#anyway not entirely sure yet.. its like im fitting the clothes before actually deciding to buy them lol

[girlsgoneplague]

Cramps

Spock x reader

Warnings: period talk (not graphic) cursing, depression

Promt: pain/comfort, you have the day off however your period has kept you in bed all day so your boyfriend Spock comes to check on you

Part 1 of 2 or 3, I plan on in the second part it gets worse

Waking up that morning you knew something was wrong whenever you rolled over, the cool wetness of your ass made it obvious your pad just couldn't take it last night. After groaning into your pillow for a solid minute you decide to get up and get cleaned up. When you get in the bathroom its obvious the pad never stood a chance, so you take off all your clothes and put them in the laundry hamper

So much for having a relaxing off day...

Before taking a shower you also removed all of your bedding, as well the pillow case since it won't match your other bedsheets. The pale blue of your former bedsheets start to irritate you and instead of putting them in the hamper you decide to throw the fitted sheet away. A ringing on your PADD goes off so you make your way to your bedside table and pick it up to see Spock is calling.

"Hey babe, I was just about to hop into the shower" you keep the screen aimed at your face in case he's with someone else.

"Hello, I trust you slept well?"

You sigh, "not really, I ruined my light blue bedsheets and I didn't even fall asleep until pretty late last night"

He tilts his head slightly, "I see, well the duration of my shift will end in a few hours, I will come to check on you."

You smile as you nod, "I'd love that, bring me something to eat too will you?"

"I shall, please continue your morning, I will see you soon"

"See you soon Spock" you end the call and make your way to the shower. Your cramps are starting to act up and a nice hot shower will ~hopefully~ help it.

After 30 minutes you've given up on the prospect of easing your pain. They haven't gotten worse but since its been so long its started to irritate you.

I swear they've just been getting worse these past few months....maybe I need to see McCoy.

After thinking it over you decide its not serious enough for that, if it gets worse then you'll have a good enough excuse to waste an entire day in sick bay. The worst part about it so far was the damper it put on your mood. Its only been about an hour since you've woken up but crawling back into bed is the only appealing thing to you right now. You look at the clock and see it's only 11:03.

You haven't changed your bedsheets yet but decide to lay on it bare anyway, the only thing touching your skin is the robe you were gifted last Christmas. It's dark blue and goes all the way down to your shins so it acts like your blanket for now.

After a few minutes you decide to try and watch something before you get too caught up in your own head. After picking an old cartoon movie you've never seen called Treasure Planet, you decide during the opening scenes you'll actually eat something.

I'm sure spock won't be back for another couple hours I think he mentioned around 4pm the last time we talked-

Suddenly your PADD starts to light up again, wondering if it was the man himself you leaned over to find it was actually Uhura.

"Hey whats up?" You ask somewhat confused

"You forgot about lunch didnt you?" She said with a small smirk

"Ohhhhhh shit im so sorry! I forgot this was the only day this week we both had free, my period came yesterday and its been kicking my ass"

She raises her eyebrows, "Oh my, that sounds like you've been busy dealing with the worst time of the month I understand. Its kind of weird that you're having issues though, you don't usually have cramps that bad right?"

"Right!! I have no idea why they're so bad this time around, I haven't even gotten around to changing my bedsheets-of which I RUINED last night" you shake your head and move the screen to show you laying down on your bare bed

"Yikes, well to be honest I actually called because I'm already in the mess hall but Sulu wants to join me for lunch, would you be offended if I visited you tomorrow after my shift?"

"Not at all, im not really in the mood to socialize....or get dressed haha. I only really want to see Spock so we can cuddle"

She rolls her eyes, "yeah yeah I'm sure your hot boyfriend will help melt the pain away. But if you need anything at all before he shows up then call me"

"Sure thing, you have fun with Sulu and tell him I said hi" I waved bye as she said she would and then hung up.

I put the device back down and roll over on my back, the cramps are getting bad enough I decide to take some Tylenol and grab my medicine bag to fill up with hot water.

I'm so glad I bought this damn thing, take that you stupid uterus

After gettin settled on the bed you realize you didnt actually grab something to eat, but maybe that's a good thing because your stomach also starts to act up.

It be your own body, your own treacherous body

At least the movie still has an hour left before you paused it, so you hit resume and make a wall of pillows on your bed to protect your back from the hard headboard.

After about 30 minutes you decide to send Spock a message asking how long he will be on duty. After a few minutes he responds

Unfortunately I have to stay slightly longer than planned, so far we belive the problem will be taken care of by 5 at the latest. My apologies

You frown but don't want to make a big deal about it, especially since its not his fault so you respond quickly

Thats fine! Just don't forget to bring me some dinner, I want pizza, you know how I like it. I hope the ship isn't giving you too many issues i know we had a rough day yesterday

Rough is an understatement, however it comes with the job and you both understand most things are out of your control when it comes to repairs and maintenance.

Indeed. I shall update you at 4 about my arrival.

You smile at the screen and think about how happy you'll be when he gets here

In the meantime I can ask Uhura for some chicken noodle soup. Thank you:)

You look up and realize you didn't pause the movie but luckily there's not been anything super crazy that happened. Its actually grabbed your attention quite well. However you do pause it to message Uhura because you're not sure if you can call her.

You free? I've got a craving for some chicken noodles or maybe even some chicken and dumplings, either way something warm with chicken

As you wait for a reply you get up to change the water in your medicine bag again, after you get up however you realize you have to use the bathroom.....immediately.

When you get in there you cuss loudly

How the fuck did my pad manage to slip off, I swear today is not my day

After you finish up, you change your underwear again and rub your sore breasts.

This is possibly the worst off day I've ever had, including when we were all turned into those rocks or cubes or whatever they were*

Looking at the clock you quickly realize its only a little after 12. And since Uhura hasn't responded its starting to look a lot like you'll be alone for quite some time.

The movie ended after some time, it was really good but you frequently clenched your whole body due to the waves of cramps. And thankfully Uhura had let you know she would bring you food around 1. So you searched around for another movie to keep your mind off of things and settled on Asteroid City. After a few minutes you hear a knock so you get pause it to open the door.

After it slides open you smile at the sight of your friend with some much needed soup, "so whatd you bring me?"

She hands you the tray and follows you into the room, "just some chicken and dumplings, I remember last time you had noodles so I thought I'd take the liberty of switching things up for you"

"I love it when you make our relationship spicy" you chuckle and sit down on your bed gesturing her to join you.

She looks at your screen, "oh you'll like this one, but after this you should watch that horror movie that came out in the same year"

In between spoonfuls you ask her to send you the title in case you forget.

You and her chat for some time until she gets up to stretch, "well I think I'll leave you to it, I have the holo deck reserved for 3 and I'd hate to be late. See you later"

"Sure thing, see you!" You wave to her as she leaves and start your movie again.

2 hours later you decided this Wes Anderson was definitely worth checking out. Then you look at your PADD to see the title Uhura sent you and also notice Spock has sent you a message as well

Excellent news, I shall be done in less than an hour. Is there anything else you need me to bring?

Yes please! I need new bedsheets I can't find any clean ones. I like yours so maybe you could bring those?

Clicking on Talk To Me, you lean back again and wait for him to respond.

Roughly 20 minutes later you hear a knock on your door, so you pause the movie and practically run to see if its Spock

Once the door slides open you grin at the sight of him with a pair of sheets underneath a tray with an entire pizza.

"I missed you so much, here let me take the tray"

He lets you grab the tray while he starts to unfold the sheets, "I have missed you as well T'hy'la, I trust you were not disappointed with my tardiness"

You set the food down at the small table you usually eat dinner at, that is when you're not suffering, and turn to face him. "Its not your fault T'hy'la, besides im sure you can make it up to me"

The ghost of a smile is on his face as he walks over to you to hold your hand and lean his forhead against yours, "I will try"

You give him a kiss and tell him to start eating so you can finish your movie.

As you eat your pizza, and he eats his soup you discuss his day as well as how awful you've been feeling, "I mean I seriously have no idea why its been so bad this time around" you notice a frown on his face and raise an eyebrow

"If you are truly having issues why did you not see McCoy?" Concern all over his face makes you feel like you've said the wrong thing.

"Its just that I didn't think it mattered that much" you look away from him and at the floor, "I just didn't want to spend the day in sick bay or worse taking some disgusting medicine that makes me lose my appetite"

He considers this for a moment and reaches across the table to hold his two fingers out to you for a Vulcan kiss. "While I do not understand the human response of hating the doctors i understand you would have gone if you felt that the pain was too much, but please mention it the next time you have a check up"

You smile softly and nod your head, "deal, so long as you spend the night with me?"

His eyes light up and the corners of his mouth slightly turn upwards, "I believe those terms are acceptable"

You both finish up your meal and he excuses himself to grab a change of clothes while you head to the bathroom to change your pad yet again.

One of these days maybe he'll just keep a change of clothes here

You ponder to yourself about the future for a moment until you start to have an awful pain shoot through your abdomen.

You leave the bathroom and immediately lay down to curl yourself into a ball, its not clear how long you stay in that position but when Spock returns he knocks and let's himself in after you tell him its fine. He immediately walks over to your bed at the sight of you, "is the pain becoming too much?"

You nod slightly and roll over to face him, "is it alright if we just lay here together for awhile"

"Of course, just allow me to change into my robes"

You feebly nod and go to turn the movie back on, you might as well finish it before bed considering its not even 6 yet. After he gets changed he looks at the screen, then at you, and raises an eyebrow.

"A recommendation from Uhura" you respond to his wordless question

"I see, well you'll forgive me if I do not watch it with you"

"All I need is you, I know you don't like this sort of thing but I'm glad you indulge my human tendancies"

"There are many qualities of yours i admire, and as you are well aware I do not require silence in order to think about how to improve my work efficiency"

You shake your head slightly as he climbs into bed, "well as long as you're holding me i couldn't care less what you're thinking about i just enjoy your company"

A light green blush comes across his features, "I too enjoy being with you" he grabs your face and kisses you for a few moments until you break the kiss to groan about your lower abdomen. He places his hand on your forehead and looks in your eyes to silently ask permission to ease your pain. You nod and his presence fills your brain, the pain starts to leave your mind as you finally relax for the first time that day.

"I don't know what I would do without you" you tell him as he lowers his hand and once again wraps his arms around you.

"I am sure you would-"

"That was rhetorical, and I don't think I could love anyone like how I love you" the light green blush returns to his face and he puts his forehead to yours again.

"I love you as well" he tells the computer to turn the lights off and you fall asleep despite the horror movie still on in the background. He watches you for a few moments to be sure you've fallen asleep and then turns off the movie and allows himself to drift off alongside you.

End of part one

Authors Notes, in the original series theres an episode where only 5 of the essential crew weren't turned into these blocks so if you're curious this is what I was referencing in the paragraph that talks about being turned into rocks lol

[miraeluc]

you have an anxiety attack

prompt: “after a long day you’re just trying to cook for you and your roommate, but when you accidentally switch salt and sugar the stress dawns upon you and you lose it.”

pairing: kaeya x gender-neutral reader

warnings: description of an anxiety attack, explicit language

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluff, angst

rough day? 

no

roughest of the rough 

it started in the morning - all was good until you were all dressed and ready to go

all you needed to do was brush your teeth

of course you dropped toothpaste on your new blouse and had to change because your boss would literally kill you if you strutted in there with toothpaste stains on your clothing 

that didn’t upset you too much anyway,, yep, it kinda sucks but it is what it is

you went to work

that’s when it started to REALLY go downhill

first, you had to sit your ass in this tiny cubicle all day and it remained right on that chair every time you stood up

that’s what it felt like at least

then, you lost data that you’ve been working on for a MONTH

an entire month’s worth data!!!! LOST!!!!

curse you and your issue with forgetting where you put your folders

so you started over

was it worth it? 

no

your boss hated it

you ended up dropping the project overall,, handed it over to a co-worker

your excuse was that you felt too ‘unfit’ for the whole project and he would totally be a better fit!

poor bennett 

bennett is a nice guy, you always hang out with him during break

you usually talk shit about the other co-workers and he just listens and sits there like ◕ ◡ ◕

he’s just there for the food you bring him, really 

he’s a little dumb so he took the project from you with no hesitation

“i’ll do it for you, dont even worry about it, y/n!”

you ended up working overtime 

you had about 7 projects to finish until tomorrow morning and they were all only half-done 

so you got your coffee, turned off your phone and got to work

you finished at 9pm

your work hours are 8am-5:30pm

nope, not having a great time 

well, at least you can go home now!

you pack up your stuff and get up, leaving this hellhole of an office, stretching as you wait for the elevator before checking your phone to see 7 missed calls from your roommate

aka kaeya

aka boy that is most likely emotionally unavailable

aka boy that KEEPS TURNING OFF THE HEATERS TO LEAVE YOU TO FREEZE

his excuse is always that he can’t handle the warmth but you’re sure its so you whine about the cold so he can hug you to warm you up

maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on him???? BUT WHO CAN BLAME YOU 

he’s a whole package - the only thing he’s lacking is emotional availability lmao

which is why you never mentioned the day by day blooming feelings you’ve been developing for him

there would be no positive outcome from you telling him. he would politely turn you down, having to explain yet again that he doesn’t see himself having actual romantic feelings to someone 

you’re content with your current relationship with him

right?

kaeya is known as the fuckboy! of the city

neither of you mind, he’s having his fun

and you know that there’s much more to it 

you’re very happy to have gained his trust enough for him to let his flirty side down when with you, at least

well, there’s no time to ponder over your relationship with him because you’re already sprinting to catch the last bus of the day

right as you got to the station it drove away

fuck

what now?

you have to walk home. alone. in the dark.

oh well. 

usually bennett drives you home but obviously he left earlier

its only a 15 minute walk you can do it

it’s not that bad there’s street lamps hey!

not that bad until it starts to rain, apparently

by the time you get home there’s water in places rainwater shouldn’t be

kaeya is running by the time he hears the front door

“where were you??”

“why didn’t you reply to my calls??”

“do you have a slight idea about how worried i w-”

he stops when he sees your soaked figure and tired expression

“oh, y/n, what happened?” 

he immediately helped you chuck off your wet coat and shoes 

“i worked overtime and missed the last bus so i had to walk home”, you sighed

he nodded and hummed “Go ahead and take a shower then, wouldn’t want you to get sick now, would we?” he winked

you scoffed but nodded anyway

 “yeah, especially in this coLD FUCKING APARTMENT BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET THE HEATERS TURNED ON-”

you only heard him laugh before shutting the door in the bathroom and jumping into the shower, needing to warm up because you were sure your toes were about to fall off from the cold

at least the shower went well

:///

you got dressed in lounge attire when you got out of the shower, walking to the kitchen because you were very hungry

you gave bennett all your food today so you didnt have any left

he just looked so hungry

ANYWAYS

you’re in the kitchen, deciding on what to cook

if you ask kaeya he will tell you to just drink wine instead so, no

you kind of want something sweet so you decide to bake cupcakes

kaeya shows up too

“what’re you baking?”

he sat and watched as you gathered all the ingredients you need

“cupcakes. how was your day?”

you strike up a conversation - all you talked about today was work and you need some decent interaction, plus kaeya is a super nice talk partner

“good. i had a day-off today so i layed in bed all day”

you hummed, stirring the eggs and flour 

“how come? you never get off”

“no reason, i was forcibly given a day off- well anyways, what i wanted to tell you about before you worried me because i thoght you were deAD when you didn’t respond, is that i need your help setting up a date for diluc-”

you stopped listening halfway

you were looking at the unopened sugar bag on the counter

you just stirred the sugar in, why is it unopened????

you look over at the open bag of salt

wait a second 

you take out a little dough and taste it

FUCK

“hello??? earth to y/n?? are you even liste-”

he stops himself as soon as you look at him with your lower lip trembling 

uhhhhh

he’s never been in this situation

“y/n?? why are you crying-”

he looks at the counter and the dough, then he sees the salt beside the bowl you were stirring in and leans over to try some

oh, that’s why

“oh come on, is that what you’re crying over?” he snorted

he could barely catch you when you collapsed and started sobbing 

he immediately regreted what he said

“hey, y/n, it’s just a little dough! its okay-” 

you just sobbed and he sat down with you, sighing and pulling you into a tight hug

you felt your lungs constricting and your hands started shaking 

you didn’t even notice how antsy you felt all day until now

you gasped for air and he tightened his grip on you

“w-why am i so worthless?!”

you punched his chest

“i can’t do a single thi-ng with-out messing it up!”

punch

“i’m so us-useless”

punch

“i should just kill m-”

he immediately pulled away and cupped your face before you could finish what you were about to say

“y/n, look at me. you had a bad day - you’re not useless! you’re stressed out! you’re one of the most hardworking people that i know- and, and don’t you ever mention anything about killing yourself! i won’t let you go, not as long as im here”

you were too busy fighting against the constricting feeling in your lungs to notice the tear slipping down his cheek before he hugged you tightly again

your hands gripped at his tshirt

his hand rested over your shaky ones

it broke him

seeing you in such state hurt him so much, he felt his own heart breaking a little with every gasp you took 

“come on, let’s breathe together”

his voice was soft when he spoke to you

he took a deep breath in, you following

you wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest when breathing out 

hearing his heartbeat made you feel safe

he kept breathing with you until he was more than sure you could breathe comfortably again 

why did he feel like this?

sure, flirting with girls is fun 

and ghosting them is also fun

he usually doesn’t care about hurting them

but why does he feel the need to protect you from all bad things?

and why does your pain hurt him too?

he sighs and shakes his head as if that would clear his mind 

(it doesn’t)

oh well. 

taking care of your needs is more important right now

he picks you up and walks over to the couch, sitting down, placing you on his lap and hugging you 

“you’re not cooking anything, we’ll order takeout.”

you sniffled and nodded 

you did feel your heart flutter a little when he sat you down on him

he’s never done that 

you ignore it and reside into the warmth he gives instead, nuzzling your face into his chest 

he smiles softly and strokes your hair, using his free hand to type in what you were ordering

you both fell into a comfortable silence

at some point he thought you fell asleep lol

“kaeya?”

he rose his brows a little and looked down, humming

“thank you.”

additional notes: welp. this was my first drabble! it was very fun to write and i genuinely look forward to writing more! i’d appreciate it alot if you leave any feedback or even requests for drabbles :-)

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final

Pairings: jaemin x reader

Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)

<previous>

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up

Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct

It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.

Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.

It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.

"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."

Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.

Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.

"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.

"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"

The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.

"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.

Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.

Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.

But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.

"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.

"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."

You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.

"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.

"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.

It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.

"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.

"But-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."

"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.

"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"

You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.

You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."

It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.

"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.

Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."

"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."

The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."

His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.

"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.

"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.

"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.

You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.

"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.

You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.

But that was only you overthinking.

Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?

These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.

It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.

"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.

You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."

"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."

That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.

"Im gonna skip."

Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"

You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"

"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.

"What are you getting at?"

The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."

You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.

"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."

"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.

You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.

Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.

Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.

"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.

"Whats stupid?"

Speak of the devil.

"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.

Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.

"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.

"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.

"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.

"Youre doing it again."

"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.

"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."

Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.

You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."

Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"

"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.

Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"

"I told you its nothing."

"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.

"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"

Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.

"I never even went that far with jeno."

"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"

The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.

"No i didnt."

"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."

Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.

"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.

Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.

"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.

Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.

"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."

Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."

Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.

You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.

"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."

"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.

Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.

You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.

Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.

Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.

Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.

You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.

"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.

"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.

Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.

Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.

"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.

"No."

"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."

You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.

"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.

"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."

You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."

It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.

"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.

Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"

"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."

"My dick or my attention?"

"Both."

Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.

You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.

"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."

Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.

"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."

You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.

The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.

It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.

"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.

"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.

"I-i was n-not."

Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.

Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.

Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.

"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.

"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.

This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.

"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.

"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"

"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.

Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."

"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.

"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.

You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?

"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."

The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.

"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.

"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."

Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.

Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.

"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."

Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."

Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.

"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."

Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.

The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.

His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.

"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.

Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.

"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.

Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.

Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.

Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.

"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.

The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.

The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.

Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.

" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.

"Cum, princess."

The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.

Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..

You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.

"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"

You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."

"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"

You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."

"So is that a yes or no?"

"Of course its a yes!"

It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.

"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.

You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."

"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.

"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"

"...nothing."

"Jaemin."

His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."

Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"

"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.

"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"

Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."

"Loved? Na jaemin-"

"Dont say it." He groaned.

"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.

"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"

"When did you become so shy?"

"Fair point."

Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.

[ifyouseekay468]

what do YOU personally think the teenagers (mcr) lyrics are about my friend ? like i keep thinking about them but im not sure im going somewhere

okay, ive answered this ask twice on mobile and each time my phone deleted it, so here I go, the FINAL version of this post

It's been a hot minute since I listened to teenagers so I decided to do a quick run-through of the lyrics, and while Gerard&Co were raised catholic the lyrics seem to REEK of protestant trauma, so that's what I'll be going off of, but I'm pretty sure the two denominations overlap here. The first verse is about kids in youth group, Christian GirlsTM especially, who are put there to pressure you into being "normal" into "cleaning you up with the lies in the book" (bible), although the pastor is the one giving the teaching THESE are the people who will get you to BELIEVE, who will get you to lie to yourself, who will get you to church camps that on some level utilize brainwashing techniques, and will DESTROY you with the idea that you're "Just one of them, and just need to change everything about yourself and fake your way through every last sermon to be just a part of the gang",

The part about sleeping with a gun and keeping an eye on you is about two things: one, about the idea that God can see all your thoughts, that THINKING about "sin" (ie; fantasizing about sex) is as bad as COMMITTING sin (which is fucked up entirely on its own because fantasy is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM REALITY and that is a CRUCIAL aspect of sexual expression in order to safely engage in sex), AND the fact that these kids will pretend to be your friend, will prod you into doing things with them, into telling them things about yourself all the while making you feel like "part of the group" when really they're just blabbing either to religious leaders, or are ostracizing you and bullying you behind your back.

"The drugs never work"

This in my opinion points to the fact that this song is specifically about being QUEER in a christian culture. It is common for trans people to turn to drugs or psychedelics in an area that has little to no access to gender affirming care, or acceptance because they both change reality and disconnect one from the body that is causing their dysphoria. It can also help burn away the guilt, so to speak.

The methods of keeping you clean is about two things: one, about purity culture, no smoking, no drinking, no friends who drink, no sex, no porn, no masturbation, no impure thoughts. The second, is the way they're able to subtly manipulate you into hiding yourself, into lying to yourself, into forcing yourself to the point of death into being cishet. They're keeping you clean not just from the vices of addiction, but the vices of the flesh, the vice you can't escape because it's a part of you from the day youre born. On a darker note, this could also be referring to c*nversion th*rapy, given this second interpretation of the lyrics

"Ripping your head and aspirations to shreds," Is again about two things in my opinion: both the idea of "losing yourself to God's will" that usually leads one to losing their identity and getting depression and fucked up mental health, and the "shift" that happens at church when you reach a certain age. You know the kind, right? You're four years old, and church is FUN! You get to go to this big room and sing and dance on stage with all your friends! You get to play GAMES! You get to talk to the ~cool teenagers~ who are ~Just like you~ and ~think youre a "cool kid"~, you have ~best friends~ who will be with you like Jesus and the 12! but then, one day, something happens, something SHIFTS. maybe the Sunday school teacher leaves, maybe there's a new family at church, maybe the church changes buildings. Maybe none of that has to do with any of it, all you know is that now things are forever different. Church isn't fun anymore. The kids classes are repetitive, they're bribing you into memorizing bible verses with money, they DONT reward critical thinking or analysis, but they do call you smart, that's because they dont want SMART kids they want OBEDIANT ones. You have no choice but to stat going to REAL church. Suddenly, your best friends are not your best friends. Suddenly they're avoiding you. Suddenly they're lying to you. Suddenly you're too... well they don't know the word yet but "gay" for them...

"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"

This is what youth group does to you, it isolates you from your entire generation because there are few people your age and a whole lot older than you, and everyone is so much DIFFERENT from you for some reason, but neither of you know why, not yet anyways. This makes you distance yourself from teenagers, because you can't SEE yourself as a teenager, because youre nothing like other teenagers.

"They could care less as long as someone will bleed,"

This is the martyr complex that permeates youth culture like the smell of wine, the problem? these kids love to make a show of themselves and their martyrdom, but they're unwilling to martyr themselves, so what do they do? They throw someone else to the wolves and take the glory. They ostracize and eliminate the unique in the name of preserving their faith. They convert and convert and god help anyone who doesn't want to convert.

"So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose"

This is about deconversion, how the moment you leave the church you never want to see another cross till the day you die, that you want to avoid christians of all costs because you don't want them To drag you back into the pit that devoured you. So you do anything and everything you can to make yourself repulsive to Christians, which actually coincides with your indulgence of mundane activities previously considered as "sin"

"Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me,"

There's a different between a cishet ex Christian and a queer ex christian, and that difference is that a cishet atheist is more likely to be left alone than a queer one, especially a queer one whose whole demeanor screams "Christians be gone," that shit is like... it summons christians faster than free winter jam tickets! They swarm to you frothing at the mouth with holy water waiting to either convert you or exorcise you into purity, depends on if you want them or not. Again, you don't even have to be OPENLY gay, they can TRACK this shit. it's like fucking... INSTINCT or something.

"The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid,"

as alluded to above, this lyric is about how, even from a young age, BEFORE youth group, this toxic culture kind of develops. ESPECIALLY around christian girls. They don't have the vulgarity of slurs, but they can make up for it with slang like "tomboy" "nancyboy" "too boyish" "a sissy" "Weird" etc, youre NEVER going to fit in, because the moment that "shift", from fun games and songs to Real Church, occurs, you have a target on your back.

"But if youre troubled and hurt what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did,"

This is probably a gun. But that's a tad too boring for my taste. If you were raised protestant you KNOW that being an ex protestant, after the craziness of evangelicalism, you would not hesitate to burn down your old church. It could be a secret tattoo, top surgery scars, hell maybe even nipple clamps. Whatever it is, it's symbolic of revenge. I know that anytime I wore my labrys necklace to church I would always hide it under my shirt. I hid books and CDs under there too. Again, it's about revenge, it's about breaking free, gun or no gun, the point is getting out and getting back at them.

and thats pretty much my take on the song. Again, this is not about artist intent this is just what the lyrics reminded ME of personally (as you can see from the over biographical bullshit I wrote), I'm always open to contradicting interpretations though as I always have like 2+ interpretations of a song or book! I never really saw the song through the lens of youth group specifically but when I went over the lyrics again in retrospect it all seemed to really click (pun not intended) well! Thanks for the ask!

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Surprise Girlfriend

A random quirk affect makes things a little more... interesting. 

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex, cursing, dildo use, just naughty things in general Pairing: Fem!Bakugou x Koge (OC) (and regular Baku, too, a little) Words:  8,571

a/n: This was an idea that I’ve had for a long time and finally decided to just... go for it, even tho it’s super kinda weird and naughty. But y’know, I had fun, it was difficult and different for me so I think that was good to help me with my... funk, I suppose. I decided to stick with masculine pronouns for Bakugou during this, so sorry if it seems a little confusing or off when I describe him. There are some other quirk related accidents that can turn out in different ways that I have in mind, too, that I may be able to do eventually. Either way, enjoy. Also enjoy these horrible awful gross sketches that I did, even tho I don’t like them much I though I’d include them anyways lol. 

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Full story under the cut~

Cutesuki 6:09 PM: koge. im coming home. i want to hear NOTHING about how i look. NOTHING. 

Koge was pretty sure that a text had never confused her so much in her entire life, especially not a text from her lover. Many things about it didn’t make sense, but the fact that he used her first name along with capital letters made her increasingly nervous. What could possibly be the problem for him to send her such an ominous message? Had he gotten hurt? Was he covered in dirt and grime from a particularly difficult mission? Was he missing a limb? 

Me 6:11 PM: What in the world are you talking about Katsuki? (⊙＿⊙) What’s wrong? Are you okay? (⋟﹏⋞)

Cutesuki 6:15 PM: im not hurt if that’s what you want to know, but i am not okay. i fucking mean it. one word and im getting a hotel for the next 24 hours. 

Me 6:16 PM: Whatever it is, it can’t be that horrible. (´･･`) Why don’t you just tell me, so I won’t be so surprised when you get home? (･ω･)b

Cutesuki 6:18 PM: no! you just had better act like nothing is different! nothing! 

With an annoyed grumble, Koge pulled her legs up onto the couch, adjusting her blanket over her chilled feet. If it was truly as serious as Bakugou was making it seem, there would be no possible way for her to just ignore it. She knew that she would end up saying something, as the words would just spill out of her mouth involuntarily, as they had a tendency to do anyway. At least it seemed to be something temporary, according to what he had said along with his threat to avoid her for twenty four hours. That put her at ease a little, though her curiosity was unquenchable. 

I wonder if he got turned into a cat person like I did not long ago. Though that ended up being fun. If he’s this upset about it, I think having fun is definitely going to be out of the question. 

Deciding to practice at pretending that nothing was going on, Koge dropped the topic and went on discussing normal, mundane things with him as she awaited his arrival home. Bakugou took to the normalcy well, not making a fuss or seeming off in any way. The only thing he seemed frustrated about discussing was the movie night they had planned, as he seemed quite set on just going straight to sleep. Even eating dinner brought about a frustration that Koge couldn’t understand just yet. It was as if he wanted the day to be over, to sleep as soon as possible. Perhaps sleeping was the way to get rid of what was ailing him? 

Eventually, the sound of rough and angry knocking reverberated through the room, prompting Koge to stand. Nervous butterflies rattled about in her stomach all the way to the front door of their apartment, and as she unlocked all the locks, they nearly burst out of her. As the last one was undone, she took in a deep breath, preparing herself to not make a scene. 

All of her preparation was useless. The instant she laid eyes on her lover, she gasped out in shock, instantly covering her mouth in an attempt to stop anything else from escaping. The person before her was indeed her lover, the man that she had grown up with and loved with every inch of her soul. But he was no longer a… he. A woman stood before Koge, dressed in the clothes that Bakugou had left in that morning with his familiar duffle bag slung over their shoulder. Although Bakugou’s regular height hadn’t changed, the clothing hung extra baggy off the figure of the woman, making it nearly impossible for Koge to see exactly what they looked like. Those particular points paled in comparison to their face, which was absolutely lovely, if not for the glare and typical snarl that arose when Koge let out her squeak of surprise. 

“Damn it, Utsuro, I told you not to act up!” The feminine growl of Bakugou’s new voice was foreign to Koge’s ears, leaving her in stunned shock as the stranger shoved their way into their home. Swallowing her shock, Koge shut and relocked the door, waiting until she was done before even attempting to speak. 

“Katsuki… I’m sorry, but you have to tell me what happened first. Was this done by a quirk?” She took the duffle bag as it was shoved into her arms, watching her lover curiously as he stripped off his shoes, not even bothering to put on slippers. Once shoes and jacket were removed to be left at the entrance, Bakugou stormed off towards the bedroom, hands shoved into his pant pockets. 

“Of fucking course it was a quirk! And it wasn’t even a villain! It was a pedestrian I helped get out of a fight zone, and she was so scared she activated her quirk on me. They didn’t need me there so I fucked off the instant it happened, so the media couldn’t see me. I’m fucking pissed about it!” 

Following the fuming blonde into the bedroom, Koge put the bag in her hands down in its usual spot, though she didn’t even get a glance at Bakugou before he was in the bathroom. The door slammed shut so loudly it made Koge jump, and she was sure the entire 40 story tall apartment building could feel it. “Did she at least tell you how to go back?” 

“I have to either sleep or sweat it off. She said that if I sleep it off, it will take longer, but it will go away within a day. If I sweat it off, it will be gone sooner. So my ass is going to do an intense workout, until I’m sweating my balls off, then going to bed!” The sound of shuffling clothes was mixed in with his voice, only making Koge curious again as to what this new body looked like. 

“But Katsuki, you don’t have any balls.” 

“Shut up! Get me my fucking tank and shorts out of the dresser!” 

Giggling, Koge made her way over to the commanded destination, pulling out Bakugou’s favorite black tank, loose workout shorts and a pair of boxers. She was unsure if these were even going to fit this new mystery figure, but she knew that none of her stuff would fit either. Bakugou was still much taller than her, and Koge doubted that the new feminine figure was any less muscular than normal. So, she brought the clothes over, knocking on the bathroom door lightly. “Here, love.” 

The door peeked open barely enough for Bakugou to peek out at Koge, his hand reaching through. Still, Koge kept the clothes close to her, peering up into that crimson glare she loved curiously. “Can I see you?” 

“What?! No, you can’t see me, give me that shit.” Bakugou’s cheeks flushed dark red, snapping his fingers to command the delivery of the clothes. “I mean it, I’ll fucking leave and go get a hotel if you keep bothering me!” 

With a roll of her eyes, Koge plopped the clothing into the slender waiting hand, which vanished back behind the door before it shut. “Honestly? I’m your girlfriend, you shouldn’t be scared to show me yourself. What am I gonna do? Take pictures and post it all over the internet? Laugh at you? You want me to act normal, but you’re the one acting like a spaz.” 

“I think I have every fucking right to act like a spaz, Utsuro! I was just turned into a fucking chick! Damn it, my tits are too big for this shirt!” 

Koge instantly began to laugh, though she covered her mouth to try and stifle the sounds as to not upset her lover further. “Well, that tank does fit you tight, even when you’re normal. You want just a normal big t-shirt instead?” 

“Everything’s too big, Utsuro. Even my damn boxers!” 

Beginning to actually feel bad for him, Koge tapped her finger against her chin, wondering what she could do. “You could just go without boxers, and wear the shorts. It’s no different than freeballing as a dude.” 

“It is different! I have a cunt now, it goes up inside my body, that’s gross! What if it gets all infected or some shit.” 

“Okay, now you’re being ridiculous. I’ve gone without underwear plenty, and you are well aware of many of those times. Have I ever gotten an infection? No. Just don’t go rubbing your pussy all over weird shit or shoving stuff up in there.” 

Bakugou groaned out loudly, a sound Koge knew well to be an expression of frustration and defeat. With a small tap of her fingers on the door, Koge sighed. “Come on, Katsuki. Come on out and I’ll help you find clothes that fit. You can’t avoid me all night. I’m not trying to make fun of you or anything.” 

After a long moment of silence that almost had Koge giving up, the door finally opened, revealing Bakugou in all his red-faced shame. He couldn’t even look at Koge, fiddling with the shorts to try and tighten the string to keep them as snug as possible. “I don’t like this, Utsuro… I feel fucking weird.” 

Comforting smile on her lips, Koge reached out and took Bakugou’s hands gently, leading him out into the bedroom. “Just remember that it isn’t permanent, love. It will go away, sooner than you think. If it helps at all, you’re seriously one smokin’ hot lady.” 

Face flushing darker, Bakugou scoffed, snatching his hands from Koge to cross his arms over his chest. “Tch, fuck off! You think I wouldn’t be?!” 

“Katsuki, you’re so beautiful as a man, there’s no way you’d be any less beautiful as a woman. Your boobs are even bigger than mine!” Tenderly, Koge reached up and cupped his cheeks, which were hot against her chilled skin. “Come here. I missed you today.” With a gentle tug, she got him to lean in for a kiss, pushing herself up on her toes to meet him halfway. She did have to admit that it felt different, his lips softer with just a hint of that characteristic roughness she was familiar with. It was still her Bakugou, and that fuzzy, warm sense of love filled her like it did any other day. 

He didn’t quite seem to agree, the furrowing of his brow hinting that he was still uncomfortable. “That doesn’t… bother you?” 

“Hm? No Katsuki, not at all. I mean, your lips are way softer but that’s it. Why would it bother me?” Koge sneakily wiggled her way into an embrace, her arms around his neck while he nervously locked his arms around her torso. 

“But, I’m not… I’m a fucking chick right now. That doesn’t make you feel weird?” 

“No. You’re still my Katsuki. I love more than just your body, you know. Everything about you is still the same. Just… you’re a lady right now. And that’s fine.” 

“But you’re not attracted to women.” His hands moved to caress her sides. “It has to be strange for you.” 

Koge gave a small roll of her eyes, pushing herself up on her toes to kiss him again. “It’s not! Sure, I’m attracted to your normal body, but that doesn’t make a difference. I love you for being you. Man or lady. Even if this was permanent, nothing about how I love you would change.” Her comforting words only made his cheeks somehow flush darker, a scoff leaving his lips before he shoved his face into her hair, squeezing her against him in his embarrassment. Smiling, Koge stroked his hair softly, glad to see that the texture and style of it hadn’t changed much at all. “Don’t stress out about that. It’s just temporary.” 

“I’m fucking glad it is. I don’t know what I’d do if I ended up a woman forever.” Bakugou peeled himself from her, making his way over to his dresser to dig about for clothes that might fit him better. It was obvious that he needed it, as the shorts would have fallen without him holding on and it was clearly uncomfortable. “I don’t think I have anything that will stay on…” 

“Hmmm.” Koge followed him over, stopping at her side of the dresser to dig around as well. “I might have some shorts, but they are like… girly shorts. And some normal underwear, too. Nothing frilly or… thong-ish. You could try them?” Pulling out the mentioned clothing items, she took a second to look over Bakugou’s body, trying to gage his size. His new figure very closely matched hers, with a soft athletic frame that was quite curvy. The only difference was really the height, so she figured that the shorts and underwear would probably fit. “I know you’d prefer your boxers and all, but if you’re worried about not being covered, these would be the most comfortable.” 

Bakugou glared at the clothing out of the corner of his eye, clutching a pair of his own shorts in his hands tightly. The reluctance was obvious on his face, but Koge could see that small spark of realization behind it. A new body required different clothes, and though it was clear that he didn’t want to succumb to his new female figure, it was something he’d have to suffer through. Roughly shoving his clothes back into the drawer, he shut it harshly with his knee before taking the clothes in Koge’s hand. “And what if they don’t fit?” 

“They should. You’re taller than me, but your figure isn’t all that different. If they don’t fit then we’ll… figure out something else. We can both just walk around naked or something.” Koge couldn’t resist a smile at the blush on his face, though she was happy to see that he only went to the bed instead of going to hide in the bathroom. “Ooh, not scared to be around me anymore, huh?” 

“Well don’t fucking watch me change! Fuck, Utsuro, keep it in your pants.” Bakugou glowered at her over his shoulder, waiting until she huffed and turned her back to him before letting the baggy shorts and boxers fall to the ground. Pout on her face, Koge crossed her arms over her chest, listening to the sound of shuffling clothes and the familiar snap of underwear band against skin. 

“Any luck?” 

“I suppose… How can you stand this stuff so tight against your skin? It’s irritating! Like having a permanent wedgie.”

Koge giggled, unable to resist a glance over her shoulder. She got a peek of his backside as he pulled the shorts up into place, and from the looks of it, they fit just fine. A little tighter on him than they were for her, but they still fit better than the loose shorts. “Well, we don’t really have anything hanging in the way, so it’s normal. Those look good on you!” 

Glancing at her with cheeks still as crimson as his eyes, Bakugou scoffed, adjusting the tank to try and pull it further down to hide himself. “Shut up, I don’t want to hear that… I just want to work out and go to bed so I can be rid of this.” 

“But you haven’t even eaten dinner yet. You’ll make yourself sick doing that without food. C’mon, let's cook dinner first and then we can work out together.” Koge smiled at him, gently taking his hand as he approached her. “You gotta get used to your body first before you start working out, anyway. I can tell you’re fumbling a bit with the boobs.” 

“They’re so in the fucking way… I hate them.” 

“Aw, I like them. You’re at least a double D, Katsuki. They’re super pretty and perky without a bra, too. You haven’t squeezed them or anything yet?” 

“No! I am not touching myself in any way, don’t be perverted.” 

“I’m not being perverted. I just assumed that most guys, if they suddenly had tits, they’d want to touch them. You like mine so much, I just assumed you would have given them a squeeze.” Koge reached up and squeezed her own breast, pushing it up a bit. “I’m kinda jealous of yours…”

“Don’t start. Let’s just eat some fucking food so I can get on with working out and be done with it!” 

Cooking, eating, and cleaning up afterwards went about as normal as any other day, though Koge could see that Bakugou was struggling. He had issues holding chopsticks, more than normal, and cursed every time he dropped some rice down between his breasts. Koge couldn’t resist her giggles every time he had to fish it out, nor could she resist teasing him when his nipples became visible with the cold. He didn’t react as badly as she would have expected, merely covering them with his arm or pulling his long legs up into the chair to pull his knees to his chest. He may have not liked it, but Koge found him to be ridiculously adorable. 

As they finished cleaning up after dinner, Koge gave a sigh as she hopped up to sit on the counter, patting her full belly a few times. “Man, I’m full! That was delicious as always, Katsuki. Thank you.” 

Bakugou only gave a grunt in agreement, currently drying his hands off on a small towel they kept hanging next to the sink. Once he was done and after placing it back into its spot, he turned his crimson gaze towards her. Koge could see his tension soften as it usually did when he was calm, so she beckoned him over with open arms, which he responded to instantly out of instinct. Wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to the edge of the counter, he kissed her sweetly, making Koge’s heart flutter. She let her own arms wrap around his neck, legs hooking around his waist to keep him close. 

He was so soft and sweet, kissing and caressing her body with that familiar touch that she couldn’t resist. Eating may have been a problem, but showering her with such sweet affection obviously wasn’t, not missing a beat in the way he kissed her. If it was a normal night, she knew very well that he would have scooped her up and took her to bed, but as his lips left hers with a frustrated sigh, she knew she wouldn’t have anything more. 

Grumbling, Bakugou rested his forehead onto hers, his crimson gaze locked onto hers with that familiar haze of lust. “This fucking sucks, Utsuro…” 

Koge caressed his cheeks softly, giving a quiet hum as she stroked his skin with her thumb. “I know… I will admit, I’m missing your dick right about now. I’ve been waiting for you to get home all day, after that teasing you gave me this morning and left me hanging. Unfair.” 

“I can’t do anything about it… And I sure as hell am not putting on a strap on.” 

“We don’t even have one. I mean… I have other toys-” 

“No.”

Pouting, Koge let her hands fall to rest on his chest, running her fingers along his collarbone. “No? Why no?” 

“I’m not going to have sex with you while I’m like this. In any way. It's not happening.” 

“Why? It could be fun. A woman’s orgasm is completely different from a man’s, y’know. Aren’t you curious about what it feels like?” Her fingers traveled up and across the soft form of his jawline, waiting for that flicker of contemplation to cross his face. “You have to be, at least a little bit.” 

“You do realize my body is probably set up like a virgin, right? It wouldn’t be as fun as you’re thinking.” Bakugou gave a small shake of his head, his cheeks flushing at the thought. “It’d probably just fucking hurt.” 

“I’d treat you nicely, Katsuki. Nicer than you treated me.” 

“I treated you just fine! You weren’t even physically a virgin, you just hadn’t even been with a man before. You were the one telling me to fuck you harder, don’t even try to make me seem like an ass.” 

“I’m not! What I’m saying is that I wouldn’t go all out on you… at first. Until you’re ready. And if you don’t want anything up in there, I can just play with your clit instead.” 

Bakugou’s face was dark red by the time she finished, glowering down at her with reluctance. “You don’t even know how to fuck a woman.” 

“I get the concept. And I know how to use toys. That’s something you don’t know about.” 

“Not happening.” 

With a huff, Koge shoved her face into his chest, enjoying the soft plush swell of his breasts. “Meanie. I bet you’re super wet just from kissing me.” 

Bakugou stroked the back of her head softly, a hint that he truly did feel guilty that he couldn’t give her what she wanted. “Yeah, and it’s fucking uncomfortable. Not as bad as having a boner, though…” 

Koge kissed Bakugou’s skin softly, trailing her lips and soft kisses up to his neck. “You have a lady boner. That throbbing and aching…” She let out a small, airy sigh, caressing the side of his neck. “Mm… I’ve been feeling that all day. It can be unbearable sometimes…” 

Bakugou moved his hands to her hips, his fingers edging under her shirt to feel her skin. “I get that Utsuro, but there’s just no way.” 

“Katsuki… You aren’t scared are you?” Koge smirked against his skin, feeling his grip tighten on her. “Or is it… You don’t think you’d be good enough? I bet you just wouldn’t know how to handle me as a woman…” 

Bakugou brought his hand up, digging it into her hair and gripping a handful, tight enough to bend her head back and make her squeak out in a mix of pain and pleasure. “You’d better watch your mouth, Utsuro. You’re the one that wouldn’t know how to handle me.” 

“Wanna bet?” Koge let her fingers slip under the rim of his shorts, feeling her cheeks flush from the grip on her hair. “I bet I could have you wiggling and panting. I can already tell that you’d make the cutest expressions while cumming… C’mon Katsuki. Just because you have a pussy now doesn’t mean you should be one.” 

“I’m going to kill you.” 

“Do it. Pussy.”

Koge let out a squeal as she was scooped up off the counter, laughing when she settled over Bakugou’s shoulder as he headed towards the bedroom. “Wow, you’re still strong enough to carry me like a sack of potatoes!” 

“That’s because you are a potato.” Bakugou landed a firm smack on Koge’s ass, making her yelp and wiggle to escape. 

“Ow!! Mm, do it again-- oof!” Koge was denied her request as she was tossed down onto the bed, her body bouncing with the impact. She didn’t have time to move or react as Bakugou straddled her torso, sitting firmly down onto her lower stomach to keep her in place. With a huff, Koge glowered up at him, her hands gripping his thighs. “Well this is new.” 

Smirk on his lips, Bakugou reached behind him, his hand finding its way between her legs to rub and tease her clit on the outside of her shorts. “You really are just a horny little slut, Utsuro.” Free hand wrapping around her neck, he squeezed with just enough pressure to make Koge wiggle, and though his hands weren’t as big as normal, they still had a good amount of strength. “Soaked through your shorts and taunting me until I decide to fuck you. You’re going to regret it.” 

Struggling to breathe or make a single sound against the grip on her throat, Koge nodded, digging her nails into the skin of his thighs as she wiggled beneath him. “I’ll never regret it. I’m not the only one.” She slid one hand up, pressing and rubbing her thumb against Bakugou’s clit. “You’re just as wet as me. In fact, I think you’re worse. I can feel it on my stomach.” 

Bakugou couldn’t stop the furrowing of his brow or the slight rocking of his hips, confusion flashing across his features at the feeling. The clit and the head of a penis were decently similar, that much Koge knew, but she was also positive that they had a totally different sensation. He had grown so used to being the one to pleasure her, to taking control and turning her into the cock hungry bitch that she was. But now, he didn’t have that, and Koge was very curious to see how he was going to handle all the new sensations and pleasures that he was unfamiliar with. He may have known what places on the female body prompted reactions, but he had no idea how it felt. That would be Koge’s ace, her way to turn it around and make him the one to twitch and writhe. 

She wanted to see it so badly. Sure, Koge loved to be dominated by him, to be used and teased until she was filthy begging mess. But to tease him the same way, to use his temporary body to send him into the same bliss she felt was something she couldn’t resist. “Already wiggling your hips, Katsuki? I’m barely touching you.” 

“Shut up!” Bakugou’s middle and third fingers found their way into her mouth, gagging her to silence her teasing. That didn’t stop her fingers, however, which moved in rhythm with the way he was stroking her own clit. What she couldn’t mimic, however, was the direct contact that Bakugou was able to achieve, his hand shoved into her shorts and underwear. “That’s it, you bitch… suck on my fingers while I make you cum.” 

Although she wanted her chance, Koge couldn’t resist his demands, sucking and licking his fingers as if they were his member. Even though his hands weren’t as big, he didn’t lose any sense of technique, his fingers alternating from slipping into her cunt to rubbing her clit until she was moaning and squirming beneath him. She had completely forgotten about touching him, her hands once again gripping his hips as she had nothing else to anchor herself to. What she did notice however, was the way he grinded his hips against her stomach. It was just a slight movement, but it was enough for Koge to know exactly what he was doing. He was completely getting off on this, and that only turned Koge on more. 

Soon enough, Koge did just as he had said, cumming hard on his fingers as her teeth clamped down around the others. Removing his hand from her shorts, he gave her cunt a firm slap, making her squeak and gag on the fingers still knuckle deep in her mouth. “Fuck, Utsuro, you’re so sexy. And such a little horny slut, cumming so fast.” As he set her mouth free, Koge took a moment to cough. 

“How unfair, pinning me down so I can’t do anything to you. Still scared I’ll one up you?” She still didn’t have a chance to move as Bakugou shifted his body back between her legs, ripping her shorts and underwear off before gripping her legs behind the knee. With a push, he bent her legs over her body until her knees were on either side of her head, displaying her wet and throbbing cunt to him. 

“I have to let you know what you’re up against.” He gave her thigh a harsh bite, making her whine. As his lips and teeth continued to leave marks and kisses along her skin towards her dripping sex, he groaned out in frustration, eyeing every inch of her. “Fuck, I want to sink my cock into you so badly. I know what it feels like and I can’t fucking have it.” Tongue reaching her clit, he sent her into another round of pleasure and senseless moaning, her fingers digging into his hair. 

“I-I have a cock for us, Katsuki-- a-ah!! We just- oh fuck!” She gripped onto one leg as he released it, his fingers going in to pleasure her. His tongue on her clit and his fingers in her cunt drove her wild, making her nearly cum instantly again. “We have to p-pop your cherry first with s-something more- ah, something smaller.” 

Bakugou became increasingly aggressive with his movements, as if he didn’t want to give her a single chance to talk. Sure enough, Koge was silenced by her moans, until he brought her to yet another body shaking ograsm. Panting and already feeling her body becoming sticky with sweat, she ignored his chuckles of smug victory, focused instead on the feeling of his hands sliding back up her thighs. Even with more slender hands, his touch sent goosebumps across her skin, as did his snarky commentary. 

“Utsuro, you’d better have a fucking idea about what you’re doing. Because I haven’t been this fucking horny in a while, not since I fucked you in my office that last time.” 

Smirk crossing her lips, Koge put her feet against his chest, giving him a rough push to force him to fall backwards. Ignoring his grumbles of protest, she moved to straddle his body as he had her before, plopping down to sit on his lower stomach. “What’s that, Katsuki? Are you actually begging?” 

Snatching onto her thighs tightly, Bakugou glared up at her, though his face flushed with the feeling of her hands sneaking beneath his top. “I’m not begging for anything! I’m just fucking warning you, don’t even start this if you don’t think you can make me cum.” 

“Don’t worry,” Koge leaned forward and kissed him sweetly as she pushed his tank up over his breasts, lightly trailing her fingers against the soft flesh. “One way or another, I’ll get you there. And if not, then when you’re back to normal, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.” With another, more passionate kiss, she assumed that the way he kissed her back as a positive response. Becoming more excited with his silent approval, Koge did her best to mimic the way he played with her breasts. She lacked his roughness, but her tender touch is what she knew he liked, anyway. The hardness of his nipples and the way he gasped into the kiss with each roll or pinch beneath her fingers told her that she had to be doing something right. 

After a slight nibble to his bottom lip, Koge moved her kisses down across his jawline to his neck. They soon joined her hands at his breasts, making him gasp and tense up as her teeth clamped down around one nipple while the other was pinched between her fingers. Koge became rougher with this positive response, sucking, biting and rolling his nipples beneath her tongue. Shifting her body over to sit beside him instead, she continued with the attention to his breasts while one of her hands slipped beneath his shorts and underwear. 

The first thing Koge noticed was how hot and wet he was. Without bottoms on to catch the liquid, she was positive that he would be nearly dripping. She hadn’t expected him to be this turned on, but in relation to the way he acted in his normal body, she guessed that it was a pretty even reaction. Before she touched him, she moved her lips back up to kiss him, wanting to watch his expressions. “Are you ready, my Katsuki?” 

As he caught her gaze, Koge felt an intense fluttering of her heart and stomach, unable to believe how absolutely beautiful and flawless he was. His flushed cheeks and concerned furrow of his brow only made her want to pleasure him more, and as his face contorted with the first roll of that fleshy button beneath Koge’s fingers, her excitement only further boiled within her. His entire body trembled with just this delicate touch, and so she increased the pressure and speed of her rhythm, feeling the heat in her own body flare at the sweet moans that escaped him. 

It was obvious to her, however, that he was trying very hard to not seem overwhelmed by the feeling. The way his body tensed and how he held his breath were clear indications that he wasn’t letting loose, and Koge couldn’t allow that. 

With a quick kiss to his lips, which he seemed reluctant to let go, Koge changed up the direction of her fingers. In that moment of distraction from the kiss, Bakugou let out a sharp moan, before quickly trying to subdue it. Giving a small shake of her head, Koge kissed his cheek softly, before shifting her body between his legs. “That’s naughty, Katsuki. Don’t try to hold yourself back, that messes it up.” 

“I don’t want to sound like a desperate horny bitch, Utsuro.” He shifted his hips up so Koge could slip his shorts and underwear off, not even bothering to be embarrassed about hiding himself. “I already hate the way I sound.” 

“Don’t think about that.” Koge softly kissed her way down his stomach, giving him little bites and nibbles where she pleased. “Don’t hold your breath and don’t try to be quiet. No one can hear you but me. And I love the way you sound.” Hooking her arms beneath his legs to grip his hips, she ran her tongue along his sex, focusing all her attention on where her fingers had been before. Again, she used what he had always done to her as an example, instantly breaking his tough attitude into dust. His fingers dug into her hair as his body arched up into her, moaning without restraint. 

“F-Fucking hell, Utsuro, take it easy!” 

Giving a light nip to the swollen clit she was abusing, Koge couldn’t resist a smirk from crossing her lips as she gazed up his body. “This is me taking it easy, Katsuki. I think you’re just an extra sensitive woman. So cute.” Koge went right back to it, ignoring his choked complaint for her to not call him cute. 

This was something completely different for her, but just like when she would suck his cock, her only goal was to pleasure him. If she could turn him into a groaning mess then, she could do it now, and from what she could tell she was doing just that. She loved the feeling of his fingers digging into her scalp, his body rocking against her rhythm and thighs squeezing against her head when there were sudden spikes of pleasure. She loved him, and no matter what he may look like, all she wanted was to make him happy. 

In her moment of focus, her hand moved on unconscious impulse, adjusting her position just a bit to be able to slip two fingers into him. There was no resistance or pain as she expected. Instead, he gave an adorable squeak-like moan at the feeling, his body shuddering as his core squeezed her fingers. At first, Koge paused, worried she may have upset him until she felt a rough tug on her hair. 

“Don’t stop, Utsuro, for fucks sake!” 

Deciding not to punish him for being so demanding, she instead gave him what he wanted, continuing to pleasure him with her tongue and fingers. Within minutes, she could tell that he was getting very close, with the way his body moved and voice hitched. 

“F-fuck, I-- Koge--,” Bakugou couldn’t talk behind his moans, his body beginning to give those taletell signs that he was about to cum. Without skipping a beat, Koge pushed him all the way over the edge, until his entire body with jerking and twitching with the onslaught of his first female orgasm. It was as if he lost all control over himself, his fingers affectionately stroking through her hair as he calmed, sweating and trembling. Smiling and licking her lips, Koge sat up from him, removing her fingers from within his still throbbing cunt. 

“Mm… How was that, Katsuki?” Bringing her fingers up to her lips, she licked his essence off her fingers, finding that she quite liked the taste of him. Bakugou propped himself up on trembling arms, glaring up at her with obvious annoyance at her smug attitude. 

“You know damn well, I’m not going to say it.” 

“Do you want to be done?” Koge tenderly ran her hand up and down his inner thigh, watching his chest for a moment as he struggled to catch his breath. Bakugou’s brow furrowed at the question, his eyes glancing over at the nightstand which housed Koge’s collection of toys. He knew which one she had wanted to use, and now that it was quite obvious his body could accommodate such a thing without pain, he seemed… curious. 

“What would you want to use?” Sitting up all the way, Bakugou caressed her cheek softly, moving some of her hair out of her face. Cheeks flushing from the tender touch, Koge turned her lips into his palm to kiss it softly before looking over at the nightstand as well. 

“Well,” Koge placed her hand over is, her body tingling as his other hand moved up her thigh. “You know I have that one I bought on accident… That doubled ended dildo that I thought was like.. Two separate ones for some reason when I bought it.” 

“Hm…” Bakugou urged her closer until she was straddling his lap, his arms around her petite body in a comforting embrace, his lips exploring her neck. “Is that what you want?” 

Koge couldn’t resist a soft gasp at the feeling of his teeth nipping lightly at her skin, hiding her face into his hair as the fire within her grew stronger. “Katsuki, this has been and felt amazing as always, but I… I miss your cock so much. I miss feeling you inside me. A toy still can’t compare, but I think I need it to be satisfied… for now.” 

“Then get it out. I can’t let you go unsatisfied, Utsuro. You know I refuse to let that happen.” Bakugou’s hands slid up her sides, taking hold of her shirt and pulling it up to remove it. His tank was removed shorty after, leaving them bare. “Unless I have plans to tease and edge you like crazy before leaving you hanging for a while.” 

“Like you did this morning.” Koge kissed him sweetly before reluctantly peeling herself away from him, moving to the edge of the bed to dig through her nightstand drawer. Soon enough, the bright blue doubled ended and very realistic anatomy wise dildo appeared from the collection. “I got this one because it was so similar to your size. Widthwise, at least. But I didn’t realize it was like this.” She held the semi floppy toy out towards him, unable to resist giggling at the way he leaned his body away from it. 

“My dick doesn’t look like this, Utsuro.” With some hesitation that Koge couldn’t quite understand, Bakugou took the end of the dildo that was pointed at him, giving it a squeeze to test its firmness. 

Koge scooted in closer to him after she snatched another item from the nightstand, though she left it off to the side for now. “I didn’t say I got it for the way it looks. I got it for the size. How realistic it’s made is nice, too. Except for the color of course.” 

“Why do you even want this when you can have my dick whenever you want?” Bakugou glowered down at her, seemingly quite offended. “What’s the deal?” 

“You’re not always around, Katsuki. You have your business trips that can be up to three weeks that you’re gone! I get horny and lonely! What do you think I’m using when we sext or have phone sex, a pencil?” She snatched the toy from his grip, before giving him a punishing smack on the boobs for his stupid question. “I can barely get off using my fingers anymore, I need you, a dildo, a vibrator or a combination of the three.” 

“You’re just a-” 

“-A cock hungry slut. You’re right, I love dick. Your dick, to be specific. But,” With a sigh, Koge leaned back on one arm, picking up the other item she had pulled from the drawer a moment ago. Flicking the bottle open with her thumb, she squeezed a bit of the lube onto her hot and waiting sex, before using the dildo to spread it about and get a decent coating itself. “I’ll just have to use my imagination. Now come here, sit like me. Put your leg over mine, and I’ll put mine over yours… There.” While Bakugou got situation like instructed, Koge slipped the toy into her as far as it would go, her body tingling with the feeling of being full. 

Once settled, Bakugou watched her with a flushed and almost confused expression, as if he were unsure how to go about this. “This is weird.” 

“I know you’ve seen your fair share of lesbian porn, Katsuki. Here.” Koge shoved the lube into his hand, which he accidentally squeezed too hard in his embarrassed frustration, sending an excessive amount pouring over his inner thigh. Giggling, Koge ignored his frustrated cursing as she wiped up the liquid with her hand, leaning forward to kiss him as she spread it across his sex, unable to resist a bit of teasing to his clit. “You missed. It goes here, silly.” 

“I fucking know where it goes, bitch.” Digging his fingers into her hair, he gripped it roughly, swallowing her gasp as he kissed her with a more fierce passion. His impatience to move on overshadowing hers, Koge scooted her body just a tad closer, letting him take control. First, he focused on moving the toy within her, making her moan and gasp into the kiss as she clutched onto his leg. 

“Put it inside you, Katsuki,” Koge broke the kiss with her words, catching his gaze. “Please… I want to feel good together.” 

Bakugou couldn’t take his eyes off her eyes as he complied, shifting his hips to allow his end of the toy to slip inside him. Koge smiled as she watched his expression contort, pleasure and confusion fighting to take control. It was as if he couldn’t resist it, beginning to rock his body nearly the instant it was fully in place. After sharing another kiss, Koge leaned back on her hands, following his rhythm. This was something that she had never experienced before, but the feeling of the toy moving within her and watching him crumble to the pleasure only further spiked her own. 

It was clear that he didn’t know what to make of it, but was enjoying it nonetheless. Not just a little bit, either. He was taking full control of it all, setting the pace and even moaning without restraint. 

“W-what do you think?” Koge found a moment to speak, beginning to feel that bubble growing inside of her. Instead of answering her with words, Bakugou surprised her with a sudden change of position, grabbing her by the neck and forcing her down onto her back as he hovered his body over hers. Clutching his arm, the new pressure around her throat and sudden increased speed sent her pleasure spiking. Now, she was completely at his mercy, which was exactly how they both preferred it. 

“Yeah, I know you like that, you little horny bitch. Cum all over this cock, Utsuro.” 

“Y-you first.” A sly smirk crossing her lips, Koge reached down to grab the middle part of the dildo that wasn’t going into them, clicking a hidden button three times to set it to it’s fastest vibration. Bakugou’s tough front instantly faltered, increasing the speed and roughness of his movements. 

Koge had to admit, even though it was different, it was pure bliss. She never took her eyes off of him, if she wasn’t watching the way he moved than her eyes were on his face. The look of absolute desperation to reach climax and all willpower crumbling at the mercy of pleasure was something she could not only relate to, but also something she would never forget. 

“I-I’m going to cum! Katsuki--” Her nails digging into the skin of his arm, she did her best to hold off, noticing that his movements were becoming erratic and almost stiff. “Cum with me!” 

“S-shut up! I-- ah, fuck!” The way Bakugou’s voice squeaked as his body shuddered with his orgasm made Koge smile with her own, allowing her body to release the built up pleasure. It rolled across her body in strong waves, the vibrations only prolonging the experience. Bakugou couldn’t seem to take the excess stimulation, removing the toy from himself and thus from within her, pushing it away as if it were causing harm. Koge giggled softly at the action, reaching up to caress his cheeks. 

“Come here, you adorable thing. Love of my life.” She wrapped her arms around Bakugou as he rested himself down onto her, though he kept most of his weight on his arms. With a tired groan, he buried his face into her neck, giving Koge easy access to run her fingers through his hair. 

“No more,” He grumbled against her skin. “How can you have five or more of those in a session.” 

Koge gave a small shrug, prompting him to shift himself back up to look down at her. “I’m used to it, I guess. And you just make it so easy, just by being your amazing sexy self.” 

“Damn right.” After sharing a kiss, Bakugou let his lips trail across her cheek and to her neck, caressing her body to his with a tender touch that sent Koge’s heart fluttering. As he moved them to lay on their sides, Koge nuzzled her face into his chest, soaking in the warmth and soft plushness of his body. 

The time spent cuddling was short lived as Bakugou suddenly pulled himself from the bed, snatching his discarded clothes off the floor and putting them back on. Curious, Koge rolled over onto her side to watch him, though she quickly understood what he was doing as he pulled his arms up over his head to stretch. “You’re still going to work out?” 

“Fuck yes I am. I didn’t sweat nearly enough form that fuck, I have to sweat more to get this quirk out of my damn system.” 

So he did, working out until he was quite literally dripping with sweat. He did so for about an hour and a half, with Koge watching from the comfortable confines of their bed, her fluffy fleece blanket wrapped around her from chin to toe. Once he was satisfied that he had worked himself to the limit, he hopped into the shower with Koge, whom spent most of the time under the water playing with Bakugou’s breasts. At this point, he was so tired that he gave up after slapping her hands away a couple of times, letting her do whatever she wanted. 

Squeaky clean and dressed for bed, the couple buried themselves beneath the blankets. With a bit of juggling of positions and figuring out how to lay down comfortably with his breasts in the way, Bakugou squeezed Koge to him tightly. Koge couldn’t resist the smile on her face as he nuzzled his face into the side of hers, placing a firm yet affectionate kiss on her flushed cheek. “Mm, someone’s really sleepy. My sweet Katsuki…” Turning her head a bit, she caught his lips in a kiss, caressing his cheek softly. Bakugou returned the affection without question, though he did scoff once their lips parted. 

“Shut up, Utsuro. Before I kick your ass out of bed.” 

“You’d never.” Her fingers trailed along his jawline softly, keeping her gaze locked with his as she smiled against his lips. “Besides, we both know you like it when I’m all lovey towards you. Admit it.” 

“I couldn’t be in love with you if I didn’t.” 

Heart fluttering, she gave him one last kiss before cuddling herself in for sleep, her head resting comfortably on the swell of his breasts. “Mm… Boobs really are comfortable.” 

“Well enjoy them, because I expect to be normal by morning.” 

“I’ll have my big strong man back. Though, this is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Such fun.” 

“It wasn’t fun, Utsuro.” 

“Lies. You had fun. It wasn’t as fun as when I was a cat girl, but I still enjoyed it. And I know you did, too. At least a little.” 

“Whatever… Shut up and go to sleep.” 

“I love you.” 

With another affectionate kiss to the top of her head, Bakugou kept her close, filling Koge with such a strong sense of pure adoration. “I love you, too, Koge. I can’t wait to be back to myself in the morning…” 

The couple fell into a deep and restful sleep, with no alarm and no sense of urgency waking them up. What did pull Koge into consciousness, however, was the sudden pleasurable feeling of being full. A familiar form within her core sent that blissful tingling across her skin, forcing her to clutch onto the sheets and moan into her pillow. On her stomach, she could feel the weight of her lover at her hips, straddling her legs as his manhood filled her. How long he had been playing with her, she didn’t know nor did she care. All she could do was lift her hips up into him, feeling him reach into her depths like no toy on earth ever could. He was so hot and eager, his burning palms on her ass sending fire through every inch of her body. 

“Someone’s finally awake,” That deep growl of his voice made Koge’s heart flutter, opening her eyes to peer up at him over her shoulder. Bakugou was indeed back to his old self, his gorgeous muscular body looming over her. “I nearly had you cumming in your sleep just from fingering you.” 

Nearly feeling like he was reaching all the way into her stomach, Koge’s entire body was aching for him to move. “That’s mean, Katsuki… Not even waking me up to enjoy the fun.” 

“Who says I didn’t try? It’s not my fault you sleep like a fucking rock.” With that, he began to rock his hips, slowly and teasingly working himself within her. Unable to resist, Koge arched her hips up a bit more, an airy sigh of pleasure leaving her lips. 

“You just couldn’t wait, huh? Not that I can blame you… Fuck, it’s so hot… So deep--” A sharp moan interrupted her as he gave a rough thrust of his hips, picking up his pace as he leaned his body over her. After pressing a rough kiss to her cheek, he moved his lips to her ear, his voice nearly making her cum already. 

“Shut up, Utsuro… Now that I’m normal, it’s time for me to get you back for all that bullshit you put me through yesterday. So… tell me how good my cock feels inside you, and maybe I’ll give you what you’ve been missing.” 

[mika-meowz]

*SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE*

5 PAGE ESSAY SUMARRY THINGG ON OUTCASTS HERE WE FUCKIN GO

So, let’s start with our main, beginner characters. We have Miggy, a dream man with a Kermit voice who is owner and manager of the Big Time Big Top, who can also have a short temper. (More on that later.) Next, there’s Isaac Bluu, an amazing triangle boyo who, in my opinion, seems pretty chill and adorable. He works at the Big Time Big Top as a fire dancer. I love him and I think his species is Isrep? Up next, we have 8-Ball, a mutated human who is haunted by the spirit of his sister whom he had to pull the plug on since she was dying of a disease called ‘Red Plague’ and 8-Ball didn’t have money. 8-Ball’s real name is Kenny! 8-Ball was a nickname given to him by his sister, Queen. He also works at the Big Time Big Top as a magician. And now, Giuseppe. Holy hell, do I ever love him. Giuseppe is an adorable, big, 4-year-old slime boy. He’s very energetic and if someone hurts him, I will s c r e e. He also works at the Big Time Big Top as a contortionist and has an adorable slime puppy names Giorgio, if I remember correctly. And lastly (for the time being,) we have Bojanny Bunny. I’m personally not a big fan of him but here’s info nonetheless. Bojanny is actually a dead rabbit possessed by some kind of demon.. rabbit.. thing?? He is a trapeze artist.

Now, moving onto the story. We start off with Miggy waking everyone up and talking about a festival, (which, to my knowledge, is like when they preform.) and we also learn that Isaac and 8-Ball have a rivalry going on. Miggy assigns everyone their tasks to prepare for the festival before leaving. 8-Ball is simply told to practice his act, so he decides to go find something entertaining to do so he can distract himself from his grief over Queen. He decides to go to the Fun-House, which doesn’t go too smoothly. He ain’t very entertained and can’t really go down the slide since his skin is apparently like ‘pencil grip.’ Isaac walks over and asks what’s going on since 8-Ball not being able to slide made a loud screech. 8-Ball gives a vague explanation as to what’s going on, resulting in Isaac saying, “You’re STILL depressed??”

yeah and that’s as far as I got from there so tkmeskip or something and we find everyone aside from Isaac and Miggy outside. Isaac opens the window of his trailer and basically yells at them to stfu. Turns out, everyone is excited over a new member possibly joining the Big Top. And here we find our new buddy, No-Soul. Except he doesn’t have that name just yet. We don’t know his name right now, if he has one. One thing we do know, is that he has a thick Russian accent. He is soon given his name by Isaac. He’s then asked what kind of acts he can do, and he says he can possess people. He demonstrates on our unwilling friend 8-Ball, to which everyone freaks out over. Especially seeing as he basically snapped 8-Ball’s back. Luckily, our mutated pal survived, but did throw up his usual pink-purple goop a lot. Later on, Miggy finds out, and this is where his temper goes flying. He drags 8-Ball to a private conversation, and proceeds to lose it. Turns out, No-Soul is from a place called Zlo, and Miggy happens to have a big grudge against anyone from Zlo. Miggy tells 8-Ball to get No-Soul to leave. 8-Ball breaks the news to No-Soul and Isaac says he’ll guide No-Soul off the property. Since everyone was able to hear Miggy’s snap, Isaac proceeds to rant about how unfair it is that No-Soul has to leave because of Miggy’s grudge. Then, the two decide that No-Soul can sneakily stay in the empty trailer, so they set that up and hang out together. They bond and we learn that Isaac is the big gay for No-Soul. And it looks like No-Soul is the big gay too.

Later on, 8-Ball finds out and teases the hell out of Isaac about it, and also ends up hanging out with him and No-Soul. No-Soul says that the two should make up and try to be friends, so the two sit down and talk about why they don’t like eachother, then come to a truce. No-Soul is very happy about this and they all continue to hang out.

No-Soul also helps 8-Ball with his grief and together they managed to let Queen’s spirit rest.

Now, moving on, we have another new face showing up, Ringo the clown! He had fallen into a coma, but woke up and returned to the circus. Turns out, he was good friends with Giuseppe, Bojanny, and Miggy! There’s a sweet little reunion but unfortunately, Bojanny kicks Isaac out of their shared trailer because Bojanny wants to be roommates with Ringo instead, and he isn’t nice about it. 8-Ball helps Isaac move in with No-Soul and later on, he has a talk with Ringo. 8-Ball mentions how Miggy snapped at him for letting No-Soul join the circus. Ringo goes on to explain that Miggy actually had a brother and the two sort of.. merged when they were born.

This brother’s name is Muggy, and he is a nightmare, I believe. Quite literally. He’s pretty creepy and he’s constantly on the surface of Miggy’s skin, which is the reason Miggy keeps his eyes closed and wears gloves. Ringo then has a conversation with Muggy, telling him that he shouldn’t go losing his temper on the other performers like he did with 8-Ball. For the next while, Ringo hangs out with Miggy all the way up to the festival.

Once the festival arrives, everyone is set to perform and Giuseppe’s favorite actor/cartoon, Looney Leo, shows up hosting for the radio. Giuseppe fanboys and befriends Leo before leaving out of being too nervous to talk to the ‘thousands of fans’ that we’re listening on the radio. He then calms down by talking to Giorgio and goes on to perform. During 8-Ball’s performance, 8-Ball slips into this heavy grief state or Queen starts messing with him or something since this is before Queen is put to rest. 8-Ball passes out for 3 days.

A little later, Bojanny and Ringo decide to do a special performance together. Bojanny rides a unicycle across a tight rope while Ringo sits on his shoulders, juggling knives. Unfortunately, the act goes horribly wrong, and Bojanny slips off the tightrope, causing both him and Ringo to fall. He tries to hold on while Isaac and 8-Ball try to get the mattress underneath the two to cushion the landing but sadly, they just barely don’t move in time, and Bojanny and Ringo plummet to their death. Miggy is taken to court, where he pleads guilty, and gives the Big Time Big Top to 8-Ball.

Now, I’m not entirely sure where this bit fits in but I think it’s somewhere around here???

Anyways, No-Soul had watched Isaac’s performance at the festival and learned that Isaac sometimes wore girly clothes. This goes against a strict rule or something from where No-Soul lived, so he decides to leave. He gets Isaac to meet him, and tells him that he doesn’t feel the same way Isaac does about him. Isaac is obviously heartbroken, and No-Soul leaves, leaving behind a black and red flower. On the brighter side, Isaac ends up with 8-Ball and I love them so much!!

Not too much later, though, Isaac learns that Giuseppe wants to run away. He’s sad because everyone’s been leaving and dying. He’s also sad because 8-Ball kept referring to him as ‘Queen’ and (I can only assume-) not acknowledging him for who he is. Isaac does his best to comfort Giuseppe. 8-Ball soon walks over and finds out that Giuseppe wants to leave and why he’s sad, then does his best to apologize and comfort Giuseppe. Giuseppe sort of falls apart (not really, don’t worry,) and says that he doesn’t like the feelings he’s having and wishes he was dead like Bojanny, Ringo and Queen. Isaac and 8-Ball continue to comfort and take care of Giuseppe until he feels better and they all have this big, adorable group hug that warms my heart.

Then, they all start making plans to work on the Big Time Big Top and put up ‘Help Wanted’ posters to get new employees. The comic ends with a strange man and a dog looking at one of the posters.

A lot of people have been theorizing that this dog is Bojanny- or Bo- since earlier in the comic, when the demon bunny thing takes a short break from possessing Bojanny, he mentions to Ringo that he was thinking about possessing a German shepherd in the area. I honestly don’t know if this has been confirmed but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was true.

And you wanna know something else that’s great about this series??

First of all, it’s made by an incredibly talented artist

but also, you can make your own OC’s and spin-off continuation of the comic!!

I hope you enjoyed this nearly 5 page essay thing!!

(Its 4.6 pages so I guess if you round up, it’s 5)

ALSO NO, I AM NOT READING THIS OVER BECAUSE IM LAZY

@hesitant-ghost @trashfox492

[hyunjins-bebe-blog]

Primadonna Girl - K.W.J. AU

You were a model reaching the peak of your career, when your darling daddy just announced that you’re getting married to Kim Woojin, the heir of his best friend’s company.

Genre: Businessman!AU/Fluff/Some light Angst

Pairing: Woojin x Female Reader

A/N: this is the last chapter guys!!! I’ so incredibly proud of myself,,, i finally finished a freaking story!!! I have so many drafts on my laptop, and i just never seemed to finish any of them, they’re all just one page long, but i never continued. Thank u for ur support in this little thingy that i’ve written, i hope you’ll like the epilogue!!! And the next series i’ll release ((((((; i’ll tell y’all who it’ll be after the next upload. Love y’all! Enjoy this hehehe mwa

Word Count:  1441

Chapter 10/10

You and Woojin were now at the hotel, tired after a long time in the airport, waiting for your flight. The only exciting thing was that both of you were in first class, because of your guys’ status.

You were currently lounging on the hotel bed, reading a brochure from the company you were about to work with. Woojin was at the terrace the room came with, looking over the view of the temple in the distance. It was four in the afternoon, and the sun was close to setting. Your shoot was scheduled at five thirty, and you were weighing the probability of you being late. Mark was scheduled to arrive at the hotel thirty minutes later, failing to catch the same flight with you.

You get up and head to the bathroom, deciding on taking a bath for your skin to get refreshed. It was only twenty minutes and you were falling asleep, when someone knocked on the door. You wake up, attempting to sit up. The bath was full enough to cover your chest, but apparently, it wasn’t enough for Woojin to not freak out.

He poked his head in, eyes widening when he realized you were kind of naked. “What the hell, why are you naked!” he shouted, closing his eyes and leaning on the door. Your muffled voice from the inside shouted about what kind of person you were to bathe with clothes on.

He shook his head, “Anyways, Mark is here, and a manager told me to tell you to be on standby, you’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

With that remark, you rush to get ready, realizing you left your dress (really, all you owned were dresses since putting on two articles of clothing took way too much energy) on the bed. So you just suck it up and put on your underwear, leaving the bathroom with a towel on.

Unsurprisingly, Woojin shrieked again, complaining that you’re breaking the first rule. You roll your eyes and slip on the orange romper, slipping on your sandals before going to Mark’s room.

“Knock knock,” you say, peeking inside the room to see your trusty make up assistant eating an overpriced hamburger he ordered off of room service. His eyes widen as he sees you, making a noise as a greeting as you let yourself in, looking at what the television was playing.

“So, I heard you’re getting married,” he says, putting the meat sandwich down and wiping off the grease surrounding his lips.

You roll your eyes, “Oh Tuan, if you actually put your good looks to use and woo someone, I’m sure you’d win someone over.” You settled on your make-up chair, which he insisted on carrying over to every shoot, just for you guys to be aesthetic. He actually gifted it to you on your sixteenth birthday, and the first time you get paid for something, you bought these pouches that hold makeup to hang at the side of the chair, as well as this fancy black suitcase for all the makeup samples he gets.

Mark rolls his eyes, although four years older than you, you guys acted like best friends since he was there for you from the very beginning. As he gets started on your face, you remember the time when he was still a beginner, experimenting on your face and laughing when you get a pimple from an irritating foundation he put on you.

“Hey,” you begin to say as he puts on eye shadow on you.

He mumbles a ‘what’, concentrating on blending the pigments on your lid.

“Can you be like, walk me down the aisle.” He stops and reels back, looking at you weirdly. You blink open and see him judging you, and you begin to whine.

“Come on! You’re like, my best friend, and yeah i know what you’re gonna say, but you’ve been there for me longer than my dad has been, and you know...” you trail off, failing to make up more excuses. Sure it would be controversial for your dad not to walk you down the aisle, but he didn’t deserve it.

He thinks about it for a moment, before smiling at you fondly. “Fine, I’ll walk you.” He ruffles your hair, making you whine some more.

After finishing your look, the two of you head down to the hotel lobby, meeting up with the manager for her to take you to the venue.

...

The shoot was successful, the photographer taking advantage of the golden hour. The diamonds you wore on your ears shined, along with the highlight on your cheekbones. The bridge you shot in overlooked the ocean, making the scene look so magical, and you were thankful that you were allowed to shoot there. Honestly? You looked bomb af.

You looked like you were dipped in honey, and you were being praised by the different personnel, claiming that after this was published, you would rise to even more success. You were feeling so happy, and you just got even happier when you spotted Woojin.

It was already night time, and the staff allowed you two to take a stroll while they packed up equipment. You were both walking around, swinging your hands back and forth. You ended up back at the bridge, and most of the equipment was cleared. They were now trying to shove them back into the van, playing a dangerous game of tetris.

You enjoyed the night breeze, laying your head on Woojin’s shoulder, his arm snaking around your waist.

“Hey,” he whispered, looking out into the blue.

“Hey.” You whispered back, the wind and the sound of the waves crashing over rocks almost drowning out your voice.

Suddenly, Woojin turns to you. “You did great earlier.”

You smirked, loving the compliment. “I know, you really should be thankful that you’re marrying me. I mean, when will you ever get the chance to spend you whole entire life with someone as gorgeous as me?” Sure you were over confident, but Woojin would have to deal with that, he was stuck with you, after all.

His eyes never leaved yours. “Yeah, you’re probably the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met. Sure you’re a bit bitchy, but we can always work on that,” he chuckled at your expression. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life. These past days have been so much fun, and believe me when I say my life is boring. It’s always work, work, work, and you’ve showed me so much emotion that my black and white world got corrupted with color. I know that with all these going on, I haven’t had the time to properly propose to you, but while you were out here flaunting, I’ve stumbled upon this little antique shop and got you a little something.”

You were speechless. It didn’t cross your mind that you didn’t have an engagement ring, or the fact that Woojin hasn’t proposed to you yet.

He took out a little pouch from his pocket, fumbling over the strings. “I hope you like it. I know it isn’t as fancy and as shiny as all the other rings you’ve worn in your lifetime, but it’s pretty cool, if I do say so myself.”

You laughed as he opened the brown bag, revealing a white gold band with an oval cut diamond right at the center of it. Your eyes widened, realizing how expensive this is, and the fact that it was old...

You let out a tiny little gasp as Woojin got down on one knee. You could hear other gasps too, most likely the crew you worked with.

“So, let’s make this simple, will you make me the happiest man alive, fill my world with color, let me tame you,” at this point you were laughing, full on knowing that those are your father’s words, “Will you marry me? Please?”

His eyes were shining, solely focused on you. You can’t help but let a tear fall as you nod, letting him slip on the ring. It fit perfectly, like it was made to be yours.

“I got a little help from the staff, they let me get your ring size.” Woojin chuckled as he stood up, trapping you in his embrace.

Claps and hollers were heard from far away, and the two of you turn to see Mark jumping up and down wildly, shouting “That’s the girl y’all called arrogant! Look at her now with the man of your dreams!”

You both laughed, looking back at each other, sharing your first kiss. He leaned his forehead onto yours, smiling brightly.

“I could get used to this.”

Epilogue

Masterlist

[lostlegendaerie]

Six Fics of 2016

someone. someone tagged me in this. multiple someones tagged me in this while my PC was broken as shit so fuck. i dont know but i Wanted This, so. originally by @secretlystephaniebrown​ !

So I thought I’d pick 6 fics of mine written during this year, grab a favorite quote from each of them, give a short explanation of why it’s one of my favorites, and then tag 6 people to do the same! Let’s get some self love rolling as we head towards the end of this year!

and yeah i did write other fandoms this year but its like mostly RvB and Entirely in space, so.

6. Save and Restore - York & Delta, canon compliant

“That’s a-- dirty word, D.” A light, airy chuckle follows; one he remembers following an exchange with Carolina years ago. It sounds so much younger than the rest of York’s words, and he realizes he may not have anything more recent. “Better-- clean it off.”

“I… beg your pardon?”

“Nah, it’s free.”

i mean im Mostly so fond of this one because it was how I met @agentyorkdakota​ my moon and stars, but i also really enjoyed just getting to play with language a lot with this? like i’m pretty sure i’ve discussed this before but for a senior year project i worked a lot on a play called The Skriker where the title character kind of... used mixed metaphors and all sorts of jumbled language to communicate and it just. stuck with me. this language that was kind of cobbled together and makes sense but doesn't and yet does? so that was def a highlight of mine working on this fic. (also it placed me in the Angst War, a feather in my cap if there ever was one)

5. blow you like a popsicle stand - Tucker/Wash, canon compliant

He swallows his fear and creeping horror and lifts the lid. Buried under the crystalline ice of the remarkably still-functioning freezer is a collection of brightly colored little packages, all about the size of his hand.

“What.”

“I know!” Tucker replies, with exactly the kind of enthusiasm than ensures Wash he does not know, “I can’t believe it either. Ice cream! Here! On Chorus! Man, Caboose is gonna flip out when he sees this.”

Wash is tired, and adrenaline-tingly, and by this time he should just always expect to be betrayed and disappointed but here he is. He pulled a door out of a crumbling concrete wall for decades old ice cream sandwiches. Couldn’t save the lives of kids under his command, but sure. He can demolish a building in a fit of panic.

“What,” he repeats again, trying to shove all of his feelings into one ambiguous syllable. But Tucker just hip-checks him out of the way, flourishes his sword with a buzz of light, and carves a path through the ice to a red and blue package.

this one was done in a swap for @playerprophet​ (whom i also love and tag in this, there you go) and was just. okay. listen. l i s t e n. if i’m gonna write porn im gonna write specific porn. i’m gonna write mildly kinky porn with new shit y’all aint even knew you liked so someone can find me at a con and tell me to my face “oh yeah you wrote the iceplay fic” and i can be like “y e s” but also i can barely scrub the Feelings out of anything i write, so. SO. this was a pretty lighthearted excuse for Porn and it went over really, really well. so im Happy.

4. Golden Boy - York-centric, semi-canon compliant

Not that York can go back, now; not that there's anything left to go back to, with the entire project turning on itself in a disjointed, cumulative sort of cannibalism as every man, woman, or construct fights for themselves. And he’s not entirely blind to the fact that being wired to Delta on a neurological level makes the Director’s treatment of the AI feel infinitely more personal; makes it easier than it should have been to turn his guns on people he’d worked with for years. No. He’s not blind, not in that sense anyway.

But if he’s going forward, he wants to understand in full what he did in the name of science and progress.

this fic once shared a name with @littlefists​ ‘s epic because it was literally the first thing I wrote in the fandom and I Wasn’t Into Tuckington So I Didn’t Know, and i swear to GOD this is the last time i bring this up but i worked so fucking hard on it, it has Combat and Betrayal and Introspection and World Building and while i’ve gotta better grip on canon now I still really, really enjoyed this fic as an explanation for how York, of all people, could have gone so low in OOM

3. Overflow - Tucker/Wash, canon compliant

His thoughts about Tucker have often felt like a glass of water that’s just a little too full. He moves carefully so they don’t slosh around and make a mess of the place, barely keeping it all inside . And he’d thought that, once the newness of the whole ‘ sure we’ll risk lying to the faces of UNSC police to keep you out of prison even though you’ve done next to nothing nice for us your entire life ’ gratitude thing wore off (it didn’t, not entirely, it still pops up sometimes in the worst of moments and chokes him like the noose he should have gotten) the level would go down.

[...]

Tucker does something to him. Tucker finds ways to make him forget, at least for a little while, all the ways he’s fucked up. Even if it’s just finding more tolerable faults, like how the stick Washington has got shoved up his ass does wonders for keeping his back straight. Tucker talks loud enough to drown out the ghosts of everyone he underranked but outlived, listens enough to make his hard-won experience and advice mean something, and he is terrified for the day that everything overflows.

this was birthday fic for @strangestquiet that i actually took a day off from work to ensure i completed it in time but just. anyway. i’m pretty proud of it because it’s Big and it’s Coherent Mission Fic that managed somehow to tie into a little bit of preexisting lore. i’m also unfortunately very fond of all the little OC children bc i’ve constantly had tons of trouble with original characters and even tho no one else seemed to notice them i had fun and i love them all. but just in general i feel like i had a good balance of humor and feelings and also imagery? but as far as the latter goes it falls short of...

2. gethsemane - implied Shepard/Vakarian, Archangel-centric, game-compliant

On his last trip out of the Citadel, tying off loose ends, he bought a pack of playing cards from a human vendor. He had memories - they’d been fond once, but were souring like milk left in the sun - of losing miserably to Shepard and Williams at some gambling game. Leaving gifts on the graves of the departed wasn’t exactly the norm for turian culture, but neither was it strictly a human one either.

The flowers around the small crystal pillar were already wilting with neglect when he arrived. There might have been other tributes left there, but security had loosened until it fell away, slack like discarded clothes. Garrus left the cards there, under the shimmering list of names of casualties from the attack on the Citadel, and took the next transport ship as far away from Widow as possible.

okay so like. whenever possible i love to put good imagery in fic and like. understate emotions when i can and just in general do the literary version of the color saturated wide shot, you feel me? like the pullback with the characters in silhouette but you can still understand everything they’re feeling? anyway i feel like this fic really nailed a lot of my own personal goals for just Vivid fics. can’t wait to write more mass effect fic but it’s gonna be Hard to meet the standards i set for myself with this one.

1. Throw Away the Key - York/Carolina, Alternate Universe

Carolina fights to find the best angle for her umbrella as gusts of wind swat rain at them in little bursts, but by the time her car gives a satisfying click they’re both uncomfortably wet and she’s run out of things to say. Thankfully, he hasn’t.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” York reflects as he withdraws the metal blade, inch by careful inch. “This is getting a little absurd. Like, bad soulmate romcom Hallmark movie levels of coincidence.”

“Not my fault if you keep breaking the law.” She’s a little surprised by the movie analogy, but decides against teasing him for his choice in films.

“I am bending it, at best.”

listen i’m fucking neck deep in all the complexities of longfic hell and this sure isn’t the artsy stylistic stuff that i can be proud of (or regret) later on down the road but i’m trying. i’m trying to write something massive and happy and so far it’s working. i can’t say for sure if it’s actually Good because i get to see all my messy drafts and stops and starts that the rest of you are spared, but I wanted so badly to write A Good Longfic for the Y/C fandom and with that, at least, I feel like I’m doing well. if nothing else, literally nothing else at all, i am proud of myself for trying this and i hope that it can continue to give people joy long after it’s done and i’m gone.

i’m gonna go ahead and tag @therewithasmile @sinelanguage @lady-of-rohan @flecksofpoppy @owaire and of course @playerprophet but if you’re reading this and wanna do it go right ahead!

[pravasiga]

June 19, 2017 - Wabi-Sabi: (Im)perfection.

Wabi-Sabi: (n.) "the quality of being attractive because of being imperfect in some way...wabi-sabi suggests that we see the flaw as being part of what is charming. Can apply to pots, furniture, houses - and whole lives." Origin: Japanese.

Trigger Warning: Body Image and Expectations

I wasn't sure how to start this post to be frank with you. I spent a few hours aimlessly looking around for a word to inspire me to make sense of a whole collection of experiences that I've felt since I've been here. Perhaps the most personal post I've made in a long time, I realized that in the last few years, I've lost my confidence in writing because as I grew up, so did my insecurities, so did my stress levels, and so did my ability to self-doubt. Part of my journey towards writing again is the willingness to be honest, to go deeper, to go pick at the scars that haven't healed properly.

As evidence by the slew of Instagram photos that I've been spamming you all with, being in India meant a change in what I'm used to wearing. For those of you that go to school with me, you know that I stick to a steady stream of sweaters and sweatpants because quite frankly if I have to suffer at college, I might as well be comfortable and warm while I do it. When I go shopping, I go straight to the larger and plus sizes. I thought I had learned to stop being disappointed at finding few items that fit and learned to seek out alternatives. But in India, where I have had to buy new clothes and adjust to a brand new style, I've had my fair share of struggles with body image, grappling with an age-old insecurity that has only worsened with the years and only has been exacerbated by hurtful comments, overactive paranoia, and the desperate need to prove to myself that I can do and be better. One of the biggest things that this trip has forced me to confront was a personal journey that I had long been avoiding - the burden I have borne my entire life regarding Asian-American, feminine, and personal expectations on body image and size.

But I don't owe anyone the debt of feeling sorry for who I am, and wearing my first sari, an ensemble that asks me to bare a part of my body that I have spent most of my life hiding, gave me a burst of confidence that there is so much that I should not and will not be ashamed of. I thank you, ahead of time, for reading this post, and hope that you recognize that this post is an expression of freeing myself from some of the worst thoughts I've had, in pursuit of self-acceptance and integrating the imperfect into the (I'm)perfect.

*If you would like to talk, if this post triggers you, I am here for you. As much as I can be with this spacey wifi. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- When yet another size XXL kurta (long shirt) barely made it down over my chest, I was prepared to shed a few tears. The straight, narrow cut of the cloth was not made to fit me and in the dim-lit dressing room, I could only stare at my reflection and feel the same old thoughts come back. If only you had actually used your gym membership this year instead of being lazy. If only you could have foregone that McDonald's meal at the airport. If only you could have just, for once in your life, been smaller. Coupled with a time constraint and limited inventory, I was absolutely exasperated with myself. I had to somehow, find enough salwar kameez combinations to make it through the rest of the summer and so far, all I could be absolutely sure of was that my dupatta (scarf) was not going to be a problem. Though I later was to learn that most Indian women would tailor their clothes or alter it in ways to fit, the pain of quite literally, not fitting into, the new culture and society that I was going to engage with, was enormously difficult to bear. Even at 20 years old, having been overweight all my life, I was not immune to the dread of yanking off a clothing item that didn't fit, praying that no seams would rip.

A Chinese-American woman, I learned at a young age that I didn't fit the mold. I grew up seeing skinny women on runways, in my magazines, and TV-shows. I was fortunate to grow up in a family where my grandfather used to touch the skin on my arm and smile proudly, telling me that my yellow skin ('jing huang pi fu', he would say), golden and luminous, was beautiful. My grandparents were always the most insistent that their grandchildren never forgot to appreciate and love their roots, to continue a proud story that had crossed the Pacific Ocean, weathered world wars, and landed in a strange new country. Save for a brief infatuation with Cinderella where I stubbornly stated that I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes because "that was what princesses looked like", I grew up in love with my long, straight black hair, especially when I could brush it until it gleamed. I used to stare in the mirror at my dark brown eyes, trying to discern the exact rich chocolate brown-black shade of my irises. I decided early on that no matter what color they were, they held light and enthusiasm for life. Enveloped in love, emboldened in a household of two tongues - English and the warm embrace of my ancestors' Mandarin - I was raised in love with my Chinese heritage. But with this, I inherited expectations that would prove to be most constant source of my self-esteem issues - I have never been petite, slender, or thin.

I take a second to dodge questions about my health to simply state that regardless of that condition, it has never warranted the kind of overwhelming pressure to have collarbones that could hold rolls of quarters (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Country-goes-wild-new-social-m…) or a waist that could hide behind a sheet of paper (http://www.nbc26.com/…/asian-women-are-pressured-to-be-peti…). I have never felt quite at home within the Chinese-American community because I have never been able to shake the shame of not fitting what I saw as the ideal Chinese-American woman. It is assumed that our bodies are meant to be a certain way and that it is woven into my DNA to be a porcelain doll, slim and well-proportioned.

I come from a family where love is shared in food, love is communicated in asking about health, and love is given by pinching cheeks and unfortunately, openly asking about my body weight. When my family comments on my waist before my college experience or when I get asked questions, I get asked about my SAT, my GPA, my weight, the amount of times I've gone to the gym far before I get asked about my mental well-being and happiness. I grew up understanding that this was how love was shown sometimes, even when it would twist in too-round stomach and curb my appetite. I have grown up always feeling like my answer was never good enough. I have grown up understanding that this was something I had to desperately change, not simply out of concern for my health, but because - what would other people think? "We just don't want other people to make fun of you," relatives would assure me, "You're a beautiful girl, but you should lose weight."

And so it goes.

I scrambled to find kurtas that fit and while I was able to find some, I couldn't lift the feeling of defeat that followed me out of the door of Big Bazaar, onto the van, and back into my hostel room. I had been so excited to go shopping for those loose garments, wrongly guessing that such loose fabrics and clothes would be easier to fit into. Even though many of my team members expressed similar frustration of finding clothes that fit, I tuned it all out, I tried to hold myself above wallowing but I couldn't help but sink in. That night, I ate less than half of what I had been given for dinner. I felt like I could have burst out of my skin every single time food passed my lips.

When we got the chance to buy saris, I tried to put a lid on the excitement. A sari is a long piece of fabric (anywhere from 5 to 9 yards), often beautifully decorated, meant to be wrapped around the body to form a skirt and to drape over the shoulder. (Side note: it is so hard to tie this damn thing, I tried and ended up hopping around the room trying to keep everything in place). We had been invited to the wedding of the son of a local technology company, known for its dedication to employing those with mental disabilities and pushing for similar practices in other companies. But I was focused not appearing lumpy, misshapen, and enormous in my sari. I was most afraid of what my rolls of stomach fat would look like, hanging out of the skirt, or worse, not fitting in at all.

The sari store was stuffed to the brim with gorgeous fabrics and I remember my breath being taken away as I ran my fingers along the ornamentally decorated trims of red, blue, purple, golden - every color of the rainbow - saris. I had long decided to go with a red sari, taking a lesson from my prom dress shopping fiasco that red, in fact was my "power color". I tried sari after sari, and as the women who worked at the store hastily tied and rolled me repeatedly into increasingly beautiful fabrics, I couldn't help but focus on everyone around me, finding their perfect sari. Between indecision and an inability to be satisfied by anything I had seen so far, I began to feel that same sense of dread that I had experienced the week before in the dressing room. I began to feel like a little girl trying to play dress-up, attempting to mimic an imaginary standard that was always meant to be above my grasp. Time was running out and I was among the last people to choose - and of the few I had tried on, I just felt completely out of place in all of them. I begged the women to let me try one more on - a red sari with tear-drop gold embroidery, and a golden-green trim. I reviewed the photos a friend helped take of me, and still couldn't bring myself to love it. But in all honesty, I don't know what I had more difficulty loving - the sari, or myself.

I bought the sari anyways. I didn't have time to find another one and this was the best I had found from the bunch. I kept my negative thoughts deep in my belly, swallowed to prevent them from reaching the surface. I told myself that I would just have to learn to wear it, learn to love it for all the other aspects. The fabric was beautiful - there was no doubt in that. I would have to do my best to fit myself in its folds and present as little trouble to the tailor in the next few weeks.

The week flew. We got fit for the tiny blouses (which were MUCH shorter than I expected) and patiently waited for our first chance to wear our beautiful new garments. In my room, I clumsily tried to imitate what I had learned from the women at store and "tied" my first sari. I have a long way to go. Getting those folds perfectly evenly and crisp much be a superhuman talent, honestly. I have incredible respect for anyone who can do it perfectly.

But of course, this is a blog post with a happy ending. The first time I was properly tied into my sari, with the little red blouse, my hair swept back, and my favorite red lipstick on, I was floored. I had tried pulling my petticoat up as high as I could, to hide as much of the skin that peeked out, a fact that the women helping us tie our saris noticed. They originally had pinned part of the draped fabric to my blouse, to form a curtain over the expanse of waist that I had hidden for so much of my life. Staring in the mirror, turning and feeling the fabric swirl around my feet, I unpinned that little curtain and tucked it back into my skirt. And I gave myself time to appreciate the form in front of me, a force in red, gold, yellow, and black. In that moment, I thought little of the expectations that I had carried on my back all my life. I didn't feel hidden under the beautiful fabric nor did I feel that the sari was wearing me. The body that I had spent so many years of my life berating, squeezing, hiding, was perfectly displayed.

It was a breath of fresh air, it was freedom from a restriction I had long placed on myself. And you damn well know I had to take a million photos to celebrate.

But more importantly, it is a reminder. It is a reminder that for all the comments of my family, I come from a long line of strong, sturdy women. Women whose hands and arms bore equal weight as the men in my lineage, women who were mothers and doctors and businesswomen and accountants and caretakers and brilliant and brave. Never had I once questioned whether they were fantastic role models. Never once have I questioned their beauty, their grace, their strength. So size zero be damned, I know that I may never fit into anything at half of the store I stop by, but what there is of me, I will love, I will cherish, and I will protect. And so should you, you fantastic, incredible, wonderful human being.

Dhanyavada galu (thank you) Ninna gelati (your friend), Winnie

PS: The wedding was also amazing and great and wow so many people I can't believe they just literally let 30 random Americans in at the last second. Congratulations to the bride and groom!

PPS: I learned the hard way how hard it is to pee in a sari and let me just tell you it involves a lot of folding, clutching, and praying.

PPPS: Photo credits to my least-favorite person and kind-of favorite photographer, Anant Sriram because bless that camera and his patience for dealing with my idiocy and basicness.

PPPPS: I love all of you, just the way you are.