#anyway. I am never seeing him again 👍 I don’t think I would be able to recognise him if I saw him and that feels like peace | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lymtw · 2 months

Note

hello hello! i don’t know if you’re comfortable with writing this, but if so are you open to writing a toji x reader fic involving period sex? thank you!!! and p.s. i love your writing 😫❤️

A/N: Thank you for reading my works ☺️🫶🏼 I am totally comfortable writing this! I should really put up a post with my do's and don't's. I'll get to that as soon as I find the motivation 😃👍 Anyways, thank you for sending in this request 💙

| cw: period sex |

You don't like making a scene out of that time of the month when it comes to spending time with Toji. You don't like mentioning it to him, so whenever he wants to start removing clothes with you during that time, you always make up some excuse. You say you're not in the mood or that you're too tired or that you can help him out, but that's all, and thank god he never pushes it. He would rather take what you offer him or suck it up and bear the horniness in silence, than make you uncomfortable.

Toji knows the basics of basics of menstruation. He knows that you bleed out of your vagina for a few days, and that often times, it's an uncomfortable and painful time for your body. He knows that the fluctuations of your hormones brings on mood swings, and that you have to buy certain products to prevent you from getting blood everywhere.

"Ma," he calls, as soon as he walks through the door of your apartment. He's holding a bag of food in each of his hands. Food that you were craving and requested for him to pick up once he finished his job. Your door was unlocked so he knows you're not out, but you didn't answer him. He put the food down on the dining room table and went on to look for you. He didn't have to look too hard, because you were in your bedroom, the first room he checked.

"Doll?" He calls, again. "I brought the food you asked for. Don't you wanna eat?" He watches you from the doorway. You look down, very much so, and he knows there's something wrong because you answered him with the smallest shake of your head. He hates seeing you all curled up and seemingly lifeless like this. Your body is drowned by one of his hoodies and you're wearing your baggiest sweatpants. Though it looks comfortable, it's way too hot for you to be so covered up. He makes his way over to your bed and sits beside you. "What's up, mama? Why aren't you hungry, anymore?" He gently squeezes your hip a couple times, hoping maybe it'll make you turn to face him, but you don't. You stay curled up.

"My stomach hurts," you say, unsure of whether he heard you or not. All you know is that if he asked you to repeat yourself, you wouldn't out of frustration. You would just shake your head and go back to hurting in silence.

"Did you eat something bad?" He pauses, a small smile curling onto his lips as something else comes to mind. "Baby... have you eaten anything at all, today?" He knows sometimes you forget to eat because you get so distracted by everything else you have going on, and that pit in your stomach often makes you nauseous.

"No, it's not that. I'm on my period." You internally cringe at the use of the word. Despite the power behind being able to put up with this every single month, you can't help but feel fragile and weak at the thought of letting Toji in on it.

"Oh, doll... You should've told me this before. I would've showed up with much fuller hands." He lays on his side, and wraps his body around yours. His leg goes over yours and his hand goes beneath your hoodie and presses against your stomach. "So, your guts are mad that I didn't put a baby in you?" He says, into your back.

"Yeah, a bit," you say, thinking of the stomach clutching cramps you've had for the past couple hours.

"Damn, that's terrible. What about you, huh? Are you mad that I didn't put a baby in you?" He asks, a smile on his lips forming through the unserious question.

You can't deny that, occasionally, you've wondered what your DNA would look like mixed with Toji's in the form of a child. You always envision the cutest little boy with Toji's intense, green eyes and your beautiful hair, and Toji's sharp nose, and your pretty skin tone. You think of how much you would love him, and how you would take on that role of being a devoted and loving mother. You think of how attached you would become to the little munchkin, enough to assume that you would be the one crying on his first day of school, not your child.

"Of course not. I'm not ready to be a mom," you respond, lowly.

Toji would be lying if he said he didn't see himself having kids with you. He often imagines how you would look holding a baby girl that shares a mixture of his and your features. Part of him hopes that your graceful beauty shines, prominently, through those tiny features, but he also knows that it wouldn't be the end of the world if the child ended up looking more like him. To see you holding a mini him would heal something that runs deep in his soul. Regardless of whether your child looks like him or you or it's the perfect blend of both of you, he knows that he'll be begging to cradle them again and again, even if they are the reason he'll be losing sleep. He'll lunge towards them when they stumble and fall, he'll soothe them when they can't sleep, and he'll bear with the messiness and the unstable emotions.

"Good, 'cause..." he sighs and coils even tighter around you. You're starting to feel hot with all those heavy layers on and the additional source of heat that clings to you from behind. "I need to keep you to myself for a much longer while. I can't imagine sharing you with someone else." He smiles when you laugh quietly at the small poke offered to your stomach. "At least, not right now, 'kay?"

"Yeah, okay," you respond, genuinely glad that he feels the way he does. You don't feel ready to take that enormous step either.

"I know that means your periods will keep coming every month, but I can help you in any way you ask me to. You just have to let me know, mama." His voice conveys sincerity and concern. He's serious about you, but he can't stand being shut out like this on things that pertain to your wellbeing.

You wiggle out of his hold and flip over to face him. You smile at him as best you can, despite the storm you feel in your stomach.

"You look small, doll." He chuckles at the way you bring a sleeved hand towards his face. The sleeves of his hoodie are enormous and puffy around your arms.

"Yeah... your sweater was the only thing that was helping, earlier. I felt like the cramps were gonna kill me so I curled up in this because it smells like you."

His smile is so soft. He loves hearing that he was your best source of comfort while you were in pain. "Well, i'm here, now, so you can take that off and curl up with the real thing."

"Mm..." you drop your hand to his chest. "This is keeping me warm and it fits huge on me, so i'm comfortable."

"Come on. I'm warmer and I fit so much bigger on you than this." He grabs the material of his sweater and extends it away from your waist, before letting it go and watching it melt back into a bulky pile on you. "Yeah, this is nothing compared to me, doll. When i'm on top of you, you completely disappear."

You sigh, as if he isn't tempting you at all, but you can already picture the warmth of his body heat and it sounds absolutely divine. "Fine, fine," you grumble, sitting up to pull off the enormous blanket you had been wearing for the past three hours and tossing it towards the end of your bed.

"So, that's why you didn't wanna take it off?" He's no better than the strangers who ogle your body when he takes you out for a date night. Your chest is holding his attention like a puppy with its favorite toy.

"Told you I was comfortable," you say, fixing the twisted strap of your bra before laying back down.

"Did you not want me to see you like this?" He asks, feeling the bare skin of your waist beneath his palm.

"I just feel really gross, Toji. I showered twice and I still feel like I stink, my skin isn't clear, and my body hurts. I never want you to see me this way, but I can't stay away from you every time I go through this."

He sees this as the perfect moment for him to become your heat radiating weighted blanket, and he seizes the opportunity, splaying over you like a net before contracting his limbs around you. He really is bigger than that hoodie with the way he makes your entire body vanish beneath his.

"This..." you laugh, the sound coming out a little choppy due to the newly added weight. "...is much better," you say, your voice a little strained.

"Listen," he says. What he wants to say to you is really important, and he needs you to absorb the information as clearly as possible, so he thinks it's best if his lips are right beneath your ear, just so you don't miss a word he says. "You smell reallyyy good, but you shouldn't be scrubbing your skin raw with too many showers. Also, I didn't even notice the little pimples on your skin 'til you pointed them out. Not that it matters to me, but your skin will clear up in a couple days." He grins at the little giggles that leave you and the slight shake of your shoulders that accompany the sound. "And about the pain... just tell me what you need and I'll get it for you. Anything but a heating pad, because I like whaling on you like this." He pulls away and takes note of the beaming smile on your face. "You heard all of that, right?" He asks, making sure you're not just letting his words go over your head.

"Mhm." You hum, in response. Your hands cup his jaw and pull him closer to you. You pause when he's mere centimeters away from you and just look up at him, adoration clear in your eyes. His gaze flits between your eyes and your lips. You've always been so enticing and appealing to him, regardless of the nonsensical remarks you make about yourself. Toji has every intention of proving that he'll love you the same all the time. This time of the month is no exception.

With a lick to his bottom lip, he takes the leap and kisses you first. You smile as his lips move slowly and gently in tandem with yours. You feel a lot better with Toji around. It feels like he actually melted away your cramps with his presence. You can enjoy him because the pain in your stomach isn't as intense anymore.

He can feel the change in pace of your affection. You're kissing him faster, your hands are balling up the back of his shirt, and your breathing is getting heavier. He decides to take it step further and slides his hands beneath the cups of your bra.

"Does that hurt?" He asks, knowing that it's possible that your breasts feel tender.

"Not at all. Please, keep going. You can even squeeze a little harder," you say, a small laugh following.

"Alright, baby. You wanna take your bra off so I can get in there real good?"

You're a little nervous about where this is headed. You can feel the neediness growing between your thighs, and him touching your breasts like that is only fueling the flame. You don't know if he's innocently trying to soothe the tenderness that vanished a day before the waterfall of blood began or if he's just trying to cop a feel. All you know is that it feels good and that it's a risky decision to take your bra off even if you've already decided to remove it.

"Yeah, I'll take it off," you say, using your elbows to assist you in sitting up. He sits back on his knees as you reach behind you, towards the clasps of your bra. You take a little longer when you notice how he's staring at your chest in anticipation, practically hypnotized as he waits for you to free your tits. You swear you saw his tongue peek out to lick his bottom lip. Those naturally bright eyes of his are dark, the color almost entirely swallowed whole by his enlarged pupils. You have to try not to laugh at how strong his focus is as the cups slide down your chest and the strap ride down your arm.

"Fuuuck, look at you." He's practically drooling as he reaches his hand out to touch. He instantly feels the warmth and softness of your right breast engulf his hand. "You've got a really pretty body, doll. You know I love taking care of it," he purrs, crawling back onto you. You're pushed back onto the bed. Your head falls into the pillows, and you're instantly surrounded by Toji. He leans down, his lips brushing over your jaw while his hands busy themselves with your breasts. "You can't scare me off with a little bit of blood, pretty girl. You can't scare me off at all," he murmurs, letting his lips roam towards your neck. He rolls your buds between his fingers, smirking at the way you shudder at the more intense stimulation. "That feel good?" He asks, hearing the low hums coming from you.

"Mhm... it does." Your cunt throbs with need as he continues tweaking your nipples, brushing them with his thumbs, rolling them with index fingers before pressing them a little. He sucking on that sensitive spot on your neck, really putting in the work to make you want him, badly. "T-Toji..." you whimper.

"Yeah, I know, sweet girl. Just wanna help you feel better." A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest at the feeling of you squeezing your thighs around his waist, chasing friction for your needy cunt. "Need some help with that? Want me to rub your little clit?"

You're too distracted by the pleasure you derive from grinding against his lower abdomen to notice his hand leaving one of your breasts and trailing down your stomach. Just as his fingers go beneath the waistband of your sweatpants, you snap out of your daze.

"No, wait- That's dirty," you say, scooting backwards.

"What are you talking about?" He asks, rhetorically. "It's a part of you. I don't care if any part of me gets covered in your blood."

You look away from him, flustered by his admission. You've never allowed him to touch you down there while you're on your period. This might have been the first time you've directly told him about it, too, so before then, he was just left to assume.

"I'm not a pea brained little boy, and you're not gross for this, baby. Just let me help you feel better."

You contemplate it for a few seconds. You've never done it like this before. The mess would be extreme. You'll be overthinking the things that run through his mind the entire time. Would you even be capable of getting into the mindset necessary to enjoy it when you're so worried about what Toji's thinking?

"Please, mama. Let me make you feel good." He runs a hand over your shin, hoping to soothe your nerves about this.

Your thoughts were starting to loop from how much you were overthinking it. A whole lot of 'what is Toji going to think?' and 'what if he can't go through with it after seeing all of it?' swirling around in your head. The thoughts were going nowhere but down, so you eventually just let yourself go. "Okay," you respond. "Can I just have a minute before we..." you raise your brows, allowing the gesture to finish your sentence.

"Yeah, of course. Take your time." He retracts his hand, allowing you to rise off the bed and make your way to the bathroom.

You're nervous. You don't know what would compel Toji to want to do something like this. You'll accept that it's for your benefit, but what does he gain from this apart from getting a blood covered dick? You know he won't put on a condom. He practically whines every time you tell him to either put a condom on or pull out. Neither of those options are viable for him, so he sweet talks you until you let him go in raw and cum inside you. He always thanks you for staying on birth control. His appreciation is genuine, too. It's not just some douchey speech where he says 'thank you for taking pills so I don't have to stress about cumming inside you'. It's a real, hug and kiss, 'I love you' deserving, appreciation.

You walk out of the bathroom after removing your menstrual product, wearing just the panties you had on and your darkest colored towel wrapped around your hips. That pair of underwear is not your prettiest pair, so you're fine with ruining them so that you don't ruin your carpet on your walk back to the bed.

"Everything alright?" Toji asks, eyes glued on you the second the bathroom door opened.

"Yeah. All good," you assure, sitting on the edge of the bed. You felt as anxious as you did the first time you and Toji had sex together. It was visible in the way you kept your eyes on your folded hands and how you toyed with your thumbs.

"Don't be nervous, baby. It's just like every other time." He smiles at you as you continue to stare at your lap. "You wanna put the towel down?"

"Oh, yeah." The second the towel is unwrapped from your lower body, you feel your anxiety double, knowing that the stain on your underwear is visible. He can see you crossing your legs to try and hide the stain. It's cute, but futile, since he'll see it much more clearly in a few seconds. You're unnecessarily straightening the corners, as if the towel isn't going to be moving around once things get going.

"Good. Now, lay down for me," Toji instructs, the words making your heart drop. "Need you to get all comfortable."

You hesitantly crawl onto the towel and lay on your stomach, concealing the stain on the front of your underwear.

"Flip over, doll. Wanna look at that pretty face." He can tell you're doing everything you can to hide what he expected and already saw. You flip onto your back and cross your legs. "Come on, pretty girl. Don't be embarrassed. It's just me."

You sigh and uncross your legs. Seconds go by and your cheeks are scorching, embarrassment coursing through you so fluidly, not knowing that the sight makes Toji feral. The color, the fact that you're free bleeding and the stain is growing as time goes by, the shame it brings you from not being able to stop it. It's all going straight to his dick. It was already straining in his boxers, but now it's throbbing.

"Good girl," he praises, running his hands up and down your thighs. You feel hot under his gaze. He's not making his attention to your stained underwear subtle at all. You just want to put a pillow over your head and let him do what he has planned.

"You're so cute," he says, reaching a hand towards the loud color between your thighs. He feels the warm wetness beneath his thumb as he tests the waters and rubs your clit through the scarlet tainted garment. He watches you squirm at the touch, your stomach rising and falling erratically at the stimulation. "So warm, baby." He can see the color adhering to the edges of his thumb as he continues to stroke your throbbing clit.

"Toji..." you gasp.

"Yeah, baby. I know."

The smallest pinch between your brows appears as the stimulation continues. It's slow enough to keep you comfortable, but you want more, so you attempt to trap his hand between your thighs so that you can get off on it.

"Open, doll. Keep your pretty legs open for me." He grins at the shuddered breath you release as you release his hand.

"P-Please, Toji. Please, more," you whimper, feeling yourself get closer and closer to your peak.

He's notices how the blood reached higher up the front of your underwear. Right over where he's rubbing your clit, the material is soggy beneath his fingers.

"I'm gonna make you cum all you want, but not like this," he says, abruptly stopping the movement of his fingers. He bows forward and kisses from your slightly heaving mid-center to your lower abdomen. The irony smell of your blood is heavier as he nears the elastic of your panties.

"Let's get these off," he murmurs, hooking his fingers into the garment. Your heart is racing all over again at the thought of him seeing the whole thing, uncensored. The uncontrollable drip of your blood, the messy aftermath of it being smeared and played with by his fingers over the thin barrier of your underwear. It's not presentable, compared to what he got from you every moment before this one. Far from it, but he proceeds with his fearless curiosity, dragging your panties down your hips and thighs, above your knees and swiftly down the rest of the way. He puts them down beside you on the towel before carrying on with you.

In no way would he ever try to embarrass you over something like this, especially since he knows you're more emotionally sensitive right now and even the smallest amount of teasing might hit a little harder than intended. He looks at the overload of red smeared all over your cunt, on the folds, lathered over and through your slit, and streaked over your inner thighs. All he can think about is how cursed you must feel every once in a while to have to go through this every month. He's not stupid enough to think alike to those men who say they would bear the pain a lot better than women and that it's nothing compared to being kicked in the balls. He would take the pain for you in a heartbeat, but since science hasn't progressed so far to make that option a reality, he'll do what he can to help you in other ways.

You watch, intently, as Toji observes what he's seen plenty of times before. You feel different from every one of those times, despite him telling you that this time will be no different. You feel like your heart is about to lurch from your chest because all he's doing is looking. You know it's unappealing. You would give yourself to him entirely clean in this moment if you could.

"I wanna bury my face in there so badly. You know that?" He's so hard at the sight. His dick is twitching at the thought of using his tongue to clean you up. "I'll make it up to you in a couple days," he says, working his constricting boxers off. "Gonna feast on you. Hold these pretty thighs back when you try to crush my skull."

You don't think you've ever felt so withheld by him. Here he is, about to fuck you during one of the few days you refrain from letting him touch you this way, while talking about how badly he wants to devour you. You wouldn't call it unfair of him to tease you with this promise, he just has no other choice. Normally, his mouth is the first thing he gives you when things are getting hot and heavy, but for now, he can only use that mouth to kiss you and verbalize his desire.

"Don't look so nervous, doll," he says, his voice honeyed and his touch gentle on your skin, like he's shooing away all those negative thoughts that threaten your ability to enjoy this. "This is me taking care of you."

Toji did a good job of making you forget that this wasn't just normal sex. You were fed assurance, visually, audibly, and tactically. The second he thrusted into you and felt your incredibly warm and wet walls cling around him, his gaze darted up to meet your eyes. He looked back down for a split second when his hips pulled back, just to see the way you coated his shaft.

He understands that this is intense for you, that you're presenting yourself in a vulnerable state to him, but he's determined to make you understand that he will always try for you. It comes down to him knowing your wants and needs, and when they aren't so transparent, he counts on you to trustfully tell him about the things he can't openly assume.

He's overly generous with your pleasure, going on and on for you, chasing your orgasms with no intention of stopping until you tell him you've had enough. "Come on..." he groans, a deep chuckle following when he sees the way your arms are thrown over your face. "Come on, doll. Give me some attention." He's saying this because he's about to cum, again. He wants to look at you as he spews another load into you. He wants to see the expression on your face when you feel his cum overfill you, again. You lift your arms above your head and expose the way your chest heaves even more to him, but more importantly, the weary and glassy eyes he loves so much.

"Yeah, fuck... Just give me those eyes for a while, gorgeous." He's panting and his hips are stuttering as he stares you down, his lust-filled gaze giving you the illusion of being pressed into the mattress. One hand splays over your waist while the other focuses on nudging at your clit.

The added stimulation makes you jolt beneath his touch. It's heavenly and you want more, and you're right there. "F-Fuck... Fuck, please... Please!" you beg, feeling like you're melting beneath his touch. Your nails dig into the pillow beneath your head in an attempt to stay still for him.

"I know, mama. I know. I got you," he coos through choppy breaths, rubbing your clit fast enough to have you squirming against him. He watches dazedly as fresh crimson decorates his fingertips, anew. The pace of his hips becomes sporadic with his own peak nearing. He's about to bust again with the way your gummy, lubricated walls snuggly wrap around him.

With just a couple more thrusts and the ongoing stimulation offered to your clit, you gush all over him again, a mixture of your cum and blood rushing out of you and onto him before dripping onto the towel beneath you. "Oh my- T-Toji, oh fuck!" Your back arches off the bed, your head thrown back into the pillow as you cry out in pure ecstasy.

Toji is pulling you into his quickened thrusts, putting your tired, pretty body to work so that he can finish, too. He's following after you just a minute later, a deep, growl-like groan leaving him as more of his thick cum is shot into your ruined cunt. His chest rises and falls, long, heavy breaths exhaled through his parted lips. his neck glistens with sweat and dampened strands of hair stick to his forehead.

"How are your guts?" He asks, his words still somewhat breathy as he works to recompose himself after pulling out of you.

"Good," you respond, echoing back that tiredness. "Out of place, but good. That... that did it. No more pain." You think that if you shut your eyes for longer than ten seconds, you'll doze off. As if Toji would let you wake up feeling dirtier than you did before you let him get his hands on you.

"Hey," he calls, tapping your outer thigh. You hum in disapproval of having to open your eyes again. "Doll, we have to get you cleaned up." He taps you again.

"Five minutes," you whine, shutting your eyes tightly before pulling the pillow out from beneath your head and throwing it over your face.

"None of the whining, mama. It's for the best and you know it." He doesn't go on because you don't respond, presumably dozed off. He pulls the pillow off your face and becomes the target of your pointed gaze when light floods your vision again. "I'm not gonna stop bugging you until you get up." He's fighting the urge to tease you about wanting a kiss for that alluring pout on your lips. "Don't you wanna take a nice and cool shower with me?"

"I'm stuck," you groan, exaggeratedly dropping your arm after your feigned weak attempt to move more than a couple inches. "Can't... move."

"Your level of drama outshines the best actors, doll. I see right through it."

You can't even hold back a giggle at that. You clutch your chest and continue on with the theatrics. "Ouch. My stomach doesn't hurt anymore, but there's suddenly a really sharp pain in my chest. So, this is what taken back love feels like, huh?"

Toji snickers at the sound of your pathetic words as he crosses the ends of the towel over your lower body. Once the towel is wrapped securely, his arm goes beneath your knees, and the other settles on your lower back. With one swift motion, he lifts you off the bed and starts for the bathroom. He knew you had no intention of moving on your own, so he took the initiative. "Now you're a poet? You would never make it through heartbreak poetry." He looks down at you with a sly grin. "You would be making it all up, because you know how much I love your dramatic self."

You laugh. "Yeah... i'll never be a heartbreak poet." You don't sound like you're at a loss at all. You said it with a smile on your face. You've never been more happy to have lost a path like that.

"That's too bad, isn't it?"

599 notes · View notes

vanillelace · 1 year

Text

in my dreams ( park sunghoon )

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; warnings – angst ( death and mentions of it, mentions of blood ), slight fluff ( the entire fic is sort of like flashbacks or rewinds into the reader’s life ), cursing (a lot I think), quite serious problems like cardiac arrest (illness? unsure) and stroke mentions (i don’t mention them in depth)

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; pairings – gwisin park sunghoon x y/n, ending includes a different ship that I wanna keep a surprise :)

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; genre – angst!! the entire fic is sort of supernatural, a bit of fluff, supernatural au, gwisin au (ghost, basically)

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; wordcount – 14364

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; synopsis – “in my dreams, you’re here with me.” in which sunghoon left you long ago, but you still seem to feel him around you, in everything you do.

𝟏𝟏𝟏 ; author's note – DO READ THIS. IN MY DREAMS is a fan-fiction written as a part of the ‘So Ends The Myth’ collab hosted by @svngcore . This fiction in no way represents the myth Gwisin (or spirit) accurately. It is my interpretation of the myth, and I’d advise you to research about it separately. On a lighter note, I’ve been trying to get over my writer’s block so here I am! Also, my new school starts May 22 (it’s 23 January 2022 right now) and I won’t be active from then (not like I am anyway 🤡👍).

FIC BELOW THE CUT.

——— PRESENT DAY

“Y/N, you’re zoning out again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

You bow in apology to your secretary at work, who shakes her head and strides off. “You say this every time, but it doesn’t seem to change. Take a break.”

You hate to admit it, but ever since he left, nothing’s been the same. The effects of the loss on you hadn’t worn off, although it had been over a year since that extremely traumatic night.

The night Sunghoon died.

The night you lost the love of your life.

29 May.

——— 29 MAY, 20XX

“Oh my God, Y/N, you look beautiful.” Sunghoon said, hugging you from behind as you struggled to spray perfume on yourself. “You’re not too bad yourself, Sunghoon,” you grinned, returning his hug as comfortably as you could.

Looking back, that was the last hug you two would share, as you later found out.

“Thanks, sweetheart. Need any help?” He suppressed a laugh as you shook the perfume bottle aggressively, trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Shaking your head in reply, you finally fixed it and sprayed it where it was necessary. Sunghoon chuckled lightly, twirling you around.

“What’s this all for?” You asked him, laughing in return as he spun you around your bedroom. “Ah, why not, eh?” He replied, placing a kiss on your forehead. You blushed, and he smiled. “When do you want to leave? We can leave right now, we’ll reach in quite enough time.”

“Sure, let’s go.”

That would be one of the last times you would see him without blood scarring his beautiful face.

He opened the door for you to make sure you were able to sit comfortably in your dress, being the gentleman he was. As he sat in the driver’s seat, he said, “Happy anniversary, Y/N.” You smiled and replied, “And a very happy anniversary to you too, Park Sunghoon.”

As he accelerated on the nearly empty road, you wondered how you got so lucky. How did you get such a wonderful boyfriend?

That was one thing you had never figured out, and it scared you.

All that happiness dissipated within ten seconds. How was it so easy for that emotion to fly away? Or, rather, get shredded so spectacularly? And to be replaced by fear and anxiety so quickly?

You barely registered when the drunk truck driver swerved into your car. Sunghoon hit the brakes as fast as he could, but he was too late.

Within a snap of fate’s cruel fingers, you lost the one lover you had ever laughed and lived your life with. Even loved.

Sunghoon had made sure the impact of the crash would be felt on his side of the car, and the only major injuries you had suffered were mental. Other than that, you had been bruised and scratched.

Sunghoon, on the other hand? Not so much. Or, so less, rather. The glass that had reluctantly broken had pierced into his head, and he had broken a major part of the right side of his body. You were in a daze as approaching vehicles stopped, and some of them helped you and Sunghoon out of the car. The drunk driver had sped away in fear, and you really hadn’t cared at the time.

The only thought in your head was that you lost Park Sunghoon.

The love of your life.

And everything would never, ever be the same.

You didn’t feel the tears that streamed down your face, or the pain you felt thanks to the minor cuts on your arm. You were numb. The ambulance arrived and carried the two of you away, but it had barely reached the hospital that the doctors in the vehicle pronounced him dead.

The one thing they (very wrongly) didn’t pronounce dead was your heart, and all your emotions with it.

——— PRESENT DAY

“Earth to Y/N?”

“Yeah, yeah, Yunjin, I’m here,” you tell Huh Yunjin, your closest friend and current roommate. She shakes her head and sighs, sitting next to you on the sofa.

After work, you had taken the bus back home, as you usually did after the accident. You never set foot in a car, and it had been so long. Yunjin kept trying to get you to move on, that is, sit in a car, but she failed miserably every time.

“Y/N, you need to go to therapy. Please understand what I’m saying. It must have been so traumatizing, which I know, so you need to try and heal. You’re letting it disrupt your life. I understand that he was the love of your life. I’m not trying to be insensitive. But please, he wouldn’t have wanted you to live your life out like this.”

“Well, he hopefully didn’t want to die either, but here we are, Yunjin.”

Yunjin bites her lip, and you realize you may have been just a bit too harsh on her. She’s only trying to help you, after all.

“I’m sorry for acting this way, Yunjin, but I’m trying. Please let me try my way. It’s probably difficult to see me like this, wasting away, but really. Sunghoon was all I wanted to be with, apart from you. You have the love of your life, Yunjin. I don’t, and it hurts so much. I’m not saying I’m jealous of you, but don’t you think I don’t know what I’m missing out on? Nothing will be the same even if I try dating someone else. As for the therapist, Yunjin, do you think the newspapers will stay silent if they see me off to the therapist? My mom will say, ‘Ah, Y/N, our failure of a daughter, now off to the shrink? Good. Waste of time.’ And the newspapers will reflect the same.

“Look, I’m trying. If I could have arranged to see a therapist in private, I would’ve. But with my dad ill, I’m all the business has left. Mom has to take care of Dad. She doesn’t have a choice. Once I get a break from work, I’ll definitely work on myself. I swear.

“Thanks for caring, Yunjin.”

“Y/N!” Yunjin cries out, seeing your nose bleed. “Argh, not again…” you sigh, as Yunjin runs for a tissue. The nosebleed problem isn’t quite major, but it is rather annoying. Especially in such situations. Extremely inconvenient.

“Anyways,” you begin, waiting for Yunjin to continue. “Ah, Y/N, why can’t you just try to ask someone for help, just for once! It’s not going to harm you, or your work. Trust me. Please.”

“Yunjin, we have the same conversation daily, but what good comes out of it? Breathe. I’m working on it. Try meditating. It really helps!”

“Y/N, you use humor to cope. It’s not healthy. Please.”

“Let’s end this right now. I’m too tired to fight. Yunjin, let’s have a meal and sleep. Believe me, I’ll just let the bad times pass by at the company and then get in touch with a therapist.”

You both know that might never happen, but Yunjin decides it’s an okay-ish excuse to begin eating, knowing that nothing ever good comes out of fighting.

—————— 🦢

The nightmares stopped two months ago, but of course, sleep is a tiring process for you. Sunghoon’s comforting arms usually helped you sleep, but that is out of the question now. All you can do is silently fade into the darkness, allowing it to swallow you whole, no matter what you may dream of. To avoid the nightmares, you never think about the accident at night, and always convince yourself, like a fool, that Sunghoon is out on a business trip of some sort, and he will return tomorrow, of course he will. He loves you, so why won’t he?

He loves you, but he’s dead.

You continue deluding yourself, disapproving of all the unhappy thoughts at night, embracing them during the day. During the day, nightmares can’t haunt you. At night, they attack you from every direction, every angle, battering and bruising you until you are exhausted. But on the bright side, it’s been a while since you’ve had a nightmare.

And God, are you thankful.

As your mind runs through all of this, you twist and turn in your bed, willing yourself to fall asleep for once. The room is dark, just the way you like it, and there’s nothing that you can mistake for an entity of any sort. No chairs with clothes on them that make you wonder if it really is a chair (is it though?) or lights that successfully fail to be stable (your mental health is stabler, which is making a statement).

So why do you feel something on your cheek?

A lover’s caress? The devil’s touch? You’re unsure, but you don’t know how to speak.

Then you see him.

Park Sunghoon.

Definitely the devil’s touch, you think to yourself.

Park Sunghoon, the love of your life, floating leglessly. The same ethereal beauty in all of his features, but more… frightening, yes, that’s the word. Frighteningly handsome. But something’s off.

He’s dead.

If he’s dead…

Who is this?

You want to shriek, scream, call for help, but an invisible object muffles your voice, disallowing you from speaking a single word.

“Y/N…”

Sunghoon, Sunghoon, you’re dead, but if not, give me a sign that this is you, you desperately think.

“Y/N, it’s me. I can speak. But I’m not alive. I can’t stay in the real world for too long in a visible form, so I will leave you now. Wait for me to communicate with you. Please don’t do anything fatal to yourself. I have seen your every thought, and I know what you are capable of doing to yourself just to be united with me. Stop. I need to go now. Stay… a… live…”

You watch as he fades away with his mystical voice, unable to believe anything.

The one thing you’re sure of is that you definitely need to sleep.

And you definitely should take Yunjin up on her offer of a therapist.

—————— 🦢

“Yunjin, recommend some therapists for me, please,” you mumble as Yunjin prepares breakfast for the two of you.

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard what I said.”

“Yeah, but I think I can hear it again!” Yunjin turns and smiles at you, and you sigh. “Therapists. Please.”

“Finally. May I ask what convinced you to make this decision?” Yunjin asks sweetly, squeezing some lime into what you assume is a salad.

The previous night’s chaos runs through your head, and you think to yourself. If I even suggest that such a thing happened, she’ll practically kick me out of here to visit a psychiatrist immediately. Maybe I can cut down on the incidents.

“Oh, I thought through our conversation and came to this conclusion, because I realized you were right.”

“We’ve had the same conversation, like, every day. What changed this time?”

“I.. erm.. I opened my mind to your words..?”

You know Yunjin can’t be so easily swayed, but she accepts it with an inclination of her head. “Sure, I’ll accept that for now, until you decide to tell me what really happened. Anyways, I think I’ll leave for work now, have your breakfast, and drink some water. I’ve packed your lunch, you don’t need to cook, but dinner’s on you. Bye! Have a nice day, Y/N.”

“You too, Yunjin. What’re you doing at work today?”

Yunjin works as an influencer, a job so flexible it suits Yunjin perfectly. She usually vlogs, but she produces music occasionally, too. You’ve heard her voice so often, but it’s very, very difficult to find it dull. Her voice has a soothing aura about it, and when she hits each note, you’ll think to yourself, yes, this is how music should be sung.

So it’s not very surprising when you check her YouTube to see that she has over ten million subscribers. Her channel, Jenaissante, is popular for the down-to-earth vlogs she creates, and you occasionally feature on it, too.

As heir to one of the biggest record labels in the industry, ZEN Entertainment, you have a public image to maintain, and God, does it get stressful. You’re an only child, and your father is in a critical condition. Your mother is quite harsh, but you know it’s all for your own good. She is the only reason you have such a strong image in public, and the reason your father is still alive.

——— JANUARY 20XX

A few months before Sunghoon’s death, the two of you were on your way to your family home. But before you were even home, your mother called.

One call that changed how your life was.

“Y/N! It’s your father, he had a cardiac arrest, we’re at the hospital, meet us there. You know the one. The doctors aren’t sure he’ll make it. Please come as soon as you can.”

Your eyes went wide, and you turned to Sunghoon, who was extremely confused.

“Y/N, what is it?”

You remained silent, still trying to process everything. “Y/N! Answer me, please!”

“Sunghoon, it’s my father. He’s had a heart attack. I’ll drive, switch places.”

“No, Y/N, I’ll drive. You’re in shock. Just send me the location. What did your mother say? Will he be fine?”

“The doctors aren’t sure if he’ll make it, Sunghoon. I sent you the location. Please, let’s get there as fast as possible.”

By some miracle, he made it. Your mother was in tears. That was one of the days you saw her completely broken.

——— FEBRUARY, THE SAME YEAR

That happiness didn’t last for long. The next month, your father had a stroke. He was left unable to remember a major part of his life, and almost paralyzed. His communication was limited in terms of spoken language, but he communicated just fine through other means. He remembered you, your family, Yunjin, but couldn’t recollect Sunghoon’s presence in his life. He remembered his company, but was unable to run it, leaving its burden on you.

You weren’t angry about it. It wasn’t his fault. Your mother didn’t want you to do his work, because the industry was incredibly toxic, and words were flung around carelessly at each and every setting. But did you have a choice?

After your father had a stroke, your mother had to look after him, but she did attend board meetings whenever she could online. Sunghoon helped you as much as possible, but he had his own work to do, too.

Yunjin assisted in your work wherever she could. The marketing aspect of your work was done by Yunjin on behalf of you, because she had a better idea of it.

When Sunghoon died, however, Yunjin took over your work with your secretary, putting a hold on her own life for you. Your mother attended board meetings and you looked after your father. He was rapidly healing, but he did have the occasional loss in memory. His paralysis would always be present, but he was regaining use of his speech, making life easier for you and your mother.

He was trying his best to make it easy for you, because your mother explained whom you had lost. At the funeral, you and your family met with Sunghoon’s parents, who were heartbroken.

“We don’t have any reason at all to blame you. I just hope you heal, honey, because that’s what our son would’ve wanted.” Mr Park was extremely understanding, and so was his wife. After that statement, you apologized profusely and bowed, and Mrs Park, unable to speak, hugged you tightly.

That was another day your own mother was completely broken, seeing her daughter grieving.

—————— 🦢

Your brain swimming with thoughts, too many thoughts, you leave your house, heading into work. After a few months, you took over from Yunjin again, allowing Yunjin to go back to her work. Your secretary was like a sister to you at the time, and continues to be one.

“Welcome, Y/N, what would you like to drink?”

“Relax, Kazuha, I’ll prepare something for you instead. What do you want?”

Kazuha grins, “A coffee would be good. You know my type, right?”

“Yeah, no sugar, black coffee, whipped cream on the side. Quite weird, but okay, I guess.”

Kazuha thumps your back in indignation, walking off to pick up your mail. You laugh and go to the kitchen, bumping into one of your artists, Nishimura Riki.

“Oh, hi, Riki, how come you’re at the company today?”

“Ah, Ms Y/N, hello,” he bows, and smiles. “My vocal trainer asked me to meet here, he wants to try recording a demo.”

“Interesting! What time? I’ll see if I can make it, my schedule isn’t that busy today.”

“In an hour or so. Hope to see you there, ma’am.”

You smile and bow, and leave the kitchen with the coffees in hand. “Hey, Kazuha, what’s this I hear about Ni-ki recording a demo? Didn’t he release a whole album, like, last month?”

Kazuha nods, sipping her coffee. “Yeah, he did, but if I’m not wrong, he’s taking a break from work for two months on behalf of his exams. He’s about to finish an early bachelor’s degree in Japanese and also in Economics.”

“Oh, wow! That’s great. How come I wasn’t aware of this?”

“Oh.. this was approved when Yunjin was working with me. I gave you a file on it, remember?”

“Ah. Must’ve slipped my mind. Sorry. What’s on our schedules today?”

“You’ll be meeting with the rival company’s CEO for lunch in three hours. I’ll be

meeting with an artist from another company whose contract is going to end soon to see if she’ll join us. You asked me to check when her contract ends, remember? Hanni Pham?”

“Ah, yes. Isn’t she in a group, though?”

“They might join us. I’ll check. If she and her group joins us, we’re in for a good time at the company.”

“I soundly agree, Kazuha. Good luck getting them to join us, though. When exactly do they get to renew their contracts?”

“Around four more months. May, I think.”

Ah. Shit.

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, definitely. You’re leaving right now?”

“I have to, it’s far away. Hopefully this meeting goes well. Take care!” Kazuha crosses her fingers and leaves the room, and you wave after her.

Get it together, Y/N. This is an important part of your time as CEO of ZEN Entertainment. If NewJeans joins you, you’re set for life.

It will be two years then. Will you be able to manage to stay under control?

—————— 🦢

“Hello, Ms Y/N.” The producer hops to his feet and bows, and so does Ni-ki. “Hello. I was curious about the production, which Ni-ki told me about. So I’m here to just watch. I’ll be doing my work, but I’ll be paying attention. Go about your work and pretend I’m not there!”

The producer nods, and goes back into discussion with Ni-ki. “I’m thinking we do something from your usual concept. What we’ve seen from you is a… dark theme, but we can try something brighter this time. Who’s to say that you can’t do a cute concept?”

“I actually agree. Let’s go for it. So do we go with the lyrics I provided, or the one the lyricist did?”

“I think we can go with a mix. Let’s work on that for the next hour or so. We also have a backing track ready, but I might have to get that modified. We won’t be doing a ballad, right?”

“No, I don’t feel like that’s going to suit me very much.”

“Okay then. Let’s get to work on the lyrics. ma’am, would you like to oversee this? Since Ni-ki wrote a lot of potential lyrics.”

“Sure.” You get up, walking over to where there are multiple sheets of words written in messy handwriting.

“Ignore the mess, please. I work better when I’m in a rush.” Ni-ki smiles, sorting the whole mess out. “It’s fine, don’t worry. You’re a very young artist. I’m honestly glad to see you comfortable with creating your own music. It goes a long way, believe me.”

“Thank you, I’m honored,” Ni-ki bows, and pins some sheets together. “Uhm, ma’am, I need to take this call, will it be fine if you’re here? It’s a personal emergency.”

“Don’t worry, take the call. I’ll be here.”

The producer rushes out, speaking in his native language incredibly quickly. “Anyway, I like the look of these lyrics. I think you’ve had a… messed up, partying teen vibe with some vampires in the mix?”

“Yeah, indeed. I honestly didn’t know where the concept would go. So I came up with these. A sudden change in the concept will shoo some of my fans away. But I think I’ll gain some fans too. That’s beneficial to both me and the company, so.. yeah.”

“Valid point. So you’re going for a teen love concept now?”

“Yep. I’m not boasting, but I am very young. So I should go with such concepts, because as a teenager myself, it’s easy for me to represent such topics.”

“Right. You are very smart, Ni-ki. I like it. You have a mind made for such work.”

“Thank you.”

As you both settle in comfortable silence, you read the lyrics carefully. The album Ni-ki is working on revolves around the theme of young love, right from the meeting to the goodbyes. You can’t help but think of your goodbye to your first love, but you shake away the thoughts.

«It was a pretty sunset,

We didn’t want the moment to end

Right from the hello, you caught my eye

And now I just can’t say goodbye

To you, the one I like

If this is young love, I don’t want it

To you I can’t bear to bid a farewell

If it’s you I’ll love, please don’t be my first

I know how first loves end, all too well

Is this what young love is?

After that day, we met often

We both knew we had fallen

The first handshake, you caught my eye

And now I just can’t say goodbye

To you, the one I like

If this is young love, I don’t want it

To you I can’t bear to bid a farewell

If it’s you I’ll love, please don’t be my first

I know how first loves end, all too well

Is this what young love is?

Just stay a while, stay right there

Maybe then we’ll last forever

Just don’t fall for me, let’s not be our firsts

We both know how this is going to end

If this is young love, I can’t have it

To you, one day, I’ll say goodbye

I can’t have you, if you’ll be my first

Can’t bear to see you cry

Is this what young love is?

This is what young love is»

“Ni-ki, this is amazing. Seriously.”

“Thank you. I’m going to combine it with the lyricist’s bridge, though. I don’t like the one I wrote.”

“You can do what you want, but this is really good. I like the ending. If you play it right, this can be a masterpiece. You need to conclude it well, so that the listener bursts into tears.”

“I don’t exactly want my fans to cry—“

“But that’s the sign of a good song —“

“So I’ll have to make them cry.” Ni-ki finished, pursing his lips together.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You grin, lounging in the chair.

“Okay then. The goal is now to make people cry. Good.” Ni-ki says, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Are you being sarcastic to your boss?” You ask teasingly, and he aggressively shakes his head.

“Oh, no, of course not.” Ni-ki hastily retracts his words, and you laugh.

Suddenly, something catches your eye. “Ni-ki, is this yours?”

“How can it be? It has a name engraved on it. Could be the producer’s.”

He takes the briefcase that you’re holding to check the name.

“Uhm.. ma’am, it says Park Sung-hoon on it..”

You blink. “What?” “Yes. And I know for a fact the producer is not Park Sung-hoon. Oh, you know what? Could be the choreographer’s. Park Ji-sung. Maybe we’re reading it wrong—“

“Give it to me. Let’s see if we’re really wrong.”

You snatch the briefcase and see the name engraved in it. “It’s Park Sung-hoon, alright. And I’m also sure that I don’t have a single employee with that name who visited here today. I’ll announce this.”

“But maybe you should open it? Just in case they have documents of themselves. It would make it easier for you.”

“Right. Smart idea.” You say, unzipping the case.

And immediately you drop it.

“It’s my dead boyfriend’s.”

—————— 🦢

You had a panic attack after that little incident, and Ni-ki had to take you to the on-hand nurse, meant for the artists.

“You fine, ma’am?” The nurse asks, concerned at the expression your face holds. “Yeah, I am. Thank you. Where’s Ni-ki?”

“He’s outside.”

You get up to meet him, and he immediately gets up from the chair he was sitting on, seeing you exit consciously. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. But I am so confused,” you mumble, lost in thought.

Am I going crazy? Are these signs?

“You aren’t crazy,” Ni-ki assures you, as if he read your mind. “It’s a normal reaction that an average human would show. Don’t worry. You worry too much, and this was just a small side effect of that worry. Go home, and get some rest. Believe me. You need it.”

You nod absentmindedly and wave at Ni-ki, who waves back with a look of concern, knowing nothing in what he said went into your head.

You walk on, in your own train of thoughts, and you don’t even notice when you walk into another employee. “Argh—“

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, are you fine?” You ask, helping the unknown person up. “Yes, I am, thank you, ma’am,” he mumbles in a deep voice, gathering his papers. “This may seem rude, but who are you?”

“I’m actually a choreographer, my name’s Park Ji-sung. And I know who you are, obviously. Nice to meet you.” He answers, smiling and offering his free hand for you to shake. You do so, and help him organize his papers. “What are these for, if I may ask?”

“These are actually my personal documents, I always carry a set of them with me just in case.”

“Documents, as in?”

“Passports, medical records, etc.”

“I see. And these?”

“One of my artist's songs. In fact, here he comes. Ni-ki, hey.”

“Oh, hi, Jisung, I see you met Ms. Y/N. ma’am, he choreographed my hit song, Sweet Season.”

You remember vaguely that the song went viral for its unique choreography, and the footwork being incredibly detailed. People were also talking about the up-and-coming choreographer, but you didn't know at the time who he was at all.

“Oh! That’s great. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Park. I’m so glad you’re in charge of Ni-ki’s new song. It’s going to be great.”

“You’ve seen the lyrics?”

“Yes, and approved. We were in the studio not too long ago.” You smile, and Ni-ki nods. “Yeah, then she had an emergency to attend to, so I walked her off.” He adds, and Jisung nods his head slowly.

“I see. It’s been really nice talking to you, ma’am, but I really have to get started on Ni-ki’s choreography. If you’ve approved the song, I’ll assume that it’s going to be released. Ni-ki, let’s go. Goodbye, Ms. Y/N.”

“Bye ma’am!” Ni-ki waves, and you call after them, “You guys can call me by my name!”

“Bye, Y/N!” Jisung turns and bows, then rushes to the practice room. You smile, getting back to your office.

Ni-ki and Jisung seem fun.

—————— 🦢

“Kazuha! Hi! How was the meeting?”

“WE HAVE THEM ON BOARD!”

Kazuha runs up to you and hugs you tightly, and you pat her back. “Let’s celebrate. Are you free after work? Dinner’s on me back home with Yunjin, so I would much rather take you guys out. You’ve seen my cooking, haven’t you?”

Kazuha shudders jokingly, and smiles. “Definitely free. Will it be just the three of us?”

“I might invite Ni-ki and his choreographer. I feel like we’ll all get along really well.”

“Okay. That’s fine.”

“Come with me after work, you can come over to my house and get ready with me and Yunjin. You’re done with all your meetings, right? Go home, and pack some clothes.”

“Okay, then I’ll come back to the office, and leave with you?”

“Yep.”

“Alright.”

“Pack clothes to stay over, just in case we get back late.”

“Alright. Also, have you met with the CEO already?”

Shit.

“Y/N!”

“I’M LEAVING! GOING RIGHT NOW!” You hurriedly grab your coat and purse and rush out of your office, going to the nearest bus stop and sitting in a corner.

“Ma’am, I’m on my way. My apologies, I didn’t mean to be this late, but an emergency popped up.”

“No worries, ma’am. I’m waiting. When you reach, ask for Yoo Ji-min.”

“Sure, I will. See you there.”

You disconnect the phone, sighing in relief. Yoo Ji-min is the CEO of MY Entertainment.

Jimin has a nice personality, and the two of you aren’t really on bad terms. However, you do sometimes have friendly arguments over who gets to scout whom. You still haven’t reached a conclusion on that argument, but for the sake of being civil, the two of you agreed to push it under the rug for now.

As you reach the stop, you exit the bus, looking around for the restaurant that Jimin has reserved for the meeting. “Hi, table for two under the name Yoo Ji-min?” You ask the receptionist, slightly out of breath, who nods, leading you to a table in the back.

“Jimin!”

“Y/N!”

She gets up from her seat, looking as pretty as ever in a formal black dress. “Nice to see you. So glad you could make it. How’ve you been?”

“I’m okay, Jimin. It’s great to see you, too. How are you doing lately? I hear that you’ve been busy, based on the amount of work your company has been doing.”

“Yeah, I’m good. But busy indeed. Honestly, the amount of time I’ve been spending at the company is more than the time I spend at home. Super hectic, but that's fine. As a CEO, that’s bound to happen.”

“Indeed. You should probably take a break, though.”

“And let you steal the show?” Jimin laughs teasingly. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on, Jimin. Thought we were over this by now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I didn’t call you here on business. I just called you to meet, as acquaintances.”

“Really? And you don’t want anything from me?”

“Nope. I owe you many favors, but I just can’t seem to get the opportunity to repay them. I should be asking you if you need anything.”

“I don’t. Maybe a break would be nice though.”

Jimin laughs with you, nodding her head. “Maybe we can take a break together.”

“Someday, when everything is back to normal at our companies. But I think we would have to be friends for that.”

“You made a good point there, Y/N. Well, I do want to be friends with you, but it might get odd at times. Do you know, I barely have any friends?”

“I do, actually. This industry gets so lonely, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. Minjeong, Ning and Aeri are the only people helping my sanity at the moment, to be quite frank with you.”

“Yunjin and Kazuha too, although Kazuha isn’t so much a friend as a sister to me. And Yunjin is practically family to even my parents now.”

“I could say the same about Ning. Although I’m getting to know the other two better now, thankfully.”

The waiter comes over to take your orders, and the two of you order non-alcoholic drinks. The waiter nods and walks away, leaving you two alone again.

“I just had a great idea. How about we girls get together? Just us? You, me, my three friends, Yunjin and Kazuha?”

“Sounds good, but I’ll get back to you on that. I have some stuff going on with some of my artists, but that should be over in a month or two. What about then?”

“I agree, my work should have died down by then. Let’s do it. Should we swear on it?” Jimin asks jokingly, and you nod, mock seriously. “Let’s.”

The two of you laugh lightly, and enjoy the rest of the meeting with small talk.

—————— 🦢

That was awkward at the start, but Jimin really is nice. One day, when we both quit our jobs, I hope we stay friends. You think to yourself, entering your office with your head down.

“Hi, Ms. Y/N! Ms. Nakamura informed us that you invited us to dinner?”

You nod, seeing Kazuha, Ni-ki, and Park Jisung in your office, and answer Ni-ki. “Yeah, I did. We just signed an important contract, and I felt like inviting you guys for fun. Don’t think of this as a conflict of interest, but I would like to get to know you guys better.”

“I wouldn’t think of it as anything else, but we know you’re friends with Ms. Kazuha over here.” Jisung says in his signature deep voice. “Right!” Ni-ki agrees, and you smile. “Anyway, you guys can meet us there, it’s the trending new restaurant everyone’s obsessed about. I got us a reservation there.”

“Wait, really?” Kazuha asks, slightly surprised. “Yeah, I just never asked you to book a table,” you laugh at Kazuha’s expression.

After a bit of discussion of the plans, the boys leave and you and Kazuha head back to your place, where Yunjin is waiting to pounce on you.

“Y/N! How was the lunch I packed for you?” She asks sweetly, and your heart drops. “Oh.. eh.. it was nice, but since I couldn’t eat all of it, I gave it to the choreographer, Park Jisung.” Kazuha, to her credit, says nothing and smiles furtively at you from behind Yunjin.

“Ah, isn’t he coming with us? I’ll definitely check with him.”

As soon as Yunjin leaves, you stuff the rice she had packed for you in the morning into a different box and hide it away in the refrigerator. Kazuha giggles and walks away, zipping her lips as a sign of secrecy.

The three of you get dressed, and help each other with your hair, makeup and what-not. You leave just in time in order to reach the restaurant to claim your reservation, and when you reach, you see the guys already seated at the table.

“We assumed that the table would be under your name,” Jisung shrugs. “You assumed well, I suppose, because otherwise you wouldn’t be here,” Yunjin says, sitting down. “I’d assume you’re Park Jisung. So, tell me, how did you like the rice I prepared? Y/N gave it to you, right?”

“Yes, she did. I loved it. The spice, however, was not up to my level,” Jisung smirks. “Oh. So she did give it to you. Fine, Y/N, I believe you.” Yunjin accepts defeat and moves on to talk to Ni-ki about his exams.

Kazuha also gets involved in the conversation, leaving you and Jisung to talk. “I owe you one,” You say to Jisung, who smiles. “Yeah, you do. You’d gone out for a meal with Yoo Ji-min, right? It’s all over the news.” He says casually, and you frown.

“Is it? Strange. What are they saying?” “You don't need to know, but they basically say you’re out.. having fun, and they can’t help but wonder about some things. Forget it, you really don’t have to know.”

“No, tell me. What do they wonder about?”

“Ms. Y/N—“

“Go ahead.”

“They’re wondering if you already moved on from..”

“Oh.”

Jisung scrutinizes your micro expressions, and he pats your hand. “Ma’am, you don’t have to worry about what they say. I just believe it’s in your best interest if you know.”

“I see. Thank you for informing me. I won’t comment on them, of course. Best to let the fire die down by itself. Besides, she’s a rival CEO. Even if I become friends with her, no one would believe us, quite frankly.”

“You’re right! See, this is why you shouldn’t bother with this. They just believe what they want to.”

“I genuinely hate the press sometimes.” “Everyone in the industry does, ma’am.” He replies. “You don’t have to call me ma’am, Mr. Park.”

“In that case, you don’t have to call me Mr. Park, Y/N.”

“Right you are, Jisung.”

And so the evening goes on, and everyone gets along surprisingly well. “Cheers to this wonderful evening. Ni-ki, I really hope that’s not alcohol.”

“It isn’t, mom. It’s just apple juice, I swear.” You nod sarcastically and toast.

The evening ends after dinner, and everyone parts their ways. Kazuha goes home, since it isn’t really late. You and Yunjin head home and go to your own rooms.

“Y/N.”

You start in shock, and turn around slowly. “Y/N, don’t be scared. I swear, I’m safe. You’re safe.”

“Sunghoon, I’m going crazy. You’re dead, and my mind just doesn’t want to accept it.”

“I am dead, but this is my spirit. I’ve come back as a Gwisin, Y/N. The reason I’m here is so you move on from me. And I’m here right now to convince you. Like I said last time, I can’t be here for too long. So listen to me. You need to move on. If I don’t come to the real world for some time, I can save up on energy and I can stay for longer. The briefcase? It was me. Look, I’ll come back in two days. Or a week. Keep a watch for me. I’ll try to stay with you forever, but it’s not gonna happen, for sure. You aren’t going crazy, just remember that.

“Even if I’m gone, it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Stay alive, Y/N.”

“Sunghoon!” You call out softly, but he’s gone already.

He’s gone, like he always is.

—————— 🦢

“Y/N, have you seen the headlines? The news outlets are having a field day with last night’s dinner.” Yunjin wakes you up in the morning with incredible news.

“What is it?” You yawn. Thanks to Sunghoon’s speech, you had not gotten even a wink of sleep the previous night.

“People think you’re dating Park Jisung. Some are saying that you’re showing favoritism toward Ni-ki. And there are now rumors of me and Ni-ki, which is SO wrong.”

“Ugh, I’ll talk to Kazuha about this crap. I guess I’ll release a press release. And you should ignore the Ni-ki rumors, I’ll get our agency to release some announcement about it. And don’t worry, you can post, but I think I can use this to some advantage, so please wait, would you?”

“Y/N, I trust you, so I’ll wait. But please don’t let this blow up badly.”

“I won’t, I promise.” You cross a finger over your heart, doing the iconic promise thing. Yunjin smiles, sipping her tea. “Right, it’s my turn for breakfast. What do you want?”

“You know, I have been craving a Greek yogurt bowl..”

“The yogurt you made? And adding açaí in it with that vanilla essence?”

“Yes! You know me so well. And maybe that matcha coffee latte I love.”

“On it. Anything else?”

“Nope! Thank you.”

You smile and turn away to prepare your breakfast and Yunjin’s bowl and latte. Yunjin usually makes her own latte, so her entrusting you with it must mean something, definitely. She makes the matcha part and coffee part, mixes them both in milk and ice, and then adds honey as a sweetener. It tastes heavenly, but it takes too much thinking for you to actually make it daily.

“Here’s your breakfast. Let’s have a good meal!”

The two of you eat, gossiping about the goings-on in Yunjin’s industry, you gasping when you hear shocking stuff. After the meal, the two of you rush off to get ready, and wish each other luck on your respective days.

You groan as you enter your office, not looking forward to talking to Kazuha about the rumors flying left, right and center. “Morning, Y/N. I take it you’ve seen the news.”

Kazuha’s grim face greets you at the door, and you nod, rubbing your forehead to try and relieve yourself. “Well then, what do we do?” Kazuha asks you, and you think about it.

“I think we should do two press releases. One for the dating rumors of me and Jisung, and the one of Yunjin and Ni-ki, which is TERRIBLE, by the way. The second one should be handled carefully. The other press release will be about the alleged favoritism. Can you make it so we’re promoting his new album and denying the partiality? Something like, ‘Ms. Y/N congratulates their young and successful artist, Ni-ki, on his new self-produced album by treating him and his choreographer to dinner with her assistant Ms. Kazuha and best friend and popular influencer Huh Yunjin.’ I’m sure it’s not a crime.”

“That’s genius. I’ll get the PR team to do something. Is it fine if the favoritism article comes in a newspaper instead of the agency? It’ll sound better that way.”

“Yes, but consult the PR. And ask the two to meet me here. I’ll get to work on the NewJeans contract draft.”

“Yes, you do that. You don’t really have anything else, I think. If you can talk to the creative and talents team about the new auditions, it would be great. And you should probably meet the group personally. I’ll plan something for you later.”

“Thanks, Kazuha. Good luck with the PR.”

“Good luck with your work too.”

Kazuha leaves the room, shutting the door behind her, and you sigh to yourself, thinking about what to begin working on first. The wind is howling, unexpectedly, since the sun is shining bright outside the window. You look around, the whooshing and howling sounding bizarre looking at the weather.

Suddenly, a paper flies in the room, from God knows where. You hesitate, knowing hate letters are common. But your instincts are telling you to read the paper, and who are you to ignore them?

You’re protected, Y/N.

Lots of love, P.SH.

“ARGH!” You shriek, wondering what was wrong with whoever sent this. Then you notice a little P.S. written at the bottom of the note.

Turn the page over.

You obey, curiosity getting the better of you.

I know you’re thinking this is a joke, or a prank, but it isn’t.

Want me to prove it?

Still saving up energy, but I’ll see you in three days.

I used up some of it to get this note to you.

Being a Gwisin isn’t easy work, dearest Y/N.

But I remember the dinner we had with your parents, before your father had that terrible stroke. We’d gone for sushi, because that was the most convenient for all of us, but we ended up staying back because you and your father wanted to watch football. It was incredibly funny.

What the fuck? You think to yourself, as the door bangs open to reveal Park Jisung.

“Y/N! I heard your shout, are you fine?” He looks at the paper in your hand, and stalks toward you, snatching the paper.

“JISUNG, DON’T—“

“Y/N, with all due respect, what the fuck is this?” Jisung breathes, looking up at you. “Is this some sort of joke? Because we — I mean, you — can sue, you know—“

“No, Jisung. You’ll definitely find me crazy, insane or psychotic based off of what I’m about to tell you, but.. remember Park Sunghoon? Uhm, he’s come back as a ghost, known as —“

“Gwisin?”

“…Yeah, how did you -?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not one and neither have I personally had an experience with one. But it’s a popular myth, and now I’m starting to reconsider the myth part of it. Besides, it was on the note, Y/N. And, just so you know, I’m also reconsidering what I know about you, because either you’ve officially lost it, or ghosts are real, and Ghostbusters wasn’t fiction. I’m doubting myself at the moment.”

“Um. You don’t have to ever talk to me again, if you’re uncomfortable with me, but please don’t tell this to anyone. If you’re not believing me, I doubt anyone will. And Yunjin and Kazuha will definitely not leave me alone ever again.”

“Relax, I won’t. Believe me or don’t, but my friend Haechan enjoys scaring me this way. At this point, he might as well convince me to join a cult. I won’t,” Jisung added hastily, as if he thought you might find him dangerous and fire him, and continued, “But I’ll get back to you on the whole how-I-feel-about-this situation.

You nod, incredibly glad he hasn’t reported you or yelled for help yet, and say, “You don’t need to remember this. Just please don’t say anything to anyone else.”

“You got it. And maybe keep your shrieking on the low, people will definitely think something’s up. Believe me, I genuinely nearly screamed myself when I heard your shout. It was.. what’s the word? Bloodcurdling. Fancy word, but really. Be thankful it’s me who came here and not Niki or Kazuha. Those two would’ve freaked, for sure.”

You nod slowly, realizing that luck is on your side today. In a way.

Woah, that rhymed.

Not the time, Y/N.

“Ah, I got it. Thanks, Jisung. Off topic, but did you have any work right now?”

“No, but given the current situation, I would be glad to leave you alone to think. No offense or anything, but you need time to yourself. Like, if you were going to invite me for coffee in the cafeteria or something. Not that you would or should or anything, don’t be morally obligated or whatever, but—“

“Relax, I get it. And for moral obligation reasons, I won’t say if I was going to invite you or not. Anyway, you’re right, I should spend time alone. I have work, anyway. Go, enjoy your break. Thanks again, Jisung. I owe you one.”

Jisung smiles and leaves, and you realize that you were going to invite him for a coffee, but good thing he had his priorities straight. And he really did make a good point, you had to think. It was a creepy note, yes, but what was creepy anymore? Did anything even count as supernatural? What next, would Spider-Man appear outside her office’s door and give her a cupcake?

“Knock knock!”

The door swung open to reveal Spider-Man himself.

Yes, that’s it. I’ve lost it.

Spider-Man took off his mask to reveal none other than Nishimura Riki, who had assumed it was the right day to dress up for work. “Here’s a box of cupcakes, to thank you for the dinner and to also thank you for helping me out with the scandal. It created publicity, but thanks for helping shutting it down. Kazuha Ma’am told me that it was your idea.”

“The scandal?!”

“No, the usage of it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Riki smiled, placing the box of cupcakes on your table. “Or, rather, when life gives you money, buy Spider-Man outfits and give people cake!”

You laugh at the joke, and say, “You’re really starting to sound like Spider-Man with those sad little jokes and puns, Riki. You’re on break right now?”

“Nope, I’m actually wrapping things up for today. I came to work early and worked overtime last week, so that I could spend time with my family today.”

“You really don’t have to sacrifice your time for your work—“ “No, it’s for my fans. Before I go on hiatus.”

“Nice to see you so dedicated, Niki, but take my advice seriously. This industry can take a lot out of someone.”

“And I’m sure you’re right, but really, I got this. Don’t worry. Anyway, I should probably get changed before I leave the building, or the fans in question will never let me live this down. I can already picture the headlines — “Nishimura Riki, youngest idol / ace of Zen Entertainment, spoils latest comeback in a Spider-Man outfit, rocking it!” “Nishimura Riki to star in the newest Spider-Man outfit, proof here!” It would be so embarrassing…”

“Well, to be fair, and honest, you look good! It’s a good quality costume too, so there are very few memes that can be made. Unless you were holding coffee, or alcohol. I can picture everything then.” You say, struggling to hold back your laughter after imagining the memes.

“Yeah, yeah. Bye, CEO. Have a nice day. And get some lunch.” Riki waves as he leaves to find the nearest restroom to change.

You smile, biting into a cupcake, only to find it full of spicy chilies.

“NISHIMURA RIKI!” You shout, very angry. The door slams open yet again, this time revealing a Spider-Man with no socks on and Jisung, looking very worried. “Oh. My. God.” Riki mouths, as realization dawns on him.

“I gave you the wrong cupcakes. Those were meant for my sister. I am so sorry. Here, try biting into this one, it should be red velvet and cream cheese.” He points to another cupcake in the box, and you obey.

“… NIKI!”

“SHOOT, WAS THAT FILLED WITH CHILLIES TOO?”

“No. It was tomato this time. And the white part, you may be wondering? Radish purée.”

“Um.. I’ll just get you the other box of cupcakes.. you can ask Mr Park to taste-test them for you?” Niki slips out the door, and you sigh.

“I would taste them for you, but I’d rather not take the risk, sorry, Y/N.” Jisung says, and you smile understandingly, unable to talk over the disgusting mix of flavors that are floating around in your mouth. “Thanks for understanding. Anyway, I’m going to assume you didn’t get an opportunity to think about whatever went on with that note. But I gave it a thought, and you should be alone. Finish off whatever work’s a priority right now, and go home. Really. That note would be enough to send me a one-way ticket to a therapist’s office. You can inform Kazuha about your absence, and I’m sure she’ll understand. I’ll take my leave, and enjoy the cupcakes Niki will get you. I helped him pick out both the prank box and sweet box.”

Jisung salutes you and leaves, leaving you staring after him in wonder. Swallowing a bit of water to rinse out the taste of the disgusting cupcake, you think about the events as the door bangs open yet again.

“Ma’am, I’m here with your cupcakes. I sincerely apologize, and I would understand if you fire —“

“Niki, you need to relax. I enjoy jokes too, you know. Depending on the context. And I’m sure your sister’s reaction would’ve been priceless. Anyway, help yourself to a cupcake. I’ll be leaving the building now, too. And please, please be scared of Jisung. He told me he helped you pick out the boxes of cupcakes? He could’ve picked out something really special for you, too.”

Niki’s eyes go wide, processing your words, and yelps. “Oh no, oh no, I asked him to help me pick my lunch! Um, I’ll leave, Ma’am. Thanks for the word of advice, I really appreciate it. Uh, bye!”

Niki runs away, still in his Spider-Man outfit, as you sigh. Ah, I seriously think my employees really would excel at standup comedy sometimes.

Laughing to yourself, you meet a representative from the talents team, asking them to organize a meeting with you and someone from the creative team after lunch. Then, you attempt to find Kazuha, who is sitting in the PR room, shouting at someone on a call. The people in the room look up and bow, seeing you enter. An employee pokes Kazuha and points at you, who hastily turns, ending the call. “Yes, Ms. Y/N?” She asks you, gesturing the rest of the room to get back to work.

“Oh, I’m leaving, I’m done for the day. Something personal came up. I’m taking the meeting with the talent team and creative team online, and I’ve arranged it all myself. You can take a break too, and so can the PR once the releases are all done. And feel free to treat yourselves to lunch on the company card. Just don’t go all out at a 5-star restaurant or something, I genuinely can’t finance that yet. Maybe some other time. Alright?”

Kazuha nods, smiling at the room, who look ready to cheer. “Thank you, Ma’am.” The room bows, as you leave, and Kazuha follows you, shutting the door behind her. “Are you fine, Y/N?” She asks you, scrutinizing your body language and facial expressions.

“Yes, Kazuha. Just a bit tired. Don’t worry, I’m fine, and if anything comes up, I think Yunjin will be at home. Ah, that reminds me. She’s supposed to make a post about the dating rumors, which are still so wrong, can you update her on our PR team’s work? She’ll talk to her management, I think.”

“Sure, I’ll give her a call and see if I can meet her for lunch. She did tell me she would be at home today at the dinner yesterday.”

“Alright then, that’s settled. Ah, and Niki and Jisung met me, although we didn’t get around to discussing much. Niki thanked me for the handling of the situation, by the way. But I’ll talk to Jisung tomorrow.”

“Okay, that should be fine. Bye, Ma’am.” Kazuha opens the door and slips back in, and you wave her off, leaving the building with a little sign of a headache building up.

—————— 🦢

You get back home, exhausted by the events of the day and grab your lunch. You sit for the meeting, discussing the new trainees that are to be accepted soon, and idols that they wished to sign a contract with. The meeting lasts for about an hour, and you stretch yourself after the meeting, trudging up to your room to try and take a nap. Unfortunately, your brain refuses to fall asleep after the note, and you end up laying in bed and wondering about the whole incident.

You suddenly recall that Jisung was there to witness the note, and you wonder if he’ll stay true to his word forever. As you delve deeper into your thoughts, you jump when you hear a phone ringing.

Your phone, in fact.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Hi, this is Huh Yunjin speaking. Is Ms. Y/N free at the moment?” You hear your best friend’s sarcastic voice, and smile. “Of course I am. Anything for you.”

“Woah, woah, lay off on the lines, Y/N. I might just end up dating you.” You could hear the wink that Yunjin would’ve produced if she was right next to you.

“Ha, ha, ah yes, what a joke, I laughed. Anyway, what’s up? Did you eat?”

“I did, but I called to check on you. I hope you ate too?”

“Yeah, I did, mom. Is that why you called?”

“That, and Kazuha called. Thanks for helping me sort it out. Ugh. That is illegal and so wrong. What is wrong with people?”

“I’d have to agree. Anyway, when are you getting home?”

“Um, should be around six. Anything up?”

“Nope. Just checking. Get back safe.”

“Will do, Ma’am. Bye!”

“Bye!” You disconnect the call, smiling lightly as you feel grateful for having such a lovely friend by your side.

You and I both know that wouldn’t last for long if she knew you think ghosts spoke to you.

Oh, shut up, you. You tell yourself, plopping back down on your bed. You just know that this whole dilemma will reach a head soon, but till then you’ll have to wait it out. But why does life make it so difficult to tolerate this?

Thankfully, Sunghoon isn’t due for another two days at least. Whether it’s him, or any of his notes or signs or whatever it was he could think of, you’re determined to not let it get to you and not to lose it. But in all honesty, that’s the most you can do. Because it’s not in your control to get in touch with a freaking ghost.

And no, you’re never going to visit any of those ghost-whisperers. Even if ghosts do exist, which, seemingly, they do, the ghost-whisperers could always scam you, of course. All they need is a good business opportunity. The problem with such stuff is that one will never know if they’re being truthful or not. So people prefer picking the negative side, thinking they’re being deceitful.

Of course, in a lot of media, ghosts are portrayed as evil beings, which is why believing in them is frowned upon and considered to be a sign of the personality of the person, assuming they’re evil and believe in or practice black magic. You find it so funny, but also interesting. Who started all this psychology stuff anyway? Why couldn’t we have stayed sane and been the same? But then, that would be a sign of communism. Ugh, what even is this? Maybe humans are better off brainless.

Damn, I got all deep there. This might as well start another dumb controversy. But then again, I’m sure all this exists but not where I am. You think to yourself, stopping any more weird thoughts, thinking you’d better leave such thoughts to people who earn for these theories.

You go about preparing dinner, knowing that you will probably not be able to do anything but sit and wait for Sunghoon’s communications. And to wait until Jisung finally confesses that he thinks you’re insane and that you should definitely visit either a therapist or an asylum.

“Honey, I’m bored!” is the quote that marks Yunjin’s entry. “You’re bored?” You ask, used to Yunjin’s use of affectionate nicknames. “Yeah. I’m bored of all the drama. I wanna go away on a deserted island and never return.” Yunjin sighs, plopping on the couch. “Oui, I agree. You should go, and never return. Go, live your life.”

“Ouch. But you’re right. I’ll probably go on hiatus from all my social media and visit Hawaii.”

“Hawaii is so generic. But you do you. Anyway, dinner’s served.” You say, placing a plate in front of her. “You know what? I’m going to do this. I’m going to live by myself. Unless you wanna join. But I doubt you can.”

“Yeah, I can’t. Book your flights and send me your itinerary.”

“Ugh, never mind. I can’t randomly do this!” Yunjin cries, between mouthfuls of her food. “Why not? You deserve it. You’ve been working so hard but you’ve never had a solo trip.”

“You’re right.. but I can’t. You’re too fragile to be left alone.”

“You treat me like a patient sometimes.”

“Because you are, Y/N. You don’t know how bad we hurt inside when we saw you. You were a shell of the real Y/N. Now that you’re recovering, in a way, I can’t bear to go and see something happen to you.”

“You’re being too serious. Just go away for a week. Kazuha is here, and so are my friends. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Ugh.” Yunjin gets up to place her dish in the dishwasher, as do you. “You need to relax. Believe me.”

Yunjin stays silent, trying to think about it. “Kazuha is here, Yunjin.”

“Fine. I’ll go. But I’ll hear about anything that happens to you. Believe me. And yeah, I’ll send you my itinerary.”

“Yes!” You hug her, glad she’s getting a break, and glad that you’ll be alone when Sunghoon’s real visit will occur.

—————— 🦢

The next day, you walk into the office in a better mood, glad that you’d figured out what to do the previous night.

“Good morning, Y/N.” You hear a deep male voice, and jump to see Jisung. “Hey, Jisung. Where’s Kazuha?”

“Getting coffee for you.” He says, moving aside to let you sit down. “Ah, I see. Did Niki meet with the producer? I’d arranged a meeting for him with that artist from Karina’s company.” You ask Kazuha, who enters with your coffee. “Yeah, he left. He told me to thank you around a thousand times before he entered the meeting room.” Kazuha grins, offering Jisung a biscuit.

“Thanks, Ms Nakamura. Um, Y/N, I need to talk to you.” Jisung winces lightly, and you immediately understand what he wants to talk to you about.

“Sure, we can walk a bit.” You offer, finishing off your coffee. Kazuha stares after the two of you, and you shrug, not knowing what to tell her.

“So.. I thought about it, and maybe you’re not so insane. And I want to help you. But I don’t know what to do.” Jisung says as soon as you are out of earshot of anyone. “You can’t really help me, Jisung. Just don’t say anything to anyone, and if you don’t mind, offer me some advice if I ever need it.” You tell him, and he nods slowly, walking silently.

“Doesn’t it seem weird to you? Like, I don’t even say anything, just accept that you talk to certain people? And offer you help with them, too?” Jisung asks you thoughtfully, and you smile softly. “I guess it does, yeah.”

Jisung stays quiet, a trait of his you find nice. The two of you walk in peace, reaching back to your office just in time for Kazuha to open the door. “Oh, haha, I was about to come after you guys. Y/N, I need to leave, there’s some problem at my friend’s place. I’ll be back in an hour, tops.”

“Okay, no worries. Take your time. And if you need anything, my line’s open. You only need to call.”

“Thanks, Y/N. Um, I prepared a schedule for you, check it out. It’s on your table. You don’t have much, really.” Kazuha smiles and leaves, thanking you profusely before she exits.

“Woah, I forget you’re the CEO sometimes.” Jisung says jokingly, and you laugh. “Yeah, yeah. This CEO has to get to work, so, yeah.”

“I get it, I need to go. Bye! I have work, anyway. I only came to the building to speak to you.” Jisung shrugs, waving behind him as he leaves. You grin to yourself, preparing for your meeting with NewJeans.

“Hello, Ms. L/N!” Hanni, who is the main correspondent for the contract signing, enters, a bright smile on her face. The rest of NewJeans follows her, smiling and bowing at you. “Hello. I’m glad you are going ahead with the signing, NewJeans. How are you guys feeling? Can I get you anything to drink, or eat?”

“Nope, all of us ate our breakfast and got here.” Hyein said, and Minji nodded. “Yeah, but water would be good.” You nod and buzz someone to get five glasses of water. The glasses arrive as asked for, and the girls drink up.

“So, let’s get this meeting started. Firstly..”

After the meeting, NewJeans take a picture with you to post once the news of the contract signing gets out. NewJeans has been an amazing group, you think, as you walk them out the building. “Thank you, NewJeans. Let’s have a great year ahead of us! See you in May.” You wave, watching as they leave.

You enter the building again, glad to be back in the business rush again. You feel the need to be productive at times, and this definitely satiated that desire. “Y/N! I’m back. How was the meeting?” Kazuha greets you in your office, looking up from her laptop.

“Great. They’re nice people. Can’t wait to work with them.” You smile, and ask about the incident at her friend’s home. “Oh, no, it wasn’t that serious. My friend’s ill, and the person taking care of her had to go out for some urgent work. So I took over for a bit.”

“Is your friend okay?” You ask, worry filling you. “Yeah, she’s having a pneumonia attack. Not that serious, but she is supposed to be under bed rest, so I went and got her breakfast.”

“Okay, let me know if you need anything delivered to her place, I’ll get it done.” You offer, knowing that’s the most you can really do for Kazuha. “Thank you, Y/N. Anyway, you’re free until after lunch. I've arranged a meeting with NewJeans’ manager and CEO to discuss further contract details.”

“Great. Thanks, Kazuha. But I’m not looking forward to it.” The CEO of NewJeans’ company is known to be nice, but is sometimes too nice. It gets a bit creepy for you, personally, but Mr Song is generally a welcoming person.

“I know. But their manager is a nice person, so hey, that’s a plus point!” Kazuha points out, shutting her laptop and stretching her back. Kazuha enjoys ballet, and so is always stretching something or the other. But all your employees can’t help but to ask her about her posture, because it, quite frankly, is perfect. In fact, Kazuha is asked for posture classes almost every day.

“Yeah, I guess.. anyway, you can take a break. Want something to eat?” You offer, and Kazuha shakes her head. “No, I think I’ll take a walk. Also, what’s this I hear about Yunjin going on hiatus?”

“Yeah, she’s going to—“

“Yeah, some island, I know. But is she fine?” Kazuha asks, and you shrug. “She says that, but I don’t know, I just guess she’s getting tired of the influence lifestyle. To be fair, I wouldn’t blame her either. But I’m sure she’ll be fine. You should talk to her.”

Kazuha nods, zoning out, as she exits your office with a pen in hand. You smile offhandedly, jotting down some information about the NewJeans contract so you can prepare for the meeting.

“Ms Y/N?” You hear Niki’s voice from outside your door, and you yell for him to enter. “Thank you for setting up that meeting. My fans will be excited for this collaboration. Anyway, a week until my album releases and I leave. I’m honestly scared. What if my fans don’t like me?” Niki afflicts himself with unnecessary thoughts, and you sigh, settling behind your desk comfortably.

“You have nothing to worry about. Niki, you’re such an accomplished artist. And so young at that! This album is something your fans will never forget, seeing as it’s written by you. Besides , this collaboration has never been seen before. The artist never collaborated with anyone. Ever. Don’t hurt yourself with such thoughts. We at the company will make sure no one ever forgets the name Niki.”

“Thank you, ma’am. But it’s really not easy stopping those thoughts. I guess we learn, eventually. Anyway, enough about me. I don’t wanna spend my last week all emo. What’s going on with you, ma’am?”

“See, you call me ma’am, then get all casual. And what’s an emo?” You ask him, genuinely confused. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re really old, aren’t you? It’s a meme, I guess, but it means emotional. Like, a depressed type of thing, but it’s used ironically or sarcastically most of the time.” Niki shakes his head, disappointed, while you scowl. “I may be old, but I’m not that old, Nishimura Riki.”

“Oh. Full name. It is my time to leave. Au revoir, mademoiselle!” Niki rushes out the door, leaving you laughing.

—————— 🦢

Just another day left until Sunghoon said he would visit, and you’re feeling a bit jittery. Yunjin is leaving today, and you’re currently at the airport to say goodbye.

“Y/N, don’t forget to call me if you need anything, okay?—“

“Flight 777 boarding. I repeat, Flight 777 boarding. Passengers need to get aboard now.”

“Yeah, yeah, Yunjin, you don’t wanna miss your flight, okay? Go away now. Bye!” You wave and walk away as Yunjin keeps saying something. She ends up rolling her eyes and turning, waving without looking at you.

Kazuha couldn’t come with you as she had to go look after her friend, who was healing, luckily. But she did video call you to say goodbye to Yunjin, who has switched off her main phone and bought a flip phone so you and Kazuha can contact her.

You get back home, exhausted. You spend the rest of the day by yourself, treating yourself to takeout and binge watching a series on the TV. You’d taken a leave of absence from the office today, which, in retrospect, seems like a good decision.

The next day, you walk into the office, incredibly jittery, anticipating the visit at any minute. You hate this feeling so much, but what could you possibly do, anyway? You sit in the office, looking at the proposed building renovations to include more practice rooms and recording studios and reducing the break rooms. You do not like the renovations any better than the jitters you’re getting, but since the board had suggested it, you don’t have a choice but to go through them.

“Y/N!” You jump immediately, papers scattering everywhere. “I won’t tell you to chill, but relax. It’s Jisung.” You sigh in relief, as Jisung helps you sort the papers.

“It’s not my business, I know, but did Sunghoon visit you?” He asks, and you shake your head in reply. “No. Can’t you tell? I’m so nervous. I don’t know what he even has to say. What can a dead lover say?”

“Well, in my experience, nothing, because I’ve never had a dead lover.” Jisung shrugs, sitting on the windowsill. You sigh. “Yeah, I wish I knew someone — on second thought, I don’t wish. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”

“Good, cause if you’d said what you’d wanted to, I’d have walked out a minute ago.” Jisung says, pretending to exhale in relief, placing a hand on his chest.

“Hey, I’m not a sadist.” You point out, narrowing your eyes at him. He raises his hands, saying, “Hey, I wouldn’t know, you know.” “Yeah, well, how would I know if you wouldn’t know?”

Jisung laughs, and you smile.

“Y/N?”

Jisung’s jaw drops, as you turn to look Park Sunghoon square in the eye. “Is this.. your boyfriend?” He asks, and your eyes go wide, looking at Jisung.

“No, of course not. If you’re jealous, you don’t really have a reason to be.” Jisung says, matter-of-factly, but you know that’s not a great reassurance for Sunghoon. “Okay. Anyway, can you get out?”

“No. You’re being kind of selfish, don’t you think? Y/N needs support. I know you’re a Gwisin, and all that. I was there when you delivered that note. Y/N has been so nervous as of late. You’re being so rude. Think about her, too. It’s not like I’ll blabber anything to the media. What the heck would I say?”

“Sunghoon..” you say, and Sunghoon sighs. “Ugh, I don’t have the time for this. Y/N, I’m here as a Gwisin because I can’t move on for a while. Um. I don’t really know why I saved up energy for this, but I just wanna tell you that you should move on. And you should leave the room, I have something to say to this clown.” Sunghoon nods at Jisung, who scowls. You quietly leave, not having anything to say. You’ve never seen Sunghoon this way, which scares you just a bit. You did your own research on Gwisin the other day, and found that they can be harmful sometimes. As much as you don’t wanna leave Jisung unarmed, you trust Sunghoon enough to use his senses as much as possible. Besides, you do have to guard the door, so that no one (read: Kazuha) enters and freaks out and possibly sends you and Jisung to the hospital to get psychologically evaluated.

You hear nothing, which is reassuring, unless Sunghoon— never mind, you won’t think about it, you decide. You pace in front of the door for a while, until you hear the lock open slowly.

“Y/N?” Jisung asks, and you nod. “Yeah, Jisung. Are you fine?”

“Yeah, I am. He didn’t do anything to me, relax. He just wanted to check on you, because he knew you would lie.”

“But—“

“I don’t even know you that well? Think again. I’m friends with Niki, who’s now friends with Yunjin, who’s your roommate and is also close to Kazuha.” Jisung says, as if he explained everything with that statement.

“Okay.. and that helps you how, exactly?”

“Well, to put it simply, we gossip about you occasionally.”

“It’s barely been a week since you know Yunjin and Kazuha.”

“What can I say? Niki and I are incredibly social.” Jisung shrugs, and you sigh. “Is that all he told you?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Jisung says, looking at you. “He left just like that?” You ask, and Jisung shrugs. “Yeah. Why?”

“Oh, I’m expecting a note from him right about… now.” You say, and immediately a note flies in from the window. “You should really start shutting your window, Y/N.” Jisung says, massaging his nose bridge in annoyance.

You look at the note, prepared for anything at this point.

Y/N,

I want you to be happy. Are you happy? Don’t lie, which I know you will, so don’t even bother answering. You need to move on. I don’t wanna be selfish, but I don’t want you to. But you need to. It’s for your own good. I.. I think Jisung is nice. He’s nice to you. I don’t like him, but he’s good for you. As a friend, or whatever. But you can’t stay hung up on me. I know you have important work in May. And you need to get a hang of yourself. You’re a mess, quite frankly.

I’m sorry for disrupting your life the way I did. Thing is, as a Gwisin, I need to accomplish what I want to until I can move on from this world. This world is the underworld, in simple terms, and where all Gwisin exist, whether good or bad. I’m the good kind, I promise.

I’m so sorry. I really am. But please, please move on. It may seem difficult now, but enjoy life. Fall in love again.

Yours,

Sunghoon.

You look up from the note, trying to not cry and sigh at the same time. “Y/N? Are you fine?” Jisung asks you, concerned at the obvious tears in your eyes.

“I’m. Fine. I swear.” You tell him, blinking back tears rapidly. “Yeah, you are. Sure!” Jisung says, letting you deny your tears and watching your face, making sure you don’t harm yourself in any way.

“I really am.” You insist, aggressively wiping your tears away. “Yeah.” Jisung nods slowly, and you give in to your tears. “I can’t believe he expects me to move on so easily. First my dad falls ill, then I lose Sunghoon. Why does life wanna kick my ass at any given opportunity? I don’t get it. I do want to fall in love. But it’s not easy. I just want to move on from this too. I wanna start a new life. But I can’t. Because I’m tied to all of this. Why’d Sunghoon have to die? If he had to, why couldn’t I have gone with him?” You cry, and Jisung walks to be next to you.

“Y/N, Sunghoon is going to expect you to move on. He knows it’s not easy. I’m sure he does. And I’m also sure life doesn’t wanna kick your ass. This is all just a test. Life isn’t easy for anyone. What happens, happens for a reason, okay? Once that gets through your head, life is much more tolerable. You didn’t die for a reason. You’re so strong. You help out whoever you can, whenever you can. You’re nice to everyone. You work hard. You try to lessen the burden on other people. You took over your dad’s business without a single second’s hesitation. That takes a lot of courage. You’re strong. You just need to understand that. You have the ability to do anything, Y/N. Do you know how good that feels? You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be crying. You’d be figuring out if you can move on right now. And if not right now, you’d be estimating when you would. Y/N, you might not wanna hear this, but get a grip.” Jisung says, and you breathe in, jaw agape.

“Sorry. Did I overstep? Please tell me if I did, I don’t wanna cross any—“ you interrupt Jisung’s blind blabbering with a bear hug, causing him to choke on air.

“Thank you.” You tell Jisung. Jisung pats your back a little awkwardly, letting you hold him.

—————— 🦢

The next day, you meet with Kazuha at the office, and ask her if she wants to stay overnight at your place.

“I would, Y/N, but I promised my friend I’d stay over at her place. She’s finally recovered, by the way!” Kazuha exclaims, and you smile. “Of course, you should go to her place. I’m so glad she recovered. Listen, send me her address, I’ll send her a gift. And tell me what she’s allergic to.” You say, and Kazuha sighs. “You are so extravagant sometimes.”

“You guys love me for it.”

“Oh well. Can’t argue with facts, can we?” You and Kazuha laugh and continue with work.

You and Jisung haven’t spoken about anything except work related matters, and, to be honest, you are kind of offended. It’s not everyday you get to see your boss, or whatever you are to Jisung, getting haunted by her dead lover’s ghost. And, deep down, you thought that the two of you were friends. Thought, in past tense.

I don’t think friends let their friends forget that they’re there for them after a haunting. You think, rolling your eyes as you swivel around in your chair.

“Y/N, Jisung’s here to see you.” Kazuha says, raising an eyebrow at you, asking the security guard to let him in.

“What are you raising your eyebrow at?” You ask, and Kazuha shrugs, raising her other eyebrow too. “Nothing, just.. he’s been visiting you a lot lately..”

“What are you getting at?” You ask, a slight cleft forming in your forehead. “Nothing, it’s just.. are you dating him? Or do you like each other? Not judging. Not judging, for sure. Just wanna know.” Kazuha assures you, and you look her dead in the eye.

“No.”

“Hey, Y/N. Um, is this a bad time?” Jisung enters and pauses, seeing the glare on your face. “No, this is the perfect time. I’m leaving.” Kazuha says, walking out without a single word, winking at you as she leaves.

“So, Jisung. Why’ve you been radio silent?”

“Uh? I’m sorry? It’s been a day.” Jisung grins offhandedly, and you frown. “I thought you were nice.” You say, and wince immediately. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Um, I was busy with something, so I couldn’t call. But you could have called. I would’ve spoken to you for at least a minute.” Jisung says, and you sigh. You’ve gotten attached, you fool. Just because someone wants to be friends doesn’t mean you go and do this.

“Ha ha. Yeah. I could’ve. Sorry. My bad. Anyway. How are you?” You ask awkwardly, and Jisung shrugs. “Good, I guess. You?”

The wind whooshes aggressively and you shudder. “What’s up with the wind, all of a sudden?” Jisung asks, shutting the windows.

“I think it’s Sunghoon.” You say, shivering lightly.

“You guessed right.” Sunghoon appears, and Jisung sighs. “Y/N, I’m really hopeless at the deep speech thing, so I’m gonna talk to Jisung. If you don’t tell her, I will.”

“Tell her what?” Jisung asks, and you look at the two carefully, trying to look for any signs of a secret. Obviously, there is one, but you do want to try out your observation skills. “What we discussed yesterday.”

“Oh. No. You won’t tell her, that’ll make it weird. Don’t do it. It won’t benefit either of us.”

“But it will benefit me!” You exclaim, and the two ignore you. “I might.”

“You’re selfish.”

“You can’t say that for everything, Park Jisung. Y/N—“

“Shut up!” Jisung yells, covering your ears, or trying to. “What is it?” Annoyed, you prise Jisung’s hands away from your ears, and glare at him.

“Oh, Jisung has a crush on you.” Sunghoon says, and Jisung goes red.

“Sunghoon, are you playing matchmaker with your ex-girlfriend who’s only your ex because she’s alive and you’re not?” You ask, pissed off.

“Jeez, just admit it, you’re growing a crush on him too.” Sunghoon says, annoyed too. “Am not!” “Are too!”

“You two really were meant for each other.” Jisung says, still bright red. “We get it.” You and Sunghoon chorus, and stare at each other, angry.

“Oh, my God. Y/N, you are growing a crush on Jisung.” Sunghoon says, and you roll your eyes. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I’m right, I know. Anyway, I guess it’s time to explain why I’m being so unconventional. Jisung knows already, and he’s a huge part of the reason.

“Apparently, my last dying wish was for you to be happy, and I guess it’s the truth. Well, the point of it is for you to fall in love. And until you do, I’m going to be a Gwisin. And my powers are fading away, so I think you do like him, just a little bit. But that little bit helps me move on. I don’t want your feelings to be fake, because that won’t work. But my powers really are going away. I’m glad, Y/N. Jisung really likes you. I can tell. I feel like the new Cupid. But anyway, if you like him, good for you. I’m happy as long as you are.”

You watch as the shimmery Sunghoon becomes a bit more transparent, and suddenly understand a lot about him as a Gwisin. “Shit. Sunghoon. Don’t go. Just stay, but don’t be a Gwisin.”

“I am always with you. You just won’t get to be able to confirm it any more. Don’t worry, I can be in touch until you start falling in love. And you can’t deny your feelings, nor can you fake them. But I just can’t appear anymore.”

Jisung watches as you attempt to hug the faded Sunghoon, and watches you break down, and helps you up.

—————— 🦢 A YEAR LATER, JUNE 1.

“Ms L/N!” NewJeans greets you, and you smile. “Congratulations. I hear your relationship press release went well?” Minji congratulates you, and you smile brightly. “Yeah, it did. I’m so happy. And I’m happy you guys are so successful. And the collaboration with Niki went so well.” You compliment them, and they smile.

“Speak of the devil.” Niki enters the room, and shakes your hand. “Really? My choreographer?”

“I’m sorry, okay? He’s so nice. And sweet. And—“

“Please, don’t. He’s my choreographer.”

“I—“

“Goodbye.” NewJeans and Niki leave, leaving you confused.

“Hey, Y/N.” Jisung smiles as he enters, hugging you. “The press release went so well.” He says, and you laugh. “As it should have. Everything’s getting better. My father is recovering well, Mum got a break when I took over Dad’s healthcare, Yunjin quit the full time influencer gig and works part time now, Kazuha is chairman, and I’m still CEO with a boyfriend and a lot of friends. A year ago, I was a mess.”

“Well, you were a mess, yeah. Cheers to the mess-free Y/N of 20XX!” Jisung brings out a water bottle, and you reach under your desk to take yours.

“Cheers!”

—————— 🦢

After work, you go back to your home, which you bought for yourself, so Yunjin could leave alone.

You sit in your study, and bring out a blank letter and start writing.

From, Y/N.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m grateful. Thanks to you, I’m happy. Or happier. I’m able to get up and not think of you, some days. When I do, I don’t cry anymore. I know you want me to be happy, so I smile and think of us. I think I’ll always love you. I hope you will too, even if you’re still dead and I won’t ever get a message from you. But I love Jisung, too. And I’m glad you can finally rest in peace. I’m happy if you are happy, too. I just wish we wouldn’t have to end the way we did sometimes, but I guess it can’t be helped. Some character development, right?!

I write these letters so that I can get my feelings out and direct them somewhere. But I think I’m going to stop soon. My relationship press release went incredibly well. Of course, there were the odd questions here and there about you, but they really can’t be helped.

I miss you. But I miss you as a best friend, for sure. I don’t miss you as a lover anymore. And frankly? I don’t ever want to, again. I love you, but I am letting go.

We didn’t deserve what happened to us. We really didn’t. And I wish it never happened. But I am moving on. I need to. So, Park Sunghoon, goodbye.

I love you.

Then, now, and always.

To: Park Sunghoon.

P.S. I Hope You’re Happy.

P.S.S. I used to listen to this song called In My Dreams. Back when I was way too hung up on you. And I love that song. If you ever get to listen to music whenever you are, please listen to it. I want that song tattooed. I might do it soon. Love you a lot.

—————— FIN.

51 notes · View notes