#anyway. blurgh

[linguisticparadox]

I got my siblings raspberry pi zero w kits for christmas so they can set up pi-hole and I'm trying to save them a lot of trial-and-error hassle by typing up simple instructions but. it's hard when I don't even know what routers they have? bc that can complicate things.

ugh I better make sure they don't have fucking AT&T

anyway I'm doing the desktop environment version of the os bc I don't feel like coordinating getting their router logins and fucking IP ranges or whatever to do headless setup, and setting up wifi via the command line is a little weird so the lite os wouldn't work either (again I am trying to keep this simple). Plus idk how complicated SSH is for headless setup, I've never done it and even though I'm sure I could I don't wanna add on any weirdness for them to deal with. but I'm like. should I go so far as to install the os's for them or is just imaging the sd cards enough...

I also keep having to fight the impulse to be like "well I don't want to do all the FUN STUFF and leave none for THEM!" because like. I Am An Outlier in that respect I think.

[pollyannawog]

A comic about doing the dishes

[thefastestclockintheuniverse]

I also like the... okay I'm not gunna have the vocab here... but like the meme-like quality of discrete jokes that reoccur across homestuck. They don't have to be in terms of language and tone - they're also visual, seen in panel set ups etc - and there's literally hundreds of them. But this one caught my eye as v enjoyable in Act 1. If I can find more sophisticated language to describe the concept I'm on about here, I'll post more about it as I run into more examples on subsequent nights!

[nyamiamnyam]

i can no longer hide behind academic anxiety to not process grief anymore!!!!

[crystal-grotto]

//I love Schrödinger sleeps

[figofswords]

hrghhh I really gotta finish second circus

[sonic-spirit]

Thinking. Thinking about stuff.

I don't remember what my sketchbooks used to look like when I used them more for drawing in and less for scribbling out my thoughts about stuff. And they're Away in The Storage, so I can't flip through them endlessly and mostly unseeingly to "check".

And I want to blog and stuff more. I want to use my webseat for blog-type things that are maybe on the too personal for everywhere places, and other places to...be visible?

So this all checks out. Yeah, tentatively trying out typing out thoughts and things again where I was previously grabbing my sketchbook.

And really, I was doing both, whichever was closer at hand. I think I prefer typing these things out with a keyboard, followed by writing them out longhand, followed finally by typing them on my phone. But my writing them out longhand basically means I won't re-type and crosspost them, and typing them on my phone I do have a chance of doing so. So. -_- I just hate the optics. Hate what it looks like tooling around on my phone. Frivolous.

Not that I'll be whipping my current sketchbook out much in front of people. Too big.

In a 8.5" x 11" hardcover right now. Eez big. Lorge. Sprawling outside the confines of a lap. Historically I hated hardcover sketchbooks? I think because of difficulties with scanning? But also how Lorge. But having smaller books I could open to a two-page spread was really nice, and I was suuuuper cramped in last sketchbook that was just. A Terrible sensory experience. So this is pushing back directly on that, and embracing some of the things on some of the books I'd been in briefly recently that I really liked before needing to move on cuz "falling apart" is not good.

Blurgh. Kinda in a funk over my own sketchbooking since watching this vid on Saturday. Shouldn't, but do. Been trying to do more drawing in my sketchbooks (plural, cuz again, falling apart and sensory nightmare) this year, instead of so much handwritten scratch.

Photo of the one (1) other sketchbook I have in the apartment right now. Cuz it's got Sonic HRT script in it.

Buuuuut what I been doing in my sketchbook this month now feels too structured. My sketchbooks have never had the plasticity of experimentation I've seen in a lot of the other artists' I've loved looking through. ^_^;; Honestly, a lot of the really awesome ones have looked like Gabby Caldera's there. Explorative, willing to try different things, freeing. IDK. I don't really fiddle with experimentation that way. So now instead of doing dumb drawings that may be too structured, I'm struggling and not drawing.

Blurgh. Brains, amiright?

Elsewise, I bit the bullet and signed up for the summer session with a local community college to start knocking out some bio and chem classes to gear up to try and become a vet. UC Davis is a couple hours away and incredible, and/or me immigrating as a student seems more likely than with my current credentials. So taking some classes to set up for success and show I'm serious while I hafta wait to apply anyway feels better. More proactive than just waiting and worrying.

I have an appointment scheduled with a councilor next week, and I'll also be able to sign up for classes next week, too. So yay.

So with that release from finally acting on this idea got me thinking (again) about learning to make games. I watch a lot of Rattle YouTube videos about horse games (her videos are actually what got me into playing Star Stable Online, which directly led to me actually trying to become a horseback riding instructor, and got me here now), and one of the crazy common threads of frustration through new horse games is, "Yeah, and we'll totally have dressage in this game!" to, "And we'll have breeding, and genetics, and every single breed you've never heard of, and showjumping, and cross country, and customizable stables, and x y z," to, "Whoops! No dressage after all!"

Like, a lot of the games Rattle talks about fall apart. Horse games is a small, dramatic pool. But I listen to so many of her videos, and I keep having the thought, "Shit, dude. Why does nobody just make a dressage game?"

And yeah. Why does nobody just make a dressage game? Like, it's not flashy, but there's plenty to try and do with it.

So yeah. Been kicking around the idea of learning to make games for a few months, and now...? With the pressure off, maybe I'll try? Watched some Unity tutorials, and maybe you could rig up a collecting minigame from the Unity Flappy Bird Tutorial?

Might be doable. And though I'm not a dressage guy, I am always super into learning more about good riding and expanding my teaching skillset. Like, I'm not gonna stop teaching while I start classes this summer. And I currently don't know how to teach collection, and I reject, "Idk, you just gotta feel it," as an acceptable way to teach.

So yeah. Long road to utility there, but could be a thing. IDK. One step at a time. And again, if nothing comes of it, or I drop the idea next week, or I get overwhelmed and Can't when classes start, no harm, no foul.

[grucylover]

A scene from my fanfic I’m writing. hope I’m getting it ‘right’ lol it’s from DM2 Gru and Lucy getting engaged, there’s a whole more that goes on but yeah lol spoiler!!!!! I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m not a writer or anything so it’s not great but yeah… lol 🤷🏻‍♀️……

Margo, Edith and Agnes were helping Gru get ready in their bedroom. The black suit and tie he was wearing fitted him rather well over his teddy bear framed torso. Tonight wasn't just any old night, or even one of Gru and Lucy's many typical dates, it was there 147th date to be exact, there special number, Gru remembered.

'No one really knew why it was there special number, but it just was, maybe one day we will find out'.

"There..now it looks perfect," Margo said finishing up straightening Grus blue bow tie. ''And oh, do you have the ring?'' She asked him beaming.

Though Gru could feel the weight of the box in his right pocket of his suit, he still checked for the thousandth time, it was of course, still there. He was just simply, nervous AF and he's brain was going at one thousands miles a second.

Gru - "Check".

Edith - ''The flowers?''

Gru - "Check, check''.

Agnus - ''The candy?".

Gru - "Check, check, check!".

Gru then picked up the the pink heart shaped box of chocolates from the girls desk he had brought for Lucy, somehow the box felt lighter. He had a peak inside and frowned.

'"Oh I accidentally ate one or two..or maybe it was three or four, five....", Agnes said so innocently now counting her fingers.

"Blurgh, seriously Agnes", Gru said rolling his eyes but smirking to himself and placed them back down on there desk. Luckily, he seen the funny side of it and he couldn't be mad with his sweet little Agnes, especially with her puppy dog eyes. He hoped that Lucy would understand why some of her heart-shaped chocolates were missing as there was nothing he could do about it now. Kids will be kids and all.

Gru glanced at himself in the girls dressing table mirror and took a deep breath, 'this was it big guy, no turning back now'.

This was the night when it would all begin, well hopefully. Gru was going to ask his partner in crime, his girlfriend, the love of his life, the rookie agent herself that is Lucy Wilde, to marry him, at the place they did their very first mission, Paradise Mall. He had something quite 'spectacular' planned aswell. Well, he hoped Lucy would think it was something quite 'spectacular' anyway.

Gru and the girls had been organising this special moment for the past few months now. Ever since the day he told them he thought about marrying Lucy and got there blessings, the girls couldn't wait to get stuck in and come up with all sorts of ideas. They really loved her, she was like a real mum to them and that's all they ever really wanted. A mother figure to complete their family and missing puzzle piece, especially Agnes.

Gru was scared, like really petrified. They had been 'dating' for just over shy of two years now and had passed many milestones in their relationship such as, the first date, insecurity's, intimacy, asking Lucy to be his girlfriend and to move in with him, but nothing came quite as close and committed as this, asking her to be his wife, to spend the rest of there lives together in his 'mad house' as he called it.

'What if she said no. Ugh!'. The thought was nearly unbearable to him right now.

"You guys think I really shud be doin' dis?...what if I make a nut job of myself and she says no?".

"We have been over this so many times Gru, it will all be fine and she will say yes, we just know it". Margo said rolling her eyes but reassuring the middle aged man.

Agnes - " You lover her, you love her, you really, really love her and I want to be a flower girl".

Edith - "Eeeewww gross".

Gru also rolled his eyes at his daughter's wild fantasies, I mean, she still could say 'no'. Why would she want to marry this 'bold', 'ugly' guy with the weird nose, he insecurely thought.

"The suit and tie?, do I look guud or.....too formal?". He turned to the girls but then turned back to the mirror, now straightening up his suit jacket once more as an argument took place in his head over it.

"Yesssss, It will show Lucy that you're really serious about all of this, like we have been over. You look great Dad". Margo persisted.

'Dad', it was always serious when they called him that.

.........................................

"Now gorls, it's time for bed, remember what we said, don't be waiting up for me to geet home and be good for da minions, I will see yu in da morning and tell yu all about it ok..". Gru said to the trio.

Margo, Edith and Agnes climbed into their bomb beds and chatted amongst themselves on what the possible outcome could be for Gru and Lucy tonight. Will she say yes or would she say no. That was the million dollar question on everybody's lips.

He tucked the girls up individually and kissed them all goodnight.

Edith - "Go get her Gru...".

"We'll be here Gru, waiting for you *yawn* - in the morning....". Agnes sleepily said whilst yawning and clutching her fluffy unicorn. Kyle (the dog?) was at the end of her bed rolling his eyes at the whole situation.

Margo was always the last one to be tucked in, so when it came to her turn she instantly threw her arms around her Father and placed a big kiss on his cheek.

"Good luck tonight Gru, we know you can do it...". He always loved the girls affection.

"We love you....Dad", the girls chorused. There was that magical word again, oh how his heart rendered. It must be his lucky night tonight if he got called "Dad", twice already.

"Goodnight my gorls, I love yu..". Gru said picking up the chocolates from there desk and took a few seconds to look on lovingly at his daughters, 'man, he loved them so much'. They had brought so much purpose and worth to his life, he would forever be thankful and he just couldn't imagine his life without them now, they were his.

He then switched out there bedroom light, shut there door behind him and made his way downstairs to let the Minions know the house rules so he could head out.

''Kevin Jerry, time for yu to watch de gorls, they are in bed, yu know de drill...".

"aaalllooommoooo", the two minions replied back to there boss. Atleast Gru knew what it meant, it sounded agreeing anyway….

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

you love ford

you are two

birds :)

yep yep and yEP!!

though ae will say, ae’m confused on whether to consider us two or four on account of the stan twins being here now. it’s complicated blurgh!!

your main lovelies will always be baal and ae though <3

(maybe two asterisk?)

anyway

🐔🐧🐦🐤🐣🐥🪿🦆🐦‍⬛🦅🦉🐓🦃🦤🦚🦜🦢🦩🕊️

🦇 and this is eleanor. the most beautiful of the birds (silly)

[merryslilhobbit]

Anyone squeamish should probably skip the next bit..

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So at the minute I appear to have both a chest infection and an infected abscess, which is pretty disgusting if I do say so myself. The antibiotics for the latter were pretty tough the first day or two. Now the combination of shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping (due to cough & the abscess being on the back of my shoulder) and lack of energy has me feeling blurgh.

But the worst thing about being sick? My appetite has fucking disappeared. I love my food. Probably too much. I have several delicious bars of chocolate and Easter eggs in my cupboard and it's so frustrating because I don't even want them 😭

Anyway, I'm taking tomorrow (and probably Tuesday) off work. Which actually means I'll be doing bits and pieces of work at home, but hey ho.

[niwolah]

if i'm not too late for the ask game: 2, 12, 14, and 16 (but please change that one to "have or want" not just "want"), please and thank you!

Hi, @smowkie! Thanks for the ask, I can always count on you, it's fun~ It's never too late to drop by, game or not!

So. Let's go.

2. Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

I don't like coffee! I've tried several times, with or without milk, with or without sugar, strong, light, it's always blurgh. So yeah, I drink tea instead. At first, I needed to put sugar. Now, I don't anymore. Never tried with milk but um, I don't want to. *shrugs* I like green and white teas better than black but I drink them all, I'm not picky.

12. Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

Okay, this question is actually hard... I'm not a hugger. But I like being hugged. Sometimes. Depending of who's hugging me. I don't even know.

So... Thinking really hard, I'd say @gloriousmooseman because she needs it nowadays. @cowboyincest too actually.

Um. Boyfriend? I mean, I go straight to him and put my head on his chest as soon as I come back home from work and he's there so... Although I'm not the one hugging... Damn.

*two minutes later* Oh. My grandfather... Life's a mean fucker to him for a long time now and I still haven't seen him for over two years... I'm too coward to go and see. (My Christmas letter explaining why is still laying on my dinner table...)

Do I really need to find a fifth person? Okay, um... My mum? I mean, she doesn't hug either but yeah. Imagine two non-hugger people hugging. Kinda awkward.

That said! If anyone needs a hug and ask me to, I'll hug them readily and without awkwardness! (Don't try to understand, I've stopped trying years ago...)

14. What's your favourite colour?

Ah! An easy one!

🔶️🧩🍊🦊🧡

16. Want/have any tattoos? What of?

I don't have tattoos and I don't think I want one anymore. I used to. I even had the design. But I couldn't find where to have it so... Eventually, I stopped wanting it. I still have the "drawing" somewhere. If not, it's easy enough that I can redo it since I'm the one having designed it in the first place.

Okay, the hug question was a slap in the face, omg. I really need to check on my grandfather, uh? *sighs*

Anyway, I'm glad you came and asked! Thank you~

[bluebeetle]

anyways since i dont have the energy to draw or write imma play some sims and go to bed i guess.... i rly do wanna work on stuff but ive been so. blurggghg. im hoping i can fix up my sleep schedule once my work schedule changes to sunday to thursday, which part of me is now iffy on bc i forgor the buses dont run at all on sundays and then remembered also now i have one less day to do stuff w/ my roommate and friends so that kinda sucks... but also i miss havin a week day off where i can get stuff done bc NOTHING is open sundays and everything important is mon-fri 9-5..... blurgh hate this all i actually kinda miss my work schedule from before minus the 12 hr shifts.... also need 2 ask bout what happens if theres a holiday on fridays

[sailor-galileo]

Just a little rant and whining

My mental health is in SHAMBLES MY DUDE. I'm tired and exhausted and blurgh. I really want to be left alone from work and responsibilities atm, I feel like I'm too tired to handle it. I know it's only a little less than 3 weeks until I have some time off of work but jesus christ that's gonna feel like a whole 'nother year. I was playing with the thought of calling in sick on monday but didn't do it because ✨️I'm not sick enough for that✨️ which we all know is a BS-excuse. Now that I'm in the middle of the week I have too much going on and way too many important responsibilities at work to just f off out of nowhere. My coworker is gonna be on parental leave for 2 months any second now and I need to take care of his projects. I know it's not my fault if were understaffed but the thing is, we're not actually understaffed. I do have the capacity to handle his work. But if I got sick now? Yea that would suck for my team and company (which I like, it's not like I work in a hellhole like I used to). ANYWAY HERE'S TO BITCHES LIKE ME who always so desperately try to manifest a good mental health mindset and yet can't seem to win. 💖 Cheers, ladies.

[ixalit]

I’m moving in less than two weeks and I can’t wait to have peace and quiet and time and finally fucking get back to writing and posting

[glowling-posting]

blurgh.. donnteven mention shampoo to me..

anyways nno that'snot. evenn close to what dandori is?? i have noclue what you aretalking about ???

hi ddo youhave. vents inyourr ship or otherwise tunnells . noreason...

.....

Why can I hear this echoing behind me. He. Hello?

[sonic-spirit]

Spinning on Horses

Blurgh. Spinning so hard on horses and blogging and crafting right now. So let's scratch the blogging itch a little, anyway.

Chaos, I want a horse of my own. Riding the lesson horses, particularly exercising the horses that aren't getting enough use as we get the new location running has been good, buuuut it's not quite scratching the same itch. Partially cuz I don't super feel like I'm learning/growing very much doing so (and I'm always second-guessing myself. Not like that will change much), and partially...not feeling like I'm getting a lot out of doing it? Which I'm p conflicted about. Wheee.

I'm so, so damn thirsty to try Endurance--Competitive Trail Riding really, but chaos. I want the community, the fun, the challenge. Ever since talking w/ A last week about her students' results at the show that weekend I've been burning to compete. I want to grow, and learn, and again, I want community. I want to have fun, I want friends. Heh, I guess I want it to also be a hobby.

Not a smart move to taunt myself with this, but I did check the local listings and came across a for a 13 year old Arabian gelding for lease for $300 per month, which...urgh, I want to do the things! I'm so broke, I can't even, but stilllll...It's tantalizing.

And then watching the crafting drama channel Emma in the Moment's vids is making me want to sell crafts. Chaos. I have crafts I want to make, after all. It'd be super cool to do those.

So then my dumb brain is all, "And then I can fund my horsing with craft sales! It'll be perfect!" Like running up a crafting business AND my jobs AND anything else that goes with having a life wouldn't be incredibly time consuming, and probably each block out each other. But regardless, brain still go brrrr...