#literally how is there so much fucking drama from just being plural and talking about it

[fossys]

Hey guess who remembered why we stopped being active in plural communities in the first place <-people are dicks

[lunadreamscaper]

Basic Info and Introduction Page

I am the mostly present host of our system, still the same ol Larry Da' Cat! you all remember, just rebranded!

i'm also gay as fuck and an ex mormon (ex cult) now, also it's been literal fucking yearsa So any and ALL past drama is no longer relevant to who we are or what we believe in. B)

(you can ask questions about the past drama if your intentions are genuine but I can't garuntee we'll respond to them but it's a possibility)

With that being said. Here are the headmates that will probably be interacting with this post the most

Luna Dreamscaper (me) • she/they • host • (no sign off usually except for 🌙)

Johnny Ghost • he/they • brother • 🔦

Frank • he/they/she • brother/co-host • ⚠️

Jimmy • he • shows up sometimes • 🦐/⚰️

Hunter • he/them • brother/friend • 🐦‍🔥/⚜️

yes we have a Johnny Toast, no he is not dating Johnny Ghost. (please do not ask headmate/alters if they're dating just to live your shipping fantasies. no one likes it and also it's weird/lh)

no they aren't my literal brothers but found family bc we can do that lol 😭🙏

it's an 80% chance that you'll mostly get Luna (me) tho lol.

we are not comfortable with people asking to talk to specific headmates but I can grab their opinions on things... maybe.

remember that we are people and not fictional characters lol 💜🩵💙🖤

assholes get thrown into the sun -🔦

We are bodily 22! Headmates ages range from 18-22 as well.

Things we will post about:

Mostly VenturianTale but expect other things like Supernatural, Smosh, OCs, Strive SMP & Crow SMP (smps we're in), vents and rants?, stuff about plurality (mostly our own experiences tbh) and other stuff i like.

and we reblog a lot. because that's what tumblr is for😭🙏

we also call our VentrianTale PIE focused au "Shatterverse." B)

@pie-resurgence is our alt about more of our p.i.e. lore and related projects!

I love P.I.E. so much and the VT world and it's lore, we love receiving Asks about the topics!

also please reblog our art! we would appreciate that so much! 😭🙏

(post is long af but here's more info down below) 👇

the basic DNI's should obvious but here is a few specifics that we won't engage in:

endos make us nervous due to bad experiences so we will not interact.

this is very specific and targeted but i dont care: people who think they're their source. and actively brag that you did the terrible things that source character has done. we'll just block you lol.

we don't hate this ship or mind people who ship it but please don't ping us in anything Ghost x Toast or Jimmy x Gavin related. (also bad experiences. also makes headmates uncomfortable lol 😔✊)

Speaking of ships. anyone who comes to us complaining about what we do indulged in will get thrown into a Volcano. (Blocked.) unless it's actually problematic, stfu lol.

don't be weird/passive aggressive/mean towards mine, friends VT headcanons. VenturianTale was written badly let people do what they want. Unless it's problematic as shit. stfu pt 2

Please go to Google/do research about systems, DID, OSDD and general Plurality. (the only questions about systemhood we'll answer is how we interpret Johnny Ghost/Jimmy's plurality, or any other plural-coded characters)

Jordan and Isaac Frye supporters dni. see this post.

trying to bring back old dusty ass drama will not be tolerated lol (this probably won't happen but it's happened before because people are cringe

also mormons dni. yall got me fucked up lol

Okay that's it. for now. Thank you for reading this through.

[lightning-flight]

You hate the plural community or are you joking?

Honestly, anon? I kind of do.

I hate how such a large part of the community is genuinely incapable of separating fictives from their canon counterparts. You see hosts (or even fellow fictives) talk about their fictives like that one person I reblogged did. I've seen hosts giggling about their fictives refusing to talk to them because they're upset that the host is writing fic about the fictive's trauma. I've seen people RP their fictives -- not the canon counterpart but the literal fictive.

We've gotten treated like shit by people -- even lost friends! -- because they assumed our fictives had to be just like their canon counterparts. Our partner system has gotten treated badly because they're dating us and we have ~problematic introjects~.

And that's just the part concerning fictives. I could go on a long damn rant about how exhausting it is when people lie and make up headspace/inworld/"back home" drama for attention. When they exaggerate, fake, and lie to seem more valid/interesting/cool. How frustrating it is to see through people -- even friends -- and not be able to speak up about it, because in this community, you blindly validate everyone or you get shunned and put on a blocklist.

I could go on about how hilariously ironic it is that the community that cares oh so much about ableism will gladly have their headmates quiirktype 2 2eem more valiid (quirktype to seem more valid), never mind how hard that makes it for people with dyslexia and screen readers to understand what's being said (and how quirktyping wasn't a thing in the community before the Great Homestuck Explosion of 2012).

I could go on about how exhausting it is to constantly see baby systems who know jack shit about plurality or community history barge in and act like they own the place and are a Voice of Knowledge and Reason (looking at you, anti-endo kiddos).

I could go on about how I want to scream whenever we're in a Discord server and wham, there comes yet another person claiming to be non-verbal and that that means they only can communicate through fucking emojis. Yes, individual headmates can absolutely be non-verbal, but that isn't being non-verbal. That's just trying to show how ~totes for real different omigosh~ y'all are from each other in the easiest way possible, kinda like quirk typing or having your headmate pretending to know a language they don't.

Helpful hint, actually? Those of us who are bi/multilingual can tell when you're not. And for the love of god, if you're gonna use Google Translate to pretend to speak another language, make sure you don't have any misspellings, because that just makes it even more obvious you can't actually speak the language.

I like plurality. I like individual systems. But I think the plural community is a toxic wastepit that has only gotten worse and worse since we first joined it back in 2011.

[ablednt]

1) Is there any media you think did explicitly plural characters well? 2) Is there any media you think handled CSA well (I think you mentioned Persona 5 once but I can’t find that post). 3) How do you think the “into the mindscape” plot can work well (either headspace or metaphorical, and how do you make it clear if it’s the latter?)

1) in terms of like, explicitly stated in a "this character is a system I'm writing about a system this is a plural system"....no I cannot think of any unless we count indie OCs from unpublished works but I don't really in this case. The closest to being explicitly plural I can think of is I'm actually quite fond of how systemhood is portrayed in Omori (it's technically not explicitly stated but the call the inworld headspace for a reason yk?). I just think that for the most part we aren't really in a place yet where most plural creators are A) aware of their plurality and B) safe to canonize it rather than providing subtext and hints.

3) (2 got too long to put in the middle) I honestly just like basically every iteration of this trope and especially how much plural coding goes into it. Most of the people making it do seem to be plural in that they cannot imagine a mind in which there is only one person or one version of a person, it really speaks to the theory side of plurality, an exploration of what it means for the human brain. The only times I think it's executed badly is when it's deliberately plural and made by singlets because then we get stuff like the abomination that is total drama islands "literally a brain with gross bits all over the place" headspace." I like them when they're metaphorical and don't rely too much on coherence one just because it's fun and the trope doesn't take itself all too seriously generally and also because our headspace tends to have a slightly incoherent, dream-like quality so it feels more accurate that way.

2) Yes but to a point. The bar is absolutely in the floor when it comes to representation of CSA victims and survivors so I always feel like I'm praising media for the bare minimum and I've never truly felt fully seen by any portrayal and my opinion on that hasn't changed but...! I do have a slightly better outlook on some medias than I did the last time I was talking about this. (Mild spoilers for persona 5 and major spoilers for revolutionary girl utena, discussion of CSA and violence)

Persona 5 was I think, perhaps the best in terms of showing the character moving on to having a full life and character arc unconnected to their trauma without shelving it unrealistically. Ann gets closure within the first proper arc of her story and is able to get justice, and when she initially refuses to kill her abuser I was expecting this to be some stupid "I heal by forgiveness" bullshit but her reasoning of "Actually I want him to suffer worse than death instead of giving him an out lol" was iconic. After that she remains traumatized but there's a lot more to her character than just that which is sadly quite rare and I actually surprisingly ADORED seeing her go to therapy in p5 royal and being able to officially just talk about her feelings and how terrible everything was.

HOWEVER persona 5 loses all of what would have been really powerful for two reasons. One is that they sexualize the hell out of Ann for comedic relief (especially by putting her in situations where she must act sexual when she does not actually want to) and kind of just for no reason, which turns out being super disparaging after such powerful build up. But more importantly because one of the romance options for the main character who is her classmate is with one of his teachers (who I have super complex feelings about because most people hate the character for this but I don't I think she had a lot of potential and it's really fucking sus that they made their only sex worker character be available for romancing a whole child who is also her student, I feel like as a character she was done just as dirty by this option as the other characters were) so it's like... what is it only abuse and disgusting if it's a blatantly creepy man? Is it a case of "boys want to be sexually abused so it's fine" or what? What message are we supposed to be taking from this?

On another note the media that grew on me a LOT since I was last discussing this was Revolutionary Girl Utena, which remains incredibly relevant despite having a certain 90s crust on it/aff. Before whilst I was fond of the ideas it was presenting I felt betrayed that we never saw a follow up on Anthy's freedom, she just, quietly leaves without much else in terms of closure and by the time any other installments of the story exist it's either a reboot entirely or another timeline in a timeloop and that's not bad but after so much pain it felt lacking.

But it really grew on me as I started to look at the purpose of this story differently. Initially I felt like it was just an exploration of what experiencing CSA is like without any other underlining message, it was accurate to my experiences, sure, but it made me feel hopeless like there wasn't a point to it other than to sit with that pain.

But what I realized more recently is that RGU is a love-letter for the meaning you can find within trauma. The message of RGU isn't "if you've gone through abuse there's a better tomorrow for you," it doesn't deny that either but it's left very uncertain on that point.

But instead it does something that I haven't really seen from other depictions of CSA victims in that it lets its characters be Messy. Like so fucking messy without demonizing them for it? It says, boldly, and unapologetically, that you deserved to be loved even if you lash out due to abuse, even if you don't fit into the role of an "acceptable" abuse victim.

It says, "here's two abuse victims who love each other so much that when Anthy stabs Utena through the back to kill her, all Utena can think to do is reach for her hand, not even the thought of having been betrayed present." It says "even if you never get closure, even if you were to completely disappear right now, even if nothing good lasts from this, right now matters, and the relationships you have with fellow survivors matter."

I also find the exploration of CSA within the story to be suitably complex and find I actually quite like so many of the girls at Ohtori being victims of Akio (and Touga) because it gives each character a lot more room to be messy in their own way without feeling like it's making a statement on all survivors/victims.

Kozue says, "when you live in an impure world you need to become unpure to get what you want." She embraces her trauma, she glorifies it, and this isn't really portrayed as problematic so much as being like "this is a child and she is incredibly broken and trying her goddamn best to keep it together, but she doesn't know what she wants and she doesn't know what to do other than to go along with everything that makes her feel in control"

Nanami on the other hand tries desperately to regain her sense of grace and dignity all the while reality is crumbling around her and she slowly realizes that the only foundation she has (her abuser) is only making her more unstable. By the end of it she's so goddamn weary she can't even find it in her to lash out at anyone anymore, she wants out and so she starts to withdraw.

Wakaba's trauma is a lot more ambiguous. On the surface, what she's going through is kind of the most normal in the show and she seems well adjusted and healthy... until you realize that she's still being groomed by the overall culture of the school which is something that ALSO basically never gets addressed both in media and irl how like. You can be groomed without ever having an abuser, how we are all victims of pedophilia culture and it causes us to be complicit in others abuse. She falls apart because she's balancing her desire to not get hurt with her desire to have a place within society, she flirts with grown men to fit in, to feel like she's more mature and more confident than she actually is.

And of course in the center we have Anthy and Utena.

Anthy is an exploration of the way that victims are demonized and the roles that they inevitably play to survive. To say that all of her submissiveness and kindness and long-suffering is a front she's putting up and she's actually conceited and toxic and hurtful is a misinterpretation of the entire point of the show. She's an embodiment of everything that this world hates- a child who has realistic emotions and needs that inconvenience others.

Every "evil" act she commits is something she does for Akio because she's never had a choice other than serving his interests. She may be more powerful than him, she may have every physical ability to leave but... she doesn't realize that because she's been made to feel inferior to him for so goddamn long and she's a 14 year old child so of course she's going to feel restricted and like she has no choice but to appeal to her abuser (yes she's immortal but I think anyone who got the takeaway that she's somehow an adult is seriously misinterpreting the entire point of "no one actually ages at this school time simply isn't passing.") She plays into the part of the perfect abuse victim because she wants and needs to feel loved, she needs to feel valuable, and when she doesn't uphold this image when she has problems when she's not okay that's when she's being stabbed with million of swords to receive all of humanity's hatred and that's like. SUCH a strong way to express what it FEELS like to be a survivor in a society where abuse victims are only supported superficially.

And then Utena's is an exploration of what grooming feels like itself. Using the main, viewpoint, character to explore what it's like to be groomed is actually pretty rare I feel like but they executed it perfectly. It's so realistically done with the decent into Akio being this abusive villain so gradual that a lot of viewers who aren't familiar with sexual abuse and grooming will watch it and be like "damn that was weird I didn't get that at all lol" because they didn't really have the time to process what they were watching just like Utena barely had time to process what was happening to her.

He seems like a good guy, he seems kind to Anthy and she seems to trust him. He welcomes Utena into his home, he just wants her to feel loved and safe, right? When she experiences transphobia at school he comes to her aid, he admires her for her gender-nonconformity after all.

But then suddenly she starts to feel afraid of him and she doesn't understand why, she starts getting intrusive thoughts about the two of them together romantically, and she knows that's wrong but she isn't thinking about her age in the equation because why would she? She's mature, she doesn't have parents, she's old enough to fight to the death to protect her best friend so she ought to be old enough for an adult relationship right? That's a non issue to her, because she's too young to realize how young she is, but she still inherently knows it's wrong.

And she tries to voice this, she tries so goddamn hard. She says "aren't you kind of a pervert?" and he responds with (very paraphrased) "I am but you're just as deviant as I am, your being nonbinary is the same as my being a pedophile."

And like. She's 14, she's the only openly queer person she's ever met, he's been supportive before now so like.... he's gotta be right, doesn't he? There's not argument that can be made to this when he's leaning over her to pin her down and she's dissociating too hard to think straight.

Watching her spiral deeper into depression as she faces more and more abuse feels intimate, like, at no point do her actions not make perfect sense from the perspective of a grooming victim and that's something that you really don't get from so many media. And is is empowering to see her pull herself out of this and to see him for what he is, the resulting sword fight, and the way she ignores him completely as she tries one last time to reach Anthy and convince her that she deserves better than this, that all means something even if her ending isn't a happy one.

The series is a comforting one for me when I'm already triggered because it speaks to the tired cynic in me that knows that on a societal level that things aren't getting better or safer, that I'm never going to get rid of these ptsd symptoms because I am inherently retraumatized by how widespread this kind of trauma is. In that respect I'm Anthy in her coffin and Utena is reaching for me, and telling me that my friendships, my relationships with equally traumatized people no matter how hard and messy still matters. And that's a message that I just haven't seen anywhere else that you can find some happiness within an abusive environment and that still means something, even if you can't find anything else.

It's definitely not perfect and it doesn't fix the fact that I have yet to see any media with explicitly explored CSA where the victim is able to have not just a happy ending but a full continuation of their life outside their trauma in which they can heal and find support and a kinder world, I don't have any comfort media that does that for me which sucks a LOT. But Utena does make me feel a little better when I start to feel really hopeless about everything.

[variousqueerthings]

some thoughts on queerness in narrative (using cobra kai as a main point)

1. intro

It’s interesting getting to engage with pop culture right now versus even five years ago, where there was something kinda sordid and undercover about queer reads of text and even just talking about being into stuff very passionately while being queer in spaces that included creators was considered somehow icky (supernatural is always a good example, but definitely was just the most visible of these types of interactions between fans and cast/creators). Obviously that’s where a lot of modern definitions about queerbaiting and bury your gays comes from.

A lot of this kind of drama centred on queer ships rather than queer characters in their own right (dean/castiel, merlin/arthur, derek/styles and maaaan just a lot of white brunette/blond pairings, which is another post and I acknowledge that Lawrusso is also literally that... the irony)

But also this isn’t so much about “shipping.”

2.

There’s a danger of flattening out the ways in which we create a dialogue with text when it becomes just about whether or not our ships become canon (in general the way fandom discourse revolves around ships can be incredibly unhelpful for engaging critically with text) – for context I am queer and I’m queer through my transness and aromanticness and asexuality, and I also write a fair bit of shippy fanfiction and analysis, but personally am not (always) thaaat bothered about how the connections with queer-coded people are realised in text, as long as those connections are acknowledged in a queer way. How that works varies from text to text.  There is no one-size fits all proper queer representation.

An example: SE Hinton (because I just read The Outsiders/watched the movie) being really dismissive of people reading her characters as gay on twitter (why do we ever try to do this sort of deep textual analysis on twitter, why do creators – like Hinton – think that they ought to espouse opinions on twitter, why twitter folx?)

I wrote – kinda for the void, because I write a lot and I like posting some of that on tumblr, but I don’t expect people to engage necessarily – about how The Outsiders is absolutely a queer text, whether or not the creator intended for it to be. Long story short, queerness has been – and often still is – illegal and/or frowned upon in canon text, so a semiotics was created to make something queer if you knew how to read it. The fact that cis-straight creators play with and use those semiotics without knowing doesn’t negate the fact that that language is there and was deliberately created for that purpose.

That also doesn’t make it queerbaiting. Maybe cis-straight dumbassery, idk (wouldn’t be if you just went “huh, didn’t think about that, cool read”)

Intentionally playing with and acknowledging those semiotics also isn’t necessarily queerbaiting.

Definitely queercoding though.

3.

Anyway this is all a bit murky territory, so let’s talk about Cobra Kai, my current little obsession, and about Star Trek, my always-obsession. Time-was you could get sued for your Star Trek fanfiction. Nowadays that fanfiction can get turned into a for-fun zoom play and read out loud by the two actors who played the original characters (Alexander Siddig and Andy Robinson). This is very fun, new territory for a lot of us.

Meanwhile Hayden Schlossberg and the other writers of Cobra Kai are openly aware of the fact that lots of people read their lead characters – Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence - as probably bisexual (and probably as in love) and are on good terms with several active members of fandom and fic-writing. This is… so fucking fun. And it doesn’t have that weird overtone of shit like Teen Wolf (“We’re on a ship” winky-face, followed by that about heel-turn “just think it’s weird and strange” or however tf it was described later on - that shit: definitely queerbaiting).

In Star Trek there’s a slim-to-none chance that these characters will ever become canonically queer in the main text, but the acknowledgement and the light-hearted open engagement with it makes such a massive difference (not that Siddig and Robinson weren’t talking openly about it as far back as the 90s).

In Cobra Kai there is no obligation to make Johnny or Daniel canonically bi because there’s been no promise to do so – there is, in my opinion, an obligation to create a world in which queerness exists and not just on the sidelines. In the same way as there’s an obligation to generally create a world that accurately depicts what LA looks like in multiple other ways (cough, not mainly white, cough). If a part of that were through exploring how 80s era toxic heteronormative masculinity could throw people deep into the closet for most of their lives, hey, that’d be a neat storyline (such a neat fucking storyline), but it’s not the only way to do it.

While I do like canonically queer couples in stories, I also think it’d really limit what queerness can do for a text if that were the only way it was represented - sure I ship Lawrusso, but I find the above-mentioned analysis of toxic masculinity’s effects on the characters-as-queer-coded to go much deeper than whether or not they get together. 

I also would love trans and/or other-gender characters - we all know Johnny needs his “gender-what?” ignorance challenged and the potential for characters like that to fit into a narrative around trauma, loneliness, and misfit-families is kinda perfect (and when I say characters, I mean that plural, we’re not a one-size fits all).

Lastly I think there is also an obligation to do exactly what the showrunners are doing - what didn’t happen with Hinton or SPN or Teen Wolf or Star Trek of yore or so much other popular fiction: say, oh yeah, that language is absolutely there, we recognise it, we can read it and it’s not weird or sordid or something to be judged. So that’s already a massive thumbs up/promising start.

4. some final thoughts:

Idk where all this’ll go. I’m still missing a lot of canonically queer representation - and when I say representation I mean more than just shoving in a queer character into a scene and not thinking about how that affects the world that’s been established. But I’m feeling a lot better about queerness and story than I used to.

I’m hoping that whatever comes moving forwards in culture in general it’ll have some thought put into it. I’m hoping that queerness and queer allegory and coding will be recognised more and more as important reads of text and will go into informing how something is made (Hannibal, Black Sails, Sense8, Pose). I’m just hoping this’ll mean some interesting, intelligent, wildly varied narratives.

Just very excited.

[tepkunset]

@avatarfandompolice​​​ is a blog that likes to misuse progressive language in attempt to make ignorant, racist posts sound more intelligent than they are. While most of their blog consists of arguing about ‘zutara,’ (which I recently learned is a ship name for Zuko and Katara from an anon), there is also a large number of posts and reblogs under the premise of being “hot takes” on how unfair it is to address racism in fandom and in media.

Avatarfandompolice is very sensitive about people pointing out that Avatar: The Last Airbender is not, in fact, flawless. That a show made by two white men featuring Asian and Indigenous characters and influences is fully capable of getting things wrong. That their western colonial views are influences all on their own, and it shows. Rather than listen to fans of colour point out things like these posts for example: [Link] [Link] [Link], avatarfandompolice has decided that such things must simply be fake, and has made multiple posts complaining it. This is not just regular ignorance, this is wilful ignorance. The dismissal of critique simply because they cannot fathom not everyone being able to handle the amount of issues they are freely educating others on, or people holding the ability to like something overall while also pointing out where it could be better.

It is my firm belief that you should never absorb media with an uncritical eye. If this was the case, if people just accepted everything given to them, then we would never see any progress. We need to be able to look back at something and say here’s what we did right, and here’s what we need to do better with.

The argument that A:TLA was made in 2012 and therefore should not be analyzed with a modern understanding of the world is downright hilarious, too. As if we aren’t taught to write literature analysis on books and plays that are centuries old in school. In particular regards to the whole cop thing... if anyone reading this seriously thinks that hate and fear of the police is just a 2020 trend, you can meet me in the pit. I was four years old when I learned how terrifying cops are. If your experiences differ, let me tell you that does not make them universal. And as for all the 20-somethings talking about it today, well, gentle reminder that as said by avatarfandompolice right here, the show aired in 2012. Little 10-year-old kids don’t have social media, (at least I hope they don’t,) and unless they grew up experiencing first-hand police terror, probably were not aware of it at that age. I do not know why avatarfandompolice insults people's ability to grow and learn. I can only guess it’s jealously from their lack of ability to do so.

Now let’s address their defences of whitewashing, which is easily the most backwards reaching I’ve seen on this issue in a while. Primarily their defence relies on four repetitive “points” —

Fake minuscule percentages to downplay the high prevalence and extremity of whitewashing in the fandom

Deflecting the addressing of whitewashing with rapid-fire fake scenarios and claims of “reverse racism” / “blackwashing”

Claiming whitewashing isn’t real because people only care about it with Katara

Claiming that calling out whitewashing in fandom is wrong because it hurts artists

I have only so much as dipped my toes into the A:TLA fandom, and even I have seen a lot of whitewashed fan art. If you do an image search for fan art, I guarantee within the first couple rows of results, there will be in the absolute least, a few examples. The idea of these artworks not substantially lightening skin is also just plain inaccurate. Just from a quick Google search, this is literally the first result for ‘Avatar The Last Airbender Katara fan art’:

Avatarfandompolice is also hyper-focused on the lightening of skin, and seems to be under the impression that this is the only component of whitewashing. I come to this conclusion because when someone pointed out the equal prevalence of depicting these characters of colour with Western European features instead of their actual eyes, noses, etc., they rip a giant turd out of their ass and scrawl the words “but stereotyping” over it. No, not all Asian peoples and Indigenous peoples look the same. The original poster made no such claim of this at all. Avatarfandompolice jumped to this conclusion all on their own... (which really says a lot in itself). It is entirely unrelated to the point. The point being the erasure of how these characters look, in favour of giving them whiter features. And guess what? This does hurt. But I’ll get to that below.

The lack of understanding of whitewashing is on full display when avatarfandompolice talks about “blackwashing”; the idea that colouring characters with darker skin is just like whitewashing. Firstly, there is no such thing as “blackwashing.” “Blackwashing,” “brownwashing,” etc. does not exist because it is a false equivalency to whitewashing. It is a false equivalency to whitewashing because white people are not even in the slightest loosing representation when a white character is re-imagined as a racial minority, whereas when racial minorities are re-imagined as white people, they are taking away from what is already very little representation for us. If we lived in a world where the statistics of representation were not so drastically disproportionate, then there would be something to talk about. But if you are really wanting to support equality, you should focus on equitably supporting those who actually need it, not white people. As for specifically depicting characters like Sokka and Katara with darker skin than what they have in the show, the same applies, (so long as it’s not racebending them as we really shouldn’t be taking representation away from each other, and the artist avatarfandompolice ridicules above has done no such thing,) because colourism also exists within nonwhite communities as well.

As for the fake questions about cosplaying, the answer is really simple: Cosplay however you want, but don’t make pretending to be a different race part of your cosplay. If you want to cosplay Katara, you can do it without painting your skin darker, aka brownface. If you want to cosplay Zuko, you can do it without editing yourself to look East Asian, aka digital yellowface. The racist history behind this is an internet search away, but I suppose that is too difficult for avatarfandompolice to do.

Avatarfandompolice has made multiple claims that people must not really care about whitewashing if they only call it out for Katara. It is laughable at best, and sad at worst, that this is the conclusion they come to, and not the fact that unfortunately Katara just happens to be subjected to more whitewashing than other characters. I assume this is from a mix of her popularity as well as being a WOC and not MOC. This is not to say that whitewashing does not exist with male characters—not in the slightest. Half the images on this “10 fan art pictures of Sokka that are just the best” list from CBR are whitewashed. Only that across fandoms, whitewashing is more prevalent in female characters, by my observations at least.

Finally—and this one pisses me off the most—avatarfandompolice claims that whitewashing is no big deal, but calling out whitewashing is too harmful to justify. How fucking dare you put the feelings of artists who can’t handle critique of their work (that they publicly share) over fans of colour, who are constantly subjected to seeing our identities and looks not being worth respecting. As if it doesn’t imprint on your mind from a very young age how only villains ever have your facial features, because they’re ugly and I guess that means you’re ugly. As if there is something wrong with you. As if respecting you is regarded as extra effort, and not just common courtesy.

Whitewashing is a form of colourism, which is a form of racism. It is the favouritism, unconscious or not, of white features and the erasure of visible characters of colour. It is not fandom drama. It is not being too lazy to focus on “real issues” because it is part of a real issue. It is yet another part of why fandom spaces are so uninviting to POC. We live in a society that favours lighter skin. Corporations make fortunes from selling products to bleach your skin, products to contour your features away or go as far as surgery, all to meet beauty standards set by and influenced by white colonizers. That does not exist in A:TLA, and that’s called refreshing escapism. But it’s hard to escape that when the fandom constantly reminds you otherwise. It is a perfect example of how the classic “just let people enjoy things” complaint is nothing but disguised racism, because it’s only ever said regarding white fans’ enjoyment, at the expense of fans of colour.

None of the characters in A:TLA are white. Redesigning them and recolouring them as if they are, be it out of accident or intent is wrong. If you get called out for it, apologize, learn from the experience and do better going forward. You’ll also improve your art this way.

Beyond excusing whitewashing, avatarfandompolice has overt racist posts as well. A Black fan said they like to headcanon Katara as being partially Black; “I swear Katara was a sister. Im convinced there ain't no way she didn't have some black in her.” Avatarfandompolice jumps in saying “She's literally an Inuit but ok” as if being an Inuk person means Katara can’t possibly also be Black. The OP never claimed Katara was not Indigenous, simply that they also saw her as Black. Black Indigenous peoples exist. Black Inuk peoples exist. It is overtly anti-Black to say otherwise. But what even is the point of talking to avatarfandompolice about that? You know, you would think in trying to put such a front up of caring about the Inuit, they would do the most basic learning of the proper grammatical use of Inuit and Inuk. (As is the case with a great many Indigenous Nations, Inuit is both the Nation and plural. Inuk is singular. “An Inuit” / “Inuits” as avatarfandompolice has used just makes their dressed-up racism all the more pathetic. It’s similar to as if you said “Chinas” instead of “Chinese”.)

But all this is nothing, nothing compared to the worst post I had the displeasure of seeing. In a single post, avatarfandompolice manages to squeeze in insult against low income people, Mexican people, Jewish people, and Black people in a mockery of financial help posts. Absolutely disgusting, childish behaviour from a place of privilege. As someone who has had no option but to make such a post before, more than once, let me fucking tell you that the embarrassment and desperation when in that situation is unparalleled. It is not done lightly. It is done when you are at the last resort of having nothing but hope that the combined generosity of others will be enough to save you and your family. And what adds a whole other level to the odiousness of avatarfandompolice’s post is that they specifically targeting low income minorities to boot. Because we’re all poor beggars, right?

All in all, for someone who prides themselves in calling others ignorant, avatarfandompolice has to be one of the most obtuse fandom blogs I have ever scrolled through. They are as vile as they are pathetic, and my sincere sympathy for anyone who has been unfortunate enough to interact with them. It has been a while since I so strongly recommend blocking someone.

[tropicoola]

Character backstory and explanation for one of my main inquisitors under the cut. Will feature images.

So I wanted to write about one of my main inquisitors, this is Levant Lavellan. She’s not really a Lavellan, because she was adopted into the clan when she was exiled from her home to the west. 

She’s a teenage inquisitor (16 when Inquisition starts and 20 when Trespasser ends) and a descendant of Ghilan’nain’s mutated slaves who escaped slavery before the fall of Arlathan/Elvhenan. It’s been referenced in the game that Ghilan’nain would create creatures and even experimented on her own followers/slaves so this was where I took the idea from, I suspected that there were at least some failed attempts. Anyways, eventually the slaves grew fed up  with how they were treated and attempted to flee. Fortunately (or unfortunately) Fen’harel had heard of this and wanted to help them, so he did but they were terrified. Having heard the terrifying stories of him. In addition, they were afraid they would no longer be treated as Elvhen for how beastly they looked and the fact that they were no longer immortal due to their mixed bloodline. So when Fen’harel was not looking, they escaped him and fled to the west over the Hunterhorn Mountains.

It was a mass exodus of grand peril, for the journey was filled with monsters, dark jungles, chilling mountains, scorching deserts, and, for the most part, uncharted territory. A normal Elvhen would have died, however they were no normal Elvhen. For they carried animalistic traits. For having the blood of animals and beasts, they had claws that could help them climb, some had wings, others had gills, others had fur that kept them warm, and most had unnatural colored skin (green, blue, silver, etc) that helped hide them from predators. Despite their different powers, there was one thing they all had in common - a deep tie to the nature that surrounded them. These people were almost entirely cut off from the Fade and instead they turned to the Earth beneath, but not to the Titans. They paid close attention to the sun, the stars, the winds, and all the creatures that crawled on the crust of the world. They did not talk to animals, but they understood that animals knew the way through these places the best and so they listened to them, followed them, and eventually found a clearing far from monsters and even farther from Elvhenan. It was here where they built their first settlement, living in peace with the animals. Eventually the settlement turned into an Empire and they dubbed it ‘Neo-Arlathan’ and closed its gates from foreigners for a very long time. Ever since, paying respects to natures and having beastly roots have become an intrinsic part of their culture.

I made art of what Neo-Arlathan would look like and although it is by no means as beautiful or intricate like Arlathan, it does have a charm of it’s own. Much of it and the people - I have taken inspiration from myths and legends of Faeries and their courts, their politics, and their appearances. Here are examples of the kind of aesthetic it would have: x, x, x, and x, x, x, x. The last four are mainly to point out how beastly they can look and yes, some do look exactly like that (also follow the artist!! they deserve a lot of love!! i admire them a lot).

(Pictured above, Levant with her claws coming out during Trespasser - a sign she is slowly maturing into whatever form she’ll be in as an adult)

In much of Faerie lore, the Fae are depicted as having pointed ears and dressed in clothes woven from insects (butterfly wings, moth wings, etc) and plants. They are known to be tricksters and volatile when even the slightest bit offended, their politics are commonly divided into two - the seelie and unseelie court. The first being filled with kinder Fae and the latter with more malevolent ones. Levant belongs to the latter, specifically the Autumn court. I won’t get into too much about this but if you think human politics is complicated, Fae politics is ten times more. Taking inspiration from this, the court Levant is in has a High Power (the king or queen) and needs an advisor because of how dangerous the politics are. Levant was studying to be the next advisor and was close to becoming one until a dispute between her and the High Power caused her to get exiled. 

In short, the High Powers (plural because the others in different courts were involved) wanted to 1) destroy any remnant of Arlathan/Elvhenan and 2) rename Neo-Arlathan under the basis of ‘why should we keep records of our abusers? let us burn it and move ahead’. Levant was extremely against this, especially because she was a scholar who was very interested in her people’s past. She even started a rebellion with her colleagues but that was stopped fast by the ones in charge, although her colleagues were allowed still in the Empire - because she was their leader she was sentenced to be exiled into Thedas under the basis of ‘if she loved Elvhenan so much, she can live there for the rest of her damn life’.

Distraught and alone in Thedas, she was surprised to find.... well... a lot of things (racist things, war things, apparently Elvhenan was dead things, and did you know about the Fade? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THE FADE things). She literally did not understand anything, that was until she met the Dalish - until she met clan Lavellan. They were literally everything she could have hoped for. Unlike her people, they cared for what was left of Arlathan and Elvhenan. They also worshipped the Evanuris/Creators, unlike her people who saw them as slave keeping monsters (Levant is a rebel, at this point she’s everything against her people). This, in retrospect, is incredibly funny for me. Because she has been fed nothing but the truth since she was born, ‘Evanuris bad, they keep slaves’ ‘We have actual records of them being bad’ ‘Why do you think we look like this, Levant’ and Levant’s just ‘(in Dorian’s mocking voice) tRiTE pROPagANDA’. 

Anyways, although Levant wanted to share what she knew from her home she knew they wouldn’t believe (after meeting with other Dalish that didn’t really agree prior to clan Lavellan). She simply went along with the ‘City Elf who wants to be Dalish’ and she was in (reminder that she was 14 when she was exiled into Thedas)! She became a hunter and was much loved, and she loved everyone back just as much. Yet over time, it seemed like her secrets could not be kept for long. Eventually it got out, drama ensued, and after so much time trying to be Dalish - something she was not, Levant felt something in her broke.  She knew she would never be Dalish, never be like them, so she refused her Vallaslin and told them she had to leave - she needed to see Thedas and find out where she really belonged. Her clan forgave her over time and advised her to be careful, for an unmarked elf meant something - usually easier prey for slavers. Understanding this, Levant made it routine to draw her Vallaslin on every morning with a special ink and wash it off every night. She chose Mythal and clung to her religion of the Creators like a child to their mother’s skirts, praying she’d find her place.

She just never imagined it would be the inquisition. 

Now since we know how inquisition plays out, here are just a few tidbits:

Nobody believes her at first (typical)

Until they find her notes and books she took with her from the Empire (at which point Solas is ??????? ???????? SHE KNOWS ?????????)

Solas’ reactions are the funniest because while she sees him as a mentor and eventually a father figure he is almost constantly on the verge of ‘she has so much potential’ or ‘i need to get the fuck out of here’

Also it’s funny to see him going absolutely crazy at the fact she’s like ‘yeah my people said the evanuris were bad and they kept slaves and vallaslin r slave markings but they’re really not’ and he’s like (in a croaked voice) ‘oh??? who said so?’ ‘the dalish’ (in an even more croaked voice) ‘and you believe them?’ ‘i swear by the creators’ (cue solas’ inner monologue going absolute bonkers) IT’S LIKE SHE’S HITTING ALL THE MARKS BUT SHE KEEPS MISSING THEM AT THE SAME TIME???

‘oh but my people said fen’harel was bad’ ‘at least your people and the dalish have one thing in common’ ‘right?’ ‘.... yes’

which only makes the ending of inquisition and trespasser hurt even more

finding out that her people were right and Levant has been playing ‘know-it-all’ for the past 6 years of her life, that the creators really were bad, that mythal is in a form of a human woman, and that a man she considered her father figure and mentor was the dread wolf? who tried to help her people but they refused him? and now he wants to destroy the world?

her troubles with identity (inquisitor? levant? a lavellan? elvhen? an elf? a fae? a beast? a person? an imposter? a fool?), religion (who to believe, the maker? the creators? the earth and beasts, as her people do?), family issues, and culture.

culture because she suddenly finds it unfair that her people got off this train wreck of a history before the fall, how many lives were spared because they left early. how grateful and horrified she might have been when she saw the shattered library, heard the voices of the distant brethren of her ancestors.

standing before solas at the end and wondering if she should just go home, beg for a place in her court, wait for the world to end - what hope did thedas have? after having her heart shattered like that?

were her people right? was burning anything they had of arlathan/elvhenan justified? were her emotions just stupid, insensitive of the truth of it all? were her people being prideful and haughty as usual, or was there an act of kindness and progress in it? what if they were right? what if they really should just move on? should she move on as well?

god knows if she doesn’t, she might end up like Solas.

but like... despite that i feel like she’d still come to believe what the dalish believe. sort of caught in between her leaving thedas to go back home or just fully 100% acknowledging herself as a lavellan or just being a silent and distant protector of the dalish

yknow, like a wolf (considering she’ll grow to have a wolf and lion-like appearance)

like a neo-fen’harel.

O SHIT I LIKE THAT!!!!!

anyways sorry for all the word vomit but this is what i have on levant so far!

also cool tidbit: instead of Solas offering Abelas another place in the world, it’s Levant who offers him the secret to getting to the Empire in the west. After a lot of talking, he takes it and leaves.

[pacificwanderer]

Super Salacious B. Crumb Sunday Headcanons!

Lots of thoughts and speculation about what’s to come/what people want with The Rise of Skywalker and some fun headcanons :)

lotus063 said:

Imagine before Rey, there was a Mandalorian named Rin aka daughter of Ezra Bridger who was a member of the Resistance but was like if Rey was more of a personal assassin for them resulting in her leaving because she was being used as a weapon. Cue Rey and Rin meeting with Rin being a jaded Mandalorian Jedi who thinks the light and dark should reconcile while Rey thinks the order should be pure light resulting in a lot of tension between them during training.

I’m a huge Mando fan, so I’d love to see more Mandalorian’s in the ST and I’m super excited for the series. This sounds like a great story, Nonnie. I’m always down for drama concerning dogma and interpretations of the Light and Dark. Cheers! Thanks for sharing!

I feel like the scar will stay just cause it's so different looking. If they wanted to give her a scar why not just give her a normal line, instead she's got the hand type things reaching. I'd hope so anyway cause everyone's analysis on that has been pretty cool.

Hey Nonnie, I agree. It’s pretty iconic and symbolic, I can’t imagine why you’d focus in on the moment of her receiving the scar, only to like ignore it later. Additionally, she’s got that strategically placed armband (that mirror’s Padme’s costume and oh, conveniently, her scarring as well). Most things in movies that are worthy of focus happen for a reason. She’s marked now, just as he is for her. I also enjoy the analysis, so here’s hoping it stays :)

I love that "Heirs to the Force" was the title that John thought of for this film. He said the plural form which means both Rey and Ben are the heirs rather than just her being the sole legacy bearer or whatever.

Hey Nonnie, I kind of liked how it could refer to anyone and everyone. One of the important aspects of the ST I enjoy is that it really makes sure to focus on the fact that the Force belongs to everyone and that anyone can be a hero. But it also definitely could be referring to multiple individuals who are going to carry that torch forward, instead of having to trudge through alone. Wonder if John has seen the actual end? Haha. Cheers!

Did you see the MSW leaks? “Rey and Kylo clash and as they battle the backgrounds change into places throughout Star Wars’ vast locations from the nine part Skywalker saga.” I’m so confused! How does this work for them? Do they themselves realize what is happening or are they so focused on each other that they don’t realize what is happening around them? It sounds really cool but I honestly cannot really imagine this. And it seems this will happen very early on in the film.

Another anon:

When MSW said Rey and Kylo fight through the force bond - the way it was worded on Reddit makes it sound like it may not be that they are fighting each other. I wonder if they fight as a team through the bond or train through it. But I didn’t listen to the podcast so idk if that’s more clear.

Another anon:

Apparently MSW said that the first scene in the teaser is NOT the first time Rey and Kylo meet. A poster from reddit said “I am listening to the podcast now, and he very clearly is just using that scene as a spring board to say that he has heard that they meet in Jordan early on (which honestly probably just means not at the end), and that later when they have a fight it's flashing/Force link related as they move between different locations.” I’m confused now with the fight/force bond scene.

Hey Nonnies, my policy for leaks is that they’re okay to have fun with, but it’s best not to take them too seriously lol. At this point, JJ hasn’t even finished editing the movie, so anyone who’s speculating on what happens is literally doing just that, speculating. 

I want the stuff in the "leaks" to happen but I also don't trust any of the leaks to be accurate and don't believe them. If that makes sense.

Hey Nonnie, makes perfect sense to me. It’s not so much fun if everything is spoiled before the story has a chance to take place and, given that JJ isn’t even finished editing the movie, I have a tendency to believe they’re more speculation than anything else.

Fanboys have such a massive disconnect between what the movies are about and what they want. They're not bringing old Palpy back just so Kylo and Rey can spend 90% of the movie trying to kill each other. That's not evolving a relationship, that's just boring repetition.

Some people bitched endlessly that TFA was “too like ANH” but now that RotS has the potential be just like other OT movies, they’re all for it? This is why it’s just a good idea to do what needs to be done for the story and fuck anything else. People are going to bitch regardless, so might as well give them a reason lol.

It’s GO HOME or GO BIG when it comes to Reylo in TROS. I am hoping that LF and JJ can fully deliver the dynamic in the last movie (preferably more scenes of them alone and working really well together and a kiss).

I’m sure they’ll go big with this :) It’s a space opera, after all, gotta have some drama and theatrics in there (and dramatic kissing is a must). Cheers!

My only "worry" about getting ambiguous or straight up romantic Reylo is how much weight these people place on the "it would be bad message for girls!!!" discourse going around. I don't think they care that much, they're trying to reach a global audience and kids, mostly?

I wouldn’t worry about that. They did a great job of showing Rey retaining her agency (aka the reason she didn’t join Kylo, but will help to save Ben). Their sexism is blatant because no one says the same about Luke (either with how he saves Vader or Ma//ra Jade). Those people are loud but ultimately have as much impact on the outcome of the story as I do lol (which is none). Cheers!

I decided to look up anagrams (i'm bored) for 'ben solo kylo ren' and one of the anagrams on the list was 'broke lonely son' and now I'm sad. :'(

BLOCKED lol jk. I’ve seen that before and it still makes me sad. Poor Ben :(

I'm laughing at the thought of Finn and Poe having some old couple bickering sesh over a chess game and Ben just skypes in like "psssst, Rey, you wanna do something cool with me?"

Haha. I’m really excited to see the whole dynamic here. I think Oscar and John have crazy rapport (though they’re all charming as fuck, so no surprise there). I’m also interested in seeing what the gang thinks about Rey’s connection with Kylo because DRAMA.

Do you think they're going to walk back on Finnrose? I know John Boyega likes to joke around when it comes to romance in the trilogy, but he's always been honest during press tours. The way he deflected the Finnrose question asked in the IX panel by saying everyone has good chemistry makes me think Disney is leaning into Stormpilot. They had the picture of Finn and Poe ready to go as John and Oscar made jokes. I don't think they'll make it canon but I could see them teasing it.

Not after John’s comments concerning his friendships with Chewie, P/e, and Rey, I don’t lol. But as far as I’m concerned Finnrose is canon (though I love storm//pilot). I think they’re just avoiding talking about plot points in this story. I think that they might go with P/e being in love with Fi/n, or at least leaving that open to interpretation., but we’ll have to see. 

[artificialqueens]

Waiting For Your Moment To Fall On Me (Vixie) - Pilandok

AN: I haven’t been here in a while. Oh wow, I’m writing Vixie again. It’s because of the odd resurgence of Vixie pics on tumblr and Trixie’s ig story of that poodle figurine and she tagged Violet. *tears*

This is part of my drabble collection in Ao3 although it’s longer than a drabble. Read the other drabbles here:

I Love You Anyway

It’s the Same Old Thing

The first time Violet kissed Trixie, it was a joke, though more like a prank. A little mean-spirited gesture meant to throw Trixie off and it did. He reacted the way Violet wanted to: frustrated, blubbering, and blushing furiously. Before Violet could bask in her victory, production came over and scolded them, saying they should stop bickering like children and in not too many words that this was not the kind of drama they were looking for. Not them throwing playground insults (“no, you’re the ugly bitch”) at one another.

           Trixie had all but forgotten that fight until he watched that episode of Untucked and found that it didn’t make the cut. Trixie didn’t think too much about the disappointment he felt. He wanted to know how it looked like.

           “It would’ve made great TV!” Violet shouted. This was in another time, in another place—in Violet’s New York apartment just after her fashion show. Miss Fame was there and, through a series of random happenstances, Trixie was, too.

           “Yeah, if I was going to get assaulted by you on day twelve of you not showering then the least I could get was more screen time.”

           “Must be because they couldn’t think of a storyline between the season winner and someone who was there for like a total of two seconds,” Violet replied. She was clinging to Miss Fame, demanding affection like a cat.

           “Bitch!” Trixie screams.

           “Wait, that happened? That happened?” Fame asked, confused as ever. She turned her head side to side to look at Violet and Trixie who were sitting either side of him. They didn’t answer her. Trixie looked at Fame affectionately and hugged the arm that Violet wasn’t clinging to. Fame leaned against him slightly. When Violet saw this, she made a sound and repositioned herself to curl up on Miss Fame’s lap.

           “Did you just purr?” Trixie asked, laughing.

           “Shut up,” Violet retorted. What she hated was that Trixie got under her skin as much as she did him and can that he can throw her off, too. She still hadn’t forgiven Trixie clocking her missing contact that first day in the workroom.

           “That’s what happens when you spend too much time around that evil cat of yours.”

           “Do not come for my cats, bitch.” Violet sat up to glare at Trixie. “Just because your only friends growing up were the feral mutts you had to take flea baths with, you country hick.”

           “No, I’m serious, Violet. Your cat looks like it’s plotting to kill you for your pasties.”

           “Bitch, you’re just jealous they got more hair than you.”

           The bickering and fighting for Miss Fame’s attention wasn’t new, it was a familiar scene for all of them. It wasn’t just Fame, it was anyone who gets caught up in their stupid arguments. But with Katya, she has enough affection to give both of them, and Pearl doesn’t care enough to humor either of them. Fame enjoyed the attention but she can’t help but think about those cockfighting videos he watched when he was younger that left him traumatized.

           By the time Fame left them for a sanity break, Trixie and Violet have circled back to “you’re the ugly bitch” and “no, you’re the ugly bitch.” Back and forth, they throw shallow insults at each other that became so convoluted and obscure that it was driving them to hysterical laughter.

           “Fuck,” Violet was tearing up, the laughing was hurting her sides. “In drag, you look like a factory-reject matryoshka doll that came out of Katya’s ass.” Trixie opened her mouth to scream but Violet wasn’t done yet, “and out of drag you look like a homunculi baby Jesus that Mary regretted not aborting.”

           “Oh my god,” Trixie laughed in disbelief. After a beat he quipped, “it’s homunculus, by the way, singular.”

           Violet punched his abdomen slightly and Trixie realized that she was resting her head on his lap. With Fame in the other room, Violet had redirected his affection to Trixie.

           “No bitch, plural,” Violet answered, “you’re literally a thousand ugly babies.”

           Violet had been tracing her fingers absentmindedly on Trixie’s stomach and suddenly he became conscious of the shift in the mood. An odd tension bubbled up He felt compelled to continue their insult trade-off to escape the strange atmosphere.

           “And you… you’re—you look like…” Trixie was coming up with blanks and he caught Violet looking at him smugly. He realized that Violet knew exactly what was she was doing.

           “You can’t think of anymore cause you know I’m pretty,” Violet said, now fully confident, “you know I’m hot.”

           Trixie is sure that it was meant to be a jab but it sounded like a challenge. They’ve been arguing the whole night, he wasn’t about to give up now. He just needed to throw Violet off once more. And he knew exactly how to do that.

           They had their second kiss that night—and their third, their fourth, and fifth, and sixth.

—

           Their seventh was the start of a game. In a boat full of drag queens, the objective was to not get caught. Trixie didn’t know how it escalated to that point, but the next thing he knew, they were ducking corners to sneak quick kisses from each other. In the crowd, they catch each other’s hands with lingering touches and without anyone looking, they share knowing winks.

           It concerned Trixie slightly that Violet was living her best life playing this game—giggling whenever she managed to steal a kiss before Trixie even saw her coming, grabbing her ass in the presence of other people, then whispering for him to follow her to darker rooms for full make out sessions. Trixie followed, naturally, though he realized soon enough that it stopped being a game they played together because now they were on different teams. His task became that he had to keep up with Violet jumping around endlessly, popping out of nowhere to tease him. Violet’s objective seemed to be to get Trixie, who wasn’t in drag, to pitch a tent. And with that, Violet nibbled on Trixie’s ear then ran off. Trixie’s sure she was playing to win.

           Maybe they weren’t as secretive as they thought they were, especially with the free-flowing drinks leaving them significantly buzzed.

           “You have something on your neck,” Kim Chi said, making a motion to wipe it off. Trixie rushed to wipe it himself and found some pigment of what was unmistakably Violet’s purple. Kim Chi looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Trixie ignored it and turned to look for Violet, spotting her a few acquaintances over talking to some people. He waited for a few seconds before marching over, catching her as she was trying to slip away from the conversation.

           She laughed when he explained her carelessness, “thought you knew, bitch.” Violet patted him on the crotch as she walked away for good measure. Despite his irritation, he felt something stir up inside him. He was losing bad. Trixie rushed to follow Violet who was already talking to another group of people. He cut in unceremoniously.

           “Oh, excuse me. I’m going to need to borrow Violet because some folks were looking for her to talk business,” he said innocently and turned to Violet. “Vi, those people from ancient-twinks-dot-com want to talk to you about the project you proposed?”

           Violet’s mouth dropped in disbelief but before she could protest, Trixie grabbed her by the wrist and began cutting through the crowd. He led them to the bathrooms, gendered signs being ignored throughout the night, and pulled them into the nearest one.

           “Bitch, you—mmph! “Violet’s lips were quickly occupied by Trixie’s as he pushed her against the wall of the bathroom. It was a hungry and hurried kiss with his face pressing harshly onto Violet’s. Her arms darted out to steady herself but Trixie was quick to hold on to her wrists to pin them above her head. Fuck, Violet thought she may be starting to lose again, whatever this game was. They kept changing the rules that she didn’t know exactly what it entailed to win.

Violet didn’t struggle against the grip, instead returning the kiss with equal vigor. Trixie didn’t let off, continuing to kiss her roughly and in the heat of the moment, he bit down on her lip harshly.

           Violet responded with a strangled noise, bucking her hips instinctively.

           This reaction surprised Trixie enough to pull away. He released his grip on her arms and they fell limply to her sides as she slid slightly against the wall. Violet looked spent and the sight of her flushed and panting redirected whatever blood flow was left to his brain southbound.

           Trixie let himself slump forward on to Violet. She felt his whole body against hers and found the rigidness between his legs pressing against her thigh. Trixie took her hand again and guided it to press against his erection over his pants. Violet perked up, this had got to be an admission of defeat.

           “Nobody makes me as hard as you do,” Trixie said in a strained voice. It was a strangely intimate statement. More intimate than Trixie probably realized. This caught Violet off-guard and despite her flushed skin, she blushed. Her sure-win was suddenly becoming unclear again as her mind began to race at Trixie’s words. Violet kept thinking about how much she liked having Trixie like this, pressed up against her and so very conscious about how much he wants her.

           Trixie didn’t make an attempt to move and was seemingly unaware of Violet’s internal crisis.

           “It wasn’t the game or whatever,” Trixie began, “I brought you here cause I wanted to do that.”

           Violet wondered if Trixie was hearing what he was saying, she wonders if he’s still playing the game because her winning was starting to feel like she was losing again. But this time, he seemed to have little desire to analyze his own words, just content in having said those things out loud. Violet remained quiet, although she could swear that Trixie could feel her heart rattling against her rib cage. If he did, he didn’t say anything about it.

           A few minutes more passed before Trixie pushed himself off Violet, gesturing to the door. Violet understood this as them needing to get out before people got suspicious. Trixie chuckled when he saw how messed up Violet looked. She glared at him but was met with Trixie’s apologetic smile. For some reason, neither of them was saying anything. Trixie left first and Violet took the time to fix herself up and gather her thoughts. Her mind was in a whirl, she wanted to do something about it.

           It was easier than she thought, to forget that they were in a game. Even though everything before was just that.

           Violet suddenly rushed out of the bathroom to look for Trixie, the thought of the game now filed under things that don’t matter. No more sneaking around, she just wanted to kiss Trixie again. Maybe in the middle of a boat full of their peers and queer cruisers, it didn’t matter.

           She found him on the other side of the deck, leaning against a railing. Violet made her way to Trixie, not noticing that he was talking to their friends. Trixie spotted her when she was a few meters away and made a face as if he hadn’t seen her all night long. The fake expression fell away, however, when he realized Violet was making a beeline for him.

           Right before Violet reached him, there was a loud explosion in the sky behind Violet. She didn’t turn around, however, fixated only on Trixie. She watched the flashes of colors appear on his face and only then did she realize that they were surrounded by people they knew.

           Fuck it, let them see.

           Violet pulled Trixie by his shirt and pressed her mouth onto his. When Trixie wrapped his arms around her waist, it felt like her last victory for the night.

           When they pulled away from the kiss, the fireworks were still ongoing. Everyone on the deck was fixated on the sight. Including everyone around that they knew.

           Trixie looked at Violet incredulously. Nobody saw them.

           “How did you know that there was going to be a fireworks display?”

           Violet laughed, as surprised as Trixie was because she had no idea, no idea at all.

[suckthatagustd]

Three Years, Four Months, and 17 Days - Also, a Trademarked Chocolate Donut

summary: so maybe jin’s accusations had some merit, after all.

rating: t 

genre: a little bit of angst and some not-so-well-placed humor 

warnings: cursing and maybe a hint of food porn 

pairing: kim seokjin x reader 

a/n: first fic, and I would really appreciate some comments and/or reviews!! I would like to know how I did, and if there are any ways I could improve, I'd be glad to hear them! Also, I may take requests if they interest me (sorry if that came out rude but also I'm kind of not sorry, sorry) in order to get some more stuff out and circulating. thx k bye

 The last thing Jin expected to see while walking to his favorite café with the intention of surprising his girlfriend of three years (four months and 17 days -but who's counting?) with donuts was to see said girlfriend of three years (four months and 17 days) feeding said donuts to some other man. 

Now, Jin was never one to base things off of first impressions, and he liked to think he was fairly rational when it came to issues that normal people would, for lack of a better word, lose their composure over.

 Perhaps, understandably though, his mind jumped to one blaring conclusion that seemed painfully obvious: his girlfriend of three years (four months and 17 days goddammit) was cheating on him – at their favorite café, no less!

 "What nerve," he hissed between his clenched teeth (still impossibly straight and pearly white so how could you possibly think of cheating on him of all people?) and his eyes narrowed as far as a human possibly could with no genetic enhancement (this isn't a fucking hybrid AU, so there is no reason why they would narrow into slits you unrealistic, naïve, little -), but this was a predictable initial reaction, right? 

He would like to say that upon seeing this sight, he had a nostalgic flashback to their first date in this same little café three years ago (three years, four months, and 17 days, but who's counting? Not him, obviously), but honestly, his mind was primarily occupied with the disturbingly cruel thoughts of how to get out of the relationship while maintaining custody of the dog (because truly, isn't losing your dog of two years, four months, and 17 days one of the worst pains to ever experience? Like your heart being torn in two much how Jin's was right at this very moment?). 

 And while Jin would have wanted nothing more than to storm up to you and the (oh my god he's actually really attractive but goddammit so are you, Jin! - Oh my god why was he talking in the third person?) man you were shamelessly feeding a chocolate donut with extra chocolate icing and chocolate sprinkles (gasp are you really feeding Jin's favorite donut to this man right now? You monster -!), he would have rather not started a scene like some poorly-scripted K-Drama (how dare you turn his life into a poorly-scripted K-Drama you uncultured swine -!). 

Instead, he, like the totally mature and cool adult that he was, pivoted around and began walking back to your shared apartment (with every intention of bribing Chimmy with his favorite pretzel treats so when the time came for the dog to choose between his two owners, he would most certainly choose his daddy because mommy is a cheating cuntwaffle who obviously can't stay attached to one object of affection), but not without shooting one last glare over his shoulder to see this incriminating view.

 »~» 

You came home almost five hours (four hours, 57 minutes, and 39 seconds but who's counting?) later, but were fairly puzzled by the failure of your beloved Chimmy jumping all over your legs. Pouting, you kicked off your heels at the front door and set your purse on the island in your kitchen before languidly stretching your arms over your head like a content kitty ("yeah," Jin scoffed to himself, "I bet she's content alright.").

"Babe, I'm home!" Your frown etched deeper into your lips when you did not receive your expected response, as you knew he was home judging by the placement of his shoes by the front door. Upon peering around the corner to see your beloved boyfriend calmly sitting on the couch with his legs crossed and Chimmy in his lap, you grinned belatedly and sauntered over to the pair.

"Hey, baby," you greeted once more, placing a chaste peck on his cheek while also petting Chimmy's head lovingly, and then proceeded to sit next to them on the couch with your legs tucked. "How was your day?" 

The blank expression on his face (or lack thereof?) caused your brow to furrow, and you gazed upon your boyfriend of three years (...) with worry. 

 "Babe, what's wrong? Did something bad happen?" 

 All Jin did was keep staring ahead, stroking Chimmy's head (like that scene from The Godfather, but no less intimidating) and keeping his plump lips in a straight line. 

 You were slightly irritated by a lack of response, but having been with this man for quite a while now (.....), you knew that he did not often show negativity unless the situation was dire. That being said, what could have possibly caused your boyfriend to feel this way? 

"Jin, baby, please talk to me," you encouraged softly, reaching up to caress his cheek, but were swiftly ushered into a state of shock when your hand was abruptly smacked away (lightly, though, because he was not heartless like some people, obviously). 

Your expression quickly morphed into something irate, and your jaw quite literally dropped. "Excuse you? What was that?!" 

Jin collectedly swiveled his head around to directly face you, but he no longer wore a face of indifference; instead, his heated expression met yours with the same ferocity. 

"Excuse me?" He questioned rhetorically, momentarily pausing his repetitive strokes on Chimmy's head (Chimmy, blissfully unaware of the rising tension between his two owners, grumpily raised his head to see why the pets had stopped, but was too lazy so he set his head back down with hopes of Dad continuing his previous ministrations soon), but his tone was deceptively composed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just don't want the filthy hands that touched the Chocolate Supreme Donut™ to grope my face." 

Your fury was quickly exchanged for a "what the actual fuck?" expression that clearly demonstrated your (most definitely unwarranted) confusion. 

 "Allow me to explain, since you're obviously not picking up what I'm dropping here -" 

"Did you just fucking -" 

"And that is you decided to go and buy the Chocolate Supreme Donut™, my favorite, but you already knew that, right? You bought this donut - my favorite donut - and proceeded to feed it to some other man." 

Your jaw dropped (again, because it seems Jin was just full of surprises today) and you opened your mouth to reply, but Jin instead shoved a fucking pretzel down your throat (what the actual fuck), temporarily preventing you from speaking (you may be a suspected cheater, but even you know it's improper to talk with food in your mouth). 

"Now, baby, I'm sure you're smelling what I'm cookin'?" 

("Enough with the fucking idioms, Jin." 

"...No.") 

Jin held his head high and warped his pillow lips into a triumphant smirk, but there was an undertone of barely-concealed hurt that caused an ache in your heart; however, that was soon overcome by your unbridled rage. 

"Are you implying that I cheated on you?!" 

Jin's cocky facade quickly transformed into something far more affronted and heart-breaking. 

"I fucking saw you with another man at our café, feeding him my favorite flavor donut, while holding his hand! What else was I supposed to think?!" 

"How about maybe me showing my cousin around the city, you asshole!" 

»~»

 Now, Jin was a lot of things - an excellent cook, incredibly attractive (he was the visual out of his group of friends, obviously), fairly intelligent, and even a relatively fast sprinter (that 100m dash? He owned that bitch); but, maybe not the best at handling delicate issues. 

Exhibit A: Staging an intervention for Jungkook and his less-than-healthy working out habits (ironically enough). 

(Who knew Jungkook could cry that much? Certainly not Jin, obviously. 

But Yoongi? Most certainly. Insensitive bastard.)

 Exhibit B: Accusing his girlfriend of three years, four months, and 17 days of cheating on him. 

 A cousin? Really? Shouldn't he have factored it in? 

 He didn't know you had a cousin! 

("We've been together for over three years, Jin, and you've once asked me about my cousins." 

Cousins? As in plural?! 

You sighed.)

You, however, seemed to be on the borderline between bawling your eyes out and carving his eyes out (but maybe possibly perhaps he deserved it). 

"I can't believe" (a sniffle) "you thought I" (a hiccup) "that I -" (a sob – goddammit why did Jin feel like he was about to cry?) "that I cheated on you? After over three years of dating?" (three years, four months, and 17 days - sigh - forget it) "I can't believe this." 

So maybe (possibly perhaps) Jin felt like the biggest asshole of all time, and his anger rapidly transformed into something more somber and guilty. 

"Baby, I'm really sorry! I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions like that, but I just..." 

His words tapered off into a whisper until they eventually died on his lips altogether, but the wet gleam in your eyes cracked his heart in two (or three. Or four. Okay, fine - no less than a million) pieces. 

"You just what? Called our relationship into question because you could never be bothered to ask about my possible family? So now I'm the aggressor because you weren't involved enough? But now I have to suffer through this emotional turmoil because you couldn't be bothered to walk over and ask?" Your words became more accusatory and full of venom with each passing syllable, and Jin cowered back into the couch upon hearing them (Chimmy, meanwhile, vacated the couch about five minutes ago in search of food because he was clearly unaffected by his parents arguing and goddammit Jin knew he should have picked the Chiweenie instead -). 

"Baby -" 

"No, you know what? I need time to myself. I need to evaluate this relationship because apparently I've given you everything and it seems you have yet to do so." 

Jin's jaw dropped and his (rather otherwise deliciously tan) skin paled in an instant. He did not move into action, though, until he noticed you were halfway to the door and already had your purse in your arm. 

He scrambled off the faux leather (as if he could afford the real deal! It wasn't like he was a famous idol or anything) and nearly tripped over a sleeping Chimmy (who, upon seeing his empty bowl, returned to the foot of the couch and decided to nap instead). His shoes squeaked on the floor and by the time he gathered his bearings, you had both heels on and were prepared to open the door. 

"No, baby, please!" He was tugging on your unoccupied wrist, but quickly released it upon seeing the scathing glare you shot his hand while it was latched onto you. "I made a mistake, but that doesn't mean I care any less about you! I love you so much and I would do anything to make you happy -" 

"If you really want me to be happy, Jin," you interrupted, not even bothering to look into his eyes and subsequently the tears threatening to pool over his lash line. "Then you'll leave me alone until I feel that I'm ready to look you in the eyes without calling everything we've built up into question; until I feel like you love me as much as I love you." 

And just like that, you walked out the door, leaving Jin to wallow in his guilt for the next few hours (days, actually, but maybe possibly perhaps Jin deserved it.)

 (Or not.) 

»~» 

When you stepped out of Jin's apartment, your budding tears quickly dried up and you wiped the residual tracks of sticky mascara from your cheeks with a disgusted sneer. While muttering belligerent curses under your breath (which may or may not have concerned a certain nosy, handsome, tall, charming, handsome, smart, sweet, handsome bastard - did you say handsome? Well, just in case, handsome), you briskly walked to the apartment complex's garage where your car was currently parked. 

You fumbled with the keys upon reaching your vehicle, hands shaking only slightly (not out of fear like one might expect, but instead nervousness) while you unlocked your door. You gave the quiet lot just one more wary sweep with your eyes before sliding into the driver's seat, setting your purse on the console and retrieving your phone from within. 

You pressed a series of numbers that made up your password, then scrolled to your contacts. You selected the name you had been searching for, and pressed the call button while chewing your nails anxiously (not enough to bite them off, though, because that was not a habit you needed to be picking up again). 

After three rings, he picked up. 

(Thank god.) 

"Hi babe, what's up? I really loved that donut shop you showed me today, so maybe we can go again sometime?" 

With a deep inhale, and an even louder exhale, you responded. 

"Hey, um, I think we should end this."

[ladypjmoon]

BTS FF Reads for August

Greetings Readers!!!

Here’s my BTS FanFiction Recommendations for August!!!  

This is the last long-ish reading list for the summer as university terms begin later this month for the majority of the US.  I hope you all had a fantastic summer and were able to create happy memories with family, friends and maybe even a love interest!!!  

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01)   Title: Blow Me Like Your French Horn

Ship:  Jikook

Author:  by ohdizzy

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/5742976 

Summary: In which Jimin undergoes a transformation from Cinnamon Roll to Sinnamon Roll and Jeongguk is a little too ompetitive, a little too tsundere, and a little bit too moony-eyed for his own good.  (A tale of red converses, sandpit wrestling, shitty best friends a little too obsessed with playing Cupid, emotional constipation, existential crises, and that one body roll Jimin does that makes Jeongguk re-evaluate his life)

“i see that you adore playing your loud ass trumpet at random moments in the middle of the night, well fyi i happen to be a master at the French horn so fuck u i challenge you to a brass off” AU

My Review: Wow, I adored this story—it’s packed with fun, mischief and mayhem...but the ‘feels’ are definitely here too!  Jungkook is emotionally constipated and entirely to competitive with his new neighbor and we follow their relationship from age 7 into college.  This has fantastic dialog and a healthy side of Taegi so enjoy!

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 02)   Title: don't be like a prey (smooth like a like a snake)

Ship:  Jikook

Author:  by sugacravings

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/10749690

Summary:  “what do you mean, me?” jimin asks dubiously, blinking up at the village leaders. he sees taemin scrunch his eyebrows in worry, and minho grimaces.  “out of all the qualifying youths, hoseok is immediately a no,” kibum pipes up. “he’s scared of garden snakes. and tae...well, tae would just get lost.”  jimin tries to think of a way to defend his friends’ honour but comes up empty.  

(a red riding hood au except not the original plot and gay)

My Review: Here’s another Jikook story with a very loosely related Red Riding Hood, fairytale theme.  All the BTS members are in this one and it’s a solid plot, well written and quite funny in places.  There is implied smutt but it’s not graphic or pwp by any means.  

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 03)   Title: In The Same Boat

Ship:  Vmin

Author:  by pornographicpenguin

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/11221653

Summary:  "You want to what?"

"Dock," Jimin says.

Taehyung blinks. "You mean like...with a boat?"

My Review: Holy fuck this is some fabulous shit!!! There’s a fuckton of sexual tension packed into these 9 pages and it’s not all smut—there’re some serious sparks and feels between these two...you literally taste it, lol!!!  You will fall in love with this story!!!          

 __________

 04)   Title: just stay here (forever, if you want)

Ship:  Taegi

Author:  by Indigofingers

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/8257759

Summary:  "My roommate is drunk and won't open the door, can I sleep here tonight?"  Or, Yoongi doesn't let people sleep in his room but can't turn Taehyung away. Invites him to stay, even.

My Review:  This Taegi story is your basic feel-good plot on crack.  I’m a sucker for anything Yoongi—but a soft, grumpy hyung is my personal favorite...and this story oozes Yoongi fluff so check it out!  

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 05)   Title:  Love Me Across The Universes

Ship:  Taekook | Vkook

Author:  by Kavbj

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/7784662

Summary:  It starts and ends with Jungkook chasing after the boy he sees in glass windows and passing reflections.  It starts and ends with Taehyung.

My Review: This is a very powerful plot that will sneak up on you.  I found it enthralling—but I will warn you up front, the author did not wrap the ending up with a nice, neat little bow on top—so if you don’t like teary goodbyes, you’re having an emotional week or just a little short on sunshine...then you might want to pass on this one.  

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 06)   Title: Of Spiced Honey and Apples

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by tinycloverspot

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/7252357

Summary:  One month of separation across a seemingly infinite sea and Jimin was finally back in Yoongi's arms.  Jimin was finally back home.  Or: Jimin comes home and they have filthy sex yeah that's a better summary XD

My Review: And here’s a short Yoonmin story—straight up ABO smut.  Jimin is great as a sexy, possessive alpha—so grab some ice for your drink...it’s about to get a little hot!  

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 07)   Title: One Minute English

Ship:  Vmon

Author:  by rosiex

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/9622331

Summary:  Sometimes you don't need words to understand each other.  Or: Namjoon goes to Seoul and meets a handsome stranger.  Just a very short fluffy piece inspired by the Rapmon 1 minute English lesson on the latest Vapp broadcast.

 My Review: Here’s a sweet little 5-pager that will absolutely melt your heart—this is full of fluff and feels with a picture-perfect ending too.  You will want to download this one and read it over and over again!!!

__________

 08)   Title: Boys who Talk Shit

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by internetpistol

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/6535498

Summary:  When Yoongi enrolled in BTS (aka Boys who Talk Shit) Boarding School, he wasn't really expecting to be the only 'straight' (to be read sarcastically) guy in a room of seven geniuses (aka children aged five to ten, honestly). Plus four pet spiders. Yes, plural.  Chaotic episodes in A Place of Love and War, where Yoongi learns all about True Love via Park Jimin, Music and Marriage. Sort of. Brain bleach and ear plugs are strongly recommended.

My Review:  An amazing story, well written and fantastic characters!  This story has humor, great dialog and plenty of action to keep you entertained—you’re gonna wish there was a sequel to this one, ngl!!!

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 09)   Title: Can't keep my hands to myself (no matter how hard I'm

trying to)

Ship: Taekook | Vkook

Author:  by sunshineandpixiedust

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/6020827

Summary:  

6:00 | tae hyung

What are you wearing?

or: Taehyung and Jeongguk starts to sext as a game. Jeongguk will not lose.

My Review: Here’s a cute Taekook story that starts off with some sexting—but don’t worry, there’s huge helping of Taekook smut! Spoiler alert...this is a bottom Jungkook (yassss!)

__________

 10)   Title: Resonance

Ship:  Taekook | Vkook

Author:  by rix

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/9538235

Summary:  Jungkook wonders if the fact that soul-focused battle techniques make people horny as hell is just something the professors politely ignore. Or maybe he's just weird.

My Review: This is a soul eater au so make sure you read the author’s notes if you’re not familiar with the au.  This story is lit—it’s got action, drama, romance and humor so enjoy it!

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 11)   Title: You're My Angel

Ship:  Sugakookie

Author:  by katesicle

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/11426052

Summary:  Jungkook's tattoos don't mean anything in particular, except how Yoongi gets when he's frustrated, and needs to do something with his hands, or when Yoongi wants to practice a new design style, or how Jungkook keeps Yoongi with him during long months apart from each other. Okay, so the tattoos mean something. Jungkook's just not sure what.

My Review: Three pages of feels!  This is quick read and it’s seriously an awesome little story.

__________

 12)   Title: all of your sides are good

Ship:  Vmin

Author:  by knth

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/5040898

Summary:  “I’m serious,” he whispers before slipping into slumber. “You have to do whatever I want. No ifs or buts about it.”  

It's Jimin's birthday and Taehyung has to do whatever he wants. (Or where Jimin doesn'tknow what he wants, is what Taehyung wants too.)

My Review:   Here’s a fantastic Vmin story for this month! This one has it all—heart and with the added benefit of smut between friends so it’s a definite winner for your summer love enjoyment!

__________

 13)   Title: kiss and cry

Ship:  Sugakookie | Yoonkook

Author:  by darling

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/8632942

Summary:   it makes sense, perhaps, that yoongi's music only sounds right in the hands of someone

who loves it just as much as he does.

My Review: Thanks to darling I fell in love with Sugakookie and I don’t think anyone writes this ship more justice! This is a Yuri On Ice-themed story with a f*ckton of feels and mental imagery from one of the best writers out there...in my opinion—so give it a go and see what you think!

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 14)   Title: Soulmate? No, Thanks.

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by Bookworming

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/5891656

Summary:  

Min Yoongi has been waiting to have his first colour dream since he was 17 because a dream in colour is the dream of your soulmate, whoever they are. In a world where all humans have only black and white dreams the only colour dreams one gets are those of their soulmate, if they have one. Soulmates get each other's dreams in colour and can speak to them through those dreams, a privilege Yoongi has coveted for a long time.  Yoongi has also coveted his best friend Kim Seokjin for a long time but unfortunately for

Yoongi, Seokjin's soulmate loves sleeping and occupies his mind in a way Yoongi never does.  

Park Jimin made the worst mistake of his life by getting drunk and driving himself home one day before his 17th birthday. When he wakes up, things have changed drastically, the biggest change being the sexy voice that interrupted his first pleasant dream in a LONG time.

My Review: This is a beautiful story that starts out sad but don’t worry, there’s a happy ending!!!  It’s a soulmate au where both Jimin and Yoongi are in love with their best friend—both of whom find love (and soulmate) in other people over the course of the story.  The plot will make you cry, roll your eyes and cringe from second-hand embarrassment (mostly Yoongi) but it’ll leave you smiling in the end...I promise!!!        

__________

 15)   Title: The Angel In You

Ship:  Jikook

Author:  by bangtansunyeondan

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/10476954

Summary:  “I’m his ex boyfriend who knows that you’re a piece of shit. If you ever speak to him like that again, i’ll fucking kill you.” The guy with chocolate brown hair spoke in a voice so low and threatening.  Jimin swallowed the lump in his throat. “We’re done, don’t try and contact me. I can’t stand your insults any longer. Goodbye.” Jimin walked off, feeling his face burn at all the

stares he was getting. ***

Jimin turned around, not realizing he was crying until the guy’s look softened and tried to wipe his tears away but Jimin pushed his hand away and sniffled. “Listen, thanks for defending me and all, but I don’t know who you are.”  The guy looked at him with a small frown. “I’m Jeon Jungkook, now you know me.”

or

very loosely based on ‘my current partner is a huge asshole and i need a reason to break up with them so will you pretend to be my possessive and violent ex’ au

My Review: Honestly, this story will leave you breathless from the feels!  Jungkook comes to Jimin’s rescue and he can’t help but fall in love with the younger boy. They decide to take things slow since Jimin just got out of an abusive relationship...but the chemistry between them makes this difficult.  There’s no smut but the makeout sessions are well written and get quite heated leaving the reader wanting more and although sexually frustrating...it’s a great read!!!

__________

 16)   Title: Hai Shi Shan Meng

Ship:  Taegi

Author:  by handintheshot

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/11079393

Summary:  Yoongi soon realizes that what people love the most about witch burnings is the noise. There’s something about the wails of terror and pain that really rile the crowd up, because yes they deserve to die so painfully and slowly. They deserve their own slice of Hell on this earth. Yoongi deserves this piece of Hell.  As roars of pain rip from Taehyung’s throat, something animal laces with his guttural noises. Everyone can hear it, Yoongi is sure. It’s neither demonic nor angelic, just primal, and it strikes as much fear in the crowd as it does anger. All it strikes in Yoongi is ache.  And soon he cannot see the charring skin of his love, cannot hear the cries that sound like they belong in the heart of the jungle.  As the fire grows with blinding light, he hears those words whispered and flooded into his brain.  We’ll meet again, my love.

-OR Three instances in where Yoongi holds Taehyung's life in his hand, and the only thing Taehyung can tell Yoongi is "We'll meet again, my love."

My Review: This Taegi story is an incredibly interesting love story.  We follow the couple’s love story through two historical episodes which they’re both forced to remember in their present day lives.  This is a very unique and intriguing concept with a touch of smut that gives it some grit.  I really enjoyed this story so I’ll be checking out the author’s other fics as well.    

 __________

As always, let me know if you’ve read any great stories or have a favorite author—I’m more than willing to read (most) BTS suggestions...so, send me the link and I’ll check it out!!!

See you all next month and you can reach me at any of the following sites!  

AO3:  http://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyPJMoon#posting

AFF:  http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/1282319

WP:  https://www.wattpad.com/user/LadyPJMoon

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[icharchivist]

Okay this got very long bc it’s a lot of trying to drive conclusion only for me, but under the cut a lot of ramblings about Gentaro’s use of pronoums after relistening to his main appearances in the drama tracks up to Me Against the World

TL;DR i’m starting to find some patern in Gentaro’s pronoum use:

-In general he tries to avoid using a pronoum by using “Sore” instead - “explains an object near the listener”. Generally trying to avoid talking about himself, this is what his sentences are generally shaping as.

-he uses Shousei everytime he refers to the reasons he is lying - his character song, talking specifically about his friend in context, and even once when he tries to justify to Ramuda that he is “a lowlife who’s always lying and therefore not trustworthy”. Shousei is the reason of his lies. There is ONE entry of “Shousei” that doesn’t fit the theory though and it is bothering me, there are ways to reach about it. He also uses “Shousei” everytime in a context of writting - since he started writting for his friend as an extension of his lies, this still holds up. He DOES use the plural form of Shousei in Battlex3 thoughwhen talking about the Posse, which is... interesting.

-He seems to use Boku when he’s caught in his lies. He also seems to use it as a more neutral identity, this is the one he seems to let slip when he’s not exactly thinking carefully about what he’s doing. It’s the one he settles on during his freakout as a mean to calm down. 

-He uses Watashi when he’s vulnerable. He uses it after Ramuda threatens him and once he tries to calm Dice down after Dice gets worked out for him, then when they prepare to fight Hifumi and Doppo. He used “Watashi” once to play the psychic though

-He used “Warewa” multiple times in the context of him as a team with Dice specifically - which is interesting since this is the first pronoum (as warewa) he switch to during his freak out. It is also the “warewa” they use as a team in SMT, refering to FP.

-I am completely unsure if he says “Ware” or “Waro” when he has the Princess/Dice’s soulmate persona - both works, “Ware” as a pronoum and “Waro” as the verb to know. I think it’s Waro, but still mentioning it because of the “ware(wa)” he uses during his freakout.

-He used “Maro” in the “old man wanting to feast with Dice” persona - this is the second persona he goes through during his identity crisis. 

-”Soregashi” is one of the only identity from his freak out i can find no trace of elsewhere and it is worrying me. 

-Meanwhile Gentaro used “Ore” once to have Ramuda take him seriously, asking him to judge his rap.  It is also the pronoum he uses for the Theif persona in Stella.  It seems to be his “rought around the edges” one, the one in which he orders people around. It’s very rare. 

So from what i’m getting his freakout still has him go through two personas he identifies with Dice, then he gets this one persona i find no trace of elsewhere, then “boku” that is the consistant background pronoum. Then “Watashi” which he always uses when he’s vulnerable. He would tend in general to try not to use his pronoums and use a forumlation in “sore” to avoid it, else he seems to use boku, except when he talks about writting/his reasons for lying where it’s Shousei, almost constantly. He used “Ore” twice, once to order Ramuda around out of playing any persona, and his Stella persona, and else use “warewa” when it comes to his teamup especially with Dice.

and yes I relistened to about 1 hour of content just to make sure I could catch them and i still am amazed to find a logic there. But frankly concerned by how much Gentaro distach himself from it. There are clear behaviors he associates with each pronoums so it’s kinda concerning to some extend.

That does put his freakout into perspective though.

Under the cut was my rambling as i was coming to conclusion so it’s a mess but it’s more detailled.

That fucks me up, i probably don’t know Japanese enough to understand it but i seriously feel like Gentaro uses “Sore” as a pronoum the most, but all i find about “Sore” is “それ (sore) explains an object near to the listener”.

So he could be generally always repurposing the sentence but this is still very odd that he is being this non-personal. like instead of saying “i am bothered” it would be “it bothers me” or something y’know? which shift the sentence away from his sense of self.

Even his “soregashi” is “ Literally "So-and-so", a nameless expression. Similar to sessha.”

what!! the fuck!! I know Gentaro has a distachement to his sense of self but that sounds super extreme?? It especially feel too extreme for people not to mention it this is why it’s bothering me??

He uses “Shousei” in Scenario Liar which means more  “ Used among academic colleagues. Lit. "your pupil"” according to wiki, but that would make sense for his “older self”, unless i mishear it??? ........ So fun fact when Ramuda meets him,  he first uses “Sore” when he’s lying about his identity (so distached). the moment Ramuda caught him in his lie, he switches to “Boku”. Then when he laughs that “Most words coming out of my mouth are lies you know?” he uses “Shousei”. 

When he meets again with Ramuda and asks him to judge his rap he uses “Ore” and this is a new pronoum what the hell. However in his rap, the moment he raps about his friend, he uses “Shousei” again. Why did he shift to Ore, perhaps to be more “ordering” Ramuda to take him seriously? it’s a more imposing pronoum after all. That’s the pronoums he uses as a theif in Stella so i’m willing to bet this is the “roughter arund the edges” persona. It doesn’t show much.

I am... almost certain “Shousei” refers to him in context of why he lies then. That would make sense. All of “Shousei” is always regarding the reason of his lies to start with, his friend. 

Oh this is fucking me up, in the second drama track when Gentaro says “What the heck do you want at this hour? I’m not that free, you know.” he uses “Shousei” again.  He doesn’t generally use Shousei so i’m assuming there it means he was planning on seeing his childhood friend holy hell. 

“The legendary group fallen from glory reunites out of pure coincidence…if this were a novel, it’d be an awesome scene, though I’d rather not encounter it in real life.” Shousei again, in the context of writting, knowing again he writes for his childhood friend, linked again for why he lies. 

Shit he uses Shousei @ Dice there “*sighs* I’m only going to buy your things.” and the only justification i find for that is that he might extend Dice to his world but?? gah this is putting my whole theory in jeopardy.

Else again when he talks about writting Dice into a book, “shousei” again.

Shouseitachi in Battlex3 though - “We’re living high on dopamine in the next era”, during his duet with Dice, second time it’s associated to Dice outside of the clear liar persona- unless he felt the need to get into said persona while fighting especially after Hifumi attacked him.

But i am almost certain he uses “sore” most of the time.... he does seem to use “Boku” in the second drama track when he really need to talk about himself, but else he seems to deviate the subject away from him with “sore”

Back to the freak out when Dice starts to worry about him: He shift to “Ware(wa)”, I am unsure if he uses “Ware” or “Waro” when he talks about the princess, the former being a pronoum the later being the verb “to know” which still fits. However he does use “warewa” when he mentions working as a team with Dice in Know your enemy and when he tells Dice to come with him in Me Against the World. It’s also the “warewa” they use as a team in SMT.

 then “Maro”, the old (noble?) man who wanted to share a meal with Dice, it’s also the one who mentions he “has forgotten” about them being treated as idol, he uses “maro” then again, then “Soregashi” “so and so”, back to being extremely not personal, from a Samurai’s period.

Then he shift to “Boku” which is more neutral. “ Used by males of all ages; very often used by boys. Perceived as humble, but can also carry an undertone of "feeling young" when used by males of older age (so i have no idea what it means for Gentaro who’s 24). Also used when casually giving deference; "servant" uses the same kanji (僕 shimobe). Can also be used as a second-person pronoun toward male children (English equivalent – "kid" or "squirt").”

-> Servant? He goes from pronoums associated to nobility to an humble pronoum associated with “giving deference”? Which is extremely bold since then i remind he will go on as picturing Dice as a King in later songs, a King he gets devoted to. 

Gentaro seems to use “Boku” when caught out of a lie... he does seem to use it casually sometimes but not that much. Which would really mean he’s always “living a lie” as long as he’s avoiding using “Boku”. It’s a very “normal” pronoum, perhaps a “neutral identity” for him? one he has set no personality onto? Which would mean the moment he settles for “Boku” to calm down he would be shutting down rather than settling for an identity. Seems perhaps like a “transitional” identity when he doesn’t know which identity to take up? 

The fact he uses it in the second drama track is what bothers my conclusion there but it’s also the track we once discussed with a friend where Gentaro starts to mimick Dice’s gambling habits a bit (and even leaps into the Nyan persona Dice usually has). So it doesn’t even contradict this possibility that it is “Gentaro looking for a persona”

Then once he tries to calm down Dice, it’s “Watashi”. Which is not a pronoum he seems to usually use. “In formal or polite contexts, this is gender neutral; in casual speech, it is typically only used by women. Use by men in casual context may be perceived as either stiff or feminine.”

I still see it used by male characters a lot so i don’t trust wikipedia there for the “only used by women” but it’s still definitly not the way Gentaro refers to himself so i’m super confused. 

This is the sentence he uses Watashi in “Dice. I do appreciate you standing up on my behalf, but it’s your turn to calm down, now.”

It’s a super vulnerable stance to go with “Watashi” there? Considering the context of the pronoum? far more polite than it should be.  Which, considering the context could be Gentaro allowing himself to be vulnerable and have a sense of self around Dice (since if he fucking use “sore” he sure doesn’t express his sense of self)

he keeps “Watashi” when they prepare to fight Hifumi and Doppo too.... He remains on Watashi.

... listening back to Know Your Enemy FPvM, Gentaro uses “Watashi” after Ramuda threatens him, “ As long as I can complete my mission, these things don’t matter.“. I’m betting on “Watashi is when he’s feeling vulnerable”

When he confronts Ramuda again about the incident, “Then it’s fine. I’ve no intention of waking the beast” he uses Boku again. Else he uses “Sore wa” again, especially when he replies to Ramuda “loving him”. Some sort of distance with his persona again...

He DID use “Watashi” once when he’s playing the psychic but that barely counts.

It’s opening a whole new realm of discussion about Gentaro’s sense of self and it is confusing me so much?

*bangs head on the table* thanks for the overthinking Gentaro.

[happynowidiot-blog-blog]

So, about that party.

Getting ready and getting everything cooked was a nightmare. First I burnt my hand on a cookie sheet so I was literally useless. Then Shahida did the exact same thing but her burn looked worse then mine. I’m jut a huge baby about pain. The three of us were all kind of stressing out but once everyone got there and the party started moving things got much better. Btw, this post became massive without me realizing it.

The Richmond lot arrived first and Myles got there a little bit after that. He had walked through the rain and was soaking wet when he walked in bearing a ridiculous amount of alcohol. He also managed to get lost on the way to the flat which is kind of ridiculous. I texted George asking if was coming and he said yes but he wouldn’t be there for another hour. As soon as I started to reply the buzzer sounded. We checked the little screen and it was George. I was so excited I could have died. Penny and I raced downstairs to let him in and hug him. God, he gives the best hugs. He gives Myles a run for his money in that department (and really it’s only Myles’s height that wins). We’re walking upstairs and he goes, “Jules will be here in a minute” and Penny and I both freak out and go, “Really?!?” and he smirks at us and says no. I probably told him to kill himself/fuck off/I hate him a thousand times last night. I wish that was a bad thing and not a sign of how much I’ve missed his wit.

This could literally be an entire post of George’s one liners from last night. I’ve literally never seen him so relaxed. Normally he puts up this facade like he’s too cool for everyone. He won’t laugh at jokes, he’ll raise his eyebrows instead. His hair will be perfectly gelled to look like he just rolled out of bed and he will under no circumstances ask questions or talk to people he doesn’t know. Last night he laughed out loud at alot of things and smiled quite a bit. I was able to call him out on being ridiculous and instead of pretending to pout he laughed and winked at me. He socialised quite a bit (even if I literally had to lead him over to a group of people and announce that he was now prepared to mingle) and had some intense looking conversations with people (which were mostly complete bullshit). He convinced this guy Lance that he wanted to be a commercial airline pilot. He grilled Myles on how exactly to get hired by Geek Squad. He attempted to convince Penny and I that Inception was based off of him and Jules. That was sort of beautiful. Shahida and I decided that he was definitely Eames without a doubt. He walked in smelling like cigarette smoke and Shahida asked him if he’d been smoking. George smiled and said, “No, there was a fire.” He is made of so much ridiculous.

I spent the whole night focusing on him. I was his private bartender for the night. It got to the point when he just pointed his empty cup at me and I’d be filling it before I even realised I’d stood up. Everything was going really well and I was not at all focused on Myles. Well, I guess I was a little bit. There was a point when he quoted Doctor Who and made a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference in one sentence and I almost died. Then George tried to tell me my eyes weren’t blue and I asked the nearest group of people what color my eyes were and Myles from ten feet away answers without looking at me, “Blue. Well, a bit turquoise-y sometimes.” It’s taking all my self-control to not read into that.

Anyways, it was all going very well until George leans in and goes, “So, I like Penny.” And I freeze for a second and then spend ten minutes trying to convince him it isn’t going to happen. I give excuses both real and fake but he’s having none of it. Apparently he likes the challenge she poses. He didn’t believe when I told him that she’s really quite easy (and she is for people who aren’t George). So I bolt at first chance and go and talk to Myles. He tells me to, “move on, babe.” I resisted the urge to hit him and went and sat on the stairs outside the flat. Well, I grabbed a shot of vodka and took it with me to sit on the stairs outside the flat. Penny joined me and we talked. I was upset and cried a little and just as I stop crying I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and it’s George. I mean, who else would it be? This is me we’re talking about here. He asked me if I was ok and I said yeah. He was going to buy more cigarettes (he literally had a single cigarette in his jacket and he needed my help to find his pockets. Yeah.) and so he walked down the stairs and stopped at the landing. He turned around and said, “You sure you’re ok?” I said yes again and Penny made up some bullshit excuse as to why I was upset. The off-liscence he was walking to was literally four minutes away but he found a minute to call me while he was walking there. I picked up and George goes, “You ok?” I told him yes, I was just drunk. He then says, “Ok…” and hung up. Jesus do I wish he would stop caring.

He eventually leaves and apparently was wasted. I was pretty trashed but the boy was gone. I made him do a shot with me earlier in the night and that apparently killed him. He’s always been a pussy about shots.  He also got kicked off the bus on the way home for taking too long to pay. I’m not entirely sure how I didn’t notice his intense state of intoxication. It probably has to do with my own alcohol level LOL. He did call me ten minutes after he left convinced he left his wallet at the flat. I told him to check the left inside pocket of his coat and he goes, “Oh. Ok.” and hangs up.

By this point, Myles and Coco were sleeping on the couch and recliner respectively and the party is down to stragglers. The vodka’s all gone so I’m drinking rum. I hate rum. Lance and I are arguing about Friends episodes and Shahida’s friend Daniel is trying to figure out why I took Latin in high school. I was so tired and Penny was falling asleep on the kitchen counter. The guys left and I threw blankets over Coco and Myles and passed out on Shahida’s bed.

For the record, hungover!Myles might be my favorite Myles. I like him better hungover then I do drunk. He literally loses the ability to speak English and communicates in mainly dinosaur noises. It also took him ten minutes to put his Oxford on because he kept giving up and letting it drape over his face. When he first woke up and said “Quite time now.” and then rolled over and went back to sleep. He then proceeded to moan anytime someone made a noise. I went to give an awake Coco the computer and noticed that I had to step over Myles’s shirts. Plural. I glance over and oh yes, that would be a shirtless Myles on the couch. That would a shirtless Myles wearing only jeans that show his hipbones. I sort of couldn’t handle it that early in the morning when I was so hungry I was still a little drunk because there was nothing in my stomach to absorb the alcohol.

All in all, it was a really fun party. Everyone seemed to have a really good time and besides that drama that likes to pop up around me I did as well. Even if I didn’t get to eat any of the food I made. Though, apparently everyone else enjoyed it. Myles got there and we were explaining our burns and he goes, “There were cookies?” It was adorable. Right up there with George playing with my bracelets (and talking about his newest skill:ironing) adorable.

Jesus do I need help with this boy. Amirite?