#anyway i might be forgetting something but i just dont get when ppl are like im anti steve s1 + part of s2???

[hiddenbeks]

more than a month after my previous kotor update i am happy to announce that i have finally met jolee and had him join me <3

[samgelina-jolie]

I see a lot of ppl who talk about Steve "still being an asshole still in early s2" but i don't really get it? Like what did he do that makes him still an asshole pre-Dustin? He's barley there pre-Dustin

S2 Steve has less of the of an antagonistic love interest in the triangle who your obviously supposed to root against vibe like in s1, its more like he's the boyfriend in a Hallmark movie the lead girl is with before she moves back home, promptly forgets him and marries her childhood sweetheart in my opinion

Like yeah I guess he's a mid boyfriend (though I don't think anything to do with Steve was the main issue in Stancy's relationship) but hes not a bad guy by that point. So I don't get people who are like "I still don't like early season 2 steve but he's good by the end" when early season 2 Steve is just some guy by that point.

[q1ngqve]

hi!! same anon here you dont have to take this as a request bc i just wanted to get this out of my chest yandere or at least obssesive averatio where both overstim the hell out of reader (lowkey mindbreak if you're comfy about that??) after reader rejects their advances NOT OUT OF HATE or anything but bc their insecurities got the best of them and either thought the two were just messing w them or they have abandonment issues (i do not have the second one whatever do you mean i am not projecting do not percieve me) no offense to these two but they look like the ppl to mess w your heart n leave you to rot

mb some predator/prey (they both hunt you down after you avoid them both and as ratio wisely said "what do you do with a cornered prey? hunt it to death" AUGHAHSGA) aphrodisiacs, drugging, etc. anyways after that you best bet you'll be too dumb to ever think of something as stupid as that, and sure, yes ratio hates idiots but well..... you will be the only exception given how cute you look all fucked out and broken on their bed with their cocks deep inside you <3

SKLDJALSDJAL HELP i feel awfully embarrassed w writing this lmao scuse me while i bleach my head.

i am very sorry this took so long </3 i wrote this as a fic at first but i lost motivation so now it’s just in the form of brain rot :(

oh no :( poor reader with insecurities from your past relationships thinking every man out there is a liar, especially the two that gave their hearts to you :( running away from them is a smart move because we don’t trust men in this household!

but you forget how annoying they can be when it comes to getting what they want, and they want you (´▽｀) so don’t be surprised when you find yourself feeling scared out of your mind walking home alone and feeling like you’re being watched! or when you find certain luxury items randomly appearing in your room! or the slightest hint of their cologne when you wake up every morning! because you asked for this by running away 😵‍💫

this was supposed to be holiday for you — coming to penacony, but the headache and blurry room before you has you panicking! you best know that no one is coming to save you when you’re running through the reverie hotel like a lost bunny when you receive a letter saying they’ll have you tonight! and if you think you had any chance of escape, you’re so wrong 😖

oh, and don’t let them know that you’re afraid, it only spurs them on! hunting you down through the corridors of the hotel is so adrenaline inducing for them <3 running shouldn’t be so hard though, so why do you feel as if your legs are going to give out any second? oh right, the drink! they probably drugged it, seems like something they would do

an exasperated gasp leaves you when you finally let your body fall, eyes closing, preparing for impact. and the next thing you know you wake up, hands tied above you to the headboard, your body completely bare. you’d struggle with all your might, soft whines sounding at the back of your throat when you spot the two of them hiding in the shadows, staring down at you with those bright, lust-filled eyes

oh, you’re so dead

your body feels like it’s on fire, desperately needing release, needing someone to touch you, anyone. your voice betrays you as whimpers leave you when they stalk towards you, their burning gaze not helping with the burning sensation.

you really did think you could escape! so why’re you here, tied and unable to move? tears fall as you lock eyes with veritas ratio, your fight or flight kicking in when he reaches out to caress your cheek, wiping the tears away. laughter sounds from aventurine on the other side of the bed, you’re just so naive! all he wants to do is to love and break you until you’re a sobbing mess beneath him 😵‍💫 so don’t blame him when he kisses you, he just can’t help it anymore, not when you’re already shaking when all they did was drug your drink and reveal themselves to you after months of stalking :(

the aphrodisiac is making you incredibly sensitive to their touch, which is perfect for them because that would mean hearing your sweet cries of pleasure! you best prepare yourself though, because they’re not stopping until you’re about to pass out 🧎🏻‍♀️ they haven’t had you for months, nobody is going to stop them from worshipping you, not even yourself.

you’ll be so overstimulated by the end of the night that even just innocent touches can have you whining and trembling like a leaf (^^)

“you really think you can run from us?” — veritas ratio

“who you knew you were so filthy, hmm? you wanted us to hunt you down, didn’t you? dirty, dirty girl.” — veritas ratio

“missed you so much, pretty girl.” — aventurine

“stop? now why would we do that? you’re clearly enjoying this. look at you, making such a mess on my cock.” — aventurine

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok dude, hear me out. Steve’s dad is a very traditional man. Anything not masculine enough or traditional enough isn’t good enough. Steve’s not allowed to have hair grease so he has to hide it or his dad throws it away, and if he catches him leaving the house with it in he usually either makes him rinse it out or just beats the tar out of him (let’s face it, it’s the 60s, not just Johnny’s parents are gonna be abusive since it was super normalized in society to beat your kids. Johnny’s was probably more focused on since he was pony’s best friend and he didn’t really like Steve much nor did he talk about him much.) so he usually only leaves when he knows his dad isn’t gonna see him or just sneaks out of his window. He used to force Steve to keep his hair short but he just stopped cutting it after a while since he liked his hair long like the other greasers. His dad forces the family to go take family pictures usually, well it’s not much of a family since it’s just him and Steve but still. Whenever they do that Steve’s dad doesn’t let him put grease in his hair and has him put on the nicest clothes he has. both guys have one suit each, they're old but they work fine. He might be a bad dad but he still loves his kid so every time he makes him go to get a photos taken (which is usually whenever he had enough money saved up on the side to do it) he gives Steve a few bucks. Any thoughts?

-😻

i love when ppl send me their ideas n r like “any thoughts🤔🤔” right after, like u wanna hear MY commentary??? aw yea,,,

ANYWAYS

LOVE THE IDEA, i think ppl tend to forget that being abusive isnt just like doing what johnnys parents were doing, a LOT of the parenting styles in the 60s was just generally toxic

i dont think steves father was rlly talked about a lot but what i do maybe remember is that he would kick steve out????and that he was an alcoholic??? idk i forgor, but point is i think him being this traditional man is a very interesting take on him!! i love when ppl try to characterize these mfs parents bc we know so little about them but we have an idea of the trauma theyve left on their kids, so maybe they acted out like that bc their parents also went through something and they never rlly got help for it considering its the 60s n all, its just this cycle of abuse, the abused becomes the abuser type of thing, even if its unknowingly

hope i phrased that right n u get what i mean

BUT ANYWHO

anon im loving this idea of urs, i WILL be gobbling this up

to add on, maybe steve doesnt rlly talk about his dad so much especially to the gang in general is bc he feels like others have it way worse than him, like yea, his dad kicks him out, but at the same time his dad at least acknowledges him, feeds him, gives him money, that kinda thing, his dad still somewhat cares for him so he feels like he cant rlly say much about the bad things his dad DOES do, maybe only soda rlly knows

[skribbyposts]

HELLO AGAIN!!1111!!!! based off of @bidisastersanji's post about Sanji not being able to sit like a normal person (its cause hes a homo). i kind of took the hc and ran w it but thats okay hee hee

Also from Law's pov bc i love him so much and i wanted to try!! hope yall enjoy!!!!!!!!&!%@^#&^(!*#^$W yeah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Law prides himself on being a very observant person.

It seems he wasn't looking hard enough when he made the mistakes that led him here, sulking under an umbrella on the deck of Luffy's ship.

After Dressrosa, Law was never supposed to see his crew again. That plan was thrown out the window by a certain straw-hatted pirate, and now he's hitching a ride to Zou with this absolute circus that is Luffy's crew.

It's been a week since Law came aboard, and the more he looks, things get weirder and weirder. Specifically, their chef.

The first time they met, the man was well-mannered, minus his attitude towards women and cigarette habit. However, Law finds him ever more strange after every interaction they have on the Sunny.

------

The first time Law notices something off is when he happens on Sanji in the galley. He understands being awake in the wee hours of the night, but not like this.

Law finds the man still fully dressed in his three-piece at three in the morning, sitting - no, crouching - on his chair and poring over a cookbook. His cigarette dangles loosely from his mouth as he mutters something unintelligible to himself and brings his knees together to rest his chin on top of them.

What the fuck, Law thinks, and as if the chef heard his internal monologue, a blonde head whips around to face him standing at the door.

Sanji's wide-eyed, slightly disheveled face stares back at him, and his neck is uncomfortably craned so he can look directly at Law. The pair look at each other awkwardly, and after a moment of silence he just...closes the door.

This is not Law's ship. It is none of his business, and he will go back to the men's quarters to sleep.

-----

This keeps happening the longer Law stays on Luffy's ship, and every day he notices how rarely the Sunny's resident cook takes a break. In addition to that, he also can't help but notice exactly how Sanji chooses to rest.

Whether he's chatting with Robin in the library the lawn or napping with the swordsman on the lawn, it's always with one leg up on the seat, both slung over the back of a chair, or contorted into a position that shouldn't be humanly possible.

Law finds it mildly concerning, but no one else on the crew seems to mind when Sanji stops bustling for half a second and decides to perch himself somewhere (not unlike a gargoyle, Law thinks), so he leaves it alone.

---

Once, he spots the chef sleeping on deck with Zoro, but... upside down. As in, the swordsman is leaning on the mast and Sanji is resting his feet on Zoro's shoulders while his back is on the ground. It looks extremely uncomfortable. He also spots Zoro crack open his eye to peer down at the man, before closing it with a very resigned expression on his face and a light dusting of pink on his cheeks.

Again, this is not his ship and Law most certainly does not want to open that can of worms right now. He leaves the two in peace and hopes they figure it out by themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ik its not the best but this has been in my drafts for like a week and if i dont post it now im gonna forget about it for like three months so... you guys can have it yeah !! i didn't proofread this either so please lmk if there are mistakes

ANYWAYS Spawned a brand new hc that bc Sanji was locked up for like 5 years he had to teach himself stuff and develops the muscle memory for it wrong and just self-corrects in front of other ppl after learning the right way to do it. i might explore that in a longer fic at a later date, we'll see.

ALSO!!!! by popular demand(read: one person) im gonna start posting on my ao3 soon. you can find it here and all my zosan ficlets will be compiled into a series soon! watch out for that yall

[swimminginyokohamasrivers]

Ooc: guys this is not related to anything at all.

But i was just thinking about my home! Yknow. The south usa! I love the south. And i really wish it was more accepting of queer people cause tbh? No, i dont wanna move out of the south. Its where i grew up and its where i got my accent from and its where i learned everything i know. Like... guys the answer for southern queer ppl is NOT to leave the south. I promise you.

I promise you that is not the answer. The thing we should do is fight for better queer rights there, too...

Also if i get one more sweet home alabama joke made to me i swear to god. Please please please please stop guys....

Also omg. Next time i get mocked for my southern accent ill cry i cant do this anymore yall. Who cares if i say "caint" instead of "cant"... who cares...who cares if i drop letters..

Giggling woukd it be funny if i started typing in my southern accent... would that be funny...

Anyway ask me questions abouts southern usa stuff because. Well. Because i love where i grow up and it actually means so much to me i swear... :( yes it has its downsides but i love it. I love it anyway.

ALSO. I always giggle when i hear bless your heart cause guys. Guys guys guys.... someppl dont quiiiite get the difference between "bless your heart (youre so sweet ily)" and "bless your heart (GOD YOU ARE SO STUPID.)" And it makes me giggle...

Oh and also also. Oops im kinda just yapping. Yall can ignore this ong but anyway. So. Southern ppl sometimes talk with a lot of nuance behind their words. Like they sometimes just do NOT say things how they mean them because. Manners are real big, yknow? Southern hospitality and all that... so i sometimes forget people cant tell that when i say "oh i dunno..." abt something im usually trying to politely decline.. sobs.. this is common with ppl i know irl i swear to you guys i swear...

@kijimha you might be the only person interested in this in the slightest... (PLEASE LET THE @ WORK THIS TIME BRO)

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi uh i could use some advice :<

im a host of a recent system of 20-ish and guh i am t i r e d

im mainly looking for advice on how to switch or just retreat into the headspace/leave front or even just kinda stop being fully aware while still being in front for awhile bc id rlly like to take a break and the realization that im most likely front attracted/frontstuck is kinda making me more tired of being in front

also if it helps at all my(&) system is parogenic + traumagenic in origin (specifically parotraumagenic) and theres kinda iffy communication between members (some of them i have clear communication with and they randomly pop up to say stuff, some i have no idea where they are and some of them i can usually only hear when im directly interacting with them).

afaik (as far as i know) only three?? ppl have rlly "fronted" per se, and the rest have been co-con

i apologize for the long and mildly depressing ask but any help is appreciated also dont forget to hydrate

Hello! We have some posts that might help you that we’d like to share if that’s okay. The first is a post we wrote a while back with some tips on switching from our own experience:

We’d also like to share this post by @rin-and-jade on being frontstuck or frontlocked, and how to go about unsticking yourself!

Our own system host (Parker) is almost always fronting to some extent. It can certainly be exhausting and disheartening fronting nonstop, especially when other members of your system can seemingly come and go as they please. He’s going to put some info under a cut for how he copes with fronting constantly, in case you want some advice on coping with being genuinely unable to switch out!

We hope something here will be helpful for you! We’re wishing you the best of luck with switching out or at least learning how best to cope with fronting in your future!

(Host here - I’ll just write this bit if thats okay. Anyway here’s some stuff I do to deal with The Horrors of perpetual existence)

Meditation

Taking a few moments to sit in comfortable silence can be useful for me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or straight up exhausted. Here’s how I meditate (I’m no expert and I’m sure there’s better ways to do this… this is just what I do)

- get in a comfortable position in a quiet place where I’m not likely to be disturbed

- set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes

- close my eyes, focus on my breathing

- don’t dwell on any thoughts but also don’t push them away; acknowledge them and let them go

- try to stay still and calm until my timer goes off

And that’s it. Sometimes I get interrupted by an alter or something outside, but for the most part, this is how I’ve been able to meditate effectively.

Rest

I take naps whenever I can. I sit down whenever I can. I’ll literally just close my eyes for a few minutes whenever I can. Our body has issues with chronic fatigue, and fronting constantly can sometimes exacerbate our exhaustion. So yeah I am a huge fan of naps and will often set a timer for like 15-20 minutes and snooze whenever the opportunity arises. Even just lying down with closed eyes can help replenish some energy.

Distractions

Reading, watching something on TV, or playing video games can help give me somewhat of a break even if I’m still fronting. I do tend to try and keep us distracted as much as possible… sometimes to our own detriment. But if you find that you really aren’t ever able to switch out, or if your system is specutien and that’s just the way your system functions, finding things you enjoy that can serve as distractions may help you as well.

Saying No

This one’s tough, but I’m trying to learn to say no when I’m overwhelmed or have too much on my plate. This means sometimes I’ll cancel plans, hand off a responsibility, make a compromise, or turn down an opportunity if I don’t have the energy for it.

Honestly idk how much my addition can help you, but if you find that you’re not ever able to switch out at all please know there’s other folks out there in similar positions. Hoping you can make the most of your situation, anon /genuine

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[azupadre-shrine]

kinda wish there was azupadre art, and fans….. its so underrated it actually makes me rip out my hair……. i made some edits about them too but i think i deleted them forever.. but they r so cute together, its insane??

since there srsly isnt much abt the movie, anything can be up to your interpretation kinda but also dont forget its an anti-war film .?.?!.?.?

i fully believe that azulin and padre had atleast some typa feelings for each other, i saw them kinda close to each other and maybe they had off-screen interactions to build their relationship more. i mean the man literally screamed, “NOO, PADRE!” and looked absolutely heartbroken whilst gordi who didn’t have an on-screen interaction i can remember with padre, just gasped and ‘😱’ (me too, gordi, me too)… but srsly, no one honestly does that unless they are close??? i feel like if unicorn wars was a series and had a few episodes or two, it would probably show atleast a little bit more of their relationship, since series tend to have more opportunities to make their characters interact.

also i’d like to mention the only time we can see padre smiling was when he was looking at azulin and talking to him, LIKE OMFG,?? that man def had smth for azulin pls omfg !!

they also tend to stick somewhat closeby each other during the parts where they are walking in the forest, idk it might not matter but its cute to me !! also it seems azulin kept two things of padres, the book he was gifted and the flask he was seen drinking and the one caricias stole and drank from during the worm scene. it might be something they get when working there instead of recruiting at, but shh. i think i remember a few ppl agreeing that he had gotten it from padre. also it makes sense, i dont think a literal church or military base would hand-out decorated flasks for the priests or lieutenants, especially since most discourage drinking…

uurrghhf idk what else to say, i just LOVE yapping but anyway bye for now !.!!.

[suffarustuffaru]

hey so not too long ago, i saw a post from rz twitter that said that during the first loop where subaru meets otto, when subaru met the witch cultists and were chanting something to subaru before they left, that these cultists left because some outsider (who's therefore an enemy to their witch and its prophecy) was nearby. And the tweet said how that "nearby outsider" was actually otto who stayed behind because he was worried that subaru, (whom he met only as a customer in that loop and otto had already fulfilled his job) would succumb to danger. And despite frufoo's warnings, it's heavily implied that otto had in fact died in that loop waiting for subaru to come back. And the replies were saying that it's common knowledge?

First of all, is that true? I can see how one would come to the conclusion that the cultists left because otto, an outsider, was nearby. But i haven't seen proof of the implication that otto died from that loop. Secondly, with this perhaps being true, does that confirm that any loop in which otto was nearby and subaru is in danger, that otto risked his life for him? Some ppl say "but the whale incident!" But like you said way earlier, otto came back to him after pushing him off, and it's implied that he died trying to save subaru. There's no loop i can recall otto leaving him to the dust, even when he doesn't know who subaru is. And thirdly, Otto get some self-preservation skills, you barely knew the guy and already risk your life for him. What the fuck.

HAH anon your ask intrigued me so much i immediately went to the anime to try and confirm this. and bc the anime is the closest bit of info i got wjdndn i dont have arc 3 ln or access to arc 3 wn (i do not understand japanese either, sadly) but!! while the anime doesnt explicitly confirm otto died in that first loop his character debuted in, i think its definitely a possibility that he died to the witch cult there. (if anyone knows the lore on this for sure though feel free to add?? yeah)

also regarding about whether this is common knowledge or not—id argue its kind of not, at least in certain circles, bc im gonna be completely real i had to double check the anime to see how well i remembered it bc its 1. been a while since i’ve watched season 1 in full and 2. when i was looking at it on my first watch i was focused more so on what the hell was happening to subaru, rem, emilia camp rather than otto, who at the time seems like just some random guy who wont appear ever again. but also maybe im a little too used to people misinterpreting rezero over on reddit ajfbdnd bc some people STILL completely forget that otto went back after pushing subaru off the wagon. and some people still forget ottos died for subaru even though its super obvious in arc 4?? so i dont think ottos involvement with subaru across loops is really common knowledge? or at the very least its not common for Certain portions of the rezero fandom bc i see ottos whole fixation on subaru gets glossed over at times. but i do genuinely think moments like the first loop with otto are probably easy to sort of miss if youre not paying attention. but also again i might be a little bit brainwashed by rezero redditors misreading things bc the amount of people that forget otto went back for subaru in the white whale loop made me doubt my own memory of that scene to the point where i rewatched it in the anime just to be sure wkdndnd. i dont really see any english rezero people talk about this loop in particular too unless theyre referring to you know, rem arlam and emilia camp dying. but anyway moving on for now…

alright!! lets go over this scene i suppose. the anime doesnt go into like. Specifics, like how the tweets you mention do anon, but it does have some interesting stuff.

in the anime, the first loop with otto happens in episode 14 to about the beginning of 15, but the focus is of course more so on subaru, rem, arlam, etc, bc rem left for the mansion and subarus trying to get there quickly so he pays otto to do that. otto takes the time to warn him before they even set off, not only for his own sake but also for subarus:

but you know, bc ottos desperate for money bc hes in debt, he takes up the job. but once otto and subaru actually get to the road leading up to arlam and the mansion, otto stops bc frufoo’s frightened and shes warning them of danger—

but subaru being subaru jumps off anyway and leaves. he says this quickly before he goes:

otto replies by trying to call out to him desperately as he runs away:

your point about ottos self preservation is super interesting anon because otto DOES have self preservation skills. he almost kind of prides himself on it, sometimes—as a merchant, especially from a merchant family, hes been raised to treasure it. to go for things that work in his favor. especially with his bad luck fucking him over too. and he can be slightly morally ambiguous at times, so he is Very aware of self preservation and staying out of trouble. but at the same time, leaving behind innocents does kind of weigh on him bc. well hes still human. that and the further into rezero you get, the more clear it is that ottos self preservation skills just get thrown out the window the moment he sees subaru. like otto takes a significant amount of time on screen to complain about danger or trouble hes found himself in, or go on and on about how the moment he sees danger, hes just gonna turn around and run—but its just COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT SOMETIMES. he has plenty of chances Every Time to turn around and run and the moment subaru enters the picture, he doesnt take it. the only exception to this was him leaving subaru in greed if, but thats because he saw that subaru didnt give a shit about him and even then. he made that choice FOR subaru’s sake too, bc he recognizes that greed if subaru is just gonna micromanage everything and deal with it on his own. otto knows he’d just be another burden to subaru, so he leaves to lessen the load.

main route otto though? yeah youre absolutely right his self preservation is way beyond dead at this point. his self preservation is absolutely gone when it comes to subaru. this first loop is an example of it—while of course ottos you know treating subaru like a stranger bc thats what they are, he goes out of his way to warn subaru repeatedly. at first it looks like its mostly just for his own benefit bc hes Also in danger here, but then he says that he cant just accept taking subarus money and items. he talked about how hed accept subarus payment just a few minutes before this?? and we know in retrospect that he desperately NEEDS money bc hes in debt??? and subarus giving him an out right now to just leave and not look back but he still hesitates and frantically tries calling after subaru??? he has EVERYTHING to gain from just taking the money and subarus things and just leaving, but we dont actually see him leave on screen.

and then right after this, we cut to subaru running to arlam. of course, the witch cult stops him, and in the anime, all they do is circle him, then bow (to foreshadow how the witch cult + petelgeuse think that hes one of them, im assuming), and then they disappear without saying a single word.

its interesting to note though that when they leave, they run towards the direction subaru just came from. which is where otto was.

and then subaru keeps continuing on to arlam and the mansion where he finds out that the witch cult Basically wiped everyone out there. episode 15 continues this loop and then quickly ends it bc subaru is having a mental breakdown finding everyones corpses and then he promptly proceeds to die to puck (iirc?) inside the mansion. and thats all the details the anime gives about the ending of this loop. so no clear hint like the white whale loop that otto Died from this, but i think the implication is definitely there if you choose to read into it. (again, im not sure if the ln adds more details to this or not, but iirc the anime doesnt touch on this much.)

its strange that the witch cultists that find subaru just. up and leave in the direction where we Know otto likely is, bc 1. the cultists move Fast and 2. only a couple minutes passed at most, so its likely that otto is Still There, even if he did start trying to leave. even then though, i think its in character for him to still be there and try to wait for subaru. or, at the very least, otto waited there debating with himself on whether he should just leave or not. waiting there satisfies both his self preservation and the guilt he’d feel if he just abandoned subaru—he doesnt go any further to minimize the danger to himself and frufoo, but he doesnt completely leave just in case subaru comes back or if otto decides to move forward and check on subaru or something. but then we see subaru find everyone at arlam and the mansion dead, and we the audience know the surviving witch cultists left in the opposite direction (where otto is) after killing everyone at arlam, so—i think theres a connection there. as in: yeah. if otto was still there, hes probably dead.

additionally, of course later in arc 3 we see that otto gets captured by the witch cult. this time he was captured bc the witch cult caught him hurrying to get to another location for its job offer, so the witch cult captured him to interrogate him on what exactly he was doing iirc?? so in that sense yeah he was caught by the witch cult for being an outsider getting into witch cult territory while they were in the middle of doing shit (and he likely wouldve been killed if ricardo and the others hadnt rescued him) o.O

but yeah thats all the animes got regarding the first loop (aka ottos official debut into the main story as well)!!!

“There's no loop i can recall otto leaving him to the dust, even when he doesn't know who subaru is." also anon youre so right for saying this bc. yeah i cant recall any loops either bc every time otto is there near subaru. hes risking his life for subaru. hes so incredibly ride or die that its concerning. it kind of boggles my mind that some people overfixate on how he pushed subaru out of the wagon in the white whale loop and YEAH that was fucked up, but not only does he feel bad and die trying to go back for subaru later, but when you watch that scene in the anime and think about it from ottos perspective. yeah some guy you just fucking met is yelling at you about how you apparently forgot about some person youve never heard of in your life, hes yelling at you to go back and TOWARDS THE WHITE WHALE when all youre trying to do is save both of your asses, he starts trying to wrestle with you while youre both being hunted down by the whale, and then he starts rambling to himself about how maybe its his fault the white whale is chasing after both of you while you keep hearing the white whales deranged thoughts in your head the whole time bc of your dp??? its a miracle otto didnt push subaru out of that damn wagon sooner and its a miracle otto even decided to go back for subaru after all that T^TT any person in ottos shoes would be RUSHING to push subaru out of that wagon.

but like. once you think about it - yeah Every Time in the main route that ottos been near subaru and theyve gotten into danger? otto actively puts himself at risk for subarus sake. and he doesnt always die or get hurt for it, but we know that he ALWAYS goes out of his way to help subaru. hes been like this since his debut in arc 3, practically, regardless of whether or not he actually died there. bc he still Lingered around and tried to warn subaru not to leave.

so what im saying is that so much of ottos screentime is spent helping subaru in some way.

[desinyschildrenjkjm]

https://www.tumblr.com/desinyschildrenjkjm/758092295605272576/sometimes-people-are-so-anti-shipping-or?source=share

Being against shipping doesn't cause people to sound homophobic. It is because they already are homophobic that they are against shipping culture between two people of the same gender. I've been in different movies, dramas and music fandoms for years where two celebrity friends (man and woman) are openly shipped by half of the fandom, and there have never been anti-shippers coming into their spaces to tell them it's disgusting to ship people who are like brother and sister to each other.

Literally nobody cares about who gets shipped, until that ship involves two real life men who are close to each other. There's no reason why the existence of Jikook blogs should enrage people so much that they come here to spend their day insulting everyone and sending repetitive asks to 20 blogs per day. You either have a duo you ship or you dont and you dont care about shipping and what shippers believe, and you mind your own business because it does not affect you in the slightest. There's no in-between.

Those people being bothered enough to come camping in the Jikook tag to iterate about how crazy about pussy Jimin is, how Jungkook will marry a woman, and how "they see each other as brothers omg how can you think they are gay?", are homophobes, plain and simple. Not anti-shippers. There would never be such talk had one of them been female. Not ever.

Totally fair and true to what i think too...i only was less straight forward about it because i guess i was not specifically thinking of the more violent anons or posters, but made the post thinking more about the youtubers id just seen who might think they mean well but still spread anger and hate with their warnings and hand wringing. But they quack like a duck and if im honest yes i think they are only so bothered bc of homophobia. and i know not all ppl who rant against shippers are straight so i think they dont always mean to be homophobic, but their underlying homophobia is showing anyway and whatever the intention i do actually think that the pushback and anger and weirdness has its roots in homophobia even a lot of the time when they are people who arent usually homophobic its like they forget these are real adult people and not only vessles for fandom politics. Some try so much to be 'respectful' or 'not assume' that they actually are placing shame and making it seem like something dirty to even entertain the possibility that the love we are seeing with our own eyes for years now is romantic love.

[sillysapphillean]

Making a pinned post just so i have something down for now. This will be ugly & probably be messy and i'll replace it when i can be assed to put actual effort in

(Rewriting this in increments so it will be a bit choppy until i'm done. Everything most important is summarized above the cut)

About Me:

You can call me Indigo or any variation of my username, it's all aliases anyway

Triple scorpio but you'll have to guess which signs

AuDHD, c-PTSD, DPDR, PPD, physically disabled

I'm a microlabel enthusiast and hoarder and i do absolutely make my identity my entire personality

TLDR for the rest:

I'm multifandom, will graham fictionkith otherhearted, crit-inclus, very passionate about bisexual politics & history

DNI: zionists (& "neutral"s), russia defenders, radfems (not just of the terf variety), proship, "pro-para", yaoi obsessed fujos, biphobes, transandrophobes, transmisogynists, anti-microlabel, aphobes, anti-bdsm, if you're incapable of viewing things you enjoy critically, if you still engage positively with Harry Potter, non-critical helluvaverse fans, vivziepop defenders, Riko Moriyama fans/defenders, jeanee haters

Simplest way of putting my identity is "nonbinary bisexual" but rly i'm an agender multigender nonhumasc genderfaunet gendervoid sapphillean biromantic pansexual nebula-demiromantic transfag (+more)

I used to do art and am trying to get back into that

I have many fandom interests but my hyperfixations tend to be strong, so there will probably be times where i engage almost exclusively only with 1 or 2 things (currently)

Some of my interests include: spiderman but especially *into the spider-verse*, deadpool, batman, *batfam*, jason todd, poison ivy, loki, hoyoverse (unfortunately..) including genshin *star rail* hi3rd and zzz, the magnus archives, hatchetfield musicals, starkids in general, dungeon meshi, *hannibal*, gravity falls, flatland (by edwin abbott), the owl house, *ajin*, tokyo ghoul, yuri on ice, creepypasta, stars align, *all for the game*, hunger games, skulduggery pleasant, my little pony, danganronpa, dexter, supernatural, queer history, *queer labels & flags*, and more but i always forget about stuff

I severly kin Will Graham but i don't care about anything like doubles

Disclaimers:

I dont capitalize correctly and dont have a good eye for aesthetics so my posts might be an eyesore to you if that's something you value.

I am very critical of media i enjoy and i kind of hate when people make excuses for flaws in the things they enjoy or ignore them

I'm crit-inclus, not rad-inclus. I think labels need *some* limits to have any meaning at all anymore (& i think it's important that they do have distinguishable meanings so people are able to specify their experiences) but also multigender & agender ppl so often get no consideration and much of this discourse is dominated by both binary and monosexist thinking on both "sides". I get into discourse a lot on other platforms but on here i'm more likely to just block you.

I am very passionate about bisexual history and politics and do post/repost/engage with posts about it a fair amount

I enjoy horror & dark themes in media. Art and writing have helped me a lot with exploring the horrors of my own trauma. For this reason i absolutely can not stand people romanticizing/sexualizing/excusing/etc these things, please see "DNI" section for further detail. People trying to get me to romanticize the type of trauma i experienced stunted my ability to work through it as a teenager until i received proper therapeutic intervention. So absolutely 0 tolerance from me and i will not be nice about it.

I can be a bit intense about writing & characterization and thus sometimes intolerant of ppl's views of characters i care about if they contradict my own view.

DNI / block reasons:

Zionists and/or pro-Russia

I will not engage with/tolerate proship of any kind. If you romanticize/excuse/sexualize rape, incest, pedophilia, etc in any way, tolerate others doing this, or try to argue the whole "uhm akschually proship just means anti-harassment" just block me, or at least be open enough about it that i can avoid you or block you myself.

Radfems of ANY kind (terfs, tirfs, swerfs, baeddels, etc)

"paraphilia supporters/positive". Get therapy, your "paraphilia" is not a queer identity and it's not kink. Stay away from me.

Ppl obsessed with fujo culture make me uncomfortable

Biphobes, transphobes, transmisogynists, against microlabels, against xenogenders and neopronouns, disrespectful towards polyamory

You don't believe transmasc ppl experience misogyny, don't believe transandrophobia/anti-transmasculinity is real, don't believe biphobia is real

You erase characters' canon or implied bisexuality

You believe "blackwashing" or racism against white people is a thing

Anti-kink (once again: your attraction to kids or animals or ur interest in comitting rape & abuse are not kink, stop conflating the two based on "paraphilia" pseudoscience)

Fandom specific DNI/block reasons:

Harry Potter fans are inherently on extremely thin ice

I don't care if you just like hazbin hotel and/or helluva boss but if you make excuses for the issues in the shows or defend vivziepop...

You defend Riko Moriyama (aftg) in any way, ship him with any of the other characters and/or post or engage with content that defends or redeems him

You hate on renee/jean

You don't consider kaeya and itto (genshin) or argenti (star rail) bisexual

You take issue with trans headcanons that make a character the "opposite" gender

You call bisexual m/f ships "straight"

If your favorite GF character is Ford you're on thin ice

That's it for now. This will definitely be expanded on a lot when i have the energy to rework this

[matoitech]

i feel like furries view making Original Stuff kind of different than a lot of artists online do or ppl who r invested in 'fandom' do in the sense that its a rly popular sentiment online that original stuff doesnt do as well as fanart does but thats like not something thats rly relevant or true w furry stuff. my original stuff always does a LOT better than my fanart does. i think furries might have less negative views on making art than alot of ppl online do bcuz of that.. like it feels like a lot of ppl have a very down in the dumps view on art and original stuff thats like they forget that there r always artists out there making indie stuff and art and storytelling has been smth humans have been doing forever . ppl act so miserable abt art like capitalism is what started movies or something and its just like so depressing lol. people Like original stuff. w furry art especially getting into ur own ocs or world or fursona or whatever is just kind of the norm.. its respected i guess in a way that maybe other artists struggle to find? idk tho bcuz i like seeing ppls ocs regardless. i think furries also tend to get better at seeking out and finding indie stuff bcuz our interests r niche anyway so we Have to to find what we want elsewhere when we're looking for smth Specific. we also get used 2 making our own stuff, for ourselves, or for our niche little group of friends or fans or whatever. i dont have anywhere im going w this my blood sugar is low so im scarfing down food so i can See

[kil9]

re: the taemin thing (sorry im so annoying about this but i feel you wanna talk about it as much as me!). i wanted to mention his blinking habit too, but as someone who is not autistic myself (not diagnosticated at least lmao) i was afraid it was just me making assumption but you noticed it to so!!! cool. anyway i could say many more things but the line between being just a strange little dude and being a strange little autistic dude is so thin!!! (like the fact that he eats random stuff at unlikely times of the day or that he's so forgetful). ANYWAY!!!!!! i just really love him and how shinee adapts their behaviour around him to make sure hes comfortable

YES ur never annoying i absolutely wanna talk abt it forever 🥺🥺

(this got kinda long so im putting it in the readmore lol)

but yeah the blinking habit for real !!! ur definitely not wrong to pick up on that ! (i even sponged it from him sometimes lol x_x) its cool that non autistic ppl have an interest in this stuff tbh :3 i think that more ppl understanding autism and all the weird specifics of it is rly the key to our happiness ykno 🤔because most non autistic ppl know literally. jack shit.

also the eating thing YEAH 😭😭 thats also so autism to me. shinee is so good to him !!!! u can tell that even if they dont know WHY he is the way he is, that theyve figured out how he works and how to treat him....

there was such a moment in the 15m thing when key was asking taemin to "prepare" the veggies... and taemin got such a look of dread where hes like "what...... wdym.. ?" & kibum has to be like "CUT THEM taemin" lol 💀💀 its such a silly moment but its SOO quintessential to me for both what its like to be autistic (ie: what the fuck are u saying to me "prepare" this. as if im supposed to know what that means), and what its like to be close with an autistic person (kibum having to kinda remember to "translate" what hes saying for taemin so he knows what hes talking about, it reminds me of how my partner is with me sometimes 🥺)

also back to when im saying they probably dont know why he is the way he is, even if they know all his ins and outs, i think this is probably the same for taemin 🤔 he strikes me as someone who prob doesnt know hes autistic, just knows hes "weird" and "different" and has figured out how to live like that despite. reminds me of myself kind of, cos i wasnt "diagnosed" (used loosely) until maybe 19 ? which is still young but at that point i had already been thru school and everything not knowing x_x its definitely possible to figure your life out & how you work without a diagnosis, and i think it happens all the time, but its also really really hard. i think having a name for it and something u can actually research & learn about is rly helpful. so even tho hes like 30 now im still kinda always hoping he realises 🤔 if it makes his life that much easier ykno ?

this is also why it pisses me off so much that ppl get THAT up in arms when this is brought up. ppl act like falsely "accusing" someone of being autistic will ruin their life, when really its basically harmless (obviously unless ur directly using it as an insult). even the opposite might be true 🤷‍♂️ someone can rly benefit from realising about themselves. also why im so pro self dx !!! even if everyone is "misdiagnosing" themselves these days (🙄 which prob isnt true anyway) like. whats the worst that could happen ? why does it matter if someone is wrong... they might still find some info that will help them 🤷‍♂️ theres not really any autism "resources" that are in scarcity so i dont rly care if someone thinks they are even if theyre not ?

[bleep-bloop-boo]

hi honey...sorry to bother you...but i saw that some other ppl are asking for advice so i hope you don't mind me dropping this here...(feel free to ignore if u don't want to respond)

but uh i feel like i have audhd, or at least some flavor of executive dysfunction, but my parents don't really seem to understand that. like even the noise of someone chewing makes me angry, or that i have to do this a certain way, or that my brain and my body just doesn't work like my parents' do. i know fidget and stim a lot, and i am reaaally bad at procrastination. er not procrastinating. even simple tasks like getting ready for bed or showering (there's so many steps why are there so many things) or even other things that would literally take 5 minutes. like making a mountain out of a molehill or however it goes. i just relate to a lot a lot of the symptoms and experiences that other audhders have, but i don't know for sure if i have audhd.

idk i just don't know how to tell my parents that i think I have audhd and that i want to get it tested or smth i don't rly know what the process is...

anyway sorry for long ask T.T

hi!! okay, first of all, hfjkddifuhghjdkd thank you for asking me <33 (sorry i responded so late, i havent been online a lot 😭) and you're never a bother and i love the long ask <33

and i totally get where you're coming from! of course this wont work for every parent butttt, you can try this 1. don't mention any specific names, words like disability or autism or even adhd make parents nervous and dont mention internet research yet 2. slowly start describing different symptoms to them just like, work it into the conversation and pretend its relatable like for executive dysfunction "ugghhhh, i wish i could stop being lazy" "i also wish you'd stop being lazy" "its just harddd, like i want to get up but i cant. you know the feeling? like i know i have so much work to do and a lot i need to get done and i really want to start it but like my brain isn't letting me...." *wait a sec* "OH! like you know how when you want to do something dangerous? like when trying to bite your finger off like a carrot cuz you read it in a childrens book and wanted to try it but you couldn't because your brain stops you from hurting yourself? (or use the example of touching something hot) THATS THE FEELING IM TALKING ABOUT!" 3. then after you introduce a lot of the symptoms as 'quirks' you have to the point where they start calling you out on it and recognizing that you are struggling you can move on 4. start talking off-handedly about adhd/autism just casually "oh! you know how i always forget things no matter how much i try to remember them and then end up feeling really guilty i forget?? my friend with adhd does the same thing! dude, literally none of my other friends understood what i meant when i was talking about how frustrating it is to forget everything and like yk like how you start to distrust yourselff, its so cool MAKEUPANAMEFORADHDFRIEND gets itt" from this, you can gauge how supportive your parents are of the idea and start warming them up to it 5. now, some parents might start to search up adhd or autism and begin to realize that the traits you showed in step 2 are actually symptoms if nottt, start showing em videos of people describing adhd/autism and say your friends sent it to you (my friends actually do this. all the time- )

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/7_9VWxnRns8 this persons videos are some of my favorties <33 and show them saying smth like "omg, look, this person is just like meee" 6. after a while of showing them videos like that, start mentioning things like "lolol, my friends keep teasing me saying i have autism/adhd" mention this a couple times when youre using your phone so it seems like they're just texting you about it (i would mention adhd sometimes and autism others like "yk how NAME says i have adhd? well theyre fighting with NAME2 cuz NAME2 thinks i have autism lolol")

7. if they still dont connect the dots, then mention it to them casually and worst comes to worst, blame it on your friends "huh, yk whats funny? all these videos my friends said me are like surprisingly relatable... maybe im adhd lolol" or "broski, my friends are so certain that i have autism, they keep bugging me to get a diagnosis to prove theyre right! can we get one just so they stop??" of course, the best way would be to talk to them and be vulnerable and just be straight about how hard it is for you (and crying will prolly help lol) and ask them if you can please get a diagnosis because you just want to know if theres something to help you if thats not possible, try my list (tho it does take a while... like quite a few months) and let me know how it goes!! and the most important part, remember that you are doing a great job :)) autism and adhd and nuerodivergency can be so hard to deal with and the fact you're trying to get help is good <33 your struggles are so valid, and its not your fault in the slightest. i am so, so, so proud of you for everything you did :)) remember than hon GOOD LUCK BESTIEEE <33333

[orphic-exe-archived]

(SRRY THIS IS A LOT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE WHEN WRITING. TAKE UR TIME ) (Taking “ask as many questions as you like” and running with it /silly) same anon from before again again. idk kind of rant incoming bcuz i don’t much much of anywhere else to! im sort of questioning being plural but with a big question mark there bcuz it could honestly just be my gender changing too much and the identity crisis 💔 and i feel like for every symptom i have there’s at least 2 more i dont. my gender fluctuates enough already but sometimes specific genders or pronouns seem to come with certain name preferences and moods (to which I’ve always referred to as different “vibes” because that’s the only way i figured to describe things). but each of these sort of “vibes” have started to actually feel like different ppl and ive started to mess around with acknowledging them separately and it does feel nice. im also realizing that even though i don’t hear any distinct voices or anything in my mind, when i think to myself it’s more of actual back and forth conversation than is normal from what ive asked some friends? i never have amnesia at all (other than the usual forgetfulness i have which is very minor) but sometimes ill do things that don’t feel like. myself? like ill forget I drew/posted/wrote something for a bit but when I see it again i remember. and I know i did it, I was there, doing it, even though i feel like it wasn’t me. and not like im not in control of my body when I do it either cuz I very much remember doing it i just dont see why or what my thought process was. i have a whiteboard in my room where I’ve started making doodles of whatever feels like “myself” at any certain time and they’re all kind of similar but still feel like distinct. ppl. and again i physically remember drawing the other ones but it’s still weird. but most of this is just me I guess, because I don’t think i ever act particularly different online or irl around other ppl, it’s always just things i observe when im alone. i also know i have problems with symptoms of things I think I might have only appearing after I overthink it but maybeeeeeee it’s just im noticing it more? probably not. oh also before I forget I’ve also never actually dissociated or anything (at least to my understanding of an out of body experience type of thing. (Well actually I did once and remember it very clearly but that was several years ago when I hadn’t slept for much longer than usual)). its just normal zoning out for me i guess. anyways idk where i was rlly going with this and ik everyone’s experiences r different and obviously strangers on the internet can’t diagnose me with anything but I just wanted to say something ^-^ thank u for reading if u did lol

hey man! i can get that it’s stressful to figure all this out. if it helps, our experiences are pretty similar! our syscovery started with name preferences, feeling really different, and pronoun/gender identity preferences fluctuating. it sounds to me like you could very well be plural!

like you said, i can’t diagnose you with anything. however, there are some ways to try and log your headmates/alters/parts (whatever you’d prefer them called)! for example, the website simplyplural (we don’t use but many systems do) or the pluralkit bot on discord (if you use discord!) these softwares can do things like track your switches, log your headmates with names, pronouns, and descriptions, and more.

there’s no harm in giving those helpful resources a try, especially if you’re seriously considering this possibility. if you have a therapist/some form of professional help, it would be really good to bring these feelings up with them as well.

for now, keep doing what you’re already doing, possibly dabble in simplyplural or pluralkit (or another resource i didn’t list — any notes app could work as well)

i’m gonna start calling you “system questioning anon” in case you have any more questions to send me, as long as you don’t mind!

i also have to apologize— all three of these asks were answered by three different headmates (kumo, oliver, and myself (olly) in chronological order.)