#anyway i will add captions with my ratings and reviews later

[retired-ceo]

just realized i should do a books i read in 2022 list... so here

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[christinaengela]

Criticism. As writers, sooner or later we’re likely to encounter it. How we deal with it – either internally or externally – depends greatly on our personality, and also I suppose, on what sort of place we’re in at any particular moment.

Here are some of my thoughts on the subject.

So someone posted a nasty remark on one of your social media book shares, or left a shitty 1 star review and a harshly-worded comment for you on Amazon. You stare at it, re-read it a second time just to try and absorb any sense or usefulness in the words as you fight a rising tide of red anger surging up from your chest area.

Why did they do that? Was the book really all that bad? Was there really something wrong with your writing? How could they be so mean – don’t they realize I pored my heart and soul into this? Is what they said in any way helpful or – no matter how remote – possibly true?

There is a huge difference between someone being helpful (or trying to be) to a writer. “Perhaps you should’ve made the story longer? It was great – just too short!” or “You misspelled ‘bureaucracy’ on page 11!” are examples of positive criticism. My mom always used to praise my writing talent, but frequently criticized my choice in genre – she didn’t enjoy sci-fi – she suggested I write in more contemporary, mundane settings… in genres like suspense, drama, action and adventure! I used to counter with “but I can do that in sci-fi too!”

That sort of criticism is helpful, positive and constructive in nature – and they can be discerned on the basis of their intentions to help the writer to grow or improve their writing, not to break them down for it, or even to cause them to stop writing altogether.

There are numerous and even perhaps unfathomable reasons for people to criticize a writer or their writing in writing – by leaving nasty remarks, bad reviews and even by sending them hate-mail – and on the unhelpful side, they include everything from simple jealousy to disagreement with the writer or their statements, and even disapproval of their subject and the way they address or present it often form part of the motivation for it.

In the following example, a reader downloaded a FREE eBook of mine – a short story called “Death By Vampire”. They left a poor review and a rant on Barnes & Noble.

“This book was only 19 pgs. Had potential. ***spoiler seemed to have a lot of unnecessary information. Also the description of the blood diamonds didn’t make any sense, they are named for their color but the color is green? Needs some editing.” 2 stars – Anonymous

I know this person didn’t actually READ the story, because inside it there was a whole paragraph that EXPLAINED how the aliens called the green stones ‘blood diamonds’ because they had GREEN blood – but it “needs some editing” because he didn’t understand it? All this guy did was expose his illiteracy!

As to length, it was a free short story, but he obviously missed that part too.  Yet that story now has a 2-star review and a snotty comment from someone who obviously has problems with comprehension – and a narcissistic mean streak.

What can I take home from this? Not much – just that some people are basically mean-spirited and will make me the scapegoat for their own failures… but then, being part of an oft-persecuted social grouping blamed for everything from stock-market crashes to natural disasters, that’s nothing new to me. Should I take it personally? I’d like to think not – after all, what real value does unfair criticism really have?

In a technical sense, is there anything I can change or improve on the item involved? Were the words or sentences not clear enough? Were they confusing? Was a thorough spelling and grammar check done during the editing process? I honestly can’t see how I can make the story – or the facts of the story – any clearer without resorting to formatting the eBook using neon lettering, or replacing them with pictures to cater for the illiterate ‘reader’.

Moving on, negative reviews left at book sellers can and do damage a writer’s reputation – and in the long-run, their income. Reviews and ratings affect sales and distribution after all, mainly because readers will be more inclined to look at a book that has a bunch of 4 and 5 star ratings rather than a book that has one or many 1 or 2 stars. Let’s look at an example:

A few years ago I witnessed a writer falling under attack from his former small press, their writers – and everyone else they could rally to their cause. Lies and slander were spread broadly, and I personally witnessed calls being made for their cohort of cronies to ostracize him from the writing community and to even leave negative 1-star reviews on all his books! Other tactics and dirty tricks were employed against this poor undeserving writer, but this one is pertinent to my example. Suffice to say, that writer suffered a breakdown, has disappeared from social media – and hasn’t publishing anything since 2016. In that case it’s safe to say the bullies and haters won.

Any hostile criticism of our work as writers tends to have the potential to cause a writer to doubt themselves. Often that can also be one of the reasons why people leave nasty remarks – the writer or their work has (for whatever reason) offended them – and their intention might be to hurt them out of some feeling of vengeance or satisfaction. Some people, like the unfortunate author in my example are less resilient in the face of such attacks – while others, like me – well, I just don’t care for what the nasties say – anyway, I have more than enough fan-mail and great reviews to compensate. As far as I’m concerned, it’s water off a ducks back – and I’m a very oily duck.

Naturally, there are some things that spring to mind for every writer when faced with stinging and even personal criticism: are they right about me? Are they right about my work? After all, your writing might be utter crap laced with spelling and grammatical errors – and the story might make no sense, have plot holes big enough to drive a bus through, and your characterizations might be almost non-existent – right?

Are these critics giving you advice on how to improve your work? Is there anything of value in their ‘feedback’ you can learn from and use to produce a better story?

If the answer is no, and you’ve reason to believe they’re just being vindictive – such as making personal attacks and indulging in name-calling without giving any serious or pertinent pointers on how to improve your work, then their criticism is actually weaponized hatred intended to break you down! Let’s be honest – when someone criticizes your hard work, your ‘baby’, your pride and joy – it hurts a bit! Part of the answer – not the sum total of it – is of course to grow a thick skin.

In my particular case, I write in the science fiction and horror genres – as well as in non-fiction from time to time. While a lot of my fiction writing contains the usual sci-fi or horror elements, some of it also focuses on LGBT issues and presents these in a sympathetic and favorable light – which naturally draws ire and derogatory remarks from the prejudiced and bigoted who seemingly can’t resist leaving snotty comments on social media ads or shares of my work.

It’s not that my work is badly written or poorly presented – it’s that they despise the people I use as heroes and heroines in my stories and dare to explain and promote them in the face of their ignorance and hatred. I defy the established anti-LGBT stereotypes – and I flaunt it. It’s also that, once they do a little background check, they realize that I’m also part of that same group they’ve been programmed to despise! Add to that, once they confront me and I not only stand up to them, but also trounce them in a debate, that really makes them foam at the mouth!

How dare I? How dare I stand in the open, unashamedly writing about people they hate in a good positive way? How dare I not feel any guilt? How dare I even exist?

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In the below example, I held a free e-book giveaway contest in my Facebook author group in August 2016. I gave away a few books to contest winners. Soon after, the South African right wing ‘Christian’ (aka Levitican) community on Facebook went nuts about me promoting ‘demonic writings’, ‘homosexuality, sodomy and demon worship’! It was truly surreal!

The vast majority of the hate-mail I’ve gathered over the years – and remember the ones I’m showing you in this article are just since the advent of Facebook, from about 2016 or so – have been directed at me for sharing my books or writing or website!

Many of these people express negative ideas and emotions towards me because I’m transgender, a lesbian, an atheist – and because I’ve steadfastly refused to remain silent in the face of the overwhelming wave of hatred looming for numerous diverse minority groups in the world today. This provides one reason – albeit a big one – why most of my hostile critics and haters are what they are, or at least explains why they’re hostile toward me and to my writing.

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My advice when receiving this sort of hate-mail or harsh personal criticism is “take it from whom it comes” – which means, consider who the person is that’s criticizing you or your work, and what their real reasons are for doing so – and give it a value or rating. Is their opinion worth your time? Are they trying to be helpful – or are they simply being hurtful? Should you even take what they say seriously? Should you care? Most of the time I laugh at the voluntary idiocy, poor grammar and spelling in the hate-mail sent my way, and casually toss it in the pile.

I have a use for haters and hate-mail you see, and they’re too obtuse to even realize it.

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By far most of my critics and haters are religious extremist fanatics who engage in lunatic fringe politics and vent homophobic, transphobic and often racist language because they see me as more than just an enemy of their personal beliefs – but the personification thereof.

99% of the time, the people sending me hate-mail or criticizing me as a writer are attacking ME directly as an individual, not the worth or quality of my writing. I’ve also had the occasional odd-ball attack me using the fact that I’m self-published as though it means I’m somehow ‘illegitimate’ and not a ‘real author’, when all this does is reveal their ignorance about the publishing industry.

Here’s a clue, peeps – if self-publishing was in any way dishonest or dishonorable, I would have nothing to do with it. If was in any way, shape or form embarrassed or ashamed of self-publishing my work – or under the impression that it was in any way inferior to books by the big dogs, I wouldn’t be openly marketing myself or my writing as self-published!

It’s worth mentioning that within that same group of people who’ve sent me outright hate-mail, I’ve yet to encounter a single one who’s actually READ any of my books – they’re people who simply seized an opportunity to vent their hatred for me as a person because at that moment I represented the thing they hate.

In that light, this means that while my writing is good, even excellent, it is in their view ‘rubbish’ because what I write (or what I write about) contradicts their indoctrinated belief structure. To the folks who almost invariably misapply basic English words like “they’re/their/there” and “your/you’re”, I’m a ‘libral dirtbag’, a ‘libtard’, a ‘Christophobe’, a ‘commie queer’ and an ‘atheist fascist’ – and somehow inferior to them, not just because I’m part of the LGBT social group – but because I’m not afraid, acquiescent, silent or invisible.

I remind myself that these same characters tend to treat anyone more intelligent or in any way qualified, capable or talented than themselves – like scientists, doctors, artists – writers – and a variety of qualified professionals the exact same dismissive way – and I see them for what they are.

Over the last few decades of internet use, I’ve accumulated an archive of hateful remarks of all kinds, from people determined to convince me of the validity and value of their ignorance, to those who resort to childish mockery and blatant name-calling. (You can view it here if you like.)

I’ve always lived by the motto “if you piss off the right people, you’re doing something right”!

One fella wearing the crazy-pants ranted about how my children’s book on bullying, “Other Kids Are Kids Almost Just Like You” – aimed to teach children compassion for others – would ‘turn kids gay’ and that it was child abuse and I ought to be arrested!

So how do I handle hate-mail? Easy. I shrug it off, have a few good laughs – then save it, take screenshots of it – and use it as promotional material! In fact, I actually look forward to getting hate-mail these days!

After all, so many haters can’t be wrong, can they? 😉

I hope you’ve found this useful!

Take care and have a lovely day!

If you would like to know more about Christina Engela and her writing, please feel free to browse her website.

If you’d like to send Christina Engela a question about her life as a writer or transactivist, please send an email to christinaengela@gmail.com or use the Contact form.

Show your appreciation for Christina’s work!

All material copyright © Christina Engela, 2020.

How I Handle Hate-mail & Criticism As A Writer Criticism. As writers, sooner or later we're likely to encounter it. How we deal with it - either internally or externally - depends greatly on our personality, and also I suppose, on what sort of place we're in at any particular moment.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 15 Review: Diegesis in a Strange Paradise

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Introducing Vangie’s father, the Conjure Man.

We open to the sound of some funky drums as a mysterious old man in a toga-like garment conducts a religious ritual, swaying his stiff limbs as strange lamps burn on an altar in the background. He lays down exhausted on a straw mat as Vangie enters.

“Good,“ says the old man, “you’re just in time.” In the background, the drums continue beating, which makes me wonder: can he hear the drums and, if so, where is the music coming from? If you’ve read my reviews of previous episodes, you’ll know that I like to analyze which elements on this show are diegetic and which are not--which, most of the time, is surprisingly hard to determine.

For those who don’t already know or who want a more in-depth explanation than I’ve previously given, diegesis is a mode of storytelling that shows the actions of a story from the characters’ point of view (the diegetic or intradiegetic level), as opposed to that of an outside narrator (the extradiegetic level). The narrator writes about what the character sees, hears, thinks, and feels, without stylizing it or filtering it through an outside perspective. In literature, this kind of narrative is easy to spot and usually takes either a first-person or third-person limited perspective--or, more rarely, a second-person perspective. A third-person omniscient narrative can be purely diegetic, but only if the narrator doesn’t add their personal opinions or interpretations of the characters to the story.

In theater, film, and TV, determining what elements of a narrative are diegetic is more difficult, because the dramatic arts all rely on extradiegetic storytelling to some degree. The writer(s) and director(s) take on the role of narrator and have to communicate the characters’ experience to the audience in a way that they will understand, often relying on theatrical conventions that aren’t realistic but help them communicate the characters’ thoughts and feelings better.* One example relevant to soap operas like this one is backacting**, which “is to stage a scene so both actors are facing the camera...The idea is that it has the benefit of getting both character’s [sic] faces full on in the shot, so you get the full impact of their acting and/or emoting.” Obviously, most people don’t turn away from the people they’re talking to in real life, and most soap characters probably wouldn’t, either, if they were real people. This makes backacting non-diegetic.

My favorite example of backacting on this show, from Episode 5.

So far under my diegesis tag, I’ve examined Jacques Eloi des Mondes’ vanishing portrait and his ring to determine whether or not those were diegetic. The portrait vanishing is diegetic in the Paperback Library novels based on the show, and we know this because multiple characters reference it. Take, for example, this scene from the first book:

They started to leave the room, but Diana stopped short to stare at the frame where the portrait of Jacques Eloi des Mondes was plainly revealed when she entered the hall. "That's strange," she said, frowning. "I'd have sworn there was a portrait in that frame." A hand took her elbow gently and words were spoken so close to her ear that warm breath touched her earlobe. "But no. It was taken out to be cleaned and will be restored shortly. How attractive you are when you look perplexed, my dear." ***

On the show, however, it’s non-diegetic. No one ever mentions the portrait disappearing and as early as Episode 6, the crew stop removing it when Jacques possesses Jean Paul. Less than two weeks later, his handsome face stays smirking inside the frame whether or not his spirit is inside Jean Paul’s body. When he possesses him, the camera still cuts to the shot of the blank portrait, but the portrait itself is still visible on the set and to the characters. In Episode 12 where Jacques controls Jean Paul for the entire episode, Holly has a short scene where she discusses how much he resembles his descendant, and the portrait is visible--and that’s just one example of many.

The ring, in contrast, is diegetic, which we know because Elizabeth mentions it in Episode 13. It later appears in Episode 68 where Raxl tries to sacrifice it to the Great Serpent. But it also appears for a short time on another character’s hand in Episode 59 before disappearing again, and I’m not sure if that part was intended to be diegetic or merely symbolic of Jacques’ alliance with said character. (I think that, in that instance, it’s supposed to be the latter.)

And now we return to the Conjure Man and the unseen drums in the background of his introduction scene. We know from Episode 12 that Raxl and Quito have tried contacting him through voodoo rituals, which involved (among other things) Quito beating a drum. While I doubt that a hypothetical ordinary human would hear the drums if they were to spy on him, it is possible that he can hear them (either literally or telepathically) thanks to his supernatural powers. If this is true, then the music is diegetic whether or not any other characters could hear it, because at least one character does.

Alternatively, the Conjure Man could have the power to make drums beat on his own, or create music out of thin air like the ghosts in this fun Dark Shadows episode. Kind of a stretch, but it is a fantasy show, and I’m willing to suspend my disbelief in any fantasy elements as long as I think they’re cool. I don’t understand why some other fantasy fans need a pseudo-scientific explanation for fantastic elements in stories; just tell me “this man, who is over 300 years old, has the power to summon drum noises at will” and I’ll gladly accept it, no questions asked. It’s a fantasy story; we don’t need to know the pseudo-physics involved.

Or maybe the music is just regular, incidental, non-diegetic music and I’m just overanalyzing again (which is probably the truth). Whatever. I’d rather spend my free time writing about Strange Paradise than have a social life. ;)

Vangie and the Conjure Man.

Anyway, the Conjure Man tells Vangie that he foresees that he will die soon and therefore she, his sole heir, must become the Conjure Woman. Vangie doesn’t want to, saying “I don’t believe.” However, her father insists that she is best because she “know[s] this modern world” and is “trained for the future when man will wake up to the network of his own mysticism.” (A possible reference to the idea of the Age of Aquarius or the New Age movement in general?) Vangie replies that, although she believes in telepathy and ESP, she does not believe in witchcraft because “its roots are in the past.”

“Where could you find roots, but in the past?” asks the Conjure Man, chewing the scenery. “How can a tree grow without roots? How can you deny your own destiny? Yours is a gift of giving, Vangie. Don’t deny that.”

“I don’t want it!”

“You can’t escape it!” He tries to stand up, but can’t, and tells Vangie the messages or “truths” that he has received. “On Maljardin, the Devil is loose again.” The drums intensify. “Your minister will be sent for. The forces of evil have drawn a battle line between God and the Devil!”

I like this screencap. Taken out of context, it looks like Alison is doing a Raxl impression.

On the cursed isle of Maljardin, Jean Paul and Alison meet in the Great Hall for some recap. Alison repeats her intention to stay, but insists that Jean Paul promise her some things. This pisses off THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES, who decides to take over and listen to the conditions instead, making Jean Paul look like a fool in the process:

Condition #1: Jean Paul informs Erica’s and her father of Erica’s death.

Jacques’ response:

Trolling Alison by suggesting her father might help with his insane cryonics scheme.

Alison objects, saying that her father knows that cryonics is a pseudoscience. “There’s always a beginning,” Jacques replies, mocking her. “Aren’t you proud that your sister is one of its pioneers?”

This pisses her off, understandably. “I was a fool to stay here,” she remarks. But he just keeps talking, first about how no word of the cryonics experiment must leak out (again) and then about transplants (also again). They discuss a brain transplant experiment involving bird embryos by a Yugoslavian scientist named Pavlovic, which actually happened, but with a low survival rate. Clearly Ian Martin did some research on organ transplants, and one has to wonder if he knew of the failures and deliberately used them to foreshadow problems with Erica’s resurrection.

Condition #2: That he bring a minister to Maljardin to conduct a funeral service for Erica.

Jacques’ response: More denial that Erica is dead, plus this argument:

Insane troll logic: “If a man landed on the moon, that means we have achieved the impossible, which in turn means that nothing is impossible. If nothing is impossible, then Erica can come back to life.”

Alison accuses him of denying God, to which he responds that “He and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms.” (Gotta love Jacques dropping hints about his identity.) Cut back to the Conjure Man:

Any idea what any of this means?

The Conjure Man is busy serving Vangie a nice nutritious plate of word salad as he slowly passes over to the spirit world and YouTube’s automatic captions gleefully obscure the meaning of his words even more. The actual line doesn’t make much more sense than this, speaking of a “conqueror of mist” and other mystical-sounding stuff that is most likely nonsense. And he doesn’t deliver it well, because...well...he’s just not a very good actor.

Jacques: “We are not amused. No...wait...” *snickers* “...Actually, we are.” (Note: He doesn’t actually say this, but he should have.)

Jean Paul recovers and promises to bring Matt to the island, while the Conjure Man continues giving Vangie instructions. He tells her to bring the Knight of Pentacles--which Vangie identifies with Dan Forrest--to Maljardin. I need to remember to write a post analyzing all the Tarot symbolism used sometime in the near future, which I keep putting off doing, but I will say that the description of the card at the randomly-selected Tarot website I linked to does indeed sound like a description of Dan.

At the French Leave Café--otherwise completely deserted save for Quito and the bartender--Jean Paul meets up with Matt. He orders a gin and tonic, which suggests that he was already a heavy drinker before Jacques started quaffing brandy all the time while in his body. (Speaking of which, why do the characters on this show and Dark Shadows just leave decanters of brandy sitting out where anyone can slip poison, drugs, or magical potions in them? I can understand why Roger Collins on DS does it because he doesn’t have a brain, but Jean Paul allegedly has an IQ of 187, so he has no excuse.) During their otherwise rather dull conversation, Jean Paul explains that he retreated to Maljardin six months earlier because he had been stalked by the news media his entire life and wanted some privacy.

He asks Matt to come to Maljardin, which he assumes has to do with Holly and probably gets a little too excited (if you know what I mean) before Jean Paul disappoints him by refusing to tell until he promises to keep the real reason a secret. But Matt insists on knowing beforehand and is shocked when Jean Paul reveals that he wants him to hold a funeral for Erica “until the day she rises again and returns to me.” The Reverend decides to humor him, most likely because sailing to the island means seeing Holly again, and he leaves to pack.

Jean Paul is reminded once again that Jacques is slowly ruining his life. He may sit on the big, fancy wicker throne now, but soon enough, the handsome devil is bound to kick the throne out from under him.

After he’s gone, Vangie shows up and so does Dan, which pisses off Jean Paul. Dan confronts his boss about the signature that he left on those business documents back in Episode 4, and Jean Paul lies and claims that he signed Jacques’ name because he “didn’t like the deal.” Dan expresses his worries about both Alison (his fiancée, in case you have forgotten) and the warnings that Vangie gave him about Jacques’ return, which I think is when Jean Paul must realize that Jacques did something with the letter that Alison wrote to Dan that made Vangie concerned (although I doubt he knows what).

We cut to the Conjure Man chanting a spell about a “mild zephyr [that] shall conquer the mist” and a “cooling breeze.” But the spell is not effective, because look who just arrived at the party:

Jacques: “You’ve overstepped yourself, Dan. Go home; you’re not needed here.” *sips gin and tonic with affectedly bored expression*

Dan demands information about what is happening to Alison. Jacques refuses, saying, “That’s none of your business.”

"I am your business!” Dan shouts. “I thought you were mine."

"You presumed wrong!"

"Then let us end this business relationship.” (I see what you did there, Mr. Martin.) “What about Alison?"

“Alison is also no longer any of your business, either.”

“What do you mean?”

Jacques stands up, as though trying to intimidate him. “Get out of my life. And hers.” And he turns and begins to walk out.

“Take your job,” Dan shouts, “and I’ll take Alison!” Good luck taking her back while she’s Jacques’ prisoner detained guest.

“Don’t be a fool, Dan! You’ve worn out your welcome on Maljardin.” I didn’t know you could wear out your welcome before you even arrived.

“You won’t get rid of me that easily. I’m coming, too!” Quito stops him by holding stiff zombie fingers in his face.

Jacques grinning smugly while Quito keeps Dan from following them.

“It could be your last trip, Dan,” Jacques sneers and leaves Alison’s estranged and far less attractive fiancé behind to rant to Vangie about how he intends to find out WTF Jean Paul is hiding “even if [he has] to blow up his lousy island.” Meanwhile, Vangie reads her Tarot cards and reveals that the King of Coins is endangering Alison’s life.

“But who is he?”

What does this have to do with diegesis, you ask? Well, not much at this point, save that, if Dan could only hear Jacques’ minor-key leitmotif playing in the background right at this moment--that is to say, if the non-diegetic music were only diegetic--he would know exactly whom Vangie means.

Jacques cheerfully tearing up a letter after slicing it open with the world’s biggest letter opener.

Join us again on Friday for the funniest of this week’s bad subtitles, and then again next week for my review of Episode 16.

Coming up: Reverend Matt Dawson’s arrival on Maljardin makes shock-waves and Raxl receives an important message.

Notes

* For more information about diegesis (and where I first learned of the concept), see also Joel Schumacher’s Phantom of the Opera: A Video Essay by Lindsay Ellis. The video deals in part with diegetic vs. non-diegetic songs in musicals and why this doesn’t always translate well to live-action film. The segment on diegesis starts at 5:55.

** The author of the blog post I linked to cites Danny Horn of Dark Shadows Every Day (the direct inspiration for this blog) as their source for the origin of the term “backacting.” I can’t verify that Danny invented the term, but most of the few relevant results I was able to find on Google were from his blog, so it’s likely he did. On a random note, when you search “backacting ‘soap operas,’” one of the suggested searches is “dark shadows cat,” which I absolutely adore.

*** Dorothy Daniels, Strange Paradise (New York: Paperback Library, 1969), 66.

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