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probably-writing-x · 4 months

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Fragmented

Summary: could you write one an ant from hbh x reader where the readers bee best friends with spider and dusty for years and is dating ant but she gets roofied and they get protective? only if your comfortable tho im just a sucker for hurt/comfort!!

Warnings: Discussions and descriptions of spiking / drugs (support for these issues is linked at the bottom), swearing, mentions of assault / potential assault, alcohol use, panic attacks and discussions of anxiety

Word Count: 3.6k

“There she is!” Ant grins as soon as you walk through the door, his entire being seeming to light up in your presence.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late,” You smile as you walk into Dusty’s room.

Ant is laying across the bed with Dusty and Spider sat on the edge of the bed playing COD zombies together. Neither of them turn around.

“And hello to you too,” You roll your eyes, closing the bedroom door behind you and walking over to Ant.

“Sorry, hi,” Dusty says quickly, “We’ve just got to-“

His words trail off again as they focus back onto the game.

You look over and Ant stretches his arms out for you, waiting for you to crawl into the space there. He relaxes as soon as you’re in his arms, sinking into the contact as you lay back against his chest, his legs on either side of you. His arms wrap around your waist and his head buries into your neck, kissing the exposed skin there.

“(Y/n) there’s beer in the mini fridge,” Spider mentions, the two of them still directly focused on the screen in front of them.

“They’ve been playing for at least an hour,” Ant mumbles into your ear, kissing you again.

You hum against the contact, “You’re not allowed to play?”

He laughs, “I’m too good for them.”

You’d been friends with all of the boys since kindergarten. Your Dad had enrolled you into a soccer team and you, at the time, were the only girl on the team. At that age, it didn’t seem to matter. All of you stumbled over the ball, scored into tiny fake nets and only played about fifteen minutes before you got bored. You’d then all gone to school together and, really, it felt like you’d been inseparable ever since.

It was two years ago when that had turned into something more between you and Ant. He’d always been the one you were closest to. He was the one, at first, that had always included you in everything. And he was the first one to defend you when someone was rude to you. He made you laugh more than the other two did, as if his humour could be tailored to you. When you were 14, you’d been camping at the lake with the boys. Ant was sharing a tent with you and he’d kissed you. He was nervous and scared and he didn’t know what to do with his hands but it was adorable. He’d got much better at kissing since then. Much better. Spider and Dusty had been weird about it at first - they’d said it would make things awkward and that it would be even worse if things didn’t work out. But then it just… did. You fit together, they realised it as much as you did. And, despite you two being young, nobody really saw this ending any time soon.

“Fucking hell,” Spider grumbles, tossing his controller back onto the mattress.

“Is it over?” You laugh, running your fingertips over Ant’s arms around your torso.

“Yeah Dusty fucked it,” Spider rolls his eyes, “You’ve still got the high score.”

You shrug, “What can I say? I’m just better than all of you.”

“Fuck off we taught you how to play!” Dusty kicks your leg gently.

Ant rests his chin on top of your shoulder, kissing your cheek, “Can’t we just stay here tonight?”

“No, no, no, come on,” You push up from his chest, “We said we’d go.”

“Yeah everybody’s going,” Spider points out, standing up from the bed too, “Plus, we’re already late.”

Ant groans and flops his head back against the pillow below him, “Okay I need to drink.”

———

The party’s happening in a warehouse downtown. You weren’t really sure how you’d ended up here, but Spider had overheard it from someone at school and got you all invited. There was music blaring from speakers and people you didn’t recognise and a million bodies moving around one expansive dance floor.

Ant places a hand on your back, smoothing his fingers over the material of your top. He liked being near to you. He was sure holding you could make him feel better about anything.

“Should we get a drink?” Dusty yells over the music and the boys agree.

All four of you walk over towards one side of the room and fill up cups from the kegs stacked up on one side. Spider makes a comment about how dirty the cups probably were and for a moment you question if it’s even worth having one. But you pour yourself a cup anyway, taking a sip of the lukewarm beer.

“I’m just going to go say hi to the girls,” You lean into Ant, “Are you guys staying here?”

“Yeah yeah we’ll be about,” He nods, bobbing his head to the beat of whatever song was playing.

“Alright, I won’t be long,” You squeeze his hand and walk off towards where you could see Amerie and Harper on the other side of the room.

—

That was the last time Ant had seen you before it happened. He watched you as you walked away, he always did. And he watched as you hugged Amerie and Harper in turn, before he turned back to the boys and made a comment about trying to find each of them a wife. He’d finished what was left of his cup and then poured out another one and knocked back half of that.

Dusty said they should go towards the crowd and Ant had looked back to make sure you were still within his eye line. You were with the girls, laughing about something one of them had said. And so he’d followed behind the boys into the crowd, just enough on the edge that you’d be able to see them when you came back. He didn’t think anything of it really. Everyone that you knew was here, plus another few hundred that you didn’t. It was all people your own age, all underage and worried about getting caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. It was a harmless party.

He only started to worry when it had been a while since he’d seen you. Ant looked back over to where the girls had been stood but he couldn’t see any of you anymore. He’d glanced over towards the drinks, hoping to see you there, but you were nowhere to be seen. Maybe you’d gone to the toilet. He couldn’t see enough through the crowd to be able to figure it out.

“Guys should we go look for (Y/n)?” He’d turned around to the boys.

Spider looked at him with a frown, “She’s not answered your text?”

“No,” Ant shakes his head, shouting over the music.

“What if she comes back here and can’t find us?” Dusty returns.

They all worried about you, always. Not only did your boyfriend, but the other two treated you like a little sister. They were always going to worry.

Before they have a chance to worry any longer, Harper comes pushing through the crowd for them. She’s flustered and out of breath and her eyes are burning with panic.

“It’s (Y/n).”

Ant felt his stomach drop, his entire body go into overdrive at the thought of what could have happened.

Spider grasps his shoulder and it forces him through the crowd, the boys hurrying after Harper who leads them through.

They end up outside, the breeze hitting them as Amerie crouches beside you at the side of the road.

“What’s happened?” Dusty speaks first as Ant rushes to your side.

Your hair is disheveled and your mascara has run and your whole body is shaking.

“She just got like really drunk out of nowhere,” Amerie explains, “We thought she’d just drank too much but it all happened so fast. Like twenty minutes and she was just gone.”

“She had one drink,” Spider mentions, “I mean, we had a beer at the house. But one drink here.”

“What the fuck was in that drink?” Harper shakes her head, “This is fucked up.”

Ant let you fall into him, his arm propping you up against his side as you mumbled incoherently. He knew you couldn’t see straight, from the way your eyes looked darker and uncertain. You were holding onto his shirt and your entire body felt like it could crumble in front of him.

“We need to call somebody or get help or something,” Dusty encourages, “She could’ve been spiked.”

“Who the fuck would do that?” Amerie exclaims, “What the fuck is wrong with people?”

They all look between each other, the panic bouncing in the air between them all as Ant holds you like you’re seconds away from disappearing.

———

Your entire body feels heavy and trapped when you wake up, like your mind is waking up before your limbs do. Crisp white lights, rhythmic beating, wires and tubes, the distant hum of conversations you couldn’t make any sense of.

You felt sick and hungry and tired and thirsty and yet felt nothing all at the same time. And you were alone.

“Alright alright shhhhhh.”

You’d know that voice anywhere.

“She needs to-“ It cuts off instantly as soon as he sees you, “Wait she’s awake!”

“She?” You croak out, your words hoarse and painful.

“(Y/n),” Ant half-laughs, breathing out a sigh of relief into the sound of your name.

Like the sight of you had made half of his worries float away almost instantly. Your eyes, now semi-adjusted to the light, catch the sight of all three boys making their way back into the room. Dusty’s carrying food bundled into his arms and Spider’s got a balloon and Ant’s carrying the biggest teddy bear he could manage.

“This was the only balloon they had,” Spider grimaces, tying the string to the barrier on one side of the hospital bed.

You catch a glimpse of it, a pink foil heart shaped helium balloon covered in the words ‘it’s a girl’.

“And we got you your favourite snacks, or at least everything that the hospital shop had,” Dusty explains, dumping them down onto the tray table at your bedside.

Ant still hasn’t spoken, like he just needed to see you to make himself feel okay. Like he just needed to know you were here.

“Wh-“ You cough out, pushing yourself up to sit up a bit more in the bed, “What happened?”

“You-“ The boys all look between each other, like a silent conversation, before they all take up spots on either side of the bed.

Spider and Dusty on one side and Ant on the other. Ant takes your hand in his.

“You were-“ Ant takes a deep breath, “We think you were spiked last night, at the party.”

You feel your body freeze like the words have invoked a shock response, trying to rack your tired brain for any sign of memory from the night before. Nothing.

“The girls were with you, Am and Harper,” Spider mentions, “They think it might’ve happened before you went to the toilet.”

“You just got very bad very quickly, and they knew something was wrong. You fell over and cut yourself up a bit and they took you outside and that’s when they came to find us,” Dusty continues, his brows furrowing in their concern.

“You couldn’t really talk, you couldn’t stand, so we called the ambulance and they decided to bring you in,” Spider adds, “We all got questioned last night but we couldn’t really help, we just kept telling them we didn’t know what had happened to you.”

“I don’t-“ Your voice is shaky this time, and you realise how quickly your heart was beating, “I don’t remember any-“

Your bottom lip quivers, your hands starting to tremble.

“I don’t remember anything.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Ant speaks so softly, his arm wrapping around you to pull you into his side, “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“The doctor told us that you might not remember a lot of it. It’s one of the side effects, she told us it’s like being the most drunk you’ve been, but just a lot worse,” Spider explains, reaching out a hand to squeeze your knee.

You look around at the three of them, faces all full of worry. They were all sleep deprived, dark circles under their eyes, same clothes as last night, surviving off of the adrenaline and worry they’d had since the moment they’d seen you outside. You knew you were okay, the girls had stayed with you, the boys had found you, the boys were here now. And yet a thousand thoughts circled through your brain of what could have been. Of what happened without you knowing. Of what would have happened had you been alone.

You feel the sickness boil in your stomach, churning over with every fearful thought.

“(Y/n)?” It’s Spider’s voice, “You with us?”

You blink away the blur from your eyes and force a small smile, “Yeah, yeah.”

———

You’re back at school the following week. And everybody is already talking about the weekend. Ant holds your hand as you walk into school, his fingers laced with yours and his shoulder bumping yours with every step he takes. You can see people looking at you, people pointing out the cut on your cheek or weighing up how bad they thought you looked.

“Hey, the guys are already in class,” He mentions, nudging your shoulder as the two of you divert towards class.

You’d been with him all weekend, he’d stayed at yours and done everything for you. He’d made you food, brought you tea, checked on you every ten minutes, let you watch your favourite films. He was determined to make sure you were okay and, on surface level, you were. You weren’t feeling sick anymore, your headache had eased, your muscles didn’t feel as weak, even the injuries from that night had started to heal. But you couldn’t stop thinking about it. And for every time you told Ant you were okay, you felt like you were lying to him just a little bit.

“Thank god you’re here!” Dusty exclaims as soon as the two of you walk in, “I need you to back me up on this one.”

“What’s going on?” Ant frowns, setting his and your books down onto the desk beside the boys.

“Okay if you had to live in a movie, the right option is Avengers, right?” Dusty explains, “Like why wouldn’t you want that?”

“It’s Jurassic Park!” Spider defends, “Who gives a shit about superheroes when you could just walk around with dinosaurs?”

“Did you… watch Jurassic Park?” Ant frowns, sitting down on the edge of the table and wrapping his arms around you so that you can perch between his legs.

“Shit goes wrong in Avengers all the time! And if you weren’t a superhero then you’re just one of those boring people in the street that has to run away from the bad guy,” Spider shakes his head, “What do you think (Y/n)? What film would you live in? Marvel or Jurassic Park?”

“Urm,” You clear your throat, “Surf’s Up.”

“Oooooh, and (Y/n) wins,” Dusty smiles, “Well played.”

They carry on their conversation about films and bring up all of the worst options they can think of. Spider gets Dusty into a headlock when he persists that Jurassic Park is one of the worst options. The two of them go tumbling into one of the desks.

“Hey, you okay?” Ant says softly into your ear.

You turn around and offer him a smile, “I’m okay.”

He kisses your cheek and you stand up from the desk, settling into your own seat with Ant beside you. He puts an arm around the back of your chair, swirling patterns on your shoulder like he always did. He was an affectionate boy, with nobody but you.

“Hey, (Y/n).”

You look up to see Amerie and Harper walking over towards you as Spider and Dusty take the seats adjacent to you and Ant.

“We just wanted to check you were okay,” Amerie says, “Im so sorry that happened to you.”

“Oh, um,” You shake your head, “You don’t need to say sorry. It could’ve happened to anyone.”

“We should’ve been watching more,” Harper encourages, “I mean seriously that’s so scary what happened.”

“Yeah I can’t believe how quick it all went,” Amerie adds on, shaking her head, “It’s seriously fucked up.”

“But we’re glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks girls,” You nod, “And thank you for… you know… helping.”

They both offer you that sympathetic smile you’d been seeing a little too often in the past few days. You appreciated the concern from everyone, it was nice. But you weren’t sure you could deal with another person checking up on you. They cared too much, right? You were fine. You were totally and utterly fine.

But there was a tightness in your chest that wouldn’t let up. It remained sat there, heavy and clenching. And the more you thought about that night, the tighter it got.

“Alright everybody settle down!” The teacher calls from the front of the class and everyone seems to settle into their spaces.

Ant keeps an arm over the back of your chair, as close to you as you can get. And you try to take a deep breath to ease the tightness in your chest. It doesn’t seem to go.

———

You’ve got sport next, and the boys are doing basketball on one side whilst the girls are on the other. The sports hall feels warm and stuffy and you’re certain the tightness in your chest has only got worse.

“(Y/N)?” It’s Harper’s voice that cuts through to you, flinching you from your thoughts, “You good?”

“I-“ You clear your throat, blinking, “I’m good.”

Just then, one of the boys yells something from the other side of the hall - you don’t know what, but the volume seems to cut through you. You feel yourself flinch again, your chest seemingly tightening even more. You feel like you’re trying to take a step forward and yet your feet are stuck in their exact spot. Like you’re sinking. Your body feels heavy and weak all at once and you’re completely out of control. Your vision starts to blur and your ears are pounding and all attempts at breathing seem to be escaping you. Like your body is fighting against itself.

“(Y/N)?”

It’s one of the girls again, coming over towards you in the sports hall.

But you’re not there. You’re back at the party and they’re coming over to you again, and you’re just as out of control as you were that night. You can make out the faint silhouettes of the boys - too far from you. And you can’t get to them, your mind and your body and your brain won’t allow you.

And then it all just seems to go dark.

———

When you next wake up, you’re in the uncertain surroundings of the nurse’s office. It smells of cleaning products and linen and the bed is rock solid beneath you.

“(Y/n),” The nurse smiles at you from over the room, “How are you feeling?”

Your throat is dry and your head is pounding, “What happened?”

“Well, you had a panic attack,” She says softly, “You didn’t pass out but it seemed you were very close to, your friends brought you here and you fell asleep not long after.”

You nod, “I don’t really remember much of it.”

“That’s okay, that’s completely normal,” She assures you, “There’s somebody that’s been waiting outside if you’re feeling up for having a visitor.”

You nod and sit on the side of the bed, your legs crossed beneath you. When she opens the door and steps outside, it’s Ant that comes in to keep you company.

“There she is!” He smiles softly, speaking so gently it almost doesn’t sound like him, “I thought you might be cold.”

He hands over his black hoodie to you and you pull it on, breathing in the lingering scent of his aftershave.

“How are you feeling?” Ant asks, taking his spot on the bed beside you, facing you.

“I’m okay, I’ve never had that happen before with a panic attack,” You shake your head, “I just couldn’t move or anything it was so scary.”

“Hey,” He reaches out and takes your hand, “You’ve also never been through anything like what happened to you at the weekend, and you’re allowed to be struggling with that.”

“I just-“ You shake your head, “People keep asking me if I’m okay and I keep saying I am but… I just keep thinking what would have happened if…”

Your bottom lip quivers and Ant wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

“Im never going to let that happen, (Y/n), I promise you,” He mumbles into you, “And I’ll be as patient as you need to help you deal with all of this.”

You pull away from him just enough to look into his eyes, letting them inject into you the warmth that he seemed to ooze.

“We can talk about it, we can find a therapist if you feel like that would help, we can speak to the police again, we can do anything,” He encourages, brushing your hair away from your face and cupping your cheek, “But I need you to know that I’m here, okay?”

You nod and lean into his touch as he smooths his thumb over your skin.

You sniff, “Thats the most serious I’ve ever seen you, Ant.”

He laughs, “Yeah I can be serious when I want to be.”

You smile and he leans in to kiss you as if he wants to seal the smile there. Seal the small fraction of yourself that he could see coming through. And he meant it, he’d do whatever he could to get all of those fractions back.

———————

Helpful Links

Stamp Out Spiking

Alcohol Think Again (AU)

Crisis Text Line

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general-fanfiction · 4 months

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Foreign Exchanges. (Anthony Vaughn x Reader.)

Summary: Moving school in the middle of the year is never easy. Let alone from an entirely different country. Despite Y/N trying to garner the least amount of attention possible, she still manages to catch the eye of a certain brunette.

Word Count: 1.5k

Gif Not Mine . Requests are open!

Warnings: Mature language.

A/N: My first Ant fic and I’m debating making this a series but you’ll have to let me know what you think! Anyway just a short one to start us off but there’ll be more soon. Don’t forget requests are open!

“I’d like you all to offer a warm welcome to our new student Y/N Y/L/N, she’s moved here all the way from the UK! So let’s show her some of that Hartley spirit.” The teacher, who introduced herself as Jojo, announces to the class. All of them staring at me with blank stares. “Go ahead and say a few words.”

She nudges my shoulder gently before I can decline the offer. Encouraging smile on her face. There are no smiles from my classmates however, only bored faces who couldn’t be less interested in my arrival. For which I’m grateful. I’d seen this school on the news prior to my enrolment, I know these students are brutal. I mean, a sex map? Dad wasn’t too happy about sending me here though he didn’t really have a choice, no other schools were admitting students this late into the term.

“Um hi, I’m Y/N. It’s good to be here I guess.”

“Does anybody have any questions for Y/N?” Jojo offers, attempting to find a way for the class to get to me.

Numerous hands raise and I let out a groan internally. It’s bad enough that I’m stood at the front of the classroom like a new shiny toy but to now be subject to whatever ridiculous questions these teens can come up with is a new form of torture. One that I am really not looking forward to.

Jojo points to her first student, allowing them to be the first to ask. “Why don’t you have a proper British accent?” The girl seems genuinely curious, eyes focused on me as she combs her fingers through her orange hair. Stickers adorn her face along with colourful eyeshadow to match her bright outfit. She has a gentle aura surrounding her, which makes me relieved as I realise her question wasn’t meant in malice and more so pure interest. Maybe these kids won’t be so bad?

“Um, I think the accent you’re think of is the Queen’s English. There isn’t many people that talk like that really, maybe a few down south but I grew up in the North East. None of us talk posh.” I tell her, watching as she seems to take notes as I speak.

“Thank you Quinni, Spider what about you?” Jojo asks, pointing to the tall blonde that is hunched over at the back of the class.

His eyes flicker up to me, giving me the once over though he doesn’t seem too impressed by my presence.

“Yeah, what is it with you and all the other poms having bad teeth?” The boy pipes up, I notice the two boys next to him laugh. Though the one in the baggy outfit makes eye contact with me and a flash of guilt appears on his face.

“I don’t have bad teeth actually. Nobody I know does and to be perfectly honest, that stereotype is deeply rooted in classism and while the UK faces a major cost of living and wealth gap crisis, I don’t think it’s funny to joke about things like that. Do you?” I retort, causing h the pink haired girl and her friend to applaud my mini speech. Both offering cheers.

“Okay any more questions that aren’t going to cause arguments?” Jojo asks, a few hands lowering as they don’t want to get in trouble. “Yes, Amerie?”

“Do you miss home?”

“Yeah, yeah I really miss it.” I start, thinking of everything that I had to leave behind. I know this was the best decision for my family, but I do hold a slight resentment towards being here. “Don’t get me wrong, Sydney’s great and all, but I miss my friends, my house, my pets, I even miss the shitty pub from down the street.”

“Thank you Y/N, I feel like we’ve got to know you a little bit more now, so feel free to take a seat and we’ll get started.”

The only open seat is next to the girl that Jojo called Amerie. Smiling as I take my place, I open my notebook and begin to doodle swirls and other patterns across the page. Focusing on that rather than the subject being taught. It’s some form of sex education by the sounds of it. However, it seems very outdated and heteronormative. Nothing worth listening to anyway.

Upon hearing the bell ring, I begin to pack away my things and watch as a few students mutter things towards Amerie. “Map bitch.” “Cunt.” and “Crazy bitch.” Just to name a few. I realise that may be the reason she had nobody sat next to her and figure it may be best to avoid her if I want to stay under everybody’s radar.

Finding my locker, I begin to turn the lock with great difficulty. Back home, the numbers simply connect and the door clicks open, that doesn’t seem to be the case here though. Fiddling with the dial, I hear the bell signal the beginning of the next class and I huff, annoyed that I’m having this much trouble with a stupid locker.

As the hallways clears out, I continue to twist and pull at the lock. Bag dumped on the floor as I try with all my strength to pry the door open. With no such luck, I throw a quick kick to the locker beneath mine, leaving a dent in the door slightly. Slumping with my back again the metal, I find myself face to face with the boy in the baggy outfit.

Not previously noticing how cute he was, dark hair hidden beneath a beanie, a couple of curls escaping. Boyish grin plastered across his face and piercing brown eyes staring directly at me. I won’t even try to deny that Australia has one up on the Uk in terms of boys, they’re just so much cuter over here.

“What did the locker do to you?” He jokes, taking the slip of paper with the locker code out of my hand.

“Bloody thing won’t open.” I mumble, stepping out of the way as he demonstrates how to open it with ease. My cheeks tinged pink as I fear my outburst may have been unnecessary.

“I thought you Brits were supposed to be good at containing your emotions anyway.” He leans against the locker beside mine, watching me as I stuff countless books into the small space. Normally this would make me uncomfortable, yet there’s there’s something about him that makes me feel warm and calm.

“Nah we love our fair share of violence.” I tell him, smiling as I do so, remembering the amount of fights that used to take place on my estate daily. Providing free entertainment for all the neighbours. “We’re polite, but piss us off and we’ll knock you into next week.”

He laughs, folding his arms across his chest as I close the locker door. His eyes gaze over me as I turn to face him properly. Noticing the small cross necklace hanging from his neck, I can’t help but imagine what it would look like against his bare skin.

“You religious?” I ask, nodding towards the chain.

“Nah, I’m Ant.” He brushes off my question and tucks the necklace beneath his shirt. Clearly a touchy subject that perhaps I shouldn’t have brought up. So instead I attempt to lighten the mood.

“Ant?” The word escapes my mouth as a slight giggle, unable to hide the amusement his name brings. “And your mate’s called Spider?”

“Yeah, stupid right?” He chuckles, playing with the straps of his bag. Almost as if he’s nervous. “We’ve been best mates our entire lives. My real name’s Anthony but nobody calls me that. Same with Spider, his name’s Spencer. Kids started to call us Ant and Spider when we were like six, guess it just stuck.”

“That’s cute.”

Picking up my bag, I throw it over my shoulder. Figuring I should probably head to my next class despite being extremely late already.

“Hey, about Spider.” Ant reaches for my arm, clearly sensing that I’m about to leave. “I just wanted to apologise, he can be a bit of a dick but he’s a nice guy deep down.”

My arm tingles where he’s touching it, feeling the slightest of move of his fingers. As though my nerves are on fire. Suddenly hypersensitive to any little movement he makes. I know I shouldn’t be feeling things this intensely, hell, I’ve just met the guy. Yet he sparks an excitement in me that I haven’t felt in a while.

“Honestly it’s sound. You don’t need to apologise.” I assure him, offering a smile, I see his shoulders relax. “I can handle a prick like him any day.”

“Yeah you certainly shot him down quick.”

As he removes his hand from my arm, I’m quick to begin walking away. Cheesy grin on my face as I recall the interaction in my head despite it only happening seconds ago. I feel dizzy with excitement, my feet feel like they’re walking on clouds and I almost miss the shout from behind me as I go to turn the corner.

“Hey, do you wanna get high?”

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notthebayang1 · 2 years

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church girl -- anthony 'ant' vaughn

anthony vaughn x fem!reader

summary: anthony hates church, and now that amerie's map has blown up, he's there way too often. there's no one even close to his age sitting in the crowd... until now.

"Anthony, sit up straight," his mother nagged, pinching him lightly on his arm.

It was the third time she had done so, causing Ant to groan quietly as he readjusted himself. The church pews were hard and unforgiving, digging into every bone on his lanky body. His mother and grandmother were sitting straight as nails on either side of him, listening intently to what the priest was saying. The calming voice, the sweet-smelling candles, and the dim lighting in the church had been slowly lulling him to sleep, not including the early hours of a Sunday morning they were there for. His eyes wandered across the many familiar old faces - Ms. Mackenzie, Albert, Jonah... and one unfamiliar one.

A girl. A possibly teenage girl.

The back of her head was pretty. And her profile. She was wearing a pretty nice sweater too. Purple, with tiny flowers sewn into the pattern. It looked like something his grandma would make, and maybe her own grandma had made it for her. There was an old lady sitting on one side of her. He envied her spot on the end of the pew, as she was able to learn out into the aisle and stretch her legs. As she shifted her body, her crossed leg dipped out into his view. Ant finally found a reason to sit up straight as her leg came into view. Black tights led down her leg, only stopping at her big black boots. As Ant's eyes trailed back up to the back of her head, he was shocked to find a pair of eyes staring back at him. A bright, mischievous smile spread on her face, and Ant found himself smiling dopily back.

Just as he thought she'd turn back around and become reimmersed in the service, she was suddenly raising to her feet, and making her way down the aisle past where Ant and his family were sitting. The mischievous smile followed her.

"I... I gotta pee," Ant whispered to his mom and grandma, who were both too enraptured to care for the moment.

Ant quietly made his way down the hall, following the mystery girl and her smile. As he pushed through the doors of the church, he screeched to a halt, not expecting the girl to be standing right in front of him.

"Hi," she spoke.

"Oh... hi," Ant choked out.

"You come here often?" the girl spoke, smirking as she did so.

Ant snickered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I guess," Ant sighed, "I, uh, I haven't seen you around here, uh, often."

That mischievous smile returned.

"I'm new to Sydney, and to the church," she explained, "I'm Y/N."

A hand was extended to Ant that was quickly, albeit too quickly, accepted.

"Ant," he responded, shaking her hand.

She cocked an eyebrow at this, giggling slightly.

"It's uh, it's a nickname," Ant said softly, taking his hand back, "Anthony."

"Nice to meet you... Ant," Y/N greeted.

Ant shyly laughed. An awkward silence passed over the two of them as they waited for something to come up.

"You... you wanna see something cool?" Ant asked.

"Of course," Y/N smiled.

---

"How the hell did you find this place?"

They had somehow found themselves in the church basement, looking through the floorboards into the main chamber above them. Ant was ecstatic that he was seemingly making a pretty good impression.

"Lots of hours spent in this church," Ant explained.

"You're quite devout," Y/N joked, stepping over a box and closer to him, the semi-darkness blurring lines between the two of them.

"I guess," Ant snickered, "My mom makes me go more often now because of... never mind."

"What?" Y/N pressured.

"Just this stupid map thing at my high school," Ant brushed off.

"Wait you go to Hartley?" Y/N inquired, "I'm starting there tomorrow."

"No way!" Ant shouted, before slapping a hand over his mouth and speaking quieter, "No way, I guess I'll be seeing more of you."

Y/N giggled as Ant rubbed the back of his neck again - a nervous habit.

"So... you bring many girls down here?" Y/N questioned.

"Just you," Ant hummed.

"Hmm, I guess I'll believe you," she giggled, smiling brightly.

Ant smiled back, feeling that pull between two people in close proximity, that slight tension. Ant felt his upper body moving forwards slightly, prompting another mischievous smile from Y/N.

"Are you about to kiss me, Anthony?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, um, I was going to... but if you don't want it, and you know..." Ant began to backtrack.

In cliche fashion, a pair of lips cut his words off, the two intertwining. Their lips moved in sync as she moved in closer, coming to wrap her arms around his neck and allowing him to put his arms around her waist. It only lasted for a few moments, Y/N pulling away first, smiling against the kiss. Murmurs began to be heard from upstairs.

"I think the service is done... see you around?" Y/N whispered.

"Yeah... definitely," Ant answered, head spinning.

And with that, Church Girl was disappearing back into the darkness, leaving a stunned Ant smiling like an idiot.

#heartbreak high #heartbreak high 2022 #heartbreak high reboot #ant heartbreak high #ant x reader #anthony vaughn x reader

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mattsturniolosmuse · 5 months

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Can you do a Anthony Vaughn (heartbreak high) x reader because if so I have a idea

Ant and y/n been Friends since they were 2 because their parents were close so y/n and ant was close (you can add memories) and when y/n was 8 she realized she was in love with ant it was always ant and y/n they always took gummies and had sleep overs goofed around with spieder but when she was 16 she saw that on the map it said her and ant were hooking up and ant laughed and said he would NEVER hook up with her and she feels heart broken so she pushes her away and starts to hang out with different people and a year later haper tells ant she doesn't want to be with him and he's heart broken so he crys and y/n is there for him and they kiss and it got heated so the y/n gives ant a blow job so he returned the favor by eating her out but it got pretty heated and it ended by them having sex and ant tells her that he always had a thing for her but he didnt act on it because she was his best friend and the next day she shows up at school wearing ants hoodie and sweat pants and all their friends find out their Dating

yesss thank you anon! I love this <3

I'm running a bit behind in school work, but I should have it out by next Thursday next week!

#heartbreak high #ant #Anthony vaughn #heartbreak high smut #x reader

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randomontheinternet · 4 years

Text

Our Life Voiced Names A-Z

I heard some people wanted a list of the voiced names so far, so I took the time to copy down all of the names from A to Z. The names are under the cut to not clutter.

Aaron

Aayria

Abby

Ace

Adrienne

Aeon

Aeriie

Aesilng

Aga

Aine

Aisha

Aisling

Aki

Akira

Akua

Alaina

Alex

Alexis

Alfonzo

Ali

Alice

Alijah

Alison

Alvis

Alyssa

Amanda

Amber

Amelia

Amy

Anaïs

Andra

Andre

Andrew

Andri

Angel

Angela

Angie

Anima

Anita

Anna

Anna-Maria

Anne

Annie

Annika

Anthony

Antoine

Aoife

Arabella

Aram

Ari

Arielle

Arrow

Arthur

Arturo

Arty

Ash

Asher

Ashla

Ashleigh

Ashlyn

Aspen

Asteria

Astrid

Athena

Atticus

Audrey

Aura

Aurora

Austin

Autumn

Ayanna

Barbie

Basil

Beach

Beata

Bec

Becky

Bee

Belen

Ben

Bethany

Bia

Blue

Bobbi

Bonnie

Boyd

Braden

Brian

Briana

Brielle

Brittany

Brooke

Brooklyn

Bryony

Bunni

Cadence

Cai

Cam

Cami

Cara

Carmine

Casey

Cassidy

Cato

Cecilia

Cecily

Celestia

Cerise

Chance

Chantal

Chara

Charlie

Charmaine

Chelle

Chris

Christie

Christina

Chuck

Ciara

Ciaran

Cillian

Claire

Cléo

Coco

Col

Conny

Cora

Cori

Corrina

Cristal

Cristina

Crystal

Cygnus

Cyina

Dan

Dani

Dante

Daphne

Dara

Dayton

December

Denny

Deremy

Desiree

Desmond

Destiny

Devyn

Dexter

Diamond

Diana

Diane

Dorothy

Duane

Eddie

Eden

Elaine

Elda

Eleanor

Elegance

Elena

Elenus

Elissa

Eliza

Elle

Ellie

Eluned

Elysa

Ember

Emilith

Emily

Emma

Emmy

Enjel

Ennae

Eric

Erica

Erii

Erin

Ester

Eve

Evren

Ezekiel

Ezra

Felicia

Felicity

Felix

Fianna

Finist

Finn

Flynn

Francesco

Franklin

Gabrielle

Gaby

Gail

Garnet

Gavin

Gemma

Genevieve

Gerry

Gigi

Gin

Giulia

Glen

Grace

Gray

Gwen

Haley

Halima

Hana

Hannah

Hanni

Haru

Hazel

Heather

Helena

Héloïse

Hime

Hiyori

Hollis

Holly

Hon

Hunter

Ian

Iga

Illidan

Imani

Irene

Iris

Isabel

Ishan

Isla

Isolde

Issa-Kabeer

Ivy

J.R.

Jacob

Jade

Jaden

Jaiet

Jake

Jan

Janice

Jas

Jasmine

Jasper

Jatin

Javi

Jax

Jay

Jaycie

Jazz

Jeannie

Jeff

Jemma

Jen

Jennifer

Jenny

Jess

Jesse

Jessica

Jessinia

Jill

Jinx

Joanie

Joanna

Joelle

Johanna

Jordan

Jordanna

Joseph

Josh

Josie

Joy

Juleyma

Juli

Julia

Julianne

Julien

June

Jupiter

Justina

Kaden

Kai

Kala

Kaleton

Kalina

Karat

Karen

Kat

Kate

Katelyn

Katrina

Kay

Kel

Kellie

Ken

Kendi

Kenton

Kevin

Kia

Kiara

Kiba

Kie

Kien

Kim

Kimberly

Kimory

Kira

Kirsty

Kisa

Kit

Knox

Kodie

Kozmo

Kra

Kristen

Kyan

Laëtitia

Lanz

Laura

Lauren

Lavender

Leaf

Leann

Leina

Leo

Leon

Leslie

Letty

Levi

Lex

Lexi

Lia

Libbi

Lidia

Lilith

Lillian

Lily

Lindsay

Lindt

Linley

Lisette

Liss

Livia

Lotus

Lucy

Luke

Luna

Lyla

Lyric

Lvsander

Lysella

Maddy

Madeline

Mae

Maggy

Mahari

Mai

Maia

Mali

Mallory

Malyia

Mandy

Marcel

Marcella

Marcia

Marco

Margaret

Mari

Maria

Marianne

Mariposa

Maris

Marissa

Marlene

Martina

Mary

Mary-Elizabeth

Mason

Matina

Matthew

Maus

Max

Maya

McKenzie

Megan

Mel

Melanie

Melissa

Melly

Melody

Merlin

Mia

Mich

Michael

Michelle

Michiko

Mickie

Mikaela

Mikey

Mimi

Mina

Minette

Mini

Mira

Miranda

Mishal

Missy

Mizuki

Molly

Monica

Mordaine

Morgan

Morgana

Moriah

Morina

Muriel

Mykaela

Nakira

Nancie

Natalie

Natasha

Nathaniel

Neelam

Nessa

Nessi

Niamh

Nicole

Nier

Night

Nikki

Nina

Noah

Noe

Noel

Nui

Oda

Oliver

Olivia

Ollie

Omar

Onyx

Opal

Ori

Osmond

Oumou

Paige

Parvati

Patience

Patrice

Patricia

Patrick

Peter

Philippe

Phoebe

Phoenix

Polly

Priya

Querriana

Quinn

Quinniece

Rachel

Rain

Rainie

Ran

Randi

Raphaël

Raven

Rayne-Beau

Rayraye

Rebecca

Reed

Rei

Reina

Rémi

Ren

Revan

Rhiannon

Rhi-Rhi

Rhyne

Rika

Riley

Rini

Riona

Risa

Riven

Riza

Robyn

Rory

Rosa

Rose

Rosetta

Rosie

Rowan

Runa-Lucienne

Ruth

Ryan

Rye

Sabrina

Sage

Salem

Sam

Samantha

Sammi

Sandy

Sara

Saro

Sasha

Savannah

Season

Selena

Selkie

Serena

Shaelei

Shakyra

Shay

Shayla

Sheena

Shelbie

Sid

Sienna

Silvia

Simmy

Simon

Sinead

Skye

Skyla

Skylar

Soffia

Soleil

Sonja

Sora

Soraya

Stacey

Star

Stefan

Stevie

Stella

Steph

Stephanie

Stephen

Story

Susan

Suzy

Sydney

Tama

Tammy

Tanisha

Tanya

Taylor

Ted

Teddy

Terra

Terrence

Terry

Thomas

Thorgunna

Tiago

Tida

Tobias

Toki

Tokiko

Tom

Tommy

Tomoko

Trey

Tricia

Tristan

Twila

Tye

Uma

Undyne

Vaeril

Van

Vandy

Vaughn

Vaylin

Velise

Venla

Vera

Verly

Verv

Vesper

Vicky

Victor

Vina

Vincent

Violette

Vivi

Vivienne

Wendy

Westley

Whispthera

Winnie

Wonder

Xander

Xavier

Xiri

Yasmin

Ylthin

Yon

Yoonie

Yuki

Yukino

Yuli

Yvette

Yvonne

Zachary

Zack

Zae

Zariyah

Zayla

Zen

Ziya

Zoey

#our life beginnings & always #our life #ourlifeba #the final list if more names don't come out #last update- feb 17

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godzilla-reads · 6 years

Text

Book Recommendations A-Z

I saw this done on a couple other blogs, so I decided I’d give it a shot, too. If you get inspired and want to do this too, feel free to tag me in it so I can see your favorite books!

A. “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

B. “The Boys on the Rock” by John Fox

C. “Chains” by Laurie Halse Anderson

D. “Delta of Venus” by Anaïs Nin

E. “Eragon” by Christopher Paolini

F. “Fantastic Mr. Fox” by Roald Dahl

G. “Gods Behaving Badly” by Marie Phillips

H. “His Majesty’s Dragon” by Naomi Novik

I. “If We Were Villains” M.L. Rio

J. “Jurassic Park” by Michael Crichton

K. “The Knife that Killed Me” by Anthony McGowan

L. “The Last Unicorn” by Peter S. Beagle

M. “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka

N. “Night” by Elie Wiesel

O. “The Outsiders” by S. E. Hinton

P. “Pride of Baghdad” by Brian K. Vaughn

Q. “Queer” by William S. Burroughs

R. “The Republic” by Plato

S. “The Song of Achilles” by Madeline Miller

T. “The Tale of Despereaux” by Kate DiCamillo

U. “The Unicorn Sonata” by Peter S. Beagle

V. “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams

W. “Watership Down” by Richard Adams

X. “X-Men” by Stan Lee

Y. “Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories” by Dr. Seuss

Z. “Zoo” by James Patterson

#book recommendations #books #book blog #library #literature #books rec #a-z challenge #a-z tag #text post #txt post #Godzilla reads #novels

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nomdeplay · 8 years

Text

26 Sons

Lifted from the Nameberry Forums. Please don’t think that I’m actually good at this. My answers below.

—-

You have 26 sons - one for every letter of the alphabet. You choose middle names.

A: Adam, Alistair, Anakin, Andre, Archer, Asher, Atticus, August, Axl, Aydan B: Benji, Bentley, Brady, Brant, Braxton, Brennan, Brett, Bridger, Brodie, Bryce C: Caesar, Camdyn, Chance, Chase, Clayton, Connor, Cooper, Corbin, Cruz, Curtis D: Dakota, Dallas, Dante, Darius, Dashiell, Davin, Dawson, Declan, Dmitri, Dustin E: Easton, Edison, Eli, Emery, Emilio, Emmanuel, Enzo, Eric, Evan, Ezra F: Fallon, Felix, Finn, Fisher, Fitzgerald, Fiyero, Fletcher, Forrest, Franklin, Frasier G: Gabriel, Gaige, Garrett, Gavin, Geoffrey, Gideon, Grady, Greyson, Griffin, Gunner H: Hansel, Harrison, Hayes, Hendrix, Hero, Holden, Hollis, Horatio, Hudson, Hunter I: Iain, Icarus, Iggy, Immanuel, Inigo, Isaac, Ismael, Israel, Ivan, Izaiah J: Jacob, Jaime, Jasper, Jaxon, Jett, Joel, Jonas, Josiah, Julius, Jupiter K: Kai, Kale, Keagan, Kendrick, Kieran, Killian, Kingston, Knox, Kobe, Kyler L: Lachlan, Lane, Levi, Liam, Lincoln, Linus, Logan, Loki, Luke, Lyndon M: Maddox, Malachi, Marshall, Mason, Maverick, Maximilian, Micah, Mitchell, Morgan, Myles N: Nash, Navy, Nehemiah, Neo, Niall, Nico, Nikolai, Noah, Noel, Nolan O: Octavius, Oliver, Omari, Orion, Orlando, Orson, Oscar, Otto, Owen, Ozzy P: Parker, Patrick, Payton, Percy Phineas, Phoenix, Pippin, Porter, Presley, Prince Q: Qing, Quade, Quarry, Quebec, Quest, Quillan, Quincy, Quin, Quinton, Quito R: Raydan, Remy, Rhys, Riley, River, Roman, Rory, Rueben, Ryan, Ryder S: Sage, Samson, Santiago, Sawyer, Scott, Shane, Silas, Skylar, Solomon, Sonny T: Tanner, Taylor, Theodore, Titus, Tobias, Travis, Trevor, Tristan, Tucker, Tyler U: Ugo, Ulric, Ulysses, Umari, Umber, Upton, Urban, Uri, Uriah, Uriel V: Valentin, Valor, Vance, Vaughn, Vega, Viktor, Vincent, Virgo, Vito, Vladimir W: Wade, Walker, Washington, Wesley, Weston, Wilder, Wilson, Wolfgang, Wren, Wyatt X: Xabian, Xachariah, Xanthos, Xavier, Xayden, Xero, Xenox, Xion, Xylander, Xzander Y: Yadiel, Yahmir, Yancey, Yardley, Yasim, Yellijah, Ymmanuel, York, Yves, Yuri Z: Zachariah, Zackery, Zane, Zayden, Zeke, Zephyr, Zeppelin, Zeus, Ziggy, Zion

—-

A: Archer Henry B: Brennan Arthur C: Connor Matthew D: Dante Edward E: Ezra Louis F: Franklin Jasper G: Gideon James H: Harrison Indigo I: Issac Peter J: Josiah Robert K: Killian John L: Luke Michael M: Micah Joseph N: Noah Sterling O: Owen Rhys P: Patrick Azure Q: Quin Rowan R: Remy Stephen S: Samson Oliver T: Theodore Fox U: Ulysses Anthony V: Vincent Cyan W: Walker Samuel X: Xavier Everett Y: York Frederick Z: Zion William

—-

Sidenote: Why do I find boys names SO MUCH more difficult than girls names? I can find girls names I like for DAYS. Most boys names I’m somewhere in the “meh” to “ew, why” range.

#baby name game #alphabet game #baby names

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general-fanfiction · 2 months

Text

Eshay Baby. (Anthony Vaughn x Chook's Sister Reader)

Word Count: 5.8K

Y/N Cooper and Anthony Vaughn had a complicated relationship, which becomes even more complex following the reveal of the incest map.

WARNING: This work is not intended for those under the age of eighteen as it does have mature content. This story deals with alcohol, sexual content, drugs, explicit language, violence, death and triggering topics such as sexual assault and abuse.

A/N: I really hope you enjoy this fic as much as I do, I am a sucker for an ex's to lovers trope! This will be an ongoing series with each chapter correlating to a different episode! Love you! x

Fuck you Monday.

I am not a bad person. At least, I don’t believe I am. Research suggests that people become products of their environments, in fact, there’s an entire theory surrounding the self-fulfilling prophecy which suggests that if environmental factors such as the people and community surrounding you believe you will turn out a certain way, you will. It’s something to do with the phrase ‘if that’s what people think I am, then that’s what I will be.’ For as long as I’ve been alive, I have done my best to combat this. Not wanting to prove the countless social workers, mental health professionals, teachers and police correct. I am a good person.

My brother on the other hand, that’s slightly more complicated. He’s four years older than me, he understands and remembers more of our childhood than I do. It’s not something that we often talk about, him opting to avoid the subject entirely not wanting to reminisce on the past. His words not mine. I don’t blame him for this, nothing I can remember is positive. Being passed from one distant relative to the next, each being significantly worse than the last. Until one day we ended up at the home. I can only imagine what other horrors he may remember.

Hence why I stated it’s complicated, everything he does, he does for us. That’s the way it’s always been. Not once has he failed to protect me, agreeing to be my legal guardian the moment he turned eighteen in order to remove me from the clutches of any government mandated home. I’ll forever be grateful to him for that, and so I could never argue that he isn’t a selfless man. Not when it comes to family.

Others may disagree with me, believing he is cruel, callous and cold. Inherently evil is a term that has been used to describe him many times before. I’ll be the first to admit that there are times when I don’t agree with his actions. However, I don’t believe this defines him as a person. People are so complex and have many different layers that somebody cannot be defined by one small thing. So would I say he’s a good person? No, but I also wouldn’t say he’s a bad person. He’s just different.

“Your brother said to tell you he’s setting off in ten minutes so to make sure you’re ready.”

The soft voice at my doorway startles me, too focused on applying my lipgloss to notice the boy standing in the doorway. As I glance up at him through my mirror, I’m hit by the unmistakable stench of marijuana that seems to flood the room. My nose scrunches, slightly disgusted by the thought of my brother and his friends getting high in the living room at eight am on a monday morning. Continuing to apply multiple layers of the shimmery pink gloss, I notice the figure is still standing in my doorway, his back turned to me, stance appearing almost awkward as he scratches the back of his head nervously.

“Cash you can come in.”

He turns to face me, hesitantly stepping through the threshold into my bedroom with a small smile on his face. Closing the old wooden door behind him, only to almost be knocked out by the numerous bags I have hung up on the back of my door.

“That’s a lot of bags.” He comments, resulting in a small laugh from me due to him stating the obvious.

Beginning to gather my textbooks, notebooks and any other supplies I may need for school, I notice Cash standing silently simply observing my bedroom. It’s a stark contrast to the rest of the house. Walls painted a burnt amber with photos and posters plastered up anywhere I could reach. Crocheted blankets are thrown over every piece of furniture in the room and my window stays wide open, allowing the bright morning light to flood the room, the gentle breeze blowing just enough to allow a melodic hum to reverberate through my wind chime.

“Your bedroom is nice. It’s homely.” Cash tells me, waiting patiently as I continue to throw things into my bag.

“Not a chance in hell was I letting Chook decorate my bedroom with graffiti.” I laugh, throwing my chunky black cardigan over my shoulders before the eshay opens the door for me, being the gentleman that he is and allowing me to exit first. “There’s another spray paint to cover a skatepark in here as it is.”

My finger traces one of the many swirls of blue spray paint that lines the hallway as I speak, eliciting a chuckle from the boy that follows behind me. Entering the lounge, I find Jayden and Tilla sprawled out on the sofa, eyes glazed over and it’s clear that they’re both stoned out of their minds. Chook sits on the armchair that he’s claimed as his own, nobody else dares to sit there, knowing it’s his seat. He’s playing with the car keys in his hands, eyes fixed on the unconscious man laid out at his feet. Occasionally nudging him with his foot in an attempt to humor himself.

“Who’s that?” I question, capturing my brother’s attention for the first time since we set foot in the lounge.

“Fuck knows brah, couldn’t handle his drinks though clearly.”

With one last surprisingly gentle kick to the stomach, Chook rises from the chair. Ruffling my hair as he strolls past me and towards the front door, much to my annoyance. I sigh quietly, swiftly smoothing my hair down, to which Cash does his best to muffle his laugh as we follow my brother out the door. Stepping over yet another unconscious man as we leave the house.

Hartley High is only a twenty minute drive, most of which I spend in silence, trying my best to enjoy the drum and bass that erupts out of the speakers as we fly down the streets of Sydney. Chook was never one for following the speed limit, no matter how many times I lectured him on the importance of driving safely.

We pull into the car park outside of school with an ear piercing screech, slamming to a halt directly outside the gates, the unnecessary amount of noise causes many students to look in our direction. Many whispering to their friends as they gawk at us, I do my best to keep my head down as I clamber out of the vehicle. Embarrassed by the commotion Chook has caused.

“Don’t get expelled!” Chook yells out of the car window as Cash and I trudge reluctantly towards the quad. Not wanting to dignify him with a response, I simply throw my middle finger up behind me, hearing his raucous laughter followed by the screech of his tires on the asphalt once again.

“You reckon this year will be any better?” Cash inquires, knuckles white due to how tight he is clenching the strap of his fanny pack that is thrown over his shoulder. He’s nervous. Contrary to what people believe, Cash is a sweet boy. He’s so loving, caring, considerate and kind, he has a lot to offer the world we live in. Nobody seems to see this though. Believing Cash is a good for nothing eshay that will make nothing of himself upon leaving school, most likely following in the footsteps of his mother and ending up in prison. Even he himself believes this.

“I don’t know mate, maybe for you, I mean you technically don’t even need to be here. I don’t have a choice unfortunately.”

“Yeah but that just means you’re stuck with me for another year kiddo.”

“I am literally a year younger than you.” I sulk, giving him a gentle shove in order to express my annoyance. “Besides, you wouldn’t have screwed me if you saw me as a kid.”

Cash stops in his tracks completely, I smirk, pleased that I’ve rendered him completely speechless and offer him a quick wink from over my shoulder as he jogs to catch up to me. We agreed to never speak of it. A one night hook up when we were both heavily under the influence of certain illegal substances. My heart was in pieces following the breakdown of mine and a particular church going brunette’s secret relationship. If you could even call it a relationship, we never exactly labeled anything, nor made anything public. However, it felt as though my heart had shattered, I’d never experienced anything like that before. Not even the pain of my childhood compared to this.

One thing led to another and Cash and I were stumbling into bed together. Both of us knew it was wrong, Chook would kill Cash if he ever found out. Fortunately it only happened once and while I wouldn’t say that I regret it, it did definitely put a strain on our friendship for a while. Mostly due to him being terrified of me telling my brother.

Remembering the memory, I can’t help but smile to myself. Even if it was just for that one night, Cash made me feel whole again. Like I was worthy of finding love. The dopamine from the positive recollection seems to crash like a wave over my body, uplifting my mood drastically despite heading into what is ultimately prison for the next seven hours. That is until I catch a glimpse of the one person I was hoping to avoid completely for the next year.

Anthony Vaughn.

“Oi there’s a fully gacked sex map in the old stairwell.” Shouts from the redheaded girl catch my attention and I’m grateful to be provided a distraction. “It’s called the incest map!”

Students from all directions flock together in a sprint towards the old stairwell. The scene could be described as something out of a nature documentary when a pack of wild animals chase after their prey together. It’s wild and chaotic, completely undignified. So, with a quick glance at one another, Cash and I also follow the crowd, taking off in a run to identify what a ‘sex map’ truly is, and why it is so interesting that the entirety of our school is racing at full speed just to catch a glimpse.

I thank my lucky stars that I’m not claustrophobic when I eventually manage to squeeze my way through the horde of students. Names are scrawled in huge letters across the wall, each with different lines and symbols linking one to another. There’s a key chart to the left hand side and it’s safe to say nobody’s sexual endeavours were safe due to how graphic the key chart was.

The usual suspects are on the map, those who aren’t quiet about their partaking in hookup culture, such as Darren and Dusty. Those in relationships are also unsurprising, for example Missy and Sasha are of course linked, having only just recently broken up. Other names however do manage to shock me, for one I was not expecting to see Quinni’s name on the map, nor was I expecting Cash. Following the three lines connected to his name, it’s only then that I realize in bright red letters accompanied by a pair of devil horns, is my name.

Y/N - hooked up - Cash. Y/N - blowie - Spider. Y/N - fucked - Ant. Y/N - destined - Ant.

With each passing second it feels like my heart has stopped, secrets revealed to the world that were supposed to never see the light of day. How did anybody know about this? Sure, Spider may have blabbed about me giving him a blowjob, most likely bragging to his two best mates about it as though I’m his latest conquest. However, what happened between Cash and I, as well as Ant and I was meant to be kept quiet.

With trembling hands, I begin to anxiously scan the room, looking for any sign that somebody other than myself may have noticed my name. Catching the eye of the brunette, who stands timidly between Dusty and Spider, I discern that he is just as concerned as I am. Fearful of the consequences of this coming out.

“Yo Ant, you fucked the eshay’s sister? Nice one bro.” Dusty shouts, clapping his friend on the back which only leads to the red blush on his face to creep to an even deeper crimson.

“You got further with her than I ever did.” Spider comments, a mischievous smirk spread across his lips. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Ant simply lowers his head, eyes focusing on his shoes which appear to be a lot more interesting than the map in front of him. I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that he won’t speak about us, but at the same time, I understand. With mates like his, I would want to keep things hidden from them too, especially if this is how they react. Not to mention his overly religious family upbringing and the overwhelming amount of shame he is afraid of bringing on his family.

“Hey, you okay?” Cash whispers, hand faintly grazing mine in a subtle attempt to offer his support.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Offering the mullet wearing boy a forced smile, trying to cover up the embarrassment of suddenly being the center of attention.

Continuing to stare at the map in disbelief, only the shouts of rowdy teenagers can be heard as they find more and more connections on the map that they hadn’t seen upon their first inspection. A few even run out in tears, the map ruining many people’s relationships, outing people and just causing pure humiliation for everybody that has their name scribbled across the wall.

“Hey, do you reckon if we ask real nice, Y/N will let us double dick her?” Spider asks Ant obnoxiously loud, nudging him as they both look over in my direction. Humorless expression evident on my face. “What, we’ve both already been there.”

Spider’s comment is directed to me, with him and Dusty both finding the utmost amusement in the entire situation. Ant, on the other hand, looks as though he wants the floor to swallow him whole, unable to make eye contact with me.

“Are you sure you’d be able to get it up? You and I both know how difficult it was for you last time and that was just for a blowie.” Without giving Spider a chance to respond, I’m pushing through the sea of teenagers, who are now staring eagle eyed between the blonde boy and myself. Invested in the very minor argument between us, a chorus of laughter can be heard at Spider’s expense. Even Dusty seems to take amusement in the mortification of his friend. As I brush past the trio, it’s hard to ignore the self-consciousness on their leader’s face. I can’t help but feel a small sense of pride, knowing that my comment really got under his skin. Eyes trailing over each of the guys, I notice that Ant is already looking at me, a regretful look on his face.

Unlike his two mates, Ant has always been the more caring of the three. Whilst still partaking, somewhat reluctantly, in the shenanigans that the other boys rope him into, he has always had more of a guilty consciousness. Often disclosing the amount of regret and guilt he felt due to some of their actions. Though, he made me swear that information to secrecy, not wanting the boys to view him as weaker. It’s one thing we regularly argued about, with him being unable to fathom the idea that having morals and a consciousness doesn’t make you any less of a man.

The deafening shrill of the school bell sounds whilst I stomp across the quad, alerting me of the fact that I should be headed towards the gym for the mandatory back to school assembly. Yet, I can’t bring myself to face it. Wanting to avoid Spider for a little while longer while I can in the hopes of steering clear of another confrontation. Half an hour into the new school year and I’m already wagging, what a great start.

Without turning to look back, I can hear the shuffle of feet as everybody begins to pile out of the old stairwell. Heading into the main school building, still, I tread on. Doing my best to sneak behind the science block and finding solace in the old dunnies that were closed off to students back in the nineties. Technically, nobody is supposed to be back here, I’m risking detention just by being here, though Cash and I continue to use it as a safe space to hide from the world whenever we need peace.

Rummaging through my bag, I’m quick to find the box of Marlboro Gold’s that I always keep stashed at the bottom, just on the odd occasion that I do feel the urge to smoke. It used to be a rare occurrence, these days, unfortunately it seems to be more of a recurring problem. I’ve hidden the habit from just about everyone in my life, not that Chook would care, he’s done far worse that I ever have. I just don't want people to perceive me as any less that they do now, I know smoking is a dirty horrible habit and yet I can’t seem to quit. So, as I spark my lighter, inhaling the toxic fumes, I begin to take comfort in the calm that fills my body from the lungs outward.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t think anyone was gonna be in here.”

My eyes sweep up from the ground, and if the baggy jeans and tie dyed jumper weren’t enough of a give away as to who stood before me the cross chain hanging from his neck certainly did. It’s the first time he’s actually spoken to me directly since the night everything came crumbling down eight weeks ago. When my eyes lock with his, I can’t help but take in his beauty as if it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him and before I can react the cigarette is falling out of my fingers.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

He points to the ciggie that is now beginning to burn out on the concrete floor. With an awkward laugh, I quickly pick it up, stubbing it out on the wall, humiliated that he caught me.

“I don’t really,” Playing with the ends of my hair as I desperately try to think of an excuse that doesn’t truly reveal the extent of my habit.

“Just needed to destress after this morning.”

“Yeah, crazy morning, right?” Ant asks, leaning against the doorframe as he attempts to make small talk with me. “Actually, do you have another one of those?”

With raised eyebrows I nod swiftly, pulling the pack out of my bag and offering them to him along with my lighter. He lights his and I do the same, after all I didn’t exactly get to finish the first one on account of dropping it on the ground.

“You wagging assembly too?”

My voice is quiet, unsure on whether he actually wants me to make conversation with him or he’d prefer to sit in silence. Despite my best attempts to not make it obvious, I watch as he takes a drag from the ciggie, allowing the smoke to delicately fall from his lips. It’s awkward not knowing where I stand with him, sure, what happened was a while ago now and I’d assumed we’d both moved on but that doesn’t make the entire situation any less awkward.

“Couldn’t face it, Spider and Dusty wouldn’t stop hounding me for all the details and I just needed some space.” Ant admits, picking at the skin around his fingers between drags.

“Oh right, I can leave if you want some space, I don’t mind.”

Grabbing my bag and hauling myself off the window ledge, I throw the end of my ciggie to the ground, ready to leave. That is until his hand grabs mine gently, his touch soft as I’m forced to stop and look at him.

“No, stay. You should stay.”

Ant offers me a small smile before letting go of my hand, the touch so fleeting and yet it still manages to make my heart flutter even just the tiniest bit. Sitting beside him on the cold, mucky floor, not minding the dirt if it means that Ant and I are one step closer to mending our friendship. Truthfully, I miss him. I miss him as a friend more so than anything. Our bond was one that you don’t find much in life, one that others struggle to comprehend.

“I owe you an apology.” His words catch me off guard, unaware that he felt the need to apologize to me, let alone, doing so on the first day back at school. Granted it hasn’t been any ordinary first day back. “I was a complete dickhead to you and you didn’t deserve it-”

“Ant you don’t need to explain yourself.”

“Nah, I do. I think I knew I couldn’t be the guy you deserved, and I got scared. It’s no excuse, I know that. Just believe me, I didn’t mean any of the stuff I said to you that night, I was so pissed, honestly, I hardly remember any of it. All I know is I woke up with the worst hangover of my life and you weren’t there.” He stops for a moment, collecting his thoughts with furrowed eyebrows, trying his best to put what he wants to say into words. “You weren’t there and then I saw the messages. Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t ever want to hurt you.”

He’s staring at me intently, eyes trying to find any glimmer of emotion on my face in an attempt to determine what I’m thinking. Opening my mouth to respond, I find myself rendered completely speechless. As I focus on Ant, I can see the worry in his eyes. Uneasy as to what I may have to say.

“Shit, sorry, I’m no good with words, I-”

“Stop talking Ant.” I mumble, putting an end to his rant before he can even properly begin. “Cheers for the apology, it means a lot.”

“Do you hate me?” The question is blurted out before he can stop himself. Shocking even himself judging by the way his widened followed by his head falling to his hands.

“I could never hate you. You should know that.” I tell him, his whole body instantly less tense as the relief floods through him. “I’ve actually really missed my friend. We should’ve never complicated things.”

I almost miss it, but there’s a flash of pain in the browns of his eyes as I say those last words, though he nods in agreement. The silence that follows is no longer awkward, instead it’s tranquil. Plainly embracing the warmth of the early morning sun in one another’s presence feels relaxing compared to the events that unfolded prior. Blissfully enjoying the reblossoming of our once torn apart friendship.

“If it isn’t Anthony Vaughn and Y/N Y/LN. You’ve not even been back a day and you’re already wagging.” Ms Woods’ tone is extremely unimpressed as she addresses us, evidently not happy that we’re getting into trouble this quickly. Ant and I can’t help but hold in matching mischievous grins. “My office now!”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So what were you and Ant doing in the dunnies together?” Cash mumbles the minute my brother is out of earshot and inside Harry’s diner, no doubt trying to chat up all the girls who are trying to eat their chippies in peace.

Slapping him straight in the chest, my eyes flicker towards the door of the diner, wary that Chook will pop out at any second and overhear our conversation. He feigns annoyance, dramatically throwing his hand up to his chest, acting as if I’ve just shot him.

“Oh my god, nothing!”

“I saw your names on the map Y/N, can you blame me for thinking you were trying to cop a root?”

“Shut the fuck up! Nothing happened okay?” I whisper as aggressively as I can, playing with the hem of my pinstripe mini dress in the hopes that I can distract myself from this conversation.

“I dunno, Amerie seemed to think you two were destined.”

“Who’s destined?”

Chook’s voice alarms me, head snapping up to spot the slightly older, male version of myself walking only mere feet away from Cash and I. His casual demeanor suggests he hasn’t overheard the rest of our conversation for which I’m thankful. Locking eyes with Cash, I shake my head in the subtlest way possible so he knows not to say a word. If Chook found out about the map, not only would I be dead, but Cash as well, so it’s in the best interest of both of us not to open our mouths about yesterday’s events.

“Spider and his imaginary girlfriend. That boy is gonna be in a serious relationship with his hand for the foreseeable future.” The lie slips off my tongue so easily that it’s rather concerning. Chook doesn’t question me, though why would he? I learned from the best.

“Sure. You prepared for the cemetery tonight kid?” Chook asks Cash, not even bothering to look up at him as he stashes the boot of the car with countless amounts of junk food he had just collected from Harry’s. “Thank god you stayed at school for another year, since this little bitch didn’t wanna take over as our connect.”

“My bad that I didn’t wanna be running around, pushing drugs for you for the rest of my school life.” I argue, Chook pulling faces as I speak in response. Deciding that this is an argument not worth having today, after all, it’s one we’ve had many times before.

“Yeah, all good brah.” Cash chimes in, answering Chook’s question to put an end to our petty argument before we can take it even further. Before we can get physically violent, even if it is only in a playful manner.

“You two best get going hey, maximize profit and all that.”

Cash doesn’t need any further instruction, hopping on his motorbike after passing me his fanny pack to store in the bag on the back. Something he always does in order to ensure that all his supply is kept perfectly safe while he drives. I’d consider it smart if I didn’t know it was drugs he was keeping safe. Chook jumps in his car, nodding in our direction as he flies out of the car park with Jayden and Tilla shouting out of the window at us. I can’t help but smile at their antics.

Cash offers me a hand on to the back of his bike, hiking my tiny dress up even further so that I can throw my leg over the vehicle. Wrapping my arms around his waist tightly, he watches in his mirror for me to nod before taking off. A habit he picked up when he first began to drive me around on what I like to call his ‘death trap’.

Dance music is belting from the many speakers when we arrive at the cemetery, a fire pit glowing in the middle of the makeshift dance floor as people crowd around it. The sun is already setting as we arrive, illuminating the party in a way that looks angelic. Upon reaching one of the many piles of drinks, it’s hard to notice Amerie dancing crazily, along with Darren, Quinni and Malachai. I point it out to Cash, the pair of us surprised that she has any friends left considering her actions.

Parting ways with the eshay I find taking a swig from one of the numerous vodka bottles before grabbing a bottle of bus, watching as Cash immediately begins to get to work, Sasha instantly running over to him the moment she spots him alone. Rolling my eyes, I plant myself further away from the party, sat with my back against one of the decrepit headstones.

I’ve always been more of an introvert. Opting to be a wallflower and observe rather than be the center of attention, unlike my fellow classmates who all seem to thrive when the spotlight is on them. I hate Amerie for forcing me into that spotlight.

Between sips of the slightly warm lager, I begin to roll myself a joint, figuring I may as well attempt to have a good time at the party. Even if it isn’t my ideal Tuesday night. I couldn’t let Cash come on his own though, not when he’s working for my brother.

“You are a bad girl Y/N Y/L/N.” Ant’s voice shouts from a short distance away, strolling towards me with a cheeky grin slapped across his face. “What is this? The second time I’ve caught you smoking now?”

“Right well I was just about to offer to share this with you but I guess not now.” I joke, lighting it up as Ant flops down beside me. “And technically, I haven’t even smoked this yet so you’ve only caught me once.”

“It totally counts!” Ant argues, waiting patiently as I take a couple of puffs before handing him the joint. “How’d your brother take it when he found out about the map?”

“You’re safe if that’s what you’re asking. I haven’t told him and he’s not the type of bloke that answers the phone when Woodsy rings.” He hands the joint back to me, fingers brushing mine tenderly. “Your mum?

“Not great. Amerie really fucked things up for me, I have to go to church three more times a week now, all because of one wristy and well you know.”

“Did you tell her the truth about us?” I inquire, wondering if he did come clean completely about our situationship of sorts.

“Nah, I told her it was just the once.” He admits, glancing at me sheepishly, almost embarrassed to recount the memory. “Figured that was better than telling her the truth. I may have also turned her that you were my girlfriend at the time, you know, to kind of make it better. Not that she approves of premarital sex or anything and I know we didn’t label what we were but it sounded better in the moment. I hope that’s okay.”

“Lying to your mother Anthony, that’s not very christian of you!” I gasp, to which he snatches the joint back out of my hand in retaliation, laughing along with me.

“Fuck yourself.” Ant chuckles, blowing the smoke directly in my face without any warning, causing me to descend into a fit of coughs.

“What’s the deal with you and Cash anyway? You two a thing now?” Ant’s not looking up at me when he speaks, all his attention fixated on the crowd of teenagers partying in the distance. Anxiously pulling blades of grass from the ground beneath me, I continue to gaze at him, a sigh falling from my lips as I had hoped he hadn’t noticed the line between Cash and my name. It was inevitable that it was going to come up, I had just hoped it would be something that people skirted around, not asking any direct questions.

“Nah.” The word is faint, shaking my head, my eyes fall on the boy in question, completely unaware that we are speaking about him as he stands in conversation with Darren. “We’re just mates.”

The boy nods besides me though I can tell he doesn’t truly believe me, still unable to look in my direction. Nudging him slightly, I give a small smile when he does hesitantly face me. “We hooked up once a few weeks ago, I was pretty much black out and he was just there. It was a fucking stupid decision.”

“Just mates though?” Ant asks, more of a rhetorical question, as if to reassure himself, much to my confusion as I can’t see why it would matter to him whether we were just mates or not. “Okay but who was better?”

Bloodshot eyes and a lazy smile indicate to me that the joint has hit him quicker than either of us expected. Warm blush present on his cheeks, his head tipped back against the headstone , gazing up at the stars that begin to light up the late summer skies.

“You’re so stoned.” I comment, completely dodging the question in the hopes that he’s too high to remember what he had even asked.

“Just like old times, yeah.”

Ant’s fingers brush over my hand just barely, the touch so slight that I wouldn’t have felt it had I not been looking in that direction. Thumb softly tracing circles across the back of my palm, skin feeling as though its been set alight with every small movement. Turning my head, I find Ant already staring at me, mouth curved upwards into a slight smile.

“I wish I never cooked it with you.”

Despite knowing that he is as high as a kite, his words still manage to catch me off guard. Forcing me to pull away, leaning back to take him in properly. From his somber expression to the deep intensity with which he looks at me, awaiting a reaction.

“Cops!” Before I can respond, shouts from the party grab my attention. Head spinning round to see the chaos unfolding, teenagers running in every direction, some scream, whilst others laugh. “Cops! The cops are coming!”

“Oh shit.”

Discarding the bottle I had been nursing, I hop to my feet within seconds, Ant, who now looks surprisingly sober, does the same. Without hesitation, he is grabbing my hand before we take off in a sprint, running in the opposite direction of the flashing lights and sirens that are rolling up to the gatho. As the crowds disperse, I find myself scanning through the seas of people, looking for a certain eshay that would get into a lot of trouble, should he be caught. “Where’s Cash?” Voice breathy, I force Ant and I to a halt, searching my entire field of vision for any sign of him, head spinning so fast that I’m shocked I didn’t give myself vertigo. “Ant, I can’t see him. Where’s Cash?”

“Y/N we need to go.”

With his free hand, Ant easily slides it around my waist, using all his strength to pry my feet from the pavement. Regardless of my unwillingness, I allow the boy to lead us away from the party. Not wanting to run the risk of getting caught, so instead I recite prayers in my head that Cash also hasn’t been caught.

Upon reaching the locked gate, Ant wastes no time in easily pushing me up so that I can scramble over the metal. He does so with ease, a proud display of his strength and it makes me blush. Reminiscing on the ways he used that strength before.

Running hand in hand down the noiseless streets of Sydney, I find myself giggling at tonight’s events. The prospect of an exciting, if slightly chaotic year eleven rises upon the horizon and I can’t help but display my enthusiasm at seeing where the next few months take me. (Hopefully, with Ant by my side, but nobody needs to know that.)

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