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memoriashell · 4 years

Text

hey i really like you ( can we go out? )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru, techincally some background Ishimaru / Oowada, Makoto gets a few lines, and Syo’s present for a bit in the begining.

crossposted on ao3

Notes: hello here's your late day five of @tokomaruweek week!! valentine's day prompt!!

the format for the texting section might look a little funky on tumblr since there’s no easy way of aligning right side / left side text but hopefully it’s obvious enough who’s texting what.

heads up i'll be skipping day 6 for now probably! i’ll come back to it when i’ve finished the rest of the week, i just might get stuck on it for a hot minute and i’d like to get the rest of the week out of the way first since i'm already behind.

anyways it's probably also noteworthy to mention that this drabble works on the basis you have a basic understanding of the cultural differences in how japan celebrates valentine's day. i was originally going to try and incorporate white day into this drabble instead of just mentioning it but i wasn’t super happy with how this one was turning out anyways and figured it was best to just get this out as it is!!

i also feel like i should clarify bc that i realize the way i characterize toko in everything this week has made it seems like she hates kiyotaka’s guts but honestly i think they’d be real close!! i really like them as two outsider kids who can relate to each other. they are two sides of the same narrative coin and in this essay i will /j anyways please understand she rags on him from a place of ( platonic ) LOVE. and also bc they r both my cc’s i could never be that mean to either of them. well. no meaner than canon is to them.

edit: forgot tws. nothing super huge bc it's mostly fluff, but it does refrence bullying ( although would you consider faked love confessions / etc as bullying? it's just cruel :( anyways. )

Summary: valentine's day has never been good for ugly girls ( and hopeless romantics ) like her.

Valentine's Day. Every girl’s least favorite day.

Or, well, at the very least, her least favorite. Uh, one of her least favorite holidays? Then again, it’s not like Touko really has a ‘favorite’ in the first place, so maybe her point is moot— but she’s getting side tracked here.

One would presume that a romantic like her, an author who writes romance for a living, would live for a holiday that's practically centered around love and romance, but they would be wrong. It’s a miserable reminder of a day for her who has practically been scorned by the idea of relationships. It is a bitter reminder of failed loves and societal norms that she’s never been able to meet.

( Ugly. Rude. Awkward. Unsociable. So what if they’re right? Who is she to tell them they’re wrong? )

If it is not for the fact that she is pretty sure Ishimaru will be at her door if she doesn’t show up, she would probably skip class today. Oh, to be a confident gay man on Valentine's Day and not a closeted lesbian who feels the need to meet heteronormative societal norms. It’s unfair because not only is he ( mostly ) unaffected by this kind of holiday, he’s probably one of the people who care the least about the delicate social intricacies ( and romanticism ) of a holiday like this one. If nothing else, so she can’t say she envies the position this puts Oowada in, because Ishimaru would probably just see this as a learning moment. Anyways before she sounds too envious of her peers for getting their shit together, she just wants it to be unknown that she thinks it’s really unfair that he would get to judge her reasons for wanting to skip school.

( Actually, if she fessed up the deep-seated issues related to why she’d rather not have to be present on a day like today, the last thing he’d do it judge but that’s not really something she wants to acknowledge right now )

Moving on.

Despite the fact that, internally, she is making a fuss about a holiday, she suspects that most of her class probably doesn’t really care about these things. That doesn't mean she feels any less pressured to conform. It’s not like any of them would want chocolates from someone like her anyways, so it’s not like she really needs to be worried...

It’s not the end of the world, stop being such a debbie downer! Syo butts in, ever so helpful. By which she means is very, very unwanted and unhelpful. All the same, they ( unfortunately ) have a point and if she has to put up with this shitty day then at the very least she’d like to have breakfast before someone sees fit to break down her door.

You technically don’t have to do anything. Syo sounds almost too enthusiastic to help with the ‘issue’ at hand.

Using you to escape my problems isn’t always a viable strategy. Touko rebukes. Nor is it a choice, usually.

Only because you try and make yourself as miserable as possible by making things worse for you.

She has nothing to say to that, and instead focuses on braiding her hair to be passably presentable.

“Fukawa-san?” Oh, what she wouldn’t give to not have to hear her name today. Granted, Touko doesn’t think hearing her name being called on any given day is usually a good sign, but it still feels too early in the day to willingly put up with anything and shoots a glare at Naegi, standing in front of her desk. It probably doesn’t help that he sounds nervous for some godforsaken reason, but that’s technically not out of the ordinary, and she’s pretty sure Syo has something to do with that. “Sorry, uh...I was going to try and catch you at your locker this morning, but I guess I must’ve missed you, huh?”

She gives him the most deadpan, withering stare she can muster at the moment as if to say obviously. She’d even turned up to class early because she figured that dealing with whoever else would be in class would be more manageable than having to deal with anything going on in the halls ( because Hope’s Peak is not a normal school and god knows if something can go wrong, it will, and she is not having any of it today ). She assumed that if she looked busy, anyone with any common sense would leave her alone, but Makoto is not the brightest, clearly.

It still kind of throws her for a loop, however, that he chooses to approach her today, of all days. If she were anyone else, or if this exchange happened in any other context, she is sure that him acting like this on Valentine's Day would seem like it was setting up for a love confession. If it weren’t for the fact that Naegi already had a partner so, that’s probably not an issue— not that that would be a theoretical issue, because hey it’s not like Naegi was likely to be the kind of person cruel enough to fake a love confession. That’s definitely not something that’s happened to Touko before and gotten her hopes up only to be horribly crushed and definitely not the reason she’s been particularly defensive today. Nope.

( Yeah, okay, she’s not fooling anyone, but thankfully the only one aware of this is herself. And Syo, but both of these things are clear givens )

It occurs to her that Naegi hasn’t said anything, waiting for her to say something to him, and she grits her teeth irritably. “Wh-What? Spit it out already.”

“Err...are you...” He starts to say something and then seems to think better of it, sheepishly ducking his head for a moment before holding a bag out to her. “Sorry. Komaru asked me to bring these to you. Kirigiri-san had to convince her to not try and sneak into the main building just to bring these to you herself.”

It takes a long minute for her to process what he says before snatching the bag from his grip and holding it close to herself. Friendship chocolates...? That’s probably what’s in the bag. Which is a pretty nice thought in itself— Touko doesn’t usually get gifts like this. It almost makes her not want to touch the bag and ruin the illusion, refrain from eat whatever’s in the bag: but honestly if she doesn’t, Syo will probably make sure to savor it, so she won’t even pretend like that’s an option.

( There’s a part of her that feels a little guilty too, that she hadn’t even considered that Komaru might do something like this and have something prepared for her in return, but if she’d made something and not gotten anything then she’d look like a fool, and it’s not like she would’ve been able to get it to her easily anyways, so she really shouldn’t feel guilty about accepting it, but— )

“I’m glad you like it. She was kind of worried about how you’d take it.” Naegi speaking breaks through her current train of thought and is he still standing here? Had she been stupidly smiling to herself? How embarrassing!

“It’s n-n-not like that...and what kind of person do, do you take me for, anyways...!” Well, if she had been showing any sort of positive emotion on her face, she isn’t anymore. Touko takes this as an opportunity to shove the bag into her book bag, before anyone can notice. For some reason, he looks vaguely disappointed. “I was...ugh, I was just th-thinking that it was surprising she’d trust you with it given the, the track record with how your l-luck turns out!”

Makoto opens his mouth to refute this but thank god someone calls his name from the doorway, and she takes that opportunity goes back to her books before he can try and say anything further to her.

touko-chan!!!!

makoto said he gave you my gift successfully so i know u got it

i think

i didn’t expect u to thank me or anything but it’d be nice

pls tell me u got it right

did u at least read the note i left in there for u

Does Komaru not have homework, or what? She could at least give her a few minutes to try and get a word in. It’s not her fault math is a bitch and Touko is too stubborn to maybe talk to one of her peers into explaining the subject to her.

Yes, by some miracle I did manage to get it.

Thanks.

You’re a good friend.

Sorry.

Is that all? I’m busy.

That is not all, apparently, because Komaru forgoes texting to call her directly. If it were anyone else, she’d ignore it; but since it’s her she figures she can probably talk and do math at the same time.

“So you didn’t check the bag at all?” Komaru speaks before she can even consider greeting her, and Touko rolls her eyes despite the fact that she cannot see it.

“Hello to y-you too. Uh…honestly, I shoved it in my bag earlier and...and haven’t checked on it since. I assumed it was j-j-just candy, and it’s probably safer hid from Syo there.”

“Ugh! I told Makoto to mention to you that I put something else in there. And there’s a box for Syo in there too!” She can practically hear her pouting through the phone line. “Well, uh— I guess that’s fine since you’re busy...? Just check it when you get the chance, okay? Please? I promise it’ll make sense.”

“I got it, I got it. I’ll take a break once I finish this up and check it out. Good enough for you?”

“Mhm! Thank you Touko-chan! I’ll let you go now, so you can focus. Bye!” If Touko wasn’t mistaken ( but probably is ), she sounded almost nervous, the way her words come out in one rushed breath.

Admittedly, now she’s too intrigued by whatever had Komaru pressed enough to make sure she was aware of it, and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to focus now, so...opening the bag it is. She grumbles and groans to herself for a moment, stretching as she gets up from her desk to grab her bag.

She hadn’t really noticed at the time, but now that she thinks about it, there’s some definite weight to this thing, more than she’d expect from some candies ( even now knowing that apparently Komaru had accounted for Syo as well ). Not much though, and she probably would’ve just passed it off for the box the sweet is stored in if she were to really think about it, but now she figures that’s probably not the case. Touko peeks inside the bag a little hesitantly— curiosity wins out over anxiety in the end, and spots what appears to be a small booklet along with a box of chocolates.

Oh god.

She braces herself because, this is probably some kind of manga if she knows Komaru and ( unfortunately ) not a mini-novella but otherwise has no idea what to expect. And once she opens it, she has to thank whatever higher being made sure Makoto didn’t say a thing to her about it because there’s absolutely no way she would have been able to keep a straight face if she’d looked at this in class.

One, she forgot how generally talented Komaru was at this type of stuff. Obviously, still room for improvement, but not nearly as bad as Touko would have thought. Two, this is not really a manga, but a fucking thinly veiled love confession, complete with the most casual ‘Hey I really like you, can we go out?’ Third, she’s extremely glad Komaru did not insist on being on the phone while she checked this out because she does not think she can coherently answer that right now.

In fact, it takes Touko a good half hour to calm herself down enough before she can even consider texting her a response. There’s no way she’s embarrassing herself any further by calling her about it, even if that might have been a more meaningful exchange, but like Komaru just confessed to her through manga so clearly they’re already past that point.

You’re a dork.

I hate that you’re using your talents for this though.

thats not a no?

Not a yes.

Very tempted to make it a no for making me suffer through this.

touko-chan;;;;;

be gentle to my poor heart if ur gonna reject me :(

Ugh. I was kidding.

Yes you idiot.

Just don’t use manga for this stuff next time?

ok!!!!! :)

actually i promise nothing

lol sorry ♡

You’re the worst.

hehehehehe >:)

i love you too!!

are you busy this week??

let’s meet up!!!

Some of us care about our grades. As should you.

But Thursday and Friday are lighter days.

Yeah yeah. I like you or something.

thank uuuuu ♡♡♡

She chews on her lip as she rereads the message and mulls over it as she tries to ignore the flip-flop of her stomach. It’ll be fine. She’ll just aim to have something planned out for White Day in return.

#tokomaru week 2021 #toukomaru #tokomaru #komaru naegi #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes

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kralmajales · 4 years

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i know it's not 2013 anymore but i am genuinely so curious about your les mis classpects

Ahh thank u for asking !! It’s okay we can pretend it’s 2013 for as long as it takes u to read this! Hopefully this makes sense it’s like 3AM and I’m writing this on mobile so sorry for weird formatting.

Alright so I haven’t figured everyone out yet but I AM pretty sure about Valjean, Javert, Enjolras, and Grantaire. I do have a lot to say abt all of them though so this will be long, sorry. Also I haven’t read Les Mis since 2012 so this is like. From memory .

Something I didn’t do on purpose but ended up happening and made me happy is that I believe Valjean & Javert as well as Enjolras & Grantaire are on the same aspect continuums- Heart & Mind and Rage & Hope respectively.

Let’s start with our main men- Valjean and Javert. Heart and Mind are all about meaning- personal and impersonal. Heart focuses on the self, the soul, passion, and personal subjective meaning. Mind on the other hand, focuses on logic, choice, and impersonal objective meaning. The Mind player says “My opinion doesn’t matter, what matters is making sure the correct decision is made to satisfy what the Objective Meaning of our story is” while the Heart Player says “But as individuals, our subjective interpretations is really all that matters. We only Know ourselves I know that THIS is what it means to ME.”

Javert’s story is about the Mind Themes. To him there is The Law and there is The Criminal. There is no room for interpretation- what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. (Speaking of the law and Mind however.... I wonder what Terezi would think of Javert with her whole Criminals Deserve to Die thing she had going for a bit there...)

Javert’s Class is the Witch. Witches are magical, but unlike the inherent magic of the maid or the sylph, witches and heirs have a magic more akin to alchemy than anything else. The Witch Changes their aspect to make it more useful. Javert takes Mind and changes it into something that works for him. But like every witch we encounter in Homestuck, he doesn’t benefit from it. None of the Homestuck witches really have a good time by the end of their journey, and neither does Javert. After spending the story actively changing the ideas of logic, choice, and objective meaning into a structure of its own, he ends up getting trapped by it and driven to suicide by his inability to get out of his self made cage of Mind.

Valjean’s story is ALLLL about Heart, babey! He has multiple identities over the course of the story, and really his story is about love (which while not necessarily a Heart theme ... it totally is.) His story is about figuring out what’s important to him and how his identity changes to reflect what brings meaning to his life.

As for Class? I believe he’s a Knight! A knight’s story starts low, where they’re having a hard time with their aspect and life in general, and they’re very insecure. Then as they grow and learn to use their aspect, they manage to achieve personal growth on the way (which sadly can’t be said for many classes.... knights have very satisfying arcs.) Valjean starts off with his Self, his Identity taken from him as punishment for doing what he believed was the right thing to do even if society at large would disagree... his name and autonomy were taken away as he was forced to work while imprisoned. Then after he left, he went through multiple identities, each reflecting where he was at the time and what was important to him then. By the end of his story, Marius and Cosette understand what kind of person he really is (a GOOD person who saved Marius’ life) and they have a final reunion with Valjean, who happily dies with his loved ones, knowing he is understood. He has mastered his aspect of self and subjective meaning, and he completes his arc.

NOW! Onto Enjolras and Grantaire. These two are particularly interesting because they have pretty warped perceptions of who the other one is. But let’s discuss!

Rage and Hope are kind of tricky to explain as a continuum but basically it’s about .. what is there. Rage is about Truth and Hope is about Belief. Rage is what demolishes unnecessary structures as Hope builds them up.

Enjolras is SUCH a Rage player, even though I’ve seen people argue he’s a Light or even Hope player. But that’s just not the case. Rage is The Tower card in tarot. It says “This is a societal falsehood and MUST be torn down.” It’s revolutionary, and Enjolras is nothing if not a revolutionary.

As for class? He’s a Maid! There’s a joke Aradia (one of my favorite characters! She’s a maid of time, for those reading and aren’t familiar with homestuck) makes where she says she’s MADE of Time. Which I think is a brilliant way of conceptializing the maid class. They are magic, as I said before, but they’re not alchemists or magicians... they (and the sylphs!) are magical creatures. Their aspects come so naturally to them it’s like they’re made of it. They are creators and they are used to help spread their aspect to other people. This is 100% what Enjolras is with Rage’s revolutionary spirit.

Now onto perhaps my most controversial take. Grantaire is a Hope player and you CANNOT convince me otherwise. Sure, he may come off as perhaps a Doom player, but at the end of the day his story is about Hope. It’s about Belief. Your aspect isn’t always something you have a good relationship with. Grantaire is a man who “doesn’t believe in anything” and is a known cynic. It all comes down to belief with him, and his lack of it, until suddenly he Does believe in something (Enjolras!)

His class? BARD! Bards are passive destroyers, and like their active counterpart the prince, may come off as more inclined to the other side of the continuum (in this case Rage, so for Grantaire it’s “Truth”) (side note- as I’m writing this I just realized that Grantaire and Enjolras are not only opposing aspects, but opposite in classes as well- the active creator and the passive destroyer! Love that!) but in the end they end up being taken over by their aspect in some way and embracing it (at their own expense.) Grantaire died because he decided to finally embrace his aspect and Hope. He let himself Believe and he died for it but it was a very real change right before that happened. Also! Bards are typically kind of fun in a weird uncomfortable way and I think Grantaire is DEFINITELY fun in a kind of weird uncomfortable way. He may be depressed, but he can also be hilarious.

Thank u for reading all of that! I have some more ideas for some aspects for some characters but I’m not entirely sure for most of them, and also I always figure out aspect before class so I’m even less sure on that front! If u have any ideas pls lmk !! Anyway it’s 3:45 AM I’m gonna go to bed now!! Thank u again for the ask!

tl;dr: Valjean is a Knight of Heart, Javert is a Witch of Mind, Enjolras is a Maid of Rage, and Grantaire is a Bard of Hope!

#greatcomets #q and a #homestuck #Les mis #I had so much fun with this as u can probably tell !! thank u again

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shelikesthosefunnypeople · 4 years

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Pls explain more abt the ancient history thing b I’m very interested

Hello anon!

I know this was sent in months ago and I should have replied to it then but I’m a master procrastinator and life has been strange (before coronavirus kicked off I was in the middle of preparing for exams). Anyway, I’m happy to answer this.

I made a post in the distant past, basically saying that I think there is a view that history before 1800 is somehow less intellectual and that this is rooted in sexism. That post is here. Allow me to explain and please bare in mind that this is all just my opinion and is based off my experiences.

Apologies for the length.

Firstly, I love history. I’m a complete geek for it. I think it’s important, interesting and with a bit of luck I’ll be studying it at university soon. Therefore, this isn’t a post where I try to claim that actually history before 1800 is superior... because that’s just dumb. History is history and while historians can have personal preferences over which period they find most interesting, that doesn’t make that period “better” than any others. Literally. I mean, everything leading up to the present day didn’t happen in isolated, distinct boxes and all of it is useful to understanding how modern society has developed.

It makes sense that there is a general interest in “modern history”. After all, it is interesting and we have more information about it thanks to technological developments. The 20th century was a time of massive change if you compare 1900 to 2000 - although, I’m sure it’s easy for us to see the difference, seeing as the 20th century wasn’t so long ago in the grand scheme of things and many people who are alive today lived through a part of it. I’m sure people living in the early part of any century probably thought (if they had access to history) that the start and end of the previous century were hugely different. Nevertheless, I agree that the 20th century is quite profound in this respect, at least at the moment. In 100 years, who knows?

The 19th century also offers us a lot more remnants than its predecessors and I think culturally is still viewed as important. Some people have a rose tinted view of the 19th century. In Britain, I’d say it is seen by those of a certain political persuasion (check out Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg) as a time of peak Britishness(TM) and nationalistic pride... although that narrative is simplistic and disregards the suffering of the colonies and indeed the working classes of Britain, who had to prop up all this “greatness”. Anyway, I’m sure if you found a stuffy 19th century bloke, he would tell you how his society’s morality has gone to complete shambles and that he yearns for a bygone era that only really exists in his mind. I guess that’s just what some people always do. Conservatives, eh?

I’ll actually get to the point now.

At my college, there were two history courses available: modern (involving subjects such as the Russian Revolution and Britain from about 1950-2007) and pre-modern (involving subjects such as the crusades and the English Reformation). I took the latter course and was in a class of 18, where there were 13 girls and 5 boys. Generally, the modern history classes were weighted in the opposite way, which simply suggests that at my particular college with my particular year group, boys had a preference for modern history and girls for pre-modern. I would argue that this preference appears to be more widespread in general, but that’s not definite.

The fact that this difference existed is not the problem. The problem is what people perceived this difference to mean.

I was told by a boy (not a nice boy, so not a representation of everyone) who was studying history that the course I was taking was “the gay version”. That, of course, is a puerile insult for 2020 and highlights his maturity level - all history is very, very gay and if you take issue with that then I don’t know what to tell you. Get your head out of your arse, maybe? But anyway... why did he feel superior about studying a different bit of history?

It wasn’t just him. A (male) teacher once told me that the history course I had chosen wasn’t as useful as the other one and that the only use it had was that I could apply transferable essay writing skills to my other subjects. Which was bollocks, might I add. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t a history teacher.

So, where were these views coming from? Why was the English Reformation - which was basically 16th century Brexit - seen as lesser than the Russian Revolution? The obvious argument one could make is that events that have happened more recently are more important and have more of an impact today. However, without the events of the years before them, would these events have happened either? Does the Church of England not still exist? Do we not have a statue of Richard the Lionheart in Westminster (because we like giving statues to tossers, apparently)?

In my opinion, the answer to this odd hierarchy of time periods lies in gender socialisation and the propensity of people to view history in the same way they view fiction. We know that the traditional male/female gender socialisation patterns are different: boys are socialised to be “tough”, “leaders”, “aggressive” etc. whilst girls are socialised to be “submissive”, “friendly”, “polite” etc. This is hopefully changing now but inbuilt, subconscious biases about the genders and what quantifies masculinity and femininity are still around. There is the stereotype of boys being interested in war due to the toys they were given to play with. Surprise, surprise - warfare in the 20th century alone was vastly different to anything that had come before it and, as I said, due to technology we have more archived about it. I’m not suggesting that only boys are interested in historical war - again, that’s a stereotype. Anyone can be interested in war, 20th century or otherwise. Despite this, I’m not going to pretend there still aren’t those guys who get waaaay into warfare and that their interest and knowledge in history is largely confined to that subject.

And that’s fine! You know, as long as you don’t start worshipping Hitler or anything equally creepy. People aren’t experts on every little bit of history and are allowed to have stereotypical interests.

Yet, that still doesn’t explain completely why “modern history” is viewed as more intellectual, just because maybe it appeals slightly more to men (apart from the obvious that anything men like is viewed as superior in some way).

As historical societies are notably different to our own - especially on the surface - and because there is so much historical fiction that seeks to romanticise it, it is not massively surprising that many people do see history as an extension to fiction. It’s gone, we live in the now, lots of people don’t even believe history matters. The fantasy genre has a habit of adopting historical (often medieval) settings for its tales. It’s an obvious example but Game of Thrones was a retelling of the Wars of the Roses, amongst other things. I think when fantasy is applied to history it makes it seem even less real than it may already and this can lead to it being taken less seriously (though please do watch Horrible Histories or Blackadder and take the piss out of all time periods because humans of every age have been fallible). Of course, it is far easier to romanticise and play around with times that are further from our own because they are further detached and therefore more fantastical. This plays into post-1800 being seen as more “real” and “intellectual”.

Some men who wish to keep women out of the historical circle accuse them of only being interested in history because of “romance” or “fancy dresses” - princesses and knights and fairytales. This is more a low down problem with internet trolls than actual, published historians but the issue still stands. If you view “pre-modern” history through this veil of fiction then it must seem rather childish compared to the stark brutality of the World Wars and the political rise of the New Right in the West. However, conversely, it could also be argued that the nationalism and legend attached to recent warfare makes it equally comparable to a story. Not a happy story but then, Game of Thrones isn’t a happy story either.

I don’t think anyone serious about history actually believes that the romantic, fantastical elements attached to any historical periods are 100% true. Hopefully, most people don’t see them as proof that being interested in a certain period makes you better than someone who is interested in another period. Any period can be romanticised, including the “modern” one - Titanic, anyone? Not to mention the frilly view we have of the Victorians (although that’s not silly because of the Britishness(TM), remember). Actually, using history in fiction and even making fiction about history isn’t even a bad thing and I certainly encourage it. I just think that the truth shouldn’t be conveniently forgotten by those with weird superiority complexes who think that because The Tudors was all about love trysts and fine clothing, the entire period is “girly” and a write off.

What am I saying amongst this rambling mess? The next time you see a girl going through her Ancient Egypt phase, don’t roll your eyes. Not if you wouldn’t do the same when you see a boy with an interest in WW2 tanks. Whichever way people come to their interest in the past is valid (apart from the creepy fascist worshipping I mentioned). A lot of things in our world are gendered when they shouldn’t be; history should be equally open to all and although there is a focus on the past 200 years (just look at the uni modules on offer), that doesn’t mean that if you are interested in the years before, your interest isn’t valid enough.

I hope I’ve managed to explain myself properly and have gotten through how gender plays into this sufficiently. I know this is a very niche thing to have an opinion on and I’d like to stress again that this is just my opinion and you are free to disagree with me. That said, if you send me hate then don’t expect a proper response.

Thanks for the ask!

#history #modern history #sexism #little bit of #homophobia #random ramblings #ask #anon #sorry that got a bit long #watch me badly articulate thoughts

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pickalilywrites · 6 years

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Hiiii! When you get the time can you pls write a levi/petra one-shot in which they end up having a second date (their first one was a failure) ❤️ thank you!

I was watching a kdrama where two celebrities pretend to get married and pursue a relationship for a variety show and i was like “cute”

Let’s Fall in Love!

Rivetra. Dating Show AU.

4547 words.

Buy me a ko-fi!

It is every girl’s dream to date Levi Ackerman, lead singer of the hit rock band No Name. In fact, Petra herself had fantasized him being her boyfriend when she was just a teenager, but she’s completely changed her mind after their initial meeting when he had clasped his hand in hers for a handshake and remarked that her hand was unusually cold.

“Kind of a like a dead person’s,” he said aloud.

At first, she was sure that she had just misheard, but the rest of their interactions only confirmed his rudeness. Petra knows that you should never meet your heroes, but this is ridiculous.

“I liked the part when he was complimenting her,” Eld says with a grin. He reaches out twirl a lock of Petra’s hair around his finger and watches it unwind as it falls away. He mimics the constipated expression of the famous rock singer and says in a low voice, “’Your hair…is very orange.’”

“Oh, what about the time he visibly cringed when he saw her putting cream in her coffee?” Gutner says.

“Or when he said he’d never heard of her music before?” Auruo snickers.

She’d yell at them to get out of her dressing room, but she’s trying to keep her temper in check especially when she eventually has to meet up with Levi again. She’d rather never see him again after the disastrous date from last week, but they’ve already signed the contract and she can’t back out of it now. Goddamn variety shows.

“Are you guys done?” she asks through gritted teeth. She stands up from her dresser and brushes herself off. She looks at herself once more in the mirror and frowns at her reflection thinking that Levi will definitely hate her no matter what she looks like. Not that she cares. She’d wear her ugliest clothes, but she’d get a lot of criticism online if she didn’t look perfect. Sighing, she runs her hands through her hair and looks warily at her bandmates. “Besides, it’s our music that he hasn’t heard of. Aren’t you guys the least bit offended? We’ve idolized No Name our entire lives and he’s not even interested in us even after the success of our last album. He could at least pretend to be a little impressed, don’t you think?”

Gunter shrugs. “Everyone knows he’s pretty reclusive. If it were his bandmate Hanji or their drummer Mike, I’d be miffed, but it’s Levi we’re talking about. He doesn’t seem to be interested in anything.” He pats her on the shoulder when her frown deepens and gives her a smile. “It’s just a silly show for fun. I doubt you’re the worst celebrity couple they’ve put on this show.”

“Not according to some people on Twitter,” Eld says as he scrolls through his phone. He chuckles as he reads a few out loud for them. “’Levi and Petra have absolutely NO CHEMISTRY at all.’ ‘Watching Levi and Petra together makes me want to tear my eyes out. They’re so terrible!’ ‘Petra doesn’t deserve to date Levi.’ Oh.” Eld frowns when he comes across a particular tweet. “This person wants to kill you for dating him. That won’t do. Don’t worry, Pet, I got you.”

“If they want to date Levi so badly, they can,” Petra groans as Eld furiously taps away on his phone. She’s stopped reading any tweets involving her lately. While she does get a bunch of tweets about how lucky she is to be dating the No Name front man or compliments about how nice she looks on the show, she’s been bombarded with more insults than she normally is and she’s thinking about staying off all her social media until this is all over and done with. “Don’t they know this isn’t real anyway? It’s just a TV show.”

“Does it matter? It might as well be real. You know about half the celebrities that get paired up on this show end up dating each other in real life?” Auruo says as he leans against her counter. He inspects his nails and grins at her slyly, watching her from the corner of his eye. “I know high school you would be ecstatic at an opportunity to date Levi Ackerman even if it’s just for a variety show. You were over the moon about him, saying that he was the greatest male vocalist in our time and you’d die if you ever met him in real life. I think you even said you’d marry him at one point.”

Petra side-eyes her friend, thinking that it’s unfortunate that one of her bandmates has to be her childhood friend. He knows far too much about her. She’d get rid of him, but he’s terribly good bass guitar player and it’d be a bitch to replace him. “Are you sure you don’t want to marry him instead?” Petra asks him as he splutters and turns beet red. “You certainly seem to have a lot of good things to say about him even now and isn’t your hair cut in the same style as his?”

“Alright, alright,” Gunter says, holding his hands up to signal them to settle down. “It’s not so bad, right? Our sales are going up at any rate, so just try to do your best with him, Petra. It’ll all be over in a few weeks anyway.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Petra mutters. “You don’t have to date him.”

Just then there’s a knock on the door and someone on the outside, probably a studio hand, calling Petra out. She’d rather just stay in her dressing room than go out there and see Levi again, but she is getting paid for this so she might as well just go.

“I’m coming,” she calls, pasting a fake smile on her face as she heads towards the door.

“Good luck, Petra!” Eld calls as she pushes the door open, the rest of the band also sending her off with their own well wishes.

“Looks like your band is optimistic,” smiles the studio hand. It’s Eren Jaeger, the studio intern who had comforted her after she had filmed the first episode. It turns out that while he’s a big fan of No Name (like most people are), he’s also been a fan of Wings of Freedom ever since its conception and talked to her excitedly about how much he looks forward to her band’s new music after she’s done filming for this show.

“Yeah, well,” Petra says, dropping her mask and giving him a weary smile. It’s nice to have an ally in the studio, she thinks. “It can’t really get much worse than last week, right?”

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” Eren says with a shrug. He fiddles with the paper on his clipboard with all the tasks on his schedule, folding and unfolding the bottom corner. “I’ve seen interviews he’s done with people he really hates, and he’s nothing like that with you. Besides, you guys might not get along swimmingly, but you definitely have one of the more interesting dynamics this season. I really think the viewers will be rooting for the two of you in a few episodes.”

“Rooting for us to break up and leave the show early,” Petra snorts. She actually contemplated the possibility after the first shooting, but it’d take a chunk out of her earnings. “How much did you guys offer him? It makes sense for me to sign up for something like this. Wings of Freedom might be big now, but it’s still somewhat of a fledgling of a band. I’m sure No Name is well off even without being featured in shows like this.”

Eren scratches the back of his neck and shifts his gaze away from her. “Er, I’m not supposed to know things like that,” he mumbles. “But he must be interested in you somehow if it’s not the money, right? Why else would he sign up for something like this?”

“Because the headshot you used when you were convincing him to pick me was really good?” Petra suggests. When Eren frowns, she ruffles his hair and grins at him. “Don’t worry, it’s not that big of a deal. I’m glad you’re enjoying us though. It’s always good to have a supporter.”

He grins widely back at her and asks her how Wings of Freedom’s second album is coming along as he leads her to the nearby café near the studio that they’re filming at for today’s “date.” It’s the same one that they had gone to in the first episode and unlike a lot of the other celebrity couples that had visited this place, Petra doesn’t have any happy memories here.

“Hey, nice timing!” someone says. When Petra turns, she sees Hanji, the lead guitarist of No Name. They have what looks like a friendly smile on their face, but Petra has no idea why they’d smile at her in that way if they’d seen the last episode. They hold out a hand for Petra to shake and Petra takes it tentatively in hers. “I’m Hanji, but I think you already know that. I’m flattered you find our band such an inspiration! The way that Wings of Freedom is rising up the charts, you’re a real competition to us, you know? It’s good to finally meet you, Petra. Hopefully, I’ll be able to meet all the other members as well!”

“Nice to meet you too?” Petra says. She’d be ecstatic about meeting another member of No Name, but her experience with Levi so far has made her cautious. “What are you doing here?”

“I just want to see how much of a dumpster fire this date’s going to be,” Hanji says casually. When they see Petra reel back in surprise, they laugh and throw an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, don’t worry about it. If it’s terrible, it’s going to be Levi’s fault. That guy’s just difficult to get along with. I should know since I’ve worked with him for years! You couldn’t do anything wrong even if you tried, Petra. You’re adorable. If you want, I could take his place and date you instead.”

Before Petra can say anything, Levi appears from behind Hanji. He reaches up to pinch his band mate’s ear and scowls, “Shut up, Hanji.” To Petra, he says, “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”

At least she knows he feels the same way about this.

“Welcome once again to Let’s Fall in Love!, the show where you get to see your favorite celebrities fall in love with each other!” the announcer says, gesturing toward where Levi and Petra sit at the café table. She’s a rather nice woman named Ilse, although Petra’s sure she’d like her better if they hadn’t gotten acquainted on this show. “While it wasn’t love at first sight for them, maybe they’ll find love today at this very same café!”

“It’s good seeing you again,” Petra murmurs. She tries to give him her most genuine smile, but it’s so forced that she’s afraid that he can see right through it.

“Hm,” Levi says in reply, not even bothering to give her a proper response. He looks at her briefly but looks away immediately afterward. It’s probably because he can’t stand the sight of her. If she weren’t on camera, she’d scowl at him.

“Let’s see how well these two know each other now after that first date! They’ll be ordering for each other today by writing it on these napkins, which we’ll give to the barista,” the hostess says with a plastered-on smile. They wave one of the napkins around before placing it in front of Petra. “And we’ll join them while we wait for their drinks to arrive to see the progress they’ve made.”

It’s not a lot of progress, Petra thinks with a grimace. Outwardly, she smiles pleasantly at the hostess and speaks about how great it will be to let others catch up on her relationship with Levi, how much she’s learned about him so far, and how she was looking forward to exploring this relationship with him further. Levi, meanwhile, sits at his end of the table with that perpetual scowl on his face. Looking at it now, it’s difficult for her to understand how she could have ever thought his frown sexy back when she hadn’t known him.

“So, have you and Levi gotten together off-camera after the events of last week?” Ilse asks Petra. Petra’s sure that the woman had intentionally spoken with her first instead of Levi knowing that Petra was far easier to manage than him.

“Unfortunately, no,” Petra says sheepishly. She hopes that she doesn’t look too happy about it. “Both our bands are busy, I’m sure. Wings of Freedom is currently working on our second album, so my bandmates and I are spending as many days in the studio when I’m not busy filming over here.” Even if she did have free time to spend with Levi, she wouldn’t. Not that she’d say that out loud though. It definitely wouldn’t go over well with viewers and Levi already hates her as it is.

“What have you been busy with, Levi?” Ilse asks.

Even though the hostess gives him a polite smile, he only stares back at her with a frosty glare. “Rehearsing for the No Name’s upcoming tour,” he replies, not even bothering to give her his answer in a complete sentence.

“Wow, you two have some much in common. It’s a shame that you don’t spend more time together. I’m sure you’d hit it off even more if you did,” Ilse says, but even Petra can tell that she’s finding Levi difficult to handle from her strained smile. The hostess pulls out a small deck of index cards from her pocket, tapping them against the table as she turns once again to Petra. “Well, we all knew this would happen with two superstars, so let’s play a little game! I’ll ask you a few questions about your partner and you’ll answer. Even if you get it wrong, you’ll still be getting to know each other!”

Petra laughs weakly. It seems that Levi has similar feelings because he’s looking like he’d rather die than stay here and play a get-to-know-you game.

“Sounds fun,” Petra says, sitting up and folding her hands in front of her. She gives Ilse a cheerful smile. “I don’t mind starting.”

“Great!” Ilse says. It might just be Petra’s imagination, but Ilse looks a little relieved. Their hostess clears her throat and glances at the first card before saying, “We all know that you and your band are huge fans of No Name and consider them to be a big inspiration for you, so I expect some of these questions to be a breeze for you, Petra. First question: When is Levi’s birthday?”

“December 25th,” Petra says without hesitation. She notices that both Ilse and Levi are staring at her, probably surprised because she answered so quickly. Is it really that surprising though? She is a fan…or at least she was one. Refusing to be embarrassed, Petra reaches up to pat her hair down for any stray hairs and laughs nervously. “It’s an easy birthday to remember after all.”

“I guess that is true! It’s the same day as Christmas after all,” Ilse laughs. She turns to Levi now, glancing down at the card. “You have a slightly harder question, Levi. Your question is: What year was Petra born?”

His frown deepens, and he looks at Petra and back at Ilse as if one of them will tell him the answer, but none of them budge. He finally takes another long, hard look at Petra before opening his mouth and saying very slowly, “1998?”

It’s more surprising than when Petra answered the question. This is because while Petra took less than a heartbeat to answer and was right, Levi took his time and still was off by half a decade.

“Do you think I’m twenty?” Petra asks. She had been able to resist herself before, but she can’t hold herself back now. She really wants to know if he really thinks she looks twenty or if he’s just really bad at math. She looks at Ilse incredulously. “Do I look like a fetus?”

Even Ilse starts to laugh at her reaction, but Levi looks less amused. He crosses his arms and turns away from her. “You look abnormally young for your age,” he mutters under her breath, but she’s not sure if this is supposed to be a compliment or not.

“I’m very well above the drinking age,” she informs him with a smirk.

He raises an eyebrow and props his elbow on the table, leaning towards her as he asks, “Is that so? How often do you get carded despite that?”

Nearly every goddamn time she has to get drinks, she thinks sorely. When she doesn’t answer, he smiles smugly. She’d feel even more insulted if she weren’t so surprised. She doesn’t think she’s seen him smile at all in front of her until now.

“Alright, alright,” Ilse says, clearing her throat. She nods at the both of them and flips to the next card. “Petra is actually born in 1993, Levi, so at least you got the decade right. Are the two of you ready to move on to the next couple of questions we have for you?”

Petra looks up and meets Levi’s eyes from across the table, but he looks away quickly from her.

“Yeah, whatever,” Levi mumbles. He taps his fingers impatiently on the table. His ears are still red with embarrassment from answering the last question wrong.

For the first time since being on set, Petra thinks that this might just be fun after all.

The rest of the game goes similarly. Whatever question Ilse throws at Petra about Levi, Petra answers flawlessly without much thought. She has impeccable knowledge about all of No Name, Levi included, and she’s aware that she might come off as an obsessed fangirl after this episode comes out, but she doesn’t care at the moment. She’s far too amused by Levi’s inability to answer any of their questions about her at all.

It doesn’t matter what they ask him about her. He gets it wrong every time. With each incorrect answer, he gets more flustered and tongue-tied. He snaps out his answer grumpily whenever Ilse turns to him and scowls whenever she informs him that he’s wrong. He can’t name a single song Petra’s written, where she grew up, or the other bands she listens to aside from No Name. He’s so frazzled that Petra’s sure that if Ilse asked him what her hair color was he’d get it wrong even though she’s sitting right across from him.

“Petra, what’s the first song that Levi wrote for No Name?” Ilse asks her.

“’The Reluctant Heroes,’” Petra says easily. She glances over at Levi who scowls at her once more. She only shrugs and smiles in reply.

“Correct once again! You really weren’t kidding when you said you loved No Name. I’m sure Levi is flattered to be with such a talented artist and dedicated fan,” Ilse says, not at all noticing the glower on Levi’s face. To Levi, she asks, “Final question is for you Levi. What is the name of the song Petra and her band Wings of Freedom covered that helped propel them into mainstream success?”

Petra sits up, smirking at Levi because she’s sure that he’s going to get this answer wrong as well, but he has the oddest look on his face. The hardened gaze of his is gone and his expression has softened. Gone is his frustration and impatience, and he looks at her quietly before answering in a quiet voice, “’Call Your Name.’”

“That’s right! After covering No Name’s best-selling single ‘Call Your Name,’ Wings of Freedom began to catch other people’s attention and helped lead them on the road to success,” Ilse says happily. “While you might not know a lot about Petra now, you’ve certainly learned a lot about her today, Levi, and it’s good to see that you at least know something about her.”

Levi doesn’t reply and instead continues to look at Petra, who finds herself blushing. She’s not sure if it’s because he’s looking at her with such a soft expression or because she’s finally being acknowledged by her childhood idol or some other third reason she doesn’t even want to think about at this moment, but his gaze makes her turn away.

“It was a really…it was a good cover,” she hears Levi says. “Beautiful.”

She can feel her face burst into flames. “Thanks,” she mumbles.”

A waitress finally comes by to hand them their drinks. What good timing. They’ve taken far longer than they should, and Petra suspects that they delayed the orders to allow more time for the game. These stupid shows and their stupid games, she thinks with a sigh.

The black coffee Petra had ordered for Levi sits in front of him and Petra finds her own drink set in front of her. It’s a mocha topped with a generous amount of whipped cream and sprinkled with cinnamon and chocolate swirls. Just looking at it makes her feel like she has a cavity and she looks over at Levi confusedly.

“Well,” Ilse says, clapping her hands together and looking from Petra to Levi again. Petra wonders if the hostess is ever tired of acting so excited for these things. “You have your drinks in front of you. Tell us how you like them! Levi, did Petra make the right choice for you? I wouldn’t be surprised if she did!”

Levi takes an awkward sip in front of the camera, pausing before he answers to taste the coffee. Somehow, he’s shocked, and he gives Petra a suspicious glare as if she shouldn’t know his coffee preferences despite her showing how knowledgeable she is about him and going on a coffee date with her last week where he ordered the exact same thing. “It’s good,” Levi finally says.

“And you, Petra?” Ilse asks eagerly. She gestures at the cup in front of Petra, motioning at her to take a sip.

“Ah,” Petra says with a nervous laugh. It’s not that she doesn’t like sweet things, but she doesn’t like overly sweet coffee. If she wanted something sweet and chocolatey, she would have just ordered a hot chocolate. Still, she doesn’t want to seem rude and hesitantly picks up the cup and holds it to her lips. It’s even sweeter that she had thought it would be, and she begins to choke from the taste of it. “Oh, it’s…it’s very sweet,” Petra coughs.

She’s not sure why, but Levi looks hurt. How strange.

“I don’t usually drink such sweet things,” Petra says apologetically, but she’s not sure if she should say this to Ilse or Levi so she just awkwardly speaks to the space between them. “It’s not bad though…it’s…nice.”

Ilse laughs at her response. “Well, I’m glad you can still enjoy it even though it’s not quite to your liking. Thanks for joining Levi and Petra once again on their romantic journey. Let’s hope that Levi can get to know Petra even more in the upcoming weeks!”

Once the cameras are finished rolling, Ilse sighs and rips off her mic. Smiling at Petra, she says, “Thanks for playing along so well, Petra. And thanks for your participation today too, Levi – ah.”

Levi has already torn off his microphone and stalked out of the café without so much as a goodbye. Petra does notice that he did take his coffee with him though.

She should really stay behind and talk with Ilse for a while, thank her for being such a wonderful host, but she really wants to chase after Levi and ask him something, so she smiles apologetically at Ilse and excuses herself, saying that she’ll catch up with her sometime during the week.

When she catches up with Levi, she sees him being held back by Hanji. Or Hanji’s trying to hold him back. Levi’s managing to walk quite well despite having to drag along another person behind him.

“Why’d you run away? Go back!” Hanji tells him. “Don’t you want to talk to Petra some more?”

“No, I don’t want to talk to her,” Levi says, trying to shake Hanji off.

“Should I go back then?” Petra says amusedly. While Hanji looks at her with an expression of pleasant surprise, Levi looks incredibly horrified. “Sorry. I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit, but I can just see you next week if you’d rather not see me.”

“I can talk to you, Petra!” Hanji says, letting go of Levi. They wrap an arm around her and grin down at her. “Levi’s always a grouch, so don’t mind him. I’m much better company than he is!”

Levi sighs and stomps over to where they are, pulling Hanji off Petra and glaring. “It’s fine. I’ll talk to her. Just…go back to the hotel and talk to Mike or something,” he grumbles at Hanji. When he looks at Petra, she sees that his face is flushed the same way it was when they were at the café together. He’s starting to look a little less mean-looking, Petra thinks. To Petra, he asks, “What did you want to talk about?”

“The cover my band did,” she says. “Did you really listen to it?”

“Yeah. Hanji made me listen to it during rehearsal last week.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and turns away from her. “It was good. It was really good. I was going to sit and listen to your album, but I haven’t got the chance to do that yet.”

“Oh, I’m glad you liked it. I didn’t think you’d be interested in listening to my band,” Petra laughs. She’s starting to think that although he’s difficult to get along with at first, he’s not a bad person. Maybe this won’t be so unbearable after all.

“Why not?” Levi asks, looking at her with a furrowed brow. “Your voice is beautiful.”

“Huh?” she says stupidly. It’s difficult to believe he’s complimented when she had firmly believed he hated her only an hour ago. She’s blushing more than she usually would if any other person had said the same words to her and she covers her cheeks with her hands in an unsubtle attempt to hide her blush. “Ah, that’s…I’m so happy…”

“Hm” is all Levi says. He continues to look at her, his expression curious now, and she remembers why she had swooned over him back in her high school days.

“Er, I have to go now,” Petra says, desperate for an excuse to escape. She doesn’t reconvene with her band until tomorrow, but it’s not like Levi knows that. She doesn’t even know he says goodbye to her because she’s already run away.

She doesn’t think she hates him anymore though. No, she’s pretty sure she doesn’t. She’s not sure how she feels exactly, but she does know that there’s a part of her that looks forward to seeing him next weekend even though this relationship isn’t really real.

#rivetra #petra ral #levi ackerman #dating show au #snk #requests #asks #answered #anon #anonymous #hanji zoe #auruo bossard #eld jinn #Gunter Schultz

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ravenclawbaz · 6 years

Text

i saw you close your eyes

final part of my fake dating au!! Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

word count: 3086 warnings: none

*i wanna thank all of you guys for reading this!! it means a lot to me that people are (hopefully?) enjoying the things that i’m writing :) i have a few new things planned that i’ll start working on when i get a chance! (also if you were wondering, the title of this came from the song i saw you close your eyes by local natives. i just chose it cause i was listening to that song when i started writing this and somehow it fit??)

Part 3

Simon wakes up to the sound of the shower curtain being pulled open, followed by the light pattering of Baz’s feet on the bathroom tile.

Simon considers staying in bed and avoiding confronting Baz, but his decision is made for him when he starts to sweat under his heavy blankets. He rolls over and sits on the edge of his bed, leaning his elbows on his knees and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

The window was open last night, meaning Baz must’ve closed it when he got back from the Catacombs. Simon stumbles over to the window, still disoriented from having just woken up, and pulls it open, leaning out of it and breathing in the fresh air.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Baz says from across the room. He throws his towel at Simon, then sits on his bed.

Simon turns around at the voice and catches the towel before it hits him in the face, but throws it on the ground when he realizes what it’s touched.

“You seem oddly normal today.” Simon leans his back against the window sill with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“You sure know how to flatter a guy.” Baz jokes and pulls on his shoes. Simon rolls his eyes and walks to the bathroom, choosing to enjoy the fact that for once Baz isn’t acting like he wishes Simon was never born.

“What are your plans for today?” Baz yells from the outside the bathroom and Simon ignores him. Can’t a boy go to the bathroom in peace.

Simon answers once he is back in the room, “I’ll probably just hang out with Penny. Maybe visit Ebb too.”

“Boring. Shouldn’t we be together if we want people to actually believe that we’re dating?” He finishes tying his shoes and sits up straight to look at Simon, who is still leaning against the window.

“I’m not gonna be with her all day. We’ll do something that ordinary boyfriends do after lunch.” Simon uncrosses his arms to put air quotes around the word ‘boyfriends’, as if he needs to remind Baz that they aren’t actually dating.

Baz nods in understanding, instead of responding, and grabs his jacket from where it’s laying on the ground.

“I’ll see you at lunch, then.” He says before he slams the door behind him.

Simon listens to his retreating footsteps until he can’t hear them anymore, then turns around and looks out the window to watch Baz walk to the dining hall. He’s walking faster than is necessary, but that’s a whole thing with Baz. Always walking like he has somewhere important to be; head held high, completely silent besides the quick click of his shoes against the floor.

Simon’s the complete opposite; all uncoordinated movements and loud steps that can be heard across the school. That’s one of the reasons he knows him and Baz could never be together, really together, in the dating kind of way. They say opposites attract, but that doesn’t apply with these two.

He sighs and finishes getting ready, pulling on Agatha’s old lacrosse sweater and grabbing his bag, like he’ll actually do any schoolwork. He skips breakfast and heads straight to the Great Lawn where him and Penny meet every Saturday. It’s unusual of him to skip breakfast. On any other day, he could inhale the contents of every student’s plate within mere seconds of entering the dining room, but all this thinking about serious things has made him lose his appetite.

He throws his bag down and sits next to it, picking at the bark on the tree he’s sitting by until Penny shows up.

“Why weren’t you at breakfast?” Penny arrives about 10 minutes later and sits down next to Simon, flattening her skirt over her thighs. “I brought you a scone.” She hands him a scone wrapped in napkins and starts pulling books out of her bag once he takes it.

“I wasn’t feeling too hungry this morning. Did Baz sit with you guys?” He unwraps the scone and takes a bite, unable to resist it despite his lack of hunger.

“Thankfully no. I don’t think he’s at that stage with me and Agatha yet. Do you know how terribly awkward that would have been? Especially without you there.” She leans toward Simon and nudges her shoulder into his, giving him a suggestive look. “So, tell me how this thing happened between you two anyway. I want all the details.”

Simon laughs nervously and looks away from Penny’s gaze. Would this be a good time to bring up what he wanted to talk to Penny about? He glances back at her and decides that, yes, this is Penny. Anything he has to say, she’ll be willing to listen. And no matter how dumb it is she’s always the one who will able knock some sense into him.

Simon pulls the grass at his feet and rips it apart, “Actually, Pen, there’s something I need to talk to you about?” He raises his voice at the end, forming it as a question so Penny can turn him down if she wants to, though of course she wouldn’t.

She raises her eyebrows at him in a look that tells him to go on, so he does. But not before sighing and ripping up a bigger chunk of grass.

“I think I like Baz.” He lets out a breath and slowly turns to face Penny.

She doesn’t say anything at first, but all of the sudden she’s laughing louder than Simon has ever heard her laugh before. He gives her a moment to catch her breath, looking at her in confusion through her whole fit.

“Si - Simon! What the hell? I thought we were getting serious here!” She points at him with an accusing finger, “Something we never do, by the way!”

He’s still staring at her, wondering what’s so funny about him just confessing that he may have feelings for his enemy.

“I would hope that you like him. You two are dating after all.” Oh, right. Simon mentally shames himself for forgetting the one piece of information that is the most crucial in this situation: Penny thinks he’s actually dating Baz.

He lets out another laugh, more nervous than the one before, then takes a minute to explain the situation to Penny. She listens the whole time, not interrupting Simon, and to his surprise, not looking that upset about it either.

Once he’s done explaining, she sighs and rests her hand on his shoulder. “Oh, Simon. Trust you to get yourself into a mess this big.”

“Well? What do you think I should do?” She takes a minute to think, taking her hand off Simon’s shoulder and bringing it up to twirl her finger through one of her curls.

“Hmm. Honestly Si, I think you should tell him. I mean, have you seen the way he looks at you! You can’t be that oblivious.” She stuffs her unopened books back into her bag and hangs it over her shoulder. “What do you mean? And where are you going?” He grabs her hand as she stands up, looking at her questioningly.

“I have studying to do that I am not going to be able to finish with you moping around. And you have a boy to snatch.” She pulls her hand out of his and winks.

She’s only run about 5 yards away when she turns back to yell at Simon, “Oh, and you lost the bet! Your punishment is that you have to tell Baz how you feel, or you can go to dinner with me and my mum once a month for the rest of the year. See ya, Si!” With that, she’s gone before Simon can register all that she’s said. Damn him for not coming up with the consequences of losing the bet earlier. And there goes another win to Penny, making the score 0 to however many Penny has won, he’s lost count.

—-

It’s almost lunch when Simon heads back inside the gates. After Penny left, he stayed outside to think some more. Mostly about how in hell he is going to confess his feelings to Baz, his enemy. And the rest of the time he spent sleeping against the tree.

He loiters around in the courtyard until he sees Baz walking to the dining hall and runs to catch up with him.

“Hey Baz.” He kisses him on the cheek and links their fingers together. If telling Baz goes wrong like Simon suspects it will, he at least wants to enjoy the time he does have left with Baz as his fake boyfriend.

“Hi Snow.” Baz smiles at him. It almost looks real. He really is good at pretending to be Simon’s boyfriend.

They join Penny and Agatha after they get food, and jump right into the conversation.

Contrary to what Penny said earlier, Baz does fit in with them. He always knows the right things to say, and for once seems like he actually wants to be talking to Simon and his friends.

As for Simon, he stays quiet. He’s been getting more anxious the longer lunch goes on, and the closer he gets to having to alone with Baz. Having to tell him how he feels.

He runs through a million scenarios in his head as to how Baz will react.

One of them is Baz lunging at him and sinking his teeth into Simon’s neck, killing him quickly. Too bad Simon wouldn’t be able to win that bet dead.

Another is Baz leaving. Not saying anything, just turning around and walking right out the door. Possibly never coming back.

None of the scenarios that Simon pictures end happily, with Baz being okay that Simon likes him and possibly even reciprocating those feelings himself.

Simon is pulled out of his thoughts to Penny snapping her fingers in front of his face. She’s leaning over the table and her shirt is dangerously close to dragging through the leftover food on her plate.

“Simon? Are you listening? Agatha and I are leaving, we’re going to go to the library. We’ll be there if you need us.” She gives Simon a look that says ‘we’ll be there if things don’t go well with Baz’.

She must’ve told Agatha, because she looks at Simon with the same concern in her eyes. He would usually be more worried about something like that, but there are more pressing matters to invest his worry in.

“What do you want to do?” Baz stands up and clears Simon’s plate along with his own.

Simon follows Baz out of the dining hall and shrugs. It’s not like he can just casually bring up that his plans for the day are to confess his completely real feelings to his vampire roommate, who also happens to be his arch nemesis.

“Come back with me to the room then, I’m going to practice on the pitch but I need to change first. And as my boyfriend, you have to come watch me play.” Baz slows down so Simon can catch up, and grabs his hand, only to let go of it a second later with a look of disgust on his face.

“Why are you so sweaty? It’s disgusting.” There’s the Baz that Simon knows, snarky and never giving a shit about other people’s feelings. How Simon could fall for someone like that is beyond him.

“Sorry.” He pulls his hand farther away and brings it to his mouth to chew on his fingernails.

“That’s gross too. Why do you do that anyway?” Baz says.

Simon just shrugs, “I dunno. Just a bad habit I guess.” He stops, uncomfortable with the way Baz is staring at him, and shoves his hands deep in his pockets.

It’s something he’s been insecure about since he started to get made fun of for it by the other boys at the home, but it’s also something that he can’t help; similar to the lack of control he has over his own magic. And it does help. It keeps him distracted from all the stress he’s been put under by the Mage, and right now it’s helping with his problems with Baz.

The rest of the walk back to their room is quiet, only broken by the shouts from the younger students running around outside.

Simon and Baz have never walked up the stairs together, but it’s an awkward experience. The stairway is too narrow for both of them to go side-by-side, so Baz lets Simon go up ahead of him. This only results in Simon becoming hyper aware of the way he’s walking, knowing that Baz has a full view of his ass.

Simon goes into the room first and sits on his bed while Baz changes into shorts and a jersey. Baz is sitting on the floor across from Simon’s bed lacing up his second cleat when Simon decides that it’s now or never, and starts to speak before he can think about what he’s doing. He’s had enough time to think.

“Baz, there’s something I need to tell you.” He looks at Baz, who pauses tying his shoe and looks up at him.

“And what is that?” He raises his eyebrow, but thankfully does so without looking like his usual condescending self. He sits patiently, his knees drawn up against his chest, held there with his arms crossed over them, giving Simon time to gather his thoughts.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but here goes,” Simon exhales loudly and rubs his sweaty palms on his thighs, “This is going to sound really stupid to you, and you have the right to smack me or whatever you see fit when I’m done telling you, but we’ll have to go into the hall for that. Roommate’s Anathema and all.” He chuckles nervously.

“Stop stalling. You can tell me.” Baz interrupts.

“Fine. I like you. And not in a friend way, or enemy way, whatever we are. In a ‘I wish that we weren’t fake boyfriends kind of way’.” Simon looks anywhere but Baz, eyes trained on the books lining his desk instead. “I know it sounds dumb. How could I like the guy who’s supposed to be my enemy. I mean, we’re supposed to kill each other! And it took me so long to realize, too. A few years of fighting with you, and a whole conversation with Penny before she talked some sense into me. If you want to go in the hallway and beat the shit out of me, maybe throw me down the stairs for old time’s sake, that’s fine.”

Simon is so lost in his rambling that he doesn’t notice Baz has gotten up off the floor until he’s standing right in front of him. Rather than saying anything, he just grabs Simon’s hands and pulls him up so they’re both standing.

Baz is taller than usual because of his cleats, and Simon has to tilt his head up to look him in the eyes.

“Simon, you’re an idiot.” Baz is smiling. More like grinning, actually. It’s kind of scary, all his teeth on display like that.

“I know, you’ve told me.” Simon deflates at the insult and realisation that Baz is holding onto him so he can drag him into the hallway and throw him down the stairs. He deserves it for having feelings like this.

“I don’t think you understand.” His grip on Simon’s wrists tighten, then Baz lets go of one of them. He brings his hand up under Simon’s chin, tilting it up lightly until they’re making eye contact again.

“I’ll show you.” Baz whispers. He closes his eyes and leans in.

Simon is frozen. Baz is kissing him, softly. He thinks that has to be the softest that anyone has ever been kissed. Simon realizes he’s not kissing back, but Baz has already pulled away. Simon uses all the courage he has to wrap his free hand around the back of Baz’s neck, the other one still tight in Baz’s grasp, and pulls him back in.

This time Simon kisses back. It’s definitely not as soft as the first time, either. Even kissing has to be a fight between them; Simon pushing at Baz with all he’s got while Baz does the same.

Baz moves his hand from under Simon’s chin to hold his cheek, and brings the other one up to grip at the nape of his neck. He twirls the short ends of Simon’s hair in his fingers, making Simon sigh into Baz’s mouth.

They finally break apart after what seems like years of kissing and rest their foreheads together. Simon’s hand is spread wide on Baz’s back; they’re pressed against each other and Simon can feel Baz’s hip bone digging into his stomach. He doesn’t care though, he just brings his hand around from Baz’s back and drags it across his stomach. The way Baz’s eyes flutter closed and the sigh he lets out at that prompts Simon to keep doing it.

“Why’d you call me an idiot?” Simon asks.

“Hm?” Baz opens his eyes to look at Simon, “Oh, because you are.” That earns him a light shove on the shoulder, but he just smiles. “I called you an idiot because it amazes me how long it took you to realize I like you.”

“Not fair. I was a little busy trying not to get killed, if you hadn’t noticed.” Simon crosses his arms and fakes an angry look.

“I notice everything about you, Snow.”

“You can call me Simon, you know.” He keeps his arms crossed, but nudges his shoulder forward into Baz’s upper arm.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Baz smirks and brings his hands up to shove back at Simon, and not a light shove. Simon falls back and lands on the bed with a grunt, his arms coming uncrossed to try and brace his landing.

He props himself up on his elbows and watches as Baz follows him onto the bed; swallows thickly when Baz settles on top of his thighs, his cleated feet on either side of Simon’s body.

Baz places his hand next to Simon’s head, the other resting on Simon’s hip, and lowers his body until their faces are only a few inches apart.

“I thought you were going to practice.” Simon can feel Baz’s breath on his face.

“It can wait.” Baz mumbles, before leaning in and closing the distance between him and Simon for the third time.

#carry on fanfic #my fanfic #carry on #snowbaz #snowbaz fanfic #simon snow #baz pitch #penelope bunce #agatha wellbelove #fake dating au #fake relationship au

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sweetdreamr · 7 years

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thoughts on thor: ragnarok

I’m gonna preface this by saying that I really really wanted to like this movie. Like. Really.

But, as the Rolling Stones once said, we can’t always get what we want.

Be warned, this is long af.

Hits:

--Valkyrie--um, lethal, gorgeous, haunted by her past? Yes please. I’ve been a sucker for that one since my Xena fangirl days. Her bond with Hulk was also funny and warm (”Angry girl!” made me smile, the more so because she seemed less angry around him.) It was nice to see somebody having fun around here.

--Hela-- Her costume was epic. I was antsy about what they’d do with her clothing, given that it can be pretty, uh, minimal in the comics sometimes. Fortunately that didn’t happen here. She was equal parts scary, funny, and seriously badass, and i enjoyed the parallels between her relationship with Odin, and that of Loki and Thor.

--Grandmaster was fucking hilarious and occasionally cruel, and who knew Jeff Goldblum could rock blue eye makeup like that?

--Fenris. I still wanna pet the puppy. Even undead he is floofy and gorgeous.

--Thor having to see Hulk naked. That’s karma, asshole.

--Loki’s costumes were fantastic, and his ability to be equally resilient yet able to charm his way into the Grandmaster’s good graces (and STAY there, since the Grandmaster is fickle af) is one of the few things about him that stayed in-character.

--It’s nice to see Loki supporting the arts in Asgard. Also, eating healthy is important. U go Loki.

--Matt Damon had the role of a lifetime as Loki. He may as well end his career now, since it’s not gonna get any better than that.

--Odin’s death scene was really beautifully done. Even if Odin suddenly being about to die made no fucking sense. At least he doesn’t seem pissed at Loki, and let us have a nice little moment between them.

--I liked the acknowledgement that Odin’s power and wealth has a really ugly history. For all Asgard’s beauty, it’s built on something truly hideous.

--Loki: “You had ONE JOB.”

--Thor is right about Hulk’s room and its stylistic choices. It was ugly af.

--Literally everything Heimdall. He gets better with every film, but goddamn does he need more scenes. Still, his hair looks great and he’s the unsung hero of the film.

--Thor losing his eye and becoming more like Odin, but hopefully better. Also, harnessing his lightning/thunder powers fucking ruled.

--”Oh? You’re the God of Hammers now?” Odin pls stop making me laugh. I’m trying to hate you over here.

Misses:

Oh boy here we go, strap in kiddies.

--Odin’s power and legacy is shown, as mentioned above, to come from true ugliness, and yet? He doesn’t have to answer for it at all, and instead dies a peaceful death. I liked that scene, don’t get me wrong, but what the fuck?

--Really, Loki? Skurge was the best replacement you could find for Heimdall? Maybe try Ziprecruiter or something next time?

--Thor. Um, has anyone seen this guy? Do you think he knows that some douchebag stole his outfit and is douching his way around the multiverse pretending to be the God of Thunder for most of the film? More on this later.

--Why would the realms have gone to hell after Loki assumed the throne? Nothing in his past within the films indicated to me that he’d be a poor ruler, certainly no worse than Odin. He might get bored with it, and come to dislike it, but Loki can and does do many things he doesn’t particularly like, and does them well. (Exhibit A: playing second fiddle to Thor, etc.)

--How the fuck did Loki’s spell drain Odin of his magic? Also, if Loki is that powerful, how the fuck did Dr. Strange manage to trap him for 30 seconds, let alone 30 minutes?

--Seriously, Odin’s death made no goddamn sense. At all.

--I’m calling a bam on Thor saying “I have a feeling it will all work out fine.” THOR. IT GETS WORSE AFTER YOU SAY THAT. EVERY TIME. STOP.

--Dr. Strange’s cameo was a waste of my fucking time. That’s like 20 minutes of my time that I will never get back. You’d think, being such an experienced actor, that Benedict Cumberbatch’s American accent would be way better, but it sounds awful. Like, really really awful. I’d rather fall for 30 minutes with Loki than have to listen to that auditory nightmare again.

--Who was Hela’s mother? (I mean given that her father is Odin, her mother could be pretty much ANYONE.) Not a big deal that we never found out, but it annoyed me anyway.

--Are we gonna talk about how Hulk has spent the last two years fucking murdering people?

--Also, how the fuck did Odin convince an entire kingdom (or NINE) that his daughter never existed? I’m assuming magic, but as the writers didn’t give enough of a damn to think this was worth explaining, I’m not about to theorize and do their job for them.

--WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SUBJECTED TO HULK’S NAKED ASS? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE HAVING TO SEE THAT WITH MY OWN EYEBALLS. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

--The Warriors Three died the most pointless fucking deaths ever, literally for no goddamn reason. There was no need to kill them off, since it would have been perfectly logical for Thor to send them to various parts of the realms to restore peace. Honestly, the only reason for their deaths that I can fathom would have been to increase Thor’s grief, but we never see him learn of their deaths or mourn them, so that can’t be it. Again, pointless.

Remember when I said I’d talk about Thor’s OOC behavior later? It’s later. And OH BOY do i have a lot to say.

--I’m about to contact the authorities and put in an MIA search for Loki and Thor’s character development. It was nowhere to be seen in this film. They were just tossed straight into their old cycle of betray, threaten, beat up. It’s stupid as fuck, and I’m really fucking annoyed that I have to sit through this again. Sometimes it’s entertaining but at this point? It’s just tedious.

I’d also like to point out that the initial relationship presented to us in the first Thor film was really not that cycle. It’s vaguely hinted at, but not completely spelled out. There was genuine love and affection punctuated by the occasional prank, but that’s pretty much all I got. While I recognize that the cycle is a central theme in the comics, the film versions are very, very different. That said, it makes giving the film characters the storylines of their comic book counterparts is a tricky business that needs to be handled a LOT better than it was here.

Spoiler alert: It was not handled well here. At all.

Oh, then there’s Thor’s repeated line of “That’s what heroes do”, which was reminiscent of this:

Not a great parallel to evoke, guys. I’m just saying.

Because last time I checked, heroes don’t leave their brothers tazed and convulsing on the floor. That’s not a hero move, that’s a dick move. Thor is supposed to have evolved from that, and bringing it back for the sake of punchline just feels like a cheap-ass way of getting laughs. (Yes, there’s the possibility that they planned this together, but again, I’m not wasting my time honeypotting for hack writers.)

I mean, the Thor we’ve been presented with so far is warm-hearted and smarter than most people think, and he does his best to make things right when he fucks up.

Except for this movie, apparently.

Also, while I didn’t mind Loki’s ‘looking out for ME’ mindset (it’s one of the few things that actually made sense--I mean fuck, who else is gonna do it?), Thor’s surprise at it was kind of ridiculous. What the fuck did you expect? It’s like he totally forgot that, at the end of the first film, he realized his role in inflicting damage onto Loki that helped to make him into what he was.

Instead it was like:

Um yes. Yes it fucking does. Does this negate Loki’s choices, or his actions? Fuck no. But it did play a role, so let’s at least acknowledge that, shall we? Having said that, it’s logical to conclude that continuing the same behavior that inflicted the initial damage is counterproductive at best. And a shitty creative choice if ever there was one.

Thor’s anger over Odin’s death, and Loki’s supposed causing of it (albeit intentionally) made sense, (i guess? i didn’t understand Odin’s death scene in case u hadn’t noticed) but it was done in such a weird way. “I hate you, oh no wait let’s banter, oh okay now i’m mad at you again, whoops no i’m not” all throughout the film. Conflicting feelings is one thing, but goddamn, pick a fucking flavor.

Also, what the fuck is Marvel’s issue with portraying psychological trauma? The way they do it, it’s like it isn’t even worth mentioning unless it can be played for laughs. (See: Naked Selvig running around in TDW, without much reference as to why he’s doing that. “Oh he’s naked hahaha”, yeah, let’s not treat this with any sympathy at ALL, good job Marvel.)

And in Loki’s case? Oh God. The whole scene where he sees Hulk again is just. So awful. That it’s played for laughs makes it worse. Loki getting his comeuppance from Hulk during the first film after trying to use him actually had purpose (Loki’s defeat and Hulk’s taking revenge at being used), but since he hasn’t done anything to Hulk during Ragnarok, it’s just not all that funny.

I mean, fucking hell, psychological trauma does have absurdities that can lend their way to humor, but doing it at the expense of the traumatized person is fucked up and gross. Whether or not the traumatized person is a nice person or not really doesn’t come into it. Or at least, it shouldn’t.

Myy good friend @icyxmischief has a lot of meta about this on her blog, and she’s way more eloquent than me, so please go read it. It’s amazeballs.

#thor: ragnarok #thor: ragnarok spoilers #i am not a satisfied customer

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travellers-survivor-old-west · 5 years

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Episode 4: “Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where”- Austin

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I kinda wish our tribe would lose just so I could see where the lines are tbh. Also I have a bad feeling that at a swap/merge our tribe is gonna be picked off because we’re going in with the most numbers and on a base level that’s dangerous; however, I do think it could be deeper than that because of the preconceived relationships and I’m looking forward to seeing who goes home tonight and where we go from here.

This round was a little wild for me. Austin has been my fave since the beginning and we finally created an alliance. We both liked eve so that was easy but we wanted one more person. This is where things got a little complicated. Him and eve both liked isaac but honestly i wasnt feeling isaac and love pat. But i didnt want to push too hard so we just went ahead with isaac.

BUT we also talked to pat and will have ANOTHER alliance with him (so austin, pat and me). SO basically im working with everyone right now except keaton. Im glad our tribe has been killing it because that means no TC wooo

We tribe swapped so that is fun. It's always interesting to have a switch up. I have still yet to be screwed by a tribe swap in my entire history of playing ORGs which is something I am happy with. This is one of the best iterations of a tribe I can think of actually. I can forge a closer bond with Xander and Dylan, because now if we lose I won't need to vote one of them out, they become my core 3. So, right after the swap I made an OG Malakoff chat with myself, Xander, and Dylan. I just wanted the immediacy to show that I was serious in wanting to stick to that, which I am. I have communicated several times that I want to work with Isaac, so ideally Austin will go in the event that we lose. I feel bad because he is a sweetheart, but he doesn't fit into my strategy, and if anyone understands game being game, he does.

I love my new tribe??? Not only is nick still here so that gives me a safety net, the sammy I like is here. Pat is here. No idea who eve is but that’s okay too. I’m loving this. Inb4 I get voted out next Bc they actually really fucking hate me :^). Byebye payton it was nice kinda knowing you? Hello ~hopefully~ friends <3

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack.

Tribe swap....just what I didn't want to happen . I dont ha e my #1 ashley with me but at least I got issac here. Jared is on my tribe now too so that could go either way for me because he knows how I play the game. Gonna have to pull something out if my ass here .

This is for Alyssa you dumb ugly fat white bitch why you keep asking me for a confessional with trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch x Anyways. Made an alliance with Pat and Sammy! V excited to work with them but we’re snapping in immunity so, I don’t see why we would need to vote off Vi.... I mean someone at tribal! Hehe

Well....we got our last handed to us. I'm not happy going to tribal bc I feel I'll be the one going. I talk with jared and issac the most but I feel jared will stick with xander and dylan. Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where.

I have been busy the past couple of days so this challenge being a endurance/speed comp was a struggle. And it looks like my team didn't do much. To help... It's fine we can get out one of these other two dead weights. Speaking of them. Im glad the swap merged me with two allies but the other two just suck to talk to... And that's coming from me .. Jess knows what I'm talking about. Anyways I don't want them here and want them gone. As for my allies. I like Jared a lot we are getting along and enjoying ourselves. He's definitely the one I trust most in this game and hopefully it gets me to merge where I can start phase 2 and hopefully get far. Dylan is fine .. he's offline a lot but he's from old tribe so like it helps.

Just finished the challenge, OH MY GOD i suck at trivia but thankfully sammy snapped and we won, thank u sammy love u so much!!! Still dont believe he is straight tho x IM JOKING PLS DONT KILL MEDFHNSJFDH

I hate confessions. That’s my confession for the round... jkjk. Eh there isn’t much to talk about now that it’s tribal time. I hope whoever from our og tribe stays safe but I forgot who is there so oops. Sammy killed it. I still call bs on the centipede question but oh well. It wouldn’t have changed the result. It would have just made the gap close by 1.

LOVE MY NEW TRIBE. So happy we swapped. I’m with actual love of my life ASHLEY!!! And Chloe is amazing too. Aidan popped off in the challenge. Keaton is Keaton. This is a good group and I’m glad they did rlly well in the challenge. I love this kind of thing but I wasn’t able to constantly be on my phone all weekend bc that’s rude :( so I’m glad it worked out. Hoping the tribe swap works out in our favor and Xander jared and Dylan stay together for the vote. Idk if Isaac and jared are friends??? I hope Isaac leaves because he knows I’m a ‘threat’ in games and because I think Ashley yelled at him once. Idk who Austin is but Ashley likes him. But idk how likely that is if Isaac and jared have a connection. As long as jared stays safe ifgaf who leaves.

Yowza. We got absolutely wrecked in the challlenge. I don't WANT to lose any challenges, but I believe in the long run I should be happy to take this L. As another way to show my loyalty, I decided to give my idol progress in the chat with Xander and Dylan. I noticed Dylan never reciprocated so that gives me 1 reason to be wary. Then, Dylan posted a very inappropriate joke in the tribe chat in reference to Survivor Thailand, and the word "rape" was used, so that was the 2nd thing to make me uneasy. At first, Dylan and Xander had no opinion on who to vote, so I voiced that I would like to vote Austin- then Dylan remembered who Isaac is and said "he can go." I eventually got things back on track to target Austin, but Dylan better be careful- it's 3 strikes and you're out with me. I have a good relationship with Isaac so I wouldn't be surprised to see Dylan go if we lose again.

Day 9 on the survivor tribe. My thoughts are about toes and only toes. They are consuming my entire day. I exist merely to think of toes.

Also Chloe...

Okay so I’m just gonna throw down some of my thoughts right now since I’ve been very quiet in confessionals. I fucking hate these small ass fucking tribes. It makes the thought of going to tribal terrifying because your odds of going home are increased. Since the swap ive actually really been enjoying my time, I really like my new tribe and I feel I can actually connect with these people better than on my first tribe. I am glad to actually have Aidan with me because he’s like THE person I want to work with from my og tribe, along with Vi. I still have my reservations on Nick even though I think he’s nice I can’t trust him as far as I could throw him. I really feel that the trivia challenge brought us closer together as a tribe since what’s a better bonding experience than yelling at Jess that she’s wrong 50 times in one day. I think we’re all collectively quite strong and I really hope that means we can slide past for a while without going to tribal.

Honestly i always forget what i confess from last time but i still think I’m in a good position in the game. However I really do not want to go to tribal because I don’t want to show my cards. Eve and Pat both want me to work with them so we have an alliance and then Vi and Nick approached me and want to work with me as well. This was completely surprising to me bc I felt as if I would just be an easy vote out if we were to go to tribal since I’m a lone wolf. However I’m in the middle and I feel somewhat powerful knowing that people want to keep me and want to work with me. Me and nick have had a rocky relationship in past games but i think he’s a great person. He’s just a wildcard. I love vi and i think she’s the sweetest person to have ever existed but my gut is telling me to work with pat and Eve atleast for the first vote. Hopefully I don’t have to make the decision but who knows. That’s all I have for now other than I think the idol system isn’t anything I keep getting zapped. I feel like a fly in a southern home...ZAP.

I couldn’t remember the day so I put 69. I hate this tribe with my whole heart and my whole bussy. Jared is the only one giving me any sort of shot at making it passed this round. Austin is a slime ball who will do anything to save his own skin, Xander is dead apparently, and Dylan has been tracking down places where famous people died. I feel like this is my own personal hell and while I’ve been assured that Austin is going home (which I wouldn’t be surprised was a lie) I still have to make a swap or a merge and with the clowns on this tribe being inactive and never talking about anything but Star Wars or not talking at all I don’t know how possible it is to win a goddamn challenge.

*insert Da'vonne pretends to be shoocked gif at a swap* Since it didn't happen at 16 I wasn't surprised too see it at 15 but I'm glad because three tribes provides for much more buffer. My initial reaction to my tribe was positive as I saw that I had Chloe and three new people in the mix. I'm not gonna lie that I was getting bored on my old tribe but I do hope that Nick is doing alright. He's one ally that I'd love to connect with again... Vi is alright too but I don't know how strong of a connection we fostered. First impressions of my new tribemates: Keaton - I heard he was fucking with my friend in another game so my guard was up but I tried and he seems aloof and random with his contributions but it makes sense since he's playing 4 games at once. Will probably work off of the others who contribute in challenges? We'll see. Ashley - Sweet and seems like a hard worker. Not too much of a read on her yet Owen - He seems nice and genuine but not much of a read from a game perspective yet. It seems the split is 2-2-1 on my tribe from previous tribes but I don't know how strict to tribal lines people are going to play but I can feel some aloofness with Keaton and Ashley is traveling so... that's that on that. If we were going to tribal I have no idea what the fuck would happen but I want to strengthen connections. Honestly I think we can make it to the merge without hitting an elimination but who knows. THANKFULLLLLLLY my ass had a lucky night on the railroads and jumped to spot number fifty and apparently found a STEAL A VOTE. This is what I DESERVE. Thank you Old West Gods for blessing me, the star, with this iconic power. I'm glad I have it in my back pocket and I'm not telling a fucking soul. If it needs to be used, it will be flaunted and I will pop shit. Hopefully I can save it for after merge but if I need to control a pre-merge vote just to get my way, I'm going to do it.

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https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-ep-2

#yeehaw

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