#anyway so yeah i guess they brought that up and it seems the goat debate has started again

[adore-gregor]

Yeah whatever but you're still my goat 🐐 either way Gregor 😌

[brutal-nemesis]

Arthropod Day 2021: 🦀Time For Crab 🦀

Malacostraca Moment 😳🦀

So fun story I wanted this to be on a Saturday because SIDEWAYS SATURDAY but when I was deciding on the date I looked at the calendar for July without realizing it. Happy Sideways Stuesday I guess? 

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: drowning mention, animal attack (kinda chill tho it’s not really violent), dehydration, autocannibalism mention, parasitic insects, partial nudity, heckin surgery (but it’s CONSENSUAL (⊙ˍ⊙) who am I), suicide for convenience (immortal)

“This looks like a lovely spot for a vacation; thank you guys so much for finding it for me.” The small dingy had just landed on a sandy beach enclosed by dark rocks on either side, a lush forest leading deeper into the island. Casyts’s captor glared at him before harshly tugging the rope tied to his wrists, trying to get him to stand and step onto the beach with her.

“Shut your trap, Ragnarok, or I might change my mind about gagging you. Now get up or I’ll have my men drag you.” 

Castys sighed and rolled his eyes, getting up and following her so his rope burn didn’t get any worse. “Aye aye, Yvonne.” 

“That’s Captain Veldna to you,” she growled, jerking him forward. He stumbled a bit, but he was able to catch himself before he got sand up his nose. He debated trying to yank the rope out of her hands and running away or stealing the boat, but her very strong men were right behind him and that would probably just end in him having extra bruises. So he just followed her like a stupid little goat as she led him towards the rocks, hoping she wouldn’t leave him tied up so he could at least enjoy his time being stranded. But no, this was about sending a message to his crew or making him suffer or something. He didn’t really remember, he’d been dazed as hell when he’d initially gotten captured during a fight between their two ships. Blood loss was a bitch sometimes.

They forced him to sit with his back against a large rock, yanking his bound hands above his head and worming a large nail through the knotted rope before hammering it into the rock. “Not gonna lie, this seems a little extra. I’m not going to go anywhere, so, like, just let me-” Yvonne slapped him harshly across the face.

“You’re not here to have fun, you annoying little parrot.” She looked over at her men, who had just finished tying his ankles together and nailing them down in a similar fashion to his wrists. “If you lot are done, let’s leave.” She turned back to Castys, a wicked grin on her face. “I wonder how many times you’ll die before your crew finds you?”

“My money’s on eight. Do you want me to keep track and tell you next time we see each other? If only I could write in a diary what horrors I suffer sitting on this warm rock that you tied me to during high tide so I won’t even drown later. Now that-agh!” Yvonne stabbed him in the stomach, and Castys bit back a scream as she twisted her blade. 

“The sound of your silence is something I could get used to.”

“Well, the real question is, is silence actually a sound-” Castys’s very valid observation was cut off by the bitch yanking out her sword and promptly kicking him in the stomach. He couldn’t help but cry out, doubling over as far as he could. Yeah, yeah he should probably just shut the fuck up and let them get on their merry way before he got more unnecessary injuries. 

“Enjoy your vacation, Ragnarok,” Yvonne spat. As one last gesture of maturity, she kicked sand at him before walking off, and some of it definitely got in his stab hole, so that was nice. He watched them row away, sighing. Now it was just boredom city, but hey, at least he had a nice beach view. The sun was a few hours away from setting, not that it mattered that much since his skin was dark enough that he probably wasn’t going to get sunburned. 

Being tied to a rock on the beach was...just about as boring as he expected. His arms got all tingly after a while from being stuck above his head, so he couldn’t even properly relax, and a man could only watch little waves roll for so long. He had a nice view of the setting sun, and hey, that means the light of dawn wouldn’t be shining in his face. While the sun was still a little ways above the horizon, he heard an odd rustling noise over in the vegetation, different from the background sounds he had gotten used to. He looked over, hoping it was a friendly man with a knife.

It was not a friendly man with a knife. But it wasn’t something bad, either. “Oh shit hello crabs!” Castys watched as they scuttled out of the treeline onto the beach, glad to have something fun to watch. One of them was slowly making its way towards him, and Castys wondered if he would be able to convince it to snip his bindings. “Hey there mister crab man, come on down, and please for the love of god untie me.” Yes, yes he was talking to a crab, because why not go full send on the insanity right away? It would be so much more fun, and it’s not like anyone else was here to judge him. “Yeah crab get in my zone-wow you’re kinda big.” He’d thought the crab was closer to him, but nope, it had been farther away but giant. Not like giant giant but not, like, normal crab size. It was almost as big as his torso maybe, but he was never great at estimating the relative sizes of things. 

“You’re large but you’re a gentleman, ain’t ya? I don’t know why, but you just seem like a polite fellow.” The crab stopped not too far from Castys and just looked at him blankly. Or maybe it was making a face at him, but he couldn’t read crab body language. Could anyone read crab body language? Crabs, he would hope. “Could you bring me some tea, good sir? Or just...water. Water that’s not salty. I don’t actually like tea it literally tastes like nothing but you know what I would drink it now because I am thirsty.” There was a moment of silence. “Not like thirsty in the weird way some people are. I have no idea what that’s about. But like, I want water. Or...oh my god, Mr. Crab, bring me a coconut!” Castys closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “Yeah… that would be nice. Food and water and it’s prepackaged and I don’t know how I would eat it because my hands are tied but I’ll figure it out.”

A sudden sharp pinch against his wound jolted Castys out of his daydream. He looked down in horror to see that the crab was holding something in its claws. Something pinkish-red that was dripping blood down onto the sand. The bastard. The crab brought the piece of his flesh to its mouth and just ate it while staring right at Castys. “That,” he blinked in surprise a few times, “was incredibly rude.” The crab stayed still, watching him as it did its weird mouth movements that were maybe chewing. “You are absolutely not a gentleman. I rescind everything. You little garbage boy. Rapscallion. I bet you never get invited to the crab raves.”

And the crab. Had the audacity. To reach out its stupid pincher. And do it again. “Little bitch!” Castys yelled, squirming against the ropes in an attempt to scare the thing off. Shockingly, it did not work, because wounded, dying prey squirmed all the time, and...that’s pretty much what Castys was in this scenario, wasn’t he? He was just stuck sitting here while that stupid crab ripped off little pieces of him with its stupid crab pincher and put them in its stupid crab mouth. If he was lucky, this would make him bleed out and die faster and then he wouldn’t have an open wound anymore, which would be a bonus. Though, it had sand in it, and then if it healed…

A problem for another day.

Not the next day, though, or the one after, because, hooray, he was still tied to a rock, so even though he did die a few hours later, he couldn’t do anything about the Sand In His Insides. He made up a song about it, but singing it loudly did absolutely nothing to scare away the crab, whom he had named Crabstard (Crab Bastard). Crabstard seemed to think Castys was his new best friend, coming back regularly for meals. Castys liked to imagine killing and eating Crabstard as a show of dominance, but that made him wonder...would eating Crabstard be a form of autocannibalism? Because Crabstard had eaten him...

He wasn’t sure what was worse, Crabstard and his stupid giant pinchers, or the mosquitoes. There weren’t a ton of them, but their bites were just awful, littering his arms and legs with swollen, white boils, which were unusual and also very concerning but what the fuck could he do about it. Because of course he couldn’t scratch them, and they itched so much it hurt and he just had to endure it. Just like he had to endure fucking everything. The heat of the sun, the awful tingling in his arms, the soreness of his wrists, Crabstard pinching off bits of his flesh, the maddening pain and itch of all his bug bites, the hunger and thirst, the boredom, and the...the loneliness.

No, he was fine, he was fine with just himself, it was always just him anyway. He wasn’t imagining his crew rowing to shore and untying him and tending to him in his cold, dark cabin, because he couldn’t get his hopes up, because they probably weren’t even coming for him. They were just going to leave him behind like everyone else and fuck he was wasting water like a useless idiot and he couldn’t stop or even wipe them away and he probably deserved this for everything he’d done so what did it matter?

And, great, the next day he started hallucinating a passing ship and a rowboat coming for him. Thank you, dehydrated whore brain! Let’s get our stupid little hopes up! Dang, the people on the boat kind of even looked like some of his crewmates, which was rude of his brain to make this so realistic looking.

It wasn’t until his first mate, Kaveri, was untying him that Castys realized that this was real, that they’d really...really come for him. “I’m so glad we found you, Captain.” She pulled him into a hug as soon as he was free, and he hugged her back as best he could with his sore arms. 

“I’m glad y’all did, too.” He leaned back when she let go and looked down at himself, wincing. “Well, before we get back to the ship, I am going to deliver a much needed death upon mys-“

“Captain, Captain, wait,” the ship’s medic, Sixtus, called as he ran over. He knelt beside Castys, taking his arm and examining the bug bites closely. “I knew it. These bites all over you are...they contain fly larvae. We’re going to need to dig them out before you heal yourself.”

“...what if I’ve died since I’ve gotten bitten. Like, earlier.”

“Well.” Sixtus breathed in sharply. “We will just have to wait for them to, uh, let us know where they are.” He sighed. “For now, let’s get you back to the ship and I’ll get out the ones I can. I don’t have the tools for it with me.”

“Can I kill Crabstard first?”

“Crab...stard?” Kaveri gave him a concerned look, and Sixtus felt his forehead.

“He’s a very impolite giant crab. He is my rival. I wish to vanquish him.” The other two shared a look.

“Do you know where this...this crab is?” Sixtus tried.

Castys held up a finger and opened his mouth, pausing for a second before shutting it and blinking a few times. “I. I do not. He just scuttles out of the trees to commit crimes every now and then. He has no friends.”

“Alright, in that case, no. You’re in no condition to wander around the island looking for a crab.” Sixtus held out his hand. “So, come on.”

“Fiiiine,” Castys groaned, letting the taller man help him to his feet. He was a little unsteady, but he was able to make it to the boat with Kaveri’s help. As they rowed away, he turned back to the island one last time, cupping his hands around his mouth as he yelled, “Fuck you Crabstard I hope you starve and die in a pit and the other crabs eat you!” 

Once they made it back to the ship, Sixtus ushered Castys into his office, instructing him to sit up on the examination table and take his shirt and pants off. Kaveri helped him, opting to stay in case Sixtus needed a hand. He examined Castys thoroughly, using a lightstone to get a good look at the swollen bug bites littering his body as well as the number of small wounds in his side.

“These from the, uh, crab?” Sixtus asked as he gestured to them.

“Yup. Him and his stupid pinchers.”

“Alright, I know you don’t really get infections, but I’m going to clean these out just to be safe.” He paused. “Also it just feels. Really wrong not to. It’ll bother me if I don’t.”

“Do whatever, doctor man.” Castys did his best not to let his pain show as Sixtus dabbed at his wounds with a stingy liquid. It really didn’t hurt that much, but when Kaveri placed her hand on top of his as he gripped the edge of the table, he didn’t wave her off. He’d let it be Fuss Over The Captain Day. For their sake. Because they seem to have been worried about him. 

“Alright, I’m all done with that, so if you could lay down, Captain, I’ll get started with removing those larvae. Kaveri, get him some rum and then hold him down.” She nodded, leaving and returning soon after with a small cup.

“You know, I haven’t had water in days,” Castys mused before winking at her and downing its contents. Kaveri shook her head.

“You literally emptied my waterskin while we were rowing back.”

“Oh dang, I forgot. Nevermind I’m actually not funny and am just stupid.” He scooted a bit and laid down with his hands behind his head. “Get rid of my worms.”

“They’re not-they’re not worms, Captain, they’re insects, since-” Sixtus stopped himself, folding his hands in front of his mouth. “Nevermind.” He cleared his throat. “Arms at your sides, please. Kaveri, if you would.” She nodded, holding down his shoulders as Sixtus turned Castys’s arm, locating the first larva he was going to remove. Castys breathed in sharply as the knife sliced into his arm, doing his best to keep still as Sixtus slid a pair of tweezers into the wound. The rum dulled his senses enough that it didn’t hurt as much as it could, but it certainly wasn’t painless, and he couldn’t help but gasp as Sixtus slowly pulled a small, wriggling grub out of the incision. He dropped it in a metal tray, cleaned the wound, and picked up his knife.

Then the process started all over again.

Castys didn’t bother counting how many times those tweezers probed around inside him, how many wet little plops he heard as another larva dropped into the tray. He focused on staying still, on the prickle of the rough wood table against his bare back, on the feeling of Kaveri’s hands on his shoulders, more comforting than restraining. They reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his suffering, for once. But he wasn’t supposed to need comfort, he was their immortal captain, the one who’d been through everything before and was strong enough to go through it again, the one his crew could always depend on to be strong. And here he was, teeth gritted against the pain, his forehead resting against Kaveri’s arm, fists clenched to mask their shaking, all over a few cuts and some little maggots.

“Alright,” Sixtus wiped his brow with the back of his hand, “I think that’s all of ‘em. That I can see, at least.” He looked down at Castys. “You had seventeen of those things in you, Captain.” He grimaced. “And possibly more, so please let me know if you feel anything, uh, wiggling. But for now, you’re free to...die.”

“Can’t believe I got a new world record for worm friends.” Castys grabbed the small leather pouch that usually hung around his neck from his pile of clothes, pulling it open.

“They’re not worms-”

“Thank you, Sixtus.” With that, Castys stuck his finger in the pouch and touched his death stone. He came back to life feeling infinitely better, but Kaveri and Sixtus still insisted he rest after he cleaned himself up. He grumbled, but he let Kaveri force him into his bed and bring him something to eat. Once he was finished, she collected his plate and stood awkwardly by his bedside.

“Do...do you want me to come back, Castys? Will you be alright?”

“Look, I’m honestly fine, you’re good. I’ve been through a lot worse, and I’m all healed up now so it doesn’t really matter.” 

She pursed her lips. “I suppose, but that doesn’t mean that that didn’t still take a mental toll on you, and…” she sighed. “Just...call me if you need anything, alright?”

“Will do.” She nodded, but as she started to walk away, Castys realized there was something he’d rather not leave unsaid. “Wait, Kaveri?”

“Yes?”

“Th...thank you. For, uh, finding me.”

“Of course, Castys. We’ll always be there for you.” Castys opened his mouth to reply, but he stopped himself and just smiled and nodded, his shoulders only falling once she’d left.

He wished that were true.

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump​ @starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words​ @misspelledwitch

[dadsbongos]

Insert Coin - Chapter 3 / Series Masterlist

Sunlight streamed down through puckered clouds, sky bathing in golden backdrop and splattering against the rocky hilltop below. Peko stared straight ahead as the marching came closer and closer until she was surrounded by the source. Robots upon robots upon robots aligned in layers of circles around her, the Ultimate Swordswoman.

Without her permission, an arm raised - her gut twisting at the knowledge that yes, now she was a tool, but it wasn’t for him. Young Master.

Rushing forward, Peko cut through one of the robots with what she’d sworn was a bamboo sword.

Robot after robot fell by her hand.

Countless had crumbled and yet there were still so many left.

Creaking rumbled behind her. Before she could register the blond hair and midnight dark suit, she’d already swung. Cutting through her foe… and Young Master.

Holding his fragile self to her body, Peko cooed and murmured sweet nothings to her Young Master. The robots stumbled forward closer and closer and closer. There was a split pain darting through her back and stomach, blood guzzling as more and more bots enclosed her and Young Master.

Opening her eyes once again, Peko looked into the blinking, blaring red eyes of one of the robots. Its sword rose high, high, higher above its metallic head before coming back down on hers in one clean strike.

“Agh!”

(Y/n) shot up from her bed, gripping the fabric of her sleepshirt in terror, cold sweat drooling over her slick skin. Eyes wide in fear and heart racing.

Nightmare.

It was only a nightmare.

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) was struck with the illusion of Mahiru, slumped against the teal door with the back of her head smashed in. Vibrant pink staining her clothes and clumping in her hair.

Her ears rung and in the background, she could hear the wails and broken sobs of Hiyoko. She could feel the snag of hands pulling desperately at her skin, drawing marks over her body with no care.

She slammed her eyes open, hands coming up over her ears to hide the sound of broken cries.

Until there was a knock at the door, her eyes fell from the door to its lock - finding momentary comfort in that it was, in fact, locked. Her legs shook as she stood, debating on whether or not to answer. It was a few moments later, and after a few more rounds of knocking that she decided yes, she’d open it. Her talent was useless anyway, if she got killed nobody would suffer.

On the other side was Nagito, and peeking past his shoulder, (Y/n) saw that the sun was just kissing the horizon with its fiery, blaring passion. His smile was faint, “I know scum like me shouldn’t pop up out of nowhere, especially so early, but you seemed pretty wrecked after that trial.”

“Don’t call yourself scum,” (Y/n) tiredly protested before pulling Nagito inside by his jacket collar, “But yes, I could use the company.”

“Did I interrupt you?” the boy asked, clearly uneasy about walking into his classmate’s cottage, “I really am complete, irredeemable trash, aren’t I?”

“Nagito,” (Y/n) huffed, forcing the sickly skinny teenager to sit on her bed, taking his head between her hands affectionately, “you’re not trash. You’re my friend. You came to check on me, it was a nice gesture. The morning announcement will probably be going off sometime soon anyway.”

“Are you sure?” he almost seemed like a puppy at that moment. So desperate to be told he’d done well - for a person so bent on being nothing, he definitely desired to hear otherwise. Eyes shining up at the girl holding him so tenderly.

“I’m absolutely sure,” she confirmed, brows furrowing in confusion shortly thereafter, hands rising from his cheeks to his forehead, “You feel a little warm, are you okay?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he waved off, “Though my throat’s been a little drier than I’d care for. And it’s been harder to breathe.”

“Since when?!” (Y/n) immediately pulled back to grab one of the water bottles Hajime had randomly given her, “Here, you should be staying hydrated.”

“Just upon waking up,” Nagito avoided the girl’s eyes as he uncapped the water, “I’d had some trouble sleeping… coughing kept me up,” he chuckled lightly at the girl’s evident concern, “Ah, to think, such a beautiful ray of hope - all worried over garbage. It’s almost sweet, if only it weren’t me you were worried about.”

“Of course, I’m worried, we’re friends, remember?”

“Oh,” he muttered, sipping at the water before recapping it, “you meant that.”

“Obviously!” she exclaimed, exasperated with the sick student, “Why would I lie about that?”

“To be nice, that was my guess, you are the Ultimate Peacekeeper. Saying things to make people happy is your talent,” Nagito shrugged off, as if having no friends was normal for him.

And at that thought, (Y/n)’s heart sunk a little further for Nagito Komaeda.

“It is, but I’m not just saying that,” she sat beside him, grabbing his hand when he moved to pull away - not thinking himself worthy to be close to an Ultimate, “Nagito Komaeda, we’re friends, and I mean that. If you really don't want to be, then fine, but don't run out of fear that I secretly don't care - because I always will.”

“I couldn’t run from you, and it’s not just my new sickness,” he sighed wistfully, “How unlucky, I get to be on a beautiful island surrounded by Ultimates but then I get sick.”

His luck cycles. Right. She’d nearly forgotten of those. Nearly.

“Good morning, everyone! Looks like today is gonna be another perfect, tropical day!”

“Not-so-perfect with you out of commission,” (Y/n) brushed back some of Nagito’s hair as he drank more water, feeling how much warmer he’d already gotten since she last checked, “Poor thing.”

Shaking his head, Nagito gave her a gentle smile, “It really isn’t much. Please, don’t waste precious space in your brain on me.”

“I’ll waste as much space as I want, now c’mon,” (Y/n) stood, dragging Nagito up with the hand locked in hers, “I bet the pharmacy has something for you.”

“There’s really no need- "

“Hey now, we’re going to the pharmacy,” at the harshness of her own tone, (Y/n) sighed before tacking on a quick, “Is that okay? Can you agree to at least go to the pharmacy with me?”

“I…” Nagito paused, eyes shifting to his feet before closing completely, “Yeah, I can agree to that. It’s the least I could do for an Ultimate.”

“Thank you,” she nodded, shaking their hands together slightly before heading out of her cottage and into the tropical sunlight so typical of Jabberwock island.

Walking past the dining hall the group typically met in, the pair crossed over the large wooden bridge to the pharmacy, catching Mikan gingerly flipping over bottles of antiseptic in her hands. Hands that weren’t shaking. She appeared so… at ease. At home. Calm with the medical supplies stacked in shelves around her - though that was to be expected, it was her talent after all. It was only when people, two people at this exact moment, came in that her fidgeting and flutters returned.

“No need to panic,” (Y/n) reassured, waving off the nurse’s squeals of anxiousness, “We’re just here for medicine, Nagito seems to have caught something.”

Tears buzzed at Mikan’s eyes, hands coming up to block her face as if Nagito and (Y/n) were about to begin beating her for merely existing, “H-how ter-terrible…”

“Please, please,” Nagito sighed lightly, waving a hand dismissively at the nurse’s tears, “Don’t mind trash like me. It won’t make a difference if I drop dead.”

“It will make a difference,” the peacekeeper insisted, grabbing at daytime and nighttime cough syrup before turning to Mikan, “Do we use our Monocoins to pay for these or no?”

“Our- our w-what?”

“Nevermind, it was silly,” (Y/n) giggled, waving at the nurse as she left with Nagito and handing the bottles to the boy, “Here; I’ll go out on a limb and say you know how to take medicine?”

“Luckily for us, I do… well, luckily for you anyway,” he pocketed the bottles, “Thankfully I don’t have to burden an Ultimate with my problems.”

“You wouldn’t be a burden by asking me to help you take medicine, I’d be happy to help.”

Walking into the dining hall, the pair were struck with the odd sight. Posterboard akin to something at a science fair covered in photos of and taken by Mahiru with candles surrounding the shrine, goat skulls lining over the top.

“Hiyoko built it,” Hajime murmured, glaring at Nagito as he approached the girl, “I wouldn’t bring it up, she’s still reeling.”

“Avoiding and chastising her for it will make things worse,” (Y/n) shook her head before siding herself with Hiyoko, “It’s lovely. Mahiru would’ve loved it.”

Shaking off his earlier nerves about it, Hajime went to the blond’s other side before, rather awkwardly, trying his hand at comforting the dancer, “Yeah, what better way to remember her than photos?”

There was no reaction, simply blank staring - shock, despair, neither were sure - from Hiyoko at her two classmates. Her brows furrowed and as she opened her mouth, another voice cut in,

“Guys… I’m sorry…”

Fuyuhiko stood there. Eyepatch over his right eye, but other than that, thankfully, he appeared fine.

(Y/n) shook her head, “It’s okay, Fuyuhiko. We’re just glad you’re up and awake now.”

“Who agreed to that?!” Hiyoko burst out, tears already streaming down her reddened face as she pointed to the other short blond, “If it wasn’t for you, she’d still be here!”

“Hiyoko,” (Y/n) placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, “I know you’re upset, and for good reason, but we can’t turn on each other. Mahiru wouldn’t want us to split apart because of this - we should be living in harmony to honor her, not fighting,” the dancer relented, eyes clenching shut and still letting out tears. (Y/n) brought the girl into her side, holding Hiyoko tightly in what she hoped was a comforting embrace before turning to Fuyuhiko, “And you.”

Hajime flinched slightly at the stony tone suddenly donned by the peacekeeper when she referred to the gangster.

“Don’t go doing something like that again, you hear me?” (Y/n) huffed, “I get what you were trying to do but we almost lost three people in one day. Mahiru and Peko were painful enough, we can’t lose anyone else.”

Fuyuhiko’s brows furrowed, cheeks filling rouge, “Whatever, you all were doing fine without me anyway,” his shoulders drooped as he turned, voice quieting, “You don’t need me.”

“Good riddance,” Hiyoko stubbornly muttered into (Y/n)’s shirt.

Eyes dancing across the worried faces of her remaining friends, Ibuki suddenly piped up, startling everyone in the dining hall, “Ibuki can fix this!”

Unamused by the girl’s rambunctious yelling so early, Hajime merely tilted his head, “How so?”

“Just be on the lookout for something from me later!” the rocker called out as she ran out of the dining hall.

“I’m sure she’ll figure something out,” (Y/n) mumbled, still holding Hiyoko as the girl clung to her, “It’s Ibuki’s thing to be cheerful, right? She can help.”

She can help...

[fromcrossroadstoking]

Luz and the Bug Out

Part 9 of Welcome to the 5061st!

(By the way - the two jokes that Roe tells Luz at the end? He definitely got them from Spina.)

Tags: @gottapenny @itisjustmethistime @indigosandviolets @scarecrowmax 

-------------

November 23rd, 0600

There are 4 important things to remember when you're part of a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital;

1. It's a hospital

2. It's mobile

3. The mobile part makes the hospital part a bit complicated

4. The hospital part makes the mobile part a pain in the ass

Luz wasn't too fond of any of the above parts, but he particularly hated the mobile part. Bug outs were nothing but a waking nightmare as far as Luz was concerned. Tearing everything down, packing it up, trying to keep track of everything, transporting it to a new spot, and setting it all up again - it all sucked. And it all had to be done quickly because, well, see #1 above.

Luz did, however, count it a silent blessing that at least this bug out was happening on a cool November day. Although he was still working up a decent sweat (ok, maybe it was more than decent), at least it wasn't anything like a bug out in the middle of summer.

"George, no offense, but this sucks"

"Yeah, I know Perco, I know."

Frank Perconte had just arrived a the 5061st and it was his first bug out. He was, so far, not having a good time.

"I mean, why the hell we gotta move anyway? The line didn't move that much. Ain`t like we`re gonna be that much further behind it if we stayed put."

"Jesus Christ, Perco. Quit crying and help me with these damn boxes," Luz shoved an overfull box at Perco, "And for the five hundredth time, we`re moving because we`re supposed to be no more than twenty miles behind the line. The line moved up, so now we move up." With that, Luz shoved through the door with another heavy armful.

Perconte huffed and followed Luz out to the truck to load up more boxes.

November 23rd, 0800

Despite the sweat dripping in his eyes, Luz managed to catch sight of Roe walking by with a crate of supplies. Hopping off the ladder he was precariously perched on to try and get some wires down, he did his best to catch up to Roe while seeming casual about it.

"Hey, Gene! Wanna hear a joke?"

Roe slowed his pace a bit and smiled over at Luz, "Sure, whatchya got?"

"Ok, so it`s, uh, like a joke riddle thing and you get two clues. Ready?"

Roe nodded, bemused, "Mhmm."

"How did the turtle cross the freeway?"

"It was closed for construction and he walked?"

"Jesus - no, Gene. You want your first clue or not?"

"Alright, alright. What`s the clue?"

"Well, you got the word free, right? Well, take the 'r' from free and what do you have?"

"Fee."

"You got it! Alright second clue, ready?"

"Uh huh."

"You got the word way, right? Now take the 'f' from way..." Roe`s brow furrowed in confusion, "There`s no 'f' in - " 

Realization hit Roe mid-sentence.

"Goddammit, George," Roe tried to look exasperated but he couldn't stifle the burst of laughter.

November 23rd, 0900

The animals were the last thing that Luz packed up. He liked to make sure that they weren`t crammed behind a bunch of boxes and that they were out of the trucks as soon as possible once they arrived at their destination. In total there was one goat (Radar - official MASH mascot), one turtle (Albert), one hamster (Butterball), and of course, Scruffy the bunny. Scruffy was Luz`s favorite pet. What wasn`t to love about the soft fur and floppy ears and beady little eyes?

Luz cooed at the animals as he loaded them up. Radar went in the back of one of the trucks carrying personnel. Sisk promised to personally take care of Radar on the ride to their new base. Albert, Butterball, and Scruffy went in to homemade cages (Luz`s own handiwork) and placed in the back of a supply truck that was only about half full.

Once the animals were situated, Luz hopped behind the wheel of one of the trucks, ready to go. To his surprise, just as the line of trucks was about to move out, the passenger side door opened. A pale, dark haired man shoved over some of the stuff that crowded the passenger seat and squished himself in to the cab of the truck.

Luz blinked rapidly, "Gene?"

"Mind if I keep ya company?"

Luz smiled from ear to ear, "Not at all."

November 23rd, 1015

Admittedly, Luz was a bit disappointed when they reached their destination and Roe left. Luz knew he was being dumb about it - Roe, after all, had his own stuff to unpack and a hospital to help reassemble. But still, Luz couldn't help but feel his heart sink a bit as he watched Roe walk away.

"You always makin' cow eyes at him or what?"

"Shut up, Perco."

"I`m serious! I need to know if I should carry around a mop to clean up all the damn drool."

Luz shot a shut-the-fuck-up-now-or-else look over at Perconte who, if the giant shit eating grin was any indication, was fully unfazed.

"Perco, I will kick your ass."

November 23rd, 1020

Luz could feel his chest tighten as he searched the back of the truck frantically.

No, no, no.

Radar, Albert, and Butterball had made the journey safely. Scruffy was MIA. Upon inspection of the cage that had housed Scruffy, the latch appeared to have broken during the move.

Luz couldn't find Scruffy anywhere in the truck. Who knows when the latch broke. Scruffy could have jumped out at any time. He could be anywhere at this point.  

Luz could feel his heart breaking. 

November 23rd, 1100

Luz hated unpacking even more than packing. Setting everything up again was a massive pain in the ass. This time, however, he merely went through the motions - no jokes, no complaining, barely any talking at all.

November 23rd, 1800

Luz`s misery followed him to dinner.

"Jesus, George, it was just a bunny. How long you gonna mope about it?"

"Not now, Perco."

"Yes, now. Besides, maybe he`ll manage to hop his furry little ass here. Ya never know."

Liebgott decided to add in his two cents from where he sat next to Perconte, "Just get another one."

"I liked that one."

Liebgott shrugged and Perconte shook his head, both at a loss for what to do now. So they ate in silence

November 23rd, 1300

Luz laid in his cot, trying his best to fall asleep. By all rights after the bug out, he should have been out like a light, but instead he laid there, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours.

He wasn't sure how to explain to the others what his pets meant to him. Wasn't sure how to explain that he grew up in a house full of kids and pets - a house constantly filled with happiness and noise. Wasn't sure how to explain that his pets reminded him of that. Wasn't sure how to explain the comfort they brought him, especially on the bad days. And he especially wasn't sure how to explain that Scruffy looked almost exactly like the bunny his mom had, and had adored, right before she passed away.

Luz was at a loss for words.

November 24th, 0730

Luz was busy reorganizing the papers that had been mixed up during the bug out (he made a mental note to thank Perconte for that later) when a familiar face appeared in front of his desk.

"George," Roe offered a small smile and nod before holding out a Hershey bar, "I know it ain`t Scruffy and it ain`t much but it`s all I got right now."

A ghost of a smile passed across Luz`s face as he accepted the Hershey bar, "Thanks, Gene."

"Oh an' one more thing, what`s the best thing about Switzerland?"

"Uhhh," Luz racked his brain but wasn`t sure where Roe was going with this, "I don`t know."

"Me neither. But the flag is a big plus."

Luz snorted, "Gene, did you actually tell a joke?" A smile started to form on Luz`s face, "You got anymore?"

"Sure do. What do you call an Army noodle?"

"What?"

"An impasta."

Luz let out a short laugh that settled into an actual smile which, unfortunately, didn't last long as the sound of choppers filled the air.

"Guess, I gotta go," Roe excused himself and began to leave but paused in the doorway, turning to look at Luz, "Poker tonight?"

"Yeah, sure, see you then."

They shared a small smile before Roe turned and left.

After Roe was gone, Luz sat at his desk, turning the chocolate bar over in his hands, debating whether to eat it now or later. He was still sad of course, but somehow he felt a little lighter.

[returningwriter]

A Night at Kara’s

Sequel to A Night at Lena’s and A Night at the Lux

Kara takes Lena on that date she promised her at the start of this story. Of course, they head back to Lux.

Lucifer cameo in this story and it sort of replaces that date scene in season 5 of Supergirl, the Supercorp fans know which one

Food a cooking, check. The cute pink dress on, that she knew Lena liked looking at her in, check. Any emergencies requiring Supergirl's immediate attention within a five-hundred-mile radius? Nope! Working down her mental checklist, Kara darted around her apartment with a huge smile on her face. This would be her first official date with Lena but counting their unofficial platonic ones it was more like their thirty-second date. The plan was to start with dinner at her place, then take the raven-haired cutie to the movies, followed by a quick hop over to L.A. for some dancing at Lux. They had to keep things fairly low-key, Lena was still a Luthor and a public figure and this was still new for the both of them.

Checking the time, she sniffed the lasagna cooking in the oven, quickly re-tossed the kale-salad and then decanted the bottle of wine that Kate had promised her would loosen Lena up something fierce. Having a sister and a friend who were both out had made things a bit easier, but Alex and Kate were giving her conflicting information, to say the least. Alex advocated for taking things slow and not rush into anything. Ha! If her sister only knew! Meanwhile, Kate was more aggressive with her more R-rated, no X-rated, suggestions but that was more out of playfulness than anything else. What she was sure of, however, was that this was totally worth sacrificing game night for.

Plus, she felt like rushing a bit, three years of wasted time was long enough and the week since staying the night at Lena’s apartment had gone by agonizingly slow. Sure, the world having been turned upside down after the Crisis didn’t help matters and working with Lex Luthor put her teeth on edge since she wanted to kick him into the Sun. But none of that was going to get in the way of her dating the freaking heck out of Lena Luthor. Dating a woman, it felt weird to think it let alone say it, but here she was getting ready to do just that and it made her happy. That closet had really been dusty and boring anyways.

Coming out, however, had been a bit anticlimactic. With people’s reactions ranging from a chorus of ‘fucking duhs’ to a deafening roar of ‘its about times’ and then to the simple statements of good for you dear. Clark had surprised her the most with a simple question of: Does she make you happy?

It was clear, that all those looks between her and Lena hadn’t gone unnoticed it would seem and in the words of Eliza, she always did have the worst luck with men so what was the harm in dating Lena. In the end, she’d settled on calling herself pan-sexual, simply because that’s how things had been on Krypton and despite thirsting after Lena for the woman’s beauty, it was her mind that she loved the most.

In contrast to her coming out, Kate, well Batwoman since Kate was the most 'out' person she knew, coming out as a lesbian had sent shockwaves through the world. To the extent, that it had her debating if she should do the same as Supergirl. Again, checking the time on the oven, she decided to give her friend in Gotham a quick call. Both to suggest that idea and she needed moral support with something that had been bugging her since leaving the mythical closet which had been very empty of both talking lions and goat-men on top of being dusty.

“Don’t you have a date with your crush tonight, Sunshine?” Kate asked the moment she answered, and Kara smiled as she leaned against the kitchen island.

“Soon, I’m calling because I was thinking about that interview I did with you,” she said with a smile and a laugh because it felt awesome being asked that.

“No,” Kate answered right away before she could even go into the further details of her plan.

“I haven’t even asked you anything yet!” she exclaimed, and she had to give it to her new friend, the woman was smart.

“No, you don’t need to come out as Supergirl in solidarity with me. Take your time and get comfortable in your own skin first,” the World’s Finest friend told her and that gave her pause.

“Feels weird though, Supergirl should be out since I'm out, right? And I saw the news from Gotham it's stupid they're refusing your help based on that interview,” she admitted, wanting to jump into things was her thing and keeping secrets never ended well.

“I think it’s… sweet, that you’d do that for me so soon after figuring yourself out, but really there is no rush and I can handle one dumb police chief,” Kate assured her and she pursed her lips even though hearing the Dark Lady of Gotham use the word sweet was all kinds of strange.

“Plus, you’re an alien, pretty sure human social constructs don’t matter to Supergirl, right?” her friend went on and now she was chewing on her bottom lip thinking.

“I guess it hasn’t been that long, Kate… when did you know?” she asked and tossed the kale salad again for good measure.

“About myself or about you?” her friend asked with laughter in her voice and she was thankful that the Crisis had brought them together.

“Both, I guess,” she admitted and walked over to the table set for two, fixing the tablecloth and straightening the cutlery.

“I’ve known since I was about thirteen, and with you, it was kinda obvious when you talked about Lena for the first time and well you did X-ray me to check out my tats,” Kate replied with a slight chuckle.

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?” she asked with a bit of hesitation in her voice as she fixed the chairs again and trying not to think about those tattoos too hard.

“Wasn’t my place to do so and you were still figuring things out, but if you taking a peek at me helped then I'm glad it did. Now stop talking to me and get ready for your date!" her friend explained and annoyingly she was right before teasing her again.

“Thanks Kate, I’m going to super-speed clean my apartment again before Lena comes okay?” she thanked her fellow Paragon and that earned her a laugh.

“I hope she knows how lucky she is, and don’t stress yourself out too much Sunshine. From what you’ve been texting me you’ve got this,” Kate assured her and that made her feel a bit less nervous.

Hanging up on her friend she then sped around her apartment making sure everything was perfect. The couch got straightened, the bed was pushed against the wall and she made it up again just in case she got lucky again. That was among the biggest surprises, the sex and how by great Krypton's ghost good it was. Sure, there had been awkward moments but with Lena, it just worked.

Hearing Lena approaching before the woman even knocked on her door she darted to the mirror and took off and put her glasses back on ten times in quick succession before settling on keeping them on, for now. Fixing her hair, having decided on leaving it down for the evening, she took a deep breath and opened the door and then promptly all power of speech left her.

Standing outside her apartment, holding a massive bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolates was Lena Luthor, in all her splendor and glory. Wearing a revealing black dress, heels that would break a lesser woman’s ankles and her dark hair gathered up elegantly on the top of her hair. Yep, Lena cut an imposing figure and why wasn’t her brain working? Her eyes worked fine and her heart did too, but the ol'brain wasn't responding right now.

“Keep staring like that darling and I’ll start charging admission,” the husky-voiced former-CEO teased her while pushing out her chest a bit and that rebooted her brain. So much cleavage! Bare shoulders! Calm down, Danvers!

“I was so freaking dumb!” she declared and pulled the raven-haired beauty in for a hug, which was a bit awkward with Lena holding both the flowers and chocolates.

“Yes, yes you were,” Lena teased her again and kissed her on the cheek before stepping into the apartment.

“I’ll just put these in water,” she blurted out before zooming to the kitchen and a nanosecond later the roses were indeed in water.

“I missed coming here,” her friend, no correction girlfriend or wait was that too soon, stated and wandered around the apartment.

“I missed having you over, though this is a bit different, isn’t it?” she asked and felt herself blushing.

“Now that we’re dating you mean?” Lena asked her straight out which gave her a very fuzzy feeling inside her tummy and she was pretty sure she hovered about an inch off the floor.

“Yeah and I get to do this,” she laughed and darted forward, kissed Lena on the lips, then at super-speed she brought out the food faster than the eye could see and finally pulling down her glasses she lit the candles with her heat-vision.

“Ta-dah! No secrets, right?” she asked as Lena observed her with an amused expression on her face.

“No secrets, for the record Lex, covered his trail well and looks clean and I’ve pivoted the Hope A.I. research into less... revenge focused avenues,” Lena said and that made her smile.

They’d had some difficult talks, about Lex, Hope, the Crisis and how much the lies had hurt, but they both knew that for their fledgling relationship to work they’d have to put all their cards on the table. The Crisis had reset a lot of things, but when Lena had told her how hurt she’d felt when Lex told her that Kara was Supergirl. While she’d explained that the reason she’d held back telling Lena, was because she had never wanted her to feel like Eliza and Alex had so often done when she was hurt. Lena had looked at her for a long time after that admission, called her an idiot and then hugged her tightly.

“Uh uh, no DEO drama, no past drama, tonight I’m dating you,” she said and pulled out a chair for the stunning green-eyed woman.

“I can live with that,” Lena said with a genuine smile and took the seat as she plated up the lasagna and the kale-salad.

“Oh, now I know that you want to make this relationship work because you actually made salad,” Lena joked, and she giggled while pouring them each a glass of wine.

“It hurt my soul to make it and I almost added sugar to it,” she joked back and sat down, raising her glass and looking into those kryptonite green eyes.

“To new beginnings,” she declared holding out her glass to which Lena smiled and clinked her glass against it.

“To not being dumbasses anymore,” the raven-haired beauty declared, that made her laugh and almost spill her wine.

“What? It’s true, for one genius and one superhero we were being pretty dumb,” Lena laughed, and the meal passed by full of smiles and laughter. Along with a bit of horror from Lena at how much parmesan cheese she put on her lasagna.

Following dessert, she escorted Lena hand in hand to the movie theatre nearby and it felt good to walk holding hands with Lena. Two tickets to the latest Disney movie later, at Lena’s insistence, they sat at the back of the theatre with a box of popcorn between them as they held hands.

“You’re too cute, but I love it,” Lena whispered as the trailers started playing and she squeezed her hand back.

“I guess, I wanted us to have a date like I couldn’t have back in Midvale,” she admitted and in response, Lena did a theatrical stretch and put an arm around her shoulders.

“Something like this?” the raven-haired genius teased her, and she nodded her head happily before resting it on Lena's shoulder.

Looking around the darkened theatre, it wasn’t too busy, in fact, there wasn’t a person nearby them. Taking her chance, she looked up and kissed Lena on the cheek right as her date was having a handful of popcorn. It was their first public display of affection.

“Movie is starting,” Lena whispered but squeezed her shoulder to which she gently took hold of the woman's chin and kissed her full on the lips.

“Salty…” she observed, and Lena raised an eyebrow at her behavior to which she just winked.

“I created a monster,” Lena bemoaned to which she put her free hand on the woman’s knee and squeezed it.

The movie passed way too fast, but it was pleasant, sitting next to Lena in a public space with the raven-haired beauty’s arm around her shoulders was heaven. And something about having her hand on the bare skin of Lena’s knee, a few stolen glances and simply being together felt very right and true.

“Where to next?” Lena asked as they walked out of the theatre and she looked around quickly. Two hours of touching, gentle caresses and it was driving her nuts.

Right there, on the street, she took hold of Lena’s face and kissed her in full view of anybody who cared to look. Pulling back, she looked into those green eyes and they were closed in surprise and when they opened Lena was smiling back at her.

“I need to change if you’re up for a quick flight that is,” she answered, and Lena gave her a silent nod of understanding and acceptance of the idea.

A quick outfit change later, she was Kara Zor-El, Supergirl, it had been something she’d debated but eventually settled on doing. She wanted her first official date with Lena to include both parts of her life. That meant both Kara Danvers and Supergirl got to come out and play.

“Supergirl, funny to see you tonight,” Lena teased her, and she wanted to poke her tongue out at the woman.

“Ready for a little trip?” she asked and pulled her cape off to which Lena gave at her a questioning look with a bit of confusion mixed in.

“Where are we going?” the raven-haired beauty asked but held out her arms to be picked up.

“L.A., I know this great club where we can dance,” she said and wrapped Lena up in the cape before picking her up.

“I like the sound of that,” Lena said her voice softening when she picked her up and those arms around her neck always felt good.

“Up, up and away,” she declared and took to the skies with the world's most precious cargo in her arms.

“Are you warm enough?” she asked once they were underway and Lena nodded her head before snuggling against her neck which made flying a bit harder.

“I’m warm enough... you know you radiate heat,” Lena spoke into her ear as they flew, and she had never given it much thought.

“That’s good right?” she asked and flew straighter while setting her course for L.A.

“It’s… perfect,” her green-eyed date with her windblown hair murmured into her ear and gave her a squeeze.

The flight was quiet, but this was the longest she’d ever flown with anyone in her arms she realized as they landed in an alley behind Lux. Almost not wanting to put Lena down, but she had to change before they could go dancing.

“Kara… can I ask you a favor?” Lena asked, fixing her hair and make-up using a small compact while still having the red cape draped over her shoulders. Lena looked good in Supergirl red she decided.

“Anything,” she blurted out and then blushed at how quickly she agreed to that.

“Could you… keep the suit on for tonight?” Lena asked with a look that she couldn’t really discern, was it naughty or was it something else?

“I kinda stand out... but if you want,” she agreed, and Lena gave her a quick smile before getting her phone out.

“Do you trust me?” Lena asked her after tapping at her phone a few times before putting the cape back on her.

“Yes!” she stated without a moment's hesitation and that made Lena smile so bright that it caused her to stop breathing.

“I’m reprogramming the nanites in your suit, stand still for a second and yes I know it’s hard for you to do that,” the raven-haired genius explained, and the suit began to shift around.

The cape vanished and the House of El emblem across her chest sank into the fabric of the suit. Otherwise, it remained the same, well aside from the open neckline with a hint of cleavage that Lena gave it. It felt like a bodysuit, a tight one, but something that wouldn’t look too out of place in a club like Lux.

“You and Winn should exchange notes,” she joked and ran her hands down the modified suit. Giving a happy smile both at the results and because Winn was back from the future for a little while.

“I'd... I'd like that, but for the record, I think I do much better work than him and this way I get to date Kara Danvers and Supergirl in one night,” Lena commented, and offered an arm which she took with a big smile on her face.

Lux was the same as it had been a week ago, though this time she as showing up with the most beautiful woman on the West Coast on her arm and it felt gosh darn perfect. Looking around she spotted Lucifer, lounging lazily on a spacious couch with a gaggle of girls around him but looking somewhat bored by it all.

“Come on, I want you to meet someone,” she said excitedly and escorted Lena over to her friend the Devil.

“Lucifer! Hey, Lucy!” she called out which caught his attention and he waved the girls with a devilish grin on his face.

“Kara Zor-El, didn’t think I’d see you back at my club so soon and wearing pants no less,” he greeted her in his British accented voice as he pulled his lanky frame up from the couch and then looked at Lena with a twinkle in his eye.

“And who is this?” he asked and took Lena’s hand before kissing it.

“Lena Luthor and you are?” Lena asked without flinching or reacting to Lucifer's charms and before she could introduce her as her date.

“Lucifer, Morningstar,” he introduced himself and she bit the inside of her cheek trying not to giggle. A part of her had been looking forward to how Lena Luthor, Mistress of Science, would react to Lucy.

“Ah yes, the pianist from the video, how nice to meet you,” her date said and Rao, it still felt uncanny to think of Lena as her date but in a good way. But the look on Lucifer’s face made it hard not to laugh. The Devil had probably never met a woman like Lena Luthor before.

“Oh, I see why you wanted her,” the Devil in the nice suit complimented her with a chuckle and she shrugged happily.

“Wanted me?” Lena asked looking up at her with a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Me and… Lucy had a nice chat,” she explained not really sure where Lena stood on the whole paranormal side of things.

“Sit, sit, Emily drinks,” Lucifer offered as he motioned to the couch, the waitress that she’d danced with the other night came over and all but gave her the thumbs up when she saw Lena.

“So, you know about Kara,” Lena asked when she sat down and crossed her legs before accepting a drink from the waitress.

“Not much happens on this plane of existence I’m not aware of my dear,” he bragged, and she rolled her eyes at that.

To Lena’s credit, she was taking all this in stride, but then she was sure that inside that pretty head of hers, Lena’s brilliant mind was hard at work analyzing who and what Lucifer was even as she sipped her drink.

“He also plays the piano and sings,” she joked and fought back a blush when the waitress winked at her while handing her a drink.

The reaction to the wink was surprising but not unwelcome, with Lena firmly placing a hand on her thigh and all but glaring a hole through the girl. Jealous Lena was scary and hot!

"And don't forget that people love telling me their darkest desires," he added with a nod towards Lena.

“Alright I’ll bite, how did you get this stubborn blonde of mine to admit to liking me?” Lena asked after scaring the waitress away with a look and taking another sip from her drink.

Lucifer glanced at her, almost if asking her permission which was nice of him and it might have had something to with her vague memories of challenging him to a drunken arm-wrestling contest. Well, at least the Devil respected her.

“Go on, show her your trick,” she said with a dramatic sigh and the gleeful look on the Devil’s face was almost cute.

“Tell me what is it that you desire?” Lucifer asked, fixing his piercing eyes on Lena’s green ones and Rao if the man’s voice couldn’t melt steel. Being Pan-sexual was awesome!

“I… oh I see… well, I desire to be better… because of her,” Lena gasped with understanding dawning in her green eyes and then looked over at her when she answered Lucifer's question.

“Well, I didn’t expect that! How very altruistic of you. This one just shouted your name and made her eyes glow,” he laughed, and she put her hand on top of Lena’s on her thigh.

“Kara!” Lena laughed and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, I can be stubborn, okay, and his trick doesn’t work as well on me apparently,” she protested blushing under the attentions of her raven-haired date.

“In any case my dears, feel free to avail yourself of my club’s services tonight,” Lucifer asked and rose to his feet getting ready to leave them.

“You not staying?” Kara asked feeling a bit sad since she kinda liked this strange man. He was infuriating of course but she felt like on some level that they understood each other.

“I’ve sadly got some detective related business to attend to, so I’m afraid our encore will have to wait,” he promised and grinned at her which made her blush and drain her drink

“Miss Luthor, you take good care of this angel. I’m kind of fond of her,” he said to Lena to which the raven-haired beauty grinned at him.

“I fully intend to... Old Scratch,” the green-eyed stunner that she had somehow lucked into dating teased the Devil.

“Smart girl,” he chuckled before leaving them to their own devices and Lena leaned in closer.

“You have the most interesting friends,” the sultry woman whispered in her ear and it gave her goosebumps.

“Lucy is a good guy, a bit strange but good,” she said with a smile and turned to face Lena, so they were nearly nose to nose.

“Leave it to my Kara to see the good in the Devil himself, but I agree strange is good. Now let’s dance! I want to show that winking waitress that you belong to me and me alone,” Lena stated and pulled her up from the couch.

“Uhhh okay…” she agreed with a goofy smile spreading across her face as she allowed herself to be dragged to the dance floor.

Lena Luthor didn’t play around, with pale hands firmly on her shoulders they moved together to the music and it was hard not to start floating. With her hands on the woman’s hips, she looked down and when it came to sexy devilish grins Lena had Lucifer beat, at least in her humble and very biased opinion.

“What is the plan after this?” Lena whispered in her ear while pressing herself against her and it felt like her heart was about to explode.

“I… was hoping you’d stay the night…” she whispered back and in response, Lena pulled at her earlobe with her pearly white teeth.

“Is that so, never gone home with a superhero before,” the green-eyed goddess teased her and let her hands slip down her back towards her butt.

“Careful or I’m going to…” she gasped when Lena squeezed her butt and she felt a flush rising up her cheeks.

“Going to do what… Kara Zor-El?” Lena asked with her bright red lips still against her ear and if the former-CEO wanted to play, she could play.

“Come, I think I need to show you who you’re dealing with,” she teased the raven-haired beauty and all but carried her off the dance floor.

“Ka… Kara...” Lena actually stammered when she pushed the woman against the wall in a darkened corner of the club.

“Say it… say my name... my real name again,” she whispered into Lena’s ear before kissing the side of her neck and pinning her against the wall.

“Kara... Zor-El!” the green-eyed genius moaned, and she grinned, this was another one of those things she’d never allowed herself to do with anyone before now, before Lena.

“Good, you better remember that,” she drawled into Lena’s ear before returning the favor and pulling at an earlobe with her teeth as she felt her date raise a leg up over her hip.

“Kiss me already,” Lena begged and in response, she flashed her heat-vision which made the raven-haired woman gasp.

“Say the magic word…” she teased and kissed Lena on the chin and then on the cheeks before looking into those emerald green eyes full of lust and admiration but also that Luthor stubbornness.

“Fuck… please kiss me…” Lena begged and that was all it took. She kissed her date hard on the lips with no regard for the state of that ruby red lipstick or who might see them.

Lena ran elegant fingers through her hair and then dug them into her scalp when she grabbed the woman’s firm and curvy behind and lifted her up from the floor. Lena’s legs wrapped around her waist and this was like nothing she’d ever, ever, done before. By the time she pulled back, they were both out of breath and staring at each other.

“See that wasn’t so hard,” she giggled, and that made Lena raise her eyebrow at how forward she was being.

“Take me somewhere. Now! Because I’m not having sex in a club,” Lena demanded with a look on her face that made her know that she was in for it now.

They didn’t make it back to National City and instead, they ended up in a nearby hotel. Once in their room, which Lena had paid for by literally throwing the payment in the poor night clerk's face. The raven-haired science goddess all but ripped her suit off before getting down on her knees. The last thing she remembered was looking down into Lena’s green eyes and groaning in Kryptonian for the raven-haired beauty to: “Kneel before Zor-El!” 

[moonjuicewiththepresident]

the falls- chapter two

Summary:

“I still don’t understand why Great Uncle Remus would choose to talk to us now after 17 years of figurative radio silence.” Logan rolled his eyes.

Roman scoffed. “It doesn’t matter! Mom and Dad sent us here to have more fun, and goddamnit, we’re going to have some fucking fun!”

A Gravity Falls AU because I can't control myself anymore

Characters: Patton, Logan, Roman, Remus, a random goat

Warnings: Remus being Remus, they all have potty mouths

First > Next

They got off the bus and saw a man with big, round glasses and a huge grin, seeming to be waiting for something.

“You know, when you said ‘great uncle’, I pictured someone much older.” Roman leaned over and whispered to Logan.

“I thought so too.” He shrugged.

The man had finally noticed their arrival and bounced over to them. “Pines twins?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Logan hesitated. “But no offense, you don’t look related to us at all.”

“Oh, no, I’m not related to you, don’t worry. I’m Patton, Mr. Pines’ employee!” He smiled. “He’s a little… preoccupied at the moment.”

“Why, what’s he doing?” Roman raised an eyebrow.

“Not important!” He gave them a long, hard stare. “So, I’m assuming you’re Roman,” He pointed at him. “And you must be Lu-”

“Logan.” He cut Patton off. “My name is Logan.”

“Oh! Well, it’s very nice to meet you two! Anyways,” He clapped his hands. “We should get going!”

*

“This place is a fucking dump,” Logan muttered over to Roman as he left the car.

It truly was. It was called the Mystery Shack, and it was falling apart. The ‘S’ in ‘shack’ was stuck in the ground, the porch was half collapsed, and there was a goat on the roof.

“I don’t know, I kinda like the goat.” Roman grinned.

“You like any animal that isn’t rabid and or a moose.”

“Mooses are terrifying!”

“No, they’re not!” Logan laughed. “Plus, the plural is ‘moose’.”

“But that doesn’t make sense!”

“Yes, it does!”

“N-”

“Hey, kids!”

Roman let out a girlish scream while Logan just raised an eyebrow at the man who had popped up behind them.

He let out a strange, offputting giggle. “Oh, you are just so easy to scare! That will never get you very far in this town.” He leaned closer to Roman. “Be careful of where you step, kid.” Roman quickly backed up. “And you!” He spun to face Logan. “Is the strongest reaction you have is truly just an eyebrow raise?”

“Oh, god no. He’s fucking terrifying during a debate.” Roman shuddered and Logan just smirked.

“Ah, so we got a nerd on our hands.” He peered at Logan. “Anyways! You can call me your Great Uncle Remus! Welcome to the Mystery Shack!” He gestured back to the house. “ Mi casa es tu casa!” He clapped his hands. “Any questions?” Logan raised his hand. “Shoot your shot, kid!”

“Do you even know our names?” Logan asked.

“Oh! That’s what I forgot! So which one of you is which?”

“I’m Roman, and this is my brother-”

“Logan,” He cut Roman off. “Just call me Logan.”

“Cool,” Remus gave a lop-sided grin. “Let’s get you moved into the attic.” He started walking off towards the shack.

“This dude is so fucking weird,” Logan whispered. “At least he’s not an asshole though.”

“Yeah, I think he’s going senile,” Roman muttered before grabbing their bags and followed Remus in.

*

Roman, in fact, should have watched his step. He tripped over the porch steps and Logan just laughed, whispering “Payback is a bitch.” as he walked past him.

When they walked up the stairs to the attic, Roman groaned. The goat was now in their room, eating one of the mattresses.

Seeing his obvious discomfort, Remus snorted. “Yeah, that’s Detroit, you can’t really kick him out, he somehow finds a way back in.”

“You know, I was expecting worse,” Logan admitted. “This is cozy, in a very strange way.”

“Why thank you!” Remus grinned. “I’m gonna go downstairs and let you get settled in. After all, I have a tourist trap to run!” Once the door closed, Roman spun around to face Logan.

“Okay, what were Mom and Dad thinking? This guy is fucking insane!”

“It’s not that bad, he just seems…” Logan trailed off.

“Like a nut-job?”

“I was going to say eccentric, but sure, why not.”

There was a long pause of silence with them just looking at the goat who was making eye contact while continuing to munch on the mattress.

“So what now?” Roman asked, shifting uncomfortably.

“Well, first of all, I call the bed without the goat,” Roman huffed at that. “And second of all, Mom and Dad said that we’re going to work for him over the summer, so we might as well tolerate him for the time being.”

“Where do we go from here, though?” Roman shoved the goat off the bed before flopping down on the other bed.

“Well I for one am going to go into the woods because AT&T service fucking sucks out here and I have nothing else to do, but I guess you can follow me if you want.” Logan put on his jacket and headed towards the door and raised an eyebrow, beckoning Roman for him to follow.

“Fine,” Roman groaned and stood up. “But I’m complaining the entire time.”

“Oh, it’s expected by now.”

“Hey!”

*

“Roman, I swear to god, stop tripping over everything!”

“I’m just looking around! It’s not my fault that it’s so pretty!” Roman exclaimed.

He was right, it was beautiful. They were walking alongside a river that was crystal clear, lined with huge trees. The light filtering through the branches made the grass look like it was glowing, and every once and a while, they would see a deer or several squirrels.

“Still, Grunkle Remus was right, you should watch where you’re going,” Logan grumbled.

“Grunkle?” Roman frowned.

He shrugged. “Weird nickname for a weird guy.”

“Fair point.” Roman stopped for a minute “So what was the point of all of this? Why are we here?”

“Exploration, I guess.” Logan sighed. “I just don’t really know what to do this summer, and I guess that since we have to live here for a while, we might as well get to know the area.”

From behind him, Roman could hear Logan let out a small yelp. “So you make fun of me for tripping but now-” He was cut off by a loud metal bang and he quickly spun around. Logan was on the ground, looking extremely embarrassed, and next to him was a tree with a panel on it hanging open. “How did you break a tree?”

Logan didn’t answer him. He stood up, opening the panel even further and he winced at the loud creak. “Jesus, this needs some WD-40.”

“Why was that relevant?” Roman complained but Logan just shushed him. “Oh really now-”

“Roman, seriously!” Logan cut him off harshly. Roman looked taken aback at that but didn’t say anything else. He reached into the panel and brought out a black book. Logan frowned and blew the dust off of it, revealing a metallic blue constellation embossed on the cover and a small three down in the corner.

“Lo, you’re a space nerd, what constellation is that?” Roman murmured as he leaned over his shoulder.

“I believe it’s Gemini,” He turned to face Roman. “The sign of the twins.”

[survivorsunsetrodeo]

Ep 11 | No Regrets. No Mercy. It's Happening. - Ari

Y'all.... the way I just.... asked Emma if she had an idol flaksjlakjfakls

She said no at first, but now she's saying yes lmao. OMG. I literally don't know what to do with this information other than like sit on it? Emma seems to be okay with me knowing this and as much as I want to tell Ari..... god idk this is so big.

This could really shake up the game for me and split up some of the big people in my alliance lkfjalkfja. GOD. Why did I even ask. Well knowledge is power and she wouldn't just like tell me if she didn't trust me???

I know I can't beat Ari and I think against Taylor it would be super close, but I also love them so much, so I would feel so bad if one of them went home bc of me lfkjalkfja. Like what is even happening rn!!! I just. Can't breathe. 

YALL. I just. CANNOT.

Taylor calls me right. And says oh btw Jacob, Ari, and Ali pooled money at swap in order to get the REVOLVER. Which they neglected to tell me. Which is so cute. But THEN! She also tells me that Ali wants to go for Ari this round flshjsjshaa which is kinda hot and I’m BITTER AF because I literally fucking spilled my entire anxious heart to Ari and felt like they were my number 1 and NOW they’ve been hiding shit from me??? Goodbye. So then I tell Taylor about Emma having the beer and now we know where both idols are this round so woo!

So then Ali starts to call me to tell me goodnight and that he loves me (he’s such a sweetie) and I was like Ali what’s the tea? And he just SPILLS everything to me about all the alliances he’s in with Ari and how he knows we don’t stand a chance against Ari at final tribal council. WHICH IS ALL FACTUAL. And definitely things I’ve been thinking about, but also haven’t had the guts to say anything about. So basically a plan was hatched in order to get the 3-2-2 vote to still happen but have it land on ARI with the idol in their pocket this round. I am literally going to go ALL OUT for the next immunity comp bc Ari cannot win.

Sorry Ari, this town ain’t big enough for the both of us. 

got my third idol probably gonna waste it thanks nic hehe <3 Its funny that i was on the very bottom of the tribe now that these people found out i have the idol they want to be my bestie and vote with me i am gonna try very hard to win this immunity so i could only maybe play the immunity idol on josh or he can play it on himself ASDFGH also f2 with 8 people jury just say that redemption island is happening i guess my game plan i hope is to get out ari (pain) then maybe flip and get out maybe dan/jacob i have a feeling after this vote that dan/jacob are probably gonna flip get one of me or josh out probs josh but i dont want that to happen so i am gonna try to make sure i keep on trying to build my relationship with taylor more like i did last tribal also noted wow my biggest weakness in orgs is not my emotions its honestly my self confidence damn also talk to ali more my goat brother <3 also i really miss brandi she was really nice also i feel bad but not super bad that jabari was out i wanted to work with them last vote but they were throwing me utb that wasnt good.. Idk maybe if i hella play these last few rounds then make a very convincing case maybe i do have a small chance of winning idk fuck touchy subjects AHHH it shouldnt effect me now but tribal made me remember again ASDFG even tho theres people who havent made moves like me.

https://prnt.sc/xo035n

The way I was complaining weeks ago that I was gonna go 16th place...I have to laugh. Me and Emma seems to be in a power position this round since the majority alliance is probably starting to turn against each other according to Ari which is great because I'll have options. Last round I told Emma to distance ourselves and search for cracks within the majority alliance. That led to Ari creating The Clementines alliance with me, Ari and Taylor. Now I'm on board on this group but Tay's been doubting keeping me over Jabari as soon as they found out Emma bought another idol. I'm lying to everyone that I didnt give Emma money (which I did) and told them Nic gave Emma money before he left (which was true but it wasn't enough to buy a $500 idol). Emma got close with Dan and Jacob (separately?) but after all the disassociation with Emma people still think we're working together because they keep bringing our names in private conversations. Emma thinks it's Ari & Tay vs Dan & Jacob but Ari tells me that they are willing to vote with me and Emma this round (with Jacob? idk) but I'm not really sure what the dynamics is on their side but Ari wants to go after Tay and Dan which I'm totally on board with the idea. I would rather have Dan go first because I think the Ari and Tay thing can still be useful and Dan has more pre-existing relationships than Tay I think. The best case scenario is for me to win Immunity and with Emma having the tier 2 idol the majority alliance is forced to turn against each other prematurely. Signs have already been forming when Jacob and I called a few days ago about "Taking out the threats". If I can pull off pretending to have an idol too that'd be great because it appears that NO ONE knows where the t3 idol is which is weird. One more thing is that someone noticed about the finale being a F2 with 8 Jury Members. That really doesn't sound right and people seemingly getting money out of nowhere it's possible that some sort of Edge of Extinction or Redemption Island could be at play here. I wonder how far it goes....Premergers feel like they've been gone for far too long to have an impact in the game but hey I could be wrong.

lolz i need to win immunity or josh idk josh is probably good at math i hate math but im gonna keep on trying hehe also if i see something in the saloon brought i know alis ass brought the idol im just gonna keep on trying to remind ali like hey bro if u want a chance of winning dont vote me off aha 

trust list you probably know 1: Josh > everyone else i need more ideas to make confessionals i am kinda tired at this point but dont give up until its over but honestly my tiredness is probably why i am in the retirement home also not me winning like 75 dollars when i almost wanted to abstain because this challenge is always a nightmare this challenge is more fun the emoji math maze... i think ali probs has the idol if he has 135 left when i told him if not if i see something in the saloon brought ill assume ali brought a tier 2 idol i know this tribal is gonna be crazy so i am gonna mentally prepare for it i also told dan i have the idol which is an L but everyone knows that i have it because why would they say they want to work with me when they hella lied to me during the nic vote  also its the fact they seem me hey best person to take to f2 next to ali thank god for this idol honestly i guess another thing im worried about i need to distance myself from josh but thats impossible because i know jacob was straight up with me and told me he wanted to work with me and josh also dan also was kinda like that as long as i can get myself safe this vote ill be fine but like i said in my other confessional  i know dan is probably gonna flip next round maybe i am thinking about targetting them if ari wins immunity o.o also i belong in a retirement hope random thing live finales make me wanna kms because what if i cry live thats so sad and my biggest fear im kinda okay at talking at finales.

so  u can score like 100m in this challenge good bye brb gonna try to get the most points..

ok here's the status report before i go off to bed:

dan is almost definitely tryin some funny business so he has got to go. i'm working with josh and emma on this one and i truly believe they are genuine, and jacob is obvs with that so it'd be four votes dan, three votes whatever the heck happens with the adoption centre split-vote plan. i don't think i even need to play my idol however im debating whether i should do so anyway because taylor is very much on the don't-break-ranks-just-trust bandwagon and i feel like she is going to be angery if i break that to go after dan without it looking like i felt very in danger? i dunno tbh. i could just pin it all on jacob and pretend to be shockedt but that feels a bit dirty and i'd like to own my moves thank u very much.... guess i'll play it out tomorrow and see how i feel

Not me waking up at 3am to a message from Taylor saying that Ari is feeling sketched out by me because I’m being calm.

Oh yeah Ari? Do you want me to act paranoid? I can do that, but maybe I’m not paranoid bc I know where both idols are this round. It just makes me think that Ari likes that I get paranoid and freaked out.

Part of me actually wants to tell them everything about the plan to get them out but at the same time I feel like that will get me voted out. I feel like the mind games are becoming a little too much for me and I don’t even really feel like playing anymore.

lol of course the person i wanted the least to win immunity wins immunity. Things are definitely starting to get spicy and i might've pushed it a little farther when i lied and said Dan is coming after Ari and I mean he might be but it's the push i needed to make for Ari TO STOP BEING VAGUE TO ME.

Bebop (named after Cowboy Bebop don't call me a weeb) has been formed yesterday and it's me, Emma and Ari. What a Galapagos reunion. Ari told that the majority alliance's plan is to split the votes 3-2-2. The 3 is possibly me because it's no secret Emma is going to play an idol. If no shenanigans happen it should be 3 for Dan, 2 for me and 2 for Emma with Dan going home but I do not feel good about this plan because if an idol is played then there's a high chance another one will. I plan on taking Emma's idol and playing it for myself with the reasoning is that there are people willing to keep Emma because of her goat status over me.

What's interesting to me is that Ari told me that Jacob doesn't like Dan and I'm not exactly sure why but if Jacob is open to voting Dan then I more than welcome it. Me, Emma, Ari and Jacob is the alliance that I've been wanting since merge started and how that hasn't been solidified yet is tragic. They're the three people I enjoy talking to the most. I mean, Taylor's great too but she's coming after me so she gotta go! The way that she messaged Ari saying "Are you sure it was the right choice to keep Josh?"....ARI OF ALL PEOPLE. Well, I'm glad the secret pair beware of #TeamLasagna is still going strong. Now that Ari has become less vague I know I can trust them a lot more.

i literally do not understand any of these people and it is driving me NUTS!!!

ok ok ok so like. josh tells me this morning that taylor said she wants to make a move on me because she heard i was talking to people one-on-one about her being most likely to flip. i immediately go oh f*#&$&#@ dan because i had SORT OF said that in our call yesterday so ofc he twisted it and used it against me. except!! then taylor herself calls me and says "josh came to me and asked if i trusted you and i wanted to get info from him so i made up this lie about how you'd said i was most likely to flip, i'm concerned he's coming for you" and i'm like oh f*#&$%#@ me. ofc my first instinct is to think she's lying as it seems like far too big of a coincidence for her to randomly come up with this story that is partially true..... BUT why on earth would she be telling me all this then? does she want to flush my idol? did she think the story would come back to me and wanted to get ahead of it? either way it doesn't make sense for her to say anything if she truly wants to vote me out, but the coincidence.... too much....... and should i be less certain of my relationship with josh? or are both their versions of the story true and they both don't want me out? my head is pounding i swear. plus jacob said that taylor told him she's "worried" about me because of what josh was saying, which lends more credibility to the idea she's being earnest in not wanting me out UNLESS she is aware of how close we are and assumes i'd tell him (i did)? I DON'T KNOW I JUST DO NOT KNOW

and then if that ISN'T enough, i have dan over here being completely erratic, first telling me how bad a day he's had that he almost wants to ask to be voted out, then saying that josh had thrown my name out which like ya i told josh he could do that. but dan's like "i'm not voting you ari i would never" and it's frustrating cuz he knows how to get to my emotions and i wanna believe him! i really do! especially since if he truly wanted me out he shouldn't tell me any of that shit. but i can't trust it i can't!!!!!! it's too risky!!!!!! ughhhhhhh

tl;dr this vote is a mindfuck and i'm 99% going to play my idol because i don't trust any of these fools anymore

also if i had a dollar for every time i tell jacob he needs to go be convincing to someone and he's like "ok bet" and fifteen minutes later that person is telling me "idk about jacob he's being so vague didn't really give me anything" i would have enough money to buy back my gun after i use it tonight

Y’all, sadly I think I’ve yeed my last haw

Well ignore my last confessional i dont want ari out idc how big of a threat they are or good at the game they are im gonna be loyal as i can to them idk before this i thought big moves and like flipping plus being kinda deceitful was to win i did get pots last year for playing that game tho but its like idk i feel like a new side to me like i rather be loyal to people who i been loyal to from the start and not make a move just to make a big move if i lose 7-0 so be it this game i had hopes of people working with me then being deceitful to me so i am just gonna do whatever tf i want this doesnt mean i dont like the people who i am against i think this merge was full of lovely people but theres people i am more loyal then others i honestly gave josh my idol to play because i rather not be alone without them in this game then be dragged to the end by somebody else also this is funny in orgs i thought years and years back ago me and ari are like oil and water, ketchup and ice cream but playing this game with them has been so much fun!! Also if i some how get betrayed or voted off in any round its okay NNN yeah i wish i had more of a game to prove but its very hard when everyone has different connections i really hope dan isnt super mad at me voting them off i really like dan as a person sometimes im dry in his pms but i did love like playing this game with them!! also i wish i can delete my first conf nnn

ugh i am just truly unsatisfied with this round no matter how it actually shakes out. i dont know what to say to taylor about dan going and i'm frankly too tired to think about it, i hate that im most likely wasting my idol but i would kick myself if i didn't play it & got stabbed, and i'm sad about the collapse of the adoption centre which is partly/mostly my fault anyway. i would like to get this over with as quickly as possible.

7th place isn’t something to be sad about I guess. Just wish I could have made it farther. I’m gonna be the most bitter juror out there tbh haha sorry Ari! 

This round is so scary I feel really bad about Dan 

i'm so nervous about who is gonna go omg i haven't heard my name at all but i am still nervous and idk who to trust ahhhh

I came from the best player to the one going home 

Power Rankings ONE - JACOB (+2) Threat: 6 (+2) Trust: 2 (NC) Looking back on this round, I didn’t realize how much power Jacob really had. Jacob could have single handedly sent dan home, but failed to communicate his intentions with the minority. Had Jacob of done this, I could have easily seen him sitting in the final 2. However, this misstep will have major consequences on his game. TWO - TAYLOR (+4) Threat: 7 (+2) Finally getting myself back into a position of power. Regardless of my downfall last round, I picked myself back up and went out of my way to message josh and Emma to see if they’d like to do something. Fortunately for me, they did. I could have sent dan home this round if Jacob had of talked to me (but he had no service). I would have been sitting pretty is a majority of 3 with Emma and josh. Threat level back up, back on track to win the game. THREE - JOSH (+1) Threat: 7 (+3) Trust: 7 (+5) Just like I predicted last round, Josh realized it was time to start making the right moves to get himself further. He just needed to break up the trio. I credit myself more than I credit josh though because I reached out to him, had I not of, he could have went home. But him joining with me was a good move for his game and he recognizes that. FOUR - EMMA (+1) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 7 (+5) Emma, similarity to josh had a good round because of me approaching them. Emma and josh didn’t even realize their games were at risk until I figured out that Ari, dan and Jacob weren’t voting me, rather voting one of them. Emma still left this round, but honestly if there was communication on Jacobs part about a flip on the revote, us 3 would have skated by. https://i.imgur.com/lFtZBsl.png FIVE - ARI (-4) Threat: 8 (-2) Trust: 1 (-1) Ari really lost control of their game at this point. Not only are they the biggest threat to win, but now they’re the biggest threat to win challenges. I also saw a different side of Ari that I can’t say I like. It’s funny because I used to always think to myself, “Ari seems nothing like an Aries, they’re so calm and wonderful and sweet” YEAH throw all of that out the window. Mad Ari is a different Ari lol. Anyways back on track, they for once I think were shocked by a vote, the double tie they had no control over. And finally, finally I think we are starting to see the decline of Ari’s game. Threat level is something I’m still trying to figure out how to control, and if you fail to control it like Ari did, you’ll see a similar result. SIX - DAN (-4) Threat: 4 (-3) Trust: 7 (+3) Dan lands here because of his failure to mend a relationship with me, now that I had Emma and josh wanting to work with me, Ari won immunity, and Jacob had an idol, it really only left me with the option of voting for dan. If Jacob had of said something, dan would have left this round. Because dan chose to link back up with Ari last round, and Ari lost control this round, subsequently that means dan also lost control. The one thing Dan has over is he isn’t seen as the biggest threat in the game.

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 6: "Hmmm #conspiracy" - Ian

SIKE I LIVED AHAHAHHAA. WE CRUSHED BLUDVA. Bludva who???????

WOOOOOO WE WON!!! I WAS ACTUALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING. That being said if Tom, Evan, Jules or JJ goes home I will start a fire in your bathroom. Not really because I’m too scared to use matches but I will be very UPSET.

That was probably one of the most unsettling rounds I have ever played. So like before I slept last night, JJ and I went on call and he spilled his guts to me. Literally offered me a lot of things saying he will be loyal to us four and all. I didn’t want to have that conversation but I had to in order to see if I can get anything from JJ.

Unfortunately even tho he was telling me how Evan, Jules and Tom betrayed him I got nothing new from him. Like he was not telling information that would earn my favor like info on his other tribe mates. So I told him I will consider his offer and I slept woo

Flash forward to the morning I wake up and us 4 Budva baes we’re debating the merits of keeping Evan or JJ. Jason and Julia were entertaining the idea of keeping JJ and voting out Evan because he has some connections to the other og Durmitor and Ali and I were pushing to keep the target on JJ. Me and Ali discussed this earlier and we know that JJ was gonna try do whatever it takes to stay. We both agreed that by keeping JJ that would screw over Tom and Jules who were the ones willing to flip for us. And so Ali finally brought that up and I think that convinced Jason and Julia to stick with the JJ vote. Jason also learned from Jules that JJ is very well connected with the other og Durmitor so that pretty much sold it.

Like minutes before tribal JJ made a chat with him and us 4 Budva minus the hosts oof! He pleaded his case and I AM NOT COMFROTABLE WE THOSE KIND OF THINGS!! So I ignored those messages and just endured and then JJ was voted out and he got into a small argument with Julia and Jules.

Right now, the plan if we go to tribal again is to get rid of Evan because he’s a SNAKE!!

i can't remember when i last confessed but stuff has happened so... whew.

okay so! first things first, JJ is gone. which it was his time and byebye. I think Evan is likely next, he just alienated EVERYONE, including JJ who he leaked stuff too, who voted for him so rest in peace.

also emathia, can't keep secrets Ali truly jumped out on call with Jules yesterday. I truly told her everything. ALSO CRAP I JUST MISSED MY STEP FOR THE CHALLENGE GRR. but yup, she knows about the idol, that I trust Benj and that I hosted Mo for his first season (all the stuff I hadn't originally told her). I am committed to going as far as possible with her, we are WINNING!

in other news, i now know tom is sus about working with me. WHICH AHH NERVY. i really want him to trust me, and will do my best to show that trust is worth it.

in other... other news... I have thoughts about the other four I haven't played with yet. I assume Benj is who flipped and I'm proud of him for doing what he needs to do. Of the four I haven't met, we have:

Caeleb, aka Tom's cousin. IM CONVINCED. IM 100% CONVINCED THEY ARE RELATED. Tom can deny it ALL HE WANTS, but I am onto the ancestry.com (lowkey they aren't related but its super funny to me ankslfda)

Jones, aka... a queen? Jones seems SO NICE, LIKE SO SO NICE. I really wanna meet her and play with her, I hope she wins! She has come 4th and 6th... like she is a threat and someone to defo keep an eye on.

Mo! I love him!! I don't think he likes me, but if he does I'd love love LOVE to work with him! bang voyage woo we love him

Alex C... makes me the most nervous. Jules says he runs stuff and Julia has bad history with him! I feel like he is gonna be someone who by game dynamics I'm unable to work with, even though I'd like to! we will see on that one... hold that thought!

anyway, the dream is a F4 of me, Jules, Benj & Tom, Julia can go 5th for working with Jason/Ian too much, and then maybe like Mo/Jones in 6-7 because they seem iconic and would just love 'em to go far! idk this is mess aklsdfaf

Hmm what are the odds that this challenge is an individual immunity challenge disguised as a tribe immunity challenge. Hmmm #conspiracy

Anyways, the plan is if we lose immunity we get rid of the snake in the grass which Evan. He can continue wearing his frog onesie but that doesn’t change the fact that you are a snake!! I just learned that Evan is telling Jules that me and Jason need to be broken up.

I love how these people like assumed me/Jason and Ali/Julia are pairs. Like ok that’s what y’all think then we will work with it. My only real worry is that if we do get rid of Evan there is no more cushion for us in this tribe. Like Tom and Jules are numbers for us rn (and I AM LOVING THEM RN) and if we don’t swap/merge after this round and there is still another immunity and we lose it then whew that’s gonna be a big dilemma. So yeah that’s the only thing holding me back from throwing this challenge hehehe

im on call with tom, i want him to win and i am planting the seeds and WILL see them harvest.

this game's F3 better be Jules, Tom & Benj. I WILL ACCEPT NO OTHER OUTCOME.

So with this challenge, I honestly didn't put alot of effort into it but neither did anyone in my alliance really. We kinda wanted to lose because we can get rid of another durmitor person and keep the other budvas safe from the uglies on the other tribe. With merge coming, I know who my targets are. MO AND ALEX. Bye you have both seen me play and frankly i dont have any respect for either of you. I'm gonna make it my dying wish to see you both fail. Also last night Jules and I lied to evan and said we were cousins to see if he would start drama. He didn't and he believed it too and he trusts us now wtf lol. He shouldnt because I want him gone 100%.

If we lose this challenge then hopefully Evan goes. Then after that please let us merge already or we swap and I’m still in a majority position. I cannot lose anyone in this tribe after Evan goes because they’re all potential numbers for me when we merge.

On another note, Jason, tom and I solidified our alliance. Don’t know where we and Jason really gonna go with because we also have OG budva baes but rn I guess this alliance is here to stay I guess? Can’t wait to become the goat for these two!!

why am i paranoid

okay so i am fully missing some brain cells. i was trying to add tom on sc before we recorded this so had to fix the video on him to get the QR code, and then... never turned that off... so enjoy a video of tom with me in the background like a ghostie or a spirit.

Watching Tom make literal pizza is ASMR.

Okay so I'm watching BB21 and the amount of ad breaks on US shows is INSANE, so I have time to type.

I'm going to... crack next vote if we go to tribal this round. I feel really really good about Tom in this game moving forward, and... refuse to have him go home prejury (which could happen if we go to two tribals in a row).

So I have two plans, both of which are cracked and both of which will solidify my mess self.

1. A 3-2-1 vote. Convince Julia/Jason/Ian to split the votes between Tom and Jules, and then me/Tom/Jules vote for idk... Ian? This would burn bridges like crazy but hopefully merge could help me figure that whole mess out.

2. Give... Tom my idol. Now this would be CRACKED as all crackers. But if we play it off right it'll be fine. Only other complication is that Benj knows about my idol, which he could spread ahh!

but ignoring the crackheadery, the best case scenario is we win immunity and then next round we get Evan out... then we will be fine hdjdjdkd

I change my mind we’re def not merging at F13 Bc Drew Seamus and Asya (to an extent Bc she’s innocent) are definitely gonna wanna milk the dua lipa cave twist until it’s BONE DRY!!!! But ya hopefully we lose and Michael goes home xoxo