#anyway i need to get standing and go potty and figure out lunch food

[dredshirtroberts]

like the absolute worst part of my body crapping out on me like this (aside from not being able to help out around the house and the obvious downside of being in rather intense amounts of pain) is that like. I get settled right? I sit down i'm settled i'm gonna be sat here until i absolutely *have* to get up.

but like also there's stuff i will just have to do in order to Exist - like pee or eat. and i gotta make decisions when i stand and i gotta try and push for as long as i can while i'm standing to get the necessities taken care of because like

it fucking hurts but everything costs more energy because it hurts. so i'm making decisions like 15 minutes in advance of body signals because i gotta plan this shit out and that's just...

god you guys it's just exhausting.

[13uswntimagines]

Together (USWNT x Reader)

Request: team x reader where r gets hurt (needs crutches) during practice and the team is of course really worried for her and r stops eating and is upset and takes it out on the team the rest of camp (because she doesn’t think she can make it back in time for Tokyo) but it gets resolved after reader is crying and team is there to comfort her? (maybe some christen x reader) could you also do at the end where the reader either gets named to the roster/ the first game since injury?

You stared unseeingly at the hotel room ceiling, the doctor's words rolling endlessly through your mind. It was an accident, you knew that and you still loved Ali, but the situation fucking sucked. It wicked that her tackle had been late. It sucked that your ankle had gone in the opposite direction of your body. It really sucked that you had needed surgery to fix the compound fracture that had resulted in the collision. And it Really Really fucking sucked that you would “be lucky to walk without a limp for the rest of your life, much less run around on a field,”. 

You were only 22, and the doctor had basically but a death sentence on your career. The only reason you hadn’t been sent home was that your team moms Kelley and Alex hadn’t made the argument that there was no one there to take care of you. It would have been easier if they had let you leave. Then at least you would have more time to figure out how to tell them that you were never going to play soccer again. 

A knock sounded from the hotel room door, and you glanced at it for a few seconds, before retiring your attention to counting the texture in the ceiling, contemplating what the fuck you were supposed to do with the rest of your life. 

The knocking stopped for a second, before starting up louder. Maybe if you didn’t respond, they would think you were asleep and leave you alone. You didn’t want visitors right now anyway. No one else deserved to have the rest of their camp ruined with your sour mood. You needed to make them hate you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left. When they stopped talking to you because you weren’t useful anymore. When you lost the only family you had ever had. 

But the telltale click of the door lock told you that the women would not be so easily deterred. You didn’t bother to look at the women as they slid into bed beside you, Kelley on your left and Alex on your right. 

“What ya looking at kiddo?” Kelley asked, nudging your shoulder softly. 

“Just thinking,” You shrugged, your eyes never leaving the ceiling, even as Alex drew circles on your cheeks with her fingers, sharing worried looks with Kelley. Their little ray of sun was even more cloudy than it had been when they left earlier. One of them should have stayed with you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, trying to coax you to finally look at her. 

You bite your lip, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to get the words past the lump in your throat. 

“I can’t play,” 

You could practically feel Alex’s eye roll at the statement. And you frowned. She didn’t understand that this wasn’t just a temporary thing. 

“Don’t worry about that right now sweetie. Just worry about getting better,” She murmured, using a careful finger to tilt your head so you were making eye contact with her. You stared into her concerned blue eyes, praying that she couldn’t see just how much pain you were in. She didn’t need that burden. 

“Yeah ducky, just work on getting better and you’ll be tearing up the field with us again in no time,” Kelley added, propping her head on your shoulder. You rolled your eyes, nodding slightly. 

Normally they would have attacked you with tickles to get you to smile, but this time they didn’t. They simply sat up and offered you their hands. Even they had given up on you already, what was going to happen when they found out that you were useless to them now. 

“Now, dinners ready and you already skipped lunch today,” Alex said softly as you stared at their hands in discontent. 

“Wasn’t hungry,” You grumbled. The truth was that you didn’t want to confront your new reality. You wanted to stay in your little bubble and pretend that everything was going to work out fine. 

“Sure you weren’t,” Kelley laughed, growing tired of your resistance to them, and grabbing your shoulder to force you into a sitting position. 

“What we mean is that you’re not getting out of it,” Alex shot Kelley a disapproving look, but helped Kelley hoist you up. Her forehead wrinkled when you didn’t laugh at their antics, and instead just crossed your arms. 

“I hate you guys,” You huffed, pouting. 

“No you don’t, now, up you get,” Kelley laughed, kissing your cheek. 

“I can do it myself,” You hissed once you were sitting upright. You grabbed your crutches and forced yourself to your feet. The crutches rubbed uncomfortably against your ribs, but you ignored it. You didn’t need any more help. You didn’t need to give them any more reason to leave you. 

“Stubborn as always,” Kelley sighed, opening the door for you, and you held in your groan. They probably wouldn’t even miss you. 

The ride to the dining room was spent in uncomfortable silence. Neither woman quite sure how to broach the subject of your foul mood. 

“Hey gimpy, need help with your plate,” Ashlyn smiled, clapping you on the shoulder and nearly knocking you over. Kelley glared at her, reaching out a hand to steady you. 

“I got it,” You grumbled, shrugging off their steadying hands and beginning to maneuver yourself towards the food table. You didn’t want to eat (what was the point) but if you didn’t, they would make an even bigger deal than they already were. 

They watched you struggle for a moment, trying to balance a plate and hobble along the food table. Ali sighed, standing and making her way over to you.

“I’ll help you, this is my fault after all,” she said softly, grabbing the plate before you dumped its contents onto the floor by accident. 

“I said I got it,” You huffed, looking away from the woman, frowning as Christen joined you. God, you weren’t a child. You could get a plate of food by yourself. Ignoring the good intentions of your crush, you ground your teeth toge

“Is this all you’re going to eat? You need to keep your strength up kid,” Kelley scoffed at your choice of three dinosaur nuggets. 

“Like it matters now? I can’t play so what’s the point,” You grumbled, ripping the plate out of Ali’s hand and struggling to the closest seat. Christen sat down heavily beside you, followed by Ali, Ash, Kelley and Alex. 

“I’m sorry Y/n,” Ali whispered. It killed her to see you so distraught. To know that she was the reason you were so upset. 

You glanced up from your nuggets, making eye contact with the woman. You took note of the pained crinkles by her eyes. She didn’t have a right to be in pain. You were the one who just had their future destroyed. 

“I know,” You shrugged halfheartedly, playing with your nuggets rather than eating them. 

“You sound super convincing,” Ashlyn rolled her eyes. 

“Well, what would you like me to say?” You snipped back, quirking your eyebrow up at her. 

“We’re not your enemy babe,” Christen soothed, rubbing you back. 

“I know I’m just-.” You huffed, shaking your head frustratedly. What were you? You were angry, sad, a complete and total washout now. What was the point? You paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. To do what needed to be done. It would hurt less in the end. “I’m tired and not hungry and I just wanna go to bed,” You finished, staring down at your untouched nuggets. Your hands fidgeted in your lap for a second before you reached for your crutches. 

Your fingertips brushed the dreaded walking device at the wrong angle, sending it crashing to the ground. Just like your dreams. You shoved your plate away, leaning as far as you could in your chair to retrieve the crutch, only for the other one to join it on the floor. You glared at the items, oblivious to the worried mother hens watching you fall apart over being unable to get them on your own. 

It was Christen who took potty on you, lifting the crutches off the floor and presenting them to you. “Let me help you,” she smiled sadly, and you grit your teeth. Your cheeks flamed red as you grabbed the items. 

“Aw kid, don’t feel bad, we all need a little help sometimes,” Ashlyn smiled kindly. The rage and embarrassment boiled inside you. They didn’t fucking get it. 

“Im not a fucking invalid. I don’t need your fucking help. I don’t need these or anything else,” You growled, throwing your crutch across the room and into the food fable with a crash, the other on suffering the same fate as you forced yourself to stand. Pain shot down your leg, but you ignored it, determined to prove to them all that you could do it yourself. 

The room sat in stunned silence. They knew you were upset, but you had never ever lashed out like this before. 

Christen was the first person to jump into action. She held her hands out as she approached you, as if you were a wounded puppy she needed to show she meant no harm. 

“Babe, don’t, you’ll just make it worse and if you ever wanna come back..-“ she tried softly, wrapping her arm under your armpit in an attempt to prevent you from putting weight on your injured foot. You shrugged her off, taking a bold (and excruciatingly painful step forward). What was the point. You would never see the pitch again anyway. 

“You just don’t fucking get it so you? I’ll never ever get to come back. That sloppy tackle made it so I’ll be lucky to walk normally again, much less kick a fucking ball,” You spat, tears finally making their way down your face. 

You could feel the weight of the teams putting gaze. The heaviness that filled the room, like a wave of realization crashing over them. You kept your eyes on the floor, you hand clenching and unclenching around nothing, eating for them to disown you. For the next logical step to happen. 

“Y/n,” Ali started, tears evident in her voice, but your venomous scowl stopped her. “I’m fucking useless now, so just fucking drop it, alright?!” 

You attempted to take another step, using the chair as support, and forcing yourself forward. You nearly collapsed as your full weight landed on your very injured foot. You were stubborn, and you were determined to give them a reason for you to stay. You wobbled, nearly keeling over from the pain, gritting your teeth to stop the anguished cry from threatening to spill out. 

You pulled yourself back upright, about to take another step away from the chair supporting you, but soft calming hands on your shoulders stopped you. “Y/n Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself, more, and then we’ll have even bigger odds to beat,” Christen murmured into your ear, hugging you back into her chest and supporting your weight as she sat back into a chair and pulled you into her lap.  

“Yeah kid, fuck what the doctors say. You’re amazing and so stubborn that I dare them to try and keep you down,” Kelley added, coming to kneel in front of you, her hand in your knee. 

“Plus you’ve got all of us behind you, no matter what,” Alex said, coming up behind her. A sob ripped from your throat. That was your greatest fear. That they would leave you. Your family only tolerated you when they wanted something when you were successful, so you thought your soccer family would feel the same. 

“You promise?” You asked softly. 

“Absolutely kid,” Alex and Kelley said together firmly. You nodded and allowed the women to hold you as you cried. You would all get through this. Together. 

*****

You bounced lightly on your feet, cracking your neck as you waited for the match to start. There had been a tremendous amount of time and effort put into this moment. Hours upon hours of rehab, soccer training and therapy, but here you were in the starting 11 for the Olympic finals. 

“You ready baby?”  Christen hummed, her arms wrapping around you, kissing your cheek before resting her chin on your shoulder. 

You smiled, grabbing her hand. The woman had been instrumental in your recovery, and though it had taken you an embarrassingly, long time to ask her out, you had sacked up. You loved the woman so much that it scared you, and now she was your girlfriend (bum leg or not). “Always baby,” 

You had come a long way, and you had so much further to go. You would win like you always did. Together. 

[kayr0ss]

Appointments Chapter 5: Headaches and Some Music

[LWA, Diakko, Small Town AU, Fluff and Slow Romance, Pining™ lol]  

Chapter 1 & Table of Contents AO3 Link

Diana pursed her lips, locked in a heated stare-down against the newest occupant of her apartment.

“Please behave yourself until I return.”

The cat ‘mew’ed’ in reply as though he understood and resumed licking the back of his paw. All things considered, he seemed to be a surprisingly well-behaved cat. Who looked polite. This small comfort was enough to make up for the ridiculousness of having to talk to a cat, and Diana realized that she had never been more excited to return to her clinic as she was now.

The normalcy of work, she thought to herself, is beginning to feel like a comfort versus the absurdity of my home’s current state of affairs.

She stepped through her doorway into a lovely Blytonbury morning. The habitual glance towards her watch read 09:51, urging her to walk at a quicker pace than usual. She regrettably strode right by Jasminka’s café—there was no time to pass by tea, and she hadn’t woken up early enough to make some for herself that morning.

Of course, because of the cat.

The day prior, she’d had to return home later than usual to fetch her feline tenant the basic supplies: a small can of cat-food, a litterbox, and two bowls for food and milk. The real challenge was in the ‘teaching him not to leave any form of excrement where he shouldn’t.’ Pleasant behavior aside, it seemed Toby was actually quite intelligent—although by the time it was two o’clock in the morning, her NewTube suggestions were a peculiar mix of medical lectures and ‘How to Potty Train Your Cat’ videos.

She made her way through the crosswalk—ensuring that no brunettes were running about—and mentally prepared herself for the day she was about to have. There were no scheduled patients before lunch, giving her enough time to review case files for a busy afternoon.

When she stepped through the glass door to her clinic, Barbara was already lounging behind her desk and flipping—as usual—through a novel.

“Good morning,” she peaked out from behind ‘NightFall 12: The Oblivion of Love’. “You’re on the dot today.”

“I always am,” Diana replied lightly. “Good morning to you as well.”

“You’re always at least fifteen minutes early,” Barbara corrected, smiling kindly. Then the nurse leaned forward, scrutinizing Diana with an observant gaze. “You’re…”

The blonde lifted her eyebrow in silent response.

“Something.” Barbara said slowly, as if trying to figure a puzzle out. She waved a hand to dismiss the thought. “Must have been my imagination, just thought there was something off. Anyway, I’ve laid down the patient files for the afternoon. We’ve got ourselves a slow morning.”

“Thank you,” Diana nodded politely, slipping into her whitecoat and thankful that she didn’t have to explain the kind of morning (and evening) she’d had. She settled into her chair, entertaining the thought of going through the documents Barbara had prepared before deciding she wasn’t in the right headspace for that. A headache. Massing her temples, she ascribed her irritability at a lack of sleep and constant worrying over her furniture’s wellbeing. She inwardly cursed her lack of morning tea—and really hoped her furniture were okay.

Learning back with a sigh, her eyes drifted towards a pamphlet at the edge of her table. It was the St. Beatrix MMC residency brochure on Cardiology. She’d probably read its contents nearly ten times over by now. In truth, the hospital had already reached out to her: she was “everything they were looking for”, or so the chief resident had said—a young doctor with an impeccable educational background. Diana had been truly grateful, but she was committed to taking the time she’d need to be absolutely sure. Which she wasn’t. At least, not yet.

There was a knock on her door, and Barbara was peeking through the doorframe. “Water. And an aspirin. Because for some reason you look—uh.”

“Off?” Diana tilted her head.

“Like shit.” Barbara nodded, and Diana would have had something to say about her choice of language if it weren’t for the fact that she was probably right. “Did anything happen?”

“Just a few issues to iron over at home,” she replied cryptically.

Barbara looked like she wanted to ask more, but decided not to prod. “That won’t do. We’re having lunch over at the Russian lady’s and getting those croissants you love so much, but in the meantime drink that Advil because someone’s gotta look after the doctor looking after everyone else.”

Diana smiled and felt a wave of gratitude pour through her over Barbara’s thoughtfulness.

“Which reminds me,” the other woman set the items down to Diana’s desk, “the cat’s gone.”

The blonde immediately looked down at the suddenly-very-interesting-patient-files. “I—Indeed.”

“You know, I think I’ll actually miss him. He was kind of cute.”

Diana was ready to remind her of the importance of workplace cleanliness when the front bell chimed louder than usual. The glass pane of the door practically swung open with force.

“Heya, doc! And miss nurse!”

Oh.

Barbara was the first to recover. “Where did you fall in this time? Was it a ditch? Or did you fly off your bike again?”

Atsuko Kagari-with-blood-ty—Oh, enough of that! She’s just Akko!—had come barging in with a large paper bag, effectively elevating Diana’s headache through several numbers up the VNRS pain scale.

“I—” Akko shot the nurse a smug look “—have yet to experience an accident this week!”

“That’s a first,” Barbara crossed her arms.

“But I’m here for you!”

Those stunning red eyes locked themselves onto Diana, and suddenly she couldn’t speak. Me? The brunette strode into her office. She dropped the paper bag onto her desk.

“I’m not quite sure I follow. What is this?”

“Child support!”

Diana flinched. Barbara blinked. Akko simply nodded to herself in smug satisfaction.

“For Toby. Since we’re co-parents now.” Akko clarified, looking completely serious. “There’s a bunch of cat food that should last a while, a cute mouse squeaky toy, and animal milk.”

The blonde felt her ears redden at the incredulous look Barbara was giving her, and seriously—was this seriously happening right now? “C—Co-parents?”

“Yes.” Akko nodded with a determined glint in her eyes. “And I’m no deadbeat mom!”

“I—I see.”

“Anyway,” Akko took one of the pens from Diana’s stand without asking (“Don’t do that.”), and leaned over to write on the blank prescription pad on the blonde’s desk. “Here’s my number so you can text me about anything he needs and so we can arrange my visitation rights!”

Visitation rights?

“Oh.” Akko paused, lifting her thumb to her chin. “We probably need to schedule a trip to the vet and get him a collar, too.”

We?

Not knowing what else to say and still completely blindsided by Akko’s—well, everything—Diana simply complied. “I… know a veterinarian. He’s a childhood friend.”

“Perfect!” Akko beamed.

Once again, it was disarming. She really had to stop doing that to Diana.

“I’ve got to study for a test so I gotta bounce but I’m so excited to see him again!” Akko leaned across the table, moving around at a pace faster than Diana’s sleep-deprived-due-to-Toby’s mind could follow. The brunette wrapped her hand around her forearm and gave her another smile. It was warm. “But really—thank you Diana! I’ll see you around!”

She turned on her heel like the bundle of energy she was and bolted right out the door with a wave to Barbara.

Barbara—who looked right about ready to explode into laughter in the wake of Akko’s departure.

“You kept him.”

“Please don’t.” Diana pleaded.

The nurse finally caved, leaning against the doorframe to her office for support while she snickered. “That’s why you look completely out of it! You’ve got to tell me everything.”

But then the thudding sound of footsteps interrupted their conversation yet again and the door swung open. Poor thing. Might need to have its hinges checked at this point.

“I almost forgot!” Akko came bursting into the room like a cannon ball. “I got this on my way here for you!”

She slammed a paper take-out cup from Jasminka’s café onto Diana’s desk.

“I have no idea what it is to be honest.” Akko yelled, already rushing back out in a hurry. “I just asked Jas for a cup of whatever your usual is! Okay-bye-for-real!”

She was gone in a flash. Diana could smell tea.

English Breakfast, prepared exactly the way she liked it. The aroma was enough to chase away the tension along her brow, and when she glanced towards Barbara, who looked just as lost as she felt—

—they shared soft laughter.

The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. Including the fact that her cup was labeled: ‘Dr. Grumpy >:(’

 ---

 It was 5:30PM and Akko was in despair.

“Chikusho! That was a disaster.” Akko banged her head against the lecture room desk. She was reeling from the mental assault that was ‘Applied Physics Examination 1.’ Judging by the scowl on Sucy’s usually nonchalant face, it hit her pretty hard too. “How’d you do?”

“Tanginang test ‘yan.” She glowered in her native language.

“I’m going to assume that was a string of curse words.”

“For once in your idiot life, you are correct.”

“Mou!” Akko huffed.

“I’m out.” Sucy declared, and likewise, every fiber in Akko’s being wanted to get the hell out of this classroom as soon as possible. The purple-haired girl lazily slung her bag over shoulder and looked down at Akko (who was still very much slumped over the desk) through one eye. “So are you coming or should I leave you behind?”

Akko groaned. And then sighed. And then groaned another time while pointing towards the podium because—“First I have to walk over there and ask if she wants to join the running club.”

“The professor?” Sucy blinked.

“Ya, dude.”

Then Sucy was grinning daggers. “I think I’m gonna stick by and see if she’ll actually murder you this time.”

“Not funny!” Akko pouted while finally standing up and cursing the fact that she can no longer exist as a worry-free blob on a desk.

“It is. A little. Now go.” Sucy prodded on, repeatedly poking at her arm.

“Going, going!”

While the students slowly filed out of the room—in despair, mind you—Akko approached Dr. Meridies with Sucy lingering a safe distance behind her.

The lilac-haired professor looked up from a test sheet she was inspecting, looking, as one would say, way too tired for this shit. “No amount of begging is going to convince me to pass you.”

“I wasn’t going to!” Akko crossed her arms defiantly.

“Then why are we having this conversation?”

Well. There wasn’t any other way for this to go down than directly, so it was best to just blurt it out. “Do you want to join the running club?”

Dr. Meridies reeled, squinting. “The running club?”

“Yes.” Akko nodded. “The running club.”

“So many people are asking me to join this running club that I think I’m gonna start declining just out of spite.”

“Ugh!” Akko groaned. “I tried—can’t force you! Maybe Professor du Nord can, Kami-sama, why did I even both—”

“Wait wait wait—” Dr. Meridies raised a hand to shut Akko while scowling. “du Nord?”

“Yeah,” Akko said looked to the side with slumped shoulders, “the club moderator. And I’m here cause Diana asked so now that I’ve done that I’m just gonna boun—”

Oddly enough, the exasperated professor seemed to have tuned out. “Chariot du Nord, from Humanities?”

“Uh, yeah.” The brunette blinked. “Do you know her?”

“O—Of course.” The older woman began stare so hard at the table she could have burned a hole through. “Faculty and all.”

Akko caught on like a wolf, grinning mischievously. “You know her!”

“Like I said we both teach—”

“You know know her.”

“Out!” Dr. Meridies barked, “of my classroom!”

With a devious glint, which Akko swore she could see in Sucy’s eyes too, she waved in exaggerated politeness and made her way to the door.

“Okay, professor!” Oh, she loved this sort of drama! “Just saying—it’s on Monday evenings!”

--

“You should have seen her face!” Akko squealed with almost manic glee. “Oh, Lotte you’re gonna love it—I know you’re a sucker for this kind of stuff.”

“But I can’t imagine it! How does Professor du Nord—” Lotte gestured towards her life with both hands for emphasis “—who seems super sweet and kind of introverted but is generally made of sunshine, find herself with a history of romantic involvement with someone like Dr. Meridies—” she made a quick jerking motion towards the right. “Who I haven’t actually seen in person, and if I were to base my judgments off your descriptions she sounds like some mad-scientist antagonist in an anime who’d wear a cape.”

Akko blinked. “That’s a good one.”

Sucy actually nodded.

“It makes no sense!” Lotte shook her head. And then… she swooned. “But love never does, does it?”

“Makes about as much as sense as this idiot getting that doctor to adopt the cat.”

“’The cat’ is named Toby!” Akko chided, “and you’d be hard-pressed to deny him if you’ve seen that cute little face of his.”

The three women were lazing about Lotte and Sucy’s living-and-dining area, with Akko sprawled across the couch that she’d be sleeping on since the pair—or just Lotte—invited her to stay over. There was take-out and beer (which Sucy and Akko had picked up on their way home), and the mini-get-together served two purposes: to recover from that horrid examination, and to keep Akko company because “tomorrow’s my first day of work and I am way too nervous to fall asleep without beer or Lotte nagging me to!”

There was something deeply comfortable about the small apartment. The furnishing didn’t match up and yet every piece felt like they belonged. Pots and pans hung above the stove, used yet well-maintained. They always had an extra set of everything—as though guests were welcome and often come and go. She loved it. And loved how welcome she felt in it. And though she’d never impose unless invited, Akko felt… cozy. Books, and mushrooms, and odd test-tubes, and literary manuscripts and all.

Lotte was in the middle of sharing the gist of her latest writing exercise when Akko felt her phone buzz.

“Hold on,” she excused herself, “I swear if this is a Canvas notification I’m gonna cut a bi—oh!”

“What is it?” Lotte asked.

-

18:53 Good evening. This Dr. Cavendish’s number – I’ve been able to secure an appointment with Dr. Hanbridge, the veterinarian I had mentioned. I apologize for the short notice but his soonest availability is tomorrow at around 1:30PM. Check-up aside, an agent in his clinic should likewise be able to assist with any documentation that needs sorting out given our arrangement. Your prompt response will be appreciated.

18:54 Heeeya Doc! 😊 u sound like an e-mail. :P

18:54 But sure lol I get off work @ Arcturus school around lunch time

18:55 Is it gonna be far?

18:55 But srsly lighten up abit it’s just me we can me at the bus stop or whrvr

18:56 I’ll be hailing a taxi service from my home and will collect you from your workplace at 12:30PM. Please be on time.

18:56 PLS add me on WhatsUpp through this number PLS omg I want pics of my little bby!!!! DO U FEED HIM and I can send you memes to show him so he’ll laugh LOL

18:56 LOL wtf ‘collect’

-

“It was Diana.”

Sucy cocked an eyebrow, “’Diana’?”

“I have a vet trip with Toby tomorrow!” Akko buzzed. “Oh bother, now I’m never going to get any sleep.”

“Is she for real?” Sucy indifferently pointed towards Akko while speaking to Lotte. “She’s like some ‘instant-friendship’ anomaly. Even I feel personally victimized.”

Lotte only smiled. “You have to sleep lest you subject poor children to a zombie for a teacher tomorrow.”

“That’s mean!”

Akko shared a laugh with Lotte, urging her to carry on with her story. They were getting to the good part—Edmund was about to confess!

One successful synopsis reading and a few topic changes later, Akko’s phone had buzzed once more.

It was a picture.

She squealed so hard her cheeks hurt.

“Akko, down! Yes—I see him—stop screaming or else I’m going to poison your drink.”

 -

 The driver pulled up at Arcturus School’s main driveway at exactly half-past noon.

“Please wait a moment.” Diana politely requested, mildly aware of the fact that she was beginning to miss the luxury of having her own car and service.

“Sure, just don’t leave me alone with that little fella, don’t matter how cute he might be.”

With a sigh—which was one of many at this point—she gently peered over to Toby whose head was poking out of the most comfortable canvas tote bag she could scavenge. It was that or nothing at all, and no, she wasn’t going to carry him in her arms.

‘Mew.’ He stared back up towards her. At least he seemed comfortable—and she tried to fight it but then she gave in and chuckled.

“Oh, come on then.”

Diana stepped out of the vehicle with Toby in tow. She pulled out her phone, putting a call through for the latest addition in her phonebook.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Typical. She wasn’t picking up.

Fortunately she had anticipated this, there was a half-hour allowance in her schedule. Instead of bombarding the brunette with several missed calls, she opted to walk towards what looked like the waiting area where children were fetched. She took a moment to look around, noticing that the school grounds had an abundance of trees—much like the rest of Blytonbury and the campus of LNU. The morning classes were dismissed and children ran about. A few of them began to notice her special baggage, and one little girl ran up to her and nearly hugged her legs.

She had hazel eyes, and big, goofy grin. “You’re so pretty!”

Diana blinked. “Thank you.”

“Is that a cat?”

“Yes.” She lowered the bag a little, appreciating the wonder in the little girl’s voice. “But I can’t let you pet him yet, I’m afraid. He still bites.”

“But I—”

The little girl was cut-off by the sounded children cheering. Diana followed her line of sight and saw…

Akko.

She was playing music. And laughing. But more than that—everyone around her was smiling just as bright. Children sang while they danced in a circle around her, clapping their hands to the beat of what sounded like a ridiculously complicated rendition of the ABCs on the violin. The pace was quick while she played a progression of eight and sixteenth notes. The feel of the song was less classical and more like an upbeat Celtic dance.

And dance they did. Laughing, and clapping, and bouncing around in mirth without a care in the world.

Akko played with such joy and passion that Diana could feel the warmth from several meters away. She kept still—already forgetting her earlier dismay on being behind schedule—and simply watched.

“Do you know her?” The little girl with hazel eyes asked in a small voice.

Diana nodded, smiling to herself while trying to wrap her head around the conundrum that was Atsuko Kagari—who had red eyes, who tripped over nothing and scraped her knee, who could barely make it to her classes on time and yet could bewitch a crowd with a smile and a bit of music.

“She’s…”  

Even Toby looked he was watching.

“…my friend.”

 -

end chapter

-

A/N: Hello everyone! Hope you're doing well, stayin' safe and staying home. So anyway here's another chapter and admittedly I only have a very rough outline of where I want this story to be and well... I like writing one shots because I'm REALLY bad at plotting out longer stuff like seriously, when I started this, I thought it would be 5 chapters long at most and yet here's chapter 5.

So I've decided to just go with it and take the time to explore and narrate the relationships/interactions I've got in my head AND I don't know anything about taking care of cats I AM SORRY IT PROBABLY SHOWS

Hope you're enjoying it so far! (AND I still owe Diana a happy birthday fic that may or may not involve feet due to some shenaginas I've seen on tumblr which I don't know if are jokes or not)

[himbowelsh]

So I’m making this anonymous only because I don’t want to feel I’m looking for too much attention, but my dog died today completely unexpectedly and I feel like shit 😰 could I pretty please request something with Easy and dogs. If this is not your forte I totally understand ☺️

Oh god, darling, I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is a pain unlike any other, almost like losing a part of yourself...  as much as you’re hurting right now, just remember your dog always knew they were loved, and loved you back just as much. You gave your pup a great life, and wherever they are now, they still love you.

If you’re looking for Easy and dogs, I have a few fics you might like:

baberoe has a dog incident

luztoye has another dog incident

bullmartin and yet another dog incident

winnix has a colorful dog incident (soulmate au!)

not a fic, but a very accurate edit of easy co as dogs

And here’s something soft and puppyish...  hopefully it makes you feel better!

Sometimes people seek out a new pet; sometimes, they have pet-parenthood thrust upon them.

In Joe Liebgott’s case, it happens literally. Someone leaves a wine box on the floor of his cab; he notices a few minutes after he drops the guy off, and he’s just doubling back to try and find him when the box starts squeaking.

Joe almost crashes the car.

As if turns out, the box’s precious cargo isn’t liquor, but...  puppies. An absurd amount of puppies. Mind you, Joe’s never owned a dog in his life, so more than two puppies seems like an absurd amount to him, and there’s gotta be, like...  six in here. Six squirming balls of fur, can’t be more than a few weeks old. Their eyes are hardly open yet. They’re climbing over each other to escape the box as soon as Joe opens it...  but everything they can’t say, the sharpie scribbled on the inside of the cardboard speaks for itself.

FREE PUPPIES, DO NOT RETURN

Which...  shit. Shit. Joe races through all the possibilities in his mind. The guy didn’t give his name, and paid in cash. He dropped him off at the airport. He could be damn anywhere right now!

And god help him if Joe has the first clue what to do with literal infant dogs.

Logic tells him, “go to the animal hospital now,” but he’s never been there in his life  ---  and aren’t those places overcrowded anyway? They’re in the middle of Santa Monica, there’ve got to be multiple animal shelters around, but god help him if he knows where any are...

Joe goes home. He panics, okay?

He has to sneak past the doorman, through the lobby, and into the elevator with a very conspicuous wine box that keeps making noises. The old lady from the fourth floor glares at him the whole ride up, and Joe can only nod his head at her while a tiny head pokes out a hole in the cardboard.

Web isn’t home, for once, because he has a lunch date with his editor; Joe almost wishes he was, because having someone else to bounce off of in this situation would be a great thing. Left to his own devices, however, he does the only thing he can think of; pulls the spare comforter out of the closet, lays it down in the empty bathtub, and dumps the pups in. After some consideration, he adds one of Web’s shark plushies, because the pups are tiny and probably missing their mother.

Their mother...  shit, they need their mom, don’t they? Pups that small can’t be without their mom, he knows he saw that on Animal Planet somewhere...

And, because Joe’s got the panic instincts of a twelve year old boy, he calls the one person who definitely knows what to do with a baby: his mom.

Mama Liebgott makes it to the apartment in twenty minutes. Ten minutes later, she’s setting up a heating pad in the puppies’ nest, while Joe scours the internet for how to care for newborn puppies. Mama calls in the troops  ---  Joe’s sisters are on their way. 

They send Joe out of the apartment with a list; when he comes back, his arms are weighed down with shopping bags, filled with formula, eyedroppers, puppy toys, and anything else little dogs could possibly need. Joe Liebgott is never one to half-ass shenanigans; he goes all-out.

Webster comes home to...  chaos.

Their bathroom has been turned into an improvised NICU, their apartment’s been sanitized and baby-proofed to high-hell, Joe’s mother and sisters are lounging around the living room with tiny bundles of something in their arms...

And in the middle of the chaos, Joe’s standing there, a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms, bouncing it and cooing softly.

“Yeah, you’re a tough one, arencha, little buddy? Yeah...  I see it in ya. You’re a fighter. We’re gonna take good care of you, I promise...”

He has no clue what the hell is going on, but Webster melts. To the floor. Literally, his legs get a little weak.

“Uh  ---  Lieb? You wanna explain what on earth’s h---  is that a dog?”

Joe just grins. He’s never been an animal person in his life, but now he looks like he’s in heaven. “Dogs,” he declares. “We’ve got dogs, Web.”’

Webster has entered the Twilight Zone.

When they take them to the vet (Webster’s idea, because he actually has common sense), the puppies are given a clean bill of health, but as they’re definitely too young to be separated from their mother, there’s a laundry list of things that must be done to take care of them. The vet offers to take the puppies off their hands, and Webster has a brief moment of overwhelming relief, before Joe answers, “Thank you, but we got this.”

Webster drops his coffee all over the exam room floor. “We?” He demands, too shocked to form a cohesive sentence. “We?”

Joe’s eyes flash. “Fine, Web. You don’t gotta be involved, I’ll take care of ‘em myself. Found ‘em in my car, after all.”

“I live with you, asshole!”

And that’s how Webster and Liebgott become Dog Moms.

Of course Web’s going to help. He’s not a monster. He’s actually a pretty decent person, when push comes to shove...  and, once the Liebgott Crisis Team have all returned to their respective homes, he can’t bear to leave Joe to look after the babies by himself.

The worst part is, he’s not even a dog person. Suddenly, he and Joe are being kept up at all hours by a league of puppies. They’re so young that they can’t eat solid food yet, so it’s a round-the-clock task to keep them fed and looked after. 

Of course, Joe takes to the task like a diligent soldier, following every direction the vet gave them to a ‘t’. He takes a week off work, devoting himself 24/7 to the puppies’ care. It’s a lot on him. By the end of the fourth day, he’s been run ragged, dark shadows under his eyes and exhaustion knitting his brow. Web makes him some tea, settles him down on the couch, and massages his shoulders until Joe falls asleep. Then he takes on the task of feeding all six puppies by himself.

He gets peed on. Thrice.

It’s still worth it. After a few weeks, the puppies don’t need to be fed so frequently...  and they’re growing enough that there’s no more containing them in the bathtub. Joe and Web set up a puppy playpen that ends up taking up most of their living room, and set the kids loose. 

By now, the pups are old enough to wreak havoc, and starting to develop their own personalities. Shelley and Rocko have a talent for getting into everything, Byron is a biter, Goblin has no coordination and keeps tripping over his oversized feet, Fiona cries when either of them leave her alone, and Greg...  Greg is an escape artist. (Bonus points for guessing who named who. They got three pups each.)

Their house becomes a hub of curious friends and relatives. Tab and Shifty are over nearly every day to play with the pups; Joe’s youngest sister Amy keeps coming over too, and Tab won’t stop hitting on her; they wake up one morning to find Luz passed out in the Puppy Pit, tiny dogs clambering all over him, and no one knows how the hell he got in their house. Suddenly Joe and Web are the most popular guys in town.

It’s...  weird. Webster’s never been popular before. He’s not sure he likes it.

Weeks turn into months, and at some point, the pups are big enough to clamber around the apartment unaided. The vet estimates they’re twelve weeks old now, and keeping them inside is becoming a big challenge. Their building doesn’t allow dogs, for one, and they have to keep sneaking them past the concierge; potty training is becoming a living nightmare; and frankly, the dogs are getting too big to be cooped up inside all the time. Six newborn puppies is one thing, but six growing dogs...  different story.

They need to get rid of the dogs.

Thankfully, they’ve got no shortage of volunteers. Joe’s mom takes Goblin “for protection”, even if Goblin’s the clumsiest little monster that’s ever walked the face of the earth. Luz and Rocko have bonded, so he takes him home. Tab would probably adopt them all if he could, but since he can’t (Trigger is a handful already) Shifty lovingly takes on Shelley. oddly enough, Speirs has formed a special attachment to Fiona, cradling her like a baby and doting on her ever chance he gets, so he gets her. Rocko is a little evil, but he’s cute, and Nixon is a sucker for a cute face, so he gets the chaos demon.

That leaves them with Byron. Freaking Byron.

“Figures we’d get left with the one dog with the worst goddamn name  ---”

Joe has a soft spot for Byron. They both like to bite things, growl when they’re angry, and pass out in strange places, so it’s a great fit.

Letting a dog into their lives wasn’t something either of them planned on; but sometimes fate intervenes, and you never know when it will be for the better.

Cuddled up on the couch, with Joe dozing against his shoulder and Byron a heavy weight between them both, Web finds that he doesn’t regret a thing.

[geminimoonbeamx]

Home, Again: Chapter One

A/N: Soooo, if you know me at all you know that thick Bucky is my religion and I love him with all of my heart. These new pictures of Sebastian on the set of ‘Devil All The Time’ have got me twisted. Literally I’ve been fawning over them for days. That man is too much for me and my libido and this is the product of that.

Word Count: 2k+

Rating: This particular chapter is pretty mild, lots of cursing mostly- the next chapter, and the ones to come after that will be extremely explicit though so get your bodies ready.

Summary: Moving back home was never in her itinerary, but after the loss of a family member and being fired from her job, she finds herself back in the town she grew up in and face to face with the man who’d haunted her teenage wet dreams. Now in her early twenties, maybe she can do something to make those dreams a reality.

A Plus Size Reader x Dad!Cop!Thick!Bucky Barnes story

It’s a surreal moment for you- waking up in your old room. The one that you’d grown up in, that you hadn't spent more than a couple nights at a time in- in the last six years.

Like some weird, out of body experience. Looking at the ceiling through blurry, sleep bogged eyes, with the sun shining clear and bright through the curtains fills your stomach with nostalgia that makes you feel like you might barf. 

You sit up, trudge to the bathroom, half feeling like you’re about to get ready for school or something- about to but on your Volleyball uniform or something.

While you're brushing your teeth you can't manage to drag your eyes away from your reflection. The bags under your eyes, that are ever present, seem to be deeper. Probably from all the moving you’d done in the past couple of days.

Picking up your entire life, and moving it from Brooklyn all the way back to Springs Port had not been easy.

Luckily your friends had been game for the three hour drive, and the little bit of heavy lifting(Pietro and Quill we’re life savers) when it came to your bed and room furniture. You’d sold your couches and tables. You didn't have your own place anymore, didn't know when you would again and since you we’re currently unemployed, you could use all of the extra cash that you could get.

That was you:

Living back at home. Job less. And broke- because you used that almost all of that furniture money to rent the U-Haul.

In that moment, with those harsh truths, you can't manage to look at your reflection anymore.

After taking a shower and getting ready- contouring and highlighting and concealing all of your self hate away, you do feel a bit better. It was a coping mechanism, yes. But You needed to be presentable anyways, you think.

You’re fine. You are fine, Y/N. Everything’s fine.

If you keep repeating it, and accept it as your reality, you’ll feel better, right?

You linger on that thought as you eat breakfast, which is a definite perk of being back home. Your grandmother stands near the stove- a pan hot and the kitchen full of the delectable smells of not only the omelets she was stirring up, but the crock pot that had who knows what already brewing.

Also, the ever present, and pungent herby smell of marijuana that followed her ever since her accident undercurrents that.

It sure beat the instant oatmeal you used to eat mornings back in the city.

“That smells so ridiculously good” You start as you slide onto one of the chairs at the kitchen bar “Also, good morning, Grams”

“Good morning, baby bird. You’re up early” She comments, as she gives you a knowing side eye “Or did you not sleep at all last night?”

There's honestly no use lying to her. She’d always had this sixth sense when it came to that- it had made your childhood a bitch.

“I slept. A little bit” you defend yourself, pouring yourself the cucumber orange juice she’d made. Sounds weird- is actually extremely refreshing. She likes to make weird concoctions with the fruits and vegetables she grows in her garden.

You get another one of those all knowing looks.

“Okay I didn't sleep as much as I could have, but I was just getting everything else unpacked. I’m finally done” you punctuate with an innocent shrug.

“You unpacked all those boxes? Y/N Y/M/N, there was about twenty of them. You’re not supposed to get unpacked in 24 hours, you need to give yourself time to process this change in your life. I really thought that indica was going to help. You should’a been knocked on your ass” She tells you as she plates up your food and sets it in front of you.

You thank her, and bite your tongue about the whole “processing” thing. She’d been all about that lately- since Grandma Vee died a few months ago and she’d started her group therapies; she’d become some kind of self made, self help guru.

You figure it’s better that then her falling apart.

You’re all kind of waiting for her to fall apart.

“I was thinking i’d go into town and job hunt today” You bring up the topic softly, both of you most of the way through your spinach, bacon, mushroom and goat cheese omelet.

She tutts at you, of course she does.

“I invited you to come back and live with me, I’m not expecting you to pay for anything, you know that” You love the way she words it. You wonder if she really thinks of it that way, that you’re here for her benefit and not the other way around.

“Grams, I get that I really do. But I have like fifteen bucks to my name right now. Even if it’s just something part time, I need to work” You tell her, in complete seriousness.

You’d had a job, steadily, since you were fourteen years old and the broke bitch life wasn’t for you.

She fussed, tells you that you that she is very capable of helping you with whatever you need. Promptly informs you that Grandma Vee’s life insurance will hold both of you down for a long while.

You don’t get how she can talk about her death so easily. Calm and level headed. It’s still that iron hot pain that comes from losing a loved one that burns for you. You’d felt it before and yet it didn’t dull one bit this time around.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a fuck no from me. You have to use that money for you, grams. You know she’d want you to” is your blunt reply and she chuckles and throws her napkin at you as you stand.

“You watch your language in my fucking house, girl. You’ve always had such a bad potty mouth”

It’s inherited, you don’t tell her.

With a few more words of dissuasion from her and a kiss on the head and the reassurance that you’d still help her with her garden, even if you were working from you, you grab your keys and walk out into the already hot, New Jersey air.

--

It’s summer, mid June and Spring Port is and has always been a resort town. Sea side and picturesque- people flood in during the summer season.

It doesn’t surprise you that the towns square is currently a tourist trap and that parking is hard as shit to find. No matter, you find a space eventually.

Your turquoise Jeep Wrangler is the same one you’d driven before college, that you hadn't taken to the city with you. It has some  issues sometimes- the starters a little finicky and has to be worked on every six months or so, but it honestly still runs like a charm. Can get you from A to B just fine now, and you guess it is way better than subways and busses.

You end up walking around the entire towns square, and you’re glad you’d gone with slides instead of wedges. Everyone seems to be hiring, tourist season and all. And in the end you fill out four applications- handwritten at that which you think is a little funny.

It’s not that Springs Port is tiny really- with a population of 12, 000, there are definitely smaller places. Towns square is actually pretty decently sized- about twenty five or so tiny stores and restaurants scattered along main street. There’s a theater. Three gas stations. You guys don't have a Walmart in the towns perimeters technically- but there's one just a few miles away. And everything's waterfront, the docs a skip away. The Atlantic a continual backdrop.

Compared to New York though, it’s a blip on the map,. It feels smaller to you now that you’ve lived in the big wide world.

You’re walking down the cross of Harbor and Main- on your way to Goodies- which you hear Angie now owns, to meet Wanda and B for lunch when your feet get stuck where you are.

Frozen on the spot.

As you look at the flower shop, that’s overflowing with greenery across the street.

Infinity Flowers-

You can't help the draw to the store. Your feet seem to have a mind of their own- and you end up inside before you can really think of it.

Hell, it smells just like it used to. You haven't stepped foot in here since…

It’s pretty busy in the shop- it always was though. Best flower arrangements in the whole Garden state was it’s slogan, and it only exaggerated a little.

“I’ll be with you in one sec- Oh! Y/N” The bleach blond head that belongs to none other then Mantis bobs as she comes over and envelops you in a tight hug “I heard you we’re back in town! I was wondering when you we’re going to come in. I haven't seen you in so, so long”

She says all of this without letting you go and you chuckle and endure it because this was Mantis. Always such a hugger.

“Yeah, I was just job hunting in town and I thought I’d stop by”

“So you’re back for good then, yes?” She asks, after letting you go. Going to greet another customer warmly, while still managing to small talk to you. She’d always been good at making people feel at ease.

You tell her not really, just for the moment, as you fix the hydrangeas in the window display. They have them all wrong-

“Those we’re always her favorite” Mantis tells you what you already know and you nod and swallow the bit of sadness that bubbles up.

This. Is why you tend to stay away from this store. Thoughts of your late mother assault your psyche here, always- but also...you can't help but feel like you’re supposed to be here. Some of your happiest childhood memories we’re in this shop, surrounded by flowers. You can recall the sound of your mother’s laughter best here…

You leave the shop, after you’ve filled out an application.

You don't know why you did it but-

“I’m pretty sure I just got a job at Infinity Flowers” You inform Wanda and B, who are already sat at a booth in the little pub waiting for you when you get there. Sharon couldn't get a break from the station to come, but you couldn't hate her for it. She was just living her dream.

“Really?” Wanda asks, attempting to choose her words wisely “That's- I would never expect for that to be where you’d decide to work”

“What she means; is do you think that’s a good idea? There’s ghosts for you in there girly” B, Brunhilde(she’d kill anyone who used her full name though) has always been the bolder one in your group of friends. And that would never change.

“Mmm, I don't know what I think. Wanna day drink about it?” You suggest with a shrug as you go to wave down a waitress. One of their house made hard lemonades we’re sounding real good right now…

“Bitch, some of us have to go back to work” Wanda argues while B excitedly agrees, telling you that she’s already started.

Two and a half house lemonades later you are sufficiently buzzed and feeling better. Wanda has to get back to work at the antiques gift shop though, you you leave Angie a hefty tip(or rather your employed friends do) and head out.

It’s hot as hell, honestly and you think you might go sit on the beach for a while until you sober up enough to drive- you’re telling your friends that when you see a patrol car roll up to the bakery on the corner.

Out of the driver's seat exits one Bucky Barnes. AKA your teenage wet dream.

And holy god, does he look good. He’s flanked by a tall dark skinned man who you don't recognize, but who is also pretty damn fine.

You know you’re ogling, and your friends are laughing at you and taunting you, but in that moment you really don't care.

“Hot damn, he is still so fine, oh my god” You groan and Wanda chuckles as she lights up a cigarette.

“Yeah? The dad bod doing it for you?” She questions on an exhale of smoke.

“Totally. Is it possible that he got even more attractive? Like? How? And why did Sharon not tell me about this” You try to pull your eyes away from him, you really do.

But you’re a little drunk and the feelings you’d harbored for the older man come trickling back. Yeah, he’s gained some weight. Is broader- his shoulders big. His whole frame hulking. But he still has that swoon worthy dark hair, and that jawline you could see even from here. You wonder if his eyes we’re still that stormy blue color that you’d spent literal years dreaming about...You desperately wish you could go up and take a closer look.

“He’s really been hitting those doughnuts since the divorce, huh?” B snarks and you turn a cold glare at her.

“Don't body shame him. That’s disgusting” You snap and she holds up a hand.

“Jesus, you know I’m just kidding. I forgot how fucking touchy you are about him” She defends herself and you try not to go on a rant about how talking about anyone's body, male female or anyone in between.

You end up doing it anyway and the whole time Wanda grins and tells you how much she’s missed you, and B tells you how much of a sensitive cunt you are.

All in all, it’s good to be home. Even if you are a total failure of a human being at the moment, your brain can't help but tac on to the end. As you watch the police cruiser pull out of the parking lot, and think about the man that sits inside- you think about the fact that you aren't sixteen anymore. And he’s not married...

And in that moment- you realize just how good it is to be home. 

And there it is. If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know! I’m thinking, and have this planned out to be about five chapters. Just a sexy, juicy, emotional quick read. Some Angst ridden smut coming your way!

Also- I appreciate reviews and reblogs more than you could imagine. They are literally fuel for me- so if you can spare some time to give me your opinion, I’d love you forever!

@gifsbysimplysonia @peacefulwriter88 @prettybubblesintheair @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @plumfondler @tatathekissypotato @jaamesbbarnes @jalapenobarnes @siren-kitten-his @brieannakeogh @skishenanigans @paulxrudd

[madagascar-bound-stuff]

LA - Honolulu

Day 1

 We proceeded, the halt and the lame … Jim and I raced in our “his and hers” wheelchairs to our departure gate. Neither broken knee, sprained wrist nor mild concussion kept us from our appointed cruise!  My knee and wrist braces only detracted slightly from my fresh highlights and newly painted nails for the big occasion. Courtney had arranged wheelchairs and bulkhead seating for us so the trip went pretty smoothly. Then, arriving portside, we checked in and Jim, “sort of” took control of my wheelchair. We went careening past people on the block long zig-zag downhill ramp leading to the ship. He could barely hang on as our forward momentum had him moving faster than I have seen him move in at least a decade! On the uphill sections we had various people dashing to assist us as he faltered and I had visions of wheelchair tracks across his forehead as I slid backwards into the sea. We ricocheted my bad leg off elevator doors twice, hit a railing once and rammed my protruding leg into several people’s luggage before arriving safely at our cabin ... but we were aboard! We were both so exhausted we barely limped our way through the boat drill then headed straight back to the room. Too tired to go to dinner, Jim called room service several times always getting a busy signal. He hung up, looked pathetically at me and said, “Please don’t make me go get us food”. We decided to at least have a celebratory drink on the balcony as we sailed away but I had unloaded all the beer and wine out of the refrigerator to make room for his meds. I rummaged in my purse and found a mini bag of semi-stale peanuts with an expiration date of October 2019 and decided that would have to suffice until breakfast. We didn’t even finish the whole package; we were both too tired to chew... and so ended day one of our cruise to Madagascar and points beyond.

  Day 2

 Day two dawned ... eventually. I think I was too tired to sleep plus when unpacking I probably put some weight on “the leg” from time to time juggling both armloads of clothes and the ship’s roll. Today’s challenges are the petty, potty problems. My walker will not fit through the bathroom door. I know you are probably saying, “just turn it sideways.” Well, there is about an eight inch step up into the bathroom ... for those lucky enough to have never been attached to a walker ... sideways and steps don’t work. Now on the upside, just one step is doable leaving the walker outside the door in the entryway ... and once inside, who needs it? In this mini-bathroom you can easily stand on one foot in the middle of the room and just spin to reach the sink, potty or towels, never having to take a step! The shower stall does require you to hop over a small lip. However, the shower stall being only about two foot by two foot, I figure about a week aboard ship, semi-immobile, with nothing to do but eat I will have fattened up enough to just wedged myself in, thus eliminating any chance of a fall. This moving around on one leg thing is a workout. I think by the time this brace comes off, my right leg will look like the sculptured leg of a Russian gymnast. Of course my left leg may look like a string of cooked spaghetti with a knot at the knee.

 Day 3

 Jim’s wheelchair navigation has inspired me to attempt the “long” trek to food on my walker today. I felt that otherwise, no wall would go un-gouged and no toe aboard would remain unscathed. Jim, busy trying to maneuver the wheelchair, never seemed to notice people scurrying backwards, sideways or jumping straight up trying to keep their shins and toes out of harm’s way. Thus motivated, I made it “all the way” to the buffet in high rolling seas this morning … upright and on one leg. Between the absolutely crystalline weather today and making it to the chow line on my own, my mental health has greatly improved. We ate breakfast with a couple from Miami yesterday who told a story about their last cruise with a wheelchair. He said they had seas like today and his wife lost her balance and let go of his wheelchair to catch herself. The wheelchair went flying down the deck gaining speed and was grabbed at the last moment by a passing jogger just before hitting the railing.  He had visions of being flung spread eagle overboard into the sea.   Cute story to tell a lady in a wheelchair on rough seas being pushed about by a guy with a cane … perhaps that was part of my incentive to move to the walker today!

  Day 4

 Jim joined the choir. He did this on our last Princess world cruise because he was impressed with the choir director. Amazingly enough it’s the same guy. I asked about the make-up of the choir, he said, “Mostly old people”. Mostly? I have yet to see anyone onboard that wasn’t north of social security benefits by a good five years, us included. I was just curious if many men participated. Today’s mid-day announcement declared that there was to be clear sailing starting this afternoon and most of tomorrow then we would be hitting high seas. Batten down any heavy objects, secure loose articles etc. Now crossing the Drake Passage we had 40 foot swells and I don’t remember them giving us those instructions.  Barf bags have already appeared in every elevator and on every staircase.  Luckily, neither of us is prone to “mal de mare” so it could be fun.

 Day 5

We are five days into the journey … our main interest while at sea, food. Let me explain how this works. I hop my way to the elevator with the grace of a drunken kangaroo then it is up and out to the buffet. Once there, I capture the nearest seat.  Since I can’t manage the walker and carrying a tray at the same time sweet Jim goes through the line at the far end of the dining area and graciously returns with his selections.  Now I have eaten with this guy for twenty years … today he selected, especially for me, cauliflower, green peppers with cheese, and a cooked cabbage salad.  Now I admit that I don’t know what his options were but about anyone reading this would know me well enough to skip the veggies and bring me something fried, with a dinner roll and a chocolate chip cookie! And yes, I did appreciate his efforts, I am just saying, I am eating so little that I may still be able to rattle around in the aforementioned shower stall after all. I know you’re thinking “wouldn’t the dining room be easier than the buffet?” Yes, yes it would. However there is about a ten or twelve foot stretch with a gradient into the dining room. We found out during the boat drill that Jim can’t push me up that incline in my wheelchair. Alternately, I fear I might just slide down that slope with my wheeled walker. I think today however, I am sufficiently motivated to make my own food selections that I will attempt a run up pork chop hill for lunch.  Hopefully, we will just break bread together and nothing else.

Day 6

Well, that was a tempest in a teapot. I expected to get a good story or two out of the “high seas”. There were some pretty good swells but the captain slowed the ship and we just sort of floated over the swells and down though the troughs, really not bad at all. We were able to bar “hop” and get a drink or two and listen to some music and stay mostly upright the whole evening.  Lunch also turned out to be uneventful. I hopped/rolled up and down the ramp, no problem. I was so excited to be able pick and choose on my own food that I ordered every carb on the menu from bread to pasta to apple pie ala mode to make up for the lost calories. We have yet to see any land six days into the voyage.  I asked Jim, “What day of the week is this anyway?” He looked around a minute then picked up his almost empty medicine box with the days of the week labeled and replied, “Must be Saturday”. Oh how far we have fallen when we are keeping track of the days of the week by our pill boxes. Tomorrow land ho - Honolulu!

Day 7

Honolulu is probably my least favorite port in Hawaii but there is land and cell service … I don’t know which I have missed more. I think the feeling was shared by my fellow passengers as the gangplank was barely secured before people poured from this ship like water over Niagara Falls. Our last visit here, upon disembarking, people broke into three distinct lines … those taking tours, those taking the shuttle to Hilo Hattie’s at the mall and those catching the free bus to Walmart. I can tell you the Walmart line rated a picture. I haven’t seen a line like that since the Rolling Stones hit town. Jim is making a wine and toothpaste run into the city while I stay aboard and try to set up and post this blog while I have internet service. If you’re reading this then I was successful!

[andromeda---galaxy]

pumpkin, cheddar and taffy

Lukas is sitting on the couch with Philip's feet in his lap when his phone starts ringing. He briefly looks at Philip, narrowing his eyes, and for a small moment he has no idea who might be calling him. It's got to be some kind of spam shit, because he literally just got off the phone with his dad, and if Helen and Gabe wanted to do some kind of secret surprise for Philip, they'd text or email. 

 He sees the name ANGELA flashing on his phone. 

 "Oh hey!" he says. "It's the nice girl from the subway!"

 "Oh cool!" Philip says. "Answer!"

 "Right, right," Lukas says, fumbling to press the right button before the call drops. "Hello?"

"Lukas! That you?"

 "Angela, hey!" he says, grinning. He'd sorta been hoping she'd call, because they're in desperate need of some real friends. He's been texting with her a good amount since the subway incident, and he actually genuinely likes her. Mark has completely fallen to the wayside since he found out Lukas wasn't looking for a way out of his relationship, and everyone in their study groups seems way too into studying to actually go out and do something fun. "We keep missing each other for lunch!” Lukas says, smiling over at Philip, who smiles back.

 "I know, sweetie, but life has been getting in the damn way," Angela says. "Listen, I hate to be calling with a favor the first time I call, but I figure our six hour experience brought us a little closer than a normal first meetin', and everybody else just ain't reliable or ain't coming through. And absolutely tell me if this ain't something that's not gonna work for you—"

 "What is it?" Lukas asks, looking at Philip again. Philip cocks his head and Lukas shrugs, listening.

 "I've got this emergency job thing in Long Island—it's basically an opportunity I've been waitin' for but it came a lot quicker than expected. Everybody I've asked is either unavailable or untrustworthy. I didn't wanna bother you but, well—"

 "I'm listening," he says, trying to recall all the things she's mentioned to him for the month they've been texting. 

 "Remember those puppies I told you I adopted?" she asks.

 "Yeah..." Lukas says, slowly. It was a little bit after they first met and something she'd wanted to do for a long time. He'd gotten caught up in a group text with some of her friends from California, but when he showed Philip the picture of the three Australian shepherd puppies he'd shrieked and nearly clawed off his own face. 

 "Well, they need someone to look after 'em," she says. "I’m stayin’ overnight, it'd be this Friday through Sunday, one day for each little lunatic, and no one else is steppin' up. You can obviously say no—"

 "Once sec," Lukas says, pressing mute on his phone.

 "What is it?" Philip asks. "Am I finally gonna get to meet her?"

 "She wants us to watch those three—"

 Philip's eyes light up and he swings his feet down to hit the floor, almost instantly closing the distance between them. He grabs Lukas's knee. "The puppies? She wants us to watch the puppies?"

 Lukas laughs, taking in the pure joy on Philip's face. "I take it that means yes?"

 "Yes, I'll skip class," Philip says, nodding. "When?"

 "I love that you said you'd skip class not even knowing which class you'd be skipping," Lukas says, smiling fondly at him. 

 "I'd rob a bank for those puppies, Lukas," Philip says, seriously. 

 "Definitely a yes," Lukas says, taking the phone off mute and bringing it back to his ear. "Yeah, Angela?"

 "You askin' Philip?"

 "Yeah, which didn't take much. He's excited. We're gonna do it."

 "Oh my God," she says, sighing loudly. "Boy, you two are doing me a big favor here. Never thought I'd be thankful that subway stopped on us."

 Lukas snorts. "When do you think you'll be over on Friday?" 

 "How's eleven sound?" she asks. "I gotta haul up all their supplies, I hope it doesn't make you rethink—"

 "We're not gonna back out," Lukas says, glancing at Philip's excited face in his peripheral. "You don't yet understand how much Philip likes dogs."

 ~

 Lukas watches Philip run around the apartment, picking up the smallest goddamn feather off the ground and putting it in the trash. He rearranges the blankets on the couch about a hundred times and stands there staring at it, like there has to be something wrong. 

 "Philip," Lukas says, walking over and rubbing his back. "They're puppies. They're not going to judge you."

 "I want it to be comfortable," Philip says. 

 "It's perfect," Lukas says, kissing him on the cheek. “They’re going to love it.”

 "Anyways, an actual human that isn't the two of us is coming by too," Philip says, leaning into him. "Your friend I've been wanting to meet!"

 "Hopefully we can hang out with her more when she gets back," Lukas says. "Maybe we'll hang out with her and the puppies."

 "The most ideal situation," Philip says, and then there's a knock at the door.

 They walk over and open the door, revealing Angela standing there with a big grin on her face. She's got one big carrying case, along with two bags full of God knows what. She's just as pretty as Lukas remembers and he's a little startled when she sits everything down, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around both of them at the same time.

 "Thank you thank you thank you!" she chants, jumping up and down a little bit. She pulls back and Lukas can vaguely hear Philip gasp when they hear a little bark come from the carrier. "Lukas, it's amazing to see you above ground."

 "Right back at you," Lukas says, watching her hone in on Philip.

 "And here he is," she says, beaming at him. "You're just a little doll. You should have seen how much your boy wanted to get back to you. It was the cutest thing."

 "I heard about it," Philip says, making eye contact with Lukas.

 Angela hums, widening her eyes. "Sounds like your night turned out better than mine did," she says. 

 Lukas laughs and sees Philip go red.

 There's another set of barks and Philip looks about fit to burst, clenching his hands in front of him. 

 Angela looks down, starting to kneel. Lukas kicks the door closed behind her. "Well, let’s meet the little monsters," she says, opening the cage door. 

 Both Lukas and Philip crouch down next to her and Philip has to muffle his exclamation when the puppies come marching out. They're all different colors, so distinctive and different, and the one that's mostly white immediately makes for Philip, nudging its little face into his hand to make him pet it. 

 "Oh my God," Philip whispers, his voice breaking. 

 "That's little Pumpkin, always gettin' into everybody's business," Angela says, clicking her tongue.

 The other two briefly look at Lukas before moving past him and into the living room. "They have food names too, right?" Lukas asks, looking at Angela.

 "Cheddar and Taffy," Angela says. "Taffy's the chunkier one. Loves her treats, little nasty thing. Won't eat no normal food if she ain't got treats to go along with it."

 "Noted," Lukas says, watching Philip pick Pumpkin up. He holds her in his hands so delicately, nuzzling their noses together. Lukas’s stomach does a little flip as he watches the display, and he clears his throat when he looks back at Angela. 

 "I've got all their food for the weekend, they sleep inside the carrier because they're still interested in cuddling."

 Philip whines a little bit from high in his throat, looking over his shoulder at Taffy and Cheddar. 

 "And they're potty trained?" Lukas asks, wincing a little bit at how stupid that sounds coming out of his mouth.

 "Yep, they love their walks," Angela says, patting the floor in front of her.  Cheddar turns around as soon as he hears the sound, toddling back over to slide down in front of her.

 "So Pumpkin and Taffy are girls?" Philip asks, holding Pumpkin against his chest. 

 "Yep, and Cheddar's the little boy troublemaker," Angela says. She sighs, smiling at Philip and Pumpkin. "You two sure this ain't too much of an imposition? Lukas, I mean, we met once and now I'm dumping three children on you and your boyfriend. Not the usual way the situation goes down—"

 Lukas snorts, watching Philip laugh. He leans back and scoops Cheddar up too, leaving Lukas to scoot across the floor and block Taffy off from marching into their laundry room. Her little chocolate brown eyes bore into his own, and he knows that if he's falling in love with these puppies that Philip is definitely already gone.

 "It's gonna be great," Lukas says, nodding at Angela. "We're gonna have an amazing time."

 ~

 Once Angela is gone Lukas feels like the puppies can sense his nervousness. Taffy has the little gold marks above her eyes that make her look angry, and he constantly feels like she's judging him. It doesn't help that she follows him everywhere he goes, including into the bathroom. 

 Philip sets out their dishes on the kitchen floor, giggling when he sees them watching him. "They look apprehensive," he says, looking up at Lukas.

 "Just make sure to give Taffy the treats or we're gonna have a testy puppy on our hands," Lukas says, watching her. She's set back a little from Cheddar and Pumpkin, who are sitting close to Philip's foot and staring up at him.

 "They're so well behaved," Philip says, pouring what looks like an inordinate amount of food into the bowls. 

 "Don't go crazy, we don't want them ballooning up over the three days she's gone," Lukas says. "And you're gonna jinx it with this well behaved talk. Later on Cheddar is gonna tear something up."

 "Why are you preemptively blaming Cheddar?" Philip asks, sitting down in front of the bowls after the puppies walk over and start eating.

 "He's a boy," Lukas says, shrugging. "The boys are always the more difficult ones."

 "True," Philip says, scoffing. He pets Pumpkin's head lightly as they eat, smiling down at them.

 Lukas feels his chest going warm. "You already have a favorite, babe."

 "I do not," Philip says, looking up at him. "All puppies are my favorites."

 "Mmhm." Lukas watches him gaze down at them, watches Cheddar stumble a little bit and knock into Taffy. Philip and Lukas both laugh, shaking their heads. 

 ~

 They take them for a walk and Philip is so paranoid about them getting into the street, despite being on leashes and being distracted by every blade of grass. Once they do their business Philip takes to carrying them around in his arms, looking half panicked, like someone is going to steal them. Lukas keeps staring at him with the three whining puppies in his arms and his stomach twists as they start back home. 

 "I need a picture of you," Lukas says, walking backwards and pulling his phone out of his pocket.

 "They want to get down," Philip says, kissing the top of Pumpkin's head. "But I'm afraid. They're precious cargo."

 "You're precious cargo," Lukas says, taking about ten pictures in a quick sequence so he can pick his favorite later.

 ~

 Around six that night Lukas is making tacos, listening to the insistent squeak of one of the hundred toys Angela left with them. He hears his phone buzzing on the counter, looks over to see a text from Angela.

 Those munchkins harassed you to death yet?

 Lukas chuckles, quickly typing his reply. They're too cute for their own good. Philip is gonna want a dog after this.

 "Lukas, I want a dog," Philip calls, and then there's the sound of a squeaker toy being hurled across the living room, twelve little feet rushing after it. 

 Lukas snorts, looking over his shoulder. "I knew you were going to say that," he says. The puppies all latch on to the toy, which looks like it used to be a lobster before three sets of teeth got to it, and they all growl at each other, tugging it back and forth. Philip is pointing his phone at them, the camera sound going off over and over. 

 "You sending pictures to Helen and Gabe?" Lukas asks, looking back to the beef on the burner.

 "Yeah," Philip says. "Prepare for not so subtle messages about getting your boyfriend a new puppy."

 "I'm already ready," Lukas says. 

 ~

 "Philip, they like to be crated," Lukas says, but he knows it's not helping that he's holding Taffy and Cheddar, the two of them lolling and falling asleep in his arms. Cheddar keeps making little yipping sounds in his sleep and Lukas is nearly dying of cute. 

 Philip looks horrified, sitting with Pumpkin in his lap on the bed. 

 "I even brought the carrier in here," Lukas says, gesturing to it in the corner by their bed. "So they'll be close."

 "Did you put water in there?" Philip asks, holding Pumpkin possessively. "And their blankets?"

 That brings on an unexpected vision into Lukas's mind's eye. The two of them and a baby. It's not that much more than that, just an image, a brief feeling, but it hits him so hard that he nearly passes out. He shakes his head and remembers he's holding two puppies. "Yeah," he says, his voice breaking. He walks over, depositing Taffy and Cheddar into the carrier, making sure to fluff the blankets around them.

 "Okay," Philip says, kissing the top of Pumpkin's head five or six times before walking over and putting her in the carrier with her siblings. Lukas closes the door and walks over to turn off the light. The whole room is quickly bathed in darkness, only the streetlights sending strips of gold in through their window. 

 "Come on," Lukas says, finding Philip among the shadows and tugging him to bed. 

 Philip groans a little bit but follows him without a word. Lukas pulls the sheets back and gets under them, feeling the bed dip when Philip climbs in after him. They turn onto their sides and Lukas wraps his arms around him, kissing the spot under Philip's ear. 

 "You're so cute with these puppies," Lukas whispers. "I can't stand it."

 "They're our children for three days," Philip says back, pressing a dry kiss to Lukas's throat. "Our little, furry, precious children."

 "Guess we're glad that subway stopped, huh?" Lukas asks, his mind wandering a bit. 

 "I mean, if I had known puppies would be part of the deal I wouldn't have been so worried," Philip says, nudging closer to him.

 Lukas laughs, shaking his head. "Goodnight, baby. I love you."

 "I love you too," Philip says, and Lukas can already tell he's drifting to sleep.

 ~

 When Lukas wakes up he's alone in the bed. He's had nightmares like that before and the reality of it startles him awake. 

 "Babe?" he asks, his voice raspy as he sits up on his elbows. And as soon as he does he can see him—Philip is goddamn sleeping on the floor in front of the puppy carrier. His hand is hanging on the door and all three puppies are huddled up against it. The four of them are sleeping soundly and Lukas just stares for a few moments, a soft smile forming on his face. He wonders how long he's been down there, and he's a little annoyed at himself for sleeping through it.

 He starts to get up when he realizes he needs to capture this moment before waking Philip up, so he grabs his phone from the bedside table and leans over the side of the bed. He takes a couple pictures from multiple angles and then realizes that he's just standing there staring at him again, a goofy idiot smile on his face. Philip is breathing softly through his mouth and Lukas knows it's impossible to measure how much he loves him.

 He kneels next to him and touches his shoulder. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he whispers, running the backs of his fingers down Philip's cheek. 

 Philip stirs a little, groaning. 

 "What in the hell made you sleep down here?" Lukas says, watching him wince as he sits up.

 "They were crying," Philip says, and Lukas sits down all the way so Philip can lean against him. "And you were so dead asleep that I had to take care of it."

 Lukas scoffs. "You know you can wake me up."

 Philip smiles, shifting to wrap his arms around Lukas's middle. "I'm kidding. I didn't exactly plan on falling asleep on the floor but they were all nuzzling my hand and passing out on top of each other—"

 "Hard to resist," Lukas says, kissing Philip's forehead. "Now you know how I feel when you get all drunk and cuddly."

 Philip laughs, shaking his head. 

 "You just nudge at me and collapse on top of me and it's the cutest goddamn thing in the world," Lukas says, rubbing his shoulder.

 "Not as cute as puppies," Philip says. 

 "Let me be the judge of that," Lukas says. "And anyway, you and puppies, as I've been noticing, is the ultimate combination."

 Philip beams up at him. "Kiss me."

 "Mmm, good idea," Lukas says, and does just that.

 ~

 "Lukas!" he hears Philip yelling. "Lukas, Lukas!"

 There's loud music playing in the bedroom and Lukas nearly drops the knife he's making them sandwiches with.

 "What?" he yells, running out of the kitchen and towards his voice, and when he turns the corner he sees Philip sitting in the middle of the bed with all three puppies. Philip looks absolutely enamored and Lukas can see why—the puppies are all three howling, their heads thrown back to the ceiling. 

 "They like Troye Sivan," Philip says, his eyes bright. "Did you know they could do this? Did she mention this?" 

 Lukas finds himself grinning and he shakes his head. "How long have they been at it?"

 "They started with Fools so I've been playing it on repeat," Philip says.

 "Lemme get my phone," Lukas says, and he rushes out of the room, nearly skidding and slamming into the kitchen counter when he grabs it. He rushes back and starts filming right away when he sees they're still doing it. Philip sings along, holding his hands out in front of the puppies. Lukas stops filming when they stop howling, Taffy stepping forward and toppling over onto her back. Philip rubs her tummy, grinning.

 "That's gonna go viral," Lukas says, watching it back on his phone as Philip turns the music down. "You think Angela would be mad we put her babies on the internet?"

 "Ask first, but I doubt it," Philip says, putting Pumpkin on one knee and Cheddar on the other. "Everyone wants their animals to be famous."

 ~

 Lukas finds out Pumpkin's favorite toy is a pink flamingo that's bigger than she is, and she runs away from him whenever he tries to get it from her. She backs Lukas up against the wall at one point when he has it, climbing up his chest and attacking his neck to try and get it back from him. 

 "She's attacking me, Philip!" Lukas says, putting his hand around her little body. She growls and nips at his shirt, shaking it back and forth.

 "Serves you right, taking her flamingo," Philip says, handing Taffy a treat.

 "You're not helping!" Lukas says, his eyes closed tight. He lowers the flamingo a little bit and feels her lunge for it, yipping and sliding down his chest. He hears the camera go off and he opens his eyes. Philip is aiming his phone at them, Cheddar looking up expectantly. "We're gonna have a whole album of puppy pictures," Lukas says. "Angela is gonna think we're insane."

 "No, more like she's gonna want us to babysit again," Philip says, taking a few more pictures, handing Cheddar a treat too. "I wish I could take Polaroids of them but I know they'd just turn out like little blurs."

 "It'd look like an alien attack," Lukas says, dropping the flamingo and watching Taffy make for it. Pumpkin barks, loud for a puppy her size, and tries to run over and get there first. Lukas looks over and sees Cheddar give up on Philip's attention, moving to a pizza toy and flopping down on top of it. "Look," Lukas says. "Cheddar pizza."

 Philip snorts. "Cute."

 ~

 Philip tries to teach them things after dinner, like sit and roll over. It fails spectacularly but Lukas revels in watching the whole thing go down, sitting by silently and enjoying how much fun Philip is having. The puppies watch his animated hand gestures, follow him with their eyes but never do what he says, and Lukas knows he and Philip have fun here, all the day, all the time, but he doesn't think he's seen Philip look this happy in a while. The puppies seem to love him, and eventually stop sitting and waiting for him to give up the treats, tromping forward and diving into his outstretched hands. Philip laughs and Lukas's heart soars.

 The puppies fall asleep early that night after their eventful day, and Angela texts Lukas a couple more times saying how thankful she is, and how well everything is going in Long Island, how she’s probably gonna get the job and do the commute every day, but it’ll be worth it. Lukas is genuinely happy for her, thinking for a moment what things will be like when he starts on a motocross circuit and Philip starts taking photography jobs. They put the puppies away in the carrier, and Philip puts the pink flamingo in as an afterthought.

 "Are you gonna wind up on the floor again?" Lukas asks, watching Philip peel his shirt off.

 "I don't know what the future holds," Philip says, smirking.

 "We gotta let them grow up," Lukas says, walking over to him. "We can't cater to their every whim."

 "Yes we can," Philip says, narrowing his eyes. "They're puppies. I'd die for them."

 "Die for them, rob a bank," Lukas says, sliding his hands across Philip's hips. "I don't know what kinda stuff they're asking you to do when I'm not around. They sound like little gangsters."

 "Fluffy and lovable is just their cover," Philip says, humming a little bit when Lukas presses him back against the bed. "We can't have sex, baby."

 Lukas whines a little bit, splaying his hand out on Philip's lower back. "Why not?"

 "There are children in the room, Lukas," Philip says, his eyes wide, a little pout on his lips. "There's no way."

 Lukas shakes his head, knows he probably won't change his mind, but leans in to kiss him anyway. They sway back and forth a little bit and Philip shakes his head, groaning.

 "No, babe," Philip says. "We can't be obscene."

 "We can go under the covers."

 Philip snorts, kissing him again. "When they're gone, Sunday night. It's a date."

 "This worries me," Lukas says, teasing in his voice as he leans in to kiss Philip's cheek. "If we get a dog..."

 "Different situation," Philip says, his voice wavering a little bit when Lukas starts to kiss his neck. "These guys could report back to Angela and then they'll never visit again."

 "Report back," Lukas says, smirking. 

 "Oh, they'll know," Philip says. "But our dog will be our dog. He'll probably sleep like a log. Like you. Snoring included."

 "Philip, stop lying to yourself, I don't snore," Lukas says, looking into his eyes. 

 "Mmhm, sure."

 "Let's just kiss then," Lukas says, touching his face. "They can't be offended by kissing."

 "Okay," Philip says. They get into bed and under the covers and Philip is on him fast, bringing their mouths together. Lukas lets his hands roam up and down Philip's body, tangling his fingers in his hair.

 "You don't care that we're not having sex?" Philip asks against his mouth.

 "Of course not," Lukas whispers. "Baby, if you only let me hold you for the rest of your life I'd be good with it. I just wanna be near you."

 Philip leans back a little bit, and even in the darkness Lukas can tell he's blushing.  "That's really..." He scoffs, dipping his head down. 

 "I know, I'm really romantic," Lukas says, shrugging. Philip looks up again, with his beautiful eyes, and Lukas shakes his head. "You really got a hold on me," Lukas whispers. Sometimes he's still shocked at how vulnerable Philip makes him feel, but other times it feels like the most commonplace thing there is.

 "I'm not gonna let go," Philip whispers, tugging him down so they can kiss again.

 ~

 The next day Philip is moping around, knowing that Angela is gonna come back and the puppies are gonna be gone. He sits in front of them as they eat, and Cheddar makes little noises as he plows through his food, almost sounds like a dinosaur. 

 Lukas looks up and sees the expression on Philip's face. He's shifting his mouth to the side, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and Lukas knows the dam is about to break. 

 "You guys are so cute," Philip says. "And you're gonna be gone and we have to go back to class and..." He trails off with a sigh. He pets the tops of their heads, lingering a little with Pumpkin, and before Lukas can say anything Philip gets up and leaves the room.

 "Baby," Lukas says, getting up to follow him, but when he turns the corner he sees Philip is right there, laying on the carpet. He's staring at the ceiling and Lukas sighs, laying down next to him. He reaches down and links their hands together. "Angela is our buddy," he says.

 "I know," Philip says. 

 “Even if she gets the job she’s not moving to Long Island,” Lukas says. “She’s gonna do the commute.”

 “Yeah, you said,” Philip says.

 "We're gonna see the puppies again," Lukas says, watching Philip's throat bob. 

 "I believe you," Philip says.

 "Then what's wrong, huh?" Lukas asks, squeezing his hand.

 "I'm just being...dramatic," Philip says, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. "I'm sad they're leaving but I'm just getting weirdly...emotional."

 "About what?" Lukas asks, brushing his fingers over Philip's cheek.

 "Just us," Philip says. "These past days with the puppies have felt so...I don't know. Just like a life I never thought I'd have. I feel that all the time with you but with them here too it just feels so..."

 "Domestic?" Lukas asks. 

 "Yeah," Philip says, turning his head. "Sometimes I worry you'll get sick of me."

 "I won't, ever," Lukas says, fast. "I'm in love with you. I'll never....I'll never stop being in love with you."

 Philip looks like he's fighting a smile and he nods. "I know. I know and this weekend...with these puppies, stupid as it sounds....I could really, really see our future. Like it felt really, really solid—" His voice breaks and he covers his face with his hand. "Nothing has ever felt so...solid in my life but you...you and me..."

 "We're solid as a rock, Philip," Lukas says, and as he's saying it he feels the puppies marching between them, Pumpkin yipping and stumbling into Philip. 

 "Oh my God," Philip says, craning his neck to look down at them. Cheddar hops up onto Philip's chest and Philip laughs, grabbing Pumpkin and putting her onto his far shoulder. 

 Taffy growls at Lukas as she attempts to climb up his leg and he laughs, scooping her up and putting her in the center of his chest. 

 "I need to get a picture of this," Lukas says, shifting a little to pull his phone out of his pocket. The puppies all whine and make little noises, Pumpkin licking Philip's jaw while Cheddar is getting himself comfortable on his chest. Lukas scoots closer and holds out his phone above them, kissing Philip's cheek and taking the picture. 

 "That's adorable," Philip says, the two of them looking at it.

 "New phone wallpaper," Lukas says, his chest going warm. He holds Taffy so she doesn't tumble away and kisses Philip's cheek again, three times in quick succession. "We're gonna have as many dogs as you want, babe."

 "When we get out of school?" Philip asks. 

 "Whenever you want," Lukas says, kissing his temple. “And we’re gonna stay solid. Always.”

 He knows Angela will be here in about two hours. But his mind keeps flashing to their future, all the possibilities that once could have felt scary and strange, now feel warm and incredible. And it's all because of Philip, and how goddamn much Lukas loves him. This love feels like gold, like something so deep and full that he could never explore every aspect of it. But he knows he's gonna try. Take all the years they can scrounge up to do every single thing in the world together.

 "Tell Angela we can babysit these nerds any time she wants," Philip says, rubbing Cheddar's belly. 

 "Oh, I think she realizes they have two new gay uncles," Lukas says, making Philip laugh. "Maybe we can hide the flamingo here. Make them have to come back."

 Philip meets his eyes, grinning wide. "Good idea," he says.

 "C'mere," Lukas whispers. They meet in the middle, bringing their mouths together, puppies close and in hand. 

[dawnrockssocks]

Tournament of Death June 2017- Meeting Jimmy Havoc and Danny Havoc

Wow, I can not believe that I have not written this blog before now. I had written parts of it along the journey of this trip/wrestling event. Well, I only wrote when I was on the plane to Maryland and when I was at the hotel the night before and in the morning before the trip over to Delaware. Here I sit in my new house/apartment (it's a house but we rent it so I find myself calling it an apartment but it's not an apartment, I am sure you all know what I mean) 4 months later with no internet in this house yet when I found myself I should use this time wisely to get some writing done. I have started a Dean Ambrose fanficition a good while ago (that I never started posting for the sole reason that I was not writing enough and did not want to get my readers upset with such delay of posts) and this blog, what better time to write these things then when you have no internet to post it on? I know, that makes perfect sense right? Write something you want to post on the internet when you have no internet but hey, at least it will be ready to post when it gets installed though so that is the silver lining here. Anyways...shall I begin? Considering I don't have internet, I can't send what I had already wrote during the trip on my Kindle (which I took with me to Maryland on my trip compared to this laptop, I am sure you all know the size difference between the two and understand why I didn't choose the laptop) since I don't have internet I am just going to paraphase here and try to remember what I was feeling and thinking. True I could just re-type it from my kindle to here by just looking at my kindle but I am too lazy to do that. So with all this nonsense being said; here I go: With my tax money, instead of putting it into savings (which I had originally done when it got deposited, ha! I get to laugh at myself now) or pay off my debt on my credit card (which I am regretting not doing for other reasons now but you all don't want to read that tangent or my problems, you want to read about my wrestling adventures), I had found out that Jimmy Havoc, my gothic king, my gothic savior, my british love, my Progress champion, and one only favorite wrestler from across the pond (yes, I have other favorite wrestlers from England but I just adore and love Jimmy just a tad more okay?) was going to be performing at CZW's Tournament of Death. So if you were to think that I, of all people, were going to turn down this opportunity not to go, you are crazy. I know you all are probably like, you are crazy because he was at that Wrestlecon during Wrestlemania weeekend and you could have went to Wrestlemania and met so many more people, blah blah blah. Well you all can just suck my dick because I did not have the money to do that whole shebang so here I sat seeing this chance and to be honest, who am I to know when the even next opportunity or time that will arise where Jimmy will be in the states to perform (besides at WrestleCon IF he ever does it again, which I am sure he will but do you all know how much WrestleMania weeekend costs? Honestly? More than all my organs are worth plus some) or when will I ever afford to take that plane to fly across the pond to England and considering I don't have a passport that would be another additional $100 or so I would have to invest in to get to even make the trip possible. So there I sat looking through all these different airfares finding the cheapest rate but times that would work. The show was on a Saturday and my days off were at that time were Friday and Saturday so I was trying to make it work where I would fly out on Friday and fly back Saturday after the show but none of the flights on Saturday to return would work, and I am glad that I did not purchase a Saturday returning flight because I would not have made it to any of the last flights out and if I would have made it, then I would have missed some of the show and/or the meet and greet after the show that they had. I booked my airfare then looked into the hotel situation, once they were all booked my leave slip was instantly put in because I was not about to spend that amount of money then have to work, and technically I was only asking for one day off since Friday and Saturday's were my given days off at that time. The time approached for my trip a lot quicker than I realized. My biggest problem was how much baggage should I take for barely even 36 hours? I was going to land in Maryland at 7:30 PM on Friday night and flight out was leaving at like 6 AM on Sunday morning. I really wanted to just do my carry-on because I was planning on buying Jimmy's new shirt at the show so I just really needed an outfit for the show and I could re-wear a pair of leggings for Sunday since all I was doing was flying so it didn't matter what I wore as long as I was comfortable while I flew but then I was like I should bring a bag so I could bring all my shower goods (instead of using the hotels baby ones) amongst other things. I ended up just taking a piece of luggage with me even though I did not want to go throught the whole checking and my best friend had dropped me off at the airport where I had flown to Maryland. I did have a baby layover somewhere, but I do not remember where but I did have a layover somewhere. I just remember sitting on the second plane in disbelief that I was on the plane flying across the United States for a wrestling show and to finally see Jimmy Havoc. At that time this year, I had so many other things going on that going to this show had been put on such a backburner that when I sat on that plane is when it actually sunk in that here I was embarking on this journey on my own. Then is when I began to question myself, was this even worth the hundreds of dollars to fly acorss the United States to see Jimmy Havoc and have a slim to none chance to even meet the man? That was the thing, there was NO guarantee that I would be meeting him because he did not have to come out to the merchandise tables to meet anyone because it is not forced upon the wrestlers to do so. Here I am, already more than halfway across the United States judging my life choices because I was alread in the hole hundreds of dollars so someone had to go because there was no chance in getting that money back since I had already checked in and was sitting in my second airplane seat of the day. I began to question, why did I even impulse buy this? Then I just remembered to consider it my own mini vacation out of all of this, it was about 36 hours or so by myself without work, my family, friends, or anyone to really consider other than myself. I could do whatever I wanted to do rather than having to take in others opinions. Upon landing in Maryland, I had went to get my luggage and my rental car then had to find my way to my hotel. At this point, I was trying not to let my hangry out because I hadn't ate lunch and was beyond starving plus nervous for driving in a place I had never driven in nor knew anything about where I was going besides my GPS Linda lady that was speaking directions to me in order to get me to my hotel safely. I am sure I had pissed off a few drivers during that short distance but hey, I got to my hotel safely and settled in. My first task after closing that hotel door behind me was ordering me a pizza in which lasted me the whole weekend. After pizza arrived, I had ate then sunk into my bed to get some slumber. Awakening bright and early the next morning, showering, packing my baby bag for the day with sunblock, medicine, wallet and other baby items that I knew I needed for the day ahead of me. After shooting a few texts out to my boyfriend and best friend, I jumped into my car putting in a CD that I knew I can stand listening to for hours on end (yes I travelled across the United States with CDs in my bag just for this reason cause I did not want to deal with messing with the radios while driving to find something decent to listen to). I then began my drive to Delaward, yet again a state I had yet to travel to and here I was travelling into it alone. I ended up finding a Wal-Mart where I bought sharpies, something for the fans bring the weapons match and something to eat since I was hungry. I then found my way to the venue, which I found out was in the middle of the woods and apparently someone's backyard/property whom is related to someone in the company so yeah, that was probably the best way to lure people in for a mass murdering if that is what you are into, I certainly fell for it apparently. The line of cars to pull in to park was long as freak but once you got up there to check in and to park, it was not too bad at all but it was just that wait that took the longest. I parked my car, applied the first set of sunblock before making my way to the wresling area. They had fewer merchandise stands than when I had last been to CZW but I understood why. Food trucks, more like one food truck and portable potties. I wish I had known earlier about the bathroom situation because the whole time I felt so icky from using such bathroom but that was the only way to use the bathroom and I was not about to test my luck and hold it. The event went from 2ish PM to 9 PM so yeah, no way Jose on holding my pee in on that shit. But here is when I got really pissed off and mad that I even went to this thing. I had bought my second row seat when they first went on sale, why was my seat not even there? I went to the right section and someone was already in my freaking seat so I presumed maybe they just scooted a seat down cause they wanted the aisle (I had an aisle seat). I figured to just sit in the seat next to the last dude, which I did then this couple came up saying that was their seat so I again got up and moved to a different seat. Then it happened again, someone came claiming their seats. I know I should have just stood up and say 'hey that is my seat,' but here I am having no clue how this seating arrangement thing went besides the map that is shown on my ticket but I was pissed because I spent $40 on a seat to sit my fat ass in that I didn't even get. I know you are all going to tell me that is my own damn fault because I needed to speak up and tell that fucker to move but I am not one to confront people but I felt like it was so disorganized and people were sitting anywhere. People brought their own chairs, umbrellas, coolers, canopies and other things to claim their spots and people were claiming any open seat from what I saw so it was like freefall for any open chair and it really sucked for people like me who wanted and paid for a seat only for it to be took from me. I understand I could be bitching about nothing because I didn't confront that person but what good would that be? I didn't want to get into an altercation over a stupid chair, so I moved to the other side where the entrance was and stood the whole time, but at least I got to choose where I stood, able to move around to get better shots and even then a lot of action happened where I was standing. People jumping off the truck onto the barb wire trampoline and Masada and Havoc came right through that area so I honestly began to forget about the seating situation. I could complain about it all I want but in the end, it didn't even matter. I must say that the show itself was phenomanal, I hadn't seen shit like that happen in person and I shouldn't have enjoyed it as much as I did. True I was concerned for their well being but there I was screaming and cheering for more stuff to happen. Yes, a few injuries did occur during the show which were taken very seriously, as they should be took. I had bought my new Jimmy Havoc shirt during intermission only because my self-conscious side didn't want to tell Jimmy Havoc himself the size shirt I wore. I knew that he probably wouldn't have cared and would know how chunky I am and know that I would wear that size but then again, why should he care cause he was taking my money? After the show had ended, there I was being a lurking Lucy because I was just pacing in front of the merchandise tables watching people purchase things, meeting with and talking with the other stars as I was impatiently waiting for Jimmy Havoc to come out if he were to come out. I knew that I really must meet Danny Havoc that night as well, he had announced that he would be retiring later this year and I hadn't took any opportunity to meet him prior to this and as a person that has been a casual fan of his. (Casual fan as in, I am his fan but not obsessily following him, if that makes sense?) Anyway, I was wanting to go meet him before I had gone off to meet Jimmy but my nerves were building up and I didn't want to risk or waste my time meeting Danny then end up missing Jimmy or having to be at the end of Jimmy's line, I was honestly torn. I would take a couple steps towards Danny's line then get out then get back in line then step out. I was like a teetor totter cause I honestly didn't know what I was doing. But the moment I saw the man (you all know which man I was talking about) in that all white attire with dried blood on his forehead and that was run down his attire came around the corner beelining towards his part of the merchandise stand, big King Kong Dawn came bursting through crowds marking my spot first right against the merchandise stand where his things were. Why oh why did I do that to myself? I instantly realize what I was doing or about to do was he was still walking his way towards where I was. There I was, a nervous wreck standing there waiting to greet this blue eyed man (he was blue eyed that day) with his hair combed to one side covered in blood. I stood there to greet him like a dumb idiot, I didn't even give him time to prepare for the fans much less did I give myself time to prepare. I had to just go for it, which I did and how I ended up in this scenario. So when he finally approached, I greeted him with a hi and I know I probably just spilled out everything about how I flew all the way from California just to see him and I know he responded with how he wanted to come to California to perform at PWG which I know that he would fit right in at and he is very unique but I am not even sure rest of the PWG fans are into the all Progress wrestling thing or not. I know that if he does get booked, the chances of me even getting tickets to get into the show are slim to none, to be honest here. Tickets for that show go under 3 minutes which is ridiculous. Why am I complaining about PWG? That should be for a separate post, I progress on. I know I asked him for a signature along with getting a picture, I even had him take the picture (yes, I handed my phone over to him for a selfie) because I was shaking so much. I complimented him on his eyes and I know I said something about my boyfriend wishing to be there. I just know I was a rambling geek. Man, I really wish I wrote this a lot sooner because I wish I remembered everything. I need to invest in one of those Go Pro cameras just to be attached to me every single time I go to meet a wrestler or celebrity so I have video footage of everything that had occured. OH YES! I remember I asked him for a hug, I just know I texted my best friend that he was real because I hugged him. I just know after meeting him, I was so giddy and I talked to Brain Damage but didn't ask for a picture then went straight to Danny Havoc where we chatted a little bit. I told him how sadden I was that he had to retire but it would be for the best because he said it was just his body couldn't take it anymore and I can't be selfish and wouldn't want to see him do more if his body is as bad he says it is to the point of retirement. We began to talk about my shirt 'Die Havoc Die' and the different Havocs in wrestling today. I purchased a photo that I had him sign addressed to me then I got two photos with him. After meeting Danny, I was done for so I had made my way to my rental car and drove the hour and half drive back to my hotel where I ate cold pizza then zonked out for my 4 AM alarm clock to make the travels back home.