#anyway. fuck that post and its rebuttals. im tired

[arodrwho]

that pathologizing/humanizing post and all the discourse surrounding it is driving me batty if i never see it again it'll be too soon. post block time

[negasonicimagines]

Hello / Wonderwall

good fucking night I haven’t posted in like a bajillion years I’m so sorry jdklfldkfjs “anyways here’s wonderwall” (lol anyone remember that meme) anyways this is inspired by two things 

1) this request:  i just listened to adele and my heart is shattered and my angsty soul loves it so could i ask you to write ellie x reader where they're not dating but reader has a crush on ellie and she finds out but neither of them want to be in a relationship because 'feeling things sucks and i dont wanna' something like that because they're both really closed off tough people. and they love eachother and dont want to and its complicated and ugh ANGSTY. im really sorry i hope you're having a great day!!😀💞💞 [btw sorry if i didn’t fill this properly i did my best but my writers’ block is literally THE WORST and has been for a really long time(duh)]

2) This really cool mashup of Adele’s “Hello” and everyone’s favorite Oasis song, “Wonderwall.” It fucking slaps and TOTALLY suits this imagine. If there’s any way you could listen to it and read this at the same time, I recommend it. It’s what I listening to when I was writing it (that and Adele’s “Chasing Pavements.”)

Anyways, enjoy! Who knows when the next one’ll be out, amiright?

Ellie didn’t like love. Even platonic or familial love was shrugged off. It just… Wasn’t her thing. It was too dangerous for mutants, the world. Forget emotions.

You’re new here, at the school. Wade’s forced you to quit your previous line of work, saying that “you’re too damn young to be killin’ people for a living!” You’d rolled your eyes, but agreed that a break would be nice. So, now, you’re being shown around by a charmingly bitchy girl that’s around your age, maybe a smidge older.

“This is the art room, and, um, that about covers it. So, uh, just go away now.”

“Are you not going to show me where my room is?” You ask, letting your eyebrows arch skeptically.

“And how would I know where your room is?” She inquires in response. Where she was the rude kind of standoffish, you were the polite, distant type.

“It’s the same as yours, Negasonic,” you carefully inform her, gauging her reaction.

“It’s- It’s what?”

“Did no one tell you?” you wonder. “That’s weird.”

“Very. Whatever, come on. At least you’re not extra annoying,” she sighs, and you follow her down to the dorms, your suitcase rolling behind you.

“Thanks,” you chuckle a little, and she twitches, her eyes flickering to yours for a moment. The ghost of a smile phases across her lips, disappearing just as subtly as it appeared.

“Alright, now…” She looks at her phone. “Yeah, now, it’s time for training. Depending on your mentor, you’ll have different times. Who’s your mentor?”

“Oh, uh, Emma Frost?” You tell her looking at your schedule.

“You’ll be with me, then. Training with me. Piotr and Ms. Frost’s students train together, I guess because they both have weird skin. Emma’s is temporary, but still. Let’s move.”

“Okay,” you respond, walking with her to the gym.

“If you need any sort of protective gear, it’ll be in the closet by the entrance.”

“I think I’ll be alright,” you say, taking what she said more as a challenge than a helpful tip. She scoffs, rolling her eyes.

But when you catch a glimpse of the light smirk she’s wearing, electricity sparks through you. (Not literally, don’t worry. Your mutation is different and not embarrassing in that way.)

Two weeks later, you and Ellie are fast friends...And maybe more.

“Gaga okay?” she asks.

“Duh!” you respond, scrolling through your twitter feed. “So, whose stans are we trolling tonight?”

“What’s your mutation, anyway? You never did say.”

“Ah, it’s lame,” you brush her off.

“Wade doesn’t think it’s lame… But that’s not really saying much, is it? Damn, sorry,” Ellie chuckles. She smiles more around you than anyone else, but you’re not sure why. Not yet.

“I just… People tend to think less of me when they hear. It’s a bit destructive.”

“You did not just say that to me,” Ellie delivers a surprisingly good rebuttal.

“Well, uh… Basically, by coming into direct contact with it through touch, I can temporarily gain access to their abilities and sometimes even their knowledge. If I consume it, it lasts longer or can even be permanent. Kinda perfect for a kill-for-hire. Not so much for a normal high school girl, though,” you admit shyly. Ellie’s dead silent.

You look to your crush, nervously, and she looks awe-struck.

“That’s so fucking cool. I wish I could become stronger by giving someone a bloody nose. I’d do it all the time. No wonder you killed people for a living.”

“If only everyone saw it that way,” you tell her with a relieved smile. “I can’t believe the stoic Ellie Phimister just called me cool.” Don’t blush, Y/N, don’t blush, you beg yourself.

“Don’t let it get to your head. I once called Wilson cool.”

“He’s not so bad. He’s the reason I’m here.”

“He is?” Remind me to thank him, she thinks. “Hey, listen. I know we didn’t get off to the best start, and uh… I just wanted to say that… I think you’re really awesome.”

“Well, thank-”

“No, that’s not what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say is that, uh… I’m not really much of a romantic or anything, but I really like you. And I normally wouldn’t ever tell a girl that I liked I like her, because then she would stop talking to me and also hate me forever, I think. But you seem…  Different.”

Oh shit. You’re glad your crush likes you back, but...I know what I have to do. I just fucking hate it. “Listen, I’m sorry for giving you the wrong impression, but I don’t like you that way. At all. You’re just my roommate that I really like as a friend. We probably wouldn’t even be friends if we weren’t roommates.”

“But we are roommates.”

“Then I should probably change rooms.”

“Wow. I never thought I’d be the asshole who turns into a, well, a fucking asshole when I get rejected, but I guess I am that kind of asshole. Maybe it’s because I know you’re full of shit. Fuck you, Y/N.”

You sigh, and she turns the music off as you leave the room, making your way to the offices. It’s the early evening, so it’s likely either Jean Grey or Professor Xavier is still in their office.

An hour later, you return. Your efforts were fruitless.

*Guess it’s likely time to make with the apologies, see if she’ll at least treat me with civility after the stunt I pulled.*

“I tried to get a room change. It looks like there isn’t anywhere else for me to go.”

“Then just get out of the school, you murderous scum,” Ellie fires.

*Guess not.*

“Oh shit,” you say, trying not to let the hurt show. She knew how insecure you were, how you just knew that’s what everyone here really thought about you. You’d told her that. Foolishly opened up to her, knowing it’d end like this, or worse.

But in the end, you knew you deserved it for pushing her away. Shattering her blackened heart.

“You’re right. I’ll start packing my things now.”

*Wait,* Ellie thought, but her pride had its hand over her mouth. Don’t go. Don’t be like everyone else.

But, faster than she thought possible, you’re out the door. Guess you hadn’t taken root in this place as deeply as she’d fooled herself.

There’s a knock on the door about ten minutes later.

“Go away!” Ellie yells, throwing a random textbook at the door.

“Why did Y/N leave?” Wade asks through said door.

“Because she’s a stupid fucking liar! Go away!”

“Oh yeah? Well, that stupid fucking liar is gonna get us both in trouble if she we don’t retrieve her, so get the hell up, Negasonic Punkass Mean Teen Queen!”

Ellie begrudgingly gets off her ass and opens the door, hoping that Wade doesn’t notice the eyeliner that’s lightly stained her cheeks, or, at least, that he doesn’t point it out. He seems to have enough courtesy to do at least the latter.

“Tracked her phone to here,” He says, looking at his own phone and walking towards a door. Ellie follows, but stands off to the side when he opens the door.

“Go away.”

“That’s funny, that’s exactly what your little girlfriend said when I knocked on her door.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” you disagree.

“Then why are you running away? You only run away when you like someone, you’re always willing to stick around for a fight. It used to be a good quality, when you were doing a job no kid should be doing. I really should’ve pulled you outta that life sooner, but I knew you wouldn’t’ve listened to me,” Wade admits, unintentionally explaining a *lot* about you.

“She’s not like you, Wade. She can die. I’m not risking that for some cheesy teen romance that’ll probably last around two dates and then fizzle off into us being acquaintances,” you argue, peeking out the window to notice you ex-friend, ex-something, at least, outside. Shit. But you know the truth:

“If you really felt that way, kid, you wouldn’t bother running away.” He continues in a grave, lowered tone: “You wouldn’t have bothered hurting her. If you were anyone else, I’d’ve kicked your stupid ass. You’re lucky.”

“I wouldn’t consider myself lucky.”

“Ellie fucking Phimister told you that she liked you. Like, as a person. You’re luckier than anyone else I’ve ever met.”

You roll your eyes. “Just go away. And take Ellie fucking Phimister with you.”

“Can’t say I didn’t try, kid.”

“I wouldn’t bother telling anyone about this. Go,” you say, slamming the door in his face and sliding down it to the ground, hiding your face in your hands. Your life was so unbelievably fucked.

You let yourself cry, thinking no one’s there to listen. And then there’s a knock on the window. You look to find Ellie there.

“Let me in, asshole,” she says, her voice muffled by the glass. You open the door, too tired to say no. You were so tired, you realized. Tired of running. Tired of fighting. Tired of being so fucking alone.

“You fucking idiot,” she says, pulling you in for a hug, her head buried in your chest. “You fucking idiot.” She pulls away, telling you: “You keep forgetting that I’m just as tough as you are. What am I gonna have to, arm wrestle you?”

You laugh harder than you should, the laughter dissolving into tears.

“I’m so sorry,” you tell her.”I just- I’m not used to people being safe around me. I’m so used to being the most dangerous person in the room, I- I’m sorry for forgetting that you’re- You’re a fucking force of nature, E. I’ll do anything for you to forgive me for being such a fucking scumbag.”

“Just shut up with the apologies, okay? You- Make it up to me by paying for our first date, yeah?”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea-”

“Well, I do. And, listen: I’m sorry, too. I should’ve realized that just throwing my feelings on you wasn’t the best course of action. I’m not the only person in the world with people issues, and I seem to forget that sometimes. So, let’s have people issues together, okay?”

“I-”

She fixes you with an impatient stare.

“Okay,” you sigh, smiling. “I paid for a night here, do you just want to stay?”

“Yeah. I’d like that, actually. I…”She hesitates, searching your expression for something. “I call big spoon.”