#anything im gonna fail at every single test !!!!!!!!!!!!! im so stupid god.

[lalaluvvs]

robot sug pt 2

thanks for all the love lately! im clearly having too much fun writing these...

Suguru doesn't remember when it started, but he knew he was in trouble the second it did.

He felt a pang in his heart- or what mimicked a human heart- and felt fear like he never had before. He began running through all the tests in his software, frantically running every program back to back. They all came back positive, with no sign of anything wrong.

But he felt wrong.

That morning he kept his strange feeling to himself. Not the smartest decision, he would admit, but he'd rather not bother Satoru with useless checks. He would remind him over and over that he was never a problem, but Suguru did not yet have the emotional intelligence to tell whether that were true.

However, as stupid and oblivious as the guy was, Satoru noticed a change within his companion. He forgot to make the bed, and allowed him to throw his clothes around the room. What's worse- he was burning the pancakes.

"Hey." Satoru comes up behind him, soft hand pressed into his shoulder. He's taken aback by the flinch it illicits, and pulls back a second later. "You seem out of it today. Why don't you take the time to recharge?"

Suguru shakes his head, less stiff now than he was just a few months prior. He was learning, and he was learning fast. "No." he sighs. It was eerily human-like. "Im fine. I promise. Just- need to start over."

He tosses out the burnt pancake from the pan and plops more batter onto it, watching it carefully before Satoru notices his eyes grow distant with thought. He doesn't mention it for the time being.

Satoru picks a grape from the fresh bowl of fruits Suguru always left out for him. He was so good at buying the sweet ones. "Nah it's cool. I'll just order some takeout, no biggie."

Suguru glares at him and there's something so irritatingly authoritative in his eyes that he can't stand, something that says "not even an option." He does best with avoidance, so he walks away before he has to hear his speech. He wanders aimlessly through the kitchen, keeping a close eye on Suguru and watching him fail uncharacteristically at making breakfast. It was seriously hard to watch.

He hums, running down to the basement and coming back up with his tools in hand. Suguru only side eyes him, relaxing only when he realizes that it's too early for Satoru's antics. He usually offers a grace period of peace. Usually.

That's until he starts throwing the tools haphazardly around the table. They clatter and thunk, interrupting Suguru's quiet, peaceful morning. To be fair, it wasnt like it was all that quiet in his head anyway.

He creates a small circle of tools right beside him as he sits at the kitchen table, flipped away from the table, staring at Suguru's back until he starts to get the hint.

Suguru does, in fact, get the hint after about thirty seconds. He really did have such a good robot.

"What do you need?" Suguru frowns, arms crossed in front of his chest. He was getting so bold recently, and it made Satoru so proud to see him out of his shell.

"Other than breakfast?" he holds up his tools, grinning ear to ear. ""m gonna fix ya!"

Suguru only looks at him, head cocked to the side.

"Oh don't look at me like that. Come here." He urges Suguru to sit in the chair he pulled right in front of him.

Begrudgingly, the robot moves. More out of a sense of 'I owe this man my life' than obedience. Although, thinking about it, he would follow every single request, no matter how ridiculous. There, again. The pang in his heart. He'd been feeling it off and on, keeping track of when it came, but he still had no answer as to what could've caused it.

He picks his eyes up then, meeting Satoru's lively, blue ones and has to fight the impulse to flinch back at his closeness. God, when did that become a thing?

He feels the pang again. He doesn't consider this pain. No, the opposite. When he looks into his eyes, he feels something like- well like when you finish a new, hefty update. Or when you're given nice things, like clothes and a roof over your head and a pan to make pancakes in the morning. It's the feeling of getting up and taking care of someone, even when they're fully capable of taking care of themselves.

This feeling... it didn't have a name in his mind. It was just familiar, surrounded by all the things he would be afraid to lose. Like his new wardrobe, or his pan for pancakes, or the mornings he spent with Satoru.

He knew what the pang was. He just couldn't bring himself to admit that. Not now, and probably not ever. Satoru would simply not want him anymore, he decided.

So, he sat back and let the young engineer pull all the wires and push all the buttons he needed to.

Satoru would never figure out what his problem was, and figured he would just take a break from working on Suguru for a while. He knew Suguru was aware of something he wasn't, but for some reason he didn't find it important enough to bother him about it. He was like that about everything.

He realized on that day that he held a secret with the power to destroy everything he's been gicen these past few months. He was getting greedy. He wouldn't ask for Satoru to love him. He couldn't. Not when everything about him made him a fraud.

[imagines-mha]

⭒ haikyuu x exam season ⭒

Daichi- when i say he is the MOODIEST person when studying. It’s all fun and games until you interrupt him one too many times and he fucking explodes. Needs 2 chill

Suga- his goal in life is to be an aesthetic studyblr like this man will go and get iced coffee, order the prettiest stationary and then spend 20 minutes organising it for his instagram. As for ACTUALLY studying? He’s amazing at it. Literally the person we all aspire to be

Asahi- anxiety crams before tests. He does more than like 70% of his classmates but is always convinced he’s fallen behind on everything. Cries a LOT when he doesnt understand smth

Noya- another one who cries only he does it SO easily. Personally victimised by anything past question 1. Gets literally everyone to do his work for him

Tanaka- tries so hard he really really does. His handwriting is a mess and his notes look like something a 7 year old would do. Gets everything wrong but doesnt let it stop him

Ennoshita- did someone say pretentious straight A student??? Offers to help his friends just so he can flex his pretty notes and intelligence. Seems like he has everything under control but really? He cries like once a night in the lead up to exams

Kageyama- he doesnt have any room for anything in his head that isnt volleyball. Hes hopeless

Hinata- LACKS COMMON SENSE SO BAD. He’ll finally understand EVERYTHING but write the answer in the wrong place or leave out a decimal place in the exam. Stupidest mistakes

Tsukishima- he sticks to a study schedule like what? Who tf sticks to a schedule? Doesnt like to flaunt his grades around anyone who isnt hinata and kageyama, but akiteru and his mom are 100% the type to post his grades all over facebook like “so proud of my son !!!!!!”

Yamaguchi- the king of saying he hasn’t done much for exams, but then stays up every night til 2am studying. He HATES people having any expectations of him so keeps all his preparation secret lmao.

Kuroo- hes smart and he flaunts it so bad. 100% a teacher's pet, especially for science. Around exam season he lives in the library. Motivates kenma to study with him too tho hes so supportive

Kenma- hes naturally smart, which is like 70% of the reason his grades are good bc he does NOT study. Leaves it all to the night before/ when hes with his friends in the library but other than that nope he doesnt have energy

Lev- doesn't fully register he’s taking a test until he’s 3 questions in and hasn’t written a single word. Then he starts panicking.

Bokuto- he goes through the 5 stages of grief every single time he has to study. Gets frustrated as hell when he cant understand something, gets distracted by everything, a mess. Always leads to him slamming his textbook shut and sulking for an hour

Akaashi- the only one in fukurodani who actually spreads his studying out over the year so he doesnt have to cram. He has pretty notes and diagrams but still gets so stressed smh

Konoha- “yeah ill study in ten minutes” *cue him 6 hours later only starting* studies mostly at night and doesnt care about grades , yet still manages to score really good on every test

Oikawa- if this man is anything he’s dedicated. Actually finds balance between volleyball and studying when exam season’s in full swing, but that doesnt mean he still doesnt overwork himself. Surviving on 40 minutes of sleep and coffee lmao

Mattsun- doesn’t take school seriously at all. Hes like “who cares im gonna die one day” “if i dont know it now ill never know it”. So fucking chill

Makki- tries to be like issei so bad but it fails every time. He’s like “yeah who cares about biology anyway lmao”. He is a liar. He cried for 2 hours over biology last night smh. Biology is actually his number one care.

Iwa- naturally smart and follows a routine. The only healthy studier in seijoh tbh. Motivates his friends so much though hes the only reason mattsun and makki pass smh

Ushijima- sounds pretentious but he doesnt mean it. The worst person to study with because hes so naturally smart and makes everyone feel stupid. Hes like “how do you not understand this? Its easy?”

Tendou- hes so average when it comes to studying i cant even explain it. He goes home and studies, has dinner, watches some anime and studies a little more, then just goes to bed? Never overly concerned about it but hes the best for calming nerves. Makes you really believe things will be okay

Goshiki- CHRONIC WORRIER OH MY GOD. definitely gets the shakes before an exam and almost has a fuckin panic attack every single time, never feels prepared but he really is. Needs tendou for emotional support

Atsumu- too confident in his abilities lmao. He’s like “yeah ive got this i totally know it” then acts shocked and appalled when he fails. Thinks he’s the main character, therefore he HAS to pass. He’s not. And he never learns.

Osamu- the slightly smarter twin yet still not exceptional in any way. Doesnt really care about grades, he knows there’s more to life but still studies enough to pass

Kita- hello mr “whats a failing grade”. Never stresses and never fails. Actually the top of his class in basically everything. Manages to study and still find time for hobbies.

Aone- i am convinced a hug from him would get me through exam season every single year. Another person who just? Doesnt stress? Follows a routine and doesnt mind if he doesnt know something in the test. wow

Futakuchi- “i dont care about exams at all fuck them” *gets 53% and cries*. He doesnt have the patience to study and feels betrayed when all his friends actually do the work

Koganegawa- hes like hinata only he actually passes most of the time. Works SO hard and gets so happy when it pays off!! Always treats himself to mcdonalds after an exam thats self love babie

Terushima- you need to be cautious around this man. He’ll spend every night of exam season partying and ignoring any responsibility, yet still come out with 100% in everything. Where does he find the time? How does that work? What the fuck?

[clinicallyinsanegirl]

😩

[stupidjewkyle]

kyle x bebe (smut-ish) fanfic- i hate you

requested by: anonymous

!!AGED UP!!

TW: smut (make out part), suggestive content (mostly just innuendos of being aroused) details of small sexual acts. HELLA tension. i tried to go light on this for it being the first smut-kinda-content on my new account.

NOTE: you guys can imagine whatever you want but please please please picture them 18 or 18+. it would make me feel more comfortable writing this kind of stuff. also please don’t hate on me or the person who requested this. if you don’t like it, just keep scrolling. there is never any need to hate on anyone or anything. thank you :)

it was the middle of class and the students were all taking a timed math quiz. all of them where quickly working, not even checking their answers to see if they were right. all of them are just trying to put down as many answer as they can before the timer stops.

unfortunately for bebe, math was her worst subject. she had only 2 questions, out of 10, filled out. she looked up at the clock. 4 minutes. she started to panic. her face got hot and sweaty. she was embarrassed at how everyone else was either done of about to be, and she had barely started. there was only one more option bebe had to do if she didn’t wanna fail.

she looked over at wendy, and saw that she was done. bebe would ask wendy for answers, but wendy was too far. she looked over at heidi, she was almost done. but it was too risky to ask her for answers. heidi would definitely be too loud about it. cartman sure did change her.

bebe groaned she was out of options. until it hit her. she glanced over at kyle, who sat right next to her and just happened to be the smartest kid in class, and also just happened to be finished. she had an idea.

bebe knocked her pencil case off the desk.

“oh shit! kyle can you get that for me? i cant reach that far.” bebe said in a whiny tone, pouting at kyle.

“uh sure bebe.” he said weirded out at her desperateness. he bent over and started collecting her items. bebe began to write his answers down.

bebe finally finished just as kyle got back up.

“here.” he said. “i still don’t understand why you couldn’t have just picked it up, but whatever...you’re welcome.”

“oh yeah, thanks kyle.” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

skip to the next day, same time

“so children. i looked over your tests last night and well. most of you did mediocre, which was expected, but a few of you got perfect scores!” everyone looked at each other smiling wondering who they were. “but children, i also noticed something a little odd. two of you had the exact. same. answers. for every. single. question.”

the students quickly turned from excited, to confused.

“kyle. bebe. see me after class.”

“what the fuck?” kyle said loudly.

bring, bring, bring!

everyone started leaving the class, one by one. except for bebe and kyle of course.

“bebe what the fuck did you do?!” kyle whispered loudly.

“what did i do?? what did you do!” bebe lied, pretending she didn’t know what he was talking about.

“okay children. which one of you is gonna speak up?? who cheated on who?? this isn’t a coincidence.”

“mr garrison, do you really think i would cheat on a goddamn math test??? have you seen my grades for fucks sake??” kyle said, panicking.

“jesus kyle calm down. no i don’t think you did.”

“thank you!” kyle said relived.

“but i doubt bebe would do it either.”

“WHAT?!” kyle screamed.

“see kyle, i told you i didn’t do it.” bebe said sweetly smiling at him, slighting staring at his lips.

kyle groaned. “jesus christ. i’m leaving.” kyle stormed out of the classroom.

“ah shit he left. sorry bebe, we’ll continue this tomorrow.” mr garrison escorted her out of the classroom and closed the door.

kyle was walking outside of school. “fucking bebe. she’s trying to ruin my life. it’s like there’s another cartman.” he mumbled to himself.

“who’re you talking to, you fucking weirdo.” bebe said standing behind him.

“jesus, bebe what do you want?” kyle said.

“nothing...” she started walking close to him. kyle started stuttering. “i just want you to know that,” she pulled him closer to her by his collar, the tips of their noses almost touching. “i. always. win.” she let go of him and then starting walking away.

“holy shit.” kyle said, standing there speechless, flustered, mad, and slightly aroused.

when kyle got home, he immediately called mr garrison.

“mr garrison?? i know what happened with the test. bebe copied off me. she basically told me herself.” kyle said, grinning like the devil.

“oh are you sure?” mr garrison replied.

“positive.”

“well okay then. thank you kyle. bye now.”

he hung up.

kyle laid down on his bed, proud of himself.

time skip to the next day

kyle was walking down the hallways with stan.

“so yeah i ended up loosing the bet but i don’t fucking care. craig has to pay me back anyways.” stan said to kyle.

“no stand. fuck craig. you should’ve won the-“

bebe pushed kyle against the wall.

“KYLE ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!” bebe yelled, stepping in front of him so he couldn’t move. everyone in the hallways turned to stare towards them.

“bebe what the hell r u talking abt?” kyle said putting his hands up to to per-sway his “innocence.”

“YOU PIECE OF ACTUALLY FUCKING SHIT!” bebe pushed him harder against the locker.

“jesus bebe calm down!” kyle said as her knee went in between his legs, almost touching his groin. at this point everyone in the hallways was crowded around them.

“KYLE! IM GETTING AN F ON THE TEST AND DETENTION FOR TWO DAYS AND I HAVE TO DO FUCKING TUTORING NOW! DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” bebe said pulling his collar close to her, this time their faces touching. some of kyle’s friends started laughing. “kyle’s such a pussy.” cartman said. “yeah bebe’s totally gonna fuck him up.” craig laughed. this made kyle really, really angry.

bebe became weak for a second, allowing kyle to switch positions. he flipped her and then pinned her against the lockers instead, leaving bebe shocked and turned on.

“bebe i swear to fucking god, if you yell at me in-front of everyone again, i’ll beat the shit out of you. and i don’t care that you’re a girl. got it?” kyle said through gritted teeth, staring at her soft,plump lips. kyle couldn’t hide how furious he was.

“got it...” bebe slightly moaned.”

“BROFOLOSKI! STEVENS! MY OFFICE! NOW!” mr mackey said after seeing them against the lockers and seeing how everyone was crowed around them.

kyle and bebe angrily walked with him, ignoring everyone’s “oooooo”’s.

the three of them were now in mr mackeys office.

kyle and bebe giving each other death stares.

“i’ve had it with you two at each other’s throats, mkay? i think you two need to sort your issues out. follow me.” mr mackey said as he started leading them to a classroom. “you guys and me will stay in here all afternoon until your problems are worked out, mkay?”

after 30 minutes, barely any progress was made. the most they said was, “fuck you.” to each other.

“i don’t think i can take much more of this. i’m asking mr garrison for help. ill be back as soon as i find him, mkay?” he said.

“yeah sure.” kyle said his arms still crossed.

“whatever.” bebe said, her arms matching kyles.

5 minutes had passed and it was dead silent. the two were still standing up, both clearly irritated.

“we wouldn’t be here if you had just studied for your math test dumbass.” kyle mumbled.

“maybe if you weren’t such a stuck up prick, we wouldn’t be here. you know, everyone cheats off each other. it’s not a big deal.” bebe said rolling her eyes.

“if it’s not a big deal then why are we here? oh i know, cause you went all psycho in the hallway!” kyle said, raising his voice.

“i was only mad cause you told on me!” bebe said walking closer to kyle, pointing a finger.

“oh right cause this is all my fault.” kyle replied, making fake quotes with his fingers.

“actually it is. maybe if you weren’t so far up your own ass, you’d stop only caring about yourself! you stupid fucking pathetic loser!” bebe said, now staring at his lips.

“god! do you ever shut up??” kyle said, staring right back at her lips.

“make. me.” bebe said through gritted teeth.

kyle and bebe grabbed each other, sloppily making out. kyle pushed bebe against the nearest wall. bebe put her leg around him, pushing him closer. kyle’s hard-on was pressing against her. “i fucking hate you.” bebe said between kisses. kyle smiled and started kissing her harder. bebe put her tongue in his mouth with no warning, making kyle moan slightly. kyle put his hand at the base of her shirt. “can i?” he asked. “jesus kyle. don’t be a pussy. do it.” kyle smiled and started putting his hand up her shirt, until they heard the door rattle.

“SHIT!” they both said at the same time. they got off of each other.

“okay, i brought you too some worksheets to do, to help calm you down, mkay?”

“actually mr mackey, i think we worked things out. we should probably go home now and finish our homework, right kyle?” bebe said, obviously trying to get out of there.

“uh yeah, yes! we really do!” kyle said, struggling to hide his raging erection.

“well i uh guess you could leave early if you-“

“thanks!” they both interrupted and then quickly left.

mr mackey sat down, smiling to himself.

“i’m such a good consular.”

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 2/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: aaaa i’m so glad everyone liked the first chapter! i think this story will end up staying focused on gigi and crystal for the most part, but there is some (one sided) jankie in this chapter if you’re into that! also: just in case no one got the reference, the nickname crystal gives gigi, ‘georgia rose’,comes from the 1d lyrics “Said her name was georgia rose, and her daddy was a dentist” from their song ‘best song ever’!

gigi: are u okay :( ily crystal

crystal: yeah i just got picked on by this cheerleader that doesnt like me

Technically, she wasn’t lying. Crystal didn’t think it was too bad, considering she really only ever saw Dahlia in history class, but she still made it her mission to make that 45 minutes rough for Crystal whenever possible. This time it was pushing all of Crystal’s belongings off of her desk while she was leaving.

gigi: fuck. im sorry. 

crystal: it’s fine dskjdshjgkjf i wish all cheerleaders could take notes from you and jan

gigi: yaaas me and jan invented being nice

gigi: but i was wondering if maybe you could teach me about one direction later tonight?

Crystal had tried to convince the group earlier in the week that One Direction was the best boy band ever, and had only managed to get Jan to agree. She was glad that Gigi had finally come to her senses.

crystal: finally changing your mind? amazayn!

gigi: i regret asking now. take that pun back to 2011!!!!

The rest of the day went as normal. The chat was pretty active, but eventually died down at the end of the school day. Everyone seemed to have plans; Jan was studying, Jaida was going out to hang with friends, Nicky was sleeping, and Heidi was starting a new challenge on the Sims. It appeared to be just her and Gigi, alone in the group chat. 

Crystal decided to message Gigi privately, not wanting the rest of the girls to see her go into full stan mode. If someone asked Crystal about her interests, she could go hours before thinking of stopping herself.

crystal: ok miss gigi are you ready for your 1d crash course?

Crystal told Gigi everything she wanted to know and even more. A history of how they got together, way too much information on each of the five boys, telling her the best songs on each album, and making sure that Gigi knew ‘Midnight Memories’ was their best album. 

gigi: but ur @ is dedicated to made in the am?? fraud!

crystal: HELPFDFHBJ

crystal: mmcrystal sounds weird… like no thanks 

gigi: that was very interesting.. i’ll def listen to midnight memories in the morning <3

crystal: YAY! gigi 1d stan finally

gigi: no promises! :)

Crystal didn’t respond to that, not really knowing what to talk about now. Having a group of friends helped her be less awkward, but it definitely didn’t fix that problem completely. 

gigi: do u wanna play 21 questions or something?? to get to know eachother better???

Of course, Crystal jumped at the chance to get to know the other girl better. It started very innocently, asking about favorite colors and foods. Gigi quickly changed that.

gigi: uhh… have u ever kissed a girl?

crystal: sadly no.. my state is full of straight people

gigi: same.. ur turn

crystal: this feels awkward to ask but uhhh….

As soon as she hits send, she instantly regrets it. She backtracks what she had originally typed, desperately trying to come up with another question. Crystal was not able to think of anything else.

gigi: ????

“I guess I’ll have to do it,” Crystal says, talking to absolutely no one. She types it out again, looking away from her phone as she blindly tried to hit the send button, like it would help her situation be any less flustering for her.

crystal: how long have you and nicky been dating?

Would Gigi find it weird that she asked? Gigi was the one who brought up kissing girls, not Crystal, so it would be fine. Right?

gigi: CRYSTAL WHATBDGNHSDMFD

gigi: nicky and i are not dating omg im single

gigi: she’s like my sister. plus i would never do long distance

Crystal was so embarrassed. She was relieved this conversation was taking place through a screen, so Gigi wouldn’t see her blushing face. 

She was pleased that she was wrong about the two girls, but Gigi’s answer was upsetting to her.

They asked a few more personal questions before Gigi started asking Crystal would you rather questions instead. Crystal’s favorite out of them was if she would rather get a mullet or dress like a clown every day for the rest of her high school career. The answer was both, obviously. 

They spent the rest of the night sending each other stupid questions, giggling to themselves. The later it got, the more Gigi would flirt with her. At least Crystal thought it was flirting.

gigi: it’s really late and i have a test tomorrow so im gonna go to sleep. goodnight, babe

Gigi always would say ‘goodnight, bitch’, and this made Crystal even more confused. The ongoing joke that lesbians had the hardest time telling if a girl is into them or not was one of Crystal’s favorites, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if that was exactly what was happening to her. There was obviously a connection between them, but it was unclear to Crystal if it was just platonic. 

It didn’t hit her until later that night, while she was trying to fall asleep, but Crystal wasn’t entirely sure where Gigi lived. She knew they were in the same time zone, but wasn’t sure what state she was in. It was totally possible that Gigi lived in Missouri, but Crystal highly doubted it. Though Gigi obviously trusted Crystal enough to want to play 21 questions with her, she was still very private, and Crystal wasn’t too sure if Gigi would tell her what state she was in. 

Crystal fell asleep thinking about her highly unrealistic perfect world, where Gigi lived in Missouri and where Crystal wasn’t just another Nicky. 

-

Crystal got onto Twitter right after waking up the next morning, ready to ask Gigi if she happened to live in Missouri, but quickly got distracted with a very interesting conversation going on in the group chat.

jan!: now i may not be gay but i’m in love with a woman… 2 words jackie

jaida: i- that’s only one word

jan!: fuck

heidi: the way i can’t tell if you’re joking or not

jan!: the way i don’t think i am joking

gigi: YAAS about time u admitted that u like her

crystal: hold on i thought jan was straight?? who’s jackie???

nicky: do you really think a straight person would hang out with us?

crystal: good point 

jan!: I AM STRAIGHT! i think? i don’t know i’m so confused. 

heidi: jackie is jan’s local @ crystal

gigi: jan be like: im straight.

gigi: but also jan is like: wow jackie is so pretty and she’s so funny and smart i’m going to fail geometry so she can tutor me but no homo!

heidi: the delusion janice has…

jaida: not to be serious but if you think you like jackie, you probably aren’t straight baby. everyone else hush and let her talk

nicky: ^^ yeah jan what happened

jan!: first of all i did not fail geometry i just said we should study together so we did!!! and have been for months! but last night i couldn’t focus at all bc she’s so pretty all i wanted to do was k*ss her out of nowhere

In a way, Crystal could definitely relate. Gigi wasn’t her local, she still didn’t know what the girl looked like, but she still kind of wanted to kiss her. She couldn’t focus on anything besides Gigi sometimes, not like she would ever admit it. 

All of the girls had sent many comforting messages addressed to Jan, saying that it was okay, and she has all the time she needs to figure out her feelings. Afterwards, everyone had gone back to being playful. Gigi also tried to convince her to make a move on Jackie, which Jan refused.

gigi: if u talk to her u guys can get married <3

crystal: gigi you’re so stupid i love it

jan!: omg did someone say stupid love??? stream! 

gigi: crystal back me up :(

crystal: i might’ve found out who jackie is only 10 minutes ago but i will cry if jan doesn’t talk to her right now

jan!: better start crying bc i dont think i can even look at her now

jaida: that’s not saying much at all. you cried the other day bc gigi sent a pic of her dog

crystal: I AM A NANCY STAN FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND!!

Crystal knew she looked like an idiot, walking to her locker with her eyes glued to her phone and a dopey smile on her face but she couldn’t care less.

-

The day actually went well for Crystal. The highlight of her day was finding out that the story she wrote for her creative writing class had gotten the highest grade out of everyone in the class, earning her a piece of candy. 

crystal: just got candy and a 99% on my story for class… i truly have the mind of a mastermind

jaida: beauty and intelligence in one combined!

Navigating through the halls was much more difficult when your eyes are glued to your phone, but replying to a meme Jaida sent seemed much more appealing to Crystal than getting to her seventh period without worrying about bumping into someone.  And bumping into someone, she did.

“What the actual fuck, weirdo?” Dahlia yelped, looking extremely offended, “Get off of your sad, cracked phone and watch where your dumb ass is going.”

Crystal just stared at her, frozen in fear. Dahlia taunted her daily, but this was very different from how she usually acts towards her. It was quite terrifying. 

“I swear to God, if you ever look at me, let alone fucking touch me again-” She continued, but before she could finish her statement, she was interrupted by her friend, Georgina running over and pulling her away. 

Crystal didn’t think Georgina shared Dahlia's hatred for her, and Crystal didn’t hate Georgina either. Georgina actually seemed very sweet besides the fact that she had never bothered to step in on the rare occasion Dahlia happened to target Crystal outside of class.

“Can you please leave her alone? We don’t have time for this.” Georgina groaned, looking back at Crystal, flashing her a quick smile, before turning around to escort Dahlia to what Crystal assumed was cheerleading practice.

“But she bumped into me!” Dahlia whined, not used to being interrupted like this.

“Really? Wow, funny. I don’t care.”

Once they were out of sight, Crystal was alone again. She pulled out her phone and went to check if anyone had said anything else in the chat; just Jan freaking out, because Jackie had smiled at her in the hallway.

heidi: everyone say i if you think jan should stop being a baby and ask jackie out

jaida: i

crystal: i

jan!: WTF

jan!: friendship ended with heidi, jaida and crystal. now nicky and gigi are my best friends

jaida: they would say i too if they were online and you know that

jan!: i don’t need friends! they disappoint me!

Crystal decided to not use her phone while she was walking home, not wanting to have a repeat of the Dahlia situation. Her after school routine changed a lot in the past week, making a rule to not check Twitter before completing her homework. Her Twitter addiction was getting worse, but since it was also causing her to be more productive with doing her homework, she saw no issues with it. Once she had finished, she picked up her phone to see that Gigi had messaged her less than a minute ago.

gigi: hey clown :) im done w practice

crystal: WHY AM I A CLOWNDFSHDM

gigi: u just have clown energy. i cant and wont explain 

crystal: honestly yeah i see it but can i at least be your clown wife or something

gigi: yeah <3 hey clown wife! i listened to most of midnight memories and it was really good! my fave song is u and i

If that’s not love, then what is? If that’s not friendship, then what is? Crystal had never been able to get anyone to listen to anything she recommended, ever. She was filled with glee, double tapping the message to heart it. It meant a lot to her.

crystal: YAYAYAYAYA im so glad but it looks so ugly when you spell it like that 

gigi: my fave song you and i* >:(

crystal: better 

gigi: if i have to stop spelling it as u to make you not divorce me i will

Crystal knew deep down it was just a joke, but it made her heart race. The feeling she got every time Gigi would flirt with her was very unfamiliar, but very nice. It didn’t help that Crystal thought ‘You and I’ was one of the most romantic songs One Direction had, she couldn’t help but make the fact Gigi liked it out of all of the other songs into something it was not.

This reminded her of her late night thoughts. She had completely forgotten to ask Gigi where she lived, but the idea didn’t seem the greatest now that she was fully awake. She was still curious though, so against her better judgement she asked, without a segway or anything.

crystal: i forgot to ask but what state do you live in? asking for science

gigi: oh i live in missouri

crystal: omg me too

gigi: i don’t wanna reveal where but this is amazing.. maybe we won’t have to break the distance at all <3

Pleased that she somehow got an answer, Crystal changed the conversation into a discussion of ‘Midnight Memories’, and if Gigi agreed with the opinions Crystal had shared the night before. She did, for the most part and before they knew it, it was time for Gigi to go sleep. Had they really talked all evening? 

gigi: i have to get up early so i need to go to sleep but im really glad jan added u to the gc

crystal: and im happy you asked me about one direction!

gigi: me too. ur cute when ur passionate. i hope we can continue to grow closer

crystal: i’d like that.

gigi: goodnight, my clown :)

crystal: goodnight, georgia rose

gigi: U DID NOT

gigi: my full name isnt even georgia and dad isnt even a dentist but i’ll allow it bc i know u think u invented comedy

gigi: ok gn now <33 luv u

crystal: gn!!! sleep well

Crystal wanted them to stay like this forever.

[sainadazai]

Chapter 2

There was a certain essence of security in the fact that one kid would be sent home today, still there was a horrible feeling inside you that you'd be the one leaving.

There was no reason for you to fail, Mr.Aizawa didn't seem to be singling anyone out, though.

That alone made you nervous, if he didn't have someone specific in mind, then it was free reign whoever would be booted at the end of the day.

Bakugou threw a softball more than seven hundred meters, you were sure your primary school record was less than 30 meters. With your quirk you didn't need dense muscle, it required lean muscle and mostly on your back.

Manipulating the state of matter in metal wasn't really difficult, but lifting it with your mind was.

Even more, it was especially hard to keep it in its semi-liquid state while you manipulate it. Cause many people have conjuring quirks, hell probably somebody in this class had a quirk that could make things, yours was just also limited to one specific material.

It took a long time to perfect your own unique fighting style. You didn't wanna be like cementoss, or Best jeanist, although they were great heroes.

Being a carbon copy of a hero that already has existed served no joy to you, you were y/n, and that's who the world oughta know.

Was that really gonna help you now, though? What were these eight tests he was talking about?

test one: 50 meter dash

Should be easy enough, why use your quirk on something you already excelled in during school. Y/n L/n - 100 meter dash - 12.67 seconds. It couldn't be hard to half that at least, maybe even quarter it, you wouldn't use your quirk here.

You really need to stop underestimating people, in your heat, the first at that, were Tenya Iida and Tsuyu Asui. The boy was well built, muscular, tall and his legs seemed to have engines in them. He was sure not a good match to make you seem strong or fast.

The girl had long, green hair and beautiful round eyes, she seemed to have some sort of frog hybrid quirk. Probably much faster than you as well. Not really the best time to second guess yourself, you already assessed this test. No quirk. Don't waste your energy.

Ugh, but shouldn't heroes go a hundred percent all the time? God this was infuriating.

"Go"

Well, there you have it, first day and you're already overthinking. Without letting your worry get to you, you sprinted towards the speedometer hoping you wouldn't get discouraged by the fast boy in front of you. The air flowed against you, pushing your hair back. You had forgotten about the tension air creates when you run against it, but it didn't matter. As quickly as it started you heard Iida's score, the Asui's, but you knew 50 meters was easy. You knew you were fast even without your quirk, you would prove it.

"6 seconds"

"Without a quirk?"

"What even is her quirk?"

"I don't know, she wasn't in my exam."

The others after you seemed to be faster than you too, even if by seconds. However, it was helpful to learn exactly what their quirks were.

Uraraka- zero gravity

Iida- engine

Bakugou-explosion

Knowing all this made you unique compared to them, because now, you know their quirks and how they work for the most part, but only a few even can guess yours. Maybe it won't help you too much now, but in the future this knowledge will.

Test two: Grip strength

Easy, this can be done without even touching that little machine, but sure, you'd give me a show.

"Woah, you hit 500 kilograms?! You're such a beast"

The boy with extra arms seemed to do well on this, you could obviously guess why. Still, you had no fear at all in this test. What were they thinking putting an object entirely made of metal and wires in your hand? Rigged in your favor to be honest.

You took the contraption in your hand, avoiding the eyes of the few watching you to see what your quirk was. Jokes on them, cause with this test, it'd take a genius to tell. Applying a decent amount of pressure from your hand, you began to feel all of the particles in the tiny machine, moving them closer and closer together. Pushing them down with each breath out. Until the machine beeped.

12,000kg

You almost smirked at that, you technically didn't have that much plain grip strength, but the teacher said use your quirk, anything goes.

"Twelve thousand!? No way!" the yellow haired boy spoke with astonishment, not anger, but the words felt accusing,

"sorry.."

The students were left dumbfounded. However, at the mention of such a high number, todoroki began to seek out your face, he recognised the girl who had tried to speak with him earlier. Looking at the floor and avoiding the quite obvious compliments, he couldn't help but feel it wasn't out of modesty.

Test three: Standing long jump

The ring on your finger would serve well enough for this one, removing it, you liquified the metal ring until it was a non-Newtonian liquid- or a liquid that is solid under pressure. It soon multiplied until it was around a foot high line of liquid metal, then you curled it into a spring shape. Jumping straight up you landed both feet on the outer edge of the spring and flew into the air launching it with you and quickly turning it back into a tiny ring around your pinky finger.

Then apologizing again as more questions floated in.

Next was repeated side steps, then ball throws. By then, the other students had acknowledged the uncomfort you seemed to have around them, and only admired from afar.

To others the ball throw seemed like the most important test, but it didn't really feel like that to you. Despite having some restraint, you wanted to be the best in every test. Well, maybe not this one, after the gravity girl sent a ball to infinity.

Still, you held the softball, all eyes on you, not feeling so shy, considering you knew these were supposed to be your friends, you wanted them to like you, more than anything. So you would just have to woman up soon.

You tossed the ball to yourself a couple times, feeling for any metal particles, baseballs were usually full of string on the inside, maybe that would work? No, too risky for now.

Feeling pressure to hurry, you took a quick glance around, locking eyes with the boy who sits by you. He still was stone faced, but looked a little intrigued to see what you would do. Was he curious about you? He was so strong though, you'd seen it earlier. Well, best live up to expectations.

No luck with metal in the ball, but there was plenty all around you: iron in your blood. Taking your pointer fingernail, you scratched a quick cut on your opposite palm, maintaining eye contact with the boy. His stiffness faltered for a second, confused and maybe worried at your actions.

Quickly you dragged your blood out of the cut in a thin, rope-like flow, wrapped it around the ball, and took a deep breath. Then you closed your eyes, just how you taught yourself to, and imagined the blood pulling the ball into the air. Arm swung back and ready you released the image along with a throw high into the air.

Continuing to focus on where your blood would take it, you imagine not a place, but a number, and a force. Applying that force to the blood and ball, long lost in the sky, you finally sighed out and looked around, waiting for a score.

Your peers seemed confused about what had just happened, all except for the red and white haired boy, he seemed to have caught on to some extent.

"1,609 meters"

"A mile, exactly? How?"

"Your blood? That doesn't match up with everything else you've done today!" A girl with recognizably large breasts and thighs spoke, she was gorgeous. Hair tied up in a black ponytail, and even her voice sounded sophisticated.

"Uhm-"

"If you say sorry one more time i'm gonna blast you to space, ya hear me!?"

The fire boy, Bakugou screamed at you, and you would have been scared, but it actually made you feel comforted. The realization that people here were not asking for your apologies.

"Yes sir." you winked.

Why did you wink? Did you forget you weren't talking to mochi? A yellow haired boy, whose name you thought was denki turned red and fainted. You felt incredibly stupid, and flustered, and mad at yourself for slipping like that.

"AAAaaa im so sorry, pleaseforgivmeidontknowwhatiwasthinkingwinkingayoulikehatwhenyoubarelyknowmeohnopleasedonthatemenowimsorryimsorrymochiwillyellatmelater!" you screeched out, falling subject to your now loose personality.

Then you went to hide among the crowd of them, slowly shrinking in on yourself.

The next one up was the green haired boy, Deku? That's what bakugou called him, right? You didn't know you were standing next to shouto todoroki, but he sure knew he was standing next to you.

He wanted to confirm his suspicions about your quirk, and also he subconsciously wanted to know what a conversation with you would be like. You didn't seem too eccentric, or obnoxious like some of the kids here. Plus for some reason you were flustered at any and everything,and well, it was stupidly adorable.

Todoroki shouldn't be thinking these things, but he is. On the first day of school no less.

It seems, though, you weren't the star of the show today. He tore his eyes from you at the sound of your gasp. The boy who hasn't used a quirk all day had thrown the softball barely a few meters. So how did he get in? He seemed nice enough, but it sparked the question, how would someone quirkless make it to the hero course?

Or maybe he wasn't, it seemed, the teacher had nullified whatever quirk he tried to use. They were talking for quite some time, until Mr.Aizawa removed his restraint on the kids quirk and he was left to throw.

His lips pursed, deep in thought. Deku really had to get this one right. There may not be a better place to apply his gifted quirk. He really didnt wanna go home, either, so this was it.

Blinking, he thrust his hand back and before you could process what was happening an incredible force of wind flew back on you. The ball launched high into the air, a trail of pure power following it. You didn't take your eyes off that ball until it dropped. A puff of dirt flying up around it.

705.3

So you looked back to the boy, eyes wide just like everyone else, and your eyes found a bloodied purple finger. Broken in every sense of the word. Deku, though, was smiling, the brightest smile you'd ever seen. Proud. He was proud of himself. What could you be but proud of him, too?

You'd known him less than a day, spoken to him all but once, but his smile was pure. You used to smile like that when you were working out your quirk in the forest behind school. It was beautiful.

"Awesome.." you whispered through a smile clad lips.

Teeth white and shining under the sun, and todoroki heard you. Even looked down(or up) at you. He wanted to see that smile again from you, and for the love of god he couldn't tell himself why....

A/n this isn't a deku fic but I love him, and it IS his show, so- don't be surprised if i write about him like he is the most precious gorgeous blessing on earth.

[nachotrash]

EVEN MORE INCORRECT QUOTES

ft: me, my best friend (ISAMU, not osamu), and an online friendo (scarlett)

Suga: What’s your name? Tendou, whispering to Yamaguchi: Can I tell them my real name? Yamaguchi: No! Tendou: I’m… Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi, whispering to themselves: The ONE TIME they get my name right…

--------------

Scarlett: Bonjour, Suga. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi? Suga: No, I don't want to sleep with you. Scarlett: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

-------------

Tendou: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Isamu: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Iwa, watching Tendou screaming, Lev trying to set a sleeping Shiyu on fire, and Suga choking on air: I don't know either.

--------------

Shiyu: honk. Tendou: WHAT. Shiyu: HONK. Tendou: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

-------------------

Scarlett, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Scarlett, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

-------------------

Shiyu: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, ’* Scarlett: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

------------------------

Lev: Between Suga, , Tendou, and Scarlett -- if you had to -- who would you punch? Iwa: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them. Lev: Tendou? Iwa: Yeah, but I don't know why.

-------------------------

Shiyu: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Shiyu: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies. Tendou: Socks are Feetie Heaties. Yamaguchi: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties. Iwa: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies. Scarlett: Stamps are Lickie Stickies. Lev: I hate you guys so much.

-----------------

*Everyone is giving adive to Tendou* Iwa: It's okay to ask for help. Scarlett: You're not a burden. Suga: Murder is okay. Yamaguchi: Your feelings matter.

--------------------

Yamaguchi: Noya... Noya: Oh no, 'Noya' in B flat. Noya: You're disappointed.

--------------

Yamaguchi: We’re kind of missing something guys. Suga: Cohesion? Scarlett: Teamwork? Isamu: A general sense of what we’re doing? Lev: And Shiyu is not here. Suga: Oh, and that, yeah.

-------------

Scarlett: Croissants: dropped Suga: Road: works ahead Tendou: BBQ sauce: on my titties Iwa: Shavacado: fre Noya: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Isamu: Isamu: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

--------------

Lev: You don't think I can fight because of my gender! Isamu: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Scarlett can fight in that dress either. Scarlett: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride.

---------------------

Yamaguchi: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. Isamu: We could attack them with hummus. Yamaguchi: I stand corrected. Isamu: Just keeping things in perspective.

-------------------

Iwa, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles. Tendou: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake- Yamaguchi, under their breath: Don’t say Jortles. Tendou: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.

----------------------

Noya: Isamu is taking credit for Lev's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like? Tendou: You? Noya: No, I meant... You know Lev. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they’re also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Isamu is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called? Tendou: A Noya? Noya: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

----------------------

Iwa: So, did everyone learn their lesson? Tendou: No. Lev: I did not. Isamu: I may have actually forgotten one. Suga: Also no. Iwa: Oh good, neither did I. Yamaguchi: *Exhausted sigh*

----------------

Iwa: That’s illegal, right? Lev: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop? Iwa: No- Lev: Then shut the fuck up.

-----------------

Shiyu: Are you sure Isamu's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

-----------------

Isamu: What does “take out” mean? Shiyu: Food. Iwa: Dating. Yamaguchi: Murder. Suga: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

-----------------

Yamaguchi: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. Suga: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

-----------

Scarlett: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

------------

Isamu: But what about Noya? They were my SOULMATE! Yamaguchi: You said that about a ball of yarn once!

(oop- yams jelly)

----------

Suga: What time is it? Iwa: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out Iwa: *BLASTS the saxaphone* Scarlett: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING Iwa: It’s 2 am

------------

Noya: Your smile? It makes my day. Scarlett: Your happiness? I live for that. Lev: A room? Get one. Tendou: Hotel? Trivago.

(LETS GOOOOOOOOOO)

------------------

Suga, about Shiyu: They're speaking some kind of French. Lev: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

(when im speaking dutch)

-----------------

Scarlett: I give up. I am so tired. Tendou: Get the emergency supply! Shiyu: *carries Noya and places them in front of Scarlett* Noya: *smiles* Scarlett: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

-----------------

Isamu: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call? Yamaguchi: No. No, Isamu, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Isamu calls Tendou. Number five: Suga gets eaten by a shark. Suga: I’m Suga, and I approve the order of that list.

(oooo isamu and tendou---)

---------------

Isamu: From now on we will be using code names. Isamu: You can address me as Eagle One. Isamu: Scarlett is “been there done that”. Isamu: Suga is “currently doing that”. Isamu: Noya is “it happened once in a dream”. Isamu: Shiyu is “if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby”. Isamu: And Iwa is.. Isamu: Eagle Two Iwa: Oh thank god.

-----------

Iwa: *points at Lev* A human turtleneck, *points at Suga* a narcissistic monster, *points at Yamaguchi* and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met. Yamaguchi: And who am I? Describe me now.

-----------------

Yamaguchi: Fight me! Shiyu, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

--------------------

Iwa: Isamu... How do I begin to explain Isamu? Shiyu: Isamu is flawless. Noya: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000. Tendou: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan. Lev: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

(ok but like, they aint wrong tho. also samu punches lev in the face the whole time)

------------------

Lev: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Isamu: Yes. Lev: I love you. Isamu: It back. *Later* Scarlett: Why is Lev crying face-down on the floor?

(cuz he tried to bond with his cousin but failed)

-------------------

Iwa: Suga is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life! Yamaguchi: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!

(fanon suga vs canon suga)

--------------------

Shiyu, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Scarlett: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

-------------------

Iwa: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Iwa: Violently practices. Shiyu: Violently studies. Scarlett: Violently sleeps. Tendou: Violently shoots pictures. Isamu: Violently boxes. Noya: Violently murders people. Scarlett: Violently worries about the previous statement.

--------------

Noya: You know, when Iwa comes over, Suga can get a little… Tendou: Psycho? Shiyu: Scary? Scarlett: Drunk? Noya: All three.

----------------

Shiyu: Love makes people do stupid things. Yamaguchi: I love everything! Shiyu: That explains a lot.

[hegglespeggles]

How to write an essay you could not care less about in 10 steps

Hello. I have an essay to write.

I am also, (unfortunately) the kind of lazy, apathetic burnout who will only do my FUCKING work if I get really worked up. Usually that ends up meaning all of my papers are spite-fuelled tirades but my profs seem to like them so fine. I hope you find this particular raging tirade useful.

Today, I would like to educate the 4 of you that will actually see this on a fine art I have perfected over the years. Writing a paper, about which, you do not give a single, solitary, crumb of a fuck about. This is (you may have guessed) and excellent way for me to procrastinate doing a paper that *I* do not give a single solitary crumb of a fuck about. For best results, I recommend doing this NIGHT-BEFORE-PANIC like, a week in advance so you can fix all the NONSENSE that your more reasonable brain will undoubtedly find. But if it��s the night before and you are shit outta luck, this will get ‘er done. And with practice, you can even pull good grades outta these bitches.

 Dissociating? I gotchu. Woke up the day of the deadline to feel like absolute utter garbage? Search no more friends.  

  FAILING GRADES ARE BETTER THAN ZEROS JUST FUCKIN DOOOOOO ITTTT

1.    Go get the prompt.

I fucking mean it. Even if you are like 1000% sure you know what the prompt is asking, go to the FUCKING assignment, and copy that shit into your word document. Got the assignment on paper? TYPE THAT SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKER.

(Do you see what I fucking have to deal with)

Boom?

BOOM.

Congratulations, you now have a document, and whats more, there are WORDS in it!! You aren’t starting from scratch anymore kiddo. Fringe benefit, you always know EXACTLY what the assignment wants because its fucking Staring You Down. Not saying you have to do exactly as it says, mama didn’t raise no BITCH and I aint scared of fuckin CALLING PROFS OUT but if you wanna break the rules you gotta know what they are first

(Disclaimer: I have also been kicked out of class on numerous occasions for fighting with the prof and had full classes where the lecture WAS me arguing so maybe take my opinions of conformity with a grain of salt.)

2.    Math THE FIRST

I know, this is an essay and not a fucking calculus test. But some of this shit is USEFUL OKAY

Take the paper in question. How long does it have to be? Mine is 5 pages. A page is generally accepted to be 250 words (double spaced because we FUCKING LOVE OURSELVES) so 5 x 250 = 1250 wds. That’s the goal. That’s the pinnacle. That’s your new holy grail.

Time to split this bitch up

  3.    Yarrrrrr, CONTENT

And finally, we get to the part that is the reason why you are being an absolute bitch baby about this essay (maybe. I might be projecting. Your life is your life and im sure youre doing your best.) I Hate this part, but now with our magic number we don’t need to pull 5 pages out of the ether.

This part really requires you to know your vibe. Is this something that you have a lot of little opinions (read: evidence) about or like, only 2 or 3 big bois? Look deep into your soul and figure out which is the easiest for you to shit out, a rant or a list. a  great way to do this is to WRITE ANYTHING YOU GOT OUT

Here you can see I’ve put all of the thoughts I have about the question into a list, slapped some standard “opening” and “closing” shit around it so I can FUCKING FIND IT AGAIN and given it a good hard look. Whats the common thread in all of my opinions? That the prompt is fucking stupid and makes no sense is asking 2 different questions. Congratulations: you found your thesis. This essay, like many of my essays, bears the thesis “this is a weird question to be asking” (which falls under my broader category of “bitches aint shit” essays.)

Congratulations you have the bare bones of your skeleton.

  4.    MATH THE SECOND

 The magic number returns. All hail our glorious leader. 1250 right?

So heres how I break this down. Break off a small chunk at the beginning. For this essay im gonna split off the 250. Split that baby in half. Congratulations, now you have a word count on your opening and closing. Personally, I know I like a lil extra space at the end to get all ranty, so Imma split this puppy up 100 for my opening and 150 for the closing. WARNING: You will think that you will be able to write enough in your opening and closing to take up lots of space. You will feel the urge to give them both the same amount of words that you give your points. This is misguided and foolish. Not only will you 1) not be able to do it but 2) even if you did, that’s like getting a sandwich which is all bread. No one wants that. Don’t be that dude. Fight the urge.

 RIGHT SO. We’re still left on the other 1000 words.

If you have an idea that like, is bigger than the others, go ahead and give that puppy more of the word count than the others, fractions are your friend here and you wanna think about how much of your final product each of these babies will be. If you, like me, are an utter buffoon with no clue what youre doing, open your calculator up. Divide the remaining word count by the number of points you have. Congratulations. Youre doing the essaying.

If this is enough to get you started, GREAT! See you at step seven. BEFORE YOU GO I would like to give you this tip

5.    CITE YOUR INFORMATION AS YOU ADD IT IN.

It doesn’t need to be a full citation, just literally a footnote with something that will help you remember where its from and for the love of god WHAT PAGE IT IS ON. The you of 3 hours from now will thank you.

  6.    Filling in the skeleton

 I don’t know about you, but I cant exactly riff off of a single sentence. Like, I know what the VIBE of my point is, but like, I cant pull it out of a hat. The name of the game here is whittling down your arguments into thinner and thinner chunks that are easier and easier to bullshit. This is how you avoid that “burning building found in flames during Brooklyn fire” bullshit that memes. You don’t wanna meme. You wanna pass. So, figure out what the things you are gonna say and in each bit, keep track of how many words you are gonna write. EITHER

a)      You put how many words you think you can write on any point beside the point as you go and just keep developing points and shuffling word counts around until it matches the total for that section

or

b)     You evenly breakup the word count between all the points and keep breaking them down until you look at a subject and a word count and go “yeah that’s doable. I can do that.”

I prefer the second so LEGGO.

Ta-Da!

7.    Write ‘er up

Ahhh glad to see we’re all back together again. Try-hards who can ACTUALLY bullshit papers, glad to see you’ve rejoined us! This is the part where you take all that shit you’ve broken up into nice little chunks and you turn it into something worth reading. You can do it. I believe in you. Try and keep your citations in place.

I like to do this as a question answer thingy, like an exam, so halfway through writing mine is gonna look like this

 The handy part about the numbers is that it gives you a frame of reference for how your bullshit is going. Realized you had a lot more to say here than you thought? Dope! Less bullshit somewhere else, take it out of a weaker point. This point didn’t give as much as you thought it would? Split the difference elsewhere! This way you have checkpoints and you can see how your essay is going

And then you can go ahead and delete your skeleton work. Its time. Its served you well. For extra drama, whisper menacing nothings to it as you send it into the darkness. Personal favourites include “no one will mourn you,” “your fate belongs to me,” and “so this is what you have come to”

  8.    Citations

Theres like a million ways out there to find out how to do your citations and its gonna depend on what kind of a paper you are writing. I use Chicago most of the time, including here. My advice? Use a site like, bib.me or something to do your bibliography, and then plaster that in the bottom of your document. Use that as the building blocks to do your footnotes. Let Purdue Owl be your guide. Purdue Owl Style Guide Is A Mighty Friend Indeed.

 Also your welcome for that, “putting the page numbers in as you put the info in” shit. That took me alarmingly long to figure out. It’s a wonder theyre giving me a degree.

  9.    Proofread that shit, ya bougie bitch.

If you wanna be time effective, getting a friend to proofread while you do your citations is a great way to go. If you have a few days, put your paper away and come back to it. If you are out of friends and time then https://www.paperrater.com/ is your last hope.

  10.       Slap a title page on that shit and GET IT SUBMITTED

 No joke, I have been using the same template for a coverpage all through highschool and my undergrad. There is only one title page and every time I write an essay I take the title page from the last paper I wrote. There is no beginning. Only title page. Title? Topic of paper: point of paper. For example, If I had to title this screed I’d call it Essay Writing: An exploration of mediocrity. slap the date and your name and the course and instructor on there and BAM. YA DONE.

 Anyway submit that shit an go to bed youre done goodnight

EPILOGUE

I’ve gotten this essay back, and when I wrote it, I was barely a human being. Barely capable of human speech let alone a coherent argument. I would forget the end of the sentence by the time I typed out the beginning. But I still for a 70%! is it the best mark I’ve ever gotten? no! but it is a hell of a lot better than the 0% I would have gotten if i hadnt done this. I get it. And i hope this helps. 

[sunnysidewrites]

Brother!Taeyang

Requested by anon: Hello (: could you write a brother!au Taeyang scenario? :)) 

holy hell guys not only have i not written in so long but it’s an sf9 piece too!!! :ooo!!!! i hope yall like it!!!! AND YES I KNOW THIS REQUEST IS ALMOST A YEAR OLD DLSJFL IM SO SORRY BUT YAY ITS HERE!!!! ENJOY MY KIDZ also pls forgive me its been way too long since i wrote smth so its not as high quality or long :’(((

warnings: a lot of soft. a lot. like a lot a lot. i want a bro tae :(

UGH BRO TAE IS SO LKSDJFLJDSF!!!!!!

He’s such an affectionate person, so just imagine how much love he would smother you with

Especially as an older bro?? I mean come on

Definitely the type to spoil you every chance he can get

No like,,,, he really invented spoiling

He works at the local cafe and every time he gets his paycheck, his first thought is what to reward you with for never complaining about your financial hardships

“Tae stop buying me stuff with your money!! Go treat yourself out for once!!”

“Aw you’re so cute, Y/N. Now, do you want the special cake of the day or the donuts?”

Jesus he’s so soft i wanna cry

He would go to the ends of the world just to have you smiling all the time :’(((

This boy knows no limits, I’m telling you smh

Will probably embarrass you in front of your friends LOL

Also the one your friends always gush over

And you’re like “ok i mean i know he’s good looking but he’s also my brother?? Can yall not???”

Unfortunately, you’ve had your fair share (which is putting it extremely lightly) of Phakes who use you to get closer to tae

One second you think you’re hitting it off when you’re talking about the latest single of your favorite artist and then the next you have to walk away after they ask you for the address of his workplace

It gets real tiring

And ofc, taeyang knows about this and he blames himself for it, especially when you never show any signs of complaints or other giveaways

You remain silent about it and he’s just like !!!!! :(((!!!!!!!!

So every time you ask him why he never treats himself out, he can’t help but think about how you never want him to worry about you

Because it’s so challenging finding a real friend, he always invites you to hang out with him and his group every day

You don’t mind at all though since his friends are wild but cool to be around with!!

[Insert promotion: STAN TALENT STAN SF9]

[they’re also a bunch of dorks. Stupid idiots. Loud and rambunctious. Talented and -- wait, what were we talking about again]

He’s always by your side and casually has his arm slung around your shoulders (it comes from his overprotective nature)

You can BET that whenever any one of his friends tries to talk to you one-on-one, tae’s face darkens just a smidgen

“Hey, Y/N, there’s this cool bakery that opened last week, wanna go--”

“Rowoon, don’t you have some,,, trees to compare yourself to?”

“Why do you never make any sense????”

Tae is always with you sO FREAKING MUCH to the point that if y’all weren’t related, you would surely be mistaken as a couple

Actually, it still happens even as his sibling smh

The amount of times your peers have gone up to you and asked whether you were dating tae and you’re like uM GAG HE’S MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

Them: oh thANK GOD. anyways what’s his phone number lol

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh so you’re just much better off with the sf9 dudez

It also kinda Sucks since you’re tae’s sibling, tae has made it crystal clear you are Off Limits

“That means you, Dawon.”

“I didn’t even dO aNYThiNG?”

“Your jaw is gonna drop to the floor if you open it any further. dOnT tEsT mE”

You have to admit his friends are reallyyyy cute but sadly tae will kill them, and possibly you as well, if yall date rip

But in this au let’s say you do end up with one of them

Crank up that fatherly overprotectiveness by 92743972493

“I expect Y/N to be at home by 8. I know it must be hard for you, but please be a gentleman. You break Y/N’s heart, I break your bones, got it? If I find out about any assault you conducted, i wiLL RIP YOU TO SHR--”

“okAY WE’LL BE GOING OFF NOW BYEEEE LOVE YA”

He only wants the best and you know that better than anyone

He’s alllwaaaayyysss there for you, regardless of what he’s doing

He was once in the middle of a crazy, hectic shift at the cafe but he immediately dropped it when he found out you were crying over another crazed Tae Fan who turned their back on you (but obviously you didn’t tell him about the latter)

He could pick up that the situation was related to him every time you used the excuse of “failing a test” because you’re near the top of the class so he knew it was a lie

But he never pried it out of you bc he knows you tell him everything you wanna tell him

A lot of your hangouts with him involve dance games or anything that makes you active, but they could be as lax as sightseeing in the city

You’re always laughing when you’re with him and there’s tons of skinship

Your arms are around his waist or looped with his other arm

He loves holding you close to him bc he wants to protect you like the older bro he is

You’re not complaining though but who would lmao

Now, you know he’s good looking so you always take candids of him

Your favorite ones are the moment when he turns around and looks at you in surprise with a smile on his face and the second right after when you catch him in mid-laugh

Sometimes he takes you out to the dance studio he practically lives in and you get to see what the newest number he’s working on is

He never fails to blow you away and you can’t help but feel overwhelmingly proud of his talent and efforts

Occasionally, he would play a random dance song and you would stumble over your feet and laugh as you both spin around and have fun

Whatever you do, it’s a moment you both cherish

You really could not have asked for a better brother :’(((

[calvinlepesh]

Interpret how u please but know it saved my mind and soul.

SUMMARYWe have primitive speech in comparison to aliens/ superior being/s/ {Our God self]DONT FUCKING READ THIS IF U ARENT OPEN MINDED! DEADASS FUCKING SERIOUS UR GONNA MISS OUT.to become open minded you must have some form of empathy. Some form meaning you must have to have either the almost perfect understanding empathy based on your ability to place yourself in somebody elses position along with all of their past tramas, what they just fucking ate, basically whatever relevant to the situation apparent or not. I.E do I help this guy for gas hes asking the clerk hes begging he says hes got no money has to get home to his family. seems like a good dude. not making a fuss. being very nice about it. I paid for his fucking gas. Thats good energy right there. sent away and returned in ways that probably already occured but I don't reconize them as a direct result from helping. If you did what you thought was right or whatever you wanted to do actually. Which is what you're going to do anyways cause thats what you fucking decieded you wanted yourself to do. So if this doesn't hit you like it hits most people and myself included. Then just close the book and call me insane. If being insane is living content in my beliefs and my tommorow during the today but with passion for the future. then im fucking insane. Because thats what my program has done for me Truly search for good and if it isn't what you want to spend your time trying to help or doesnt concern you. You weren't meant to be concerened by it and thats okay because it will concern someone else at the right time. etc considered and making a choice based off of critical information secured from a display of empathy. If you cant show empathy practice please fucking practice before you continue reading. Actually idgaf you do you. Your life do what you desire.Speech is used to manifest things into reality of time. Typically faster if done consistently. Tested and proved. By many. My barber for example. little over 7 months ago living in a 1 bed room dumb girlfriend cat and hes cutting hair in his kitchen. The entire time throughout the year  hes telling me about this house hes getting his own very first house brand fucking new completely taylored to him. He told me saying Lep yeah my mom is helping me buy a house and get my career moving finally. After long periods of being told to basically fuck off his mom basically has a change of heart randomly. Hes got a 3 bedroom house. A barber room with checkered floot. 3 tvs niceass fucking interior furniture hes painting the house and has done many renovations over the last few months of him having this house. Just returning there earlier tonight actually I had walked in and had to check if he changed the paint in his front room again! Truly He doesn't even realize it completely. Hes almost so dumb hes smart. in a sense that being happy is being smart. He isn't stupid tho. My barber is on some of the same shit I am. Some. thats a different story tho. The point is he talked to me everytime he cut my hair for 6 month. Not just me I know for certain. He would talk motherfuckers ears off im sure they hated it. Honestly I hadn't been enlightened at this point. I fucking hated it. OMg yeah we fucking get it bro u want checkered floors. So many motherfuckers are talking nowadays. But do they always talk the same shiteveryday? Ill say it again. Do you talk about the same thing everysingle day? Do you talk to someone every single day? I don' t even have to ask what or why you do it. You're doing it because you have the desire of the company of that person. or their opinion, Whatever they have of value or beneficially or mutually beneficially to you or both. My barber talked about all the cool shit he was gonna do with his house. Having a pit bike track in the back. making a fire bit. building a deck. Making a TV back drop out of stained wood stained nailed and cut by him and I. Painted the entire house. CHECKERED FLOORS MOTHERFUCKERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is MANIFEST IT IN YOUR LIFE. The sooner you start talking about and creating this lifestyle and figuring out how you're going to do it one day at a time. Talk to the person ur nervous to talk to. If they fall in love with you. THATS FUCKING KICKASS. if he thinks u dont belong in his universe right now understand thats a huge fucking positive in your life. Now you can live in this moment in time and know in this moment in time that it isn't happening because if it isn't meant to happen yet if at all. For all you know you could meet  him in 5 years and get married have 3 kids live happily ever after. Straight the fuck up! Right now im consistently talking to a girl i had the hugest crush on but never did anything about it. WHY DIDN'T I DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. CAUSE HOW FUCKING AWKWARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN in minnesota when im visiiting and havent been home for christmas in 5 years that we just so happen to go get breakfest at a taveren like wtf? and its where she works serving. Top it off while we are walking in I see the sign of the place and reconize it from an instagram post that she posted and I had liked and inturn she liked my picture. whatever not important. all im trying to say is the future is 100% unpredictable in every sense. but at the same time it will be 100% guarenteed with my mindset program if applied properly. You never know tomorrow and that may scare you but what if you already had chosen what happens tomorrow long before anything existed? Do you trust your own judgement? The best part is you dont even have to trust your own judgement. YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT TO DO. But sometimes doing them is what you're meant to do typically for your benefit anyways, if not its a punishment, and if it isn't your benefit its somebody elses and they may or may not know that you're the direct cause. you may or may not know ever. But I believe that when we die we are enlightened and are shown the purpose to life. whether a test or a simulation. multiple tests inside one another or something uncomprehensible to myself or anyone. But thats different. What I do know is that a key to a good life Is a good mindset. Choose the mindset of I'm the shit. Cause I am, Cause I decieded I am, Im good fucking looking, People may call you a slut or whore but honestly it may be disgusting a little bit but they're probably jealous of all the hot people you've been with. Or even the fact ur getting laid. most single people hate on girls anyway. aint no boy in a nice healthy relationship talking shit on females and if he is he probably likes u and is trying to hide it. anyways besides the point. You need to develop something you say to yourself {I recommend} outloud {especially for getting started} whether written or set as an alarm for your phone ur background to your phone it could be a picture with a completely hidden message behind it. just associate something or have something that has things you know deep down in your soul you need to say to yourself. For example for me, Ive always been sensitive, still am a lot less than I was alot, But over time After being outcasted from my family at 15 being legally kiddnapped, and broken down on all aspects of self with many failed although maybe not completely failed attempts at bettering myself to the way that works for normies or the purposefully chosen people to be uneducated of the power of speech. They were esentially taking me in at 15 with a metaphorical emotionally broken leg. { ie i hate myself and im a bad person i dont give a fuck and i just want to die cause i dont understand the world} that was my attitude ie the broken metaphorical leg that I came into the school but for the sake of this metaphor this hospital with. However pretend in our metaphor the break in my leg is un noticeable. if ur slow as fuck just know the broken leg is a metaphor for my fucked up thinking. The hospitol or treatment center/school I was at cant fix my leg without me telling them my leg is broken. Now they knew something is wrong or else I wouldnt be there. Many claim at that hospital upon recent arrival that there's been a mistake and they don't need to be there. many times I laughed with everyone else at group along with the director Parker. Parker I believe knows alot about this but would never share with the group for possiblities of the kids claiming they're being brain washed or told to believe such things without an adult or atleast enlightened soul and mind these practices may sound slightly lucritive. Anyway back to the story. Metaphorically I tried many times to dodge and weave around questions asked in therapy sometimes even hamming it up to seem cool because of how insecure I was. trying to seek acceptance from my therapist lmfao very dark times. Which got darker with small light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the thing about parker he never took away full hope and if he did he had a good reason for doing so. I completely trust his judgement even to this day. Lying to ur therapist or even if they think you're lying to your therapist which usually they're right. The only reason they were ever wrong with me lying was because the decision was made based on previous situations of past lies. Lied before you'll lie again? possibly. Anyway, the darkness brought upon u metaphorically and almost not was the wall/work crew. ADAYONTHEWALL In a way this is tramatic but it almost shouldnt be. It was trautic because I put myself there many times. Purposefully yes in a sense but not the living sense. I wanted to be the perfect student at Liahona. Be the leader everyone looked up to. Be the family fucking leader. But I literally just was to immature and weak in all aspects. Too much so to do any of those things. Now that I think back the beauty of it Is I did eventually get all of those things. Because I manifested them. I desired both with my words and the vibes my words created in my body that the universe recieved. My body had translated what I wrote in my daily evals every night at Liahona. I attended Liahona for 711 days. 9 Days short from 2 years. The program is 9 months long. Back to the main subject. The wall. 6 am wake the fuck up. HEADCOUUUUUNT!!!. Big ass motherfucking dude named Quando shouts it at the top of his lungs. LMFAO pretty funny to think but this guy would scare the shit out of new kids in the mornings. shouting out of their beds. I definitely woke up thats for sure. The whole facility of 50-60 boys come out of there room pretty much as fast as possible although groggily everyone dressed in the same navy blue shorts and grey liahona t-shit tucked into our gym shorts with either white black or grey solid socks. No designs or wild shit. All the rules at Liahona were created over the years it had transitioned from an old house to the facility to the newer facility. Everything from tuck in ur chair at all times to. turn off the lights when you leave a room. Hundred of rules probably around over a thousand actually. I hated it off the bat but what was I gonna do? anyway. After everyone lines up in a U- formation with quando standing in the open portion of the U. He would say the same things every morning. Almost as if he was designed to say the same or relatively the same thing. One thing was for sure the message was clear every morning. Go back to your rooms  Today is a new day its a beautiful day make your beds and start studying your quote or doing whatever you're aloud to do until you go for the morning run and breakfest. Now quado probably used a great deal more broken english being from the pacific islands one of em sorry dont actually know. anyways. we dismiss. or atleast. everybody else does. perusual here I am. I sit down in my LIFETIME costco chair sitting mere inches from the head of my twin mattress. I will now sit in this chair for the remainder of the day unless instructed or allowed otherwise. 6-7 morning shift arrives. Can't look away. I think to myself staring at the wall. The desire to look is bad but even the thought of having to write another 300 word essay although they've become easy now, pointless to get one for something so easily avoidable. putting my elbows on my knees I duck my head do as If to pretend im studying the quote (a passage of around 100 words- alot of fucking words that must be memorized in full word for word straight the fuck up and recited to either a very trusted upper level or staff member who will tell you when you mess up and must stop and either use one of 2 hints allowed by parker to figure out whatever word u forgot or fail and take a 300 word essay, However if the quote is failed to be passed off before friday then your points for that week will be cut into half basically prolonging your stay to an extent given points are used to determine not in full but definitely play a large part in even the opportunity of you being recommended to get your next level Ie the quote is very important, very difficult, and I fucking hated it so fucking much you have no idea, Fuck the fucking stupid fucking quote. Parker is smart for the fact that he knows theres got to be something that seems and may possibly be a punishment that is time consuming and benefits those who work harder and faster destroying room for socialism. Basically parker created the quote to see who the fuck is really trying and how hard. Based on when you pass off the quote, If you pass off the quote, and how long of the quote is and whats in the quote. Parker can determine your loyalty to the program and therefore your recovery) Sitting in my chair and ducking my head between my armpits I can finally look around in a small area on each side of my body without getting too ballsy. This is my entertainment for the remainder of the day. Besides playing with my hand/feet. Tapping my feet/hand. looking at the US map{ and sometimes if they put u on the other wall or farther down you got the south america map. To this day can name the south american countries for the most part in alphabetical order. Crazylol. I can do the states right now. anyways. } Eating Oats and water with 2 of the gnarliest fucking red delicious apples every fucking morning. YO WHERE DID U FIND THOSE FUCKING APPLES MARK AND WHOEVER THE FUCK SHOPPED? jesus christ. Still don't eat red delicious apples THERE NOT FUCKING delicious. liars anyway. Before that when morning shift arrives typically shortly after if not immediately after their arrival we do another headcount. Of course yelled much less.... whats the word.... manly lol. Derek had the lamest headcount call. His unenthusiastic Severous snape from harry potter like almost moan like noise. anyways fuck u derek. Derek would take us to get our shoes, at both the new and old facility there are shoe closets that contain every students single pair of running shoes. The new facility also has our never to be touched til we leave or go on a visit personal items. After getting our shoes on. We went outside. line up on the concrete basket ball court in 5 lines spanning accross the entire court each student assigned to a 'family' upon arrival in no paticular order I hope but idk. Usually it was the one with the lowest amount of students but some family leaders would try to boost by trying to speak with newer students asap and within the rules. Communication of any kind with any student not directly monitored without being directly told otherwise is strictly forbidden. No form of communication head bobs nods winks smiles smirks laughs even eye contact for long periods of time. Although of course these rules were broken many times over the course of my stay. I definitely stopped talking to kids. Literally it taught me and im kinda glad it did it taught me to not ask my peers but elder people with wisdom and knowledge for help. However in therapy groups they allow us to communicate freely with the presnence of the therapist who was 1 of two therapists. However he would quickly correct any advice given from a student to a student to not only teach us the correct way to solve whatever issue being discussed  or shared. but almost in a way indirectly teaching you that experience and age are similar but not the same and to seek those that give the best advice and help the most which tend to be the people u want anyways. I did learn many many many many useful things that I still use today from Liahona. Because of going im now 1000x ahead of an average person my age. Given my experiences and newly found and enlightened self. Given to me when I was ready to give it to myself. When I learned I control this reality with how I feel. And I tend to feel how I talk. Because my talk conveys my emotion. Talk good feel good do good deserve good. Lined up on the basketball court right my bad Im side tracked for the millionth time. gimme a break lol anyways. We line up in  5 columns of anywhere from 10 to 13 students typically ten atleast. 50 jumping jacks Go!" 1..2..3..4..5..6..7- ......49..50.  50 laps chop it up. At 8 laps a mile  50 laps was common but not that common. For awhile it was daily. All of our days depended on how all of us acted as a whole. If one person tried to run and doesnt succeed obvisouly never have never will. Everybody goes on lock down. No talking no moving everybody sits  in a circle. study a gigantic quote for that week cause homeboy tried running. or whatever the case is. Basically if you dont pull your weight somebody else has to and that weight is only their cause you are inturn now they hate u lol. Definitely was unlike for a vast majority by the vast majority however luckily in the end all works out as does all things in this universe in my world or currently my world.story sorry again 50 pushups now in unicen aswell 123-49-50 Then he tells us to go run and sometimes he'll tell u how many laps and sometimes hed tell u when you get to his standing spot at the finish line after your first lap. He does this to guage how and when certain students put in more effort. Shorter run? more harder runners? longer run? Whos putting in effort regardless of circumstance ie whats going on in ur life. Ie how many laps you got How are you moving before you know what your next move is. Are you jogging that first lap until derek tells you to save your breath cause you're banking on it being a longer run. Have you been running slow for 3 laps but the run was only 8 today so ur wasting ur time being lazy. Derek would see when you would run hard. who made u run harder cause u wanted to beat them. how many laps does it have to be minimum to run on the first lap. Whos running hard the first lap regardless of circumstance. They could tell who you were and what you could offer before you even knew anything about any of that. Because honestly you didnt give a fuck about trying before. atleast I didn't. I soon did. Over those 711 days I ran 95 percent of the week day mornings. was in niceass shape too for 17. weekends we got off thankf uckign god. After the blisters heal and you get calices on ur feet from running in the beginning being a new student it sucks alot don't get me wrong and it'll suck for awhile but you'll eventually learn to adapt and conquer by anymeans. I quit after 6 laps my first run. Not even a mile. sat down said I needed my inhaler. I didn't even have one.

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)