#anyway here you go. the long awaited fridge scene analysis

[gnomeniche]

the fridge scene and the themes of dhmis

hi. i think the fridge scene is thematically relevant to dhmis and it's about time i explained why. this is a long one because i have a couple different angles i’m bringing to the table.

first, i need to recap how the blackout scenes as a whole function. these are some of the only times we see the students acting in a space mostly free from the show-world's whims. it gives us a lot of insight into the closest thing to "true selves" they have. the music and the lights and even the set itself drops away, and what we are left with is just them. most teachers are ineffectual, glitched, or dead here, so they can express what they think without risk of being hurt.

the fridge scene is set in this brief moment of freedom. this is very important to remember.

now, on with the post.

"i like looking at you": seeing versus knowing

"i like looking at you" is a rare moment of real affection between the main characters, but i want to focus on the word "looking." there are a lot of ways to express affection for someone. why did the writers choose that specific phrasing?

well, the students live in a tv show. the idea of "looking" has a strange sort of intimacy in a tv world, where the students are constantly being subjected to a gaze they cannot control. that gaze dictates what they are allowed to do, and it is often actively hostile to what they are beneath their performance.

but looking at each other is a mutual and willing observance. it's a way to take agency for themselves (to be the one who is looking rather than being looked at, and to have the possibility of being seen as they are) and a way to acknowledge that there may be something more to each other beyond the performance. "i am an equal to you, i like what i can see of you, and i want to see more of you."

however, there's an irony in how this sentiment can only be expressed in the darkness. though they wish to be real friends, they can't in a world like this. they can only look at each other in a place where they cannot be who they are, while they can only reveal themselves in a place where they cannot physically see each other.

despite the power that comes from looking, it is not the same as knowing. it's a desire to know, and that still matters, but their circumstances prevent them from really understanding each other. they like what they are allowed to know of each other, and they would like to know more, but they can never be sure what each other are really thinking because the world won't let them.

and they know that they don't really know each other. red, in initiating the attempt at connection, does so quickly and tentatively, unsure what will happen. duck's reaction is disbelief; he's aware that he doesn't really know what's going on in red's head. but upon realizing that the sentiment is mutual, the two of them try to speak more frankly about their lives and their relationships to yellow. ultimately, even limited as they may be, knowing that someone else wishes to really see them emboldens them both.

the other ones: the will to look closer

there's another way this scene works: it helps to communicate the difference between the warm curiosity that still remains in our guys and the rote coldness enforced by the world.

given the cuts between yellow encountering the ones upstairs and the blackout scenes, there is a noticeable juxtaposition between the showboating cruelty of the other reds and ducks and the understated affection of the fridge scene, isn't there? even the staging is different: while our two are in a massive, dark expanse, the higher floors are each a single room flooded with stage light that reaches into every corner.

so, what's different about our red and duck?

the ones upstairs have lost any inclination to try and see things as they are. they believe they've found the ultimate truth and thus accept what they are given at face value, and they speak in performative, self-consciously grandiose ways. they reject any attempt to reach beneath the surface, whether it's in questioning their lessons or trying to be kind outside the toxic narrative, and they don't show much interest in each other or yellow besides as something that needs to be there for the lesson to start. even when the bigger boys get that one experiment joke, the idea is immediately rejected.

meanwhile, despite their earlier abrasiveness and fear of the unknown, our red and duck want to look deeper. their willingness to break from the lesson brought yellow the batteries he needed to go upstairs and landed them in the blackout in the first place. and in the fridge scene, they come closer than they ever have to finding something true by themselves. they're still not able to fully express themselves; they're limited by how they have been taught, and they can't quite conceptualize something better beyond the house, but they are trying to talk about how they feel and what they want. they are attempting something vulnerable, kind, and unfamiliar as best they can.

the dangers of swallowing harmful "truths" that the world presents you without question and the alienation that results are recurring themes of dhmis. the fridge scene shows that our red and duck, even as incurious as they are in this episode, still have the desire to dig into what they see and reach out toward each other, and dhmis presents that as gentle and honest. the harsh performativity of the higher floors is the consequence of losing the will to look closer; the world wants our red and duck to lose that will as well, but this scene shows that they can and must keep it.

but here's the thing:

the rare affection here shows one way the students could possibly find something better. aiming for escape is possible but risky, but perhaps they can find another way out by uniting.

the only problem is that the world won't let them do either. do you remember what comes directly after the fridge scene?

when the stage light creeps back in, they immediately lose the ability to show themselves to their friends. they never get to talk to or about yellow honestly. they get pulled back into their roles, where they do the single cruelest thing they've ever done to yellow.

"transport" shows how the world subverts physical escape, and "electricity" shows how the world subverts any attempts at unity between the three of them. no matter how much they wish to understand each other and be real friends, the show will always bring them back under its sway. the very sweetness we saw them show makes the ending all the more bitter.

so where do we go from here?

i don't want to end this on this dark note. i just wanted to discuss how the scene functions in the context of the show; what it tells us, what it adds to the themes, and what it does to us. but what it does to us is give us hope for the characters and leave us devastated at the ending.

so… i will turn in a slightly more speculative direction. the world’s aggressive attempts to keep them apart means that the world is just as afraid of the three banding together for real as it is of them escaping. that means, if it turns out that escape to the outside world isn’t possible or desirable after all, the three of them retaining themselves and genuinely bonding will be involved in how they find something better. the way this scene is shown as a moment of freedom from the show's artifice leaves me with no doubt.

so have this one sartre quote about no exit that i keep using for dhmis. i have to believe that they will eventually get to care about their fellow beings.

“Hell is other people” is only one side of the coin. The other side, which no one seems to mention, is also “Heaven is each other”. Hell is separateness, incommunicability, self-centeredness, lust for power, for riches, for fame. Heaven on the other hand is very simple, and very hard: caring about your fellow beings.

tl;dr

thematically, the fridge scene contributes to the idea that a restrictive, performative world like this tries to keep people from understanding and loving each other. however, that means that a way to obtain some kind of control in this world is through love for other people. performance is one thing, but they've got to try to look past that, at each other. REALLY look at each other and understand each other. then, they might be able to break the cycle of their uncaring world and stop hurting each other.

(also, gay puppet rights)

[orionsangel86]

Some honest thoughts...

As many of you know, I have tried to remain very positive lately about the show and the current direction. I have always tried to speak my mind and not mislead my followers especially regarding a topic that we are all so very passionate about. This is why I want to write down some things that have played on my mind lately. 

Long post under the cut

I have always been honest about my analysis of the show, and what I interpret as I watch. What I don’t think is made clear enough by many of us meta writers is that sometimes the direction of the show changes, sometimes the change is slow, sometimes it happens abruptly. All we can do is let the show guide us. We let the meta guide US, rather than force it to fit our preferred reading.

The one thing I have always tried to avoid, regardless of what idiots on Twitter might claim, is confirmation bias. I will not let my desire for canonically romantic Destiel endgame affect my meta reading of the show. I ALWAYS force myself to see other perspectives and usually, the show still pleasantly surprises me by loading the subtext with Destiel themes.

I have written several posts on the topic lately to remind you all of my current stance:

My view on canon endgame Destiel (plus additions by others)

My view on the business side of things

My last meta piece on endgame themes in Season 14

Since the announcement that Season 15 was the last, I have suffered a whole range of emotions, and many of those were relating to my fear over Destiel. My desire for it to be brought to text is shared by so many of you, I am just another fan like any of you who desperately wants this love story honoured and done RIGHT. My optimism has constantly jumped up and down from episode to episode, from one PR release to another. I can’t make up my bloody mind. 

I’m scared. 

I’ll probably be mocked for saying that. I half expect the assholes to grab hold of this post when I’m done and use it to twist my words and attack Destiel shippers with. The one thing you can always count on with absolute certainty is the predictability of the bronlies and *others* who have recently aligned themselves with them. I’ll blow them a kiss now and be done with it.

This isn’t a post to announce a *change* of heart as such, but like @tinkdw wrote this morning my optimism on endgame romantic Destiel is currently at a low point.

Ever since the end of the S12/13 escalation after 13x06, I have had this horrible voice in the back of my head telling me that such an abrupt change of pace probably came from higher up. Suddenly jumping from a heavily romantic Destiel arc to zero Destiel focus was extremely jarring and confusing enough even for the general audience to be confused with.

Since then, whilst we HAVE had quite a nice helping of Destiel elements in the show to keep us going, the lack of follow up on that escalation at THIS point is starting to concern me. There is still definitely intentional subtext being laid down for us to enjoy, but in my opinion it has fallen back into the realm of plausible deniability and the characters can easily be viewed as platonic friends/brothers.

Instead, there has been a drastic increase in the focus on found family and the Winchester family unit lately - centering around TFW being the parents of Jack. Sam, Dean, and Cas have all been presented as three equal father figures to their son, the majority of PR has treated the three show leads very equal, and this in itself is amazing for a show that has so often side lined Cas in previous years. This is still a hug win for anyone who sits in camp “Cas is a lead and this show is more than the brothers”.

I always used to say when Dabb took over, that this was a good thing for Cas fans. I still maintain this stance. Cas is more present than ever as an equal to Sam and Dean, and sure they have their disagreements, but his character journey is integral to the brothers journey now. There is absolutely no way that this show will end without the three of them together - whether in life or in death. If it does, then I will be flinging my laptop into the wall in utter despair. 

The latest episode was a heavily emotional send off for Mary Winchester. I was expecting her death, though for a short time there I hoped that perhaps it would  be subverted. I feel like she was honoured well, but at the same time I am upset that she was given no choice in the matter, and I will never fully be satisfied with her death as on a very basic level, it was yet another fridging. I also recoiled at the idea that her heaven included John Winchester - after an early season build of a potential new relationship with Bobby (one that was heavily DeanCas coded) this is another change of direction that left me blinking in the headlights. It is another element that has shaken my faith in the show’s ability to logically plot story direction. The one comfort I can take here, is that the John from Mary’s heaven was NOT the actual soul of John Winchester, but a happy memory of him. Mary’s heaven’s front door clearly only states her own name. Her and John have never been actual soulmates - just forced soulmates for heavens purposes. I can’t berate Mary on her happy memories of her marriage, but from a narrative perspective it feels like a regression of sorts, put there purely for sentimental purposes. Had it been clear that it was John’s soul, it would have been far worse and I would be in a far worse frame of mind right now.

I have seen some really great meta on this latest episode talking about how Mary’s death has shown once again the difference between Dean and Cas, and Sam and Cas, and how Dean’s extreme emotional reaction to Cas’s desperate attempt to shelter Jack and the brothers from further pain indicates an emotional bond between them beyond the realm of platonic friendship and brotherhood. I really want to agree with this reading. I do. I can see it, and I agree that this could potentially lead to a discussion between them that is desperately overdue. 

But I can also easily see this being overlooked. I can see Bucklemming stomping into the story next episode with their gigantic clumsy boots and crushing all of Bobo’s delicately weaved plot full of call backs, mirrors and poetic symmetry. I can see the DeanCas *conversation* that we have been eagerly awaiting now for nearly 2 whole seasons being once again left behind. 

After the series end announcement, I looked back at several episodes that aired recently, and I speculated that the writers have known this since at least episode 300. Too much of what has been said in the scripts since is obviously a message to the fans. Therefore, everything we are currently watching is also already “the endgame” because the writers at this point should start wrapping up loose plot threads and focusing on finalising the character stories. Setting things up for the big finale.

This is why I believe 14x14′s shock end with Michael being destroyed so easily by Jack happened. I seriously doubt that is how it was originally supposed to go. They needed to clear the path for Jack rather than having various different plots running simultaneously like they usually do. 

This is also why I am slightly anxious about Cas’s Empty deal. If this becomes a thread picked up for season 15 great, but I can also see them easily resolving it in some outlandish way to instead focus on whatever big final story will be the focus in season 15. I would love Cas’s deal TO be the focal story, and if this happens, I will also regain faith in a romantic Destiel subplot, but I am wavering. 

Since the writers knew when writing the current run of episodes in season 14 that the season would wind up and prepare for the endgame, if they intended Destiel to be brought to text, I was expecting something more than what we have got. Perhaps I’m just finally burnt out, but frankly I don’t think that the way Dean treated Cas in this latest episode read as a lovers spat, I don’t see intentional romance being coded into their scenes together, and I certainly don’t see any indication from Jensen Ackles in his acting choices that Dean is struggling with a deep love for Cas vs his grief over the loss of his mum. I see loss, and anger, and an outstanding performance yes, but his treatment of Cas was far too cold. In fact, when I look purely at Jensen and Dean over the past season, his interactions with Cas have all been rather cold in my mind. I’m sorry to say this, and I would welcome anyone reaching out to me to point out examples where this view is incorrect. But compare his interactions with Cas to any interactions with Sam, and the difference is obvious, and not in a good way. 

Misha, on the other hand, as always, has spectacularly portrayed Cas’s love for Dean in such an outstanding and heartbreaking way. Throughout this episode his anguish was so evident. He took my breath away, and that final scene when he tries to go to Dean, but Sam stops him, that really made me want to cry. 

So I am still confused, and concerned, because where I see Misha continuing to act his heart out in favour of the love story, I see nothing of the same from Jensen - not since early season 13 anyway. If Destiel was truly on the cards, shouldn’t there be more in the way of early season 13? Are my expectations really so high to want something more than mere one sided scraps?

I need to stress here that I understand the many excuses given towards Dean’s sometimes offish behaviour. He represses his emotions, he hides his feelings, he comes across angry when he is worried. He gets aggressive and violent when scared. I know all of this and will accept this IF the next two episodes SHOW me that he is ALSO capable of apology, of the kind of care and feeling towards Cas that he always gives to Sam. 

Because we HAVE seen that softer, more loving Dean regularly in Season 14. We have seen outstanding performances from Jensen in that respect - but only ever towards Sam, or Mary, or occasionally Jack. He has never shown Cas that same treatment. Again, I appeal to you, especially to other meta writers, to point out clear examples of where I am wrong. Because I really really want you to change my mind. Show me where Dean is obviously looking at Cas with clear romantic love, where the music sweeps and his face betrays his emotion the way it does for Misha whenever Cas is with Dean. 

Of course, there is a rational argument here. That this is all done purposely specifically for the Destiel drama. If this is the case then GREAT. I want it. Believe me I do. But we have two episodes left of this season and one of them will be a huge mess of pacing, action, clunky plot and terrible dialogue, and the other will be the finale which appears to be mostly taken up by Chuck’s return IMO. I can’t see any DeanCas outstanding drama being resolved in the next two episodes. I really REALLY want to be wrong. But if they don’t resolve that DeanCas drama by season end, then IMO the story between them will remain familial. Because a Dean Winchester coming out story in the final season alone just isn’t plausible. 

Again, I stress that I want to be wrong here, but the writers knew the end was coming when they wrote these last few episodes, and if Destiel was something they were doing, then they would have written it into the end of this season. I’m not saying I need a canon reveal, but I do need something more than the scraps we have been given if I am to have my faith rekindled. 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore all the focus on found family, and I fully expect season 15 to further push the Winchesters to finally show to Cas how much he is part of their family. I even think there is a good chance that we could get his name carved on the table by final season end - following that heartbreaking shot of Mary’s initials next to her son’s in 14x18. But I don’t see it being romantic, if there is no romantic push coming up. It is far too easy right now for the show to reinforce the notion that Cas is another brother. I do love that the story is developing down a clear path where Cas will likely choose to be human and live a human life with his brothers, but brothers is all they will be.

I really hope I am wrong, but in amongst all the speculation of this big Destiel reunion and conversation that is long overdue, I can’t help but remember that we have been waiting for this conversation for nearly two years. Just because fandom remembers and holds on to the overtly romantic S12/13 escalation doesn’t mean a general audience will remember this. They will only see the present, and in the present Dean and Cas do not act like a romantic couple. If another long hiatus goes by without that conversation having occurred, it is yet another gap in which the general audience will forget, and the writers will be able to drop it as they have always dropped it previously. 

This is endgame, we can’t afford to have the deancas important plot points dropped anymore. We can’t afford to have their conversations, and apologies, and moments of making up, left in the subtext. We NEED to have that stuff shown the way they show it if it is Sam and Dean. 

If they aren’t planning on doing that, then I doubt there will even be a “Destiel” plot to meta about. It will remain in subtext, as scraps, and maybe something ambiguous right at the end as a saving grace in order to not completely destroy the shows legacy once complete. 

The further we move away from any substantial Destiel elements, the more and more likely it is that a CW exec already pulled the plug on it. As much as I love Bobo, and still enjoyed this episode for its melancholic poetic beauty, his own bitterness over Wayward Sisters still shows clearly in his writing (in my opinion) and I don’t believe he truly has his heart in it the way Steve Yokey does. I sometimes wonder if his lack of passion for his episodes recently is to do with more than just the loss of Wayward Sisters. Could Bobo also be upset about a “no” on Destiel?

The saving grace here being that Yokey still fills his episode with passion and plenty of queer coding. Yokey is the other person on the writing team who I focus on in terms of accusations of queerbaiting. Yokey certainly wouldn’t queerbait his own community, but unlike Bobo where there appears to be a certain bitterness over his place on the show, Yokey still embraces his role and seems very happy with it. If they had truly been given a red light from the execs, then wouldn’t Yokey also be feeling kinda pissed off that he is working on a show that is potentially going to go down in history as the biggest queerbait since TV began?

Aside from Bobo, which can be explained by Wayward Sisters, there is still passion and joy from the writing team, and if they were truly aware that Destiel wasn’t happening, I don’t think they would be so proud. So maybe there is still hope after all? They aren’t the kind of people to intentionally queerbait their fanbase. Yet Destiel has definitely been an intentional part of their storytelling for years. 

I truly hope that the next two episodes rekindle my faith, but right now I have very little hope for textual romance. I am still 100% on board with the found family, Cas is definitely a Winchester and third lead focus that the show has been pushing. It brings me a lot of joy. But yeah, I need a lot more than we are currently getting if Destiel is really still on track. 

Sorry guys. Perhaps I am just not quite out of my rough patch this week. I am fickle enough that by next week I could have totally changed my mind again, but as always. These are my opinions, not to be inflicted on anyone else. You are responsible for managing your own expectations. This is how I manage mine.

xxx