#anyways i have to go watch tape (2001)

[tellmewhytheyswoon]

robert sean leonard and ethan hawke new collaboration when

[littlethingwithfeathers]

I'm grumpy about Silent Hill again...

TW for discussions of suicide, self harm, abuse (both parent to child and amongst peers) and general spookiness. Y'know... the usual Silent Hill rigmarole of trauma and despair. Also be warned that I'm going to spoil a lot of the Silent Hill series, in particular Silent Hill 2 and the Short Message game that just came out. ***

So... one of my most popular posts out there is this one. It's about Pyramid head and the loss of subtlety in media. And I couldn't help but feel like we hadn't moved an inch from when I posted that back in... *checks date on post* hrrk. my bones... 2017. I'm going to die soon. Anyway. Today I watched Second Wind do a run of the short, free-to-play Silent Hill: Short Message. I admittedly had a good bit of trepidation going in just because of the marketing. Which, for all of you marketing majors out there, that is called "Not a good sign." Marketing should make you want to play a game... especially if you're a fan of the series already. But this... it was a bit of a wet blanket, largely due to the fact that it spoiled a lot of the focus of the game. It basically said "this is a game about how bullying and being chronically online is real bad. We're gonna be spooky about it now." And... straining to push aside how incredibly reductive that is... why give it away? Why say it out loud? Why did you tell us what you are doing? Can you imagine Silent Hill 2 if we'd known it was about James killing his wife from the jump? We didn't. We hadn't the first clue. We knew nothing other than that he was looking for her and she was maybe dead? But we didn't know how... possibly lung cancer or TB given that she had the most pointed coughing sequence since the movie Tombstone. And hey... the last game had someone looking for a loved one too. Maybe that's the deal with Silent Hill. Who knows? No one did at that point. It was still a big old mystery for the most part. And then the E3 trailer... like there's the weird pretty lady in jail? But what's she talking about? Who the fuck is Mary? Is that... his wife? Well then who the hell is Ms. Miniskirt? No wait... is that his wife in the VHS tape? What the hell is going on? Oh look gameplay! And... a little girl? And a weird guy with a gun... This soundtrack slaps. I'm gonna go see if it's up on Napster yet. (this was 2001... again... my bones etc) I remember combing over low-res copies of that video for HOURS when it came out. Why are the nurses different? It's not snowing? Who are all these people... And why do they all sound like they put ketamine in their coffee. It was like a great big puzzle to work out and we had a ball theorizing and researching so when it came out we were HYPE. And that was largely because in short... we knew SOME things at release. Fog. Nurses. Big stick. Weird people. Banger soundtrack. Dead (but probably not) wife. And we presumed or supposed more... cult activity? New beasties? Radio maybe? But we effectively knew nothing about the plot. And the best part was, while they had a solid hook (Find dead lady who we love so huggy buggy much) and instant intrigue (Angela in the cemetery being weirder than a film by David Lynch), and a very familiar setting (we may have improved draw distance on the PS2, but we don't have to use it!), we still didn't really know what was going on. The plot was essentially unfolding out of a black box. Silent Hill 2 was quite content to be a slower burn than trying to boil the Lake Superior with a signal flare. You don't even see the main "villain" Pyramid Head until a few hours in and, as I pointed out in that other post, there's no flashy cut scene to introduce him and go WOOOOOO SCARYYYYY. He's just chillin' behind some prison bars (which that totes is normal in an apartment complex) and staring at you like I stare at the inside of my fridge when I really would like some cheese to materialize.

And then... like we're not even really sure what the hell is going on for the longest time. We meet our wife's hot twin with the key to a strip club and she keeps getting killed over and over... and things keep getting increasingly rapey and lewd in a way that's just uncomfortable more than anything... But even at the end. Even with the big reveal of "You killed your wife." they still don't ever explicitly state "And you killed her because you couldn't have sex with her anymore." It wasn't until you finished the game, and talked to someone else about it, or let your brain cook on it for a bit that you went... heyyyy... he's a horndog! (In fact... if I'm going to chide SH2 for anything it's that right at the very VERY end they tried to frame James's actions as understandable because the woman who was dying and frightened and in pain was mean to him. Yes, being a caretaker is hard. But Christ... pick a topic for discussion.) But contrast all that with Short Message. The marketing and such all said out loud "THIS IS ABOUT BULLYING" so even going in... I was already like "yep. The bully is probably us, but we had reasons because we have to be complicated and you aren't allowed to make the player feel bad" And lo was I correct. There was no... intrigue. I was never curious about the character or the people around her because I knew this story. They already told me what story they were telling so I could practically sing along, especially as a millennial that had to grow up watching little videos and skits in school about the evils of bullying. And when you are going to tell a trope-ish story, and you tell the audience what the trope is, it becomes "say the line" writ large. This isn't me advocating for super twisty unexpected plot arcs (looking at you, Supernatural). Far from it. You absolutely should tell a story in such a way that the audience understands how you got from point A to point Z, even if there are some surprises along the way (See Sixth Sense for that masterclass). Rather, what I'm missing from this (and frankly a lot of the Silent Hill games and honestly... media in general these days) is a sense of restraint. A sense of trust in their audience to "get it." They can't just plonk us in the fog with a radio and a stick and say "You're here to find your best friend/dog/cousin/wife/business partner. Good luck. Here's a weirdo to prattle cryptically at you in order to unsettle you immediately. Bye!" No! They have to tell us what kind of story they're telling and what themes are important. They can't just... give us a Silent Hill Game and trust that we know what to do with it. It's... insulting frankly. Especially as a longtime fan of the franchise who remembers when they did trust us and they did have faith in their work. I will say this in compliment to Short Message. The environment design was pretty cool. Especially the sticky-note hallways... they looked like leaves... and sometimes teeth... and like tightly packed bones in an ossuary. It didn't... say anything really. But it looked cool. And you can't go wrong with Akira Yamaoka's soundtrack. But... while I'm on the subject of design. Y'all. An animate sakura tree in an oversized hoodie is not scary. But bless you for at least having the restraint to not make her Pyramid Head.

[sapphire-weapon]

my first fictional crush was goku at age maybe 6.

the first fanfiction i ever wrote was FF7. the second one was DBZ. the third was a crossover between them both. i was like. 8 or 9.

in 5th grade, i got in trouble in school for passing handwritten DBZ fanfiction back and forth with the boy who sat front of me in class, and my mom refused to yell at me for it because she was glad that i was doing something creative.

DBZ was one of the things that my brother and i actually did together as kids. we were never close because he's 6 years older than me, but i have distinct memories of coming home from school and he'd be waiting with the next 3 or 4 DBZ episodes he'd downloaded from the internet, japanese fansubbed in english because the english dub hadn't released past the frieza saga yet. so i knew how the series went before any of my friends did. he would also go to chinatown in NYC and come home with bootleg fansubbed VHS tapes of DBZ movies. this was like circa 1999-2001. i still have them at my mom's house.

before i knew that cosplay was a thing that people actually did, i went as pan from DBGT for halloween when i was 12.

when i did find out what cosplay was, i was too afraid to do it properly, so when i went to my first convention at 17 with a boyfriend who did not want to go with me but i made him go anyway (it was AnimeNEXT 2007), i threw together a closet cosplay of a genderbent mirai trunks. and i actually found the fucking picture i took of it in the bathroom at my mom's house.

(that's the closest you're ever going to get to a proper face reveal btw lmao a 17 year old picture of me where you can see more of my tits than my face.)

i then went on to properly redo my pan cosplay, and i cosplayed chichi as well. took a picture at a con with a lil baby like 3 year old who was dressed up as goku. can't find it right now though.

in 2011, i went to anime boston with @feelboss and @theggning and drunkenly ran into sean schemmel (the english voice of goku) and somehow ended up on stage with him later that night, still wasted, at the hentai dubbing panel. faked an orgasm on stage for goku in front of about 200 people. my first fictional crush. probably the most iconic moment of my con-going days. i was 21.

the very first time i was able to use analysis of a character's arc to accurately predict their future portrayal in canon was mirai trunks. when his db super arc aired, i remember just being totally floored like, "i can't believe i actually called so much of this" -- especially considering the fact that DB never really had much of a reputation of being consistent.

i just have so many memories of staying up late with @godtier watching DB and shitposting and RPing bardock and raditz and trolling the fuck out of each other, and just

man DB was such a huge part of my life and just... felt like it was always there for me.

i don't normally mourn celebrity deaths, but i feel like i've spent the last 30 years of my life with akira toriyama. losing him hurts so much. it feels like the world has had a little bit of hope fade away from it. i have a headache from crying.

i know that i would always meme on you for forgetting your own characters, but... thank you, toriyama-san. for everything.

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE (… CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!)

I feel very motivated. Yes it’s 5 am

It’s December now……..originally wasn’t gonna consider this canon but it is. We’re cooking again. WE DRAW CLOSER TO 2002!!!!!!! its december 24th 2001 in story!!!

this one’s a quick one since it’s just a one off chrystler chapter.

hopefully it’ll hold u guys for just a LIITTLEEE longer while i work on other things too. by the way when i rewatched the eggnog match, it was so fast it actually made me mad LMAO, well not much you can do there anyway so i tried improvising..?

‘TWAS THE RAW before Christmas and you’re sure there’s a lot of holiday cheer. You’re excited. What’s the night got in store?

You received a blue and red envelope in your locker today.

It’s painfully obvious they were invited to Smackdown and Raw’s Christmas parties, but you think it’s only because they want you to see what each brand had in store. They hadn’t started the draft yet, but you’re sure both General Managers had their eyes on a few picks…including you.

All you can hope is that the fans don’t get tired of you. It’s probably the only way you’d be allowed to be a free agent.

Before you can leave, your phone rings. You’re a little concerned, given that you’re at work and have never ever gotten a call. You’re about to enter the room, but you take a step back to quickly answer. “Hello?”

‘Hello, sweetie! How are you? Are you working?’

It’s your mother, and when hearing her voice, you sigh. “Hey, yes. I’m working. Is something wrong?”

‘No, no at all.’ It makes you sigh again, but this time in relief. ‘I watched one of your shows. That Jeff boy seems very nice. I’d like if you bring him home for Christmas!’

Oh, that’s not…

It takes you a moment to respond. “What? Why?”

‘He just seems sweet! That is a pure-hearted boy, and you seem to care for him enough. I’ll be expecting you two love birds.’ She says. ‘That is if you’re able to come home.’

“I’m not sure. I think I might, but only for a day. The next Raw doesn’t get taped until…well, next year. In January. I forgot when Smackdown was.”

‘I hope you do. We miss you very much. Give what I said some thought! I won’t bother you anymore. I love you!’

“Love you too. Bye bye.” And you hang up. You don’t think you’ll ever tell anyone what she said. You probably wouldn’t hear the end of it!

You take a deep breath and shake it off. As you walk through the door, you’re greeted by a camera and…Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco in elf outfits.

Wow, what a party Mr. McMahon has hosted…

Speaking of him, he was already at the door once he opened it. “I totally wasn’t listening to your conversation,” He clarified. You roll your eyes. But your boss is thrilled to see you, outstretching his arms.

“You’re the star of the night! I assure you, you’ve chosen the right party. You’re going to love it here.”

He tries going in for a hug, but you don’t react. Instead, he awkwardly reaches his hand out, and you shake it hesitantly. This is still your boss, after all.

“Everybody give a warm welcome to [Name]!” Vince announced. Great, now everyone’s staring.

You give a small wave as everyone in the room soundly greets you. Some of these people look familiar. Billy and Chuck, Terri, Christian, The Dudley Boyz….

And then there’s Stacy. Your eyes brighten once you see her in the room. She’s the only one you know well. She’s also excited to see you, hopping off of (who you can assume is) Bubba’s lap.

“[Name]! You came!”

“Hi.” You wave. “You look nice.”

Your voice is dry, which makes Stacy pout in return. However, your compliment puts her at ease. “Thanks!”

She then takes her hand and pulls on your shirt. “What’s with this? I thought you’d be all dressed up! It’s about to be Christmas! You dressed up when we were in WCW, remember?”

You do. It’s not because you wanted to, either. You didn’t really have a choice. Management wanted all the girls to come out in their little cute Santa’s helper costumes, and the moment you complained about it, you were told that you could just go for the day…and not be on TV.

You shake your head. “I’d rather just wear my regular clothes. Now, you may ask why again. The answer…is because I can. “To you, that reason was as good as any.

“Ugh, come on.” She whines. “I wanted to see you in something nice. I think the crowd would love it, too!”

There lies the problem. You scoff. “As if I’m showing any kind of skin in this landfill of a place called Miami. Of all the states we have to be in, it’s Florida?! Gross..” Your words incite booing from the crowd, but it’s not like you can hear them anyway. “This place sucks. I saw a man wrestling an alligator outside.”

“You’re silly. You should take a load off.” Stacy grins. Little did she know, you were dead serious. And the man was WINNING! Incredible.

You figured there was no convincing Stacy. She must’ve thought you were crazy.....if she doesn’t already.

She takes her hand and pats your shoulder. “It’s okay, [Name]. Maybe you’re just a little hazy from excitement. You should have some fun with us!”

“I don’t think I can.” You decline. “I’ve got a segment soon. So, not for long. Whatever’s going on here, I’m happy to see we’re all getting along.”

“I’m taking that you like it here?” Vince cuts in, then motions towards the other wrestlers. “See all the star power in here. That could be you. You can be involved. You sign with SmackDown, I promise you you’ll see that and more.”

You will consider. You’re not entirely sure whether or not you want to be with either brand because they have pros and cons. The problem is, which one would you rather deal with?

“Right, um..” You hesitate for a second, and Vince immediately jumps on his chance.

“Well, why don’t you come over and drink some punch? If that’s not your thing, we’ve got a lot of options.” He holds up a bottle of sparkling cider.

Man, he’s really trying hard, huh?

The arrival of Booker T grabs his attention, and you slink away to Christian instead. “Hey! Been a while.”

Christian looks around before looking at you with a grin. (Something you know he did on purpose) “If it isn’t my favorite fan! How’s it going, tiny?”

It’s been a while since he’s even called you that nickname, and it still does NOT hold true. You swear to god it’s not true. “I have definitely been fine! Just hanging in there.”

“I dunno, what you did at Vengeance was completely nuts. Are you sure you’re just hanging in there? Not gonna do the same to me, are you?” He asks.

“No. I just want to relax today! I really do.” You admit. You’re tired, and you want some time to think. This party does nothing for your racing thoughts, but the least you could do was try and enjoy it before leaving.

Which was probably soon.

“I don’t mean to butt in at all,” Terri comes over to you and rubs your shoulder. “But are you doing alright? The last time I saw you was when you mistook me for Torrie. And you had a bit of a meltdown during Vengeance.”

Wow, you really did leave a mark. Everyone must know about your little stunt. You fight a smile. “I’m just fine. I got my anger out and everything. I’m totally not mad.”

That was a lie. You are still mad and are unsure how long it’ll last, but you are still upset at Torrie. You’re still upset at Jeff and Raven as well, but the difference is that you don’t think you’ll ever forgive her for what she’s done so far.

Terri was going to speak again, but Vince loudly called everyone to attention. “You guys! Listen up, I got a surprise.” The door opens, and you don’t believe your eyes. “Courtesy of Santa himself, Santa’s little helpers!”

….Wait a second, these aren’t elves. They’re women! Did he seriously invite strippers?

They’re fully clothed, but their dresses were so short you might as well consider it next to nothing. It’s not like you’re complaining per se, but jeez. Wasn’t this supposed to be a kid-friendly show?

Haha, as if. You chuckle to yourself a bit.

Vince is introducing them as Santa’s helpers indeed. He takes “Vixen’s” hand to lead her onto a table.

“Alright,” You don’t want to stay around for this. “You guys have a good night, okay? I think I’m cutting it close. I need to get out in the ring.”

“But I’ve got a lot to show you, [Name]. You can’t just leave yet!” Vince tried to convince you, but you shook your head.

“Really can’t. But I promise I’ll consider Smackdown.”

You have to quickly exit before he can say anymore, but you can’t deny that you’re excited to talk in the ring.

Did you expect anything less from Vince McMahon? No. Hopefully, Raw would fare better.

Well, you’ll see soon enough.

It’s your turn to go out there, and you were pretty amped up about it. Sure, it’s another show of Raw, but it’s Christmas Eve, and Santa should be out and about now!

You want to show the crowd and everyone at home how excited you are for Christmas. Today’s another episode of Time Out with [Name]!

Once your entrance music plays, you push back the curtains and head down the ramp. Thanks to your stunt at Vengeance, you got a lot of mixed reactions from the crowd. 

Jerry is the first to point it out. ‘Well, she seems to be in a good mood, JR!’

‘She sure is. I’m not sure if we should be on guard or not. That woman is a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.’

Thankfully, they had given you a mic before going out there. The moment you slid into the ring and were faced to face with thousands of people, you couldn’t help but fall into a laugh.

“Okay, I know what you guys are thinking,” You begin. “Vengeance may have gotten a little out of hand! I get it. But if you were in my shoes, you’d understand! Anyway, that’s not why I came here tonight.”

JR can only shake his head. ‘Well, I’m sure we’d all like to hear what’s going on in that mind of hers.’

“I have an extraordinary guest today..” You trail off. “In fact, you all know him very well! He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake! It’s Santa—“

The Rock’s music plays instead. He quickly storms down to the ring, and you’re actually shocked that he interrupted you like that. The crowd cheers so loudly that you can’t even hear your thoughts. You figured it was a given. You’re in Miami, after all.

You start to talk as soon as he starts climbing into the ring. “Um, excuse me? Rocky?” The little pet name you call him makes him raise that iconic eyebrow toward you. “I-I didn’t call for you. I was waiting for Santa. But you’re more than welcome to wait for him with me.”

He stares at you momentarily, then reaches over the ring for a mic. There’s still more silence, and as you await your response, you look at him expectantly.

“..No.” He finally says. “The Rock came here to share a very important message with the MILLIONS—and MILLIONS—of Rock’s fans.”

“I get that.” You say. “I’m all for it, but this is my show. Like, jeez, if you’re gonna interrupt Santa, at least let me ask you some questions.”

“You think Santa’s coming here?! Miami is hot as hell, the guy’s gonna melt!” He’s got a fair point. But it’s Christmas! Santa would make a way to get here one way or another. “[Name], The Rock came out here because he has a few questions for you. You’re going to want to hear this, sweetheart.”

You’d be almost flattered at the pet name if it wasn’t for the slight derisive tone behind it. You can’t deny your curiosity, though. “Oh, pray tell!”

“You and The Rock both hate Chris Jericho. You and The Rock also hate….Stephanie McMahon.” He says. It’s true. Very true! You hate both of them. “And because we share the same hatred, The Rock has gotten you a gift. Consider it a peace offering.”

How sweet! Can’t refuse presents. Maybe Santa could wait for a minute. Hopefully, Austin won’t get too angry that you’ve accepted this.

He reaches over the ropes to one of the stagehands, and he’s handed a neatly wrapped gift. It is handed off to you, and you’re already excited, ripping it open as fast as possible.

The camera zooms in on your gift, and it’s…

…a book with a red bull on the cover. You look at him in confusion before repeating the title for the crowd. “The Rock’s night before Christmas? Did you really just give me a book??”

The Rock ignores your comment, and the crowd laughs as he takes the book away from you.

“You sure are. Here, let The Rock help you,” He flips open the book to one of the pages. “Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even….a mouse.” He pauses for a moment. “The weather was warm, not a trace of snow, just as The Rock got ready to whoop Chris Jericho.”

You nod your head. The only reason why you’re playing along is because of the Jericho line.

But he teases you anyway. “…See, there you go. That’s how you read a book. Go on, try it.” He hands it back to you.

You clear your throat. Guess that’ll be a way to pass the time waiting for Santa. “Jericho claims to be the best. The Rock has found this quite brutal. Clearly, Chris Jericho is a man who has no strudel.”

Whatever that means. The crowd goes crazy, though.

You look over to The Rock, and he nods in approval. He makes a motion with his hands for you to keep going. “I am a living legend! Y2J would sing, trembling with fear as he heads into the peoples ring…and faster, faster than Scrooge, saw the ghost of Christmas past—“

The Rock cuts you off, finishing the rhyme once and for all. “The Rock hit the people’s ring and WHOOPED Y2J’S ASS!”

Wow! What a wonderful Christmas gift. Not.

You thought it was something useful. For all you care, he could’ve gifted you a chair. A brand new kendo stick. Maybe even a steel pole. Hell, you’d even take a pair of socks over this book.

“Not to sound ungrateful, but this is my gift? No joke?”

The Rock nodded. “Well?? Do you like it?”

Your silence told a million words. The moment you’re about to speak, you can’t help but laugh once more. It takes you a minute to pull it together.

“As much as I would love to rag on Jericho, and believe me, I would LOVE to rag on him, that’s not what I expected. It’s Santa. And in the spirit of Christmas, it just so happens I have a gift for the crowd, too.”

The crowd cheers, but you already know what they’re thinking. You point a finger upward. “No, it has nothing to do with me taking my clothes off!”

And just like that, the crowd begins to boo. Aw.

Just as you’re about to spill the deets about your Christmas gift, the familiar tune of Kurt Angle’s music plays. For the love of god, you just want Santa Claus!!

“Sorry, guys..” Kurt insincerely apologizes from the top of the ramp. “All this talk about Christmas makes me think about something. What is it that you said about Santa Claus? He sees you when you’re sleeping..he knows when you’re awake?”

You scoff at the mimicking of what you said earlier, but he continues. “Well, if you ask me, Saint Nick is a pervert! I’ll tell ya what, I hope Santa isn’t watching tonight because I plan on being very naughty.”

How dare he drag Santa’s name through the dirt like that? “You can’t say those things about Santa. Most importantly, you can’t just say you’ll be naughty! You’re the pervert!” You accuse.

“You’re the only one thinking that way, [Name]!” Kurt accused back. “And boy, I am glad you’re not stripping out here tonight. Now that’s a relief. This is supposed to be a kid-friendly show!” Yeah right.

“Are you sure about that?” You question. “Earlier, there was—“

He quickly cuts you off. “As a matter of fact, you or anyone else shouldn’t be idolizing Santa. There is someone far more powerful than he is, and it’s Vince McMahon. In fact, he got your Olympic hero a very special Christmas present.”

“Vince makes little kids cry at that sight of him!” You accuse. “You think they’d idolize him??”

You’re unsure if it is true, but he’s scary. You remember when he ran towards you and Trish during that one match. A literal nightmare. “What did you get? I bet it’s not better than mine!”

“Don’t you know?” As Kurt is speaking, you can hear the crowd chanting ‘asshole’ around you. It makes you giggle. “It’s—“

“Woah, woah, woah!” The Rock interrupts. “Please let them finish calling you an asshole!”

You seem exasperated that your show has been hijacked yet again, on Christmas Eve nonetheless. “Guys, there’s gotta be a way we can settle this. You know, somewhere else?”

“No, no, you’re gonna wanna hear this,” Kurt says. Both of them have said that, so that means that you won’t like it as much..

“That present is a shot at the undisputed title. That’s right, tonight is going to be a triple-threat match. The Rock versus Chris Jericho versus Kurt Angle. Ho, ho, ho, it’s true!”

You had brushed it off when she said it in passing, but Trish really had a point when she said that the men ruin everything. This was already cutting into your time.

Kurt seems to be confident, though. “And I tell you what, Rock, your chances at winning the title in front of these sleazy hometown losers just went slim to none!”

“Let me just say,” You decide to add. “That Stone Cold Steve Austin would wipe you two off the map! Uh, no offense, Rocky.” You say, gently setting a hand onto his bicep. “If Vince McMahon had any good in him, which I doubt, he would let Austin into that triple threat and make it a fatal four-way!”

The jeering quickly turns into cheers, and you bow to your fantastic suggestion.

“Oh, absolutely not!” Kurt yells. He decides to make his way down the ramp, and you start to feel like this isn’t ending well. “I got this fair and square. Stone Cold doesn’t deserve this as much as I do. There’s a reason why Vince put the Olympic Gold Medalist into action and not some trailer park trash.”

Ouch. You wince.

“Seeing as you came out here and interrupted [Name] ’s little show..” Finally, the recognition you deserve. “Just let The Rock finish his Christmas message and he’ll tell you exactly how he feels about this whole thing—“

The sound of holiday bells fills the arena, and you immediately shush The Rock, albeit ruder than you intended to be. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP!” You yell. “IT’S SANTA!”

Lo and behold, it’s Jolly Old Saint Nick himself. Santa’s holding a red sack, which is likely full of presents.

More than likely, it was merchandise, and Santa reached in and began tossing things into the crowd. You’re giving him a standing ovation.

The Rock looks at you as if you’re insane. Even Kurt, who had just begun climbing the ropes into the ring, shoots you a look as well.

“Look! It’s Santa!” You exclaim, pointing right at him. “He’s right there! I told you guys he was coming!”

After a minute of throwing things out into the crowd, Santa chucks his bag into the ring and clambers in. You immediately hold out your mic for him to take. You’ll grab another one, you don’t even care.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa bellowed. This is really happening in real time. You skip over to the ropes and reach for a new mic as he continues talking. “Have you wrestlers been good this year?!”

You make haste to grab a new microphone. “I have!” There’s a giggle in your voice. “I don’t know about them, but I’ve been the nicest!”

Kurt shakes his head. “I don’t think so! You beat up poor Stephanie McMahon just a few weeks ago!” He calls back to your handicap match, but in your defense, she started it.

“That wasn’t my fault. Stephanie was trying to interfere! She even interrupted my show!” You shoot back. “You know, like you two interrupted mine?!”

He’s still not swayed. “She’s a potential business partner! You can’t just do that to a potential business partner!” Kurt then gives you a sardonic grin. “Personally, I’m just making it better.”

“A potential business partner? HA! Maybe on the street!” You laugh. “I swear to god, I will—“

Santa immediately puts a stop to your petty bickering. “Friends! There’s no need to argue. I can see how good you are in your hearts!”

That was so real. You smile, but The Rock is shaking his head. He points a finger toward him. “So, Santa, you came to The Rock’s hometown of Miami…..all the way from the North Pole? The Rock isn’t sure if he believes that.”

“What do you mean you don’t believe it?! He’s Santa!” You motion towards him.

Kurt doesn’t believe it either. “Yeah, right. I hate to agree with him, but look at him!”

All three of you turn to look at Santa at the same time. You personally see nothing wrong with him. “What’s the deal? This is definitely Santa.”

“…Well, [Name], whatd’ya want for Christmas?” Santa asks.

“See! How else would he know my name if he wasn’t Santa?” You question. You take a second to think about what you want, then bring the mic up so you can talk.

As soon as you’re about to speak, Santa Claus stands up and cuts you off. “Aht, aht, aht!” He waves a finger. “That was a test. Never tell your wish! Fret not, Santa knows all. Perhaps you’ll get what you want this year!”

You’re convinced and happy. That’s all that matters.

“Listen, ‘SANTA,’ Kurt sarcastically begins. “If you’re the real deal, I want to win the Undisputed Championship tonight. Can ya’ do that for me?!”

“I apologize, Kurt, but…. you’ve told me your wish; I don’t believe I can grant it.”

“HA!” You laugh. He’s not getting the Undisputed title for sure now. That’s one less thing for you to worry about.

“You can’t grant my wish...” Kurt repeats, nodding his head a bit. “Okay.” He shrugs it off momentarily, giving the impression that he’s about to leave, but he swoops Santa off his feet and into an Olympic Slam. As soon as Poor Santa hits the ground, Kurt angrily yells at him. “YOU’RE GONNA GIVE ME MY WISH, SANTA!”

“Wait!!” You yell. But it’s too late. “NOO! What’re you doing?! I can’t believe you!!!” You’re so distraught that your words are coming out way too fast. Kurt Angle just gave Santa an Olympic Slam!

To make things worse, Kurt pulls him right into the Ankle Lock. You’re yelling, but The Rock just stands there. That is until he decides to yank Kurt back and exchange blows with him instead.

As of right now, pain is all you feel. You kneel down to the fallen Santa, trying your best to help him up.

There’s one thing for sure. This Raw would be memorable…for all the wrong reasons.

Today’s matches are as follows…

RIKISHI VS. TEST

APA VS. BILLY AND CHUCK

TORRIE WILSON VS. STACY KEIBLER VS. [NAME] (EGGNOG MATCH)

RVD VS. LANCE STORM

CHRISTIAN VS. THE HURRICANE (EUROPEAN TITLE)

BOOKER T VS. MAVEN

BUBBA CLAUS VS. TAJIRI CLAUS

CHRIS JERICHO VS. KURT ANGLE VS. THE ROCK

You double take once you see your name alongside Stacy and Torrie.

Who put you in the eggnog match? You’re going to kill someone. This is probably one of the first gimmick matches you’ve had here, and it makes you reconsider shunning a bra and panties match…

….Nah, nothing would ever make you reconsider that. By some stroke of luck, you haven’t been signed up for one. However, you’d much rather have an actual match tonight!

Now you’ve got a bone to pick with Raw’s new owner. More than likely, he had something to do with this, so you can’t blame Vince THIS TIME. You may just start blaming him for shits and giggles, though.

“[Name]!”

You look behind you to see RVD storming down the hall. He doesn’t seem in the greatest of moods, but you still try and be friendly. “Hey there! What’s up?”

It’s a bit off-putting to see him so irritated. He seems so laid back. The moment he grabs your shoulders is when you realize that it may be serious. “Have you seen Chris Jericho? This is important.”

Seems like everyone’s looking for him. He is always causing trouble. You think it’ll only get worse now that he’s the Undisputed champion, but you can only hope someone else can beat him.

If that doesn’t happen, perhaps you’ll have to intervene.

He rubs his temple. “He attacked me on Heat before Vengeance. I know he’s performing tonight, but I don’t care. Lance Storm had a lot to say about it, so now I’ve gotta kick his ass.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it. My advice is to try the locker room. He’s vain enough to stay in there for days if he could. I’m sure he loves checking himself out.” You recommend.

RVD seems to relax a bit. He doesn’t think he can be mad around you, at least not for long. He lets go of your shoulders. “Alright, Miss Nitro. I’ll try.”

That’s like the second nickname someone’s given you. Can’t complain about it, though. It’s kinda cute!

Though you feel bad that you can only catch him in the halls, you smile anyway. “I’ll catch up with you later. I’ve gotta hit up the party. We’ve gotta hang out sometime. I really enjoyed it when we were a team.”

“Ditto.” He agrees. “Well, when you need a partner, come find me.”

You wave at him, he returns it, and you two go your separate ways. The main objective was to get to Raw’s party. Talking to Ric Flair was really important.

You could hear a distant “woo!!” from down the hallway. Yeah, he’s definitely in there.

You pick up the pace a bit to reach the door, and you quickly open it. Upon entry, you can see more people that you know. Trish, Jacqueline, Big Show, Hurricane, Tajiri, Torrie…

Seeing her sitting in Santa Tajiri’s lap, you can’t help but stare in awe. She seems surprised, too, not expecting you to be at the party. There’s a camera here, so it follows you to where you stand. You cross your arms.

They did an awful job of telling you these things.

You glance around again and notice that Edge is here, too. God damn it.

Once you and Torrie locked eyes, the room fell silent. Some of your coworkers are starting to get an idea of how unstable you are.

They just hoped you wouldn’t go ballistic on her right now. It’s a party! You’re supposed to be having fun! You get the gist, so you decide to clear the air. “I just want to talk to Ric Flair. I'm not here to fight or anything.”

Nevermind the fact you got an invitation..

Everyone seems to let out a sigh of relief, continuing their miscellaneous conversations. Were they really that concerned..?

The Nature Boy makes his way over to you. “You called for me?!” You flinch at his tone of voice. He’s so loud.

“Yeah, why’d you schedule me in that eggnog match?” You question. “I don’t want to be in it. In fact, there’s no reason for me to be in it.”

He grabs a drink from the table and raises it up toward you in offering. “I thought it would be a good opportunity, I wanna see you wrestle!”

You wave your hand at him. “You did! Remember that one match with The Rock? You fixed the match!”

“Not good enough! I wanna see some hair pullin’, eye scratchin’, clothes rippin’! Woo!” Ric chants. “You’re the only person that can deliver it! I've seen you go at it when you were in WCW!”

You can’t even get a word out before he’s yelling even more. “MERRY CHRISTMAS, FROM THE NATURE BOY!! WE ARE PARTYING DOWN TONIGHT, WE ARE LOOKIN’ GOOD!”

You really fight the urge to say: “Take your pills, old man,” but you instead decide to zip it for now. Guess you’ll have to participate.

Meanwhile, Edge makes his way over to you. He’s got garland wrapped around his neck like a scarf, and you know he’s still goofy as ever.

“Hey there, you.” He greets.

You wave. “Hi.” This is too awkward for you, so you cut to the chase. “We’re fine now, right? I saw you catch my kiss. I blew you.”

“Hah, blew me.” Edge chuckled. Ha, ha. You almost laughed, he’s sooo hilarious. “I don’t know why you came out there, but I kind of liked it.”

You’re happy. At least he didn’t seem to be mad at you anymore. He totally took things out of context. You wanted to map out a few things to say to him in your head, but it’s tough when Torrie talks so loudly in her squeaky voice.

It’s like she was doing it on purpose. Like she’s raising her voice so that you could hear. If that’s what she wants, so be it. You turn around to look.

“Wooow!!” She chirps, unwrapping a lingerie set from the box. “You want me to be naughty, don’t you?! It’s beautiful, I love it!”

God, you hate her. You swiftly turn around to leave but are stopped by Debra coming in with a tray of neatly placed cookies.

“Hey, sweetie!” She greets you with a big smile. “I’m glad you could make it! It’s not a party without my famous cookies!”

You’re gonna be honest. Those look like the sugar cookies from the store, but you’ll still eat them.

She hands over the tray to Ric. “Oh! Steve will be here any minute!” He’s coming too?! Cool! It is a little surprising to hear he’s actually gonna show up. Everyone in the room starts to cheer, including the crowd.

Alright, perhaps the night can turn itself around after all.

Eggnog shouldn’t be that bad. It's not your favorite drink, but it’s better than gravy. You bet poor Trish had to take so many showers.

It honestly reminds you of when Kurt hosed the Alliance down with milk. You won’t ever forget that night. You shiver just thinking about it.

The ladies of the night have already made their entrance. You’re the last one to come out. You don’t even bother dressing up all festive, as your gear will probably be drenched anyway.

Your music hits. Now’s the time to go out there and get this match done as quick as you can.

“And finally, introducing [Name]!”

For a moment, you stop midway on the ramp to look at the girls and the pool of eggnog.

If they said this was for a WCW taping, you would’ve believed them.

You finally reach the end of the ramp, looking over and shaking your head. You can’t believe you’re doing this. All the while, Torrie’s tossing candy canes into the crowd while you walk over toward the side. At least someone’s enjoying this.

As soon as you get down there, she turns toward you and coyly passes you a candy cane, but you slap it out of her hand. You don’t want that shit.

Stacy quickly takes advantage, yanking her over by the shoulder and slapping her. Stacy yells over to you, “Let’s throw her in!”

Absolutely. You give her a nod, and the two of you back over to Torrie. The both of you pick her up, adjusting so she doesn’t get hurt too bad when you toss her.

“One, two….” You begin to count, the two of you rocking back and forth. “Three!” And there she goes, right into the pool of eggnog. Some of it splashes on you, but you don’t care.

Cameras around you flashed and it almost blinded you for a moment, causing you to squint for a moment before rubbing your eyes.

Once you come to, you see Stacy raising her hand for a high five. You smile and give her one, but as soon as she turns her back on you to laugh at Torrie, you shove her into the pool.

What an idiot! It’s every woman for themselves tonight. While you actually start to find this fun, you foresee a messy shower in the future. Carefully, you step right into the pool. You didn’t want to slip and hurt yourself.

Of course, the first thing you do is to try and drown Torrie. Just to shut her up for a bit. You grab her hair, submerge her under the eggnog for a minute or two, and then pull her back up. She’s coughing and sputtering.

Stacy’s doing her best to regain some balance, even trying to grab on the referee for some leverage. You’re too focused on Torrie, though.

The smell of eggnog was starting to make you sick. You don’t think you ever want to see eggnog ever again.

You try to adjust to pull Torrie onto a very slippery STF, but you keep losing your grip every few seconds. You did your best to keep it on, though.

Torrie reaches her hand out, but there’s no rope to save her now. You think she’s just about to tap!….until Stacy got her head back in the game and broke up the submission.

Now, you’ll have to focus on her for a minute. There’s not much you can do in the pool, which is one of the reasons why you hated this match so much.

She drags you off of Torrie and starts slapping you around a bit. Seems like she doesn’t know what to do either.

That damn Ric Flair. What did you even get out of this? Definitely not a title match that’s for sure.

Either you do a roll up pin or you force them to tap. You’re leaning on the latter. You don’t know your time limit, so you’re gonna have to make do. You scoop Stacy up and slam her back into the pool, eggnog splashing everywhere.

Poor Torrie’s little Santa outfit was almost halfway off of her. Stacy was in the same state. You were smart enough NOT to dress in anything like that. The crowd can have them, but not you!

“You girls have five more minutes!” The referee whisper-shouted.

Five minutes, okay. That’s not bad. Five minutes…

Wait, FIVE MINUTES?! Not good. You start to panic inwardly, and Torrie is the first to catch on.

She comes out of character to check in on you for a second. That is, after she coughs out more eggnog.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, but five minutes!” You exclaim, nearly losing your own footing, trying to adjust yourself.

You all need to start wrapping it up then. You’re almost disappointed it’s already almost over. Almost.

“Stacy!” You whisper-shout. “You’re gonna have to tap!” When you finish your sentence, you’re already moving to sweep her off her feet.

You really wish it was Torrie, but she’s too busy trying to get herself together. Man, if she threw up, there’s gonna be a problem.

Stacy desperately tries to claw at your arm to escape, to no avail. The referee circles around you two, and before you know it, she is tapping, causing eggnog to splash everywhere.

You let her go and shove her away, and the referee helps you up to raise your arm. You’re just ready to get the fuck out of dodge. You actually think that was the most embarrassing match you’ve been in.

“The winner of the eggnog match, [Name]!”

You snatch your arm from the referee and turn away to walk begrudgingly up the ramp, but don’t forget to bat your hand at the girls and the pool.

Your music blares in your ears, but it all sounds dull. All you care about is hitting the showers.

You’ve won, but at what cost? Sometimes, you really can’t help but hate your job.

As soon as you hit that curtain, Ric Flair gives you a round of applause with a smile. “Bravo!” Shockingly enough, he’s not being annoyingly loud. “Woooo! That was a show!”

“Good enough for you?” You ask sardonically. One of the stagehands passes you a towel, and you thank them. You use it to dry your face and hair. It’s gonna have to do for now.

God, you think you may have gotten eggnog in your ear…

“Hope you’re satisfied.” You have to hit your palm against your ear.

He just laughs, making you narrow your eyes.

“Listen, listen, I just have a deal for you. Because you did the favor of participating in this match, I’ve thought…how would you like to participate in the Royal Rumble?”

“What?!” You exclaim, nearly dropping your towel. “Are you serious?”

“Sure am. You see, I would like to surprise Vince. To keep him on his toes, I’m a bigger threat than he’ll ever know.” Ric explains. “There’s only 30 spots; I’m sure he will fill them quickly. So, you may want to talk to your fellow wrestlers. Maybe they’ll give up a spot.”

That’ll be hard to do. You know for a fact no man is willing to give up a spot like that. You’ll have to drive a hard bargain…

It takes a moment for you to respond. “..Well, I would love to, really! But I wouldn’t know how to get anyone to give up their spot. And I would have to just. I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

It was sprung onto you so suddenly that you weren’t sure what to do. Ric understands, luckily.

“Well, how about this? You take the rest of the night off. Go get cleaned up and think about it. Trust me, both of us are the winners.”

Now, that is an offer you cannot refuse. You’ll have to join the party next time.

For now, you just need to think.

[froggie-100]

My name is Ava grace, I was born in a small down located outside of London. On December 1st 2001 I started getting these weird gifts that were always wrapped up like a present. Once I’d opened it it would reveal a VHS tape each time. The VHS tape would always say “MAPLE&FREINDS” with the box cover art for the slip, then it would say the VHS tape name on it. I’m 9 and never heard of it before I decided to go up to the attic to see if we had a VHS player since I remembered my mom having one at some point. Once I found it I would sit down on the floor and play the tape. It would be glitchy but I could make out the characters and already knew their names, there was Maple the strawberry dog: a humanoid light yellow dog in a strawberry costume with stubby legs and arms. Luna the orange black cat: a humanoid black cat in an orange costume with stubby arms and legs. Bon bon the peach bunny: a light yellow humanoid bunny in a peach costume with stubby legs and arms. Beary the pear bear: a humanoid brown grizzly bear in a pear costume with stubby legs and arms. Alan apple pig: a pink humanoid pig in an apple costume with stubby legs and arms. Their personality was that maple was the sweet and caring one, Alan was the out of pocket and weirdly never paying attention or saying random stuff and also always cared about food, Luna was the dark and moody one, bearly was the brave and daredevil one, and bon bon was the shy one. The VHS tapes I got was “the adventure!” “Meet maple” “rainy days” “storms” “sleep” “bon bons garden” “the beach” “Halloween” “Easter” “vacation” “school” “the house” “alans cooking!” The last two were weirdly very disturbing…. “The house” was very kinda glitchy but you could still make it out, stadic behind the dialogue, and was set in a weird glitchy house. You saw almost all of the house but not the kitchen… the kitchen door way was pitch black and blurry, the only thing you could see was a silhouettes of a cat… then “Alan’s cooking!” Was weird and terrifying… it was distorted&extremely glitchy. You could hear the character’s screaming in the background every so often… then at the end it showed the remains of bon bon… her body was distorted and decomposing, you could see her organs.. as if it was an actual dead body… then as the days passed i didn’t get any more tapes! Finally! It was over I thought, but I was so wrong… on Christmas Eve it was about 3:30 pm, I had just got off of school when I saw another present on my door step… my heart immediately sank.. I picked it up but it had a note on it but i brought it inside anyways… I was still in my pink shirt and jeans, my brown hair messy from P.E. The tape was called “Christmas” I finally read the note and it says the following, “live and laugh, till the day, snow falls, cheer and joy is coming, it’s the holiday season, but soon, a life will be thrown away, into a void of disappear, and taken on a new form within a simple kids show” I felt uneasy and as if someone was watching me, but I played the tape anyways.. it opened up with its opening theme but Christmas addition. As the tape went on and on, it ended with screaming then the screen went black. The words appeared on the screen as following “live and laugh, till the day, snow falls, cheer and joy is coming, it’s the holiday season, but soon, a life will be thrown away, into a void of disappear, and taken on a new form within a simple kids show” it was the same thing!? But it had something else along with it.. “and that life shall be yours Ava” I felt scared and uncomfortable, I felt eyes on me.. then the scene went back to normal but it was in the living room with a tall slender purple cat with pitch black eyes and a pitch black smile and it was sitting on the couch, it’s limbs were longer than anything, you could almost see it’s skeleton, it had on a yellow and orange floral t-shirt, and it was staring directly onto the camera. It played the credits and it stopped. I called my girlfriend on my phone and told her everything! She said she would meet me outside of my house and we could hang out to help calm-

[mr-writes]

so @akindofmagictoo asked for stories on my options in my hyper specific poll (which honestly i was expecting someone to ask some of them were very out there) so i’m gonna put them below the cut

1. i have had exactly three seizures

pretty much self explanatory. i have photosensitive epilepsy (which only 3% of epileptics have) so my seizures are triggered by flashing lights. the first seizure was in 2005 at my 7th grade halloween dance after the DJ put on some strobe lights (which he refused to turn off even though i was actively seizing). the second was 4 years later in 2009 when i was sixteen. i had just gotten my eyes dilated and the sunlight coming through the trees while i was in the car just hit me the wrong way. the third was 5 years later in 2014 two weeks before i turned 21. i was on a carnival ride that lied and said it didn’t have strobe lights. he refused to stop the ride. i got a concussion that time.

2. i have an unhealthy obsession with disney’s hercules

the year is 1997 and i am 4 years old. i watch a disney movie that has a character with the same name as me. i imprint on said movie and now 26 years later it is still 90% of my personality (forever bitter that disney doesn’t care about it because it didn’t make enough money)

3. i told an american idol winner to his face that he didn’t deserve to win

okay so it didn’t happen exactly like that but it’s close enough. i met kris allen before a free concert he was having at the navy base where my dad worked. i told him that i voted for adam lambert and this fucker’s response was “well i won” (which he shouldn’t have because adam only lost because he’s gay. anyway) i have not gotten over it and he is my nemesis

4. i do most things (including typing) with one hand

i have cerebral palsy on the right side of my body so my right hand doesn’t work so good. when i was little my mom called it my magic hand so i would use it more but i’m perfectly comfortable just using lefty for everything

5. daveed diggs once defended me against some dude who was being ableist

i saw hamilton on broadway in february of 2016. it was freezing cold but i went to the stage door after the show because obviously. (i also met christopher jackson and renee elise goldsberry. they were also very nice). this douche bag in front of me who had literally pushed his way to the front of the barrier literally would not let me through (like literally kept stepping in front of me blocking my path) because “you should’ve gotten here sooner. i’m saving this spot for my daughter because she got held up” (hypocrite much? also the daughter never showed up so i’m pretty sure he was lying. anyway) i said “i’m disabled and got here as fast as i could. and since clearly you don’t want to be here for yourself you should step aside and let others through” normally i wouldn’t pull the disabled card but this dude was a royal jackass. he then proceeded to step on me and at this point daveed was in front of us and heard/saw the whole thing so he took my phone and more or less shoved the guy out of the way so we could take a picture. he then completely ignored the man who was demanding a signature on his playbill for the daughter who doesn’t exist. i love him.

6. i don’t drink anything that has caffeine in it

self explanatory. threw that one in so people had something to vote for

7. i once got drunk, tripped, tore up my knee, and then went to the movies all bloody

yeah so basically i went out with my family and when we were going to walmart to buy candy to sneak into the movies i tripped over my own feet (a common occurrence for me) and went down hard in the parking lot. it shredded my jeans and tore up my knee. it was bleeding more than it normally would have since i was drunk so we bought some gauze and medical tape at walmart and i went to the movies like that. and yes my jeans had blood on them

8. i broke my arm and no one realized it until like 12 hours later

it was the summer of 2001 and i was 7 years old. i was riding my bike when i toppled over. my wrist hit the curb and then my handle bar hit my wrist. i insisted it was broken but i’m a dramatic little bitch and it was swollen or red or bruised or anything that would indicate an injury so my mom told me to brush it off. but i was still complaining about it at bedtime so she had me sleep on the couch so i was closer to her room. i rolled over on it at like midnight and screamed so loud neighbors came running. i had a hairline fracture on my wrist and never rode a bike again

and that concludes The Only Interesting Things That Have Happened To Me

[dbzebra]

#12, #14 & #24 for the dbz ask game!! :))

Hey thanks for the ask!! ❤️❤️

12. How long have you been watching/reading the Dragon Ball series?

Since like 2001-2002! I remember getting into the series in Buu Saga, but I do have vague memories of “playing Dbz” with friends and it was the Cell Saga because it was when Cell was running around absorbing people

But anyway my earliest memories of when I got hooked when was the Goku vs Majin Vegeta fight was airing on Toonami. Plus the shot of Gohan lying in the grass all bloody and unconscious is ENGRAINED in my mind, I think my bias for the Buu saga started because of that lol. I remember looking everywhere for all the VHS tapes I could find lol

14. Do you own any merch?

Yep!!!

The whole manga, all of DB/Z/GT, my figures, plus like 40 video games that are all over the place lol

24. If you could write your own episode, what would it be about?

Goten and Marron go on a date lol

[the-firebird69]

Watch "2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY - Trailer" on YouTube

This fool was killing Dave and Carol's kids, people here now they went over their tapes and they hear it and they saw it. It turns in is very important it ties in and is very important they both died in the crash and Dave audette was up front and Dodie was Mac and they buried them and Trump went back for them when he was president and he made the Giants and revived them to a degree, and prior to and he did it to access the AI and he thought he didn't need it anymore so he disposed of them and they were in Alexander and Lady Gaga knew about it and do the song and it's murder and he's up for charges because he's an idiot and they don't trust he did it right and the AI has been located because the movie moonfall and his friends exposed him because they can't stand him anymore and his stuff doesn't work and he thinks that he's killing everyone with AI and it's Tommy f all I have to do is block a few pinpoint spots he says and you're a complete jackass and nothing's going in and out it's been up there forever and these guys probably have the thing probably so they're going after him cuz he has a designs for the laser light computer this is him and it's Trump AKA John remillard AKA Joe walks and you see him in 2010 getting will and bills and they hated him for it and tons of people need to know it

Thor Freya

And in 2001 he was xiang he was the leader. And he forced it out into his possession and he left it there we needed him to do that. And we needed to interview Dave and while there's up there screwing around the managed to do that nobody will ever know and Paris Hilton. And that was after Gene's Corp and he did for years took him forever finally stuck them together and he forced it out and he didn't get all the future kill he's a slob he's another whole thing and they've been in and out but are still intact and they got them in a lot of trouble he got Dave killed and he's a jerk and he went to Tennessee a while ago and read the letters and enough of this foolishness

Thor Freya

You're an ass Trump you ended up there in the sat on it you have the Interrupters and you sat on them you're fool you couldn't use it didn't build anymore and I was a test now he did not and you probably couldn't anyways so you wasted your friend and you took tech and you wasted attack and you got rid of your people so what's the reason for you getting rid of your people

Zues Hera

I guess I started doing it this stupid thing wouldn't work and try to use this a threat to be subtle and it didn't work still and I tried to build my own but I couldn't figure out how to read all that stuff I don't know how to do any of that stuff this sucks I got really screwed and I screwed it all up because I don't know how to do it and Davis right cuz he said on the phone I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not the one to tell you did anyways now I know why cuz I'm the full messing him up and you're speaking to him as a brother and he knew what he meant I can't believe it he said it right out loud I don't know what he meant

Joel Watts

We got it it's an innuendo and it was said all the time in westborough David was afraid of him cuz you're a failure and You're a murderer and he didn't die then it was in Florida you missed it but you got his wife and he wants to kill you the whole time I'll tell you what we're going to get you just for that you're mean people and they're smart and helpful yeah the dangerous but they can be controlled and you can't

Mac

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Heating up (Fic Part 191. Set in 2002)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places. Please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @tantamount-treason @piratewithvigor @thedollmaker16

Reference Posts: ‘Giantess’/‘Blacklight Bandit’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ’Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

"Now your ass may be sexy, but it ain't that sexy."

"You wound me, my love." He laughs.

"I don't look at your ass and immediately want to suck your dick, that's all I'm saying."

"That's fair."

"I love you, mon mari… Shannon leave my underwear alone."

"Just trying to get a good feel then get your hand out of my underwear."

"Alright, get a good feel then get your hand out of my underwear."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Your hands are cold, Shannon, that's my only issue, you have freezing cold hands right now."

"Oh shit, sorry. If I warm them up, can I keep groping?"

"Yes." Kirby nods.

"Right on," he looks up to Helms seriously, "Shane, flip for me."

Helms lifts an eyebrow before shrugging and lying down on his stomach. With an expert precision, Shannon begins massaging his back hard, warming his hands quickly and effectively.

"Are you using the human radiator I call my husband as a way to warm your hands?"

"Yes, and it's extremely effective."

"Kirby… do not make him stop…" Helms moans happily, obviously deeply enjoying the massage.

"I won't make him stop, I'm just asking if he's using you as a hand warmer… ya green goofball." She chuckles softly.

"He is. And I don't mind. Like using my superpowers for good. And if it involves letting this fool touch your butt, I'd say it's pretty good."

"Don't call him a fool."

"It's a nicer nickname than what I would call him as kids."

"What did you two call each other as kids?"

"Well, I'd usually call him a 'bitch-ass motherfucker' and then he'd call me a 'fucktard waffle' and then we'd kiss a lot. That was more as teens though."

"A fucktard waffle? Shannon what the hell is a fucktard waffle?"

"I think I heard it in a British movie as a kid. Someone called someone else a twat waffle. Didn't know what a twat was, but fucktard made sense to me and I liked the way it sounded." He shrugs.

"Twat is British slang for pussy, calling someone a twat waffle is basically calling them either an idiot or a pussy."

"Pussy waffle doesn't make much more sense than fucktard waffle. I stand by it."

"It's more like your calling them a complete idiot, it's just slightly nicer than calling them a cunt."

"I know it was probably a little different growing up with a lot of aunts and uncles and cousins, but hon, you gotta note that we grew up more or less dirt poor," Helms chuckles, "we hung out on the streets and thought we were tough and we had potty mouths. Kind of curbed them these days, but we used to cuss so much, it was hardly English anymore."

"I remember getting my mouth washed out with soap for calling Dwayne a dick head."

"Yeah… not a lot of soap on the streets. For mouths or armpits." Shannon laughs.

"I was gonna ask if you finally got some soap when you were in three count. Perhaps too much soap?"

"Okay, yeah, we were pretty shiny back then."

"I meant the boy band image, squeaky clean and never allowed to swear in front of potential fans."

"Yeah, pretty much. They cleaned us up, made Shannon stop dressing like he was homeless and gave us matching bandanas."

"I did watch you guys, you know… I think the first time I actually saw you guys was on one of Matt's tapes of you guys at an Omega show."

"Back when we were even tinier."

"He had put it on as part of trying to convince me not to put him in developmental, which wasn't my decision anyway, but I didn't even focus on Matt, I focused on everyone else and kept asking if they had a job or if we could hire them… he didn't answer any of my questions."

"You saying you saw us in Omega and liked us right away?"

"I wanted to hire you both, make sure WCW couldn't steal potentially great talent cause I knew that WCW were going down the toilet after hearing that Hogan was going to sign with them."

"God, fuck that guy." Shannon groans.

"Hogan is bad for business, I fucking hate him and I'm fairly sure he knows it."

"He must."

"It's not like I'm quiet about my hate for him."

"And he hates everyone who isn't him."

"He refuses to job, he only sees me as André's daughter and not as a fully grown woman who can easily snap his spine in half if he pisses me off."

"God that'd be hot," Helms murmurs, "Seeing you snap his spine like a twig."

"You wanna watch me prove how strong I can be, Shaney boy?"

"Yes please, but no lifting things."

"We have some logs outside I can split in two, would that fulfil your fantasy?" She teases.

"Yes please."

"Then I'll do that later, after Shannon's had the chance to compare our asses."

"Speaking of which, I think my hands are warm enough now."

"Feel away, blondie."

With an almost dramatic seriousness, Shannon begins gently groping both of them, nearly scientific in his rubbing and squeezing.

"Who has the better ass?"

"That's an evil question to ask." He chuckles.

"I just want to know if it's how I suspect it is and Shane has a finer ass than me, I think he has the best ass." She shrugs.

"His is more firm, but yours is rounder."

"So my ass is more like a peach?"

"Yeah. Like, his is a premature peach. More firm and smaller, but yours is a perfect peach. Soft and sweet and round."

"I like the way that sounds, I can now say I have a sweet ass."

"You do. No doubt about it."

"Would you two like to go outside and maybe have ourselves a little bonfire? Toast some marshmallows?"

"That sounds awesome."

"I don't know if anyone else is coming over today, but you missed out on Jeff and Delilah, Shannon."

"Jeez, was I really out that long?"

"I didn't want to wake you up, I thought you would be in a mood with me if I did."

"Well, they'll be back tomorrow, right? For your birthday?"

"I think so, I was asleep when they left."

"I'll see them tomorrow, no biggie."

"Well, that's if they're here tomorrow, Jeff made plans and I'm fairly certain they both forgot. But it's not a big deal."

"I don't think they forgot. Probably just working on a surprise."

"Oh hell no, I'm not good with surprises, I get all punchy."

"Please don't get punchy."

"I can't help it, a sudden shock to my system and my fists become faster than my brain."

"Then I'll tell them to make it a gradual surprise… if they were surprising you, that is."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

"We should head out now, it will mean we can get the fire going sooner and lay out there for longer, maybe even stargaze."

"Ooh, that sounds awesome!"

"Me and dad used to lay outside on a picnic blanket when I was young." Kirby murmurs as she gets up, putting on a jumper-dress and heading down to the back door.

Helms and Shannon each hustle to get dressed for the cold as they follow her.

"There's a couple tapes from before I was adopted where I was at bonfires with my parents and transfixed by the fire."

"And you haven't shown me yet?" Helms smiles.

"I don't know where they are."

"Probably somewhere in the attic."

"We'll find the tapes eventually, probably after I give birth though."

"I bet my buttons Lilith is gonna look just like you did as a baby."

"She might, then again, she might look like you did as a baby."

"Oof, I hope not," Shannon laughs, "I saw his baby pictures. His lips look cute now, but they were literally the same size as a baby."

"You've seen his baby pictures?!" She squeaks.

"Well, yeah. They used to be hung up everywhere around his parent's place."

"I swear I will break into your parents house just to see pictures of you as a baby, mon mari."

"They're not there anymore," he shrugs, "They replaced them all. With pictures of my brother. After… you know."

"Jesus, I just wanna strangle your mother, it's what the bitch deserves."

"She lost a kid," Helms sighs, "her first kid. Wouldn't you be crushed if we lost Lilith? Want to hang her picture everywhere, even if you couldn't afford new frames?"

"Shane, I wouldn't let it overshadow the fact I have more children, I wouldn't let it be the one thing that I constantly cling to as an excuse not to see my other children, I wouldn't kick my kids out for needing attention, I would protect and provide for my kids even if I go broke or die trying to protect them from the evil people in the world."

"You're a different person than my mother, then." He murmurs.

"I'm someone who doesn't call their kid a, I can't even bring myself to repeat what she called you, I love you, mon mari, I love you way more than your mother seems to, I would never hurt you or our kids, god forbid something bad happens to them, but I will carry on through thick and thin just to make sure my family is happy and together and I don't know how the fuck someone can kick their own child out after a mistake that your brother caused, because it wasn't your fault, it was his, Shane, he caused his own death, you are not to blame for it."

Helms goes a little quiet, drawing his knees up to his chest, "never thought about it that way…" he whispers, his voice hardly audible.

"Think about it, he made you drive him around at night when he knew you were inexperienced, he acted recklessly when he got in the car after his girlfriend broke up with him, which made you more nervous, his actions led to you being unable to stop the car from going off the road," Kirby explains softly, pulling Helms close to her, "it wasn't your fault."

He's trembling in her arms, burying his face in his knees, "dammit…" he whispers.

"Shh, you're okay, just breathe." She whispers, stroking his hair gently.

"I accepted it was my fault. I let myself accept it was my fault, cause that made how they treated me be okay. Made it make sense. But if it wasn't my fault, then they had no excuse. They just chose to hate me…" he mumbles, voice cracking.

"Shane, I love you, mon mari, but the way your parents acted makes them truly evil, but you don't have to talk to them, ever… you can just stay here with me and Shannon, and the Hardys and never speak to them again. They may have made you, but they didn't raise you, you raised yourself."

"Could you do it?" He mumbles, "Cut off your family like that? I know they hate me and mistreat me, but they were my family. Besides you guys, I don't have anyone else. No aunts, uncles, cousins, birth or adoptive or otherwise. I have you two, the Hardys and our future kids. It's… it feels really lonely in some way…"

"Shane, If I had grown up with my biological father being there every day, yelling at me all of the time, if I had grown up with my biological parents, I would have had a restraining order against them when I turned eighteen to protect myself from their torture of me."

"They may hate me, but I don't hate them. I can't hate them."

"Then don't cut them off, let your mother yell at you, let her call you a f-a-g, but I'm not sure I'll be able to control how I act if I hear her say anything I don't like."

"I get that." He chuckles softly, wiping at his eyes a little.

"I hope you won't hate me if I yell at your mother until she hangs up because she can't get a word in." She whispers, kissing his neck and sighing softly.

[fruitcoops]

Omg can you write about coops going live on instagram and answering TONS of fans questions? And just being domestic and cute together in general

I can, yes! This is partially the 450 celebration--to the lovely person who suggested writing a sequel to one of my favorites, please know that I love and appreciate you! Coop credit goes to @lumosinlove

Check out Part 1 here

“Is it working? I think it’s working.” An explosion of hearts covered the screen and Remus’ eyebrows rose. “Yep, definitely working. Hello, Instagram! I’m Remus Lupin, winger for the Lions.”

“And I’m Sirius Black, center and team captain.” Sirius waved at the phone. “We had a great time answering your questions last month and we figured we’d come back to do it again, since there were so many people we couldn’t get around to in those few minutes.”

“I can already see a bunch coming in. Should we start?” Remus asked, turning to him with a small smile.

“You go first.”

“Alright, first question….” He squinted at the screen. “How long have we been together? We’ve been dating for just over a year now, but we’ve known each other for three-ish.”

Sirius snorted when he read the next question. “What do we do in our free time? It’s cute that you think we have free time. Um, we read a lot. Sometimes I’ll play video games with the guys.”

“If we have a free weekend, we’ll go hiking or take a short road trip. Practice takes up four or five hours a day, so we’re very low-key, which I think surprises people.” Remus scrolled down a bit. “What are our favorite foods?”

“Don’t say it.” Sirius said immediately. “Don’t you dare.”

“Fine, fine.” Just as Sirius began to answer, he coughed, “pineapple pizza.”

“No!” Sirius smacked Remus on the arm with a pillow as he laughed. “Menace. My favorite food is pasta, because it’s versatile and I’m not a heathen. All of you who are agreeing with him, stop it right now. I’m very disappointed in your tastebuds. Next question…do either of us cook? We do, yeah.”

Remus gave him a look. “Do you, though?”

“That’s a funny thing to hear coming from the man who said he’d die for one of my grilled cheeses yesterday,” Sirius countered.

“Fair point. Yes, we both cook, but I generally do it more often because I enjoy it.”

Sirius looked back at the camera with sad eyes. “He kicked me out of the kitchen last week.”

“You kept stealing bites of soup!” Remus laughed. “It wasn’t even done, you could have gotten salmonella!”

“You can’t get salmonella from soup,” Sirius scoffed. The comment section went wild. “…apparently you can. Huh.”

“Next question, before we get too off-track. Who is the more dramatic one?” Remus folded his hands and rested his chin on top. “I’m giving you three guesses and the first two don’t count.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “You’re plenty dramatic.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“Moving on! Oooo, this one is for me specifically.” He shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Remus’ waist as he read. “Sirius: does Regulus—you spelled that wrong by the way, there’s only one ‘g’—does Regulus still live with you? If yes, how does that work?”

“I’m telling him someone spelled his name wrong,” Remus said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “He’ll get a kick out of it.”

“He’ll be so pissed,” Sirius agreed. “Nope, Reg moved out a few months ago and now lives with Pascal Dumais, but it was really neat to have him around. He’s still got a room here and it was nice spending so much time with him after we didn’t talk for a while. He’s awful about vacuuming, though.”

“Aw, people think that’s cute.” Remus smiled as he read the responses. “Ohoho, people are getting nosy. What do we argue about the most?”

“I’m not sure, actually. Maybe chores?”

“I was going to say practice time. We’ve gotten into a couple tiffs about watching tape or running drills after we get home.”

“That’s true.” Sirius frowned at the screen. “For those of you who apparently think that’s all one-sided: it’s really not.”

“He came downstairs to get me at ten or eleven at night the other day. We’re both hockey nerds, so it happens from time to time.”

“Are we going to keep doing tiktoks? Oh, for sure, they’re a ton of fun.”

“Absolutely. Where else am I going to get the inspiration to glue things shut just to irritate him?”

Sirius shook his head with a smile. “Diablotin.”

“Nothing like being called a gremlin by your fiancé,” Remus laughed, tapping the screen. “Okay…who’s the best in bed?”

“I’d say we both sleep really well,” Sirius said. “You talk sometimes, which is really funny.”

Remus glanced over. “Do I really?”

“Yep. I think you were grocery shopping the other night. You kept saying orange juice very adamantly.”

“Interesting. I agree, though, we both value sleep.”

“There are too many questions!” Sirius scooted forward and sifted through them. “To jay-mac 2001, we both love kids and might have some in a few years. No, mermaid queen, we don’t really have friends outside of hockey because we don’t have lives outside of hockey—” Remus leaned his forehead on Sirius’ shoulder as he laughed. “—but I’m sure that will change someday. Oh, here’s a fun one: what are our love languages?”

“Our what?”

“Love languages. Like the Buzzfeed quiz Pots made us take last week.” The screen lit up and Sirius looked offended. “Of course we know what Buzzfeed is! We’re 25, you fuckers!”

“I think mine was quality time.”

Sirius pulled Remus’ arm further around his shoulders and leaned into his side with a smile. “It’s physical affection,” he singsonged, making him laugh. “Your turn.”

“Have you finally found your song?” Remus read aloud. “I think so! We did an interview a while back and there was a question about our ‘couple song’, which we didn’t have at the time.”

“That didn’t answer the question, sweetheart.”

“Oh! Shit, sorry. It’s La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf.”

Sirius read the next question and snorted. “This is convenient. Who swears more?”

Remus looked away. “It’s, uh, a tie.”

“That’s such a lie.”

He sighed. “It’s probably me.”

“You taught a literal baby to swear.” Sirius turned back to the camera with a wicked grin. “Harry’s first word was ‘Loops’, but his second was ‘shit’ and there’s an eighty percent chance he learned it from Re.”

“Changing the subject!” Remus cleared his throat, then smiled. “Aw, I like this one. What’s the compliment you get most often from your partner?”

“Does it have to be verbal?”

“Sirius.”

Sirius’ eyes went wide. “Not like that! Oh, fuck, I did not mean that! You always touch my hair, so I figured that was a compliment. Merde.”

Remus shook his head. “We need a supervisor again. Anyways, you talk about my freckles all the time and it’s adorable.”

“You’re adorable.”

“Sap.”

“Yeah.” Sirius kissed his cheek. “What’s the best date I’ve ever been on? We went ice skating at the local rink a few weeks ago and it was so much fun. I had never done that before.”

Remus’ eyebrows rose. “I thought for sure you would say the aquarium.”

“The aqu—oh, right! With the jellyfish arch!”

“Yeah!”

“Now it’s a tie, I can’t decide.”

“That’s fair. From spaceman93: who tops? We actually don’t have a bunk bed, though that would be cool as hell! Do you think Ikea sells them?”

“We should check.”

The screen exploded into activity again and Remus did a double-take. “Yes, we do buy our furniture from Ikea, there’s no need to sound so shocked. This person—I can’t read your username, sorry—wants to know which of us is more cuddly.”

“Definitely me,” Sirius said.

“For sure. I like cuddling people, but only a select few. I mean, I’m assuming you guys saw the Cap cuddles slideshow at our last game.” He laughed when Sirius turned pink. “Why are you embarrassed? It was cute!”

“There’s a hashtag now!” Sirius complained. “I have a reputation.” Remus rolled his eyes fondly as Sirius looked for the next question. “Ha! Do we ever get jealous?”

“Yes, but not for the reasons people might think.”

Sirius laughed quietly. “We went out to a bar for Kasey’s birthday a month or so ago—”

“Oh, please no.”

“—and a young lady was hitting on me, not taking the hint—”

“Jesus.”

“—so Re comes out of nowhere and kisses me full on the mouth in front of everyone.” He snickered and Remus hid his face in his hands. “It was kinda hot, not gonna lie. Really funny looking back, though. Your turn, sweetheart.”

“Who is clumsier? Ooh, we’re both disasters off the ice. I tripped over the carpet about twenty minutes ago.”

“I’ve run into every doorframe in this house at least twice.” Sirius grimaced. “If I could just tape my skates to my feet and always be on ice, that would be much safer.”

Remus cocked his head to the side. “I dunno, it would be hard to sleep in them.”

“I do that all that time.”

“That’s true, you take a nap in the hall at least once a week in full gear.”

“Reverse Edward Scissorhands.” They had to take a moment to stop laughing before Sirius turned back to the phone. “Mon dieu. Alright, what do we have next…when did you know I was ‘the one’? When did you know, mon amour?”

“Breaking out the nicknames, very snazzy,” Remus teased as he rested his chin on his hand. “I think it was just an accumulation of things, and then one day I went ‘oh shit’ and just knew. Sometime around New Year’s, maybe?”

“You only made it two months?” Sirius teased, nudging him lightly.

“Shush, you.” Remus nudged him back. “I knew I wanted to propose when I came home from hanging out with Leo and you were napping with the dog. You had done the dishes and left Avatar on so we could watch it together, and I opened the door and knew that I wanted that moment forever.”

Sirius smile was unbearably soft, and he kissed Remus on the cheek as hearts filled the comments section. “I’ve never seen so many keysmashes in my life,” he laughed when he looked back to it. “Hey, someone addressed one to you specifically.”

“Really?” He leaned forward eagerly. “To Remus, do you feel like part of the team yet? I do, a hundred percent! It helped that I was close with a lot of the guys from being the PT, so those friendships carried over really well. Being a player on the roster has only made that better and it’s the best job in the world.”

“Who has the better smile? We’re going to say each other, so I think we’ll leave that one to the comments—fuck, that was a bad idea, it’s moving too fast for me to read!” Sirius tapped the screen desperately, then gave up and waited for the scrolling to slow down. “Ask each other one question you’ve always wanted to know the answer to.”

“Do you actually want to get your ears pierced?” Remus asked. “You talked about it a while ago but I wasn’t sure if you were kidding.”

Sirius thought for a minute, biting his lip. “Y’know, I might. It was one of those things where it started as a joke and then I kept thinking about it. I’m not sure, hockey’s not the best sport to have things that can catch and tear.” They both winced at the idea. “My turn. What is it about pineapple pizza that you actually enjoy?”

“It annoys you.” Remus laughed as Sirius rolled his eyes. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I honestly don’t know why I like it so much. There’s something about the sweetness that goes so well with the regular pizza taste. Okay, last question for me: how many freckles do I have? Not many right now.”

“So many in the summer,” Sirius said dreamily. “That’s the best part of summertime and the only reason I like Florida. They might have bouncy ice, but it’s worth it to see the freckles pop.”

“Whew, Florida’s getting mad in the comments!” Remus grinned. “Get some real ice, then come talk to us.”

“Final question, then we really have to go. What does your partner look best in?” Sirius drummed his fingers on his knees. “His jersey. Or my jersey. He does own a pair of skinny jeans, though, and that was the closest thing to a religious experience I’ve ever had.”

“They’re comfortable.” Remus shrugged, but he looked rather self-satisfied. “That’s all we have time for, folks, but thanks for joining us!”

“Go Lions!”

[backseatloversz]

if i have learned Anything from simply Watching Movies for many months its that u cant watch Anything popular w/o knowing at least one person who worked on it from something else. once u've watched enough popular stuff its Impossible they just Hire The Same People All The Time. which isnt always bad i mean a lot of ppl are popular for a reason but anyway i just saw the name richard linklater and was like whys that familiar that is so familiar. so i looked him up and learned hes directed like five films starring ethan hawke including tape (2001) which also stars rsl both of whom starred in dead poets society together and. you know that ""i wish there were a dps that wasnt so sad" um there is its called school of rock" post yeah Guess Who Directed School Of Rock. i love learning i love Basic One-Google-Search Information i am going to be so annoying about this

[wrestlingwithhistory]

Why do I like Pro Wrestling?

Even though I’ve put a few posts up on the page already I wanted to introduce myself a little and break down why I’m doing this and give a bit of history about me and why I like pro wrestling.

My name is Kyle, I’m 33 from South Wales, I am married with 2 children. I first started watching wrestling when I was about 7 which I will go into as we go through the post. I started this blog for 2 reasons.

1.     I love stories about pro-wrestling and wrestling itself.

2.     I am starting a creative writing course and want to keep on top of writing so that I am comfortable with writing as I haven’t done it since I was in school.

Now, there are a million stories from Pro Wrestling that you’ve heard from the Benoit Murders to The Montreal Screwjob to The Plane Ride from Hell, but I have an interest in writing about the stories that people are maybe not as aware of that still involve some of the biggest names in Wrestling history.

Nowadays, we can be thankful as wrestling fans that we have a multitude of ways that we could watch wrestling thanks to the rise of streaming sites, Youtube and online stores which you can buy DVD’s or digital copies of your favourite events. Being a child of the 90’s, you would stumble across wrestling almost out of nowhere. I remember being in my grandparents’ house maybe aged 5 or 6. I never had satellite or cable TV growing up, only terrestrial, and coming in one morning and seeing Hulk Hogan on the TV in my grandparents’ house really caught my attention. I couldn’t tell you what show it was or who else was on it, but I remember as I watched Hogan, waving his arms to the crowd and cupping his ears to the Hulkamaniacs as he did throughout his career, that I held a curiosity toward wrestling and did ever since.

I can then remember a few years later one of my best friends growing up had a video at home which on the cover, a man would be fighting himself! Undertaker vs Undertaker. Back then, it was the most amazing thing possible, the mystery of how a wrestler could square off against himself in the ring was unimaginable for a then 7–8-year-old. Of course, that event being Summerslam 94 would not be the great event you look back on, but you appreciate the spectacle of it. I do look back fondly on that VHS and as I watch the event back, the standout match-up is clearly the Owen Hart vs Bret Hart Steel cage match, but it’s not the type of thing you value as a child.

You value spectacle. You value entertainment. At least I did anyway. You treat it the same way you treat a cartoon or movie, you suspend your disbelief for a few moments and take in the pageantry of it all. Some people class Wrestling as 3rd hand entertainment, and I have had many occasions where people have made jokes of the fact I watch wrestling, to the point where I would not even mention it if asked.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to not care and be happy with the fact I like it so much. It’s not a guilty pleasure, It’s just a pleasure. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve also embraced less of the spectacle side of it I once did and look at the athletic feats that take place in the ring, focusing on the technique that these men have to make it look as dangerous as possible, all the while keeping their opponent safe. I do still appreciate the entertainment value, but I definitely look at things like the work rate of the competitors and what they are capable of.

During my teens, we used to travel to video store not too far away from us in a town called Bargoed. Global Video was one of the first places to stock ECW VHS cassettes. My friends Daniel, Josh and I would go there, pick out a few VHS and go back to Josh’s room to watch them. One of the first ones I can remember watching was Living Dangerously 1999. For its time, the pacing and the layout of the matches were a perfect fit for that show. I remember thoroughly enjoying Tajiri vs Super Crazy, Sid and Spike Dudley vs The Dudley Boyz and also New Jack vs Mustafa which was enough violence for a teenage to endure at that point.

The one match from that event which today I place in my top 10 matches ever is Rob Van Dam vs Jerry Lynn for the TV Title. Watching the opening exchange between the two men figure each other out, reversals of pins, hammerlocks and wristlocks was fantastic and when they separated and looked at each other, it was rapturous. The crowd ate it up. You could tell something special was taking place. As the match continued, I saw things that I never would have seen on WWF during that time realistically speaking. There was a reason the E stood for Extreme in ECW. They always took things to the next level, and while the TV Title was far from being the most brutal match on the card (in part due to New Jack!) it was creative in the way it structured the use of weapons, tablet spots and fighting outside the ring. When the bell rings at the end for a timer limit draw, as a first-time viewer you feel almost cheated, not by the quality of the match but by the fact it could have gone on for another 30 mins. When Jerry Lynn requests 5 more minutes and is granted it, you think you are in for a Jerry Lynn victory but RVD pulls it out of the bag at the end hitting the 5-star Frog Splash. And great ending to a great match.

Throughout this time the Attitude era was in full affect. WWF had a huge roster of stars that any company would have been proud to have, Stone-Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle. It was a pleasure to watch some of these events. My friend Michael would record Raw and later Smackdown and let us borrow the tapes so we could get our fix. In January 2000, Channel 4 had gotten a deal to show a few WWF Pay-per-views for free starting with the Royal Rumble. I stayed at Daniel’s house and we watched it live on a small TV. We were extra excited that Taz showed up on the event to face Kurt Angle with an extra ‘Z’ in his name, especially after find ECW a few months previous. Add to that the shock factor of Mae Young’s striptease, the Rumble result, the street fight between Cactus Jack and Triple H, the tables match between the Dudleys and Hardys, it was a phenomenal show.

With the events now being on Channel 4, I would look eagerly on internet forums during school hours trying to find out which ones were next. I remember staying up and watching Backlash 2000 and Fully Loaded of that year, also recording them to go back and watch and study the matches. I would cover the back of the VHS case with white stickers and write the match card on the back in order, so I knew where to find my favourites. They also stared showing Sunday Night Heat as well, which I later years would also have an RVD vs Jerry Lynn match up but not at the same quality as the ECW Event the years previous. These events on Channel 4 ended with the Invasion PPV in 2001 after WWE bought WCW and ECW acquiring many, but not all of their top stars.

Tying this in with Video games like WWF Attitude, Smackdown, WCW/NWO Revenge, WCW Mayhem it helped nurture my love for it even more especially WWE Smackdown 2: Know Your Role because you can create your own shows, wrestlers and storylines. We would have nights playing the game having Royal Rumbles and tournaments, finding how to create wrestlers from online forums like CAWs.ws.

My friend Daniel got the internet at home and we would spend hours searching Kazaa for wrestling videos we couldn’t find on VHS, in-between searching for Create-a-Wrestler guides for Smackdown games. They would usually be the Music Video highlight reels of matches we would want to see. Being early 2000’s it was usually set to Creed, Godsmack or Limp Bizkit but it would be things like Sabu vs RVD in a stretcher match, seeing Goldberg jackhammer The Giant/Big Show, and whatever we could find of these old matches you would read about in Power Slam magazine like the Exploding Barb Wire matches involving Mick Foley, Terry Funk and Onita.

A few years later, with the introduction of freeview satellite there was now more channels in homes than before and one of those was The Wrestling Channel. I turned it to this station thinking it would be WWE but was amazed to see companies more similar to ECW. US Promotions Ring of Honor, Combat Zone Wrestling, TNA/NWA and a few smaller based promotions were present as well as a mix of local British talent. It was on this channel that I first saw a match that involved light tubes, obviously CZW. Although not my favourite style, death matches certainly have a car crash factor to them. You know something gruesome is going to happen, but you can’t look away. But on the opposite of that, with ROH you got to see unbelievable work rate wrestling with the likes of CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Bryan Danielson and Low Ki and with TNA similar talents but with more professional looking, AJ Styles, Teddy Hart and Jeff Jarrett being stars that shone there.

Getting to see high flying stars like Amazing Red, Jack Evans, Teddy Hart, AJ Styles was enthralling. It was a side of pro wrestling you never saw on the more methodical WWE and I would watch whenever possible but still getting my WWE fix via VHS recordings Michael would lend us, especially as some of our favourites from ECW and WCW were now competing there.

From around 2006, I began to wane off watching Wrestling as often. I was playing in a band and focusing on that was well as starting a relationship with my now wife. My band mates Lloyd and Ryan were into Wrestling, so I used to and still do talk to them about it now and then. We used to go to local wrestling shows in Merthyr Tydfil for Celtic Wrestling. Back then, they were just Joe Nobodies wrestling in a bar, but as I look back over many of the people on that show, they have foundations on Wrestling all over the world.

A list of some of the names I got to see in Merthyr Tydfil; Sheamus – Now WWE, Steve Corino – ECW Legend, Zack Sabre Jr – Current New Japan star, Tracy Smothers – Wrestling Journeyman passed away in 2020. I remember seeing Tracy Smothers and I was a fan from ECW when he was with FBI and he was great and a nice guy after the show too. The fact that someone who was wrestled for WWE, ECW and WCW was in Merthyr wrestling, to me was mind-blowing!

A few months later I found out they were doing Wrestling training at The Studio Bar in Merthyr in around 2008 (could be way off), so I went along. I didn’t tell anyone, I got dressed in football gear and told my girlfriend Sara I was off to play football. Instead, I went into this bar and rolled around on some mats for beginner lessons on a Wednesday learning basic holds and how to bump. I really enjoyed it and it was better than bumping on the grass like I used to do as a kid in my local park. I went twice in all, as much as I wanted to go back and keep going, I was thinking that playing music would be easier to justify to someone than saying you were a wrestler so that was that.

I always kept an eye on wrestling but not as intently as I did before, maybe it was my way of disconnecting from wanting to do it as much as I did. I would watch the odd Raw or Smackdown and just buy the Big 4 Pay-per-Views and this went on for close on 8 years, just dipping in and out casually but still knowing who was in the business and doing things else were. We still had TNA in the UK so getting to see that was great, especially with the talent they had there for a while.

It wasn’t until 2016 I started to get back into wrestling as much as I do now. AJ Styles had finally joined WWE after seeming he would never appear there and that interested me because AJ is probably one of my favourites of all time. Twitter was blowing up because of a match between Will Ospreay and Ricochet in the Best of Super Juniors during that year. Seeing mostly positive comments and the odd one or two negative comments from old school wrestlers. So, I clicked on a then Youtube video of the match and it was such a great match. I felt the buzz straight away and immediately started to get the itch back for watching wrestling again.

I had no experience of much Japanese wrestling, but I always enjoyed reading in magazines about people like Jyushin Thuder Liger and The Great Muta and seeing their matches on WCW years ago, as well as people like Taka Michinoku and Tajiri but the Ospreay-Ricochet match convinced me to sign up to NJPW World. That summer I followed the G1 closely. Bullet Club madness was in full effect, seeing the iconic t-shirts and the way they were in the ring were similar to NWO, almost too much to a fault. I didn’t really know any of the performers in the tournament but after watching matches, would go back through the New Japan archives and watch the matches of Okada, Tanahashi, Naito, Shibata and the others, getting to know their styles and gimmicks.

One that immediately jumped out to me was Kenny Omega. He was one of 4 non-Japanese wrestlers (Gaijin) in the whole tournament. I learned that he had turned on AJ Styles and took over as leader of Bullet Club. I went back and watched AJ’s final matches against Nakamura at Wrestle Kingdom 10, and then the tag match the following night between AJ and Kenny vs Nakamura and Yoshi-Hashi. I followed Kenny closely over the G1 and into the finals against Hirooki Goto which was an absolutely brilliant match. Omega ended up winning, going onto Wrestle Kingdom 11 to face Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. I checked my work diary to see if I had work that day, and I was off! Due to the time differences, I was able to catch some of the pre-show in the morning, drop my oldest daughter off to school and come back in time for the Naito-Tanahashi and Omega-Okada matches.

I got back and watched the Naito-Tanahashi match, a really fantastic match to which I remember saying to myself ‘the main event is going to need to be special to top that’. Cue watching my personal favourite match of all time. The pacing and the psychology of the match were so well done, Omega targeting Okada’s back ready for the One-Winged Angel but never getting to hit it through the match. The springboard moonsault to the outside over the guard rails, the Tope Con Hilo over the top which still holds one of the iconic images of the match as a whole, Okada’s resilience as a champion, back dropping Omega over the top rope to the outside through a table. It was and is incredible, debatably one of the greatest matches of all time. Not just in my opinion but for many others as well. And so, I was back in. From that point onwards, I was an ardent fan once again. I would use the archives of WWE Network, NJPW World, Youtube, Highspots Wrestling Network to feed my addiction, following twitter pages which is just GIF after GIF of just the craziest moves.

I would try and watch as many of the live shows in Japan as possible to watch Omega perform and throughout 2017, even though it probably could have been savoured a bit more, we got to see 2 more amazing Omega-Okada matches at both Dominion and G1 and also a lead to Omega-Jericho for WK12. Both my current favourite and my all-time favourite meeting for the first time for a great match. From a Kenny standard it was not as good as some of his previous but for Jericho it was probably one of his best even compared against some of his classics against the likes of Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit.

In the Summer of 2018, I watched the Dominion show where again Kenny Omega went up against Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight championship. It was a 2 out of 3 falls match with no time limit. I couldn’t get the time off work for the event so I managed to smuggle my phone into work and would watch intently while selling mobile phones. It was another amazing match up, but I had to watch it over again after finishing work so that I could experience with sound, but even on silent, you could feel how brilliant the match was and Kenny finally defeated Okada for the title. Even though Kenny won it, I much preferred him fighting from beneath, almost as if achieving the pinnacle of wrestling was never going to happen. Even though he had a good handful of matches as champion, the ensuing AEW venture obviously scrapped any possibility of a long-term reign. Also disappointing to see New Japan miss a trick by letting Ibushi win the G1 and then the title from Kenny at WK13, instead vying for Tanahashi who, for as great a performer as he is, was not in his prime and the story between Ibushi-Omega would have been concluded or at least cliffhung until a later date. That aside, the show killed. It was amazing, but you could see the writing was on the wall in terms of Omega, the Young Bucks, Adam Page leaving to start AEW in 2019.

That kind of takes it up to current day, or at least as close to it as possible. It was possibly a long-winded diatribe of saying ‘Yeah, I like Wrestling’ but I hope it helps people to understand what drives me to write about it, why I enjoy watching this often joked about form of entertainment and why I think people could probably appreciate it more.

My messages are open if anyone wants to ask me any questions about wrestling or share stories about your own experiences, favourite matches or even stories that you would like me to cover, and I will try and find something to contribute to the page if possible.

Please read through the posts, like and share if you enjoy and leave comments if you wish to appreciate, critique or contribute towards the stories if you know anything I may have missed out.

Thanks!

[takatofan]

20 Years of Digimon - for me.

I was introduced to Digimon late in the game. I was a pokemon fan first. My cousin twisted my arm to watch Digimon. I resisted for a long time. But sometime in the middle of summer 2001, I gave in. I very quickly became a bigger Digimon fan than even my cousin was. Even though I was just seeing random episodes of 02.

Just when I was getting familiar with everything, Tamers started. Tamers was such a different thing - in a good way. I understand why some didn’t like it, but I loved the slow build. Some of the eps in Tamers where nothing happened - or next to nothing happened - are some of my favorites. I related to - and still relate to Takato SO MUCH. I was just an average kid. (Though Takato had more friends than me.) Just the biggest fanboy making fan art. (I was writing fan fiction before I knew it had a name.)

Really, I see pieces of myself in all the Tamers cast. Except I guess Ryo and Suzie. (But I still like Ryo, even if I can’t relate).

I remember in September renting Digimon: The Movie for the first time. Loved every second of it, though the middle part, Our War Game, is by far the best. I also loved the soundtrack. Still listen to them all to this day, occasionally. (BTW If you are reading this and didn’t know, the dub version of Matt’s song from the TV show, “I Turn Around” that was used in the Christmas ep and one other, is on youtube in full!)

The next spring ABC family started showing reruns and that’s how I got to see Adventure and 02 from start to finish.

Once in early 2002, I got a Saturday detention, and missing Tamers was the worst punishment I could ever have!!! (Glad the VCR didn’t fail...)

Another Saturday I worked (Started working when I was 15) and I worked with my sister, who had her own house. So I recorded the two new eps, 28 and 29, at her house. When we came home, she went in the other room, and I watched the eps. Now, I had been trying to convince people Digimon wasn’t ‘just a kids show’ that it was deeper than you’d think. She could have came back in the room when they were talking about being lost... no. She could have came back in the room when Takato was reading the letter from his mom... no. She came back in the room, just as Calumon started to sing “I was having a yucky day but now WOO HOO I get to play! Other Digimon were so mean, the nastiest you’ve ever seen! .... “ I was SO embarrassed!!! Of all the scenes XD. I do love that scene but when you are trying to convince people it’s deeper than it seems, that’s NOT the scene you want them to see!

I did give Frontier a chance - and several chances since then - But I just can’t get into it. Ironically, “FIRE!!” and “Innocent” by Wada Kouji continue to be my favorite Japanese themes, and hearing them take me right back to the summer of 2002.

I could go on and talk in depth about every single experience I had with Digimon... (And I want to! I already skipped great memories.) But I figure no one wants to hear all that, but here’s the short version of the rest:

I never had a lot of friends, and Digimon made me so many friends. I made a great friend in another state that I would actually buy phone cards and CALL and talk to for hours! Shortly before we lost touch, I made another amazing friend and that friendship lasted 5 years or so. (Though we are still friends, not as close as we used to be.) A year later, I made another friend who is STILL my best friend! I have an amazing artist friend that I used to do art trades with, and I still feel so lucky that this amazing artist wanted to trade with me. :) (And we still are friends!) But in 2009, I met my boyfriend, which we are still together. He had his arm twisted to watch Digimon too. But we started talking and we got together. It’s been 12 years, and I am so happy with him. :) He lives in Germany (I’m in the US) and I’ve flown there to see him 4 times, and he’s flown here many more. Long distance is hard but we make it work, and it’s worth it for us. Never would have happened without Digimon.

So many more memories I feel bad not typing... okay here’s one anyway - I looked all over for a D-Ark when they came out and I only ever saw ONE in a store. THE ONE I BOUGHT!!!! :D. - But I dunno where I’d be without Digimon. I feel weird saying that because it’s “Just a TV show” but... Digimon got me to join message boards and write fan fiction. If I stayed with Pokemon I’m not sure I would have ever gotten into the fandom. I looked at fan sites and stuff with Pokemon but I never got involved. I don’t think that I would have even become an anime fan with Pokemon. - Especially since I didn’t get the WB where I was. I could only see Pokemon on the VHS tapes I bought cheaply at Odd Lots (Later Big Lots), or a local Fox station playing them at 6 AM (Which when I was in Junior High I got up earlier than I had to to watch it...). But watching Digimon on ABC family led to Beyblade, and talking to the friend I called led to Yu-Gi-Oh! (Which I also had to wait until Cartoon Network reran) which led to Megas XLR (I know that was US but it was anime style so that helped) Which led to Adult Swim, and before you know it, I’m an anime fan!

(And for the record since I didn’t mention: I do love Savers/Data Squad and LOVE Applimon! That was SO much better than expected!)

Thanks for the memories Digimon, and all the friends I’ve had along the way. :).

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #4: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” October 14, 2001 - 11:00 PM | S01E04

Two moon guys come down to earth and act like dicks in this SEMINAL-ASS Aqua Teen Hunger Force TV Episode. There are a handful of Adult Swim episodes that I loved so much and watched so much that I can barely watch them these days without it feeling like some weird out-of-reach facsimile of itself. I need to actively remind myself that this used to make me laugh uncontrollably until one day it’s effectiveness wore off thanks to repetition. With this episode Aqua Teen Hunger Force became truly awesome. This is also the first episode of the show to almost completely abandon it’s formula. Dr. Weird’s segment almost has nothing to do with the episode itself; The Mooninites are shown entering Earth’s atmosphere independently of Dr. Weird’s activities (rocking out with a wall of speakers). In fact, I didn’t even realize that the segment connected with the episode AT ALL until I sat down to write this review: we later find out the Mooninites have stolen Dr. Weird’s gear to give to shake to hush him up regarding their other petty crimes. I also believe there is no mention of the Aqua Teens being detectives. They are simply dealing with random aliens who’ve shown up to act like low-class dirtbags and be a bad influence on Meatwad. The Mooninites themselves are hilarious characters, and the voice of the green one (I know his name but I don’t feel like looking up how to spell it right now - SORRY). All they do is smoke and steal and flip birds. This was one of my few go-to episodes I’d show people to get them into Adult Swim. I had a tape that had this and the Feng Shui episode of Sealab on it that I’d sit many people down to force them to watch and appreciate. It usually worked. Anyway, this episode had a notable legacy because they did several Mooninites episodes after this, making them the most recurring guest characters of all. They tried to spin them off, but it didn’t work out so good. Hell, they were involved in a fucking bomb scare after a botched publicity stunt, for fuck’s sake (fun fact: I live two blocks away from a liquor store that has one of the Mooninite lite-brites from said incident! NEAT HUH?) MAIL BAG: shout out to the person who messaged me advising that I edit a previous bannable slur. I fixed it, and I’m hopefully safe. Here are some thoughts about Home Movies from Kon:

Some assorted thoughts on Home Movies UPN run: I actually watched almost the entire run of the show on UPN. I only missed one episode, The Art of the Sucker Punch, which is a pretty major episode in terms of character introductions. It's the first episode with Shannon, Walter and Perry, first time Duane has a speaking part. So I thought all those guys were invented just for Adult Swim (at least for the like two weeks before Adult Swim aired the UPN episodes)

Some major differences between Home Movies UPN run and Adult Swim run is that 1. the UPN ones are much more heavily improvised, and are in some ways funnier, and 2. not that Squigglevision ever looked great but the UPN run has much shittier animation. Some sort of Squiggietech breakthrough must have been discovered in 2000, shame they discontinued it right after. It would have been cool to get a full season of UPN-era Paula-starring improv-heavy episodes.

I do love the Adult Swim episodes though and I think the show retained its charm. For a long time, Director's Cut was my favorite episode of the series. That means for 4 out of the 6 shows on Adult Swim's premiere, the first episode I saw was my favorite (Sealab- Chickmate, Birdman- Bannon, Brak Show- War Next Door [saw this early at comic con]). I don't still think Director's Cut is the best Home Movies but for those other three, there's a solid argument to make for those first eps being best

One thing I’ve wanted to do with my currently-abandoned/notably-worse Simpsons blog is start reviewing mostly-90s cartoons that I deem “simpsons-esque” in some way; I just haven’t settled on a format yet. I think I will probably try to start that up relatively soon and have it include those UPN Home Movies (also pre-AS Space Ghost).

Anonymous writes:

Sorry I'm late on this one but I just had to tell you that I think the Marbles episode of Home Movies is really funny! Especially the song at the end which is a serious treat. Did you know that the episode was the inspiration for one of the most famous youtubers of all-time to call herself...Jenna Marbles. Awesome!

Wow. That IS awesome!

[wellntruly]

My brain has discovered the slow-release, long-acting serotonin fuzz of eschewing “good” (complicated) television for just mindlessly rewatching CSI, so that is all I’m doing now.

I have re-started at the beginning, and have now completed Season 1. Here are a baker’s dozen of observations.

1. When they were making the first handful of episodes they had a different idea of who Grissom was going to be, and then presumably got a note (execs? network? just realized William Petersen was better suited for a different energy?) and rather dramatically started changing course. Very early days Gil Grissom is outgoing and like, bouncy (weird), but most disturbingly: ~sexshual~. In ep 4 though, suddenly the impish flirty science kinkster is now being described as the voluntarily solitary oddball clinician that we know and love, Forensics George Smiley, and by the time we reach episode 6, the Grissom who just five eps earlier had smilingly told Catherine “I love my job” when Sara asked him to tape her up, now responds with only baffled repetitions when Catherine tries to euphemistically explain to him that her ex-husband (their suspect) likes it rough. A full about-face!

2. Also in episode 4, Greg Sanders makes his first proper reappearance since his pilot introduction talking about anal swabs and otherwise being weird in a lab, to be weird in a hallway while listening to an audiobook on DNA and, for a few chaotic seconds---

I believed possibly wearing Nick’s patterned olive shirt Sara made him change in the first scene

Luckily I spotted the pockets before I had to call the cops.

3. I gotta say though, the fact that it appears Nick/Warrick wasn’t even one of the most popular ships for this show is absolutely BAFFLING. The handsome mens cannot stop teasing on each other for one damn minute. They are constantly engaging in these all-consuming case competitions with one another, or as Tumblr might put it: Constructing Intricate Rituals. “I hate you,” Nick whisper scowls playfully at him in the break room. “You love me,” Warrick responds mildly and just as playfully, “Who you kidding.” In the next episode they literally end up fake married for a plot. “Sweetie” and “buttercup” Nick calls him during the crime scene reenactment; “my man” Warrick uses, and perhaps most enjoyably: “Yeah go ahead honey, save my life.” A++

4. And WHY didn’t Grissom end up with Terri the kind, cool-voiced bone lady?? I adore her

5. Catherine and Greg have a suggestive, seedy film noir banter dynamic I’m going to call Hot Dom Mom & the Embarrassing Sexbaby, and I can’t get enough of it. I must make clear that they would never-ever do anything, because I believe even Greg knows perfectly well that’s actually the opposite of the point: the utter safety of knowing it will neeeever come to anything is what makes it so enjoyable for both of them.

6. Cultural references I did not expect the first season of CSI to make: - Grissom describing running through what happened in literal time as “doing a Run Lola Run” - a direct homage to the shot of the bone arcing through the sky in 2001: A Space Odyssey - an extremely topical dimpled ballot/hanging chad joke from the 2000 presidential election, that indicates the full production turnaround time from writing a script to it airing on TV must have been less than three months

7. Jim Brass begins the season as a structural second-tier antagonist (he’s never as much an enemy as Ecklie), but he’s fully part of the gang by the time we hit episode 15 and he’s stealing bites of sea bass off Sara’s plate while out at lunch with Catherine and Nick, and ordering a tiramisu that comes in an oversized martini glass. Anyway I love him.

8. Meanwhile, it was episode 17 before it occurred to me that maybe part of the reason why I find this show to be the correct thing to be watching right now, is that everyone is always wearing gloves and lifting things with pens and overall being super über careful about touching things.

9. People who sometimes call Nick ‘Nicky’: Catherine, Grissom, Brass People whom I believe have so far only called him Nick: Warrick, Sara, Greg People who have called him ‘Nicholas’: me, Brass There is a consistent age divide here, and then whatever Brass & I are

10. I noticed two (2) split diopter shots in this season, and just gotta say: u pulp nerds

11. I noticed a Winnie the Pooh piggy bank in a nursery that I had in the 90s

12. I only noticed four episodes that I had no memory of at all, or possibly never saw in the reruns I was watching on Spike TV over a decade ago.

Nice, unfamiliar shots in these episodes occasionally make me feel like I’m watching a movie version of CSI that I never knew existed.

13. The music supervisor, if it is the same person across the series, decided that after six seasons they were allowed to start reusing songs. Namely:

- ‘Word Up’: a cover by Gun is playing in a strip club as Catherine talks to her old boss in 1x06, and then another cover by Willis is used while Hodges dances around waiting for a results print-out in 7x07 - ‘Danke Schoen’: plays in a specialty grocery store where Sara is posing as serial killer bait but only snags Rainn Wilson in 1x23, and is later sung acoustic by a Wayne Newton impersonator in a parking garage in 7x04

The required wait period for using another member of The Office cast was apparently less, as just four seasons elapsed after Creeper Rainn Wilson before they had John Krasinski play a stoner who just wants to go to dental school in season 5.

But we’re not there yet.

[eldritchsurveys]

977.

How old are you? >> 33.

Do you live in North America? >> Yes.

Do you love dogs? >> I do love dogs. I teeter on the fence constantly about whether I would actually want to take custody of one or not, though. What I truly want is a trained support dog -- not a full service dog, because I don’t need that level of assistance, but I guess “emotional support animal” is the term I’m looking for even though that’s gotten a bit fraught lately. Once I saw a video (which was weird to watch because it felt a bit voyeuristic, but hey) where a person was having a meltdown and the dog came and prevented them from harming themselves, and I think I could greatly benefit from that as opposed to having to hope that Can Calah (who has no real power over the body 99.8% of the time) can stop me.

Were you finished childhood and teens when Harry Potter movies came out? >> The first movie came out in 2001, which means I was 14 at the time.

Did you keep all your VHS tapes? >> I never had any.

Do you think Jack Nicholson is a good actor? >> I don’t have an opinion.

Have you ever watched an episode of “The Honeymooners”? >> I’ve watched a fair bit of it, because of the New Year’s marathons.

Have you ever owned a pair of high-top Converse? >> No, Converse shoes are uncomfortable for me.

Do you have rain boots with a cute pattern on them? >> No, I just have a pair with white polka dots because that was all I could find at the store at that time. I want to get a cute pair at some point but I keep forgetting (and I use them so infrequently that it doesn’t even seem to matter now -- snow boots are far more important here).

Would you rather eat an apple or an orange right now? >> Apple. We’re out of them, though.

Would you rather do a cartwheel on land or a backflip in water? >> I can’t do a backflip, anyway. So, cartwheel by default.

Have you ever performed on stage in front of people? >> Yeah, many times.

Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? >> I wanted to be the goths. Unfortunately, I had very little control over what I was allowed to wear, do, or listen to, so...

What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) >> Twin.

Do you eat foods from all 4 food groups everyday? >> No.

Would you rather watch a movie in theater or at home? >> Right now, at home 100%. Usually there will be a few movies that I would choose to see in-theater because I want the big-screen experience, and also because I like making An Event out of things sometimes by having to actually go out somewhere to experience them.

Do you prefer brown or white rice? >> I use white rice most often. I’m not sure if brown rice would taste the same in coconut rice (which is the kind of rice I eat most often)... should try it sometime just to see.

Do you like spaghetti? >> Not especially.

What about lasagna? >> It’s all right sometimes. I just don’t eat a lot of pasta, period.

Do you celebrate Christmas? >> Yes.

Is your Thanksgiving celebrated in October too? >> No, this country’s Thanksgiving is in November.

Do you like chocolate bars? >> Not usually.

what about ice cream? >> I don’t dislike ice cream as much as I just never have a taste for it (and I’m particular about flavour).

Have you ever been stung by anything?What was it? >> No.

Do you have GOD-GIVEN(not dyed) natural brown hair too? >> I do have natural brown hair.

Or were you born blonde? >> Not even close.

Have you found a gray hair on your head or body before? >> Yeah, I have several greys. I can’t wait to grow more, it’s my favourite hair colour.

Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? >> No.

Have you ever been screened for STDs? >> Yeah.

Are all your wisdom teeth pulled? >> No, I still have them all. The dentist suggested getting them pulled because one of them was starting to have an issue of some sort, but like... “starting to have an issue” (and only one of them, besides) isn’t enough motivation for me to get four whole teeth pulled.

Did you have your tonsils taken out? >> No.

Did you have your appendix taken out? >> No.

How many kidneys do you have?(have you donated one?) >> I haven’t donated a kidney.

Would you(to save someone)? >> If it was viable, sure, why not.

If you were dying of starvation, would you eat another human? >> I can’t imagine what it would be like to be starving, so I can’t rightly say what I would do. That sort of extreme survival situation turns you into a whole different person, I can’t speak for myself in that state until I actually know what it’s like. (I have no current moral objections to it, though, so I’m assuming I’d have less trouble eating a person than someone who finds it repugnant in normal circumstances.)

Have you ever found a bug or slug in your salad? >> No.

Do you like Harry Potter? >> I thought it was all right. I liked certain characters and plot concepts, specifically, and mostly ignored the rest of them (including... the main characters, lol). Now I have even less interest in it after watching JKR get radicalised in real time, not gonna lie. (Still reppin’ Slytherin from Malfoy Manor, though! :p)

What about Twilight? >> I never got into that, the first book bored me.

How do you feel about Lord of the rings? >> I think it’s an amazing and intricate and delightful story. But I didn’t read it, lmao. Too much book and far too much exposition in said book for my interests. The movies are what I’m into.

Are you going to see ‘The Hobbit’ when it comes out? >> I saw the whole trilogy. I never did get around to reading the book, but I’ll probably do so eventually (after my reread of Silmarillion, which comes first!).

Do you have a glass that says 'Molson Canadian’ on it? >> I don’t. I have a glass that says “Guinness” on it, though. And my name.

Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? >> No.

Would you rather have a white fridge or a black fridge or a stainless steel fridge? >> Black or stainless steel, I’m quite done with white fridges and I never want to see one again.

Do you have a wide foot or a narrow foot or just average? >> I assume my foot is average.

Do you bite your nails when you’re stressed? >> No, I’m a picker.

Do you have to take an allergy pill daily in order to live normally? >> No, I don’t have allergies.

Are you on the birth control pill? >> Yeah. It’s more like the dysphoria control pill, for me.

Or are you trying to get pregnant? >> I would never.

You’d rather wear black sneakers or sneakers in a bright color or pattern? >> Black, because they’d match with everything I have. I’m sometimes tempted to get funky sneakers but the novelty wears off so quickly.

Has anyone ever told you they were attracted to you? >> Sure.

Are you going to drink alcohol tonight? >> Most likely not. Also, I’m a day-drinker, not a night-drinker, because I don’t like things messing with my sleep.

Have you ever heard of the Canadian kids show called “Mr.Dressup”? >> No. But I’m so glad Lane got to take a survey that had Canadian stuff in it instead of being inundated with common USian bullshit for once xD

What about the kids show “Fred Penner’s Place”? >> ---

Did you hate Sesame Street when you were little too? >> I didn’t.

Were you born perfectly healthy or with some(or a lot) of health issues? >> I can’t recall having any health problems whatsoever as a child.

What are those 'said’ health issues? >> ---

Do you collect DVDs? >> No.

Do you download music? >> No.

Or do you still go to stores and buy CDs? >> I haven’t bought a CD in at least a decade.