#any german speakers who are reading this I am so sorry

[visorforavisor]

as an Irish (we don’t call it “Gaelic”, ever) speaker and a Sunny fan, I thought it would be fun to do a bit of a post about the Irish-language scene in The Gang’s Still in Ireland, because it’s not a scene I see widely discussed but I adore it.

some background. I am not a native Gaeilgeoir (Irish speaker) — my first language is English — but I started learning it age five and have always had very high grades in it and a huge love for it. I was hugely excited about Charlie Kelly being able to read Irish in the previous episode, and even more so when he turned out to be able to speak it.

Colm Meaney, the actor who plays Shelley Kelly, grew up in Ireland and as such would have learned Irish throughout his time in school. (this has been required by law more or less since Irish independence, and it was already quite common before that. nowadays, you can get exemptions for things like dyslexia but otherwise you have to do it.) this is clear in his ease with the language. (I will do a post about where in Ireland Shelley lives at some point, because there aren’t many areas where Irish is the principal language, but that is for another day!) both the actor and the character have easy and good Irish.

Charlie Day, as an Italian-American, obviously does not actually speak the language and presumably learned the lines as a bunch of gibberish sounds. (nonetheless, some of his pronunciations do suggest he had the words written down non-phonetically too.) his delivery of the lines is god damn amazing. Charlie Kelly’s Irish is not remotely American-accented. if I heard someone speaking Irish like that, I’d assume they sounded Irish when speaking English. he doesn’t even sound neutral in Irish; he does actively have an accent (the word choices are more non-regional, not pointing to any of the three distinct dialects, but this makes sense as the same is true of Shelley’s Irish). his pronunciation is so on point and his accent is seriously just a delight to listen to. that’s serious effort to have been put in by an American in a show that routinely makes fun of Irish-Americans! I cannot stress enough how cool it is to see my national language like this and how good a job he does.

as a side note, Charlie Kelly finding Irish much easier to read than English makes total sense! he clearly has dyslexia, as well as intellectual disabilities and autism, so literacy being tricky is totally fair, but is probably being made worse in English by how much of a god damn ridiculous illogical irregular mess the language is. English has around two hundred irregular verbs, and that’s before we even begin to consider the irregularity of its spelling. Irish has eleven irregular verbs, multiple of which are only irregular in one tense. its spelling is entirely consistent and, once the rules are known, any word (pretty much) can be flawlessly pronounced from reading it or flawlessly spelled from hearing it. (I promise Irish names make sense. just not if you try to use English rules on them. the languages are very different!) Irish is one of the most regular languages out there.

so, I thought I’d go through the actual scene. I’m going to put each line, the direct translation, the subtitle provided, and a comment. hopefully this will be interesting to someone other than me!

·—·

“is mise do pheannchara, a Charlie.” (Shelley)

direct translation: “I’m your pen pal, Charlie.”

subtitle provided: “I’m your pen pal, Charlie.”

okay, so they translate “pen pal” two different ways in this scene. the first, used here, is “peannchara”. this is a compound word, much like all those long words you get in German. it’s a perfectly good choice given there is no one standard choice for translating that concept.

“tá brón orm, ach ní thuigim cad atá ráite agat. is féidir liom gibberish a léamh, ach ní féidir liom í a labhairt.” (Charlie)

direct translation: “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you’ve said. I’m able to read gibberish, but I’m not able to speak it.”

subtitle provided: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you just said. I read gibberish, but I don’t speak it.”

I would slightly disagree with the subtitles here. the “just” bit isn’t expressed at all. in fact, there is no Irish equivalent to that word, and we often just use the English one in the middle of an Irish sentence because of this. however, I expect that RCG (Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton) wrote the subtitles and then handed them to an Irish translator, in which case the translator did a perfectly good job. a couple of notes about the use of “gibberish” here. I love it. firstly, we totally do drop English words into sentences like that. secondly, I really like the choice to use the feminine form of “it” here (that is, to make “gibberish” a feminine noun). all languages except English are feminine nouns in Irish as a rule, so it’s just a lovely detail calling back to the fact that Charlie thinks of it as the gibberish language. also, Charlie Day really does absolutely nail that voiceless velar fricative (the consonant sound in “ach”, as in Scottish “loch” or any number of German words), a sound even many natively English-speaking Irish people are lazy about. good on him.

“níl aon ciall le sin. sé á labhairt anois!” (Shelley)

direct translation: “there’s no sense to that. it’s being spoken now!”

subtitle provided: “that doesn’t make any sense. you’re speaking it now!”

I adore the phrasing of the first sentence here. thoroughly authentic. there are much more obvious ways to phrase it, but this is absolutely what a native speaker might go with. same goes for the second, actually. Colm Meaney says the second line in a sort of shortened way (same idea as how we might turn “do not” into “don’t”) so I’ve struggled slightly with how to directly translate it. interestingly, Shelley categorises “gibberish” as a masculine noun here, but this isn’t really wrong since it doesn’t have an official grammatical gender due to not being an actual Irish word. just a little odd. also, to fit better to the subtitle of the second sentence, I personally would’ve gone with “tá sé á labhairt agat anois” rather than “tá sé á labhairt anois” (the full version of what Shelley says), as this includes the information of by whom it is being spoken.

“’s é mo dheartháir mo chara pinn.” (Charlie)

direct translation: “it’s my brother that’s my pen pal.”

subtitle provided: “but my pen pal is my brother.”

firstly, to be clear, the nuance of the sentence structure here is not captured in either of the above translations because there simply is not an English equivalent to it. secondly, Charlie uses a contraction here by shortening “is é mo dheartháir mo chara pinn”. super cool. also, there’s that other translation of “pen pal”! this one is “cara pinn”, which uses the Irish genitive case (the word mutates instead of using an equivalent of the English word “of”; this case also exists in other languages including Swedish, German, Latin, and Greek). I like this translation very much too. both work! Charlie Day again delivers this line really nicely, even stressing the word for “brother” (and pronouncing its initial consonant mutation absolutely gorgeously)! I am truly very impressed.

“níl aon fhírinne le sin, a mhic. ’s é do chara pinn… d’athair.” (Shelley)

direct translation: “there’s no truth to that, son. it’s your pen pal who is… your father.”

subtitle given: “no son. your pen pal is your… father.”

so, I really disagree with the first sentence of the subtitles here. it works, but also misses a lot of the beautiful nuance that could have been got. I would have gone with “that’s not true, son” or, more likely, “that’s not right, son”. I also disagree with the placement of the ellipsis in the second sentence, as you see (and my frustrations in translating this sentence structure to English continue, as well). however I like the use of “a mhic” (“son”) here, very much. this is a mutated form of “mac”, meaning “son” (yes, as in all of those Irish surnames; they all just basically say who the person is the son of). it carries both meanings that exist in English: an actual son, but also the use of the word as an affectionate way to refer to any man younger than the (usually male) speaker. this is a really nice choice.

·—·

so, yeah! those are my thoughts. feel free to ask any questions you like. I love this scene so much. as well as the reasons above about how good the translation and delivery is, I also love two other main things about this.

firstly, the level of dignity given to the language. Sunny makes fun of Irish-Americans all the time, but doesn’t really do the same to Irish people from Ireland, which I like (I do also wanna talk about Mac and Charlie as members of the Irish diaspora because it is so so interesting, but that is for another day). Irish as a language is not often given dignity, especially in American or English media, so I really love that it isn’t the butt of the joke here.

secondly, that such a significant scene is delivered through this language. just wonderful. after fourteen and a half series, we finally discover the biological father, and the scene cannot be separated from this beautiful language. it just is so perfect.

RCG, and of course Charlie Day in particular, we Gaeilgeoirí (Irish speakers) thank you! our little language made it to the screens of so many people around the world.

I hope this was interesting haha.

·—·

edits: fixed some things I mistyped.

[rune-folk]

Hei, Hei!

Welcome to my blog!

I’m a 29 year old woman living in Norway, and you can call me Runa!

This blog is about Norse Myth, Norse Aesthetic, Nature, as well as other things that simply make me happy. So, I want to share things that excite me or make me smile.

I post my own photography, ramblings about the myths, or even about my own life. If personal stuff does not interest you, I tag all that with #runarambles so you can simply block that tag!

I am in a weird spot between being an atheist and believing in the Norse Gods, it is quite complicated and I don't fully understand where I am standing myself. I am mostly devoted to Oðin, because he has intervened in my life a lot, and is basically the reason why I am where I am.

I have a slight obsession with Figg, Frau Holle, Frau Perchta and Baba Yaga, who are four figures in Norse, Germanic, Alpine and Slavic folklore that are very interconnected. In general, I am very interested in exploring Germanic Paganism, Slavic Paganism and Alpine Folk Traditions, because these are the places my family comes from, and I want to know more about it.

In my everyday life, I am a scientist, and speak German, English and Norwegian. I am not a native English speaker, so if something I write sounds weird, I am sorry.

I enjoy sewing and making my own clothes, am also into historical sewing and re-enactment, and love water-colour painting, and writing stories. I am engaged in historical fencing (with the Longsword, Dagger, Sword and Buckler, and Langes Messer), love history, and enjoy learning new things, going to museums and ancient places, and wandering through nature.

That is about everything, I suppose!

Profile Picture: me in the forests around the Celtic village in Schwarzenbach, Austria

Header Image: a picture I took of Borgund Stave Church, Norway

My photography sideblog is @forestruin

                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~

And an important Disclaimer at the end:

Sadly this has to be said, as the Norse community is overrun with bigots.

I strongly believe that the interest in Norse culture should be inclusive and open to everyone who resonates with it. I am a feminist, and strongly disapprove of racists, misogynists and homophobes, who appropriate the Norse symbols for their disgusting agendas. You have obviously not understood (or even read) the stories and poems, if you think that Norse believe and your bigotery are in any way compatible.

Women are amazing and not less than men, they are not your property, but multidimensional human beings worthy of dignity and respect! You are not better than anyone else, because of the colour of your skin, or the country of your birth!

Therefore:

Do NOT follow me if you are a right wing idiot, US American patriot with a gun fetish (I mean it! I will block you!), Odinist, misogynistic patriarch, hyper masculine Grimfrost-dude-bro, or any other kind of these people, who have to compensate their fragile masculinity by trying to be overly #Viking

I do check every blog that follows me and instantly block 1) the kind of people mentioned above 2) p*rn blogs and 3) empty blogs (aka no name, header, reblogs. idc if you are a real person, as a tumblr veteran this screams bot to me).

That is all!

Ha det bra! ~

[airenyah]

get to know me ask game

considering i was tagged by 4 different people (@lurkingteapot, @recentadultburnout, @telomeke, @nongnaos -- thank you guys <3) in the last two-ish weeks i think it's about time i finally get to this. sorry i'm late dfkgkldfgkldf

RULES: bold the ones that are true and tag some people to do it.

APPEARANCE

Blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing [it's just so much more comfy lbr] // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair [i had red highlights as a child and i've gone blonde twice] // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails [sort of -- i used to for quite a while bc it's the only thing stopping me from my horrible nail biting habit but unfortunately i got lazy during lockdowns and now i hardly paint them anymore] // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument [i've played the violin on and off since i was 5 years old (currently at 3 years of lessons since my last break), i also played the piano from age 7 to 19 and the recorder from age 6 to 15 (that is soprano recorder, alto recorder, tenor recorder and even bass recorder for a semester or so)] // I am artistic [i'd say so... i mean i'm not the most talented person but i HAVE worked as a professional graphic designer for a year and a half and i sometimes make gifs (if you want to see them then search for the tag meine grafiken on my blog)] // I know more than one language [lmao i mean... i'm not a monolingual english speaker so... ok but in all seriousness: my native language is german/austrian dialect and obviously i know english. part of my family is italian so i know conversational italian as well (plus it's one of my working languages at uni). i can understand conversational norwegian and i'm slowly starting to understand more and more conversational thai (i'm at a point where i can watch a lot of shows without subtitles and understand the main plot, even if i miss some details) i had french in school and remember some basics (like how to introduce myself and some specific vocabulary like colours or numbers) and i've also looked into korean so i can read it and i know some basic grammar and a few words here and there] // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim [perks of being part italian means that unlike most austrians i actually learned how to swim in the mediterranean sea hehehe] // I enjoy writing [kinda?? i enjoyed writing stories in school but i never really write in my free time although sometimes i think i'd like to. but then when i sit down to do it i just never have any ideas and so i give up] // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing [i went to an elementary school with a music focus which is why i played 3 instruments and my class was also a choir. i also took group singing lessons at the local music school in my teens. if i had the time and the money i'd get some solo singing lessons. i've considered looking into it for the coming winter semester] // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends [i love them so much 🥺🥺🥺] // I travel during work or school breaks [i love traveling internationally when i can afford it. i also travel within austria sometimes, especially since they introduced the klimaticket which is a ticket that lets you use a whole bunch of public transports from trains to trams to busses all around austria. every few months i go visit my friend who studies in southern austria] // I can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year [i don't really care much for dating and relationships tbh] // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years [we met at summer camp 12 years ago and we're celebrating our 10 year anniversary of being best friends this winter -- hi @magsimags ily] // my parents are together [i don't understand how but somehow they've made it work for lthe past 30ish years idk] // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends [i mean if it comes up or if they actively ask for it then sure] // I have made an online friend [a few actually, i've made quite a few online fandom friends and then i also have a few online language tandem friends] // I met up with someone I have met online [i've met up with a bunch of language tandem partners irl that i found online first. as for my tumblr mutuals, there are 4 in total that i've seen irl -- you know who you are <333]

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise [let me be clear, it was bc i pulled an all-nighter or was suffering from insomnia. NOT bc i'd voluntarily get up at an insane hour in the morning to watch the sun rise. plus in the winter it's a lot easier to watch the sun rise without meaning to bc if you happen to have class or work early in the morning you might actually get to see it rise while you're on your way there] // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars [one time during summer camp we spent the night on a field underneath the stars, it was very lovely] // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me [i like spring!! i like summer!! i like warmth!! chirping means it's spring or summer and warm!!!!] // I enjoy the smell of the beach [i spent a significant amount of time at the mediterranean sea when i was a child and i miss the sea so fucking much. unfortunately austria is a landlocked country] // I know what snow tastes like [it snows in the winter in austria, you can bet your ass i've eaten snow as a child] // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms [only in the summer tho and when i'm safe and sound inside and it's not keeping me up in the middle of the night when i'm trying to sleep] // I enjoy cloud watching [kinda!! i mean the sky is so pretty like!!!!] // I have attended a bonfire [not big ones but we regularly had fires at summer camp] // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean [idk if i'd say i find mystery in the ocean but i sure find it fascinating] // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend [around certain people i absolutely turn into the mom friend, but not around everyone so i won't make this red] // I live by a certain quote [yeah "wenn's passt, dann passt's". it's tricky to translate, something like "if it's a good fit, it'll work out". the literal meaning is "if it fits, it fits" or "if it works out, it works out"] // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep [sometimes?????] // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

since i'm late to the party i have absolutely no idea who's gotten tagged already so if you've done this already or don't want to do it at all feel free to ignore!!

tagging: @solo-silenzio @magsimags @newyearknwwme @killiru @gaym3bo1 @elnotwoods @swabianhotpocket @cornflowershade @gillianthecat

[might-as-well-happen]

I want to talk about how language and dialect is written in Stoker’s Dracula. I know some people have already written about this, with much more insight that I could have, but as someone who’s not a native speaker, and specifically Dutch, I want to focus more on Van Helsing’s language. (Disclaimer: I don’t know a lot of German, so my arguments about German may be wrong - feel free to correct me if so!)

You see, he is described as a Dutch man, and it is clear in his sentence structure and tense usage, that he’s not a native English speaker - or specifically British. But, the sentence structure and verb tenses he uses are not reminiscent of the Dutch language structure or verb tense usage either. It’s not even reminiscent of German (which is the language that Van Helsing speaks - not Dutch and yes I’m still mad about it. Dutch and German are not the same, y’all!)

So, I wonder then what have Stoker the idea to make Van Helsing Dutch German, but have him use this different, I want to say “generic” Non-English sentence structure.

In the passage from September 22nd, Van Helsing doesn’t the verbs, and he uses ‘he’ in places where it does not make sense to do so. In Dutch you would have conjugated the verbs, so why would Van Helsing with 7 PHD’s not know to conjugate the verbs in English - even after a breakdown? Why would Van Helsing say “the laugh he come just the same” when it would’ve been more logical (for a Dutch or German speaking person) to have said “the laughing comes still/even so/anyway” since in Dutch one would probably say “het lachen komt toch/alsnog”. Also, the rest of the sentence (which I hadn’t marked in blue) does not make sense if Stoker wanted to show that Van Helsing was not an incredible English speaker, because “But no more think that I am all sorry when I cry” doesn’t feel Dutch either - it would’ve been more like “But think not (any)more that I am all sorry if I cry” as to be translated from the Dutch “maar denk niet meer dat ik zielig ben als ik huil”. As to regards of the “laugh he come” I don’t even know. It’s not Dutch at all, and I could see it being German, with the Der (masculine the) and er meaning him - it still doesn’t make sense, since Der is not er, and Der would not have been used in that spot in the sentence.

[image ID: a passage from September 22nd with some parts highlighted in a light blue (which in this ID will be bolded) reading:

"Ah, you don't comprehend, friend John. Do not think that I am not sad, though I laugh. See, I have cried even when the laugh did choke me. But no more think that I am all sorry when I cry, for the laugh he come just the same. Keep it always with you that laughter who knock at your door and say, 'May I come in?' is not the true laughter. No! he is a king, and he come when and how he like. He ask no person; he choose no time of suitability. He say, 'I am here.' Behold, in example I grieve my heart out for that so sweet young girl; I give my blood for her, though I am old and worn; I give my time, my skill, my sleep; I let my other sufferers want that so she may have all. And yet I can laugh at her very grave—laugh when the clay from the spade of the sexton drop upon her coffin and say 'Thud! thud!' to my heart, till it send back the blood from my cheek. My heart bleed for that poor boy—that dear boy, so of the age of mine own boy had I been so blessed that he live, and with his hair and eyes the same. There, you know now why I love him so. And yet when he say things that touch my husband-heart to the quick, and make my father-heart yearn to him as to no other man—not even to you, friend John, for we are more level in experiences than father and son—yet even at such moment King Laugh he come to me and /End ID]

Furthermore, on September 25th there are some peculiar things to note in Van Helsing’s language. Throughout the book (or emails haha) he uses articles consistently (as far as I noticed), but here he suddenly doesn’t when he says “I came to see that was friend” which reads weird to me, since the Dutch use articles and especially Germans use articles. It would have been more logical to have said “I came to see she who was the friend” since that is how you would’ve said it in both Dutch and German. Furthermore, when later on he says “In great perplexity then I come to you, and ask you out of your so much kindness…” it doesn’t make sense either - in Dutch at least. If one had gone for complete Dutch sentence structure it would have been “come I then to you” and if one had gone for something that was a bit more like English it would be “I then come to you”. As with the “out of your so much kindness”, I don’t even know what Stoker was doing here, since it should have been “ask you from/of the good/kindness of your heart” since that’s also a saying in Dutch. I don’t know if it makes sense in German tho, but Dutch people wouldn’t have said it that way.

[Image ID: a passage from September 25th with some parts highlighted in a light blue (which in this ID will be bolded) reading:

"It is Mina Murray that I came to see that was friend of that poor dear child Lucy Westenra. Madam Mina, it is on account of the dead I come."

"Sir," I said, "you could have no better claim on me than that you were a friend and helper of Lucy Westenra." And I held out my hand. He took it and said tenderly:—

"Oh, Madam Mina, I knew that the friend of that poor lily girl must be good, but I had yet to learn——" He finished his speech with a courtly bow. I asked him what it was that he wanted to see me about, so he at once began:—

"I have read your letters to Miss Lucy. Forgive me, but I had to begin to inquire somewhere, and there was none to ask. I know that you were with her at Whitby. She sometimes kept a diary—you need not look surprised, Madam Mina; it was begun after you had left, and was in imitation of you—and in that diary she traces by inference certain things to a sleep-walking in which she puts down that you saved her. In great perplexity then I come to you, and ask you out of your so much kindness to tell me all of it that you can remember."

"I can tell you, I think, Dr. Van Helsing, all about it." /End ID]

Anyway, all that to say that I think it’s weird Bram Stoker made Van Helsing Dutch (but actually German - he literally said “Mein Gott!” which is German) and then made his language usage to be Different from “proper” English to signify that; and then he even messed up on making it sound sufficiently German or Dutch! The thing that made it stand out to me though is that he doesn’t give Van Helsing a ‘visible’ accent or dialect, like he does with the people from Whitby or the zookeeper, etc. He doesn’t write Van Helsing saying things “laik zis” or “wiz a vizibel egzent” (if German) or “laik tis” “wit an vissebowl exent” (if Dutch) or however you would write accents like that. I have seen some other people on here mention that it’s probably classism and intellectualism, which I would agree with - Van Helsing is smart, these fishermen and townsfolk and Romani people are not, and Stoker visualizes that through the writing of accent and dialect.

I don’t know why Stoker made this choice to have Van Helsing be Dutch/German and have him speak in English that’s not based on Dutch or German grammar when he says things sometimes - especially when emotional, it seems. He might just not have done any research, but still. If anyone has more thoughts on this, I’d love to discuss it with y’all!

I don’t really remember where I was going with this, it was just something that I noticed and wanted to point out I guess, but it may not make a whole lot sense, idk. Also! I’ve said it before but my German is not good, and maybe it does all make sense when Van Helsing is actually German. I don’t personally think so, but Germans feel free to correct me!

[olderthannetfic]

reading level anon here. thank you so much for that detailed explanation, i really appreciate it! and if you have a spare moment and willingness in the future, i'd love to hear more about your opinion on whether languages are hard and how they're classified. i didn't consider english as a particularly difficult language either before i've started seeing those posts about reading levels and how english is so quirky and basically three languages in a trenchcoat which always pisses me off, 'cause sure, english is quirky and interesting, but not any more than all the other languages. i would actually love to see people trying to learn and struggle with hungarian (my native language) for a change, i'd be so ready to answer any questions and muse about homonyms and other linguistic features, turkish loanwords, puns, etc, and just help out with learning any way i can, but that obviously will never happen because very very few people want to learn hungarian. i am also an english major because i never think important life decisions through. anyway, sorry for being bitter in your inbox and once again thank you for taking my question seriously and answering it so thoroughly.

--

Ooh, Hungarian!

Having known friends who did try, your language actually is a gigantic pain in the ass. Hahaha. Hungarian, Basque, and Navajo would be my picks for languages people I know actually attempt and then go "Oh no!" about.

I'm sure there are plenty of other Native North American languages that would stump people just as badly, but nobody I know attempts any of those.

Obviously, language "difficulty" is inherently relative. Spanish is dead easy if you're a native English speaker with a big vocabulary and good verbal skills. Japanese is tricky. But I wouldn't say Japanese is really that hard in an objective sense. It's simply more distant from English than Spanish is.

(For reference, I'm fluent-ish but out of practice and never very colloquial in Spanish, can read a little Japanese, and have studied but am garbage at Mandarin, Russian, German, and French. Uh, plus some Old English and various other things. Korean, here I come!)

--

So are any languages inherently "hard"?

I'd say yes. I'd break it down by aspects of languages, and some things make them hard to learn at the super beginner phase while others are a pain even once you know a lot, but some genuinely are harder than others. It's not just about distance from one's native language.

Languages face pressure to be easy to produce, e.g. easy pronunciations, regular conjugations, limited vocabulary, simple writing systems. They also face pressure to be easy to understand, e.g. words that sound extremely distinct from each other, lots of words with specific meanings, unambiguous written forms.

In certain ways, reading Japanese is actually pretty easy. Characters are a nuisance to learn, but once you know them, they remove a lot of ambiguity from writing. They can also be used for puns, including visual puns. In Japanese specifically, they're often used for shit like all those proper nouns in One Piece that have furigana giving some ambiguous English loan word name as the pronunciation but kanji that make it more obvious what the proper noun is referring to.

ノースブルー with 北の海 for example. Even if you speak English, "North Blue" isn't that clear. 海 makes it clear it's the name of an ocean.

Characters also have a lot of internal logic (radicals, standard stroke directions). They're taught abysmally by most Japanese texts for English speakers that I've seen, but bad teaching isn't the same as the thing itself being hard.

I also think people often focus too much on the writing system, whether it's English's spelling... uh... quirks or Japanese' use of multiple systems together. In a practical sense, you have to know the dominant written form in order to study most languages easily, but the core of a language is speech, so I think classifying them as hard/not hard just based on writing is dumb.

What factors should we evaluate hardness by?

My main criteria are:

complexity

predictability

commonness of a feature compared to other languages

I wouldn't look at something being a language isolate in and of itself, but a language isolate may have features that are pretty uncommon in world languages, and that is something I'd look at.

To pick a really obvious example, the middle voice is uncommon. Most languages have active voice and passive voice. Other voices aren't that common. Though, wow, according to wikipedia:

Some languages have even more grammatical voices. For example, Classical Mongolian features five voices: active, passive, causative, reciprocal, and cooperative.

What the shit, Classical Mongolian? What is all of that???

I'm told Basque is full of the ergative and it confuses the shit out of learners.

Mandarin tones scare native English speakers because Tones Scary, but it only has the 5, and they sound decently different. As tonal languages go, that's really not that bad.

Grammatical gender isn't predictable from the nature of the thing (a table or whatever), but in many languages like Spanish, you can guess from what letter the word ends in. A language where you can't guess would be harder.

I don't really count quality of learning materials as part of the language's native difficulty, but that's obviously a factor too. English has a wealth of instructional materials for people coming from basically every language. A lot of Native languages of the Americas have learning materials in English or in Spanish or not at all, so you'd need to know one of those languages and/or travel to where the few native speakers are to learn.

Is English difficult?

English is not three languages in a trench coat, really. People say that because they're thinking about vocab and know fuckall about how languages work. Here's how I'd evaluate English:

Grammar: easy - weaksauce Germanic grammar with all the case-marking stripped out and some word order stuff solidified as a consequence; no grammatical gender; plenty of irregular verbs, but they tend to go in sets that have the same pattern; conjugations aren't that complex; we don't indicate politeness or formality with grammar

Pronunciation: easy to moderate - English has a medium size sound inventory compared to world languages. Many of its sounds are extremely common ones. The few that are less common you can get away with mispronouncing without being totally unintelligible. Still, th (θ and ð), r, ʒ, and possibly our ch and sh sounds are a problem for lots of learners. We have a lot of words that differ only by a similar vowel sound, and our vowels shift around between dialects, so that can be slightly tricky for listening comprehension.

Writing system: moderate - Our spelling isn't random, but chunks of it operate on one set of historical rules while other chunks of it operate on others. There is logic: it just doesn't apply to every word the same way. OTOH, the lack of phonetic spelling is helpful for distinguishing homophones while reading.

Vocabulary: moderate to hard - English has a fuckton of words. Just so many. There's no standard for judging what counts as an individual word, but however you slice it, English has more than our Germanic neighbors or the Romance languages we ripped off much of our vocab from. We also love our acronyms, which all sound the same because they are acronyms. (A thing one of my old language teachers bitched about from her English learning days.) Politeness and formality are often conveyed with word choice in ways that are hard to pin down. It's more of a sum total effect thing than one with precise rules. OTOH, most normal people use a very small inventory of words in speech, so you could get by with a much more basic set of vocab to start with.

Dialects: easy - English has no official standard and a number of countries where it's the official or de facto language, but they're all highly mutually intelligible and grammar works the same. (Well, okay, maybe less so if you're looking at the extremes of Caribbean creoles, but still...) The differences tend to be minor spelling changes and a handful of basic vocabulary items that mean something hilariously different. There is very little gap between written and spoken English compared to many languages with written forms. Writing is just speaking plus some extra vocabulary and a little more formality.

Speed of evolution: bad, v. bad, red alert - Every language has slang and evolves, but English seems to be especially speedy and gung ho about this, probably because we don't have much of a standard and we're so colloquial. We love coining new words, and anything that sounds like an affix gets shoved on all of the things. (And unlike an agglutinating language, this isn't something that's going to be clearly explained in a textbook.) English is neologism hell, especially if you're hanging out with nerds on tumblr.

--

Personally, I'd put English at the upper end of easy, edging into moderate. The hard bit is memorizing our eighty bajillion words, and that's easier than if the hard part is the basic grammar. Our spelling sucks, but most native speakers can't spell worth a damn either, so even moderate gains in that area make a learner able to get by with spellcheck.

And procedurally, we're pretty easy because we produce the full range of media, so you can easily find a book for 5-year-olds or 10-year-olds or 15-year-olds to practice on. Avoiding English on the internet would be a lot harder than finding some, and there are zillions of resources out there for learners.

For hard, I'd pick languages with shittons of case-marking or with way more than three grammatical genders. Procedurally, I'd pick languages from the Americas because genocide and forcible suppression of native languages have led to many of them having few native speakers, few closely related living languages, and not much media in them. Some don't have any written standard at all.

I don't know a ton about Hungarian, but from what I do know, I'd put it at the upper end of moderate or the lower end of hard for your pain-in-the-ass case system. Ugh, case. My nemesis!

[jamespotterthefirst]

Heartbreak

Open Heart, Book 1, Chapter 10 (Part 2)

Retold through social media posts and messages

All posts here

Posted Saturday 

10:53 PM

23 minutes before 

______________________________

Received Saturday

10:56 PM

20 minutes before

______________________________ 

Posted Saturday

10:57 PM

19 minutes before

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

10:59 PM

17 minutes before

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:15 PM

1 minute before

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:18 PM

2 minutes after

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Lilac Allende

Transcript of voicemail:

Hey you! Sorry I called you late! I was baking my world famous German chocolate brownies and lost track of time. You know how I get. You weren't answering so I'm guessing you fell asleep. I'll talk to you later, okay? I can't wait to hear all about this trip! 

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:31 PM

15 minutes after

Hi Carrie, 

Are you ready to murder me yet? Given my lack of response in the last few days and the frequency of your emails, I would imagine you are. 

I'm alive. 

And in Miami, seeking inspiration in the turquoise sea and in the overpriced bottles of red wine this hotel insists on passing off as top shelf. Probably not something I should be admitting to my agent but here we are. 

The manuscript is going well. Actually, I should say the manuscript was going well… Until I decided to scrap it and steer it in a completely different direction. Before you stop reading here to pass out or call me twenty five times, please hear me out. 

Untitled_Mystery_Doc will still be a mystery at its core, except now the two leads will surrender to a forbidden romance. Detective Prescott must fall fiercely and hopelessly in love with Selene Obispo. It was something the writing was demanding of me all along, but I lacked the inspiration to bring their tension to fruition. That changed thanks to the Celestial's lavish oceanside balcony view. 

Earlier tonight, I was leaning over the railing of my balcony, glass of that aforementioned wine in my hand, watching the last remains of a reception of some sort in the distance. A delighted, lilting laugh from a nearby balcony broke my concentration. It was from a young woman who looked to be no older than you are. Even from a distance, I could tell she was a vivacious creature, radiating the type of effortless beauty that would have even the strongest of beings hanging by her every word. In an inky blue dress, she looked so captivating, it was no wonder the man at her side could hardly keep his eyes away from her. 

This man, Carrie. 

He was, without a doubt, the handsomest specimen I have ever seen. A true Romantic hero come to life from the pages of every classic novel in the catalog. Tall with piercing eyes and a jaw so sharp, it could slice through even the strongest of convictions. He possessed the type of good looks that were striking, like the powerful fissure of lighting. 

The pair seemed to alternate between conversation and companionable silence as they enjoyed a drink. Every so often, when he was certain she wasn't looking, he would glance at her almost desperately, as though rushing to take in as much of her before the precious seconds ran out. He was not aware that in those moments when he contemplated the vast ocean before them, she would do the same. 

After another lull in their conversation, the young woman looked at her phone, a pensive crease on her brow as she searched for something. Seconds later, the notes of a song began to drift from the speaker of her device. The man scoffed, inspiring more cheerful laughter from her. Despite his annoyed front, his expression softened as he watched her. 

More silence and then they started what sounded like a solemn conversation. As they spoke, he looked conflicted, his fingers gripping his glass as though reason and restrain were slowly ebbing away. 

Fragments of what they were saying reached me.

“…higher I aspire, the more I stand to lose.”

“I...certainly understand that.”

He stood then, with the conviction of someone seeking to run away from the ineluctable. 

When he stopped at the railing of their balcony, however, he turned to her, shoulders deflating as though realizing he didn't want to run anymore. Finding her there at his side was confirmation that she was an inevitability, a constant in his existence like his binary star. 

It was confirmation that she was done running too. 

He was saying something then, the words coming out in a desperate rush. She didn't seem to mind though, patiently listening and offering reassurance. 

“... Your risk paid off.”

Those words seemed to be the denouement of their time together because his gaze took her in with undeniable clarity. 

“It did...and I’m beginning to realize…” 

The way he looked at her then, with over-spilling yearning, would have inspired poets throughout the ages. Even if I had a hundred years to write, I could never capture the utterly lovelorn way in which he regarded her.  

“There are some things that are worth any risk.”

And then he kissed her. Their bodies gravitated closer to one another, reveling in the novelty of having her in his arms at long last. And even though this kiss erupted with the euphoric urgency of the first time, there was familiarity in the way he caressed her, in the way she stroked his jaw. As though they had spent long, agonizing moments before this memorizing one another. 

All of this was painted clearly before me in the seconds before I stepped away. 

I could not justify stealing any more of this moment from them. Particularly when the desperation in their movements acknowledged the race against the clock. They both knew that this stolen moment would eventually conclude. 

I am inspired, Carrie. 

Even from afar, I could tell these two yearned for each other. Their kiss was the inevitable culmination of forbidden longing, beautiful yet heartbreaking all at once. 

It's exactly what was missing from my manuscript. 

Let me know your thoughts. 

How's Gigi? Did you like the groomer I recommend? 

Sincerely, 

Andrea  

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:32 PM

16 minutes after

To Whom It May Concern;

My name is Lisa Burkett in room 4087. This evening, my husband and I witnessed a couple in a nearby room making out. They were extremely loud and explicit. The woman even climbed on top of the man at some point. 

This is appalling since we're here with our children. Luckily they didn't see this happening. 

Please put me in contact with a manager. This is unacceptable for a resort that advertises being family friendly. 

Attached you will a picture of the incident. That's how exposed and close to us they were. 

Sincerely,

Lisa Burkett

Attachment: 

______________________________ 

Received Saturday

11:39 PM

23 minutes after

______________________________ 

Sent Saturday

11:41 PM

25 minutes after

______________________________ 

Searched for on Saturday

Googled by Ethan Ramsey

11:56 PM

40 minutes after

______________________________ 

Searched for on Sunday

Googled by Lilac Allende

12:03 AM

47 minutes after

______________________________ 

Searched for on Sunday

Googled by Lilac Allende

12:06 AM

50 minutes after

______________________________ 

Listened to on Sunday

Audible library accessed by Ethan Ramsey

12:46 AM

______________________________ 

Searched on Sunday

Googled by Ethan Ramsey

1:03 AM

From “Student Doctor Network” accessed at 1:11 am

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

Sibling group chat titled “Y’all look familiar”

Members: Laurel Allende, Lilac Allende, Jaime Allende

1:36 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

from: Naveen Banerji

to: Ethan Ramsey

1:59 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

2:17 AM

______________________________ 

2:46 AM 

The Celestial Incident Report 

Camera footage transcript 

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint 

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, exits his suite, careful to shut the door as noiselessly as possible. 

This man has seen better days. 

His hair is disheveled and stubble mars the jawline that wreaked havoc among The Celestial's guests and staff alike. The doctor looks downright exhausted, as though he hasn't slept a wink all night. Full disclosure, I'm a measly hotel employee, writing an incident report no one will ever read so I don't know how to put this delicately. But here goes nothing: the man looks as though his lack of sleep is not from the reckless fun Mrs. Burkett complained about but rather the lack of it. 

Dr. Ramsey hesitates mid-stride, looking at the door as though it poses a mystifying dilemma. Jaw working, he seems to decide something, jolting forward to take hold of the doorknob.

Reason seems to catch up to him because he exhales noticeably and releases the doorknob as though it scorched his skin. Looking angry but determined, he strides down the hall toward the elevator. 

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

3:18 AM

______________________________

Received on Sunday

3:54 AM

_____________________________

Accessed via Ethan Ramsey’s camera roll

4:13 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

7:20 AM

______________________________ 

Failed Login on Sunday

Nurses’ Station desktop | Third Floor 

7:53 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

from: Bryce Lahela

to: Brittany Ryan

8:01 AM

______________________________ 

Searched on Sunday

Googled by Sienna Trinh

 8:01 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Wayne Bradley Torning

8:19 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

8:35 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

8:51 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

9:02 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

9:15 AM

______________________________ 

9:32 AM 

The Celestial Incident Report

Camera footage transcript

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, dressed in pool attire, grapples with the key card to his room, the technology somehow perplexing to a man who went to med school. The struggle is short lived because the door swings open from the inside, revealing the second guest on file, Dr. Lilac Allende. 

Again, no one reads these anyway so I can confidently say that if I wasn't a goddamn professional, I would've promptly slid into her DMs. She would've rejected me, of course, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, am I right? 

Dr. Ramsey freezes as his eyes land on her, the muscles of his back tensing. Dr. Allende instinctively does the same, eyes going wide, much like a defenseless bunny facing the snarling snout of a wolf. They stay motionless in stunned silence for so long, I had to check the footage to make sure it hadn't frozen. 

After what seems like an eternity, Dr. Ramsey clears his throat and averts his eyes, as though interested in the carpet's God awful pattern. This reaction is definitely the wrong one because Dr. Allende pulls herself to her full height, eyes alight with fire. 

Goddamn. My bunny analogy was way off because this girl looks anything but defenseless when she is this pissed. 

“I came back to change,” he explains, probably feeling her glare burning into his face. 

“We need ice,” she says at the same time, lifting the empty ice bucket she holds.

They definitely don't need any. The ice in her voice and demeanor is enough to stock the poolside bar during spring break. 

Dr. Ramsey looks at her then and when their eyes meet, an unspoken conversation passes between them. Slowly, her resolute anger begins to melt. Unmistakable hurt flits through her features and this time, she's the one to look away. 

What the hell happened with these two? 

Before Dr. Ramsey says anything, she moves around him and strides down the hall with unstoppable determination. He moves to follow her, but with considerable effort he forces himself to stop, watching her disappear instead. 

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

10:22 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

10:51 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

10:59 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

11:36 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

11:41 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

11:58 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

12:04 PM

______________________________ 

Edenbrook Hospital on Yelp

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

1:23 PM

Full transcript of review:

This review is regarding the "care" I received from one Dr. Lilac Allende. Is it normal to almost die at the hands of your doctor? I didn't think so either. Yet here we are. I went in because I had a horrible chest pain that got worse with each day. They assigned Dr. Allende, an intern, to me which was already kind of subpar but it's reduced cost medical care right? I should have trusted my gut because she diagnosed pneumonia and prescribed macrolide antibiotics azithromycin…. which I am allergic to!!! Don't they have charts for this reason? 

Or maybe she can't read English given the language barrier. Do they need to start printing patient charts in whatever foreign language she speaks to avoid death? 

I don't need to give you the gory details of what happened next, right ? 

Anaphylactic Shock. Code blue. Defibrillator. I found out I wasn't the first patient this happened to under her care. There was an almost identical incident on her first day. When I tried to complain to management, they brushed it aside. Word around the hospital is that her boss favorites her. Figures. 

______________________________

Received on Sunday

1:49 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

1:56 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

1:57 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

1:58 PM

______________________________ 

Drafted on Sunday

status: NOT SENT

1:59 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

3:23 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

4:03 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

4:13 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

5:26 PM

from Sienna Trinh

to Wayne Bradley Torning

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

5:41 PM

from: Sienna Trinh

to: Danny Cardinal 

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

6:32 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

6:36 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

6:45 PM

______________________________

Sent on Sunday

6:52 PM

______________________________ 

Received on Sunday

7:10 PM

______________________________ 

7:26 PM

The Celestial Incident Report 

Camera footage transcript 

Hall 4000

Written by: Anthony Romero

Re: Guest Complaint 

Guest, Dr. Ethan Ramsey looks like a tortured man as he paces in front of their door. He runs restless hands through his hair, completely unaware of the effect this has on the majority of the staff reviewing this footage. He pauses in front of the door, pinching the bridge of his nose and raising his gaze upward, as though sending a silent prayer to anyone listening. 

Jesus, Buddha, Beyoncé—whoever is up there, help this poor man out. 

The door opens, causing him to flinch slightly. In the threshold stands Dr. Allende, wearing one of the hotel's fluffy, white robes. Though she is fully covered, save for her legs, Dr. Ramsey still blushes, as though aware of what lies beneath the fabric. 

Dr. Allende, meanwhile, crosses her arms, leaning against the doorway as she studies him. This time, when their eyes scan one another, it's not with the frustration or resentment from the morning. 

“Come inside.”

Her voice is quiet. 

Dr. Ramsey's jaw clenches. 

“Lilac—” 

“We can't.” Acceptance ripples through her voice. “I know.”

Dr. Ramsey looks at her with an acute mixture of misery and longing. 

“We can't ignore each other forever though.”

“I know. That's not what I want either.”

She nods once in response. 

More silence.

“You're not angry anymore?” 

The question is unexpected because her gaze snaps up to his. 

“I wasn't angry at you, Ethan,” she says after a pensive pause. “I was angry at myself for refusing to let go of what happened. I just want to put it behind me without a backward glance, like you did.”

Those last three words get a reaction out of him. His jaw clenches and strains with effort, his shoulders looking equally as tense. He looks away from her, perhaps afraid that if he continues to look into her beautiful, earnest face, he will contradict her. 

The way he had been pacing in front of her door only minutes prior, the way he looked at her this morning, the way his hand gripped the door knob the night before—all of it suggested her assessment as wrong. He was just as trapped in the previous night as she was. 

“Lilac, I'm sorry about last night.”

She looks stunned for a brief second. When she recovers, she shakes her head in a tiny movement.

 “I'm not.”

He takes in a long breath, allowing hope to filter through his expression. 

“Now, come on. We have an early flight and my boss is making me go into work right after we land.”

“Sounds like an asshole.”

“The worst,” she agrees with a hum. 

His quiet chuckle and the way he shakes his head is the last thing the camera captures before he follows her inside. 

______________________________ 

Posted on Sunday

8:34 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Sunday

10:01 PM

______________________________ 

Posted on Monday

3:56 AM

_____________________

Posted on Monday

4:23 AM

_____________________

Posted on Monday

8:03 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Monday

8:16 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Monday

9:11 AM

______________________________ 

Posted on Monday

9:56 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Monday

9:57 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Monday

10:03 AM

______________________________ 

Status change on Monday

10:21 AM

______________________________ 

Received on Monday

11:33 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Monday

11:50 AM

______________________________ 

Sent on Monday

12:33 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Monday

12:40 PM

______________________________ 

Sent on Monday

12:49 PM

_____________________________

A/N: I really hope you liked this because I poured my whole heart and two brain cells into it! Did you find my little Easter egg?

A few things:

I was going to include the song playing on MC’s phone in the balcony but decided that everyone has a different one. And I love that. Mine is Nirvana by Sam Smith. What’s yours?

That Yelp ordeal happened in real life at my old job. It was the shadiest shit I have ever seen. Even the meanest bitch at work was so shocked that someone would be this much of a snake. Someone printed the “review” about a coworker and posted it everywhere for everyone to see like Regina George. It was awful.

 People also wrote computer passwords everywhere and just left them lying around. These computers had highly confidential info but people didn’t give a single fuck.

 I picture Ethan picking up the Hamilton book because MC is obsessed with the musical. Plus, he’s a history nerd. But listening to it reminds him of her when he’s trying his damndest to forget about her. LOL good luck bro 

I really debated having MC text him a risky picture after the kiss. But then I figured a) this is self-indulgent and b) once he kissed her, all reason and all restraints went out the window.

 Thank you to everyone for being so patient while waiting for this! Thank you to @aestheticartsx for finding some of these amazing pics. She is the best! 

 I love you all.

-Bree 

________________________

tags: @openheart12 , @takeharryandgo , @trappedinfanfiction, @aestheticartsx, @aworldoffandoms, @paulfwesley, @myusualnerdyself,  @rookie-ramsey, @ohchoices, @colossalpainintheass, @enmchoices, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker, @choicesfanaf, @openheartthot, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe, @utterlyinevitable, @kites-in-our-skies, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, @choicesstan1​, @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​, @nikki-2406​, @lilypills​, @chasingrobbie​, @nooruleman​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​, @ruinedbypixels​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​, @tsrookie​, @mvalentine​, @professorkingslay​, @drakewalkerfantasy​, @casey-v​, @helloblueeyedcat​, @mysticaurathings​, @blossomanarchy​, @thegreentwin​, @togetherwearerapture​, @rookieoh​, @ramseysno1rookie, @rookiemarsswiftie​, @natashajaniphilchoices​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​, @hatescapsicum​, @choices-lurker​, @kiara-36​, @junehiratas​, @danijimenezv​, @macy-ray85​, @adrex04​, @canigetanawwjunk​, @sanchita012​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​ , @scorpiochick8​, @skylarklyon​, @starrystarrytrouble​, @mercury84choices​, @drariellevalentine​, @ethanrcmsey​, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost​, @kaavyaethanramsey​ , @udishaman​, @a-crepusculo​, @quacksonlover​,

@varikasnuori​, @dimitriwife​, @genevievemd​, @shanzay44​, @fabi-en-ciel​, @trebondialanna​, @emotionalswift2, @lady-calypso​, 

(If I forgot anyone, please DM me!)

[runeterrankhaleesi]

Hi, I would like to request a matchup for Valorant

About me, I'm a 5'2 tall lesbian girl with dyed pink hair (like the draculaura from Monster High). I have very pale skin and light brown eyes.

I'm learning english (sorry for any mistakes) and i also speak portuguese, spanish, german and french fluently. I like to learn new cultures from different countries and I like to delve mainly in the language.

I'm ambiverted, but mostly introverted. I'm shy with whom I'm not intimate.

I'm more of a listener than a talker, but it depends on the day.

People say that I am a very critical and observant person.

They tell me a lot for me to stop being so "serious" so I think this is a defect of mine that should be worked on. I've also been told that I have a mortar look??? hahahah

But in fact, what few know is that I am very affectionate, I like to give affection and receive, especially hugs. I'm the type of person who makes a letter with words of affirmation.

We hugs I like more to be the one who receives and to be the smallest spoon.

I really enjoy giving surprise gifts to other people. From her favorite food to something expensive she might be wanting.

My hobbies: I love reading and/or writing, I like listening to music and dancing and I like to learn new things about different subjects.

I pair you with...

RAZE!

Why? Because...

Raze's cheerful, outgoing, optimistic, chaotic, and party-animal personality is what makes her get along with people instantly, it's no wonder how you two became the best of friends within a matter of seconds.

She was the first one to confess. She was nervous-terrified to be exact. You two were friends, really good friends! You were partners in crime! And she didn't want to potentially ruin it by confessing her feelings and telling you that she a crush on you. But when you told her that you felt the same, you have no idea how happy she was. Her heart exploded like fireworks. She immediately arranged a fun date for you two. Couple dates later and now here you are, in a relationship.

Raze does her best to help you learn and improve your English. At first, she found the language hard to understand as a fellow Portuguese speaker, but overtime it got easy and soon enough, she was fluent. Additionally, Raze's pet names for you are in Portuguese, it's to keep the others from not knowing what it means since it's meant for you and only you.

Since you love learning new things about other's people culture, Raze will introduce you to the other agents. She loves to see you get along with them, she considers them as family, especially Killjoy and Jett. In a few days, she'll find you speaking "good morning" or "hello" in another language you just learned.

Like you, Raze is an ambivert. It mostly depends on her mood. Some days she'll stay inside and work on her tech, even offering to teach you how to tinker with stuff or letting you paint and doodle on it. While other days you'll find her outdoors, jumping around with her satchels or riding her skateboard. She's more of a talker, she loves to tell you how her day went, there's that sparkle in her eyes whenever she talks about something she found interesting.

Raze loves everything about you. She doesn't care if you're "too serious" or have a "mortar" look, she will actively fight people if they say that you should change. "Be you." She always say, "Don't let other people tell you otherwise.".

She's quite the hugger, she gives bear hugs and will practically squeeze you to death. It's just a way of showing her love. She'll cuddle you anywhere and spoon you. And she loves to be in the receiving end of your letters and gifts, it makes her feel special and loved. Raze actually keeps one or two letters in her pocket when she's on a mission so that whenever she touches her pocket, she feels the paper and gets reminded of what you wrote, making her smile and more motivated to finish her mission quicker so she can go home to you

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.

Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom

A Week Before The Surgery

Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.

Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.

Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will  hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.

But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.

Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.

Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.

As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.

Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.

Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.

“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.

Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-

Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.

Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.

Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.

“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.

The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.

‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.

“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”

The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.

Alistair was correct… She was right on time.

‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.

“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.

As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.

‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.

“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.

Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.

“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.

Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.

‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.

“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.

‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.

“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.

‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-

“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.

‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.

“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.

‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’

“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”

-- -- --

During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment

Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.

Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.

Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.

For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.

‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.

No new messages from Lena.

Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.

Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.

So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.

What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.

Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.

Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.

“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.

“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.

“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”

Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.

Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.

Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.

“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.

Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.

When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.

Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.

Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.

“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.

The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.

“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.

Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.

“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.

Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.

-- -- --

Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.

“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”

‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.

“Have you tried asking Lena further?”

‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’

Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”

Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.

“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.

‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.

“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”

Emma nods.

“More than usual, less or about the same?”

‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’

“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.

“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”

‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’

Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.

And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.

‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’

“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.

‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’

“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”

Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’

“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”

Emma nods.

“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”

Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.

“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.

‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.

The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.

“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”

‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.

“How are you feeling about that?”

‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’

“Terrified? About the procedure?”

Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.

“Emma?”

‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’

“How so?”

‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’

“And if that happens?”

Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?

“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”

Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’

“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.

‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.

“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”

Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.

Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.

“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”

‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.

Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.

Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.

“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.

‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.

Nothing happens.

“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.

“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.

‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.

“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”

The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.

She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.

Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”

The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.

“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.

‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.

“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”

‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.

“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”

‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.

“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”

Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.

‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.

“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.

‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.

“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”

Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.

“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.

‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’

“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.

Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.

What’s going on?

Did she have powers?

How could that be?

Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.

She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.

As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.

“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.

But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.

“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.

“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.

Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.

Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”

“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.

“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.

Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.

Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.

“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.

“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.

“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.

“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.

Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.

“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”

Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.

“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.

“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”

The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.

“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.

As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.

Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”

“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”

Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.

“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.

“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.

“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.

“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.

Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.

Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.

“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”

“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.

“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.

“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”

“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.

“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.

“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.

“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.

“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.

Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.

“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”

“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”

“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”

“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”

“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.

“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”

“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”

“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”

“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”

The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.

Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.

“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.

“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”

“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”

Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”

“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”

“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.

“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.

But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.

“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”

Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.

“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.

Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.

“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”

“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.

“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”

Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”

“Chinese and pizza.”

“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”

“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.

“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.

“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.

“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”

But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”

“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.

“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.

“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.

“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.

“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.

“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.

“Thanks Em.”

The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.

When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.

‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’

But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.

The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.

“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.

Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”

Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.

“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.

“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.

“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”

“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.

“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.

“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.

“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.

“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.

“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.

Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”

Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.

The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.

When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.

“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.

Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.

“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.

Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.

“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”

“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.

She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”

Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”

“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.

Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.

“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.

“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.

“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.

Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.

Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.

They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.

Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.

“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.

“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.

Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.

“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.

The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.

In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.

“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.

Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.

“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.

“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.

“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.

“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”

“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.

Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.

“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”

She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.

“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.

“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.

Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.

“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.

Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.

“But then it's not a movie marathon!”

“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.

“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.

“Emma was signing to you.”

“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.

“But then it's not a movie marathon.”

“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”

“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.

‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.

“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”

“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.

Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.

“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.

“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.

“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.

“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.

Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.

‘Should I tell them?’ Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’

Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.

Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.

‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.

“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”

Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.

“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.

Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.

Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.

“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.

“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.

“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.

-- -- --

Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.

“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.

“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”

“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.

“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.

“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.

“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.

They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.

When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.

“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.

Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.

“Are you okay?”

Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.

Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’

“I’m nervous about next week.”

“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.

But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”

“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.

“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”

Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.

Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.

Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.

“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.

But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.

Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?

As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Part Thirty Four)

[sophierequests]

meet the writer

Navigation

“I believe in all kinds of things. Ghosts. Gnomes. True love.”

oh, who is she?

—Hello again! My name is Sophie (who would’ve guessed that?), and I go by she/they pronouns.

— I’m currently 19 years old, and in university, studying to become a teacher (try guessing the subjects I want to teach, I dare you lmao).

— I started getting into writing a few years ago when I still had a Star Wars writing blog, but I didn’t really enjoy writing for that fandom anymore. So when I took a creative writing course this year, I was immediately thrown back into my writing obsession.

— I’m not an English native speaker, hence why there might be some little mistakes or just decently weird sentence structures in some of my fics lmao. Other languages that I speak/am able to understand are French, Dutch, Spanish and German.

— My current obsession is the entirety of the Grishaverse, and I am not sorry to admit that. I have read all of the main books and binged the Netflix show embarrassingly fast, so make of that what you will. It’s legitimately one of my favourite fictional universes.

— Next to the Grishaverse, I also enjoy watching period pieces, Marvel movies, horror movies and so many more. I read a lot. Some of my favourite books include anything Dostoyevsky, Austen and the Bronte sisters, but I also have a huge interest in other gothic novels and (obviously) fantasy books. I read the Cruel Prince and I really enjoyed it.

— My favourite colour is green, but I don’t think that I dislike any colour in particular. Colours are just neat man.

— I love listening to music, even though my music taste is absolutely chaotic. Some of my favourite musicians are Mitski, The Crane Wives, Hozier, Phoebe Bridgers, Fiona Apples and a few other folk punk bands. I’m also really interested in Irish and Scottish traditional music!

— Cats are my favourite animals, followed by frogs and rabbits. I have a nine-year-old cat, which I would die for in an instant.

— I’m super fascinated by religious studies and the effect they have on our culture and the way we perceive things. Also, I’ve started trying to learn more about Indian and South Asian countries and their cultures.

— Some other random facts about me: I love plants, I’m a vegetarian, I love winter, I’m a Virgo, an INFP and a Ravenclaw, so basically I am just a female version of Wylan Van Eck. I hate crowded places, deadlines, having to redo my eyeliner like 20 times before it looks acceptable and wearing pants (dresses and skirts for the win).

a mysty memory

[microwave-thoughts]

I'm bored so traveling to Poland tips because I am polish and, as I said, bored. Also I've traveled a lot so I guess I can compare things. This is very long. Also no one will ever read this. Did I spend like an hour writing this? I'm bored when did this become an investigation stop asking questions and go read it I was bored. I'm not an expert but like I've lived here my entire life.

Safety

We are really safe as I just found out. There isn't a lot of violent crime and there are no terrorist attacks (I'm not saying they can't happen though, they just haven't yet lol)

The biggest issues are pickpocketing and scams. For the scams taxis are a kinda popular place for that so make sure they are an official taxi with like a number and a name of the company on it or use Uber

Race related stuff

As I said not a lot of violent crimes but they do happen sometimes, they could be about race, but honestly there really isn't a lot of violence here. Casual racism is a different story though, there is a lot of it here, sadly. Some people might say some offensive shit and I have to say that in many cases it's them being stupid not them being hateful. If people stare at you there is a big chance they aren't doing it in a bad way it's just that we are a country that is over 90% white and people are just curious.

Generally it should be a safe place for you, some people just might say stupid shit.

Women

Generally speaking it's a pretty safe country. It can be pretty sexist but nothing that will affect your travel. Normal stuff just maybe try to not go to places alone at night, but if you do you should be fine.

Lgbtq+

Sadly not a very tolerant place, but again, generally speaking you should be fine. Maybe don't go around telling everyone about it? Sorry if this sounds mean lol I am gay and I live here and I'm surrounded mostly by accepting people but I know not everywhere is the same

Ok time for something less concerning lol

Language

Our language is polish. Most people speak two or more languages. English I'm pretty sure is the most popular one but the best speakers are usually younger people. If you speak Russian look more for people that are 30+. German is pretty popular so you might find some people speaking it. If you use any Slavic language if you can understand some polish while not knowing it polish people should understand some of your language. Some other popular languages - French and Spanish. Don't expect people to know them though.

Here is a tip - learn a few words in polish. Some really basic stuff like hello goodbye thank you or names of food or something (We know you know the word "kurwa", no need to tell us, it literally means "whore", so don't do that, that's weird, we use it kinda like "fuck"). We LOVE when people try to speak our language. People might try to teach you a few other words if they see you trying idk just because it's fun. If they do you can teach you something in your language idk have fun. That brings me to

People

Polish people are kinda known to not smile a lot but I feel like we are really friendly. If you ask someone for help if they understand you they will help. We aren't a very popular country so we love foreign people wanting to learn about Poland.

Food

We have a lot of great food. The main things you should try: pierogi - our dumplings. We have both sweet and not sweet versions. They are like the most iconic polish food. Soups - we have a ton of types of soups they are pretty good if you want something popular you can try our broth (rosół) , tomato soup (zupa pomidorowa), or vegetable soup (zupa jarzynowa). Our meat thing? idk what to call that in English (schabowy) is very popular and it's pretty good. It's usually with potatoes and some vegetables. Crepes with sweet cheese are great (naleśniki - crepes, z serem - with cheese). You can always ask for something typically from here they will probably give you something good lol. Some of our dishes might seem weird from the description but trust me most of it is good.

Our food is mostly meat but if you are vegetarian/vegan you should find some options, it's not rare here. If you are lactose intolerant (I am so that's what I know about) or something like that look for bigger shops they should have more lactose free things. They are usually purple so that helps with searching for them. Most shops have at least lactose free milk.

Alcohol

Polish people generally like to drink but it's illegal to drink in a public place. I have to say that most people don't really give a shit about that lol. You can buy alcohol if you are 18 but it's not very unusual for a parent to let their teen have a drink or two.

Travel

In bigger cities you should get around by just a bus pretty easily. They can be late so prepare for that and they can sometimes say the wrong bus stop so when you get close to your destination look out the window whenever you stop, there should be a sign with a name there. Usually there isn't an issue though I'm just saying it happens once in a while. You can easily find taxis or get an Uber but as I said be careful with the taxis (in the safety section).

Money

Our money is called "złoty". We also have "grosze" 100 of them make one złoty. We have coins (1gr 2gr 5gr 10gr 20gr 50gr 1zł 2zł 5zł) with 1 2 and 5 zł easily recognizable (they are bigger) and bills (10zł 20zł 50zł 100zł 200zł). 500zł bill exists but I've never seen it, it's not really popular. Also since, you know, 5 zł exists don't lose your coins they aren't worthless.

Poland isn't a rich country but it isn't poor either. For Europe we are somewhere in the middle. My estimate is that our prices are about half of what they are in the USA, I could be wrong but that's what I've noticed (maybe a little more then that depending on where you are)

In conclusion - pretty safe, but be careful where you put your money, let's say affordable, people are helpful and should know some languages, don't be an ignorant asshole, have fun and try some food from here you won't regret it.

Also if someone actually reads this for some fucking reason and plans to go to Poland idk write to me I'm a bored polish person who speaks pretty good English and I like to help people. If you have been to Poland then write to me that's fun I wanna know how it went lol

Poland isn't the most beautiful or interesting place in the world but we have a lot to offer and it's just a nice place with some interesting history and cool places idk what to tell you. Have fun lol safe travels

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Do you have any sort of, words of encouragement, for a Greek-American who is struggling to learn Greek? My family is pretty connected to our heritage but I was never taught to speak Greek. I am an adult now, and I know I'm at an incredible disadvantage trying to learn a new language. The most discouraging thing is when I try to pronounce a word with a sound that isn't really in English (like γ) and I KNOW I am not saying it right, but no matter how hard I try I can't pronounce it correctly.

Hello! I'm very sorry for delaying this answer for some days, but as we see here, Zeus was fucked this week 😅

I will pin my answer so you can see it when you return, and the rest will be under the cut.

I believe there are MANY reasons for hope in this situation. Of course it feels very discouraging that you don't know the language already and you might feel left behind in this process. Plus, learning a new language is not an easy thing to learn. But worry not!

You are grown, and that means you can learn a language better and with more consistency and discipline. Have trust in your skills as an adult. What is more, you have grown up around Greek speakers and you will pick up certain things faster.

You are not alone in feeling this way. Most of the world has to learn a second language (and a third, as it's usual for many) and that would be the language most dominant in the wider area. Almost every person in the West who is not an English speaker has to learn English and learn it well, otherwise we feel embarrassed every time we try and form a sentence. For example, we apologize to each other about our accents in English German and French, even though we speak Greek.

Surely there are some differences between your situation and ours, but I mentioned this to show you that most people will be very understanding with accents because they have the same struggle. I mean, I'm not going to make fun of someone for having an accent in Greek when I sound like a demented chicken in German, despite taking years of lessons 😵 I have more confidence in my English but even now that I'm writing to you in this language I have to quadruple-check my sentences and phrasing. The amount of times I apologized in advance for my accent to English speakers is higher than my credit.

I relayed your situation to other Greek speakers and non-English speakers, and ALL agreed the accent is not anything they would pay attention to and told me to write you that you shouldn't feel bad about that. I did that because I knew they would have words of encouragement for you. And it turns out they believe exactly what I'm writing in this answer.

Accents are natural. You cannot expect not to have an accent when you have been speaking a different language all your life. Beating yourself up for having difficulty with the Greek pronunciation is like beating yourself up for something normal like walking or laughing when hearing something funny. You lack practice with the pronunciation due to circumstances beyond your control. You are doing what you can to change that, and every small win is worth celebrating!

I found this post the other day:

The notes? The likes?

And NO disagreements in the comments and reblogs for OP’s statement! Look how many thousands are supportive in this! (And that’s a small fraction of people who understand accents are natural.) And some of the responses:

Sure, some mention they have met native speakers who made it more difficult to feel comfortable with their accent and phrasing. But those people are assholes in general, and not the people you want to surround yourself with. If a relative expresses disgust about your accent remind them you didn’t have any control of how much and how well you were taught Greek when you were a kid, and then tell them that if they are a true friend and relative to you, they should support you in your journey. And even if you had some control and chose not to learn, you are learning now. So they should leave their resentment behind because, honestly, what do they have to lose from you learning the language better??

For the embarrassment you feel for yourself: you wouldn't make fun of a Greek for having trouble with the “r”, "s", “ch”, and possibly the "h" when speaking English, so extend that kindness to yourself when you speak Greek. Not to mention that with enough practice and time you can nail the accent!

Worst case scenario, if the accent never leaves, that's no problem whatsoever. Anyone who thinks badly of you for your accent is probably a PoS and they don't deserve your time. No matter where you are from, if they make you feel bad for having an accent in Greek, block them from your mind forever.

But chances are that (from experience) if anyone laughs with how you said something, I guarantee they are not laughing at you but because of how strange the sound or phrasing was. The person doesn't think badly of you because of this. Making mistakes of any kind when learning a language is very natural and it's something everyone must accept. If you are not willing to make mistakes and expose your language vulnerabilities to people who know the language better, might as well not try improving at all.

If anyone corrects you, they are not doing it out of pity. The majority of Greeks do it because they are very happy you speak the language and want you to be even more fluent. Like, they are doing it as an act of backing you up, they are feeling like they are giving you that extra XP to reach the next level! Others - like me - get that rush of happiness when they get to share their language with others 😁

I remember a guy on Tiktok who was learning Greek and ordered a coffee "without sugar" in a Greek cafe but instead of saying σκέτο ("without") he said σκατά ("shit"). I mean damn that was funny! I remember it weeks after I saw the video of him telling that story and it always cracks me up. Do I still appreciate him the same as before and follow him? Absolutely! He just had an unfortunate - and funny - incident, not something that lessened his integrity as a person.

From tiktok again: An American girl wanted to pronounce γύρος correctly when ordering it, and she was mumbling to herself on camera: “yeero, yeero, yeero!!” When her time to order came she shouted “May I have a gairow? FUUUUCKK FUUCK FUCK I SAID IT WRONG” 🤣

Another example is Athena from the Bachelor 2! She has given some gems throughout the show because she doesn't know the language that well, but everyone still loves her because she spreads positivity and is so cute!! If we, as viewers, disliked her it would be because of her character, not because she doesn't know the language well. And if some of the other girls in the show don’t take her seriously is because she laughs too much and mentions feta too often, not due to her Greek level of literacy. Athena, even when she is hurting someone else’s feelings, is always so genuine and you just can’t be mad at her!

I really can’t stretch enough how people laugh at the mishap, not the person! Please don’t feel discouraged if you ever see a Greek laughing with the pronunciation of an English speaker when it comes to Greek words (which I have done as well) because we never laugh at the speakers. We don’t even know them! We might laugh at one mistake but then instantly want to become this individual’s friends because we think they are amazing (see the three examples I mentioned above, the sugar guy, the gyro girl and Athena). Because that’s the normal thing to do; laugh at fun stuff and not judge people for their small mishaps. (In a casual setting, and not to an uncomfortable degree ofc!)

There are so many things to a person other than their accent and the accent becomes old news really fast. What remains is how the presence of a person makes you feel and if they are a good individual. If an English speaking friend says yatakai instead of γατάκι that opens the way for sooo many jokes! Greeks will laugh, do some YATAKAAIIII screams - ninja style, and then continue being friends with that person!

Greeks makes these mistakes as well... A Greek once said "arrive arrive" (φτάνει φτάνει) instead of "enough" when an English speaker was filling his glass. A Lower English degree caught fire that day 🤣 I have many bad examples of Greeks’ mistakes in English but I can’t remember a lot. But I’ve seen many videos of Greeks mocking themselves for how they sound in English. You can take a look at Tsipras’ (our former prime minister) mistakes on youtube if you are feeling brave 😂 (Ο Τσίπρας μιλάει Αγγλικά)

So, own your possible mistakes, laugh at them and move on because everyone makes them and we better have some good while we are struggling!

(( For the record, we are not making fun of Tsipras because of his accent, but because 1) he doesn’t know γρι English and yet he rarely brought a translator with him in international meetings with world leaders, 2) he could absolutely not hold a conversation with negotiating or discussing 3) he didn’t take steps to improve or fix the situation (like bring a translator). 4) Instead, he chose to torment us all with mind-numbing hours of reading English texts and making other world leaders struggle to explain to him what they meant for the nth time and meetings move at a snail pace.))

Alright, now that I cringed with the memory of Tsipras speaking English, I’ll go though the recommendations for improving the Greek pronunciation.

1) Go to my resources for learning Greek (#learn greek) where I have many videos where you can hear the sounds individually or withing other words very clearly. Easy Greek on youtube has excellent videos about pronunciation!

2) Seek practice as much as possible. Some Greeks switch to English when they hear an English accent to make the conversation smoother for the other person. If Greek speakers insist on talking with you in English tell them that you would wish to speak in Greek. I've seen that people often mirror the accent of the native speaker when they speak to one, so this might work for you as well with hours of practice. If no Greek speakers are available to you now, you can find Greek Americans online – or go to their festivals – and start talking to them.

3) Listen to Greek podcasts, songs and shows. (In my blog you’ll find them at #greek youtuber #podcast #greek tv #greek movie #short film #greek music). You know when you hear a catchy foreign song and then it’s stuck in your head and you say all the words perfectly without even knowing what it means? Well, this helps with pronunciation!

4) If you had Spanish in school or have Spanish friends mimicking the Spanish accent might help you. (Our accents are extremely close! The Spanish are the best at Greek pronunciation, and vice versa!)

5) Find sounds in your native language that sound close to the sounds you want to say in Greek. In German lessons I had trouble with “ch” in certain words because I made it sound like χ and it was horrible. My Greek teacher told me to remember how χ sounds in χήνα (it sounds a bit flatter) and make that sound when I encountered “ch”. It worked actually!

To people who have English as their native language I often suggest they remember the sound of w for γ because, although not used the same in the word, at times they have the same intensity. Γ is pronounced more “to the front” of the mouth, so if you can bring that sound forward in your mouth you’ll be very close, if not accurate, to γ. (But don’t bring it too much forward, sometimes it can sound like a “y”, unless you are saying a word where γ sounds like “y”).

Greeks pronounce σ more closely to “sh” than to “s”, so you also might want to keep that in mind since σ often distinguishes the Greek accent in English for me :p

That’s all! If you have more questions or want to tell me anything else about your experience with learning Greek, feel free to send another ask or a DM!

[caustic-light]

Hi! I haven't ever heard of an amab transman before, and googling it didn't do much good. Would you mind explaining it a bit for me please?

So the tldr (hindsight fry here, I started rambling about my life story instead. sorry, it happens, it’s also unedited because I do not have the energy to read right now) is that I am a man and I’m amab, but I don’t identify with the maleness that society pushed onto me because the doctors took a brief glance at my penis after I was born and that now is still on my passport for some reason. I am not a kind of man who is one of two options on a form and I reject the notions of manhood that come with the way society assigns gender.

[anyway, gonna insert an actual tldr right here: The manhood I experience is not the same binary manhood that society assigned to me. My transition is from one gender called man to anthother that shares the name, but is different because I built it for myself. I also describe it as trans manhood, because what made me figure it out was relating to trans men and feeling a kind of recognition and yearning for the process of transitioning to create a personal manhood]

I am however a man despite rejecting all of that. I am a man because manhood is something I am reclaiming and turning into something positive and hand tailored to myself and my own identity. I tried for a long time to move away, to identify as agender, to identify as some nebulous and vague shade of nb. It felt incredibly freeing, but it also felt like I was ripping a part out of me. Like I could only get out of the chains by sawing off the chained limbs.

So eventually I started identifying as a non binary man and it suddenly felt very good, because I could have both the freedom and the substance. I could connect to a form of manhood, because understanding that you can be both at the same time, that there can be versions of binary genders that are removed from that binary, that are free to exist in the nonbinary field, for me made me realize that my manhood was not the same gender as the one I was assigned. They just share the same name.

I didn’t id as trans right away, though. I felt was just neither cis, nor trans, because my imposter syndrome was too strong and I felt like being trans would not fit because I thought I was only moving away from something, not towards (which was my own rationalization for said imposter syndrome) But then I was at pride and I saw a group of teenagers all wrapped in trans flags and I felt the exact same way I felt as a 14y/o finding queer news/lifestyle sites for the first time, before figuring out I wasn’t straight. (It was queer.de for any german speakers in my audience who might be curious :p) So that was a thing. Then the Movie Luca came out and hit me over the head with a million emotional gut punches, that all fucked me up beyond recognition because of how much they resonated with my own life in a lot of different ways (and tearing open wounds and trauma I didn’t even know I really had in that way) and I started projecting hard onto Alberto, who’m I instantly latched onto as a trans boy. Side note, this is something I do a lot. I latch onto a character who resonates with me and then discover my own identity by making experimenting with them from a safe distance. Anyway, all of that was pretty fucking confusing because I knew what the feelings meant, but I was already a man. I had been a man my entire life. Why the fuck did I suddenly feel obsessed with this yearning for seeing myself as a trans man? Anyway, the answer was that I connected to trans manhood because it represented the relationship I wanted to have with my own. Manhood as something I had to build for myself, that I had to figure out, that wasn’t given to me. Something where I have the power to figure it out and I can make it whatever I want. And so I started hesitantly identifying as trans and it just felt incredibly good and fitting and like it added a very important puzzle piece to something that felt good before, but always unsatisfying.

Hope you enjoyed my unsolicited info dump about my entire life story.

[might-as-well-happen]

Ik heb in 2022 10.462 keer iets geplaatst

Dat zijn 3.444 berichten meer dan 2021!

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Ik heb 4.651 van mijn berichten getagd in 2022

#tma - 1.201 berichten

#art - 580 berichten

#dracula daily - 444 berichten

#heartstopper - 427 berichten

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#en veel quotes van iris en michiel gaan op vakantie ‘9 is mijn geluksgetal’ ‘oui! wie? jullie natuurlijk!’ ‘dit is de piepschommel hoor maar

Mijn populairste berichten in 2022:

#5

I am being so normal while watching Heartstopper, you don’t understand how absolutely normal I can be, I am not crying over these gay people and their lives, I am so normal

10 notities - Geplaatst 22 april 2022

#4

Screaming, crying, throwing up, what the fuck is that?? What does it mean??

“Oh… Hello” what does it mean????

“Are you still listening?” Uuhhhh yeahhh of course

I’m just,,, AAHHHH

18 notities - Geplaatst 13 oktober 2022

#3

I want to talk about how language and dialect is written in Stoker’s Dracula. I know some people have already written about this, with much more insight that I could have, but as someone who’s not a native speaker, and specifically Dutch, I want to focus more on Van Helsing’s language. (Disclaimer: I don’t know a lot of German, so my arguments about German may be wrong - feel free to correct me if so!)

You see, he is described as a Dutch man, and it is clear in his sentence structure and tense usage, that he’s not a native English speaker - or specifically British. But, the sentence structure and verb tenses he uses are not reminiscent of the Dutch language structure or verb tense usage either. It’s not even reminiscent of German (which is the language that Van Helsing speaks - not Dutch and yes I’m still mad about it. Dutch and German are not the same, y’all!)

So, I wonder then what have Stoker the idea to make Van Helsing Dutch German, but have him use this different, I want to say “generic” Non-English sentence structure.

In the passage from September 22nd, Van Helsing doesn’t the verbs, and he uses ‘he’ in places where it does not make sense to do so. In Dutch you would have conjugated the verbs, so why would Van Helsing with 7 PHD’s not know to conjugate the verbs in English - even after a breakdown? Why would Van Helsing say “the laugh he come just the same” when it would’ve been more logical (for a Dutch or German speaking person) to have said “the laughing comes still/even so/anyway” since in Dutch one would probably say “het lachen komt toch/alsnog”. Also, the rest of the sentence (which I hadn’t marked in blue) does not make sense if Stoker wanted to show that Van Helsing was not an incredible English speaker, because “But no more think that I am all sorry when I cry” doesn’t feel Dutch either - it would’ve been more like “But think not (any)more that I am all sorry if I cry” as to be translated from the Dutch “maar denk niet meer dat ik zielig ben als ik huil”. As to regards of the “laugh he come” I don’t even know. It’s not Dutch at all, and I could see it being German, with the Der (masculine the) and er meaning him - it still doesn’t make sense, since Der is not er, and Der would not have been used in that spot in the sentence.

[image ID: a passage from September 22nd with some parts highlighted in a light blue (which in this ID will be bolded) reading:

"Ah, you don't comprehend, friend John. Do not think that I am not sad, though I laugh. See, I have cried even when the laugh did choke me. But no more think that I am all sorry when I cry, for the laugh he come just the same. Keep it always with you that laughter who knock at your door and say, 'May I come in?' is not the true laughter. No! he is a king, and he come when and how he like. He ask no person; he choose no time of suitability. He say, 'I am here.' Behold, in example I grieve my heart out for that so sweet young girl; I give my blood for her, though I am old and worn; I give my time, my skill, my sleep; I let my other sufferers want that so she may have all. And yet I can laugh at her very grave—laugh when the clay from the spade of the sexton drop upon her coffin and say 'Thud! thud!' to my heart, till it send back the blood from my cheek. My heart bleed for that poor boy—that dear boy, so of the age of mine own boy had I been so blessed that he live, and with his hair and eyes the same. There, you know now why I love him so. And yet when he say things that touch my husband-heart to the quick, and make my father-heart yearn to him as to no other man—not even to you, friend John, for we are more level in experiences than father and son—yet even at such moment King Laugh he come to me and /End ID]

Furthermore, on September 25th there are some peculiar things to note in Van Helsing’s language. Throughout the book (or emails haha) he uses articles consistently (as far as I noticed), but here he suddenly doesn’t when he says “I came to see that was friend” which reads weird to me, since the Dutch use articles and especially Germans use articles. It would have been more logical to have said “I came to see she who was the friend” since that is how you would’ve said it in both Dutch and German. Furthermore, when later on he says “In great perplexity then I come to you, and ask you out of your so much kindness…” it doesn’t make sense either - in Dutch at least. If one had gone for complete Dutch sentence structure it would have been “come I then to you” and if one had gone for something that was a bit more like English it would be “I then come to you”. As with the “out of your so much kindness”, I don’t even know what Stoker was doing here, since it should have been “ask you from/of the good/kindness of your heart” since that’s also a saying in Dutch. I don’t know if it makes sense in German tho, but Dutch people wouldn’t have said it that way.

Het volledige bericht bekijken

20 notities - Geplaatst 26 september 2022

#2

In only 40 min I’m going to be seeing wtnv live and I’m so excited!!!

32 notities - Geplaatst 22 september 2022

Mijn #1-bericht van 2022

The fact that now when you’re talking about Jonny Sims in prominent audio formats/podcasts, you need to specify Jonny D’Ville (mechanisms), Johnathan (Jon/Jarchivist/the Archivist) Sims (the magnus archives), and John (Jack) Seward (re: Dracula) is so funny to me

377 notities - Geplaatst 2 oktober 2022

Bekijk je jaaroverzicht van 2022 →

[chibinekochan]

Obey me! Exchange student with communication issues

hello ♡ hope you're well! any headcanons for my boys lucifer + mammon with an MC that is fluent in a foreign language? (i.e. an exchange student that probably is difficult to understand/has a hard time communicating)? i wonder how they'd react. tysmmm ♡Hi! I

*Sorry I couldn't find the request in my ask box so here we go.*

I am a German player who is somehow fluent in English, due to school and later the internet. I somehow relate lol. I'm low-key imagining them trying to speak German.

Lucifer 

He would make an effort to learn your language. 

Lucifer wants to make sure that you understand what is happening and will then put effort into you learning the official language of the devildom. 

He will become your personal teacher. 

Lucifer honestly tries his best so you don't feel lost. 

Will absolutely swear in your language, since nobody else will understand him. 

To make you more comfortable he will give his brothers at least some basic understanding of your language. 

He is still the only one who is fluent enough to speak with you. 

You have a few secret conversations thanks to that. 

Lucifer doesn't care so much about the language barrier since languages can be learned. 

If you need help he will be there to teach you and support you. 

Mammon

He is confused at first. 

Like why did Lucifer order him to take of you and you can't even understand him at all?

It's a bit frustrating. 

He uses his phone to translate between you two. 

You can understand a few basics but it's hard for you. 

You feel bad to be a burden to Mammon but when he sees that you struggle he supports you as much as he can. 

He takes the course to learn the demon language with you. 

Not like he needs to but you probably feel lonely without him. 

He is very proud when he teaches you a new word or he understands something that you mean. 

Mammon has the smugest grin when he says. "Oh yeah, I know that word. I'm so great hahaha."

You smile at him and secretly confess to him in your language before he understands you. 

Boy is he red once he figures out what you said.

Some bonus boys just because I can. 

Leviathan 

He is a bit confused. 

Like isn't that the language they used in that one super obscure anime that only he probably ever heard of? 

It probably is. 

You show him some things from your home that got subbed into demon language. 

Leviathan does the same. 

Somehow he learns pretty quickly once he is invested. 

He learns your language in no time. 

It's very impressive actually. 

He isn't a fluent speaker at all but he understands very well and helps you to translate whatever you need. 

Leviathan is embarrassed when you compliment him. 

He also adores your accent but he will not tell you. 

Levi is also very good at motivating you to learn more of the demon language. 

You often play together so you kind of ping pong between the two languages. 

Satan

He will tutor you for sure.

Satan is always curious about new things he can learn. 

There is a good chance that he can at least read your language. 

This only gives him an excuse to learn more. 

He gladly helps you out, of course he expects something back. 

Namely he wants you to teach him how to speak in your language. 

A few books from the human world also help. 

He is a good teacher and you quickly learn the basics, so you won't fall behind in your classes. 

Satan is very patient and only rarely seems frustrated at you, it helps that you make him tea sometimes to relax. 

You both soon have conversations in both languages pretty fluent. 

He will not be calm if anyone makes fun of you for not being able to understand something. 

Also uses the knowledge he has to talk behind Lucifer's back. 

Uses all the swear words he can get away with.

Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content

[p---ink]

Stark Contrasts Chapter Five

Author’s Note: This is the last installment, in my Tony Stark Fan-fiction. I loved writing this, but I am also happy to see it come to an end. Please, tell me what you think of this. I can only get better. It means the world to me when I get comments, so let me know how this makes you feel. Also, to my artists out there...I promise I don’t know jackshit about art, so please dont come for my throat. Everything is purely fictional. German speakers, I used google translate, please tell me if anything is off. I love you guys! Thanks for reading!

Summary: Y/N tries to adjust to her life away from Tony. 

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut. In that order. 

Song: I had the song I saw you in a dream by the Japanese House, in mind while writing this. 

Word Count: 11.2k

Parts: one | two | three | four | five 

Chapter Title: The Ends of the Universe

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine. 

Berlin, Germany. Pepper Potts sent you to Berlin. Fucking. Germany. While Berlin was breathtakingly beautiful, and to your surprise very diverse, you knew nothing about it. Nothing about the way of life there. Nothing about the people. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. Scared, would still not do your emotions justice. You were in a place you had made no preparations for, as well as no thoughts of ever visiting. But you guessed that was the point. 

Tony would never look for you here. 

Six months. That’s how long you would be here. Pepper had taken care of everything. The rest of the semester and classes that you were enrolled in before you left, were now moved online. It was that or completing them the next semester. Usually, your university required students complete all prerequisite courses before they took on any internships within their respected fields. So how Ms. Potts got your Dean to agree to such an outlandish change of pace for one of her students, you would never know. What she achieved was unprecedented. That was when you learned quickly to never underestimate her. 

Six months. That’s how long you would be away from Tony. Well actually, the idea, as Pepper calls it, is that you two will have moved on from each other by the end of it all. You weren’t even supposed to contact him when your time was up here. In fact, as long as you were in Germany, you were not to contact anyone you knew. 

Pepper had assured your family and friends of your well-being ahead of time. No they could not know of your location, nor contact you, but they were ensured that you were safe. It took some heavy convincing on her part to get your family to agree, but ultimately they did. In their eyes, they were supporting what was best for you. 

Nao, on the other hand, was not keen on just letting you leave the country. Though your friendship had less than a few days to develop, she became very protective over you. She felt that your leaving was downright bullshit as well as unfair. “Why should Edward fucking Stark, get his happy ending?” She spat. She was also not as willing to trust Pepper as you were. But because you had already made your decision to leave, you entrusted her with the secret of your hidden twitter account. No one, save yourself, knew about it. You agreed that you would regularly tweet from it, as your way of letting her know you were okay. That was the only reason, she didn’t blow the whistle to Tony right away.

Unlike Nao, you had faith in Pepper. You two weren’t the closest, but you had an unspoken respect and trust for one another. Pepper, despite every reason you gave her, did not behave in the way that any other woman in her shoes would have. You had broken her son’s heart by sleeping with his dad, her now ex-husband. Yet here she was, going through all of these hoops for you, just to make sure you didn’t ruin yourself. Of course you trusted her. 

There was one thing she was not truthful to you about however. When she told you the internship was all-expense paid, what she really meant was that she was covering all of it. Your school fees, apartment, food, and any and all luxury items, Pepper would be dishing out the money to take care of it all. While you felt you had no control over everything else, you drew the line there. Though you sort of resented her for her speediness to remove you from States, you refused to let her pay for your mistakes. She had already done so much. 

Your entire time living with Tony, he never let you pay for anything. This of course meant, you had money saved up from your previous employments. Enough to live comfortably until you could find a job. While Pepper was more understanding than her ex, she still insisted on covering your school fees as well as the first two months on your apartment so that you could focus on school before money became an issue. She even set you up with some extra spending money to get started. “To have a job, on top of an internship, as well as a full course-load, is too much for any student to bear.” She told you. “I will not set you up for failure, just to prove your smug ass Dean right.” 

Once you were settled in, and she felt confident enough to depart, Pepper left you and Germany, wishing you the best of luck. She was in a hurry to get back home before Tony could catch a whiff of where you were, and where she had been. 

So there you were. In Berlin. All alone, far from home, with no one but yourself to console. That was when the waterworks began. Between Nao’s place and the plane ride here, you didn’t have time to process your emotions. Your life, though not the most morally ideal, went to absolute shit in less than seventy-two hours. You didn’t care who was looking from the outside in calling you ungrateful. You got to experience the world, and your experiences with Tony alone should have satisfied you. 

Still, you didn’t ask for any of this. He was all you wanted. You would give up all the luxury in the world, if it meant just being with him. But alas, you did not have that choice, so you decided to cry. 

And cried you did. Your first three nights consisted of tears, and headaches. You barely even ate. It didn’t help that Tony’s face was plastered every where. He was famous, so what did you expect? “How the fuck am I supposed to get over him, when I can’t even escape him?” In fairness, you also didn’t make it easy on yourself. A t-shirt of his that you stole, covered your pillowcase. You were scared of the day it’s scent would leave. The new phone that Pepper purchased for you, had his wallpaper on the cover. Of course you later willed yourself to change it, but it took time. You even bought books that he begged you to read for months, just because they reminded you of him. Your entire time in Germany, you were a woman of your word to Nao. You tweeted about him constantly your first three nights, just  to feel like your old self again. It was small things that made you feel closer. But small things turned into big ones. You were practically torturing yourself. 

Where nights ended in crying, mornings began with half-hearted reassurements. “This is what’s good for me.” You would chant, to yourself in the mirror. “This is what’s good for Tony.” It was now the weekend, and come Monday you would be starting your internship. “The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can go home.”

  ººººº

Starting your art internship sounded dreadful to you now. Before, you were more than excited as you planned it with Tony. Your eyes were starry when you fawned over how rich the art and culture was in France. Of course you would be excited, given that Tony had taken you to France on numerous occasions, as well as taught you some of the language. You were even comfortable enough to navigate the streets of Paris alone. That was more than you could say about Germany. 

When Monday came, and you left your apartment, you got lost almost immediately. Luckily to you, in Berlin more people spoke English than you thought. So your day was off to a bad start but you could still turn it around. That was your train of thought before it began to pour down raining. The cute, but simple little outfit that you had put together was now drenched. Not to mention your hair; tight coils retreated to your scalp, and makeup ran down your face. You had tried. You really did. You wanted the outside of your person, to deflect what you were feeling on the inside. Too bad the universe had other plans. 

You were still determined to complete your first day. So you continued on to the location that a kind stranger gave you. 

It sounded right, because soon you were standing in front of the soon-to-be art gallery that you would be interning at for the next 6 months. You were to shadow an art-curator, with the hopes of teaching it one day. Sure becoming an art professor wasn’t very fulfilling financially, but you loved art so you didn’t care. 

You walked into the magnificent glass structure, with high ceilings and tall windows. Your strides made wet squelching sound, as you stepped from the outside concrete pavement onto the wooden linoleum.

Immediately, a man who seemed to be directing others about the room, turned his attention to you. He almost dropped the clear clipboard he was holding, upon seeing the soaking wet brown girl before him. All he could think of was the damage to the floors you had probably caused. 

“Wie kann ich Dir helfen?” He asked you with a grimace painting his features.

If your confidence wasn’t shot before, it was now at a zero as you realized how stupid you must of looked. “I’m sorry I don’t speak German.” You apologized.

The man huffed as he switched languages. “I said, how can I help you?” Now you genuinely felt like an entitled American, in someone else’s country forcing them to accommodate you by speaking your native tongue. 

“I’m Y/N, and I am here for the Schmidt Internship.” You said lowly. You watched him bring his attention back to the clipboard in hand, flipping harshly through the paper. 

“You’re late. On your first day at that. How could you come in here like this?” His words were harsh, but he was right. You were late, and even if you weren’t your appearance would have sent off red flags in his head. 

You had to blink back the water that was forming in your eyes. This was something that you had become an expert at. “I apologize, but I had trouble finding my way here.”

He scoffed “So not only are you coming up with excuses already, but you’re telling me you haven’t even prepared yourself. How are you supposed to retain the necessary knowledge for this job?”

“Again, I’m sorry, but I can assure you that this won’t happen again. ”

“You’re right. So go home.” 

Your brows jumped to meet each other. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You clearly don’t have what it takes. My clients will eat you up and spit you out within seconds.” He looked you up and down before adding, “And if they don’t, I will. So go home.” He turned his back to you as if you were nothing, and began redirecting men on where to put certain paintings. Not sparing you a second glance.

Something told you that he was used to making people cry. You almost did, until you realized that you had been crying for the past week, and now you were just angry. 

“You can place that Delegado by the window.” You heard him say to two men. You walked up to them to interrupt their conversation.

“Actually place it as far away from the light as possible.” You ordered the men who were holding the piece.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The curator asked. 

You could feel his scowl on your face so instead of spinning to address him, you furthered your explanation. “The choice of medium Delgado used is not compatible with the sun. It will certainly drain its vibrancy. But anyone who attended secondary school art would know that.” You sneered, side-eyeing him. Your insult did not fall on deaf ears. His scowl turned into an almost pained expression. You ignored it, and moved on. 

You walked around the room, as the curator silently, but obviously followed you. “I assume you intend to place a light fixture over this.” You asked him, looking over your shoulder. “If not, this is the painting you should place next to the window. It will not thrive in the shadows. The artist intended for light to cast on certain areas to reveal hidden figures.” You took your phone out to flash its light against the frame to prove your theory, and almost immediately new elements appeared in the work. 

You could almost hear the change in features on the curator’s face. Still you continued your dance around the room, explaining to him pieces of art that worked well with others, and ones that did not. 

Going up to your next piece, you inspected it closely. “When did you purchase this” You asked him.

“A few days ago. Why?” He questioned, his tone was now different, almost inviting you to say more. He was now curious about your every word. 

“Bankole, the artist this is inspired by has not sold a painting in years.” You informed him.

“I bought it from a secondhand distributor. So what’s your point?” 

“You were scammed. The original piece only has seven hooded men. A reoccurring theme in Bankole’s art. This painting only has six.”

“Well maybe Bankole miscounted.” He suggested, chuckling. It was like he was amused, and it was vastly different from his earlier cold demeanor. 

“It also has too many etchings along the border.” You continued. “And the signature is misspelled.”

He stayed silent for a minute. He was awestruck. His assistant who had been standing near him, looked up everything you said to fact check you. She whispered a “she passed, sir” in his ear, when she could validate your arguments. And that’s when you realized it was a test. 

Upon realizing the whole thing was a set up, you relaxed your bewildered eyebrows, and looked down at your feet to smile a smile that screamed ‘I’ve been tricked’. 

The curator, as if scared to take his eyes off of you leaned his head to the side to ask his assistant, “Could you please get Ms.?”

“L/N” You sheepishly smiled, bringing your eyes back up to meet his. 

“Yes, could you please get Ms. L/N something to dry off with, Hanna?” He asked the girl, returning a smile back. 

“Right away sir.” Hanna spoke, scampering away to search the building’s custodial closet. 

He offered his hand to you, and broke the silence. “I’m Finn. Finn Schmidt.”

You took his hand, and shook it gently. “Wait Schmidt? Does that mean you’re—”

“Yes, my family owns this gallery.” He replied as a matter of fact. 

You mouthed an inaudible ‘oh’, as you were now embarrassed about your secondary school comment. Thankfully Hanna was back now with a towel to distract you from your growing shame. Changing the subject you asked, “So is it a German thing to be rude and test your future interns?”

He laughed, eyes lingering on your neck as you dried your hair. “Well its a Schmidt thing to test future interns. As for the rude part, I’m sorry. I was just a bit upset about something from earlier.” He confessed. “I promise I would have called you back later to apologize.”

“It’s fine. I did show up late and track your floors with rainwater.” You glanced outside, noticing the sky was now as clear as day. Just my fucking luck, you thought. But at least the new found light gave you a chance to properly examine Finn. The events from earlier, blinded you from realizing how handsome he was. 

He was much taller than you. At least more than half a foot. Chestnut brown locks, thrown up into a messy bun, graced the top of his head. He had honey brown eyes upon first glance, but when the sunlight hit them, they were a brilliant amber. He looked to be close in age to you, but still more experienced; so maybe late 20’s early 30’s you concluded. He was built. Not too muscular, but far from skinny. His beard was immaculate. In fact it looked as if he took better care of it, than he did his hair. Both made him look majestic. He had skin of olive, and it was dewy and radiant; you just knew his skin-care routine was more rigorous than yours. When he spoke, it was gruff. His accent was thick, but he spoke English like he lived in a native-english speaking country for years. He was definitely a man who prided himself in his looks as well as his knowledge. 

“So tell me, is it an American thing to ogle at complete strangers.” He smirked at you. You immediately thanked God for blessing you with darker skin, for you felt your blood pool to the apples of your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, embarrassed and suddenly intrigued by the ground.

“Don’t be. It’s definitely a Schmidt thing.” He informed you, raking his eyes down your figure. Is he flirting with me? You asked yourself. 

Now desperate for air, you took in a deep breath to overcome the fluster. “So, um. I’m sorry, just to make sure I’m not getting ahead of myself: your assistant said I passed?”

He cleared his throat, and began rapidly blinking away his daze before speaking. “Yes with flying colors.”

“Does this mean I still have the internship?”

“Yes. I’d be honored to have you. ”

You beamed a bright smile. “Great. Well I hope we enjoy working together.” You stretched your hand out again for him to shake. 

“As do I.” He said, grasping your outstretched limb, before bringing your hand to his lips. 

Oh boy. 

ººººº

It turns out, you two did enjoy working together. Finn, despite your first impression of him, was a major sweetheart, at least to you that is. You didn’t know if that reigned true in other aspects of his life, or if it was just because he wanted to sleep with you. Either way, you welcomed his charming nature.

He became your best friend whilst you were in Germany. He was proud of his country, and very eager to show you why. You were dragged from museum to museum soaking in beautiful art. Landmark to landmark, reveling in famous architecture. Restaurant to restaurant, engorging yourselves with famous German cuisines and desserts. He was elated to finally have someone to boast to about his culture. And you were happy to have someone take your mind off of Tony. Temporarily.

As months passed, you still found your mind drifting off as you wondered about him. You dreamed about him at least every other night. But you would still tell yourself,  He’s over me by now. He’s probably happy I’m gone. At least I didn’t ruin his life.

Finn could only do so much. You were close now, so you informed him of a man who had taken over your dreams. He didn’t know who your mystery man was, but he wanted to be him. He wanted to be the one who occupied your mind. He made it clear on numerous occasions too. Spouting to you German phrases that he taught you before hand, revealing his feelings. 

‘Ich steh’ auf dich’. I’m into you. ‘Ich bete dich an’, I adore you. The words were beautiful flowing from his lips. But you always feigned ignorance, acting like you forgot what they meant. He could scream his feelings to the sky in your mother tongue, and you would still say something along the lines of “Quit joking around.” Or “You’re so silly.”

You would be a liar if you said you hadn’t thought about Finn in that way. He was sexy, and more than willing to replace Tony. And Pepper, if she were there, as well as your friends and your better sense, would have begged for you to fuck him…but alas, you just couldn’t do it.

You two were currently planning the grand opening of his family’s second art gallery. It was tomorrow night, and it took all of five months, most of your internship to get the museum ready for the public. It would be a formal event, where renowned guests were invited to partake in a cultured but light-hearted social gathering. It was going to be grand, which meant Finn was bugging out. 

“Lydia, have Hanna approve the guest list for me. I need her to make sure, no strays show up.” He said to one of his staff members. He had a group of people following close beside him as he took long strides to his office. 

“Again?” She asked. 

“Yes! Again.” He shouted.

She rolled her eyes, before skittering off to find Hanna.

“Luka, have you checked with the caterers to make sure the hors d’oeuvres will arrive by 17:30?”

“Yes sir.” The boy squeaked. 

“Check again.” Finn ordered. 

“Right away sir.”

“Oliver—” Finn Started. 

“The wine has already arrived, sir.” Oliver interjected, feeling quite sure of himself. 

“So the Chambertin Grand Cru is here? Great!” Finn began smiling and relaxing a bit. 

Confusion took the place of certainty on Oliver’s face. “Actually sir, I thought you told me to get Richebourg Grand Cru.” 

“Fuck!” Finn yelled in his native tongue, about to tear a new hole in the smaller boy. That is before you stepped in. You were waiting for him by his door. 

“Your guests are coming in for the art Finn. Not the wine, nor the food.”

His expression softened when he heard your voice. “Our guests.” He corrected, smiling at you. “I feel you worked harder than me, so they are our guests.”

“Fine. Our guests do not care about the damn wine.” You smiled. 

He chuckled at your playful chide. “You know you keep me sane right? You’re my savior.” 

“I thought Jesus was your savior.”

“Well you’re a close second.” He smirked, as he let you enter the room before him. You both sat down in close seats, and ran down a list of things he needed to confirm for tomorrow nights events. 

As you two worked, he decided to start a separate conversation. “Have you decided on whether or not you’re coming yet.” His voice was hopeful.

You sighed, knowing you were about to shatter that hope. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I think I’ll pass.”

“Why?” He cried, abandoning his previous tasks. 

“I have nothing to wear.” You informed him. “Besides I’m a bit beat. I should relax before my exams come up.”

“But, it’s just one night. And anything you put on will be amazing. It’s the girl in the dress that makes it beautiful.” As he said the last part, he placed a hand on your knee and caressed it.

You stood to your feet to avoid his lingering touches as well as ignore the look of disappointment on his face. “I can’t just show up in any thing. There are way too many important people coming. I would have to make a good impression, and I’m just not up for it.” 

Finn abruptly raised now hovering over you and turning your body to face him. “What is this really about?”

“What do you mean?” You asked looking at him through an inquisitive lens. 

“We both worked so hard on this. This gallery is practically your baby, don’t you want to see other people enjoy it?” The pads of his thumbs massaged your shoulders. The act was innocent, but to you it burned to have another man touch you in the way that only Tony should. 

You shrugged your shoulders to make his arms fall and took a stroll around his desk, placing space between you. “Of course I want to see her success, Finn.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, slowly meeting you on the other side, unsure about his actions now. 

You knew what was stopping you. Finn had to practically beg you to go out with him on regular days, and you would eventually do it to rid your mind of Tony; but this was different. Attending this event reminded you of the ones you, Tony, and Edward would participate in. 

While you were Edward’s plus one on paper, it was really Tony who you would move through a room with. He would introduce you to some of his friends in high places. You two would have riveting conversations about the world and art. By the end of it all, you would ditch Edward (which wasn’t hard, because he was usually the one to ditch you guys) to sip expensive ass champagne until you passed out the next day in some hotel room you had no memory of entering. This event screamed reminders of your past life. And your past love.

“I don’t know.” You lied. But Finn knew you were lying. He also knew what, or rather who, was stopping you.

He sighed, and gazed at you before speaking again. “Is this about your ex?”

You were curious as to why he asked about Tony when the conversation had nothing to do with him. “Why do you ask me that?”

“Because it always seems to be.” He came to stand directly before you, now more sure of himself. 

You could admit your tone of voice changed as you said your next line. “Well it’s not.”

“When are you gonna get over him?” Finn asked, ignoring your words as well as ignoring the defensive tone they were laced in. 

“I am over him.” He made you feel small, so you straightened your posture to appear more intimidating, a sharp scowl now decorating your face. 

“No you’re not. You’re still depressed about him.” He sounded a bit annoyed now. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m depressed…” You cooed, trailing off a bit with your thoughts. Am I depressed? And if I am, do I really wear it for the world to see?

Worry etched itself into your expression, which made Finn say, “You’re too young for this. And you’re too beautiful. You shouldn’t be worried about a guy who isn’t even here.” Finn stated. You thought that what he was saying wasn’t fair, because he didn’t even know the full story. “I can help you get over him.”

He made you blink rapidly at his words. “Woah Finn,” Finn continued his case. 

“Just let me take your mind off of him. I promise i’ll be worth it.” he was always forward, but never this forward. 

“Finn stop.” He was now closer to you, cornering you between himself and his wall. His office felt much smaller now. 

“I like you Y/N, and not just as a friend.” He was now just a breath away, so you threw your arms in between the two of you, only for him to lightly grip your wrists. 

“Finn—” You were cut off by his lips, as they stole a soft kiss from yours. You immediately broke the connection by looking down, brushing the area he just touched with your fingertips. Finn looked at you expectantly, face flushing as he realized what he just did. He dropped his hands from their positions on your wrists and stepped back.

“Y/N, I-I’m so, sorr—”

“I’m late for my other job now. I’ll see you Monday.” You hurried out, as you circled around him to leave the room before he could say another word. 

ººººº

Your entire shift at your neighborhood cafe, felt like a blur.  You chose to work at a cafe for similar reasons to the ones at home: the rustle and bustle of the world made you feel calm, and like your problems were small. But now all you could think about was Finn.

He was right, you were still hung up on Tony. In your defense, five months didn’t seem like enough time for you to move on from a relationship that shifted your entire being. But they did say, to get over one man, you should get under another one. And Finn, was a man that you would have been attracted to under normal circumstances. 

He was handsome. Articulate. Cultured. Kind. He was the type of man, who could move a room just by walking in it. But he wasn’t Tony. That fact alone was how you knew you were beat. If you could pass up an amazing man, for one you couldn’t even have, then you were crazy. 

He smelled of ginger, and he tasted like cinnamon for those fleeting moments that he held you. You thought to yourself that you could do worse. You weren’t supposed to be with Tony anyway, so what was the harm in being with a man who was begging for you to use him?

The harm was, that you weren’t that kind of a girl. And you didn’t wanna hurt him. 

I am making this harder than it needs to be. You thought to yourself, as you walked into your apartment building. Your decision to go to the gallery’s opening became a hell of a lot easier, when your doorman greeted you with a package. You hesitantly thanked him and took the elegant box, before walking up to your flat. 

Setting it down on your counter to rid it of its satin pink bow, you freed the top cover and unraveled the tissue paper. Underneath all of the wrapping was a sparkly rose gold material. You pulled it out to reveal a ball gown, that looked as if it was made specifically with a princess in mind. The puffy skirt of the gown had a large slit in it and it was made of a sheer, almost see-through fabric. Glitter ran throughout the entire dress, but where it was most prominent was the bodice. The straps were off the shoulder, and they connected to a deep plunge a few inches below the neckline. It was beautiful.

Your first thought was to anger. The dress looked like it cost him a fortune.  You felt obligated to thank him, but you were also mad that he spent money on you as a form of apology. You hated when people just gave you things. It instantly made you feel like a burden.

But then your second thought was one of guilt. Leaving him so quickly, must of made him feel terrible, and that fact helped you swallow your anger. He really liked you, and you could at least show up to the gallery to support him. After all, you were still friends. 

You just silently prayed you wouldn’t regret going. 

      ººººº

Cool air nipped at your bear arms and chest as you made your way through the night. The wind caused cold tears to fall from your eyes, and your fingers felt like icicles. You knew it would be cold tonight as winter transitioned into spring, but you didn’t anticipate it this much. You didn’t have a proper shawl to sit across your shoulders that matched your dress, so you sucked it up and power-walked to the gallery.  It definitely felt nice to step into the building’s warm and inviting embrace.You instantly felt your cheeks warm up as you stood in the middle of the entryway.

The event was in full swing by the time you arrived. You were instantly surrounded by laughter, and chatter, as rich people debated amongst themselves about the intent of certain pieces of art. Beautiful melodies filled the air, as classical music played softly in the background. The ambience was warm despite the cold night air peering through the high glass ceilings. You thought it was nice, how even though the building was so well lit, you could still make out the faint glow of stars above you. 

Being an observant person who could easily meld into the background, you thought the sight before you was beautiful, and you immediately felt regret grow smaller in the pit of your stomach. 

You searched the crowd, trying to seek out Finn and thank him for urging you to come, as well as for the dress. You found him at the top of a balcony, chatting up one of his guests. You swallowed your uneasiness as you made it up in your mind to confront his and your feelings. Maybe I could give him a try because he really is a nice guy. That was your train of thought as you made your way up to him. I could learn to love him. You thought. If it doesn’t work out, I still have home in just a month. 

As you got closer, and closer to him, you thought of Tony, and immediately froze in your tracks. You felt guilty for even thinking about someone else before you were over him. You were disappointed in yourself, for your readiness to use one man, in order to get over another one.

You were about to turn around and forget about the entire event, before Finn caught your gaze. He stopped his chat with the man in front of him and excused himself to walk over to you. 

You looked like a gapping fish out of water as he approached you. Finn was always so well put together. Seeing him in a tux, only made him appear more intimidating. He somehow made you, with your dress, naturally done makeup, and beautifully pinned up hair, feel small. Little did you know, he felt smaller.  

“Y/N” He started, almost at a loss for words. “You look beautiful.”

To save face you forced yourself to speak, opting for the playful banter he had come to love. “Why are you acting so surprised?”  You sheepishly smirked. 

“Well I didn’t think you were coming.” He beamed. He was relieved to know you weren’t still mad at him.

“I couldn’t just waste this.” You said referring to your dress, grabbing a fistful in each hand to lift it and emphasize your point. 

Finn bought his eyes over you, basking in your beauty. “You look darling in that. But I thought you said you didn’t have anything to wear.”

You furrowed your brows at his words, smile faltering. “I didn’t, until you—”

“Finn! Over here darling, I want you to meet someone.” His mother called to him in english, gesturing to a well-dressed attractive woman. 

“Okay.” He replied to her before bringing his attention back to you. “Stay right here. Don’t move I mean it.” He floated off, abandoning you and your confusion.

Why was he acting so oblivious? 

You felt moments pass as Finn worked himself around the room. You watched him as he drifted from person to person, seemingly forgetting about you. He was in his element, and you were happy to see him happy. 

Leaving him to do his own thing, you walked down the stairs deciding to occupy yourself by people watching. That was when your emotions began to overwhelm you again. You leaned against a wall, newfound glass of wine in hand, trying to drown out the noise around you. Everything seemed to remind you of Tony Stark. The rich men in their suits. The stimulating discussions. Even the drink between your fingers, reminded you of him. Now too encapsulated with your thoughts once again, you turned to the wall behind you, immersing yourself into the art. The sad girl in the painting, derided you, as you met her eyes. She was pretty, and like you she felt alone. At least we can be lonely together you thought, scoffing at the idea. 

“Why that frown, everyone in here knows you’re prettier than her.” Your heart sank, as you turned to the side meeting the face of the familiar voice. 

“Tony?” You exhaled, blinking rapidly as if your eyes were playing tricks on you.

“In the flesh.” He smirked down at you. You threw yourself into his open arms, as he wrapped himself around you. You felt him kiss the top of your head, then your temple, as you inhaled his scent; it had been such a long time since you had even done that. Your drink spilled on the floor behind you, and the look of shock you received from a nearby stranger made you feel deranged. It didn’t matter, how crazy you looked, Tony was here and that was all you could care about. 

Pulling back from his embrace, you felt your words form at the back of your throat unable to bring them out. “What are you doing here?” You managed to ask. 

“You know I could ask you the same. Berlin? Was all that French I taught you, for nothing?” He joked, holding you in place. 

You were becoming blurry-eyed. You terribly missed his wittiness. “How did you find me?” Though you were happy, you couldn’t help the tears that streamed down your face. 

Tony wiped them away with the pads of his thumb, “First. Dance with me.” He reached a hand between the two of you, willing you to take it. 

“This isn’t that kind of an event Tony.” You chuckled.

“Who cares? I need to hold you.” His words made you tear up again. You soon became a sobbing mess, and those around you shot him dirty looks for making you cry. 

“Princess.” Tony cooed, sending apologetic nods to random people as he tried to comfort you. “You’re making a scene.” 

You ignored him, and kept silently whimpering, gradually growing a bit louder, as your face contorted further into a frown. “You’ll ruin your makeup.” 

Still crying you began dry-heaving as you chocked between sobs. “Alles ist gut.” Tony assured strangers, informing them that all was well. 

“You know German?” You squeaked between sobs.

“When I found out you were in Germany, I learned a bit on the plane ride here.” He grabbed a napkin from a passing by waiter, as he told you this. 

“So you learned German for me?” You sobbed louder, causing more people to look over.

“Y/N, baby please stop crying.” Tony pleaded. “Please stop."

You sniffled and began wiping your eyes, smearing your mascara in the process. He used his napkin to wipe away the excess mess on your face. “Now can we please try this again?” He asked holding his hand out. You took it, and he lead you to the center of the room. 

Now the attention was as a result of the spectacle in front of them. First a girl practically pours her expensive wine on the ground. Then starts crying. And now she and her beaux are dancing in the middle of the gallery. How unhinged you must of looked in the eyes of a stranger. 

Tony couldn’t be more in love with you. He held you close, one hand clasped with yours, the other resting on your lower back as he gazed into your eyes, mesmerized by your existence. You two swayed back and forth, ignoring the judgmental stares and whispers. Eventually others gained the courage to join in, inspired by the silly Americans of the room. 

He broke the comfortable silence first. “I see you like the dress. You make it look beautiful.”

“You bought this for me?” You exclaimed smiling. It made sense now, how else would the measurements be so perfect?

“Of course I did. Who else would?” He asked with a single raised brow, his signature “you better tell me, or you’re in trouble” expression.

“Mmh, hmm, Mmh.” You mumbled shrugging your shoulders upwards. Of course that was a lie, but you would tell him later. 

He decided to address your lie later as well. He changed the subject for now. “So why Berlin? Why not London, or Italy? Italy was you second choice, you loved Italy!”  

You giggled at the amount of times he said Italy. He bathed in the sound. “Germany was the first place Pepper could arrange on such short notice. Besides, we thought you would never think of looking here.”

“I would search the ends of the universe for you.” He said, face and tone all of a sudden serious. You inspected him for a minute, heat rising to your cheeks, before you both cracked a smile. 

“You’re so fucking cheesy.” You laughed. 

“I thought you loved it when I act cheesy.” He expressed, mocking fake hurt. 

You smiled and kissed his chin, ignoring his dramatics, opting to be enveloped by the silence. You were calmed as he rocked you in his arms, pulling you as close as he could. His large warm hand on your exposed lower back felt like home. You two fit together like puzzle pieces, and you were happier now than you were the first time you kissed. Now you weren’t in secret. You were out in the open, as you experienced a new first in your relationship. 

You broke the silence this time, as you laid your head on his chest. “So how did you find me?”

“Tonysbitch99 Y/N? Come on, I’m a fucking genius, and I’m not exaggerating.  Your last tweet led me here”

Your head shot up so you could question him. “Wait. So you went out on a fucking whim?”

He laughed at your outburst. "Well actually a blue-haired girl encouraged me to check your twitter account. I found your hidden one on your old phone. That led me to your apartment.”

“Nao.” You said in a low menacing tone. You had some words for her as soon as you got back home. But when you thought of home, your mind wandered back to the obstacles in your way. Being so happy to see him, you forgot about Edward. “Tony” You sighed. “You can’t be here. Edward will find out. And you could lose everything you worked for. Your dreams have to mean something to you.”

“They do. You’re one of them Y/N.” He always had a way with words, and just as you were about to protest he cut you off. “I won’t go into details about it, but everything is fine. You can even contact both Edward and Pepper if you don’t believe me.” 

You believed him. The fact that he involved Pepper’s name encouraged you to. “Enough  about me though. You seem to have been keeping yourself busy.” He whispered against the shell of your ear.

“What do you mean?” You asked, flustered by his action. He suddenly, but slowly dipped you so that you could focus on where his line of sight was. Your eyes met Finn, who was busying himself with guests, as well as stealing glances at the two of you. As you focused on him, Tony peppered kisses along the heart of your exposed bosom. The gesture forced you to shoot up out of embarrassment. You knew he was marking his territory, but you immediately scolded him. 

“Who is he?” He asked you, ignoring your tiny hits and reprimands. Once you calmed down, you told him about Finn.  “He hasn’t taken his eyes off of us, or should I say you, since my being here.”

You averted your gaze from Tony, and he immediately knew you were hiding something from him. He pestered you, until you told him about Finn’s crush, as well as the shared kiss. By the end of it all, he was sending death glares his way.

“You should introduce us.” Tony suggested, gravitating towards Finn, before you held him taught. 

“Calm yourself.”

“What did you say his name was again? Finn?” He asked, but he already knew the answer to his own question. “Finn. Finn. Finn.” He repeats, as if the name felt like a bad aftertaste on his tongue. “You know what? I like it. No, I really do, it fits him, because he looks like a fucking fish.” He spat.

You grinned and asked, “You’re not jealous are you Tony?”

“And what would I have to be jealous of? Did you not hear me say fish?” He questioned. 

“He’s a sweetheart. Come on, let me introduce you.” You were about to take his hand to meet Finn, but were surprised to see that he was already making his way over to the two of you. 

“Y/N, who might this be?” Finn asked reaching out to shake his hand. He knew who Tony was, most people did, but this was Finn’s way of acting as if he himself was more important. 

“Tony Stark” Tony interjected, acknowledging the outreached hand, but blatantly refusing to shake it. 

  Finn dropped his hand, before speaking again, smile now twitching. “Nice to meet you Mr. Stark. I’m Finn Schmidt.”

“Well that’s rather unfortunate.” Tony mumbled, loud enough for the both of you to hear. 

“Tony!” You chided, slapping his arm. 

“What?!” Tony cried. “You heard him say his last name was Shit, right?”

“He said Schmidt.” He knew that. Tony ignored the glare on your face that demanded he apologize.

The sound of laughter rang in your ears, as you both snapped your necks towards it. Finn must of  thought he was funny. “Y/N, your grandfather is hilarious.” Finn said, now deadpanning at Tony. 

Tony looked down at his hands, then at your brown ones, then back up to question the handsome boy. “Do I look like her fuc—”

“You’re right Finn. My boyfriend is pretty funny.” You say, examining his face with a small smile. Your comment shocked both him and Tony. He was happy that you could finally call him that. 

“Now,” you continued. “I’m a bit tired from these past few weeks. I think I’m going to call it a night. Enjoy your evening Finn. I’ll see you Monday.” You smiled, as you tugged Tony away.

“Goodnight Fish Shit,” Tony smirked over his shoulder, as you dragged him towards the door.  

“It’s Finn Schmidt, you idiot.” You corrected, sending an apologetic nod back to your friend. 

“What did I say?”

ººººº

Pushing the door open to your apartment, you unstrapped your shoes to place them next to the door, urging Tony to do the same. You threw your keys in a dish, and turned to him to whisper your intentions to go and slip into something more comfortable. He stared at you with a small smile as his response, dark eyes searching yours, while his remained unreadable. The dim light from the kitchen, illuminated his face, making it look intimidatingly beautiful. Or was hauntingly the word?

You suddenly felt nervous, realizing that this was the first time in months since you had been alone together. Handing him back the coat he let you borrow for the walk here,  you cleared your throat, and averted your gaze before excusing yourself from the room. Tony relished in the fact that he had reverted you back to your first stage of innocence. 

Upon your exit, he took a slow stroll around the room. He was careful to take in all that he had missed. Curious of how much you had changed, and how much you stayed the same. 

Accents of your favorite color were spread throughout the room. You had an open kitchen, and the living room was right across from it. They were both tidied to perfection. You had sleek wooden floors, that looked like they had never been stepped on. Furniture, that looked like it had never been sat on. A stove, that looked like it had never been turned on. Your place was nice, but he could tell you were rarely home. 

The walk here, you told him of your job on top of your internship, and school.You didn’t complain about it. In fact, you appreciated the chaos, and constant busyness. But he hated that you worked like a dog just to make ends meet. There was now all this time he would have to make up for, by spoiling you. 

He bent over to examine the books on your shelves. Some were new. Some that he had suggested. But what he searched for were the ones you would spend your summers rereading, as if the words would leave the page; desperate to memorize every letter. 

He moved on, now curious about your smart TV. What new shows were you watching? Did you still love the ones he remembered to be your favorite, or did new ones take their place? 

He picked up the candle on your coffee table. The scent of honeysuckle assaulted his senses. It was much different from your usual vanilla. He sat it down to continue his journey to your kitchen. 

He raided your pantry, your cupboards, and your fridge to see if you had been taking care of yourself. The contents were scarce, and he had to remind himself to scold you later.

“Are you hungry?” You asked smiling, grasping the hallway’s entry frame. You were wearing an oversized ash gray shirt whose front was tucked into a pair of frilly pink shorts. Your previously pinned hair now fallen was framing your cheeks, as stray pieces were pushed behind your ears. You removed all of your ruined makeup, and the result left a sheen of dew on the surface of your skin. If he thought you looked surreal at the gallery, ethereal was the word he’d use now due to your natural glowing state. 

“Yes” He replied. But he was getting full off of your appearance alone. There was no need for useless human sustenance. The way you looked was enough. 

You came into full view, grabbing a glass from your cupboards to pour yourself some water. “Well I’m afraid you’re not gonna find anything here.” You took a sip, offering him some. “But it’s not too late. There are still restaurants open.”

He reached for the glass in your hand, but instead of taking it, he placed his hand over yours to make you feed him sips of water. He eyed you over the rim of the glass before setting it down to say, “I’m full now.”

You swallowed hard, walking to sit on a stool on the other side of the island. Tony fell backwards directly in front of you, letting the cabinets behind him catch him. He drank you in with his eyes, as you felt yourself shrinking under his scrutiny.

“What?” You questioned, shy from his gaze. He said nothing, and just watched you. 

After a moment of playing the staring game, you tried to break the silence again. You looked down at the shirt you were wearing to spark a conversation. “I’m sorry I stole your shirt. I needed something to remind me of you. I hope you didn’t miss it too much.”

“The only thing that I missed, was you.” He said after minutes of deafening silence. Is he mad?

Looking down out of guilt you told him, “Well I’m here now. Tell me how you’ve been.”

He felt like your question was a loaded one. Not once did he think about himself while you were gone. He was constantly thinking of you. I’ve been lost. He wanted to say. I’ve been hopeless. I felt helpless not knowing where you were. Not knowing if you were okay. So many things were on the tip of his tongue, but instead he settled for “Let’s just say, I’ve missed you.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” You were genuinely curious about how his life was without you. But Tony looked like he didn’t want to explore the subject further. 

“That’s how I feel.” He declared, drifting slowly towards you. 

You decided to continue talking in order to fill the awkwardness. “Well its obviously how I feel too, but I wanna know how you’ve been holding up.” You ignored his sudden closeness. “Could you at least tell me how every one is? You mentioned Nao had blue hair? It was pink when we met.” Tony stood silent by your side as you asked your questions. “How’s Samuel? And Pepper?”As you rambled on and on, he traveled behind your stool, placing his hands on the chairs bars. His scent began to envelope you, and thats when your rambles became incoherent. If you weren’t already nervous before, you definitely were now. 

He picked up on it, like he usually does, and asked  “Am I making you uncomfortable?” in a hushed tone. You felt his breath fan the back of your neck, goosebumps formed on the little parts that were exposed. Your thighs clenched together, as you were suddenly turned on by how he made you feel both small and secure at the same time. 

He grabbed your chin, lifting your neck upwards and to the side, just before he placed a soft kiss on your lips, the first kiss since your reunion. It was so soft, you felt that he was afraid you might break; or as if you were only a part to a vivid dream. Deepening his touch, he let the fingers that were lifting your chin,  trail down the line of your neck. Soft fingertips brushed against your skin, until they collectively found a loose position around your throat. He let his thumb explore your jaw, while his tongue explored your mouth. Soft lips quickly turned into rough ones, as they fought to release every frustration and emotion he felt for the past five months.

When he pulled away, he had the nerve to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, as if he hadn’t just tongue-fucked your face a moment ago. “Sorry.” He apologized, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” He then walked back to his position by the counter, as if nothing happened, turned to you and asked “So what was your question again?” Innocence and genuine curiosity etched his features, like the lust, from a moment ago, never existed. 

Quickly overcoming your fit of fluster, you hesitantly stood to your feet. Tony never took his almond brown eyes off of you, as you seductively sauntered over to him. You had an idea. It was one you rarely thought of. One you never acted on; but if your time in Germany taught you something, it was to go for what you wanted. 

Now standing directly in front of him, doe eyes boring into his, he shut them as you placed your hands against his chest, leaning in for a kiss. Much like his, it was soft. A feather like touch against his mouth. You barely pulled back to whisper, “follow me” against his lips. His eyes fluttered open just in time to see you retreating down the hall. 

It was now his turn to become flustered, as he felt himself growing hot. He gave himself a moment to cool down, before taking his time walking down the hallway. As he poked his head in every room, just before he came to the last one, he found you sitting comfortably on your bed, stripped down to nothing but your bra and panties. Your elbows were propped up holding your weight, and your leg was crossed against your other as you patiently waited for him to enter the room. Your head was tilted as a seductive smile played on your features. 

Tony returned the expression, and he was about to dive into you, until you raised your hand to halt his actions. “Take off your shirt.” You ordered.

“Excuse me?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in amusement. 

“You heard me.” You dared. Though your tone was soft, he knew you meant business. He searched your eyes for a moment, not finding his usual hint of submissiveness. So he decided to humor you. He leisurely unbuttoned his cuffs, glancing up at you every now and then. Then he took his time loosening his bowtie, dragging it off of his collar. He went painfully slow as he unbuttoned his bib, leering in your direction as he did so. Making you wait is what would usually break your spirit, and it was his favorite game. But you had learned patience while in Germany, so tonight was your night. You uncrossed your legs and raised to your feet, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to roughly pull him into a kiss. This one was more feverish than the one shared in your kitchen, and it caught him by surprise since he was usually the one to take control. 

You switched your standing positions with him so that you were now the one facing the bed. As you deepened your kiss, he got pushed further back, until his knees collided with the mattress. You stood between his legs surveying his cherry swollen lips, before you reconnected your mouthes.

You laced your fingers in his hair, breaking your kiss, to harshly tug his head upwards. The guttural groan that escaped his throat, left an ache between your legs, while liquid pooled to the center of your panties. 

With the newly exposed skin of his neck, you stuck your tongue out to lick a slow stripe from his adam’s apple to his jaw, eliciting a string of curses from Tony. You then placed wet kisses down from there to his abs, kneeling to face his crotch. 

The prominent bulge, made your eyes widen with anticipation, and mouth salivate from thirst. You fell to your knees, licking your lips, fingers now fumbling with the buckle of his belt. Tony grasped your chin, lifting it to meet your eyes. “Y/N, I don’t want you to think you have to do this.”

You smiled at him, assuring him that you wanted to, kissing his fingers before going back to your previous tasks. He tensed up when you placed your hand on his thigh, just as the other worked to release his cock. The veiny appendage sprung free, and its size still intimidated you as you struggled to fit it in your tiny hands. Still, you were determined to make him feel good. 

You wrapped your hand around it, holding his drunken gaze, before stroking him up and down. You placed chaste kisses along the base, until you reached his crown. When you swirled your tongue around his head, Tony’s dick bucked in your hands, and his large palm shot up to tangle in your hair, urging you to suck. You swatted his hands away, and fixed him with a stare, silently telling him you’d stop if he didn’t let you have this. When confident that he learned his place, you wrapped your lips around his tip, lowering yourself further down his shaft, twisting the parts you couldn’t fit (which was still a lot.) He was a moaning mess, when his dick hit the back of your throat. You bobbed your head up and down his length, mewling when you made him groan. The vibrations from your moans, sent jolts of electricity up his spine, and he struggled to contain himself. 

Gagging against him, you shot back gasping for air, only a string of spit connecting you. After six more motions like that, Tony shot three thick ropes of cum down your throat. The sound he let out as he came, made the area between your thighs slick.

He usually spewed words of encouragement when you gave him head. “Just like that” or “Suck daddy’s cock” filled your ears as you worked him through his orgasm. But to see him come completely undone, unable to form a sentence, let alone control the situation, had you feeling more than satisfied. His head was thrown back surveying the ceiling before he bought his attention back to you. His face was a soft shade of pink, and sweat covered his forehead; it worked like glue, as pieces of disheveled hair stuck to it. “Who taught you how to do that?” He asked between breaths. 

“Finn.” You joked, but as soon as you said it, Tony grabbed your arm to yank you to your feet. He grabbed the nape of your neck to pull you closer to his face. 

“I know you’re just kidding sweetheart, but I don’t find that funny.” He rasped in a low tone. The grip he had on your  neck caused you to whimper, but you didn’t mind the sting. It only riled you up. 

You stepped back from his embrace, to undo your bra, just for him to yank you back in once it was off. He began kissing between your sternum, dangerously close to the mounds of your breasts. You chuckled at the feeling of his facial hair tickling your skin, but then your giggles turned into moans as his beard created delicious burns across your surface. He reached his hands down to your waist ridding you of your panties. Once you stepped out of them, you pushed him backwards on the bed, to crawl over him placing both thighs on each side of his. 

He bit his bottom lip at the sight of you, eyes burning with desire, and hands trailing from your thighs to your waist. You grabbed his dick, brushing it against your lips, before slowly guiding it to your entrance. As you sunk down on him, he sucked in air harshly, while you yourself let out a gasp of pain. 

“You still fit like a glove, baby.” He moaned out, glowered at you through hooded eyes. His hands tightened their grips around your waist to help you ease yourself onto him. 

A pained gasp erupted through your chest; the farther you sunk down on him, the further you stretched out. Pleasure began to burn in your loins when you met his end. You threw your head back and planted your palms against his chest,  rocking and grinding on his cock at a painfully slow pace. Your clit grazed his base as you did so, encouraging you to pick up your speed. His hands that were previously on your waist, crept up your front to fondle your breasts. You grabbed his wrists to help lift yourself up and down his shaft. 

The faster you bucked against him, the closer you came to meet your edge. He found his words of encouragement, when he heard your lusty pants of pleasure. “Such a pretty girl.” He praised. “Look at you go.” He whispered. He watched sweat form against your cupids bow, and your expression contort further into one of pleasure.

Your pace began to falter which is when he placed an arm around your back to sit the two of you up. Using the edge of the bed, he met your hips with his own, fucking into you at a new angle. His pace was faster, and more accurate than your own, which meant with each thrust he his your g-spot head on. His grunts and your pants echoed off of the walls as he sent you barreling towards your orgasm. You shut your eyes, letting the ecstasy hit, as you panted his name, over and over again. 

Letting the pleasure wash over you, you came to a complete stop, your moans sending vibrations through Tony’s chest. He didn’t stop though, his thrusts were relentless, as he tried his hardest to bury into you. “Keep going.” He ordered you. 

“I can’t daddy.” You whimpered, already fucked out, when you barely even started. 

“Yes you can.” He simply said, forcing you to sit up straight. You straddled his lap, met his eyes, and placed your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, trying to will yourself up and down, but your hips just wouldn’t let you. By this time, he stopped completely as well, to catch his breath. 

You laid your head in the crook of his neck, defeated. “I’m sorry.” You exhaled into his skin. 

He lifted your head to cup your chin. When his eyes met yours, he pecked your lips before saying, “It’s okay princess. You did so well…but now it’s daddy’s turn.”

With that, he picked you up and wrapped your legs around him to place you at the top of the bed. He got rid of the rest of his clothes before he crawled back into bed, sinking into you again. You both let out groans at the feeling of his fullness.

Tony threw nice and slow out the window, and immediately began drilling into you. Your moans turned into deafening screams as his hips bruised your pelvis. He pried your legs open, placing quick kisses along your neck as he did so, knowing it would drive you up the wall as well as comfort you. He bit and sucked harshly along your collar bone, sending your mind into a blissful haze. Your hands shot up to his back, clawing at the flesh. You left blood in your wake, as you raked your hands down the skin. He let out a growl at the feeling, thrusting harder into you as a result. 

Your second orgasm arrived quicker than your first, but the feeling was more intense. He left you writhing, and shaking on him, as ripples of pleasure coursed through your body. Giving you a minute to collect yourself he flipped you over, before saying, “I’m not done with you yet, princess.” 

A look of alarm spread on your features, when you looked behind you to see him lining himself up yet again. “Tony I don’t think I can cum again.” You whimpered. 

“Awe, I thought you were a big girl.” He teased, smirking as revenge for earlier. While he loved the way you look on top, it obviously hurt his dominating spirit when you took his control. He leaned down, grabbing the side of your face to better access your ear. You felt his hot breath fan the side of your cheek as he whispered, “You’re gonna take all of me, until I fill you up with my cum.” Then he let you go, causing you to fall forward. 

You were so turned on it didn’t make sense. You just had three orgasms rip through you, yet your pussy was begging for more. 

He slammed into you for a final time, this position trumping them all. He gripped your hips, locking in on you, giving you no chance of escape. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t try. You climbed to the top of the bed, trying to put a bit of space between yourself and Tony’s strokes, but he just pulled you back in, fucking you harder than before. 

Tears welled up in your eyes. The intensity was becoming entirely too much. Your nipples brushed your bedsheets the harder he fucked you into them. His balls slapped against your clit, every time he met your hips. And his grunts of pleasure from using you, sent you toppling over the edge for a third time. The stimulation sending you into a convulsing fit. You squirted against him, covering his member with your sticky wet cream. Luckily for you, he followed shortly after, coating your walls with his thick white seed. 

When you collapsed, he rolled to the other side of you, both of you breathing heavier than before.  When he caught his breath, you turned over to drape your naked body onto his. 

“Was I too rough” He asked, suddenly feeling like he went overboard.

“Absolutely not.” You giggled. “Please do that to me all the time.”

He smiled in response burying his nose in your hair. The smell of coconut immediately comforting him. “I love you Y/N.” He cooed.

You lifted your head from his chest to kiss him sweetly. “I love you too, Tony.” That was the last thing you both said, before drifting off into a peaceful slumber. 

Whether your relationship lasted a lifetime, or ended in a year, in this moment you were happy. Happy that you no longer had to hide from the world. Happy that he was finally in your arms again. Happy to want someone, who wanted you even more. 

Happy to exist at the same time as him. 

A/N: Please do not repost my work as your own. Comments, likes, and reblogs are encouraged. I love you all, and really hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading :)

[blackdiamondwrites127]

First Meeting (Sibylle's Perspective)

My girlfriend @ellielovesdrawing and I decided to do a collab fanfic about Sibylle and Kath's first meeting! Mine is in Sibylle's perspective while hers is in Kath's perspective which you can find here. Hope you guys like this!

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Sibylle exited her office at exactly noon. She had double saved her work on her laptop and crossed out the 8 am - 12 pm slot on her daily schedule chart. She made sure to lock the office door and put up the sign that read:

'Out to lunch'

She started doing this to avoid anymore stolen ledger incidents. The last this she needs is hunting someone down who took her ledger and throwing her entire schedule off. Sibylle exits through the employee door and makes her way to the theatre cafe next door. She ducks as she enters to avoid hitting her head on the door frame.

'One concussion is enough in both of my lives,' she thought. Adjusting her thick glasses.

She goes over and gets in line. Waits until it was her turn at the counter.

"Hey there, Sibylle. What will it be today?" Arthur Tudor, the cafe owner, and fellow reincarnated historical figure greeted.

"Hi, Art. I'll be having my usual iced coffee and club sandwich. Take away thanks," she said.

"Coming right up."

As Arthur made her order, Sibylle looks at the pastries displayed behind the glass display by the counter.

"Hey Art, do you carry any other pastries aside from cookies and cupcakes?" she asked.

"Sometimes I have slices of cheesecake and a box of cinnamon buns that EB loves," Arthur replied.

"Do you make cakes? My Papabär is coming over to visit tomorrow and he loves cakes. I was thinking of buying one for him."

"My sister baked the pastries that I sell. She owns a bakery across the street and I just buy from her."

"I didn't know you have a sister."

"I have three sisters. The youngest one is the one who owns the bakery. Here's your order."

Arthur comes back to the counter with her take away order and Sibylle pays for it.

"Why don't you go check it out. See if you fancy any of her cakes and other pastries. The bakery's called Tudor Rose Bakery," he suggested while counting her payment and giving her her change.

"I think I will after work. Thanks, Art," she said. She took her to take away and exited the cafe before making her way back to the theatre and in her office.

Around five, she saves her work on her laptop, crosses out the 1 pm - 5 pm slot on her daily schedule, and packs up her things in her backpack. She picks up her helmet then shuts the lights before shutting and locking the door. She clocks out and leaves through the employee door. Sibylle goes over to her motorbike parked at the employee parking and hangs her helmet on one of the handlebars before crossing the street.

She walked a few paces until she was standing in front of a small bakery with the sign 'Tudor Rose Bakery' on top. She ducks down a bit as she enters the bakery. The bell above the door rang as she entered. As soon as she was inside, the smell of fresh pastries hit her senses. The bakery was small but the place was beautifully simple with rose themed decorations, mostly murals of roses on the white walls. She smiled a bit when she hears the song 'Popular' playing on a Bluetooth speaker propped onto the counter.

She hums along to the song while looking around the few shelves that carried the packed pastries displayed there and their corresponding prices.

"Welcome to the Tudor Rose Bakery! What can I do you for?" a woman's voice cheerily said behind her.

Sibylle straightened up and turned around to face the owner, greet her back and tell her about her intention in buying a cake but all words, even german words, escaped her when she faced the owner.

The very pretty owner.

The very pretty owner looking up at her with icy blue eyes.

The very pretty owner with freckles decorating her very pretty face.

The very pretty owner that was smiling sweetly at her.

The very pretty own-- okay we get it! You're gay!

"Um...ma'am? Are you okay?"

Sibylle snapped out of her flustered stupor by shaking her head, clearing her throat and adjusting her glasses.

"Uh ja! I was wondering if you have any cakes?" she asked.

She hit herself internally for that ridiculous question. Of course she has cakes! It's a bakery for crying out loud! The owner chuckled and Sibylle got even more flustered upon hearing her laugh.

"Yes I have cakes. My brother, Arthur, told me that you would be coming. Sibylle correct?"

"Yes. Sibylle La Marck."

"I'm Katherine Tudor but just call me 'Kath'. Nice to meet you and you don't happen to be related to Anna, William and Amalia are you?"

Sibylle chuckled. "I am actually. I'm their older sister," she said.

"I can see the resemblance! Anna and William loves to come here every other day and orders everything that's either chocolate coated or chocolate flavoured."

"All four of us loves chocolate everything to be honest."

Kath smiled at her again which almost made her heart skip a beat. "No wonder! Now, would you like to order a custom made cake?" she asked.

"Um no. I would like one that's already made. My father loves cakes and he's coming over to visit tomorrow," she replied.

"Of course! This way please."

She follows Kath to the display counter where several cakes and pastries were on display.

"I have madeira, heavy fruit cakes, light fruitcakes. Heavy sponges. Light sponges. And red velvet," the baker listed off while pointing to the cakes in the glass counter.

Sibylle looks at the wide variety of cakes on display. Contemplating which one to get for Papabär. She herself prefers chocolate but her Papabär loves red velvet.

"Found anything you like?" Kath asked.

"Hmmm...I think I'll take one chocolate cake and one red velvet," Sibylle said.

"Sure! Which one? There are a few to choose from."

"Anything is fine as long as it's chocolate and red velvet."

"Coming right up!"

She goes to the back to get two boxes for the two cakes that Sibylle picked. While she waited for her cakes, she noticed the song playing on the Bluetooth speaker had changed and was now playing 'Defying Gravity' and Kath was quietly singing along to it while she ties neat red ribbons around the boxes.

Should she test the waters?

See if this beautiful baker is a fellow Wicked fan?

Might as well do it then.

"I can't help but notice your playlist consisting of songs from Wicked," Sibylle said. She internally patted herself on the back with that start.

The baker seemed to blush shyly and she decided at that moment that she loved the way she blushes. This thought makes blush a bit in turn.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm a major fan of wicked, I prefer the books to the musical though but the music in the musical is bopping!" Kath said. A big, excited grin on the baker's face.

This made Sibylle have an excited grin of her own.

"Same actually! I love the songs from the musical but the books are my preferred canon! The musical all but removed the political commentary and that's what I loved in the books."

"I know! The political commentary in the books make it much more interesting and in depth! Not to mention the lack of Glinda and Elphaba romance in the musical which was very abundant in the first book."

"I know right!"

She noticed her blue eyes had lit up while geeking out with another Wicked fan. She herself is quite happy to discover that this beautiful woman shares the same interest as her.

"You know, you do kind of remind me of Elphaba," Kath said.

"Oh? How so? Do I have green skin or a water allergy?" Sibylle asked.

"More like tall, lanky, glasses and the long braid."

She blushed a bit and absentmindedly played with the tip of her braid.

"The braid is actually the intentional nod to Elphaba in my appearance. The rest is just...me," she said.

Kath smiled at her and yet again, her heart skipped a beat. She rings up her order and gave her the price to which she paid with a bit of extra.

"Keep the change," She said as Kath started to count her change.

"Are you sure?" the baker asked.

"Ja. It's a tip for having the lovely conversation with me." She smiled at her.

Kath smiles back. "Thank you, Ibby."

"Ibby?"

"Oh sorry! I just thought 'Ibby' would suit you as a nickname."

Sibylle smiled at this. "Funny enough, my Papabär gave me the nickname 'Ibby' when he first met me," she said.

"Oh! Well do you mind if I call you that? Because I kind of want to see you more and get to know you," Kath said.

At this point they were both blushing now. Sibylle more so than Kath.

"I-I would like that," she said.

The baker seemed to lit up more at this. She rushed out back before running back out again and handing her a business card with a number written on the back.

"Here's my number! Let's talk more when you have the time!" she said.

Sibylle smiled and graciously took the card. Putting it in her left pocket where her wedding ring was in.

"I'll text you when I get home then. That way you can save my number," she said.

"I'm looking forward to it!"

"Thank you for the cakes, Kath."

"No problem, Ibby."

With that, Sibylle took her cakes and left the bakery. A small smile remained on her face as she drove home to her flat.

Perhaps she can modify her daily schedule to fit in the new 'Go to the bakery' slot with as much break time as she can fit in there as possible.

Yeah. She would definitely do that.

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Featured/Mentioned Sixtended OCs:

@ellielovesdrawing 's Katherine Tudor

@djts-arts 's Arthur Tudor

@spooner7308 's EB

@pandora-dusk 's Mali von Kleve

@lexartsstuff 's William Jülich-Berg-Cleves