#anyway getting back-to-back stomach bugs because your blood is missing some important stuff

[bougiebutchbitch]

the fun thing about my particular immune deficiency is that you get very familiar with the sensation of puking/crapping yourself to the point where it hurts to breathe for weeks after

anyhoo, this is why I cling to any character with canonical tummy issues lmao

[kayrogers]

to all the girls i've loved before ][ p.  parker

a tatbilb au

Paring(s): LJ!tom holland x PK!reader

Inspo: TATBILB cause Peter is a total soft boi and also I'm a slut for rom-coms

Word Count: 1700+

Warning(s): cursing and awkward kissing

Part: prologue | part ??

A/N: this has literally been a draft in my notes for like over a year, but college has been creatively hitting me in the stomach with a baseball bat so I only wanted to start it when I got a semi-break. Obvs updates will not be regular just like everything else I write because I am the worst, but I mean thanks in advance if ya read it!

‘ Dear [Y/n] [Y/l/n],

First of all, I refuse to call you [Y/l/n]. You think you’re so cool, going by your last name all the sudden. Just so you know, that only makes you one of the guys. That’s it.

Did you know that I didn’t stop thinking about our kiss every time I saw you in school for at least the rest of seventh grade? Sometimes I think you do. Because you always seem to know everything. And you always smile when you see me blushing like you know you’re the reason why. That’s what I hate about you. Because you do just know, or at least you act like it. You’re too cool to be bothered by anything, or be wrong EVER.

Well here are some things you don’t know that I think:

You swear all the time and say the grossest things. I’ve heard every dirty joke Flash has ever made, and you beat him without trying! And you just assume everyone will think it’s cute cause you’re a pretty girl and you curse. And if they don’t, who cares, right? Wrong! You care. You care a lot about what people think of you.

You always show us bugs you think are cool and it’s gross. That’s terrifying and I hate when you stick them in my face cause I’m grossed out. It’s rude.

You’re so good at everything. Too good. I have to try harder around the guys to be half as cool as you.

You kissed me for no reason! You knew Flash wanted to kiss you. Everyone knew that Flash wanted to kiss you. He made all of us spit-shake on not kissing you if we ended up in the closet for 7 minutes in heaven because he liked you. But you still did it. Why? I wanted my first kiss to be special, and with my future girlfriend. All romantic, you know? That’s what it was supposed to be. And it wasn’t any of that. Thanks to you it was the most un-special kiss it could be AND I got my ass kicked by Flash!

The stupidest part is, that kiss made me like you. I never did before. Didn’t think of you as anything but one of the guys. Flash has always said you’re the prettiest girl we know. And yeah, that’s true. But I still didn’t LIKE you. Missed the hook that every other guy was on in middle school. A lot of people are beautiful. Doesn’t make them interesting or intriguing or cool.

Is that why you kissed me? Cause I was the only one who wasn’t wrapped around your finger? Well it worked! Ever since then, I saw you. I mean really looked at you. Behind every scratch, bump, and bruise from whatever sport you were playing, I saw you. How you weren’t just beautiful, that word isn’t good enough. You just exist effortlessly.

And yes, I did go through the thesaurus for that adjective. You’re hard to describe, [Y/n].

After you kissed me, I liked you for the rest of seventh grade and almost all of eighth. It’s not easy watching you with Flash. It’s also not easy when he shoves it in my face all the time cause he doesn’t like me anymore. So thanks for that! But I get it, if I had you I wouldn’t be able to shut up about you either. You make him feel special. Because that’s what you do, right? You’re good at making people feel special.

But not me anymore. I haven’t really seen you over the past year. And any time I do, you’re with Flash. Your spell has worn off [Y/n] [Y/l/n]. I am proud to say that I am once again the only boy in school to not be hooked into you. All because I got too much of you at once and now I don’t think I’ll want to be under that spell ever again.

What a relief!

Peter Benjamin Parker ’

You felt your brows furrow, cheeks equally red from a shyness you hadn’t felt in years and slight anger. Clearly he wrote this years ago, but why send it now? Right after Flash cheated on you?!

Did he like you? Did he hate you? Why did you care? It was just Peter-fucking-Parker.

You purse your lip, placing the letter back on the desk. Your blood boiled, heart skipping a beat. Every single reaction in your body was opposing and you hated how much it affected you.

So what would be the best course of action? To act like it didn’t effect you at all. At least, that’s what you saw as the right decision. It’d be easy, just let Parker down and tell him you didn’t feel the same. Because maybe that’s what this was? Maybe Peter did fall back “under your spell” and now that you were finally single he had to tell you? That was the only idea which came to your mind anyways.

You looked over at your closet, eyes focusing on your favorite shirt. It was a white crew neck sweater decorated in the entomology of beetles, and you decided you would be wearing that to turn him down.

“Don’t like my bugs? Yeah okay, Dickhead.” You muttered and pulled the item out before forming the rest of the outfit which consisted of running shorts and sneakers. Classy, right?

You took a picture of the letter before folding it back up and placing it into the envelope. Why? Well not that you’d admit it, but you were never complimented like that before. And that part of the letter made you feel kinda nice actually. He paid attention to you back then, which could have been sweet once upon a time. Now? Now you didn’t know how to feel about it and that bothered you immensely. 

Later, in school, You mulled over how you would confront the boy. It was weird, really weird. You and Peter hadn’t really talked since middle school and the most the two of you interacted in high school was you apologizing for Flash being a dick to him about 24/7. And now he was apparently infatuated with you once and you had to tell him that you didn’t feel the same. But as the clock ticked on, you knew you had at least one class with him and that was gym.

 You anxiously gripped the letter in your hand, jogging along the track and looking for a familiar set of brown curls. It didn’t take long for you to catch up with him, spotting Peter and Ned half-walking the whole thing while the gym teacher wasn’t looking.

“Yo Parker! Wait up a second.” You called and his head whipped around, his eyes instantly going to your sweater.

‘Do bugs really bother him that much?’ You thought and held back a frown before shrugging it off. There were more important matters.

“Nice shirt! Is it accurate?” Ned instantly chirped up and you let yourself smirk, he always had such an excited demeanor in a way that could light up a room if anyone bothered to notice him.

“You think you’d catch me wearing pseudoscience? What the hell do you take me for?” That smirk grew into a smile as you spoke to Ned, not noticing the pale color staining Peter’s face. Because while you were focused on Ned, Peter was focused on you. 

Specifically, the letter in your hand.

“You’re right, I apologize. What brings you over here anyways? You usually lap us twice by now.” You looked over to Peter while Ned talked, watching how he was unable to even look up from your hand.

“I wanted to talk to Peter, actually…  alone?” You scratched the back of your neck while Ned let out a big ‘ohh’ and quickly made himself scarce.

The boy looked more nervous than you had ever seen him, running his hands through his hair so much that every knot could have been plucked out by now. 

“What um- what’s up, [Y/n]?”

 “Listen, I’m gonna make this quick to save both of us the awkwardness. I think it’s really nice that you think I’m one of the prettiest girls in our grade and stuff… but me and Flash just broke up and I really don’t see you that way-”

The only thing you heard from him was an exasperated ‘what?’ before practically watching the boy fall in slow motion. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and you gasped out loud when his head hit the ground.

“Oh my god, Peter!” Dropping to the ground after him, you immediately move his hair from his eyes and wave your hand in front of his face.

“Are you okay? Parker? Do you know your name? What day is it?” You gave a choppy version of the concussion questions your coaches asked after a particularly bad hit to the head, panic evident in your eyes.

‘Did I just concuss this kid?!’ you thought wildly.

Slowly, he sat up, taking a couple breaths while you kept your hand on his shoulder. “You weren’t supposed to see that,” he said exasperated and you watched his eyes grow twice their size as he glanced to his left.

Storming towards the two of you was a recognizable scowl, an envelope in her hand. Michelle Jones. She was MJ to you, once upon a time, but you couldn’t think of the last time the two of you said a word to each other.

“Oh god!” Peter rolled his eyes, grabbing your attention yet again.

In a blink, the boy had managed to grab your waist and pin you underneath him, one hand was gently caressing your head while the other wrapped underneath you. You couldn’t even take a breath before his lips were on yours, surprise flooding your system. His lips were soft and you hadn’t even realized how your body instantly reacted to him as if you had done this a thousand times before, kissing him in a quick but simple rhythm. But once your brain did register it? You grabbed his face, separating the two of you.

“Parker, the fuck?!-”

“Bye!” He blurted out before letting go of you and running off at a speed you didn’t even think was possible for him.

So this left you, alone, confused, and strangely breathless on the ground.

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taglist(s):

tatgilb -

permanent - 

@ultrunning​ @jesseswartzwelder​

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: Nope. I didn’t say any curse words as a kid for one, but also I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t have done that if I did. They would have just talked to me about it and tell me not to say them. I personally don’t like the soap punishment, I think it’s dumb. I’ve heard of some parents who use hot sauce instead, which is just horrible. I understand if you don’t want your kid to curse, but you don’t have to torture them. Just talk with them and explain why it’s not nice to say and that kids shouldn’t speak that way or whatever. Don’t make too big a deal about it. Try not to curse around them either, that’s where they likely hear it and you can be an example for them. If talking doesn’t work then take something away like a toy or some computer time or whatever. I think it’s also important to reward kids when they’re behaving, even just acknowledging it. That can go a long way.

2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: Well, I personally don’t think kids should watch that at all. I’d say wait until they’re in high school. 

3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: Yes I know what it means, no I haven’t heard that particular song by them.

4. how many bug bites do you currently have?:  Zero.

5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: Whenever a question like this comes up, “onomatopoeia” always comes to mind. That’s a word I never use except for these questions haha, but yeah I can never seem to remember the spelling, I have to Google it each time.

6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: I’ve never seen a bad live performance, but I’ve heard things about some bands that I haven’t seen, such as Maroon 5. I’ve heard they’re pretty bad. :X

7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?:  I’ve never been.

8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: Yes, a couple. 

9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?:  I’ve never heard of that lol but awww how corny and sweet.

10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: Firefox out of the two, but I use Chrome.

11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: I haven’t seen all my neighbors, but I don’t find the few I have seen attractive. 

12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?:  I have a flat stomach, but noooo you’ll never see me in a crop top. I’m waaaaay too self-conscious for that.

13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: Long, which is what I have, but it takes more energy and maintenance than I can give right now and I should just cut it short again. :/ I just can’t bring myself to do it for some reason, though.

14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?:  Short.

15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?:  I don’t care for eyebrow piercings, personally.

16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: Nooooo. I would never. I’m terrified of needles and don’t do well at all when getting blood work done, and that’s by professionals. I could never attempt to pierce myself with no experience at all. I’d also be scared of doing something wrong or causing an infection.

17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?:  Maybe. I think that’s the oldest I would go.

18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?:  Omg. I’d have left him, too, but I also would have reported him.

19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?:  Just a year younger than me.

20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: Ugh, yes. If they’re clearly not into it or they’e distracted then forget it, what’s the point? I can’t keep a conversation going if the other person isn’t putting anything into it nor would I want to even try.

21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: AIM died.

22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: Hmm. I’m blanking at the moment.

23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?:  Not in particular, but I’m always down for new music.

24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?:  I haven’t bought a CD since like 2011. I usually just went to like Walmart or Target. I also bought a few CDs from a place that sold old records/albums/cassettes, though. That’s also the place I sold all my CDs to.

25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: I don’t know, ask someone who watches porn. 26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: Marijuana is legal here, but that’s the only drug I would do.

27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?:  No. I only want one little one.

28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: I have a laptop, so it has a built-in trackpad and keyboard. 

29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: Yes.

30. do you have callouses on your feet?:  No.

31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: Gahhh, yes. 🤢 It was so gross.

31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: I love pastel colors together.

32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?:  Yeah, back in the day. I totally forgot about that. The quality wasn’t too, too bad on the ones I saw.

33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: There’s a few movies that were supposed to come out this year that I wanted to see, but that’s obviously not going to happen. 34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: I don’t want to live alone at all, but if I had to choose I’d definitely choose the small studio apartment. I wouldn’t want to live in some huge house by myself. That would make me a lot more anxious and uncomfortable. I don’t even want a big house like that for my family and I, it’s just so unnecessary. We’d only need a house big enough for 4 adults and a doggo to live in. 

35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?:  Omg, that would mean I was hacked somehow. I’d be disgusted and horrified and try to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Are you supposed to report that kind of thing? I would think so, so that it could be taken down and hopefully catch whoever distributed it.

36. what’s the last computer game you played?: The Sims 4. It’s been a couple years, though. I get urges to play, but I’m too lazy.

37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: I’m definitely not sharing that.

38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?:  No.

39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?:  *shrug* I have a rock collection, so who am I to judge. lol.

40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: I don’t use :], I use :) Anyway, I don’t use emojis or smiley faces super often, but sometimes when I feel they’re fitting. I know some people who get a little carried with them.

41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”* <<< Hahaha, for real. 

42. how do you feel about abortion?:

43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?:  She doesn’t do anything that I can’t stand. My grandmothers were/are (my maternal grandmother sadly passed away 15 years ago) sweet, loving, and adorable. haha.

44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?:  Loss of my grandparents was heartbreaking for me, I had a really hard time with their loss. Them being older didn’t make it any easier. I think why people find it even more devastating when a child dies is because they were so young and hadn’t even had a chance, yet, like their life had just begun. There was so much still to experience. They should have had a lot more time. Even a young adult because it’s like their life is also kind of just beginning in a way, perhaps they just started or finished college, were about to start a new job, or were about to get married and start a family. They, too, have so much still to experience and should have had more time. But still, losing someone who is older is still just as sad. I think some people just can sometimes find a little comfort in the fact that they had lived a long life and got to experience a lot. 

45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: I don’t have to sneak around. Never have.

46. how often do you wash your hair?: Every couple days.

47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: Well, these days movie theaters aren’t even open. However, I don’t think it’s the movie ticket price that’s too high, it’s getting stuff at the concession stand that racks it up. The food and drinks are ridiculously overpriced. I just have to get some popcorn, though. I miss movie theater popcorn with salt and lots of butter.  48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?:  Yeah, a few times as a kid. Actually, the last time I went was to see the Willy Wonka movie with Johnny Depp when it came out. I wish they still had drive in theaters where I live. I think they should make a big comeback, I mean that’s perfect for social distancing. We can stay in our own cars, closed off from others, but still enjoy movies on the big screen.

49. what’s your favorite musical?:  Sweeney Todd (the one with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter). 

50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: I was a fan as a kid, I loved his books. They’re classics. I actually have a Star-belly Sneetch stuffed animal, which is a character from his book, The Sneetches. 

[notconsolation]

those tips are so interesting to read!! would you care to make a similar list about what to eat/how to manage food resources while being on a trip? or advice about camping alone in general? thanks!

HAPPILY this is one of those subjects that makes me really happy because I am 100% a nature witch

this is a great way for to procrastinate thank you thank you. (warning: it’s long)

disclaimer: I don’t really know what I’m doing any more than the next person, so I can’t really recommend doing things, I can just tell you about my experiences. Here’s what i got (SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOOOT)

Food:

er how can I say this….. I don’t have the healthiest relationship with food so I cannot emphasize enough how uncomfortable I would be if anyone were to take my eating patterns as guidelines for anything. Having said that, I am most at peace with food and my eating habits when I travel. But suffice it to say that it’s probably not quite enough calorically and I personally think that’s fine because it’s not my constant state of living but…… anyway.

-I’ll go about a week between stops in towns sometimes. When I say that I just mean sort of passing through one on my route and checking if they have a market/supermarket. Sometimes it’s less than that but generally if I’m in a town I’ll get a bunch of beef jerky (might have to alter this this summer when I’m in bear country but I’ll still look into that) - say five packets for a week. I might also get some energy/protein bars but these are not my faves tbh and also the wrappers take up space in pockets. Other than that I might get a bag of carrots or some sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds are good for magnesium, which helps prevent cramps, so that’s a plus when you’re walking all day and don’t want foot cramps that hurt like a bitch. I like carrots. Honestly, though, I prefer finding food in the forest to taking it with me. 

-It depends when and where you’re travelling obviously, but if you familiarize yourself with edible wild plants before you go somewhere that’s a useful bit of knowledge to have. I personally don’t eat something unless I’m sure it is what I think it is. That means that I end up having a lot of blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, mirabelles, plums, apples, wild garlic, dandelion, clover, wild sorrel, chickweed, purslane, gooseberries and beechnuts because they’re hard to mistake for other things. There are also things that are technically edible but I wouldn’t really recommend like birch bark and rosehip berries. I just dont like them much. 

-Oh, also: corn. So I realise this is not technically a morally great thing because it’s sort of like stealing? but if I’m walking past a field of corn I’ll usually take a cob and shave off the kernels into a container and then munch on them as I go. Fibrous and gets your digestion going and honestly raw corn is really tasty. Wash it first, if you can, and always check for bugs in your food. 

-I also prefer to stock up on water when I’m near civilization or at a spring, just cause ya can get some nasty ass infections from nasty water and that can suck when you’re alone in the middle of nowhere. I got a very mild stomach bug last year and that wasn’t nice. I do carry water purification tablets, though, and some charcoal in case I really really really need to make a makeshift water filter. But I try to have at least 4 litres on me whenever I leave a town. Forest springs are great, and quite often well signposted if they’re reasonably near civilzation because people jog up there and stuff. My grandpa used to do that.

- Pine tea. I like it. Boil pine needles in water. Tea. Piney. I like it. You may not.

Advice on isolation without loneliness:

The main thing people ask if I’m talking about this stuff is whether I get lonely without talking to someone for 2 weeks at a time. Honestly I think the answer to that depends party on who you are. I am a solitary person in the first place so my answer might be different to yours. My answer is just straight up no. I don’t get lonely. I sing to myself on the road. I talk to myself sometimes, but just sort of in a thinking aloud way. I find the whole process incredibly therapeutic and it allows me to work through so much shit because when you’re on your own there’s no one around to hold you to their standards, so you have to learn to be okay with yourself. Literally looking for food, water and shelter every day is a good way for me to indirectly express my will to fight to stay alive. Or actually. I mean it’s pretty direct. You have to actively Survive rather than just passively Exist. I find that to be the best environment for working through shit and confronting yourself with issues because who are you gonna distract yourself with or hide behind if you don’t want to talk about it? I do have a couple of tips though:

- take books. Ones you know and ones you don’t. Ones you know give you comfort, ones you don’t engage you. Pick up books at flea markets and from old bookshops when you pass through towns and cities. I actually also set aside a certain amount of battery on my phone every day for reading stories I’ve downloaded and I think that actually also helps tether me to society a bit and not get lonely, because it’s this implicit inclusion in a community (ao3) of like-minded creative people. I didn’t have tumblr then but I can say for sure I’m gonna miss the hell out of you guys in July

- MY MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE: write. I filled a tiny journal with tiny writing last summer and it was the best part of everything. Not so much because i can look back at what I did but because it gave my thoughts and days and actions coherence and I could sit down and think something out on paper with myself and make discoveries about my thoughts and feeling and just……. you learn a lot about yourself when you start writing your thoughts down.

- Sing. Sing out loud all the goddamn time if you’re like me.

General advice:

This is just some info that’s good to have? I think?

-periods: sonofabitch. Fucking. Periods suck, and when you’re travelling solo for over a month you’re gonna have them (maybe. this is for those who have them) and you’re gonna have to be prepared for them. Tampons are the way forward in my opinion but *tmi* my periods are so heavy that they bleed through a maxi tampon and a maxi pad during the night sometimes so I have no choice. But also if you get mauled or something I guess pads are good for blood absorption so they’re a good thing to have anyway. Tampons are also good for blood absorption (WHO’DA THUNK IT) and also make good kindling. I’m gonna talk more about kindling later, though. The good news: periods can be less heavy when you’re active all day.

- pine resin/sap: useful stuff. You can theoretically eat it if you’re really desperate for something cause it’s v high-energy but absolutely disgusting and in general it’s best for a couple things: if it’s liquid and fresh you can use it to hold together cuts and wounds (natural antibacterial properties and all that plus it’s sticky and literally holds skin together). if it’s hardened you can still melt it down or dissolve it in warm water - at which point you can use it as a gargle that’s good for upset stomachs and throat problems (and colds i think?). If it’s dry it also catches a spark really easily. It also apparently repels mosquitos, but I’m skeptical about that one.

-kindling/fire: so there’s a long list of materials that can be used as kindling which might be really useful to you, but I’m gonna level with you and say that I don’t really make fires when I camp out for a couple of reasons: 1. A lot of the time I’m in national parks where that’s not allowed and also where I am not sure I’m technically allowed to camp, so best not to draw attention to myself by making a fire and 2. I’m just not that great at it. Like, I’m just not very good.

-brushing teeth: I use biodegradable toothpaste concentrate and just spit it out. not that great, yep. I have yet to figure out a better system.

-washing: imma level with you - I don’t stay terribly clean. A lot of campsites have showers you can use if you pay for them, but there aren’t always campsites around. Wash in lakes and learn to live with the fact that you’re not gonna smell great. If i walk past some lavender I take it and I stuff it in my sports bra and in my bag. Same with mint or thyme or rosemary - anything with a strong, pleasant smell. Wash your face in the bathroom sink at the train stations. Look up at your reflection and be taken aback cause you haven’t actually seen yourself for a while and you realise that you’re a little more tanned and that makeup is totally unnecessary a lot of the time.