#anyway we all know ed would love 2000s girl pop right??

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

ya ha har me besties heres a thing i've been putting far too much thought into over the past month and i think it might be my favourite blorbo playlist ever. the title is self explanatory and the tracks are ordered to reflect what i, in my infinite wisdom, deem to be eddie's emotional progression post-breakup (but tbh you can just shuffle it idc).

cover image by @elahogn because its my favourite image ever

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. What kinds of genres of music do you listen to? I listen to a variety of music.

2. Are there any types of music that you don’t listen to at all? House music, trance music, dubstep...

3. Do you own any band tees? Yes, I have a few.

4. Name some of your favorite male solo artists. Charlie Puth, Post Malone, Ed Sheeran, Drake, Shawn Mendes, John Mayer, Stevie Wonder, Usher, etc.

5. Name some of your favorite female solo artists. Stevie Nicks, Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Demi Lovato, Halsey, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Megan thee Stallion, Lana Del Rey, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Rihanna, etc. 

6. Name some of your favorite boy-bands. Jonas Brothers, NSYNC, BSB, New Kids on the Block, 5 Seconds of Summer. 

7. Name some of your favorite all-girl bands. Hmm. Only girl groups are coming to mind, but that’s different than a band. The only one that comes to mind at the moment is Aly & Aj. 

8. Name some of your favorite bands/groups in general. Linkin Park, RHCP, Coldplay, Foo Fighters, 3 Doors Down, Maroon 5, Destiny’s Child, Paramore, Fleetwood Mac, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco...

9. Do you sing in the shower? Yeah. I have a shower playlist on my Spotify I listen to.

10. Do you sing along with the radio in the car? Well, my family plays their Spotify in their cars, but yeah I often sing along if I like the song playing.

11. Do you listen to music while you are cooking, filling out surveys, or cleaning the house? I listen to it when I’m cleaning, getting ready, taking a shower, in the car, or just chillin’.

12. What’s the name of the song that you’re listening to right now, if any? What’s the name of the band/singer? I’m not listening to music at the moment. 

13. What kinds of music do your parents listen to? Do you think that their music taste differs greatly? Whose music taste is better, in your opinion? My dad listens to a lot of classic rock, rock, and country, but he likes some top 40 type stuff. My mom listens to a variety of music like I do. Since I like a variety, I enjoy a lot of the same music as my both parents. Probably more so my mom, though. 

14. Do you ever listen to music without any words? Not often, but sometimes. Like some classical music. It has been awhile, though.

15. Are there any famous musicians that you’ve met? Are there any that you would like to meet? I met Drake Bell a couple times. I wish I could have met Chester Bennington. :(

16. What was the first concert you’ve been to, if any? How about the last/most recent? Which, out of all of the concerts you’ve attended, was the best? My first concert was a Christian alternative band with my first boyfriend. My last concert was Green Day with my best friend at the time. Green Day, Jonas Brothers, Drake Bell, and the Jingle Ball concerts (had several artists/bands perform) I went to were all awesome. 

17. Do you have a favorite movie soundtrack? What is it? Sweeney Todd.

18. Would you want to be a band groupie? Why or why not? No.

19. What is a band/singer you would like to see but haven’t gotten a chance to yet? There’s several. I’m really sad I never got to see Linkin Park. 

20. Do you care more about the beat of the music you listen to, or the lyrics? Both. I mean, there’s songs that I just like or are catchy and the lyrics don’t matter as much, but I love songs with relatable lyrics that just speak to me.

21. Does anyone in one of your favorite bands play an unusual instrument? I mean, they might in addition to the one they play in the band, but *shrug*

22. What are some of the songs that you listen to the most frequently? There’s a lot. I just hit shuffle on my main Spotify playlist, which consists of a variety of genres and arists/bands. That’s the playlist I listen to all the time.

23. Could you make a playlist of songs that describes your life? What kinds of playlists do you have made? I wouldn’t have the motivation or energy to attempt that. It would take a lot of time and thinking.

24. Do you remember listening to music on CDs and cassettes, not just on the internet? Yes.

25. What kind of music device do you use in order to listen to music? (iPod, MP3 Player, etc. I listen to Spotify on my phone.

26. Is there anyone in your family who is a musician? No.

27. Would you ever consider a career in music? No. I don’t have any musical talent. I played some piano when I was younger, but I wasn’t great. I really wish I took it more seriously, though, and kept up with it. 

28. What is a song that would describe your current mood? Who is it by? lol Jason Mraz’s song, “Sleep All Day”  just popped into my head because of the title. It’s almost 7AM, so I probably will sleep all day.

29. Are there any musicians of the past that you really admire? Absolutely.

30. Do you listen to Top 40 type music? Yeah.

31. What musical instrument would you like to learn how to play? Have you ever played an instrument before/taken lessons? What was it? Like I said, I played some piano when I was younger and I wish I took it more seriously and kept up with it.

32. Do you enjoy watching musicals on DVD or sitting through them as plays? Which method do you prefer, and which is your favorite? I haven’t seen a lot of musicals, but there’s a few I’ve seen and liked. Seeing them live is awesome, but I like watching them at home whenever I want as well. Sweeney Todd is one of my favorites. Side note, Disney+ just added Hamilton and I’ve been thinking about watching it. I remember when it was super popular, so now that it’s available to watch I’d like to check it out.

33. What was the worst concert you’ve ever attended before, and what made it the worst? I’ve never been to a bad concert.

34. Have you ever crowd-surfed during a show or been a part of a mosh pit? No.

35. Have you ever gotten into an altercation with a drunken concert fan before? What happened? No.

36. Have you ever dated someone who was a musician? Joseph plays the guitar and can sing. 

37. What are some of your favorite music videos to watch? Before a week ago when MTV did a Flashback Friday thing and played music videos from the 90s and early 2000s, it had been a long time since I’ve watched any music videos. They’re not a big thing anymore, I feel like. I mean, I know they’re still being made, but it’s not like back in the day when we had TRL and MTV actually played music videos. I remember getting excited back then to watch them.

38. Have you ever made a lyric video on YouTube? No.

39. Have you ever recorded a cover song and posted it? What kind of feedback did you receive? Noooo. I can’t sing, why would I embarrass myself like that?

40. Is there an album cover design that you really admire? There’s been a lot of cool album covers.

41. What are some of the most overplayed songs right now, in your opinion? I haven’t listened to the radio in like 3 years, so I don’t know.

42. Do you watch music awards shows on television? Yes.

43. Have you ever competed in any sort of singing contest before? No. I can’t sing. I mean, I sing at home along to my favorite songs, but I don’t sing well lol.

44. Have you ever tried to start your own band before? No. I told you, I have no musical talent.

45. What’s the name of a band/singer that you recently have discovered? I discovered this song called, “Dream Girl”,  by Ir-Sais. I heard the song on TikTok. I’ve found a few songs that way, but that’s the most recent one.

46. What are some annoying/weird/funny songs that have gotten stuck in your head? >> Barbara Ann gets stuck in my head all the time, but that’s okay because it’s fun and I love it. <<< Haha, now it’s in mine. I like it, too, so it’s fine. Anyway, yeah there’s been a lot of songs like that that get stuck in my head. I’m failing to think of another example at the moment, though. I’m too tired.

47. Are there any songs that actually make you cry? What are they, and who are they by? Yes, there’s a few. One is the acoustic version of Everlong by Foo Fighters.

48. Do you listen to any music in another language? Some in Spanish. There were also a few I liked in Swedish.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Weeks 7 + 8

Overall Plot

Sid and Ishani are about 10 minutes away from hardcore Love. And literally every single person knows and is rooting for it (including the security guards at Sanjivani/Ishani’s apartment complex!!!!!), except the two idiots themselves. Shashank is still dealing with the fallout of the thing with Juhi and the admin issues stemming from their unresolved issues, but small mercies, his relationship with Anjali seems to be looking up. Nurse Philo's daughter Jessica has been admitted mere days before her wedding and found to have a terminal illness and it's heartbreaking as fuck.

The Medical Stuff

Lol, does Ishani's "sickness" count? She's pretty convinced that she's dying of something serious, the way she was charting her symptoms and kept getting diagnostic test after diagnostic test, so I think it should. Glad she's finally gotten a diagnosis and the prognosis looks promising! Other than that, Nandini got operated on successfully by the Shashank-Juhi team, and the only active case we have is Jessica's Stage IV cancer. But I think that's going to focus more on the emotional side of things (getting her the dream wedding she wants), since it's at such an advanced stage that it wouldn't respond to treatment anyway.

The Acting

Thank the lord above, they have started giving Surbhi comedy to do, which is where she really shines as an actor. Namit is most excellent at heart eyes, and his crying has improved from the first few weeks; dialogue delivery still needs to be more polished though. Jason and Kunal are being used effectively by giving them hilarious, snarky scenes while they drill some sense into Ishani/Sid. Robin is still pretty much in the background other than to pop up and deliver the occasional wisecrack. Very sad to see Rashmi go, she'd really won my heart as Asha. The seniors got to ease up on the angsty scenes these weeks and I'm grateful for that; it's nice to see them loosen up a bit and smile and joke around. Special mention to Vedika Bhandari as Jessica, who's just ridiculously adorable and sooooooo likable, that I already am having trouble at the thought of letting her character go.

The Characters

Sid: MY DUDES, I DID NOT EXPECT TO FALL THIS HARD FOR SIDDHANT FUCKING MATHUR, BUT WELP, HERE WE ARE. I honestly cannot believe that this boy exists on Tellywood. Where to even start with him in these two weeks? How much younger than his years he seems when he was imploring his mom to stay to meet Shashank; his heart eyes when he wakes up to see Ishani first thing next morning (after waiting to see her the whole night!!!); his bashfulness at all the love he's getting from the whole hospital staff; his good-natured humoring of Ishani's weird behaviour... He's just so unassuming and Soft. I can't really recall seeing this lovable a male lead in tellywood in forever (all I can think of is Hussain K. characters in the early 2000s, in Krishna Arjun and Kumkum and all.) But by no means is Sid a pushover who tolerates any kind of BS. He rightfully rips Rishabh to shreds when he tries to discredit his relationship with Ishani, and understandably calls Ishani out on her nonsense when she's evading her duties, but in a decent way. There is some against-the-wall-caging (because Tellywood), but in a non-threatening manner; he maintains an appropriate distance, does not touch her, and while he does talk in a raised voice due to frustration, never does it veer into yelling that feels dangerous, and he repeatedly asks her if he said or did anything that's making her uncomfortable to be around him. I found it a little strange that he was so vehemently in denial of his feelings for Ishani in last week's episodes, because he seemed to readily accept after his conversation with Guddu Mama (“Halwa banaa ke leke jaaoon? Usko achcha lagega?" with the most hopeful smile; calling Ishani a "bohut hi pyaari si princess" to her face and specifying that he specifically made the halwa for her "pyaaaaar se", being open to the idea of marrying Ishani when Nurse Philo/Jessica jokingly suggest it....) but I guess it would be pretty incongruous for him to instantly fall hard for Ishani AND recognize it, with his past as a "player". So I like that they brought in one of his flings to contrast how different his feelings for Ishani are compared to the other girls he's dated; and subsequently how he's processing his many emotions about the situation. Most of all, I love that his feelings for Ishani don't hamper him from doing his job right; instead they just make him more sensitive to understanding her and making her feel good in any capacity that he can. He came all the way over to her house to apologize for making her cry, AND MADE HER PARATHAS!!!!!!! He slept over, but respectfully all scooched up on her tiny couch! What a goddamn Good Boi. Also, him crying over Jessica's diagnosis? Heart-fucking-breaking. We should all be so lucky to find a doctor who cares about his patients THIS much.

Ishani (or lol as Guddu Mama calls her, "Pareshaani"): I really was expecting the absolute worst with this "Ishani has Loveria" track. And it did not start out well; almost 3 whole episodes were just her puerile lovesick imagination waale music videos and that goddamn CGI titli and I was just like jfc whyyyyyyyyyy. BUT THEN!!!!!!! They finally started showing us the funny side of Ishani, and it's succeeded in making the character lovably kooky, instead of just unpleasant to be around. Her panic attack in the bathroom where she legit thinks she's having a stroke and tries to literally shake off the crush, making all the first year residents repeatedly do ECGs on her, her awkwardness around Sid, the rant where she bemoans falling in love with Sid of all people, her child-like crying to Asha when Sid finally gives her a dressing down for acting idiotic ("Mujhe ITNA daanta! ITNAAAA! Aur unprofessional bhi bola! *violently stabbing finger in the air* UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!!!!!"); all of it was just hilarious as fuck. We're finally seeing the endearing side of Ishani's addled personality. I'm also very glad she got the much-required wakeup call from Sid/Asha, that she's being very unprofessional by running away from her duties, and hopefully from here on, she'll be learn to focus on her job, even with Sid's distracting presence. She's also made quite a bit of progress when it comes to her germophobia; but realistically: it's only with Sid (and Asha) - the two people she's really close to; she's still seen being touch-averse with the rest, but slowly getting better; letting children touch her, offering to shake hands with Jessica and Jignesh, etc.

Asha & Aman: I'm super bummed that Rashmi is being replaced as Asha, because she was honestly so good in the role; cheerful and hilarious in most of her scenes, gentle and sensitive with Ishani, helping her out as much as she can with this inconvenient crush... It's not an easy role, with the accent and all. I hope this new actress is as competent as Rashmi, who always highlighted the humour but without making the accent the punchline; it was always the things she said and how she chooses to word it. It's an important distinction, to not make the regional background into a caricature.

Aman is Aman as usual, lol; vicariously getting kicks thanks to the shenanigans of everyone around. Also, to my surprise, Aman and Asha live together! They offer up their place for a party for Sid; when Ishani freaks out that the cake he ordered isn't Sid's favt. flavour, Aman just shrugs "Meri Asha ko butterscotch pasand hai." I still don't really know what his equation with Asha is, but whatever it is, I love it. Asha's a self-sufficient girl, but it's obvious that Aman feels really protective of her and wants to see her happy always. I really hope the new actress maintains this ambiguous chemistry with Robin too, till the writers decide what direction they wanna take this relationship in.

Dialogue of the Week: Asha [walking in on Ishani holding a sleeping Sid's hand]: Abbe! Humaare saamne toh badi "garma"phobic bani ghoomti hai, ab dekho Dr. Sid ke saath kaise touchy-wouchy ho rahi hai!!!!!!!!!!!

Rishabh: Fucking asshole. He Tried, but he's no match for the razor sharp wit of Sid, or Asha's jugaadu skills to relieve an overworked Ishani. Chal dafa ho, be! Manhoos kahinka.

Neil: He's really really enjoying Sid and Ishani's crushes on each other, taking the mick out of both of them at any given opportunity. I truly lmao-ed when he was seriously examining Ishani for an illness on her insistence and then eye-rollingly dismisses her with "Kuch nahi hua hai tumhe." Cutest snark bean.

Rahil: MY ACTUAL FAVE. Lmao, if Ishani’s got her little purple titli, then Rahil is Sid’s grownass plaid-shirt-wearing TITLA, who appears outta nowhere to serve up piping hot sass at his confused dumbassery. His acerbic, plain-speak snark seems to be the only language Sid understands (as opposed to the first years' gleeful teasing, or the good-natured ribbing of elders like Shashank and Philo and Guddu Mama), and him having to exasperatedly explain things to his boss-who-is-also-his-bff is just hilarious. I relish every single scene he appears in to the max! Also props to him for giving us the gem "same level ke ajeeb" as the OTP tag for SidIsha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shashank: A much better fortnight for Dr. Shashank! Two of his idiot babies are very obviously in love (that scene of Ishani showing him her reports and describing the butterfly through pantomime though, lmao) and now his relationship with Anjali is defrosting (the exchange about the surgeon she was interested in and how he wants grandkids from her??? The cutest!!!!) Things still remain frosty with Juhi though, and I don't understand why he won't just address the issue and clarify things in a straightforward manner, instead of dragging it out like this and making it awkward with his COS/mentee. Anyway, good on him for getting that win on Vardhan, but I feel like he needs to stop being so damn stubborn on his issues without giving reasons. It’s not helping matters around here, personally or professionally.

Juhi: Literally the classiest female professional on TV??????? She hasn't stopped holding Shashank accountable for how he sabotaged her career, but I love that she has sorted it out enough to work with him, but also engages in minor acts of pettiness like gleefully scraping his car with hers, cheekily grinning and apologizing saying she needed to get out some of the angst before they operated on a patient together. For what it's worth, I was fully on her side during the argument with Shashank about the machines for the hospital; it sounded like a good deal, but of course, she should have had the foresight to know Vardhan would try to do some kinda fuckery. She’s right in not really trusting Shashank anymore, but needs to be a little more prudent with how she proceeds while making decisions for Sanjivani. In a way, it’s really sad how she doesn’t really have any allies at her level. Shashank was the only one she could really rely on, and he went and blew that relationship up, and now she’s kinda adrift in the organization. I hope Shashank does good by her and repairs the relationship.

Anjali: Phew, finally a good break for Anjali. I'm ecstatic. She's realized that Vardhan's manipulating her and broken free of his gaslighting nonsense. She's much smarter than both Shashank and Vardhan thought she was and yes sis, play them both!!!!!!! She got her COS post, but also isn't playing by Vardhan's rules. Ultimate winner! But does she also have some romantic feelz for V? Coz that last scene between them had very intimate vibes, from the way she walked into his office and knew where the booze was, to her pouring him a glass and casually lounging against the wall like a wife/girlfriend would. She wasn't even really fazed when he grabbed her; either she's a hella strong woman who cannot be trifled with, or she's familiar with this side of him. I really hope it's the former coz she deserves someone who's a grown up version of Sid (*cough* Atul Joshi *cough*) who's super good and healthy for her, not this deceitful fuckwad.

Vardhan: What is his deal? No honestly, does he have some kinda personal stake in saving Sanjivani from financial ruin? It seems so, with how overwrought and devastated he seemed at Shashank exposing the machine waala scam. Also, the way he manhandled Anjali? Unforgivable. Die in a fire, scum.

Rahul: Still haven't seen him but apparently he's hiding in that secret room in the luxury ward? What the everloving experimental fuck is he doing with pregnant women who look to be unable to afford medical care? Nothing ethical, that's for sure. I have a feeling this will maybe tie up to Ishani's parents waala plot, but for the meanwhile, jfc, just reveal yourself man, coz this shit is getting scary as fuck the longer you go unseen.

Overall Rating: 5/5

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Double Decker 12 - 13 (FINAL) | Golden Kamuy 23 - 24 (FINAL) | Merc Storia 11 - 12 (FINAL) | Zombieland Saga 12 (FINAL) | Gridman 12 (FINAL) | Cells at Work! 14 (OVA) | Shield Hero 1 | Boogiepop 1 - 2 | Egao no Daika 1

Trigger warnings for rape and slavery in the Shield Hero commentary.

Double Decker 12

Deana’s actually kinda tsundere…that’s kinda amazing to see, really.

I noticed Doug’s phone says “Dr. Apple”. Haha.

Kirill’s special. But why? You never answered that, people! Update: It’s because his antibodies are an antidote for Anthem.

There appears to be a Shell logo on one wall of Derick’s bar…LOL. Shell exists in real life. Why do we want it in an anime, now…?

I laughed so hard when I saw the landlady with what remained of Seven-O, hahaha.

Travis and Sophie, huh? Is it a ship or a working relationship? Who knows?

Oh! This didn’t make sense until Derick declared the bus was a bar. Rigggggggggght.

Kirill, believe in the Doug that believes in you…or something like that…

Kirill’s holding two guns, so when Cooper says, “Put down the gun,” which one does he mean???

“And Then There Weren’t None!” – Parodying (Agatha) Christie again, I see? (Referring to Hyouka’s Why Didn’t They Ask Evans parody, Why Didn’t She Ask Eba?.)

Golden Kamuy 23

How did “pig food” in a sentence become so terrifying???

Why is Tsurumi’s head leaking???

*Sugimoto bashes the earless twin with his prosthetic foot* - Well, that’s one way to get a leg up on someone…okay, I’ll see myself out.

Merc Storia 11

If Orthos is complaining about rain, why is he a water-element unit in the game???

This show is gorgeous. Not to mention the backgrounds look like they’ve been ripped out of the game…

Aw, Orthos is kinda cute. Kinda tsundere. I wonder if he wanted to hear “happy birthday” from Raviol…?

Every time I watch through the ED, I think Raviol’s going “Geddof me!” to Yuu.

Zombieland Saga 12 (FINAL)

The Yuugiri slap returns!

The 21st of December seems to have been the original airdate of this episode…

Karatsu-jou is Karatsu Castle, quite obviously.

Wait…does this mean Kotaro Tatsumi’s real (last) name is Inui? Or was this a “I changed my name bcause my mother/I (re)married” thing?

There’s an end of episode segment…keep watching.

That was…such a non-ending! This definitely needs a season 2 if it wants to finish its storyline! Plus, Yuugiri, Tatsumi and Tae never got their focus episodes!

Gridman 12 (FINAL)

What the heck was up with that smoke cloud? It looked so real, and yet so out of place!

Ooh, I see Anti now has the ability to transform by himself…although I should’ve figured that out last episode, since I think that happened then as well.

*Anti gets stabbed with Alexis’s sword* - What the hck just happened to my garbage son??? (refer to This Week in Anime for how that nickname came about for Anti)

Eyy. So you’re saying Gridman was a magical girl robot all along? Haha…hahahaha.

So basically, it’s Boueibu LOVE! but with less meta. With lessons of mortality instead of the Kabuki Rule. Akane’s basically female!Kinshiro, right down to the hairdo…

Wow…someone really ran out of budget. It’s literally just a slideshow, but with black and white over it.

Oh, there’s actually a nice piano song in the background. So maybe I was wrong about the budget…? I don’t really want to go and watch the slideshow again, y’know.

There’s a random live-action segment at the end of this show??? Wuh??? What do I need to expect next, a talking meteorite??? (referring to Dimension High School)

Okay, seriously??? What was up with live-action Rikka???? I don’t get it… Update: Okay, so the live-action girl was Akane, not Rikka. That’s why it was so confusing…

Double Decker 13 (FINAL)

I laughed really hard at the explosions. Probably because I Photoshopped someone into a picture of an explosion and the scene with Kirill being shoved forward by an explosion reminded me of it…

I wanted Max to slap Travis, as weird as that might be for a show like this (but not for a show like Zombieland Saga). A punch in the gut’s good too, though.

“To be continued?” – Oh. Ohh. Ooh…Heh. I already knew there were some extra episodes, but at this point, there’s no ruling out a season 2, either…hmmm. I really wouldn’t mind a season 2, y’know.

Golden Kamuy 24 (FINAL)

For some reason, I’ve ben referring to Hijikata as “old fart” for the length of this episode (meaning “not long”). He’s an impressive old fart, to be sure, and he was hella nice-looking in his heyday, but in the age of Golden Kamuy, he’s still an old fart.

I thought “Say hello to my little friend” was from Scarface, not…whatever Tsurumi’s pulling here. (commnt made in jest with straight face)

Seriously, what happened to ruin Nopperabo/Wilk’s face, anyway?

Someone make me a Civil War poster with Golden Kamuy characters, stat!

Wait, so Kiroranke, Asirpa and co. are headed north to meet up with Kiroranke’s allies, which could cause a civil/national war. Hijikata and Blockhead Dick-sensei (forgot his name) are headed south due to the info they got from Inudou’s hut (the chapel). I’m pretty sure that’s what just happened, but…I could have missed a bit and then I’d be wrong.

“Send the beloved child on a journey” is a Japanese saying, by the way. That’s (probably?) what Sugimoto’s referring to when he talks with the boat captain (the elder Koito). Oddly, the elder Koito seems to drop the last O from “-dono”, which seems to be a Satsuma thing…?

Cells at Work Special Ep (Ep 14)

Oh, you can see the effector cell amongst the other T Cells! Hello there!

I remember studying stuff about how a cell divides…man, that was at least 2 years ago! You’re making me feel old…

*Helper T Cell appears* - Gaddangit, Kazuma! (from Noragami)

Merc Storia 12 (FINAL)

There’s just something too awfully cute about a brother leaving the “nest”.

Even birds need to learn to fly. I wonder why Orthos didn’t…?

Ah! It’s one of those low-level hooting monsters! I’ve seen them in the game but I don’t know what they’re called…Update: They’re called Goldories. Spoke too soon…

Well…that’s a bit frustrating. That’s the second non-ending this season…hey! I’ve seen that elephant in the game! Plus that slime! (LOL, I’m so easily distracted…)

Ooh, that non-ending. I’ll give it a piece of its mind by giving it an average rating on my AniList!!! Rah!!! Anyways, see ya later…for 2019 anime.

Shield Hero 1

First anime of 2019 and it’s this one. Hoo boy – I’ve read one chapter of the manga, courtesy of CR. It’s gonna get nasty down in here, judging by the buzz that seems set to replicate Goblin Slayer’s…

Oh…that’s not a very favourable opening, the “It was all a dream” opening. Sure, it was gripping and showd Raphtalia (saw her name in promo material from ANN), but f*** if it weren’t overused at this point in time…

I always thought Shield Hero started out like Fushigi Yuugi…speaking of which, is that no longer on Crunchyroll?

Motoyasu’s got his own spinoff, so I’m hoping I’ll get to know him well over the next 12 weeks or so.

I find it interesting that they put the heroes together to reveal they’re from different versions of Japan so quickly. I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen in the manga.

Honestly, that “NOOOOOOOOOOOo!” could be an awesome reaction GIF. Just sayin’.

Sigh…Myne, Myne, Myne…you and your ways with Naofumi…

(Trigger warning: rape discussion) See? As I said, I knew this was going to happen. The thing is that it played out a lot more clearly in the anime than it did in the manga. As much as I don’t like the trope of “rape as accusation” enough (enough to have never encountered it before), it would be hypocritical of me to say I haven’t used it before – it appears in Half-Paid Heroes. However, one year out from having written it (due to the #MeToo movement), I can only say “rape is so not on”. I do not condone rape, but from a storytelling perspective it’s the perfect trope to make a character look like a monster and it makes a clearly false accusation have more oomph behind it, so…let’s just say Shield Hero’s doing its job here, making me despise Myne and the system in this world. Besides, I only stand on the side that does the better story.

For some reason, Naofumi’s “You can shove it all up your a***!” demand reminds me of when I’m angry and doing unreasonable demands…which means it’s won me over now.

I just realised…there hasn’t been much music until now…

(Trigger warning: slavery discussion) Oof. Now they’ve gotten to a new low of depravity in this show. Naofumi’s probably gonna buy a slave…again, I don’t condone this, but I assume Raphtalia is here.

Yep, even without knowing past ch 1, I was right on the money. That’s Raphtalia!

Poppies, huh? The symbol of bloodshed. What a perfect flower for this show, which demonstrates Naofumi’s blood, sweat and tears…

As much as I don’t condone some of the acts done in this show, I see some huge potential. Even if it’s got controversy flying around it like flies, I’ll stand with it. Are you with me?

Boogiepop 1 – 2

Double length premiere…oof, this’ll be tough on my spare time. Lately, I’ve been told to clean up the house a bunch and doing all manner of other things, so it’s just eating up time on all sides.

OP start is…for some reason, never a good start. For some reason, I just don’t like it. Maybe that might be the fact I was taught to start with a compelling opening scene when I was a fiction writer, though.

The subber got so bored they even subbed the Dengeki Bunko logo in the corner…wow. (sarcastic)

For some reason, the art style reminds me of Banana Fish (or Parasyte). Must be the chara designs.

This seems to be coated in a fine film of 90s edge. Or maybe the early 2000s, because that’s when this really comes from. C’mon, Takeda doesn’t even seem surprised when his mouth hangs open!

Notably, Boogiepop uses boku.

Wait, I don’t get why Boogiepop is called that. They pop the boogie(men)? That right?

I started zoning out and fiddling with my wrist in the middle of this episode. That’s another bad sign…

Wow, that ending’s really minimalist.

Currently, this episode raises more questions than it answers. Its overall impression level is trending slightly towards the negative. There must be a double premiere for a reason, though…let’s move on.

Wait - Kirima Seiichi? Is he Nagi’s father??? How did I not notice that earlier?

That manticore business seems to be correct…according to Wikipedia.

This doesn’t add up. Taniguchi. Kirima. Maybe Taniguchi is the name of the mother/father and Kirima is the name of the other parent? Update: Spoke too soon on this point and a previous one.

Kirima’s OS appears to be Windows 10 with a few adjustments.

Wait, but isn’t Suema meant to be the girl’s surname? Or is it Kinoshita? Update: It’s Suema. Kinoshita is another girl.

This white-haired man is the one from last episode, right? I didn’t really recognise him since there’s always terrible lighting plus he was wearing orange then, but yeah. Can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots there either.

White-haired man seems to be like Anti from Gridman. I presume he’s Echoes…? Update: Yup, Echoes it is.

Egao no Daika 1

This sounds like it’s outside my field of expertise, but I’ve been proven wrong before with Planet With, not to mention Toshiki Masuda is a character called Huey Malthis. It seems to be pretty standard Princess and the Pauper fare though…

There’s just a bunch of tablets with fancy-looking English on them…the heck?

Is it just me, or did the mecha game have the solitaire success sound effect…?

Ooh, I sense animosity regarding Japan’s emperor abdicating within this show (in a metaphorical sense)! I could analyse this show to bits, maybe…

The CGI in this actually ain’t that bad. Then again, we are talking about mechs here…

Oh, end of episode segment. Keep watching…

Well, I noticed the characters go off model if you’re paying attention to something you shouldn’t be, but otherwise, it’s a respectable first episode…respectable, but fairly average.

[suckitsurveys]

Do you have any pets? What kind? Yup, I have 3 cats. A torti, an all black kitty, and a grey and white one.

What are their names? That is… if you have any? Ramona, Friday, and Saké.

How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa? I’m not sure. It’s still fun to get into it, especially with my nieces.

Dragons or unicorns? Unicorns.

Do you wish vampires existed? Eh.

What is your favorite book of all time? Probably To Kill a Mockingbird because I’m boring and basic.

At the moment what is your favorite song? Los Ageless by St. Vincent.

Do you ever click on those lame advertisements? Depends.

Have you ever been pantsed? No.

Do you sing in front of people you don’t know very well? How about dance? Not solo. I’ll sing and dance in front of people if other people are joining along.

Have you ever sang/spoke/preformed in front of people on a stage? Yes.

Is it more fun or scary to do so? If you haven’t then what would you think? It’s fine.

What do you think about the old Micheal Jackson? What do you think about him now? I like his music.

Do you keep up with pop culture? For the most part. Memes, anyway.

What is your favorite magazine? I don’t read any.

Would you rather slit your wrists than read Cosmo? Jesus.

Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? I loved Barbies as a kid! My niece is pretty into them, so that’s fun for me to get them for her.

What is your biggest pet peeve? Ignorance.

What are the initails of the person you hate? ED. Lol they have the same initials as erectile dysfunction. I just noticed that. It’s so fitting hahaha.

What turns you off in the opposite sex? Ignorance.

What kind of gum do you chew most often? Your favorite flavor? I don’t really chew it that often by Watermelon Bubbalicious is AMAZING.

Do you carry around a purse or a humongous bag? II have a purse.

Do you keep everything in the universe in your bag/purse? Yes and no.

What’s one word that you have to say about miss Britney Spears? Legend.

What’s your favorite hit song right now? Any of Ariana’s singles right now. I’m obsessed.

What was the last thing you ate? A banana.

How is your self esteem? It’s okay.

Do you ever ask random questions to see people’s reactions? Not really?

Do you like to people watch? Yeah.

Are you a very patient type of person? Yeah, but I have my moments. And of course those are the ones people always pick up on and call me impatient. But I really do have a ton of patience in general.

I’m trying for at least 2000 questions. Was the a dumb thing to try? In this survey? Thank u, next.

What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Water.

Have you ever made/wanted to make a survey? I’ve done it before.

Do you have a Zwinky? IMVU? Nope.

Do you think IMVU has better graphics then the Sims? What’s IMVU?

Have you ever had a Neopets? No.

When you were younger didn’t you just love Pokemon? Oh yes.

Do you currently love Pokemon? I’m still pretty into it.

Have you ever been to a wild party? Sure. Are you cold or hot right now? I’m comfortable.

Are you going to take any bathroom/eating breaks throughout this? I doubt it.

Do you wish you were albino? No?

Have you ever met anyone who was albino? Yes.

How many friends do you have on Myspace? Lol.

Do you like long car rides? Yes.

Are you one of those people who get car sick? I get slight motion sickness. I haven’t ridden a long distance in the back seat f a car in a LONG time, so I don’t know if I am over that or not.

Have you ever gotten sea sick? Yup.

Would you ever join the military? No.

What is your dream job? Event planner.

Do you ever want to get married? Have kids? If so how many kids do you want? I am married. I don’t want kids.

What age is the right age to get married? And have kids? I don’t know if there’s a “right” age.

How about just plain sex? YOU DO YOU BOO as long as it is safe and consensual and legal.

Do you think pot should be legalized? Yes.

Since so many people do it, is pot even cool anymore? I don’t see it as being “cool.”

What is your computer sitting on? How about yourself? A desk. I am in a chair.

Are you an organized person? A clean person? I try to be.

What kind of bodywash do you use? I have some Dove bar soap we are using right now. I bought a big pack when I got my tattoo because that was all they had of the kind I needed but hardly went through one bar so now we have a bunch of bar soap haha.

When was the last time you switched your tooth brush? A few months ago sometime.

When was the last time you flossed your teeth? Oops.

Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? No.

How about slippers? No.

What is your favorite thing to sleep in? a t shirt and undies.

If you had a baby girl what would it’s name be? How about a boy? I’m never having kids.

Are you in love? Have you ever been in love before? I am.

Can you multi-task? Somewhat.

How fast does butt hair grow? Wow okay.

Are your parents still together? My father is widowed.

[smokeybrand]

The Worst

I wasn't really planning to touch this one because I'm so goddamn tired but this sh*t with the Duggars is itching my booty so I'm going in. I got time today. Josh Duggar f*cks kids. Some of those kids were his own sisters. He was caught, convicted, and sent off to conversion therapy camp instead of jail because his pops' unwieldy power in Arkansas. In 2015. This all came out in 2015 because of rather diligent reporters and investigators. That's when we found out about the transgressions, which actually took place before then. Dude went through all of that, did all of those terrible things, BEFORE 2015! By the time all of this came out, the "issue" had already been resolved and that coward hid behind his "faith" through PR snippets and cats just okey-doked it. Sure, the Duggar lost their show, but who cares? They're still supported by the religious zealots on the Right. They still wield unheard of power in Arkansas, all because the Duggars are “Christian” in the “right” way. Because they're "good" people. Well, it's 2021 and ol' Joshy-boy is facing forty years for the same sh*t he got busted on, way back before 2015. I guess f*cking kids is “Christian” in the “right”, according to how these people interpret the bible. Why the f*ck is this even a thing? How the f*ck is this a thing. More importantly, where the f*ck are all of these bible-thumping, Conservative hypocrites, who support straight up insurrection, now that one of their own is about to be nailed to the wall for the most heinous sh*t a person can do? Today, I awoke and chose all the violence.

Duggar was convicted as a minor but was never held accountable for his bullsh*t and now, some sixteen years later since he was exposed as a predator and threat, cat is on the hook for some verifiable, factually provable, horrific sh*t. The feds found terabytes upon terabytes of graphic child porn on his personal computer. Dude had a whole ass Ashley Madison account a while back, for which has since apologized,but those thing are used strictly for adultery. So, Joshy-boy is on record for molesting kids as a minor, cheating on his wife through the interwebs, and has now got the feds on his butt, because he picture of kiddy butts on hand. You see, that's a patter of escalation. Josh Duggar is a monster and it makes me wonder how that monster was allowed to roam or, more importantly, how man other monsters are hiding in that f*cked up family. Of course, the family is denying the claims but, with that verifiable history, you can really be telling me this asshole ain't out here f*cking all of the underage partners he can get his hands on. Really? He f*cked his sisters, man! There are no limits to this dude's disgusting predilections. He's been doing the same sh*t he got nailed with from before, for decades. Why would he ever stop? Who stops their bullsh*t, especially after getting caught and let go with a slap on the wrist? If I burn down an orphanage and you make me pick up trash as a consequence, I'm just going to keep committing arson on sh*t because picking up trash ain't sh*t. The juice id definitely worth the squeeze at that point and I am thirsty, bud. So was Joshy-boy, but for kiddy-diddling, not theoretical arson.

Josh Duggar has been getting away with f*cking kids for decades. Decades of slipping the noose because of his clout and the fact his family is viewed as 'God fearing.” I'm not even going to get into that toxic mess, and how it enabled this scumbag, but ol' Joshy-boy has little girls in his own home, where, because of his "faith" his word is law. What the f*ck is he doing to those kids? He diddled his little sisters. That's fact. He was convicted of that in the court of law. That's fact. He has a record for that and was never properly disciplined for it. That's fact. If he could do that to them, and get away with it unscathed, it's not unheard of to think he could do it to his own. And that's not to slight his boys because, if he's been doing this since he was a kid and escalation is a thing, pretty sure a little boy butt is fine now, too. Of course, this is all speculation on my part but I'm comfortable throwing around these alleged accusations considering the actual evidence onhand. I'm comfortable say Josh Duggar f*cks because he f*cked his sister when she was a kid. One is more than enough, bud. Which is why I don't understand how he has gotten away with this sh*t for years after. Why wasn't Duggar put on a list like a regular person? Why wasn't he forced into proper therapy? Why wasn't he watched like a hawk for the rest of his life? Why was he allowed to escape consequence and re-offend for decades? Why were his sisters forced to interact with this dude on that show for years, when every KNEW what he did to them? Why the f*ck was he allowed back around kids and no one said a peep until the feds found straight up, hardcore, graphic child pornography on his home computer?

Sh*t like this is why i don't understand how Conservative people feel like they know the moral way. They use the bible as some sort of blanket, get-out-of-jail-free card, refusing to even acknowledge their transgressions. Even Matt Gaetz is doing that sh*t. Sure, he's leaning heavy into the "cancel culture" lie, even though there are literal Venmo receipts of him buying sex from a minor, but he claims this a witch hunt predicated on his loyalty to 45 and his strong Conservative values. Values that are intrinsically linked to that Jesus jargon. So, according to him, he can traffic women for sex, at leas one of which was underage but we'll see how many actually were, while being engaged to a woman he claims to love, but this is persecution? This is a politically motivated attack? He's the victim? Really? It doesn't even stop there. Most cats who still believe in 45, and i mean actually believe in him because they think that asshole is some sort of real life Second Coming, conveniently dismiss his long record of adultery, the fact that he uses their faith as a disingenuous prop, and, more to the point of this discussion, THE COUNTLESS ACCUSATIONS OF CHILD RAPE! Dude beat up a fourteen year old before raping her, because he wanted to take her virginity by said rape, but Epstein raped her first, so she was “defiled” when it was his turn to rape her and he was mad about it. So, I repeat, Trump beat up the fourteen year old girl before he raped her, for already being raped. Your president did that sh*t and I know he did because she sued. Put that in your pocket because we're going to circle back around to it in a bit.

There was an entire documentary about Epstein on Netflix and 45's name is riddled throughout it. There are Cosby levels of victims in his ledger and, like Cosby, where there's smoke, there is definitely fire, bud. Trump has for sure f*cked at least one child and that's more enough. He should be castrated and tossed into a hole, not uplifted as some great leader who is going to lead America into it's next golden age. If you actually think that, you're a f*cking idiot, and I mean that in the most aggressively disrespectful way possible. If you actually, in your heart, believe that Donald f*cking Trump is some sort of moral barometer, that he is the one best fit to guide this country into the future, you are the worst kind of person and don't deserve a voice in our democracy. The girl who sued him over her traumatic experience, is in that doc and recalls her story exactly the same way she's told it for decades, exactly as i heard it a decade and half ago. See? Full circle. This chick sued him and he settled. He paid her to make that sh*t go away, per usual, the December before his inauguration and no one talked about that. The difference in her case and the many, many, other settlements, is the fact that Trump doesn't pay anyone without at least three appeals or the Feds force him. He shot this chick an undisclosed amount of loot almost immediately. I don't even think her case made it to trial. I think they were still in Discovery and he whipped out the checkbook. Why was that? Maybe he didn't want her talking after he became President? Or maybe because she could substantiate the horrible f*cking claims she has never deviated from making, for two whole ass decades? I f*cking wonder.

Now, I'm not, in anyway, saying the Left doesn't have their issues. Of course they do. When you get to a certain amount of wealth and power, your moral compass goes wacky and you end up in the papers for giving everyone herpes or trying to start a cult or some sh*t. Celebrities are f*cking weird, bud. What I am saying is the fact that most of these ridiculously damaging and hypocritical f*ck problems, tend to err on The Right more than the Left. I mean, Hilary Clinton has buried bodies, for sure, and i don't mean just Benghazi but, since 2000, the Right has been riddled with some of the most egregious acts you can imagine, in terms of Christian morality. There's a list you can check out on Wikipedia and that hard "R" pops up a great many times. Lots of infidelity on the Left. Lots of the OTHER stuff AND infidelity on the right. It's pathological with these people. The harder you thump that bible, the harder you're apparently thumping some strange. Be it trans trysts, adulterous liaisons, getting it the gay way, straight up sexual battery, or outright rape, the Right is just out here, throwing their sh*t around at whatever will gush. However, when caught, they hide behind their “faith” as a deterrent from actual accountability. It's f*cking disgusting, dude. I mean, Bill Clinton got head from a co-ed in the Oval office but Trump gave head to a nine year old in one of the elevators at Mar-a-Lago. These are not the same and just because one overtly pretends Jesus is his savior, doesn't mean he should get that pass or that the comparison is in anyway apt.

The cognitive dissonance between espousing the virtues of Christ and actually living them is always so stark with these Conservatives. It's a tool to them, not a calling, not a guide. But so many of their proliferate eat that sh*t up. F*cking why? These people are pandering to you. They don't respect your beliefs. They literally f*ck kids. How can they be good Christians and do sh*t like that? None of those people are genuine in their belief. How the f*ck can you just give these assholes the pass? How can you exalt them as idols worth following, protecting, and aggrandizing? None of those frauds worship the way you do. Hell, the people you look to in order to deliver the Word, don't even live the Godly life. They're multi-millionaires flying around in personal jets they bought from Tyler Perry, because God told them they shouldn't have to fly coach with all those demons. Those demons are you, you f*cking sheep. That's how they see you. From your Orange demagogue to your sycophant senators to your televangelist false idols, you are the demons. You are the fodder. You are the rubes. And they know you'll turn the other cheek as they spread them kiddy cheeks, because all they have to do is hold a bible upside down from time to time and say “God is good.”

[aion-rsa]

Marvel’s WandaVision Episode 2: MCU Easter Eggs and Reference Guide

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains WANDAVISION Episode 1 spoilers, and potential spoilers for future episodes, the wider MCU, and Marvel Comics. We have a spoiler free review here.

NOTE: This is our reference guide for WandaVision episode 2! If you’re looking for episode 1, click here instead.

And you thought this show couldn’t get weirder? WandaVision episode 2 moved its sitcom-flavor a few years into the (still black and white) future, introduced a few new characters, and started leaning a little harder into the MCU than we saw in the first episode.

Let’s see what we found…

Sitcom Inspiration!

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The idea of a regular suburban couple needing to do something goofy like put on an act for a talent show seems like classic sitcom fodder, but things get even more specific in this episode.

The animated intro is VERY reminiscent of the opening of Bewitched, the sitcom I feel like this has the most in common with in its first two episodes…for obvious reasons.

Due to the Hays Code, non-married couples never shared the same bed on television until…Darrin and Samantha on Bewitched in the ‘70s. This episode begins with Wanda and Vision in separate beds until Wanda magicks them together. 

One other sitcom-y connection might be that whenever reality is starting to show its cracks, a character says “damn,” which has to be against whatever TV rules they had in the 1950s and therefore breaks the immersion further. Vision’s boss yells it at dinner in the first episode and Vision says it when there’s that outside noise in this one.

Bova

The sharp-eyed Ed Duffy spotted a carton of “Bova Milk” in the opening animated segment of the episode.

Bova is a cow evolved to walk and talk like a human, a gentle old soul who served as a midwife at the birth of Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Well, at least in the comics. We’re not counting on seeing Bova’s lovely bovine countenance on this show any time soon, but hey, you never know!

The Grim Reaper

Also visible in that animated intro is the Grim Reaper’s helmet, apparently underground at their house. The Grim Reaper is an extremely annoying Marvel villain who constantly popped up in stories dealing with Vision and Scarlet Witch. He was the brother of Simon “Wonder Woman” Williams, was a stupid racist, and was really angry all the damn time.

Watch everything Marvel and more on Disney+, right here!

The actual location of that helmet could be a subtle callback to the events of Tom King and Gabriel Hernandez Walta’s Vision series, which is an absolute masterpiece that you should read as soon as possible.

Westview

Wanda and Vision live in the fictional town of Westview, which despite looking very much like a Burbank backlot, is likely supposed to be in New Jersey. There’s two reasons we’re going to place Westview in New Jersey. First, Herb makes a reference to Hackensack, NJ later in the episode. But more importantly, in the comics, Wanda and Vision made the real life bedroom community of Leonia, NJ their home in the 1980s Vision and the Scarlet Witch comics.

Illusion and Glamor

Wanda and Vision’s stage magic act name has them going by the name of “Illusion” (Vision) and “Glamor” (Wanda). In the Vision and the Scarlet Witch comics, Illusion and Glamor were characters of their own, famed stage magicians Ilya and Glynis Zarkov, who were friendly neighbors of our favorite weirdo couple. What the public didn’t know was that their stage magic was actually REAL magic (kind of like what we see with Viz and Wanda later this episode). And what even fewer people knew was that they were also international criminals. Anyway, don’t expect Ilya and Glynis to show up on WandaVision or in the MCU now that their names have been used.

Also…is it us or does Wanda’s “Glamor” bathing suit thingy feel like a reference to some of her original, skimpier costumes?

Who is Geraldine?

That would be Teyonah Parris as “Geraldine,” who it has already been revealed is in fact the grown up version of Monica Rambeau, the young girl we met in Captain Marvel. While we’re on the subject, is it us, or does Geraldine’s brooch look a little like the logo she wore when she took on the mantle of Captain Marvel in the comics?

The Neighbors

In addition to Agnes (who we wrote about in detail here) and the aforementioned Geraldine, we also meet Fred and Linda, Dennis the Mailman, Dottie and Phil, Beth, and someone named Herbert. We have our suspicions that the seven of them (minus Geraldine) could be Marvel’s Satan’s Seven. We wrote more about this theory here.

Ol’ Herb, perhaps coincidentally, but perhaps not, shares a name with Herbert Edgar Wyndham, the Marvel Comics villain known as the High Evolutionary, who in some versions of Wanda and her brother Pietro’s origin, was responsible for giving them their powers.

The Helicopter

Wanda finds a toy helicopter, in full color, in her bushes. For one thing, the helicopter is in Iron Man colors (or Vision colors?). For another, it has the #57 on it. Vision made his first appearance in the comics in the pages of Avengers #57 in 1968. But perhaps most importantly, that helicopter bears the logo of SWORD (which we wrote more about here) on it.

So here’s the uncomfortable question: is this just Wanda’s subconscious playing tricks on her, or did she actually bring down a SWORD helicopter not knowing what she did?

The Beekeeper

The weird and disturbing beekeeper is an agent of SWORD based on the logo on his back. Or…is he?

“For the Children”

The creepy, cult-y repetition of “for the children” certainly can’t be foreshadowing for Wanda’s own struggles with starting a family, can it? Of course not. Nothing to see here…

The Strucker Commercial

The watch comes from a company called “Strucker.”  

The Strucker watch matches up with one of the themes of the rest of the episode. Baron Wolfgang von Strucker showed up as part of Wanda and Pietro’s origin in the MCU, but before that, he was a comic book foe of Captain America’s, a Nazi who had a mystical artifact that gave him powers: his Satan Claw. With all the devil mentions elsewhere in this episode, this is likely intentional.

“He’ll make time for you,” the slogan from the commercial, likely hints at another aspect of Wanda’s story here. In the comics, she was discovered to be a Nexus of Realities, an entity with a lot of explanation that amounts to “she’s important to the multiverse.” The person who discovered this about her (and nurtured it, and protected her because of it) was Immortus, the far future version of Kang the Conqueror. 

The same two actors from the Stark Industries Toastmate 2000 commercial from episode one are back here. If they become a recurring theme, do they have greater significance?

Lingering Questions…

The WandaVision house number is 2800. So far, we’re drawing blanks on what that might mean from a Marvel or MCU standpoint.

Does anyone recognize the logo on “the cabinet of mysteries?” Is this something Wanda has worn? Is it perhaps a Doctor Strange easter egg?

Is it possible that “Wentworth’s” department store is a reference to Deidre Wentworth, better known as Superia, the villainous Femizon who once created an alternate reality of her own? No? Too much of a reach? OK, fine.

Spot anything we missed? Let us know in the comments!

The post Marvel’s WandaVision Episode 2: MCU Easter Eggs and Reference Guide appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[airoasis]

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/a-christmassy-ted-christmas-special-father-ted-dead-parrot-2/

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

You already know i’ve been doing various pondering lately in well I I just don’t believe i’m cut out for the priesthood I think it is time you and that i faced facts you want us as priests in the nation if now not the first-rate safe haven sub percent what i’m speakme about don’t you yeah yeah I believe I do i’ll be off then come here right here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you capable right here we go one two three howdy Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good once more yeah wait we get this kind of tender again again go on again Duggal simply sit down Oh Ted am i able to open a further window and the arrival calendar first very well then however consider you’re simply allowed to open latest window Oh Shepherd great stuff oh god Ted cannot open the opposite two no Dugan Ted I can not wait to find out what’s behind tomorrow’s one I bet it is a donkey or anything all correct so you’ve gotten transformed out of your initial prediction places of work once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go the place do you get these matters you realize scorching i’d say it can be mainly just a lovely angel what would you say is in the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows yes woman’s neck oh sure Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar unless the following day one other yr long past it’s rough to feel isn’t it I imply what’s it all about Dugan well it would not relatively have a narrative Ted you comprehend it’s practically football and stuff no dougela I mean lifestyles you already know your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-approach ticket to Palookaville you already know I regarded within the replicate this morning and i noticed a middle-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do lady oh yes of direction it is just that I acquired a Christmas card the previous day from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a 12 months and 2000 and guidelines exquisite how does he manipulate that I do not know a lap dancing or whatever and then there is father buzz Dolan in Canada he is his own exhibit on cable and that i hear he’s landed a significant section in the new Bond movie all began for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be quality to be noted are you aware what i would love about being noted people listen to you they hearken to what you have to say and i’ve a lot to say what about when you are doing all of your sermons Ted folks take heed to you then don’t they i do know dude I imply individuals I appreciate you see you simply talked right across me there even you don’t hearken to me that is not reasonable well I do are you looking ahead to Christmas i am indeed mrs.Doyle a great quiet Christmas that’s what I need a high-quality quiet Christmas with no exceptional incidents or unusual individuals turning up that will go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet common everyday Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s condominium no ed that’s it simply down the avenue oh thanks very a lot who used to be that Ted simply any one we’re looking for Riley’s residence she had a child together with her for a moment I thought a person had just left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you assume what would have happened if she’d left it with us sure we’ve been watching after and everything and coming into all types of hilarious jams the entire factor would were very very humorous well it would not have been that humorous Ted simply no and the drinks simply come out right here now you’ve got already punched in your choice from milk and sugar so all of the work is taken out of it even the ultra-modern girl plenty of time for scheming sympathy glitch and can entry espresso scorching chocolate or Horlicks yes tea master particularly takes the distress out of constructing tea good what do you feel possibly I just like the distress for mrs.Doyle good inspiration Ted fragrance is the superb lady reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented perfume so you don’t ought to put any notion into whatsoever I used to stick Jack ultimately oh they’ve bought this exceptional pressed head the place that you would be able to put humans who do not wish to go searching they are able to just stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there different individuals there are quite a lot of individuals lifeless you can be pleasant fragrance you think you would be capable to scent it very exactly how we all know good we’re within the Hindi placing around near ladies secret things it’s justice seem this way oh no more Underpants I mean I did not need so many forms of Underpants huh I mean what did the parade round of them looking in mirrors all the time we obtained slightly lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit misplaced here I think that’s why you are here as good misplaced sure right yeah that’s it that is it examples you understand how over here it is eire’s largest Landry section I realize yeah I read that somewhere the quality suggestions for us to get out of right here as quickly as possible you already know for clergymen striking across the freely part sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this manner we have now been here I do not forget these brows from the first time circular all of them look the equal to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay many times lonely factor to reduce the physical activities and extra-strength straps in the event you move by a bra with a center art support and single pilot and the flight lace outline then I consider we’re on the right monitor any individual’s coming to see you good no longer in view we were watching for the bathroom so we desired in here by mistake it can be big it’s Ryan’s largest lingerie part I realize like that is the quandary we have now 8 priests placing across the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but cost we’re speakme countrywide scandal Oh the heels appear the equal right very first thing do not panic we’re on this factor let’s try to get out of it okay Billy i would like you on point for the clearly father D can you take up the back let’s go and hold it quiet I damage any one possibly i’m simply going crazy laundry part goodbye i don’t feel this sauce you’re taking a leisure photo for the correct you go on factor but anticipate this form of thing of the priest best two weeks ago a good phase is to send me off to some bloody cat oh is not it i am gonna make you a promise sooner or later you and i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it’s a little bit bit only a reminiscence are you able to maintain onto that idea okay can you do that for me as well it can be my stupid fault for messing with the brass go forward slowly sluggish you down listen we’re a crew stick collectively there is the exit thank God God seem at all these people they definitely see us popping out perhaps if you actually buy some Underpants then it wouldn’t seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants attention who’s bought essentially the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s received the most boring voice this set had been you asking for a dramatic entertaining voice no Newton said of boring he desired an boring voice if that’s the case you ought to excuse me for my impetuous interruption hear that is what we will do what is going on on I consider Ted has a plan no I imply most likely anyway after the laundry section ladies and gentlemen might you please deliver your purchases to the checker because the steward selected garments what’s incorrect Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve received to do with Christmas oh honey how there’s nothing in the Catholic scandal supplement about the lingerie episode I feel we acquired away with it hello Craig Holland parochial residence father Ted Crilley speakme k Tom McCaskill right here whats up Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming back when things have died down slightly I would ought to head off to South america for a whilst you recognize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy for that reason I washed it just let me discontinue you proper like correct there tom that money used to be just resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a huge want forgetting the lad Joseph’s difficulty the opposite day we would such as you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you’re not severe i’m lethal serious Oh God i don’t think worthwhile once I consider of all of the different priests who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but a very difficult hindrance and avert yet another rip-off when the church father bully in the rest of the boys will drop the award over to you the next day oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any style of money prize with – i am afraid now not tag however somewhat strapped for cash here at the second anyway see you quickly doodle wonderful information you’re getting married common is that a joke yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical struggle without doubt exceptional it can be not every day you went into Wars who’re no father you can’t have an award why no longer award a massive sure there you’re great balls all image doodles take a image Oh Ted am i able to stay up day after today night time to observe the dreaded movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a scary film you had to sleep in my bed i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a mind of its own long past mad if that is not horrifying I do not know what’s don’t it is a kid’s film when you cannot care for that how on the earth are you gonna be in a position to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills all people is that’s that what this one’s about sure if you wish to make reward your possess age this movie the present day gossip or without difficulty have somewhat of fun oh please chat again and converse to veggies you wish to have to understand right I acquired the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed outstanding I feel i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few pleased to get this award you are aware of it let me no longer be one of the vital top priests within the country after I get my award all correct zero pronouncing there i’m some of the prime intent within the country did you hear that I stated there only a 2d in the past I did yeah well it is now not earlier than time father I continually proposal you have been one of the vital first-class clergymen within the country thank you very a lot mrs.Doyle one of the crucial excellent or perhaps the quality just right one mrs. Doyle actually would you say i am the quality priest within the country on the second you don’t leave out new country simply say so I truthfully won’t intellect i would say you perhaps the 2nd pleasant no it’s all proper i’m no longer the quality priest in the country i am honey the 2d first-rate there may be anyone better than me it seems that father I was just considering of these monks working very bad areas oh yes of path these lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is better than me proceed this i’m not the exceptional i am just 2d best it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize well i’m so sorry surely i am just an fool undoubtedly I cannot even say Mass safely father don’t take it again that’s what you mentioned you stated i am no longer the high-quality peaceable within the nation that is best just want to recognize the place I stand without doubt now i’m gonna must jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan requested me for early retirement and maybe after I go which you could ask the opposite priest father Peter ideal the best priest to come here and you could work for him due to the fact that he is definitely this kind of nice priest welcome to priest chat bank if you are beneath 18 or no longer a priest please cling up now you desire to communicate concerning the Pope’s seek advice from to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad but now not being competent to determine exactly why say yes no wait yes yes hey whats up no is that being vaguely unhappy however no longer being equipped to determine exactly why no this is easy methods to spoil the news of a loss of life we have been just speakme about methods I say it’s first-class to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he’s not coming again get used to it sure but frequently a few little recommendations support like consider how your husband used to love a good snort my predicament is that I should be on top of the world on account that i have been given an award but the fact of the topic is that i know this is a priest best line you recognize why Wow there at the same time you have been out to your walk we had a phone name I suppose you had been presupposed to do a funeral today utterly forgot about it’s all proper father McGuire said he three it is no use i am just so occupied with Christmas I can’t sleep do you on no account get to sleep like that i’m just writing my speech for tomorrow god it is superb thus far what do you place in speeches you told me thank each person wouldn’t you no no longer in this case Dougal you see I received this war to my possess initiative and rough graft so there may be no one else to thank him besides myself that is a good notion i will thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is simply the notes quite see right here for example it is a record of people who’ve relatively fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he relatively wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he’s on the wrong list he must be beneath Liars alternatively than twats last I got a chance to shine to stand out to be recognized I appreciate it no dude I imply cognizance of my my knowledge of my achievements all correct and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my tremendous second I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s significant phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he is on vacations well i’ll disturb them anyway i’m gonna try and get to sleep one more time that is little need Dooley she’s a good way to go to sleep simply exceptional empty your head of all pots i will supply it a go however I quite do not exquisite a lot of humans in the stable Ted it can be the one thing I did not expect do study to and open your presents I fully forgot concerning the presents first the calendar no offers I acquired any better than this you understand I used to be racking my brains seeking to consider what would mrs.Doyle really love for Christmas and then I thought whatever to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we cannot live in the dead of night a long time you’ve got made your final cup of tea in this apartment if i know people the way I suppose I do she fairly loves that reward how do you know i know don’t consider I had observed those little pointers he left lying around the position gift present gift reward present reward rack off who could that be sermon is just not till – I’ve neglected the ceremony hover no no certainly not yeah have not modified a bit yeah rascal and also you seem at you you have not converted both what well what about the hair all right from the hair it is a it is a it can be a different shape colour colour colour of direction it it was once red brown blonde howdy there whats up there are you again I consider you told me all about it no why did you stick the ancient name and deal with within the the booklet you recognize especially the title very important that you simply write the title very very evidently i would love to inform however I are not able to relatively write you see one time final yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the near of the controls handwriting was once utterly severed father are you not going to introduce me to the brand new father all right rate of course absolutely i will inform you what see if which you can bet Godfather certain it could be some thing still dog supply us a are attempting father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i’ll give you a clue ken Sweeney for his or her Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry massive begging them for their Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie estate bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke however they’re Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam extra nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest sure is that particularly did she get ah come on Ted you knew already yes sure of direction I used to be simply amazed that she acquired it in Wow good underneath an hour well done mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they’re now Todd just right old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you fixed for a cup of tea Todd i might you put together a sizzling toddy Todd do you wish to have Todd anything at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted well Todd it is now not rather a ceremony i am certain to be just a very undeniable simple affair sure grandchildren about me i’ll be looking sir also won’t be ok so Oh appear dad what you love he knows salivate for them tell you i’ll alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i don’t have got to get into it nevertheless it just we want you there on the day you already know a 2nd or two and i’m day that is here any one organized around right here do not talk to me you don’t talk that situation over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track displays itself via the counter rhythm which is there be aware of what you able ok i know first tougher tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hello i am Ted and that is doogal there i am doback he’s useless he is over his dead father why does he want you with the aid of the stage he he ought to be me dick man good day i am clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thank you very so much Ted have you ever ever notion about doing any television work had crossed my intellect leave out jeren agent no i’m going to inform you what I give this ad name nonetheless wonders for me well then correct thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks just right afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for exceptional achievement this yr’s winner is anyone who’s overcome controversy prior to now when rumors of economic irregularities no no no however following a thorough investigation no formal fees have been ever made once more so he was simply resting in my account authorities had been stressed via what they saw as weird irregularities in his debts however he’s overcome all these individual setbacks oh come this yr’s golden cleric females and gents I provide you with father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i am on it instead of sticking with scores in public good good good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces right here today some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the final chuckle and quite a lot of persons who relatively failed to consider I had it in me to come to be a great priest well what I say to these men and women is seem at me now however eventually I got out of his headlock and now where are you father a person hunter or offer you some pygmies in the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a top priest he thought it could be a great proposal first-class fun to pour water on this young rookies mattress however of path 30 years later the smile has been very so much swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him good executed first-class speech Ted it went well did not it tell me you as wandering round in there for three hours sure it is ireland’s biggest land resection I understand all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and loosen up sir we’re gonna check out the tea master how does it work Ted what am i able to no longer simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely leave the cup there slide them any such cartridges right here when the teachers comes available in the market snatch so that is splendid sure good understand that I’ve won an award i can hardly ever be seen consuming tea that’s just been made in a pot the notion it just seems too good to be genuine watch the catch i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you might have an tremendously boring voice I was just announcing what is the capture sorry didn’t get it there both I imply enthusiastic about the tea master factor there ought to be some style of a seize oh oh there’s no capture no watch this see superb father there may be any one there there is without a doubt any person like their father what do woman put on that track well on the song that makes father Jack stand up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to stand up and up within the music comes up equal-same it is only a bit fun sure well we we style of idea father Jack was jumping via that window slightly too most of the time that’s why we put in the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you suppose of us all of us have a seem on the Christmas movie yeah and now a special improved Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh satisfactory mass god I just remembered I imagined to be doing anything terribly essential and the item I was once supposed to be doing I just remembered I’ve bought a telephone this fella on loss of life row that I befriended recently since it is been performed tomorrow for mass homicide so you understand i might say he is lovely low on the moment God Almighty did you do it oh sure no yes do you need any support speakme to him because he might get hysterical and crying and i might say pull your self together man all right there may be been a giant accident so I will have to go to I’ve got a cellphone call there where you have been all somewhere else correct so we’re now not off saw father anxious you’re coming too I would get you carry ah no residence there was once a nice mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a large fan of his he gives good mass but he rather he particularly knows the best way to work the altar seem at that chalice work easy oh good we’d be off so see you quickly bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I obtained my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with further dinosaurs good that was once a fantastic day God was once lifeless it used to be a great day amazing fun i would say it was one of the vital excellent Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all right hey so was i who’s that fellow huh dogs I failed to invite him did you yeah no that’s right I barred you from inviting persons to the condo after that tramp stayed for per week wasn’t a tramp Ted that was the high Minister of France no dooble he just lied to you Todd sincere i don’t keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he might be he had a nickname like you know Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway do not worry about it h ere you be long past in the morning look at you lying in there like a giant agent well here all of us should not all the plenty just like within the old days they take into account the entire fun we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the giant oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories consider the time you old Mitch go to the diner live performance i couldn’t go considering I used to be recuperating from a enormous vehicle accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that reward ship there got Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inner thigh the run the entire approach up to me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half earlier 1:00 in the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering round generally I can not sleep and i desire a excellent stroll to calm myself down you do not mind do you no no you do that every one right so excellent night time and blissful Christmas Ted God Almighty – i am not going out of this room unless the next day to come i don’t danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them flip off the light earlier than you come up need you and please don’t watch why Mackenzie panic it can be a hazardous however my god the fact I suppose it can be secure to assert the burglar is undoubtedly in the avenue of nightmares Duggal I absolutely told you to not watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t watching a Ted I simply got here down to hold the milk round hey your holiness president Robinson well performed on everything mr.De Niro good well I adored you in Godfather too he is not going to be doing any further burglaries the place he is going Oh the place’s that good let prison sure of course sorry but sergeant tell me how did you know a lot about me i’m desirous about that myself anxious if that’s your actual name I already advised you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is this off the report of path good I wasn’t selridge just a few days in the past received talking to this ancient priest in a bar he was once a bit cagey in the beginning however just a few pictures of JD and he was singing like a chook the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient buddy of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank lengthy into the night time me pay in a direction him spilling his guts on a subjective asserting a further tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns significant furry yes the longer he talked the better at intestine and ancient-timer named Jack Hackett and a negative unusual fool boy after that all I wanted used to be the correct costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s a long story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom commonplace run-of-the-mill cleric then I received first prize within the country west meet priest to the ear competition the bet it went to my head after that I started hitting the altar wine too hard going easy on men and women in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker masses all I wanted was trophies and prizes however the person who particularly acquired me rough used to be the golden cleric no no no today what I used to be going to ask you as you are a priest I mean why did you take the other priests clothes i don’t know it used to be simply going our way good I’ve got dangerous information for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the file i am utilising that as evidence in opposition to you ah that is fully unfair take them away thanks sergeant they may be profitable this father you both should be very proud of yourselves no longer one of these dangerous day in any case i might say it can be a useful one thing you have pricey mrs.Doyle huh state-of-the-art technology it’s exquisite is not it it is indeed and thanks once more father it’s the first-rate Christmas gift ever what concerning the tea laptop oh yes i’ll go on crank it up right now no i do not just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna ought to get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i like the whole tea making thing you understand the playful splash of the tea is it hits the bottom of the copper trail of including the milk and watching it settle for a moment before it filters slowly down through the cup altering the color from darkish brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a huge cup of tea oh simply believe father don’t forget the entire great times we had once I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs.Doyle T out of laptop is like milk out of a youngster’s bottle the youngster does not need one other bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a fine common cup of tea correct your father and don’t you worry it’ll be tremendous superb bloody hell do you know Dougal priesthood it’s now not about awards and glamour it can be about tough graft and attending to the non secular needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that would were me rather that explains so much Google i don’t think he picked up on what I supposed there I would were a bad priest you realize i am gonna be lazy smug now not giving a damn about the wants of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she wants you to do one of those remembrance masses i am nothing you understand doodle i am sorry about my recent silliness you recognize you deserve this award as so much as me particularly thanks Ted that’s fine thanks very much just leave it oh you wager higher I think yeah and my name on the plaque we won’t bother changing that all correct I i do know the awards mine and that’s good enough for me yeah there’s no gonna have a bat you already know help me relax after the day ok what are you doing simply having a bit of of a laugh .

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

You already know i’ve been doing various pondering lately in well I I just don’t believe i’m cut out for the priesthood I think it is time you and that i faced facts you want us as priests in the nation if now not the first-rate safe haven sub percent what i’m speakme about don’t you yeah yeah I believe I do i’ll be off then come here right here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you capable right here we go one two three howdy Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good once more yeah wait we get this kind of tender again again go on again Duggal simply sit down Oh Ted am i able to open a further window and the arrival calendar first very well then however consider you’re simply allowed to open latest window Oh Shepherd great stuff oh god Ted cannot open the opposite two no Dugan Ted I can not wait to find out what’s behind tomorrow’s one I bet it is a donkey or anything all correct so you’ve gotten transformed out of your initial prediction places of work once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go the place do you get these matters you realize scorching i’d say it can be mainly just a lovely angel what would you say is in the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows yes woman’s neck oh sure Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar unless the following day one other yr long past it’s rough to feel isn’t it I imply what’s it all about Dugan well it would not relatively have a narrative Ted you comprehend it’s practically football and stuff no dougela I mean lifestyles you already know your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-approach ticket to Palookaville you already know I regarded within the replicate this morning and i noticed a middle-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do lady oh yes of direction it is just that I acquired a Christmas card the previous day from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a 12 months and 2000 and guidelines exquisite how does he manipulate that I do not know a lap dancing or whatever and then there is father buzz Dolan in Canada he is his own exhibit on cable and that i hear he’s landed a significant section in the new Bond movie all began for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be quality to be noted are you aware what i would love about being noted people listen to you they hearken to what you have to say and i’ve a lot to say what about when you are doing all of your sermons Ted folks take heed to you then don’t they i do know dude I imply individuals I appreciate you see you simply talked right across me there even you don’t hearken to me that is not reasonable well I do are you looking ahead to Christmas i am indeed mrs.Doyle a great quiet Christmas that’s what I need a high-quality quiet Christmas with no exceptional incidents or unusual individuals turning up that will go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet common everyday Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s condominium no ed that’s it simply down the avenue oh thanks very a lot who used to be that Ted simply any one we’re looking for Riley’s residence she had a child together with her for a moment I thought a person had just left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you assume what would have happened if she’d left it with us sure we’ve been watching after and everything and coming into all types of hilarious jams the entire factor would were very very humorous well it would not have been that humorous Ted simply no and the drinks simply come out right here now you’ve got already punched in your choice from milk and sugar so all of the work is taken out of it even the ultra-modern girl plenty of time for scheming sympathy glitch and can entry espresso scorching chocolate or Horlicks yes tea master particularly takes the distress out of constructing tea good what do you feel possibly I just like the distress for mrs.Doyle good inspiration Ted fragrance is the superb lady reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented perfume so you don’t ought to put any notion into whatsoever I used to stick Jack ultimately oh they’ve bought this exceptional pressed head the place that you would be able to put humans who do not wish to go searching they are able to just stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there different individuals there are quite a lot of individuals lifeless you can be pleasant fragrance you think you would be capable to scent it very exactly how we all know good we’re within the Hindi placing around near ladies secret things it’s justice seem this way oh no more Underpants I mean I did not need so many forms of Underpants huh I mean what did the parade round of them looking in mirrors all the time we obtained slightly lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit misplaced here I think that’s why you are here as good misplaced sure right yeah that’s it that is it examples you understand how over here it is eire’s largest Landry section I realize yeah I read that somewhere the quality suggestions for us to get out of right here as quickly as possible you already know for clergymen striking across the freely part sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this manner we have now been here I do not forget these brows from the first time circular all of them look the equal to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay many times lonely factor to reduce the physical activities and extra-strength straps in the event you move by a bra with a center art support and single pilot and the flight lace outline then I consider we’re on the right monitor any individual’s coming to see you good no longer in view we were watching for the bathroom so we desired in here by mistake it can be big it’s Ryan’s largest lingerie part I realize like that is the quandary we have now 8 priests placing across the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but cost we’re speakme countrywide scandal Oh the heels appear the equal right very first thing do not panic we’re on this factor let’s try to get out of it okay Billy i would like you on point for the clearly father D can you take up the back let’s go and hold it quiet I damage any one possibly i’m simply going crazy laundry part goodbye i don’t feel this sauce you’re taking a leisure photo for the correct you go on factor but anticipate this form of thing of the priest best two weeks ago a good phase is to send me off to some bloody cat oh is not it i am gonna make you a promise sooner or later you and i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it’s a little bit bit only a reminiscence are you able to maintain onto that idea okay can you do that for me as well it can be my stupid fault for messing with the brass go forward slowly sluggish you down listen we’re a crew stick collectively there is the exit thank God God seem at all these people they definitely see us popping out perhaps if you actually buy some Underpants then it wouldn’t seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants attention who’s bought essentially the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s received the most boring voice this set had been you asking for a dramatic entertaining voice no Newton said of boring he desired an boring voice if that’s the case you ought to excuse me for my impetuous interruption hear that is what we will do what is going on on I consider Ted has a plan no I imply most likely anyway after the laundry section ladies and gentlemen might you please deliver your purchases to the checker because the steward selected garments what’s incorrect Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve received to do with Christmas oh honey how there’s nothing in the Catholic scandal supplement about the lingerie episode I feel we acquired away with it hello Craig Holland parochial residence father Ted Crilley speakme k Tom McCaskill right here whats up Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming back when things have died down slightly I would ought to head off to South america for a whilst you recognize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy for that reason I washed it just let me discontinue you proper like correct there tom that money used to be just resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a huge want forgetting the lad Joseph’s difficulty the opposite day we would such as you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you’re not severe i’m lethal serious Oh God i don’t think worthwhile once I consider of all of the different priests who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but a very difficult hindrance and avert yet another rip-off when the church father bully in the rest of the boys will drop the award over to you the next day oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any style of money prize with – i am afraid now not tag however somewhat strapped for cash here at the second anyway see you quickly doodle wonderful information you’re getting married common is that a joke yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical struggle without doubt exceptional it can be not every day you went into Wars who’re no father you can’t have an award why no longer award a massive sure there you’re great balls all image doodles take a image Oh Ted am i able to stay up day after today night time to observe the dreaded movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a scary film you had to sleep in my bed i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a mind of its own long past mad if that is not horrifying I do not know what’s don’t it is a kid’s film when you cannot care for that how on the earth are you gonna be in a position to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills all people is that’s that what this one’s about sure if you wish to make reward your possess age this movie the present day gossip or without difficulty have somewhat of fun oh please chat again and converse to veggies you wish to have to understand right I acquired the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed outstanding I feel i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few pleased to get this award you are aware of it let me no longer be one of the vital top priests within the country after I get my award all correct zero pronouncing there i’m some of the prime intent within the country did you hear that I stated there only a 2d in the past I did yeah well it is now not earlier than time father I continually proposal you have been one of the vital first-class clergymen within the country thank you very a lot mrs.Doyle one of the crucial excellent or perhaps the quality just right one mrs. Doyle actually would you say i am the quality priest within the country on the second you don’t leave out new country simply say so I truthfully won’t intellect i would say you perhaps the 2nd pleasant no it’s all proper i’m no longer the quality priest in the country i am honey the 2d first-rate there may be anyone better than me it seems that father I was just considering of these monks working very bad areas oh yes of path these lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is better than me proceed this i’m not the exceptional i am just 2d best it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize well i’m so sorry surely i am just an fool undoubtedly I cannot even say Mass safely father don’t take it again that’s what you mentioned you stated i am no longer the high-quality peaceable within the nation that is best just want to recognize the place I stand without doubt now i’m gonna must jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan requested me for early retirement and maybe after I go which you could ask the opposite priest father Peter ideal the best priest to come here and you could work for him due to the fact that he is definitely this kind of nice priest welcome to priest chat bank if you are beneath 18 or no longer a priest please cling up now you desire to communicate concerning the Pope’s seek advice from to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad but now not being competent to determine exactly why say yes no wait yes yes hey whats up no is that being vaguely unhappy however no longer being equipped to determine exactly why no this is easy methods to spoil the news of a loss of life we have been just speakme about methods I say it’s first-class to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he’s not coming again get used to it sure but frequently a few little recommendations support like consider how your husband used to love a good snort my predicament is that I should be on top of the world on account that i have been given an award but the fact of the topic is that i know this is a priest best line you recognize why Wow there at the same time you have been out to your walk we had a phone name I suppose you had been presupposed to do a funeral today utterly forgot about it’s all proper father McGuire said he three it is no use i am just so occupied with Christmas I can’t sleep do you on no account get to sleep like that i’m just writing my speech for tomorrow god it is superb thus far what do you place in speeches you told me thank each person wouldn’t you no no longer in this case Dougal you see I received this war to my possess initiative and rough graft so there may be no one else to thank him besides myself that is a good notion i will thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is simply the notes quite see right here for example it is a record of people who’ve relatively fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he relatively wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he’s on the wrong list he must be beneath Liars alternatively than twats last I got a chance to shine to stand out to be recognized I appreciate it no dude I imply cognizance of my my knowledge of my achievements all correct and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my tremendous second I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s significant phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he is on vacations well i’ll disturb them anyway i’m gonna try and get to sleep one more time that is little need Dooley she’s a good way to go to sleep simply exceptional empty your head of all pots i will supply it a go however I quite do not exquisite a lot of humans in the stable Ted it can be the one thing I did not expect do study to and open your presents I fully forgot concerning the presents first the calendar no offers I acquired any better than this you understand I used to be racking my brains seeking to consider what would mrs.Doyle really love for Christmas and then I thought whatever to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we cannot live in the dead of night a long time you’ve got made your final cup of tea in this apartment if i know people the way I suppose I do she fairly loves that reward how do you know i know don’t consider I had observed those little pointers he left lying around the position gift present gift reward present reward rack off who could that be sermon is just not till – I’ve neglected the ceremony hover no no certainly not yeah have not modified a bit yeah rascal and also you seem at you you have not converted both what well what about the hair all right from the hair it is a it is a it can be a different shape colour colour colour of direction it it was once red brown blonde howdy there whats up there are you again I consider you told me all about it no why did you stick the ancient name and deal with within the the booklet you recognize especially the title very important that you simply write the title very very evidently i would love to inform however I are not able to relatively write you see one time final yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the near of the controls handwriting was once utterly severed father are you not going to introduce me to the brand new father all right rate of course absolutely i will inform you what see if which you can bet Godfather certain it could be some thing still dog supply us a are attempting father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i’ll give you a clue ken Sweeney for his or her Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry massive begging them for their Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie estate bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke however they’re Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam extra nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest sure is that particularly did she get ah come on Ted you knew already yes sure of direction I used to be simply amazed that she acquired it in Wow good underneath an hour well done mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they’re now Todd just right old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you fixed for a cup of tea Todd i might you put together a sizzling toddy Todd do you wish to have Todd anything at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted well Todd it is now not rather a ceremony i am certain to be just a very undeniable simple affair sure grandchildren about me i’ll be looking sir also won’t be ok so Oh appear dad what you love he knows salivate for them tell you i’ll alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i don’t have got to get into it nevertheless it just we want you there on the day you already know a 2nd or two and i’m day that is here any one organized around right here do not talk to me you don’t talk that situation over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track displays itself via the counter rhythm which is there be aware of what you able ok i know first tougher tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hello i am Ted and that is doogal there i am doback he’s useless he is over his dead father why does he want you with the aid of the stage he he ought to be me dick man good day i am clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thank you very so much Ted have you ever ever notion about doing any television work had crossed my intellect leave out jeren agent no i’m going to inform you what I give this ad name nonetheless wonders for me well then correct thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks just right afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for exceptional achievement this yr’s winner is anyone who’s overcome controversy prior to now when rumors of economic irregularities no no no however following a thorough investigation no formal fees have been ever made once more so he was simply resting in my account authorities had been stressed via what they saw as weird irregularities in his debts however he’s overcome all these individual setbacks oh come this yr’s golden cleric females and gents I provide you with father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i am on it instead of sticking with scores in public good good good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces right here today some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the final chuckle and quite a lot of persons who relatively failed to consider I had it in me to come to be a great priest well what I say to these men and women is seem at me now however eventually I got out of his headlock and now where are you father a person hunter or offer you some pygmies in the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a top priest he thought it could be a great proposal first-class fun to pour water on this young rookies mattress however of path 30 years later the smile has been very so much swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him good executed first-class speech Ted it went well did not it tell me you as wandering round in there for three hours sure it is ireland’s biggest land resection I understand all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and loosen up sir we’re gonna check out the tea master how does it work Ted what am i able to no longer simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely leave the cup there slide them any such cartridges right here when the teachers comes available in the market snatch so that is splendid sure good understand that I’ve won an award i can hardly ever be seen consuming tea that’s just been made in a pot the notion it just seems too good to be genuine watch the catch i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you might have an tremendously boring voice I was just announcing what is the capture sorry didn’t get it there both I imply enthusiastic about the tea master factor there ought to be some style of a seize oh oh there’s no capture no watch this see superb father there may be any one there there is without a doubt any person like their father what do woman put on that track well on the song that makes father Jack stand up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to stand up and up within the music comes up equal-same it is only a bit fun sure well we we style of idea father Jack was jumping via that window slightly too most of the time that’s why we put in the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you suppose of us all of us have a seem on the Christmas movie yeah and now a special improved Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh satisfactory mass god I just remembered I imagined to be doing anything terribly essential and the item I was once supposed to be doing I just remembered I’ve bought a telephone this fella on loss of life row that I befriended recently since it is been performed tomorrow for mass homicide so you understand i might say he is lovely low on the moment God Almighty did you do it oh sure no yes do you need any support speakme to him because he might get hysterical and crying and i might say pull your self together man all right there may be been a giant accident so I will have to go to I’ve got a cellphone call there where you have been all somewhere else correct so we’re now not off saw father anxious you’re coming too I would get you carry ah no residence there was once a nice mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a large fan of his he gives good mass but he rather he particularly knows the best way to work the altar seem at that chalice work easy oh good we’d be off so see you quickly bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I obtained my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with further dinosaurs good that was once a fantastic day God was once lifeless it used to be a great day amazing fun i would say it was one of the vital excellent Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all right hey so was i who’s that fellow huh dogs I failed to invite him did you yeah no that’s right I barred you from inviting persons to the condo after that tramp stayed for per week wasn’t a tramp Ted that was the high Minister of France no dooble he just lied to you Todd sincere i don’t keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he might be he had a nickname like you know Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway do not worry about it h ere you be long past in the morning look at you lying in there like a giant agent well here all of us should not all the plenty just like within the old days they take into account the entire fun we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the giant oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories consider the time you old Mitch go to the diner live performance i couldn’t go considering I used to be recuperating from a enormous vehicle accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that reward ship there got Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inner thigh the run the entire approach up to me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half earlier 1:00 in the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering round generally I can not sleep and i desire a excellent stroll to calm myself down you do not mind do you no no you do that every one right so excellent night time and blissful Christmas Ted God Almighty – i am not going out of this room unless the next day to come i don’t danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them flip off the light earlier than you come up need you and please don’t watch why Mackenzie panic it can be a hazardous however my god the fact I suppose it can be secure to assert the burglar is undoubtedly in the avenue of nightmares Duggal I absolutely told you to not watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t watching a Ted I simply got here down to hold the milk round hey your holiness president Robinson well performed on everything mr.De Niro good well I adored you in Godfather too he is not going to be doing any further burglaries the place he is going Oh the place’s that good let prison sure of course sorry but sergeant tell me how did you know a lot about me i’m desirous about that myself anxious if that’s your actual name I already advised you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is this off the report of path good I wasn’t selridge just a few days in the past received talking to this ancient priest in a bar he was once a bit cagey in the beginning however just a few pictures of JD and he was singing like a chook the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient buddy of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank lengthy into the night time me pay in a direction him spilling his guts on a subjective asserting a further tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns significant furry yes the longer he talked the better at intestine and ancient-timer named Jack Hackett and a negative unusual fool boy after that all I wanted used to be the correct costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s a long story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom commonplace run-of-the-mill cleric then I received first prize within the country west meet priest to the ear competition the bet it went to my head after that I started hitting the altar wine too hard going easy on men and women in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker masses all I wanted was trophies and prizes however the person who particularly acquired me rough used to be the golden cleric no no no today what I used to be going to ask you as you are a priest I mean why did you take the other priests clothes i don’t know it used to be simply going our way good I’ve got dangerous information for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the file i am utilising that as evidence in opposition to you ah that is fully unfair take them away thanks sergeant they may be profitable this father you both should be very proud of yourselves no longer one of these dangerous day in any case i might say it can be a useful one thing you have pricey mrs.Doyle huh state-of-the-art technology it’s exquisite is not it it is indeed and thanks once more father it’s the first-rate Christmas gift ever what concerning the tea laptop oh yes i’ll go on crank it up right now no i do not just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna ought to get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i like the whole tea making thing you understand the playful splash of the tea is it hits the bottom of the copper trail of including the milk and watching it settle for a moment before it filters slowly down through the cup altering the color from darkish brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a huge cup of tea oh simply believe father don’t forget the entire great times we had once I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs.Doyle T out of laptop is like milk out of a youngster’s bottle the youngster does not need one other bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a fine common cup of tea correct your father and don’t you worry it’ll be tremendous superb bloody hell do you know Dougal priesthood it’s now not about awards and glamour it can be about tough graft and attending to the non secular needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that would were me rather that explains so much Google i don’t think he picked up on what I supposed there I would were a bad priest you realize i am gonna be lazy smug now not giving a damn about the wants of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she wants you to do one of those remembrance masses i am nothing you understand doodle i am sorry about my recent silliness you recognize you deserve this award as so much as me particularly thanks Ted that’s fine thanks very much just leave it oh you wager higher I think yeah and my name on the plaque we won’t bother changing that all correct I i do know the awards mine and that’s good enough for me yeah there’s no gonna have a bat you already know help me relax after the day ok what are you doing simply having a bit of of a laugh .

[eurotastic]

Eurovision reviews: Semi 2

When the obvious winner is in the big 5, the semis just feel a little weird. With semi 1, we have Portugal, who could win if the juries decide to wreck Italy’s score, but in semi 2 there is not a single winning candidate, which just makes it...I don’t want to call it pointless, but I’d definitely call it a weak semi. 

But you know that I’ll review every single song anyway, because I love every single second of this bullshit competition.

1: Serbia: Tijana Bogićević-In Too Deep

What a weird way to start off the night. This is pretty modern and cool, but it just can’t stand out whatsoever. Everyone will have forgotten about it by the fifth song or so. 

4/10

2: Austria: Nathan Trent-Running On Air

I hate Ed Sheeran. A lot. I’m not saying this song sounds exactly like him, but it’s the same genre, and I hate this genre more than anything. With that said, I can’t believe how much I actually like this. It might be the staging, which is fantastic, and really takes this basic, natural-sounding song to the next level.

6/10

3: Formeryugoslavianrepublicofmacedonia: Jana Burčeska-Dance Alone

The difference between a non-qualifier and a song that finishes last is the performance. In fact, many songs that have finished last through the years have been good songs, destroyed completely by a bad performance (I’m willing to bet that Iceland came last in semi 1, there were lots of worse songs but the performance is what sunk it). 

The formeryugoslavianrepublicofmacedonian song is actually one of the better pop songs this year, but as soon as i saw previews of the performance I knew it would have a really hard time qualifying. I hope I’m wrong, because the song is fire. 

7/10

4: Malta: Claudia Faniello-Breathlessly

Thank fucking god there are so few ballads tonight, after semi 1 I never wanna hear another ballad in my entire life. 

3/10

5: Romania: Ilinca ft. Alex Florea-Yodel It!

How does a human being come up with this concept? Did they write down random music genres on a dartboard to come up with this unholy genre combination? Why is it so catchy? Why do I like this? Who cares?

10/10

6: The Netherlands: OG3NE Lights and Shadows

This song basically exists under the assumption that these girls can make anything sounds amazing. Their vocal harmonies are fantastic, but the song is just a tired cliché, and that’s not enough. I’m sure their voices will sound great though.

4/10

7: Hungary: Joci Pápai-Origo

Not that the bar is raised very high to begin with, but this is definitely the best attempt at fusing rap and traditional music I’ve ever heard. It’s monotonous and somber, but it definitely works. Also, if you squint and turn your TV upside down, the singer kinda resembles Oscar Isaac. That’s a nice bonus.

7/10

8: Denmark: Anja-Where I Am

Denmark, which is my favorite third world country, hasn’t been to the grand final since 2014, and I find that way funnier than I should. It would be fun if they missed another final, but at the same time I almost think this singer deserves a little better. 

This song is just so fucking boring, but the juries might put it through based on a strong vocal performance. 

3/10

9: Ireland: Brendan Murray-Dying to Try

If this song was called Trying to Die i would probably enjoy it a lot more. It would make the staging fit the song even better, it could end with the hot air balloon exploding and killing little Brendan! I’d vote for that.

(EDIT: When I say “killing little Brendan”, I mean fake dying like Lady Gaga at the 2009 VMAs, you know, just for drama. I’m really sorry if it sounded like some kind of death threat!)

3/10

10: San Marino: Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson-Spirit of the Night

Who is this random american dude and who tricked him into singing with Valentina? Did Uncle Siegel lure him into a white van?

[Edit: I just found out that the “random american dude” has played the lead in a german musical about President Obama, and that’s the weirdest fucking thing I’ve heard all week. Now I just hear Obama’s voice whenever Jimmy sings.]

Most countries don’t let artists who fail in ESC represent them again, but San Marino isn’t most countries. Is it possible that Valentina is the only singer in the country, and they don’t have a choice but to send her? She’s actually a pretty fun performer, but i wish they’d finally give her a decent song, this is a dated mess (but a fun dated mess).

3/10

11: Croatia: Jacques Houdek-My Friend

I know schizofrenic isn’t the right word to describe this, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind. The way he switches between his Big Important Opera voice and his Boyband Voice is a trainwreck, his stupid fucking outfit is a trainwreck, the italian lyrics are stupid, and the fact that Croatia’s “Homophobe of the year” is singing this disaster in front of a goddamn double rainbow takes it to a new level of awful.

With that said, the grand final wouldn’t be complete without this catastrophe.

?/10 (can not be rated in any human number system)

12: Norway: JOWST-Grab The Moment

I can’t decide if I like this or not...It’s decent for radio but I’m not sure if it’s interesting enough for Eurovision. Probably not qualifying.

4/10

13: Switzerland: Timebelle-Apollo

This song is about as interesting as watching yellow paint dry, but at least the singer has the best eyebrows I’ve seen in a long time.

4/10

14: Belarus: Naviband-Story of My Life

Goddamn hippies. 

6/10 

15: Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov-Beautiful Mess

The only song from this semi that could end up in the top 3. Super modern. but I still feel like it’s more of a slow radio hit. 

7/10

16: Lithuania: Fusedmarc-Rain Of Revolution

I’m willing to say that this is the worst song of the year. It can’t even be compared to any human music genre on earth, it’s just aimless screaming over a bland instrumental that tries to be dramatic. It’s not even funny, I just hate it. 

0/10

17: Estonia: Koit Toome & Laura-Verona

When I first heard this song, I thought it was a mistake. A dated, boring mistake. However, after hearing it in rehearsals over and over it has definitely become a favorite of mine. 

I hear people are calling it an 80′s throwback, but I’d say it sounds more like swedish schlager from the early 2000s, production-wise. In fact, I think if this song had competed in Melfest in ~2003, it would have won, it’s schlager perfection. No matter how good I think it is though, the fact that it sounds dated will bring it down, but I hope it qualifies. Estonia deserves it after last year’s disaster.

9/10 

18: Israel: IMRI-I Feel Alive

I just really miss Golden Boy when I hear this song. Couldn’t they at least recycle some of the choreography? 

5/10