#being forced to center his work around these concepts. but it never lead him anywhere

[dj-wayback]

[PRIVATE BROADCAST: 1 Anonymous participant (BC, NS)]

BC: With all the talk about your work on finding the solution NS, I would want to ask-

BC: What research do you conduct? What recent iterations have you completed?

BC: I seem to find another that still has not given up on the problem. I am one of those too.

BC: Personally, I specialize more in simulations. How about you?

I’ve always tried to partake in a little bit of everything. I create programs, run simulations…and yet, my main area of expertise have always been calculations. Not objective, tangible ones, no—theoretical. Math that exists in a hypothetical state. While it might sound…paradoxical, I suppose, considering my stance on such subjects, calculating the statistical possibilities of certain events happening has always been my biggest focus.

…I understand that might not be fully getting the point across. Now, allow me to try and reimagine this in clearer terms: my research centers around alternate universes. Around their possible existence, of course, along with if it is plausible to somehow travel to said universes; along with the nature of the Cycle—if it is, perhaps, a pocket dimension of its own, duplicating in on itself, and particularly if it even exists as a concept in other universes. If it doesn’t, perhaps that might’ve been the Answer this whole time—if, somehow, there was a feasible way to transmit oneself to a universe such as that…well. That would’ve been it.

...But, as you can clearly see, I am still just standing here, unable to provide you with a proper answer—despite all my time and effort, as much as I loathe to admit it, my research has been rather futile. It has lead me nowhere—universes, the Cycle…it’s just dead-end after dead-end. Perhaps it is because I’ve never been one for entertaining pointless mind exercises such as these, but once upon a time even I had some hope for a project like this to—

…

Apologies. I shouldn’t bring my own personal feelings into this, even if the lack of concrete results is very frustrating. However, has left me no choice but to continue my endeavors, no matter how tired of this back-and-forth I’ve become.

[theres-a-goldensky]

30 More The Untamed Fic Recs

Here we go again. Another Wangxian rec list. Are you bored of me yet?

Were these recs helpful to you? If so, you can check out my other Wangxian rec posts:

Part 1 - 40 recs

Part 2 - 23 recs

Part 3 - 23 recs

As ever, feel free to reblog.

You can also head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

1. say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn - ~69,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian after he adopts a small A-Yuan, because Wei Wuxian also has a past with him. Lots of adorable family feelings and emotional hurt/comfort.

As often happened, Wei Ying’s voice preceded his entrance, calling to his co-worker through the open door, “Frankie, they forgot to order spoons again, can you hold down the fort a little longer while I —”

Lan Wangji was already looking to his entrance, head turning as if magnetized toward the voice, so he saw the moment when Wei Ying’s eyes landed on A-Yuan and the smile fell from his face. He looked stricken, and Lan Wangji immediately looked to his son in alarm. A-Yuan seemed fine. His small eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown as he looked back at Wei Ying, but that wasn’t surprising, given the expression on Wei Ying’s face. Lan Wangji had seen that face beaming, laughing, whining, wheedling, and occasionally angry, but never like this. He looked blank and hollow and it stirred something fierce in Lan Wangji: he wanted to rise up and obliterate whatever was making him look like that. Then his eyes lifted to Lan Wangji and there was a flash of something almost like betrayal, before he pressed his lips together and turned his back.

“I’m going to run out to the store and get spoons,” he said in a flat voice to his co-worker, and left without looking their way again.

2. the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships - ~41,000 words, mature - This is an AU of the novel where Wei Wuxian puts two and two together when Lan Zhan sneaks that kiss from him. It changes a lot of things.

Against his own will, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Wangji’s hands. They were… certainly large enough that one of them could wrap around both of his wrists. And Lan Wangji was certainly strong enough, tall enough, broad-shouldered enough to bodily pin him against the trunk of a tree with no chance of him breaking free. Lan Wangji was the first person he’d come across in his slow comb through the vicinity of where he’d been so headily kissed.

Wei Wuxian drew a sharp breath. There was a connection to be made here. He didn’t think he was crazy enough to make it. Perhaps he truly was going slightly insane with demonic cultivation if he could believe Lan Wangji, the paragon of virtue and respectability, who lived unflinchingly under Gusu Lan’s three thousand edicts, who had at best only tolerated his presence as children, would sneak up to him while he was blindfolded, pin him against a tree, and steal a kiss from him in broad daylight.

3. and his wanting grows teeth by yukla - ~25,000 words, teen - This is a very interesting AU where Lan Zhan is a traveling cultivator and runs into Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs looking for shelter during a snowstorm. No spoilers, but this fic goes to a pretty dark place that genuinely shocked me, but I enjoyed. (Still ends well though.)

Without further ado, they are hustled past the entrance and into a smaller greeting area. Huang-bobo approaches the brazier in the center with his hands outstretched, warming his fingers in the heat, but Lan Wangji hangs back. As he carefully brushes the snow free from his shoulders, he feels the burn of a curious gaze trailing up and down his body, lingering at the guqin still strapped to his back; when the sensation pauses at his face and stays there, he lifts his head.

The boy with the ribbon lights up at the eye contact, flashes another dazzling smile, and gives a little wave.

“You must be new here,” he whispers, something like laughter threaded into his voice, eyes scrunching into winking half-moons. “All dressed up in white like that! You might lose yourself in the snowstorm!”

Something stirs to life in Lan Wangji’s chest. It’s—uncomfortable, he decides, and so he steps away. Teasing should not be encouraged with a response.

4. Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller - ~15,000 words, not rated - After Wei Ying's death, his spirit seems to linger. The story is told from Lan Xichen's point of view. I love an outsider point of view. I also love the way the author fleshes out his character as well.

Lan Xichen means to force his way inside, angry ghost of the Yiling Patriarch or no, but then his brother lets out slow breath, settling, the pain easing from his face as he falls back into a more peaceful sleep.

His hair is moving on its own, so subtly Lan Xichen might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at Wangji so intently. It’s like someone’s running their hand through his hair.

The window frosts over suddenly, thick enough that he can’t see through it. Anxiety spikes through him so quickly he’s nauseous with it, but then the frost melts away and the opening notes of Healing start up again.

He can’t tell if it’s a warning or not. Maybe it’s just an acknowledgement. Wei Wuxian knows he’s there.

5. **leading tone by silencemostofall - ~32,000 words, general - This is a modern AU set in a world where people who love you leave a mark of color on you the first time you touch. Wei Wuxian has no color on him. So much emotional hurt/comfort. So much of Wei Wuxian's terrible self-esteem.

He can cover up his palms with his gloves, so that the blankness does not draw stares. But he has no marks on his fingertips, which he cannot easily hide, and none visible on his face or neck, the blankness of which is even more difficult to hide. People look at him and, with a single glance, understand the single most devastating truth that he knows about himself.

They assume that he does not have very many marks. He may be an eccentric, dramatic person, but the likelihood that an individual has all of their marks on, say, their feet or their torso or other places that are not immediately obvious-- that probability goes down as your number of marks increases. He can laugh as much as he wants about how he loves touching people for the first time with odd places, like the knee or the elbow, but it doesn't quite mask the feeling of other that he knows he exudes.

They assume that he does not have a lot of marks. This, while a heavy weight, is not unbearably so. It is okay that they think he is not much loved. It chafes a bit, and feels occasionally like something he has to furiously push down within himself, but it is not unbearable. What would be unbearable is if they knew the truth: that he does not just have very few marks, but none. That he is simply an individual who is not loved at all.

6. **pastel by antebunny - ~7,000 words, gen - This is a remix work of the above fic. It's from Lan Zhan's point of view and just different enough to be interesting. Still lots of emotional hurt/comfort. I love this concept a whole lot, and both of these fics are great.

It’s a simmering day in May, and Wei Ying is wearing long sleeves, long pants, and gloves.

His choice of dress isn’t unusual for many reasons. For one, there’s plenty of people who don’t like strangers seeing their soulmarks. There’s plenty of people who wish to keep them private by covering them up. For another, Wei Ying spends most of his day in various chilly computer science department rooms, He could just be wearing long sleeves for that.

7. one good thing by Yuu_chi - ~27,000 words, teen - Wei Wuxian has died (or did he??) and is haunting his old home. Lan Zhan moves in. This story has a happy ending! And so much yearning!

To the flowers struggling to grow on the other side of the glass, he says, “We’re getting a new roommate. Well, I’m getting a new roommate - you’re getting somebody who might actually be able to water you for a change.” The flowers outside sway a little in the breeze, and Wei Wuxian nods contemplatively. “He can’t be any worse than the last guy who lived here. Remember when I spooked him while he was cooking and he nearly burnt the house down? Of course you don’t. You’re fucking foliage, your memory is worse than mine. I remember though, so it’s cool.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him and Wei Wuxian looks up to see the stranger has entered the kitchen, setting the last of the boxes down on the table. Disgustingly neat handwriting declares the box kitchen - homeware. The stranger carefully brushes his hair back from his face and, without so much as a second of hesitation, cracks open the box and begins unpacking.

“Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?” Wei Wuxian marvels. “You literally just got here - who cares about unpacking? Sit down for a moment, breathe, have something to eat. It’s not going anywhere.”

8. with you, I am home by tellthemstories - ~47,000 words, mature - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is being forced to return home to entertain marriage proposals. So naturally instead he "convinces" Lan Zhan to pretend to date him. I love a good fake dating fic, and this one hits all the right beats.

Lan Zhan does that almost-smile thing that Wei Wuxian takes to mean he’s happy, or at the very least not-mad. “You don’t have any money.”

“Not true. I have the money from our last job, when we settled the vengeful spirit for the flower shop girl.” (He doesn’t. They have Lan Zhan’s money. Wei Wuxian spent his on a pack of loquats and three bottles of Emperor’s Smile wine.)

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “Do it for me.”

Thinking back on it two weeks later, standing alone in the middle of Jin Ling’s graduation banquet and watching Lan Zhan walk away from him, Wei Wuxian realises that this, this was the moment when he should have known. He should have realised in the way Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate or negotiate and just says with that half-fond, half-exasperated tone he gets sometimes, “Fine.”

9. and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen - ~11,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying can't find Lan Zhan, but hey, there happens to be a rabbit here instead. Features a very slow Wei Ying, emotional hurt/comfort and accidental love confessions.

Immediately, his heart settles and he grins down at his new friend. “Oh, hello there,” he coos, reaching out to pet the fluffy ears. The bunny is very, very still under his hand.

“Did Lan Zhan bring you today?,” he continues cooing. “I’m sorry I missed that, but your Dad didn’t tell me he was bringing you.”

Lan Zhan rarely brings his rabbits to work since they are as tolerant of crowds and unnecessary noise as he is. They were probably relevant to today’s lesson but…

Wei Ying frowns. “Why would he leave you alone? And where is your cage?”

10. how, or when, or from where by sarahyyy - ~10,000 words, gen - Wei Ying wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and can't remember the last few years of his life, including his best friend and the guy he's in love with.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes so hard Wei Wuxian is surprised his eyeballs don’t just fall out of his eye sockets. “That’s the worst part. He did. Whatever mating ritual you both have going on is so fucking weird, Wei Wuxian.” He snorts. “If you’d stayed asleep for any longer, I’d have lost my shit and thrown my myself out a window just so I wouldn’t have to talk to Lan Wangji again.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “Is this a good time to ask who Lan Wangji is?”

Jiang Cheng glares at him. “Your Lan Zhan,” he says, annoyed. Wei Wuxian must look as confused as he feels, because Jiang Cheng’s annoyance bleeds out into concern. “Your Lan er-gege? Your soulmate, Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No bells are ringing.”

11. ** a shared plate by yukla - ~26,000 words, teen - This is an absolutely gorgeous fic about Wei Wuxian traveling the world post-canon to rediscover himself and restore his faith in humanity and eventually find his way back to Lan Zhan. The whole thing is great, but the last two chapters are just *chef's kiss*

Lan Zhan,

Just as the mountains stand unchanging and the green rivers flow ceaselessly, we will meet again — and between then and now, you cannot hope to avoid my letters, either! Haha! Lan Zhan, I’ve seen so many things and met so many people, and it’s only been a month!

I miss you already

It’s so hot that I find myself missing the wind in Gusu’s mountains. Your poor Wei Ying is I’m melting away, Lan Zhan...

I’m realizing now, sixteen years is a long time to be away — the world is vast, and quite a bit different than I remembered. And in sixteen years, a child can also grow up into a man! It’s your job to catch me up on A-Yuan’s fun childhood stories! I do remember hearing something about a pile of rabbits...

12. with your arms outstretched to me by annemari - ~14,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan finally gets up the nerve to ask Wei Ying on a date, but things don't go as expected. Features emotional hurt/comfort (are we sensing a theme with these recs??) and just regular hurt/comfort.

"Oh, man, I was hoping you had some water with you," Wei Ying says. "I totally forgot to bring any for myself. Stupid of me."

"There is enough for both of us," Lan Wangji says. He has another bigger bottle in the car, as well.

Wei Ying hums but he only takes a few sips. He presses it back into Lan Wangji's hand. "I don't need any more."

Lan Wangji is considering arguing, but then Wei Ying shifts a bit, moving his ankle, and gasps very, very quietly.

13. ** A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart - ~22,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian has finished traveling and returned to the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan. But their lives never do run smoothly.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, recognizing him after a moment. His heart slams against his rib cage. “Where is Lan Zhan? What’s happened?”

Lan Jingyi flaps a hand at him, gulping air. Wei Wuxian hands him the water, and leans back against Little Apple’s side as he waits impatiently for the boy to get his breath back.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Jingyi gasps, just as Wei Wuxian is about to throttle a proper answer out of him. “Hanguang Jun was in such a state when he woke up, we didn’t know if you’d come and gone already.”

“Where is he, Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, as evenly as he can. “What happened?”

14. So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend - ~14,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel extraordinary pain unless he's touching Lan Zhan. Yet more of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues and Lan Zhan's steadfast devotion.

“Are you hurt, Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks, pressing his hand to Wei Ying’s forehead to feel his temperature. There is no fever, but that doesn’t do much to mitigate Lan Wangji’s worries.

“No—I’m not hurt,” says Wei Ying, sagging forward to lean his weight into Lan Wangji’s hand like he can’t help himself.

It’s so strange—Lan Wangji can feel what Wei Ying is feeling. Although the relief is still very profound, wisps of other things are making themselves known; happiness; wistfulness; guilt. It’s all so fleeting that Lan Wangji can’t even begin to deduce what has provoked those feelings, but he wishes he knew their source.

15. puzzle pieces by Anonymous - ~6,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are roommates, and Wei Ying has started borrowing Lan Zhan's clothes.

“Hm? Oh.” With sleepy eyes that does— things to Lan Zhan’s heart, he blinks and tugs at the lower hem of the shirt, which is riding just above the curve of his thighs. Does Lan Zhan’s mouth water? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. “Ah, yeah, sorry. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ He blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that Lan Zhan wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks. But he can’t say that, and his tongue doesn’t know how to say anything else. So he stays silent.

“Oh,” Wei Ying says after a moment. “If you—oh, damn, I should’ve known, this is like real silk, must’ve been super expensive. Fuck. Okay, here, uh, I’ll take it off—“

16. ** Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl - ~60,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Ying is trying to be a good brother and get Jiang Cheng laid. Somehow this plan involves pretending to date Lan Zhan.

"I won't!" Wei Ying insists. "I'll ask out someone...high stakes. I'll find someone. I'll...okay, how's this? I swear that I'll ask someone out and keep at it for at least two dates."

"No."

"Three dates."

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, five. That's fair! That's more than fair! One person, five dates." He points at Jiang Cheng. "You have to do it, too. That's how a pact works."

Jiang Cheng stares at him. "Five dates," he says flatly. "Five. And yours can't be Nie Huaisang."

17. i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) - ~43,000 words, explicit - This is a Modern AU and a Cherry Magic AU! (Side note: GO WATCH CHERRY MAGIC IF YOU HAVEN'T.) But in short, Wei Ying turns 30 without losing his virginity and gets the power to hear people's thoughts when he touches them. He gets more than he bargained for with Lan Zhan. The author does a good job of translating the story to these characters. Wei Ying is not forced to be like Adachi, the main character of Cherry Magic. He's still himself, and the same goes for Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s voice is so clear, so sudden that it’s as though it’s spoken, the slice of a sharp object through velvet.

He’s touching me.

Wei Ying startles for a moment, wonders if he’d somehow heard his own thoughts instead, but — no, that had definitely been Lan Zhan’s steady, factual baritone, loud and clear.

God, this is still so weird. It still doesn’t seem totally real. But how else can he account for hearing Lan Zhan’s voice in his head, as clearly as if he’d spoken to Wei Ying directly?

18. like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar - ~37,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are roommates, and Lan Zhan just finds himself wanting to take care of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s roommate. Is a problem.

He doesn’t get an answer to the roommate problem until the next morning, when Lan Xichen texts him telling him that the apartment he’d suggested (and helped pay rent for) to Lan Wangji said in the small text that it’d be two people per apartment, the second bedroom wasn’t actually a guest bedroom, sorry, Wangji, you can move in with me if you want, I have space —

No. Thank you for your kind offer, Brother, but I will be quite fine, Lan Wangji texts back.

19. ** some impulse of delight by handclaps - ~20,000 words, explicit - College AU where Wei Ying decides he needs to help Lan Zhan get used to touching people. Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying is dumb and in love. Lan Zhan is less dumb, but still as in love.

Lan Zhan shakes his head and fumbles, tries to push the cotton wool into Wei Wuxian’s hand.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, realising. “Touching people, I know.”

He feels dumb. He thought he’d worn Lan Zhan down more than this, that they were friends now and that his whole no touching thing was mostly overcome. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand easily, right? He looks down at his belly full of scratches, dabbing at them moodily.

“Sorry,” he says, again.

Lan Zhan makes some kind of noise, but he is busy packing the first aid kit back, placing everything exactly where it was before.

“Lan Zhan, you’re going to have to do something about this,” Wei Wuxian complains. “I know you don’t like touching people and usually it plays as a kind of gentlemanly thing, but what about emergencies?”

20. And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene - ~43,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian returns after a year of traveling and rejoins Lan Zhan in the Cloud Recesses. He's doing a good job of pining and ignoring the obvious. Look, at this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm a sucker for stories where Wei Wuxian deals with his ~*~issues~*~ and Lan Zhan takes care of him, whether he asks for it or not. This story has lots of that. I also enjoyed the case fic aspect of it.

“I do, I think,” Wei Wuxian admits. “Would be nice to see his face again after so long. And at least this time, I’m going to show up draped in finery. What do you think, Lan Zhan? I can’t possibly disgrace him—or you—wearing a cloak like that.”

“You could never disgrace me,” Lan Wangji says gently, that soft, affectionate look back on his face.

Wei Wuxian grins, warmed to the tips of his toes.

“I’ll remind you of that later. The next time I’m three jars deep and feeling especially shameless, you’ll have to remember those words, Lan Er-gege.”

“Of course,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian smiles some more, overwhelmed by fondness.

21. darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter - ~7,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian really, really wants Lan Zhan to call him 'gege'. Lan Zhan knows a trump card when he sees one.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

Lan Wangji knows he will not stop, regardless of what he calls him. Still, he thinks about it. If there really is a way to make Wei Wuxian stop, should he not consider it? He doesn’t have any real interest in curbing his husband’s insatiable mischievousness, but he does like knowing things about him—everything there is to know.

If there’s something that persuasive in the world, that it can bring Wei Wuxian into submission when no one is under threat, could he stop himself from seeking it?

22. your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - ~11,000 words, gen - Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui fic with the Wangxian in the background. Lan Sizhui wants another dad and Wei Wuxian wants a son, they just don't know how to explain that to each other.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

Lan Sizhui tucks his chin into his uncle’s shoulder, and lets his eyes fall closed.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Wen Ning whispers to him kindly.

Lan Sizhui takes a deep breath, and takes stock of all his aches, his ringing ear, his hollow chest, the way he had selfishly wanted Wei Wuxian to keep speaking to him in that careful voice, like he was just a child to be soothed and there was no real danger. How dangerous, to pretend. “No,” he lies. “It doesn’t hurt that much at all.”

23. when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool - ~26,000 words, teen - AU where Lan Zhan with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's one-month celebration. Things go down, and it leads to Lan Zhan discovering Wei Wuxian's missing golden core. This obviously will not do, and oh look, the best doctor in the world just happens to be right here.

“How—“ Lan Wangji chokes. “His core —?” He looks at Wen Ning, half accusatory in his shock. “Jin Zixun could not have—“

“No, no!” Wen Ning says, holding out his hands. “He hasn’t had one for years, don’t worry!”

This is not as reassuring as Wen Ning seems to think.

“Please explain,” Lan Wangji says, pained. He feels for Wei Wuxian’s pulse instead; in the absence of a golden core, it will have to do as reassurance that he’s still alive.

Wen Ning is so anxious that the story comes out in a ramble, out of order. Lan Wangji wants him to hurry up, but he’s also not confident in his own ability to speak, so he just keeps quiet and lets him talk. His heart feels as if it’s about to fall from his chest, beating nearly twice as fast as Wei Wuxian’s does under his fingers.

24. A Match in the Making by lareine - ~30,000 words, teen - A Modern AU where Wei Wuxian sees his single and bad ass friend Lan Zhan and his single and bad ass friend Mianmian and gets some very dumb ideas.

To return to the point: Lan Zhan was peak adulting. Mianmian was peak adulting. And if they were both at the peak, then they were on the same level. What level? That mysterious level thing that everyone mentioned when it came to dating.

Whatever level it was, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were on it together. Wei Ying nodded to himself. So, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were allowed to date each other. The next question was: were they compatible? Did they have chemistry or whatever the fuck people called it?

25. Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo - ~16,000 words, explicit - Lan Zhan gets cursed to say whatever he's thinking. So his worst nightmare. Mutual pining, first time, all good stuff.

Lan Wangji freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, lifting his eyes to stare at Wei Ying.

"I know! Just completely paralyzed." Wei Ying mimes being still as a board. "I don't know how long I lay there. It must have been two days at least. Good thing for Little Apple. He wandered back to the village when he got hungry, and eventually a few of them got brave enough to come look for me. When they rolled me over, the figure fell out of my hand and I could move again. Cunning little thing." He shakes his head. "I was weak as a kitten for a little while after they took me back to the village, and by the time I recovered, they'd burned the whole place to the ground. Such a waste."

Lan Wangji slowly lowers his chopsticks, heart racing unpleasantly. In his head, a picture of Wei Ying slowly wasting to death alone in the middle of the woods, with Lan Wangji a hundred miles away and none the wiser.

26. Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller - 13,000 words, no rating - Lan Zhan wants to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. There are some things he definitely didn't realize about Wei Ying.

“He has a life here,” he says down the line. He doesn’t say that he has a life here too, one he likes a lot more than the one he had before. He misses home. He’d miss Wei Ying more. But he doesn’t say that, doesn’t say how vibrant he is and how beautiful and how little interest Lan Zhan has at seeing him among the high society he grew up with.

“Well, your life is here, Wangji,” his brother says. “You can’t stay away from home forever. You’re going to have to see how he does with the rest of us sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.”

It might as well be never, as far as he’s concerned. His family can meet Wei Ying at their wedding.

“I’ll ask,” he says.

Wei Ying has no interest in cultivation politics. They’re horrible, the five clans have an iron tight alliance that’s thirty seconds away from collapsing in on itself the moment someone from one sect steps on another sect’s toes. It’s the worst and he hates it. Surely even just the idea of it will be so horrifying to Wei Ying that Lan Zhan will be able to tell his brother no.

27. just our hands clasped so tight by electrum ~4,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan really, really, really just wants to give Wei Ying everything he wants.

“Despite your best efforts,” Wei Wuxian agrees. He shakes his head in mock-dismay. “How much longer do you think that will last if you keep buying everything I look at?” When this, too, fails to soften Lan Zhan’s resolve, he tries a different tactic. “We couldn’t even afford potatoes,” he says. “Back when I was with the Wens, at the Burial Mounds. Only radishes! If I survived that, I can certainly survive without another pretty comb.”

Lan Zhan’s expression is at once unmoved and yet somehow stricken. “I would have bought Wei Ying potatoes,” he says, like Wei Wuxian doesn’t know, by this point, that Lan Zhan would buy him anything. “If I had known…”

28. ** Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller - ~64,000 words, no rating - Jin Ling & Wei Wuxian with Wangxian in the background. Jin Ling is the best boy! And as he tries to rehabilitate his sect and his family and keep himself alive at the same time, he realizes, horrifyingly, that he has to be the mature one.

29. ** an act too often neglected by Ariaste - Lan Xichen / Meng Yao, ~61,000 words, explicit - The Wangxian is in the background here, but the main story is about Lan Xichen meeting Meng Yao on a dating app and getting immediately dickmatized. Meanwhile. Meng Yao refuses to be won over by Lan Xichen's charm. It goes as well as you'd expect for him.

The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

Lan Xichen feels a low simmer of arousal kindle in the pit of his stomach, and he gazes at that word-- demanding --for nearly as long as he’d stared at the photograph. He swipes right.

A few minutes later, a notification pops up: < Hm, the size of your hands is promising.

This is familiar. This is the flirtation stage. Lan Xichen knows the steps to the dance.

30. My Land Beneath Me by longleggedgit - ~30,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is cast out of his sect and out of China to America. And Lan Zhan just...follows.

Lan Zhan always waited for his tea to cool before drinking, which meant he had nothing to do but give Wei Wuxian a judgmental look. “No more McDonald’s.”

“You’re just bitter because you get indigestion from anything that actually tastes good,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

Because Lan Zhan was insufferably mature and patient, he didn’t rise to the bait. “We have time to stop somewhere before class,” he said.

“Fine. But you’re paying this time.”

It was a bad joke, and predictably, fell flat; Lan Zhan was, after all, paying for everything, every time. Wei Wuxian frowned into his mug.

“You know,” he said, after another swallow, “you really don’t have to be here. I’m going to figure something out.”

*

Interested in 86 more The Untamed fic recs?

Part 1 - 40 recs Part 2 - 23 recs Part 3 - 23 recs

[lucky-dreamfisher]

The Illusion of Living Notes and Spoilers

I feel like enough time has passed for everyone who wanted to get the audiobook to get it, so here are all the notes I made while reading the book.

Please do NOT show these spoilers to anyone who didn’t give their explicit permission to be spoiled! And do not try to sneaky-spoil while being vague and pretending you’re not spoiling either!

TIOL was written in 1941 and published in 1942

Joey’s biggest dream is to become a God

Joey is explicitly not straight (reaffirms his distaste for dating women multiple times in the book, purposely avoids intimate gestures when meeting female friends, and reacts negatively to a straight couple kissing in his presence) but can be interpreted as either gay or asexual, and there’s evidence supporting both of these interpretations

Joey doesn’t think of people as real. He thinks of them as fictional characters in a show (well, he isn’t wrong)

He witnessed a murder at 10, but isn’t bothered by it, because everyone’s fictional anyway (watsonian perspective: little sociopath, doylist perspective: smartest character in the franchise). It was on that day that he started thinking of people as characters in a play, including his own parents.

He likes to throw peanuts in the faces of vaudeville performers he doesn’t like. Very proud of his aim

Joey’s dad sends him a pair of boots every year as a gift. Joey throws them out and buys himself better ones

Though it’s implied that the stories he tells about his parents aren’t true

While in the army, he was bullied for liking girl stuff, like reading romance novels and genre fiction

Nathan and Joey are very close. Nathan often gives him business advice and knows some of his secrets. Nathan looks down on artistic-type people. Joey is the only artistic-type person he admires, mostly for being business-oriented. Nathan is all about money.

Nathan wears a suit, has perfectly slicked back hair, and an elegant mustache. Smokes Cigars. Calls himself Nate

Nathan says that Lottie (the girl from the preview) isn’t real. It’s implied that there are more made-up people in the book. The epilogue implies that Joey intends to bring the made-up people to life one day, just like the cartoons

After leaving the army, and before starting an animation studio, he worked at a bookstore together with Henry for a few years

He took late-night art classes together with Miss Lambert

Bendy was named after Joey’s friend, who murdered a man to take a photo of his dying face for an award show. Joey finds it inspiring. In his words: "Thank god for dark paths, they lead all great artists to their greatest creations". Joey also likes the name Bendy, because it means someone who bends the rules

Nathan says that Joey had a genuine change of heart in his old age, and had “too much guilt and worry”. Nathan is not pleased with that

Abby Lambert is one of Joey’s oldest friends, and the one who introduced him to Henry. She and Joey used to perform vaudeville acts together. Joey played a Devil and Abby played an Angel

It’s implied that Henry created the Butcher Gang, and they were some of his oldest characters, even older than Bendy, Boris, and Alice

Henry left a year after the studio’s creation because he wanted “something that isn’t Bendy” (it’s either that he felt like his creativity was being stifled by being forced to work on the same project all the time, or that he wanted a real family, as opposed to the “studio family” that Joey was satisfied with)

Joey disses Henry a lot in the book. He paints him as untalented, unimaginative, boring, and a poor dresser on top of that. Nathan thinks that pretending to not care about Henry is Joey’s “greatest illusion”

Nathan hates Henry and thinks that Joey’s going too easy on him (if BATDR is Nathan’s world, Henry’s gonna be screwed)

Sammy used to play music at a movie theatre when he was a teen and Joey came to watch his performance every day

They met again a few years later and Sammy recognized him. Joey hired him and Jack on the same day

Sammy smokes

Sammy and Jack performed jazz songs at vaudeville together for some time before working at JDS

Jack gets upset when people ignore him and only pay attention to Sammy. He loves being the center of attention, and has a knack for showmanship. Very optimistic and good natured

Sammy was hired a year after Henry’s departure and has never met him (curious, given that he recognizes Henry in the game) Not true - turns out Sammy was hired in October 1930, so he still could’ve met Henry

As part of his deal with Joey, Sammy has full creative control over his department and people he’s working with (did Sammy replace Susie?)

Sammy hates being at the center of attention and is always very serious. Making jokes comes hard for him, but he plays along sometimes. His expression is very hard to read and he always seems suspicious of people he’s talking with. He’s dressed very neatly and appropriately (unlike Jack, who wears bright and flashy clothes), his hair is long and not slicked back. He’s a few years younger than Joey, but acts much older

Joey thinks that Sammy is his best decision and the man who comes closest to fully understanding him. He takes pride in the fact that Sammy sticks by him for all these years out of his own will, and not because Joey makes him. He thinks Sammy is a genius and deserves to be worshipped like a god (he doesn’t hesitate to tell him that). Asked him once whether there’s anyone Sammy worships, and it’s painfully obvious that he wanted to hear that it’s him (Sammy replied that a god of this magnitude hasn’t been invented yet, which is a nice foreshadowing) 

Allison is already working at the studio at the time of TIOL. Before that, she was a Broadway actress. Joey likes to watch her recording sessions. It’s not confirmed which character she’s voicing, but Susie wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the book, so there’s a possibility that Allison was already voicing Alice Angel in 1941

Joey’s meetings with Jack Fain and Grant are just an excuse to have a coffee and chat with them

On his first meeting with Bertrum Joey got drunk and flirty with him. Bertrum told him he’s “not that kind of date” and Joey played dumb (the scene is played for laughs though, so idk if it’s supposed to be seriosuly indicative of Joey’s sexuality)

Bertrum returned from retirement to work on Bendyland

Disney exists in this universe, Joey wishes he could be able to achieve the same with Bendy

Nathan wants to prove “very soon” that he is limitless

The moving ink was developed as part of the Sillyvision film process at some point around 1941. The purpose of Sillyvision was to make corrections to images that have already been created, without having to redraw them from scratch. The ink is activated through contact with a special paper

Joey describes Bendyland’s conception, and the Dark Land sounds eerily similar to the studio world in BATIM & BATDR

Light Land is Alice’s Domain, and as the name suggests it will have many lights. It’s designed to create an illusion of being lifted up

Tiny Land is Boris’ Domain and it gives an illusion of getting shrunk

Big Land is Butcher Gang’s Domain and has giant airplanes and battleships

Joey hates the real world and wants to escape to a make-believe one. He was hoping Bendyland would be that for him. His greatest fear is being unable to create that perfect world, and creating only its dark reflection (ironic)

Joey feels like he won’t be able to truly die and rest his soul until his dream fully comes to life. He calls art his “doorway into immortality” (is Dapper Joey?)

Joey believes a soul is needed to make a lifeless artistic imitation of the world into a real breathing world. He says that he’s been looking for a soul for a long time (he means it metaphorically, but it feels like a foreshadowing)

[unwrittenlibrary]

Little Lion

Summary: a trip to the zoo and the birth of leo’s nickname.

Warnings: none this is a fluffy piece.

Word Count: 2.6K

Notes: leo is about 8 months old in this. this piece is set before Tonight, We Fall in Love.  if you haven’t read the little lion series, it’s not necessary, but it can be found here 

-

You had never been to the zoo before and it was strikingly obvious. Your parents had hated it when you were young and once you reached the age where you could go alone your parents had scared you out of it with how terrible they made it sound. 

So, you had never been to the zoo before, but Harry has a season pass and Leo apparently loves it so here you were outside the entrance tapping your foot nervously and feeling out of place as families rushed past you. 

You knew it was just a zoo, but you weren’t sure how it worked or what you were supposed to do. Especially with a baby who was younger than a year. All he did was babble, what enjoyment could he even get from a zoo?

“Y/N.” You feel Harry’s hand wrap around your bicep gently. “What’s got you zoned out like that?” He presses a kiss to your forehead in greeting. 

You send him a nervous smile before bending down to greet Leo in his stroller, “Never been to the zoo before. I’m just a little nervous.” You tickle Leo’s feet that are hanging out of the stroller and he giggles in response.

You see Harry try and repress a smile, “Nervous about the zoo?” He asks with a hint of a laugh. 

“I’m serious, Harry.” You frown as you stand up to look at him. “I’ve never been to one and my parents always made them sound awful, so I just don’t know what to do here.” You look past him towards the front gate, where a screaming child was being dragged out by his parents. 

Harry holds a hand out to you. “Come on. There’s nothing to be nervous about. The worst part is the food prices.” 

“I'm trusting you.” You latch onto Harry’s hand and he begins to push the stroller and pull you towards the front gate. “I promise I will not let you down.” He grins cheesily at you and you feel any nerves you had wash away. 

It was just a zoo afterall, what was the worst thing that could happen?

“You have tickets?” The girl at the front gate asks in a monotone voice. She looks like she’d rather be anywhere else and you have to agree. 

The loudness and smell at the entrance was already giving you a headache. You look up at Harry with wide eyes, were you supposed to buy tickets? 

“I have a season pass. She’s my free guest?” He holds out his phone, which has a green card with a small barcode on it. 

The girl nods and scans the barcode. The small machine in her hand turns green and she smiles a bright, obviously forced smile. “Enjoy your day.” 

“Thank you!” Harry exclaims as he forces the three of you into the park. You follow him silently as he stops in front of the huge printed map. 

“What’s your favorite animal?” Harry turns to you and asks. You pause unsure of what to say. What was your favorite animal? “Um…” You look at the map, eyes scanning over the small photos of the different animals in the zoo. “Giraffes.” You say as your eyes land on their picture on the map. 

“Then giraffes we shall see.” Harry says as he starts on the path towards their enclosure. “Leo always gets excited for the elephants so we might have to stop there for a bit.” 

You follow behind Harry, taking in your surroundings. “He’s the baby, we can stop wherever he wants.” There were huge signs filled with facts about the plants and animals, along with benches and marked bricks thanking donors. 

The pathways were smaller and less crowded than the main areas of the zoo. And they were surrounded by trees that gave it a calming element. 

So far, you didn’t really mind it. 

“You say that now but wait until we’re staring at flamingos for an hour because every time you move away Leo starts to cry.” Harry teases as he stops in front of the monkey exhibit. 

Harry unstraps Leo from his seat softly, “Ready to see some monkeys, little guy?” Leo reaches his arms out for Harry as he reaches in to pick the boy up. 

You stand by the stroller as Harry begins to walk towards the crowd of people surrounding the enclosure. He stops and turns with a confused smile, “You coming?” 

“Oh.” You look down at the stroller and back at him. “I thought you wanted me to watch this? What if someone steals it?” 

Harry shakes his head. “I can see the stroller from up there, I just don’t wanna push it through everyone and be a dick.” A mother gives Harry a stern look as she walks past and he smiles apologetically. “Sorry.” 

You laugh softly as you leave the stroller and make your way towards him. “Smooth. Cursing around all these little kids.” 

“Mine can’t talk yet, so I’m not worried.” Harry smiles brightly and you can’t help but smile back. He was unabashed and bright and you were definitely falling in love with him. 

The two of you make your way towards the monkeys and Leo begins to babble excitedly when he sees the animals jumping around. 

“Woah.” You mumble, amazed at how close you were to the animal. Who even came up with this concept? You think as you stare through the plexiglass. 

You’re broken out of your thoughts when Harry tugs on your hand softly. He gives you an apologetic smile as he leads you away. “He was getting antsy. It’s time for a new animal.” 

You nod as Harry straps Leo back into the stroller and begins to push. “Have you really never been to the zoo before?” He asks as the two of you walk along the pathway. 

You don’t look away from the flowers when you nod. “My parents always thought they were unsanitary and gross. So, we never came. Then I never had a reason to when I was older, nobody was bragging about going to it during recess anymore, so I didn’t feel it was necessary to go.” 

You come to a stop in front of another enclosure. Gazelles this time. There are less people stopped, so Harry doesn’t bother taking Leo out of the stroller. 

“I loved the zoo when I was little.” He continues walking. Leo was obviously unamused by the animals just grazing the field. “I loved animals. I wanted to become a zookeeper for awhile.” 

You can’t help the teasing grin that spreads across your face. “A zookeeper? What stopped you from following that dream?” 

“I decided I was more suited to watch from afar than up close.” You and Harry laugh as you come up on the next crowd of people. The next exhibit is giraffes, far larger than the other two you had seen and absolutely beautiful. 

You had chosen them only because they were the first animal that caught your eye on the map, but seeing them in person made you speechless. 

Is this what you had missed out on when you were younger? This feeling of absolute awe? 

“Majestic.” You can’t think of anything else to say and Harry smiles happily as Leo stares just as entranced as you. 

“Yeah.” He agrees. You know he’s staring at you and begin to feel nerves creep back into your system. Maybe you hadn’t been so nervous about the zoo, but being at the zoo with Harry and Leo.

You had only been together around three months now and your dates were usually sans Leo. The last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself in front of Harry or not know how to handle Leo and the zoo. You wanted him to be as serious about this relationship as you were. And you knew you needed to show him you could and that you wanted to bond with Leo. 

“Thank you for bringing me with you guys today.” You turn to face him again. “It’s a lot better than I had pictured.” 

Harry smiles, but you see the relief in his eyes. “I’m happy you came.” 

You move on from the giraffes and you know next is the Lion enclosure. There are signs posted every few feet and once you get close enough you can hear the excited chatter coming from the crowd. 

“What’s going on?” You ask Harry as he cranes his neck to try and see. “Can you see anything? This is quite the crowd.” 

Harry nods. “The lions are up and moving around. People are just excited.” 

“Well let's go.” You lean down and begin to unbuckle Leo. 

“I don’t think I could see the stroller from up there.” Harry frowns as he realizes the depth of the crowd. “I can watch it.” You offer, a little sadly. You kind of wanted to see what the commotion was. 

Harry shakes his head, “No. You take Leo and go. I’ve been here a bunch, I can see them anytime really.” Your eyes widen in excitement as Leo reaches his arms out for you. 

“Are you sure?” You secure him on your hip. Harry smiles at the sight of you. “I’m positive. I’ll be right here.” 

You nod quickly before taking off. It’s pretty easy to squeeze through the crowd, most of it was just parents who were attempting to keep an eye on their child up front. 

You come to a stop behind the younger kids who made up almost the entire front row of the crowd. You were tall enough to see over them so you knew Leo could see from his spot on your hip. 

You watch as the lion takes his place on the rock placed smack center in the enclosure. The female lions deciding to lay around him. 

There were a couple cubs not too far from them that were tumbling around and that’s what seemed to draw the massive crowd. Everyone was intrigued by the small animals and what they were doing. 

“You like lions?” You look down at Leo, who’s staring excitedly as the lion on the rock. The animal is eyeing the crowd focused around the cubs, no doubt meaning to protect them if needed. “They’re pretty cool, huh?” 

Leo doesn’t respond, which was to be expected, he really only babbled and made sounds at this age. You and Harry had been doing some animal sounds with him the other in preparation for the zoo, but he had only picked up a couple. 

A younger kid screams in excitement when he notices the cubs and runs towards the area where you can see the cubs best from. 

You notice Leo starts to move around and decide it’s probably time to move on, before he gets too antsy or you get stuck in a big crowd and can’t find Harry. 

As you begin to move away the lion lets out a roar that makes the crowd jump. Leo turns to look again and claps excitedly. 

You laugh, “Yeah that’s a roar, buddy. Pretty cool, huh?” 

Leo watches the lion roar again, and decides to roar back. It’s small and definitely not the right sound but you know what he’s trying to do immediately. 

He does it again and you laugh excitedly. “Looks you like you’ve got your very own little lion.” A woman comments from behind you. She has a kind smile and a sleepy baby in her arms. “Your son is very cute.” 

“Oh.” You almost correct her, tell her you’re just the girlfriend. But you decide against getting into the story with a stranger who was just trying to be nice. “Thank you.” She nods before stepping away to follow her older child. 

You look down at Leo. “You hear that? You’re my very own little lion.” You tickle his tummy and he laughs brightly, roaring subsided. 

Harry’s sitting on a bench waiting for the two of you when you finally exit the crowd. “Hey!” You call as you walk towards him. 

Harry looks up and his face lights up at the sight of the two of you. “Hey! I heard the lion roar, that’s cool.” He stands up and you let him take Leo from your arms. 

“Super cool. But I think my favorite part was seeing this guy roar.” You run a hand down Leo’s back and he rests his head on Harry’s chest. 

“Yeah?” Harry laughs softly in order to avoid shaking Leo too much. “Yeah.” You nod. “You really liked them, right little lion?” 

Harry looks at you for a moment. “Little lion?” 

“Oh.” You look up at Harry again. “Some lady said it to me when he roared and I thought it was sweet.” 

“It is.” Harry begins to walk as you push the empty stroller behind him. “Fitting. Little lion.” He presses a kiss to Leo’s forehead.

“I thought so.” Harry stops in front of a small, jungle themed cafe. “You hungry? He looks a little tired and we can take a small break.” Harry gently places Leo back into his stroller, making sure to cover the baby with a blanket.

“I could eat.” The two of you make your way inside. It’s set up like a small buffet where you grab what you want before going to cash out. 

The two of you grab small meals and drinks before making your way towards the woman standing alone at the register. 

She punches everything into the computer before looking up at the two of you. “28.50.” Your eyes widen at the price as you move to take your wallet out. 

“I got it.” Harry hands over his card and you frown. “You paid for the tickets, I can pay for lunch.” 

“I have a season pass and you got in free.” Harry laughs as the woman hands him the receipt. 

“Have a good day.” She mutters as the next customer places their items on the table. “Thank you!” You smile kindly. 

“Still…” You trail off unsure of what you could do to thank him for inviting you today. “I want to contribute somehow.” 

Harry sits down at a small table and parks Leo next to him. You sit down across from him and let your lips form a pout. “Harry…” 

“Tell you what.” Harry laughs at your pouting. “You can buy a small stuffed animal for Leo when we leave.”

“Sounds good to me.” You grin as you bite into the burger you picked up from the line of food. “Maybe I’ll buy him a lion.” 

Harry smiles. “Yeah. A lion for the little lion.” 

“Sorry.” You look over his face to try and gauge what he thinks of the nickname. “I thought it was cute. Especially with his name and sign and all.” 

Harry locks his ankle with yours under the table. “It is. I love the nickname. I love that it came from you.” 

“Well, I stole it really.” You look down embarrassed. 

“Well, either way, he’ll learn it’s from you.” Harry shrugs. “We can tweak the story a bit.” He grins cheekily and you laugh. 

“Thank you for today.” You smile nervously. “I’ve had a lot of fun with you guys.” 

“Days not over yet.” Harry takes a sip of his drink. “We’ll have even more fun after our lunch.” 

“I’ll hold you to that, Styles.” You give him a fake stern look and he just smiles. 

“How could you not have fun with the two of us?” He leans down and presses a soft kiss on a sleeping Leo’s forehead. Then turns and smiles brightly at you. 

“That’s a good question.” You smile as you stare at the two boys in front of you. 

You had never been to the zoo before, but Leo and Harry made it a lot of fun. You wouldn’t mind coming back with them. You think as you watch Harry stuff french fries into his mouth and Leo nap peacefully next to him. Definitely wouldn’t mind.

-

i’ve always meant to write how leo got his nickname and never got around to it. glad i finally have this piece out! hope you enjoy! 

[bang-to-the-tan]

Moth to Flame

Chapter 15

Reader x OT7

► Vampire!AU

Smut/Porn With Some Plot That is Rapidly Getting Out of Hand Dear God Why Please Help Me

Warnings: Fucking Politics and Complicated Morality, Stockholm Syndrome, Addiction, Possessiveness, Vampires (Biting, Blood-Sucking, Reference to Death), Language

↳ Summary: Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry…

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“Jesus fucking Christ,” Namjoon mutters. You throw him an anxious look. He’s perched on the other side of the sofa, his phone in one hand, his chin in the other, brows knitted together, face illuminated by the glare of his screen. 

“Fuck,” he adds under his breath. 

“Are you gonna share with those of us without phones or what?” you snap. His eyes flit to yours and you amend, hasty. “Look, I’m just as surprised as you guys. I told you I don’t remember.” 

“I don’t expect you to remember.”

“Really?” 

He goes silent, completely still but for his eyes that track over you just as long as the quiet lasts before darting back to the device in his hand. 

“It’s just surprising. You really don’t remember any of this?...”

“Tell me what ‘this’ is, Namjoon.” You urge, shifting uncomfortably. “You’re making me nervous.” 

“It isn’t good.” 

“I gathered that.” 

“Namjoon,” Hoseok speaks up suddenly, from his position leaning across the bar. He has that expression again—serious, down to earth. A glimpse of that person he was talking about, maybe. Someone who can afford to be morally upstanding. “You’re being unfair.” 

The blond cocks his head, and you can follow the path of his tongue across the inside of his cheek, his eyes narrowing at his phone in thought. You’re just about to start trying to form a better argument when he speaks back up. 

“‘Bystanders were horrified today,” he begins, intoning as he reads, “When the peaceful protest of law enforcement procedures with regards to the recent discovery and subsequent attempted integration of so-called ‘vampires’ was interrupted by an as-of-yet unidentified woman driving through the crowd, hitting and killing key figure Bang Si-Hyuk.’” 

Namjoon heaves an exasperated sigh, lowering his head and carding his fingers through his hair like he has half a mind to rip it out by the roots. “A fucking hit and run. Of a public figure. In broad daylight.”

“I didn’t understand most of that, what does that mean?” You sit up, trying not to show on your face how your lower body complains when you jolt too quickly. 

“She started the riots??” Hoseok asks, meeting your glance across the room.

“There were already riots. But her little incident kicked off the ones closest to us, yeah.” 

“Riots for what?” 

“Us. Riots about us. People started noticing us, and they didn’t like what they saw,” Namjoon finally turns his gaze to meet yours directly. There’s no fondness in his eyes. No softness. He looks at you like you’re an animal. Like he isn’t sure whether he even wants to spare the money to have you put down. It claws a hole in your chest, and you have to look away, fighting the rising disappointment and panic inside of you. “But I bet you know that better than any of us.” 

“Bang Si-Hyuk,” Hoseok echoes. “That’s the guy that was trying to push for integration.”

“That’s the one. He was speaking out about the police force when she hit him.”

“What a time for an accident like that.”

“Yeah. Accident.” 

You shuffle closer to yourself, working on remembering to breathe, fixating on the remote sitting on the coffee table. The way the numbers have half rubbed off, the rubbery texture of the buttons reflecting the light. A hit and run? You...you killed someone?... “I don’t remember any of that. I don’t—I wouldn’t do that.”

“No? Not to try and get rid of bloodsuckers like us?” His tone is poison.

“Namjoon, I’m not—” you start, petrified, but you’re interrupted by the front door. From here, you can see Yoongi slinking through the doorway, closing the door slowly behind him. Your heart sinks when you realize you can see his hands shaking as he pulls the lock into place and hesitates for a moment, bracing himself against the door as if gathering what little strength he has.   

“Yoongi?” Hoseok immediately perks up, lips curling downwards with worry. “That you?”

“...Yeah. It me,” Yoongi finally replies, staggering faintly, trailing from the front door to the archway of the hall to the right, within full view of all three of you. He doesn’t seem any better than when he left this morning. In fact, he’s refusing to look directly at you, but now that you can see his face, you can see how dark the circles under his eyes are growing. How sharp his cheekbones have become, casting dark shadows across a drawn face. He rubs at his eye with the heel of his palm absently, taking short breaths, trying not to breathe you in too much. 

“No luck, huh?” 

“No. None.” He sounds choked, frustrated. “Nothing.” His tongue flits out to wet his lips and retreats with a swallow that you can hear for how dry it is. Your own throat twitches in sympathy, briefly imagining how badly it must be hurting him. Not for the first time, you think of how you could help him. You could help him. You think of his teeth. His tongue. You cut that entire train of thought loose when you spot him shifting his weight to the other foot, swaying. Who knows how sensitive he must be to changes in your scent. You can’t just let your mind wander like that. There’s more important things happening right now than your alarmingly weird, persistent fantasies.

“I’m not surprised. You see the news?”

“No.” 

“Remember when that spokesperson for vampire rights was killed a couple weeks ago?”

Yoongi’s brows crease as he fights past his fog to recall. “Bang Si-Hyuk. Yeah.”

“Guess who was driving the car.”

“News said it was extremists. Some crazy bitch looking to start a war. Why?”

Namjoon snorts, deadpan. “It isn’t nice to talk about people like that when they’re around.” 

It takes a full minute for the complete concept to circle around Yoongi’s head and arise victorious in his mind. He cocks his neck, looking at you briefly with his brows furrowed, but turning away just as fast. The feral hunger hiding within his eyes burns a swathe across your skin and you can feel it raising goosebumps in its wake. “What? No way.” 

“Yeah. Some kids snapped a picture of Namjoon to gush over how bangable he is, caught her in the corner, and a well-meaning adult somewhere took it to the news. Not at large, not anymore.”

“Namjoon? That’ll lead them here.” Yoongi frowns. “That’ll take them straight to us. What about Jin? Jin—”

“Jin’s doing his job,” Namjoon interrupts, quiet. “Protecting his coven. It’s not his fault. He gets paid to read the letters on the fucking page. It’s not like he has a choice.”

“Jin’s in trouble if this gets out of hand,” Hoseok adds. “Jungkook’s connections aren’t going to do anything if they start looking inside the force again.” 

“Jungkook’s a whole other kettle of fish. Jin can manage his own coven. We need to worry about our next move.”

Yoongi blinks, slow, moving to lean against the doorframe like he can barely hold his own weight up, hands moving to his arms absently, fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket. “We can’t stay.” 

“I can lay low for a while—”

“Hope’s class has seen you. They know he rooms with you. I’d bet he’s talked about you.” 

Hoseok licks his lips, casting his eyes to the bar beneath him with a nod of his head. “...He’s right. I have.”

“People have seen us out together. All of us. We’ve been here too long already.”

“We can’t—”

“Namjoon.” Yoongi’s voice cracks, turning hoarse, like he isn’t used to talking so much for so long. “We can’t stay.” 

“There’s nowhere to go. There isn’t anywhere else we can go.”

“...There’s always been somewhere.” Hoseok reaches long fingers out to brush the lumpy bowl set beside him, running his forefinger across one of the more prominent cracks, his expression distant. After a second, he leaves it alone, propping his elbows back up on the counter and looking out at his roommates with an absent sniff.

Joon ducks his head with a scoff, dropping his phone into the cushions dramatically and putting his face in his hands, clutching at the blonde strands of hair craning over his forehead. “Out of the question.”

“It’s been long enough.” Hoseok’s tone goes soft. “It’s been long enough. You made your point.”

“My point?” Namjoon sits up, tearing his hands away from himself to throw himself backwards, sending a look of disbelief in his direction. “My point?? This wasn’t a pissing contest, Hoseok. This wasn’t some...some schoolyard bitchfest. We had to leave.”

“And now we have to go back.” 

“...What about her? What do we do with her?” 

The pause that follows is pregnant. Heavy, and so thick it’s difficult to breathe through it. You turn away, but you can feel them looking at you. It feels awful, like you’re made of glue, catching their stares like overused fly paper hanging from the ceiling. You feel thin. See-through.

“What about you?” Namjoon asks, low. “What do we do with you?”

“...I don’t know,” you mumble.  

“We could turn her loose,” Hoseok suggests. “Let the cops have her.”

“No.” Yoongi’s too quick with his reply and hastily explains, “We’ve been having problems catching anything to eat anyways. It’s only gonna get worse in this climate. We have to keep her.” 

“You want to keep her around? She’s a threat. She puts all of us in danger.” Namjoon frowns.

You shift, frowning. “Like you’re any better.”

“I don’t pretend to be.” 

“Bullshit. That’s bullshit.”

“I’m not the one trying to start wars.”

“I never tried to start any fucking wars.”

“I thought you said you didn’t remember.”

“I don’t remember.” 

You’ve had enough. You move to stand, sucking in a sharp breath when your body aches in protest, but by god, you aren’t going to sit here on this couch while a household full of vampires judges you for something you honestly can’t recall. You sway a little as you dismount, reaching to grab a handful of the cushion up the back as you skirt around the side. 

“I’m going to take a nap.” You say, venom snaking past your teeth, keeping your sight trained on the floor in front of you. “Let me know if you’re planning on giving me to the police or if you’re going to continue holding me hostage, since apparently I have no choice in the matter.”

Neither Namjoon nor Hoseok move as you walk towards the hall, but neither does Yoongi, and as you approach him, you’re made too aware of how still he’s gone. You look up from the ground, but he’s not looking at you, choosing instead to study the wood of the doorframe to his right. 

“What do you want?” Hoseok says after a beat, low, quiet. You crane to meet his eyes. “What do you want to do?” 

“Does it matter?”

“It will.” 

“I want to take a nap.” 

“You could run. It’s a small town. Head south, move somewhere they wouldn’t find you.”

You hesitate. It’s been so long that you haven’t considered the idea of escape that the feel of it now is like the shadow of someone you used to know. Running. Getting out of here. Not fought for, but offered this time. It feels wrong, but it's impossible to place why. You shake your head faintly, speaking up again with a bitter scoff. “That’ll go well.” 

“You know what haze feels like.” You can hear Yoongi swallow in front of you as Hoseok speaks, the sound harsh and unkind. “You can look out for yourself.” 

“Can I?” 

“The option is there. If you wanted it. You have a choice.” 

“...A choice. Yeah. Sure.” 

“Don’t promise things you can’t guarantee, Hope.” Namjoon bites quietly.

“I will guarantee it.”

“What’s with the sudden change of heart, huh? What, you’re suddenly the CEO of free will?”

“I said from the start that we shouldn’t have kept her. Now everybody’s getting attached, just like I said they would, and the longer we keep her, the worse it’s going to get. Especially if we move back to Jin’s. Bringing her with puts everyone in danger, if all she’s gonna do is run off and bring attention to us. We can’t risk it with all of us in the same place.”

“Who said we’re moving back.”

Hoseok continues, ignoring his sour quip. “If she wants to leave, we’ll find something else. We’ve survived before, we’ll do it again. If she wants to leave. You’ll let her go, won’t you, Joon? Since you’re not too attached to a ‘threat’?”

Silence.

You turn back around, but freeze in place when you realize Yoongi’s looking at you now, dark eyes empty and half-lidded. He looks like a statue as he stares you down, following your every movement. A figure carved from marble to depict the downfall of man. No, not a man. An angel, cast from heaven in disgrace, wreathed in ash. He’s stopped breathing. You only just barely realize that you have, too.

“I’ll think about it.” You murmur, trying to pick up your previous train of thought, reminding yourself to inhale. “Running. Figuratively. Right now, I want a nap.” 

“Think about it.” Hoseok echoes quietly from behind you. “We’ll let you know when we’re moving.”

“If we’re moving,” Namjoon clarifies, low, but there’s no force in his words. No authority. 

You have to sidle past Yoongi to get to the other room. He doesn’t take the hint. Doesn’t move. You aren’t sure what spurs you forward more insistently; defiance, in the face of whatever stoic act he’s playing at, or anticipation. Anticipation of what he might do if you get too close. 

You misjudge how in-control he is and as you step forward, your shoulder nearly brushing his in the narrow entrance, he shifts. You can feel, more than see, his head inclining, his hair tickling your neck as he leans, the subtle noise of his lips parting, mouth opening, quietly inhaling with a hiss of air, and in that moment you freeze. Your heart pounds, blood racing through your veins, your own head drifting to the side as he approaches, time slowing to a crawl. 

You can feel it. The answer to your desires, the satiation that you need, that you crave, sharp teeth, perfect bliss, pain and pleasure, carving your limbs hollow and filling them back up with stardust. Your eyes threaten to close, lashes fluttering against your cheek. His hot breath, labored, casts against the column of your neck.

“Yoongi.” Namjoon speaks up, and Yoongi jerks forward as if released from a spell, suddenly dashing forward with long strides. You blink, turning to watch him slip down through the front hall, the click of the spare room door and the slam of it as he pulls it shut behind himself. 

You’re left spinning alone, on top of a world that whirls beneath your feet so fast you can’t think properly. 

“I don’t know what we’re going to do about him, though,” Namjoon says, murmuring low. “He doesn’t have much longer.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok agrees. “Either way, we need to make a decision fast.” 

You blink, spinning on your heel and walking at your own swift pace towards the bedroom. You make sure the door is closed behind you, promising a fight if anyone waltzes in uninvited. The bed creaks a little when you throw yourself onto it, ignoring by force the way it smells like Namjoon, like comfort. You don’t like him right now. You pretend that you don’t inhale deeply, fighting back hot, upset tears. 

He has no fucking right to judge you.

You’re a threat? You don’t feel like it, no matter what Jin recites to a camera crew somewhere the next town over.

For a while, you try to use the quiet to your advantage. Thinking-wise. Mulling over your choices. Going on the lamb? The run from the law, of all things? For a crime you don’t remember doing and can’t even...you can’t stomach doing that. Running over someone protesting people’s rights? Does that mean you hated vampires, before? You’re again left wondering what kind of person you used to be. 

And besides which...something in you twinges when you think of leaving. Some itch left unscratched. Some high you’re craving.

You rub absently at your neck as you think, frowning. 

 If you left, there wouldn’t be any more hazing. No more biting. Well, there’s other vampires, at least. If you really needed it....wanted it…

Ah, but who says they’d be as nice to you? 

‘Some of them really like pain’. You recall what Jimin had said when he caught you trying to sneak out of Jin’s window. Before Jungkook found you. Before they touched you. Took your clothes off and slid inside of you, pressed their lips to your chest and—

You’re losing the plot. You are going certifiably insane. Your legs twitch closed of their own volition, as if you could hide the way your cunt pulses around nothing from yourself.  

If you ran, would you end up seeking more out? Or, a better question, could you manage a life without biting? Without haze? The immediate panic, despair, that sinks briefly into your chest even at the thought, is too convincing. Like an addict. 

...Are you addicted? No. No, that’s silly. You’ve been without haze since... well, yesterday was…

You frown at the ceiling. 

Your migraine. Sharp, painful; like driving shards of glass into your eye sockets. Irritable. Looking for your next fix. Wishing you were ‘high’. Thinking about it, constantly. 

Your fingers are tightening around your throat and it isn’t until your vision starts going a little fuzzy that you realize you’re pressing too hard. Are you...choking yourself out? No, that’s not right. 

But instead of snatching your hand away completely, you linger, hooking your nails into the scabs at your neck. They’re mostly healed, but you can still feel a flicker of the pleasure they used to bring. The memory of Yoongi, just now, leaning closer, flashes across your mind, ghostly impressions of his breath against your skin, his hair tickling your jaw. He could have taken it further. He could have taken you further. If Namjoon hadn’t said anything. If Namjoon hadn’t been there. If he’d pressed you against that doorway, pinned you with those wide hands of his, kissed you. Kissed your neck. And…

You recall the feeling of fangs piercing your flesh, but it’s faded now. Disappointment courses through you. Longing. 

Fuck. 

So, now, you aren’t just a murderer with a political agenda. 

You’re definitely an addict. 

This sucks. 

...You wish you were hazed. 

Previous   Masterlist          Next

[nexstage]

Starless

Larimar, Snowflake, and Centi: Can someone understand me?

Corruption.

For many people, it means the process by which something, typically a word or expression, is changed from its original use or meaning to one that is regarded as erroneous or debased.

However, for the gems like little Larimar, Snowflake, Centi and many others who suffered by the hands of the Diamonds that fateful day during the war, it meant two words: pain and confusion.

Ok, so that's an understatement because unless you're a gem, you can't get how it felt. Many things confused and/or upset people no matter how insignificant they were after all.

But the Corruption Attack, being corrupted, THAT was a whole, another story.

There were no words to describe it and, honestly, it's not that the healed gems were going to write an essay about what was the most traumatic moment of their quasi-immortal lives. Still, if someone asked them, they would have the same idea: it was like being swallowed by a hell made of confusion and pain.

Not that gems knew what hell was, but that explanation was enough for them to illustrate their trauma. After all, when your light form is twisted by a blinding blast and your mind wakes up with the sole programming of attacking and tearing everything apart as if you were going to die if you didn't do it, then it's understandable that the only concept of being corrupted is that one: being messed up endlessly.

No one was there to help you, no one was there to calm you down, there was no escape. Your body didn't felt like it was yours anymore, it was more from a beast.

The worst part was the mind.

Before the Corruption, a gem knew what to do and whom to follow. A gem knew who she was. After it happened, nothing made sense anymore.

It was an agglomeration of scrambled words, feelings, memories, and sensations that forced themselves to fit with the other creating a chaotic image, the only guide when you were corrupted.

A gem tried to make sense of it, but the mind of a beast had its limits and that's when the pain came to the picture.

It was a void where the word 'Lost' reigned ruthlessly. The corrupted ones could resort to their claws and fangs, to their strength and agility, to that animalistic nature that had replaced their calculating minds; however, it didn't last against others who were luckier than them for not being corrupted and for having better plans to deal with the unfortunate ones.

Too many aspects that were new for the gems when they came to Earth, before the Corruption, became utterly terrifying and overwhelming. They couldn't remember, and the feelings of helplessness and frustration hurt them more, made them snap and get attacked and bubbled which was worse.

Just with a single attack, any spark of hope left them.

But then, Steven came to the picture too.

The kid who, for the corrupted ones, was just another enemy or prey of their claws, and still he decided to face the fearsome Diamonds so they could be healed.

That sweet little human with gem powers who was looking for a solution so they could get back their lives and not suffer anymore.

It was because of him that they could live peacefully, and while some of them went back to Homeworld and slowly adjusted to the changes of a dismantled empire, the others -Crystal Gems and gems who wanted to start a new life on Earth- stayed on the planet to learn new things. Still, all of them had one thing in common: their absolute gratitude and respect towards Steven Universe.

And therefore, it was a huge and terrible surprise for Centi to be told that his little friend, his savior, had disappeared with his car to an unknown place.

It was supposed to be a surprise visit and some time hanging out with Steven, catching up and know if things were ok with him on Earth. However, when she and her crew received the news about his sudden departure, they couldn't believe it.

At first, Centi thought it was just a short journey Steven had to realize for some errand or another reason, her denial being strong enough to put her worst fears aside concerning the boy's well-being.

Everything collapsed, though, after a very somber explanation.

Steven wasn't doing ok. In fact, both the Crystal Gems and his 'dad' - as the human called Greg referred to himself- had noticed, pretty late, unfortunately, some unhealthy and worrying patterns of behavior in Steven that got worse until the last straw came, the cactus incident.

Centi's mind was divided in two. On one hand, she wanted to blame her former enemies due to their incompetence that led Steven to ran away from Beach City to stars-knows-where. The glares and open hostility on her part towards the Crystal Gems were very clear signals of that. On the other hand, she felt compelled to act, although impulsively, almost going to Homeworld to call the Diamonds to find Steven.

One of the Crystal Gems, the Pearl, stopped her by telling her that the Diamonds would cause a big scandal because not all Earth had getting used to see and interact with gems. And if Steven found out, he would freak out.

So, now she was in the center of Little Homeworld, accompanied not only by her crew but also two former Crystal Gems: a Larimar and a Snowflake Obsidian.

Before all this mess, she wouldn't imagine interacting with former enemies. However, the war was over, all the corrupted gems were healed and living their own lives, and bringing Steven back was the goal in common for her, her crew and those Crystal Gems.

What was most surprising, though, was how understanding they were at her worries despite her initial distrust at them.

"You know, when I was a mindless monster I thought deep down that I would never get back my life. But Steven gave me another chance and here I am, now. And yeah, Pearl and the other Crystal Gems are my friends and I don't like it when someone is mad at them, but I get it. Steven is truly important for all of us. If it weren't for him, we would still be monsters"

The Larimar, Little Larimar as she called herself, nodded at her friend's words "Steven helped me to find my purpose. And that is making others happy, especially human children. I don't know what kind of purpose do you have now that the war is over, but whatever it is, it must be really treasured by you because Steven gave you a chance to find it. Someone like him is so difficult to find these days and a big blessing"

"Yeah, he is" Centi agreed and even her crew members nodded at that "At first he attacked me because he saw me as a threat. But, the second time we met, he was so kind to me. He listened to me when I told him what happened before the Corruption"

"He even faced the Diamonds to bring us back" a nephrite of the crew intervened sadly.

"He might be a Crystal Gem, but he sees all the gems as equals and helps them no matter what", another nephrite said while clutching her left arm anxiously.

"Everyone here is in debt with Steven, and even if he would have never accepted us owing him so much because of how he is, we still need to do it. We have to"

And so, they started their own search.

---------------------

If someone had told Larimar and Snowflake that looking for a human on a planet full of humans was going to be difficult or almost impossible, they would have ignored them.

As veteran Crystal Gems, both only knew one thing, and that was that action and determination could lead you anywhere. Whether it was war or any other project, if you don't have the guts to make it true, then it's useless to keep going. However, as days went by, the two gems came to the conclusion that just a strong resolve wasn't enough to find someone.

No clues, no handprints not even a single note. Steven really wanted to not be found.

"What kind of places should we list to start?" asked Centi to one of them, Larimar to be exact.

As surreal as it sounded, despite the bad blood between Crystal Gems and Homeworld Gems, both Snowflake and Larimar could befriend Centi and her crew while looking for Steven.

So, maybe it was because all of them were corrupted and saved by him because they cared about him because Steven befriended them and helped them to adjust to a new era. Maybe those were the only reasons to make a team with former enemies. However, with time they started to bond over other things like what they liked, how they were finding themselves without wars or Diamonds' orders around, their opinions about Era 3, trivialities. Anything that crossed their minds.

Just like that, differences stopped existing between each other, and yeah, at first they wondered why but then it became obvious: there were others whose experiences you could relate to, even if they were Homeworld Gems.

That single realization gave Larimar an idea "Guys, did anyone know how Steven was doing?" that question froze everyone's work. Seconds of silence turned into minutes due to a deep reflection.

"He wouldn't have left if someone knew he wasn't ok, wouldn't he?" a Nephrite said, but she didn't sound that sure.

"I think this isn't about if someone knew how Steven was doing, it was more about if they could understand how he felt" Snowflake's opinion got everyone nodding. It made sense, after what they had heard of how Steven was behaving, it felt as if he was isolating himself because there was no one who could comprehend what he was going through.

"I still remembered when I corrupted," Centi said somberly "I felt so lost and alone. Even with my crew at my side, I didn't know if this torment would end. Steven still tried and listened to me. I didn't feel so lonely after that"

"Did he have someone to do the same for him?" another member of Centi's crew asked concerned.

A heavy silence made itself present as the answer.

It was worrying as much as it was tragic.

How long would have Steven gone through that? Giving his ears and shoulders to anyone who needed them but finding a lack of support despite the love everyone gave him.

Then another more confusing question came, is love enough to prevent events like this from happening? But if it were so simple as that, Steven would still be here and ok.

"What if Steven is looking for someone like him?" Larimar's question was strange and their raised eyebrows demanded an explanation.

"We can understand each other because we know how terrifying it was the Corruption Attack or be corrupted. He may be feeling scared for some reason but no one can see it in his way"

"A human with gem powers, that is unique indeed" Snowflake pensive expression then turned into a scowl "I don't think his sudden journey is going to be successful. Never before has been someone like Steven. A mix of human and gem. Garnet told me it was like a fusion"

"Instead of searching another hybrid between human and gem, he might be looking for people who have enough ears and shoulders that he can rely on"

"We can give him that" a Nephrite intervened by showing her shapeshifting abilities to multiply her shoulders "There will be enough and even more for him to pick"

"I think it goes beyond the number" Larimar sat in a rock in the middle of the huge Strawberry Battlefield.

Even when the war was over, the air still felt heavy and bitter in the area. The screams, the clash of weapons, pieces of cracked and shattered gems covering the ground, the sky the color of blood.

Larimar hoped, really hoped, that Steven wasn't here hiding because this place, despite being calm and beautiful now, only harbored dark memories and feelings.

Perhaps that's how Steven was doing right now. Trying to keep a bravado or smile to everyone, even if inside of him there was a raged storm.

And no one better than him could get that sensation, but Steven didn’t want himself to understand him, he wanted another person.

"Larimar, something on your mind?" Snowflake put a comforting hand on her shoulder, encouraging her kindly to tell her what's wrong.

"Is it enough for someone to just have themselves?"

That was a very philosophical question. And no, Snowflake didn't know what to answer.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I mean, when we were corrupted we were scared, hurt and confused. We didn't have anyone, we couldn't remember who we were. If it weren't for Steven it would have been worse. So, how can someone be understood or feel like they're being listened if having themselves isn't even enough?"

"Honestly, I don't know. But we had the chance to be listened, to be helped. Steven gave us that chance"

"It's time for us to return the favor" Centi, who hadn't been that far away from the two gems, approached them after hearing what they were saying.

"We'll listen to him as long as he wants," another Nephrite said, determinedly.

"We can be those shoulders he lacked"

"Because we know how it feels to be lost and terrified"

"We'll try as hard as possible. He deserves it. He needs it"

Resolution ran through their bodies as if it were blood coursing through veins. Whether Steven was finding someone else to understand him or finding himself, once they found his savior, they will help him by being by his side.

That single step wouldn't be enough but it would be the way to make Steven see that people got his back.

[cogentranting]

Y’all, Frozen 2 is lit. 

Full disclosure, I’m not a big fan of the original Frozen. I think it’s a fairly mediocre movie with a lot of flaws.  But this one? This one I really REALLY like. So, here’s my list of:

10 ways that Frozen 2 is better than the original. 

(spoiler free, apart from the last entry which contains vague comments on the types of conflict found in the second movie)

It has a plot- The first one has kind of a wandering plot with a lot of random things happening on the side. It’s very unclear why certain things happen, some actions seem arbitrary, the central problem keeps changing etc. But Frozen 2 is very focused. There’s a goal, the characters all act within their characterization to achieve their goals, and their individual motivations and arcs are very clear 

The plot is driven by the characters’ choices- More than its semi-confused, somewhat arbitrary nature, my issue with the first movie’s plot is that after the first third the characters stop actively making decisions and mostly just react to whatever’s happening at the moment. Elsa doesn’t choose to return, she’s arrested; Anna is forced to go back to Arendelle because she’s hurt; Anna doesn’t realize Hans is evil/wrong for her, he tries to kill her etc. Even Anna’s big act of love for Elsa is more a split second reaction than a choice. But in Frozen 2, both Anna and Elsa are very much in control of their decisions all the way through. At every stage it’s their intentional actions which steer the plot, up to and through not only the climax but also the resolution. 

It knows who the movie’s about- The first movie has the issue of not really knowing who the main character is. Is it about Anna or Elsa? It feels like it can’t decide who it wants to focus on. It feels like one started as the main character and then in the revising process it started to shift to the other sister and it never got the chance to finish that process (which, if I know the behind the scenes stories of that movie correctly, is exactly what happened. Anna was the main character but over the course of development Elsa started to steal the show). But what we ended up with feels like a rough draft. Elsa’s need for development (her flaws, her fears, her shutting people out, her running from responsibilities) are what drive the plot, where Anna’s need for development is more of a B plot (her misguided views on romance being the main thing), however, Anna’s arc is the one that more directly resolves Elsa’s flaws and it’s Anna’s actions that save the day. Elsa just has all her growth happen within about 15 seconds after that. Meanwhile Anna’s growth is more informed than shown. So in the end it doesn’t really feel like it’s about either sister fully. They just each have half an arc. Frozen 2 doesn’t pick one sister to elevate over the other. But it clearly intends for them to be equals from the beginning of its development, so the story supports them being co-leads, instead of feeling like it’s undecided and in conflict with itself. So both have fully developed arcs, and both have an equal share in the progression of the story. 

Anna and Elsa interact- The relationship between Anna and Elsa is the crux of both movies, but in the first one they have barely any screen time together. The only time they get to bond is the opening scene. That’s then followed by around a decade of Elsa completely shutting Anna out of her life. Then they have a scene where they argue. They’re separated, argue again, are separated again. And then at the end their love for each other saves the day. We never really get to see them form a relationship as adults. Frozen 2 does more to establish their bond, we get to see them interact, and they spend much more of the movie actually working together, so the emphasis on their love and their bond means a lot more and makes the emotional moments much more effective. 

They do some world-building and the magic makes sense- The thing I see most often... not so much criticized as questioned, about Frozen is where do Elsa’s powers come from? It’s not exactly a flaw or a plot hole, but it is a little distracting. As is the fact that even though Elsa is treated as powerful and frightening in the movie, they still somehow manage to undersell how powerful she is. The other issue with the world of Frozen is that the rock trolls feel vaguely out of place and totally unlike anything else in the movie. Frozen 2 is clearly designed to answer the question of where Elsa’s powers come from in a way that is not only satisfying, but thoroughly fits in with the previously established elements of the world and makes things like the existence of the rock trolls or how omnipotent Elsa is, actually work better than they did before so that it all fits together well. On its own, Frozen 2 embraces the idea of magic and does some really good world building around the concept that makes Arendelle and the surrounding world feel rich and interesting, where before they were basically just a generic place-holder setting. 

The animation and art design get a chance to shine- Frozen has excellent animation. But because everything is just snow and ice, there are very few chances for you to really admire the art. The “Let it Go” sequence is really the only stand out that I can think of. Frozen 2 on the other hand, goes all out with beautiful animation. There’s a variety of different locations, each character has multiple outfits (most of which I love), the character’s have different hair styles, the nature magic has it’s own set of unique and beautiful animation, Elsa’s powers get used more and get to do really visually interesting things. There’s just so many beautiful things to look at.

The songs don’t just stop- Fixer Upper is the last song in Frozen. Which is like, a beginnings of a relationship type song. And then the songs just stop. There’s no song anywhere near the climax. There’s no song related to any kind of character revelation or growth. There’s no finale song. The soundtrack doesn’t feel resolved. Frozen 2 has a song to accompany each of the crowning moments of Elsa and Anna’s respective arcs. The soundtrack progresses along with the movie and feels a lot more complete as a result. Also Kristoff gets a song and that’s good. And this is more of a personal preference thing but my gut reaction is that I like the Frozen 2 soundtrack better (though I still think Let it Go is probably the strongest song out of both). 

Olaf is funny- I don’t like Olaf in the first movie. I only find him funny occasionally, and more often than not he’s annoying. But I really really enjoyed him in this movie and laughed at a lot of his lines. I may even have to rethink my wholesale dismissal of Josh Gad. 

Kristoff doesn’t become irrelevant- Kristoff has two major purposes in the first movie: to take Anna to the trolls, and to be a “true love’ red herring (the second true love red herring, if we’re being real). You could honestly probably take Kristoff out of the movie without having to do much to rewrite it. Kristoff still isn’t hugely important in Frozen 2, but he has his own arc, he has an active role in the finale and over all he just feels a little more included.  [Spoilers-- vague spoilers that give some indication of the nature of the movie’s plot, not revealed for certain in the trailers]

There’s no villain- I feel strongly that the first movie would be a lot stronger if they did not have a villain and let Elsa’s inner conflict be the major conflict of the movie. It would force them to actually address Elsa’s character development. It would push the climax to be centered entirely around Anna and Elsa. It would keep the story focused on the central issue: Elsa can’t control her powers and is shutting people out, instead of bringing in a secondary point as the main problem. It would give Elsa more agency in taking control of her powers. And Hans is not a strong enough character to really lose anything from either cutting him, or relegating his duplicity to a B plot.  Frozen 2 does what the first movie should have done. There is no villain to fight. The conflict at the climax doesn’t revolve around a person that needs to be fought. It’s all about Anna and Elsa’s choices and discoveries and it makes the themes clearer, the arcs more memorable, and the whole story less generic. 

[kookie-for-you]

Royal Flush, Chapter 3

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

“So for the order of member debuts, it’s going to start with Yeji,” our manager, Soonbok, said, hitting a button on the keyboard, bringing up the two photos of me for the debut, one in that cute fluffy skirt and the other in a pair of high waisted denim, high tops, and a crop top.  Our concept was all about the duality of feminine style—the sweet, cute side and the more punk and rebellious side.  Or, as our manager called it, “Sugar and Spice.”

Jisoo’s hands flew to her cheeks.  “Oh, Yeji-eunnie you look so good!  How did you look so perfect?”

“Why me first?” I asked, feeling my heart speed up with nerves.  I critically examined the photos.  In my opinion, they weren’t anywhere close to perfect.  My hair laying weird in one photo, and my legs were way too thick, even after the editing that I’m sure had been done.

“You’re the center, and the visual,” Soonbok explained.  “Bang PD-nim thinks that you’ll grab the attention first, and get people excited for everyone else.”  I nodded slowly, unsure how I felt about that reasoning.  I had a feeling it was a little bit less exciting being called the visual than it was for Minji to be called the leader, or Jisoo to be called the lead rapper.  It just felt like less of an earned position.

“Who’s next?” Jahyun asked, clapping her hands excitedly.  

Soonbok obliged, clicking to the next slide of her powerpoint.  “After Yeji, it will be Minji,” she told us.  Minji’s photos were lovely.  Her bleached blonde hair popped against her tan skintone, and the blues and reds the stylists put her in looked amazing on her.  “Then JJ.”

JJ.  That was Jisoo’s stage name.  Her name was Jung Jisoo, and in English her initials were JJ. Sometimes I forgot she had taken one, since we all still just called her by her name.  We’d have to get used to calling her JJ more, at least for during interviews and things.  Jahyun had taken one too—Juliet.

I’d been offered a few stage names too.  Roxy, Stacey, Maya.  In the end I’d decided to keep my own name though.  Kim Yeji suited me.

“After JJ is Juliet.” I realized I’d basically missed Jisoo’s pictures.  I made a mental note to look back at them later.  Meanwhile, now Jahyun’s adorable face was smiling on the screen.  I was surprised by her edgy photo though—I hadn’t been on set for those photos, and had yet to see them.  It almost seemed wrong to see our bubbly and cute maknae posing in combat boots and ripped jeans, but she pulled the look off as effortlessly as she did so many other things.

I could tell Jahyun was proud of the pictures as well, so I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze.  Her grin grew wider as she snuggled back into my arms, craving cuddles as usual.

“Haneul-eunnie is last?” Jisoo asked, looking to our eldest sister sitting on the end.

Soonbok nodded, giving Haneul a kind smile.  “Haneul’s energy is so kind and calm, she’s a great way to round out the group and make people feel secure that the group is grounded.”  Soonbok always had a way of delivering information in such a nice way. Maybe that was why she was (secretly) all of our favorite manager.

Haneul’s pictures were pretty too.  She’d had her hair dyed a dusty pink, and they’d done her eye makeup to match with sparkly pink eyeshadow in the soft pictures, and hot pink eyeliner in the edgy ones.  I found my eyes drawn to how impossibly small her body seemed to be—before Haneul had even been a trainee, she’d trained for years as a ballerina, and her body shape told that story.

Minji sighed, looking equal parts nervous and excited.  “Having a schedule for the photos makes debut seem all the sooner.”

Haneul nodded.  “Only two months now,” she said, and I felt a shiver run through me.  Was I excited?  Terrified? What if the fans hated us?  We had a lot to live up to.  I’d been on social media, and I’d seen people speculating about us, and how Bangtan set such an example for us to follow.  It was a lot to take in.

Coming up after Bangtan would provide us with a lot of opportunity, certainly.  People would be watching us right away.  We’d start out with probably bigger shows and interviews. There were even already talks of a small tour around the US early next year.  But there were drawbacks too.  We would get away with a lot fewer mistakes than an average rookie group.  Everyone was going to be watching Royal Flush.

 * * * 

Two hours later, we were mid-dance rehearsal.  We’d just finished another run-through of our debut song when our choreographer gave us a break to rest and have some water.  I smiled as I saw Jahyun dramatically collapse onto the floor right where she stood, reaching up to drag Jisoo down to lay with her.  The two of them giggled as they cuddled up next to each other, sweaty as they were.

I followed Haneul over to the side of the room where our water bottles were.  Somehow, she already had mine and handed it to me.  “You look exhausted,” she joked, pushing a sweaty strand of my hair from my face.  

“Not really,” I replied, taking a long drink of water.  It was still cold and fresh—the insulated water bottles Haneul had bought for all of us were so good.  “Minji?” I called out, handing our leader Jahyun’s water.  “Take that to the kids, please.  They’ll forget to hydrate.”

“What do you think of being the first member debuted?” Haneul asked as Minji scampered off to deliver water to the maknaes.  Haneul and I both took a seat resting our backs against the wall, watching as the tiny leader was coerced to joining the other two who were now starfishing in the middle of the studio floor.

I shrugged.  “I mean…it’s not like it means much,” I said, trying not to seem too nervous about the idea.  “So they’ll see my face first.  It’s not huge, they’ll see Minji’s the next day, and then Jisoo and Jahyun and you.  We’re a group.”

“Jahyun is already planning out her first twitter post once we gain control of the account,” Haneul said with a smile and a shake of her head.  “She wants so badly to make a good first impression on the fans.  It matters so much to her.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.  Too easily, Jahyun could be seen as just a silly teenager who was excited about becoming a star.  But us—Royal Flush, and the staff—we saw how hard that girl worked every day, even while still going to school and growing up.  Her family were all the way back in Daegu.  Jahyun might have given up the most of any of us for this, and she kept a smile on her face the whole time.

So often were people going in and out of the studio, we didn’t really notice when the door opened, but then a voice called our attention.  “Hello, Royal Flush.”  Simultaneously, all five of us looked over to see all seven members of Bangtan standing in the doorway.

I don’t know how we all managed to get to our feet and bow so quickly.  “Hello Bangtan-sunbaes,” we replied, almost in unison.  I heard Jahyun giggle nervously, and I looked over to see her halfway hiding behind Jisoo.  While I watched, I saw Jisoo pinch Jahyun’s elbow in an attempt to get her to calm down.

Kim Namjoon was the one who had greeted us.  “We thought it was about time that we came and saw you all.”

By now, all of us had finished bowing.  My eyes moved from one member to the other, too entranced by the sunbaes to focus on one. Jeon Jungkook seemed to be focusing on his leader and avoiding our eyes, Park Jimin gave a cheerful wave, and when I caught Kim Seokjin’s eyes, the saucy man winked at me.  I felt a furious blush rise in my cheeks and ducked my head, terrified that my face was now the same color as my hair.

Minji stepped right into her role as leader, stepping away from the group and bowing again to Bangtan. “My name is Kong Minji, sunbaes,” she introduced.  “I’m Royal Flush’s leader.”  

Haneul stepped forward as well.  “I am Li Haneul,” she said, bowing as well.  “I’m the eldest.”  Haneul looked over at me expectantly.

When I looked over the group again, my eyes met with Min Yoongi.  They seemed to lock with mine just the same way they did in the practice room.  I wondered if he had told his other members—well, other than Namjoon and Jimin—about how we’d already met.  “My name is Kim Yeji, sunbaes,” I said quietly.  “I’m…Yeji.”

I heard Jahyun snicker so quietly I’d almost felt I imagined it.  A tiny smirk showed up on Yoongi’s face, though it was gone in a second.

“Ah, another Kim!” Seokjin said, throwing his head to the side to whip his bangs from his eyes.  “Tell me, Kim Yeji, how does it feel to be the second most attractive Kim at Big Hit?”

My blush came back full force, exactly at the same time as Namjoon and Taehyung both shoved and shouted at Seokjin playfully.  I simply forced a giggle, ducking my head down again and pulling my hair in front of my face.

“You’ve made her shy, hyung,” Jimin protested.  “Don’t let him be a tease, he never knows when to stop.”  The boys laughed, including Seokjin.

Jisoo took her chance to give another bow.  “I am Jung Jisoo, sunbaes, but you might know me by my stage name JJ.  I’m the main rapper for Royal Flush.”

“And I’m Yuk Jahyun.” The maknae didn’t wait a second to introduce herself, clearly eager.  Her bow was as bouncy as her personality.  “I’ll be debuting as Juliet.”

“You’re the maknae, aren’t you?” Taehyung asked with a smile.  He slung an arm around Jungkook, who was still being very still and quiet, avoiding eye contact.  “Our Jungkookie can give you some tips on debuting so young.”

“Oh yes!” Jahyun said, nodding.  “I’d be honored to learn anything sunbae had to teach me.”

“We were hoping to catch a sneak preview of your choreos, if that’s all right with you?” Namjoon suggested. His calm smile and demeanor really radiated out of him, putting me almost at ease again.  “It looks like you were taking a break…”

“Of course, sunbae,” Minji agreed, and when she looked around the rest of us nodded eagerly along. “We can surely run through our debut choreography again.”

“Fantastic!” Seokjin exclaimed.  His exuberance seemed only to excite Jahyun more, and she giggled while bouncing up and down and clapping.  Bangtan made their way further into the studio, joining the staff who had been watching us from one side of the room.  As Haneul and I placed our waters down and rejoined our members in the center, I took the time to observe the way our sunbaes interacted with each other.

It was so easy, the way they walked and talked.  Namjoon and Seokjin seemed to be discussing something together as they both stood at one end of the group.  Taehyung and Jimin were both clearly whispering teasing words to Jungkook, as his red cheeks and stifled laughter seemed to imply.  He repeatedly shook his head at them and shoved them away as they attempted to hang off of his shoulders.  Hoseok watched them and occasionally added a ruffle of Jungkook’s hair.

Yoongi seemed to stay off to the side.  He’d chosen to crouch down, and was simply staring at his shoes, seeming deep in thought. While I stood there, wondering what he was thinking, he looked up and our eyes met once again.

I looked away quickly. I really needed to stop that.

We quickly got back into the very familiar starting position for our choreo.  I started in the center, and knew every eye would be automatically drawn to me.  I’d have to be careful not to make any mistakes.  The choreography wasn’t exactly easy, and Royal Flush was no exception to Big Hit’s love of precision and synchronization.  It would be noticeable if we weren’t together.

It was just another run-through.  I couldn’t be nervous.  I looked down at the ground, ready in my opening position.

When the music started and the first eight beats went by, my head popped up right on cue, and after that, I wasn’t really aware of anything that happened.  My body got carried away by the music, and by the long hours of work and the sheer memorization of this dance.  I forgot who was even in the room and just focused on dancing as good as I ever had.

The second the music stopped, and all five of us had stuck our ending positions, Bangtan broke out into applause.  My cheeks burned automatically, and I felt a sheepish grin on my face.  “Wow, our juniors are the best,” Hoseok kept repeating.

“Really, Royal Flush, that was awesome,” Namjoon said, standing up from where he’d crouched down next to Yoongi to watch.  My eyes slid over to Yoongi, who was simply nodding along to what everyone else said. He looked tired.

“Oh man, I’m going to be singing that song later,” Taehyung commented.  “Jisoo-ssi, that one line you have?  Deck of cards with five queens in one hand, I’d call that a Royal Flush, that is such a killing line.  Did you write that?”

“Yes, with Yeji-eunnie’s help,” Jisoo said, and I smiled in receipt of the acknowledgement.  “Yeji-eunnie is great at lyrics.”

“She is great at dancing, too,” Hoseok said.  “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you, seriously.”

“Haneul too,” Jimin interjected.  “I can tell, you must have a background in modern dance or something?”

“Ballet,” Haneul said with a smile and nod.  Jimin nodded as well, and smiled along with her.

“As much as we’d love to stand here and compliment our juniors all day, Bangtan does have practice as well,” Namjoon said.  He threw an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders.  The maknae had seemed to brighten up during the performance, though he hadn’t said anything.  “We will leave you to your practice, Royal Flush.  Minji-ssi, is it all right if I get your cellphone number, so I can text you when our groups can meet up for a meal sometime?”

“Yes, of course, sunbae,” Minji said hurriedly trotting over to her bag to grab her phone.  Most of Bangtan wandered out with smiles and waves from them and bows from us.  Haneul gripped my arm tightly.

“Can you believe Bangtan liked our dance?” she whispered in my ear.

I looked at her, a little surprised.  “I thought nothing shook you, eunnie,” I teased.  “They’re our seniors, of course they like us.”

“They could have ignored us, but they didn’t.  And Park Jimin complimented my dancing.  ME,” she repeated, seeming in shock.

While I couldn’t understand why she was surprised someone would enjoy her dancing, I understood the feeling. “I know,” I repeated, watching as Namjoon left, last of his bandmates.  “It feels like things are really starting to come together.”

“Like this is real,” Haneul added.  I nodded.

“Yeah.  Like this is real.”

Next Chapter

A/N:  If you would like to see a GREAT idea of what Royal Flush’s dance/performance aesthetic is like, I highly recommend ITZY’s dance rehearsal videos.  I use them for inspiration when it comes to Royal Flush.  The Dalla Dalla dance rehearsal is a great idea of what Royal Flush’s choreography looks like, with the members as follows:

Yeji-Yeji (I decided this BEFORE I knew this member’s name was Yeji, I was shocked)

Ryujin-Jisoo (JJ)

Chaeryong-Minji

Yuna-Haneul

Lia-Jahyun (Juliet)

[margridarnauds]

the takarazuka production of 1789 please ✨

BABY MUSICAL. BABY PRODUCTION. WHICH I NEED TO WATCH AGAIN SOON BECAUSE I *MISS* IT. 

So, this is definitely one of those things that I don’t think I can conceivably put ALL my thoughts into in one place, because it’s a LOT. This was definitely the production that got me back into the saddle after my 1789 phase when I was a teenager (You know. Back in my Ronan/Olympe 5ever days.), it was the one that got me into writing fanfiction, it was the one that made me dip a toe into Takarazuka. I love Toho very, very deeply, I still have a LOT of affection towards the French even if I relentlessly make fun of it every chance I get, but the Zuka really is IT. 

There’s a lot of things that we kind of take for granted that the Zuka KICKED INTO GEAR by basically scrapping all but the most basic elements of the story and building around it. Evil!Artois? A fully sympathetic Antoinette? Solène having more than 10-15 minutes of screen time in a two hour musical? An expanded look at Ronan’s relationship with the revolutionaries? Olympe with a gun? Olympe in a soldier’s costume? The added Peyronan content? LUCILE? (Like, don’t get me wrong, I criticize it as well, but like. It did a LOT)

There are some things that I’ll never be 100% HAPPY with, while also acknowledging that they HAD to do some things to suit Zuka’s tastes. Am I necessarily HAPPY with the domestication of Solène? Or Camille taking Je Veux le Monde? (Though I personally think that Toho handled it WORSE in the sense that we’re forced to see her “apologize” to the poor, aggrieved bakers for....doing pretty much. Exactly what Ronan had done. In the first act.) Or the forced Ronan/Olympe kiss? (Or any Ronan/Olympe kiss? Or the concept of Ronan/Olympe in canon in general, which I manage to block out of my mind?) Not REALLY. But with MOST of those things, I can also understand why they did them. It’s kind of a matter for me of...if I want to see a western production, the French is right there and Parrot!Laz’s arms are wide open. But if I want to see a Zuka production, then I have to accept that I’m playing by their rules. I mean. I CAN complain. But it’s unlikely to go anywhere because I’m not exactly the target audience.  

Ryuu Masaki is still, to this day, my ultimate favorite Ronan, with Teppei Koike coming VERY close. Both of them have similar takes on the role, with Ronan being less an Alpha Male-esque figure with some toxic masculinity issues and more a dumbass little twink shit who ends up getting himself into Lazare’s bedroom situations that he can’t easily get out of but who CARES for people, even though he still has some issues when it comes to being an 18th century male. (See: Solène.) She has a bit of a problem actually seeming like she’s in PAIN when Laz tortures him, but. You know what? That’s actually for the best. There’s this wonderful, naive “I’M IN LOVE AND I CAN TAKE ON THE WORLD” feeling to her Tomber dans sans yeux that gives me feels because I stan a dumbass puppy. 

Which, tbh, is important. There NEEDS to be that spark to Ronan, that idealism, that life that also exists outside the bitterness. He’s PISSED, but a decent part of it is that he believes that things could be so much better. You need to be thinking at the end “Damn, if he’d lived in a different world, he had so much to live for.” Especially since I tend to estimate him at being no more than about ~22. Which seems old when you’re 17 and watching the French but then when you’re standing at the edge of 21, it starts to look a lot younger. He makes dumbass decisions because he never had the time to learn from them. 

It’s so FUNNY seeing the concept drawings though because you can SEE how the concept artist was imagining Ronan and then Masao came in and did her Thing on the role. And tbh? It’s much better for it. That and knowing that someone actually PLANNED OUT the yellow jacket. 

Likewise, Chapi as Marie Antoinette is still probably my ultimate favorite take on the role. MA isn’t really an EASY role to pull off, because an actress has to sell both Act 1 AND Act 2 Antoinette, charting that development to her inevitable fate, as well as obviously being able to sing the Hell out of the role. And her domestication, but THAT’S another rant. And Chapi SOLD it, both in terms of her acting and in terms of her singing. She really, really sells the party girl from the 1st act to the grieving mother and then the dignified, doomed queen. It’s funny because, looking at the Toho, I do think that Masao actually took a few cues from Chapi when it came time for her to don the fluffy dress. 

On the subject of Iconic Characters...it PAINS me, given what’s come out, but Magee’s Laz really is an Iconic take on the role. I’m not going to say that I’m ever going to be 100% behind Villain!Laz as a concept; a part of me always favors him being portrayed as a much more gray figure, ala the French but...well. It’s one of those things that I can’t really hold against it because 1789′s always HAD a villain problem, and Laz being a straight up villain (Well...insofar as any part of Laz can be described as “straight), DOES pair nicely against Artois, as the two of them essentially become the embodiment of the darker side of the Ancien Régime while Louis, Marie, and Olympe form the brighter side that simply turned a blind eye to the dark. (Do I think that’s what they were REALLY going for? Maybe not, but it’s what I’m going for.) 

 And it also leads to a fantastic villain combo of Laz being Ronan’s primary villain/Artois being Olympe’s. (This wasn’t AS much of an Olympe-centered production as, say, the French or the Toho, the system being what it is, but it still packed a lot in there. This particular show was REALLY good at being an ensemble production and giving everyone a chance to show off.) And Magee’s take in particular is absolutely BRUTAL, haughty, cold, with a temper that flares up when he’s defied, but with something slick about it as well. He’s an aristocrat, with the mannerisms that you’d expect from it, but he’s also an officer, and he’s one who can force his way either with words or with force. And Masao and Magee had PHENOMENAL chemistry. There are a few moments here or there where you can almost SEE something work beneath the surface before it’s smothered, and then he doubles down on the brutality, possibly to convince himself just as much as the audience. He’s completely unrepentant and has no redeeming qualities, but my GOD is it compelling. I can’t say that she’s my FAVORITE take on the role, not anymore, but her take on the role was definitely what made me really start to focus on Laz as a character. 

Miya Rurika’s Artois is phenomenal. Like, there are two things that I think most people walk away from this musical remembering: Maniaque, for obvious reasons, and Je Suis un Dieu. Because it’s a HELL of a villain song and you can practically see Artois (and Miya as well tbh)  having the time of her life loudly proclaiming himself as a God on stage. The entire sequence is just...gorgeously done and wonderfully goth with the church backdrop and the smoke lifting up from the aphrodisiacs. And it goes from a song sung by the comedy relief in Olympe’s creepy furry sex dream to being a pretty chilling villain song in its own right. And Miya Rurika is PHENOMENAL at facial expressions, which leads to some truly fantastic moments like when Olympe finally pulls the gun on him, where there’s that sudden moment where he’s truly face to face with his own mortality for the first time. (ALSO. BABY ASAMI JUN IN THE SHINKO. EVIL BABY.) Also, even though obviously “Predatory Evil Bisexual” isn’t...STELLAR from a rep standpoint, I do appreciate Artois hitting on Fersen and Necker as well. Because what a thot. I was so disappointed when Toho ruined my Nartois  dreams. 

Tbh, Saotome Wakaba’s Olympe is probably the single most influential Olympe as far as how I write her. She didn’t have AS much to do as, say, her Toho or her French counterpart, all of her solos were taken away and given to other characters, but she still shone. Wakaba has this fantastic ability to look like she’s dying on the inside, and even though we make fun of it a little whenever a Ronan/Olympe scene comes on #Mood Wakaba, #Mood, she does a fantastic job of having that distinctive little tightening of the lips from time to time, where it’s like there’s a hundred things she wants to say but she can’t because it’s too dangerous and she knows her place. Her Olympe, possibly more than any of the others (Though I suspect that Nene Yumesaki took a few cues from her in the Toho), is someone who is basically split into two between the acting that she has to do to survive palace life and what she actually feels, and she uses her mind to work her way out of complicated situations that require tact and lethal politeness. 

Solène doesn’t have all that much to do so I’m not going to DWELL on her too much, but I really love both of the actresses who played her. Harune Aki’s take on the role in particular is GUT WRENCHING during La Nuit M’Appelle, and one thing that I’ll ALWAYS love about this production is Ronan trying to initiate that hug. Like, I can understand how people complain about it centering Ronan (Though. He IS our protagonist. Like, love him or hate him, Ronan Mazurier is very much our protagonist and it’s a Top Star world), in a scene that’s supposed to be SOLÈNE’S, but, at the same time, it’s a fantastic moment for Ronan realizing EXACTLY how badly he fucked up but not being able to do anything about it. Because it’s too late for that, there’s always going to be that little bruise between the two of them. And you’ve got Solène LOOKING RONAN IN THE FACE when she sings about how she was “abandoned by [her] brother.” Possibly more than any single production that came before or after it, this is Solène CONFRONTING Ronan for what he did, and it’s sad and it’s gut wrenching but there’s also an odd sense of power that comes with it as well. And I do appreciate that this version DID give us the Mazurier Sibs Reunion albeit via forcing respectability on Solène which...see above. Not what **I** would have done, but I’m not Zuka, I don’t have their cultural context, and I don’t have to create for their audience. Basically, ANY Mazurier Sibs content is good content, because that was something that was a huge hole in the French production. 

Also not to be gay on main but Harune Aki is GORGEOUS. 

...I said i wouldn’t dwell too much and then one long-ass paragraph later... 

I love the Revolutionary Bros as well, but I don’t TEND to focus on them the same, so I’m going to lightly skip in the interest of preserving space. As much as I can preserve space on ANYTHING. 

One thing that I really, really liked with this production was how they utilized music that had been cut. Pour un Nouveau Monde is FANTASTIC, and tbh it’s a little bone-chilling when Artois takes control of the song, as you see who’s REALLY pulling the strings of the meeting. I LOVE the Toho puppets, but I also like Civics Lessons With Uncle Artois. And it also replaced the non-musical scene from the French that...well...I’m not going to say that NO ONE likes it, because some people do, I’m sure. But in years of either streaming or attending streams, I’ve never really heard anyone say they LIKE it and many, many groans. Likewise for “ Les mots qu'on ne dit pas” which...tbh...I STILL love as an Act 1 finale. I really like how they bring all the main cast on stage in that one, the way that we go through all the central character’s arcs, and, of course, Peyronan being paired together. 

Don’t mind me, I’m appreciating the masterful choreography. 

Also I REALLY love the use of the turn table during Pour la Peine, I think that it did a really good job of showing off the cast as they put in their bit of the song, and Laz SEEMING (?) to turn away at the end never ceases to break me on multiple levels. Like, it really IS everyone who’s been involved in this playing their part, from the lowest class in society to the highest, villains and heroes, ALL of them saying that they changed history, and that’s something that I STILL think about regularly. It’s not AS dark as Toho!1789, because...Toho, but it’s still is a Lot for me to think about.

tl;dr: It’s really kind of impossible for me to talk about how MUCH I love this production, because how DO you really concisely talk about something that’s kind of defined my fandom experience for the last two years (and, really, my fandom experience in general, since I didn’t PUBLISH fanfiction before it, and my publishing fanfic in the first place was because [1] I had a GRE the next day and I finally had something I was terrified of more than a bad review and [2] There was so little fanfic in English that I basically put on my Artois hat and was like “THEY HAVE TO LIKE IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER), but this really is my baby. My precious child. My precious, ridiculous trainwreck of a child that I will defend until my last breath even if I routinely forget that my self indulgent AU isn’t canon. It really probably saved my ass in the last stage of my undergrad because I would be FREAKING OUT on my Capstone Project and then I could turn this on and be like, “Ah. This is nice. Happy Calming Feel Good Musical. Oh no, Ronan got shot. Oh well. REVUE TIME.” 

[nancywheelxr]

aw no, Brainy recovering from corruption and avoiding everyone because of everything he did? but someone (Kara or Alex, probably) helping him realize things are going to be okay

Ah, so we’re back to Angst Town, I see. No, but seriously this AU is very heartbreaking, but I love the concept so much.

They let it go for a little over a month after his recovery.

At the thirty-seventh day, they corner him in one of the labs.

“Brainy,” Kara says in the gentlest way possible, hoping not to freak him out right at the start. She knows this is something they have to do, knows that in the long run, it’ll only help him, but– the deer-in-headlights look on his eyes, it’s never easy. “Can we talk?”

He looks up, catching sight at the two of them, Kara-and-Alex, a united front, standing in front of his desk, and his lips flatten into a tense line. It doesn’t take a genius to know an intervention when it’s staring you down. “I’m in the middle of something, but,” he sighs, closing his laptop, apparently deciding it would not be worth it to fight, “I suppose we can.”

“When was the last time you went out?” Alex asks bluntly, but not unkindly. She’s really got the whole tough love thing covered, Kara supposes. “And I’m willing to consider out as anywhere other than your room and the labs.”

“Well,” Brainy averts his gaze, fidgeting uncomfortably on his stool. He clears his throat, “We had dinner at Kara’s just the other week.”

“It doesn’t count, Kara’s place is an extension of your place. And I know you fly there every time,” she points out, “I’m talking about going out, talking to other people.”

Kara watches this exchange play out, chest going claustrophobic tight at the memories of before. Before the whole mess with the virus, before Brainy got corrupted by the trojan horse Indigo left behind, before she was forced to put him under cryo-sleep, before he woke up to a world with his face and family’s name as a symbol of fear. Before, when he was happy and she was happy, and things like game night and dates and hanging out were a lot less complicated. “You missed game night,” she says without meaning to, words wobbling awkwardly in the air. “And you’ve been avoiding us, too.” Me, she wants to say, but how would she go about it without being unforgivably selfish?

Brainy never meets their gaze, going stock still behind his desk. His image inducer is on, as it’s been for weeks, or, more precisely, thirty-six days. On the few times he slept at her place, not once did she see him turn it off, not even before going to sleep. But to be fair, she hasn’t seen him fall asleep. “I have been busy,” he throws at them, going defensive, “my program can help predict natural disasters with a precision five times sharper than the current one employed by the government, detecting the patterns leading up to them as far as a week before they hit. This is not something that can be done in a day– Rome wasn’t built in a day!”

“Nice use of popular saying,” Alex crosses her arms over her chest, mouth quirking up, backs off a little, “but you know that’s an excuse. You really think you’re the first to hide behind work?”

“What she means,” Kara intervenes, glancing at Alex meaningfully, “is that we’re worried. What’s going on?” Please, talk to us, she bites back, swallowing the shards. “We’re just trying to help.”

“Nothing is going on,” he shrugs, “I’m only focusing on what I can do, rather than dwelling on the things I can’t change. Here, perhaps I cannot fix all the wrongs I’ve done, but once I finish my program, it could save countless lives. Maybe in time, it can be enough to make up for a fraction of it.”

“And it has nothing to do with the city still giving you the cold shoulder?” Kara asks, voice softening.

“I–” he falters, briefly looking up at her. She knows this is his worst case scenario; it’s no secret how he wants to paint the Brainiac name in a different light, rebrand his family legacy. And she has no doubt he already researched obsessively everything that happened during his missing weeks of memory. It’s bad, it’s really bad. But Kara also knows this isn’t the end, not even close; because the world doesn’t end, it only feels like it does. “It certainly doesn’t help,” he concedes, reluctantly.

Alex exchanges a look with her, and Kara nods. It’s time to execute plan B. Her sister sets the files she had been carrying on the table, spreading them in front of him. She points at the first,” February 2016.”

Kara grimaces at the memory, “Bizarro went around the city throwing trucks into mountains, just generally making me look like a psycho with anger issues that couldn’t string more than three words together,” she gestures the next file, and her grimace turns even sourer, “March 2016.”

“Ah, the Red K one,” Alex pats her shoulder sympathetically, “Kara was under the influence of red kryptonite for a few days and… it wasn’t pretty.”

“That’s an understatement,” she shudders.

With a quick, nervous glance up at Kara, her sister points at the last file. “Also February 2016,” she continues, softly, “I killed Astra.”

An old ache stabs her heart, but it’s mostly faded now. Kara makes a vague motion, hoping to encompass all those incidents, “and this is only what we found in 2016,” she shrugs helplessly, “and only digging through our files.”

Brainy frowns, staring down at the manilla folders with confused eyes. He flips through them, brow creasing further with each page. “I don’t understand, why are you showing me this?”

“We’re trying to show you it’ll be alright,” she smiles kindly, “it won’t be easy, and it will take time, but it will get better.”

“We thought you would be more inclined to believe us if you saw physical evidence,” Alex adds, “the reports are there. We both did terrible things, but in the end– you can earn their trust back.”

He shakes his head vehemently, “but this is different. In your case, it was clearly a life or death situation, you chose to save J’onn. And Kara cannot be blamed by the actions of others, or for what she did under the influence of the red kryptonite.”

“And how is that any different from your situation?” Kara asks quietly, and he goes silent.

“Red kryptonite, evil virus,” Alex shrugs, “sounds the same to me.”

It’s rare to see Brainy speechless, hesitant over his words, but he seems just so bewildered that neither of them is blaming him for the crimes Indigo’s disease committed. It’s sort of heartbreaking, and Kara can’t take it. She walks around the desk, gathering him into a hug, “you’re still a hero,” she whispers into his hair, holding on for dear life because sometimes she still has nightmares where cryo-sleep is not enough. “But avoiding the world isn’t doing you any good. Don’t you think it’s time to show them the real you?”

He pulls away, gently tucking a stubborn strand of her hair back. If the population of National City knew this side of him that is always so careful with everyone he loves, Kara can’t imagine a single person would doubt the goodness of his heart, or that he has one at all. “Thank you,” he looks at Kara, at Alex. “Both of you. You are right, I should be out there, working to earn back their trust. Starting by the DEO’s personnel, I suppose.”

“It’ll be good to have you back, Brainy,” Alex smiles, genuinely happy at the prospect and infinitely relieved, “we all missed you at the command center.”

Brainy smiles back, and means it.

For the first time in thirty-seven days, Kara breathes.

And the world feels a tiny bit healed.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (108/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous Chapters conveniently available here.

[20 February 233 Before Age.   Mundokuul.]

Guwar had never heard of Planet Mundokuul until Salziff warned him never to go there.    According to Salziff, Mundokuul had been the first step on his path to ruination.   The young Saiyan had sought the secret to increasing his already incredible strength, and so he had discovered the mythical technique known only as Jindan.    Guwar and his comrades wanted the same power, and so they had journeyed to Mundokuul to retrace Salziff's steps, despite the fact that Salziff had practically begged them not to repeat his mistake.  

In light of this, Guwar had expected Mundokuul to be a grim and harrowing place.    The Jindan cult was actually located on some other world, one Salziff couldn't identify, so Guwar half-suspected that they would be met by mysterious agents, who would give them encrypted coordinates that would reveal the way to their lair.

Endive, one of the two Saiyan women who had recruited him on this quest, had a different idea.   "We'll probably get there and find an empty planet with a single occupant," she had said one night before they had embarked on this next leg of their journey.   "The cult would naturally blind him and cut out his tongue to ensure that he never betrays their secrets.    When we arrive, he'll hear our footsteps and activate some mystic gateway leading to their inner sanctum.   And from there?   Who can say?   We shall either grow stronger or we shall die."

Guwar usually admired Endive's flair for storytelling, but not when he was one of the characters she was threatening to kill off.    

Lesseri, the strongest and unofficial leader of their group, had a more minimalist attitude about it.    "The 'cult' angle is just to frighten people off," she had said.   "Everything about this Jindan business has been an IQ test.  You have to do all this legwork just to find the right place to go, and the only catch to joining up is that you have to follow orders.    They're just some group looking for worthy henchman, and that's fine.   As long as they hold up their end, I'll do whatever they want.   You ask me, Mundokuul's just another hoop we have to jump through to prove we can follow instructions without losing our nerve."

None of this answered Guwar's question to Lesseri about what she expected to find on Mundokuul when they arrived.    Lesseri simply didn't care what the planet was like, or how many sapients lived there, or whether they would be greeted by gloomy thunderstorms to suit the ominous mood of their search.   To her, it was all an abstraction; the only reality was what she had to do to get stronger, and what she would do with that power once she had it.    

Treekul, on the other hand, had no desire to visit Mundokuul at all.   The rumors about Jindan only promised power for Saiyans, and Treekul was no Saiyan.    Her only interest in this venture was a chance to investigate the possibility that Jindan was an application of alchemical techniques for *ki* manipulation.   She was no warrior, just a historian with an interest in mystic secrets and ancient scholars.

"The fact is," she told him, "I don't even know why you three brought me along.   Mundokuul's the next-to-last step in your search, and according to Salziff, you'll find out what to do when you get there.    You don't need me to lead the way."

"Let's just say we don't trust Salziff," Guwar said.    "He told us where to go, and then he warned us not to go there.   So maybe he was lying about Mundokuul.   Maybe there's nothing there.  Or maybe there really is, but he didn't tell us everything we need to know because he's afraid that we'll succeed where he failed.    You're our insurance.   If anything goes wrong, you can use that geomantic compass of yours to tell us if we're going to the right place.    If not, you can sniff out a new lead."

"The cult might not see if that way," Treekul said.  "They only want Saiyans, so if they see me hanging around, they might take it the wrong way.     They might even punish you three by association."

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," Guwar assured her.   "Hey, don't be so glum.    Think of this as a research expedition."

Treekul seemed to find little solace in this.    

When they finally reached the planet, however, they were all surprised by what they found.   Though isolated from the rest of galactic civilization, Mundokuul appeared to resemble a vacation resort.   The planet was tidally locked with its star, with one hemisphere continuously bathed in sunlight, while the other was hidden in permanent shadow.    As such, the only population centers were located on the dark side of the planet, since the day side was too hot for most organic life forms.  Somehow, the weather patterns on Mundokuul allowed the night side to have temperate climate, despite the absence of direct sunlight.  It was a mystery that might have fascinated meteorologists, but the Saiyans and Treekul were only interested in the cult.

Lesseri led the group into what appeared to be the planet's capital, and they found only night clubs, lounges, and other entertainment establishments.   Neon lights flashed and blinked at them from every available surface, while fog machines and argon-ion lasers were found in almost every building they entered.  Electronic music and enthusiastic party-goers could be heard no matter where they went.

"All right, let's try to reason this out," Guwar suggested as they sought refuge in one of the quieter clubs.   It was a burlesque, but the tables furthest from the stage offered a semblance of tranquility.   "Does anyone sense *anything* Saiyan about this place?"

Lesseri shook her head.   "The only Saiyans on this planet are the ones sitting at this table," she grumbled.   A cheerful robot tried to recite the appetizer menu to her, and she swatted it away like a fly.   Everyone else in the building was too focused on the show to notice.  

Endive rested her elbows on the table and steepled her fingers.   "Perhaps this is Luffa's doing," she suggested.   "That Saiyan on Quadzityz who attacked Luffa might have possessed the Jindan secret.   Luffa could have overpowered him, forced him to reveal the same information we obtained from Salziff, and she shut down the Jindan cult before we arrived."

"But there's been no fighting here," Treekul said.   "I don't know much about the Super Saiyan, but from what you've told me, she's not exactly subtle."

"What if Salziff was lying to us from the start?" Guwar suggested.   "He told us to go to Mundokuul because he figured he'd be dead by the time we found out it was a trick."

"No, he warned us *not* to go," Endive reminded him.   "He expected to die soon anyway.   Why would he want to trick us?"

"I don't know," Guwar admitted.   "But it sure looks like he lied to us, doesn't it?"

"Forget Salziff," Lesseri said.   "You're right about one thing, Guwar.   He probably is dead by now, so it doesn't really matter if he was trying to trick us or not.  And while we're at it, let's forget about Luffa too.    If Supe really did knock off the Jindan cult, then whatever they could have taught us would be worthless, wouldn't it?"

"What are you saying?" Endive asked.  

"I don't know," Lesseri muttered.    "I guess my point is that if this is a dead end, so be it, but let's make sure it's really a dead end before we decide where to go next.  The last thing I want to do is find out later that we had the right place after all, and have to double back."

"We could start wrecking the place," Guwar suggested.   "Blow up a few of these clubs, shake some of the tourists down, that's bound to get someone's attention.

"Probably Luffa's," Lesseri said.   "No, the cult's managed to stay under the radar for a while now.   We're not going to get anywhere with brute force."

Guwar couldn't dispute the logic of that.   "Okay, the opposite, then.   Maybe we just settle in and spend a few weeks here.    Let them find us."

"If they want us," Endive said.  "It's possible that they might have no interest in three Saiyans with our power levels.   We've made tremendous progress so far.   Let's not back off now."

"What about Treekul's geomantic calculations?" Guwar suggested.    "Now that we're here, she might be able to narrow down our search."

"Might be worth a try," Lesseri said, "but Salziff didn't have a geomantic compass, and he still found his way.   I feel like there's something obvious here that we're missing."

For the next several minutes, they sulked at their table, indifferent to the merriment and debauchery around them.    Then a waitress approached the table and began setting out food.

"We didn't order anything," Endive said.

"Compliments of the management," the waitress said.    She paid little attention to them as she laid out napkins and utensils.   "It's against the law to waste food on Mundokuul.    So at the end of every shift, we serve all the leftovers to whoever is in the house, free of charge."

"That seems like a crappy way to stay in business," Lesseri said under her breath.  

"Well, most folks come here for the talent," the waitress said, pointing at the stage.   "And we find that the free samples encourage customers to pay for more later in the day.    If you're new to Mundokuul, you should really try the mollusk medley.    Oh, and if you want any liquor, there's a robot around here who can help..."  

As she said this, she noticed the broken machine lying on the floor behind Lesseri's chair.   "Ah. Well I see you've met the robot.   Well, I'll be back later if you decide you want anything else."

"Hold on," Guwar said just as she turned to leave.   "You said it's against the law to waste food.  Whose law?   We've been all over this city and it's all casinos and dance halls.   Where are your leaders?"

"What, you mean the governor?" the waitress asked.    

"Yeah, I guess," Guwar shrugged.    

She smiled and pointed back at the stage.  "He's not due to perform here until next month, but I'm sure there's a concierge who could look up his bookings for you."

"Never mind," Guwar said.  He joined the others in staring down at their plates as the waitress dragged the robot back to the kitchen.  At last, Guwar picked up his fork and began eating.   The women stared at him quizzically until he said: "Hey, we're going to be here a while longer, right?   No sense thinking on an empty stomach."  

"Maybe we need to be thinking about the dayside of the planet," Treekul offered.   "I mean, if I was running a secret organization, where better to hide it than an uninhabited wasteland?"

"It wouldn't take long to make certain," Endive said.   She picked up a shellfish and cracked it open with her bare hands.     "We could take the ship into orbit and run a full scan of the planet.   Honestly, we should have done that before we landed, but who would have expected it to be like this?"

Lesseri's meal included a meatloaf-style dish, which she scooped up and ate from her hand like a piece of fruit.    "Gotta admit, this stuff isn't half-bad," she said.  

"We might try searching the area around the planet's magnetic poles," Treekul added.    She popped an appetizer in her mouth and nodded with approval at the taste.    "The planet's ley lines would converge there, and it might be a suitable spot for a base."

For the next two hours, they discussed possible ideas and courses of action.    Then, Guwar heard a strange noise, and he felt sick to his stomach.  He tried to get to his feet, but fell out of his chair instead.   As he struggled to stand up, he noticed that Lesseri and Endive were having the same problem.  

"Guwar?" Treekul asked.   She appeared to be unaffected.   "Hey, what's wrong with you guys?"

He tried to speak, but found that he couldn't make his voice work.    At last, he collapsed onto the floor, and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was the shoes of their waitress as she ran over to respond to Treekul's call for help.    

*******

[21 February, 233 Before Age.  Nagaoka.]

Guwar awoke to find himself in an unfamiliar place.   He could tell it wasn't Mundokuul, because he could sense that the gravitational force was slightly higher.  He looked up and saw the ceiling of a cavern, illuminated by a series of torches.   He looked around for his companions, and found only Lesseri and Endive, lying unconscious beside him.   Looking down on them were a group of humanoids wearing scarlet robes, their faces obscured by hoods.   Each of them carried a spear in their right hand.    

"You are Saiyans," one of the robed ones said in an ominous voice.    "Have you come seeking power?"

"Y-yes," Guwar said.   "Are you...?  Is this...?"

"Silence," the speaker commanded.   He turned to one of his fellows.   "Bring the alien."

Guwar slowly rose to his feet.   His best guess at this point was that there was something about the food on Mundokuul.   Perhaps it was drugged, and only a Saiyan appetite could ingest enough to take a sufficient dose.   He didn't feel any lingering side effects, but then he would have had no idea what to expect.    Maybe it wasn't a drug.  Maybe there was some other trick to it, a trick that only worked on Saiyans.    Once they were rendered unconscious, someone connected to the cult could collect the new recruits and transport them to... wherever they were now.  

As the robed figures shuffled around and made preparations, Guwar said nothing.   There was no point in asking questions now.   These people would give him whatever answers they saw fit, on their own terms.   All he could do was wait patiently and take in his surroundings.

He noticed that there were glyphs and other markings on the walls of the cavern.   It was difficult to make them out in the torchlight, but he thought he recognized a few of them as alchemical symbols from Treekul's notes.    Among these, the most prominent was an arc, which represented a moon in its crescent phase; a circle with a dot in the center, which symbolized a star; and a cross, which was often used to represent a habitable planet.  

Once, Treekul had lectured him for over an hour on the multitude of interpretations of the cross symbol: the four cardinal directions, a small plant sprouting from the ground, the tetravalence of a carbon atom, a chromosome, a four-armed sea creature revered as a symbol of life and prosperity, and so on.   Guwar had been especially bored that day on the ship, but Treekul's enthusiasm about certain subjects was a passable form of entertainment.

A pair of cultists approached and collected Lesseri and Endive from the floor.    As they took them, he looked down and saw that he was surrounded by a shallow trench that formed a perfect circle around him.   Another pair of robed figures brought clay jars filled with some liquid, which they then poured into the trench until it was full.   For a moment, Guwar wondered if it was blood, but the smell of it was all wrong.   He could only be sure that it was definitely not water.  

Guwar then noticed that they were chaining the women to a set of wooden posts.   This made no sense to him, as any Saiyan would be more than strong enough to break free of such a crude pillory.   Was it a ceremonial humiliation?   Were they going to do something similar to him?     Were there different initiation rituals for men and women?   Or had he been chosen in favor of them?

Then, at last, another acolyte entered, carrying a prisoner in his arms.   It was Treekul.    The alien woman seemed to be wide awake, though she appeared to be exhausted from her captivity.   Guwar noticed that her dark green hair, which she normally kept trimmed to a thin layer of stubble on her scalp, had grown at least a quarter-inch since he had last seen her.   How long had they been here?   Treekul's clothes--a maroon romper with black leggings and white boots--had been brand new on Mundokuul.   Now, they showed signs of wear, and there were holes in the seams of the fabric.    His own leotard and body armor looked to be in decent shape, as did Lesseri's singlet and Endive's skirt and chestplate.  

As he struggled to make sense of this puzzle, a man approached him and presented him with a ceremonial dagger.   The gilded handle was crafted to resemble the head and neck of a serpent, with rubies serving as its eyes.   Guwar couldn't be sure of the blade's composition, though the moon symbols engraved upon it suggested silver, which Treekul had told him was a chemical element closely associated with moons in alchemical tradition.

"You hold the sun and the moon," the man said, his lips barely visible from within the shadows of his hood.  He was pointing at the knife as he spoke, and then he directed Guwar's attention to the posts.    Treekul was being chained to the third one, between Endive and Lesseri.    She struggled in vain, and tried to talk to her captors, as though she could somehow negotiate or charm her way out of this.    Yet, she never begged for mercy, which Guwar found rather impressive for an alien.   He wondered if he was starting to fall in love with the girl, but he had more immediate concerns at the moment.

"Now you must complete the circle by drawing the blood of the world," the man continued.    "The world gives life, and you must return that life to the world.   Stain the sun and the moon, and cross the river.   Put the knife into the world, and you will know the power of Jindan."

"Blood?" Guwar asked.    "You mean my own blood or...?"

"Strength must come at a price," the man said.   "Life is built upon death, and so must strength be bought by sacrificing weakness."   He pointed to the three women.    "You must choose, brother.   Which will you sacrifice for your own empowerment?    Choose wisely, and prosper.    Choose poorly, and die."

Guwar was beginning to get the idea.   For a moment, he considered that it might be a trick question.    Perhaps he was supposed to kill all three, but that seemed excessive.   If "all of the above" were an option, then why bother presenting it as a choice?   Likewise, choosing to kill none of them was out of the question.    The cultist specifically called for death in exchange for power.   It wouldn't be enough to wound one of them, and apparently only one of them would be deemed an appropriate sacrifice.  

Guwar was a mathematician, which was something of a rarity among Saiyans, but he had a talent for it, and his alma mater had been too frightened of his power to turn him away.   They probably would have awarded him a diploma just to be rid of him, but he earned his degree, and he had proven it on any number of consultation jobs.   For him, this initiation was simply another puzzle to be solved, another abstract conjecture to be falsified or proven out.   The cultist had told him to choose wisely.   Guwar knew no other way.

Superficially, Treekul seemed to be the logical choice.    If only one sacrifice was correct,  the answer couldn't be to kill a Saiyan, since there were two Saiyans in the set of available options.   In most respects, Treekul was unique.   To kill Endive would beg the question of why one *wouldn't* kill Lesseri, and vice-versa.

But the obvious choice wasn't always the correct one.   Treekul's uniqueness implied that he ought to consider factors that made the others unique as well.   Lesseri was the stronger of the two Saiyans, so perhaps that made her a better sacrifice.   If one of them was to be the price for Guwar's own empowerment, then Lesseri's life seemed like a greater payment, which would suggest that Guwar would receive a richer reward.  

On the other hand, perhaps the price to be paid was simply one life, any life, no matter how great or small.   In this model, sacrificing Lesseri's enormous power would be like putting a ten-credit coin into a vending machine that didn't dispense exact change.   You would get your five-credit snack, but it would still be a waste of money.   That suggested Treekul was the correct choice, as her death would be like tricking a vending machine with a slug.  

The dilemma between Treekul and Lesseri forced him to consider Endive's qualities now.    Factually, he could think of nothing that made her stand out.   She was the best pilot of the three, and a cunning tactician, but these didn't seem important enough to make her a worthier sacrifice.    The more he thought about it, the more he searched for a logical answer, the more his mind kept drifting back to the answer that made the least sense of all.    Of the three of them, Guwar found Endive to be the most attractive.   Her figure, the shape of her face, the cold, inquisitive look in her citrine eyes, the scent of her hair, all of it appealed to him in a way he was far too embarrassed to admit.    But the cult had no way of knowing this, and besides, it was purely a matter of opinion.    

He wondered, then, if that might have been the point all along.  Was the quality of his sacrifice a matter of what he, Guwar, was personally willing to give up?    If that were true, how could the cultists possibly know his feelings towards these three?   Then again, they seemed to know his name, and Treekul's condition suggested that they had been held here for some time, even if Guwar couldn't remember it.   Had the cult interrogated them, only to use some strange power to erase Guwar's memory of it?    There were stories about Luffa having the power to read minds.   What if the Jindan cult had discovered the same ability?    

He approached the three women, making sure to step over the trench filled with unknown liquid, and looked them over more closely as he considered his personal feelings towards them.    Killing Lesseri would be the most satisfying choice for him.    She was an arrogant bully, who only invited him on this quest because she needed an extra set of hands and few other candidates.   He fully expected her to turn against him whenever it suited her purposes.    Surrendering his body and soul to the Jindan cult was one thing, but joining it alongside Lesseri annoyed him to no end.   How much easier his life would be, he thought, if he could use this initiation to put her out of his misery once and for all.    He doubted that he would ever get a chance like this again.    The Jindan cult had presented her to him on a silver platter.

As he looked at Lesseri's unconscious body, he had to admit that he feared her.   Even now, helpless and chained to a post, she still towered over him.    The torchlight danced across her dark brown skin, making her impressive musculature look even more dangerous.   Part of him was tempted to kill her on sheer impulse, and let the chips fall where they may.   If the cult killed him for making the wrong choice, then he would at least die knowing she would precede him into hell.  Instead, he stayed his hand.   The cult clearly had no need for Lesseri, or else they wouldn't risk her life on Guwar's decision.   There was no need to take reckless chances when it was possible the cult might dispose of Lesseri for him.  

He looked at Treekul, and she looked back at him.   At some point, the cultists had put a gag in her mouth, and now her eyes silently pleaded with him to spare her.   She was afraid, and he couldn't blame her for being afraid.   Even if he spared her, there was no guarantee that the cultists would allow her to live.   She wasn't as pretty as Endive, of course.  Treekul's incessant hair growth disgusted him, and the way she constantly trimmed it reminded him of a landscaper mowing grass.   Her scent had a sort of garlicky, metallic quality to it, another reminder that she was no Saiyan, no matter how similar their anatomies were.    Still, she was attractive in her own right, and something about her lavender skin and green hair appealed to him.    And she was easy to talk to.    She actually enjoyed hearing him talk shop about mathematics, which was a rare pleasure for him.   Nor could he deny the emotional impact of her being aware of what was happening.   If he chose to kill her, she would see him take the knife and plunge it into her heart.   It would be no simple matter.   Perhaps that was what the cult was looking for.   They were waiting to see if he could cast aside sentiment in favor of power.   He believed that he could, though he had to admit that it wouldn't be as easy as he once thought.    

That brought him back to Endive.   Ravishing as she was, Guwar doubted that she had any interest in him.    He had seen calculators with more personable than Endive.   She could be social, yes, even cheerful, but he had come to realize that she cared very little for anyone or anything but herself.    She had approached him once, seeking an alliance to betray Lesseri, and he quickly recognized that she would betray him as well, if it suited her purposes.  Now he was in a position to betray her, and he couldn't help but appreciate the irony of it.    If he killed her, it would save him from having to look over his shoulder for her in the future.    If he spared her-- and if the cult deemed to let her live-- then she would be in his debt.   If he could convince the cult to grant her admittance as well, then... well she would be even deeper in his debt, wouldn't she?    That appealed to him greatly.   At least then, she would have to feel something towards him, even if it was resentment or obligation.  

Minutes passed, and the robed figures stood silent, waiting for his answer.    The only sounds were the crackle of the torches, and Treekul's muffled whimpers.   At last, Guwar made up his mind.  He selected his victim, raised the knife to her chest, and with a single, unwavering motion, he thrust the silver blade deep into her heart.   He waited before removing the knife, both to reflect upon the moment, and to allow her blood to spill out of the wound until both the knife and his forearm were coated in scarlet.   When he was satisfied that she was dead, he withdrew the knife, and walked back to the circle where the test had begun.   He knelt down, and noticed a crack in the cavern floor.   He wedged the knife into this space, and watched the blood drip down into it.    He never looked back at the three women.    Instead, he raised his head to the man who had given him the knife.  

"Excellent, Brother Guwar," the man said.   He pulled back his hood to reveal his face.   There was some grey in his hair and mustache, and some wrinkles in his brown skin, which would make him at least seventy years old for a Saiyan.  "Rise, and be welcomed."

Guwar stood up, and the old Saiyan clasped him on the shoulder.    "Tell me," the robed Saiyan asked.  "How did you reach your decision?"

At last, Guwar looked back at his handiwork.   The other cultists were already removing Treekul's body from the post.    "It was simple," he said.    "At first, I thought it was a test of what I was willing to give up, so I thought about what I wanted from them.   Then I realized that once I passed the test, my own wants would be secondary.   From here on, it's what *all of you* want.  That's what comes first.    And I don't know much, but I do know that you want Saiyans, and you want secrecy.   Treekul is no Saiyan, and her skills could be used to expose you.    She had to die.   There was no choice at all."

"Well said, Brother Guwar," the old Saiyan replied.   "The Jindan power shall be yours."

"Great," Guwar said.   He turned back to the old man and pointed his thumb back at Lesseri and Endive.    "What happens to them?"

"You'll find that out," the old man said, "after you wake up."

“Wake up?”

*******

Guwar's eyes went wide as he realized he was lying down.   He sat up as quickly as he could, and saw that he was still in a cavern, just not the same one he had seen only moments earlier.   There were torches, but they were arranged in a different fashion.   The walls had been hewn to make the cave more closely resemble an artificial enclosure.   The symbols inscribed on the walls were still there, though the arrangements were different.   There was a robed man there to greet him, an old Saiyan with grey hairs and wrinkles in his dark brown skin, but he was not the same one Guwar had seen before.   His face was narrower, and his nose was shaped a bit differently, and his hairline was further back on his forehead.  

"Where am I?" Guwar asked.   He finally registered that he was wearing a red costume of his own, not too dissimilar from the black attire he had worn until Mundokuul.   He was sitting in a cot, and next to him were Lesseri and Endive, both clad in matching garb.   They had also awakened, and as they looked around the room, he suspected that they shared many of his questions.

"It was all a dream?!" Lesseri blurted out.    

"In a manner of speaking," said the robed Saiyan.   "Our master, the holy Trismegistus, devised an elixir which induces a vision of his own design.    I administered this elixir to you once you arrived from Mundokuul."

"Then the test...!    Everything that happened," Lesseri said as she struggled to put it together.    "None of it was real?"

"The test was real enough," he said.    "Had you chosen poorly, you would have remained in that vision.    Trismegistus sees fit to animate those who fail the test.   They roam our caverns as sleepwalkers, believing they are in the waking world, when they are truly prisoners in their own minds.    We use them as menial servants."

Guwar took a deep breath as he considered the implications of such a fate.  

Lesseri seemed even more relieved.   "Then my mother," she said.   "She didn’t survive the bomb I put on her ship.   She's not the founder of your order at all, is she?"

The old Saiyan chuckled.   "The elixir produces a different reality for all who drink it," he explained.    "Some visions can be very... unsettling.    But to answer your question, no mere woman could aspire to the glory of Trismegistus.    Our Saiyan pride is not lost by devoting ourselves to him, for there is no shame in abasing oneself to the almighty thrice-blessed."

"Whatever you say," Lesseri said with a profound sigh of relief.    "As long as that old hag stays dead... and as long as we get the power we were promised."

"Naturally," the robed Saiyan said with a smile.   "Our master knows the way of the Saiyan heart.    He will not forsake your fondest desire.  You will be strong, Sister Lesseri.   Stronger than you could have ever been.   Now, if you have all gathered your wits, let us proceed to the assembly.    There, you shall reap the rewards for your search."

The three of them stood up to follow him out of the room.    Guwar hung back for a moment, as he noticed Endive had finally turned to face him.  

"Guwar..." she said with some surprise in her voice.  

"Yeah?" he asked.    

"Nothing," she said.    "It's just... good to see you are still alive after all."

She hurried after the others, and Guwar followed her.    Unless he was mistaken, Endive's words suggested that she had faced a similar challenge to his own.    In that vision, she had been the one with the knife, and he had been her chosen victim.     He wasn't sure whether that was a good sign or not.

NEXT: Reply Hazy.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 105 Review

Alright, this is it: Isayama is finally starting to pull back the curtain to reveal what’s been going on behind the scenes of this whole story arc.

The dealer is about to show their hand; let’s see how much I won:

F----K!!1! G--damn it! What the f----k!?

Life hates me. I know it does. I know it does because I saw the fan-made typeset, saw something that made me concluded I had been vindicated, and was starting to feel like a competent person for once in my lifethen blind-sided by that reveal of Zeke.

So, yeah, I suck. What else is new?

Let’s do a rundown of my scorecard:

Everything else aside, I’ll at least take solace in the fact that I was right about the letter. The idea of Eren communicating with Zeke through the postal system never sat right with me, it just seemed like such an inherently insecure and unsafe method. If, hypothetically, instead of mailing the letter to Zeke, Eren sent it to an ally holed up in a safe house somewhere and then they delivered it across the ocean to Paradis…yeah, that’s much more secure than just sending it and leaving it up to the fates to decide what happens.

Nope, it turns out the actual method of communication that they used is even more out of left field than snail mail. So Zeke has devotees now? I mentioned a Cult of Eren in the past, but apparently it was the Cult of Zeke I should’ve been watching out for. There’s nothing more to say about this other than the obligatory plea for an explanation sometime down the road. 

Speaking of predictions, do I win points for foreseeing that the way things were going the only thing left to do was for the Survey Corps to just board ship and haul ass? I said that was what would happen unless Isayama threw in some curveball like Double Agent Zeke, and…what’s that? Oh, so I get nothing? Alright, fine. I framed it as an either/or and it ended up being both, so that makes sense.

This series has this way of being both predictable and unpredictable at the same time. That nothing else could happen but for the Survey Corps to retreat to their ship and leave with maybe someone dying was completely foreseeable. And, I am now forced to admit, the fact that Zeke was working with Paradis was also completely foreseeable. But both of these things playing out was, in my mind, unexpected and unpredictable. 

That’s one of this series’ strengths: it still can manage to have a surprise in store even when you think you have it figured out. 

Even more talk of predictions! I speculated earlier about what I jokingly called “the cult of Eren,” a hypothetical faction of right-wing zealots who take Eren’s creed of fighting too far. This was more of a wish than a prediction. I wanted this to happen because it would make the story sooo much more interesting. (Not that it wasn’t already interesting!) Eren’s part in all this is tba, but I’m already jumping for joy because (drum roll please) ladies and gentlemen, we got right-wing nationalists!

Not only that, but I speculated on just how pervasive this nationalist sentiment was, saying (IIRC) that it was probably a large part of the general population and especially of the military. Welp, turns out I was righter even beyond my wildest dreams because it turns out everyone in the SC except our heroes is drinking that nationalist kool-aid.

Floch is apparently a leading figure amongst at least the right-wing SC members; you can tell because of his Trumpian hairstyle because he’s the only member of this faction whose name we know. This faction is clearly not going anywhere. In fact, I think it’ll play a prominent role in the final story arc and that means Floch will probably be important, too.

We’re already seeing the roots of conflict between him and Jean. Earlier, Jean was the one who butt heads with Floch over military tactics, and here, while Floch is reveling in victory, Jean is the person the story offers up as the one to present the opposing perspective. And not long after, when Floch proposes throwing Gabi and Falco overboard, Jean is the one to object.

The only way this could potentially be more interesting is if this conflict were centered on the future of the soul of the SC. It makes sense that Floch’s group would want to increase their power within the SC by moving their allies into positions of leadership. It also makes sense that the more reasonable members would be against this, and that Jean would be a leading figure among these moderates given the stature he already has within the Corps. Two people who’re on the same side but with opposing viewpoints is always an interesting setup. They can’t fight each other physically, which means this’ll be more a clash of worldviews and wits.

And that means politics! Hooray for politics! This is never going to happen.

Let’s delve deeper into this nationalist rabbit hole.

Nationalism is an ideology that centers around the concept of “nations,” distinct groups of people that share an affinity. Such an affinity can be historical, cultural, or racial in nature. Nationalism holds that individual needs both are and should be seen as subordinate to the needs of the nation, and that all nations have a right to self-determination, ideally in the form of a sovereign government through which they can tend to their own affairs without outside interference.

Eren Yeager is a nationalist.

I’m serious. Eren is fighting specifically for the freedom of the Eldian nation, and in the name of this holy crusade he is willing to manipulate his friends and kill innocent men, women, and even children; his actions betray a very nationalistic way of thinking. He may not be writing love letters to Ymir like Floch is, (you know he’s doing it) but he is possessed of a nationalist mindset nonetheless.

Before continuing on, a brief word of caution: please be careful not to confuse patriotism (love for one’s country) with nationalism. (love for one’s nation) What Eren is doing is not comparable to a soldier who will valiantly give up their lives to protect the citizens of his home country. Eren is fighting for his nation, not his country. It is the freedom of Eldia, as Zeke put it, that they are fighting for, not the freedom of Paradis. It’s an easy mistake to make, so I just wanted to nip this in the bud before moving on.

Let’s talk about Eren’s beneficent audacity.

First, let’s review the known facts: Eren Yeager contrived a confrontation with Reiner and Falco in the basement of an apartment building. At the outset of this meeting, he emphasized that the building was occupied by men, women, and children, and implicitly threatened to transform into his titan form, an act that would’ve killed most everyone in the building. He did this to gain Reiner’s compliance. At the end of the meeting, without provocation, Eren transformed anyway and killed most everyone in the building. He then turned his sights on his actual target: the civilian and military leadership of Marley, a country that Paradis is arguably at war with. He killed them along with an unknown number of civilians. He did it for his race.

For me, the source of apprehension here is Eren destroying the apartment. Civilians were killed by falling debris and may have even been killed by Eren directly depending on who exactly was in the section of the stands he belly flopped onto, but the thing that earned Eren a place in hell (right next to Armin) is his treatment of the apartment dwellers.

In my last post, I talked about the need to distinguish between an excuse and a justification.

With a justification, it is argued that a seemingly bad act was actually a good act. The circumstance that makes it a good act is the justification.

With an excuse, it is not denied that what happened was bad, but a reason is put forth that at least partially absolves the perpetrator of blame. That reason is the excuse.

Killing innocent people (I hope we can all agree) is never justified. It can only ever be excused, and, unless there’s something to this that hasn’t been revealed to us yet, the excuse that Eren and Zeke put forth here just isn’t going to cut it.

The Eldians have legitimate grievances here. The world wants them dead, recourse to violence is justified here. What isn’t justified here is the callous disregard for the inherent dignity of others.

Eren took hostages. That is dehumanizing and demeaning to the inherent dignity of the hostages.

Reiner and Falco posed no immediate threat to him, but he transformed anyway. He either didn’t care if they died, or he wanted them to die. Again, dehumanizing, demeaning.

And those people Eren took hostage? His demands were met, but he killed them anyway. Not because they were actively impeding him in any way, but because they just happened to physically be in his way. But they weren’t in his way because of bad luck, they were in his way because Eren chose to place them in his way. He wanted them to be in a position to die if he transformed so they could serve as bargaining chips to force Reiner’s submission. Then he transformed knowing full well that because of the way events had been manipulated (with him as the manipulator) people would die. They were marked for death. Eren branded them himself. Once again, dehumanizing, demeaning.

But you wanna know what’s especially sickening about this? Those people Eren dehumanized and demeaned?

They were Eldians.

Those were Eldians that he dehumanized, demeaned, and ultimately threw in the garbage bin.

It was an Eldian apartment building in an Eldian internment zone. It was Eldian property he destroyed, and it was Eldian lives that he extinguished, and it is justified in his mind by the prospect of a free Eldian race. In other words:

He killed Eldians in the name of freeing the Eldian people.

The Eldian people have been demeaned by just about everyone. The Marleyans use them as weapons. Throughout the world, they are held in internment zones. Gabi talks of being figuratively (and maybe even literally) spat upon by others. The list of people who disregard the inherent dignity of Eldians is a long one.

You can add Eren Yeager to that list now too.

Dehumanizing Eldians is wrong because dehumanizing people in general is wrong. It’s wrong when the Marleyans do it, it’s wrong when Eren does it, it’s wrong.

It’s just…wow. Just wow. Eren is fighting for a free Eldia, and yet here he is, dehumanizing Eldians, not giving a shit about them as people, using them as a means to an end. Imagine if the abolitionist movement used slave labor in the name of abolishing slavery, or if eco-terrorists bombed a zoo to protest animal cruelty. That would be despicable.

The Eldian people have been oppressed and mistreated for so long now, and Eren’s thinking here is that further dehumanization and mistreatment on an individual level is justified if it means the freedom of the group? Recall that Grisha had a similar way of thinking. 

Grisha saw his son as a tool in the fight for the freedom of the Eldian nation. He put the well-being of the nation before the well-being of his son. In principle, Eren is doing the exact same thing. In his mind, the Eldian nation comes first, people (even fellow Eldians!) second.

Eren is no hypocrite, I’m not saying that. I’m saying he’s a nationalist. That’s how he’s able to rationalize what he’s doing. He can disregard Eldians to fight the disregarding of Eldians without cognitive dissonance because in the end his heart is with the nation, not the individuals that make up that nation.

For added clarity, let’s outline a distinction between two ways of caring about the plight of the Eldians. 

The first way is the individualist way. This approach emphasizes the autonomy of each individual Eldian. It is wrong for any single Eldian to be treated as they are because it is wrong for any single person to be treated in such a way. When the individualist says, “The Eldian people are being mistreated,” they’re simply aggregating the mistreatment of all Eldians for ease of conversation.

The second way is the Nationalist way, Eren’s way. The wrong way. This approach is informed by the nationalist creed that the group is more important than the individual. Because of this, the nationalist viewpoint is that the way the world acts towards Eldians is an affront to the dignity of the Eldian nation, not any single Eldian. “The Eldian people are being mistreated,” is to be read literally when it said by them.

I’m not saying the cause of Eldian freedom is a bad one. I’m not even saying violence isn’t the answer. The Eldians do have a right to resort to violence, but that violent action must be carried out in a civilized manner, if that makes sense. Eren’s tactics are barbaric.

If even the lives of individual Eldians are expendable in this nationalistic crusade then what isn’t? Seriously, is there nothing sacred in this world to him?

Even his “friends” don’t seem to be safe. (The fact I can arguably put that word in quotes is awful) He used them. He threw himself in harm’s way knowing the concern they have for him would force them into following his plan. A plan, by the way, that entails sparking a war with humanity, a war that Eren’s compatriots, being soldiers, will now have to fight in. That doesn’t sound like friendship to me. (Hence why I use the term “compatriots” rather than “friends”)

Hange said they’ve lost all trust in him. That may just be the raw emotions of seeing him face to face for the first time since embarking on his crusade, but I would not be surprised if Eren’s relationship with the Survey Corps was more transactional than affectionate for a good while.

The only question that remains is whether Eren is eligible for clemancy; that is to say, if he can be absolved of blame.

Is it possible that circumstances were such that Eren had to proceed as he did? Well, Isayama was sitting on the cult of Zeke for so long, so I can’t really say no. Who knows what he’s got up his sleeve.  At the end of the day, what this all hinges on is whether or not it was necessary for Eren to have his talk with Reiner since it was having that talk at all that necessitated Eren taking hostages in order to force Reiner’s surrender.

Regardless of the circumstances, the fact remains that Eren is a nationalist, and because of that, HE. MUST. LOSE.

The nationalist ideology must not be vindicated. In Eren’s mind the lives of even children are expendable if it means the freedom of the Eldian nation. Not the Eldians themselves, mind you, but the Eldian nation. That way of thinking is contemptible; it has no merit. And unless Isayama plans on springing some BS message on us, this will be reflected in the story. Somehow, someway, Eren is going to get his comeuppance. Basic Human Decency requires it.

Moving on.

We at least now know why this mission was undertaken: primarily it was to abscond with Zeke and get him to Paradis.

Throughout the past few chapters it has been pointed out not just by the actual characters in the story but by me and others that Eren’s plan seemingly made no sense. But now things are clearer: they apparently did realize they were prodding a sleeping giant, but that’s okay because now they have someone with royal blood and someone else with the Founding Titan together, and that’s apparently the equivalent of having all five Exodia cards in your hand: you win instantly, so nothing else matters.

They must have known that following through with this plan would draw the world’s ire, but they apparently calculated that the benefits of having someone with royal blood and someone with the Founding Titan’s power together would offset this. There’s only one way this calculation makes sense: their plan involves the wall titans.

That has to be their end game. The ability to mobilize the Wall Titans is the only prize here that makes inciting the world’s anger acceptable to them. To say nothing of the fact that having a royal and the Founding Titan together is necessary for it to happen at all.

Previously, I compared Paradis’ attack to the attack on Pearl Harbor, the point being that, like the Japanese, they were picking a fight they would lose in the long term. Now we know this comparison no longer holds: to put it bluntly, Japan didn’t go to war with the US with the knowledge they were about to obtain nuclear weapons.

That changes everything. Yeah, you launched a sneak attack on the US, but who cares? You have nukes now and everyone else doesn’t! No one can touch you.

So, you’re Zeke/Eren. You have the closest thing to nuclear weapons in the SNK world and you have a monopoly it.

What do you do next?

I can think of two possibilities as to what they’re planning:

I’ll call possibility #1 Operation Madman Nixon. In this scenario, Zeke and Eren’s plan is to threaten to unleash the Wall Titans unless the world accedes to their demands. In such a scenario those demands could be an international commitment to not interfering in Paradis’ affairs. They could even demand that all the world’s Eldians be brought to live on Paradis where they wouldn’t have to suffer further persecution. Depending on how exactly things shake out, this could be the happy ending. An overall Hobbesian message that humans are so inherently violent the only way to have peace is to put a gun to everyone’s head. That sounds like a message this series would go for. Peace through strength.

Possibility #2 is Operation Everlasting Peace. In this scenario, Zeke and Eren’s plan is to release the Wall Titans and wipe out all of human civilization except for the Paradis Eldians, thus ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity (for the Paradis Eldians).

Madman Nixon is the more likely scenario in my book. As disreputable as Eren has been recently, I doubt he’s so cruel that he’d actually destroy all of humanity. Because, really, why would he? Why would he resort to outright genocide if he has every reason to believe his goals can be accomplished through simple coercion?

If Eren or Zeke were to ever go with Operation Everlasting Peace, I think the most likely justification would be that they’d realize it would basically be a retread of what King Fritz had to do to keep the peace among the other titan shifters: use the wall titans to force everyone to stop fighting. This realization would lead them to conclude that humanity is beyond saving so they just wipe the slate clean of all factions except for one, their own. Natch.

Whatever happens, it would not be surprising if a large amount of the rest of the story was dedicated to an internal debate among the cast about whether or not they should just straight up use the Wall Titans to destroy humanity. You know Floch and his ilk will push for it now that it’s a legit option open to them.

Isayama chose to introduce this far right faction for a reason. The fact that such a reason exists, coupled with Floch’s insistence that everyone outside the walls is an enemy, plus the convenient turn of events that Paradis now has the power to destroy the world if they wanted to…and, yeah, it seems pretty obvious where Isayama is going with all this. Jean vs. Floch, moderate vs. extremist, Paul Ryan vs. Mark Meadows. This will probably be a theme going forward. 

Eren is already partial in his thinking to Floch, so he’ll probably also be partial towards them in such a scenario. This would also allow for some good character drama between Armin, Mikasa, and Eren.

I can’t wait.

[callunavulgari]

TOP 25 FICS OF 2017

1. A Somaal Universe by @kaikamahine | Steven Universe | 7.5k

Connie flips over the next card. “'Most likely to -’” She reads out loud, and then dissolves into laughter and has to start over, propping the card up on her bump. “'Most likely to freak out when you go into labor and break the speed limit getting to the hospital?’” 

“Pearl,” Amethyst and Jasper say in unison.

Heather Says: It was really difficult to choose between this and Favor For Your Four-Chambered Heart as favorite Elizabeth fic for the year, but in the end this one won out because it was one of the first fics this year that made me well and truly happy.

2. The home front by aesc | Stargate Atlantis | 10k

“This had better be the Sheppard residence,” Rodney says, brilliant, agitated life and volume against a monotonous day and Dave’s subdued welcome, “because I’ve been driving around for hours and if I ever find the woman who did the voice on my GPS system I’m going to personally amputate her vocal cords.”

Heather Says: I read this in the pool, precariously balanced on the top step with my body angled weirdly so that I wasn’t holding my phone over the water. I started it before I got in the pool, of course, but I couldn’t put it on hold long enough to swim, so I finished it in the water.

3. Junk Cheap by DevilDoll | Stargate Atlantis | 13.5k

If you were thinking you’d love to read an AU where Rodney is a college professor and John owns a junk shop, this is the story for you.

Heather Says: This might be my favorite SGA fic that I found this year, which is funny since going into the fandom I would have told you that I’d prefer to read fics set in canon. I mean, c’mon. Atlantis? Why would I want to read anything set anywhere else? But this fic perfectly captured John’s lazy personality and Rodney’s crotchety... everything. It’s fabulous.

4. Unidentified by fiercelydreamed | Stargate Atlantis | 30k

Fourteen years, eight months, and seven days after John and Rodney meet, the clock starts all over again.

Heather Says: I’m not typically one for the amnesia trope. I’ve found some good fic for it, but most of the time either the angst or the second-hand embarrassment gets me too hard and I end up exiting out of the fic. This fic was intricate and engaging and introduces a Rodney just off-center from the Rodney that we know.

5. Black Helicopters at Dawn by whizzy | Stargate Atlantis | 240k

Screw the bet. Rodney was going to prove the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence. Oh, and incidentally, he might just catch the United States Air Force with their pants around their ankles.

Heather Says: This fic is long. And beautiful, and sad, and kind of a lot. Also if you’re like me you’ll have to find the third part of it on some weird, sort of sketchy website that hopefully didn’t give you viruses. Or if you’re really desperate you can ask me to send you a copy since I think I still have it somewhere.

6. Like a Lightning Strike by miss_aphelion | Hannibal | 71k

In a world where omegas are instant celebrities and treated like royalty, Will just wants to be left alone. So he keeps what he is a secret, managing to avoid the spotlight and the restrictions that come with it for nearly twenty years.

Then a case goes wrong, and his secrets start to unravel before the entire world—and even more worrying, it happens in front of Hannibal, the alpha that was already fascinated with him before he knew what he was.

Heather Says: Okay, so remember how I said I wasn’t crazy about the amnesia trope? I am really not crazy about the A/B/O trope. Done well enough it’s intriguing, but I read a really awful one way back in the day that basically scarred me for life. That said, this fic came along and hooked me hard. It hasn’t been updated since April, which is disappointing, but it’s well worth the read, even unfinished.

7. Lord, Save Me from Your Followers by anamatics | Supergirl | 27k

Kara, perhaps out of a want for thoroughness in her story, perhaps out of a Millennial-born urge to creep on a the social media of a woman she finds intriguing, discovers that Lena Luthor has a pretty active following on Instagram one afternoon not long after their first meeting. She debates it, just for a moment, before following Lena.

Heather Says: Don’t watch Supergirl? That’s fine! Technically I’ve only seen a couple episodes myself! Read this anyway! This fic has that perfect realness to it that I’ve only found in a very select group of fics and it has cute girls kissing to boot.

8. hood & glove by @fahye | Yuri On Ice | 12k 

“I don’t mess with the fae,” Otabek says.

"I'm not asking you to mess with them," JJ flat-out lies. 

Heather Says: I’ve tried to say things about this three times now. There are fairies. Otabek is a hero. The king of the fairies fell in love with a human and the weather is fucked up. And there is some truly spectacular art within.

  9. With Fire in Their Eyes by @asukaskerian | Yuri On Ice | 8k

He lands butterfly-light in a swirl of hair and glittering gauze, and the ceiling crashes to the rink all around him.

His ears are ringing with heartbeats, his efforts, the cries of the crowd. The rink wobbles under him -- must have landed a bit wrong but he can work through it. Only there are things strewn all over the ice; people usually know to wait until the end to throw roses and tokens and --

Not applause. Screams. The light is wrong because a fourth of the ceiling projectors are missing. The sky is dark. No stars. Something gleams behind the broken sky. And moves. Something he can't -- won't -- something.

Something that's looking at him.

Heather Says: It’s a Pacific Rim/Yuri On Ice crossover. What more could you want?

10. What We Pretend We Can’t See by @gyzym | Harry Potter | 131 k

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

Heather Says: I’ve been a fan of gyzym’s stuff since way back in 2009? 2010? Whatever year it was, it was on livejournal back when Inception was a thing. So when I got the notification that she wrote something new? And that the new thing she’d written was 130k of Draco/Harry? I was over the moon. 

11. No Less Unthinkable by @rageprufrock | Yuri On Ice | 79k

In which Katsuki Yuuri fights a losing battle with chronic anxiety, the quadruple Salchow, and his own judgment four drinks in — but wins the war.

Heather Says: I’ve been affectionately dubbing this fic the slutty Yuuri picture show, because damn. The porn itself is exquisitely written, yes, but more than that is the way Yuuri himself is written. That realness that I was talking about above is very prominent here too. 

12. Slithering by @astolat | Harry Potter | 27k

Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.

Heather Says: I have a weakness for fics with snakes, okay.

13. Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi | Harry Potter | 93k

'You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work.

Heather Says: In addition to just being really fucking great all around, the soundtrack to this fic lead me to some of the best music that I’ve listened to this year.

14. the king of oak by @picqueries | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them | 38k 

The first thing Percival Graves does after being released back into the world is buy a new wand. He's at Greymalkin's for ten minutes and the only wand that works for him is raw aspen, whiter than bone and so rough that Graves gives himself a splinter conjuring a storm of birds. The wand—dragon heartstring, a most unusual wand for an American wizard, according to a flustered Greymalkin—feels wild, and Graves empties half his wallet on the counter and keeps his hand on his new wand all the way home.

The second thing he does is quit his job, because honestly.

("Grindelwald did his research before he put on your face," Seraphina says reasonably. "And it's not like you're open with your personal life. He has us all fooled."

"He wore scorpion stickpins!" Graves shoots back, somewhat less reasonably.

Seraphina looks at Graves, his pressed creases, his immaculate shirt, the red ruby cufflinks he's wearing to hide the starved brittleness of his wrists. "I'm sorry," she says. It is not enough to make him stay.)

The third thing he does is get jumped by Credence Barebone in an alley.

Heather Says: Okay, okay, okay. But. Wizards are descended from fairies. Should I say it again for those in the back? Wizards are descended from fairies. Honestly, even if this fic had been horribly written I’d be hooked just on that concept alone. Fortunately it’s written beautifully, and is a complete work of art.

15. apocrypha by aerynlallaboso | Dishonored | 97k

The Eighth year of the reign of Empress Emily Kaldwin, First of her Name, the second year without a whisper from the Outsider, is the year the Void chooses to mark the end of an era.

Heather Says: This wasn’t the first Dishonored fic that I read, but it was the first one I’d read that was longer than 5k, and I was just so goddamned pleased with everything about it.

16. A Year In Toussaint by @astolat | The Witcher | 30k

Geralt had no damn idea what to do with a vineyard when Anna Henrietta gave him Corvo Bianco, but he figured it couldn’t be that bad.

Heather Says: Between the Stargate Atlantis and Harry Potter, I read a lot of astolat’s fic this year. I’d noticed that she’d been writing fic for the Witcher, but didn’t much care because I never really played the games. But I was bored one day, so I read one of her Witcher fics. Then another. And another. And then I went out and bought the games. This one is my favorite.

17. wild peaches by @notbecauseofvictories | The Labyrinth | 3.5k

The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast.

Heather Says: The feel of this fic is basically what I want out of everything that I read for the rest of my life. Just the right amount of magic, but eerie and timeless. I have read this fic at least five times since it was published and will probably go on to read it another five times next year.

18. where the weeds take root by @beenghosting | Supernatural | 30k 

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

Heather Says: I really adore slice of life fic, especially when it’s an after-the-war-is-over sort of thing rather than just some fluffy AU that the characters have been stuffed into. I haven’t touched anything Supernatural related in years, not because I didn’t love the characters, but because the show was on this slowly creeping spiral downwards, and I just couldn’t. This though, feels like a very organic end for my two favorites, so thank you for giving me closure.

19. Heart and Home by lc2l | Les Mis | 97k

In an alternate Paris, werewolves occupy the majority of the ruling classes, making and adjusting policy to suit their interests. The punishments for a human attacking a werewolf can be brutal, unless they have the protection of a wolf pack.

How this translates to ‘claim Grantaire as your mate to get him out of prison’ is something Enjolras is still trying to get his head around, but he’s never been one to give up on a cause even when it’s sleeping on his sofa.

Heather Says: I, like many other people, watched the movie adaptation of Les Mis several years ago. My ex-girlfriend liked the play, but I’d never seen it. Loved the movie. Loved the play, once I got around to seeing it. But until this was recommended to me by a dear friend, I never once thought of it in the context of fandom. And werewolves! 

20. World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile | Les Mis | 185k

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last. 

"With what?" says Grantaire. "Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I'd be awesome at cults, I just know it." He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. "I love chanting, I look great in robes—" 

Heather Says: The thing about high school AUs that no one ever tells you is that as you grow up, one of two things happens. Either the high school AU in question triggers a massive influx of nostalgia that basically cripples you emotionally or it has you cringing away from the screen, groping blindly until you can ex out of the tab. I’m happy to say that this one is more of the former.

21. despite what you’ve been told by @caseyvalhalla | Yuri On Ice | 14k

When Victor falls, he goes down hard.

Heather Says: All I wanted out of the Yuri On Ice fandom was a good, long in-depth look at the inside of Victor’s brain. This is the fic where I got it.

22. these things take time by sonhoedesrazao | Les Mis | 63k

He’s always wary of making assumptions; even more so when Grantaire is concerned. He knows he’s not the easiest person to deal with. People either like him or can’t stand him, and it’s easy to respond to those reactions, but Grantaire—Grantaire is hostile and mocking, Grantaire scorns his beliefs, and Grantaire stays.

Heather Says: This fic soothed my soul during a particular rough patch this year. There are dates and misunderstandings and some pretty intense UST and it’s just wonderful all around.

23. Watercast by @fishwrites | Voltron | 113k

Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit!

Heather Says: When the most recent chapter of this came out, I ended up going back and rereading it, because I was on the beach, and it seemed like a really good time to read about mermen and flying bird people and I am just. So excited for this fic all over again.

24. Fifteen Men in September by ballantine | Black Sails | 34k

Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

A Black Sails origin story for the song.

Heather Says: I stopped watching Black Sails after the end of season one, because there was a lot of things that we were watching at the time, and it was the one to get cut. I don’t even remember how this fic got recced to me, but I’m thrilled that it did because it’s made me go back and keep watching.

25. Patience on a Monument by betts | Game of Thrones | 21k

Having a Jaime in your life means living in a soap opera, except you can’t DVR it to watch later, and the main character sometimes ends up in your guest bedroom for an undisclosed period of time because he has a woefully codependent relationship with his sister.

Heather Says: It’s. So. Good.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (102/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous Chapters conveniently available here.

[30 January, 233 Before Age.   Planet Server’la.]

Over the next six weeks, Guwar had learned a great deal about his new partners, but very little about the object of their search.

Treekul, the only non-Saiyan in the group, was an alchemical historian.    She knew a few techniques for preparing mystical elixirs and so on, but her main focus of study was the lore.    Unlike the sciences of chemistry and biology, which made progress through rigorous documentation and peer review, alchemy was a secret discipline, with reclusive masters teaching on a select handful of students.   When they recorded their work at all, it was always done in an esoteric style.   Simple instructions were expressed as complex riddles.   Ingredients were given symbolic codenames which would be meaningless to the uninitiated.   Typically, an alchemical scroll promised much: immortality, mastery over living things, the power to transmute lead into gold.   But once you actually sat down and read them, they delivered very little: Vague sermons, arcane philosophical tracts, and references to other works which were conveniently unavailable.   Guwar had heard about this sort of thing, and always assumed it was an enormous bluff, no different from the way he would use the Saiyans' reputation to make himself seem more powerful than he actually was.  

And yet, Treekul seemed to be able to make sense of it all, at least to a certain extent.   She had shown him a few documents she had worked on in the past, and explained how she was able to filter the "important stuff" from the "crap", as she put it.  Part of the alchemical tradition was to deliberately add a lot of pointless fluff to one's writings, in order to disguise the true wisdom and to trick the unworthy into dismissing their sacred knowledge as nonsense.    "Once you've studied enough of their writings," she had told him, "you can start to decode it, and see what they were really talking about."

Treekul hailed from the Planet Clytemnestra, whose people had pale purple skin and dark green hair.   Treekul preferred to keep her own hair as short as possible, as she said it helped her focus on her research.    "Don't ask me why, but that extra quarter inch of growth on my head just makes me nuts," she had said one day while he saw her applying a trimmer to her scalp.   As a result, Guwar noticed that she tended to leave tiny green clippings behind everywhere she went.  

Endive, one of the Saiyans, was usually the one flying their ship.   She was a smuggler by trade, though she liked to find a good battle between jobs, much the same way that Guwar did when his mathematics skills weren't needed.   Like Guwar, she had been forced to scale back her recreational fighting ever since Luffa had begun cracking down on Saiyan activity.  

"I tried getting as far from Federation space as I could," she once told him.   "I found a nice little civil war on Rofos III.    They had mechs, triffles, and all sorts of interesting weapons.    I was in heaven... for all of two weeks, and then she showed up and ruined the whole thing.  That was when I made up my mind.    One way or another, I refuse to be pushed around again."

Endive never had much to say, but Guwar enjoyed hearing it, if only for the chance to admire her looks.   She had woven the end of her black hair in to a short, thick braid, which hung between her shoulder blades like a piece of halyard rope from a sailing ship.   The bridge of her nose was at a steep angle, which he found aesthetically pleasing, especially whenever she frowned.  Luckily for him, she frowned quite often, since the ship's navigation system wasn't quite up to her personal standards.    She and Treekul had recruited him into this group by tricking him into thinking he would get to sleep with one or both of them.   Watching Endive handle the controls of the ship, he often wished that there was a way to take her up on it.

As for Lesseri, he had dealt with her in the past, though he had always known her to be a ruthless, indomitable warrior.   For years he had envied her superior strength and financial success.   For example, the ship they now traveled in was hardly luxurious, but it was fast and well-armed, and comfortably quartered six people, which made it far nicer than the broken down one-seater Guwar had left behind on Paxul's Planet.   From afar, he had always thought Lesseri to be the model of what a Saiyan should be: a warrior who could go anywhere and do anything she pleased, because she had the might to enforce her own will.  

Now that he had lived with her for a while, and seen her ship from the inside, he realized they had more in common than either of them probably cared to admit.   Lesseri thought of herself as a weakling compared to other Saiyans, just as he saw himself.  This surprised Guwar at first, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made.    There was always a bigger fish in the pond.  He had always thought Lesseri retreated from untenable situations because she was so cold and calculating, but the truth was that she was afraid of dying, just like everyone else.   She was farther ahead of him in the search for greater power, but the gap between them was insignificant compared to how far they each had to go.    In spite of their past enmity, Guwar was beginning to like her.   When their quest led to searching a tomb on an abandoned planet, he was happy to join her.

"I killed my mother," Lesseri told him as she punched her way through the wall that surrounded the necropolis.  They had been talking about family, and this was where the conversation had led.  

"Why?" Guwar asked.

"You know those procedures where you can have your embryos removed from your womb and gestated outside of your body?"

"No, I had no idea you could do that," Guwar said.   He had no interest in procreation, and since he lacked a uterus, he cared very little what others did with theirs.

Lesseri shook her head.   "Men," she groaned.   "A lot of Saiyan women do it when they get pregnant.    Back when Planet Saiya was still up and running, they practically ordered people to do it."

"Okay," Guwar said.  "What about it?"

"My mother did it through a private company, only she never came back to get me when it was time.    Growing up, it kind of pissed me off.  My sister, she used to make excuses.   She thought mom must have died in battle, or she couldn't pay the bills or something.    When I got older, I tracked her down.   Wasn't even that hard.   She wasn't even trying to hide."

"Must have been a hell of a fight," Guwar said as he doubled checked their coordinates.    

"Nah, I checked her out first before I confronted her.   She was too close to me in power.   I might have won, but there was no guarantee, and I wanted a guarantee.   That was how we both ended up training with Luffa."

Guwar nearly dropped his scanning device.   "You trained with Luffa?" he asked.  

"If you can call it that," Lesseri said.   "Mostly it was Luffa and her alien wife scolding us like we were naughty children.   The leader of the group, guy named Zaperc, he tried to start this 'movement' where we'd learn to become Super Saiyans ourselves.   My mother joined on, and so did I.    Didn't want to risk her learning anything that might make her stronger and protect her from my revenge.    Anyway, Luffa found out about Zaperc's group and took over the whole thing.   Not that there was much to take over, but I guess she didn't like the idea of trash like us taking her name in vain.  Anyway, I waited until the right moment, then I rigged a bomb on my mother's ship.    As soon as things went pear-shaped, I knew she'd try to run for it, and sure enough--"

Lesseri clapped her hands together for effect.    "Boom.  Luffa didn't like it, but she didn't care much for my mother either, so she just sort of stood there while I left."

"What did your sister think?" Guwar asked.

"Beats me," Lesseri said.   "I haven't seen her in years.   She might be dead.    Hold on, I think this is it."

Near the center of the necropolis was a large mausoleum that looked like a great stone chrysalis.   There were small alien creatures clinging to its surface, and the glossy surface of their chitinous shells made the entire structure seem almost alive.

"Yeah, I think this is the one we want.   Let me take some readings before we smash our way in.   Wouldn't want to break anything important."

"So what happened after that?" Guwar asked.

"After what?" Lesseri replied.

"After you killed your mother," Guwar said.   "I've never gotten revenge for anything before.  I wondered what it was like."

"To be honest, it felt kind of empty," Lesseri said.  "I didn't regret it, but I'd spent my whole life on that one goal, and then it was over.    Mostly, it stuck in my craw that I wasn't strong enough to kill the old bag directly.   Luffa had no business giving me her opinion on it, but she was right.   It would have been more satisfying to fight her instead of blowing her up.    Mom didn't deserve the honor, but at least if I'd beaten her fairly, I would have had something to be proud of."

"I suppose so," Guwar said.

"That was when I started looking for ways to get stronger.   I've had enough of people pushing me around like I'm some bystander.    Being a Saiyan used to mean something, but lately it just feels like it makes you a patsy for King Rehval, or Luffa, or anyone else who happens to hit the genetic lottery.    I wanted to make my own opportunity."

"And that was how you met Treekul?" Guwar asked.

"Exactly," Lesseri said.    "I've heard rumors about Saiyans using a technique called 'Jindan' to increase their power.    I know we haven't told you much about it, Guwar, but that's only because we don't know much more than you do.   It's not easy finding a Saiyan these days, so if there's anything to the rumors, these jacked up Saiyans are staying out of sight."

"If that's true," Guwar reasoned, "then maybe this Jindan thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.   The Saiyans who use Jindan still have to hide from Luffa just like the rest of us."

"Could be," Lesseri said, "but it could also mean that they don't want the competition finding out about their secret.    If everyone could use it--whatever 'it' is--then we'd all be right back where we started.    And even if it doesn't make you as strong as a Super Saiyan, it could still be a big gain.   I don't know about you, but I'll take whatever I can get."

"I'm picking up some unusual readings," Guwar said.   "But nothing Saiyan."

Lesseri checked her own scanner and then compared her results to his.    "Yeah, Treekul was afraid of something like this.    We'll have to take a few precautions before we break into this thing.   Give me a hand, will you?"

*******

Thousands of years ago,  a brilliant scholar was interred in a mausoleum.   Over time, his students were buried nearby, and as the scholar's wisdom of the natural world grew into legend, a superstition arose that those who were buried near his tomb would pass on a blessing to their descendants.   Centuries passed, and the scholar came to be revered as a god, whose worshipers believed would one day rise from the dead and rule over the planet.   It was said that those buried in the necropolis that surrounded his tomb would be revived as his holy servants.

Before the planet's intelligent life forms vanished, their history included several wars fought over this sacred ground.    Conquerors thought that by controlling the necropolis, they could convince others of their supremacy.    New religions attempted to assimilate the necropolis's mythical status into their own theologies.   During more enlightened times, scientists would attempt to study the graves to learn the truth behind the legends.   But the scholar's mausoleum was never successfully breached, for when the ancient one was having it built, he planned to take his greatest secrets with him into the hereafter.    To ensure that graverobbers would not plunder his great writings, he treated the interior of his tomb with a concoction of his own making.   It would make the stone heal itself when broken.   In case this was not enough to dissuade intruders, he prepared a guardian, an unliving creature that would become active when fresh air entered the tomb.   Its creator had named it Qursss, and it drew strength from the very earth surrounding the mausoleum.   Once unleashed, it would not rest until it had destroyed all living things in the vicinity.   When its grisly task was finished, it would lumber back into the tomb, which would then reseal itself.  

And so, when the first breeze of fresh air entered the tomb in over fifteen centuries, Qursss stirred and reawakened to its strange un-life.   A blue flame ignited from a pile of ashes, and then it grew, transmuting into a vaguely humanoid form cast in minerals and the bones of its past victims.   Without hesitation, it rushed towards the source of the air current, and wailed its fearsome warning to any who could hear.  

"Woe betide you, graverobbers!   Know that you have summoned Qursss the Unquenchable, and for daring to defile my master's resting place, you must pay with your lives!"

It saw light from the fissure in the stone, and then the crack exploded into an opening large enough for a person to enter.  

"Yeah, I see it now," Guwar said as he peeked inside to look at Qursss.    "We'd better lure the thing outside before we proceed."

Qursss roared as it chased after Guwar.    "Mortal fool!" it shouted.  "You have sealed your doom this day!   Qursss shall pursue you to the ends of the--"

It paused at the threshhold of the hole in the mausoleum.  Guwar stood just outside, waiting patiently for Qursss to follow him.    The only thing missing from this scene was the ground.  Guwar was standing in midair.    

"Looks like you were right," Guwar said.    "This creature's immortal, but it doesn't seem to be able to fly."

Beneath them, Qursss could hear a second intruder, and its primitive intellect slowly realized that she was carrying the entire mausoleum in her arms.     "Aw, well, if he’s too shy to step outside," Lesseri said, "I guess I'll have to give him some encouragement!"

The whole structure began to shake, and Qursss lost its balance.   Unable to react in time, it tumbled forward, and as it fell, it realized that it was thousands of feet in the air.  

It wanted to threaten its enemies, to warn them that such trickery would avail them nothing, since Qursss would follow them and destroy them for as long as it took to restore its master's tomb.    But it had already noticed the ocean below, and Qursss knew that its master had designed it to sleep in the absence of fresh air.    No, there could be no reprisal.  Qursss would sink like a stone once it hit the water, and Qursss would fall dormant for a very long time.   Perhaps one day, when the oceans themselves boiled away, Qursss would stir once more, but that would not be for a very long time.   There was absolutely nothing it could do.    The enemy had won.    

Its final thought, as its monstrous body shattered upon the water's surface, was to wonder why its master had never thought to give it wings.

*******

[31 January, 233 Before Age.    Interstellar Space.]

"What I don't understand," Guwar asked Treekul, "is how you found that planet in the first place.    It was uncharted, and it looked like no one had been there in centuries."

"Geomantic extrapolation," Treekul replied as she ran her finger over the text of the parchment the Saiyans had removed from the mausoleum.    "You're sure this was the only scroll you found in the tomb, right?"

"Positive," Guwar said.    "What was that you said a second ago?"

She sat up from her bunk and finally looked at him.   "Geomancy," she said.   "In my line of work, you can't rely on the people who write these things to actually help you by citing sources.    Sometimes you have to use other methods to connect the dots.    That planet you and Lesseri went to, I don't know what it's called, or the name of the guy who wrote this scroll, but it's written in the same language as the last four scrolls I studied, and uses symbols and notations he would have learned from an older master known as 'Server'.   Not his real name, by the way.  None of these guys ever used their real name."

"You... you really haven't answered my question," Guwar said.  

She pointed to a disc-shaped object hanging from the opposite wall of her cabin.    It appeared to be made of wood, and hundreds of tiny characters and sigils were written upon its surface.   "That's a geomantic compass," she said.    "Normally you use it for aligning ki energies with planetary fields, but a specialist can use it to locate objects bound by special connections.   Server's other disciples had most of the information I needed, but not all of it, so I calibrated my compass with information from the scrolls I had, and used that to point me in the general direction of the one that I didn't.   It's taken a lot of course corrections to narrow it down, but considering how long the planet's been lost, I think ten days was a pretty decent turnaround."

Guwar was beginning to understand how some of his clients felt whenever he explained the more complicated aspects of probability theory.   "Look," he said, "I just want to understand how this gets us any closer to Jindan.   Does that scroll mention it?   Does that mean it was invented thousands of years ago?"

"No, of course not," Treekul said.    "You have to understand how this works, Guwar.    All we really know about Jindan-- and I'm using the word 'know' very loosely-- is that it makes Saiyans stronger somehow, and it just happens to share the name of one of the terms used for the golden elixir, a central concept of alchemical thought.    Until we find out more, our best chance is to dig through old writings, and hopefully find scrolls and records that were used to invent this particular Jindan.    We do that, and we'll have something resembling a lead to what you three are after."

He made a long sigh when he heard this.   "It all sounds pretty hopeless," he said.  

She smiled and lay back down on her bunk.   "Trust me, Guwar, I've been digging up old secrets my whole career.   If there's something to be found, I'll find it.    It just takes time.  And the occasional defiling of an ancient burial ground, but you and Lesseri didn't seem to have much trouble with that at all.   Even if it takes us a year to hit paydirt, wouldn't you say it was worth it?"

Guwar supposed he couldn't argue with that.   "I guess I'll leave you to your work then," he said as he rose from her chair and headed for the door.   "I could use something to eat anyway."

"Hey, drop by anytime," she said.  "It's good to bounce ideas off of you.   Oh, could you toss me my trimmer before you go?   My scalp's getting a little itchy."

*******

[9 February, 233 Before Age.   Thalos I.]

Days later, with nowhere in particular to go, the Saiyans decided to land on a planet to indulge in some hunting and gathering.    Guwar preferred gathering, as it made more sense from an efficiency standpoint.   The ship's sensors could tell him where to go to find abundant supplies of edible plants, and he could collect those much more quickly than he could chase down a comparable mass of wild animals.   Most Saiyans didn't look at it that way, and so when Lesseri and Endive chose to hunt large reptiles on the western continent, he wasn't surprised.

What did surprise him was when Endive approached him later, while he was bundling his first batch of roots and berries for the cargo hold.   They weren't supposed to meet up for another hour.

"I thought you were hunting," he said.  

"I decided to see if you needed any help," she said.    "Lesseri has things well in hand."

"She usually does," Guwar said.   "But I think I've covered my end pretty well."

"What do you think of our little band so far, Guwar?" she asked.    

He finished weaving a simple rope and began wrapping it around a stack of starchy plants he had found in a marsh.    "I'm used to working alone," he said, "but so far I'm impressed with the operation.   All of you are professional, sensible.   Treekul's a bit flaky, but she's an alien, so I won't hold it against her."

"Have you considered what will happen when we succeed, Guwar?" Endive asked.    She took a seat on one of the cargo crates and put her palms on her knees.  

"We'll all get stronger," he said.  "Much stronger, with any luck.   I, for one, plan to be able to write my own ticket."

"And what about Lesseri?" she asked.   "She's stronger than both of us right now.   It stands to reason that if our quest succeeds, she stands to become even stronger still."

"That makes sense to me," Guwar said slowly.   "What's your point, Endive?"

"Merely that we should be considering our own separate interests at this stage of the partnership," she replied.   "Our working theory is that there are already Saiyans out there using Jindan in secret.   They will not be pleased to see three more added to their number.   For every Saiyan that learns the secret, it depreciates in value."

"And if we were talking about treasure," Guwar surmised, "sooner or later we'd have to decide if it would be better to split it two ways instead of three."

"I see this as no different, Guwar," Endive said.    "The other Saiyans may try to stop us from reaching our goal.   But they may find two Saiyans easier to accept into their domain than three.   And if they happen to be fairly weak Saiyans--like you and me-- well, we'd hardly be much of a threat to their plans, now would we?"

"What exactly are you suggesting, Endive?" he asked.   He tried to keep his tone neutral, hoping not to tip his hand.   At the moment, he saw no compelling reason to turn against Lesseri, but he didn't want to appear to reject the idea, just in case she was on to something.

"For the moment, nothing at all," she said briskly.   "I simply wanted to share my appraisal of the situation.   When the time comes to make a decision, there may not be a chance to confer privately, Guwar.  So I thought we should discuss certain... contingencies in advance."

He was about to ask her what contingencies she had in mind, when the communicators on their wrists began to chirp.   It was Treekul.  She had found something.

*******

The closest thing Lesseri's ship had to a meeting area was the mess hall situated between the cabins and the cockpit.  Treekul presented her findings on a small display screen normally used for entertainment purposes.  Guwar found her delivery surprisingly polished and scholarly, considering that she was giving it in her pajamas, which bore flecks of green hair clippings from the last three times she trimmed her scalp.  

"I know a lot of what I just said went over your heads," she said as she finished explaining how she arrived at her conclusions.   "I just want to give you a bird's eye view of what I've done, so you won't think this I just pulled all of this out of my ear.  

"We've trusted you this far, Treekul," Lesseri said.   "And I think we get the general idea."

Lesseri had put her feet up on the table and crossed her ankles.   Endive was busy eating some raw meat from her hunting, while Guwar sat on the table itself.   He had some question about Treekul's data, but he decided to save them for when he could speak with her in private.   He suspected that the others would do the same.  

"All right, then here's the bottom line," Treekul said as she tapped the screen to advance to the next image.   The good news is that my theory was correct, and we've been on the right track.    We've established a line of spagyrist masters who studied techniques for increasing physical attributes.  We're talking about simple stuff, like healing minor injuries, or improving concentration, but each record we've found states that the masters were looking ahead to a refinement of the research.   A 'golden elixir', or a perfection of what they had begun to explore.  They called that ideal experiment 'jindan', which means whoever invented what we're looking for must have based his research upon their earlier work."

"But the scroll we just found was never used by anyone," Lesseri said.   "That tomb hadn't been touched in centuries, and the wax seal on the scroll itself was unbroken."

"Right, but it did give me more information to plug into my calculations," Treekul said.    That means my geomantic measurements will be more precise from here on out, and there's a lot less guesswork about where to look next."  She tapped the star chart on the monitor, causing it to zoom in on a single star system.   "Turns out we'll have to go to the Quadzityz System after all," she said.

"That whole sector is a war zone," Endive said.  

"Fine by me," Lesseri said with a smile.   "With all the fighting, we can slip in, take what we need, and no one will notice we were there.   We might even score some plunder if we have time."

"Yes, that does sound quite pleasant," Endive replied,  "but that isn't my point.  A stray bombardment could destroy our objective before we even have a chance to reach it."

"Not to mention the mercenaries working that sector," Guwar added.   "Saiyans or not, some of them are bound to be stronger than us.    If we're not careful, we could find ourselves outmatched.   Then we'd be the ones getting plundered."

"It's worse than you think," Treekul said.    "I monitored the war reports from that sector, just to get some idea of what we'd be getting into.    Turns out the fighting has escalated even more than we knew.   Someone brought slorgs into the conflict."

"Slorgs!" Endive said with a gasp.    "Then it's only a matter of time before Luffa gets involved!  She'd never tolerate a slorg infestation anywhere near the Federation border."

"And that brings me to the 'Bad News' part of my presentation," Treekul said with a sigh.   She tapped the screen one more time, bringing up an image from a news periodical.   The photo accompanying the article showed a Saiyan with glowing yellow hair and tail, holding a Quadzity armored troop transport over her head.    Terrified soldiers were fleeing from her as she smashed the vehicle into a large boulder.

"Luffa's not just going to get involved on Quadziityz," Treekul said.    "She's already there."

NEXT: The War Against War

[itsme-isfp]

Friendship: ENTP + ISFP

So here’s the thing: my best friend is an ENTP.  We share a mutual love of MBTI but haven’t been able to find much out there on the internet about friends of our personality types.  Occasionally we’ll come across the “odd MBTI pairs that work” posts that throw us together, but otherwise there doesn’t seem to be much love for the ENTP + ISFP pairing, or even intuitive + sensor pairings in general.  In light of this, we thought it would be fun to write some content of our own! We sat down for a couple of hours came up with some thoughts about why our friendship works so well (also it was fun to giggle and appreciate each other).

(For those who are curious, we’re an ISFP female, 3w4 and ENTP male, 8w7. ENTP blogs @theminiatureguy​)

Strengths

ENTP: FUN BUDDIES! This ain't no STJ pair over here. We love exploring new places, experiences, and fun times! ISFP is especially good at helping me with this. She’ll constantly suggest new ideas (her new thing is food) for me to try that I wouldn't think to consider trying.

I mean this is just a benefit for me, but she is great with clothing, hair, and looking sharp - which is an area where I’m 100% clueless - so that’s a huge perk.

ISFP: We’re partners in crime. I like to think we’re the dream team in terms of having great ideas and turning them into reality.  He’s good at coming up with novel solutions.  I’m able to take his ideas and go, okay, how do we make this happen? One of the most rewarding things we do is plan social events together.  He’s great at coming up with a concept and getting people together.  I’m the one who makes sure that the other little details get taken care of.  

ENTP: We both are open minded on our conversations. When we are challenged on our opinions or beliefs we generally are open minded to consider the other’s ideas or opinions.

We have taken the time to really learn and understand each other. We care about the other enough that we constantly seek to learn and understand each other better and better. Because of this we have learned how to care for each other in ways that are uniquely special and meaningful to each other. I’ve learned to pick up on when she needs a gentle back rub or arm touch to remind her everything’s okay and to provide meaningful reminders of her worth when she’s stressed, and to offer full on long secure cuddles with silence when she’s really tired out and just needs to recuperate.  She’s in turn picked up on reminding me that I am useful and do have value even when I feel I’ve fallen short.

ISFP: Adding to this, I really appreciate how thoughtful ENTP can be.  Whether it’s asking me if I need some time alone to process, or reminding me to eat (because I forget, all the time).  He goes out of his way to be in tune with what’s going on in my life and watch out for me.  His insatiable thirst for knowledge definitely works in my favor because he’s always asking questions and working to understand me better :) I really enjoy that he trusts me and lets me into places of his mind and heart that he doesn’t share with other people.  He won’t say this, but he deserves someone to have his back and support him too.  

ENTP: We both bring strengths to the relationship that aren’t anywhere on the other person’s radar. She reminds me almost constantly to consider things from a spiritual or emotional view that I will blow past 9/10 times. This is a huge blessing for me as it helps me to really focus and center myself on what really matters. I like to think that I offer some creative problem solving and critical reasoning but you’d have to ask her to find out if that’s true or just my ego speaking ;)

ISFP: Nah, I totally agree with this. ENTP is great at recognizing when I’m stuck inside my head or experiencing tunnel vision in regard to how I’m handling my emotions or my outlook on my circumstances.  He’s unafraid to call me out on it and explain why my thinking is irrational.  He also has my back in the area of romantic attachments and is able to pick up on potential problems much faster than me - he sees things I overlook when I rely on my feelings.

ENTP: I don’t know if this is an Fi thing, but she loves and cares for me in a unique way no one else really does. It’s refreshing how caring and understanding she can be in a really unobtrusive way. I’ve had several other close friends, even higher Fe users like INFJ and ENFJ, but none of them really love in a way that’s not kinda pushy. When INFJ says “I’ll be here if you need me” it feels weird and standoffish, but when my ISFP palie says the same thing I know she’s really there for me.

Laughter, there’s a lot of laughter and laughter is good. There are other friendships where things aren’t nearly as loose or free to be silly and funny and having that with her is really a huge blessing. Especially when you consider that we both love to laugh and have a good time snickering or just being plain silly.

ISFP: Oh yeah, we’re silly and sassy all the time. It’s one of the great perks of being no filter buddies. We goof off and tease each other constantly. Things like having inside jokes about other people behind their backs or making faces and snickering at each other in serious meetings. He makes life fun!

ENTP: People seem to think ISFPs are simple or dumber than other types but lemme tell you, this gal is wicked smart. I’m often flabbergasted by her ability to add a simple “what about this?” to whatever I’m considering that makes total sense and drastically enhances whatever plan I was considering.

Struggles

ENTP: Our senses of humor can be quite different at times. Whereas mine tends to be based on relating different concepts, or turning words around to play with them, hers tends to be more based on sounds or instances in our environment.

ISFP: Yeah, we tend to miss each other in the moment sometimes. I think most of it relates to us just being so different in how we perceive the world around us and process information.  His need to “understand all the things now!” can be a little too intense for me. I frustrate him when I’m quiet during a rough time and bottle up my thoughts and feelings.  Just being real here; we don’t have that picture perfect friendship where we’re 100% in tune all the time and there’s never ever conflict.  We do fight and hurt each other sometimes.  The good news is that these fights are pretty far and few between - and we do our best to look out for each other, which means that we talk through misunderstandings before they blow up into something bigger.

Why it works

ISFP: We’ve made a mutual commitment to be 100% honest with each other. Which, in the moment means we’re free to spout out whatever goofy or snarky thoughts come into our heads, but also gives us the freedom during serious talks to call each other out on our bullshit in a loving way.  

ENTP here now, but no filter buddies is like the best thing ever! I’m used to constantly biting my tongue or holding thoughts back because they tend to be rude or out of place to most people but she does a great job at accepting, and often joining in my goofy/random/weird thoughts. As an added bonus, no-filter buddies means we don’t have to worry about hidden meanings or assumptions, we can just up and ask if something is wrong and trust for the truth.

ISFP: We defined the relationship early on, which gives us the basis to set boundaries and know what to expect from each other. ENTP and I aren’t dating and don’t intend to be romantically involved any time in the future. Agreeing that we want to keep things platonic early on has been very, very helpful. I don’t have to worry about accidentally leading him on, or reading too much into every little thing he says.  

ENTP: We accept each other unconditionally, never letting a mistake or flaw of the other discredit them from our love/acceptance.

ISFP: We work through conflict and try to talk it through sooner than later.  The purpose is to understand why it happened, how the other person was affected, and how we can best support each other going forward. This one is the most challenging for me, because I like to have time and space to process strong emotions, while ENTP prefers to know what is going on right away and resolve things as quickly as possible.

But yeah, what ENTP said about unconditional acceptance is huge. Most of the time we disagree, it’s just because we’re looking at things differently.  Having this mindset is so helpful because it forces us to slow down and listen...and often find that we’re actually on the same page after all.  In the end, whether or not we always agree on something, we put the friendship first. Having him in my life is more important than having the picture-perfect bestie, although I couldn’t ask anyone better.  :)