#anne tagonist

[genderoutlaws]

Art featured on the cover of Unapologetic: The Journal of Irresponsible Gender (1997)

[spilladabalia]

[themotherofrevelation]

If a girl is lucky enough to receive any sex education, she will be taught the biological basics. She’ll learn that men have penises and testicles and produce sperm and women have vaginas and uterii and produce ova. She’ll learn that when a man and a woman have sex, the man inserts his penis into the woman’s vagina until he ejaculates. She’ll learn that the semen in the ejaculate will render her vulnerable to pregnancy so she will have to protect herself by using a hormonal or a barrier contraceptive. Hormonal contraception is preferable because barrier methods such as condoms, while safer for women, apparently reduce sensation for men which is obviously a no-no. It’s much better that a woman take a pill every day for her entire reproductive lifespan, or get a painful injection every 12 weeks, or have a copper rod inserted into her uterus, or a silicone rod implanted into her arm. She probably won’t learn that 3 out of 4 women never orgasm from vaginal intercourse. She almost definitely won’t learn how women do achieve orgasm. She’ll learn her place as a receptacle.

Ann Tagonist, “Let Me Slip Into Something A Little Less Comfortable”

[sapphosarchive]

“If a girl is lucky enough to receive any sex education, she will be taught the biological basics. She’ll learn that men have penises and testicles and produce sperm and women have vaginas and uterii and produce ova. She’ll learn that when a man and a woman have sex, the man inserts his penis into the woman’s vagina until he ejaculates. She’ll learn that the semen in the ejaculate will render her vulnerable to pregnancy so she will have to protect herself by using a hormonal or a barrier contraceptive. Hormonal contraception is preferable because barrier methods such as condoms, while safer for women, apparently reduce sensation for men which is obviously a no-no. It’s much better that a woman take a pill every day for her entire reproductive lifespan, or get a painful injection every 12 weeks, or have a copper rod inserted into her uterus, or a silicone rod implanted into her arm. She probably won’t learn that 3 out of 4 women never orgasm from vaginal intercourse. She almost definitely won’t learn how women do achieve orgasm. She’ll learn her place as a receptacle.”

— Ann Tagonist, “Let Me Slip Into Something A Little Less Comfortable”

[probablybadrpgideas]

Some people think that Evil Campaigns are fun and a refreshing break from the standard dungeon crawl, others that they're just an excuse for trolls to attack other PCs.

Compromise by allowing Evil Campaigns but only if every character is called Anne Tagonist.

[spotty-bee]

Yoh, instead of calling it ‘Corrupted Anne’ or ‘Evil Anne’ or ‘Angel of Death’ I realized what we should be call this Au/Ua.

Anne-tagonist

[fermented-writers-block]

Man, with just one month left to go until S3 of Amphibia starts, I cant help but be both excited and nervous at all the signs that Anne might become the final antagonist - or should I say Annetagonist lol - of the show and that Sasha might end up sacrificing herself in some way at the end to stop the Night.

I know @flamelight-safekeep-bossfight knows what I’m talking about, but anyone else feeling this kind of anticipation too?

[canmom]

It’s kind of eerie - and depressing - just how similar this 2002 trans womens’ zine is to stuff we’re still arguing about today. i feel like there’s more to say about that lack of ‘memory’ but... anyway. it’s an interesting read.

[lizshine74]

Theme post for October: Fear

I’m big into decorating for Halloween. And dressing up. For a number of years I’ve picked something that plays on a literary concept, because well, writer–English teacher–makes sense, right? One year I was Ann-Tagonist, and another year I was a meta-4, and another year I was an unreliable narrator. Not sure what this year will bring. Totally open to your ideas! 

It’s as an adult that I’ve come to love Halloween and dressing up. Here’s an old post about a Halloween when I was in middle school when my shyness kept me from inhabiting my costume with confidence. That’s partly what dressing up is tied up for me now. A desire to fully inhabit my imagination without giving two fucks what others think of me. This gets better with age, for sure. 

But this is a post about fear. While I have a lot less fear these days about what other people are going to think or say than I did as a young person, it’s still in there and comes out at odd times. I worked with a personal coach for three months during the heart of the pandemic who supported me on a quest to be bolder. I’m still working on it. 

I fear driving fast in cars. I have panic attacks if I try to drive on the freeway, and when someone else is driving, I white-knuckle it and try to hide my nose in a book. I’m often convinced a car wreck is how I’ll die. At my worst moments when riding on the freeway, my imagination plays out the death-moment. 

I fear that I have passed on too much of my fear to my son. More than anything, I want him to inhabit his power and worth and light. He’s anxious, like me, like his dad. He’s starting to find his way out of that trap. There’s nothing I want more. I pass on to him all the books, yoga poses, bits of wisdom he’ll allow me to. I tell him my stories. 

I fear incompetence most of all. This one gets hard to describe. It starts way back with a sniffly, bullied kid who learned to tip-toe through life because the wrong thing said could mean a pinch, a bruise, a spanking with a belt. But I was always good at school. And I learned that if I kept my room organized and if I made lists of ways I could be better, I had a sort of control. I learned that I could achieve things. I could lose weight by lying for years that I hated chocolate and learning that if I caved and ate all the things I wanted to, I had a failsafe in the laxatives mom kept in the medicine cabinet. I learned that where there’s a will, there’s a way, and I got really good at managing my time and filling out forms and applications and doing a good job. 

I suppose I am too much of a control freak to have ever given myself fully over to alcohol. But it became a failsafe too, a release valve at the end of the day. The first drinks I ever had taught me that when I was drunk, boys liked me. Get a few drinks in me and I would laugh and dance, and fearful me would leave my body for a while, so it was all so easy. I realize now what a trap that was. A release at the end of the day traded for more anxiety the next day, and thus more need of relief. A vicious cycle fueled by a big money industry that preys on people for profit. 

I’m sober now. I’ve been sober-ish since last spring, slips along the way, but mostly soaking up resources and support to make the big move, the commitment. I didn’t start out planning to write about how I’m not drinking anymore. This is a theme-based blog post about fear. How did I get here? 

Being an anxious person who has managed to live a fairly successful life means that I’ve learned a lot about how to cope with fear. I trained to run a marathon to stave off the increasing panic attacks plaguing me in my twenties. I picked up yoga at fifteen and never stopped because I realized immediately sitting on a towel in my bedroom floor trying to wrap my body and mind around pose after pose in Richard Hittleman’s book that there was something there for me. I’m all in on the movement meditations to garner what peace I can from life. 

What I am not very good at is doing nothing. And that’s what alcohol gave me. An artificial stillness from care. Permission to binge-watch. Okay, so I write this, but I don’t know what to do with it. *pauses *reads it over again. Still not sure and that’s okay. 

The other day I was driving to the grocery store when I got hit with a wave of panic. No rhyme or reason, just the usual way that feelings of impending doom hit you on a Sunday morning out shopping. My first instinct was to pull over and call for help. Then, I told myself, hey, you’ve got this. You know this fear and you know what to do. So, I remembered where my feet were, where my hands were, and I took some deep breaths and began to sing. Critical me questioned my song choice. Better me said go ahead and sing whatever the fuck you want. There’s a reason there are so many songs about rainbows. I got all the shopping done in the knick of time to make it to writer’s group. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?

 Find free resources and information here.

Some past posts to keep you making time: 

Adjust your pace accordingly.

It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine

There are things you will have to give up

See it to achieve it

Washing the dishes

Write slowly

A celebration of the pause

Monday, a run through the driving rain

Zen accident

Get out of your comfort zone

Theme post for October: Fear was originally published on Make Time.

[babybahamut]

Pru, Agatha, Jade, Alice, Sirin

Answering these (finally). The first three are from Transformations, my magical-girl story set in a modern world, the latter two are from Ravens, which is more a high-fantasy DnD-style world.

Transformationscrew:

Pru:

FullName: Arrivingat “Pru” was an ordeal in itself, sothere’s no surname to speak of.Her name is short for Prudence, but she doesn’t like to be calledthat.Genderand Sexuality: Pru is a gay girl, which is lucky because there aren’tany boys in her story…Pronouns:She/herEthnicity/Species:Human (magicalgirl).She’s from the same country as everyone else in her story, but froma further-flung part of it.Birthplaceand Birthdate: See above, and she’s ~17but I’m not sure on day/month.GuiltyPleasures: She’s big-time into her world’s equivalent ofprofessional wrestling. The choreographed entertainment show based onan actual sport, for clarity. She knows all the players andstorylines and talks about them like they’re real.Phobias:I guess it’s more a fear than a phobia, but she’s torn up aboutwhat she wants to do with her life vs what she’s good at doing- theuncertainty roots her to the spot and makes her struggle to chooseeither. WhatThey Would Be Famous For: The end events of her story get her in thenewspapers- twice!!! But aside from that, she keeps company with aminor celeb who aspires to be a major celeb so she’s mainly befamous by proxy.WhatThey Would Get Arrested For: Breakingand entering, but she doesn’t get caught. (Why do all of mycharacters have a propensity for breaking and entering…)OCYou Ship Them With: Canonicallyit’s either Aya or Prissy (or neither!) but if I’m honest, it’sAya. Prissy’s more of a best frenemy.OCMost Likely To Murder Them: ‘Mole’by proxy, but Agatha could be pushed to that if she had to.FavoriteMovie/Book Genre: Anythingspectacular and melodramatic, with big flashy battle scenes. Makingbattles entertaining is a vital part of duelling in her world, butshe’s more focused on fighting well rather than putting on the bestshow. She likes to live vicariously through her media instead.LeastFavorite Movie/Book Cliche: Hahanope, see above. She loves that stuff.Talentsand/or Powers: She’snotably good at reading her opponent- predicting and countering theirnext move, and also identifying weaknesses in their style that shecan exploit. It’s not a superpower, she’s just good at it.WhySomeone Might Love Them: Sheuses her above talent to help people improve, even her rivals. Herway of thinking is that if everyone else becomes a better magicalgirl, she’ll have to improve too in order to keep up, and everyonebenefits from it. WhySomeone Might Hate Them: Theabove CAN be grating, but also she’s probably one of my flattestcharacters, honestly… I need to work more on making her interestingin her own right. Shesuffers a bit from Player Character syndrome.HowThey Change: She’smore of a catalyst for change in others, but she’s currentlywalking two roads and after securing a major victory on both, shecomes to realise where her heart lies and what she’s reallyfighting for. (She’d love that in someone else’s story! Verydramatic.)WhyYou Love Them: She’schanged a lot since she was Pro Tagonist, but there’s a lot ofaffection there. I’ve borrowed heavily from “Hilda” indeveloping her character, but with a lot of soft mods to make hersuitable.

Agatha

FullName: Agatha.Concept name was Anta Gonist. (she couldn’t be Anne Tagonist,because then she’d have the same last name as Pro!)Genderand Sexuality: Female,and currently too full of piss-and-vinegarto really anchor herself to any sexuality in particular (so I guess,ace?).Pronouns:She/herEthnicity/Species:Humanmagical girlBirthplaceand Birthdate: I’mundecided yet if she’s a fourth or fifth year (16-17 or 17-18).GuiltyPleasures: Thelook on Tor’s face when she’s acting out is 90% of the reason shedoes it.Phobias:FAILURE.She will be the best. She must be the best. She’s painfully awareof the fact that she ISN’T the best and she’ll go to any lengthnecessary to change that.WhatThey Would Be Famous For: Shewants to be famous for beingthe best, as above. But her fame comes from the same place as Pru’s,mentioned above.WhatThey Would Get Arrested For: UhhhI don’t want to spoil too much, but she hurts a lot of people.

OCYou Ship Them With: theclosest would be Tor, but they’re better as friends. In the eventthis story gets a big enough following though, that’d be her mostpopular ship.OCMost Likely To Murder Them: Hah.Well, Aya.FavoriteMovie/Book Genre: Partof being The Best involves having the most noticeable persona, so shelikes fantasy-type stuff with which to flower up her language andsound cool.LeastFavorite Movie/Book Cliche: Underdogstories. You don’t get to win because you’re NOT the best! That’sunfair to those who are!Talentsand/or Powers: Herschool doesn’t encourage dark magic, but it’s the only schoolwhich allows its use. They view it as an acceptable advantage for anymagical girl who can use it effectively (it’s hard). So, she’smaking use of that in her battles.WhySomeone Might Love Them: She’sa surprisingly good mentor- she knows how to push people’s hotbuttons to spur them onto better things. WhySomeone Might Hate Them: Sheenjoys being a heel a little too much, I wouldn’t say she falls asfar as being an outright bully but she has no filter and she likes togoad people. 100% brat.HowThey Change: Notfor the better, sadly. Dark magic is powerful but hard to control,and she’s the perfect combination of overconfident and painfullyinsecure to be a bad marriage with that.WhyYou Love Them: She’sthe only person who can push Aya to breaking point. Aya doesn’tfight other people as a rule, but Agatha is the exception.

Jade

FullName: Formerly ‘Aya’s Sister’, she’s now named after the Jadefrom Jackie Chan Adventures thanks to Nik.Gender and Sexuality:Female and, jeez, I guess bi? (Seriously. There’s no boys in thisstory. I have no idea if she likes them or not.)Pronouns:she/herEthnicity/Species: Human magical girlBirthplaceand Birthdate: Older than Aya. Not quite 25, but a few yearsgraduated.Guilty Pleasures: asa mechanic she’s usually found in work clothes, so an opportunityto get dressed up to the nines and break some hearts is rare butalways welcome.Phobias:Afterincidents in her past, she resolved to be fearless. Nothingirrational fazes her, but she’s anxious over whether or not Ayahates her.WhatThey Would Be Famous For: Shepulls a crowd whenever she goes monster hunting, primarily due to hershowboating but also because very few magical girls use a mech.WhatThey Would Get Arrested For: Somethingsilly that she’d get a caution for. Stealing traffic cones.OCYou Ship Them With: Shedoesn’t really have anyone her age to pair off with. I feel likeit’d be popular to pair her with Pru though.OCMost Likely To Murder Them: Theonly one of the main cast who could really do much to her is Pru’smother (who would annihilate pretty much all of them). FavoriteMovie/Book Genre: shelikes those How To Do Everything kinda guide books. She was atop-tierpatron of the ‘Make’ humble bundle.LeastFavorite Movie/Book Cliche: Shedoesn’t like how Iron Man is the most mobile of the Avengers.Robots are HEAVY! She’d know!Talentsand/or Powers: Herparticular brand of magical girl power gives her manipulation ofmachinery, sort of magnetics and that sort of thing. Basically, shecan wear cars on her mech and use them to punch you.WhySomeone Might Love Them: Shehas a black wit and she can punch people with cars.WhySomeone Might Hate Them: What?No, no reason, Jade’s awesome. (She’s brash and a bit eccentric.Hard to get on with, but a great big-sis.)HowThey Change: She’sdone changing. She wants Aya to change.WhyYou Love Them: She’sa success story on my part. She began life as a kinda cliched plotdevice of a character, but I decided I wanted to do better than thatand she became something really great. She’s the first disabledcharacter I’ve written so she marks progression there, too.

Ravens:

Alice

FullName: Nah. Even ‘Alice’ isn’t really her name.Genderand Sexuality: Female, attractive guys are nice but she could only beromantically involved with a girl- but she chooses not to getinvolved in that sort of thing to start with.Pronouns:She/herEthnicity/Species:Thief! Human thief.Birthplaceand Birthdate: She’s a little younger than Eli. About 17.GuiltyPleasures: As a thief, all of her pleasures are guilty. But the thingshe would never admit to is how much she enjoys working withEli.Phobias:Being caught. Not by the law- she can deal with them just fine. Butif she was caught by those who would have her return to her old life,that’d be the worst fate possible.WhatThey Would Be Famous For: A girl doesn’t vanish from her home andassume a fake identity with a band of thieves to become famous.WhatThey Would Get Arrested For: She wouldn’t. I mean, she’s doneplenty that would earn her an arrest, but she’s too good forthat.OCYou Ship Them With: None of mine. She does not become romanticallyinvolved with Eli at any point! Very adamant on that, even if somehowthey make a movie about this series one day!OCMost Likely To Murder Them: Sirin! It’s mutual.FavoriteMovie/Book Genre: She doesn’t care for stories. Legends, however,usually have some basis in truth, and that means artifacts topilfer.LeastFavorite Movie/Book Cliche: Legends usually involve some magical herodoing something improbable to save the day… and that’slame.Talentsand/or Powers: She’s very good at getting into places she’s notmeant to be, and getting out of places she’s supposed to stayin.WhySomeone Might Love Them: She’s good at what she does and she’ssnarky to anyone who doesn’t believe it.WhySomeone Might Hate Them: She’s also snarky to anyone who doesbelieve it. HowThey Change: She becomes more willing to work with others over time,rather than trying to get by on her own. WhyYou Love Them: She was the first female character I wrote who wasn’tjust a plot device or for the main character to fall in love with(read: for the author to fall in love with). She is a leap forwardfor me in the kinds of characters I can come up with- when I grew outof obvious self-inserts and weak proto-anime stereotypes. Also, justin her own right, she’s a lot of fun! She works really well as afoil to Eli, the counter to his cheeriness.

Sirin!

FullName: Grand Archmagus Sirin Icebringer, or so she dreams of one daybecomingGender and Sexuality: She’s female and lives a lifeof isolation so it’s hard to say what sexuality she is. She getslonely sometimes but she shrugs it off as part and parcel of thedecisions she’s made- she doesn’t regret it. She did have a crushon a lad at the Academy, back in her youth. He was as driven as sheis, but unfortunately he died quite horrifically in an experimentthey were working on together. She was only partially to blame andshe learned a whole lot from it, so she considers it a netpositive.Pronouns: She/herEthnicity/Species: Human,magic-capableBirthplace and Birthdate: She was born on theas-yet unnamed central island whose inhabitants have a tendency to beborn with magical abilities. It’s not unique to the island, buttheir society is built around it. Guilty Pleasures: althoughshe likes to appear the grumpy loner, people recognising heraccomplishments fills her with a genuine pride that is much to herdistaste. She’s kind of a narcissist.Phobias: She getsanxious when people borrow her books, and she’s a bit of acockroach generally, but she’s too driven to let much scare her offin the end. What They Would Be Famous For: She wants to restoremagic to its former glory- the magic that exists in her time is farweaker than historical documents imply it used to be. That’s hergoal, but if she also happens to inspire awe in people just throughher normal magical feats that’s fine. What They Would GetArrested For: Honestly she’s kind of an awful person. She’s toosmart to be too blatant about any laws she breaks, but there’s beena lot. She rarely will do the dirty work herself.OC You ShipThem With: No way. No one deserves to be lumbered with Sirin.OCMost Likely To Murder Them: Alice!Favorite Movie/Book Genre:the level of magic found in high fantasy is what she’s aiming for,but she can very easily be brought out of it by unrealistic magic.(If you follow that.)Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Whydoesn’t the all-powerful evil wizard just telekinesis a small stonethrough all of his enemies, why do they have to be so grandiose? Giveher that kind of power, she’ll show the world how it’sdone.Talents and/or Powers: She’s generally a talentedwizard, with a penchant for ice magic. Somewhat unique to her is herabilities with counter-magic- she can deconstruct a spell someoneelse has cast and reduce it to its base components. She uses itdefensively, but also to learn how certain tricks were done so shecan copy it.Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s sodelightfully grotesque. She doesn’t have the chops to be outrightevil, but she’s certainly villainous. It’s fun to watch her beawful.Why Someone Might Hate Them: Well, certainly she doesn’thave many friends in-universe. Roc is her mentor and he respects hermagical ability but he doesn’t really look far past that in anyone.How They Change: Hmm, can’t say too much for spoilers, butlets say she doesn’t become nicer.Why You Love Them: She’sso much fun to play with! Her drive for rare spell components hasseen her do some really awful things, both morally and just generallygag-inducing. It’s fun to have a Bad character who isn’t evil orthe villain- she’s one of the good guys!

[whyimnotanartist]

UNAPOLOGETIC, By Anne Tagonist, Volume Three, 08/02, Trans Activist Zine From My Collection

UNAPOLOGETIC, By Anne Tagonist, Volume Three, 08/02, Trans Activist Zine From My Collection

I mentioned on my detransition post on this blog that I had met trans activist Anne Tagonist. She was a regular at a queer punk get together (Queerwad) at Monkeywrench Books (a staunchly anti-TERF venue) that I attended with my boyfriend at the time during the Fall of 2002.

A bunch of early-00s trans activists just gasped at this

Well, she wound up giving me this zine in particular, which I…