#andreil as parents is my weakness

[bea28]

so.. i just saw this video of a parent explaining to a 3yo how trick or treating works.. and..

nicky to andreils 3yo: all you do is say “trick or treat”, and guess what they do!

kid: what?

nicky: THEY GIVE YOU CANDY!

kid: *shocked* oooh

neil: *smiles, already knowing where this is going*

andrew: nicky..

nicky: and then you go to the next house and guess what they do????

nicky: THEY GIVE YOU MORE CANDY!!

kid: who is just as obsessed with sweets as andrew is, looks at andrew sitting on the sofa with the biggest smile ever

andrew:

kid: i want it, i want it, dad i wanna do halloween!! i want candy! can we do it??

andrew: *sighs in defeat* sure

neil: *smiling* yeah kiddo we’ll do it with you

————

day after halloween

tabloids

“EXY STAR ANDREW MINYARD IS SPOTTED DURING TRICK OR TREATING”

“EXY STARS NEIL JOSTEN AND ANDREW MINYARD ARE SPOTTED GOING TRICK OR TREATING TOGETHER”

“EXY FAMILY GOES TRICK OR TREATING” *attached is a picture of andrew caring a super content and sugar sticky 3yo in his arms, neil is next to him smiling and holding two bags of candy*

————

kevin: (for the hundredth time that day) don’t let the kid eat more than one sweet a day, too much sugar is…

andrew: SHUT UP DAY!

neil: SHUT UP DAY!

nicky: SHUT UP DAY!

matt: SHUT UP DAY!

[nekojitachan]

i have no idea if you're still taking prompts, but anything andreil either in the armies universe or in the way down we go universe would be gucci and i would love you forever. my life belongs to you now

Okay, so first off, @dancyon, thanks for all the messages you’ve sent me over time, the comments about the fics and so forth. I know you’ve asked if I’d ever do another story for Way Down We Go or if Mary hadn’t died, and oddly enough, I’ve had a plot idea for a while which merged the two.

And sorry for being ‘quiet’ lately, but back to trying to figure things out - one of them being my writing, and my writing in fandom in particular. I’ve been doing it for years, and while I’ve thought of each fic being a way to improve my skills, to learn something new... I have to say, lately I just feel like nothing I’m writing is worth anything, it’s just drivel and pathetic.

So I’m trying to get motivated to write again. This is something that actually got me busy at the keyboard, so I hope @dancyon that you are at least happy, since I know it’s something you’ve waited for a long time. And if it’s the last thing I do for AFTG, then it’s fitting that it’s back to WDWG, since that was my first fic for the fandom.

That said - the fic. Consider it a ‘what if’ for WDWG - if Mary had lived but sent Neil/Nathaniel off on his own at the beginning of the fic (believing she was about to die), and everything still takes place as written in the story. Warnings for things referenced in the story, language, Mary’s bad (abusive) parenting skills, and Andrew being protective of Neil.

*******

Through A Glass Darkly

*******

Mary hissed through clenched teeth as she motioned for Abramto take the exit for San Francisco. “Get off there,” she commanded, whichearned a disbelieving look from her son. “Do it.”

“But-“

“Do it,” she repeated, “and find the nearest petrolstation. Once there, put in a few li-“ dammit, she was slipping, “ah, a fewgallons and then run.”

“Mum, what’s happening?” Abram asked as he dared to glanceaway from the dark highway in front of them to give her a scared look. “That…we’re ditching the car?”

“No, you are,” she told him. “You’re going to run,Abram, going to keep going and never stop, never look back.”

“You’re not making any sense,” he argued as he shook hishead, his left eye bruised from a lucky blow that bitch had landed backin Seattle; Mary was certain he hid more injuries beneath his clothes, but he’dgotten off with less than her so he needed to move on. “We’ll-“

“No, we won’t.” Pain made her tone more waspish than usualas she fought not to curl up in a ball, to just give in to the burning agonyeating at her insides. “That prick… he got me good,” she admitted as she heldup her bloody left hand, a sardonic smile curling her thin lips when her songasped. “No,” she repeated when Abram opened his mouth, most likely to argueabout stopping to take care of the wound. “This isn’t something we fix withbourbon and stitches, I can tell, or else we’d already be in a motel by now.”No, Nathan had finally gotten to her in the end, but she’d make sure hewouldn’t get her boy. “So you listen to me, do you understand?”

“But, Mum, we-“

“Do you understand, Abram?” She’d back it with asmack if she had the strength.

It sounded as if the boy choked back on a sob, but his eyesremained dry and he gave a curt nod in the end. “Good. Next exit, then gasstation. Put in enough gas so I can drive away,” could muddy the waters, so tospeak, however much longer she had, “and then you run,” she ordered with asmuch force as she could muster. “You run and you don’t look back, you don’tslow down and you don’t trust anyone, do you hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said in a quiet voice as his hands grippedthe steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white – they were herhands, were the Hatfords’ hands with the long, slender fingers.

“You keep moving, you-“ A cough took over, filled her mouthwith blood which she spat onto the left sleeve of her shirt. “Become someoneelse,” she said once her throat was mostly clear. “Use the contacts in thebinder, get a new ID, and another one, and-“

“I know, Mum, I know. I promise. Just… just rest,” hepleaded as he took the exit a little fast.

“You’ll survive, you’re a Hatford,” she assured him as sherested her back against the seat, as she did her best to ride out the latestwave of pain. “Keep moving.”

It was quiet the next few minutes (save her laboredbreathing) until Abram found a gas station; he parked next to the farthest pumpand did his best to straighten up his appearance, then pulled on an oversizedhoodie as he went to pay for a couple gallons of gas. He returned with a bottleof water and some over the counter pain pills, which Mary choked down beforeshe forced herself into the driver’s seat while he tended to the pump.

She made him take her few belongings with him since she hadno need for them (that and the less which was found on her, the better). Hischin wavered and there was a suspicious gleam in his eyes (darkened bycontacts), but he held it together, mindful of the lessons she’d taught him, ofany possible cameras around the station.

For one improbable moment, she felt the urge to pull himclose and hug him, to not let go… but he wasn’t a child anymore, hadn’t beenone for years, and he needed to run before the prick’s people got any closer.Besides, the clock was winding down for her, what good would it do to wasteprecious moments on something so useless? “Go, and live,” she told him as shestarted the car.

He may have said something like her name or ‘Mum’, but sheslammed the door shut and was already pulling away, refusing to look back at heronly child. Teeth clenched against the pain, she drove away, determined to putas much distance between her and Abram as possible in the small amount of timeshe had left.

After that, it was fighting the agony and blood-loss to keepcontrol of the car, to remain in the lane and not attract unwanted attention.To give Abram one last fighting chance.

The last thing she remembered was seeing a sign for the exitto King City before everything went dark.

*******

She woke up to the sound of beeping and an ache in her head,to a sense of lethargy. It was so difficult to open her eyes, and there wassuch a foul taste in her mouth that she gave up and let the darkness pull herunder once again.

The next time there was still the annoying beeping noises,was still the lethargy which made it difficult to move her limbs, still theawful gumminess in her mouth. There was also some git flashing a light in herbarely open eyes, which prompted a weak moan.

“Hello? Can you hear me? Blink twice if you can.”

It took so much effort, but she did that, as well as try toswat their (was it a man?) hand away to get rid of the light. There were morewords but she didn’t understand them, not when they all blurred together, andshe fell asleep once again.

When she woke later, she was more coherent and managed tomumble out a request for water to the woman sitting next to the bed. The person(a nurse?) scrambled and held a straw to her lips (something was wrong, why waseverything so blurry, so distant?), but only let her take a couple of sips beforepulling it away. “I’m sorry, but you can’t drink too much at once.”

It took a few tries, but she (why couldn’t she rememberanything? Like her name and where she was?) managed to make hertongue, so thick and heavy in her mouth, work. “Wha… where?”

“Where? Oh.” The woman, appearing middle-aged and dressed inscrubs, her salt-and-pepper hair cut short and styled in tight curls close toher scalp and a reassuring smile on her dark-skinned face bearing only a fewwrinkles. “You’re in the Natividad Medical Center. Now let me page Dr. Carra,he’s been waiting for you to wake up again.”

What followed was more poking and prodding, with lots ofquestions and very few answers – from Dr. Carra or Beth Wilson, the nurse mostoften assigned to ‘Jane’; it eventually came out that she’d been pulled from acar wreck near King City almost a year ago, near death and with noidentification. After the local hospital had stabilized her, they’d sent her toNatividad when it became clear that she was in a coma from the blood loss andtrauma, and the staff there weren’t surprised that she’d woken up with nomemory of her past. Now they were focused on her getting better.

Oh, it wasn’t quite as simple as that, not when she’d beenfound in a stolen car, when her fingerprints were so badly damaged that theycouldn’t manage a complete enough one to search any database for her, whenshe’d been found with no ID at all, when her body was covered with scars from beforethe accident. She’d overheard a couple of nurses talk about how the police werewaiting for her to recover enough to talk to her, but Dr. Carra refused toallow them access until she showed some signs of progress.

She might not remember anything of her past, but she knewsomehow that she couldn’t let that happen, that she had to get out of therebefore the police got involved. So she faked the lack of recovery, made it seemlike her body wasn’t cooperating when it came to walking again or handlingsimple tasks… and after a few weeks (right around when Dr. Carra talked aboutsending her on to another hospital for evaluation), she timed it just right duringthe night, hit up the nurses’ locker room for a change of clothes and whatevercash she could find, and slipped out of the hospital with no one the wiser.

Perhaps she couldn’t remember her name, where she was fromand how she’d ended up in that car accident, but somehow, she knew how to sneakaround, how to steal and pick pockets, how to vanish. She put those skills touse getting the hell out of Salinas, and when the Greyhound bus stopped atArizona, her hair was dyed another color and cut into a new style.

It was a littletrickier to get into Mexico; she spent a couple of weeks picking pockets on herway from Arizona to Texas, until she had enough to bribe a truck driver tosmuggle her over the border at the Presidio Bridge. For some reason, a sense ofanxiousness left her once she was out of the country, though there was anagging feeling that she’d forgotten something, that she’d left somethingimportant behind.

Yet what could she do when she no longer remembered herpast?

It wasn’t easy, being an American woman alone in Mexico, onewithout papers at that, but Jane (as she’d taken to calling herself), realizedthat she was highly adaptable and resilient. She was also willing to dowhatever it took to not only remain alive but to stand on her own, as anyonewho tried to harm or dismiss her soon learned. Since she didn’t go out of herway to pick fights and was quick to offer solutions to deal with any ‘ruffled’feathers, she eventually was able to settle down in Monterrey as Judith Leeson,an ex-pat who worked as a bartender most nights but who also was available as atranslator for the various businesspeople who came to the city for business(legitimate or otherwise).

Whoever she’d been in the past, she appreciated the factthat she’d learned several languages, as the German, French, bit of Italian andPortuguese as well as the rapidly expanded Spanish came in very handy in hernew life.

At times, she felt the urge to move on, to start anew, butshe didn’t know what she was running from so she forced herself to remain inthe safe place she’d found for herself and to continue building up a heftysavings account while she paid attention to the customers who came into thebar, the people who hired her for her language skills, the neighbors around hersmall apartment. No detail was too tiny to ignore, and she promised herselfonce the money reached a set amount, she’d leave Mexico and start anew.

For some reason, she had a yearning to see London….

She’d spent two weeks running all over the city for someFrench prat who didn’t even like beer but was there because of the one brewingcompany, and so wasn’t in the mood to deal with customers at the moment (truthbe told, she rarely was in the mood to deal with customers). When a group ofAmericans asked Jair to switch the channel on a television from a telenovelarerun to one which gave updates on sports, she shrugged to show she didn’t carebecause it should at least keep them distracted.

For once the patrons weren’t interested in some football orbaseball recap, but that one new sport – Exy. Jane (Judith) found herselfgrowing annoyed as always whenever it was brought up, which she’d never beenable to figure out why – at least it was fast-paced, like soccer. Yet she feltanger build up inside of her whenever she heard the word ‘Exy’, whenever shesaw young people run across one of its courts, and that evening was noexception.

The commentator went on to recap what must be somecollegiate season, and her shoulders tensed and temper spiked each time thewords ‘Edgar Allan’ were brought up, enough so that Ines, one of the servers,gave her a worried look when she stopped by to pick up the drinks for hercustomers. Jane grit her teeth and forced herself to pour the shots of tequilasand beers, to make the margaritas and whatever else the guests wanted, halftempted to down a drink herself.

The one table cheered when the announcer got to the finalgame, between the Edgar Allan Ravens and the Palmetto State Foxes; all Janecared about was that it meant that the segment should soon be over. She hadjust set down a bottle of tequila when it felt like someone kicked her in thehead.

“-at this point in the game, Neil Josten switched from astriker to the backliner position. I don’t know if people are aware that heplayed as a backliner years ago when he was Nathaniel Wesninski, but obviouslyhe didn’t-“

Nathaniel Wesninski.

Nathaniel Abram Wesninski.

Abram.

Nathan Wesninski.

The Hatfords.

She was Mary Jamilyn Hatford Wesninski.

A feeling of disconnection washed over her as she stared atthe television, at the game displayed on it; a small figure in white and orangeran across a black and red court, the number ‘10’ and name ‘Josten’ across hisback, while a cropped image of his face appeared in the corner along with thebanner declaring him to be ‘Neil Josten – PSU Striker #10’.

That… that was Abram. He was a few years older thanthe last time she’d seen him, his hair color restored to a deep auburn and halffalling into his eyes – his blue eyes. There were strong echoes of Nathanin his appearance, marred by sharp cheekbones and thin eyebrows and a fullbottom lip, as well as a scar that ran across the boy’s nose and beneath hisleft eye, and another through his right eyebrow.

There was also an ‘A’ tattoo on his left cheek.

“Judith? Is everything okay?”

Mary nearly grabbed the small knife she used to cut up fruitand shoved it into Ines’ throat before she caught herself in time. “I… I’vea bad headache,” she half-lied in Spanish; her head did hurt, probably fromthe returned memories, but it was more the realization that her son was playingExy, that he’d been back at Edgar Allan of all places, right infront of the damn Moriyamas… what the hell had happened?

She was going to beat the boy black and blue once she gother hands on him. Beat him until he never dared to argue with her again, to goagainst her wishes.

Damn Exy.

It took a couple of weeks before she could leave Monterrey, finishan owed job and line up a passport which would stand up to any scrutiny as wellas find a driver with a SENTRI card who could get her out of the country (atleast she had plenty of money and contacts this time around). While she waitedfor the forger to come through, she found out that Nathan was dead, buried inthe ground (or whatever, may the prick rot in Hell) the last few years afterhe’d been killed in prison (at least Seattle had been worth something)and most of his people dead or on the run.

That Abram had somewhat listened to her, as he’d made it outof San Francisco… but eventually ended up at Palmetto State University with ascholarship to play Exy, after turning down Edgar Allan. It seemed that he’dignored her instructions to forego anything to do with the damn game andsomehow attracted the attention of the Moriyamas (according to what she couldpick up over the internet)… yet he was still alive (despite a very publicattempt on Riko Moriyama’s part to change that), and appeared to beoutside of their control.

Mary needed to reach her son, find out what was going onfrom a reliable source and get the both of them out of the country.

As soon as she crossed the border back into the States, she madeher way for one of her stashes of cash and weapons that had been left inNebraska. Even with Nathan dead, she felt as if there was a target painted onher back, now that she knew her past and had returned to the country which hadcaused her so much pain. Due to the paranoia and her lack of knowledge, she hadto waste more time backtracking and laying a false trail, ‘just in case’.

At least everything was still in the abandoned cabin in thePonca State Park, even if Mary spent the entire time hiking to it cursing inseveral languages. From there, it was driving in an old Ford sedan she boughtin Omaha to Chicago (with a few careful detours), where she could hit up an oldfamily contact for a new ID and hopefully for some of that reliableinformation.

After spending the night in a motel to clean up (and changeher hair), she set off for the French Market District to find Durand, planningto arrive soon after he opened the office. That gave her time to stop for a coffeeand a croissant at the nearby market, and she’d just finished both before sheset off to see the forger.

As soon as she walked into the man’s office, he paled andacted as if he’d seen a ghost even as he fumbled for something (a gun, mostlikely) beneath the counter. “No… this isn’t possible….”

“Yes, it is,” she assured him in French. “We firstmet almost twenty-four years ago, after I arrived in this country, at a partythat Blondel threw for Rieves. You complemented my necklace.” Which Nathanhad broke into pieces later that night in a fit of petty jealousy.

“But you’re supposed to be dead,” Durand insisted ashe set a pistol on the counter, doubts apparently put at rest. “Your son-“

“He thinks I’m dead,” Mary explained. “The last hesaw me… it wasn’t good. I barely survived and woke up without any memory untilrecently. I’m on my way to find him, after you provide me with a new IDand some information.”

“I’ll do my best,” Durand said with a slightinclination of his head after a moment’s hesitation “I’m sure he and your family,especially your brother, will be delighted to know you’re alive.”

“My brother?” Mary asked in confusion as she began to pullout a stack of money. “Which one?” Though she guessed he meant Stuart, sinceshe’d always been closer to him.

He confirmed that it was Stuart as he began to type on a laptop,then left her stunned with his next words. “He’s here in the States so it’lltake no time at all to reach him.” Durand paused to gaze at her. “Unless you’dprefer to reach out to him yourself?”

Stuart was here? Why was Stuart here? “I… yes.The Hatfords are working here now?”

Durand paused again, his expression unreadable save for aglimmer of concern in his dark eyes. “A lot has happened in the last severalyears, Mary. Nathan Wesninski is dead and his area is now run by MarcoHaywood.” Mary frowned at that then shrugged since she didn’t recognize thename. “Kengo Moriyama is dead and the organization is much stronger under thedirection of his son, Ichirou… with the Hatfords at his side instead of theButcher.���

That drew a gasp out of her – not that Ichirou had finallysucceeded his father (perhaps sooner than she’d expected) but that her familyworked for the Moriyamas. “How?”

“To repay a debt, one of a death owed, or so they thought,”Durand told her with evident pity as he turned the laptop around to face her.“Do you want to call your brother, or shall I?”

Stuart had come here because of her? The bloody fool – sowhy hadn’t he done something about Abram? Why was the boy playing Exy insteadof safe in England? “I’ll call him,” Mary gritted out as she memorized thenumber on the screen, which was different from the one back before her accidentand explained why she hadn’t been able to reach Stuart before then. “Now forthe ID. I need a driver’s license and a passport.” Once she reached Abram,she’d need a new set for him; perhaps Stuart could help her out.

Durand gave a slight nod and cited a number, which wouldburn through most of her money. Unfortunately, she didn’t see any way aroundit, not until she either hit up another stash, asked Stuart for some help or gotto Abram, who would hopefully have some money left.

It was quiet while for several minutes while Durand typed onhis laptop, until he cleared his throat. “Mary… I don’t know what all you’vebeen through, but I do know that things have changed a lot in the last fewyears. I suggest you talk to your brother and your son before you make anydecisions, the sooner the better.”

She gave him a cold look as she sat down in one of thechairs lining the opposite wall and lit up a cigarette despite the ‘no smokingsign’, and things were quiet again after that, other than when he asked her tostand so he could take her picture. While she waited for the new documents, sheused the burner phone she’d picked in Texas to search for new information onAbram.

‘Neil’ was back in the States after doing a media campaignin Japan (a fact which made her teeth grind together and her right hand ache tosmack him until he was barely conscious over daring to draw so much attentionto himself for what? Money? Adulation?), and supposed to report to the PSUcampus soon for the start of training.

The most recent pictures of the boy usually had him dressedin Exy gear and posed with Kevin Day (why wasn’t he at Edgar Allan? Did theMoriyamas own PSU as well?), but there were also ones of him in casual clothesnext to one Andrew Minyard, often with the short, impassive blond man appearingto block Abram from the photographers. Mary nearly bit her tongue in half whenshe read the caption about how the two were dating, and threw the phoneaside as she fumbled for another cigarette.

Had the foolish boy listened to her at all?

Durand tried to warn her once again to not do anythingfoolish when he handed over her new documents, but all she did was snatch themup before she slapped his payment down on the counter and storm out, determinedto reach Abram so she could pull him from the fucked-up mess he’d made ofthings.

As furious as she was, she took care not to drive directlyto the Palmetto State campus in case Durand broke faith in her (or, morelikely, someone was watching the man’s shop), timing things to arrive in SouthCarolina shortly after the Foxes’ summer practice resumed. She also held backon calling Stuart, unnerved despite herself from Durand’s repeat warnings andthe fact that her brother had gone to the Moriyamas because of her.

Why was her family so stupid?

Once on the PSU campus, she dialed the number she’d enteredin the one burner phone despite the early morning hour. It rang into voicemailbefore she hung up and dialed again, when Stuart finally answered on the secondring.

“The fuck are you?” he asked, his deep voice slurred withsleep.

Mary froze for a moment upon hearing her brother, a memorysurfacing of him cursing her out, gruff voice harsh but grey eyes pleading withher to stay, to not take Abram and leave London. “Hello, Stuart.”

It was quiet for several heartbeats, and then Stuart let outa string of virulent curses. “I will gut whoever the hell you are for this sickjoke,” he finally spat. “Gut you like a-“

“You always made me sandwiches with cream cheese andcucumbers,” she told him in a rush, well aware of how inventive he could bewith threats. “Even though Mum got on you to feed me something moresubstantial, you knew how much I loved them. And you’d slice the cucumbers allthin, even after you cut your finger so bad the one time, enough to leave ascar beneath the nail on your left index finger. You should have gottenstitches but you didn’t want Mum to know.”

Stuart drew in a sharp breath and held it for a couple ofseconds. “How?” he demanded to know. “You’re supposed to be dead, Nathanialsaid that bastard killed you.”

“He said that the prick hurt me badly in Seattle and I toldhim that I didn’t have much time so he had to go on without me, right?”

“Yeah. Did he lie, or you?”

Mary nodded even though Stuart couldn’t see her. “Neither.”When Stuart scoffed, she shook her head. “No, it’s the truth, I was bleedinginternally, had a ruptured spleen, among other things,” according to Dr. Carra,and she knew it wasn’t from the car accident, “and only the fact that someonesaw me wreck the car after Abram and I parted ways saved my life.”

“Where were you? Why did you show up now?” Stuart demandedto know as something clicked in the background – a lighter. “Off on a niceholiday?”

“Not quite,” she snapped as she tapped the fingers of herright hand against the steering wheel and squashed the urge for a cigarette.“Funny thing about almost bleeding to death and your body shutting down, itsometimes leads to a coma, of all things. When I woke up several months later,I didn’t remember who I was.”

“Convenient, that,” Stuart said with a hefty dose of sarcasmafter exhaling loudly. “What jogged the old noggin, eh? Suddenly feel the urgeto stab someone and everything came rushing back?”

“No, I saw my son playing a sport I forbade him to partakein ever again, at Edgar Allan of all places, on television. Imagine that.” Marywas just as good at sarcasm – one could call it a family trait. “Seeing thechild I spent several years on the run with back at the damn place I’d given upeverything for to keep him from, and then I find out you’re working for theMoriyamas? What the fuck, Stu?”

There was another harsh exhale before her brother answered,anger evident in his voice. “First? Nathaniel’s not a child anymore, if youhaven’t noticed. Second? You’ve been gone for over four years, Mary. Fouryears! A lot’s happened during that time, and a good bit of it because wethought you were dead. Joining the Moriyamas meant that we could finally takeout that bastard and repay him for all the grief he caused us, and-“

“What about Abram?” she demanded to know while she continuedto watch the front entrance of what her research told her was the athletes’dorm. “Was he part of the deal?” Had her brother, her family betrayed herbecause she refused to allow her son to join the Hatford organization?

There was another brief span of silence before Stuart huffedin response. “Yeah, it’s definitely you, either alive or a demon back from thedead.” Then he huffed again. “Not much of a difference, eh?” The faint bit ofhumor disappeared when he spoke next. “All I’ve done is look after that boy asmuch as I can, which isn’t half as much as I’d like, considering how much youfucked things up by taking him and running all over the damn place instead ofletting us help like we wanted.” He continued on when she tried to argue. “No,listen for once, dammit. I do what I can, but Natha- no, Neil is rightclever bastard and he’s made his own way, more or less. Got the main house totake him in, to extend its protection over him in exchange for him playing Exyand giving them part of his earnings.” The bastard sounded proud ofAbram, of all things.

“So they own him,” Mary clarified, made numb at the thoughtof how deep the Moriyamas had their hooks in her boy.

“They always owned him,” Stuart said with a mirthlesschuckle. “Thanks to the bastard. Nathaniel’s made it so he has some freedomnow, can play wherever he wants as long as he wins.”

“He’s still owned,” Mary ground out as she caught sight of ashort, lean figure in an orange shirt and grey shorts, and put the car in‘drive’. “I won’t stand for that, for him being property.”

“Mary, for fuck’s sake, what are you thinking? Everything’ssettled, don’t mess things up! Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you,okay?”

“My son’s out there, property andunprotected.” A son she slowly followed, mindful not to get too close as Abram joggedalong the deserted campus.

“For crying – he’s not ‘unprotected’!”

“What, the Moriyamas have guards on him?” She’d have to takethat into consideration when she grabbed Abram, but she didn’t spot anyone nearhim as of yet.

“No! I mean, not like that,” Stuart muttered. “Andrew’salways with him so he’s safe.”

‘Andrew’. “You know about his ‘boyfriend’.” She sneered asshe spoke the last word.

“Everyone knows about the runt, the two of ‘em are ‘out’.”Stuart sounded rather aggrieved about that.

“And you didn’t dissuade this ‘runt’ from your nephew?” Whatthe hell had Stuart been thinking the last few years? This was his way of‘looking out’ for Abram?

There was another loud scoff at that question. “Like hell Ididn’t. Thing is, your son is rather set on the ‘runt’… and I hate to admit it,but Andrew’s good for him.” He sounded even more aggrieved right then. “No one’sgonna touch Nathaniel while Andrew’s around.”

She’d see about that. “I’m not about to let my son remainproperty any longer, or in the company of a possessive thug. You need to thinklong and hard about where your loyalty lies, Stu,” Mary said before she endedthe call and tossed the phone out of the car, just in case her brother tried totrack it.

Aware that she didn’t have long, she followed from adistance until she saw Abram reach into the right pocket of his shorts, thengunned the car. Abram lunged out of the way of the vehicle, blue eyes wide withsurprise, and faltered when he caught sight of her.

Mary slammed on the brakes and scrambled to get out of thecar while Abram was stunned motionless, aware that she didn’t have much time.“Abram,” she called out as she stepped forward, the door left open and enginerunning. “It’s me.”

“You- you’re dead.” His voice could barely be heard over thesound of the car’s engine. “You can’t… I have to be imagining this.”

“No, it really is me. You were Henryk when we lived in Graz,Eike in Dresden, Charlie in Glasgow. We had to eat peanut butter sandwiches forthree weeks straight when we lived in Glasgow because the apartment didn’t haveany electricity or a stove, and Morrie gave us a deal on the-“

“The peanut butter when we got the new IDs,” he finished forher with an uncertain tone of voice. “It was that or the canned sardines, butyou were worried about the smell.”

“Yeah. I promised you some strawberries if you’d eat afterthe second week.” She hadn’t gotten him them until Paris, but Abram had chokeddown the sandwiches per their agreement.

He’d been a good boy – at least back then.

“How?” Abram asked as he took a slight step forward andignored the ringing of his phone. “I thought… you told me….”

“I know,” she assured him as she bridged the distancebetween them. “I nearly died, and I’ll explain everything later, but we have togo now, Abram. Get in the car and I’ll tell you on the way.”

Instead of listening to her, he frowned. “Go? Mum… no, gowhere?” he asked as he shook his head. “Come with me to the dorms, you can tellme everything there.”

She’d been gone too long; he’d forgotten everything,forgotten that he needed to listen to her. “I’m getting you out of here,away from the Moriyamas,” she explained as she latched on to his right wrist –was he wearing something beneath the sleeves of his shirt?

“But it’s fine with the Moriyamas,” he dared to argue. “Youneed to come with me and meet Andrew, sit down and-“

Angered with the way that he didn’t listen to her, that hedared to talk back when she’d come all this way to save him, Mary lashed out andslapped her son across the face with all her strength. “Abram, get in thedamn car,” she snapped as he went still. “I’m not going to argue with you.”

His eyes wide once more, he dared to shake his head. “Mum,I’m not going anywhere, this is my-“

She slapped him again, not once but twice. “Get in the damncar! This is for your own good!” As a startled cry of pain slipped past hislips, she grabbed onto his hair (that awful color) and yanked it hard as shestepped backwards. “We’re leaving!”

“No! Let go!” He lashed out with his arms, brought them upand out, and Mary found herself surprised both with him fighting back and withthe strength he possessed – he wasn’t a young teenager anymore but a strongyoung man who was able to knock her hands free even if he lost some hair andgained a scratch along his right cheek in the process. While she stumbledbackwards, he gave her one last (hurt) look then took off running.

“Abram!” she called out as she leaned against the side ofthe car to regain her balance. “Come back here!” However, the boy had alwaysbeen fast and dashed across the green rather than near the road, effectivelypreventing her from following in the car.

Mary slammed her aching right hand onto the hood of the caras she watched Abram vanish, furious at the boy for defying her and herself formessing things up so badly.

*******

Andrew ran his right hand over the now cold, empty side ofthe bed and swallowed a sigh; his idiot just couldn’t stay in bed on a Saturdaymorning, could he? Especially with the start of practice, when they had to getup early during the rest of the week and head off to the stadium to work out.

Andrew didn’t even want to think about when classes beganagain, when they had to be up too damn early.

That time he didn’t hold back the sigh as he sat up in thetoo-empty bed and glared across the room at a snoring, oblivious Kevin, thereason they were still on campus and not back at Columbia; the other Exyaddict should be waking up soon to go join his father and spend the day tweakinggame plans based on the last few practice sessions with the newbies (orsomething like that, Andrew hadn’t paid much attention once Kevin startedbabbling).

Hmm, there was the possibility of drenching the pain in theass with ice water if he didn’t wake up in time….

Somewhat appeased with ruining someone else’s day, Andrewhad just gotten out of bed when his phone rang; he was about to ignore it whenhe recognized Stuart’s ringtone and realized that the British bastard had tohave a good reason for calling him so early – that and Neil wasn’t insight.

Never a good sign.

“What?” he growled as he answered the call while he bent overto grab the pair of jeans he’d left on the floor the night before as a badfeeling settled in his chest.

“Is Nathaniel there?” When Andrew scoffed at the question,Stuart cursed in a fervent manner. “Fuck, you need to find him! Hedidn’t answer his phone!”

“What’s going on?” Andrew demanded to know as he yanked onthe jeans, half-hopping over to dresser where he kept his keys. “Is it one ofhis father’s people?”

“No, it’s more fucked-up than that. Mary’s alive.”

For a moment, Andrew thought that he was still asleep andhaving one hell of a messed-up dream – then he stubbed his toe against thedresser while Kevin let out a mumbled complaint before he rolled over to buryhis face in the damn fox plushie. “Mary? How the- never mind, I’ll find Neiland then you explain what the hell is going on.” As long as his loverhad his phone on him – and he better have the damn thing with him – thenAndrew would find him.

“I’m on my way, be there in a few hours. Be careful,” Stuartsaid in a rush before he hung up.

Andrew sent a hasty text to Renee as he shoved his feet intohis sneakers then was out the door, busy pulling up the tracker app on his phone.To his immense relief, it showed Neil moving at a decent pace (but not toofast, so hopefully running and not bundled up in the trunk of a car) across thewest end of campus.

By the time that Andrew was in the Maserati and out on themain street, Neil more or less had gone still – at Foxes’ Donuts. His attentiondivided between the road ahead and his phone, Andrew reached the building inunder five minutes, and somehow didn’t cause an accident on the way (somehow).

Due to the lack of students on campus that early in thesummer, he didn’t have a problem finding a parking space at the popular eateryfor once, and was out of the car barely after it stopped. He garnished a coupleof odd looks as he entered, probably for the way he yanked the door open or thefact that he hadn’t bothered to brush his hair, but all he cared about was thefigure in the hooded orange t-shirt sitting hunched over the table in the farcorner.

After quickly checking the donut and coffee shop for signsof anyone who matched Mary’s description (small, middle-aged woman), he stalkedover to Neil, who seemed to be staring into a cup of black coffee with a box ofdonuts and his phone on the table. “Where is she?” Andrew asked as he sat down– and felt a rush of rage overwhelm him when his boyfriend looked up.

Neil’s handsome face was swollen, bruised and scratched,reddened and purpled in such a way that Andrew knew it was only going to getworse in the next half an hour or so. His lower lip was puffy (but not splitfor once), as was his left eye, and a slightly scabbed over scratch ran downhis right cheek.

“I got you donuts,” Neil mumbled with a slight smile, theexpression strained and his eyes glazed as if he wasn’t quite all there at themoment.

“I’m going to kill her,” Andrew declared in German,furious that the woman who’d abused Neil for so many years instead ofprotecting him, who’d let him fend for himself with murderers hot on his trail,had hurt him yet again. “Where is she?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.” Neil went to rub at his faceand stopped just in time. “I ran and… I want to go home,” he told Andrewin a plaintive voice as he pushed the coffee away. “Can we just go home?”

Despite his anger, something pulsed warm and turgid insideof Andrew’s chest to hear Neil say those words. “Why do you think I’m here,idiot? Let’s go.” He grabbed the donuts then, carefully in case there were anyhidden injuries, gripped Neil by the right elbow to help him stand up.

He glared at anyone who glanced Neil’s way as they left, andwas mindful to check around them for signs of Mary (or anyone he thought mightbe her). “You’ll have to settle for the Tower,” he told his boyfriend as hehelped Neil into the passenger seat of the Maserati; it looked as if Neil hadjust been slapped around, judging from the way he moved – that and a bad caseof shock.

“That’s fine,” Neil murmured as he curled up in the seat asif cold.

Oh yes, definitely a case of shock, which Andrew supposedwas understandable when one’s mother returned from the dead like that. Evenhe’d be a bit nonplussed over Tilda showing up alive – and then look forward tobeing able to kill her again, but Neil had actually cared for the abusive bitchwho’d given birth to him.

For a moment, Andrew almost headed for the highway insteadof back to the dorms, but it would be safest for Neil to be surrounded byothers (even if they were the upperclassmen) than the two of them alone at thehouse in Columbia.

Renee, dressed in PSU sweats and her hair pulled back in amessy bun, was waiting for them at the front of the building when Andrew pulledin to the Fox Tower’s parking lot. Something dark flashed through her eyes whenshe caught sight of Neil, but all she did was give him a reassuring smile andhold the door open for the two of them (then ensured that it closed securely behindthem).

“I’ll be in my room when you’re ready to talk,” she informedAndrew when they reached the third floor. “Whatever you need, I’m here foryou.”

“Stuart’s on his way,” he let her know, and noticed how Neiltwitched at that. “We’re about to have a Hatford family reunion.”

“Hmm, okay. I’ll bake some scones.” Renee gave him a curiouslook but otherwise didn’t push for more of an explanation then, content to waituntil Neil was ready to talk.

Once back in their room (with Kevin still asleep), Andrewtugged Neil into the kitchen, where he put on a pot of coffee and thenmicrowaved a mug of water so he could make some tea. Once a bag was added to itto steep, he turned to his boyfriend with his hands held up.

Neil gave a slight nod and remained still while Andrewgently touched his face to examine the damage done to it, then sighed whenAndrew fetched a bag of frozen peas and tossed it to him. “Uhm….”

“Use it, see if it helps with that ugly face of yours,”Andrew drawled, furious once again that someone had hurt his boyfriend. “Andtell me what the hell happened.”

“Stuart called you,” Neil guessed as he held the bag againstthe left side of his face.

“A prize for you.” Andrew reached out to gently comb hisfingers through Neil’s tousled hair and frowned when that provoked a wince, yetNeil lightly grabbed his wrist to keep him from pulling his hand away so hedidn’t stop. “Keep talking.”

Neil took in a deep breath as if to steady himself andslumped toward Andrew, who allowed his boyfriend to lean against him, to seekthat bit of comfort. “I realized during my run that someone was following meand thought it might be one of Ichirou’s people, so I made sure to head towardthe more populated area of campus.” That explained why Neil had been close tothe donut shop. “Then she got out of the car and I….” Neil’s breath caught inhis throat and he gave a slight shake of his head. “I remember that night soclearly, her coughing up blood, how bad she looked, the pain in her voice… if Ithought for one moment she could survive, I wouldn’t have left her.”

“You were a kid and in bad shape yourself,” Andrew remindedhim as he thought about the scrawny, battered kid dropped off at Wayward Burns.“And you were used to doing what she told you, which was to run. Did she sayanything?”

“No, just that she would explain things later.” Neil tossedthe bag aside as he turned to face Andrew. “She told me to go with her, toleave.” He shuddered as he wrapped his arms around Andrew’s waist. “When I toldher ‘no’, she started hitting me.”

“I’m going to kill her,” Andrew repeated as he hugged Neilclose to him, furious at Mary for daring to hurt her son like that but alsohimself for not being there to protect his boyfriend. “She’s never going totouch you again.”

“Drew….” Neil pulled away just enough to frown at him. “Idon’t-“

“No,” Andrew insisted as he lightly cupped Neil’s leftcheek. “Somehow she doesn’t die and the first thing she does upon seeing you isto try to drag you away from the life you fought for and then beat you? Tell methat she doesn’t know it’ll be a death sentence for you if you run,” he argued.“Not if Stuart knew to warn us. She had to call him first, and he would havewarned her about your deal with Ichirou.”

Neil shivered, most likely at the thought of how theMoriyama lord would react at the news of him breaking his word – it wouldn’tjust be Neil paying the price in the end, but Andrew and Stuart and probablyothers. “I won’t run,” Neil swore as his arms tightened around Andrew. “Everythingthat matters to me is here.” His expression was a mixture of pain and confusionbefore he tucked his bruised face into the crook of Andrew’s neck. “Why wouldshe do that to me? I was so happy to see her, and then she wouldn’t listen tome.”

Because she was an abusive bitch. Because she didn’t see herson as someone who deserved to be treated with the utmost care and respect, butas a possession. Because it had never been about Neil (Nathaniel), but Mary.

However, all Andrew did was give his lover a kiss on theforehead then lightly push him away, hand the bag of peas over with a sternlook before he removed the tea bag and fixed a mug of coffee for himself. Afterhe picked up both mugs with one hand, he latched on to the front of Neil’s shirtthen tugged his idiot toward the bedroom. “Come on.”

Neil followed without a word, his feet shuffling along thefloor in a sure sign that he was worn out with shock. Once near their bed,Andrew set the mugs down on the nightstand then helped his boyfriend remove hisshorts before shedding his own pants and pulling back the mussed bedding soNeil could all but fall down onto the soft surface. “Drink it,” Andrew told himas he handed over the tea, mindful to ensure that Neil could hold the mug,before he crawled onto the bed himself.

Neil tucked into his left side once he was settled, and theydrank in silence while he texted Stuart to let the man know that his nephew wasmostly all right but Mary was dead as soon as Andrew found her. When Stuarttexted back for him to calm the fuck down, Andrew held out his phone to take apicture of Neil’s face and sent it to the bastard.

It was a few minutes before Stuart responded with themessage that he’d deal with his sister and for Andrew to watch over Neil. When Andrewtold him he better deal with the bitch by shoving a knife in her throat, themessage was marked ‘undelivered’, as if the man had turned off his phone.

“Don’t antagonize my uncle,” Neil mumbled as he rested hishead against Andrew’s shoulder, the empty mug held between his hands.

“Don’t take away my fun,” Andrew chided before he slurpedhis coffee. “Now go to sleep.”

“Bossy,” Neil complained, yet he set the mug aside and slowlystretched out on the bed with his right arm draped over Andrew’s left leg as ifthe contact reassured him; Andrew stroked his fingers along his boyfriend’sbony hand and watched Neil fall asleep, exhausted from the morning’s shock.

Once the coffee was gone, he debated throwing the empty mugat a loudly snoring Kevin, but figured the asshole would make too much of afuss and wake Neil up so he took to playing on his phone instead.

Half an hour later, Kevin finally came awake with ahalf-snore, half-snuffle and sat up with his arms still wrapped around the foxplushie. His hair stuck up in all directions while he blinked several times,gaze distant as if still caught in a dream, and then he glanced at his alarmclock. “Shit!” He went to get up and almost fell out of the bed. “An-Andrew!Why didn’t-“ Kevin let out a yelp as a knife flew past him. “What!”

“Be quiet,” Andrew hissed as Neil stirred. “Go back tosleep,” he murmured as he stroked his fingers along his lover’s hair while heslowly climbed off the bed. “It’s all right.”

Something incoherent was mumbled before Neil curled into asmaller ball beneath the blankets; Kevin managed to gain his feet and approachedthe bed, his green eyes widening with surprise when he caught sight of Neil’sface. “Wha-ah, right,” he finished with a whisper when Andrew went for a knife.“Okay.”

Andrew jerked his head toward the door as he fetched a pairof sweatpants to wear; after grabbing some pants of his own, Kevin followed.

They took turns using the bathroom (Andrew found someamusement in reaching it first and making Kevin wait), and both had some coffeewhile Andrew started on the donuts. “What happened to Neil?” Kevin asked aftera displeased look at Andrew’s belated breakfast, busy texting on his phone(probably Wymack to let him know he was running late).

“Had a run-in with a zombie,”Andrew explained after he finished a chocolate-chocolate glazed donut. WhenKevin gave him a pained look for that, he shrugged and grabbed a cream-filleddonut. “Unfortunately, it seems his mother’s not dead after all. It’s atemporary situation, though.” As in it would be corrected as soon as he foundthe bitch.

Coffee splashed onto the floor asKevin jerked forward at the news. “What? Mary Wesninski’s alive?”

“For now,” Andrew clarifiedas he broke off a piece of the donut.

“But-“ Kevin’s hands shook as heset the mug on the counter, his expression taking on an interesting shade ofash as he wrapped his arms around his chest as if he was cold. “But she’salive! He has his mother back,” he argued in an oddly wistful tone.

“No, he doesn’t,” Andrew insistedwith a slight frown. “He has an abusive, manipulative bitch trying to worm herway back in his life and take him away from here.” He paused to throw the pieceof pastry into his mouth while Kevin’s mouth gaped open. “That means you loseyour precious striker and the Foxes’ their new vice-captain. Do you want that?”

“No,” Kevin responded in a quietvoice. “But what does Neil want?”

“He wants to stay here.” Andrewput the odd flutter in his chest down to a sudden sugar rush. “Not be draggedaway by someone who treats him like shit for daring to think for himself.”

Kevin winced upon hearing that andseemed to remember that he’d spilled coffee all over the floor since he reachedover to grab some paper towels. “She did that to him? Really?”

“Yes.” Which was why her ‘alive’status would soon be revoked. “I suggest you have your usual disgusting deadchicken embryo shake and then toddle off to Daddy’s to spend the day thinkingup new ways to annoy us for the season.” It would be best if Kevin was out ofthe way and under Wymack’s supervision while Andrew and Renee (and he supposedStuart) handled Mary.

“Why Neil puts up with you, I don’tfucking know,” Kevin muttered as he threw the coffee-soaked towels away.

“Because I’m a keeper,” Andrewinsisted as he debated which donut to eat next.

Kevin’s next words were mutteredin Japanese, which was the only reason he didn’t get a half-empty mug of coffeethrown at him – that and he listened to Andrew and fixed himself a nauseatingbreakfast shake before stomping off to get ready for the day.

Once Kevin was gone (and most ofthe donuts as well), Andrew returned to the bedroom and lay down next to hisboyfriend, who stirred a little at first but settled once Andrew whispered hisname and gave a gentle squeeze to the back of his neck. Neil tucked against hischest and phone beneath the pillow, Andrew looked forward to a short nap.

He was dreaming about him and Neilback in Racine, about the small apartment and the longing which hadfilled him (had filled Aidan) when he’d believed Neil to forever be out of reachwhen the sound of Neil’s phone ringing jolted him awake; he barely avoidedNeil’s head smacking him in the chin as his boyfriend fumbled for the devicewhile he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Ah, Stuart?” Neil said, his voicestill thick with sleep; his face appeared even worse than earlier, now that thebruises had time to properly ‘develop’. “Okay, do you need… okay. I’ll- okay.”Now he took to frowning. “Someone will let you in.”

“I’ll send Renee down to fetch the limey prick,” Andrewoffered as he fetched his own phone, only to do some frowning of his own whenhe noticed the texts from her. “Let your uncle know that there’s been an old Forddriving around the campus.”

“Yeah, that’s what she was driving. Ow.” Neil glared at him,probably for the jab in his left side. “What?”

“You couldn’t mention that earlier?”

“You didn’t ask,” the idiot mumbled before he returned hisattention to his phone. “I know to be careful. Why do you want to talk to him?I can take care of myself! Oh fine, treat me like a child,” Neil spat before hetossed the phone to Andrew, who just managed to not say anything rightthen.

“Keep him away from Mary,” Stuart ordered before Andrew couldsay anything. “And no killing her.”

“Do you want to see what he looks like now?” Andrew ignoredthe middle finger Neil directed his way. “I’m not giving her another chance tohurt him.”

“She’s not going to get it,” Stuart promised. “I’ll deal withher, so you do your damn job and keep Nathaniel safe.”

“Hmm, maybe I’ll tie him up in bed, that’ll keep him out ofthe way,” Andrew drawled he batted Neil’s hand aside. “So much fun for me.”

“I will kill you both,” his boyfriend gritted out whileStuart made that oh-so-amusing grinding sound.

“Just so you know, I don’t give a shit if she kills you,you damn runt,” the prick managed to spit out after a couple of seconds. “Infact, it’ll make my day.”

“That’s it, you’re no longer invited to the wedding,” Andrewtaunted before he hung up, right as Stuart began a garbled stream of something.Probably some comments on how wonderful Andrew was and how he so looked forwardto them officially being family.

“I hate you, I really hate you,” Neil mumbled as he gave upon trying to take back his phone and rested his forehead on Andrew’s left shoulderinstead. “Do you have any idea how difficult he’s going to be to deal with fromnow on? If I hear him bring up the ‘C’ word again, I’m going to tell Kevin thatyou offered to train with the newbies, I swear it.”

Andrew gave a light tug to Neil’s still tangled hair at boththreats before he rubbed his lover’s nape. “Stuart adores me.” The man hadn’t threatenedto kill him in months.

Neil made a gurgling sound in the back of his throat whilehe gripped Andrew’s t-shirt between his hands. “Did you hit your head while Iwas asleep?” He leaned back enough to look up at Andrew, his gaze intentdespite his slightly swollen left eye. “Do I need to call Abby and have hercheck you out?”

“Funny.” He leaned in for a quick kiss then pushed Neilaway. “Put on some clothes, we’re about to have company.”

While his grumbling idiot went off to the bathroom, Andrew textedRenee to let her know that Stuart would be there soon, and frowned at themessage that she’d warned the Foxes to ‘watch themselves’ because of Mary; thelast thing he needed was a bunch of busybodies butting in because they wereworried about their ‘darling’ Neil.

Case in point – the rather gibberish text from Nicky whichseemed to be a declaration of help, if he needed any, and Boyd’s offer of touse his truck for ‘disposal’.

He’d just pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a shirt whenthere was knock on the front door; surprised that Stuart had gotten there soquickly, Andrew left the bedroom, quick to shove Neil behind him when his idiotboyfriend attempted to answer the door.

“What? You’re paranoid,” Neil said with a roll of his eyeswhen Andrew gave him a flat look for his lack of survival skills.

“And you invite people to kill you on a regular basis, so stayback,” Andrew reminded him.

“Whatever.” Neil followed, at least dressed in thesweatpants he’d taken with him into the bathroom, an eager expression on hisbruised face as if he was happy to see Stuart for some reason. Andrew bracedhimself for some disgusting fussing from the British man over his nephew andthen to be bitched at because of what Mary had done before he opened the door…and found a strange woman with dark hair and a surly expression out in thehallway with a blank-faced Renee all but pressed against her back.

Between the dark gleam which spoke of ‘Natalie’ in Renee’seyes and Neil’s sharp inhale (that and the way the petite woman glaredfigurative daggers at him), Andrew went out on the limb as he stepped aside(with Neil all but shoved against the wall). “Is it my birthday already? Tothink all I got you was that ‘how to leave a cult’ book; I’ll have to up mygame next time, especially if you help me bury her body since a certain someonebitches so much about a little honest work.”

While Neil choked out his name, Renee gave Mary a pushforward (knife in the small of the back? Andrew so approved, especially if itwas buried in her kidney). “She stole Sheena’s ID when her and Jack ran out forbrunch,” Renee explained. “When the two came back complaining, I checked theTower and found her sneaking around.”

“See, I would have made it a quick death if you’d killed thosetwo,” Andrew said as he pushed Neil behind him. “Stay the fuck away from her,”he told his boyfriend in German. “I’ll snap her neck and lock you in thebathroom for the next month’s practices if you get within reach of her.”

“Uhm… she knows that language,” Neil reminded him as heslumped against the wall, his attention torn between Andrew and his mother,hands wrapped around his waist as if to keep himself from reaching foranything; Andrew grabbed his right one and tugged it toward the hem of his t-shirt,which earned him a grateful smile when Neil latched on to it for reassurance.

Meanwhile, Mary made an abortive motion as if she attemptedto lunge forward, only to be stopped by Renee. “I’ll rip out your heart with mybare hands if you touch him,” she threatened with a baleful glare beforelooking at Neil, her British accent the same as the times when Neil got drunkor was alone with Andrew. “And really, Abram? You let this wanker treat youlike that? I thought I raised you better.”

Neil scowled at his mother while he tugged Andrew closer. “Andrew’sconcerned about me, considering within five minutes of seeing you again, I looklike this,” he motioned at his face with his left hand. “You don’t know him atall, what he’s done for me.”

“He’s a controlling-“

“No.” Neil didn’t give Mary a chance to spew herhatred, nor did Renee, judging from the small grunt of pain which emanated fromthe crazy bitch a moment later. “You haven’t been around the last few years, hehas, and he’s largely the reason I’m still alive,” Neil let her know whileAndrew pondered where would be the best place to kill the bitch – in thebasement or offsite somewhere? “He’s fought for me, killed for me, even, and helistens to me. We’re equals.”

“He only makes you think you’re equals,” Mary argued,proving the whole ‘not listening thing’ to everyone in the room. “I know histype, know how he’ll make you think he’s there for you when all he’s doing istricking you into- I will rip your heart out too, you fucking slag,” shesnarled when it seemed that a certain good Christian girl had run out ofpatience.

“I told you Andrew isn’t like that, and so has your son.Just because it’s not what you want to hear, doesn’t make it untrue,” Reneesaid with a hint of exasperation. “Just accept that Neil is happy here withsomeone who loves and respects him.”

“She’s never going to do that,” Andrew stated as he slippeda knife free from his left armband. “She fucked up her life and did her best toruin Neil’s, she’s not going to accept that he managed to get it on track onceshe was out of the way.”

“Andrew,” Neil whispered with a wince, but he didn’t arguewith the statement. “Mum, I’m so happy that you’re alive, but you can’t comehere, threaten Andrew and my friends, and expect me to run away with you when I’vea life here.”

“You shouldn’t be here, you never should have stoppedrunning, never should have picked up a damn Exy racquet again,” Mary mutteredas she glared at her son. “Was it his idea?”

“Guilty as charged,” Andrew drawled as he flipped the knifeinto the air. “Running wasn’t doing him any good, and for some reason, we didn’tknow about the whole ‘sold to the Moriyamas to play their stupid game’ thing sowhy not join the local Exy team, hmm?” He did some glaring of his own when Marytwitched a little at the accusation. “Don’t go trying to cast blame on Neil orme, not when so much trouble could have been avoided if you’d just have toldhim why the hell you were on the run.” Well, other than the fact that she’d marrieda psychotic bastard.

“I told him not to play Exy,” Mary muttered. “Thatshould have been good enough.”

“You also told him you were dying, so your word is obviouslyshit,” Andrew shot back.

“I will take so much pleasure in shooting you,” Mary grittedout, which prompted a cold smile from Andrew. “Abram, you need to-“

Whatever ultimatum she was about to pull, it was interruptedby a knock on the door; Andrew swore if it was Nicky coming over because he wasbored or one of the newbies looking for Neil, he was going to start on thestabbing someone sooner than expected.

It was Stuart; Andrew nearly went through with the wholestabbing thing after all, but the bastard slipped into the dorm room during theminor internal debate and so Andrew missed that important stabbing window.

“Uncle Stuart!” Neil called out while the man took toswearing beneath his breath. “Did someone let you in?”

Stuart waved what looked to be a generic ID in his left handbefore he shoved it into the pocket of his grey sports coat, which he wore overa pair of jeans and a white dress shirt. “I, ah, managed something, and fuckme, Mary.” He gawked at his sister while she gazed back at him. “It’sreally you.”

“It’s about time you showed up, Stu. Deal with this uppityslag while I tend to Minyard, will you?” Mary snapped while Andrew went back toNeil’s side.

Stuart cast an apologetic look Renee’s way, who gave him oneof her blissful smiles in return. “Walker, would you mind backing off a little?”

“That’s not what I-“

“Of course,” Renee said over Mary’s complaints, quick toslide the knife up the sleeve of her PSU sweatshirt as she stepped away. “Ihave her gun.”

“I’ll take that before we leave.” Stuart was quick to yankMary, who’d turned as if to fight with Renee for the weapon, toward him. “Calmthe hell down, will you?”

“I’m gonna beat some manners into this daft bitch,” Marysnarled as she swiped at a faintly smiling Renee.

“No, you’re not – I told you that Neil had people watchingover him, and she’s one of them. Now, unless you truly do want to be dead, calmthe hell down,” Stuart gritted out as he shoved his sister away. “And tell mewhy you thought it was a good idea to show up here, smack the shit out of yourown child and attempt to kidnap him.”

Neil shifted about as if uncomfortable at seeing his motherput on the spot like that, but Andrew grasped his right hand while he shook hishead. “That was truth, right now,” he said in his limited Russian.

“I know,” Neil agreed, his expression a bit guiltyyet he sidled closer to Andrew as he entwined their fingers together.

“I came here to save him,” Mary said, her voice tight withanger. “To take him away so the Moriyamas can’t hurt him.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Stuart started, a pained expression onhis face. “He’s perfectly fine here. You’re gonna get him killed if you takehim away.”

“Yeah, Mum,” Neil called out. “I made a deal with the mainbranch years ago, everything’s settled now. As long as I play Exy for a decentteam and they make money from it, they leave me alone.” A bit of asimplification, but that was all Mary really needed to know.

Mary whirled around to face Neil and would have come closerif not for the knife Andrew waved in her direction. “You made a deal with them?With a bunch of mobsters? I didn’t want that for you, Abram, I wanted-“

“What?” Neil asked, his voice harsh and expressioncold. “For me to keep running until Dad’s people found me and killed me?” Sheflinched at that but didn’t look away. “Until one of Tetsuji’s people trackedme down and dragged me back to Edgar Allan?” He tugged at the collar of the t-shirthe wore to expose more of the damn tattoo on the left side of his neck andshoulder. “I spent two weeks there and it was enough of a hell to last alifetime, thanks, I can’t imagine what it would like to be there for years.Only the fact that I belonged to the main branch and not the side one ensuredthat I walked out of there in the end.” His fingers clenched around Andrew’shand as he spoke, as he no doubt remembered all the things Riko had done to himover that one Christmas break. “This might not be the life you wanted for me,but it’s the one I chose for myself and I’m happy. I don’t give a damn if youdon’t like it, and I’m not letting you or anyone else take it away from me.”

“And I didn’t nearly die so you could so be some Moriyamaproperty,” Mary argued, as if she hadn’t listened to her son at all. “I didn’tgive up-“

“Shut up,” Andrew said as he tugged Neil closer, morebehind him since the woman had a disturbing gleam in her light brown eyes(contacts) which he’d seen too many times in Riko’s to want Neil to be nearsuch mental instability. “Neil’s no longer paying for your poor life choices.He told you ‘no’, now respect it and fuck off.”

“He’s my son, you shitty bastard,” Mary growled as her handsclenched into fists and Stuart’s right hand inched toward the front of hiscoat.

“Big deal,” Andrew said with all the scorn he felt for thewoman. “Just because you gave birth to him doesn’t mean you can control himforever, especially now that he’s an adult. It certainly doesn’t mean you canbeat the shit out of him. You fucked up when you came here making ultimatumsand raised your hand to him, so go away.” Neil shifted about but didn’targue, didn’t plead for his mother to stay, while Renee focused her attentionon Mary as if waiting to see if she would need to intervene in some manner.

Before Mary could say anything else, Stuart shoved his waybetween the two of them. “As much fun as it is to see the two of you go at eachother, I’ve a feeling this will just drag on all day and I don’t have the time.”

“So shoot the two of them and let’s go,” Mary muttered asshe folded her arms over her chest.

“No,” Stuart gritted out through clenched teeth as hegave his sister one hell of an annoyed look. “Shut up and listen for once inyour damn life, Mary,” he snapped, much to the woman’s obvious surprise. “Ikeep telling you, take Nathaniel away and it’ll only fuck things up for all ofus because Ichirou Moriyama will see it as a challenge to his authority. He won’tstop until the both of you are found and killed in a very messy manner to senda message to everyone, and he won’t stop with the two of you as he makes sure thatmessage is heard loud and clear.” Stuart motioned to himself, Andrew and Renee.

“And yet you work for the man,” Mary sneered, though Andrewthought it lacked some of her usual vigor.

“Yeah, because it allowed the family a foothold in theStates and it finally allowed us a shot at your bastard husband,” Stuart rubbedin her face without remorse. “While you in that coma and then down in Mexico, ableto live your life without remembering all this shite, your family had to dealwith it.” He motioned to himself again then Neil. “We did the best we couldwith what options we had, and now I’m not going to let you fuck things upbecause you don’t like how that turned up, even if you are my sister.”

“So what, you’re gonna take me somewhere and put a bullet inmy head? You could do that to me?” Mary taunted her brother with growingdesperation. “Abram, you going to let him do that to your mother?” Her defiancefaltered when it was quiet in the room for several seconds. “Both of you arebastards.”

“Stuart didn’t say he was going to shoot you, Mum,” Neilpointed out with a palpable weariness. “And I love you… but I can’t let youhurt Andrew and the others. Go with Uncle Stuart,” he pleaded.

“I’m not going to shoot you,” Stuart assured his sister ashe rubbed the back of his neck, just as worn down as Neil by arguing with thewoman. “At least, not in the head, so don’t try my patience anymore than youalready have,” he warned her. “We’re going to leave here before you cause anymore trouble and head back home. Will wants to see you.”

Mary twitched at that as if not pleased with the thought offacing her big brother. “Do I have any say in this?”

Something cold settled on Stuart’s face. “After you hurt Nathaniel?No, not really. I love you, Mary, and I’m glad you’re alive, but right now I’mhalf-tempted to leave you with Andrew, which might solve a good bit of problemsin the end. But you are my sister so here’s your chance – come with me now, nomore fighting.”

“He’s just a kid,” Mary said with the sneer back on her faceas she glanced at Andrew. “I can handle him and the slag, now that I’m preparedfor them.”

“No, you can’t. You honestly think I’d leave familyunprotected, after everything that’s happened with you and that prick,Wesninski?” Something in Stuart’s voice or expression made Mary’s certaintycrumble after a couple of seconds.

Still, she tried one more time; she turned toward Neil, herexpression stern. “I came back for you, boy. You’re going to let him take meaway after everything I did for you?”

Neil’s fingers tightened around Andrew’s once more as his bruisedface grew blank. “I think it’s best that you go, Mum. I know you tried to lookout for me,” both of them ignored Andrew’s derisive snort, “but I’m good now.Let Uncle Will help you out.”

Something almost soft started to come over Mary’s face for amoment, and then it hardened. “Don’t come crying to me when this one breaksyour heart,” she told Neil.

“It won’t happen,” Neil assured her. “Be safe, Mum. Safe andhappy.”

“You’re a fool, Abram.” Mary turned her back toward Neil andtold Stuart that she was ready to leave, that there wasn’t anything holding herthere anymore.

Stuart gave his sister a furious look before he came over togive Neil a quick hug. “I’ll visit when I’m back,” he promised his nephew. “Takecare until then.” While a somber Neil nodded, he gave Andrew a stern look. “Watchover him.”

“Go away,” Andrew said while he made a shooing motion withhis right hand, the knife still held in it. “You’re an asshole, you won’t evenlet me stab her once.”

“Such a little shit,” Stuart muttered as he held up twofingers in a rude gesture before he finally left with Mary (after retrievingthe gun from a quiet Renee). Once the door was closed behind them, Renee cameover to give Neil a sympathetic rub on the back.

“I’m sorry, that had to be difficult,” she soothed.

“I just… I wish she would have listened to me,” Neil said asAndrew let go of his hand so he could put the knife away then gently grasp hisboyfriend’s nape. “What’s the point of getting her back when she doesn’t even seeme? I’m just… just an object to her?”

There were times when Andrew grew frustrated with how Neilexcused the abuse his mother had inflicted upon him over the years, how he overlookedthe fact that she’d waited too long to leave his abusive, psychotic father. Itwasn’t that Neil pretended none of it had ever happened or that everything hadbeen fine, it was just that compared to the other monsters in his life (Nathan,Lola, Riko)… Mary had been the one who’d tried to help him in her own fucked-upway, had hurt him the least (but still hurt him).

Had seemed to give up her life for him.

So Neil had… glossed over, in a way, the abuse he’d sufferedat her hands because she hadn’t wanted him dead (had helped keep him alive),hadn’t sold him to another person, hadn’t taken sadistic pleasure in hurtinghim. However, Andrew thought that his lover might not be so willing to defendthe woman after today.

“I don’t know her, but I think the problem is she feels sheknows what’s best for you and is determined to see it through. Her intentionsare good… but she’s sadly misinformed,” Renee offered with a kind smile. “Itdoesn’t make what she’s doing right, though. Hopefully your uncles can help herunderstand things better so you can start anew one day.”

“Maybe, but my mother’s really stubborn. I think in her mindshe gave up so much for me yet I broke her rules.” Neil’s expression becamemulish as he gazed at Andrew. “I don’t care if she feels it’s wrong, I’m happynow which is all that matters. Maybe it’s best if she just finds her own life now,too. At least I know she’s alive out there somewhere and isn’t dead because ofme.”

“Especially if she thinks it’s acceptable to smack youaround whenever she wants. I really will kill her if she touches you again,”Andrew promised, unwilling to allow anyone to hurt his lover.

Neil winced at that statement but didn’t argue, while Reneesmiled. “I did make some scones, how about I bring them over later?” When theyboth nodded, her smile deepened. “Good. I’ll see you in a little bit.” Shewaved to them before leaving.

“So much for a nice, quiet weekend,” Neil groaned as he wentto sit down on the couch; he raised his hands to his face before he rememberedwhy that wasn’t a good idea.

“Well, I highly doubt anyone else is going to come back fromthe dead in the next forty-eight hours, so we should be good on that front,”Andrew drawled as he went to sit down next to his lover, oddly drained for somereason; it might be good to eat something soon.

Neil’s lips twitched for a couple of seconds before hesmiled. “I’ll laugh if you managed to jinx us right now, you know.” Then the expressionfaded away as he tilted his head back to rest on the back of the couch. “Excepteveryone we know who’s dead are basically psychotic assholes so….”

Andrew thought about that while he tugged on the end of hisleft armband. “Ah… Seth?”

His boyfriend always looked cute when he wrinkled his noselike that. “Okay, not so much psychotic but very much an asshole, I’ll give youthat. You really want him to come back?”

“Hell no.”

“I thought not. One exception to the rule, and not a pleasantone at that.”

“I don’t know, might be fun to kill Riko again,” Andrewmused. “Always thought his death was a bit too quick.” There should have beenmore broken bones and flayed skin involved, in his opinion.

“Oh sure, you get to have all the fun and I’m stuck diggingthe grave, I’m willing to bet,” Neil whined as he entwined their fingerstogether, a sure sign that he was recovering from the whole ‘Mary’ ordeal.

“Is it me or are you becoming lazier the older you get?”Andrew asked as he rubbed his thumb along Neil’s hand.

“Says the guy who skips out on the grave digging,” Neilgrumbled while he slumped down enough to rest his head against Andrew’sshoulder.

“Just have one of the newbies do it, vice-captain. Tell ‘emit’s a cardio exercise or something.”

“Hmm.” Neil grew contemplative at the suggestion. “Hmm, thathas possibilities.”

One problem solved for the time being, Andrew enjoyed thequiet moment while it lasted (before Aaron and Nicky barged in to make surethat everything was okay, or the upperclassmen pestered them to see Neil, or something).He could only be so lucky to have another shot at Riko, but at least there wasa plan in place if it happened.

Until then, enjoy the time alone with Neil, who was going tobuy him some take-out for making up for the whole ‘no stabbing’ thing.

Or maybe not, as there was a knock on the door.

*******

[wulfrann]

Andreil Contemporary Dance AU Because I Can

I don't know what this is. Call it a bullet-point fic, a ficlet, a one-shot, but the point is - the thought of a Contemporary Dance AU wouldn't leave my mind, so I wrote it down and here you go.

It's messy and barely edited and very self-indulging, but maybe this can be my Happy New Year contribution to the fandom.

- Palmetto's Foxes is a dance school known as an eclectic, unsynchronized, bastard group that mixes various types of dancing into contemporary with various levels of success. Kevin is appalled at first and convinced that they need to stick to one genre, but then he realizes that it could actually work, maybe, as long as they reinforce the contemporary elements to make it a real basis for all the other stuff that they add to it. Also they need to work on their group dancing, because solo/duet stuff is great but they're a team too so they need to start acting like it.

*

- Dan knows how to pole dance. She does it once during a solo performance and it's the most majestic thing ever. Matt can't stop talking about it for months. (and no one can really blame him)

- Renee can breakdance. I will fight you on that.

- Allison used to do ballet at a high level when she was still living with her parents. It got her into a fucked up mindset that nearly broke her, but she's slowly learning to appreciate it again for what it is, and not the memories it is tied to. (Renee helps. with that. because I'm weak.)

- I feel like Nicky would know some ballroom dancing? He would have gotten into it in Germany with Erik because it is a Thing there to have ballroom dance classes when you can afford it (sources are my German teacher who's German). He's petrified with fear the first few times and only dances with girls (there are more of them than guys anyway), but after getting with Erik and starting to be at peace with himself they start practicing together. Nicky can't help but cry a little the first time, because this is real and Erik is real and he's dancing with a boy and that boy is smiling at him like nothing else around them matters, and it's all a little too much to take in. But he does, eventually.

*

- The Ravens are this super elite, very competitive dance club with. "disputable" methods. They do a lot of group dancing where everyone is doing exactly the same movement, with Riko as their only lead dancer. Kevin was his go-to partner for duets before he left. Then it was Jean, and then no one because he sucks.

- Riko broke Kevin's right foot, not hand. He has to adapt his dancing not to put too much weight or strain on it, which takes a lot to hide.

*

- When Jean joins the Trojans, he's completely unable to dance duets or any kind of non-group dancing. His feet are in the worst shape and he's got bruises all over.

- So Jeremy takes it upon himself to make Jean fall in love with dancing all over again and to Jeremy, that means reminding him that dancing can be fun, too. Which means Jeremy giving Jean improv dancing and ballroom dancing lessons in private, just the two of them.

- It works, of course.

- Except Jean doesn't fall in love with just dancing, and Jeremy gets caught in his own trap because a carefree Jean might actually be the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

*

- Neil mostly did ballet as a kid because that's what the Ravens have the children do (teaches discipline and all the basics, according to them, which isn't entirely false from my understanding).

- When he was running with Mary, he used to stare at any kind of dancing whenever he thought she wasn't looking. Not long after her death he's squatting in this house, right, and there's a small dance club two blocks away. Neil tries, he really tries not to give in - but it's a Monday night, or maybe it's a Tuesday, he hasn't been keeping track - he's out of food and hasn't slept in days, because the nightmares are worse than the frantic beating of his heart against his skull and the shaking, incontrollable, that makes any lock picking last minutes he can't afford. The sun is setting behind the suburban buildings as he walks past the dance club, and maybe the light catches on the picture window, maybe there's music filtering out the cracked-open door, or maybe Neil's feet are too heavy to keep going past the building and into the empty, cold house.

- Neil stops.

- He stops, and stares right through the window.

- He doesn't know what kind of dancing it is, doesn't remember anything about it except the focus, suddenly, the sense of purpose and here and this is what living looks like, and his heart in his chest. Beating.

- Neil picks his way into the house within seconds that night, and sleeps.

- In the morning he's gone.

- His mother would beat him up if she saw him taking dance lessons again. But his mother is dead, and dancing is the only thing driving Neil to make sure he isn't.

*

- When Wymack and Kevin show up after his contemporary dance class, Neil makes a run for it and gets punched in the stomach by a small blond guy, because of course Andrew Minyard came with.

- Both his parents' imprint in his flesh isn't enough to make Neil disappear this time.

*

- When Neil trains with Kevin at night they mostly do ballet, though Kevin makes sure that whatever they do doesn't interfere with regular training.

*

Andrew always dances alone, and Neil doesn't understand why.

His posture is good, and somehow melts into the movements without ever going soft. It's like watching a stream boil down the mountain's flank, except the stream is 5 feet tall and makes the mountain look pliable.

Every time he looks at him, Neil wonders what it must be like to dance with someone as steady and centered as Andrew. Wonders what it must be like to be centered.

Then he snaps out of it and pulls his mind back to practice.

*

"Why do you always dance alone?"

Andrew blows the smoke out of his mouth and studies Neil's face through the wisps.

"Why are you always in the back?"

"I asked first."

"And I asked second. Afraid you might trip?"

Neil crosses his arms. "I don't trip."

"So you're afraid to stand out."

It's not a question, so Neil doesn't answer. "Why do you only dance alone?"

Andrew takes another drag out of his cigarette, then lets it drop to the ground and steps on it.

"I don't do teamwork well," he says, and then goes back inside.

*

Kevin asks Neil to do a duet with him at some point during the regionals. They've been practicing together for a while now and although they clash a lot, Kevin and Wymack think there's potential there. Neil panics and says no. When Kevin starts pressing the matter, Andrew interrupts.

"Drop it, Kevin. Rabbits only know how to dance when they're running."

Kevin storms out, and Neil stares at Andrew with clenched teeth.

"I'm not running."

"Could have fooled me."

*

- Neil agrees to do the duet with Kevin, but only if they practice it during their night sessions for now.

- "If we can't make it work with the group, there's no point doing it."

- "Take it or leave it. We don't even know if we can sync together. If it works, we'll take it to the rest of the group."

- It's a disaster, of course. Neil has never done duet work since he was a child, and his approach to dancing clashes with Kevin's.

*

"I can't dance with him."

Neil and Andrew are on the rooftop, the smell of tobacco and ash floating up lazily to the stars hidden by the city lights. A red glow cuts out Andrew's features against the night, his silhouette a mere shadow but for his face.

"I thought you were done running," Andrew says, blowing out smoke.

"I am."

"Then act like it."

Neil lets his eyes wander to where Andrew's hand is tapping his cigarette against the edge of the rooftop, cinder flakes falling down like snow, weightless and bright. Stretching beneath them the city sleeps, a quiet map of lights.

"Help me practice."

The sound of his own voice surprises him. The silence that follows is filled with it.

Andrew turns a blank stare to Neil.

"I don't mean the choreography," Neil says, slowly forcing out the words. "Help me practice dancing with someone."

A beat.

"I only dance alone."

"I'm no one, aren't I? You said so yourself."

Andrew flicks the remainder of his cigarette into the darkness and leaves. Neil watches it fall down until Andrew's footsteps down the stairs stop echoing through the night.

*

It's not until three days have passed and Neil is this close to giving up on the duet that Andrew gives him an answer.

It comes in the form of a small stereo sitting on the rooftop, music winding from its speaker and escaping from the roof like smoke, slow and flimsy.

The first time isn't really dancing. Mostly they just stare, feet solidly planted into the ground. Then Neil closes his eyes, and Andrew takes a step forward. He takes a hold of Neil's wrists and brings them to his shoulders, then puts his hands on Neil's waist. They stay like this until the end of the song.

The second time they start shuffling along with the music.

The third time Andrew tells Neil to open his eyes. They swing, slightly, and Andrew's face is more blank than ever. Neil takes it as a victory none the less.

The fourth time, Neil asks if he can try something and takes Andrew's right hand in his. Andrew lets him.

The sixth time, Neil figures out a few steps - and smiles when Andrew goes along with them. They're awkward, barely in rhythm parodies of the dancing Neil has been watching with increasing frequency on his free time, but they start to settle into it after the third try.

After that, Neil keeps testing out steps, trying to place them on the music, and repeating them for as long as Andrew will let him. Sometimes they only go through it once, sometimes four, and sometimes Andrew stops before the end of the song. But he always comes back.

*

By the time Neil feels sort of comfortable dancing with Andrew, dancing with Kevin starts getting bearable - sometimes even rewarding. Neil stops trying to put as much distance between them as he can, and he starts enjoying the movements, too. Kevin is nothing if not meticulous, but he makes it look effortless, and the choreaography reflects that. It's a rapid, wild dance, with a lot of back and forth that gets suspended, for a split second, then starts again, changing forms. Kevin calls it a tide, once, and Neil starts to feel the waves in the music and the wind carrying salt across the pale wooden floor.

Kevin gives him a twelve-hour notice for their first group practice. Neil barely sleeps.

He doesn't know what, exactly, makes his body stiffen as soon as he walks into the room, but the whole thing is a disaster. Kevin makes him run laps, which he does enough of that the burning in his muscles is the only thing he can think about.

It goes about as well the next day, so Kevin cancels their night practice so he can get his thoughts together.

"If you can't give it your whole tomorrow, don't bother showing up."

Neil goes for a run. When he comes back, Andrew is waiting for him outside the building. They walk up to the roof without a word and start dancing, simply repeating the movements that Neil put together over time. The music, slow and familiar, wraps itself around them like a stream, and Neil is content just to let himself be carried. He loses the tension in his muscles, in his chest, lets the current wash it off into the night.

Then Andrew does something new - and Neil has to pull his focus back to follow, to stare, as well, to fall back into the regular steps as he studies Andrew's face, unmoving and unmoved, bored but for the the slightest hitch pulling at the corner of his mouth and his hold, steady, focused - open.

Neil debates saying something, but closes his mouth to smile instead.

"What?" Andrew asks, voice flat. Neil focuses on the music, adds a step without leaving Andrew's eyes.

"Nothing."

*

- The group practice with Kevin isn't perfect the next day, but it flows. Kevin makes him work even harder that night, "to make up for the time you wasted". Neil doesn't complain.

- They dance the duet for the regionals. It just about closes the whole performance, and Neil leaves the stage feeling like his chest will either collapse or burst out. It's not an unpleasant feeling.

Andrew's hand brushes his back lightly when he walks past.

"Junkie."

Neil grabs Andrew's tee-shirt to stop him. "Thank you."

Andrew pushes his smile away with his hand and a frown and leaves before the rest of the Foxes can get there.

*

"I want to dance like that again."

Andrew lights a cigarette and puts it on the ground next to him. Neil takes it, sitting, and takes in the smell. His mother is as fickle as the coils of smoke rising above them that night, so he lets it rest. Andrew picks it up from where Neil put it down between the two of them and takes a drag, blowing out the smoke with his gaze fixed on the horizon.

Neil waits for Andrew to turn towards him. "Next time I want to dance a duet with you," he says. Neither of them wavers, but the air between them does.

Andrew reaches for Neil's neck, bringing it down.

"What makes you think I want to dance with you?"

Andrew's words smell of smoke and Neil can feel the heat of his breath grazing his face, sees it in Andrew's eyes clear as the city lights.

"Because we did."

Something flickers across his face, quick as a ghost.

Neil knows he could pull away if he wanted to, but when Andrew brings him closer he lets him.

"Yes or no?"

There is a tension in them, pulling - whether it's a tide or a stream, Neil doesn't know. But he dives anyway.

"Yes."

Andrew kisses him, and the weight of Andrew's hand at the back of his neck is an anchor that the storm in his chest cannot reach.

Kissing Andrew is not much different from dancing with him, Neil thinks.

And then he stops thinking.

[pipedream-truths]

i know we all ignore nora’s extra content anyway (*cough* andreil wedding *cough*) but i have headcanons about this fashion designer allison thing

okay so

allison goes pro. after fighting tooth and nail for the right to play exy there’s no way she’s giving it up after college. also no one expects her to actually do it or succeed so it’s a giant fuck you to all the haters

she’s the first fox to ever play professionally and when she gets signed she asks wymack if she’s made him proud. he tells her he was always proud.

once she’s on her new team (one whose colors are not that god awful orange this time) she notices some things about the uniforms that could use…improvement

initially her critique just gets written off as her being a bitch but now that she’s pointed it out everyone starts to see it, see what could be better. and especially her fellow women teammates pool ideas and research and resources until they’ve got crazily in depth designs that are just so much more functional and clean and appealing. they pitch the designs at a meeting their coach set up just so they’d spend more time practicing in the uniforms than ripping apart the outside of them.

the suits try to say no but theodora muldani happens to be on allison’s team and between allison and thea they don’t stand a chance.

i need a whole separate post for thea and allison’s friendship

so it’s agreed but when the new uniforms arrive the next season and the team is trying them on they still aren’t right? wtf? so allison decides to take matters into her own hands.

well, renee’s hands, at least in the beginning. renee’s really good at making clothes and allison bought her a high power commercial sewing machine for christmas last year so plug that baby in and let’s kick corporate ass

allison does learn how to do it all on her own. she just likes watching renee work, and it’s a way to spend extra time with her when she’s home and not halfway across the world

she starts small because the concern is brought up that if she just starts producing her own team merch it’ll be a contract violation or some other legal shit. so she just does the undergarments for her and her friends. then pretty much everyone on the team is placing an order in. then dan asks if she can do some stuff for a few of the people on the team she’s coaching. word spreads and the media gets ahold of it and starts praising allison’s ingenuity

there are few pos articles about how “women’s place has always been at the loom” and another that cries about her “struggle to stay in touch with her femininity in a predominantly male sport” detailing how she turned to clothing as a last refuge and sanctuary, which ??no?? but most of the media coverage is good for once in allison’s life

at that point her team higher-ups have to finally recognize what she’s doing and fall over themselves to sign agreements that she’s affiliated with them and whatever

she goes to a new team instead

the transition keeps her busy and the buzz dies down, so she has time to really consider and think about what she wants to do

a lot of time actually, because she gets injured in a game and is out for the rest of the season. it’s as she’s ranting to renee about what the point of wearing armor even is if her collarbone still snapped like a twig that she realizes yeah, their armor is really shitty, and she could do better?

once she gets a few prototypes made she enlists neil and matt to try it out. andrew doesn’t say anything the whole time until they’re packing up to leave

“add a mouth guard so josten can’t run his fucking mouth during games”

kevin finds out he wasn’t invited and throws a hissy fit which is exactly why she didn’t want him there in the first place. but kevin knows exy better than anyone and will know any weaknesses in the armor better than anyone so she gives him the new version and leaves him at the court for a few hours. when she picks him up they outline every good and bad thing

the new gloves may or may not be called day gloves.

if they are it’s just because there’s a black version called night gloves

so eventually, after it’s been tested a million times and she has a few sets of it, allison’s gotta patent this shit. she’s gotta patent it and gotta unveil it in the most dramatic way possible.

the question: how?

she doesn’t want to just sell all her hard work to some bigger company or have it be attached to whatever team she’s playing for now. or any team for that matter. she wants this new gear to be accessible to all. and affordable. unlike the two hundred fifty “02” kevin day sweatshirt currently on sale at exites that she’s so buying him for his birthday just to embarrass him

she did not expect neil to have the same sweatshirt? apparently it’s part of some inside joke between him and andrew about neil being obsessed with kevin? who the fuck knows what goes on there. definitely not allison.

anyway

by this time it’s getting close enough to the olympics that Court training is getting super intense

like, if not for the whole nest thing, kevin and jean and neil probably wouldn’t leave the stadium

if we’re ignoring the extra content then we’re ignoring that jean doesn’t make Court

thea tells allison kevin had to get his own bed because with both his racquet and the dog in the bed there’s no room for her and she sure as hell isn’t giving up her memory foam mattress

for whatever reason this pathetic story about kevin sparks an idea in allison (probably has to do with her preying on everyone else’s current patheticness)

using all her reynolds bargaining skills and fox brutality along with renee’s charm, she bullies the people in charge into replacing their former super expensive top grade gear with allison’s new stuff. she goes home after days and days of debate and arm-twisting and lying through her teeth and collapses onto the couch. renee has to hold her pretty much until the next morning before she’s recovered enough to even move.

“i feel like a politician babe. wash my face for me, i can feel the political pimples coming out of my pores.”

and of course allison’s new gear is better than any other team’s. she didn’t spend a month schmoozing up to that swedish developer just to be usurped on an international level. and she didn’t learn japanese just to talk to kayleigh and tetsuji’s original developers for nothing either.

what better way to establish yourself than the fucking olympics

“I’m like a fucking superhero babe” she says, feet in renee’s lap, wine in hand, gold medal around her neck

compared to dealing with everyone involved with the Court deal, the rest of it is a piece of cake

she retires not long after the olympics

once she does that, she can focus on her brand

renee suggests she connect with her younger customers

bond with the kids. youth outreach stuff. allison tries to get away with just donating a bunch of armor but renee gives her a Look so allison actually goes and talks to some of them.

she pretty much hates it. the only kids she likes are her foxes’. but she does meet a few little ones who her success has impacted and encouraged and that’s. that’s something.

once it gets so big she can’t manage everything, it’s with great reluctance that she dials an international call to germany.

nicky’s only reservation is the amount of time he’ll spend stateside versus at home with erik, but they work it out and allison leaves him in charge of marketing with a promise to rip off his balls and feed them to erik junior the goldfish if nicky screws up her company

she expands into generalized athletic/active wear, normal stuff that isn’t exy exclusive.

“what other sport is there other than exy”

“stickball” andrew whispers

“AGAIN WITH THE STICKBALL WHAT IS STICKBALL”

poor kevin

bc why do anything if you can’t look and feel good doing it

her parents try to invest in the company.

that’s a giant fuck no. she built this baby from the ground up. it is hers. they didn’t want her and exy before and they’re not getting her and exy now. in no way does she ever want to be tied to them or their money ever again.

she goes into exites sometimes to scope out what the people actually buying her product say about it and there it is. that kevin day sweatshirt. she nearly buys out the exites chain just to make them stop selling it.

allison reynolds gets inducted into the exy hall of fame for her contribution to the sport as a Court gold medalist and for revolutonizing exy armor forever.

[ravenvsfox]

Hey! If you're still taking prompts, could you write about neil and Andrew having a conversation about Neil's past? Like the stuff he had to do to survive and the stuff he went through with the worlds shittiest parents? Also I'm pretty sure neil has killed people like it makes complete sense so maybe andreil talking about that?

There’s a band of pale blue light nipping at the tops of the trees and sharpening the silhouettes of the houses, but everything else is fresh and dark. Andrew smokes with the pack clenched in his fist, the cherry of the cigarette winking at the street lamps winking at the orange moon.

Their front porch isn’t like the rush of the rooftop, but he can get that same jitter of fear from Neil nowadays, and he’s more portable. He’d left him knotted in the bedsheets an hour ago, and knowing he’s inside somewhere at his back is burning him up. Andrew inhales and focuses on the exhale, the way the smoke still tries to hurt him when it should’ve given up. He likes that nicotine doesn’t leave him alone.

Neil slips out the front door and lets the screen door clatter, and Andrew knows that he’s upset before he sits down two steps below Andrew, holding his own head.

He doesn’t ask; just smokes fervently. The moon bobs its head sympathetically, wind catches the smoke and breaks it over Neil’s head like water on rocks.

It occurs to Andrew that Neil isn’t going to start this conversation, because he likes to think things through on his own, solve them wrong, and tell Andrew about his mistakes later. He’s insufferably convinced of his own problem-solving abilities, then obsessed with the mechanism of his own missteps.

“What?” Andrew asks impatiently. He flicks ash from his cigarette and holds it out in front of Neil’s face. Neil sidles through his own tangled thinking for long enough to glance up. He leans forward and sucks the smoke from between Andrew’s fingers.

When he looks away, gusting smoke from his open mouth, he says, “Matt called. We fought.”

“You fought,” Andrew guesses.

Neil looks agitated, blue in the choked light, eyes black and furious. “He was being unfair. He keeps trying to tell me what’s right or wrong lately, because he thinks I’ve been— been deprived, like my experiences were outside of humanity, or morality, and it’s so— condescending.”

“You’re only realizing this now? All of the foxes are condescending. It is the only way they can avoid their own failure.”

“This was different,” Neil says, shaking his head. “I can tell when they’re saying things because they want to see my reaction, and this wasn’t that. He meant what he was saying.”

“And what was that?”

Neil goes gagged silent. He shifts backwards up to Andrew’s stair without looking at him, settling into the groove worn into the wood.

“That killing someone makes you a monster. That murder is the worst thing you can do to a person.”

Andrew looks at the sky and swallows until he thinks he might be able to taste injustice. It’s unforgettable from the way it was forced down his throat with a hand over his mouth for so long.

“I don’t care what Matt thinks about me.”

Neil takes Andrew’s hand, and he stares down dumbly before he realizes that Neil’s un-peeling his fingers and stealing a cigarette from the pack crushed between them. He dips a hand into Andrew’s jeans’ pocket and fishes the lighter out. It’s all distracting enough that Andrew slips and finds himself looking at the freckle under Neil’s eye for one blinking moment.

Neil doesn’t speak for almost a minute, just holds the lit cigarette by his face and breathes like he’s about to be pushed underwater.

“What about what he thinks of me?” Neil asks quietly, rhetorically. The look on his face is unquestionable. Andrew mentally pencils a variable into an old equation, and he’s unnerved to find that the solution is as obvious and sickening as most things are. There’s a shocking sadness right at the centre of his chest.

“Who did you kill, Neil Josten?”

Neil’s face crumples at the sound of his name. “I don’t know.” He smokes to distract himself, brows furrowed at the bead of light at his fingertips. “Strangers. Some fired the first shots, lots didn’t. It was a war.”

Andrew nods. He watches Neil’s body try to comfort itself, straightening then shaking, losing.

“I watched my mother kill most of them. The worst ones, probably. I think they were all dad’s, but I never knew for sure. She— it was us or them, she told me that every night. Like a bedtime story. Over and over. Us or them. Shoot or shot. Survive or don’t. My mother wasn’t a monster—“

“She beat you for opening the window of your hotel room. She watched your father put an iron to your skin without lifting a finger. She taught you to be afraid of your own body.” Andrew can hear the sickness in his own voice. He often thinks about how he would’ve enjoyed leaving Mary Hatford to burn. He would have taken Neil’s place on that beach a thousand times.

“She looked out for me the only way she could for as long as she could,” Neil argues. “She killed people to save me. Just like Aaron killed to save you, and you killed to save Aaron.”

“Never compare us to her.”

“All the people I’ve loved,” Neil soldiers on, “would choose us, and shoot, and survive.”

“But you’ve chosen shot,” Andrew says. “You’re a self-sacrificing idiot.”

“Only in moments of weakness.” Neil half smiles. “When I was on the run I would shoot and I wouldn’t wait around to see blood. I remember poisoning a man’s scotch, and mom passed him the drink so I thought— I told myself it wasn’t really me doing it. I watched him slump over and I didn’t think about it again.”

Andrew stubs his cigarette out on the porch. “We should go inside.”

“There was this woman tailing us once, and we were barely on our fourth right turn when we pulled over. My mom strangled her right there in the driver’s seat. The engine was still running. She told me to shoot her in the head ‘just in case’, but she stole her sunglasses off her face first. My dad had a lot of thugs but we made a dent in them, we definitely— we changed the lineup of his followers a few times.“ He’s looking mostly in the opposite direction but Andrew can see the incongruous smile on his face.

“Yes or no?” he asks quickly.

Neil looks back at him, smile slipping. “Yes?”

Andrew snatches his cigarette and throws it into the street, and then he drags him up off the steps by the waist. It’s impossible, watching Neil confess into the street, ripped by the cold, looking at the last of the dying sun like he wants to follow it past the horizon. He feels Neil jerk when he maneuvers them both over the lip of the stairs, and the tension wobbles but follows them inside. 

He starts asking questions but Andrew just tightens his grip, pulling him through the foyer and into the shadowed darkness of the hall. He can see the folds of curtains and the shine of Neil’s hair in the streetlights outside, but he navigates to their room by feel alone.

Neil finally breaks away just before they reach the door. “Wait, I don’t think I can just. Ignore this. I don’t know how to pretend like my past is— like it’s even something I can talk about. I don’t know how to tell Matt that you’re not a monster, because I’d have to tell him what a monster actually looks like, and it looks like my father, like me.” He stops, out of breath. Andrew steps closer, overwhelmed but clamping his reactions off at the artery. “I can’t— If I’d been in the door faster I would’ve killed Drake, no hesitation.”

“Don’t.” 

“When I think about the best things that have ever happened to me, two of the top ten are the bullets in my father’s chest. I’ve seen the things that death can ruin, and I’ve seen the things that it can make. All my father ever made was nightmares. I don’t understand how you can look at mercy and bravery and saving yourself and think monster. But I don’t know how to picture the grey matter I put on that woman’s leather seats and think anything else.” 

“Are you done?”

Neil slumps into the wall and nods like he’s being jerked on a string.

“Matt’s never had anything real taken from him,” Andrew starts, business-like, no room for argument. “He’s never watched the system fail from inside it.”

Neil looks up at him, wide-eyed. He obviously hadn’t expected a real response, and his whole demeanour switches once he realizes Andrew had been listening hard enough to form opinions.

“If you want to be a monster you can be one, but you’re not very good at it. Your father put a knife in your hand and you keep putting it down.”

“I’m—“

“Done,” Andrew interrupts pointedly. “I don’t care what Matt thinks of me because I don’t care what Matt thinks. He does not understand what it’s like to have only two options in the world. He thinks that the worst thing possible is to give up, but he doesn’t know what it is to stop fighting and keep getting kicked. He doesn’t know how dangerous it is to let abuse live.”

It’s more than he wanted to say. The truth is familiar, but he usually bites it off at the stem, keeps the rotting roots inside. It seems wrong to be here with his mouth full of honesty again, but it’s right that Neil’s on the other side of it. Columbia feels like a graveyard he was buried alive in, but Neil’s been digging him up for months now.

“He thinks you can imprison it,” Neil says, looking away. “He thinks there are ways to intervene without— without becoming the butcher.” Andrew pushes to the opposite side of the hallway from Neil, not trusting his own rage.

“He would put him in a cage with a hundred potential victims and think that the problem is solved?” The “he” has a different face for both of them and they both know it. It crawls in Andrew’s arms. It makes the dark hallway feel stripped open with something corrosive and flashbulb bright.

“Matt doesn’t know...” Neil starts.

“No,” Andrew says. “He doesn’t.”

They stare at the shape of each other until Andrew reaches a hand out. Neil takes it gratefully, moving into his space, warm and breathing hard.

“He just wants to believe in good things,” Neil says. “And he thinks I’m one of them.”

“Yes,” Andrew says, purposefully vague, and Neil drops his face down heavily, breathing into his collar.

“I’m not. And I don’t want to lie anymore,” Neil murmurs, and Andrew pulls away. He crosses quietly into their room, sensing Neil’s hesitation before he follows.

They change in silence: a poorly wrapped, oozing thing after the unresolved conversation they just had. Andrew flips on the ensuite bathroom light and blinks in it, eyes burning. Sometimes he avoids his reflection to see how difficult things become, like he can understand Neil by putting on his problems.

When he glances back out into the room Neil is sitting shirtless on the side of the bed, half of him in shadow and half of him in borrowed light. He watches Andrew brush his teeth, and Andrew watches the jumble of scars that Neil got from the sort of people who don’t wonder about right and wrong on the phone with their best friend.

He walks all the way up to him, between his thighs, and tilts Neil’s head back by the neck. He looks up at him, jaw tense enough to crack, hands clenched on his own thighs.

“I could kill Boyd and solve this problem,” Andrew suggests.

Neil snorts, relaxing, but Andrew’s hands keep him from ducking his head.

“Pass.”

“Lie down,” Andrew urges him, but Neil holds his gaze, unimpressed.

“My issues will still be here in the morning.”

Andrew pushes his shoulders and follows him down. “I can ignore them better if I’m asleep.”

They jostle their way under the covers. Andrew breathes in through his nose and tugs on Neil’s arm until his body is pressed up behind him, bare chest tucked around Andrew’s back. He only exhales when he’s acclimated to the diluted panic that swarms and tries to set off alarm bells he’s already disarmed.

Neil stiffens behind him, and the strangeness of his wooden reluctance is enough to settle his stomach a little.

“Andrew?” Neil whispers. His hand is open, flexed away from Andrew’s front.

Andrew tightens Neil’s arm around his waist like a seatbelt until his fingers relax. The warmth at his back has jagged scars that Andrew can feel and bangs brushing the base of his neck. Everything smells like the cheap blue bar soap they have in the bathroom.

His eyes are on the door to the hall, but Neil’s got his back, and Andrew almost feels like he’s in goal, keeping the thing he’s trying to protect behind him.

Feeling Neil settle, feeling the switch from being close to being held, is the strangest feedback loop of protecting and protection.

When they roll apart in the night, Andrew pulls him close without thinking. (Whatever monsters they had been, they aren’t in this bed.)

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 5 – Call Me, Beep Me

In which Neil is introduced to the wonders of modern technology, the battle against heteronormativity continues, Andreil have An Interaction™ and Nicky finally reclaims his status as best person alive.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

We start this chapter off with Neil recapping how he’s super broke, which is already the most fucking relatable thing.

“Broke” here meaning “I am in possession of half a million dollars, however I’ll need it for my entire sad runaway life so I can’t spend it on anything fancy”, not “I’m a poor intern who’s getting paid below minimum wage”, obviously.

The reason we’re evaluating Neil’s financial status is because some unexpected expenses have come up in his life that he is ruthlessly and cruelly forced to :

He’s going shopping with Nicky.

Well, technically the rest of the monsters are there too, but let’s be real, Nicky is the driving force of Operation Let’s Get Neil Into Some Decent Nice Clothes, And Hopefully Also Laid.

The reason they’re venturing into the scary, hostile territory of an American mall is, of course, the fast approach of one particular banquet.

           “I could just not go,”  Neil said.

           “Shut up. You’re going,” Kevin said, like he wasn’t dreading this himself. All fourteen southern Class I teams would be in attendance, and that included Edgar Allan’s Ravens.

Oh, yes. Fun times with That Fucker™ himself. Have I mentioned I’m really, really looking forward to this thing?

           It was a short list of names and numbers in bubbly blue print. Nicky leaned over and made a dismissive noise. “Seriously, Aaron?”

           “Dan asked me to get a list from Katelyn,” Aaron said.

           “Who are these people?” Neil asked.

           “They’re the single Vixens.”

           “They’re all women,” Nicky said. “That doesn’t help us.”

Nicky saying ‘Fuck you’ to heteronormativity will always be my favourite thing <3

Although, as funny as it is, Neil has repeatedly told him he’s not gay. And while I totally understand the frustration of someone insisting they’re not queer while your gaydar shouts otherwise, can Nicky be a little less pushy about it, maybe?

Just a thought.

           “Stop being a bad influence,” Kevin told Nicky. “I am going to make him Court. It’ll be easier if he remains heterosexual. You know more than any of us how prejudiced people can be.”

Guys, he is literally right there.

Neil thinks so too:

           “We aren’t really having this conversation,” Neil said.

           Nicky clapped his hands to either side of Neil’s head as if trying to shield Neil from their argument. It didn’t really work, as he missed Neil’s ears completely.

Bahahaha. I actually had to laugh out at that mental image.

           “Come on, Kevin. Even you have to admit this is really weird.”

           Andrew threw his hands up. “Newsflash, Nicky: Neil isn’t normal!”

           “This is beyond abnormal.”

           “I am standing right here,” Neil said, “and I can hear you.”

You tell ‘em, Neil.

Nicky, has someone explained the concept of demi/asexuality to you? Like, ever?

Deep sigh. Will I have to do it, or does someone enlighten this boy before the series is over?

(Don’t tell me. I want to continue giving sarcastic running commentary to his running commentary on Neil’s sexuality.)

On a more serious note: The subject of Allison is brought up once again.

           “I won’t bring her,” Kevin said, because someone had to break the quiet. “You might have brought Riko’s wrath down on the striker line, but I’m the reason he’s in the south in the first place. Neither of us has the right to speak to Allison now.”

Is that……. Kevin being….. human…….. with a basic scrap of…….. compassion………?

AMAZING. WONDERFUL. WOW.

           “I know Riko was behind this. I know what people like him are like. Be glad you’ll never understand the way they think.”

           Any other time, Neil would be relieved to hear such words from Kevin. It meant Andrew hadn’t told Kevin the truth about Neil’s past and that Kevin had yet to recognize him.

Yeah, and I’m still unsure on whether I’m buying that whole ‘Kevin doesn’t recognize Neil’ act.

Like. It still doesn’t make sense to me that you could play hours and hours of little league, not to mention watch a guy get legit murdered with this kid, and be fooled with a bit of hair dye and some contacts? Unless puberty did Neil Josten really, really well, I’m calling bullshit.

On the other hand, that comment did sound genuine and y’know, it would support that even the mighty Kevin Day’s brain makes a mistake or two sometimes.

On the other other hand, the mighty Kevin Day is an excellent actor, trained by years in front of cameras, who could drop comments like these and sound like he’s being entirely 100% genuine.

On the other other other hand, why pretend to not know Neil? Maybe not in front of the rest of the team, alright, but if it’s just the two alone? Why ignore their important shared history?

My brain hurts. I need to stop going in circles over this. All in due time, Nicki.

This is for real one of the questions I’m most excited to have answered by the end of this series.

           Neil looked at the massive bundle of clothes in Nicky’s arms. (…)

           “I have good taste in clothes, right? If you want to try them on you can, but you don’t have to. I know they’ll fit.”

           “Why would I want to try them on?”

           “Oh, because these are yours.”

Can I have my own personal Nicky who takes me to the nearest Topshop and picks out bomb ass outfits for me??? Please and thank you.

Neil, however, is an ungrateful fashion grouch, not thanking Nicky with one word as he obviously does not understand what a service to everyone’s eyeballs Nicky has probably just done.

However, all that fashion banter pales against what happens next – which is where the chapter gets really good.

           “What is that dinosaur?” Nicky asked, dismayed. “No one put money on a flip phone, Andrew. You just ruined a really good pot.”

           Neil idly wondered if there was anything his teammates wouldn’t bet on.

Oh my GOD. You bet on what sort of phone Andrew had? I love this team so, so much.

Wait. Shouldn’t they know his phone? Why are they betting on that.

Wait. It’s not his, is it.

           “You couldn’t even have found him a qwerty?”

           “What for?” Andrew finished what he was doing, snapped the phone shut, and tossed it at Neil. (…) “Who is Neil going to text?” (…)

           “What.” Neil couldn’t even make it a question.

They got him a PHONE, you guys. A PHONE. THAT THEY CAN CALL. AND TEXT. FOR KEEPING IN TOUCH. FOR INCLUDING NEIL IN GROUP SOCIALIZING.

I am loving the FUCK out of this.

Neil, however, is not.

           He didn’t think a small thing like this could hurt so much, but the grief that punched through him left him in pieces. (…) Every time they moved they got new cell phones, prepaid burners they could ditch at the first hint of trouble. He’d wanted to keep hers. (…) He’d thrown them into the waves before leaving the beach.

Whoops.

Today’s Casually Mentioned, Yet Heartbreakingly Sad Neil Fact is: This.

           He’d never gotten a new one for himself. He’d never seen a point; Neil had no one in the world he could call.

Excuse me while I quickly drown in my own tears.

And although Nicky tries to calmly and gently reason with him (“That’s our just-in-case. You’ll make us all feel better if we know we can find you”, brb crying), Neil refuses to accept the damn phone.

That is, until, of course, until #bestboy Andrew shows up with it at their Late Night Kandreil Training Sesh™.

           Andrew took his phone out of his pocket and set it down beside Neil’s. His was black but otherwise seemed to be the same model.

Do I get emotional over the fact that they have matching phones? Maybe.

Is it totally ridiculous as Andrew probably just bought him what he knew worked? Probably.

Will that stop me? Absolutely fucking not.

           He flicked both open and pressed a couple buttons. A few seconds later Andrew’s phone started to ring. Neil expected a generic ringtone, but a man started singing. It didn’t sound like something Andrew would assign to his phone until Neil listened to the lyrics. It was a song about runaways.

Andrew, you wonderful little shit. <3

Also, that song either Run Boy Run by Woodkid or Ghost Towns by Radical Face and no other headcanons shall be accepted.

(I’m totally kidding. PLEASE do send in any other ideas you have, my TFC playlist still needs filling.)

Andrew bugs him about the phone thing (needing to watch his boy’s back and what have you <3), Neil dishes out some BS about how he used to keep the phone his dead parents gave him in hopes they would miraculously call again, bla bla.

Andrew is not taking that bullshit and supplies us with some sassy times instead.

           “Who am I supposed to call?” [Neil said.]

           “Nicky, Coach, the suicide hotline, I don’t care.”

           “I’m remembering why I don’t like you.”

           “I’m surprised you even forgot in the first place.”

           “Maybe I didn’t.”

What a comeback, bro. This is weak af coming from a guy who tore down Riko on national TV, just sayin.

           “There has to be a better way.”

           “You could occasionally grow a spine,” Andrew suggested. “I know it’s a difficult concept for someone whose kneejerk reaction is to run away at the first sign of trouble, but try it sometime. You might actually like it.”

           “What I’d like is to put this phone through your teeth.”

           “See, that’s more interesting.”

           “I’m not here for you entertainment,” Neil said.

           “But, as expected, you are talented enough to multitask.”

I’m loving this so, so damn much. Andrew is destroying your ass with these comebacks, Neil, and I’m on the back waving a styrofoam finger, hollering at everything he says.

I would like to also add that Andrew is entirely sober for these interactions. This is pure, undiluted Minyard sass.

And as always – never a one-on-one Andreil Interaction™ without some feels at the end:

           “I don’t care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don’t care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it..” Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil’s chin and forced Neil’s head up until they were looking at each other.

Hombre…………………….….. das v gay.

           “One day you’re not going to run. You’re going to think about what I promised you and you’re going to make the call. Tell me you understand.”

           Neil’s voice had left him, but he managed a nod.

:’)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I’m fine I’m fine leave me here to fucking p e r i s h.

Neil takes this brief honesty hour to try and get back on that weird call from the Oakland PD Andrew got at the start of the book, however that ends honesty hour because Andrew just brushes him off:

           “Children’s Services is opening an investigation into one of my foster fathers. Pig Higgins knew I lived with them, so he called me for testimony. (…) Richard Spear is an uninteresting but relatively harmless human being. They won’t find anything to pin on him.”

Bull-fucking-shit. No way. That was much too shocked a reaction for a little thing like that.

Whatever. All in due time, all in due time.

Onto better and funnier subjects: This is the wonderful, wonderful point where our favourite hobo is finally introduced to the wonders of modern technology.

           By the time Neil made it to the athletes’ dining hall for lunch he had twenty messages. Most of them were from Nicky, idle comments about nothing in particular.

Nicky <33333

Also twenty messages, that is hilarious if you consider that Neil jumps out of his skin like an anxious baby rabbit with an orange bandana every time his phone goes off.

           Neil didn’t know what to make of it. The Foxes spent seven hours together at practices every day and roomed with each other at Fox Tower. How they had anything left to say to each other was beyond him.

It’s called having friends, dude, you should try it some time.

           He wanted to turn the messaging off somehow or tell them this wasn’t why he had a phone. Phones were for emergencies, not running commentary on a teacher’s boring lecture.

Nicky continues to spam him with texts the next few days, which, honestly, big mood.

If I like you, especially if our friendship is just being newly established, I will fucking blow up your phone with wholesome memes and weird 3am thoughts. Watch me.

This tactic has made some good ass friendships though, so no regrets.

However, for Nicky it’s not just all fun and friendship-making:

           Halfway through [Nicky’s] rant about a current class project Neil’s phone hummed. Neil answered without thinking. It was a smiley face from Nicky. Neil looked up at Nicky, not understanding.

           “See?” Nicky sounded pleased. “That’s much better. That’s how a normal human being looks when they check their phone, Neil.”

Dude. Did you just………….. blow up his phone all week………… just to make sure he’s comfortable using it…………………. I CRY???????

           “Question,” Nicky said. “If I hadn’t been bothering you would you have touched that phone at all this week?” (…)

           “Question again: Do you honestly think you’d have used it if you had an emergency?”

NICKY WHEN DID YOU BECOME SUCH A GOOD PERSON AGAIN I’M SORRY I BRIEFLY UNSTANNED YOU LET ME FUCKING L O V E Y O U

           “Anyway, you’re welcome. I just saved you at least two hundred dollars in intensive therapy.”

MY DUDE <33333333333

Nicky is a wonderful person, Neil knows what an emoji is, all is good in the world again.

Next chapter: Fun banquet times! Sass! Shade! Fashion! And from all I know, possibly murder yet again! Stay tuned!

---

If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 8 – The Hangover: Neil Josten Edition

In which Neil has a hangover that could kill a man, attempts to actually kill a few men (read: the monsters), Wymack is still the best person alive, and Andreil engage in some Totally Straight Bro Time™.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

So, last chapter was a train wreck. I’ve had lots of you coming up to me trying to restore Andrew’s honour and telling me it wasn’t all his fault, but still. The monsters have lost some serious sympathy points in my books.

(I’ve also been told it gets worse, which, might I add, is not reassuring what the hell.)

Let’s get crackin’ and see if our boy Neil is still alive.

           As soon as Neil could breathe again, he twisted and shoved Nicky as hard as he could. He was too sick and weak to push Nicky off the other side of the bed, but the boots he was still wearing would leave bruises on Nicky’s arms and chest.

Alive and kicking, pun absolutely intended.

Also, GOOD. Hit that fucker.

My initial love for Nicky is going through a serious dilemma right now, by the way. On one hand, he’s still the comic relief, which I love, he’s funny and loud and a much-needed ray of sunshine in this otherwise pretty depressing monster squad. On the other hand, he does not seem to understand consent, which goes against every principle I have.

He might have to settle as the Problematic Fave. We’ll see.

           “Hey, hey,” Nicky said, trying to deflect him. “It’s fine. Ouch! Relax, will you?”

           “Don’t you fucking touch me,” Neil said savagely.

I have a strong feeling Neil says everything savagely. That’s like saying Andrew said something murderously, Seth said something angrily, or Renee said something gently and glitter rained down from the sky, the sun bursts through the clouds and angels sang of everything good in this world.

It’s like, duh, that’s how they function.

           “He’s awake?” someone asked from the door.

           Neil snatched the alarm clock up and hurled it at the new arrival, who ducked out of the way just in time.

Attempted Kill Count: II.

Aaron and Nicky try to make him feel better by offering him water and food, and carrying him since he can hardly stand due to his Massive Cracker Dust Hangover, an act of niceness that I am totally not buying.

You drug him and were planning to do God knows what with him if he hadn’t had himself knocked out in time, and now you’re trying to play good Samaritan? Y’all can exit stage left.

           “Drink up,” Nicky said. “You’ll need all the water you can get today. Crackers’ll dehydrate you like nobody’s business.”

           Neil answered by upending his glass on the floor.

           “That’s mature,” Aaron said.

           Neil threw the glass at him.

Attempted Kill Count: III. Neil is on a roll today.

Neil, smart runaway that he is, does not buy the monsters’ Samaritan act either and instead does what I’d advised Nicky and Aaron to do: Exit stage left, that is to say, he gets the fuck out of there.

As soon as he’s in the vicinity of a payphone, he calls Matt and the other not-entirely insane people on this team, which is pretty much the only sensible thing to do in this kind of fuckery.

           “I’m in Columbia with Andrew.“

           “You’re – what?” Matt went from half-asleep to wide awake in a heartbeat. The alarm in his voice only made Neil feel worse. “Jesus, Neil, what the hell did you do that for? Did he–“ Matt aborted that and asked again, “Are you all right?”

           “I’m fine,” Neil lied.

The fact that this is alarming news to Matt and the gang is fucking alarming news to me. Please don’t tell me this is what happened to Matt last year. Please.

Also, Neil “I’m fine” Josten strikes again.

I am instantly proven right as we find out that yes, this is exactly what happened to Matt last year. Poor Billie Joe. You just rose so much in my sympathy ranks. <3

Neil truck-hitchhikes home which we are skipping because it is, frankly, it’s not that interesting. However, as he gets home, it is time for my undisputed fave to appear again:

           Neil wasn’t quite ready to face Andrew yet and he didn’t want to deal with his teammates’ curiosity over his prolonged absence, so he went to Wymack’s apartment instead.

Clearly, Wymack is the solution to everything. Glad my boy Neil and I are on the same page here.

           “You should have called me,” Wymack said. “Me or Abby or any of the upperclassmen. All you had to do was say you didn’t want to stay with Andrew. Any of us would have come and gotten you.”

           Neil stared at him, to startled to respond.

Hello, and welcome to our popular show Neil Doesn’t Realize People Actually Care About Him, episode 1 of a billion.

Wymack apparently has some strong feelings about Andrew and Neil not killing each other entirely, which is why he calls down Andrew for some Quality Bro Time™ with his bf Neil – in typical Wymack-y manner.

           Neil heard [Wymack’s] furious voice loud and clear.

           “You have five seconds to get your retarded psycho ass to my apartment! You even think about telling me no and I swear to god I’ll throw Kevin’s contract down a garbage disposal.”

My dude, maybe think twice about using the R-word. Otherwise, what level of i c o n i c. #dicksoutforwymack

Andrew, miraculously, follows that kind invitation instantly, and this is where stuff gets good.

           “Have a nice stroll?” he asked, interrupting Wymack’s tirade.

           Neil returned his cold stare with a heated “Fuck you.”

           Wymack snapped his fingers in front of Andrew’s face, trying to get Andrew to look at him instead of Neil.

Tough luck, buddy, have fun prying those two apart. The fuckers even switch to goddamned German to have some private one-on-one time, ahem.

Pity Neil has to reveal his secret language superpowers so early in the game, though. I was waiting for the epic moment where Neil chimes into a Kevin/Andrew/Nicky conversation in fluent German just to deliver a savage burn.

           “How about I start with your parents?”

           “Good luck,” Neil said, feeling cold all over. “They’re dead.”

           “Did you kill them?”

           He said it so casually, like he was asking for the time, that Neil could only stare at him for a minute. (…) Then he remembered who he was talking to and asked, “Did you kill yours?”

What the fuck, you guys. How is this even a conversation they’re having. Who on earth just asks stuff like that.

           The twins didn’t know who their father was, and only Aaron grew up with their biological mother. Andrew was surrendered to foster care when he was just a few days old.

Oh. In hindsight, this explains why Andrew referred to their mother as “Aaron’s mother” before, but more importantly: What the fuck, why.

Who does that to a child, heck, who does that to a baby. Surely it’s gotta be healthier for twins to stay with each other? What the hell, Minyards.

Also, how did they pick which twin to keep and which one to give away? Like, “oh, this one looks much nicer, this one looks less like it wants to murder you as soon as you threaten its favourite rattle, better take this one and chuck the other one in the realms of Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind”.

What the actual why.

Did I say this was where stuff got good? We’re not done yet, ho boy. This is where stuff gets really good:

           “I didn’t kill my parents,” Neil said. (…) “Riko’s family did.”

OH SHIT OH SHIT HE’S TELLING HIM STUFF OH SHITTTTTTTTTTTT.

What follows may be the first real, pure, top-of-the-line Andreil scene we get to witness. Granted, Neil only gives Andrew the half-truth, leaving out some key details, but essentially, he pours his heart out in front of him. And I don’t only mean the whole factual side of things, but also stuff like “I’m too jealous of Kevin to stay away from him” and “He’s got you at his back telling him everything’s going to be okay” which I wish I’d made up as examples except those are actual quotes from the book.

And, might I add, not only is he confessing that stuff to one of his mortal enemies right now, he is also confessing that stuff for the first time ever to anyone at all.

I’m dead.

           Andrew reached up and forcibly uncurled Neil’s fingers from his mouth. He pushed Neil’s hand out of the way and stared Neil down with nothing between them. Neil didn’t understand the look on his face. There was no censure over Neil’s crooked parents or pity for their deaths, no triumph over having backed Neil into admitting so much, and no obvious scepticism for such an outlandish story. Whatever this look was, it was dark and intense enough to swallow Neil whole.

           “Let me stay,” Neil said quietly. “I’m not ready to give this up yet.”

Did I say I was dead? I just got fucking reanimated, lived a brief period of happiness, and died again.

WHAT LEVEL OF GAY SHIT. I know it gets even better later, [frieza voice] this isn’t even their final form, but I can’t help but be happy at the first glimpses of canon Andreil.

I am LIVING.

           Maybe Andrew’s night out in Columbia had been awful, and maybe he’d never want to say these things out loud, but having the air cleared between him and Andrew to some degree took an enormous weight of his chest.

Fsshgshsgdsjgjscjjs.

My sad baby boy Neil gets some peace and relief and breathing room I cannot believe.

           Andrew didn’t look at Wymack. “Neil wants to come with me.”

           A day ago, those words might have been an order or a threat, but today Neil heard only truth. He’d chosen the Foxes. He’d chosen to trust Andrew, whatever that meant and whatever consequences it brought down the road. There was no reason or need to hide behind Wymack now.

Are y’all seeing what I’m seeing………… are those…….. first traces of friendship and peace……….. w h a t

As much friendship and peace as you can get with the messed-up murder maniac, at least.

I’m so happy, you guys.

This does not make up for the problems of last chapter (especially my boy Nicky and I still have a bone to pick), but it makes me tentatively look towards an eventually positive future for our angry  babies.

           Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.

Couldn’t have said it better.

[ravenvsfox]

andreil

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

ummmm painful first question wow?? Definitely.. neither… wtf. I think emotionally Andrew might be more likely to be just callous enough that Neil takes it to heart, but it would be like,, almost impossible bc they understand each other so well. Maybe when Neil is really baring his soul and andrew is still walking that indifferent line. Maybe when andrew graduates and neil forgets andrew’s brand of emotional distance bc there’s REAL distance to contend with, you feel

who is emotionally stronger?

Andrew m8

Neil had to be emotionally strong for so long, and he doesn’t have to be anymore. But ANDREW….. his emotions are out of order like he’s built a safe around himself and neil just happens to have the access code 

who is physically stronger?

AndreW this isn’t even a debate Neil is lithe and wiry and andrew can pick him up with one hand. Like if you don’t think Andrew’s biceps are shredding his t-shirts we didn’t read the same book ://

who is more likely to break a bone? 

ur joking

Neil breaks his bones walking down the stairs my guy. That little bastard never outgrows being a hazard. Also he’s an aggressor in Exy, my boy has 2% regard for his own wellbeing, ball is life, etc. I can’t in my life imagine smooth and cold as steel Andrew breaking anything that isn’t someone else’s 

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

Okay andrew has that cultivated distance but neil is….. a machine. Remember when he kept provoking andrew about his assault bc he wanted a response out of him?? Like,, yeah. Neil knows how to take out the one brick that will topple a person. He’s sharp and scathing and aware of people’s weakness (Andrew’s more than anyone’s)

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

Also Neil man he drops a bomb and walks away but he starts to come back more and more. He starts to realize that arguments =/= break ups, and apologies =/= weakness. He starts fights and he fuckin finishes them. He loves andrew more than he loves the upper hand

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

>_> andrew is down here on the side of the court dabbing disinfectant on neil’s gashes once a WEEK. (Andrew? won’t let anyone else touch neil??)

who is in constant need of comfort? 

Both. They have a lifetime of hurt that needs untangling and andrew’s in there cutting through neil’s with scissors, neil’s talking until andrew forgets his

It’s symbiotic - their relationship is built on comfort, you know? it thrives on it

who gets more jealous? 

I think Andrew because Neil doesn’t….. know jealousy. Like he hasn’t met her. Someone could be straight up grabbing Andrew’s ass and Neil would be like huh. friendship is evolving so fast. Andrew is very quietly furiously jealous and it’s sort of? all the time? Like he got in so deep so fast that he’s jealous of the foxes, and people at the bar, and he’s jealous of like.. exy

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

Like.. for good? wtf neither NEXt

who will propose? 

Well ;)) I’ve ;)) written this ;)))) here

spoilers it’s andrew for practical purposes because romance is a foreign land that they will only visit if someone’s life hangs in the balance

who has the most difficult parents?

LMAO

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I think andrew makes a grab for neil’s hand if he’s stressed about wherever they are? LIke contact is actually a big part of the way andrew protects. But I think Neil obsesses over andrew’s hands and he’ll try it, and andrew usually doesn’t care enough to pull away. They both feel like 5% safer linked like that. Their armbands brush. It’s gay

who comes up for the other all the time? 

Like in conversation??? andrew. neil can’t shut up, next

who hogs the blankets? 

Andrew dude he’s contrary catch him in all black wearing knives huddled in a blanket fort with a pint of ben and jerry’s. Neil is a very still sleeper he doesn’t move like.. at all. Andrew’s a restless & light sleeper, and he’ll take advantage of any comfort he can get

who gets more sad? 

hi they’re always sad… sorry about it…. anyway

who is better at cheering the other up? 

Andrew’s better because he doesn’t like. try. Not in any obvious, quantifiable way, anyway. He gives neil space when he needs it and coddles him when he needs it. He’s a hand on the back of his neck. He’s a force of nature that Neil gets so caught up in that he forgets, for a second, that he’s living on borrowed time

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

lmao

who is more streetwise?

I gotta say neil bc I think he’s got like a catalogue of personas and experiences inside him. Like I think he could successfully blend into a lot of situations, that’s straight up what kept him alive

who is more wise?

Andrew is brilliant tbh he’s got that eidetic memory and that understated intensity towards understanding things like I don’t think there’s a question you could ask that would stump him

who’s the shyest? 

define shy like neither of them they’re unrepentant bastards who’ll tell you exactly what they think of you. BUT i mean. Neil is the slowest moving glacier of emotional availability I’ve ever seen so like if you wanna call that shy then def him

who boasts about the other more? 

Again…. neil can’t shut the fuck up….. the amount of times he mouths off about having the best goalie in the world on their team in interviews,, wymack is grey

like actually neil is gobsmacked by andrew and he EXPECTS that everyone else be too

who sits on who’s lap? 

neil sits on andrew’s bye he loves to be held up