#anisylum

[haikyuuhimbosandhypebeasts]

Amaranth

Hello! Welcome to my once in a blue moon post! This is the sequel of Heliotrope- or rather, prequel! The end is after you’ve recovered from what happens in Heliotrope, so if you’d like to, do give that a read!^^

Another Anilysium collab. Prompt I chose was “You’ve always been mine” but I tweaked it a little, it’s basically the same though.

Ship: Tsukishima x M!Reader (the gender doesn’t matter much but the male gendered term is used at the end)

Genre: Angst, hurt comfort

Trigger/Content Warnings: near death experience, suicide, discussion of all that kind of thing, Reader also previously tried to kill himself, it’s fluffy in some parts but boy does it hurt in the beginning, Reader ruins Tsukishima’s uniform, this all takes place during Tsukishima’s third year, they also both get punked by the ocean so if you have a discomfort with that do be careful!

Word Count: 1.8k

Masterlist: Here you go!

Sand clung to skin and the harsher rays of light that usually cascaded and burnt you had died away into a fading tangerine glow. You perched comfortably on the sand, taking note of the undulating waves- they were like you in the sense that while you could crash down hard on the opposition, you would shy away in a fragile manner when faced with gentle treatment.

You were scared of love, really.

Perhaps it was that you felt you weren’t worth such luxuries that you found it hard to make friends through your first few years of high school. Perhaps it was trying to push people away because you were afraid yet alarmingly aware of your mortality. Perhaps it was something else entirely, something you weren’t quite ready to come to terms with.

But here you were…

What you did know was that you weren’t alone in the violent struggle through high school to make friends while you had your walls up. Next to you was someone you never thought you’d share your favorite place with; in any terms you found this boy appalling with his behavior. So appalling, you saw yourself in the way he closed himself off and cut those close with tongue lashings. You knew this only through another friend who took issue with him as you went to another school in an entire other prefecture.

Words mauled their way out from your throat, breaking the silence between you and Tsukishima Kei.

“I won’t ask you why you tried to do what you did today. But I will ask if there’s anyone you can talk to in your life.”

You were still trembling from what had happened hours ago, but you knew he needed comfort first and foremost…

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You walked past the blonde as he had stepped off a bridge, down a height into oncoming traffic, with the intent to end his own life.

But fortunately, you had snapped his wrist into your own and hauled him up- his thin and cold frame relied on yours as you prevented him from finally doing what he’d planned. You stumbled backward with your combined weight. Your eyes stung unbearably as you cried in delayed fear, hot tears warming your windburnt face like a soothing balm. Tsukishima was frozen, face against your chest, like he wasn’t sure if his suicide attempt had actually worked. His glasses fell and shattered in the traffic… but he was up here still?

Finally he looked at you with wide gold eyes and his expression melted into one of dismay- not anger as you had expected. His nose crinkled as his eyes watered and he shoved you,

“Why did you have to be in Sendai right now…?”

You didn’t have an answer for him, still caught up in the panic that he could have died moments ago. You held him against your form, shaking.

He took your silence in stride and slowly wound his thin arms around you.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

“No, there isn’t.”

You took him to this beach to talk about it, as you knew no one would be around.

“You know, I’ve tried to kill myself too,” you smiled sadly, eyes now focusing on the hues in the horizon. You saw the way his posture changed in your peripherals- some kind of visceral reaction.

“You never would’ve guessed, would you have, Tsukishima Kei?” You turned to look at him, wry expression plain in the way your eyes crinkled in pain. He clammed up when you looked at him, then ran a hand through his hair and dismissively looked to the sky.

“I don’t think you can guess someone is suicidal, really…” he muttered.

“Mm,” you hummed in response.

The ocean spoke for you both, reaching out to touch your outstretched legs. You nearly jumped at the cold sea water soaking your jeans.

“Oh, that sucks,” Tsukishima said hollowly at your state.

“Yeah, no shit… wet jeans SUCK,” you kick at the ocean as if to fight it or punish it for soaking you. You unconsciously glanced at Tsukishima.

He was fixated on the glittering sea, wheat blonde hair hosting an ethereal glow courtesy of the dying sunshine casting over him. His expression was stuck in a numb neutral one, but his lips quirked up in the corners subtly when he noticed your discomfort in your wet jeans.

… you’re not doing your job as this introvert’s government assigned himbo.

You let out a little huff, then stood up.

“It feels nice out.”

Tsukishima watched you with a curious expression.

You shrugged off your jacket and tossed it far, where the ocean wouldn’t dare touch it.

“Well, I’m going for a swim.”

“… huh?”

You approached the ocean, submerging yourself in the nearly ice cold water.

Tsukishima sputtered our your surname and scrambled forward in an attempt to stop you. You laughed when he entirely missed and landed on his hands and knees in the sand.

“Come on, the water’s fine!”

“I- n- ??????” He just seemed confused, then watched you approach again.

“If you won’t come in by yourself, then I’ll do it.”

You hauled all of the 6’3” Tsukishima up into your arms, ignoring his flailing and struggling. You started your trek into the ocean until the waves were lapping at your stomach, then you dipped the blonde in your arms straight into the water.

His first instinct, of course, was to punch you. You laughed at his weak jab to your chest, then stood him up in the water, pulling him close so he was still warm.

“TsuKei.”

He looked at you begrudgingly, face dyed pink from the way he exhausted himself fighting against you.

“Do you feel the ocean around you?” You glanced around both of you.

“… yeah.”

“Do you feel the warmth of the sunset?”

He let out a hum of confirmation.

“These are moments of life you would never experience again in death, you wouldn’t ever see these wonderful moments again.”

He set his forehead against your shoulder.

“… I don’t care. I just wanted it to stop hurting, I wanted to care about things again.” He grumbled.

You splashed his side, “Would you like to try giving life another chance?” You stepped back so to look Tsukishima over, “You know, I’m not religious, but I very much believe in fate. I think someone or something sent me here today, someone brought me here to help you, to remind you that there is always more.”

His expression was twisted in pain, “… I don’t believe you.”

“Can you give me a shot? A chance to explain myself, I mean,” you grin, trying your hardest to convince him.

“… Alright.”

“Awesome. Thank you for letting me show you life is worth it, TsuKei,” you leant in and kissed his forehead.

His breath caught in his throat.

…

Then you knocked him fully into the water. He got up and sputtered.

“You asshole! I’m still in my uniform, this is hand wash only! It’s gonna be messed up!”

“I’ll pay for another one, Tsukishima Kei, you should live for now. Or else I’m gonna knock you in the water again.”

His eyes widened, then he smirked and grabbed your shin and tugged.

You slipped and fell into the water as well, feigning surprise with a high pitched squeal. A look of victory crossed his face, then he looked to the horizon in regret.

Suddenly you were both engulfed by the ocean, sent spiraling out to shore and struggling for breath under the oppressive ocean. Your body tumbled out into the dunes and you wheezed out a breath.

Fortunately, you were both only under for a moment, so there was no real risk of either of you drowning.

Unfortunately, though, Tsukishima was shoved on top of you by the ocean, as if mocking the situation. You stared up at him in surprise and he looked down at you with a mix of amusement and horror.

You should’ve probably been caught up on how you were both now completely soaked (not your plan), there was sand in your socks (definitely not the plan), and now you really didn’t have the upper hand in this situation. You had to balance things out somehow, so you just let the first thing that came to mind slip out…

“Take me to dinner first, holy shit.”

Tsukishima grimaced at your comment, “Ew.”

You laughed and pushed him up so you could at least try to get the sand out from your hair. He perched up on his knees. Tsukishima’s face was flushed as he wiped the sand off the elbows of his shirt.

“… hey TsuKei.”

He glanced up, a mix of annoyed and embarrassed, acknowledging you.

“Let me be your shelter in these hard times. Let’s exchange phone numbers.”

He sighed a bit, then looked over at your blazer, then back to you, “My phone was in my pocket. Unless you snatched it earlier.”

“You’re picking up on my tricks already?!” You asked, faux-surprised. You walked over to your jacket and offered his phone to him.

“… alright, (L/N), I’ll try to come to you if I need anything…”

You smiled and rested your arm around his shoulders, leading him back to the sidewalk before the beach, “Then I’ll walk you home.”

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Seven years later you both stood out on the beach during the sunset, watching two kids run around like the entities of chaos they were.

“So, TsuKei, do you regret letting me show you life was worth it? Or are you grateful?” You leaned into your husband’s shoulder.

“Don’t make me say it… of course I’m grateful, you asshole…” he blushed and turned, hiding behind longer locks of that familiar wheat blonde hair.

“Ooh! So mean to me still and we’ve been married for how long?”

“Shut up…” his ears flushed pink. He was still so easy to embarrass. One of the little girls playing runs up to you and grabs your pant leg, and you look down.

“Dad! I found a shell!” She showed a seashell she was so proud of. The way she smiled was so similar to you, there was no doubt at the end of the day she was your daughter. Your gaze wandered over to Isaka, your other daughter, who was staring at the ocean as if it was personally insulting her.

“… thinking of something?” Kei asked you, watching Isaka as well.

“Just how I’m so happy that you wound up being mine… I think I won the lottery as far as partners go. You’re all I wanted, haha…” you look away nervously, hiding from the reality of such a serious confession.

“… did you ever think I wasn’t going to be yours?” He asked gently.

“… there were a few moments, yeah.”

“Really… I think I’ve always been yours, ever since I landed in your arms those years ago.”

Your hand held his tighter.

Want more good fic? Look at our collab’s masterlist!

[ronnie-azumane]

Flower Rings

Hello everyone! I'm here with another Anisylum collab! This is the first time writing for my OG anime husband, so please go easy on me. But yeah! I hope y'all enjoy and check out the other works from the other creators participating!

CW: Abuse/beating, fluffy hurt/comfort, ATTACK ON TITAN MANGA SPOILERS, mentions of trauma, suicide, and death.

Life in the ghetto wasn’t a walk in the park. Sure, life could be worse, (Y/N) could be going hungry at night, slowly turning into skin and bones. (Y/N) could be shivering the night away in a flimsy tent with a single blanket to keep warm.

Although it’s a little hard to be grateful for what you have when it feels like the oppressor is always watching your every move.

It doesn’t take a genius to see the lack of justice in these ghettos provided by the Marleyan regime, however, young (Y/N) didn’t pay attention to her oppressors as much, they’re only a child after all. Why would they even want to be concerned about politics when the neighbors are playing a game of kickball?

Almost like clockwork, every week at precisely 5pm, the children born in the ghetto would gather in a courtyard and play kickball, with the ball being an old ball accidentally thrown over the fence years ago and the bases marked by old linens.

Kids of all ages gathered as usual at the court yard to divide out the teams and begin their game of ball. (Y/N) wasn’t the youngest there, but at seven years old, they were still young and scrawny, so it was no surprise that (Y/N) was one of the last ones picked.

(Y/N) sighed in relief, however, when they saw that Reiner was on their team. Reiner was three years older than (Y/N), and pretty much tied to their hip. Since both their mothers were friends growing up, they always had playdates together, playing with various figures and creating these elaborate plots to go along with them.

“We’re on the same team? Yes!” Reiner celebrates, jumping around excitedly as any ten year old would.

“You’re only celebrating because you’re too chicken to face me,” (Y/N) teased, sticking their tongue out.

A succession of ‘am not’s and ‘am to’s was promptly stopped when one of the older kids shouted that the game was about to start. Team Black would be kicking first while Team White would pitch.

(Y/N)’s favorite part of the game was kicking, so finding out that the Black Team was kicking first was music to their ears. They ran to the line, getting as close to the front as they could. Reiner held back, as he preferred catching the ball and running fast to get someone out.

(Y/N) was finally up to kick. Team Black had an out and kids on second and third base. If they scored, their team would get their first point.

The ball bounced a slight bit as it made its way toward (Y/N). (Y/N) wound back their leg and hit the ball back, aiming in between the second and third base. The ball flew and (Y/N) sprinted to first base.

What (Y/N) failed to realize was that Jameson, the eight year old boy that had a personal goal of making every day miserable for (Y/N), was waiting by first base.

As they ran toward the base, Jameson positioned himself to where his foot would ‘accidently’ get in the way of (Y/N)’s footing. Sure enough, (Y/N) stepped on his foot, causing them to lose their balance and fall to the ground before hitting the base.

“What the hell, (Y/N), you stepped on my foot!” Jameson shouted, landing a kick in (Y/N)’s side. (Y/N) yelped in pain as they curled into themself.

“You put your foot there on purpose,” (Y/N) sniffled as pain-filled tears leaked from their eyes.

“So what if I did? You still should have avoided it,” Jameson landed another kick to their side.

Reiner, who was zoned out looking at a bee buzzing around, snapped back to reality when he heard (Y/N) yelp in pain in the distance. Before he could think, he found himself running over to the two and punching Jameson square in the face.

Before Jameson could retaliate, Reiner picked up (Y/N) from the ground and ran away from the game, carrying them on his back. Deciding it was not worth the effort, Jameson let them run off as he got back to his game, but not before the team captain of the day switched him to outfield as punishment.

With (Y/N) on his back, Reiner ran to their self proclaimed happy place, if you could call anywhere in the ghetto happy. Near the entrance gate, there was a patch of grass where wildflowers grow, giving them a taste of the natural world that was unknown to them within the walls of the ghetto. He set them down and plopped next to their shuttering frame.

“How are you feeling, (Y/N), are you hurt? Do we need to go to the doctor?” Reiner asked.

“I’m hurt, but I don’t want to go to the doctor.”

“Are you still afraid that the doctor is going to give you a shot?” Reiner teased.

“Shut up! Needles are scary!” (Y/N) whined, causing Reiner to giggle.

Soon enough, the pain in (Y/N)’s side began to fade, and they focused themselves on making a flower crown while Reiner watched the Marleyan soldiers outside the gate train.

“My mama wants me to be a warrior, but I’m not too sure that's what I want to do,” Reiner sighed, lying all the way back on his back.

“How come? Isn’t becoming a warrior one of the best things an Eldian can do for Marley?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yeah, but that would mean I would have to work really hard, while buttheads like Jameson would get to play and make fun of you. It wouldn’t be fair!”

“Why are boys like Jameson so mean anyway? My mommy told me that it just meant that he liked me, but why would someone be mean to someone they liked?” (Y/N) asked.

“Is that a thing?” Reiner asks.

“That’s what mommy says,” (Y/N) finished their flower crown and unceremoniously flopped it onto Reiner’s head, earning a giggle from him. “I wouldn’t want to marry a guy like Jameson, I would want to marry a guy like you, Reiner, who’s nice to me.”

“Then how about we make a promise?” Reiner asked.

“A promise?”

“Yeah, like, we promise to marry each other now, and once we get big we actually do it?” Reiner’s cheeks were now bright red.

“Yeah! I like that! I promise to marry you, Reiner,” (Y/N) extended a pinky out.

Reiner crudely plucked a flower from the ground and tied the stem around (Y/N)’s finger. Reiner’s fingers were chubby and unskilled, so the flower ring didn’t turn out as pretty as the crown, yet (Y/N) still stared at it.

“And I promise to marry you, (Y/N).”

XXX

Reiner ended up joining the Warriors a few years later, to the dismay of (Y/N). The flower ring had since shriveled up beyond repair, but (Y/N) refused to let go of their promise, thinking that if the flower stayed in their possession, it would guarantee Reiner’s safe return home.

However, the mission that was estimated to take the four warriors a year or two to complete turned into a major failure with rumors stating that only one of them was making it home. However, (Y/N) didn’t have the time to mourn her lost friend, Marley was still causing conflict in both the battle front and the home front.

It wouldn’t be until after the Rumbling ended when (Y/N) would meet up with Reiner again. He was in the area negotiating peace with some other nations, and decided a late lunch and catch-up session with his childhood friend was in order.

“So, how was going through puberty like on an island without modern medicine?” (Y/N) asked shamelessly.

“What happened to hello?” Reiner asked, causing (Y/N) to erupt in laughter.

“I’m just sad I didn’t get to witness voice-crack Reiner,” (Y/N) wiped a tear from their eye, causing Reiner to groan.

They then began to catch up, retelling all their experiences from the past thirteen years. Reiner went into detail as to what it was like training with the man who almost killed all of humanity, his trauma, and even his suicide attempt while (Y/N) retold moments of agony in the ghetto, their dad getting drafted for one of the countless wars, and even confessed that they and Jameson dated at one point.

“You! And him!” Reiner stuttered.

“Apparently my mom was right, Jameson pretended he hated me because he couldn’t decipher his own feelings. Dumped his ass a while ago though, he started spending all his money on alcohol.”

“So I’m assuming you’re not seeing anyone?” Reiner asked.

“Not at the moment, why do you ask?”

“Well, (Y/N), I may have had ulterior motives to this lunch,” Reiner pulled out a small box from his pocket and set it on the table, inviting (Y/N) to open it up. Inside was a ring, with the centerpiece shaped as the flower that he tied onto (Y/N)’s finger all those years ago.

“What is this?” (Y/N) stuttered.

“You probably don’t remember, but one day, I gave you a flower ring with a promise. I’m sure it’s long gone by now.”

“Yeah, lost it in the rumbling. Are you really proposing to me right now?”

“No no no! This is just a reminder of that promise we made that afternoon. That promise helped me push through all the hardships I faced,” Reiner flailed his arms a bit, getting slightly flustered.

“So, a promise ring?”

“I promised I’d marry you, didn’t I?” Reiner asked as he pulled out his pinky. Smiling, (Y/N) slipped on the ring and interlocked their pinky with his.

“You did, Reiner, you did.”

[haikyuuhimbosandhypebeasts]

Halloween Trope

It has come to my attention I have been misspelling Anilysium this whole time. My bad. Anyways, here’s the collab! First time EVER writing anything Demon Slayer, I hope I did Rengoku some justice ^^

Shoutout to my friend who has Rengoku as a comfort character- I know you’ve been going through a lot this year and I really cherish our friendship, simp.

Ship: Rengoku Kyojuro x gn!reader

Genre: Fluff, Romance

Word Count: 963

Trigger/Content Warnings: Swearing, Pre-Established Relationship, mention of snakes, tiny horror bits in this one.

Masterlist: Click me!

You stood in the neck of the woods, feeling the autumn chill carve into your oversensitive nerves. This haunted walk wouldn’t normally have much of an effect on you if you knew where the hell in the path you were.

But damn did Mitsuri have you by your nads. She was one of your best friends and she happened to drop her little snake charm in the woods the first run through of the path. When she realized it was gone she turned to you with that troubled expression, bottom lip practically wobbling as she asked you if you’ve seen it.

Normally you’d tell her to go through the stupid trail by herself again, but it was starting to get colder and her costume wasn’t honestly the best for cold temperatures. Besides, you two didn’t go off the trail, so it should be pretty obvious on the ground, right?

Wrong. You’ve been analyzing the pavement so hard the cracks are embedded in your mind. Even more jarring is it seems the hired cast for this stupid haunted trail has called it quits for the night and returned home.

You notice the familiar glitter of the snake charm on the ground. You kneel to scoop it up, checking your surroundings all the while.

It’s a little less scary being surrounded by actors with prop axes and fake blood all over them than being alone on this trail. You’re much more susceptible to an actual attack. Not by a human- not even an animal- but rather a large figure with outstretched wings towering over your form. You unconsciously grip onto the studded snake charm firmly in your warm fleshy hand, eyes widening as you look behind you into wide, feral eyes.

Your heart must nearly stop for a moment before the figure asks cheekily, “Did I scare ya?”

You smack your boyfriend in the gut with your free hand, earning a hearty laugh in reply followed by a few apologies. You hiss at him, lacking much heat of anger, “Kyojuro, you ass- I wasn’t scared!”

“Ahh, you’re actually mad! I’m sorry!” He apologizes through his mirth. One of his built arms loops around you and hoists you up until you’re standing against him. His body heat encases you, staving off the autumn chill that had crept over you formerly.

You play with the snake charm in your palm as Kyojuro looks around with that sweet smile on his face. You’ve only been dating for maybe two weeks, but you were both friends for long before then- almost as long as you and Mitsuri had been friends. It was mid-conversation when he blurted out how highly he thinks of you, how he thought he was in love with you. He seemed to have to register what he said before he flushed a bit, telling you something along the lines of “I’m not sorry for saying that, but I did want to say it at another time.”

Since then you’d expressed you’ve always found him charming and it was a few days later you both officially went on your first date.

Kyojuro caught your attention, his smile fading slightly as he fixed his stare at something behind you, “(Y/N), look.”

You immediately turned around once you recognized he wasn’t going to play a practical joke on you and you looked down to see a feral dog sniffing your direction cautiously. You froze up a bit, unsure if it was maybe a formerly domesticated dog or perhaps some weird coyote. Given the area, neither would surprise you.

Instinctively you turned to it, causing the dog to jump back. It’s ears turned back and it looked away from your eyes, down at your feet.

“Don’t be scared- that’s not a coyote. It’s a feral dog, I’ve seen her around here a few times,” Kyojuro reassured you once he got a better look at the animal. You leaned into him in relief as the dog grabbed some of the food garbage that lay near you two and bolted back into the thick of the woods.

“Ahh, I’m happy.”

You cautiously glance back at him, suddenly becoming aware as your hand was caught in his.

You sputter for a few moments, face tinting red and heating up and you almost pull your hand away. You don’t exactly get reasonable words out before sputtering out something closely resembling, “I didn’t do that!”

“What do you mean? You held my hand first!” He utterly beams as he points out your former actions. Your fingers flex in the intertwined embrace of his calloused ones.

As you both return to the parking lot where Mitsuri is chatting away like nothing is amiss, you thumb over the rough texture of her snake charm to remind yourself what you went back into the woods for anyways. Once her mint green eyes fell on your’s and Kyojuro’s figures, she bolted forward to you both.

“Ahh, for a minute I thought I sent you into a death trap of some kind! I got worried.”

“It was a little hard to see in the dark,” you start. Kyojuro chimes in.

“There was a wolf dog! I scared (y/n), it was really cute!”

You almost swat him again in the stomach, only being held back by your hand of choice being held in his. He notices your attempt and laughs even more, holding your hand out and away from your bodies.

“An attack! You just tried to attack me!” He laughs, “Scary!”

Mitsuri watched your bickering with a content smile, knowing you both were having a good time and that her request didn’t ruin your Halloween experience in its entirety.

Want more Halloween theme SFW fics from lovely creators? Click me!

[haikyuuhimbosandhypebeasts]

Snow Fell

A/N: Back at it again with the Anilysium collab posts! Took a lil bit out of me since I got hyper fixated on YTTD again along with moving house, but I figured I’d try to keep my writing spirit alive. Along with this I’ll be making something for a very special someone for Secret Santa and I have an entry in the NSFW collab this month as well. Keep an eye out if you’re a Yanfei fan. Now have some vaguely holiday themed angst.

Ship: Beidou x gn!reader

Genre: Angst (no comfort.)

Trigger/Content Warnings: One sided feelings, reader is a little creepy sometimes, a crewmate looks at you in a creepy way as well, alcohol consumption (recreational).

Word Count: 565

Masterlist: Click here for holiday cheer from fellow authors!

“I’ll drink to that!” A merry sailor said cheerily, wrapping an arm around his meek mate’s shoulder and lifting his mug high in the air. Before his more experienced comrades could comment on his joviality and hush him, though, he threw the creamy, festive beverage in his cup to the back of his throat.

“That was my drink, asshat,” you mumbled disdainfully at your crewmate. He seemed to not hear you, so you turned your attention to the scenery outside.

It was beautiful for the holidays, really. Glittering snow stacked on top of cobblestone paths, dyed orange from street lanterns- it looked just like some scene out of a landscape painting. You weren’t often free on the holidays- to be honest, you can’t remember when you last had a break on a day when most things were closed. You often ran errands for the captain of The Crux, Beidou. This wasn’t out of laziness or anything, but she was rather a busy woman who could be out slaying wicked beasts with her massive weaponry and electro vision and you wanted to help her any way you could. This came out in little favors here and there- one day you caught her when she was passingly mentioning how hungry she was under her breath while you were docked at Liyue and you had brought her some spicy dish from the Wanmin restaurant. You remembered the way her face lit up subtly upon seeing the food. The memory soon turned into your motivation.

You craved approval from Beidou, her fruity voice cascading smoothly to your waiting ears. You longed to feel her pat your back in approval or notice you more than the rest of your crew. You started to find yourself jealous of whoever she snuck off to see in the middle of the night for “business meetings.”

But to be honest, it was entirely your fault you felt this way. Your longing was starting to change you, to reflect in your morals of treating everyone equally- your bias was plain as day anymore. I mean, who else would you be memorizing dates and dishes and outfits and occasions for?

The drink thief from earlier eyed you conspicuously, gaining attention from his meek partner, making a note to drag along the curve of your waist before landing on your face.

“Y/n, are you thinkin’ about the captain?” He asked bluntly.

“D-don’t say that!” The partner hissed, then looked up at you with a nervous gaze, “Sorry, y/n. He’s had too much.”

“Naw, I haven’t!” He hissed, “‘m just worried. They look miserable without Captain Beidou bein’ here.”

“Shut your mouth,” you said impulsively, not thinking about the position it put you in to deny it so quickly and vehemently.

You faced the window again begrudgingly, trying to hide the expression of guilt and bitterness that displayed fairly plainly on your face.

The worst part was that he was entirely correct. You wanted the security of seeing Captain Beidou next to you for tonight, not possibly enjoying festivities with someone else. A wave of shame washed over you when you thought of how selfish you were acting with someone as great as the Captain herself. You were just a measly crewmate, you had no right to try and think of her like that.

The fight you had with yourself internally only grew louder and louder.

Snow fell.

Want some good holiday themed sfw fic? Here’s that masterlist again!

[haikyuuhimbosandhypebeasts]

>I have no idea how the fuck to format this on mobile. Also yes this is another Anisylum collab! I love doing them because the prompts are 👑. This time the prompt was Eavesdropping!

>This is the part two to “As An Object”

>Pairing: Ushijima x Reader

>1.4 k words.

>Content Warnings: Morning After, Reader has a mental breakdown, angstish, hurt-comfort, Wakatoshi says sex so I mean have fun, Tendou is a supportive best friend, not my best writing tbh but my beta reader said everything sounded fine, Mina from the last part is mentioned.

>Masterlist?: Right here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning came burning in your senses. You woke up in a bed that did not belong to you- a bed occupied by both you and-

Your left hand roughly slapped the warm figure by you. Your bedmate rolls over to reaffirm who you are as well.

Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t someone easy to process bedding the night before. There was a half-asleep Ushijima Wakatoshi. You struggled to place your feelings bubbling up like scalding broth to your unprepared chest as he sleepily blinked at you.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, moving one of his warm hands to cup the side of your face.

Your face grew hot, and you immediately bolted out of the bed, not caring how the lack of blanket left you bare. Ushijima watched your face with widened eyes, finally waking up himself.

“... sorry, (y/n),” his voice was soft. The tense grit of his jaw, perhaps the hint of a crease to his brow- something about the expression on his face echoed hurt and you felt hesitation. Unbidden, you felt some part of yourself flourish to life past your normally viscous “mean girl” mask.

“It’s… okay. Can I use your bath?” You looked away, not wanting to show vulnerability to someone you thought you hated.

“... it’s past the kitchen, opposite of the front door.”

“Thank you.”

And with that, you left the bedroom in all your naked glory, a hair less confident than you’d hope to be around Ushijima.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ushijima sat at his dining table and gazed aimlessly at his phone, fingers absentmindedly drifting over the tablecloth.

As soon as his phone jumped to life with a call, he answered it so quickly Satori on the other end had to mentally recollect himself.

“That serious, huh, Wakatoshi,” he said, trying to keep some ounce of humor in his voice.

“I had sex with (y/n).”

The coffee Tendou was sipping rocketed itself out of his sinuses like lava out of a cartoon volcano, thankfully away from any innocent civilians of Paris and significantly away from his phone he *just* finished paying off.

“D-did you now?” A small disbelieving giggle bubbled out from the redhead, “You wanted to call me so seriously because you lost your virginity?”

“... No.”

“Eh?”

“She is… upset. She said she hates me.”

“Ohh… well, Wakatoshi, I’m sure you know after years of playing beside her that she’s pretty complex, right? That’s the vibe I got right away from her. Complex… and obviously in love with you,” Tendou mused about, unconsciously wiggling with happiness in his seat from hearing his best friend look over his romantic options. He just wants the best for Wakatoshi and he thought to himself that a relationship would certainly help with some of his lacking social skills.

“I still don’t see that.”

“Eh? She has to like you! She told me!”

“That was years ago.”

And Wakatoshi was right. It *was* years ago. You would know, you’d spend every year bitterly waiting for a time when he would look less busy or maybe a moment where you thought he could see you as an equal. But you could never tell that, and it hurt much less to villainize and hate him than recognize someone you saw everything you wanted in someone just wasn’t interested in you. It was a way to protect yourself from abandonment… that’s what your high school counselor had said. You wondered, as you stood around a corner with your towel clad back to a wall, listening in to a conversation you shouldn’t be listening to, what she would say now about the situation you were in.

“Wakatoshi, you’re not being yourself. The Wakatoshi I know doesn’t beat around the bush, yet for the past few months you’ve been either avoiding confronting her or you’re avoiding how you feel,” Tendou squinted into his iced coffee, scrutinizing it for an answer.

Ushijima traced an absent-minded pattern into the tablecloth again, “I am. She hates me, she told me.”

“She’s keeping herself safe since she’s waited so long. I almost understand- it’s easier to hate someone than get rejected in her eyes, I think. Mina told me something along the lines of a personality disorder? She said it sounds like one of those.”

Of course Mina and Tendou had a little confidant powwow to discuss your private feelings. What was this, gradeschool? See if you’ll ever talk to her about anything like this again. Still… you listened in, waiting for the call to end.

“Wakatoshi, it’s still a better bet to just tell her.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. Certainly your hopes were getting up about this…

“I can’t.”

“How about you acknowledge it, then? Just acknowledge how you feel and it should feel better. I do that sometimes and it makes me feel great!”

“... I am attracted to (y/n).”

Your breath felt heavy, this couldn’t be real. He can’t feel this way.

“And?”

“And… I want her to not hate me and be my partner.”

You grip your towel harder, legs growing a bit weak hearing those words.

“So?” Tendou pushed, humor never leaving the edge of his voice.

“So… I’ll tell her… that I don’t want her to hate me,” Ushijima managed out, not hiding what hurt and emotional exhaustion he could portray in his voice.

You clapped your hand over your mouth and gently slid to the floor, guilt gripping your chest in a vice and twisting it so harshly you thought you would pass out. He *did* see you as an equal. He *did* find you attractive. And you told him you hated him and saw him as nothing more than an object.

You did your best to hide an unattractive choke of a sob behind your palm. The rest of the conversation was hard for you to focus on as burning tears trickled from your eyes and down your face. It took years to build these walls up and to make a perfect façade others found attractive and yet it was being torn down and destroyed violently before you. Your other hand knotted itself in your freshly washed hair and pulled to alleviate the yearning for some form of penance for making someone you loved so much go through enough pain that they needed advice.

The euphoria of this acceptance- this discovery- was burned into you through the unforgiving blade of your self-hatred and inability to properly understand others. You hated what you did to Wakatoshi. You hated that you made someone better than you suffer. And you hated that no matter what, you had no idea how to make it better. The thrum of blood rushing to your head is deafening and your eyes are squeezed shut to hopefully make this episode end soon. Your breathing is so heavy and shaking, you feel dizzy and like you might pass out soon…

Your lean form was tugged into a strong chest. Your eyes shot open as you realized you were caught.

“... I’m sorry. I made you cry again,” the rumble of his voice soothed the burning static of your brain. You’d do anything to make this episode stop, but when you open your mouth to tell him how sorry you are, it comes out as a hysteric sob. You grip onto his shirt as it becomes incredibly hard to get your words out.

He gently rubs your back, eyes closed in a flinch at how you responded and the fear that you may never even look his way again choked him slightly.

Finally, you managed to speak again.

“I’m sorry, I’m so-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence without hiccuping. He doesn’t stop his soothing movements.

“I didn’t mean for you to hear that,” he states, unsure of how he should start explaining himself.

“No… I’m glad…” you wiped your eyes and tried to pull away from him, still trembling a bit from your episode, “I’m glad you like me. I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

He makes a sound of affirmation and holds you even tighter, hiding his face in your shoulder.

“If you want me to be your girlfriend, I will,” you clarify. His movements stop.

“Ah… it would make me very happy if you were, (y/n),” he said into your bare nape. You were unfamiliar with his newfound shyness, and you attempted to soothe him back by scratching the back of his head softly.

“Then I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine.”

[haikyuuhimbosandhypebeasts]

Heliotrope

Here’s my submission for the Forget Me Not collab for Anisylum! Please note the TW as it is VERY heavy. This piece is entirely SFW though!

Ship: Tsukishima Kei x GN! Reader Genre: Angst, but some fluff in some places. Word Count: 2.2k  Trigger/Content Warnings: near death experience, hospitalization, COVID-19, vomit mention, amnesia after hospitalization, a suicide attempt is briefly mentioned, swearing because this is by me Sexy Sexy Masterlist: here!

Sand clung to skin and the harsher rays of light that usually cascaded and burnt you had died away into a fading tangerine glow. You perched comfortably on the sand, taking note of the undulating waves- they were like you in the sense that while you could crash down hard on the opposition, you would shy away in a fragile manner when faced with gentle treatment. Perhaps it was that you felt you weren’t worth such luxuries that you found it hard to make friends through your first few years of high school. Perhaps it was trying to push people away because you were afraid yet alarmingly aware of your mortality. Perhaps it was something else entirely, something you weren’t quite ready to come to terms with. What you did know was that you weren’t alone in the violent struggle through high school to make friends while you had your walls up. Next to you was someone you never thought you’d share your favorite place with; in any terms you found this boy appalling with his behavior. So appalling, you saw yourself in the way he closed himself off and cut those close with tongue lashings. You knew this only through another friend who took issue with him as you went to another school in an entire other prefecture. Words mauled their way out from your throat, breaking the silence between you and Tsukishima Kei. “I won’t ask you why you tried to do what you did today. But I will ask if there’s anyone you can talk to in your life.” You didn’t understand yourself. Why would you say that…? You don’t remember anything like this at all… His response was equally incoherent and odd. “Okay, but I’ll kill you if you go back on it.” When you opened your mouth to reply to him, the ground around you suddenly reared up like a defensive serpent. A pillar of beach sand forced its way from the ground into your throat, suffocating and trapping your lungs in permanent fullness. You could only gag and cry, unable to even see Tsukishima past the torrent of sand breaking into your body with the intent to kill you slowly…

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You woke up once more in that dull grey-blue and white room with the only sounds you could properly process being the beep of a heart monitor somewhere behind you. You had managed to halfway curl into somewhat resembling the fetal position, but something kept making you cough and gag as your throat was caught. You move your hand to whatever is catching and about to make you vomit- a tube. This tube, you followed, was in your nose good and solid, and you felt it deep enough in your sinuses you didn’t dare try to pull it out. Moving your hands felt foreign like you had forgotten how to process being human and natural motions like that. You testingly ran your right hand down the tube, taking care to not tug and cause discomfort. Your other hand came to rest on your face. It was slick from sweat, likely due to whatever the fuck you just had a dream about. At the corner of your lips was another tube and when you followed where it led it was taped to the side of your face. You lick your lips and manage to almost fall into a haze until you see movement for the first time in what feels like forever. To be fair, it is one of the most jarring appearances of a person you’ve seen in your whole life to what you can recall. A person in a full-body hazmat suit enters your room through a door you hadn’t even processed was there, then greets you as casually as they can through a plague-resistant suit. “Hey there.” You squint at them. Yeah, you have no fucking idea who this cosplayer in a hospital is, and while you should probably be polite, you feel like you got ran over not once but twice.  You try to speak to them, but you can’t. You don’t have the air for it, it’s like you have no control over your breathing. Clarity washes over you. You’re hospitalized. These are tubes because you were asleep and weren’t breathing or eating right. The realization must show on your face because your nurse speaks up again. “Don’t worry about me too much, we’re just gonna check your vitals and if you feel up to it, we can see how you do without the ventilators.” You try to manage out a “whoopee”, which unimpressively comes out as some form of odd wheeze, and your nurse begins by grabbing the blood pressure cuff covered in protective plastic while they wear a sympathetic expression.

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Once you were off the ventilator, the nurse informed you about what had happened. Apparently, an ambulance was called when you were unresponsive and nearly blue in the face, sitting in front of your refrigerator with the door open. You were diagnosed with a severe case of COVID-19, something you had feared would wipe you out entirely and turn you past tense since its spread in your country. This fear wasn’t entirely irrational, either- you were immunocompromised and have been since you were a child. You grew up with being careful around others and hearing of a highly contagious new strain was something that filled you with so much paranoia you seriously considered quitting your current career and instead adopting a hermit lifestyle while completing college at home. Of course, such a thought was squashed by the slowly impending thought of rent, bills, due dates for assignments, and your bitch of a manager who lets people get close to you without a mask on. It’s not a big deal, (y/n), she once said to you. You wanted to shoehorn some tubes down her throat just to survive, see how that felt. It didn’t help that human resources wouldn’t listen to your complaint. They brushed it off since you were just a lowly sandwich maker at a chain sub place. If you had enough scraped together for lawyers right about now, they’d be totally fucked, you thought to yourself. Even more jarring is that it seemed you lost a handful of memories while in the hospital. You could remember basic outlines of people in your head- your very tall and incredibly testy roommate, your younger sister who wore glasses and was much smaller than you, and… a foggy memory of a man with messy black bedhead who had an arm wrapped around your shoulder. It hurt to think too hard. The doctor soon came by to give you test results, to check your vitals again, and to look over your records. He was a bit terse, but you can’t make the best judgments of people when they’re in plastic suits. “We’ll need to get you cleaned up by tomorrow and you should be able to head home,” he’d said, looking over your chart. You didn’t necessarily feel too ecstatic about your trip to your apartment. You remembered your roommate and how finicky he was, and you dreaded for him to belittle you over your condition. You dreaded it enough to even feel a knot of anxiety form in your stomach, wrenched in between your ribs without the intent of ever coming out. “We’ve already contacted uh…” The doctor squints at the screen, “Tsukishima… to come to pick you up tomorrow at noon. We’ll have care instructions printed out. You still have to quarantine for about a week more since your immune system isn’t at its most prime currently.” You agreed, it probably wasn’t a good recovery idea to make a couple of sammies for the public while you were recovering from a virus that had you intubated. He seemed grateful that you were lucid and cooperative, at least.

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You, predictably, didn’t sleep well after being in a medically induced haze for several days. Even more predictably, you found yourself awake from anxieties of the future. Tomorrow was only a few hours away, and then you’d be home. Home… what did that look like for you? The fog in your head was thick initially. You do remember coming home from classes at a different time than Tsukishima, how when you entered he’d often be reading over homework. You remembered how sometimes he would be in the shower and the scent of cheap green apple soap filled the living room connected to it. You remembered… You remembered holding his thin frame in your arms on a bridge, pulling him back from oncoming traffic. You remember how you both collapsed and how the cold autumn air stung your lungs. You remember wide golden eyes staring back at you, as tears slowly filled them, then his normally impartial voice breaking as he hiccuped a sob, “Why? Why did you have to be in Sendai right now?” You felt tears stinging your eyes and a lump form in your throat. You found yourself in distress of your new emotions. Maybe… maybe you can sleep this horrible feeling off. Maybe this fog in your head where you need to know how deep your relationship ran will lift once you get genuine sleep.

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Finally, a knock on the door encouraged you to rouse from your sleeping state. And eloquently, you spoke your true feelings in your sleep-deprived state,  “No.” You hear the doorknob turn and the door open. There’s a lack of a greeting from your nurse nor a quick apology from your doctor for interrupting your sleep. Actually, if you’re gonna use logic, what nurse or doctor is gonna wake up their peacefully sleeping patient in recovery? Thought of it being your doctor or nurse practically evaporates once the intruder has a seat on your bed. They still haven’t spoken, so now you’re remembering what tricks of self-defense you learned online to give this person a proper ass-kicking for getting way too close. You crack your hazy eyes open to get a look at where they’re sitting and you stop dead in your thoughts as wary gold eyes peer down at you. Your eyes widen out of reflex and butterflies bloom from your stomach at seeing what you now remember is your roommate. “I knew you were awake,” He said, a wry smile on his face. His expression was betrayed by his concerned gaze, though, “Wow, you look like shit.” You don’t know entirely why past his comment feeling not as an insult, but almost as a compliment, but you smile a little, “I feel like it too.” His expression doesn’t change. He runs a large calloused hand through the tresses of your hair, though, as if to soothe you. The doctor walked in and apologized for interrupting the moment between the two of you, unsure if it was something serious. You told him it was nothing because that’s what it was to you.

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The car ride wasn’t filled with the snarky banter you had been expecting. Instead, there was plentiful comfortable silence as Tsukishima drove. You didn’t know whether to be grateful or not for the silence- you still felt quite feeble and needed way more bed rest before you could get ready to do anything for anyone. Despite the wholesome silence, you felt those round gold eyes focus on you occasionally. And even though it was comfortable, you felt a melancholy twinge in the atmosphere as he inspected you. “I know you’ll give me shit for this… but you look like you’ve lost weight. I uh…” He gripped the steering wheel harder. You glanced over at him. A shade of baby pink dusted itself across his cheekbones and nose as he focused on the road. “I’m worried about you.” Fuck, there go those butterflies again. Something in you pushed to help- to comfort- but the logical side of your brain brought you to a halt. You’d weighed it in your head a couple of times. You two act closer than just roommates, and it’s not entirely clear how or why you got up to this point… but you had a solid hunch you might be dating this guy. Maybe? You closed your eyes and rested your head on the car door as you thought. You remember how sand clung to your body and you could hear the roaring of the sea. How you watched Tsukishima focus on the waves to regulate his breathing. You vaguely remember your words breaking away from your throat and catching the salty sea air. “Why don’t we stay together?” His lanky body stiffened, then he looked at you with disbelief. “... you wouldn’t want that. I’m fucking annoying and mean.” Your eyes creased with familiarity at the line. “Yeah? So am I. We can butt heads until we balance each other out.” It looked like he wanted to cry, but his pride wouldn’t let him cry in front of you anymore today. “I won’t ask you why you tried to do what you did today. But I will ask if there’s anyone you can talk to in your life,” you reached a careful hand over to rub his back, “Kei, if there isn’t, let me be that person.” You felt how his breath shuddered. To save his pride, you looked to the ocean and watched its hypnotic movements. After a few deep, shaky inhales and exhales, he replied. “I don’t understand why you’re being nice to me. Why you didn’t let me die. I will probably come back to this point in my life several times and you’re trying to say you’ll put up with it?” There was some bite to his tone, he was trying so hard to put up walls when he had no will to do so at the moment. How long had he pushed others away from being close? If he was anything like you… it was since grade school. “Let me be your support for when you’re in pain,” You tried once more, “I’m stubborn as shit so I know I won’t give up on you.” “You’re not getting it, you fucking idiot. I’m always in pain, that’s just been life,” he snapped bitterly, glaring at you now.  “Then I guess I’ll be by your side forever.” You’d said it without thinking that day. It was like the ocean grew quieter with your words as if even Poseidon became interested in your proposition. You felt heat rise to your face at the implications of what you said. He stared at you with raised eyebrows and the slightest hint of a champagne pink hue on his face. He averted his eyes almost in a panic and watched the ocean again, suddenly very aware of his own expression. You carefully peered over at him again to see he’d only grown redder, now mirroring you. “You… don’t mean that,” He said as if it were a statement. “I do. You’re a good person inside, but you’re defensive and hurt. I’ve seen that from you in the past and I’ve learned more about you today. I want to be there for you as long as you’ll have me. Will you let me?”  He picked at the sand as if thinking it over for a moment. There was a brief pause as waves rolled over each other in front of both of you, the sound of their impact being the only thing to grace your ears. Finally, his cynical tone returned as he regained some form of his prior composure. “Okay, but I’ll kill you if you go back on it.”

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“Hey. (Y/n), we’re home,” Tsukishima gently shook your shoulder to rouse you from your sleep. You opened your eyes slowly and groaned out a swear. Tsukishima felt a hesitant smile creep up his face as he opted to just try and maneuver you into your shared home himself. He remembered how waking up was hard for you. Once he opened the passenger door you nearly fell out onto the pavement, only saved by your seatbelt and the giant himself. Your face fell awkwardly into his hip, and you grumbled at the interruption to your sleep. “You sleep like the fucking dead, christ,” he mused out loud and sat you up so it was safe to unbuckle your seatbelt. He urged you to get up more- it wasn’t that you were heavy, he just really wasn’t in the place to lift you at the moment and didn’t even know how to go about it. Regardless, he held you up by a shoulder and crouched to make it easier for you both to walk to the apartment. In some part of your sleep, you began to speak, “Kei.” He kept his gaze trained forward at the front door and struggled to grab his keys from his pocket, “Yes?” “Are we married?” Kei dropped his keys, then shot you a look of concern, “... No…?” He had to hold himself back from saying not yet, unsure of what you were getting to. He reached down to grab his keys and he focused back on the door. “Why are you asking?” He unlocked the door and threw it open, getting you both inside finally. He set you on your couch and sat on the floor in front of you. You looked at him suspiciously, now roused from your sleep. The only thing on your mind was that dream- it had to be a memory! You refused to understand it as anything but that. You prodded, “On the beach, I told you I’d be by your side forever.” He seemed to weigh your thoughts heavily in his mind, “... did you forget about us?” You didn’t expect what felt like cold water to hit your back so hard and so suddenly at his suggestion. He didn’t seem hurt at the thought, instead, he found himself occupied with your reaction. His hand reached out to rub the side of your face as you looked at him with wide, guilty eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Your sister told me this kind of thing might happen…” His calloused thumb traced over your lip, and he offered a smile the best he could, “I’ll try to explain it.” Tsukishima explained that what you remembered happened about four years ago and you had been living together ever since. He motioned to photos on the walls of the two of you and people who you could just hardly remember. When you rested your index finger on an individual who was much scrawnier than most of the people there, sitting on the bench with you and watching you speak with admiration, Tsukki put his hand over yours. “That’s your sister. She took most of these pictures, but she usually sits next to you when you have a space available.” You nodded and closed your eyes. You began to remember summers you spent with her in childhood and her yelling at you to do your homework when you bothered her as you got older. You smiled a bit. Once your eyes opened again, your finger traveled to possibly the tallest person in the room. He was big, but you remembered something warm and comfortable about that man… “That’s Kuroo. You both went to the same high school and you were in his friend group.” You both went on like that for a while until you’d cleared everyone in that picture. Once you did, you sat down to think over the new cluster of names you’d picked up. “... when you promised you’d be here with me forever, did you remember what I promised to you?” Kei asked as he sat next to you. “No… I just remember what happened on the beach up until you threatened to kill me if I took back my promise.” “Oh, right. I was going through that phase,” He seemed displeased with the comment. You found it almost funny but refrained from laughing for his sake. He continued, in a quieter tone, “I promised that if something happened to you, that I would always be here for you, too. That I’d get you back into shape.” His larger hand gently entwined with yours, “... so if you remember that promise and you’ll have me, I’d love to marry you once you get your memories back. … If you want to. I-” You cut him off with a hug to his side, trembling a bit as your emotions got the better of you. You smiled up at him. “I can’t promise I’ll be better fast, and I still feel like several trucks ran through me at once… but I’m happy,” you managed out. You didn’t know what your face looked like right about now and you didn’t have the nerve to look up into Kei’s glasses to check your reflection. He wrapped his arms around you in return, pressing the side of his face against your head. “Please, don’t give me an answer yet. You’re not in the right mental state. I’ll wait for you until you’re ready.” You ran your hands up and down his back. You weren’t exactly afraid of remembering things, but you were quite anxious for what tomorrow might bring for both of you. Despite that, you felt safe recovering in his arms, and you were sure you’d feel that way for a long time.

Have a link to the sexy sexy masterlist down here as well. Unless you’re done reading, then have a good day. But if you’re not there’s some fire stuff in that bad boy.