#anyway tumblr is the one place where i can brag about this bc in my adult life that's gotta be one of my biggest accomplishments

[jewbeloved]

Stan, kyle, kenny and craig w a gn reader whos an artist/painter who has tons of paintings/drawings of them and gets popular bc of their paintings/drawings

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Craig with an artist s/o🎨🖌️🖼️

YEESSSS THE SMALL GIFS AND PICTURES ARE FIXED LETS GOOOOOO!

Warnings: None

Gender: Neutral

💙 Stan Marsh 🐕

Oh he's definitely blushing, and I mean literally.

If you have a room or a secret gallery you keep all of your paintings in, half of the place would have been filled with paintings of Stan and when he sees those paintings, he absolutely gets butterflies in his stomach.

"Ah....(Name)......", He has no words 🥺

His friends would probably also tease him because half of your paintings you made are about him besides your other ones.

Stan really loves the paintings you made of him and he might keep one of them in his room (If you let him)

But he would probably blush every single time he looks at the painting though.

You would also probably sell your paintings to people, but you ain't selling the ones you made of Stan. Those are yours to keep and nobody else can have them except you or Stan :) 💙💙💙💙💙

💚 Kyle Broflovski 💐

Not Kyle just admiring your paintings while you're not looking. He tryna be sneaky but you caught him :>

Kyle would find it a bit strange that most of your paintings are about him, but he isn't complaining. Who wouldn't want to see an art portrait of themselves that was made by their s/o?

You even have some paintings where Kyle doesn't have his hat on. Gotta be honest, if you were planning to sell your paintings Kyle probably wouldn't like you selling the ones that have him without his hat on, you know how insecure he gets about his hair.

But it is YOUR paintings after all and you get to decide what to do with them so Kyle can't stop you on that. But it would make him a bit happy if you didn't sell the ones where his hat isn't on his head.

If your paintings got even more popular, how many cheesy poofs do you wanna bet that Cartman is gonna make fun of you? I'm betting 1000.

He'll probably tell you that you're obsessed with Kyle or he's like your pet or something.

Cartman got paint splattered in his face for that anyways. 💚💚💚💚💚💚

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🐁

Kenny is definitely going to tease you. Not in a bad way of course.

He thinks it's extremely cute that you like making paintings of him! If he could, he would probably keep like 3 or 4 of your paintings in his room.

But he probably might hide the paintings from his parents just in case they tried to sell your hard work and make money off of it. It's your paintings, not theirs so they don't have the right to sell it.

He will let Karen see the paintings though, and she absolutely loves the paintings of her big brother! She probably might even ask if you could do one of her as well!

If your paintings get popular but somebody teases you for it, they're getting the same fate as Cartman. Nobody makes fun of Kenny's s/o and gets away with it =) 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

💙 Craig Tucker 🐹

He would probably blush a little when he sees all of the paintings you made of him. (He definitely didn't try to pull you into a big hug afterwards-)

His friends would probably be jealous of him if you show off your paintings of Craig to everyone in class.

Craig wouldn't brag about it, but he might slip in some giggles here and there.

Gotta say, if you make a painting of you and him cuddling together. That's definitely going to make his face as red like a tomato, unexpected paintings like that is one of the ways to get Craig in a flustered mess.

Not like he never blushed a lot around you :>

He keeps an expressionless face on the outside but he's secretly burning up on the inside. It also isn't hard to see behind that little blush of his as well if you know him too well.💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛

Tumblr: Blaze is now out!

Me: Immediately going to turn it off as soon as I update my app.

[grimeybones]

Weekly Rotation

Gonna post what I’m listening too every week bc I like music and why not share it with 5 people

🕸️ Johan Von Bronx by The Voidz

My boyfriend introduced me to this band and now I think I like them more than him, probably why our relationship is so strong bc we both have the same taste in music (not-so-humble-brag).. Julian Casablancas deep voice turns me on and makes me question if I wanna be him or fuck him, I say this after just stating I love my boyfriend but he feels the same, we would both fight for jules love. Anyway enough hypotheticals and onto the music review. This song is 100% going to be my most listened to track this year. It is deliciously evil in its booming bass and erratic guitar. It has such a deep, dark, sick and twisted sound but in a way that makes you feel like the villain. Every time I listen to this song my mind goes to a different version of myself, one where I can harm everyone who I did wrong and get away with it. A real “good for her” ark. This song is for you if you’re deeply angry inside, love alt goth music and just wanna listen to something fresh

🕸️ Pacific Telephone by Papooz

So this one’s a different turn from the last song. This is a funky, French European post pop track that has a slightly more tame femme fatale feel. The lyrics discribe a women envying another women called Lucille, as the song advances this envy turns to violence and she ends up choking Lucille out on a beach (not a bad way to go out tbh). It has a retro feel but it puts a new spin on it which you get from a lot of French pop music. The bass, synths and guitar create a great feel and the accented vocals only adds to the cherry on top of this very bad ass track.

🕸️ Tahiti Hungry Jungle by Dumbo Gets Mad

This is once again another European song but we’re heading over to Italy for this amazing duo. The whole “Quantum Leap” album is great i always play it when I don’t know what to put on. This song was actually sampled by Azealia Banks of all people, this track is very different than her 212 song though. It feels like you’re in a psychedelic jungle and nothing feels real, it’s memorising and whenever I put it on while I’m walking I instantly get a complex going, it’s just a cool song really just give it a listen.

🕸️ The Modern Age by The Strokes

I’m pissed they won’t show the first album cover here (it’s an ass) but another Julian Casablancas song. This track holds a special place in my heart bc every time I listen to it I think of my closest mates, every Wednesday we go and drink together and it has to be my favourite part of the week as it’s basically group therapy ( @st-rx read this n cry). It’s such a nice nostalgic track, just classic pub rock and if you haven’t listen to the “is this it” album yet just listen. I am shocked The Strokes didn’t get clumped in with the 2014 tumblr crowd.

🕸️ After Hours by The Velvet Underground

This song is just a classic, always put it on when I wanna gush about my partner. Even if you don’t have a partner is a nice song, the fact it was made in 69” and not 2010 by an indie gal is surprising. It’s just a nice acoustic song what more to say.

🕸️Rock ´n’ Roll Suicide by David Bowie

I hadn’t heard this song till I saw the recent Bowie documentary (even if you’re not a fan of Bowie you will be if you watch this movie it’s so good) it’s the song I put on when I’m feeling like a doomer bc I wanna be an ArTiSt and it’s not taking off well. So I listen to this song often. Makes me feel less alone with my dropkick choices, just the line “your too old lose it, too young to choose it” uh gets me every fucking time. If you’re an artist just the thought of abandoning what you love just hurts and the older I get the more that fear increases. I’m literally 20 so I should shut up. Anyway enough of the tangent if you want a gateway bowie track listen to this.

🕸️Take Me in Your Army by The Voidz

Oh wow another jules song we get it. Ok last track. this song has similar energy as Johan Von Bronx but it’s a bit more subtle and more electronic, it is still dark in tone and it has a great haunting feel to it. The track is about how jules was not every content with how fast he rose to fame. The lyric “I was not ready for the podium yet, just the stage” sums that feeling up well. He of coursed love playing in the strokes but the fact that their record label and the media put so much pressure on them to make new music was fucked. The Voidz exists as a way for him and the other members to express issues and make music that they wouldn’t have otherwise been able to make back in the day. It’s so corny to say this but I genuinely believe they are the future of music and one of the last bands that is capable of making unique music AND make political statements without playing it “safe”. I could go on forever about this band and I might write an essay only to hope and pray that jules reads and critiques it.

That’s it listen to the songs if u like, tell me what you think, or if you have any songs you’d want to recommend to me commet or DM!!

[sureuncertainty]

i just did the grossest thing i have literally ever done and that is saying a LOT considering I worked custodial at disney world for several months

[bakapandy]

How do you feel about the rivalry/relationship (?) between Gaara and Lee? I feel like Lee’s fight with him started him down the narrative line that ended with naruto finally being able to reach him. I have a huge soft spot for Lee so I’m biased but I was SO hoping for some kind of interesting continuation on that between Metal and Shinki. (I actually started watching Boruto just to see Shinki and Gaara because of your tumblr— full disclosure, I skipped right ahead to the Chunin exams because I give zero fucks about Naruto’s punk-ass kid lol). Anyway, I like Gaara and Lee I feel like they’re great foils for each other and I like to imagine that Gaara has a lot of respect for Lee and vice versa (once he becomes a better, less murder-y person). I’m curious about your thoughts on their characters and if you have any headcanons about them. (I feel like Shinki and Metal are a lost cause, he got completely dismissed by Shinki in the exams. I don’t think Shinki has any respect for him at all, and I don’t see that improving.but if you have any thoughts on them I’m curious about that too!)

I’m a HUGE proponent of Gaara and Lee being good friends. And I believe you’re right, Gaara was first affected by Rock Lee’s relationship with Gai. Their unwavering and unequivocal dedication and love for each other was a concept Gaara did not understand but knew he yearned for. Gaara, I think, was capable of being changed and convinced BECAUSE he witnessed PROOF of the strength of love through Lee and Naruto.

long ass reply so I put the rest under the cut

Not only that, but Lee’s heart is so big and so strong that he didn’t hold a grudge against Gaara for what he did, even if it nearly ended his career as a shinobi. You can tell Gaara was affected when Lee tells him this while they face-off Kimimaro.  

Gaara canonically respects Lee a great deal. He explicitly references Lee when he grants Shira the right to become a ninja and to participate in the chunin exams. And it goes without saying that Lee respects Gaara, it’s shown and stated quite often throughout the series haha. (also their shenanigans at the end of shippuden around Naruto’s wedding was amusing and shown they’ve become much closer and casual in their friendship haha though I guess some people would debate whether that’s canon)

It’s a pity that we didn’t get a scene of Gaara more explicitly apologizing to Lee, bc as the person he becomes, it’s something he would do. I know there is a scene in one of the Ninja Storm Games where Gaara does try to (though it’s thwarted by Lee’s shenanigans if I recall correctly haha). But basically, yeah I think they’re good friends. Maybe not as close as Naruto and Gaara, but Gaara still thinks of him as someone important. 

As for Metal and Shinki, did I really expect them to give them good writing? Not really lol. It’s really cute that Metal is a big fan of Gaara as the Kazekage, and I’d like to believe that is born from Lee simply holding Gaara in high regard. But Lee is very humble, I doubt he would do or say anything of the sort like “Oh I fought the Kazekage during our Chunin exam and battered him quite a bit” and I kind of feel like he would just keep that memory to himself out of respect for Gaara because he knows Gaara was in a different place back then. I also doubt he would brag that he knows the Kazekage well either because that’s just how he is. So that’s why I kind of imagine that Metal simply doesn’t know very much about his father’s connection to the Kazekage. 

For Shinki, lmao, my headcanon is that he’s pretty knowledgeable about the Konoha ninja. Of course, he knows about Naruto and Boruto, but without a doubt, Gaara has told him about Lee as well. And with my headcanon of Shira also training Shinki at some point, Shira has absolutely told him about them too. So that’s kind of why I think Shinki took the initiative to take on Metal and his team on his own. Because at this point, Shinki is still in that mindset of wanting to prove himself. The anime implied that Metal had the potential to give Shinki a hard time skill-wise, but Shinki simply outsmarted him in that battle because of the rules of the exam. But who’s the stay they won’t have a rematch?

[marunalu]

Regarding that message you left at stupiidcupud's post: As a minor who has been groomed and sexually abused in the past let me tell you, you are a fucking moron. Fuck you. You should be embarrassed for supporting pedophilia, even if it is fictional.

And you should be embarrassed for bulling real people on the internet bc over a stupid fictional ship and supporting suicide baiting them! Im sorry something like that happed to you, Im really am, but I wont allow people who dont know me to call me a pedophil, espicially bc Im also a victim of sexuell abuse as a 14-16 year old teenager. You are not even brave enough and show your true blog name instead you go anonym! I tell you something now so listen carefully: there is NO sessrin shipper who ships sess with a child rin. People ship sess with an ADULT rin. And thats what the show gave us: rin as an adult! The timeline of the show confirms that rin was at least 17 years old when she got the twins, SAME age as sango when she gave birth to her girls but no one of you bats an eye bc of that. Meanwhile rumiko confirmed sess is 19 in human age. Inuyasha is a japanese fairytale in feudal japan and things back then were different. Back then you were an adult as soon as you got your period. So and now I want you to show me WHERE AND WHEN sesshoumaru ever acted like a pedophil or child groomer in the anime/manga! Show me the EXACT manga page/episode in which he thinks “I want to fuck her“ or “hmm lets wait till she is old enough to bang her“ SHOW ME! If you can show me I will apologize. But I tell you something: you cant! Bc he never saw her in an sexuell or romantic way! Never! He fell in love with her when she was old enough to make HER OWN decisions! Like he always allowed to! “Rin!“ “Yes?“ “Do what you want!“ “Yes!“

Again sessrin shippers ship ADULT rin with sess and its their fucking right to ship whatever they want, bc you know what? ITS A FUCKING ANIME! TWO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS CREATED FROM A BUNCH OF DRAWN LINES! And out there are asshole antis who didnt got their sess/kagu ship, who tell sessrin shippers, REAL PEOPLE, to KILL themself! Including children and teenagers like my 11 year old cousin who ships sessrin! Im sorry but you people who think like that and tell other people to kill themself are a pile of dogshit! You brag about just wanting to protect poor rin (not a real person) from her predator, but you GIVE A SHIT about real people including real children bc otherwise you guys wouldnt say “I wish all sessrin shippers to die“ This is disgusting as fuck! Sessrin shippers are real people! With familys, friends and a life! And you guys are here insulting us, suicide forcing us and shaming us over shipping a bunch of lines!

There is a very easy solution for every anti sessrin shipper out there: dont like what you see? It makes you uncomfortable? It givesyou bad memories? Fine drop the show and try to find something that brings you happiness and joy, espicially not a show that takes place in feudal japan or has romantic relationships with long age gasps, if things like that triggers you! If you cant stomach that japans culture is different then yours (whereever you live) then maybe you should stay away from anything that is related to anime/manga bc honestly japanese people give a fuck about you and your feelings. Dont like it? Dont watch it! They LOVE storys about immortal beings falling in love with mortal beings.They love storys with long age gasps relationships! Respect their culture difference or leave! Stop watching yashahime and watch something different if you cant stomach it and leave other people, you dont know and just want to enjoy the show in peace and stop being a toxic asshole (antis in generell) and insult people, calling them horrible names and tell them to kill themself. If you still do, at least stop lying and say you care for children bc you clearly dont. If you would care, you would consider that there are also children who ship sessrin and you guys just told this REAL children TO KILL THEMSELF! And if you would care for real children, you would stop wasting your time here on tumblr bitching about something that is fictional and instead try to protect real children out there from pedophils and groomers!

Again Im sorry what happened to you and I dont wish something like that to anyone. I was sexuell abused to but the difference between us is that I can difference between fiction and real life.

You dont need to answer me I wont read it anyway bc the only thing you most likely will repeat is calling me “pedophile“ “child groomer“ and “fuck you“ and I heard that already. I made my point clear! People who tell other people to kill themself because of a fictional ship including children and teenagers, are disgusting human trash! I hope I made myself clear! Fell free to block me if you dont like what I say, I will ignore any attempts from you trying to contact me! Bye!

[introtae]

check in tag 💗

tagged by @butterjiminie and @gimbapchefs​ !! thank you guys ily 🥰

1. Why did you choose your url?

is it bad that i don’t really remember?? i think lainey helped me brainstorm it since she was my only bts friend going into making this blog but it just kind of.... happened into existence

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

yes! i have one (1) side blog that i use to test different themes/icons etc bc i’m indecisive and don’t like messing with this blog unless i know beforehand whether i’ll like the change or not. anyways the url is @softlytae​ you can look if u want but you wont find anything of value there LOL

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

i’ve been on tumblr itself since 2018 but i made this blog & started creating gifs in december 2020! 

4. Do you have a queue tag?

#q 😌

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

my old blog used to be a marvel blog (which is where i met lainey lol) but i slowly switched over to kpop and then decided to make a new blog when i realized i wanted to delve into gifmaking! :)

6. Why did you choose your icon?

saw kim seokjin and had a mental breakdown

7. Why did you choose your header?

KIM TAEHYUNG 😭 what other explanation do i NEED

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

i think it’s this one??? it used to be a jungkook set for a few months but buff namjoon really came out of nowhere and swept that title away from him in a few days

9. How many mutuals do you have?

i think like 45 

10. How many followers do you have?

oh ho ho we want the juicy stuff i see 😏i have an amount i am satisfied with :) 

11. How many people do you follow?

89!

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

yes my entire blog is one big shitpost at this point

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

i log on a few times throughout the day to check in! 

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

nah i steer clear of drama. no thank you <3

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

it depends on the post i think? everyone is entitled to making their blog their own safe space so i don’t really know how to feel about them

16. Do you like tag games?

yesssss please tag me in anything and everything fun!! sometimes i forget to actually do them myself but i love being included in them and i try to respond to all the games i’m tagged in 🥰

17. Do you like ask games?

yeah they’re fun! i really like the ones where i get to brag abt how talented my mutuals are 😌

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

well @ppersonna is about 186 years old now so i’d say she probably has accumulated a good amount of followers by this point

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

all of them. they’re all amazing and i love them 🥺💗

tagging: @ughseoks @ppersonna @kithtaehyung @jiminswn @k-hongjoong @wonsang @taemaknae @balenciaguks @eternal-bangtan and anyone else who wants to do thissss <3

[ayzashl]

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack (i think)

Also um, im new to these so sorry for possible gramatical errors or typos (i dont double check bc I literally was bored doing this and just, decided to share it on tumblr lmao)

Disclaimer, I made this out of boredom because I was thinking about exams and stuff and was wondering about how my husbando would react about my situation, having placed on high ranks barely putting efforts towards studying lmao (Not rlly bragging im sorry if it came out as bragging :((, i jusy rlly be curious and hopefully I portrayed it like how I expected for him to react, sorry im new to writing bc I mainly draw🌚👉👈)

***

It was already sunset. The hues of yellow, orange and red envelops the dorms of U.A high school, its gradient tinting the windows of the students occupying the rooms shine bright, displaying its vibrant colors on the inside of each dorms facing the sunset.

You, who were sitting on your knees, switching positions time to time, searching for a particular pose to get comfortable while drawing on your boyfriend's kotatsu in his dorm, door leading into the balcony open, making the cold breeze of late October allow itself to enter the room.

Autumn has already arrived, and that also means midterm exams. It had just finished today. After a almost whole month of preparing for the exams, and the 3 days of taking it, the students of 1-A was relieved and relaxing in their rooms as the days of hardhips were finally over, plus its a Friday so the students were scattered on each others dorms due to the upcoming weekend.

You were taking a sip of your juicebox, almost emptying it now out of frustration for having a hard time drawing a hand. In your opinion, the struggle was equal or actually a lot harder than your midterms. Art frustrates you a lot and your boyfriend wonders why you still do it, yet never really ask you since he can also tell you're really passionate about it than your other hobbies.

He was sitting on his futon, leaning againts the wall as he stare at your back figure, watching you scribble something on your sketchpad and aggressively erasing it afterwards, making the papers crumble into the direction on where you rub it, making you groan in annoyance even more.

As he observes your actions, a thought runs up his mind, asking himself the same particular questions over and over again.

"Why?"

He asks himself. Why were you putting most of your effort into this drawing? Why were you more irritated in this than the midterm exams?

"Just..... why?"

Shoto had noticed you since the start of your so-called-library-dates, although its mostly just you accompanying him to gather resources for the upcoming exams while you just scan your notes or draw, or read a completely different book whose topic is not related to your exams.

Its always been like that everyday, he never really saw you offer a lot of your energy in terms of studying, like most of the students does, as he noticed the library being almost full as soon as October started.

He saw you scan your notes time to time, yes. But full on concentration on studies? no, never seen you. The most of what he saw were you fixate immensely on your math notebook before exams started, and that was it.

The exams ended abruptly on the second day but there was extra curricular on the Hero's Course on the third day before their final grade were posted. And yes, both of you did well. After the announcement, Shoto (and you) were shocked to find out that you were in 6th place and he placed in 5th. You both exchanged congratulations, you mostly squealing out of joy to actually achieve this particular rank.

Shoto on the other hand was, doubting?. Of course he feels happy for you, but at the back of his mind, he was a little agitated. You both got the exam results at the end of the third day and to his surprise (and also yours, but internally) your scores were high, almost having the amount of same mistakes as him, except your math which you devastatingly, almost failed (lmao), which merely affected your overall result since your scores were high anyways.

Your boyfriend wasnt the type to get irritated over these things, heck yeah he feels ecstatic over your accomplishment, signal the kiss he gave you on your forehead plus the soft look he gave you with a slight smile displayed on his face. But there was a faint thought of doubt running through the back of his head, how did you get such results when you were barely even studying? There was no way you would cheat right? He didnt want to accept it, he didnt want to doubt you, but it was the one of the highest possibilities that was mostly that likely happened, as he could think of right now.

He couldnt let go of this thought unless he confronts you about it right now, so he decided to ask you, waiting for a few moments, observing you, waiting for you to calm down a little from your work.

"Y/n...."

"Hmm?" you hum, not turning yout back at him, eyes and most of your attention fixated on the paper.

"How did you manage to get a high rank even though I barely saw you studying?" he finally asks, hoping you wont get offended by it, but this thought had been bothering him a little, and he wouldnt be satisfied until he gets his answer, as the stubborn man that he is.

"Are you doubting me?" you say in an offended tone, although you meant it sarcastically, turning your back, giving Shoto your full attention now as you crawl towards him, pencil dropping in the background as you make your way towards your boyfriend, offering him to lay down as you pat his futon. He complies so, already knowing you wanted to cuddle whenever you do that certain action.

You cuddle next to him, facing him as you give him a smile to reassure him that you werent offended by him back then. "Did you notice that in class, I always, almost bury my head on my notebook, writing on it almost 24/7 whenever lecture starts?" you ask him, as you start to fidget his hair on the sides which you and him really enjoy, making its way up to his bangs, and back and fort.

"You were.... writing?" Shoto asks, raising an eyebrow with the same stoic face who seemed not to show a lot of emotions, a little dumbfounded. "I thought you were doodling". You burst out in laughter from the small misunderstanding of your boyfriend.

"Of course I was. You see, whatever the teacher blurts about that sounds important to me, I write it down because, you know, its usually what appears in exams" you explain to him, closing your eyes time to time as if you were a philosopher, passionately explaining your beliefs, only with an added self-sense of humor. As he was on the other had was, fascinated.

I mean, who knew?

"Also just to clarify things, I do put some extra effort on, some of my studies"

"By some you mean just the science topic you reported you keep rereading everyday"

"......yes"

Shoto lighlty chuckles as he moves your head to his chest, placing an arm on your head, planting a kiss on your forehead, as a sign of affection like he always does. He feels a little guilty, assuming you were cheating but in the end, you were just and always has been the genius that you were. Heck if you actually put a lot of effort in your study, you might actually come out at the top in the class, but he's aware you have other things to focus and worry about as his eyes gaze at the table with a slightly crumpled juice box standing out.

"Were you mad?" you ask, out of curiousity. You had assumed he was maybe upset about the results because he gets a little too competitive or has the sentiment that he has to prove that he only isnt good with his powers, but in academics as well, considering his situation.

He lightly shook his head as he fully encloses you to his grasp, leg placed on your sides, locking you in as he settles his face on your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your lavender shampoo in which he always adores.

You on the other hand, was relieved now that the matter was somehow resolved? Putting those thoughts at the back of your head, your perception of relief was shortly replaced by a wave of worry as you lightly chuckle of uneasiness.

"Shoto?" you tap his sides, body tightly secured onto his. This was the one that made worry. His hands tightly clutching you, but not too much, leg on your sides, locking you in so that you wont get away easily, to him it made him feel happy, knowing that you werent going away and draw for a while. You've had situations like these already and all you ever do is give up and shower him with affection, already knowing he was slightly, probably getting a little touch starved, craving for your attention and affection. But in your situation right now, it was, unpleasant, so to say.

Not after you just finished your juicebox.

-Disclaimer, uh, I made this from

He hums in response, head tilted a little more into your head's direction. He was sure you would have given up already, knowing that he will never let you go.

"I need to pee"

"..."

"Shoto..."

"........"

"Sho"

"All I can say is good luck getting out"

"......"

"Noooooooohohohoooo!!!" you exclaim, with a sarcastic crying in your tone. This was gonna be one hell of a struggle.

.

Im bad at explaining things, hope you did enjoy reading this as much as I did though :))

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 

[into-control]

submission:

I barely know anything about kaylor and have only read about them on your blog, but I had this crazy camren/kaylor dream this morning lol. I'm disappointed though bc I can't remember some parts 😕. But anyway, these are the only parts I remember, but there was more that I've forgotten:

     They did this reveal where they showed like an outline of the person who was going to be playing the role of the prince in cinderella, and all you could see was that they were tall with blonde hair. So, everyone was saying that it was Ansel Elgort for some reason. (I don't think he even has blonde hair irl, but he did in my dream lol)

     But then it was revealed that it was actually Karlie who was playing the prince! And I remember thinking, "Wow, into is gonna freak out." I was just so hyped that they'd cast a female love interest for Camila, and I couldn't believe it.

     I was really curious about how the shoemila shippers were reacting, so I went on Twitter, and to my surprise, they were actually fine with it. I thought they'd be angry and complaining, but they were actually happy and talking about how cute it was that, according to them, Camila probably specifically requested a female Prince Charming just so that Shawn wouldn't be jealous of her co-star. And they were also bragging about the fact that they think camren shippers will probably be mad since Karlie looks nothing like Lauren.

     Then, there was this surprise announcement that the movie was dropping THE NEXT DAY. And I was thinking, "What the fuck, when did they even have time to film it?" I tried to book tickets for it, but all the tickets had sold out.

     So, I missed the actual movie and didn't get to watch it. But I saw some clips on Instagram after the movie had been released, and Karlie had cut her hair shorter for the movie. It was just past her jaw. Karlie was wearing this white suit, and Camila was wearing this big, puffy, pink dress. (It was so ugly 💀)

     I remember that I kept wanting to check Tumblr so that I could see what people's reactions to Karlie's casting and the movie were, but every time I tried to open the Tumblr website, it kept sending me to a pizza delivery website instead. So, I was getting frustrated, and I called up the pizza delivery number, and I was gonna ask them why they had stolen Tumblr (it made sense in my dream), but the girl who picked up the phone had a really familiar voice.

     I asked who it was, and she's like, "It's Natalie", and I panicked and hung up the phone. I don't even know anyone called Natalie in real life, but in my dream, I apparently had this huge crush on this girl.

     So, I gave up on trying to go on Tumblr. And instead I was like, "I'm gonna go to the Tumblr house". So, I got my brother to drive me there. (He's only 9, but he could drive in my dream lol)

     When I got into the Tumblr house, I saw Karlie and Camila there at the front of the room, and the place was so crowded. Karlie was standing on top of this long table, and she had Camila standing on her shoulders, and I think Camila was drunk because she was acting really weirdly. She kept trying to jump up to touch the ceiling (it was a really, really high ceiling), and Karlie was holding onto her feet to try to get her to stop. And then she was like, "Can I stand on your head, Karlie?!" in this really loud, weird tone of voice. It's that tone of voice she puts on when she's being goofy lol. And Karlie was like, "No because Taylor will be mad".

     And Camila was like, "Why? Let me stand on your head, Karlie! I want to touch the ceiling!"

     But Karlie was like, "Taylor likes my hair, so you can't."

     And they started saying some other stuff, but I can't remember it now. And then Karlie's legs suddenly started growing upwards, so she had these really, really long, freaky-looking legs.

      And then Camila was freaking out like, "Karlie, let me down, let me down, let me down!", and the people in the room were all shouting at Karlie to let Camila down because apparently, dream Camila was terrified of heights.

     For some reason, Adam Sandler was next to me, so I asked him why everyone was freaking out so much, and he was like, "Because when Camila gets high, bad things happen". I was like, "What do you mean?" And he started talking in some other kind of language, but he looked worried and was making all of these hand gestures.

     Karlie said something like, "Don't worry, guys, Camila's my BEST friend! I won't drop her, I promise!"

     But her legs were still growing, and she was wobbling, and Camila was like sobbing and wiping her tears with strands of Karlie's hair.

     And then Trump appears, and I was really pissed off. I wanted to push him over or something, so I was trying to get through the crowd of people to him, and then he made this loud announcement. I can't remember what he said, but it was an announcement like they do on stage at the end of an act in the theatre.

     And then I realised that the whole scene that had just taken place was actually part of the cinderella movie, and I was like, "Ohh, that makes so much sense".

     Anyway, I can barely remember anything after that. I vaguely remember Justin Bieber being in my dream at one point, and Karlie's gay PR husband showed up at one point too. I think he played a role in the movie, but I can't remember which one lol.

     But I was so disappointed when I woke up because I was really looking forward to watching the movie with Camila and Karlie in, and I never got a chance to 😔

————

GOD THERE IS SOOOOO MUCH HAPPENING IN THIS DREAM IM SHRIEKING. first of all i’m honoured that dream you thought of me at the discovery of karlie and camila interacting lskdkdsk second of all TUMBLR HOUSE??? KARLIE WOULDN’T LET CAMILA STAND ON HER HEAD BECAUSE TAYLOR WOULDN’T LIKE IT?????

[svtskneecaps]

Hphm was supposed to be my way of like living out my Harry Potter years but it’s so boring and the storyline is really bland. Honestly there’s a similar HPHM game that jam city only released in China which looks so much better. I think you can actually interact with other people and there’s more free reign. It also takes place from when McGonagall becomes headmistress so it might be a different with professors and what not. I hate having the same convo with the same person (talbott) 3x a day!

“ I want HPHM to work on the storyline, continuity errors and make it more free play friendly. I also hate how repitive dialogue options are and quests never really impact you in the main story, like can’t I brag about my animagus form or the fact that I babysat Draco! It’s honestly like everyone but me was obliviated after the quest ended! Honestly I get Fly Solo is like our inside joke but must mc really say it so often! Plus my animals like never show up. I want to show them off!!! “

“ Honestly I think you probably could write better individual storylines! There’s like literally no continuity in the story. Things just don’t make sense sometimes! Like how am I on andres team for quidditch when I’m supposed to become seeker later! Why do I have to keep switching quidditch positions! Why can’t I have my friends (not just penny) cheer me up for matches like Ron and Harry. I also really want roommates in my dorm like show me their beds too! We should have a roommate hangout option! “

sorry lmao it got kind of long bc i’m a big dumb fool

honestly it’s so frustrating that jam city didn’t think most of their plot points through. like it’s really obvious that they’re writing things as they go. i don’t really mind discovery writing all that much; it’s how i write most of my stuff and it’s how the current story i’m posting is going right now (which is why i’m usually late to update; i have no idea where i’m going aside from a slight vibe)

but i’m writing some bullshit fluffy romancey crack fic for like, 35 people on tumblr, so it works for me. these are people making a HARRY POTTER GAME, so they don’t get that kind of slack

it’s weird that they force you to switch quidditch positions instead of, i don’t know, letting you PICK which position you wanted and giving you questlines related to it (and then maybe, letting you pick another position later if you got bored of it). i honestly was so unenthused with quidditch that i’m not even at the tryouts yet. i only started now because i want to get like, exp or something, for that month long thing like i’m not invested in the questline at all. the additional characters in the quidditch quest just bloat the game even farther and they don’t even develop the characters they already have

and OH MY GOD, EVERY TIME MC BRINGS UP “””FLY SOLO””” MY CHEST SHRIVELS. like it’s not funny, at least not the way they play it, and it drives me crazy. a good author might be able to play that as a flirty inside joke, but apparently the (likely underpaid) writers for this game just don’t bother (i want to give them the benefit of the doubt; i don’t want to call them terrible writers and say they can’t write good dialogue because listen, i’m a fan fiction author i’m not exactly shakespeare and i don’t even know any of their names, i don’t get to throw that stone. idk if they can’t or don’t but either way, it’s just not good writing)

the grinding is just killer. the grinding is KILLER. the grinding is the worst damn part of the whole thing and i hate it so much.

like damn bro maybe once i’ve played the game up to its current point i’ll release a set of general bulleted outlines for how they could play each of the four main storylines for the houses, like plot points and events and such, if i can think of things. like i said, i’m only in year four and if things keep taking this much damn time it might take me a couple months at least to get all the way up to the latest release

i don’t really have the time or the energy or the staying power to write each of them out in full, but bulleted outlines would be manageable so uh

we’ll see? i guess?

anyway it’s probably best to think of the side quests as totally separate from the main canon except OH WAIT, DOESN’T TALBOTT SHOW UP IN THE MAIN CANON?? I’M PRETTY SURE I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, MAKE UP YOUR MIND, JAM CITY, WHICH FUCKIN PARTS ARE YOU GOING TO HOLD ONTO

anyway shameless self promotion, this pissed me off even all the way back in december when i first started playing, so i started making a rewrite of my own to hopefully keep continuity and make things believable (which is why i was screen recording everything; i wanted to know everything that happened and all the lines of dialogue because there was one segment after the duel where flitwick said something in response to my choice that i loved and i was never able to find what he said, so i started recording the plot moments to look back on later).

but then i stopped, because the tulip continuity error happened and i was left in the same position as jam city, because i hadn’t name dropped her either so i either had to come up with a reason for her to have never appeared prior, or i had to rewrite the beginning chapters

so i was like, oh, i’ll wait on finishing that one until i actually know everything that’s coming so i don’t run into this problem again

anyway, that’s up on ao3 and you can find it here if you’d like to read it. idk how well it holds up for general audiences, since it was mostly just a cathartic fic for while i was waiting the hours and hours for my energy to recharge. the beginning’s a bit sloppy tbh bc it was just a series of semi-connected scenes before i really found my groove, but they’re still sort of fun. in the span of a single scene i think i developed the characters and their interactions more than jam city has in the four years of gameplay i’ve made it through so far, so hey. jam city, hire me.

maybe i’ll even release the rest of the chapters i wrote (because i have more). who knows

sorry i wrote a whole essay anon uhhh i have a lot of words and feelings i guess. that’s my bad. this is honestly my passion though so seeing wasted potential gets my gears turning and i just gotta word vomit sometimes

thank you so much for talking with me about it uwu i love you

[survivoratomic-acadia]

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.  

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao                                                                                                 xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST. 

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except  luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely                                 Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W                                  Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel?  think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself.  I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason                                                                                  xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos)                                                                                     xoxo, gossip girl      P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it.  "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much.  We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon 

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool 

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!! 

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!! 

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH. 

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space  mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later 

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops?                                    Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (: 

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat. 

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days!  As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week.  I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol                                     Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe. 

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal 

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess 

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow. 

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing 

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION 

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed /                                                                                                xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working. 

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^ 

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe. 

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win 

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA. 

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out? 

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY  my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt. 

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out!                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives 

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh. 

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!  

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see!  I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that. 

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack 

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild. 

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)