out to find Mike, and then Max to go with Lucas, who showed up to take her to a junk yard and then finally William would end up chasing both of them down in the middle of the night only to throw down with Steve Harrington in Joyce’s living room before El threw the dead body of a Demodog threw a window and stopped their fight.

By the time the sun rose above the clouds the next morning, Hopper would be pacing in his living room, covered in blood and Upsidedown goo having patched El back up after she closed the gate, and tapes but William’s lip and checked Max over for any type of damage she might have picked up between entering the Upsidedown hole and running away from a herd of Demodogs.

“Just-just promise me the three of you will at least talk to each other if,” oh god he hopes this never happens again. “If anything like this EVER happens again. Please.” He’s shaking slightly but waits as the three of them slowly turn to look at each other. First El to Max, then Max to William and then finally the three of them make eye contact with the others and begin to nod. “Thank god. That’s all your old dad needs.” They all freeze and Hopper covers his face with his hands. Suddenly warm and pink skin hidden behind the dirt and grim. “Go to bed. Uh all of you. It’s been a long night.”

It’s weird for the next few weeks. Especially when Hopper catches William going down on Steve Harrington, which, oh man is that a conversation for the book. Both boys leave the house mortified but Hopper’s confident that they’ve learned their lesson. They all still dance around each other but at some point El and Max move their beds into the bigger of the two rooms and sit huddles together most nights giggling about whatever teen magazine Joyce had given them that week. Everything starts to feel normal, and by the summer of 1985 Hopper’s never felt more at home.

[backofthebookshelf]

Book Recs for Magnus Archives Fans

I was just rambling in tags the other day about how my avatarsona was "the Archivist, but a public librarian: Oh, you like dirt?? Let me tell you all the dirt stories I have!!!!" so, uh, here I am I guess.

I'm gonna spare you all the M.R. James and Algernon Blackwood and House of Leaves and Blindsight; you know all that already. These are my horror backlist recs.

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette Y'all. Y'ALL. Kyle Murchison Booth was absolutely the Archivist before Gertrude. He was poached from the Parrington by the Usher Foundation and the Eye glommed onto him at once, because the Eye loves disaster queers who can't people right (and also Gertrude). This I believe to be true, and so will you.

Kyle Murchison Booth is an archivist at the Parrington Museum, which is somewhere in New England, sometime in the early twentieth century. He also has a lifelong entanglement with the supernatural which is almost entirely not his fault, and he would very much like it to stop, but he also feels responsible and he can't just let evil mirrors and cursed necklaces and possessed dressing gowns randomly eat people who have no idea what's happening. Even if it means he's going to suffer for it.

(This collection doesn't contain all of the Booth stories, so here I am going to link to "White Charles", which happens to be my very favorite Booth story.)

For you if your favorite part is: honestly everything about MAG, from the modern sensibilities about early twentieth-century-horror, truly eerie ghost stories, to suffering eldritch librarians (thanks to whoever tagged my most recent fic with that you're so valid), monsterfucking and soft gay pining. No happy endings here, sorry.

Bedfellow by Jeremy C. Shipp You may or may not have heard that Macmillan-Tor is launching a horror imprint, and I don't know how long it's been since a major publishing house has had a horror imprint, but I am EXCITE. This book is part of the trend that's the reason why: Tor.com has been publishing these kickass novellas for a couple years now, and their horror books are top notch.

One night a stranger knocks on a family's living room window and asks to be invited in. They ask him to stay the night. He's an old friend, after all, he needs a place to stay. You can't kick out your twin brother when he's just gotten divorced, no matter how much Gatorade he spills on your two-year-old hardwood floors.

For you if your favorite part is: the Stranger, this is all Stranger, it's terrifying and good.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll A graphic novel, some of these were originally posted as webcomics (have you seen His Face All Red, and if not, why not???) and the only disadvantage to having them in book form is they can't blink at you. Probably. Very folktale-ish, with all the death and violence that implies, and also the slightly eerie feeling that you know this story already, and then it turns around and slaps you.

For you if your favorite part is: looking over your shoulder when the foley gets good; Once Upon a Time in Space (I know that's not technically part of the Magnus Archives but shush)

Universal Harvester by John Darnielle I am not usually a fan of artists who jump media. Just because you can write songs doesn't mean you can write novels. Apparently writing good songs doesn't mean you can't write good novels, though, because John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats (pretty sure that's his full name at this point) wrote Universal Harvester and I love him for it.

Jeremy works at a video rental place in Nevada, Iowa (it's pronounced Nah-vey-da, and yes it’s real, I've been there, and yes, it's probably haunted). It's the 1990s, and someone's been returning their VHS tapes with something on them that isn't just the movie. Footage that includes a barn that he recognizes, just outside of town.

Fair warning: this is not the kind of mystery that gets tied up in a nice bow at the end.

For you if your favorite part is: Jon losing it with paranoia in S2, The People's Church of the Divine Host, the Lonely

The Good House by Tananarive Due If this author's name is unfamiliar to you, RUN, do not walk, to your nearest internet bookseller and purchase every single one of her books immediately, you will not regret it. She also just came out with a documentary on black horror, Horror Noire, on the Shudder streaming service. They've got a free month if you aren't a horror movie person, it'd be worth your while. This book summary sounds like it's full of tropes. It is, but Due has the cred to write them well.

Angela Toussaint hopes to salvage her suffering marriage and her troubled relationship with her teenage son with a trip to her grandmother's house, a home so beloved the locals in small-town Washington state call it "The Good House," but tragedy strikes instead. Two years later she returns and finds that the tragedy isn't over, and it's not going to stop on its own.

For you if your favorite part is: the very practical statement-givers who know what's happening to them and Will Not Put Up With This Shit, the Desolation, the Hill Top Road statements

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins Is this horror disguised as fantasy? Found family disguised as horror? Grown-up Neil Gaiman? Less grimdark George R.R. Martin? Honestly I have no fucking idea, but it's amazing. Fair warning, unlike Magnus Archives, this deserves all kinds of trigger warnings, including but not necessarily limited to: sexual assault, torture, mental manipulation, dysfunctional families, incest(?)

Father is missing, and his twelve children (though extremely talented in their own ways, and not strictly speaking children any more) are at a loss without him. But also, without him, things are starting to seem different. He might be God? They might not be human? (They were probably human once.) He might not be God but maybe one of them might be next? If any of them survive.

For you if your favorite part is: slowly turning into a monster, the relationships between entities and avatars, monsters hot (not kidding about the trigger warnings)

The Loney by Andrew Michael Hurley I have to keep reminding myself that Magnus Archives isn't really folk horror, there are two separate (if related) strains of British horror here and folk horror is not the one we're on, but at the same time I really want a good creepy rural pagan cult to show up in the series, you know? Anyway.

When he was a child, our narrator used to go with his family on an Easter pilgrimage to shrine on a bleak stretch of Lancaster coastline locals called The Loney. His Catholic mother was searching for a cure for his older brother, and she was convinced if they kept going long enough she would be granted her wish. The locals, however, are not huge fans of her annual visits, and even less so when the boys become involved with the goings-on of a pair of glamorous tourists.

For you if your favorite part is: the Lukases, I didn't realize until I was writing this up that I'm picturing Moreland House in the exact place described by this book

Eutopia by David Nickle One thing I love about the historical statements in Magnus Archives is just how truly historical they are. There's almost nothing in "The Piper" that isn't historically accurate - yes, Wilfrid Owen spent several days in a trench underneath the shredded bodies of his fellow soldiers. Like. You can't make up horror worse than that. But then you add monsters and it gets good. And I'm a sucker for early-twentieth-century history, it's such a bonkers time.

It's 1911 and the new Eugenics Record Office is sending agents out to catalog the disabled, infirm, and otherwise undesirable members of society so they can figure out what to do about them. In the utopian town of Eliada, Idaho, Dr. Andrew Waggoner runs from the racism of American society and straight into the influence of Mister Juke, the most troubling patient in his new practice. (Trigger warnings for, obviously, a whole lot of ableism. Treated like the monstrousness it is, but there's a lot of it.)

For you if your favorite part is: learning history through horror, the Flesh

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay I hate male writers writing about teenage girls, so you are going to have to trust me when I say that I had to check, several times while reading this book, to make sure that Paul Tremblay is actually a dude. He's very good. This book was kind of his breakout, so if you follow horror you've read it already, but if you don't necessarily then please do not miss it. His newer ones, Disappearance at Devil's Rock (Stranger, Spiral) and The Cabin at the End of the World (Slaughter, Extinction), are also good but not as good as this, I think.

Fourteen-year-old Marjorie is having a rough time - outbursts, hallucinations, paranoia. Treatment is difficult (and expensive) and her family ambivalent; they turn to a local Catholic priest, who recommends an exorcism and, to help manage those medical bills, a production company who's interested in filming a reality TV show about the process. Fifteen years later, Marjorie's sister deconstructs the now-famous show and wrestles with her own memories of childhood. Trigger warnings for ableism on the part of many of the characters, but not the narrative.

For you if your favorite part is: the Spiral, metafictional analysis of horror tropes

[okaybutlikeimagine]

so i wanna write more headcanons on here but to do that i feel like i need to actually explain my main headcanon about Stranger Things/Billy in general??? and i’m trying to write a fic (and i S W E A R i’m gonna finish it at some point/better finish it this summer or it’s never getting done i just am a Mess TM so bear with me here bc i have 3 WIPs right now) but I’m gonna give a run down of the main points bc otherwise I end up just saying “Billy got adopted by Hop” and I feel like that’s a major step so maybe I need to explain my thought process there. so my fic plan is gonna be going through Stranger Things S2 focusing on Billy (I know, how Original, right?? I’m rolling my eyes at myself but I’m excited to think about the thought process of our Crazy boy) but i’ll just go through the major stuff (mainly with him and Hopper)

((this is so damn long good god i’m so sorry))

so Billy is the local Menace and Hopper briefly hears about him from Officer Callahan, knows a new family just moved in from Cali, but the first time he sees him is when he pulls the boy over (with a bit of difficulty because how the hell is this boy going so fast??) and he’s pissed. Bc kids still run around this town like it’s nothing and how is he ever going to be comfortable letting El run around this town with this maniac here? so he intimidates the boy and enjoys it until he sees a bruise on his cheekbone and legitimate fear in his eyes and it gives him pause. bc Billy just got back from a beyond rough night with Neil who showed even less mercy than normal and told him to find another place to sleep tonight.

Hop catches on that something’s wrong. he doesn’t feel good about kicking a boy this broken into the drunk tank (even though the only reason Billy stopped for Hop was bc he felt sitting in the drunk tank might be better than sitting in his car through the cold night). Hop sees a bit of himself in the boy, back when he was young and stupid and fighting back an angry, drunken father. So he asks Billy who he can call to get him home safely, bc no fucking way is he letting him drive his car anywhere when he’s drunk. and when Billy comes up short, Hop curses and makes a split decision to bring him home. bc it’s way too late and the boy has school tomorrow and he sees Billy in obvious pain. and it’s not like Hopper is totally unaware. word gets around fast in a small town filled with gossipy elders. he already knows enough about Neil to know that he has some anger issues and he knows exactly what anger issues mean for a kid like this. so he thinks he’s going to regret it, but he convinces Billy to come over and crash on their couch. (and you best he’s immediately thinking of getting a CT scan tomorrow bc how many kids is he planning on adopting?? this man favors solitude over just about anything and now he’s bringing ANOTHER abused child into his home?? and he’s thinking about how hard he’ll have to threaten Billy to not say anything about El)

Billy puts up a fight, but gives in bc fuck it’s been a long night and he thinks being under a drafty cabin roof might be better than sleeping in his car, maybe. he meets El, who’s super strange (and billy isn’t well versed in the actions of 13 yr old girls but El doesn’t seem super normal to him). Hopper tries to keep their interactions as short as possible. and in the morning, when Hopper drives Billy to his house, he refuses to let the boy go in there alone. He walks Billy up to the door, explains away Billy’s absence, and sizes Neil up in his own living room as Billy gets ready for school so Hop can drop him off. Billy finds the care stifling and alien and so unnecessary, but something about Neil shaking in his shoes makes Billy cackle inside.

and back in Cali, Billy used to avoid cops like the plague, but now in Hawkins he goes speeding through the streets on nights that Neil tells him to leave just so he can get picked up and taken to Hopper’s cabin. sometimes on nights where Neil doesn’t, and he feels psychotic doing it. Billy gets to know El a lot better, and he wonders why Hopper had to threaten him so aggressively about not telling a single soul about this girl that he claims to be his daughter. She’s caring to Billy in a really weird way, giving him glasses of water and extra blankets after Hopper has gone to bed and Billy is cowering on the couch trying to go to sleep. One night Billy wakes to her screaming and crying and sees Hopper rush into her room and hears him lull her back to sleep. He asks her about it in the morning while Hop is showering and she mumbles something into her Eggos about Papa and pain and bad men. he asks her to speak up a bit, trying not to take his growing anger out on her, and she explains that Papa is a bad man who hurt her too much. Billy thinks he understands. He definitely doesn’t.

So he follows Hopper outside as they head out and swings at him. immediately swings at him bc all he can see is red bc here he thought a grown man could be something other than an absolute trash bag but here’s this man proving Billy a fool bc he hurts that poor sweet girl. he misses, and Hopper gets furious, immediately yelling, asking the boy what he’s doing. the two argue loudly, and Hopper tells Billy that he put them all in danger just for bringing him here, so Billy gets pissed as fuck and doesn’t come back.

and this entire time Billy’s trying to lay low at school about being gay. it’s nowhere near as lenient as Cali was and he can’t exactly show off his boner for Steve “the King” Harrington. so when Billy gets forced on an expedition to find his precious step-sister, he figures following a crazy as fuck noise seems like the best idea, esp after being told to go to the house of basically every child in Hawkins. hey, if he’s lucky, maybe it’ll be a hungry bear or something. but instead he finds a gross junkyard and what looks like his kid sister on top of a bus with that Sinclair kid, so he drives up fast, seeing red. it’s not until he’s out of the car that he sees King Steve himself barrelling towards Billy and dragging him behind the bus and handing him a piece of sheet metal and telling him to make do.

naturally Billy flips his shit, confused as hell and asking what that loud noise is, but Steve prompts him, telling him he knows he has something to be mad about bc he’s not exactly meditating on the basketball court so maybe he can channel the source of that anger to “maybe, I dunno, help us?” 

So they fight. and when the demodogs get called off, Billy demands a fucking explanation, getting pissed as all hell at Steve for letting his sister and her punk friends be here when it’s obviously infected with some crazy as fuck monsters?? “and what the shit is a demodog??” but they force a dazed Billy into the car and ask him to drive them in the direction of the noise, to which Billy says they’re nuts but it’s 4 against 1 and his mind is racing and he’s just angrily compliant at this point, speeding towards the sounds that they try to hear through the open windows. so billy gets dragged through it all, and learns about it all, and when they get to Will’s house he thinks he’s going to be sick and it’s Steve who helps him through it, awkwardly rubbing his back as he dry heaves in the bathroom bc “fuck this, seriously fuck this, you’re all nuts!”

Hopper briefly asks if he’s all right when Billy goes back into the living room obviously shaken. He accepts El’s hug when she comes in dressed up like a crazy punk and everyone is confused as hell as to how they know each other, esp Steve, who has never seen this girl in his life. Billy compliments her look, tells her she’s “looking rad”.

“Bitchin’.”

“Oh, excuse me. Bitchin’.”

He tells Hop and El to be safe, and he feels stupid about it but it earns him another hug from El and a nod and a small smile from Hop and he doesn’t like that it makes him feel so warm.

he tags along with Steve when they go into the upside down, making sure the kids are safe and bringing up the rear as Steve trudges ahead of them. He’s confused as fuck when Dustin talks to one of those things like it has a fucking heart. thinks maybe he can consider it some kind of metaphor of how even monsters can be friends sometimes.

when it’s all over, he’s damn glad and damn happy and feels damn lucky to be alive. he feels a weird gratefulness at having his sister alive and starts thinking of her as his sister. he hugs her and smacks her shoulder lightly and tells her to never go running off to fight monsters again if she knows what’s good for her, “especially not with prissy little Princess Harrington”. She just gives him an exasperated laugh and a roll of her eyes and he winks at a blushing and pouting Steve.

the abuse doesn’t stop. he’s out driving drunkenly again when Hop pulls him over. Hopper talks to him, explains himself a bit, with light irritation. Billy feels indignant, says he’ll just sleep in his damn car for the night, thanks, but Hop doesn’t allow it. He asks Billy to at least come to the cabin to see El, bc she keeps asking after him and his well being. and when things get worse, and Billy hashes out his shit with Hopper pretty hot headedly, he goes over to the cabin more and more, a brief and small and very young part of his mind wondering if Hopper would lull him to sleep too when he wakes up screaming from nightmares.

He gets closer to Max now that he almost lost her. he drives her to the arcade or Lucas’ place a lot more bc he sees that Sinclair is a good (enough) kid and he kind of wants to protect the little punk from his racist asshole of a father. now that he knows the boy isn’t making her cry anymore he feels a hell of a lot better about it. but his relationship with Neil is only getting worse and he doesn’t know it but when the Snow Ball comes around and he sees Max getting fawned over by her mother and he thinks about his own mother (bc tell me that boy’s expression isn’t sad when he sees her in that scene) it’s the last time he sees Max in a home that they share. That night Neil drunkenly shouts homophobic slurs at him and Billy’s done with it He can’t take it. Hopper has been telling him for a month now to just file a report, he’s sure he has enough evidence to catch Neil on an abuse charge, and so he finally does.

Hopper promises to fight for his custody, so that he has a safe roof to live under at least until he turns 18. Hopper cashes in on a favor with the judge bc somehow and for some fucking reason he says there isn’t enough substantial evidence to say anything + people are confused as to why it’s Hopper asking for custody of Billy. So Neil stays living with his wife and Max and gives away custody of Billy pretty angrily but not out of any love of him. (and is it realistic for this to happen?? i’m not sure about it but either way, i melt over Hopper adopting Billy and being brought into a family with Hop and El and Joyce and Jonathan and Will. and no matter what happens with Neil, i just can’t see Max leaving her mom. i think she would cling to any blood relation she has bc yeah, she has friends now, but her mother is her mother) Billy still drives Max to school every day and he makes her promise him she’ll tell him if anything bad ever happens bc “Hey, I have a pretty decent in with the Chief of Police now, alright shithead? You need anything done, I’ve got you.”

so now think of the POSSIBILITIES!! Billy and El as brother and sister, bickering and messing around with each other and Billy showing her new music much to Hop’s dismay but he likes that El has company! Joyce and Hop getting together and Joyce becoming a good mother to him bc lets face it, Joyce would mother the world if she could!! Him finally getting to be with Steve and not being called homophobic slurs and getting closer and closer to Steve as they become boyfriends and dads to the children!!!! the possibilities are endless for Billy Hargrove/Hopper!!!!!!!

(jury’s still out on how to fit S3 in here and how much of canon i want to put into this headcanon but imagine Billy having people in his corner after he’s been possessed and they notice a lot quicker when he gets possessed so they help him faster!!)(or he can just be at home playing board games with El on the night that he was supposed to get possessed and he’s able to be a supportive and sassy figure for El and the kids bc babysitter Steve was off trying to fight russians.)(!!! imagine concerned Billy wondering where the fuck Steve is and getting jealous that he’s out with a girl and Steve is like: “I was literally inches away from death and you’re STILL being a jealous bitch, are you serious????”)

ANYWAY this was so long and a bit unnecessary but this is the gist of what I think and when I write headcanons I’m talking about a universe where all of this took place (unless otherwise specified). Sorry for this mess, but it was good for me to write this out and if anyone is interested in my dumb ideas of how Billy’s story could have gone differently, here’s a preview of whatever dumpster fire of a fic i put out eventually. + you can always talk to me here, i’m open to excitedly yell with you ♥

[palmviolet]

Do you think Hopper is a good father figure to Eleven? Not really perfect, but not the worst like Dr. Brenner was? When I think about it I’m mostly conflicted because Hopper obviously cares for Eleven’s well being and loves to spend time with her, but at the same time he was shown to have kinda manipulative and controlling traits over her, like that time she took a risk in escaping the cabin or when he threatened her boyfriend Mike. His style of parenting is def controversial.

well obviously when you compare him to brenner he is much, much better. he actively cares about el and looks after her because he wants to protect her, not because he’s using her for experiments. i mean stranger things as a whole has an issue with father figures, so let’s review: we have brenner (awful), neil hargrove (awful), lonnie (just as awful), ted (pathetic), mr sinclair (cool but we only get a glimpse of him), and then there’s hopper. hopper ranks above ted, for sure. comparatively he’s one of the best fathers on the show, if not the best. but he is the best of a bad bunch.

‘controversial’ is the right word. in season 2 i think his behaviour was more understandable because there is a real risk of death or worse to literally everyone involved if the government finds out about el. we know the kids are smart and responsible, but he doesn’t and he’s well within his rights not to trust their secret-keeping abilities. as for not telling joyce - i can understand why he didn’t, because she’s got a lot on her plate right now, but i think it was detrimental to both el and joyce. el, because her only influence becomes hopper and the tv. that’s not healthy, especially for a teenager who has had limited contact with the outside world anyway thus far. she’s going stir crazy and he should be understanding of that, not reacting with anger. it’s bad for joyce too because regardless of whether she knows that hopper gave el up to brenner she probably feels horribly guilty about the whole thing - in essence el gave her life to save will, or so joyce believes. if hop had told joyce about el then it would have had the dual benefit of easing joyce’s guilt and of giving el another influence, one who is very experienced in parenting teenagers. but he didn’t, so it’s academic.

he hasn’t been a parent in a long time and i don’t think he ever expected to be a parent again. so when el lands in his lap he’s a bit rusty, to say the least. he resorts to his usual methods of problem-solving - anger, manipulation, control - which simply won’t work on a telekinetic teenage girl. he’s trying to keep her safe but he doesn’t understand the fact that she is a child - because she is still a child, especially since she grew up in the lab - and what seems logical and easy to him isn’t at all to her. 

like i said, this is all understandable, if not great. but s3 is where it gets less so. the duffers seem to have enjoyed (?) his overprotectiveness in s2 for some reason so they decide to ramp it up to max in s3, despite the fact that the danger is passing. for some reason hopper - who himself has admitted that he was far from a model teenage boy and was actively engaged in relationships and sexual activity at el’s age if not younger - cannot stand the fact that el is in a relationship. el and mike have seen each other every single day since s2 and yeah, that’s not healthy at all, especially as it’s to the detriment of her other relationships, but the way he goes about handling it is not good. he asks joyce for advice and then discards it (which i don’t really blame him for as a person because mike was being goddamn insufferable, but as a parent it’s his responsibility to be the mature one) and physically locks mike in his car, after lying to him. that’s not okay? he’s literally acting churlish and childish in his very parenting of a child and it’s really just... not great. as a parent you have a responsibility to show maturity, to set a good example for your kid, and he’s resorting to his old methods of manipulation etc instead.

i suppose i can somewhat understand his reasoning, if we try to look at this from a watsonian perspective instead of a doylist one (because we all know the duffers only did this for ‘humor’). hopper doesn’t want things to change, as he expresses in his letter at the end. he’s afraid of losing el, whether by her being taken by brenner or just by growing up, so he clings onto the idea of her as a kid and can’t bear to see her moving on and having other relationships. (again, not healthy.) this is probably a leftover from his grief about sara. he also doesn’t trust mike because of what hopper was like as a teenage boy - playing hooky, screwing chrissy carpenter in the back of his dad’s oldsmobile. maybe he thinks mike is just using el - though this is tenuous, because if they’ve seen each other every day since s2 it’s pretty clear their feelings are deeper than that. 

what i’d hoped to see out of this season was joyce and hopper all but co-parenting. an established family link between the hoppers and the byers, with or without joyce and hopper dating. el needs another parent and joyce is the perfect candidate - but the duffers decide not to go down this route (until the end, at least) as evidenced by el only knowing joyce as ‘will’s mom’. this would have had the effect of mitigating - at least partly - hopper’s bad tendencies, and they could have grown together as a family. instead we have hopper clearly struggling to parent alone. what alarmed me most was when he turned up drunk after joyce missed their date and literally threw the door to el’s room open in a rage. if mike had been there instead of max i dread to think what would have happened. i don’t believe he would have hurt them but- the implication was there. and it really sucked. coming home in a drunken rage is just... not good parenting. 

it’s a bit reminiscent of lonnie, actually. and later in the season murray compares the two - he says to joyce that hopper maybe ‘reminds you of a bad relationship’. what do we know about lonnie? abusive, drunk, cruel, selfish. a terrible father. now hop is nowhere near as bad so really the duffers making this explicit comparison kind of... makes it worse? so as to highlight his flaws? honestly if i thought hopper was anything like lonnie i’d stop rooting for jopper like a shot, so i have no idea what the duffers were doing with this line. or with hopper for most of the season, lmao. 

in short, hopper has his up and down moments. i understand his character and why he behaves as he does most of the time, but that’s not really an excuse. i think he’s a good father figure to el but he could do better, especially after s3. it’s clear he loves el and she loves him and they have some really sweet moments but as a parent, he needs to get his shit together. i hope if and when he comes back the duffers take this on board. 

[obsessednotepad]

SO UM- I'm trash

Okay so since I’m still in the camp camp fandom and still want to contribute-

AU time!

Now, yes, this one will be weird and sorry if you all suddenly hate me for the idea.

But have you all seen the new IT or even the miniseries one that was made back in 1990? Or even read the book?

If not, well I suggest doing so, only if you’re not afraid of clowns however and aren’t sensitive to the horror genre.

Anyways, I am trash for the new remake and I got an idea

“how about I ruin the fun for everyone and make an IT AU for camp camp?” (I’m sorry if I do ruin everything you love I truly am sorry)

So here’s how it goes

Bill - Davey (aka young David if you didn’t know) Georgie - Jasper Richie - Max Bev- Nikki Stanley - (Still slightly undecided, but could possibly be Neil) Eddie - (Undecided as well, but Preston might be a good fit due to how dramatic he gets) Ben - Space Kid (I’ll explain later if you’re confused) Mike - Harrison (will also explain later)

And of course Pennywise/IT - Daniel

Now let me explain how some of this would go,

If you haven’t heard of IT before, it’s a story of seven kids in a town called Derry, every 27 an awful presence lurks through the town and killing or kidnapping children for food, and unfortunately these kids are victims. They must find a way to stop IT from killing them or anyone else after the major disappearances in the town including Bills little brother, Georgie.

Now for my AU, it will still be taking place at the camp and of course Jasper and Davey won’t be brothers, but will have that close and brotherly bond, enough for it to effect Davey into investigating what could’ve happened to him.

Along side him who also go along with Davey’s journey is his friends. Max is a good fit for Richie due to many reasons of you have seen the recent film. Both are funny and sarcastic and badass as well, but only you would know that if you had watched the new movie.

Nikki being Bev(erly) is understandable, she’s a tomboy as is Bev, she’s independent, and she isn’t as afraid as her other friends are. She can overcome her own fears and we all know she could probably kick IT’s ass- but she knows that they all need to stick together through this as Bev does.

Neil being Stanley, is probably the best option, but he could also be Eddie if you think on it. Still, I think he would fit Stanley, both are awkward, yes but they are gentle with certain things. And both are Jewish but I don’t know weather to consider that a trait for both because they don’t let it truly define them. I feel as if both have a dark and secret hate for something or possibly someone, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Preston being Eddie is worth considering, both are dramatic at times, and seems to be very strict on certain things or issues, and I can see a match for these two, how loud they are and how dramatic they get, but also how comedic they can be!

Space Kid being Ben may raise a few eyebrows to some, but seeing how we all know Space Kid does his own fair of research on space as Ben does on the town of Derry, I feel a match between them. But, I will consider Nerris for this as well, yes she’s adventurous, but I could see her trying to track down everything she could to find out what’s up with the town of Derry or the camp itself.

Harrison being Mike may be confusing to some, but I think it would be a good match. Mike is often treated differently due to his race and possibly that he’s homeschooled. Harrison would also be treated like this due to his abilities, if any of you have forgotten, both of Harrison’s parents were terrified of the things he could do, you could only imagine how everyone else felt once they found out. I can also see the same guilt they have, Mike feels guilt from the burning of the Black Spot which took both very important lives to him. I feel like Harrison would have a similar guilt due to him making his brother disappear and never being able to bring him back.

And should I even begin to explain why Daniel is a good fit for Pennywise/ IT? I mean come on, if you have to, rewatch S2 E1 of camp camp and I know you’ll understand.

Ok..if you did and still don’t, guess I’ll explain.

In both versions and the book, Pennywise is supposed to come off as friendly to children to lure them into his trap. He also lures them in by creating or transforming into their terrifying fears. Daniel gives off that vibe during S2 E1, he seems friendly and nice, but once you dig deeper you begin to see the true colors, he’s not at all what he seems to be and you’ll only realize it when it might be too late.

Also one more thing, for those who have watched or read IT, there is a slight love triangle, but in this AU, I honestly wouldn’t see any between Davey, Nikki, and Space Kid. So for this AU, there isn’t a love triangle, it’s just close friend relationships.

Anyways, knowing me I will probably draw fanart of this AU soon so just look out for that everyone.

This is Obsessed signing off-

Goodbye! Tell me your thoughts of this AU by messaging me, sending in an ask or reblogging!

[forestwater87]

JERMY FARTZ (S2E4) MASTERPOST: NO BREAKING INTO PARTS, WE SCROLL LIKE MEN

I laugh at that name every time, and I’m not even sorry.

So I haven’t touched the 2 latest episodes because I’m lazy, but this was so much fun that I had to devote some time screaming to it! So get ready kids, because there is screaming (and spoilers) below the cut.

Though first: someone who’s never seen Camp Camp tell me what’s going on in this picture:

This episode has my favorite people. As in, Gwen and David. Yeah, there’s gonna be a lot of them in this post, and I’m not even sorry.

But first! Have some squished Nikki:

I love her.

FACE DOWN BOOTY UP

THAT’S THE WAY WE LIKE TO —

. . . Moving on.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Max’s sassy little wrist flip?

Also can someone explain to me how Camp Campbell won anything athletic against the Woodscouts? That seems to defy logic.

There are so many good things going on in this picture, but the most exciting is that GWEN IS SMILING! ACTUALLY SMILING FOR REAL!

Don’t believe me? Look at this saucy little zoom in:

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS! Also, if we can indulge me for a moment (and I’d like to see you stop me): She’s not smiling because of the game. She’s not smiling because the kids are happy.

That smile is 100% aimed at David.

Girl’s in love, is all I’m saying.

Nikki, what the fuck are you doing?

A lot of this is going to literally just be a dumping ground for pictures I think are cute, because I still don’t really understand what a “masterpost” is. So in that vein, Max is cute. Space Kid, in the background: also cute.

Man, they kinda look like they’re reenacting a super low-budget version of West Side Story, huh? 

But I feel like it needs more ~camp.~

THERE WE GO! Thanks, David. Always there to sparkle things up when I need you.

One of the reasons I can’t stand Pikeman — besides the, y’know, all of him — is how he makes David sad. Look at David’s sad sad face and tell me you don’t wanna punch this twerp just a little bit.

Then again, he also makes Max make this face, and this is a great face.

Allow me to deposit in front of your eyeballs some Davids:

There we go! Aren’t we all feeling a little bit better now?

I HEARD MY BOYFRIEND COWORKER WAS BEING AN IDIOT AND CAME AS FAST AS I COULD!

Honestly, “Gwen desperately trying to stop David from doing something really stupid” is one of my favorite dynamics. They continue to be everything I need in life. Looking at this picture caused 75 new Forestwater Gwenvid stories to appear in the AO3 feed. (Ha, no. Wouldn’t that be awful?)

She so badly wants to save him (and her, let’s be real) from himself and I love it.

And that’s the moment you realize David is an incurable idiot. (Who totally gambles because Mr. Campbell does it and he wants to be like dad.)

I don’t even have anything to say, I just love this picture to pieces. Every expression is gold.

Here are some cute Davids:

And OH MY GOD LOOK AT MAX’S FACE:

LOOKIT HIM

HE LOOKS LIKE FUCKING GRUMPY CAT I’M WHEEZING

I’m not sure what’s the best thing about this: Gwen’s face, how proud David is, or the fact that literally everyone is just d o n e with his bullshit.

(Just kidding. The answer is always Gwen.)

I have a moral conflict regarding her, because on the one hand I want nothing more than for her to be happy, but on the other . . .

look

how great

her angry faces are.

Also take a moment and appreciate David. I think something valuable gets broken in his brain this episode, because he makes this face for a solid 45% of it.

Though I mean . . . I’m not complaining. It’s a damn cute face, and he looks like a sad kitten.

(Do I relate all things I find adorable to kittens? Mayhap.)

1) Gwen is precious. I feel like this is a given at this point but will continue to point it out because I have a need to.

2) What is up with David’s center of gravity? Am I the only person who wouldn’t be able to balance like that?

Let me show you: an emotional breakdown in 4 pictures:

This is not a well woman, guys. She’s not holding on to her chill even a little bit.

(Also the way David looks down at his chest after she pokes him in it, like he’s saying “me?” I love him so much, guys. He is kitten.)

Davey trying to win the family over with sweet dance moves and a charming smile.

It doesn’t work.

Though Lordy, I literally made a goose-like honk at Gwen’s face.

(It’s at this point, at 11 p.m. on a work night, that I decided not to break this up into separate parts like I did for the first episode. This might be a terrible idea.)

(Editing this at almost 1 a.m. on a work night: It was a terrible idea.)

These 3 pictures are less than 2 seconds apart. I fucking love the animation on this show.

(And hey, it’s my icon! Hi icon!)

Why is beat-up David so attractive? Is it me? Am I just a monster?

Not a single face here isn’t great. These beautiful babes.

So the general plot of this episode (not that you come here for plot synopses. You come here for pictures and lots of screaming) is that everyone at camp has to be nice for 24 hours or they have to surrender their best camper to the Woodscouts.

It . . .

. . . doesn’t come naturally to them.

Wait, no. This is the picture I want described by someone who’s never seen Camp Camp before.

I cropped out what they’re reacting to in this shot.

That’s because I love you.

(Starting to regret this whole “not breaking into parts thing.” Will I be weak enough to cave? Who knows?)

(Editing note: Nope! I wasn’t! Oops!)

Is it me, or is Max more expressive this season? Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention previously, but it seems like his faces are way more entertaining in these most recent episodes.

In an epic battle of who can be the most charming while leaning, Nikki goes for a classic jazz hands approach that’s sure to impress the judges, Neil opts for a safe routine with minimal leaning but excessive raptor arms (points for originality), and Space Kid brings home the gold because he looks like an old-timey farmer holding up invisible suspenders/overalls, and that’s not easy to accomplish while wearing a space suit made out of cardboard and underwear.

Observe: 3 Very Angry Beans. You can tell they’re Very Angry Beans because of their Very Angry Mouths. Approach with caution.

I would die for David. Just wanted to throw that out there.

I wish I didn’t find Max’s suffering so adorable. (Editing note: I also wish I used a thesaurus. Oh well. Hope you like variations on the word “adorable!”)

Then again, I wish I was asleep and also I’d like some carrot cake, so it’s just an evening/early morning of disappointments.

Why golly, is it time for more Gwen faces?! I believe it is!

AWOOOOOOO

WEREWOLVES OF CAMP CAMP

shut up I think I’m funny

David’s making The Face. The Face that makes me think something’s broken inside him, because he makes it throughout this entire scene with very few exceptions.

But again, it’s a great face.

(Also look at Nikki and Gwen sizing each other up. Isn’t it cute?)

I think my favorite thing about this episode is, like in S2 Ep. 3 — which I’ll get to eventually! — we see Gwen genuinely does care. This is more than just a paycheck for her; she wants the kids to be happy and respect each other, she wants them to learn and even have fun (provided that fun isn’t ruining her life). She’s worried about Jermy, and she trusts and respects the campers to understand what she thought they were doing that was uncool and why.

She’s actually good at her job, and at any other camp she might even enjoy it to some extent. She’s just been very beaten down by the Campbell kids to the point of apathy and, ahem, “crippling anxiety and regret.”

Basically Gwen’s what happens when Max succeeds at what he was trying to do to David all season 1.

Pfft. Cute. I love Jermy just for the suffering he inflicts on the mains. (Also he’s surprisingly aware of what a disaster he is, without being depressed about it. I can respect that.)

David’s making that face again.

Why does he keep making that face?

David’s brain might have gone all Blue Screen of Death, but Gwen’s actually sets on fire:

I feel like maybe I should take back what I said about her being good at her job. She’s still not great with kids, okay? 

But she cares. That’s the important part.

I don’t know if Petrol will get the credit he deserves for this episode, but he’s just pure comedic gold. Every time he shows up it’s fucking funny.

The Most Important Things in Forestwater’s Life Right Now: A Triptych

David’s face

David’s moonwalking

Gwen’s face

(Also: Petrol. Continuing to make me giggle way too loud and disturb my neighbors.)

If you’ll forgive me a little shipping (and if you’ve scrolled this far, I think it’s pretty clear you’ll forgive basically anything): Look at her soul-crushing despair. That is a face you give someone when you’re close enough to communicate to them without a word.

Okay, I mean what she’s communicating is “kill me,” but I still think it counts. You don’t give that kinda eye contact to a casual acquaintance, is all I’m saying.

I feel like I haven’t properly communicated how much I love every expression this woman makes.

Is that clear yet?

Look how proud David is that his babies are participating!

This is entirely for @hopefullypessimistic84, who could always use a cute Nerris in her life.

MAX

MY BOY

My favorite part about the next few pictures is how you can clearly see every thought in Gwen’s head as she’s thinking it.

“All right, you’ll be fine. Just think positive! Be David!”

“Okay no, don’t be David. Never be David. But remember how much you like not living with your parents! Do it for the rent money!”

“Yeah, look at you, girl. You got this!”

“Please don’t let David or Max fuck this up.”

“Oh, Christ.”

“Oh, CHRIST.”

“Literally no one else is gonna take care of this shit. This is your job. You HAVE to.”

“Still better than living with your parents. Technically.”

Petrol continues to be very very good.

Max pulling out his hair in frustration at having to be nice is a beautiful thing and I want more of it.

He is an angry elf.

NURF! BABY! Why are you sad? You did such a good art! You should be so happy!

Please don’t cry, Nurf. I love you.

This shot is also for HopefullyPessimistic, and I hope she appreciates it because it was really hard to get. Nerris was onscreen for like 2 seconds and the cup was in her face for most of it.

Petrol.

Is.

Hilarious.

He somehow became one of my favorite characters? How the fuck did that happen?

This show is sometimes just so pretty, guys.

Pfft.

Some brief Preston appreciation, because I don’t pay him enough attention. With an appearance by Petrol.

1) David is pure and beautiful.

2) Gwen is fucking done. With everything, but especially David.

3) QM is . . . what’s he doing to his hand? Because it really looks like he’s ripping off his fingernail. That’s . . . I mean, I don’t wanna tell you how to live your life, especially since I’m pretty sure you’re older than most municipalities so clearly you’re doing something right, but I feel like that’s not a great idea, my man.

I didn’t know that Max slowly losing his mind was my aesthetic, but apparently it is because these pictures make me laugh my ass off every time I see them.

Nurf has Sassy Eyebrows. 

(Editing note: My thoughts started deteriorating around midnight. You might be able to tell by the quality of my commentary.)

I’m sorry. I know Dolph is a super controversial character and all . . . but goddamn it, he’s cute as fuck. I can’t help but like him.

*Daniel neck crick*

Max is such a force to be reckoned with that a dog pile must be created to contain his rage. 

Also I’m not sure where Ered or Harrison’s heads are in that nightmare, but it can’t be comfortable. That’s some serious dedication to the cause, kids. Nikki’s clearly having the time of her life. And Space Kid . . . uh, good effort, I guess?

These are pictures of a fully-grown man mocking a child who has been put under his care. Does that make them any less adorable?

No. Such is David’s terrifying power.

Tremble before his cuteness, bitches.

“I’m an asshole!”

But he’s a daggum lovable asshole, isn’t he?

Max’s relief at finally being able to call David a moron and tell him to suck a dick . . . I don’t wanna say he looks like a happy kitty.

Just know I’m thinking it very very loudly.

What a sweet child.

Final Petrol appreciation: he still has the whistle in his mouth. He is a good and loyal boy.

It’s The Face.

Again.

(Gwen is lovely. As usual.)

Look at this smug motherfucker. He even makes this little “hmm” noise which is so cute, like everything worked out the way he’d planned it. Anyone who says David isn’t a dick isn’t watching the show closely enough. He’s a selfish douchebag a lot of the time and it’s one of the best things about him.

Yes, Gwen. That is the appropriate reaction. (Also she backhanded him. That was no open-palm affair; that’s knuckles in his cheekbone. Gwen’s cold.)

Oh, and sorry about the volume slider. If it wasn’t 12:30 in the morning I’d totally fix that.

David makes a sad little “eunghh” sound when she hits him. It is also too precious for words.

Look at his hair floof! Look how it floofs!

(there is a nervous giggle here. I melted)

I once saw a man so beautiful I started crying?

Something these pictures will never be able to accurately communicate:

1) The way there’s this lovely light 1980s-sitcom Very Special Episode music playing in the background, like David’s going to impart a moral. (Spoiler: he doesn’t)

2) The way Miles’ voice kept cracking like a fa — a bunch of pine birch sticks this whole episode. You might be surprised to find that I think it’s adorable. I’m not sure how you possibly could be surprised by that, but you might be.

“Maybe I AM an asshole.”

“Just . . . sometimes, okay?! Sometimes!”

The best moral and possibly my new favorite line to randomly quote.

LOOK AT THE BLUSHY BOY

LOOK HOW HANDSOME HE IS

HOW PURE

HOW FLUSTERED

WATCH HIM STORM OFF WITH THAT LITTLE ANGRY POUT

HE’S PROBABLY OFF TO ANGRY-CRY AND WRITE IN HIS DIARY

MAYBE CALL HIS MOM AND ASK IF SHE’S DISAPPOINTED IN HIM

HE IS THE SWEETEST

Even if I didn’t love every minute of the episode leading up to this (and I do), these last 5 seconds would absolutely skyrocket it to one of my favorites of the entire show. Just look how fucking cute this is. Look at it!

David is bad at being a person and we love him for it.

And here ends the longest, stupidest thing I’ve ever written. I’m genuinely curious to see if anyone made it all the way through. If you did . . . you deserve a cookie or something. Definitely mention in the tags or send me an ask saying you did, because I wanna know who’s almost as nerdy and lame as I am!