#anyway still mad someone took our post it makes my skin fucking crawl that i have no control over something thats OURS

[fossys]

Hey guess who remembered why we stopped being active in plural communities in the first place <-people are dicks

[honeypirate]

Hi 🥺 first of all thank you for the follow and the amazing writings 😭❤️ and secondly hopefully I can request a Aone x reader where the reader is like usually very blunt and mean skater girl vibes. But with Aone they are like all bubbly and very shy with him. And everyone wonders why they are together 🥺

Hopefully you can do this request !!!! Have a amazing day my love!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO CUTE AHHHH! 

thank you so much for this! i had so much fun writing it. i’m not experienced with writing skater things, this was my first try lol i hope you like it. 

Aone Takanobu x Skater Girl Reader

warnings: maybe a swear or two 

words: 2.5k

“God Ko did you have to take so long? We’re going to be late now. I should have just left without you!” you shouted at your best friend Koganegawa over the sound of the wind in your ears, your foot coming down to push against the concrete on the sidewalk as you both skateboard the relatively short distance to school.

 He had volleyball practice and you had softball practice at the same time in the morning, and being two out of a handful of students who like to skate you guys became fast friends,  when you ran into each other the first morning skating to school for practice he decided right then and there you would be best friends. 

“Oh come on Y/N-chan! I know you’re glad you didnt leave me behind!”  you shake your head, your hands shoved in the front pocket of your black hoodie as you coasted down the hill, “no part of me is glad!” you shout back and he sticks his tongue out at you, causing you to laugh. 

Since most of the teachers and faculty weren’t at the school in the morning you usually used your skateboard in the school, which wasn’t a problem until today. Because of Koganegawa being unusually late, they were practicing with a different setter, causing the ball to be set at the wrong angle causing Aone to hit it straight out the door at the same moment you passed by and of course hitting you in the back and knocking you off your board. 

“Aone you hit someone!” a voice shouted from the gym, Koganegawa who had stopped a few feet before you so he could go into gym was now on his knees with laughter, you caught your self with your hands and knees then with the momentum slipped onto your elbows, you felt your knees sting as you rolled up to a sitting position. 

You could hear the team running towards the door as you inspected your knees, Koganegawa having a hard time crawling over to you since he was laughing so hard, “you should have seen that! I wish I could have gotten it on video! It was hilarious!” he’s on his back now, holding his stomach as he laughs, you shoot him a glare “shut up you ass! It really hurt!!” you rubbed your wrists, they were starting to ache from the impact. 

The rest of your angry words died on your tongue as a white haired boy ran over to you, taking a knee and looking at you with furrowed brows. “Are you okay?” he says and you feel your cheeks flush from his intense gaze, he reaches out and takes your hands in his, inspecting your palms and wrists as you stared up at his handsome face, completely at a loss for words. 

“I didn’t mean to hit you” he says, the rest of the team behind him watching the scene go down, most of them silent, shocked that their quiet giant was speaking so much. You can't help the quiet giggle that escaped your throat when he looked back into your eyes, “I- I’m fine! No worries! A couple scrapes is all” you manage to say, your cheeks feeling hot and your palms starting to sweat, he was so cute! you ‘ve always had a crush on him from all the games you went to, he had such a kind and good vibe it made your heart happy, and here he was! Your crush! Basically holding your hands! After he hit you with a volleyball but that was a different case.  

“Yo Y/n why are you acting so weird?” Koganegawa says, now kneeling beside you both, looking between you and Aone, trying to figure out the vibe he was getting, the rest of the team had retreated back inside the gym and you heard some whispering from inside. You send a glare at him as Aone looks down at your knees now, the skin red and rubbed raw through the holes that were already in your jeans. His gentle fingers brush above the mark and you get goosebumps, when he’s satisfied that you weren’t really hurt he took your hand and helped you to your feet. 

He leans down and picks up your skateboard, handing it to you as he bows deeply “I’m sorry again” he says and you take the board before awkwardly bowing back, “dude you’re still late for practice” Koganegawa says and you curse under your breath, “see you after class Ko! Thank you Aone!” you say as you throw your board down, skating off in the direction of the girls locker room at the other end of the hall. 

“How are you friends with that girl?” Futakuchi was saying as they started to practice again, “she’s always angry. She's a psycho skater. You heard the rumor that she lit the principal's car on fire” Koganegawa growls “and that was just a rumor! She's a good person, sure she has mean vibes but she’s just a badass! She’s blunt and keeps me humble. She’s a good friend and you should see her play softball, she's insanely talented” he sets a ball to Aone perfectly to spike and the white haired boy hits it with so much force it slams against the gym floor. He didn’t like hearing Futakuchi bad mouth you, you were adorable and sweet, how could they not see that? “Focus guys come on” and with that their coach had silenced all talk unless it was vb related. 

“Ugh! Im so awkward! I thanked him! I thanked him for hitting me with a ball! God help me!” you think as you take your board out of the locker in the locker room, practice was finished and now it was time for classes, you make your way to your normal locker and stash your board there, leaning in, you rest your head against the board and books as you sigh defeatedly.

“Whats your problem?” Ko says coming up by you to his locker that was on your left, “did you fuck up stealing third again? Or maybe you’re feeling like an idiot because of your encounter with Aone earlier? Does someone have a crush?’ you growl and lean out of your locker “at least I wasn't caught with volleyballs in my shirt like boobs” you quip back and he gasps “that was one time!” he shouts and you scowl “yeah, sure, okay” you close your locker door and turn to him “if you tell anyone about this morning I’ll print off that picture and post it around school. Don't make me do something i would really enjoy” you smile sweetly before turning and heading down to your first class. 

After school you had more practice before showering and heading to the gym to wait for Ko, it was something you had done before but this time your stomach had flipped into knots thinking about Aone again. You wanted to run into him but at the same time you never wanted to see him again, you popped a cherry bubblegum lollipop into your mouth as you walked, your board under your arm. 

You stuck your head into the gym to see the team just standing and chatting, practice having just ended, you make eye contact with Aone and squeak as you pull your head back, pulling the sucker from your mouth as you lean against the other door that was closed, your heart racing and your cheeks already starting to feel warm. You weren't a shy person so why did he make you feel this way? You tried to calm your racing heart but before you could your heart footsteps approaching. 

Aone looked out the hallway, around the door to look down at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “Hi” you whisper before popping the sucker back into your mouth. You saw the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile as he walks out into the hallway to stand in front of you. “I- I uh” you stumble through our words, swallowing hard you took the sucker from your mouth again, your hands moving through the air as you spoke, “I’m sorry about earlier. When i was being awkward. I thanked you as I left, essentially thanking you for hitting me with a ball and that was... weird of me. Anyway I hope you dont think im weird now” you look down at your feet for a moment, your faded black and white slip on checkered vans tapping together at the toes, before looking back up into his kind eyes “do you? Uh i mean, do you think i'm weird now?”  you twist the sucker stick between your thumb and forefinger as you wait for his response. 

He shakes his head no and you smile, a sigh of relief passing your lips as you scratch behind your ear with your free hand “oh good!” you say “im glad” he reaches out, taking your hand gently in his hand, a look of concern as he inspects your palm which was now covered in tiny cuts. You chuckle softly and relax your hand in his “it wasn't because I fell” you realize after saying that, that it was because of a fall, just not that one, you hastily correct yourself, the awkward feeling in your body growing “I mean, it wasn't because of you making me fall, it was because of softball, I forgot my gloves today” 

The rest of the team exited the gym now, stopping when they see you two, Aone doesn't let go of your hand he continues his inspection as the rest of the team just watches. “Aone” you whisper after a few moments and then he looks back up at you then over at his team, sending them a look that says if they didn't just go he’d be mad, Koganegawa in the front put a skip in his step as he ran off towards the locker rooms, pulling Futakuchi behind him so he wouldn't stay behind and be a dick, the rest of the team following suit, all of them watching you two the whole way causing your cheeks to grow as red as possible.

 “Uh shouldn't you go as well?” you whisper and pop the sucker back in your mouth, he watches you actions and you smile softly “want one? I have grape, cherry, and watermelon” he nods and says “watermelon” you reach in your backpack and hand him a watermelon bubble gum lollipop and he bows a little before taking off the wrapper and putting it in his mouth, a smile forming on his lips as he enjoyed the flavor. “Thank you” he says, his voice a little whistle-y around the candy in his mouth and you nod “no problem” 

After that you brought him a watermelon sucker every day, making sure to stop in after practice every evening and give it to him, he looked so happy every time it made your heart soar, after a little while he started sitting by you in the cafeteria, your other softball and skater friends looking at you funny the first few times but soon didn't mind. Your angry badass persona would be replaced by bubbly shy and cute, three things you rarely were. 

“What is going on?” Futakuchi said one afternoon in the cafeteria as he looked over at you two together “I don’t get it.” another one of the team members says “She’s skater punk and will beat your ass and he's a quiet soft boy won’t hurt a fly” one of Futakuchi’s friends says through a huge bite of a sandwich. Ko just sighs “you guys should get to know her. She’d never hurt a fly either. She's actually quite afraid of confrontation as well unless she knows you or you really deserve it” after a moment Futakuchi says “i still don't see it”

Your phone beeps and you look down at it, it’s a text from Ko that just says “looking cozy ;)” you send him back a middle finger emoji. 

When you leave the cafeteria you turn to say goodbye to Aone but stop with the way he was looking at you, expectantly, like he wanted to say something but was too shy. You were about to ask him to walk you to class but the words couldn’t escape your mouth, your shy tongue keeping them in your throat. Koganegawa comes over and lightly shoves your shoulder. “Hey lovebirds” he says with a mischievous grin and you glare at him “what are you doing?” you ask him through your teeth, your cheeks growing warmer and he just chuckles “our y/n here is quite something huh?” he asks Aone to which he just nods once “I know a secret about her if you want to know it” your face turns totally red as you glare at the dumbass “Ko I swear to god if you don't shut your mouth” you seethe at him and he just laughs harder, sneaking to hide behind Aone and simultaneously standing on his tiptoes to whisper “she has a cruuush” your eyes go wide as you stare in horror at your supposed best friend, your cheeks red in embarrassment as Aone just looks down at you, confusion in his expression. “KO! Shut! Up!” you say and he shakes his head “on you” he finishes his sentence before taking off, you go to run after him but Aone just grabs your hand, keeping you next to him “is it.. True?” he asks and you look down at your shoes again, debating lying but you doubt you’ll get a better chance to confess, “yes” you whisper and after a few long seconds of silence you look up at him, meeting his eyes. 

 His cheeks are dusted pink as well as the tips of his ears and he has a small smile on his lips “I” his voice was a little too quiet so he clears his throat to try again “I like you too” he says and you feel your smile widen, going from ear to ear as you beam up at him “really?” you ask and he nods. You can't help but throw your arms around his middle and hug him in the middle of the hallway, he hugs you back gently, his big body almost engulfing yours. 

The bell rings for the first time and you pull back “will you walk me to my class?” you ask and he nods, smiling down at you with his eyes closed. You lace your fingers with his and begin walking again “to think this all started because you hit me with your volleyball and sent me flying off my skateboard” he sends you a look that says he was still sorry about that and you laugh, squeezing his hand as your cheeks turn red again “I'm not sorry about it Aone, so you shouldnt be either. I got to meet you and it was worth it.”  the tips of his ears turn red as his thumb brushes yours. You get a glimpse of Ko watching you down the hall very obviously taking photos of you guys and you remember what you told him you’d do if he ever told your secret, you squeeze Aone’s hand softly again and smile mischievously up at him, a smile he would come to know all too well, and say “so I have to do something a little, delinquent-y and I was wondering if you would help me? It’s a prank on Ko for spilling my secret”

[spooks-and-tea]

Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.11] The Final Chapter.

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, bad words, sexual situations (some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: Some big bad interrogation Spencer vibes. Thanks for reading. This chapter was short, so I just decided 2 chapter posts in one day. Let me know what you thought of the story~Pleeeeease no one repost on other sites without my permission.

Word Count: 2,015

Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7.  Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.  

************************************************************************After Spencer had disappeared, JJ was surprised, to say the least.

She held the unsub by the cuffs as he angrily spoke about Spencer's big genius brain solving an equation in 2 minutes which had taken himself a lifetime of work to figure out. She asked him where the machine had taken Spencer and he replied with all of this talk about quantum mechanics, particle waves, split dimensions, and voids. Stuff that Spencer had been info-dumping about for months, regarding the case.

All JJ cared to know about was if Spencer was safe, and to that the unsub just shrugged.

The first thing the team did when you all returned to the BAU was throw the unsub into an interrogation room.

Spencer was quick to volunteer as the only interrogator in the room, he argued this unsub would react the strongest to him.

The rest of the team were still flustered from all of this inter-dimensional information that Spencer had gone on about on the ride back. You had backed him up wholeheartedly and you were seemingly in great health after being gone for 5 months.

"Alright Reid, you seem to be the only one of us that has a good idea of what's going on. We'll watch from here, and if he gets too aggressive, we'll send someone else in," Hotch agreed.

You watched from the double sided mirror, the unsub was looking at it as if he could see you. You clenched your fists. He was the reason you'd nearly lost Spencer. He was the reason that Spencer looked sick from overworking and you had nightmares for 5 months straight.

"Hey, will you be okay in here?" Spencer lowered his voice to ask you. You had refused to stop holding his hand since you got here. He noticed your fist clenching tighter.

"I don't want him to take you away from me again," you replied.

"He's in handcuffs, and his machine is being collected for evidence. He isn't a wizard, he needs that machine like Nikola Tesla needs an inductor. He can't hurt us anymore," Spencer tried to comfort you, using the soft tone he knew you loved.

"Just don't take too long in there, and give him hell for me, alright?" You stood on your toes and kissed him.

He gave you a small smile and nodded.

You slowly slid your hand from his as he turned to walk out.

When he entered the interrogation room, he was no longer soft-Spencer.

The unsub didn't even turn to look at him, he was fixated on the double mirror. His eyes unnerved you.

You crossed your hands over your chest and leaned against the wall, deciding to keep your eyes steadily on Spencer.

"We know who you are." Spencer spoke. You smiled, recognizing that Spencer was turning the unsub's words to you against him.

Was Spencer purposefully trying to make you happy while he was in the middle of an interrogation?

"I know who you are as well, Dr. Reid," his gritty voice made your skin crawl.

"Good, then you should know that I understand the significance of the science experiments you've been conducting, Dr. Arnold Lynch. You've been labeled as a dangerous person to the entire world; a mad scientist." Spencer sat in a chair, his arms crossed.

"Now they listen." Lynch, rolled his eyes, finally looking at Spencer. His unimpressed gaze trailed up and down, sizing him up.

"I was like you once. Young, an impressive mind; maybe if I had found her sooner she would have loved me." Lynch added. He looked back to the mirror, you tasted bile at the back of your throat.

Spencer leaned forward in his chair, putting his elbows on the table.

"You're trying to change the subject." Spencer pointed out. "Tell me how all of this started. Tell me where your partner, Dr. Deborah Tryst, is hiding and how she helped you."

Lynch's eyes widened. "We were colleagues. She helped me build the machine, and I wrote the equations that made it work. We went in together, the first time."

"She tested the machine with you?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, we experimented. We tried to study the void space for years. Then, one day, a crack formed. Through that crack I saw her." The unsub looked towards you, seemingly locking eyes with you through the one-way glass.

"Y/N?" Spencer clarified.

"Correct. She was spectacular, the girl from a parallel dimension. We didn't know why the crack revealed her at first, but then we saw the string. It was barely noticeable, like a fishing line. It led from her dimensional crack to ours. All it took was a tug on that wire to know who the other end of that line connected to."

He was watching me? What a sick creep!

"Who?"

"Don't play stupid with me Doctor, I know you feel it."

Spencer swallowed, his eyes flicking to you for a moment.

"I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance. My colleague thought differently. Now that the cracks were open, she observed you both, she knew you both would feel-" he sighed, "-incomplete until you were in the same space. She decided to play matchmaker and ruin everything. I loved Y/N first. Y/N was mine and she was a beacon, a magnificent anomaly! I took her back so she could be my pet; so she would never be yours!" He angrily spat, slamming his fists onto the table. Spencer stood, seething. You felt similarly.

"You had no right!" Spencer's voice was deep and angry. You'd never heard him so angry, other than in the show.

"No, Tryst had no right bringing her to you in the first place!"

"Y/N wants to be here. This is her decision. If you're so convinced you love her, you would want what is best for her."

"What's best for her Dr. Reid, or what's best for you? Is she any better off fighting criminals for the BAU? A job she isn't trained for." He cruelly laughed. "Is putting her in danger just so you can fuck her every once in a while off-duty not selfish? You think I'm the selfish one, look at yourself. You're just expecting her to be the lawful Bonnie to your Clyde, how long until you drive her into a hail of bullets?" Lynch smirked.

Spencer's eyes widened and he gripped the table.

No Spence, don't let him get to you.

"That's it, I'm going in there." Morgan spoke up next to you.

Hotch held his hand up to block him; his eyes on Spencer. "Wait, let Spencer speak. He's getting the unsub to talk, and that's good."

Spencer quickly collected himself, his expression going blank.

"Where is Dr. Deborah Tryst?" Spencer asked.

"Ooh, did I strike a chord, Doctor?" Lynch chuckled, leaning back in his chair.

"Where is Dr. Deborah Tryst?" Spencer repeated, angrier.

"Probably playing matchmaker. There are an infinite amount of dimensions for her to play with." Lynch shrugged.

"She's still in the void?"

"Yup, she's the reason the crack sealed when you two went through. She trapped herself in there and made sure I could never go back. Whatever she's doing, we'll never know for sure because it is impossible to recreate the initial crack. You should know just how improbable it was to create one in the first place, Dr. Reid."

"So there is no further possibility of danger?"

"Not cosmically, but, for our impossible girl over there, who knows what kind of dangerous situations you will put her in." Lynch nodded to the double mirror.

"She is not yours and she will never be yours. We're putting you in a maximum security prison where you will never see her again. So you can sit in your cell for the rest of your life and remember that she's with me, not you." Spencer's eyes darkened. You wanted to end this fight and get him out of there. He was only getting angrier.

Hotch walked through the interrogation room door, holding it open. "Reid," was all he said.

That was it, Spencer had gotten a lengthy confession from the unsub. The details would come up during his trial.

Spencer stood up, not caring about the wobbling chair as he did so. He walked out of the room and you went to the hallway to meet him. You met him as he was stomping down the hall away from you. "Spencer!" You called, hurrying to follow him.

He made his way inside an empty meeting space and you quickly slipped in behind him; closing the door.

He loosened his tie and ran his hands through his hair. You let him cool off for a few moments.

"He's right. I am selfish." He sounded beyond angry, even guilty.

He leaned forward on the meeting table, clenching his fists against the wood.

"He was just trying to get the last word in. Don't pay his words any more attention." You spoke, softly; placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't work here. You're not properly trained for the high-intensity, high-risk situations."

"Then I can train. Anyways, I doubt Hotch is going to let me work here now that he knows," you said, sadly. You loved working here. You loved helping people and being with your BAU family. You loved Spencer's daily teasing.

"Being with me puts you in enough danger. I couldn't protect you. What's stopping something from happening to you again?" He looked up at you, though he was still hunched over the table.

"All the other times you protected me." You gave him a small smile. "When Chris threatened me, you confronted him. When I jumped into the lake, you stopped me from drowning. When I was stuck in my dimension, you rescued me from a life of being absolutely miserable without you. When the unsub first encountered us, you stood in front of me even though you couldn't see him. You've protected me far more times than you are choosing to acknowledge. I trust you with my life, Spence."

Spencer's shoulders fell as his breath evened out.

"I love you Y/N, I just don't want you to get hurt." Spencer whispered, his grip on the table loosening. He slowly stood up straight to look at you.

"We aren't some alternate justice-duo, Bonnie and Clyde. We're perfectly capable of protecting each other, and we aren't some crazy serial-killing, bank-robbing couple. We're Spencer and Y/N, the BAU's hottest couple." You spoke with exaggeration and winked.

Spencer gave you a small smile. His hair was a mess, his clothing was wrinkled, and his tie was undone.

"It's been a long day. Take me home?" You asked, giving him your best doe-eyes as you reached up to fix his tie.

"Oh. About that- you're apartment and all your money and assets are sorta gone now. You were presumed dead."

"I'm not talking about that place." You rolled your eyes; unaffected by the news.

You were used to being dirt poor anyways and that house was nothing but an empty shell.

"Home, with you," you explained.

"Oh."

Spencer broke out into a large grin. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a kiss. His coffee and woodsy-vanilla scent enveloped you like a warm hug. When he pulled away, he held his hand out to you.

"Come on then, I'll take you home."

Home, it was a strange concept. Your now-empty apartment in your dimension was once your home. You'd once almost drowned yourself to try to get back to that place.

Then you fell in love with Spencer, and living with him made you discover what a home truly was. It wasn't where you were from, it was the place you loved to be; the place you felt most comfortable, the most yourself.

Your home was in Spencer's dimension, Spencer's apartment, Spencer's arms, Spencer's everyday gestures, Spencer's smile, Spencer's late night chess games, Spencer's "I love you's," Spencer's raspy morning voice, Spencer's unruly hair, Spencer's hand kisses, Spencer's scrunched nose ticks, Spencer's info-dumps, Spencer's everything.

It was the most improbable circumstance and the one thing you were most thankful for. You got to spend your new life with Spencer.

In the end, Spencer Reid kept his promise; he did help you find your way home. Your way home to him.

[homeboundrunnerfive]

Zombies Run Secret Santa 2019!

@notforconsumption​ HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM YOUR SECRET SANTA! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! I had this idea about a “5 times...” including Five, Sara and Sam at about 5000 words similar to what I did for Secret Santa last year. But this was too much fun to write, and I couldn’t bear to end it before I felt that it was properly finished, and this piece wanted to be more than 5000 words. So therefore, I make this pledge to you: have this smaller preview of my ZR/pokémon crossover as your present for this Christmas Eve, and send me a scenario that you would like to see added in the final version of this piece and your Secret Santa will make it so! And lastly: big thanks to both you and @runnerzero for organising this wonderful Secret Santa exchange! 

Fandom: Zombies, Run! Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  Relationships: Runner Five/Sara Smith Characters: Sam Yao, Sara Smith, Runner Five, Simon Lauchlan, Janine DeLuca, Maxine Myers Additional Tags: Female Runner Five, Spoilers for Season 1, Mild Language, AU - Pokémon, Preview (or: remember that time probably at least a year ago when the fandom discussed the ZR/pokémon crossover?) Summary: Only by the very skin of her fucking teeth does Five make it in through the gates unscathed. Had guards on the wall not opened fire on the faster zoms directly behind her, she might not have made it inside at all. The second the gates close behind her, she actually lays down flat on her stomach to stop herself from vomiting. She has never run that fast before in her entire life, and her vision is flickering a little. The Cubone crawls out of her backpack as she pants heavily into the dirt, and jumps off of her to look around. After a few moments it gives her a sour look, seemingly deeming its new surroundings to be nothing all that special. ”If I had dropped you, this would have been a lot easier for me,” Five mutters to the Cubone. It returns her snarky remark by pulling out the bone and whacking her square in the head.

— S1M01 The transfer from Mullins Military Base to the smaller settlement of Abel Township is not starting out well. Five is a little disappointed in herself for actually being just the tiniest bit surprised by the fact that every single thing that could have gone wrong today has.

To be fair though, being shot down from the sky with a rocket launcher is a rather uncommon occurrence, so maybe she can’t take the blame for not predicting that one.

Which is a right shame, because what she can predict, Five will prepare for. For example, she knew that that arriving without a pokémon would elicit reactions and she had prepared herself for it. Pity and commiseration from some, assuming it was lost or killed in the chaos of Day Zero. Distain or suspicion from others, trying to rationalise how someone able to secure a spot at Mullins for themselves could be so negligent as to not provide for their pokémon. 

Others are just confused at the sight of someone without a pokémon in these trying times. Who wouldn’t want an immune companion to not only protect you, but to also love you and keep your spirits high?

Five had prepared for that eventuality. She had not prepared for parachuting out of a helicopter, nor arriving to Abel in a mad dash chased by one of the faster zoms she’s encountered so far.

Inside the gates she’s greeted proper by three individuals, though a lot of people attempt to quickly wheedle information or supplies off of her the moment she stumbles through the gates

“Hey! Good to see you in the flesh… the totally-unbroken, skin-not-bitten-by-zombies flesh, right? Step back, step back everyone, don’t crowd! Give Runner Five some space!“ She recognises the voice as the man guiding her from the crash to the gates, radio operator Sam Yao. ”You alright there?”

He’s a younger Asian man in his mid-twenties or so, with dark hair and friendly eyes. The vibrant orange colour of his hoodie sticks out in a very striking manner, and a Flaaffy and Minccino is peeking out from behind him. Five feels like he fits the image of what she had imagined someone with his voice would look like. Rather soft, unpretentious and… boyish. The chinchilla-like pokemón looks rather downcast, sitting on top of the Flaaffys woolly head.

Next is an African-American woman in a white lab coat, immediately relieving Five of the CDC files and giving her a bite check before welcoming her to Abel Township. Five catches a glimpse of pale gemstones and notices that the woman, Dr. Myers as she introduces herself, has a rather small Sableye clinging to her hip underneath the lab coat. The pokémon is watching Five cautiously, showing the slightest hint of teeth.

Last is a serious-looking woman with a stern face, dressed in practical clothing. While the doctor is performing Five’s bite check, the woman is speaking quietly with another equally impressive woman, seemingly a bit older, who is accompanied by a weathered Lucario. The older woman is carrying a firearm, discreetly hidden by her loose shirt in a holster strapped to her belt. Five only notices because she has gotten into the habit of looking for threats, no matter the surroundings.

”Welcome to Abel Township. My name is Janine De Luca,” says the serious-looking woman. At her feet, an Umbreon is standing at attention like a guard dog, staring Five down. ”We have much to discuss.”

Five knows better than to hope for good things by now. But so far, so good, she thinks.

— S1M07

Only a few weeks into her transfer, disaster strikes.

Janine De Luca, one of the authorities of Abel Township, had sent her out on a mission to make contact with a member of a supposed rebel group within the neighbouring settlement of New Canton under the guise of picking up a cache of electrical supplies. Unsurprisingly to at least Five,  who has learned to expect the worst of every situation given the state of the post-apocalyptic world, the rendezvous ends up with her having to flee for her life in the completely opposite direction of Abel Township while dodging automatic gunfire.

It takes a solid hour of running through extremely taxing natural terrain before Five feels confident that she is out of the woods, and by that point she is out of the scanner range Sam was talking about. Her headset took a hit when she smacked into a low-hanging branch in her hurry, and it seems to have been damaging enough to disable her transmitter. To further emphasise the vulnerability of her situation, the sun has now fully set beyond the western horizon and midnight is closing in. The moon working its way across the starry sky provides some light, but not enough by far.

”Runner Five… I don’t know if you can hear me. Our scanner’s down,” Sams voice starts again over the headset. He’s been checking in periodically, voice growing more and more despondent each time he goes without a response. Something bleats weakly in the background, and Five imagines Sam stroking the soft coat of his Flaaffy as he flips between monitors. ”It never works that well at night anyway, and a couple of bits of equipment have broken down, so… so there’s no way to see where you are. Truth is, I… I don’t even know if you’re alive. Odds aren’t good, right?”

He would have lost sight of her the moment she fled into the dense forest, Five thinks, so for all he knows she could have been shot dead the second she exited his camera coverage. The odds for her survival, as he said, were certainly not optimal.

Mustering what little strength she has left, she forces herself into a slow jog towards a more defensible position to take a much needed rest to catch her breath. On a hill, about half a kilometre away, under the roots of a large tree growing on the incline Five can see something similar to a makeshift burrow. It isn’t ideal, but the surrounding trees are much too bare for her to climb without some sort of equipment, so a dirty hole in the ground to keep her back free will have to do for now. After listening intently for a moment, she feels certain there are no zombies nearby. No groaning moans, no shuffling steps and no crinkling leaves.

”You’re not even my second Runner Five, you know that? You’re my fourth. I guess there’s no better reason you’d make it back than any of the others,” Sam sighs, and Five thinks that even if her transmitter wasn’t smashed, she wouldn’t respond to that. It’s true. She’s no more likely to survive the night that anyone else in her position.

Doesn’t mean she isn’t going to try.

Five pulls the axe from her back, keeping her pack on, before sitting down on the ground and leaning back against one of the thick roots. Her legs are almost numb, and her breaths are still coming out ragged. For the moment she feels very warm, but Five knows the sweat on her skin will soon cool and bring her body temperature down. She can’t allow herself to stay still for more than a few minutes, but that will be all she needs. In her head, she’s already mapping out the route back to Abel.

Something hard hesitantly pokes her lower thigh. Her muscles tense instantly and she chokes up  the grip on her axe, bouncing into a defensive crouch.

In the dark, she can only make out two narrowed eyes staring suspiciously at her and a small silhouette sitting further inside the burrow. Whatever poked her has been retracted back into the shadows. Then, a white stick strikes out with lightning speed and hits against the metal head of her axe, sending the smallest of vibrations down into her hands.

The noise isn’t too bad, but it breaks the absolute silence of the woods in a way that puts Five on edge.

She backs up a few steps, standing up as she does, and slowly raises her axe into a batting position. The small figure, interestingly enough, mirrors her movements perfectly.

Chancing a quick look around, Five can’t see anything shambling towards her position, which is good. Whatever tiny little creature drove her out of the burrow seems almost as guarded as she is, holding their little stick poised for another strike. She takes a few moments to carefully study the shape. The very top of the creature would barely reach up to her knees. Humanoid in form, bipedal, gripping what looks like a small bat, and a rather lumpy head with small horns. Too small to be a zombie, and too clever to be an animal.

Five tries to cycle through her passable knowledge of different Pokémon species native to England, and she doesn’t have to think very long before the answer comes to her. She’s invaded the little underground home of a Cubone. From what she can remember, they aren’t very social and prefer to keep to themselves. What she thought was a stick poking her was most likely a bone, then.

”So… I’m just going to keep talking for a while. I mean, for all I know, I could be talking into the ear of a zombie. But, hey —” Sam starts again, and Five slowly reaches up to mute the signal for just a moment to keep her concentration on the situation at hand.

Sinking down to her knees, Five exaggeratedly places the axe down to rest on the leafy ground before raising both hands in a placating manner towards the Cubone. The universal sign for ’I don’t want any trouble.’ Not because she is in the slightest intimidated by this tiny thing, armed as she is, but because any loud noises will draw zombies in and force her to start running before she’s had a chance to catch her breath.

The pokémon doesn’t lower the bone its holding, but takes a few steps forward to the mouth of the burrow. In the moonlight, Five can spot a rather large gash on the left arm stretching all the way down to the hand. Not too deep a cut, but most likely infected by the look of it, and probably rather painful.

It tugs at her heartstrings. The only way for her to survive the night is to make it back home to Abel before they bar the gates, so there is really no reason to be stingy with her rations. Starvation or exposure is not what will kill her. Slowly, as to not startle the Cubone, she combs through her pack until she finds what she’s looking for. A protein bar, the first and only one she's gotten since she was made a runner and therefore prioritised concerning nutrition compared to other assignments in the township.

She unmutes her headset at the reminder of Abel.

Disinfectant or bandages would be better, but snacks is all that she has to offer. The process of opening the wrapper quietly is tedious, but after half a minute she has the bar uncovered in her hand. Most likely expired, since the chocolate coating is cracked and flaking away with every slight jostle, but a treasure all the same. Keeping her palm flat, she holds it out as far as she can from herself and waits for almost a full minute.

The Cubone only stares defiantly, staying firmly put.

”I called you my friend just before, didn’t I?” Sam says through some slight static, sounding a touch less relaxed than he normally does, seemingly about to go off on a more rambling kind of tangent. ”Is that cool with you? I mean… well, I’m definitely not your friend if you’ve gone gray. But I feel like we have a kind of… simpatico… something? Not that we’ve ever really talked. I guess we’re talking now. So… yeah, well, let’s just talk like normal people, like… buddies, or something,”  

At least someone wants to be my friends, she thinks sullenly as the pokémon continues giving her the evil eye. Sighing, Five tosses the protein bar towards the Cubone, only slightly wincing at the fact that she threw actual good food on the forest floor before sitting back down. If the pokémon dislikes intruders this much, its behaviour should alert her to any incoming zombies. She figures she’ll be better off taking that little rest here than spending precious time finding another spot, even if she no longer has her back free.

It takes a few moments of apprehensive investigation, but eventually the Cubone starts nibbling on the protein bar while still keeping a watchful eye on her. She mostly ignores it and turns her back to keep lookout of her surroundings, fairly certain the pokémon won’t be bothering her further for the short time she intends to stay.

Unsurprisingly, the minutes pass by much too quickly, and her muscles still scream with complaints as she gets to her feet. The Cubone has finished its snack, and seems to have been emboldened by her tribute. Waddling forward, it sticks its hands down her backpack and starts searching for more treats.

”Get off,” Five mumbles and makes shooing motions. The Cubone pauses to nail her with the most unimpressed look she has ever seen a pokémon make, and continues rooting around. Five’s pretty certain the only thing she has left in there by now is her half-empty bottle of water, but it’s the principle of the thing. She was issued that equipment by Janine, and Five is still very determined to make a good impression on that woman.  

She hadn’t tried hard enough back at Mullins. Five will not make the same mistake twice.

”That’s mine, and I’m going,” she says, more firm this time, and grabs the closest strap to pull the backpack away from the Cubone. Before she can even attempt to stop it, the pokémon has not only tugged the pack from her, it has decisively climbed into it and given her an indignant harrumph. It reminds her of a stubborn toddler, which is unfortunate. She doesn’t have very much experience dealing with those kinds of tantrums. Five resists rubbing her temples in frustration.

”It’s mine, and it’s coming with me. Get out.”

They lock eyes, and a silent battle of willpower ensues.

The absolute absurdity of the situation is that Five doesn’t actually have the upper hand here. She needs to get back to Abel before they bar the gates, and it’ll take her a good hour of running in the dark as it is.

Moments pass.

Nothing happens.

”Fine then.” With a forceful yank, she expeditiously tugs the pack onto her back, passenger and all, and secures the hip belt around her waist to balance her centre of gravity with the added weight. It’s not too heavy, but definitely enough to make a difference while running. The head is poking out of the top, giving her a fierce glare. ”You’ll come to see it my way.”

The next hour is a little strange, to say the least. Occasionally, the Cubone will grunt in annoyance and rap at her shoulders with its held bone, but it makes no attempt to get out of the backpack. She fortunately only has to reroute twice after spotting smaller packs of zoms in the distance, and during those tenser moments the pokémon is surprisingly quiet. Sam continues checking in, making either morbid or hilarious monologues in her headset. For some bizarre reason, it does keep her spirits up. If he’s still talking to her, it means the gates haven’t been barred yet. Even if his chosen topics for conversation are disheartening for the most part.

When she gets close enough to Abel to see the light on top the tower guiding her back home, she’s picked up quite a trail of zombies, despite her attempts to circumvent any encounters.

”— but I’ve gotta be honest… we’re losing hope here.” Five is now only registering bits and pieces of what Sam is talking about, mostly concerned about keeping a safe distance ahead of her groaning pursuers. ”A couple of zoms have arrived at the gates, and that usually means the bigger horde is on its way. Maybe only a few minutes ‘til we bar the gate.”

That, however, she does hear loud and clear.

It means she’s still got a chance. All she has to do to make it is run fast enough.

Only by the very skin of her fucking teeth does Five make it in through the gates unscathed. Had guards on the wall not opened fire on the faster zoms directly behind her, she might not have made it inside at all. The second the gates close behind her, she actually lays down flat on her stomach to stop herself from vomiting. She has never run that fast before in her entire life, and her vision is flickering a little.

The Cubone crawls out of her backpack as she pants heavily into the dirt, and jumps off of her to look around. After a few moments it gives her a sour look, seemingly deeming its new surroundings to be nothing all that special.

”If I had dropped you, this would have been a lot easier for me,” Five mutters to the Cubone. It returns her snarky remark by pulling out the bone and whacking her square in the head.

— S1M10

Five is having a tough time figuring the new Cubone out, and the pokémon seems to actively be trying to infuriate her.

While bringing it into the township had been no issue with Janine, the question of ownership and training was apparently of more import. No rogue inhabitants in her township, she had said. Five had not been particularly adamant about claiming the Cubone for herself, given the apparent distaste of her the pokémon seemed to harbour. It almost seemed like whenever an opportunity to obstruct her presented itself, the Cubone would take it and then give her a smug look afterwards. So it seemed the safer bet to place it in the communal building rather than with her.

But after a few days, it was perfectly clear the Cubone was not fine with living in the communal building, nor socialising with the other collectively owned pokémon. The sharp, angry cries throughout the nights attracted zombies to such a degree that they actually had to send runners on emergency missions for ammunition to keep up.

A few people did try to befriend the Cubone, but to no avail. All attempts were rebuffed, with varying degrees of violence and threatening behaviour. Simon suffered a rather unfortunate injury to his groin trying to charm the pokémon, both scaring and upsetting his own tenderhearted Sylveon. After that incident, there weren’t many volunteers.

So now the responsibility has once again circled around to Five.

Things are not going well. The only two things she has managed to understand is that the Cubone is a male, and that it seems to dislike everything and everyone. It seems content to follow her around at a distance, but makes a scene when she tries to get close. Strangely enough, it seems to have no problem climbing onto her back whenever the pokémon feels like it. Touching that is not initiated by the Cubone, though, is out of the question, prompting wild swings with the bone. Any conversation or commands are met with glowering or growling. In short, the Cubone is completely dominating her, her life and all their interactions at his own very unpredictable whims.

Many people offered her tips, all delivered in a rather delicate manner as to not imply any incompetence on her part which Five feels is more or less unnecessary at this point. Chris McShell had given her a long and detailed lecture on abstract pokémon psychology. Evan gave her different training exercises to establish respect and dominance, demonstrating them to her with his impressively obedient Growlithe Bonnie. Jody and Sam offered a plethora of bonding exercises, most of which just seemed to be different forms of cuddling. Five did not point out that neither of their pokémon come equipped with their very own weapons, and simply enjoyed watching Jody hugging her soft and sweet Audino.

In the end though, all suggestions proved to be equally useless.

Presently, Five is sitting on the ground with her back against the wall of the mess hall. Cubone is sitting a few meters away, and a silent battle of wills is raging.

They’ve been at it for days. The pokémon is as stubborn — possibly even more so — than Five.

”I don’t want to do this,” Five says, fingers playing with the laces of her trainers. ”I’m tired. If you don’t like me, leave. If you don’t like this place, leave.”

She’s ignored very pointedly by Cubone, who is drawing something in the dirt with its bone. From Five’s poor perspective on the ground it looks like nothing but squiggly lines.

”Things are a certain way in Abel. You’ll have to find a place. You can’t have things your way here.”

Narrowed eyes glare at her from beneath the large skull adorning its head, and if looks could kill, she’d be more dead than the corpses shambling outside the walls. At least she knows Cubone understands her, even if all that she receives in return for her words are defiance. The pokémon resolutely turns its back on her with a familiar harrumph, continuing to draw in the dirt.  

”I would have thought you’d be better at this than you are. I’m surprised, Five. And that doesn’t happen too often, you know,” Sara grins, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms. By her side her companion Lucario does the same, and the two of them just radiate an aura of smugness.

Five scrambles to her feet and locks her arms behind her back in a courteous manner, feeling incredibly stiff and awkward about the forced formality. It’s still a little early to act too casual with superiors in Five’s opinion, even though her military ID has been recovered and Sara herself has expressed in so many words how laughable this kind of ”boot-licking” behaviour looked on someone as physically imposing as Five. Yet, she snaps into place on instinct. Cubone flinches violently as she moves suddenly to break their staring match, and turns to glare suspiciously at the newcomers with narrowed eyes.

”I apologise,” replies Five, keeping her eyes on her trainers. ”I am having more difficulty that I would have thought.”

”The difference really is night and day, wouldn’t you agree, Donal? Like a roaring lion and a cowering house cat. It really is frustrating,” Sara says offhandedly to her companion, before pointedly leaning her head to catch Five’s gaze as she does so. ”We do things differently here, Five, and I don’t want to have to go through this little song and dance every time I see you inside the gates. This is not Mullins. Act like a normal human being. No one is going to have you shot in your sleep for mouthing off or slouching. So please, honey, at ease, now.”

Chancing a quick glance, Five catches Sara’s eyes. They are brown, filled with mirth and just deep enough to hide something seriously menacing behind those twinkles of amusement. There’s a layer of subtext that Five has become quite adept at understanding at this point, even though there are few women Five has met that are quite as contradictory as Sara Smith.

Two sides of the same coin show their faces whenever she speaks. The gentle but stern reminder that Five won’t be shot in her sleep for mouthing off also serves as a warning to remind her that other things might be enough to earn her a bullet in the back of the head. The complimentary comparison to the king of the jungle during missions is also a barbed statement about her positively spineless behaviour within the walls of Abel Township.

”I understand.”

Sara lets out a small chuckle. ”Slow learner, and stubborn to boot. That’s fine, Five. Not entirely unlike this Cubone here, judging by the way things are going,” she says, turning to her Lucario to share a look. ”Donal and I never had these problems, did we?”

It’s difficult to pinpoint why, but the comment strikes a raw nerve within Five. Perhaps its her lifelong habit of people-pleasing that takes offence at her obvious failure, or her very frail yet still very much alive ego taking a targeted hit from someone she very much admires, or perhaps it is simply the drop that makes the cup run over for whatever reason. Either way, Sara’s words have found purchase beneath Five’s armor and like a frightened animal she strikes out on instinct, barely registering the words as they pass her lips.

”Military issue espionage pokémon are trained from birth in obedience, I’ve read. Must make training a breeze. But that has nothing to do with you, I’m sure,” Five bites out while keeping her eyes to the ground. Later, she will regret giving lip to one of the more influential and possibly lethal figures of the township, but for now Five is wallowing in self-pity and unable to care about the intricate policies of the apocalypse. Even though she has technically been officially encouraged several times to be slightly less deferential in public as to not attract attention to Project Greenshoot.

Sara gives her a sly smile, eyes twinkling. ”None of your concern, now is it? What I will say is that you are going about this the wrong way. Of course, I could give you a few pointers. Unless you prefer to continue this hopeless exercise in frustration. Up to you.”

Five reigns herself in, says nothing this time. Every single time she has opens her dumb mouth things turn sour, sooner or later.

”Lucario are an extremely capable and skilled pokémon species, and exceptionally rare at that. They are omnivores, though meat is very much preferable. Usually they live in smaller packs in the deep mountains away from the hustle and bustle of civilisation, and their unique ability to read and manipulate auras is unparalleled. Highly intelligent, my darling Donal more so than most I would say, able to understand and even communicate complex, abstract concepts. Most Lucario seem to have a natural sense of justice, and will react badly when training is not mutually beneficial to trainer and pokémon.” The Lucario has left her side to circle around the hesitant Cubone with a calculating look on its face as Sara speaks. ”This is just the smallest piece of knowledge that I have about the species of my pokémon. Useless information for you, of course. And yet, I keep droning on and on about all the things that I know, and you don’t. Seems like quite a dull thing to do in this kind of sticky situation, no?”

Five quickly schools her face into a more neutral expression, having unconsciously tightened her lips into the slightest scowl during Sara’s monologue.

”You don’t know anything about the Cubone species, so let’s skip that entire lecture for now. I’m sure a capable runner like yourself will be able to get your hands on that kind of information without having to bruise your ego asking me for it. So let’s look at what you do know instead, hm?” Sara continues, ignoring the low growl coming from Cubone as Lucario stops to study it. ”You intruded on an injured Cubone’s territory after nightfall, where he was all alone in a ditch far from both people and pokémon. You fed him scraps, and he climbed into your backpack and refused to be left behind. Strange thing, I’ll give you that. Here at Abel, he seems… let’s just call it displeased for lack of more polite terms, to be in the communal building. In other words, he doesn’t mingle well with strangers. Other people that have tried to gain his favour and trust have gotten nothing but sullen stares and the occasional light beating. Wherever you go, he follows at a distance, and grows defensive when you try to get close.”

It is becoming increasingly obvious where Sara is going with this guessing game to Five, and the impending conclusion is not something she is inclined to take to heart at this point in time. Maybe at all. In the zombie apocalypse, people can die whenever, so if Five’s lucky she’ll be grey before she’ll have to face her own flaws.

”I could give you my take on things, of course. Standing by my side is a disciplined and loyal pokémon, and you’ve got an armoured little gremlin following you around like a shadow, beating you with a stick whenever he damn well feels like it. You have to admit that’s funny.”

There’s a long pause, and it is almost enough to make sweat start beading at Five’s forehead but her lips won’t move. What admission Sara wants her to come to is not difficult to understand, but the strings of correct words dancing through her brain don’t seem to make their way down to her mouth.

Pride and shame battle fiercely within her. Five is locked between feeling completely unable to admit to any kind of vulnerability, while also simultaneously terrified to portray herself as devoid of empathy. Her tongue feels heavy and swollen resting behind flat teeth that aren’t sharp enough to tear through flesh and bone.

A few seconds pass that are long enough to draw every single breath of air from her lungs.

The result is pathetic. Absolute silence.

”It’s referred to as the lonely pokémon, did you know? Curious thing, in my opinion.” Sara inspects her fingernails in a very pointed manner, before catching Five’s eyes in a way that makes it clear she is not to look away.

It makes her squirm, and a knot is growing in her stomach.

”Alarmed at the thought of having a companion that is similar enough to you that it might actually  understand and know you?” Sara’s voice is teasing at the surface, but sharp and calculating beneath it. ”Or maybe you simply don’t want a pokémon that is like you because you think you, and by extension it, is broken and bad?”

The knot settles firmly in the centre of Five’s stomach, making her feel ill.

Suddenly, a loud horn blares through the silence for one short signal, followed by Janine’s voice booming over the intercoms accompanied by gunshots in the distance. ”Calling Runner Five! Or Runner Eight! Or both. Runner Five and Runner Eight, report to the gates!”

Only seconds after that, Janine’s voice starts filtering through her headset, which Five quickly pulls up over her ears to listen properly. Sara has already done the same, and motions for Five to follow over her shoulder as she and her pokémon turn to jog towards the gates. ”Runner Five and Runner Eight, urgent assignment! Sam’s on a rest period, but we’ve discovered a traitor in the camp. We need you to chase her down before she gets away!”

”Copy that, Janine. On my way,” Sara answers, and turns to shout at Five over her shoulder. ”Come on, Five, let’s get going. And don’t you worry, we’ll save this little game of ours for a later date.”

Five takes off after her, only stumbling on the first step.

From this perspective up above as she passes them by, the scribbles Cubone made in the dirt  earlier looks like a pair of vaguely humanoid, thick figures, one larger and one smaller, both wearing bulky helmets.

After a few seconds, a quick pattering behind Five gives her a moment to prepare before a heavy weight lands on her back and small hands claw into her shoulders like vices. She steadies herself and starts running.

— S1M19

The ceremony for Chris McShell is held on a foggy day, and the dim skies accurately reflect the mood of the runners returning from the forest walking through the gates. Most are met by their pokémon at the gates, thankful for whatever comfort they are given.

Five is silently thankful that Chris was one of the few in the township to not have a pokémon. She is feeling raw as it is, and the thought of watching a confused companion looking for someone that’s not coming back cuts like a knife. Without words, her Cubone crawls into her arms and settles in, filling her with warmth. It’s not enough to thaw the small pinprick of cold somewhere deep inside her chest, but it feels marginally better.  

She listened to him die. Sam didn’t cut the feed.

Somewhere in the world, he might have had a daughter waiting for him. More likely is that he will be joining her amongst the dead.

Five showers without really taking notice of the icy temperature. The stiff sensations in her limbs actually makes it easier to remember that she does inhabit a body, and that she is here. Every time her boots hit the ground she becomes more heavy and solid, grounding her in reality. Her Cubone is shadowing her every step, for once not climbing over her frame to take a seat on her shoulders like he usually does. Strangely enough, Five thinks, the weight on her shoulders feels heavier than usual even so.

The bell rings, and Five follows routinely. A haze has settled over her mind, and it’s enough to dull her senses to the person quickly approaching her from the left. Sara catches her by the arm as she walks mindlessly to the mess hall, holding her firmly enough to not be easily brushed off. Her Lucario walks up behind Sara, and the usual silent staring contest ensues between their two pokémon.

”Hey there, Five,” Sara greets her, and the little sparkle in her eye is familiar enough to let Five know that she’s got a mission. ”I won’t keep you for too long. We’re expected, after all.”

Squinting at the last rays of the evening sun, Sara takes her sweet time before continuing as the light illuminates her rugged features. A breeze moves past the four of them, and Five feels like an ancient statue. Like someone that has been rooted in place for millennia, muscles of heavy stone, growing moss and collecting dirt.

”It feels good not to be the only one left who knows my boys’ faces. We remember them, don’t we Donal?” Sara says fondly, and her Lucario looks away from Cubone to respond with a short nod. There’s a faraway look in her eyes, and it takes Five a moment to actually register the words. It’s not every day that Sara speaks of her family, let alone her sons. ”Someone must, I should think.”

There’s a beat, and Five waits. She has learned that Sara usually takes her time setting the mood before getting to her point when she doles out her wisdom.

Sara exhales evenly, letting her hand fall from Five’s arm after clapping her on the shoulder. ”If you’re the only one thinking about them sitting all alone in your room, it’s mourning. But if you’ve got someone to share the memories with, you’re celebrating them. That’s my take on it, anyway.”

Furrowing her brow just the tiniest bit, Five tries to put the pieces together. It could be that she is being admonished for isolating herself with her grief, but that is an unfair assumption. Sara can’t have missed that she caught Five as she was going to the mess hall, where the atmosphere of loss is the thickest. She pulls her arms closer to her sides, jaw clenching slightly with tension.

Sara tilts her head, and gives her a look that Five can’t discern the intent behind, before nodding towards the ramshackle building. ”Don’t just be there, Five. Be present. It’s bad at first, I’ll give you that much. But it’s better in the long run.”

Turning on her heel with her Lucario following close behind, Sara leaves Five in the dust as she casually strolls through the doorway. Five stares intently at the ground, unwilling to risk meeting Sara’s eyes should she glance back for one last look.

Her advice is not lost on Five, and in most circumstances it would be marvellous and healthy advice. But for Five, it’s only words in the wind. She’s not strong enough to be present in the face of this kind of grief. There’s barely enough left of her inside to keep her going through the days as it is. There is no energy nor will left to spare on mental health after the taxing realities of the zombie apocalypse.

Looking down at her solid feet, planted on the ground, there is Cubone looking back up at her with solemn eyes.

She won’t do be able to do what Sara is asking, she thinks as she bends down to scoop her pokémon up into her arms. It’s not even worth trying.

Five still walks into the mess hall, though. Her chest is warmer, and the Cubone clings to her shirt.

[obsessive-fics]

Title: Creature of the Night

Summary: Phil is the monster under Dan’s bed

Rating: T

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: @obsessivelymoody  asked me what the weirdest AU I’d ever come up with was, so I wrote it

I couldn't finish this in time for the Halloween flash fest due to a family emergency, but I still really wanted to post it, so here it is! Happy Halloween everyone

[Read on Ao3]

“I’m telling you, there’s a monster under there!” Aiden Insisted for about the tenth time that night. Their parents were at a Halloween party, meaning Dan was left to babysit, and Aiden had gotten out of bed at least three times, claiming there was a monster under there.

“And I’m telling you monsters aren’t real,” Dan said for the millionth time that night barely looking up from the horror game he was playing. Not only had his parents uprooted his entire life, choosing to move away almost two months into term, they’d left him on babysitting duty so he couldn’t even sit in his room in the dark listening to music and being mad at them. No, instead he was trying to look over Aiden’s head to kill the zombie that was coming towards him.

“Dan! Please, I’m scared,” Aiden insisted, his voice wobbling, and since he wasn’t completely heartless, Dan sighed and put the controller down.

“I’ll tell you what. The monster’s under your bed, right?” he asked, and Aiden nodded.

“You sleep in my room, and I’ll stay in your room and catch the monster,” Dan told him, and he could see the relief wash over his little brother’s face, followed by cold determination.

“We have to set a trap,” Aiden said, nodding seriously.

“We… What?”

“Monsters can’t be out when the lights on, we can use that,” Aiden continued, dragging Dan towards the kitchen.

And that was how Dan found himself laying in Aiden’s entirely too small bed, an elaborate trap rigged up around him.

“When he jumps up, hit the switch and the lights will turn on. He can’t be in the light really long, so just get him to agree to go away, and then hit the switch again,” Aiden explained, and Dan nodded, coming to the realization that his brother was way smarter than he’d been at ten years old.

“Okay, got it. Now come on, into bed, or Mum and Dad won’t let you go trick or treating,” Dan replied, putting the switch down.

“I can’t move, the monster’s glued me to the floor,” Aiden said, holding his arms up.

“Alright, hop on.” Dan turned around, squatting onto the floor and Aiden hopped up onto his back. He ran down the hall to his bedroom, and dropped Aiden down on the bed, who laughed delightedly.

“Okay, I’m serious now. Time for bed,” Dan told him, again.

“I’m already sleeping,” Aiden said, laying down and closing his eyes. This lasted for about a second before he sat back up again. “Hey, Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for doing this for me,” Aiden told him, and Dan would never admit this, but he’d pretend to trap a hundred monsters for that kid.

“Anytime. Good night,” he said, turning off the light.

“Good night.”

Dan had been laying in Aiden’s bed for about an hour now, and he couldn’t sleep at all. Obviously, there wasn’t a monster in there, that would be ridiculous. Still, something was making him feel uneasy. Maybe he just needed a drink. He was about to get up to get a glass of water when the bed started shaking.

“Boo! Wait, you’re not Aiden.”

“What the fuck!” Dan shouted, sitting up. There was a… Guy? Creature? Sitting at the end of the bed- everything about him was blue, from his scaly skin, to the eyes curiously peering at Dan, who was trying very, very hard not to faint.

“I’m dreaming. This is just a nightmare. Fucking Nightcrawler isn’t actually in my bed right now,” Dan muttered to himself, looking around frantically. Where the hell was that switch?

“Of course Nightcrawler isn’t here, the x-men aren’t real,” the creature said, looking confused.

“I’ve lost my fucking mind,” Dan said, finally finding the switch.

“No! Please don’t turn the light on,” the creature begged, and he looked so scared, Dan hesitated.

“Who are you, what do you want, and why is my brother so scared of you?” Dan asked, holding the switch up threateningly.

“I’m Phil- I don’t really know how to answer those last two questions, this is just my job,” the creature- Phil explained, holding his legs up to his chest.

“It’s… Your job? Like you do this for a living?” Dan asked, putting the switch down. Whatever this guy was, he seemed pretty harmless. Actually, it seemed like he didn’t want to be there at all.

“Yeah. We each get assigned a child and we’re supposed to scare them. I’m not very good at it though, Aiden is my third reassignment,” Phil explained.

“You get assigned children to… Like Monsters Inc?”

“Kind of? We don’t need screams. But we’re monsters- if we’re not doing monster things, we stop existing.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, my brother is completely terrified of you,”  Dan told him, shrugging. He had no idea why he was trying to be comforting, Phil just looked so dejected about the whole thing.

“Really?” Phil asked, looking up at him hopefully.

“Yeah, why do you think I’m here trying to trap you?”

“That’s great! Well, I’m sorry about your brother, but I really needed this one to work out. Maybe everyone will be a little nicer once they find out I've actually scared someone."

“They aren’t… Nice to you where you come from?”

“I mean, some of the others are okay. But no one wants to be friends with a monster that’s not scary,”  Phil explained, looking down sadly.

“Oh. Well… I’ll be your friend. I guess,” Dan offered, after a minute. He didn't know what it was about Phil that made him instantly want to fix whatever was making him sad.

“Really?” Phil asked excitedly. 

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen tonight. I’m Dan.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Dan, 17 years old, older brother, potential threat,” Phil recited.

“I’m sorry, what?” Dan asked, confused. He was about as threatening as a teletubby.

“We have to watch out for older siblings. You’re more likely to believe the child, and unlike parents, you can see us,” Phil explained, and Dan nodded, because sure, why not? Apparently there was a whole monster community keeping tabs on him in case he decided to wage war on them or something.

“Well, since we’re friends now, do you wanna see something cool? I’ve never had a friend before,” Phil continued, completely oblivious to the huge crisis Dan was having right now.

“Do I have to?”

“No, but I’m here until morning. So I could wake Aiden up, or we could-”

“Okay fine, let’s go. The last thing I need is Aiden still being up when my parents get home,” Dan said, standing up.

“Take my hand,” Phil instructed. Once they were standing next to each other, Dan noticed that they were about the same height, which either meant monsters were of way more average height than he thought, or he really was freakishly tall. He also noticed Phil had a tail, because you know, of course he did.

“Why?” Dan asked, but he obliged anyway. This was either a very, very vivid dream, or he’d completely lost his mind. Either way, nothing to do but go for it.

“So I can bring you into our world. Ready?” Phil asked, bending down to the floor, pulling, Dan down with him.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Phil crawled down under the bed, and then took Dan’s hand again. The next thing he knew, Dan was falling.

“Fun, right?” Phil asked as they continued to plummet to God knows where. Dan, who was putting all of his energy into not screaming, stayed silent. Finally, after it felt like they’d been falling for ages, they landed on a mattress in what looked pretty much like a regular town.

“So, this is your world? I was picturing more Halloweentown,” Dan said, standing up, and looking around.

“You watch a lot of movies,” Phil observed, climbing down of the mattress. Dan shrugged, following suit.

“You’re the one catching all my references,” he pointed out. Phil took his hand again, and started walking.

“That’s where everyone plays Monster Ball,” he said, gesturing to what looked like a baseball field. “I’m actually banned from playing. Too many injuries.”

“Yours or others?” Dan asked, and Phil shrugged.

“Both,” he said after a minute, which made Dan laugh. He realized Phil was staring at him intently, and he felt his face start to heat up.

“What?”

“Nothing. I like your laugh. I don’t get to hear laughter a lot,” Phil admitted, looking down, and for someone reason that made Dan really said. He squeezed Phil’s hand in an attempt to be comforting, but that just alerted him to the fact they were holding hands again.

“Uh, Phil?”

“Hmm?” Phil asked distractedly.

“Why are we holding hands now?”

“Oh.. Yeah, I thought it’d be easier to stay together this way. Do you mind?”

“Uh, no, I guess not,” Dan said, and he really needed to get out more. He felt twelve years old again- holding hands with someone didn’t mean anything. It probably meant even less to monsters, and even if it didn’t, why would he want it to mean something?

“Are you okay? Your heart rate’s gone up,” Phil asked, looking over at him.

“You can hear my heartbeat. Of course you can.”

“It helps to know if someone’s scared. Not all kids scream.”

“Right. Of course. How long have you been doing this anyway?” Dan asked as they walked.

“Not long. I’m only a hundred and eighteen,” Phil told him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right. Only,” Dan replied, nodding slowly. This was shaping up to be the weirdest night of his life. He was in some sort of alternate dimension, with no way to get home, at the mercy of (an admittedly sweet and endearing), but still. A monster.

“Okay! This way,” Phil said, dragging him along.

“Where exactly are we going?” Dan wondered when they got to a ladder.

“This is where I live- well, it’s where I got banished to. Between the monster ball, and the whole not being scary thing, the others don’t really want to be around me,” Phil explained, starting to climb.

“Exactly how high up does this go?” Dan asked, after it felt like they’d been climbing forever.

“Just a few more steps,” Phil told him, and before long, they were coming up on what was basically just a room. There was a bed, and a huge window, and a huge pile of plushies in the corner.

“You just. Stay up here, by yourself?” Dan asked, looking around. This was depressing as fuck.

“Well, yeah. It’s not much, but this is what I wanted to show you,” Phil answered, walking towards the window. Dan followed him, and looked out at the most incredible view. There were ladders everywhere, stretching up into an almost velvet blue sky. There were fairy lights everywhere, connecting all kinds of different sized buildings.

“So this is where all the monsters live?” Dan asked, still looking out at the view in awe.

“Yup. Those ladders go up to every human child’s bedroom in the entire world,” Phil told him, looking out the window too.

“Wow. This place is insane. How come we haven’t seen anyone?”

“Everyone’s out scaring.”

“Oh. So, what do you wanna do?”

“I didn’t really have a plan beyond this. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to,” Phil admitted, looking over at him. Dan thought about his new school where he didn’t know anyone, and ate lunch alone in the library.

“Come home with me,” he said, before he could think better of it.

“What?”

“Well, you don’t have any friends, I don’t either. But I do have lots of video games.”

“Really, you want to spend more time with me? On purpose?” Phil asked, and he sounded so surprised, Dan had to laugh.

“Yeah. I mean, you have to promise to leave Aiden alone. But other than that, I don’t see why we can’t hangout.”

“Okay,” Phil agreed, and it took Dan a second to realize he was actually glowing.

“Sorry. It happens when I’m happy,” Phil explained sheepishly.

“You’re literally adorable. You’re a Disney character- no wonder you can’t scare anyone,” Dan answered laughing. Phil tried briefly to look offended, but ended up bursting into laughter too.

“Shut up.”

And with that, Dan let Phil lead him back up the ladder to Aiden’s bedroom. It was a little awkward at first, standing in his little brother’s bedroom with a monster he’d barely known for a few hours, but then Phil went to pick up one of Aiden’s toys from the window sill, tripped on a different toy and fell down. Dan laughed, and the tension dissipated.

“Come on, I’ll teach you how to play this game called Overcooked,” Dan told him leading him into the living room.

As it turned out, Phil was a really fast learner. And aside from some bickering while they figured out how everything worked, the two of them made a really good team. They played several more rounds, Dan making fun of Phil whenever he forgot how to do something, or messed something up.

“Oh no,” Phil said suddenly, putting his controller down.

“It’s fine, just throw that plate out, we’ve still got time,” Dan said, but Phil didn’t move.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“The sun. It’s rising,” Phil told him, looking worried. Smoke was already starting to radiate off of him, and this living room had a lot of windows.

“Oh! Well, let’s get you back then, before you… Melt?” Dan asked, standing up.

“Something like that, yeah.”

They managed to make it to the bedroom with minimal sun exposure, and Dan found himself feeling an unexpected sense of loss.

“Will you be back tomorrow night?” he asked, looking down. This night had been the most fun he’d had since moving to this awful town, and he kind of didn’t want it to end.

“Of course,” Phil told him, and then he was gone, leaving Dan feeling completely, and utterly alone.

Phil did come back the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Dan eventually convinced Aiden he’d gotten rid of the monster, and Aiden returned to sleeping in his own room. Dan took his video game system out of the living room and hooked it up in the bedroom, so that when the sun started to come up in the morning, he could just close the blinds and it wouldn’t affect Phil too much. They hung out, playing video games or watching movies or tv every night. Phil was obsessed with anything about American High School, especially Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As it turned out, there was no concept of high school in his universe, and he thought it was fascinating. Dan was also pretty sure he had a thing for Buffy, but he just let him have it.

Phil was a fascinating person to be around- Dan had to double his candy and snack supply, because he ate almost all of it every time he visited. He didn’t mind at all though. He started to look forward to when Phil would arrive, sitting on the floor next to his bed waiting for him. He also started to notice little things, like how tactile Phil was- he was always finding ways into Dan’s space, holding his hand while they walked, shoving him when he beat him at Mario Kart, resting his head on his shoulder while they watched movies. But once again, Dan didn’t mind at all.

“So, do monsters feel human emotions?” Dan asked one night. They were laying on his bed, after marathoning an anime Dan insisted Phil had to see if they were going to keep being friends.

“Like what?” Phil wondered, looking over at him.

“You know, like anger, or hunger, or…” Dan trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. “Nevermind. I don’t know why I asked.”

“We feel everything humans do. Not guilt, usually. That’d make it hard to be, well, us, but other than that, we feel everything.”

“Everything?” Dan asked, his voice suddenly small. Phil nodded, reaching up to push Dan’s hair out of his face.

“Everything,” he repeated, and for a while, they just lay there, staring at each other. There was so much Dan wanted to ask, wanted to say, but he didn’t even know where to start. They were so close, Dan could see that Phil’s eyes were slit, like a cat’s, and there were flecks of green and gold in them.

“I’m really glad I met you,” Phil told him seriously, and it felt like the world had slowed to a stop- nothing else existed except them, and this moment.

“I’m really glad I met you too,” Dan replied, and then, once he couldn’t take it anymore, he did maybe the most insane thing he’d ever done, and leaned in.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, once their faces were barely inches apart.

“Monsters also feel impatience, you know,” Phil whispered back.

“What?” Dan started to ask, but Phil kissed him, cutting him off. It was soft and perfect, and Phil’s hands felt cold on his face, and he wanted to keep doing this forever.

“You were taking too long,” Phil said softly, pulling away.

“Then why’d you stop so soon?” Dan asked, and Phil laughed.

“You’re glowing again,” Dan pointed out, smiling at him fondly.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, and then they were kissing again.

All too soon, the sun started to come up, and they had to say goodbye.

“You could always come with me, you know,” Phil told him, pulling on one of Dan’s hoodies. He’d taken to leaving with an item of Dan’s clothing whenever he had to go back home.

“Now I have to come back,” he’d say, but Dan knew he just liked to feel close when he was away.

“I can’t. I have to be here. For my brother, and my parents. Plus, I do still have to go to school,” Dan pointed out, sitting up.

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“You’d better.”

And then, after a quick kiss goodbye, Phil was gone.

After that, everything was pretty much perfect. Dan was always exhausted during the day, but it was worth it for all the time he got to spend with Phil at night. Unfortunately, things couldn’t stay this way forever.

“Something bad is happening,” Phil said one night, pacing the length of Dan’s bedroom.

“You mean, you being here still fully clothed?” Dan asked, watching him.

“I’m serious. Look at my hands,” Phil said, stopping, and holding them up.

“They’re… Not blue. What’s going on?” Dan replied, growing worried.

“I didn’t want to tell you. I thought maybe it was a just a myth, and I didn’t want to stop seeing you. I don’t want to stop seeing you, I just…” Phil trailed off, looking down.

“What? What is it, you’re scaring me,” Dan asked frantically, standing up.

“That’s just it. I’m not. I’m not scaring anyone,” Phil explained dejectedly. Dan vaguely remembered Phil saying something about this the night they met- having to do monster things, or he’d cease to exist.

“There’s gotta be something we can do, another way… Let’s go,” Dan said, bending down in front of the bed.

“Dan? I don’t want to go back, I just want to stay here with you as long as I can,” Phil replied, but Dan shook his head vehemently.

“Well, I don’t want my boyfriend to suddenly stop existing. There’s gotta be someone who can help.”

“Boyfriend?” Phil asked softly, starting to glow.

“Not the time.”

“Right. Sorry. Well there’s only one person who could help,” Phil said, bending down next to him.

“Let’s go then.”

They made the descent down into Phil’s world, and Dan immediately jumped up off the mattress and started walking, dragging Phil along with him.

“We’re going the wrong way,” Phil pointed out after a minute.

“Right, sorry. You lead.”

Phil lead him to what was basically a castle in the center of all of the other buildings.

“This is where the Boss lives,” Phil explained, as they walked in. A few bored looking guards looked up at them as they passed, but didn’t stop them. They finally came to a throne room, where an actual dragon was sitting. Upon seeing them, a huge puff of red smoke appeared, and then there was a woman standing in front of them, still completely red. Dan was going to faint.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, Boss, but we need your help,” Phil said, and she laughed. Loudly.

“And why should I spare you for being completely incompetent and alerting a human to our existence?” she asked cooly, once she calmed down.

“Please, Ms. Boss… Person. Please don’t take Phil from me. He’s my best friend,” Dan pleaded, and she turned her green, cat-like eyes on him.

“How sweet. You’ve got a pet,” she said to Phil, eyeing Dan up and down with calculating disinterest.

“Is there anything we can do?” Phil asked desperately, and she waved a hand dismissively.

“Oh, calm down. You’re not going to cease to exist, that’s just something I tell everyone to keep this place running. If you truly want to be with this human, you can stay in the human world. You will eventually turn human, but it’s going to be a long and painful process. I don’t actually care what you do, but you can never return here. Now go.”

They nodded, and turned to go on their way. Once they were in the hallway, Dan pulled Phil to the side.

“Is this what you want?” he asked, searching his face urgently.

“I want to be with you,” Phil said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I know. But you can’t make this decision like that. Do you really want to go through this transformation, and never be able to return home? Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”

“I have a new home now. And besides, I never fit in here anyway,” Phil told him, and Dan nodded.

“Okay. Okay then, let’s go home,” he said starting to walk, when he felt a tug on his wrist. He turned to ask Phil what was wrong when he pulled Dan into him and kissed him deeply.

“Thank you. For everything,” he told him seriously, and if he was a monster, Dan probably would’ve started glowing.

“Of course. Now let’s go home.”

[yourjughead]

Nuts and Bolts

Sweet Pea x reader

Synopsis: You're studying law while your boyfriend gets in trouble with it. Desperate to find some money to afford an engagement ring for you, Sweet Pea seeks help from a Ms.Peabody.

A/N: sorry I haven't posted in ages between Christmas and exams I've been wrecked. I wrote this a little differently than how I'd normally do it. Hope you like the idea and aren't to mad about the execution. Feed back welcomed especially with the new (for me) format. This fic is really long, so long I didn't have enough space to do the Love Chrissy Xx, so love Chrissy Xx. (This is also why some speech towards the end has to be on the same line my apologies)

------------------------------------

“Sweet Pea?” The Serpent woke you, surrounded by books, as he dragged his feet and clicked the door close.

“Oh sorry baby, go back to sleep you have college in the morning” he peeled his wet Serpent jacket from his skin and began changing.

“It's like 4am, did the Serpents really need you this late?” you shoved the law books from the bed.

“Yeah they did, lot more to do lately.” he huffed, collapsing alongside of you, the bed bending slightly more with the new weight. You immediately cuddled up to him, he willingly accepting it. His skin cold from the night instantly warmed.

“what was the job Pea?”

“I'd rather you not know, it'll be easier for you to lie to the police then when they come looking to take me away” he laughed as you playfully hit him into the chest.

“Don't joke about that Pea”

“Well I mean on the brightside our conjugal visits would be pretty great”

“Are they not now? I'm going to be a lawyer, I could get you off” you winked and the your hand slipped up the inside of his shirt, running over the bumps and grooves of his muscular frame. You both met hungrily before Sweet Peas phone buzzed to life, you both groaning at the sound of being interrupted.

“Sorry honey do you mind?” You smiled at him before kissing him and reburying yourself in his chest as he went for his phone.

As if on cue your phone lit to life, Unknown Number decorating the screen, it continued to buzz as texts came flying in.

“Wait yn!” He snatched the phone from your hand and you looked on confused.

“Woah Pea” you laughed before taking it back from his tight grip and reading the texts, your face dropped.

“Sweet Pea…” you looked from the phone to him, sat up and pushed away from him, he also sat up and attempted to move back closer to you.

“Wha-whats wrong yn” every possible scenario running through his head, he reached for your arm and you pulled back.

~

3 Weeks Earlier ~ Sweet Pea POV

“Okay Fangs I've decided, I'm going to propose”

“Wow no ring, you're not down on one knee, I'm sorry SP but I can't accept” he put one hand on his heart and the other to his head before I shoved him.

“Oh Sweet Pea we can't! We’re only 23! What will our parents say! What about ynn!” He continued to act like the idiot he is as I laughed at him.

“youre right Fangs you're right, I'll have to just settle for yn, I don't deserve you”

“I'm afraid so Pea”

“Don't call me Pea” I looked at him seriously before laughing again.

“So after what? 7 years together you've decided it's time?” He took a drag from his cigarette, the Whyte Wyrm lights glowing behind us.

“Almost 8, in about 3 weeks” I crushed my own cigarette into the gravel.

“That's exciting SP, congrats dude! When you gonna do it?

“Not sure, I guess our anniversary?”

“Yeah sounds just cheesy enough for yn to love it but still mock you for it”

“Hah yeah, I think she'll love it”

“So how are you going to pay for the wedding?”

“Well I mean we won't have to get married right away so there's time to save. We probably won't get married till after yn finishes Law next year at least”

“What about the ring?”

“When did you become a Wedding Planner?” I laughed and he crushed his cigarette next to mine, he then put his hands up in defense.

“Nah man, just wondering, rings are like expensive and we're not exactly making a killing at the garage and she'll probably want a diamond not a bolt”

“Yeah I guess but I'll figure it out. Anyway there's still time, I better get going, she'll be home soon and you know I like to be there. We'll probably come back for a drink later” he smiled before giving a small wave and escaping the chill night back in the bar. Huh, where am I going to get this money, I threw my hands in my pockets and began my walk home but was first interrupted.

“So, SP is marrying the small town Northsider, fairytale”

“What do you want Penny?” I replied harshly to the voice behind me. This witch.

“Nothing nothing, just, yanno, Northsiders do want the big fairytale wedding” she ran her hand across my shoulders before standing in front of me. Snake in the grass.

“And?”

“And like Fangs said, costs a lot of money, a lot of money you don't have” she jabbed her finger into chest. Ugh, hate her. I tried to move passed her but she instantly pushed me back.

“i have money you know SP, I could help you”

“I don't want your help”

“Suit yourself, I'm sure the Northsider will stick around for the nuts and bolts you Gearheads provide” she began sauntering off. I will not bite the bait. I will not bite the bait. I will not bite the bait. Damn it.

“Penny wait” she turned with a smirk. Damn it.

“What's the price?”

“Few favours”

“It's never a few with you”

“It's a simple favour.” Her grin was soul crushing, this is a giant mistake. Yn is worth it.

“What's the favour?”

“Take my niece to a family wedding, might give you ideas for your own” this was the last thing I was expecting her to say and she could easily tell.

“See, easy” this is not going to be easy.

~

2 Weeks later

It was not easy. It was horrible. Her niece, Annie, was 21 and a mess. I had to lie to yn and tell her I was working late at the garage, hated it. Hated the wedding even more. Loud. Abrasive. Peabody's everywhere. Annie was drunk for most of it and under Penny's instruction I walked her back to her room after. Then had to practically peel her off me. Uncomfortable.

“So time for your next job”

“No Penny I did what I had to” I went to close the trailer door but she jammed her foot before I could.

“Heard you bought a nice ring recently, cost a bunch I'd say? A bunch you don't have” if I could, I'd kill her but the only grave I'm digging is for myself. Fuck.

~

Present ~ Sweet Pea Pov

“Yn, honey tell me what's wrong” she was already out of the bed, getting dressed, grabbing things and shoving them in a bag.

“What's wrong?!” I crawled me way to the edge of the bed, grabbed the bag from her hands and unpacked while she continued getting dressed.

“What's wrong!?” She shouted back. She never shouts at me...she rarely shouts at me.

“Yeah!”

“Why is someone sending me photos of you and some girl in some hotel room!” She threw the phone at my chest, definitely going to leave a mark. The phone showed me in the hotel room with Annie, when she was hauling me onto the bed. Nothing happened but this made it really look like something did. Fuck Penny, trying to take the only good thing I have from me.

“Yn…” I looked up and she stood over me, nothing but hurt on her face.

“I can explain” I didn't want to have to explain.

“Well?!”

“Emmm” she groaned at me, throwing her head back before grabbing the bag from me again and ripping things from the dresser and her books from the floor.

“Oh and happy anniversary” she hurled a box and narrowly missed my head and then slammed every door of the trailer. Fuck.

I got dressed as fast as possible, grabbed my Serpent jacket before bolting out the door after her, the rain still hammering the aptly named Sunnyside.

“Yn please! Where are you going!?”

“I DON'T KNOW! JUST AWAY FROM YOU!” she continued pounding the pavement outside the fence of the park. I caught up to her easily, the law books weighing her down.

“Listen that was a job for Penny!”

“Excuse me!” She stopped suddenly sending me slamming into her.

“Okay well no that's not what I meant!”

“WELL WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEN?! what do you mean” the sight of her crying hurt me more than anything I could think of. I just grabbed her and pulled her into my chest.

“I needed money and Penny gave it to me, I just needed to take her niece to a wedding and then some other things and then I'd have enough money and her niece just got super drunk but I swear, yn I swear nothing happened, please believe me” I pulled her from my chest to look her right in her beautiful, sad eyes.

“I-I think-i want to believe you Pea...but why did we need money? It's not my college fees I'm on scholarship? Is it the trailer? What is it?”

“Umm” okay okay okay. It's a good sign she said We and not I and she still called me Pea, good signs.Breathing, breathing, breathing, okay, okay, okay and then I dropped down to one knee and pulled the little box from the leather pocket.

“This is what the money was for” I peeled back the lid to reveal the stone I could have never afforded without Penny. The witch. Yn covered her mouth and I was losing confidence.

“Yn Yln, I love you, please please please will you marry me” “No” I'm going to be sick.

“Wh...wha” I just couldn't find my words, my ribcage was collapsing on itself.

“I wont marry you with that ring” she dropped her arms to her sides and bit her lip before pulling me up from my knees.

“I don't understand”

“You take that ring back and get a refund and then take the money back to that witch”

“Bu-but the ring” “I don't care about the ring Pea!”

“But fangs said-” she rolled her eyes and I just realised how stupid I sounded.

“I couldn't care less if you gave me a freaking bolt or something! Just please take back the ring and get away from that woman” “And after I give back the ring….”

“Then I guess I'll have to marry you” her smile was the best possible thing I could see after she gave me a mini heart attack. “You have to have a ring” I began rummaging through my pockets at her protest before pulling out the contents of my pockets. My keys, a button, a bolt and some change. “Emm” I took the bolt and slipped it on her baby finger and she laughed.

“Perfect I love it, except it's super cheesy you're proposing to me on our anniversary, I still love it” I laughed at her and grabbed her tightly around the waist. I adore this girl. I kissed her furiously.

“The Serpent's may have just got a new lawyer”

“Yeah and now you owe me a favor” I raised my eyebrow at her before kissing her.

“You have to carry these books back home...and me home”

"Deal" I adore her.

[forevermizu]

Too many thoughts

For the past several day, I've been in a really bad rut mentally with my anxiety and depression. Finally kind of crawling out a bit but my brain just has too many thoughts going through it and it's been extremely overwhelming. So here's just a rambling vent post to try and get some of it out. And obligatory on mobile so please excuse any spelling or grammar issues.

----

Sometimes I wonder if part of my problem with my mental illnesses is based on where and when I grew up. Middle of fucking extremely conservative, end of the D.A.R.E. era, anything different is scary and wrong and you are wrong for being different Midwest nowhere U.S.A. And of course, as my beautiful lady luck willed it, I was different.

My mom used to say all the time, "She'll break down into tears if you even look at her wrong." Not in those exact words mind you because my mom was way better at phrasing it than me. But she was right. I was "sensitive" to an extreme. If I saw someone glance as at me, it might look like I was given the side eye or a stink eye. My brain would jump to, "Oh god. They're mad at me. What did I do? I don't know! I don't want them to be made at me!" And I would start tearing up. Oh I tried not to, getting madder and madder at myself that I was crying which just made me cry harder. And the other kids noticed so I became a target to bullies. I mean, I also made amazing friends, but the bullies would see me trying not to cry and decide that I needed to be put down further because nothing makes little kid bullies feel better than the tears of another.

And, mind you, that I had been this way my ENTIRE childhood. Like, I literally do not remember a time that I was not this "sensitive". Heck, I remember being like 4 at preschool and running to my mom at pick up because it was my turn to lead the pledge that day and none of the other kids would do what I said and even the teacher just sighed and told me to forget it and sit down. Then I was mocked the rest of the day because of how bad it went and how hard I was trying not to cry.

But everyone just told me to suck it up. That I need to stop being a crybaby and then it would get better. Like I wasn't already trying. Hell, in first grade, I accidentally stabbed myself with a pencil and started crying because it fucking hurt. We were reviewing the alphabet because it was like the first week or so of school and this was back when kids didn't have to know how to read and write before kindergarten. The para was trying to help me while the teacher kept going and asked for the next kid to give an example of a word that started with C.

"Crybaby. Cause (me) is a crybaby."

I had just stabbed myself with a number 2 pencil and was bleeding. The para had just noticed that the lead had broken off in my hand was still there. I felt like I was justified in crying. But the rest of the class didn't agree cause they all laughed. My teacher did tell them that that was very mean and took away a few points for some kiddie reward thing but that was kind of it. The para found a bandaid and slapped that on my hand and we went on with the day. Never went to the nurse either. I still have that piece of pencil lead in my hand and can still see it. So yay for a permanent reminder...

My friends were awesome and tried to help me but I don't think any of us realized that something was actually wrong with me. Looking back, I realize that I've always had some form of anxiety. Doesn't make any of it better but it gives me something to explain why I was the way I was. But back then, I didn't understand that other kids didn't freak out from looks because they just saw them for that. Looks. They didn't see the train tracks as a foot trap or every clap of thunder as a sign that a tornado was going to come. They didn't worry about what others thought as much because they could push it off better than I could. But I couldn't.

I had trouble falling asleep because the quiet let my brain wonder. So I started watching TV till I passed out not to stay up, but because I wanted my brain to stay quiet. Well, mostly for that reason. Toonami and Adult Swim was awesome for little me.

Anyways, like I said, my friends were awesome but when I looked around and saw what looked like everyone else hating me, it did a number on my self esteem and confidence. I just wanted others to like me. So, when all the teachers would praise me for being so smart or that I did something well, I soaked it up. I was a teacher's pet. And when the anti-bully movement swept through and told us to tell a teacher whenever we see bullying. Bet you can guess what happened next.

I became what everyone called a tattletale. If my peers didn't like me but I thought my teacher's did, I always went to my teachers for any issue. A kid knocked over my sand castle? Teacher. A kid called me a bitch (yes. In elementary school). Teacher. I heard some girls gossiping about another student. Teacher.

I didn't really stop to think how the other kids felt being told on. I just went to the teachers because that was what I was told and they already didn't like me, so what was the worse that could happen?

Well, it got worse for one. And soon some of my teachers started getting annoyed with me and saying that I just needed to stop...being me. Grow a thick skin. Stop provoking them. "If you stop being a tattletale, they'll like you more. Nobody likes them."

But they were the ones that told us to come to them when we saw bullying or if we were being bullied.

By the end of 4th grade, I think the only thing that kept me remotely sane was my few friends.

But our town has an overpopulation of the schools. They are constantly trying to shift around how the kids are separated out because none of the buildings can handle them all. Like, there were 5 or 6 elementary schools in town but only one middle school. So to help integrate and break up the amount in the middle school, we had intermediate school for 5 and 6th grade. There were 2 of these. My best friend went to one and I went to another. The rest of my friends were in completely different classes and I never saw them.

Suddenly, I was alone in school. Very quickly, all the kids grew to hate me, throwing me down to the bottom of the food chain. And the teachers either didn't care or didn't like me. This is about when, looking back, that I think my depression really started to develop. From about the age of 10 to 12ish, I was alone. Sure i made new friends but not in my class so i still didn't have anyone in the room to depend on.

Another important detail is, at least for where I grew up, this was when people didn't believe that depression was an actual thing. That it was a made up illness for lazy people. That everyone got sad. They just need to sack up.

Looking back...I showed WAY too many signs of depression that I really should have been noticed and diagnosed back then. But everyone just thought I was "sensitive".

And, because of what was being expressed by others, I angrily denied that voice in my head that said that maybe there was something to this depression. That maybe that's what was wrong with me. But that couldn't be right. Even if depression was real, what did I have to be depressed about? I had three square meals a day, pets, my parents loved me and my sister and were still together, I didn't have any reason to be depressed. Even when my mom had a heart attack. Even when my grandma died. I still had so much. How could I be depressed?

This was about when mother nature threw her hand into the lot and granted me my horrendous period. Suddenly, now I was always anxious, always depressed, but I was also always angry at everything. I was just...done with it all. When my grandma passed, I had to go through mandatory "grief therapy" in school. It made me miss my bus every day so my mom had to pick me up and had to sit and wait until she finished work to go home. I think this was about when I started to maybe think something was wrong about me.

But what could I do about it? I had seen commercials about medication for depression late at night but D.A.R.E. had beaten me over my head that ANY drug, including medications, was the absolute worse thing you could ever do. Medications were for people that needed them to survive. That had "actual" things wrong with them. Any other use of any type of medication was bad and just like using crack or meth.

Besides...telling anyone that I needed help would only bother others...and really, the only thing I could think of that would make it any better was if I just stopped existing. But whenever those thoughts came up, my anxiety would spike because, y'know...death.

My sister says I finally grew a back bone at the end of 6th grade but not really. I was still just as "sensitive". My hormones just made me respond in angry instead of crying. I still cried, but I was just so angry all the time. This continued through 7th. I didn't ask for help because what could I even do? There didn't seem to be anything that would ever make any of what was going on in my head better and easier to deal with.

Then my mom had another heart attack and we had to move. We moved to a smaller town and suddenly, while everyone still kept their distance and I didn't fit in, I wasn't hated. I could breath a little because yeah I was different, but there weren't as many others to worry about. I made new friends and created my own niche group. I was still constantly anxious and depressed and angry, but it was...better.

I met others that suffered from depression and were on medication. They seemed so happy and not...tired like I was from fighting all the time with my brain. It had gotten better during the day, but the silence of night brought with it thoughts of death. And I hated it. Hated myself for them. Others were managing, why couldn't I?

...I haven't gone to bed without the TV or youtube on since 10th grade...I'm 26 now...the silence brings too many bad thoughts. White noise makes my anxiety spike though. It has to be listening to some sort of talking.

But it was better during the day, most of the time, so that was good. Other than my friends, I avoided anything that would put me in large groups because I didn't want to deal with all that stress again. My mom still gives me shit for not joining the Honors Society because it would look good on my college applications.

Eventually, I got pretty numb to the world around me. The only things I really cared about were my friends and family, anime (yes I was a weeaboo/otaku), and writing. Some days, those were the only thing keeping me going.

Eventually, I met my future husband through fanfiction (go figure) and it started getting better. College sucked, but at least people finally noticed that I needed help. I finally got told that I didn't have to keep fighting like this. I started going to therapy and got.put on meds.

And holy shit, it was like overnight. I still had times of being anxious or depressed but no where near as bad. I could hold conversations without always being worried about how I came across or double meanings. I could start falling asleep without thoughts of death, though I still need something playing. I unlearned bad habits I developed to cope and learned new ones.

But more than that, I watched as the same world that had told me that I was wrong change to be more accepting of mental illnesses. I didn't feel as alone because others were going through similar things. I finally got to see that I wasn't wrong. Just different.

I still look back to when I was growing up and wonder how different everything could have been if just one person growing up had said that this kid needs help.

Well, I guess they might have. According to my mom, my teachers complained to her about having me tested for then ADD, now ADHD. And she did. But the docs said I didn't present the right symptoms. Except nowadays, docs realize that girls present with different symptoms to boys. Soooo...maybe something would have been noticed if they knew that now. But who knows.

---

Sorry for the long rambling post. Just needed to get it off my chest. Might delete it later.