#anyway it’s time for my break from art cause my hand is hurting like crap

[signanothername]

Hello yes this is done and my soul has been sold

I made this for my Dadueso adopts F!Leo fic so I’d have accurate descriptions and a general guide and then I was like, my fellow Hueso enthusiasts might benefit from this

So here you go

No like literally went through every episode 😔

[multiples-fandomswontkillme]

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

[lovelivingmydreams]

What is a happy ending?

So someone (looks sternly at @rondoel) thought giving me insight in a certain OC of theirs and making me feel things is an okay thing to do. That I won't proceed to write a heartbreaking epilogue to my two part Virgil king story. This one not as long. But still. Enjoy:

What is a happy ending?

"Why happily ever after?" King wondered aloud as He studied their latest piece of art.

No one had ever answered that question for Him. Not in a meaningful way at least. And it never truly stopped bothering Him.

"Your majesty?" Anxiety asked carefully. Probably not sure if he had been meant to hear. King wasn't so sure Himself.

Oh well. He might as well finish the thought. Something interesting might come from it.

"Happily ever after. It's so... boring. Why does everyone like it so much?" He had wondered so often...

Anxiety shrugged. "Princey loved that crap. He hated it when I called out the flaws, though he could be just as bad with plot holes.

It's not realistic at all and... well boring is one word for it." His tone and face could almost be mistaken for dismissive, but King could swear He spotted fondness in the upturn of Anxiety's mouth and a slight wistfulness in the shine of his eyes.

King however was more interested in this more nuanced perspective on the story trope. Answers at last?

Anxiety noticed his king desired for him to elaborate and immediately started fidgeting as he tried to find the words to express his thoughts sufficiently.

"I suppose... everyone thinks that's what they want?" His nerves turn the sentence into a question. "When they are little it's an easy goal. You find the one who'll make you whole, or defeat the villain, or both. And then nothing ever bothers you again.

It's not how life works though... and growing up... I think everyone still has a part of them that wants to hold on to things being that... simple..." Anxiety trailed off and looked up at king curiously. His face strangely focused as if he was looking for an answer himself.

"Simple?" King urged wanting to hear more. Anxiety was so close to making sense. So close to bringing about that wonderful feeling when curiosity was sated. A story complete at last.

"Um... yeah... I mean even I feel a little... I don’t know... it feels right?

When you do the right thing, even when it's hard and you get the stuff you want anyway. And when people who hurt you don’t win. You want the world to work like that. If not for you then at least for the servant girl, who just wanted a night off, or the waitress who just wanted to buy her father's dream restaurant. Hard work, kindness, patience... they should be rewarded right?" Anxiety explained. Sounding frustrated. "And..." he let out a resigned sigh before straightening up and continued more decidedly. "Since the world doesn't work that way... why not escape somewhere where it does?" It was passionate. Perhaps in defense of Roman's favorite thing in the world. Then that fight and righteous defiance fell away in favor of a nostalgic fondness. "Thomas did it all the time growing up," Anxiety sighed before returning his attention to the painting that had prompted the question. A Father's Day movie night.

Hugs and snacks and movies with happily ever afters galore. All of Morality's favorite things.

King had to admit it had... stung to discover that Morality had taken up the role He'd given him even after he betrayed everything that title stood for.

Had he ever felt even the slightest bit conflicted when hearing Roman calling him 'Padre'?

Or was it supposed to be fine, since he thought Roman was the only half of Him who felt attached to him that way?

Had it truly never occurred to him that while he took in the confused Roman, he left behind a disoriented and heartbroken Remus who didn't understand why daddy was ignoring him.

What had he done wrong?

Why did he never get bedtime stories or hugs from dad? Why was he shoved away, scolded, ignored?

Why was he not allowed to play in the imagination with his brother?

The last thought had plagued both halves for years.

Even Roman who had stopped admitting to it to please Morality felt conflicted during story times and hugs to this day.

Telling Thomas that he didn't want anything to do with his brother had hurt more than the bump on his head...

But all of that was in the past. They were gone and their unresolved issues were a waste of His time. He had berated, tormented, Anxiety over this. He would not fall victim to such sentimentalities Himself.

"I see... escapism then?" He muttered, trying to get back on topic and not to show the... somewhat emotional turn His thoughts had taken.

Like His halves, His 'Padre' was gone. He probably never existed in the first place.

And Morality would pay for that betrayal and the way he abandoned Remus and how he made Roman fight to earn his love, only to abandon him as well. His suffering had only just begun.

Not because it still mattered. But... any excuse to justify and fuel His wrath even a little bit more was good enough for Him.

He'd probably avenge slights against his minister simply to feign kinship and watch the traitors squirm under his rule just a bit more. Not that he needed a reason to do anything. But justified rage was so much more satisfying to set loose. Because the targets would feel, deep down, they brought this upon themselves.

"Yeah... there's enough crappy stuff going on in the world right? Thomas... wants to use his talents to make people smile. And while that's cheesy, it's also... well it's him," Anxiety shrugged. King hummed in agreement as He framed the picture and put it away. He'd barely paid attention honestly. The answer was satisfactory. But there was a new question on His mind. As He mused over His minister's attachments to His enemies and how to sever them He recalled something intriguing about his recent behavior.

Anxiety had been pulling away from Morality. Why? What had caused a crack in 'the bestest most dynamicest duoest duo'?

And was this something he could use to forge an allegiance. Or to hurt Morality as deeply as He'd been hurt. Or, ideally, both?

King smirked to Himself as He laid a gentle hand on Anxiety's shoulder. He asked about a drawing of the young side and Thomas. He was pleased to note that His minister no longer shrank away every time He moved in his general direction. He might not be comfortable with His touch yet, but he was getting used to it. Something that would surely get to the others who still tiptoed around Anxiety's boundaries.

Maybe, at some point, he could be made to truly see things His way. To see the traitors for the villains they were. Just the thought of the chaos that this realization would unleash... It would be magnificent.

Morality had forgotten something important about 'happily ever after's.

Bad guys don’t get them. And the victor is always the hero.

It was only right that King reminded him of the shadow side of his favourite ending.

By making him live it.

Virgil knew that it was a bad thing that he found himself enjoying talking about his memories to the king and watching them turn into pretty cool paintings.

He was Anxiety, this was definitely a crisis. He can't relax now, not around the reason of said crisis... but if he doesn't relax a little his thoughts might do something really bad. And if he doesn't do whatever the king wants, then the king might do something bad.

So he had to balance on this weird edge of anxious, but cool with it.

The others were counting on him. To stay safe, to keep it together, to keep King distracted, to find a way to get him to lay off a little...

"Worthless." And... the thing is back.

"Dude, seriously, not now!" He snapped at his... shadow.

King just looked on intrigued. Great. Now the shadow had King's attention.

"Failure," it hissed. Right... King is not his biggest problem right now.

So far the shadow had only been mildly annoying even quiet for the most part. But clearly anxious thoughts made it remember it could be a pain in the behind. And worst thing is it got to Virgil even more because it laid out his true fears for King to see and use against him.

"You... you are just... you're just a thought. You can't hurt me." Virgil insisted.

Thomas could deal with his irrational fits. Surely he could manage this thing, right?

"Monsssster," the shadow hissed. No he didn't think that anymore!

"Guardian!" Virgil bit back. Patton said so, Logan said so, Roman said so, Thomas said so... why cant he just believe them?

He found himself struggling to breath again. The thoughts... they were real now... what if they could hurt him...? Can he die? What would happen to Thomas?

"Begone!" Virgil snapped out of his near attack at the sudden outburst from King.

What...?

He looked up just in time to see a flash of metal and shadow's dissolving figure.

"It'll reform later," King muttered as he sheeted his sword.

"It became too bothersome. You should not let your creations have power over you young one. You are their master, don't forget that," he instructed calmly, not looking at him.

Did he just...?

"Return to your business now, I find that I am in need of a break," he then declared as he walked away, still not looking back.

"But..." he came to a halt. "Should you wish to finish our gallery... I might be willing to indulge your presence later."

Virgil didn't quiet know what to do, so he bowed, just in case the king could see it somehow. "Y-yes my king. Thank you," he stammered hurriedly.

When he looked up, the king was gone.

And Virgil ran. He needed to find Lo and Pat before the shadows returned.

His thoughts were a confused mess... he hadn't imagined that right?

King had really stepped in to save him instead of letting Virgil's punishment, gift, curse, whatever run its course...

And then he left it up to Virgil to decide if and when they'd finish up.

There was probably some messed up reason behind it... but still.

Virgil wasn't stupid though. Even if saving him had been a purely noble impulse, King hadn't undone his 'gift' to make sure it wouldn't happen again. Telling him to put his foot down with 'his own creations' didn't really count.

King still messed up real bad and would have to do something pretty impressive to make up for all of that.

And Virgil was pretty sure that it wasn't just his pessimism talking when he thought that the king was no where close to wanting to make nice with any of them.

Or not for the right reasons anyway.

He shook his head. He can worry about all that later. Right now he has to find the others. Before King runs into one of them.

Virgil's trip down memory lane might've been deemed 'entertaining' or whatever, but he hadn't be around for whatever had happened to make the king be out for blood in the first place.

He didn't want to find out what King's idea of 'having fun' was when it came to Pat, Lo or even Janus. Whatever they did, it was still his duty to protect Thomas. Physically, socially, mentally and emotionally. Whether he wanted him to or not.

And not even King was going to stop him from fulfilling his purpose.

@antiredhuman you wanted to be tagged if I wrote more for this au so here you go! Hope you like it!

[milkybunbuns]

smile → kita.s

Paying off debts - 1

wc: 1.3 k

warnings: swearing? i forgot if there was any, bad pick up line, bribing

a/n: This is one of my fics over on Wattpad that I’m going to continue here on Tumblr! :)) (if any of my wattpad readers are here, I’ll start posting new chapters that weren’t in my book in maybe like 3 days?)

SMILE MASTERLIST

-

3rd year students stood around the halls, holding brochures for their clubs and standing at their respective stalls. the school year had just started, along with your second year of high school, which meant it was time to either find a new club or stick with the club from the year before. it was mandatory to have a club as an extracurricular activity to gain life skills. last year, you had joined the art club, but recently it's been dying out and funds have been low, so that club was basically dead, making it better off for you to find a new club.

"y/n-chan!", a figure ran towards you, stopping in front of you and put her hands on her knees, panting. she held you by the shoulders staring into your eyes, "can you please please please carry on the role of manager, my parents are moving over to tokyo next week and i don't want to leave the boys without a manager, who knows what they could get up to. just please, fill in the role for me? it can just be for the rest of the year, as long as you find a new manager."

"eh, this is a bit sudden?", yui was the current manager of the inarizaki volleyball boys club and was in her third year. the two of you had never interacted much before, being in different grades, but she was the one who had shown you around in your first year, helping you get to classes and let's say,, she took quite the liking to you.

"take this as the repayment for the help i gave you in your first year."

'yuiii-senpaii, you cant just bribe me like that, now i feel obliged to do it."

"that's the whole point! now come on, I'm taking you over to the gym to show you the manager stuff and let you meet some of the players", she dragged you by your hand before you could even argue, heading towards the said place.

"i can walk yer know", you huffed, taking her grip off your hand as you began taking large strides to keep up with her fast-paced ones.

"ehehe, sorry y/n-chan."

"what do you even do as manager?" "you basically help around, setting up the nets, refilling bottles, finding practice matches and training camps for the boys and taking notes. it's not that hard i assure you."

"everything is easier said than done."

"oh shush, we're here anyways", yui slammed open the door with her foot, immediately gaining all the attention of the players.

"yui-san, don't slam the door open with your foot, you could hurt your foot or get sued for breaking the door."

"kita-san, stop being such a worry pants! anyways, here's your new manager, y/n-chan!", she pushed you forwards, turning all the attention to you. the miya twins paused from their practice, looking over to meet their new manager.

"she better not be a miya twin fan-", you heard a boy sitting on the ground grumbling, looking intently at his phone. ouch. that comment hurt.

you walked over to the said boy and looked down at him, hands on your hips with a dark aura surrounding you, you smiled sarcastically at him, "for yer info, I'm not ere' for the dumb miya twins, I'm simply repaying yui-senpai by having to deal with all yer dumbasses."

suna shivered internally, to having the balls to retort since not only did you emit 'evil' in capital letters, kita was also staring at him. you turned away from the boy at him, returning back to your spot next to yui who was discussing manager stuff with the coach. there was a little badge on his shirt which read 'kurosu norimune'.

"...and this is y/n-chan, she's a good kid, so i chose her to replace me as the next manager."

"is that so? well, welcome to inarizaki volleyball team, we hope you take good care of the players", he bowed down to you, which you did as well, "i'll do my best, thank you for giving me this opportunity."

"it's no problem at all, sometimes these boys are quite the handful. now hurry along and yui-san can teach you the basics of being a manager."

"yes, coach."

----

afternoon rolled around in a flash, the school bell dismissing everyone to head to their clubs. as soon as you step foot outside the classroom, an obnoxiously lowed voice called out to you from the stairs.

" heya y/n-chan! let's go, we don't wanna be late, especially on yer first day!"

"why are you making this seem like such a big deal?"

"it is a big deal! they say first impressions are very important y'know."

"eh, sure, lead the way yui-senpai."

the two of you burst in once again, except, this time everyone had been expecting it, so they continued to practise, ignoring the ruckus, until yui spoke up.

"alright yer fuckin' retards, listen up!", everyone turned their heads towards you two, there were many more faces compared to those in the gym at lunch. you turned your head away from the teenage boys and face palmed in embarrassment. "here's yer new manager, y/n-chan. i gotta leave next week, so make sure you idiots treat her well while im gone cause i have eyes everywhere. that mean's you, atsumu", she pointed at the said boy, as he shivered in fear and cowered under her gaze.

"thanks for having me", you murmured, bowing down slightly. generally, you were a quite social and jovial person, but it took you a while to be yourself around new and unfamiliar people, minus osamu who had been in your class last year.

a few moments of awkward silence passed by before yui spoke up again, "what are yer idiots waiting for, introduce yourselves for heaven's sake!", not even kita had the ability to scold or talk back to her...

kita stepped forwards first, being captain and all that shenanigans, "I'm kita shinsuke, captain of this team. it's a pleasure to meet you, y/n-san, we hope that you take good care of us", then he bowed before taking a step back.

then came omimi, "hello, i'm omimi ren, vice-captain and middle blocker, thank you for taking care of us", he bowed as well. okay, so far this team seemed pretty well-mannered, i mean what could go wrong? it's only 2 of all the members who act like total trash (the miya twins).

"hi! i'm ojiro aran, ace and third year. i look forward to being yer acquaintance and good luck dealing with the second years."

"hey, whaddya mean!?"

"shuddup tsumu!"

"Hey, Ginjima Hitoshi, wing spiker, the unfortunate second year."

"what is that supposed to mean!?"

"use your pea sized brain tsumu', he obviously means that you're the worst."

"we have literally the same DNA and crap."

"i seriously wish i wasn't related to yer, but hurry up and introduce herself, everyone's waiting for yer!"

"ah, okay okay, stop hitting me!"

"heyyy, miya atsumu, setter and gurl, are yer a setter? cause id hit that-"

"ow! samu', what was that for!?"

"for being an idiot, i'm doing us all a favour"

"osamu and atsumu, stop arguing, we dont have all day. anymore arguments from you two and you'll be running laps until i tell yer two to stop."

"yes kita-san!"

"suna rintarou, middle blocker."

"hey, i feel sorry that you have to deal with my twin, so im apologising on his behalf. y'already know me, miya osamu, wing spiker."

"hii! nice to meet yer, i'm akagi michinari, this team's libero. i look forward to working with you!"

"Ahh, it's nice to meet all of you as well! I hope we can all get along! Please treat me nicely!", you smiled brightly, blinding everyone while you were at it.

next

[bigskydreaming]

Apropos of nothing other than fuyunoakegata making me think of it with that last post, I’ve gotten enough new followers lately that its worth a refresher slash introduction on one of my personal pet themes: that of the word ‘broken’ in regards to trauma/abuse/rape victims and survivors.

Again, nothing to do with them for using the word, but rather just an awareness of the many ways the word is used in those contexts in our society, and my personal opinion that a lot of those ways are very limited and could use some expansion beyond how we typically see these things talked about.

So the below excerpt is just one I think sums up my take on it all pretty well, and as such is a cornerstone viewpoint for a lot of the stuff I regularly express and/or circle back to, as well as being the scene I think I’ve probably gotten the most feedback/reactions to over the years out of pretty much anything I’ve written. Its YJ-verse, Dick and Dinah, utilizing the Tarantula storyline and the not-at-all-uncommon baby-in-the-aftermath trope, but stands fairly well on its own and doesn’t require any context or give any spoilers beyond that.

****

In the end, it was Dick who finally broke the newly fallen quiet.

"Does Batman know yet?"

Batman, not Bruce. Dinah shook her head. They're one and the same, she wanted to remind him, wanted to shake him, wanted to scream in Bruce's face every time she'd watch him insist on the distinction over the past ten years.

"He's waiting back at Mt. Justice," she said. "But no, he doesn't know yet. He knows something is wrong, but I convinced him to let me come alone and speak with you first."

Dick snorted. "At least he actually listens to you."

"I think this makes the third time in the fifteen years I've known him," Dinah said wryly. "Don't go thinking I'm special. He only listened because I convinced him barreling in here would only make things worse. And the last thing your father has ever wanted to do is make things worse for you. He manages it sometimes anyway, but it's never his intent."

Not that intent matters, or is any kind of excuse for the harm or damage one actually causes, Dinah reflected. And normally it wasn't a line of thinking she'd ever open a door to at all, but with the past two years worth of tension between Dick and his father still a major source of the young man's turmoil, she figured it was worth it to see if Dick would seize the opportunity to defend Bruce. Lord knows Dick could hold a grudge against his father like no one's business, but anyone else trying it in his presence was usually a nonstarter.

To her disappointment - but not her surprise - Dick ignored the bait and instead just grunted. He stared at the floor, face alternately pale and purple under the neon glow that washed through the window via a strip club's signage across the street.

"I wouldn't have broken, you know," Dick said, never looking up. His lips twisted beneath the words, as if they tasted like something sour. "If he came too. I didn't...I don't want him here, not now, or yet, I mean. But it's not like. It wouldn't have broken me or whatever you're thinking. That's all I mean."

"I didn't say that it would, Dick," Dinah said carefully. But not so carefully as to lay credence to the idea she thought he was fragile. Not an easy line to traverse. Where's a tightrope walker when you need one? Oh, right. Crumpled up on the floor of his unlit apartment, afraid to even look at his own baby. Things were off to a promising start. "It's not either or. You're not broken just because you're not alright and you're not alright just because you're not broken. There's room for space in between."

She sighed and cast around the cramped apartment, dragging a chair from the kitchen table to settle down in front of him. The room was such a far cry from the opulence of Wayne Manor. She knew Dick had never been one to buy into the trappings of his father's wealthy lifestyle. She and Ollie frequently attended the same functions as the Waynes, and she'd smothered many a giggle at Dick and Jason's antics as the two reveled in shocking the Gotham elite with loud and pointed reminders of their impoverished 'low class' backgrounds. Still, looking around, she couldn't help but wondering how much of Dick's apartment and its placement was purely a result of not caring about things like wealth and status, and how much of it was a deliberate rejection of those things, of Bruce? Did it even matter? Or was she just stalling?

"You know, I've never really liked when people use that word," she mused. The baby in her arms stirred restlessly, his nose wrinkling. God. As a general rule, she preferred waiting until children were teenagers before interacting with them. She wasn't big on babies, usually - most people who cooed over their shrunken little faces and called them the most beautiful things they'd ever seen were just lying, in her opinion. But this one was a charmer. Or maybe he wasn't, and she was just already hopelessly attached because Reasons. Crap. Of all the times for a maternal bone to materialize.

"Broken. What does that even mean, really? It's just a description of a physical state, but people often use it like a judgment. As though it describes what someone is, instead of simply what state they're in at a particular moment. You can break something and then put it back together so you can never tell the difference, so what does it mean that it was broken? Why does it matter?"

Dick shifted for the first time since she'd entered the apartment. She might not be Batman caliber, but her own reflexes were nothing to sneeze at. Still, the suddenness of his movements were unexpected enough to catch her offguard as he reached over to the side and snatched up one of the escrima sticks he carried as part of his Nightwing ensemble. A slim but sturdy shaft of polished black wood about a foot long in length, it made a hell of a crack when he held it in both hands and brought it down over one knee, hard and fast enough to snap it in two. He tossed the two broken pieces onto the hardwood floor. One rolled over to rest against her foot.

"Can't fix that with crazy glue."

Dinah smoothed her features into careful non-reaction as she bent and reached down to pick up the broken stick, still cradling the infant in one arm as she rolled the shattered weapon in her other palm.

"No, I suppose not. But I bet you I could find a hundred other uses for this piece right here. Plenty of other things you could do with it, or things you could build with it. Use it as the foundation to make something else entirely, or even just carve it, turn it into a work of art, something beautiful. And whatever you end up with, could you describe it as broken? Yes, it wouldn't be your escrima stick anymore, doesn't do the same thing, have the same purpose, maybe what it was is broken. But what it is? What you make of it? Would that be broken?"

Dick jutted his jaw out, mulish, stubborn. A mirror of the expression she'd last glimpsed under Batman's cowl, not even an hour ago. They couldn't be more alike if they were blood. "I know what you're doing," he said.

"What's that?"

"Exactly what I should have known you'd do before I told Artemis she could send Wally to get you. Knew it was a mistake the second he left. I don't need a shrink right now, Canary."

She shrugged. "Good, because I'm done trying to be your therapist. I realized what a waste it was, on my way over here. I never caught a whiff of this brewing under your surface this past year, so obviously our sessions have just been a waste of both our time. I forgot that arrogant smart people make the worst patients."

That was enough to jolt a noticeable reaction out of him. Finally. It was a calculated gamble, one she already regretted as a swift flicker of hurt winged across his face, half-glimpsed and vanished as quickly as it came. It was a little harder for him to banish his gaping mouth. "Yeah, not your usual session starter," he agreed, in only the barest facsimile of his usual clever humor. But it was a start. "So I'm arrogant, now?"

"You always have been," Dinah said gently, trying to soften the blow of her harsh words. She quirked her lips in a half smile. "Just like your father. Difference is, you actually bother with social interaction and you're charming, so you can get away with it where he can't. And Dick...I'm not saying it as an insult. Or that it's a bad thing. I think you and Bruce are arrogant in certain ways, yes. I think you have to be. To do what you both do."

"You're both human, no superpowers, no magic, not even advanced technology giving you an edge. And yet you not only hold your own amidst heroes who have all those advantages and more, you take charge. You lead. You inspire. Mere confidence isn't enough to allow you to do that. You need something that goes beyond that, something that can only be called arrogance, because it's such a bone deep certainty that you can do all the things you profess you can do, that you are the right people to fight the battles you fight, that it's above questioning. There are a million and one reasons you both shouldn't be able to do the things you both do, and if there was even a second you doubted that you could, you probably wouldn't be able to. When you leap off ten story buildings with just a grapple line and your acrobatics to bring you safely to the ground, it's because you believe, no, you know, that you can defy gravity. Even though for seven billion other humans, gravity can't be defied. Dick, I'm an Olympic level gymnast. You don't see me leaping off ten story buildings if I can help it because I know I'm good, yes, but that doesn't mean I know in a battle of me vs gravity, I'm always going to win. You do. You know that. You believe that. And that is arrogance, yes. But it also happens to be justified, in your case."

He mulled that over, not looking thrilled, but at least looking engaged now, and she breathed a bit easier. Good. Engaged she could work with. It was a start. "Okay. Fine. So what about that makes me a terrible patient?"

"I never said terrible," she protested lightly. "I said the worst."

He glared.

She relented. "It's like Superman's invulnerability. Most of the time, that's exactly what he needs to keep him safe. It's all he needs. But in some specific, rare instances, even if it's only 1% of the time, the very thing that makes him so hard to hurt, makes him hard to help. All it takes is that one bullet that can pierce his skin, either because it's Kryptonite, or it's enchanted, or something else....and suddenly, that same invulnerability that keeps him safe 99% of the time is the very thing making it so hard to operate on him, to cut into him and dig out the one bullet that made it past his defenses. Dick, answer me this. What's the first thing you do when you're confronted with a problem?"

"I assess the situation and determine a course of action, I guess," he frowned. "Why?"

"Because when the problem is you, when it's something that's happened to you or something involving your behavior, the kinds of things that a therapist is meant to help you with, you do exactly that. You assess the situation, you assess yourself, your own behavior, and you come to a conclusion. Which means by the time you ever arrive at my doorstep for a session, you've already diagnosed yourself. You've made up your mind. That arrogance that gives you the strength, the certainty, the conviction you need to tackle every other obstacle you face without hesitation, it has you equally convinced that the conclusion you've already drawn about what's wrong with you or your behavior, it must be true. That you've got it already figured out. And so instead of our sessions being about me helping to guide you to a conclusion or helping you find the inconsistencies in your own logic or reasoning - that's not what you're actually there for. Because you're sure you already have the answer, and so instead of looking for it, you're really just looking for it to be validated."

She gave him a moment to absorb that, drawing a breath before continuing.

"And here's where you being so damn smart becomes a problem - because you're brilliant, Dick, just like Bruce is, you know how to read people, you know how to manipulate people, you can do it without even having to think about it. And so instead of telling me what you need to say, you tell me what you think I want to hear. And we get further and further away from actually helping you as you steer our sessions towards the conclusions you've made because of what's bothering you....instead of towards the conclusions you'd draw if you were ready to face it."

Dick leaped to his feet, face flushed in the moonlight. He stepped forward, aborted that when it drew him closer to her and the baby, features twisting in a heart-wrenching moment of agony for the briefest instant before he stepped away again. Carefully breathing in, making a visible effort to drop his voice despite his obvious agitation. Good. Awareness of his surroundings. Thinking beyond the moment to consequences of each action. Engaging more and more with his surroundings. She'd piss him off to Hell and back if that's what it took. Be angry, Dick. Rage. Scream. Yell. Hurt.

"So what?" He asked with a sharp, acidic laugh. He paced, arms buried in his armpits, hunched over, eyes on his boots as he wandered in circles. Pent up, restless energy. All the frenetic motion of Robin, of Nightwing, of a bird made for flying yet still stuck on the ground.

"You think I don't know what's bothering me? You think...I freak out a little and Wally runs to you and tells you something and you come back and find me all freaked out on the floor and you've got it all figured out from there, from just that, but you think I can't figure it out on my own? I'm brilliant, you said, but you think I'm all messed up because I can't face it, I can't see it even when its right in front of me?"

"That's not what I'm saying Dick," Dinah tried, but he just laughed again. Jabbed a hand towards the baby in her arms, took it back halfway.

"I know what happened, Canary," he bit out. "I was there. I don't need you to hold my hand and walk me through it so I can face it. Yeah, okay, I get it. I was raped. Tarantula raped me. I can say it. I'm not - I'm not in denial. I've been doing this since I was ten, I'm not...I know the statistics, I know it's not any different just because I'm a guy. I get that men can get raped, that they can be raped by women, that there's no other word for what happened to me. That it wasn't my fault, that I was in shock, that I can't be blamed for her taking advantage of me in that state. I know all that okay? It's not a fucking revelation to me, I don't need anyone's help to fucking face that!"

"Then what's the problem, Dick?" Dinah asked softly when he ran out of steam, or breath or both. His hair was wild in disarray, his stance a contradiction of defensiveness and a pending attack. His chest heaved like a bellows even though he'd yet to raise his voice past a low-pitched hiss. "If you know all that already, where's the problem? What are you having trouble with here? What reason does someone who's already faced all that have for hiding it from his friends and family for a year?"

"There's no problem, that's my whole point," Dick insisted, throwing his arms wide. "Fine, I freaked out for a minute because I just found out my rapist had my fucking baby, and I thought it was over and done with but....jesus. I'm not...it's not because I can't deal with what happened. God, nothing even happened! It was barely anything. I barely even remember it I was so out of it, and then it was over. She didn't hurt me, its not like it was painful or I was drugged or it left me damaged or something, okay? I told you, I've been doing this for ten years. I've SEEN victims okay, real victims, women and even men who are so fucking traumatized by what some sicko did to them they can barely get out of bed in the morning. I've seen victims left beaten and bloody by their attackers, who've...it was nothing like that, okay?"

Dinah nodded. "And that. That right there. That's exactly what I'm talking about."

Dick blinked and rocked back on his heels. Blindsided by her calm and her seeming non sequitur. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you misdiagnosed," she said with a helpless shrug. "You've been so busy reacting to what you thought was your problem, what you were convinced must be bothering you - whether or not you were able to admit that you were raped, that you could be raped even though you're a man, let alone an accomplished fighter able to protect himself - that you left yourself wide open to something else entirely. Tell me. What do you know about Impostor Syndrome?"

"It's a term sometimes used to describe over-achievers who have trouble internalizing their accomplishments. Perfectionists who think they're frauds because they don't know how to take credit for their own achievements and say its because of luck or timing or something other people did," Dick frowned, puzzling through both the question and the aim of it. He raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like something that applies to someone as arrogant as me."

"Don't be a little shit, Dick," Dinah said with small smirk. "And you're right, I don't think any of that applies to you. However, it's also used in another capacity, to describe trauma survivors who are unable to internalize their own trauma. Who deflect from it, or mitigate it, treat it as less than it is on the basis that it wasn't as bad as what's happened to someone else. It's especially common in trauma survivors who are noted for being especially empathetic or who have caregiver personality types. People who are so used to self-identifying as someone whose role or purpose is in helping others, that they find themselves unable to identify as traumatized because it might shift the focus to themselves instead of people they feel need it more. Does that behavior sound a little more familiar?"

Dick hesitated, eyes on the floor and darting every which way as though looking for escape from a trap.

"It should," she pressed on. "Considering you've been doing that for a long time, much longer than just this past year. Pretty much as long as I've known you, in fact."

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you do whenever someone brings up your parents or their deaths?" Dinah asked softly. He flinched. Ducked his head to the side. Jaw tightened again. "You say it was a long time ago. Or that at least you have Bruce now. Or that you wish other orphaned kids could be as lucky as you ended up. Always shying away from the idea that you might need sympathy or comfort because of what happened to your parents and pointing instead to everyone else who needs it more. And it only got worse when Bruce adopted Jason."

"Don't -" Dick warned. His head snapped back up, fire in his eyes, but she refused to be deterred. Not when she finally had his full attention.

"You never allowed anyone to dwell on any of your myriad traumas once Jason came along. Not just your parents, but what happened with Two-Face, the first time you faced the Joker, nothing. You'd always deflect, always shift things back around to Jason. And what a hard life he'd had. So much harder than you, you insisted. At least your parents loved you. At least they didn't abuse you like Jason's father abused him, or were a drug addict like his mother was. Someone mentioned the time you spent in a juvenile detention center as an eight year old, all because some racist bitch of a social worker didn't like that you were Romani, and your response was that at least you didn't have to live on the streets like Jason did before he met Bruce."

"This has nothing to do with Jason!" Dick ground out, heated.

"It's not about Jason, Dick. It's about you. Because your brother had a hard life, yes. It's true. He suffered terrible traumas before Bruce found him and adopted him. And not a single one of those things are made less true, or invalidated or in any way threatened just because terrible things happened to you too. So why do you insist your pain was less than his? That yours didn't matter just because his existed?"

"It's not the same thing," Dick insisted stubbornly. "You can't compare what happened to my parents to the twelve years of shit Jason had to live through."

"I'm not though, Dick. You are. You're the only one saying one must be worse than the other. All I'm saying is both existed."

She sighed. "Trauma isn't a scale to be measured on. It doesn't require a minimum threshold, and it doesn't have a ranking order. It's not about how much harm was caused or how much damage someone did, because at the end of the day, trauma is transformation."

"What do you mean?"

Dinah held up his broken escrima stick, still cradled in her hand. "Trauma is force that causes change. It's not about the act of damaging. It's about what's left behind once the damage is done. I could break this stick into two pieces. It would take a certain amount of force, a certain amount of damage. And once that was done, we'd be left with two pieces here instead of this one. But then give me another stick the same size, same dimensions, only this one is made of metal. I could break that in two as well. But it would require a whole different kind of force, a whole different order of damage. But in the end, once it was done, we'd still be left with two pieces of that too, instead of the one we started with."

"Two different sticks,” Dinah continued. “Two different traumas. Two different applications of force. And the only thing in common is in the end....both sticks would be transformed. Neither would be what they were originally. Not less. Not more. But different. Changed by the trauma they endured. You want to quantify that trauma? You probably could. It'd be arbitrary, but you could do it. You could calculate the force used, define parameters for the damage it caused. But what would that mean? What's the outcome? What happens because you decided one trauma was greater than the other? How does that alter the fact, the reality, that in the end, the survivors of those two different traumas are changed? Something different from what they started as?"

"But it is different," Dick insisted. He looked confused though, rather than forceful. "Context matters. The situations matter."

"Yes, they do," Dinah agreed. "But it's a question of focus, not degree. Which trauma was worse only really matters when you're focused on the trauma. When you're looking at what the trauma leaves behind though? When you focus on the survivors? All that really matters is...how are they different? How were they changed?"

"Dick, you only started getting angry and frustrated when you compared what you went through to what other rape victims you've seen over the years have gone through. What they went through is terrible, yes. It doesn't mean what happened to you wasn't terrible as well. You said you weren't hurt, it wasn't painful, she didn't damage you physically. That doesn't matter though. Because rape isn't about any of those things. It's not about pain, it's not about how much it hurt. Rape is about theft."

He flinched at that, taking a step back.

"Rape is theft,” Dinah pressed forward. “It's betrayal. It's someone taking something they have no right to, something precious, something that can't be taken back. It's taking away someone's right to choose who they share their body with, its using someone's body against them, against their wishes. That's what Tarantula did to you. Whether it hurt or not, whether you remember it fuzzily or in full detail...she took something from you, something you can't get back, and in doing so, she changed you forever."

He shook his head, eyes back on the ground. Denial but not denial. Acceptance but not acceptance. She forged on.

"And the thing is, you're right. You haven't been in denial about what happened. You know that she raped you, that that's what it is. What you haven't faced though is that it's not about how much that hurt you. It's about how much it changed you. Because you're different now, aren't you? And you're smart enough that you figured that out as soon as it happened, that you're not the same anymore, because I'm willing to bet everything looks different to you now. Because you lost something you didn't even know you could lose until it was gone. A sense of security you took for granted, that something like this could never happen to you, except now you know that it can, and it did. We're all made up of our experiences and your experiences now include something they didn't before, something big, something that left a sizable impact, and the be all and end of it all is that you've changed, and you know that....and you keep looking for an answer as to why. Why is everything so different now? Why are you so different?”

She sighed softly.

“And the problem is the only answer you have for that, you decided wasn't good enough for you. Because it wasn't as bad as it could have been. As bad as what happened to other people. And so you've trapped yourself because you know something's different but the thing that caused it, the thing that changed you....it wasn't big enough to explain this change, you decided. You didn't suffer enough, it didn't hurt enough, and so it's not a good enough reason for you to not be who you used to be. And so you keep finding the flaw in yourself, deciding that it must be that you're weak, that everything unsettling you, upsetting you, it's not because what Tarantula did warrants those changes, it's because you can't cut it. That's what you've been telling yourself, haven't you? You're not a survivor, because you don't think there was anything for you to survive. You're not traumatized because the trauma doesn't count. You didn't suffer enough, so that can't excuse all the turmoil you feel."

Dick paced restlessly, all that frenetic energy he always carried with him ratcheted up in intensity until Dinah was half convinced he was going to shake himself to pieces if he didn't find an outlet soon. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite ready to stop.

"All those other victims you described seeing over the years. When you helped them, did you tell them you were sorry for what they went through?"

Dick paused and raised haggard eyes. "Of course I did. Why?"

"Why did you?" Dinah asked, arching a brow. "You didn't do anything to them. You weren't apologizing for something you caused. So what did it mean, to tell them you were sorry?"

"I don't know. It's just...it's what you do. It's a comfort."

"Why though? What about it makes it a comfort?"

"I don't know, it just is. It lets them know somebody cares, I guess," Dick raged. "What are you getting at? You have all the answers, you tell me!"

"Think it through, Dick," Dinah said, firm. "They don't know you. You're a stranger to them. What does it mean for a stranger to tell a victim they're sorry, that they care. What does it matter? What does it do for them?"

Dick stared at her. His face wide and open and searching as he hunted for answers in the shadows of his room, of his own mind. He looked like he'd run a marathon, his body limp and exhausted seeming, like he was only remaining upright by the barest of threads.

"When I tell someone I'm sorry for what happened to them. I don't know. It tells them I see them, I guess," he said hesitantly. She nodded, encouraging him to go on. "That I see what they've been through. That I'm sorry they went through it."

He focused his eyes on hers, with a little more clarity this time. "I tell them...they survived, I guess. That what happened to them...it didn't just happen, it wasn't supposed to happen. But it did. It mattered. What happened to them mattered."

"Yes," Dinah agreed softly. "And every victim you've ever helped, as Robin or as Nightwing, every survivor you've told 'I'm sorry this happened to you' - every time one of them looks in the mirror and recognizes that they aren't the person they were before it happened, that they've changed...they can hold on to that memory of you saying you're sorry. And they know. It happened. It mattered. It is the reason they're different. It is the reason they changed."

Dinah hesitated, and then she said: "I'm sorry it happened to you, Dick. I'm sorry it changed you. I'm sorry that you can't go back to the way things were. I can't tell you it will get better with time. You aren't injured. This isn't a wound that will scar over if you just leave it alone long enough. You can't heal a transformation. But you can decide what you change into. You can decide who you become, even if its not what you were. It'll still be you. A whole you. A complete you. Just a different you. Just like you became someone different after your parents died. I never knew you before that changed you. But that didn't make the you I met any less worth knowing."

He sobbed. Just once, like it was ripped out of him. A tangled, tormented wreck of a sound, his face contorted in a rictus of misery beneath eyes that glistened with a watery sheen, reflecting the wan illumination. It was all he allowed himself, before he found his usual iron control and slammed the gates shut, expression going blank, but it was enough. It was a beginning.

[avionvadion]

Forest Deep: a fanfic mixing Secret of the Cursed Mask and the actual Inuyasha anime itself. https://archiveofourown.org/works/24115702/chapters/58056064

Summary: Naraku had one goal- to destroy Inuyasha. Now with his new companion he has an idea how to make that happen. Brought to the Feudal Era by an unwanted Summoning, Irene's in search of her older sister and the one who brought them there. With the help of her new friends she might just find them, but it's hard getting through battles- nonetheless the day- with her lung problems. Why is this Naraku so cruel? What does he gain from hurting people? Who is his new friend- and what's underneath that mask she wears? Irene doesn't know. But she'll find out- one way or another. She just wished she had her sister beside her as she did it.

The first drawing is basically the story cover. I drew it back before Irene’s hair had a consistency and I had a better grasp of the art style XD The second image is from the end of chapter 20 and the last one is for chapter 15. 

Story: 

"I-It's…" Oh gods. "It's a saying where I'm from. Just- Just ignore it. I speak nonsense. Um. Look. You don't want to stay here, right? I don't want to stay here either. I have a sister I gotta make sure ain't dead, some friends to get back- granted… they probably don't want anything to do with me anymore, and an evil half-demon to stop, so~!" I huffed and stood, brushing some dirt off my pale blue jeans. I walked over, holding a shaky hand out to her with a grin. "You can come with or you can stay here and go crazy! Your choice."

Her eyebrows knit together. "For what reason did you desire the Magatama fruit? Most here are… filled with greed. They want its power for themselves. I, too, was selfish and… it brought me here."

"It…" I hesitated. Memories of the villagers falling came to mind. "I… I need the fruit to break a barrier. If the barrier doesn't break then… more people are gonna die. And… I don't want to see that happen."

"That's sounds awful…" Shizuno said, bringing a hand up to her mouth. "A-Are you certain that it's not another lie someone told? You could have fallen into a trap."

"I mean, probably?" I made a face, moving my head to the side and shaking it, shrugging my shoulders. "Buuut I have no reason to distrust him, you know? I-It's weird. Like, yeah he can be pretty shady when he wants to be, but he's helped me out this far and it's because of him I can talk to Shikigami spirits and heal people. So! I think he's nice. He did mention that this would be really dangerous and I was a firm believer I wouldn't survive. Was that a lie? Nope. Here we are! In a magical space surrounded by a bunch of crazy people."

"You are…" She frowned. "...strange. You speak of dire circumstances, yet you smile so brightly. Why do you behave so casually?"

"I just do." I was still so tired. "Life just sucks. That's how it works. No use mopin' about."

Unless of course several people had died. Damn it. I can still hear their screams, the children calling out for their parents as they ran for their lives. The blood splattering onto the ground… and staining Kohaku's kusarigama.

"Anyway! You never answered my question. You comin' with me?" I stretched out my fingers and wiggled them at her, staring at her expectantly. "You know you waaaant tooooo~! Far over the misty mountains cold~ to dungeons deep and caverns old!" My voice cracked and I coughed, hacking into my sleeve. My voice really could not go low. It was so distressing. The woman gave me such a strange look, but she reached out and took my hand. I felt so lightheaded. "Oh? Yay!"

She shook her head at me, folding her hands close to her chest. "We could be trapped here in eternal suffering," Shizuno told me, "yet you sing? Why?"

"Because if we're gonna be suffering eternally," I declared, holding an index finger up wisely, "we might as well have fun with it. Sadly I don't remember all the lyrics, but! It's a good song." I approached the mountain wall, staring up and squinting my eyes as I tried to gauge how far up we would have to climb before we reached the next ledge. My hands were all scraped up. "Okay… calm down. We can do this. You up for the climb?"

"Y-Yes, I suppose… what about you?" She stared at me, frowning. "Your skin is quite pale…"

"I'll be fine." I had to be. "My… My friends are waiting for me."

If they even still thought of me as one.

"And… your sister?"

I didn't answer. I wasn't even sure she was alive. "If I don't get that Magatama fruit… more people are gonna die. I… I don't want her to be one of them." I looked back at Shizuno, forcing another closed-eye grin, ignoring the lump forming in my throat. I had to be strong- for her. She was in pain as well. Her entire village was destroyed. "So we gotta keep going. Up and at 'em!"

I cracked my knuckles and reached up, grabbing onto a root sticking out from one of the rocks. This part of the wall was covered with vines, but there was no telling if they could all hold. Shizuno followed behind me uncertainly, grabbing onto a rock and climbing. "Th-This is very dangerous!"

Well, obviously. But I was convinced that we couldn't quite… die here? I've seen so many people wandering around and not one skeleton. At least there weren't any demons nearby in this spirit realm that could eat us. I don't think I'd taste very good. Ick. My mind flashed back to the mansion and I cringed, temporarily halting in my climb. Don't freak out. I had to stay calm. This is fine.

I'm fine. Always. Always fine.

I may be slowly breaking apart, but I'm fine. It's how I am.

This is just life.

It's my fault those villagers are dead, so I have to avenge them. Don't I?

Suddenly the vines I was climbing broke and I let out a small shriek, falling back towards the ledge below. The wind around me picked up pace and suddenly my descent slowed, causing me to blink. Then once I was close enough to the ground it stopped and I hit my head, crashing hard onto my back. "O-Ow! Frick!" I cringed and curled onto my side, bringing my hands up to the back of my aching skull. It was being put through so much abuse today. "Dude, that hurt!"

"A-Are you alright!?" Shizuno called down. She was at least thirty feet above me, clinging tight to some vines. "The wind just- how on earth-!?"

"Spirits." I hissed, wincing at the bump that was definitely going to be there for a while. The wind helped enough for me not to die, but wasn't completely forgiving to leave me free of injury. "Eugh…" That seriously hurt, but at least it wasn't fatal. This proved that one of my theories were right. Kazumi would have us wander forever in insanity, but she would not have us kill ourselves. "Frick."

I stumbled, wobbling over to the wall and leaning against it for a moment until my vision cleared. The world was trying to spin on me.

"Need to… keep going." I wheezed. This air spirit guardian person was such a sadist. "Have to… save them…"

My fingers gripped weakly at the roots. I wouldn't be able to climb in this state.

"Naraku… must be… stopped…"

I'm so dizzy. My forehead pressed against the rocky mountain side, eyes closing as I waited to catch my breath. That scared the crap out of me- falling like that. I hated it. After a few long minutes I grabbed at the vines again, fingers feeling numb and tingly, and I kicked at the wall with my bare feet. Being weak is one thing, but being stubborn was another. I was determined.

"I will… defeat him…" I wheezed, reaching up and grasping tiredly at a rock jutting out. It crumbled and I had to go for one higher up, stretching my arm painfully. "Barrier… it will break…"

Naraku sent Kohaku and Kanna after me, and why? Because Anastasia wanted my soul for some god awful reason that still wasn't explained. He made them attack the villagers that were helping me, and if Kagome didn't crack the mirror and force the souls to be freed so many more would already be dead. They tried to help me and Naraku forced Kohaku to kill them because of that. He was awful.

He was more of a madman than anyone else in this place.

The air around me seemed to grow gentler, my body becoming lighter and moving a bit faster. It was almost as if it was giving me a boost, but I knew that couldn't be the case. It was so aggressive earlier. After what surely must have been an hour I reached the ledge I fell from, reuniting with Shizuno who watched as I fell onto my front, eyes closed and breath heavy. "You are not the most healthy person, are you?" She asked.

"I wonder what… gave you that idea?" I wheezed, the sarcasm dripping off my tongue. "I told you… sickly human… didn't I?"

She gave a small smile, almost amused by my weird ways. "You did. Will you be able to make it to the top? There is still quite a ways to go."

"Yeah, just… need to… rest a bit first. Is that okay… with you?"

Shizuno nodded. "Yes… we have all of eternity, after all. Time does not seem to pass in this place. I have seen many arrive here, yet… they never aged. It is rather concerning, but there is nothing we can do. I fear many years have already passed since I was first brought here."

Wait, what? Oh no. My eyes widened and I sat up, looking at her in alarm and ignoring the rapid pounding of my heart. "N-No way… no, no, no! We… We have to hurry! I-I can't-!" I can't be trapped here forever. I have to get that fruit as fast as possible. If Maria was still alive then I can't be left behind. "The mountain! W-We have to… to climb…!"

I stumbled over, dazed and desperate, grabbing at the roots and struggling to climb. Shizuno dashed over and caught me when I fell, startled when she felt the heat radiating from my body. "I-Irene! You are feverish!"

"M'fine." I mumbled. "Have to get… to Sango…"

She, Miroku, Shippō, and Kirara are all up there dealing with the air spirit alone.

"Don't wanna see 'em hurt…"

I'm so sleepy. I want to take a nap.

"Gotta beat Naraku… and his dumb barrier thing…"

"Rest first. We have time." She said softly, voice so soothing. Shizuno carefully moved me away from the wall, keeping her arms around my waist, setting me down on the ground beside her. My head fell against her chest and my eyes closed, giving in to the comfort she gave. A hug felt so nice right now… yet her body was so cold. Her fingers ran gently along my hair, fiddling with the short strands. "You are fighting so strongly right now, are you not? It must be hard…"

"S'not… just… hurts."

"Why do you want to fight this Naraku so bad?"

"He hurts… people." I told her quietly, finding myself being lulled to sleep by her gentle touch. "They… helped me a-and he… killed them."

"He did?"

I nodded, making a small noise of confirmation. "He had… Sango's younger brother… attack. H-He's controlled by him, so he can't… fight back. She's always crying when she… has to face him. I don't like it. She's so much better… when she's happy…"

"I see. So Naraku is the one to blame."

Yes. He made Kohaku hurt them. It was all that evil half-demon's fault that the villagers are dead. "Naraku… killed them…"

"If that is so… then you should be able to climb the mountain now."

"...What?" My eyes slowly opened and I blinked, turning my head to look tiredly at Shizuno.

Her features seemed to change as the wind around us blew stronger, her long black hair shifting into something shorter and more white in color. I yanked myself off of her lap, watching as her colorful kimono become a pale blue, a white cloth draped over her shoulders and wrapped around her arms. As I stumbled into an upright stance, standing and backing away slowly, her dark eyes became an icy blue, lips dark and almost purple in color. I hadn't seen her entire appearance before, but I was certain now as to why Shizuno looked so familiar.

"K-Kazumi?"

…

"Where did she go!?" Sango demanded, whirling around to try and locate where the air spirit disappeared to. They were just talking when the mist became stronger, the entire area around them being covered in fog. The demon slayer couldn't see five feet in front of her. "Miroku! Shippō!"

"Here!" The fox demon informed, about ten feet back.

"I'm over here!" The monk shouted somewhere from her left side, sweeping at the area around him with his staff. "I'd use my Wind Tunnel to suck in this mess, but I might anger the spirits further if I did and cost Irene her life! Sango, what should we do!?"

"I-I don't know!" For once the demon slayer was at a loss. There was no enemy to fight, no goddess to appease. Only a spirit set on challenging their friend to a test of truth. "I… never realized she felt so guilty for what had happened…" Sango said after a moment, looking down at the hiraikotsu in her hand, closing her eyes with a pained expression. "I was only focused on myself. Miroku, I…" She rested a hand over her face, ashamed. "I'm a terrible friend."

"No, Sango, don't blame yourself." The monk shook his head. "I, too, did not notice. I was believing us to finally be able to close the gap and become proper allies, and yet…"

"She's always blaming herself!" Shippō stated, frowning deeply. He appeared greatly bothered. "Irene has such a guilt-complex for some reason! I don't get it! She's always apologizing for every little thing, no matter how small it is! Inuyasha was always yelling at her for it!"

"I-I thought she was just shy." Sango admitted. "But… I guess there's more to it. What do you think, Miroku?"

"Anything could have caused it." He informed them, something unsettling forming in his stomach. The monk always had been unable to refuse helping a young woman in need and the one in trouble now was a friend. Yet how could they protect her if they didn't even know what was wrong? If they couldn't even reach her where she was now? Why did Irene feel the need to place the blame on herself? "I'm afraid we'll just have to ask and pray she will tell us when she returns."

"I hope so…"

…

"H-How did you-!?" I pointed at her, dumbfounded, then gestured to where the brunette used to be. "Sh-She was just- hah? Gah! Shapeshifter!"

I took several more steps back. The woman's expression became blank once more, resembling more of the air spirit I had met earlier. "She was nothing more than an illusion. I created her as a guide, just as I have done time-and-again for those who come up this mountain. A rare few have ever been able to accept their truth and continue forth up the mountain. They were always too trapped in their greed, their selfishness… and would never think twice about abandoning someone else if it meant reaching their own goal."

What is she saying? I don't understand. My head hurts so much from this; I was still so dazed.

Kazumi closed her eyes, opening them only when her purple lips tilted upwards into a smile. "You have passed my test, Irene. You have accepted that Naraku was the one to blame for the villagers deaths. The children did not die because of you. I have seen into your mind… I know what you saw. I know how you felt. With this test I was able to attune your heart and I have come to the decision that you are indeed worthy… of a Magatama fruit."

"But… I literally didn't do anything?" I don't get it. I'm too dizzy for all this. "I just climbed a mountain…"

The air spirit looked amused by this and went on to explain. "Though they scared you, you tried to approach those wandering souls and save them. When you saw the apparition I created… you tried to give her the courage to go on. Though… unorthodox in the way it was done… you remained strong for her for as long as you could. But you are only human- and one who is prone to illness cannot keep on for long." She glanced up at the mountain, icy eyes following the path up. "The wind will help you on your climb up the rest of the mountain. You need not fear falling; now that your mind is clear of guilt… the roots and rocks along the cliff will not break."

I'm still so confused, but alright. "Um, thank you…?"

"Do not thank me just yet." She warned. "If you so much as waver in your thoughts you will fall once more down to the bottom, and your soul will wander here for all eternity like the rest." Kazumi waved her arm and then she was gone, replaced by nothing but more fog.

My eyebrows raised and I shook my head incredulously, unable to believe the audacity some spirits could have. Like, seriously? Jeez. Crazy lady. She was so much nicer as Shizuno. At least she was giving me some advice… kind of. Was this all because I blamed myself for what happened with Kohaku?

That's what I'm getting from that conversation anyway. Ugh, I have such a migraine. I want to go home.

I need another hug.

I walked over and grabbed at the roots, hands shaking. They didn't feel as weak and numb as before, but they were bleeding. I had scraped them up quite badly during my climb. That strange feeling appeared again as I tried to move up the mountain, like the wind was giving me a boost. I supposed it actually was doing that, as it was helping me move a lot faster than before. I reached the next ledge in record time.

I tried not to think too much, focusing on the task at hand, determined not to fall below.

My heart wanted to waver, to believe that the children's deaths were my fault, that everyone who died should have blamed me, but… Shizuno's words stuck. They may have been protecting me, but it was by Naraku ordering Kohaku that they were killed. I had no control over the boy's actions. It was not my fault.

It was his.

The fog slowly cleared away the closer I got to the top and the people wandering around had vanished. I huffed and trembled, feet and hands scratched up and blistered, legs and arms sore. If not for the wind pushing me up- as if trying to say hurry up, stupid human like an irritable spirit- I would have collapsed long ago. I dragged myself up to the top ledge where I had been thrown off when I first met the guardian spirit Kazumi, struggling to push myself forward, and wound up clawing at the ground.

My poor fingertips were all bloody.

"I-Irene!?" I recognized that voice. I fell on the ground and rolled onto my back, wheezing and letting out a few coughs. I was so exhausted. "Oh, thank god! Miroku, Shippō, look!"

"Irene is back!"

"She passed the test!"

I could see the group dash over to me, Sango quickly kneeling by my side and helping me sit up. I began to tear up at the sight of her. Wasn't she mad at me? "Irene, you're burning up again! How badly did you stress yourself out!?" She asked, voice almost going into a sisterly scolding tone before relief crossed her face. "I'm so glad you're back…"

She surprised me by leaning down, wrapping her arms around me tightly."I should have paid more attention to your feelings. I'm so sorry."

"I-It's okay." I choked out, awkwardly hugging her with my arms so not to get blood on her armor. I'm such an idiot. They didn't hate me after all. "I-I'm fine. You're the one who was upset, so…"

"But so were you!" She pulled away, gripping my shoulders tightly with her hands. "All this time you've been festering hate and guilt inside of you- and for yourself no less! Ever since I've met you you've been apologizing left-and-right for things you had no control over! Irene, it's okay to be selfish! Not everything is your fault!"

I couldn't speak, too stunned by what was happening. This day was so dizzying. "I-I just… want to help." I finally got out, stuttering on my words. Her eyes were so intense; it felt like they were boring into my soul. "I-I can't do anything useful, so…"

"What do you mean by that?" Miroku demanded, stepping up. Kazumi was still nowhere in sight. "You've helped us countless times; we've told you before. Just who told you that you were useless? That made you believe you could guilt yourself for everything?"

[collxpsedhexrt]

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x19 Review

A Moving Day was a lovely episode though one that had too much filler for such a late episode. Let’s dig in!

Positives:

Despite the cut ep and the re-shoots they were able to give Bex and Bowie a lovely wedding. Bex and Bowie have really been one of the core story lines for the show and it’s nice to see them get such a happy ending. There was a lot of history packed into Bex thanking Bowie for sticking it out and boy was the pay off ever worth it.

This smaller wedding works much better for their dynamic than the big farm wedding did and having it just be a main character affair makes the show more equal. And the snow and the trees and mountains and gazebo made for one of the most visually stunning eps of the show. Almost like a farewell to filming on location in Utah.

Asher’s performance of You Girl was awesome, glad they played what seemed like the whole song. 

Like Celia, I’m also glad no one said ‘um’!

It was nice to see Celia again. I’m glad they were able to give her ample screen time this ep to somewhat make up for what she’s lost. It makes so much sense that she’d be so into puzzles. And really showcases her personality that she climbs a mountain in heels. 

This really was a nice send off for the whole Mack family. Andi gets the nuclear family she’s always wanted, Bex and Bowie get the happy ending they’ve waited 14 years for, and Celia gets to see her wayward daughter take charge of her life. 

It took until the penultimate episode but we finally met Jonah’s mom, Judy Beck née Bartholomew (Terri really does like her Biblical names). That she ended up marrying one of her background helpers is a love story for the ages. 

I’m glad they gave Jonah a happy ending and we can end the series knowing that his family is in a better place and on track to recover from bankruptcy. 

I’ll have more to say about the filler in the negatives section but I did like Buffy’s deconstructed toast line, Cyrus not being self deprecating about his strength, and Asher almost breaking character while doing his mom’s dance. 

Nice that they snuck in one more Buffy picking up Cyrus moment. Truly those two have the best friendship on this show. 

I’m almost certain that Bowie scaring Celia was a nod to Trent scaring people on set, he has a whole instagram story dedicated to him spooking his co-workers. 

They brought in one of their casting directors, Steven O’Connor, to play the officiant which was a nice gesture and of course we got one last family cameo with Coco Angel playing Judy. 

Re-Shoots:

Bringing in this section since most of this ep were re-shoots. I’m not going to nit pick the plot holes that arose because of them: like how did Jonah learn You Girl without Bowie teaching him, how did he write the extended version, how Jonah and Cyrus and Buffy got to the Gazebo, why Cyrus and Buffy were dressed as waiters and didn’t actually do any waitering. Obviously whatever the original Gazebo event was would have had differences and production had limited time and budget to turn it into a new wedding as smoothly as possible. 

Not much actually happened in this ep and that was a sad side effect of the re-shoots. Scenes like the Macks in the car and the Macks hiking dragged on so long because they were easy to film fairly quickly, just like the party scenes in A Good Hair Day were quite long. 

I’m actually glad that they didn’t bother giving a reason for Bex suddenly deciding to get married. I don’t think it would have made all that much sense in otl anyway but without Ham I don’t think they could have come up with a good enough justification. At least with Ham it would have made some sense that he could have mended the rifts between Bex and Bowie and Bex and Celia since he was always the peacemaker and reasonable authority figure as well as a surrogate father and best man for Bowie. 

It seems that every story line except for Tyrus was damaged in some way by the cuts and re-shoots but definitely Celia suffered the most, which is such a shame.

Negatives:

I can’t believe the show decided to waste precious time on a toast making competition in the second to last ep of the entire series. It might have been fine in 3a but to have that filler for a cold open so late in the game is awful.

I gasped when Judy asked Jonah if she could finally meet his friends. He’s been friends with the GHC for like 14 months at this point and they still know nothing about his family? They’ve always kept Jonah apart from the GHC in a lot of ways which hasn’t been to the show’s credit. And while I’m glad that we finally met Jonah’s mom, it shouldn’t have taken this long. 

I’m not surprised but I was disappointed that we never heard that Jonah told his parents about his panic attacks. I get that in America’s horrifying healthcare system that they probably wouldn’t have been able to afford treatment but at least if they knew they could support him and try to help.

Looking Ahead:

Terri must love Winnie the Pooh if she’s having Cyrus quote him as shown in the most recent finale promo. The way Disney cuts the quote with clips from the ep is very clever: we have Tyrus being brave enough to confess their feelings, Muffy strong enough to be vulnerable and get together, and Jandi smart enough to know that now is not a good time for them go get back together. 

Looks like Terri was able to get ample screen time for TJ and Marty so Tyrus and Muffy won’t feel rushed. 

Very glad that Cyrus is the one who approaches TJ at the bench. I’m very interested to see how we go from delusion to confession on Cyrus’ part. Certainly they look happy when Cyrus asks if he can sit and Cyrus is obviously there because he wants to confess.

I assume the bench scene will come late in the ep. Cyrus seeing TJ talk to Kira must be what causes him to feel like he was deluding himself but what spurs him to decide it’s worth the risk to confess to TJ I don’t know. If the music performance is after Kira’s appearance than maybe Cyrus is feeling forlorn and then TJ appears to perform with him, in a way making up for costume day, and that gives Cyrus hope. Or if the performance is before Kira than maybe it’s what gets Cyrus’ hopes up only to have them crushed before someone or something gives him hope. Regardless of which scene is when, I do think that Cyrus and Buffy both give each other the final push to go seek out TJ and Marty and lay it all on the line. 

I’m trying to keep my expectations low since it’s still Disney but I do think we get hand holding based on their bench scene positioning and the fact that Ciris got to hold hands. I think it’s likely they’ll use the word boyfriend and I do think they have some brief post canon scene inside before the party clears out and that’s likely where Tyrus and Muffy have an interaction. I would also like Andi at least to congratulate them but I’m not holding my breath. Having TJ use the word gay would be amazing but seems unlikely and Luke will be able to confirm it on social media anyways. Having Cyrus compliment TJ’s outfit and say it brings out his eyes would be a nice little moment if Terri could swing it. Josh has heavily hinted that we’d see some pay off to Cyrus calling TJ oblivious back in 3x07 and it would be great if we could see Cyrus using a mashup name for him and TJ like was able to with Iris. 

Nice to see them make use of Luke’s piano skills and that means we’ll learn something new about TJ as well as learning his name and of course for most of the audience, the reveal that TJ is gay and likes Cyrus. 

Seems like Cyrus, TJ, Buffy, Bex, Bowie, Amber, Jonah, and Andi are involved in the song, not sure where Marty is. Buffy compliments Marty and says he was funny and I wonder if he did some solo performance beforehand or after. 

If they sing the theme song that’s cheesy af but I can’t see what else they’d have the rights to. 

Muffy confession is outside which makes sense since they’d want some privacy for the Muffy kiss. Very smart to have them canon in the place they first met and once again I’m so glad they got Marty back, a Wuffy endgame just wouldn’t have been anywhere near as good. 

I think the scene of Cyrus and Buffy standing inside in their jackets watching Bex and Bowie dance in their dress and tux is likely after they come in from confessing to their boyfriends and near the very end of the ep. I think Andi showing the mains that she’s cleared out Andi Shack because she got into SAVA is probably at the very end and one of the last scenes.  I don’t know if the show is gonna pretend she’s starting at SAVA immediately because the finale is in December and she would’t be starting high school for 9 months which takes away a lot of the emotional impact of her moving. Or maybe she gets to start early or has to transfer to some new art middle school to finish up 8th grade in order to beef up her skills before starting at SAVA. 

No sign of Kira in any of the promo clips and TJ arrives at the party alone which fits with her appearance meant to be a surprise twist as well as brief since Raquel was only on set for one day and that was the day all the other main and recurring kids were on set and her screen time comes out of TJ’s screen time. I think her 30-60 seconds of screen time will be by far the worst part of the finale. She’s been the most poorly written character on the show; her motvation going from trying to hurt Buffy to trying to date a guy she knows is gay and I’m sure her apology will probably introduce a new motivation, she just wanted a friend or some crap like that. On the plus side it doesn’t look like she sticks around so we don’t have to see TJ befriend her for no justifiable reason though I do think that ‘’sometimes there’s a nice person inside trying to get out’’ line is said to her by TJ or about her by TJ which is awful. I do think that she encourages TJ to talk to or hang out with Cyrus or something and that begins the ‘redemption’ we’ll luckily never have to see. 

We’ll see such growth on Amber’s part from her behaviour at the first party to now.

Jonah gives Andi the bracelet maybe? I don’t think they canon but I do think they leave the door open to get back together in the future. 

I wonder if Celia is coming back to Shadyside or if she’s leaving for good and I wonder if we’ll get a hint for a Bexie baby.

I’ve been hard on Terri but I do trust that the vast majority of the finale will be great and that she got the best ending possible for the show and I’m glad she fought as hard as I’m sure she did for the wonderful Tyrus ending we’re getting. 

It’s going to be bittersweet getting that payoff while also saying goodbye to the show but at least with the longer length we’ll get to see pretty much all of what they filmed. 

We’re on the cusp of watching history being made as Tyrus becomes the first gay couple on Disney Channel. With that in mind, I’d like to remind everyone that Tyrus week starts Monday July 22nd at 4pm eastern standard time and I hope everyone reading this will participate in whatever way they can so we can get Tyrus to number 1 on fandometrics. 

Can’t believe I only have one more review to write. It’s gonna be a great week and a great ep and I can’t wait for us all to see it!

[sleepyxdarling]

Yoooo what the fuck!!! That wow don’t know what to say I’m horrified and intrigued to see all the other dudes backstories. After that I think I need fluff so can I get how the boys would court there darling. ❤️

I am for the fluff!

Yoshi

prince of tsundere is awful at compliments face to face so expect lots and lots of love letters

like lots of love letters! All the love letters

also flowers

And sour candy..oop

If you dont like sour candy then oops but he will probably still send them cause he bought bags of it and needs to get rid of them somehow

After endless amounts of letters and gifts he writes you a letter to ask you on a date

Mind you he never told you who he was or what he looks like

You could say no

Let's pretend you say yes for your sake

Date at a local fair

When he shows up he looks so adorable and handsome..but that mouth though

"hah? You look.."

He wants to say amazing and hot but...

"you look weird..oi it's chilly wear my coat"

It's not chilly at all but if you refuse

"you have sweat all over your back and it's gross! People are staring! You want to look weird just wear it!"

Total lie but you believe it

The date is just two talking but if Yoshi knows one thing..he spoils you

If you even glance at a booth

"you want it? Idiot..come on"

If it's a prize booth he is winning the biggest one.

If it's good he is getting it

Expect to hear him bitch bout it afterwards

"wasting all my money..god you are so needy"

When it starts to get darker you two sit at a bench eating a snack

Yoshi will kiss your cheek while you are eating

If you say something bout it

"shut up! Damn so annoying.."

Boy is really happy and will ask you for another date

Shun

However you guys meet doesn't matter..expect him to beg for a date

You will probably say no but that's okay

He will smother you with so many gifts that it's a little much

Haha so many flowers!

Like did he buy an entire store?!

So many expensive chocolate!

The biggest stuffed animals!

After so much begging you say yes

He buys out an entire theme park for a few hours

Just you two!

He drags you everywhere

"hey! Let's try this!"

"that looks yummy! [Name]! Let's share it haha!"

He is pretty exhausting to deal with

He is like a little kid

He will win so many prizes for you that you can't carry them so he has to put them in the car

You guys rode every single ride like twice

You guys are every single food there was to eat

At the end you both ride the ferris wheel and shun is cuddled into you half asleep from sugar crash.

Boy is clinging for dear life

"[name]...please.. don't let it end yet"

His cuteness almost murdered you.

At the end of the ride he is all drowsyand sleepy

"let's.. exchange numbers..okay?"

Ryuji

He is more of a nerdy crafty one

He made a rose bouquet out of book pages

Arts and craft for days

Be ready for ultimate romance

Will paint for you

All of them will be painting of you

When it comes to asking you out he will get his students to help

He will have them make paper hearts

Cue him asking you out by tossing them in the air

"love is in the air! Hahaha..haha...ha..please go on a date with me"

Cue a crafty date

Strap in cause you both are taking painting classes

Lots of dad jokes

Like so many..

He will be such a goofball and make you laugh

He is so nervous though

He will feel like the date wouldn't be fun for you

Are you having fun? Please say you are..his heart can't take it

Will be a wreck

Spills paint all over himself when he sees you smiling and having fun

At the end of the date he will give you his painting

It's the painting of the Galaxy

"we were supposed to paint fruits ryuji.."

Wait.. what?!

Well crap.

Cue him rambling about how he should have been paying more attention

One kiss on the cheek shuts him up

"thanks ryuji... it's beautiful"

Oh dear.. he's in love

Suke

Oh no..

He has no idea what to do

How does one create romance???

wikiHow does not help

End up giving you a bag of brightly colored feathers

Why?!

"male peacocks show off their feathers when they wish to court their mate..I do not have feathers. These are real peacock feathers..Should I have dyed my hair instead?"

Oh baby no..

Next day he gives you seashells

"they are the smoothest ones I found..I spent 12 hours on the beach searching for only the best ones for courting"

Maybe you should stop this..but you are curious what he brings next

The next day it's bones..suke why

He is all marked up

"i stole the bones from all the dogs in my neighborhood...dogs save bones cause they deem them valuable..I thought it will be a nice gift..was I wrong?"

You decide to accept his date before he brings the dogs next time or hurts himself more

Date at the beach!

He can't see you in a swimsuit but he figured you look amazing

Walking on the boardwalk!

Like the others he will try and buy you food and stuff

He kinda broke though

"i don't have enough money for the bus if I buy this..courting is expensive"

Buys it anyways

Walking on the sand is fun too!

As far as swimming suke is a little nervous but will do it if you go with him

After a bunch of fun you two sit on the sand and watch the sun go down

"the heat..is decreasing..we should head back"

Will walk you home fist even if it gets him lost

"i had fun..lets do this again"

Grabs your hand and kisses it

You don't know if you should kiss him back but you kiss his head

Suke tenses up but plays it off cool

He is so flustered that he runs into a pole..

This boy is whipped

Ryo

you got a favorite celebrity?

He will find out who and send you signed merch

You get all the atheistic pictures!

He will send you letters

He is a pervert and a dumbass though so very short letters

"you look hot- ryo"

Will give you a camera if you want one

Also VIP pass to see your favorite musical artist

His confession will be pretty lazy

Will give you a rock with writing on the back

When I say give you I mean he throws it at your window

He didnt think it would smash the window

Oops...

Well anyways you say yes..mostly cause who knows what he will do next

Date at the zoo!

Lots of animals! Yay

He takes lots of pictures

Is such a perv

"[name].. what color underwear you wear?"

Just when you are about to slap him he does some handsome shit

Cue him taking his hair out it's ponytail to fix it

He is so pretty...

Or he will smile and make a cute remark about an animal

Damn him

Honestly though if someone says something to you he will break their neck

"what a snacc they are!"

"oh so you've chosen death"

He will buy you one stuffed animal and one snack

He is not an atm

Near the end of the date you two take a seat and review all his pictures he took

"hey..this date was pretty cool..next time let's go to the aquarium"

You get a kiss on the lips

One quick yet steamy kiss

Cue him licking his lips and giving a perverted smile

"tasty~ i wonder if you taste this good everywhere"

"i..uh...RYO!"

boy laughs and makes his escape

Taro

Oh he is determined to go on a date with you

Is the only one to make house visits

"ive come to bless the house!"

"I didn't as-"

"BLESSING TIME"

he does this everyday...every single day.

It comes to a point where he pops up just to hang out

He comes up with an excuse though

"I bought these snacks and need someone to try them with"

"haha..I forgot my cross here"

After a few weeks to a month of this he comes up with one more excuse

"I got two tickets to an amusement park..I have no one to go with..oh noo.."

And that's how you find yourself wearing mouse ears while eating a mouse shaped waffle..

Honestly though it's fun

He isn't as energetic as shun but he is all for going on rides

He isn't going on roller coasters though

If you pressure him prepare for a different side of him to come out

"i said I'm not doing it."

Instantly feels bad so he goes on..

Is crying the entire time..like the entire time

Is clinging to you by the end of it

This does not stop him from riding other ones

"I have to redeem myself as a man! Let's do another one"

By the end of the date his head is in your lap cause he got sick

"[name]...did I ruin the date?"

"taro! Of course not.."

He sits up excitedly but accidently kisses your mouth

Cue him turning red and getting off the bench

Bowing x100

"I'm sorry! So sorry! So so so sorry! I can't believe I did this! Forgive me!"

He calms down when you hug him

"i had fun taro..lets do this again next time..okay?"

When you walk away he just falls to the ground laughing happily

He looks insane..

If someone looks at him

"the fuck you looking at?! Can I not be in love damn it!"

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

Chat Blanc Trailer Theory

This spawned as a combination of 1) me trying to put the Chat Blanc trailer clips in order in some way that could fit in a 20-minute episode, 2) a crack theory that got way too out of hand and ended with me writing an entire episode, and 3) my desperate need to see actual character development and communication happen at some point in Miraculous. So take this episode outline that’s technically crack but probably still way more developed than whatever Chat Blanc’s actually going to be. (Under the cut because this got ridiculously long)   Featuring my inability to write angst without fluff and my absolute love of Alix

The episode starts out at the very end of an akuma battle. Sabrina’s been akumatized for reasons unrelated to the plot, Ladybug devilizes the butterfly, they say “pound it,” Chat says something like “see, that was an easy battle, I didn’t even need to use my cataclysm.” And Ladybug’s like “I still think you’re being too risky, you can’t just run into situations like that-“ but they’re cut off because they’re right next to the Agreste mansion now and they see the devilized akuma fly through the wall and inside, and Chat’s like “oh no,” and this is his house so he’s naturally even more curious and he just runs in through and window ignoring Ladybug’s calls for him to wait. She’s exasperated but her earrings are beeping, meaning she has less than a minute left, so she detransforms, very briefly talks to Tikki, and retransforms and immediately uses her lucky charm, hoping it will give her some way to find Chat Noir

Meanwhile Adrien chases it (like a little cat chasing a butterfly aww) and somehow ends up in his father’s secret basement room, he sees Gabriel monologuing about “I failed this time but it’s only a matter of time before I save you-“ but then Mayura’s pops down the elevator like “sir there’s an intruder” and Adrien doesn’t quite know what’s going on but he’s absolutely panicking. Hawkmoth, still not knowing who chat noir is, tries to somehow monologue to explain himself but as soon as Adrien recovers he’s trying to fight Hawkmoth, he yells out cataclysm but he doesn’t know what to cataclysm, Hawkmoth says out loud that Emilie’s his wife so Adrien knows and doesn’t want to murder his father, especially not before he knows the whole story, and again, he’s pretty emotionally compromised and thinking is difficult. So he’s fighting both Hawkmoth and Mayura at once with one hand and ends up being pushed upstairs and then onto the roof (because obviously Gabriel’s first priority is to protect the secret coma mom room) and then Ladybug jumps back with some banter trying to keep the conversation going with chat noir and she can tell he’s hurting but she does manage to get the basic gist of what just happened (she doesn’t get Adrien’s identity though) There’s a lot better matched of a battle, although Mayura knocks away her lucky charm and it falls off the building, but then Hawkmoth’s like “I sense strong negative emotions coming from you” to Chat Noir (who he still has no idea is Adrien) and he calls out one of his roof akumas to evilize chat noir. We don’t see where the akuma lands because the camera is pointing at a terrified looking Ladybug.

So chat’s still unused catacliysm goes off, and we’re going with the theory that he somehow desptroys the moon and causes Paris to flood, and he also starts a giant storm, and Marinette doesn’t know what’s up at all but she’s very frightened obviouslys (so it’s snowing and the strreets are very slowi;y starting to fill with water but it’s not an instant flood) and then of course her earrings start beeping again which means that she’s going to detransform any minute and she’s like “wow, I do not feel very lucky right now.” Oh also, it literally wasn’t realized at first amid the chaos and also the building cracking but the blast seems to have just destroyed Hawkmoth and Mayura. At this point, chat blanc is just sitting still looking a little feral and crazy in his eyes, and Ladybug tries to approach him but he hisses aa her and she doesn’t know what his powers are but she doesn’t have time to deal with this now, she has like ten seconds before she detransforms, so she leaps off the building into some little alleyway right as her suit fades away, and she gasps for air and she’s trying to organize her thoughts enough to talk to Tikki but she’s just stuttering (also again there’s a storm so she’s freezing). And then of course, she turns around and Alix is staring directly at her. It doesn’t even matter what the lucky charm was but Alix is holding it and she’s like “I saw you drop this so I went to go try to pick it up for you” and it’s at that point that Marinette just starts absolutely sobbing. Alix has no idea how to comfort her but she just kinda pats her back and tries not to freak out about Tikki appearing (though her eyes do go a bit wide) but eventually she’s like “ok so obviously you’re Ladybug, would you mind filling me on on the rest of what’s going on because the storm’s getting worse.” And Marinette’s like “oh crap I totally forgot about that” Also just so we’re clear, Tikki isn’t mad at Marinette at this point, she’s doing her best to calm her down because so much craziness has happened anyways.

There’s not a lot of time to go in depth (20 minute time limit and we’re about 5-7 minutes in, the 5 minutes after Marinette uses her lucky charm should actually be five minutes of run time) but Marinette confirms that she’s Ladybug, that chat noir’s been akumatized, and that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth and also that she feels very lost and she has no idea what to do now, she doesn’t have a plan. And then Alix is like “cool so it’s my turn right? I have the last chance kwami, I only come in when all hope is lost.” And Marinette’s like “Future bunnix said it is your Miraculous in the future, but I haven’t given that to you yet so it’s not really yours.” And Alix is like “well then it’s about time you gave it to me.” So Marinette manages to find Master Fu nearby (possibly using aforementioned lucky charm), picks out the rabbit Miraculous, and gives it to Alix. Marinette decides she needs help from past chat noir and she needs Alix to find him so she can figure out what specific emotional vulnerabilities he may have or what powers he might have, and her kwami says that she has the power of last chance, she can time travel long distance (much further than the snake) but because she’s still a child, she can only time travel once before recharging and she’s not really going to be able to control how far back she goes very well. She also will have less control if she goes through more time loops, so retrying things over and over again is a really bad idea that could easily end up with her trapped in ancient Egypt or breaking time. So she’s going to have one shot and she needs to use it however she can and then come back with whatever information she has, while trying not to break anything in the past timeline so that she doesn’t have to go back and change that too, if at all possible. The goal is to use her powers as little as she can while she’s still figuring it out. She asks Marinette to help her come up with a more specific plan and Marinette starts figuring things out but then chat blanc jumps into the alley where they’re hiding and Marinette yells “spots on!” so she can get superpowers back and then chat, who looks way the heck more like a threat now, starts fighting with Ladybug as Alix quickly last-chances her way out of there.

So just like with Ladybug and Chat noir, Bunnix has a 5 minute timer going, so she quickly gets to an alley, detransforms, and comes out to see that school just got out. Nathaniel waves at her and she’s like “sorry can’t talk right now” and dodges away before she can be seen by herself because she knows that her past self would be immediately suspicious and she doensn’t want to start something she can’t deal with. She’s trying to figure out what day it was, she doesn’t recognize it as any specific day but it seems to only be a week or so in the past at most. Also, Alix is narrating this to her kwami as she figures things out, and she very quickly deduces that Adrien is chat noir, but her kwami warns her not to reveal anyone’s secret identities to each other. So Alix finally spots Adrien, but he immediately gets into his car with a bodyguard, and Alix doesn’t think she’d be able to break into his house very well, she needs to find a way to get a note to him.

She does the logical thing first and tries to text him but her phone’s trying to text Adrien a few days too late (it’s still on her time) and so the messages won’t go through. She has no idea how to explain the situation to anyone so she can borrow their phone without suspicion, and she’s also just not thinking completely clearly (it is her first mission afterall), but the fact that she’s hiding and there’s only so many hiding places just outside of school leads to her seeing Marinette talking to Tikki. Tikki is trying to discourage Marinette from her plan to sneak a gift into Adrien’s house as Ladybug, because she could be seen and blow her identity, but Marinette’s like “I’ll be careful, it’s fine.” So Alix, clears her throat, and Marinette jumps while Alix pretends to not have seen the kwami, and proceeds to distract Marinette with whatever contrived conversations she can come up with.

“So… Marinette…. Physics class was fun today, wasn’t it?”

“Physics class was cancelled today, you were there.”

“Oh yeah! Of course, I just meant that it was fun… that we didn’t have it… How’s your art project coming along?”

“The one that was due yesterday?”

“YEP! Haha I’m so bad at turning things in on time.”

“Alix, I’d love to talk but I really need to go-“

“Oh no is that an akuma! Nevermind it’s just a pidgeon.”

Meanwhile the bunny kwami is sneaking a note that Alix had written to Adrien/ chat noir into Marinette’s gift. Could Alix have just snuck in herself? Probably. Is she still working out how to be logical because this is her first mission? Absolutely.

Marinette finally escapes and now needs to run before Adrien gets home, but surprise, she gets just barely too late and Adrien sees her sign the gift and leave as Ladybug. He sees that the signature on the gift says Marinette and he’s like “wait a minute that must mean that-“ and Plagg’s like “please don’t say it out loud. If you don’t say it out loud I can have plausible deniability and Tikki won’t murder me.”

Cut to outside, where it’s just starting to rain, and Marinette detransforms and Tikki’s like “oh my god Marinette he totally saw you. What did I tell you? You’re going to have to give up your miraculous now, I can’t just NOT tell Master Fu that this happened.”

At the same time, Adrien opens whatever the gift is and is super happy, but then he sees the note from Alix that implies she needs to talk to him about something Chat Noir related and he’s like “oh no this sounds like an emergency” so he heads out as quickly as he can, it takes him a minute to get past Natalie but he says he just needs to pick up something he dropped outside and then runs before she can argue.

Now, Marinette’s still just outside and she’s absolutely panicking about her identity being revealed and losing Tikki, and Tikki’s not yelling anymore she’s just sad she’ll likely have to say goodbye to Marinette because Marinette’s safety comes first. (Remember, Tikki knows that Adrien is chat noir.) Marinette’s feeling hopeless and mad at herself so of course Hawkmoth, without knowing the full situation, sends out an akuma for her, and Adrien sees first Marinette, and then the butterfly from the steps.

He basically knows that Marinette is Ladybug now, and he knows it would be disastrous if she were akumatized, so without thinking he runs while transforming and cataclysms the akuma an foot away from her face.

Marinette watched him do this, so she knows he’s Adrien right now, and Tikki’s like “sure why not, now I can at least explain to Marinette why this was so bad.”

Alix (who’s still here) has been watching from the sidelines and finally decides that enough things have already been messed up that she’s going to have to find a way to undo it anyway, so she goes up to them and does her best to briefly explain the situation.

They sit down and have an actual honest talk and a little bit of time to process the reveal, and Adrien looks really sad to find out his dad is Hawkmoth, but it’s like how he was at the end of Chameleon. He’s hurting but he’s not about to be akumatized.

Plagg, on the other hand, is reeling. He’s furious with Gabriel Agreste because he always suspected that he was a terrible father, he saw what Adrien wouldn’t, and he’s so attached to Adrien, Adrien doesn’t deserve this. And Alix, who hasn’t been doing this long enough to have formed presumptions, asks if kwamis can be akumatized. They all say they don’t think so but that’s not proven.

Eventually Alix has to head back, leaving Adrien and Marinette to have some serious conversations about there dual lives. However, as soon as Alix gets back to the present, she’s stopped by future, adult Bunnix. She winks at Alix and tells her she did an amazing job on her first mission, but she already knows what happened (obviously, because it’s her), and she can’t redo it herself because of the whole issue with time travelling multiple times increasing the chances of her breaking things. Alix was afraid that she didn’t get anything useful at all but Bunnix says that she got exactly what they needed and also everyone has to have their first mission at some point. She also tells young Alix that she (older Bunnix) can handle this battle, but there’s one more job that young Alix may have to do so she should just be ready for if she gets a not from older Bunnix

There’s a brief cut back to Marinette and Adrien outside the Agreste mansion, they both seem to realize that things can’t stay this way and that Bunnix is going to somehow undo this which is so sad because things make so much more sense now, and we get our first love square kiss. This is possibly also the scene that was written to make the audience cry. I haven’t decided if it’s going to be specifically undone within the events of the episode (time limits again) but it obviously didn’t happen because otherwise the future wouldn’t be what it is.

Back in the present, future Bunnix and Ladybug are fighting a wild chat blanc and trying not to get obliterated by random storms, there’s a really heartwrenching “I know you’re in there” fight, more so because Chat blanc doesn’t seem to want to do this. It’s clearly hurting him to see Ladybug in pain but he’s just so much more feral and out of control and he doesn’t know what he’s doing or how to control himself, and he’s scared.

Future Alix says that the akuma is in chat noir’s ring (she’s like 90% sure and the doubt is killing Ladybug because what if it’s not-) but Ladybug trusts her enough to sneak the rings away from chat noir and crush it, and luckily a purple butterfly comes out, which means that her miracle cure will fix everything. She also can’t help but realize that chat noir detransformed into Adrien as soon as his ring was gone. She says “Miraculous Ladybug” and everything’s sort of back to normal? But Adrien still looks like he’s in pain and Hawkmoth’s still nowhere to be found. So Plagg appears after this and it turns out that it was his negative emotions that Hawmoth sensed, and that the akuma attached to, and the fact that Plagg was more powerful and less in control of himself lead to chat noir going crazy like that. Because Plagg’s a kwami, Hawkmoth wouldn’t have been able to mind control him or force him to give up his Miraculous, so he was just exploding with power and negative emotions instead.

There’s a second scene of Adrien and Marinette dealing with the reveal, this time with a very different tone, they’re both so much more scared, and Bunnix says that it’s okay, they don’t have to know yet, she’s not going to force them but if they want she can undo it.

And Adrien asks what the point would be then, if they just give up it’s worth nothing, why are they even Ladybug and Chat Noir if they can’t handle the endgame.

And Bunnix says that that’s completely wrong. They’re still a little kitten and minibug right now, everyone starts out small, they don’t even realize how far they’ve come. Every akuma they face, every argument they get through together, makes them so much stronger, and it’s okay if they’re not quite to the endpoint yet, they’ve already become the best at being Ladybug and Chat Noir in all of Paris because they’ve been practicing and learning. Someday they’ll be ready, progress will sneak up on them until they’re more powerful than their current selves could imagine. And even now, what matters most is that they help in the little ways that grow, by helping individuals who have been akumatized and making residents of Paris feel safer, and by keeping the miraculouses safe.

So there’s a second love square kiss as they decide that it’s okay to save this as a problem for later instead of dealing with it now, and then the episode ends at the beginning with Alix skateboarding directly into Chat Noir before he can see the butterfly and chase it, and it’s implied that Alix still knows all even if it’s been erased from everyone else’s memories, and she’s holding the watch now.

Ladybug says goodbye to Chat Noir, still in her opening argument that he needs to be more careful next time, and Chat’s like “ok, fine, if it worries you that much I’ll be more careful” and they can both see that the other is stressed so they hug and part ways.

[weissfai-blog1]

Best Wishes to You.

Ae Pete Childhood Friend AU I just realized, why does all my fics contain scary, torment and full of heartache plots? I wanna see the darkness inside me? Hmmm.  

Ae and Pete grew up together. Both of their mothers are friends from high school, though the difference was that Ae’s mother is not from a rich family, while Putch came from a very well known family. But that doesn’t stop the friendship of the two that extends towards their sons Ae and Pete. 

The mansion of Putch is just right beside the 4 storey building house of her friend. 

When both mother’s got pregnant, they tease each other that their two babies should be married so that they can be a real family. 

Ae was born months earlier than Pete.  

Ae become the protector of the shy, clumsy and often teased Pete, cause Ae doesn’t like it when Pete cried. When they were kids, he once fought with Pete that end up into the later crying – his chubby cheeks so red and his eyes are shimmering with tears – he felt his heart break and vow that he will never let Pete cry again even if he finds a crying Pete super cute. 

Whoever makes Pete cry will answer to Ae’s fist and kick. No mercy whether it be a girl or a boy. That continued till their high school. 

Ai Koon Chai is the word of endearment of Ae to Pete that started when both of them are only 7 years old. 

Pete seems so delicate and unlike him who often has bruises here and there. 

Ae’s mother will often knock his head when he forces Pete to play outside and making the young master dirty all over his white shirt. Pete will then cry and tell his mother, ‘Please MaeMae don’t hurt my Ae. Don’t hurt his head, he might turn into an idiot.’ When Ae heard that, it was his turn to knock Pete’s head, Pete will massage his head while Ae was getting his 3rd knock from his Mother for hitting Pete. 

Putch will only laugh when Pete will arrive dirty with mud and grass on his clothes. Par Jiew will laugh along and fix the young master before the master of the house arrives. 

When Pete at the age of 9 was inside the mansion learning English and other complicated stuff, Ae was outside playing football with his friends, getting yelled at by his mother, getting into fights with other kids, racing his bicycle with the other kids. But he never forgets to come back exactly 5pm caused that means Pete can play with him.

Pete will cry when he will see Ae with a bruise or a scratch and sometimes blood on his knees and elbows, Pete have perfected the art of taking care of Ae in that department. There’s always a first aid kit inside his room or bandage, gauze and ointment inside his bag.

Ae hates Pete’s dad for breaking Pete & Mae Putch heart when he abandons them. From then on Ae swore that Pete will never feel abandon nor will he ever feel that he is not needed.

Ae often spend the night at Pete’s room and this is their usual ritual:

Ae and Pete will talk about anyone in their school

Pete will laugh non-stop because Ae apparently gain a nosy friend in the form of Pond who Pete thinks is so funny (though Ae will never let Pond near Pete cause he knew how perverted that jackass was – their first meeting was him saving Pond from their teacher when the later drops his porn mag)

Pete will read while Ae will watch the latest football match on Pete’s large TV

Pete will beg Ae to help him with his math problems

Ae will be so prideful to let Pete help him with his English but a puppy pouting Pete will have his way and teach him anyway

Pete and him will play video games and when Ae sees that Pete was about to cry for his lost for the nth time, he will lose on purpose to put a smile on Pete’s face

They will sleep together holding hands

Pete slowly grew taller than Ae and become such a fine Koon Chai. Ae doesn’t know or get why he felt a sudden shortness of breathe or that he is having a weird heart palpitation whenever Pete is near.

He knew Pete to be cute and pretty, much prettier than any girl he knew. Not even their prettiest girl in school can compete with Pete’s look. But he was amazed when Pete hit that stage of puberty. He looks so much delicate than before, milk skin that seems to bruise with a slight touch. Brownish hair that’s so soft. Long eyelashes that covers those sweet looking doe eyes. And what made him question himself more are those pink lips. Why does he feel the urge to just – well – just cover it with his own lips?

Some of their friends teases Ae that Pete is now much taller than him but Ae only grins and show them his fist with words: ‘Yeah he is tall. But I can still beat the crap out on all of you.’

Ae and Pete are still together but not the same as before where they are joined by the hips. Ae focuses more on his football club and Pete focuses more on his studies to help his mother.

It was their last year in high school and both decided to attend the same university, though Pete going to International College while Ae will go to Engineering (Civil Engineering Degree) as he is more familiar with STEM than any other.

Pete went to Ae’s classroom to ask him if they will return home together when he opens the door a girl was confessing to Ae.

‘I’m sorry!’ Pete shouted  and close the door with a bang. ‘Ai Pete!’ Ae shouted to the running Pete. Ae was not able to run after Pete as the girl grabs him and asked again, ‘Please go out with me!’

Ae did answer and the girl cries.

Ae runs and he was told by Par Jiew that Pete went to the hotel with his mother.

It took 2 weeks before Ae and Pete saw each other again and Ae was confused as to why Pete’s face is smiling yet his eyes is so sad.

He felt hurt and wanted to know why. He doesn’t like that Pete is keeping something from him.

Pete only shook his head and told him, ‘You’re imagining things Ae. I’m okay. I must be just tired cause I took internship with my Mom.’

‘Are you going to work over the weekends?’

‘Yes Ae. And also the whole summer. We both passed the entrance exam so now I’ll help Mae and learn more about the hotel.’

Ae nodded and looks at Pete. Pete is saying something that’s slowly breaking his heart. He wont be able to see Pete and spend time with him.

‘How about you Ae? How are you and your girlfriend?’

‘MY WHAT?!’

‘Eh. But Ai Pond and the others, even Ai Sun and Ai Dear are teasing you about her right? I heard that she keeps on following you and even manage to be the manager of the football club. She’s so dedicated to you na.’

‘Pete. She is not my girlfriend and will never be.’

‘Why Ae? She looks cute.’

Ae looks at Pete. ‘Do you really want me to have a girlfriend?’

Pete smiles and says, ‘Yes. So that maybe you wont be so grouchy like a beast.’

Ae looks at Pete and laughs and ruffle his hair. Ae then suddenly hugs Pete and put his chin on Pete’s head. ‘I miss you Pete. If you have time to visit me, visit me please. Its so lonely without you by my side.’

Pete wanted to caress the arms that holds him but restrain himself.

He just nodded and smiles sadly.

They are now in college and Ae joins the football club there. Pete on the other hand is bombarded with activities and events for the InterCollege.

He was surprised to see Tin there.

Tin and him are mutual friends through their parent’s social status. Tin told him that he came back from England and is now studying the same course as Pete.

Both are friends in a unconventional way, as Tin considers Pete as his only friend and he will often said to Pete, ‘You are so privileged to have me as you friend.’ In which Pete will only laugh.

Nobody knows this but Tin may be cold and super rude to others, but he has a kind heart. He just doesn’t trust anyone especially when they get to know his family name.

Tin was taught by his idiot elder brother about life early on. Not to trust easily and not to give your heart just to anyone.

Pete is happy that Tin is here now, though he have forgotten to introduce Tin to Ae.

Ae and him still eats breakfast together but something happen after their 2 months in college.

Ae got himself a girlfriend. Pond, Dear, Sun, Oat, Ping and Bow are all surprised with the news and all look at Pete who was smiling and cheering his special friend. ‘Congratulations! What’s her name again?’

‘Yihwa. She’s a nurse student.’ Ae said with a forced smile on his face.

The whole gang asked so many questions and teases Ae so much but it was Pond and Sun who back away a little and side by side went to Pete.

‘Pete… are you okay?’ Pond asked, sure he is nosy and an asshole to some, but he cares so much about Pete too. Pete is the most gentle creature he had ever met and he knew about Pete’s feelings.

Sun who was said to be a flirt and often jokes himself being the guy for Pete was worried. ‘Ai Pete, do you want me to do kick Ai Shorty? Just tell me?’

Pete shook his head with a smile while looking at Ae who was busy laughing and getting angry with questions from their other friends. ‘He is happy. That’s all that matters.’

Sun and Pond looks at Pete and both nodded with mutual understanding.

If Pete doesn’t want to tell Ae his feelings, then they will respect that. But should Pete ask for their help, they will give it 120% for they care and love this little Prince.

Because Ae has a girlfriend, the text messages he sent Pete every morning is being rejected:

Ae. Eat with your girlfriend. She won’t forgive you if you didn’t invite her.

I’m sorry Ae. I’m busy. (⋟﹏⋞)

I’m sorry Ae, I’m with P’Money, we have to attend an event for reference. ＿ﾉ乙(､ﾝ､)＿

Ae, I’m sorry. I’m with Tin this morning. We need to finish our reports. (T_T)

I’m sorry Ae about dinner. Tin and I are still at uni. We have a presentation tomorrow at 8am.  (つ﹏⊂)

Ae, I’m sorry I missed your call. I cannot go with you to dinner. I have to finish some essays with Tin. (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)

I’m so sorry Ae, please tell Yihwa sorry too. I know its her birthday, but I just cant go out. We have three proposal report due tomorrow. (ಥ﹏ಥ) Tin and I haven’t finish the second part. Sorry again na. I have given Pond my gift to Yihwa. Please check! I told Ai Pond not to drop it, that’s a perfume.

Ae. Please tell Yihwa that I cannot go with her. I’m so sorry again. I have to go with Tin. Our professor just tasked us to interview his dad! Can you believe? Of all people, we are to interview his dad! ⊂（゜Д゜⊂

Hello Ae. I’m so sorry. I know its your 100th and Pond told me about it. I gave Pond our gift to you guys. Enjoy!

Ae have been staring at his phone. He had been reading all the messages of him and Pete.

For the last 3-4 moths the only time he saw Pete was when he was passing by the Engineering Department to talk to a professor. He was about to go to him when the professor of their class enters and he have no choice but to go inside the room.

He was with the Tin guy he presumes. Tall, white, arrogant face.

What he understands on the last message was: “I gave Pond our gift to you guys.” >> OUR GIFT. WHO THE FUCK IS ‘OUR’?!

He read again the message and compose a new one:

AE: Hello Ai Koon Chai. Are you still busy? Yihwa and I are going out tomorrow and she told me to invite you.

Koon Chai: Then can I bring a someone?

AE: Who?

Koon Chai: Tin.

Ae reads it again and he didn’t notice how hard he was gripping his phone.

AE: I don’t know him Pete. I’m only inviting you.

Koon Chai: Oh. Then I have to decline Ae.

AE: What do you mean?! Are you saying you won’t come with us if that friend of yours isn’t with you?!

Koon Chai: Ae… please don’t get angry. I can sense your anger through your messages.

AE: Then don’t be unreasonable! I don’t know who the fuck is that guy. You keep on mentioning him to all your messages!

Koon Chai: I’m so sorry Ae. I wont’ bother you again. Please take care.

AE: AI PETE!

Ae didn’t receive any messages and he tried to call Pete only to be greeted by a busy line. He tried again and again and when 2 hours had passed, he knew Pete just blocked him.

Ae was so pissed and punches the wall. He will talk to Pete. He will not let this go. Just who the fuck is that guy as if he is someone more important than him?

Ae went to Pete’s apartment the following morning.

Ae confronted Pete on his apartment and Ae was shocked. How many months have they not seen each other? Pete looks so pale, but what stunned him was how beautiful Pete is and that he cant believe himself that he let those months passed by and he was not there to see this beauty for so many months.

‘Why did you block me?’ Ae asked in contained anger.

Pete didn’t answer and just shook his head. Ae was insisting until Pete gives in

‘Because Ae doesn’t like Tin.’

Ae was so angry with what he heard that he shouted ‘Why the hell should I like him?! Who the hell is he anyway?

‘Tin is Pete’s boyfriend Ae.’

‘What did you say?’

‘Tin is my boyfriend Ae. I am gay.’

Thanks @opald for the inspiration. hugs hugs hugs 

[crsinclair]

Put Your Hands Up

This is the first OFFICIAL meeting of Present Mic and the Villain who will eventually be known as Eraser, based off this AU idea that both @artemisflux​ and I created.  Definitely a Enemies to Somewhat Friends to Lovers trope.  Also, offically naming this AU What a Villain Deserves.

Takes place after USJ, in which Hizashi is healing and not taking it easy like Recovery Girl wants him to.  Also, Hizashi is hella attached to his homeroom class and will always refer to them as his children, his kids, his babies, ect. Shush, they’re his first homeroom class and he’s an excited father-not-father.

If you guys are interested in this, let me know!  I’m just gonna write up blurbs here and there and do some art and mostly just.  Rant about it. ASK ME THINGS I WANT TO SHAAAARE.

Hizashi just couldn't get it out of his head.

It'd been a month since the USJ “incident”.  As if calling it an incident would make it less of a clusterfuck.  His children had healed and moved passed what had happened – even little Midoriya, whom he discovered had wrecked his arms and legs yet again in an attempt to try and rescue All Might (such a problem child). The Sports Festival had been a rousing success in getting a more positive angle for UA (even if the way they had treated his precious angry Bakugou like a wild animal at the end really, really ticked him off).  The first internships had started for his homeroom class and they were all supposed to be out of the major action with real Pro Heroes watching their every move and helping them learn the job.

Heck, even his injuries were on the mend and he was scheduled to see a quirk healer to fix up the last of them – the worst being the damage done to his neck – by the end of the week.  Even if he was restricted from Hero work until that time, he was healing, and had been able to walk around on his own since the day after the Sports Festival.

Everything was getting better.

But for all that everything was getting better, Hizashi couldn't get him out of his head.

When Asui (sweet, adorable, croaky Asui) had frozen as that...that creepy dude with the hands had reached for her, Hizashi had feared the worst.  His directional speaker had been crushed to pieces by the Noumu, and even if he hadn't been worried about accidentally blowing out his children's eardrums (or worse) with his quirk, he wouldn't have been able to.  Not with the way the Noumu had crushed his throat between its fingers and was strangling him against the concrete.

And then the scruffy man had stepped in.

Tall, goggles covering his eyes, a scarf around his neck and wearing what looked to be an altered, sleeve-less version of army fatigues.  He'd just...stepped up behind the creepy hand dude and stopped him.  Told him, “No.  We're not hurting the kids.”

And the creepy hand dude had stopped.

Hizashi's vision at that point had faded to black, but that few seconds he'd seen of the scruffy man just wouldn't leave him.  Even when he'd been on bed-rest in the hospital, stuck laying in a bed because the doctors feared for the broken pieces of his upper spine severing his spinal cord, he'd replayed that small bit over and over and over in his head.

Who the hell was he?

Nedzu had talked to him once he was able to walk again.  Had pulled him to the side along with Midnight, Snipe, and All Might to go over the security footage from USJ.  The scruffy man had been standing next to the creepy hand dude like a second shadow for most of the fighting until creepy hand dude had threatened to kill Asui.  The reason why the small principal had gotten them together was to talk about the potential threat they faced in the future from this group of villains and how they would continue on from there.

And yet Hizashi was stuck on the fact that this villain had saved his kid.

Why would he do that?  Why, when so many of the villains there went out of their way to terrify and hurt his class, would this one villain stop the de facto leader of the group from hurting one more?

It just didn't make any sense.  Asui's scream of terror and the man's, “No.  We're not hurting the kids,” replaying in his head over and over.

Maybe he was overthinking it.  Hizashi huffed, leaning his head back to stare up at the night sky.  He winced and carefully righted himself, though, when the muscles in his neck protested the small movement and the still healing skin twinged at the stretch.  Jeez, he couldn't wait until he was given the okay to get healed the rest of the way. It was too much trouble to have to watch his movements all the time simply because everything hurt.

“I just need to stop thinking about it,” he muttered to himself, taking another turn on his mindless wandering throughout the city. “I've spent way too much time sitting still and that's caused me to think too hard on nothing at all.”

Yep, he just had to keep moving and stop thinking so much.  Hizashi took a deep breath (or, well, as deep a breath he could at the moment) and let it out.  Perfectly intending to let the matter rest for the time being.  He was on break for the moment, anyway.

And then he caught sight of the man in front of him.

“...Ah crap,” he whispered to himself.

The man was exactly as he remembered, only this time he was wearing a mask over the bottom half of his face as well.  Tall, hair pulled tight into a bun on the top of his head, that long scarf around his neck, the altered fatigues and scars crisscrossing over the skin showing on his arms.  He stood just ahead of him, arms crossed and seeming to be looking straight at him.

'Well,' Hizashi thought to himself as he readied a breath, 'a Hero doesn't really take breaks anyway.'

He opened his mouth, mentally preparing himself for his ears to be hurting, but the pain never came.  Neither did his voice.  Hizashi had exactly half a second to wonder what the heck was up with that before the man was suddenly in his space, crouched low and a fist barreling straight for his middle.

Hizashi only barely managed a step back to lessen the blow but god it still hurt.  The breath was knocked from his lungs and shit.  Shit this is why he didn't do close combat.  He sucked at it.  He sucked in air, mind working quickly when he could feel his voice again.  Huh, so this guy erased his Quirk...

“Hi, hello mister villain guy!” Hizashi chirped, skipping backwards and just dodging another fist to the face.  Knuckles still scraped past his cheek.  Fucking – “Nice touch with the quirk cancelling thing – is that you're quirk or something?  Why don't we just sit down and talk about it – “

However the hell the man was doing it, Hizashi felt his voice die in his throat again and another fist caught him across the chin.  His head snapped backwards, neck screaming murder at him and damnit he could feel his bandages getting wet.  He stumbled, hands flailing backwards to stop his fall, and as he tried to blink the stars from his vision what felt like a boot slammed into the side of his face.

He dropped like a stone.

In what felt like no time at all and yet also a lifetime Hizashi was bound in what had to be excess material from the man's scarf.  He blinked slowly as the man patted his pockets down until he found his phone, tugging it free and standing. The man pushed the goggles up to look down at the phone, dark, bloodshot eyes squinting at the small screen with a frown.

“In...Interesting quirk you have there,” Hizashi managed.  Everything hurt.  He tried wriggling his arms in the binding, but aside from noticing that whatever material was holding him was strong, nothing budged.  Damn. “Too bad we didn't see more of that at USJ, huh?”

The man scoffed and tugged his mask off his face, revealing the scruff that Hizashi remembered so clearly.  “Too bad we didn't hear less of yours,” he said, not even looking down at him.  He just leaned back against the wall of the alley he dragged him into and scrolled through his phone.

Hizashi wrinkled his nose in confusion.  What the hell was this man trying to do?  “What, so I should have just.  Stayed quiet and let a bunch of bloodthirsty villains attack my kids?”

Yeah, hell no.

The mention of his students finally got the man to look at him.  He frowned down at him, then flicked his eyes back to the small screen. “We just wanted All Might.  They should've stayed out of the way.”

At that Hizashi rolled his eyes.  “'Stayed out of the way.'  Yeah, of course.  Hard to do that when the villains attacked them first.” He scowled up at the man.  “All Might wasn't even there, man.”

The man spends another few moments scrolling through his phone before giving a frustrated huff.  He crouched down to Hizashi's level, tucking his phone back into his pocket – which, uh, weird, what sort of villain returns someone else's belongings?  As he was double checking the bindings (yep, still not budging), he asked, “Where was he?  It's not like the number one Hero to not be there.” He paused, expression darkening.  “Oh wait.  Actually, it is.”

The fuck was that supposed to mean?  Hizashi squinted at the man.  “He was back at the school.  Roster changed last minute.  It happens.”

The man clicked his tongue, glaring off to the side.  “Annoying. Figures, though.”  He finally turned his dark eyes back to Hizashi.

Hizashi kept his scowl up, doing his best to not let any hint of fear slip past.  Sure he fucking hurt all over and probably added at least another week onto his wait to be okayed by a quirk healer, but there was no way he was going to just roll over and let the man think he got the better of him.

...Even if he technically did.

“Now,” the man started, leaning in close, “what to do with the Hero...?”

There was a moment of silence, and then Hizashi felt shivers race down his spine as a slow, grin crawled its way across the villain's face. Whatever the man had in store definitely wasn't going to be a lot of fun.  Not with how creepy that grin was.

“I think I've got a perfect idea...”

The grin widening and dark eyes glowing red were the last things Hizashi saw before everything went black.

When he woke back up, groggy and cold and with a raging headache, he was tied to a pole in the middle of Harajuku, high up and with his hands tied above his head as if he were surrendering.  Several people below were taking pictures, pointing at the man everyone knew to be Present Mic, Hero and popular radio host of Put Your Hands Up! Radio.

Hizashi had gone out on a stroll to try and get the circling thoughts of the scruffy villain out of his head.

As the police and local heroes helped him down from where he'd been stuck, he couldn't help wondering just who the fuck this villain was.

[kathrynmaslow]

Love Lies 13/15

Summary: Ever since Emma was 13, she knew she had the ability to destroy people if she wanted to, and some days, she really wanted to. After being forced to go to Greenwood Academy following a traumatizing event in her childhood that brought to the surface her ability to manipulate fire, she never thought she would be free of the place. So for nearly 10 years, she lived a solitary existence with the exception of her best friends, but that was all about to change.

Killian Jones had just been sentenced to attend the university campus at Greenwood Academy after an accident at sea caused him to be dishonorably discharged from Her Majesty’s royal Navy and lose his hand. He doesn’t know what to think about these newfound powers and what they spell for the rest of his now not-so-normal life. But a chance encounter one day has the ability to change all of that.

A story about love and redemption between two people that shows, if you have the right person beside you, you can find a light in the darkness.

Rating: M

Content Warnings: Mentions of Violence/Death, Brief mention of Childhood Abuse/Sexual Assault, Mild Sexual Content. 

Chapter Notes: Okay y’all, the reunion that you all have been waiting for is finally here! But things aren’t always what they seem. Thanks to @daveyjacobsthepotterhead for helping beta this monstrosity and helping me write (good) angst for the first time these last couple of chapters. Also huge kudos to @princesse-swan for being an amazing artist. More art from her to come in the following chapters!

Read on FF

Catch up on Tumblr: One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve

Art by @princesse-swan here and here

Chapter 13

Emma burst through the doors of the planetarium, cursing soundly when she didn’t initially see Killian in the room.

This was the most likely place where he would have come to, she was sure of it. Killian had always said it was relaxing and peaceful to be back under the stars, but considering that it didn’t seem like he was here, she was at a bit of a loss as to where he could have gone.

Emma whirled around as the doors opened behind her.

“Emma. Is that you?” Killian asked, walking into the room.

Emma sighed in relief. “Killian, thank god you are okay.” She said, rushing up to him and pulling him into her arms.

Killian’s arms came around her in a crushing hug. “I was so worried about you Swan,” He said, his hand coming up to touch the top of her head. “No one had any idea what happened to you.”

“Riggans happened to me.” She whispered, shivering a bit remembering the cold of the ICE block. Killian gripped her tighter in response.

“That’s what we were all worried about,” He murmured, burying his face into her neck.

“We?” She asked. Her brief conversation with David didn’t give her any idea as to how long Killian had been locked up for either. “How long did they lock you up for?”

“I only got released this morning.” He said, pulling back from her a bit. He held his hand out between them, what she now realized was a suppression glove was different than when she had last seen him. “Apparently that’s how long it takes to outfit me with a new one of these.”

“Where did they put you?” She was concerned that they had locked him in some super max wing like they had done with her.

“I was locked in my dorm, where were you Emma?” He asked, searching her eyes like they held the answer.

“They put me on ICE,” She said.

“Does that mean what I think it means?” He asked. The look in her eyes must have been enough, because he cursed soundly, pulling her back into his arms. “That explains why you are still shivering love. I didn’t think you could get cold,” Killian chuckled a little bit, trying to lighten the mood.

Emma wasn’t in any kind of laughing mood. Far from it actually.

“You saved me.” She said, pulling back from him again.

He looked down at her in confusion. “What?”

“That fight with Gaston, you saved me. I wasn’t doing well. If it hadn’t been for you. I don’t know what would have happened.”

“It was really nothing Swan.” He said, shrugging his shoulders a bit uncomfortably.

“No, it wasn’t nothing. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes I did.” He said.

“Why?” It was all the questions that she had been scared to ask wrapped up in one. Why save me? Why use your powers like that? Why didn’t you just leave after I had been so horrible to you?

“Because I couldn’t just sit by and let that bastard hurt you. And I couldn’t just sit back and not do anything. I had to help you, however I could. I don’t really know how my powers work, but I knew the one thing that I could do to help so I had to try.” He explained.

“I don’t know what to say.” She said, getting lost in the way he was looking at her.

“You don’t need to say anything Love. Besides. I should be apologizing to you anyways.” Killian pressed a finger to her lips to silence whatever she was about to say. “Yes, I do. So just let me get this out. Okay?”

He waited until she nodded her head silently before removing his finger and taking a step back.

“Look. I didn’t mean what I said to you before Emma, back over break. I was scared, and frustrated. And I took that out on you when you were scared and frustrated too.” He sighed, moving his hand from her elbow where it had been resting to run it through his hair. She belatedly noticed he had gotten it trimmed since the last time they spent any real time together. Too much had happened too fast that day back in the commons for her to have really taken any notice of it anyway. “You don’t own me anything, especially because I have told you virtually nothing about myself. It was horribly rude and selfish of me to demand that you have to tell me about things that you can hardly think about, let alone voice. I’m truly sorry about that Love.”

Emma smiled softly at him, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She was unbelievably touched to say the least. He gave her a small smile in return.

She pressed up on her toes and leaned her face in towards his, hoping he would get the message and meet her halfway.

He did.

Every kiss with Killian felt like the first kiss to her. They were all the same and yet completely different at the same time. Some were flames, burning and rushing under her skin. Some were quiet, and soft, like a sleeping baby. Others, like this one, were tender and warm, like standing in the sun on the middle of a cool fall day.

Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping his mouth on hers as she dropped down from her toes and planted her feet back on solid ground. He wrapped his arms around her in turn, his hand coming to tangle in her hair while the left arm wrapped securely around her waist.

She pulled back before the kiss became any more intense. She still wanted to talk with him about what she had seen with his brother.

“I missed you, so much.” She said, staring at his sky blue eyes. She didn’t want to think about those long days down on the block, not knowing when, or if she would be released. When her next meal would come. What had happened to her friends.

It had been the hardest to think about Killian. Not knowing if she would ever get to speak with him and begin the process of repairing what had been broken those weeks ago.

He squeezed his arms around her and buried his face back into her hair. She tucked her nose into his neck in return, enjoying the safety of being in his arms.

“Besides,” Emma started, “I wanted to tell you that I understand.”

Killian pulled back from her abruptly, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. “Understand what?” He asked.

“I understand what it is like to come here under...Not the greatest circumstances.” She said, struggling to find the right words.

“Not the greatest circumstances, what are you talking about Emma.” He asked, even more confused than before.

“Well, after what your brother said…..”

“My Brother?!?” Killian said, sounding alarmed. “When have you ever talked with Liam?”

“Just a bit ago, I went over to find David…” She started, not understanding his reaction to what she was saying.

“How much of that conversation did you hear Emma?” He questioned, gripping the tops of her arms, this wild look coming into his eyes. She pulled back from him a bit, his reaction starting to concern her, for a number of reasons.

“I heard enough, but it was more of what Liam said to me after you left…” She trailed off as Killian pushed away from her and shoved his hand into his hair, groaning in frustration.

“So you know.” He said, looking back at her after a few heart stopping minutes.

“I don’t know everything, but he told me enough to-”

“To what Emma! You know enough about me now to know that I am not the sort of man that you want to be with anymore? Is that it?” He asked, growing more agitated as he lobbed question after question at her.

“What? NO! Killian, I’m not explaining this well. Let me explain.” She pleaded, moving to grab his hand.

He pulled away from her, putting both arms up next to his head in frustration and walking around the room.

When they had both arrived, the room had been dark. Emma’s eyes had adjusted some to make out where he was and the expression on his face when he was close, but she marveled at the way he avoided running into any of the mechanics and other objects in the room.

She supposed for someone whose powers were darkness, that granted him a bit of an advantage.

“Killian-” She started again, trying to salvage what was happening in front of her eyes.

“What do you want me to say Emma? That I’m okay with everything happening to me? Because I am not.”

“I’m not saying-”

“I have never been farther from okay than I am right now. Not everything around here is like those books Emma.” He said, whirling around to look at her.

“What books?” She asked.

“All that Shel Silverstein crap. The world isn’t all butterflies and rainbows.” Killian said it with such viciousness, he might as well have slapped her.

She reared back as if he had, feeling a sharp stabbing pain flare in the middle of her chest.

“Oh don’t look at me like that Emma.” He said, exasperated. “You know what I mean.”

She didn’t. Yeah, life hadn’t been all butterflies and rainbows for her, far from it actually, but she didn’t let that cloud her view point.

Most of the time anyway. She knew she was guilty of letting her past experiences change how she would have reacted to something or how she would have approached a situation, but that didn’t make a difference in how she saw other people.

David had been helping her with that since they had met. Killian helping her more recently, more that he seemed to have realized.

“Yeah, I get it. But that doesn’t mean you have to talk down to me Killian.” She said.

“I’m not talking down to you Emma. I am trying to get you to see the world the way that I have experienced it. I haven’t had it easy Emma.” He said, still yelling at her.

“Well I wouldn’t know anything about that, now would I! Since you don’t tell me anything.” She hurled a point from their last argument back at him.

“No, you just go to my Bloody Brother to learn all of my darkest secrets!”

“Like you don’t go and get all of your information about me from David behind my fucking back.” She yelled back, feeling her flames; which had winked out earlier, come roaring back to life.

“Now don’t you go accusing me of going behind your back Emma.”

“Why shouldn’t I, you just threw the same accusation at me!”

“Because how in the bloody fuck would my brother know that I was here? I haven’t had any form of communication with him since I was deployed on my last mission.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know that? I was on lock down for the last week and a half, or have you forgotten about that” She said, getting angrier with him by the minute. She couldn’t remember a time she had been so angry.

“By your own fault.” He said, stabbing a finger at her.

Emma could have sworn smoke was coming out of her ears, she was so angry. Her mouth tasted like ash.

Smoke must have been coming out of her ears, because the sprinklers in the room began going off, drenching both her and Killian in a matter of seconds.

She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, screaming her frustration.

How had everything gone so wrong?

Dr. Hopper burst through the door not even a minute later.

“Is everything okay up here?” He asked, catching sight of the two of them as he turned the lights on.

“Just fine Doctor. That was all my fault. Sorry for triggering the sprinklers.” She said over the rush of the water.

Dr. Hopper moved to a panel on the wall and flipped two of the switches, turning off the torrent of water.

“Anything you two want to say about this?” He asked, crossing his arms, looking at Killian more than her.

“No.” She said, both pairs of eyes whipping across the room to look at her. “I don’t have anything more to say. It’s pretty clear what just happened. So I am just going to leave if that’s alright.”

She wrapped her arms around herself as she turned to leave the room. Feeling hurt and lost at what just happened.

She made it out of the building before Killian caught up with her. She heard his shoes squelching along the sidewalk before she saw him.

With the full intent of ignoring him, she pressed on faster, trying to make it back to her dorm.

“Swan.” He shouted, his watery footsteps getting louder before she felt his hand latch onto her upper arm.

She yanked her arm free before turning on him. “What do you want Killian? Don’t you think you have said enough already?”

Killian looked down at her, his hair dripping down into his eyes, clothes plastered onto his body. He looked downright miserable. Emma had no sympathy for him.

None at all.

After another agonizing minute of waiting for him to do something other than stare down at her, she had had enough.

“If that’s all Killian, I am going to go back to my room now.” She said, not bothering to hide the hurt and anger in her voice. “Don’t follow me. I don’t think I want to talk to you for a while.”

Emma turned her back and made her way across campus. Ignoring the curious looks that the other students were throwing her sopping wet appearance, she made her way into her building and climbed the stairs up to her room.

David was waiting for her when she got to her door, a bottle of rum in his hand.

Tears welled up in her eyes without her permission. “I really don’t want to talk about it.” She said, wiping a wet sleeve under her nose.

“I wasn’t planning on talking about anything.” He said, raising the bottle. “I thought you could use a drink.”

He didn’t say anything further as she opened the door to her room. She held the door open and gestured for him to join her.

After changing into a dry set of clothes, she sank down onto the floor next to David, skipping the offered glass and taking a swig right from the bottle. It burned it’s way down her throat, offering some relief from her feelings.

“Today sucked.” Was all she said, a few silent tears falling down her cheeks.

David just nodded and took the bottle from her, taking a swig of it himself.

Emma leaned her head against his shoulder and finally allowed herself to cry.

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

Let’s Play....!

Summary: Roman is tiny, and he wants Virgil to be his playmate. Virgil thinks he knows what’s to come, but Tiny!Roman has a different idea.

Word Count: 1,974

Characters/Pairings: Virgil and Tiny!Roman (platonic Prinxiety); little bit of Patton and very brief Logan

Genre: Fluff and hurt/comfort (kids are a wild ride, lemme tell you what)

Warnings: Yelling, crying, obnoxious breaking of the 4th wall, small mention of hitting (playful, really) (Let me know if I missed any!) 

Tags: (IDK who like Tiny!Sides stuff, so if you don’t, just ignore this lol)  @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch  @ssides @pantasticpanini @anxious-but-whatever

Author’s Note: Shoutout to @tinysidestrashcaptain for writing and reblogging amazing Tiny!Sides stuff that inspired me to write this. Also shoutout to @onthevirge for encouraging me to write this after I rambled about loving Roman way too much. Also, I don’t really like to write in “toddler speak” (just a personal preference), so when you read Roman’s lines, just read them in a high-pitched little kid voice. ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy!

“Viiiiirrrrrgiiiiiilllll,” a high-pitched voice called throughout the MindScape, causing the Anxious Side’s heart rate to pick up. Well, he should’ve figured it’d only be a matter of time. It seemed that Roman had woken up from his nap, and he was ready to play.

Obviously, Roman wasn’t exactly his normal self at this point. The Prince had come back from one of his DreamScape escapades-well, run back screaming and crying-as a 3-year-old because apparently the Dragon Witch couldn’t actually kill the one who created her. Logically speaking, she’d die, too. So, she’d gifted them a younger Roman, and so far Virgil wasn’t a fan. Normal Princey was loud and boisterous enough; a toddler Roman was no different, from what he could tell, just not able to project as loudly but at a higher tone that grated at his nerves.

Normally, Logan or Patton was in charge of Tiny Roman, but Thomas needed them today. Well, he’d really needed all of them, but seeing as Roman was a little out of commission, someone had to stay in the MindScape with the kid. Morality and Logic were the most reasonably qualified for the task at hand, so, after a little bribery and compromise, the others convinced Virgil to be Roman’s caretaker for the day. 

“Viiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrgiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllll!!!!”

Running his hands through his hair, Virgil dragged himself out of bed and vanished from his room, appearing in Roman’s realm. However, upon initial and further inspection, he realized the Creative Side’s room was empty. Feeling his heart rate pick up and his stomach drop, he quickly left the room and materialized into the MindScape’s Common Room.

In their version of Thomas’s sitting room, Virgil sighed in relief when found 3-year-old Roman sitting on the floor, surrounded by art supplies. Normal-sized Roman could conjure up just about anything he wanted to make his daydreams come true, but regressed Roman wasn’t as knowledgeable in that department. So, the other three Sides had banded together to get the tyke some art supplies to satisfy his creative urges. 

Virgil took stock of the room, and what a surprise, Roman wanted to play kingdom-centric make-believe. A bag of plastic jewels was ripped open, it’s contents splayed all over the carpet; shiny silver and gold construction paper was haphazardly stacked on the carpet right next to the little one. A few bed sheets (likely snagged from Logan’s meticulously organized linen closet) were half folded on the floor next to the coffee table, and Roman’s sword (the one he used when he was normal-sized) was carefully laid on top of the table next to a finished golden paper crown, impressively decorated with the plastic precious stones. 

The tot-sized Roman, adorned in the little cape Patton had made him, was hunched over on the carpet, concentrating hard on something that Virgil couldn’t see. Not realizing the other Side was behind him, Roman took a deep breath and yelled at the top of his little lungs: “VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRR-” 

“WHAT, Roman?” Virgil snapped. “I heard you, and what are you doing up from your nap? You’re supposed to wait until I come get you!” 

 The Tiny Prince jumped and turned in an instant; his lower lip trembled and his eyes were dangerously wet as he chewed on his lower lip and refused to make eye contact with the older Side. Sighing, the Anxious Side lowered to his knees and looked the other in the eyes.

“Look, I’m sorry I was mean to you, Ro. I’m just....sleepy.” And definitely haven’t been verging on an anxiety attack for the last hour, and that was before I thought I’d lost you, little escape artist. He thought grudgingly to himself.

“It’s okaaay...” Roman rubbed his eyes; he put his hands behind his back and swayed back and forth, obviously working up the courage to ask Virgil for something he knew the older Side wouldn’t like. “Hey, Viiiirge...”

“Yeah, Roman?” Virgil leaned against the front of the couch, bracing himself for whatever ridiculousness the little one would request. 

“Will you play with meee?”

“Well, since I left my room, I might as well.” He forced up a smile for good measure when Roman didn’t look impressed, just a bit charmed by the Prince’s antics (though he’d never admit it, of course). “Yeah, sure, what’d you have in mind?”

“Princes!” Roman eagerly turned back to whatever he was working on, missing the flash of annoyance on the other’s face.

Virgil sighed. “What will I be? A fiery, scary dragon?” Virgil mimicked blowing out fire.

“No!”

“A big, mean, hairy troll?” Virgil put his arms up, miming a menacing beast.

“NO! I just told you!” A now red-cheeked Roman pouted, turning back to Virgil with his secret project behind his back. “A prince! I’m Prince Roman, and you’re Prince Virgil!”

Virgil had nothing to say to that right away. It was the last request he would have expected of Roman, quite frankly, and he wasn’t sure if he trusted it. 

“R-Really?” Virgil eyed the other carefully. “Will I be an evil prince? Will we get into a big fight, and-”

“No!” Roman yelled, his eyes spilling over with tears this time. “You’re Prince Virgil! You’re big and strong and scary to the bad guys and you’ll take care of me and the castle and all the people like Thomas!!!” Roman collapsed onto the floor, melting into soft, hiccuping sobs; Virgil felt his heart clench as the little prince curled into a ball on the carpet.  

Crap crap crap crap crap you gotta fix this NOW, you idiot!

“Aw, Roman, I’m sorry.” Virgil mumbled, tentatively scooting himself closer to the Tiny Side. Roman side-eyed Virgil, equally distrustful of the other now. “Come on, Ro, please forgive me?” The Anxious Side made his voice as sickly sweet as possible, trying to ignore the fact that his tantrum obviously meant Roman had skipped most, if not all, of his midday nap. Getting onto him now would only make things worse, so Virgil opened his arms, remembering that Patton often bribed Tiny Roman with cuddles to get him to behave. 

Still whimpering, Roman uncurled himself and pushed up into a sitting position, staring at Virgil for a full five seconds before crawling into his lap; the emotional Side stuck his thumb in his mouth and laid against the other’s chest. 

“I guess that means you forgive me, huh?” Virgil murmured, chuckling a bit when Roman nodded his head; he rubbed his little charge’s back until his whimpers died down completely. “You okay now, buddy?” 

“Y-yeah.” Little Roman whispered.

“You still wanna play princes?” Virgil asked hesitantly. “I promise I’ll play by your rules this time, no questions asked. I’ll take care of you and the castle and all of our people...” He trailed off into a whisper, speaking more to himself than Roman. “Just like I do for Thomas.” 

“Yeah.” Roman nodded, but made no move to get out of Virgil’s lap. 

“Are you sure?” Virgil looked down, noting the droop of Roman’s eyes and head. Crap. If he slept now, he’d be up all night. “Roman, if you don’t get up, I’m gonna-” Virgil cut himself off and attacked Roman’s sides with his fingers, tickling the toddler until he shrieked with laughter.  

Through his own laughter, Virgil prompted, “So, I guess we gotta make me a crown, huh? Looks like you already got yours done; it looks really good.”

At this, Roman untangled himself and crawled over to where he’d been working just a few minutes earlier. Walking back on his knees, Roman came up in front of Virgil and grinned just before pulling a silver paper crown with black and purple jewels from behind his back. “This one’s your crown. I made you it. I put these ones on it,” he pointed at the gems.  

“Yeah.” Virgil smiled, a genuine smile this time. “It looks really good, Ro; I like it!”

“Let me put it!” Roman requested, the normal bounce returning to his voice; he gestured for Virgil to bend forward. The other complied, and the Tiny Prince giggled as he carefully placed his creation on his playmate’s head. “There! It’s peeeerfect!” The little one gave Virgil a big thumbs up, scampering over to the sheets piled on the floor, and Virgil noticed one of his black bedsheets folded beneath one of Logan’s dark blue ones.

“Here’s your cape!” Roman threw the sheet toward Virgil, giggling manically when the covering unfolded in the air and got caught on Virgil’s head. the Anxious Side couldn’t help but laugh at the little one’s glee. He pulled the blanket off his head and swung it around his back, tying a solid knot around his throat as Roman placed his own crown on his head. The small Side bent under the coffee table and brought out a little cardboard dagger, and he pointed to his own sword on the coffee table.

“That’s yours, Virge.” There was a twinge of sadness in the other’s words. “I’m too small to use it right now.” 

“It’s okay, Ro.” Virgil reassured him as he rose and crossed to receive the Prince’s most precious item. “I’ll take good care of it; I promise.”   

"Ok.” Roman still looked a bit sad, so Virgil hoisted him up into his arms, carefully holding Roman and the sword. 

“We can hold it together, and we’ll defeat whatever monsters try to take over our kingdom together!”

“Yay!!” Roman squealed, hugging Virgil’s neck. “You’re the best prince, EVER, Virgil!” 

“So are you, Roman. Now, let’s go!” Virgil cried, transporting them into Roman’s room so the Tiny Side could show him to his DreamScape.

-- 

After hours of fighting baby dragons and half-sized trolls, Virgil carried a yawning Roman back to the Commons and laid him on the couch. As he set to work cleaning up their crafting mess from before, Roman cried out, “No, I wanna help!” and inched his way off the sofa.The Little Prince and the Anxious Side worked well together, Roman picking up the little pieces and Virgil handling the big stuff. 

Just as they finished cleaning up, Patton and Logan strolled into the Commons, and Roman’s face lit up brighter than Virgil had seen all day.

“Daddy Pat Pat! Mama Lolo!” Roman screeched gleefully, running to the paternal and logical Sides. Logan shot Virgil a dirty look at the nickname as Patton hauled the squirming toddler into his arms and planted a loving kiss on the little one’s cheek; Virgil wiggled his eyebrows in return. 

“What’d you get up to today, kiddo? Did you play with Virgil?” Patton cooed, setting the toddler so he faced him in his arms.

“Yeah! We played Princes! And Virgil was the big good prince and I was the little good prince and we stopped the dragons and trolls from getting in our castle! Virgil’s the best big brother eeeever!” Roman declared with a yawn, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Sounds like a great time, Little Guy.” Patton grinned at the Anxious Side, mouthing “Thank You” as Roman laid his head against Patton’s shoulder. Rubbing his charge’s back, the father figure whispered, “And now it’s bed time.” He turned to start Roman’s nighttime routine, pulling up when the little one tugged on his sleeve. 

“Can Virgil read me my story?” He mumbled into Patton’s neck, his eyes already half closed.

“I can do that, bud.” Virgil replied, coming up beside Patton and patting Roman’s back. Tiny Roman sighed contentedly, and the bigger Sides transported them into Roman’s room.

It wouldn’t take long at all for the tuckered out little Side to nod off, but Virgil and Patton would stay in the Creative Side’s room long after he’d fallen asleep, whispering back and forth about the adventures of the day.

And Virgil had to swat Patton on multiple occasions to keep him from squealing and waking up Roman.

More Tiny!Sides: 3 Tiny!Sides and a Virgil

All of my Sanders Sides fanfics

[mrsabbington-blog]

Farewell, my dear Watson: Amanda Abbington on Sherlock and her break-up with Martin Freeman

The actress’s career was going from strength to strength when her relationship with her co-star imploded. She tells Bryan Appleyard how she contained the fallout

Amanda Abbington — who, as Mary Morstan, took a bullet for Sherlock Holmes — has a new man whom she won’t name. “He’s lovely, we’re keeping it very much on the low down. We don’t want lots of people to know. We’ve been together for about a year now. He’s an actor and he’s delightful. He’s very mindful of my situation and I’m very mindful of his.”

She was with Holmes’s sidekick, Dr Watson — aka Martin Freeman — for 16 years. They have two children, Grace and Joe. They broke up in 2016 while they were both starring in Sherlock.

“We still get on really well, we still really both admire each other as actors … he’s a great guy, but we just couldn’t live with each other any more.”

Given that Sherlock was an international hit, and that Freeman achieved global superstardom as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, this was a high-profile break-up. She was papped, looking supposedly “disconsolate” while out shopping.

Trying to keep the new man a mystery is understandable. But it won’t be easy. Tabloids have recently been reporting that she and Northern Irish actor Jonjo O’Neill are an item. She is neither confirming nor denying this. The paps would have been after her anyway, because she is the star of Safe, a new Netflix series by the crime author Harlan Coben. The first strange thing about this show is her co-star Michael C Hall, who played the Miami serial killer Dexter and the gay undertaker David Fisher in Six Feet Under. Here, he is a dodgy English husband in a wealthy suburban enclave (in fact Manchester, but you’re not supposed to know that). The strange thing is his English accent, which is near perfect.

“He was really worried about that. English accents are hard for Americans to do. I don’t think he had a voice coach.”

Her voice has a slight southeastern working-class flavour. She talks quickly, eagerly and laughs a lot and, for some reason, she seems much prettier in the flesh than on TV. I am sure, however, there is something wrong with her tastebuds. We’re both having tuna salad at a studio in north London. The fish is perfectly inedible, but she eats it all.

To get back to Hall — he will always be Dexter to me, so I’m pretty sure he’s guilty of something other than the affair he’s having with Sophie, the detective sergeant played by Abbington, which is revealed in the first episode. Also revealed is the fact that Sophie’s ex-husband is living in a caravan in her front garden.

This is the second time she’s played a detective sergeant. The first was Jo Moffatt in the series Cuffs in 2015. The BBC cancelled that after one series. She was also Detective Chief Inspector Louise Munroe in Case Histories, another BBC series. Female police officers, we agree, have a long and distinguished screen history. “Prime Suspect,” I suggest. “Helen Mirren!”

“The Gentle Touch!” she replies. “Cagney and Lacey! Angie Dickinson! I loved Police Woman. I wanted to be Angie Dickinson when I was growing up.”

There’s a good reason she fantasised about being a strong woman with a gun. For three years at primary school she was badly bullied — her lunches were stolen and she was called ugly, stupid and smelly. Nobody would play with her.

“There was a group of girls who made my life miserable. I am now very, very aware of it when it happens anywhere. If it happens to my kids or on the street or on the internet I’ll wade in.”

She’s certainly an active and sweary anti-bullying and anti-general-nastiness campaigner on Twitter — she is @CHIMPSINSOCKS.

“I’ve never understood the c**** who abuse and hurt animals,” was her latest tweet as I was writing this. “Wonderful. Just wonderful. Let’s make older women feel even more f****** invisible and unattractive,” she tweeted about a story saying men preferred younger women.

She was brought up in Hertfordshire, her father was a taxi driver and her mother was tough: she finally found out about the bullies and went round to the house of one of them. “If your child does anything like that to my daughter again,” she said, “I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Her mother’s fierceness and her grandmother’s advice seem to have prepared her for the perils of show business. When I ask her the inevitable Harvey Weinstein question, she says she’s never had a problem. “I always go on a film set as a mate of everybody. I set my stall out. I’m just going to be like the funny mate who hangs out with the sparks and the prop boys, and I make sure I am not someone you can take the piss out of or take advantage of. I learnt that from my nana — be strong, make them laugh and don’t take shit from anybody.”

Anyway, there she is in Hertfordshire worshipping Angie Dickinson and wanting to be on stage. Somehow this leads her into dancing. She studied dance from the age of five. Eventually she got auditions for Cats and Starlight Express, but she knew she wasn’t good enough. In any case, the decision was made for her when, aged 18, she did the splits and ripped the muscles in her groin.

“That ended my dancing career, but I would never have been a good dancer. Then a drama teacher told me that he thought my talent lay in acting and he was absolutely right. I’d always performed, always made up stories and done funny voices. I went to a tiny drama school in Hitchin and I felt like I’d come home.”

She picked up small parts — The Bill, Wycliffe, Casualty and so on. But there was no real breakthrough. Well, there was one: the Maltesers TV ads she made with Katherine Parkinson. Unlike almost every TV ad ever made anywhere, they are still worth watching.

At one point she went 18 months without any work, changing her agent half a dozen times in desperation. The first stirrings of a change in her fortunes came with ITV’s Mr Selfridge — she was Josie Mardle — which ran for four series between 2013 and 2016.

“My character was an amalgamation of quite a few women who worked within the top echelons of Selfridges. There was so much going on in those years — the suffragettes, the Titanic. It was a dream job.”

It was a success, but not huge and a bit middle-aged — it was not for geeks, millennials or snowflakes, so it could not really go, as we must say, viral. All that changed when the actor and screenwriter Mark Gatiss invited her and Freeman to sit in on a discussion on the third series of Sherlock. They wanted to bring in a new character from the books, Mary Morstan, who first appears in The Sign of Four. Abbington had a couple of ideas. “I said Nicola Walker, she would be amazing in it. Or Olivia Colman.”

It was a set-up, they were going to offer it to her all along. She burst into tears. Sherlock was the big TV show of the moment.

“People started to say hello to me in the street when Sherlock started. Mr Selfridge wasn’t iconic. Sherlock hit the ground running and everyone went mad about it.”

She did seven episodes in two series, then she saved the life of Holmes and sacrificed her own by taking the bullet; it’s an invented incident, Mary dies in the books, but the cause is unknown. I ask her why a mouthy, Estuary-accented working-class girl like her would take a bullet for a toff — Holmes being played by the old Harrovian Benedict Cumberbatch.

“I know! Why would she do that? I wouldn’t, I’d run the other way.”

Did being killed off upset her?

“No, it made sense. And, anyway, you never really leave Sherlock, there are always flashbacks. So if they ever do another one I’m hoping they’ll have me back.”

The strange thing about her role in Sherlock was not simply that it made her famous. Out there on the easily offended, lost-its-grip-on-reality internet it made her notorious as the scheming woman who came between the previously happy and — in the imaginations of some fans — gay relationship between Holmes and Watson.

“I made the mistake of talking about the fan art very early on. They used to do some beautiful work about Watson and Sherlock being together as a couple, and I made an off-the-cuff remark that I wasn’t entirely happy with this because my kids might see it. The fallout was terrible and I felt really bad. I wasn’t being disparaging about their work. It got out of hand and I managed to make a lot of enemies. I had to do a lot of damage limitation. It’s because they’re fiercely protective of the show and that’s brilliant! But it means you have to treat it with a lot of respect.”

Meanwhile, Freeman had to be away for years in New Zealand shooting The Hobbit. While away she had the children to look after and had a cancer scare — a lump in her breast that turned out to be harmless. She also landed herself in trouble with the taxman. She was declared bankrupt because of an unpaid £120,000 tax bill. “I didn’t pay enough over a period of years and it accumulated, but for the record I paid it all back with a huge amount of interest,” she says. “Because I’m an idiot and I didn’t put enough away. It was my biggest regret and now I make sure everything is in place where it can never happen again.”

On top of that, their relationship was in trouble and, in the midst of the Sherlock episodes that put them on screen together, they broke up. They kept it as quiet as they could. “When we broke up nobody knew, we didn’t tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff. It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock.

“We were not children, we weren’t going to start throwing crap at each other. We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other. That’s far more important than being angry and being sad.”

Safe could have her up there again. The first episode I saw looked very promising and Coben does seem to be associated with hits. We’ll see.

Abbington, meanwhile, is back in her home village of Little Heath, Hertfordshire, with her parents living down the road. She’s an only child, they’re close. She loved being an only child because it made it easier to get on with adults and she never had to put up with rows like those between her children.

“Please, Mummy, can I get an agent,” says Grace, who is nine. She wants to be an actor. Abbington thinks she has the talent and presence to succeed. But she’s cautious. Parts like Mary Morstan and Josie Mardle don’t grow on trees.

Safe launches on Netflix on May 10