#anyways i know the pics aren't that good but oh well

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Doodles!!

Especially love the mini sun with the staff

[luviemax]

karma! (begin again part 3)

a/n: last part maybe??? idk... anyway here's song inspo -> oscar piastri x female!reader, ex!carlos sainz x reader, reader doesn't have a faceclaim

warnings: for plot's sake let's just pretend the mclaren in the earlier part of the season wasn't garbage... major irl divergence ig, logan being soooo america luver, logan being a great wingman :), more plot than being a smau... be forwarned, lily erasure... i'm so sorry i love her, all pics frm pinterest

part one, part two

masterlist

"Are you sure you don't want to walk in with me?" Oscar asks you. Again. It's the weekend of the Miami Grand Prix, after the break following the Azerbaijan race. Oscar seems to be excited to get back on track, especially with you accompanying him to the race. "Oscar," you begin. "Yes?" he gives you a cheeky smile. "If you ask me one more time I think I might just smack you." "Noted." Oscar barely has time to respond before Logan is bursting through the doors of the hotel room.

"Home race baby!!!" Logan announces, plopping himself onto Oscar's unmade bed. "You seem to be..." You take a moment to find the words, "jubilant." "Hell yeah!" he smiles, "red white and blue baby!" Oscar simply gives him a brief glance with a quirked eyebrow over his shoulder. "Whatever. Let's get some lunch," Oscar grabs the keycard from the bedside table and opens the door for you, "ladies first." "What a gentleman," you tease as Logan follows closely behind you, "what're we eating?" "Burger," Logan states. There isn't any debate from you or Oscar, "but please don't tell my trainer..."

As the three of you approach the restaurant, Logan insists that you sit with Oscar, which is odd as he typically likes to sit next to you. Oscar told you that he had come clean to Logan about the whole fake-dating situation, and apparently, Logan had taken it quite well, and was completely on-board with the whole "get revenge against Carlos!!" campaign.

The three of you eat in a relative, comfortable silence. It's something that comes after so many years of friendship. "We better head to the paddock now." Oscar states, slapping his hands on his knees. "Roger that. See y'all on the paddock." Logan waves, making his way out. "Wait... how's he gonna get there? Didn't he come with us..?" You make a perplexed face at Oscar, eyebrows furrowing with concern. "Ah, it's fine," Oscar waves your concerns off, "don't worry yourself about him, love." For some reason, despite you swearing that you and Oscar's relationship was purely platonic, the pet name he'd used for you set ablaze a slow, yet surely burning flame in your stomach. Nevertheless, you just ignore your feelings, because the two of you are just friends, right?

logansargeant has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 93,194 others

logansargeant: home grand prix LET'S GOOOOOO!!!!

yourusername: good luck king -> oscarpiastri: what about me ☹️ -> yourusername: good luck oscar :) -> oscarpiastri: oh thanks!! -> logansargeant: please take this out of my comment section

user1: LOGAN WHO ARE THE PEOPLE ON THE SECOND SLIDE?? -> user2: he knows something we don't... -> user3: he knows something that we'll never know.... -> logansargeant liked a comment!

"Seriously? Are you kidding me?" your outrage is apparent from the tone in your voice. "I'm sorry ma'am. If your pass doesn't work, I can't let you in." The security guard gave you a pitiful, close lipped smile. "Okay then, that's fine." Perhaps a little too passive aggressively. Yes, you were frustrated. But then again, at least he's doing his job properly? You pulled out your phone from your bag, and dialled Oscar's number. Almost immediately, after 2 rings, he picks up the call. "Hey, what's up?" "They aren't letting me in. I think there's something wrong with the pass." You informed him, and you can hear a little shuffling from his end. "I'm on my way."

You let out a silent sigh of relief when you see Oscar's familar figure approaching the security guard. "Hey mate, I think there's been a misunderstanding. She's with me." Before the guard can even respond to Oscar, he gently grabs your hand, interlocks your fingers with yours, and taps his pass on the reader to let you into the paddock. As soon as the two of you step into the paddock, you hear the unmistakable click of cameras flashing. Fuck.

f1wagsupdates has posted!

13,345 likes

f1wagsupdates: McLaren driver, Oscar Piastri, is seen with longtime friend Y/N Y/L/N months after her split with Ferrari driver, Carlos Sainz! This is the first time we've seen Y/N on the paddock with Oscar. I suppose that the 'mystery man' in her soft launches on her instagram page is no longer a mystery!

user1: huhhh

user2: #unexpected

user3: isn't this kinda an invasion of privacy... -> yourusername liked this comment!

Carlos is fuming. He swears that he's about to combust. He was having a... decent day. He was starting at P3, which was somewhat decent. Could've been better, could've been worse. Then, he's scrolling through Instagram in his driver room, and the post he sees makes his stomach drop. How could you move on so quickly? Not only that, but shove it in his face too by coming to the paddock? It'd been short of 2 months since the two of you split. Yeah, maybe he'd moved on himself, but it wasn't the same. He'd been seeing the girl for something like 5 months now. Nevertheless, how could you have moved on so quickly? His mind was racing. It feels like salt in the wound when he sees the TV stream pane to you in the McLaren garage. Y/N Y/L/N, Oscar Piastri's partner. He feels rage churn in his stomach, how could Oscar steal what was his? But he no longer has time to muse. It's time to race.

"It's lights out and away we go at the Miami Grand Prix!" Crofty's voice filled the garage, the raw enthusiasm and passion in his voice made apparent from the volume of his voice. "Carlos Sainz gets off to a poor start!" Martin Brundle exclaims, a hint of a wince in his voice for what could've been, "Oscar Piastri, on the other hand, is absolutely flying! The rookie gets off to an excellent start, overtaking everyone, climbing to the 6th position! Ahead of him is Carlos Sainz, with the gap between them being 5 seconds."

Everything is relatively peaceful, up until lap 15. Max has worked himself up to the first position, and really, is anyone shocked? However, the gap between Carlos and Oscar becomes smaller and smaller, and truthfully, you're kind of nervous for the inevitable.

"And-" Crofty begins, "Oof!" Crofty and Brundle both wince at the same time. Audibly, there's a loud screech from Mark Webber in the background. "Oscar Piastri attempts to take the inside line but Carlos Sainz doesn't relent! And Sainz pushes Piastri into the gravel, and Piastri spins off the track into the barrier! That looks like race over for Piastri. The race stewards are now investigating the incident." "Are you ******* kidding me?" Oscar scoffs, bewilderment apparent in his voice through the radio. "What is this idiot trying to do?" Carlos yells over the radio, accent thick and upset.

Crofty's voice is drowned out by the sheer panic that you feel. Is Oscar okay? You attempt to ask the McLaren pit crew, but all of them seem too preoccupied with the recent news of the collision, and they look to be equally as preturbed as you. However, in a moment of pure relief, you see Oscar climbing out of the car, seeming unharmed. He gets into the Medical Car, presumably on the way back to the garage. A Safety Car is called to the rest of the remaining drivers. "And that is a 5 second penalty to Sainz, presumably served in the pits if Ferarri makes a good call." Brundle states, with a hint of sass in his voice. Obviously, he was quite tired of Ferarri's shennanigans.

You hold your breath as the Medical Car approaches the McLaren garage. Oscar climbs out, looking relatively unharmed. Only angry. He storms into the garage, rapidly approaching your direction. He grabs your arm and drags you into his Driver's Room.

"Oscar-" your worry is drowned out when he slams the door of his Driver's Room and presses his lips onto yours. The kiss is sudden. Rough. Angry, even. But Oscar's always been cool. Calm, even. But there's nothing cool or calm about this kiss. It's filled with fire and passion. It makes you flush and blood flows to your cheeks. When the two of you part, you're both breathing heavily, and he pulls you into his chest. His arms are warm and he swears that he was made to hold you. He drags you onto the sofa, and instinctively, you crave the warmth of his body and curl into his side, peering up at him, quite shyly.

"Hit your head too hard?" You tease, stroking his face gently with your fingers. "If anything, it only brought me to my senses," He strokes your hair, making you croon with satisfaction. The tone of the room begins to shift, "You were made for me, you know that?" You say nothing in retaliation. You're speechless, but not in a bad way. "When I spun out, I thought of you. Who takes care of Y/N if I get hurt?" Oscar muses, peering down at you lovingly. "Hmm... I think Logan wouldn't mind filling your shoes...." You tease. "Hey, I'll kick you out." Oscar retaliates, but begins talking seriously again, "Every day, I wake up, and my first thought is you." "Did you crash into Carlos as revenge for me?" You chuckle. "Hey, if anything, he crashed into me. I swear, he has a vendetta against me. But just so you know, I'd go down defending your honour." "So cheesy," you hum, running your fingers through the short strands of his hair, "If anything, I'd be mad too. You pried his girl from his hands and made her heart yours."

yourusername has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 528,103 others

yourusername: karma is the guy of my dreams coming straight home to me!!!

oscarpiastri: do you know that girl? she's so gorgeous -> yourusername: idk but that guy is really hot -> logansargeant: guys ur so gross (this is adorable i've been manifesting this since i was like 12)

landonorris: congrats on the catch oscarpiastri 😔 -> oscarpiastri: ikr

user1: HARDLAUNCCHHHHHHH

oscarpiastri has posted!

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 715,391 others

oscarpiastri: a dissapointing end to today's race, but at least i've got my girl with me <3

yourusername: oscar you're too sweet 😭 -> oscarpiastri: you're the best <3

logansargeant: ewwww (you guys are the most adorable couple i've ever seen) -> oscarpiastri liked this comment!

fredrickvesti: omg

logansargeant has posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 412,294 others

logansargeant: guys. i was literally MADE for this day. like. anyway... here's the compilation of pictures i've collected from over the years 😇

oscarpiastri: i had no idea you took these... -> logansargeant: of course you didn't you were too busy paying attention to her

yourusername: omg these are sooo cute -> logansargeant: ikr

user1: omg couple goals 😭

user2: sleeping on the street tonight.

user3: oscar and y/n please adopt me

private chat: carlos sainz:

carlos sainz: y/n, are you fucking serious????

you: she can't come to the phone right now. she's busy.

this contact has been blocked!

[resowrites]

A Day In May - oneshot.

Summary: It proves to be a birthday to remember for Henry and his wife…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, language, dialogue heavy, a couple of sensitive topics mentioned but no detail, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2992

A/N: Remember, this is pure fiction (as in completely made up) and not in any way meant to reflect reality. My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

A Day In May - oneshot.

"Good morning birthday boy!" Henry rolled onto his back, his eyes adjusting slowly to the early morning light.

"Mmm, g'morning… you're up early."

"Well, who was gunna make breakfast if we both slept in? I made you your favourites; pancakes, Belgian waffles, and pan aux raisin. There's even a little bowl of fruit for you to ignore…" He chuckled as he sat up and helped her guide the tray over his lap.

"Aren't you having any?" Her eyes quickly darted to the floor.

"Er, maybe later—"

"Oh no, don't tell me you're still not feeling the best?" She had in fact been sick all morning and had even used the downstairs toilet so as not to wake Henry up.

"I'm fine! I felt a little peaky when I first woke up but it's passed. Anyway, when you're finished, have a quick shower and come downstairs, there might be a gift or two waiting for you in the kitchen…" She shot him a wink while he guiltily sipped his coffee. Henry knew she'd already gone to great lengths to make his fortieth birthday a success. For weeks she'd been planning a huge party at their favourite private member's club in London. Everyone they knew was going to be there and it promised to be a night to remember.

"Are you sure you're alright though? I mean I know you've worked hard on today but we can always cancel and just spend the day together if you're not feeling the best?" She scoffed and waved a hand in the air.

"Nonsense, I'll be alright. There's no way I'm missing my old man's birthday! Tell me, seeing as I'm still the better part of a decade away from it, how does forty feel so far?" He responded to her smirk with one of his own.

"Why? Do I look forty?!" She pursed her lips, remaining silent as she plucked a couple of blueberries off the tray. "Oh my God, you cheeky cow!"

"What?! You're as handsome now as the day I met you…" Henry pulled her into a headlock.

"Hey! Let go, you're messing up my hair!" Suddenly her stomach churned and she felt her mouth moisten. Clearly, the fruit and the headlock had proved a mistake. She dashed to their ensuite bathroom with him throwing back the covers so he could run after her.

"Darling! Oh God… I'm so sorry. There we are, oh sweetheart…" She continued retching into the toilet bowl as Henry held her gathered hair on top of her head. When she was finished, he hoisted her up and sat her down carefully on the edge of the bath. "I think I'd better ring the doctor's, don't you?" She looked into Henry's panic-stricken eyes as he carefully rubbed the sides of her thighs.

"Darling, I'm really alright, it's just a virus. So long as I'm careful about what I eat and don't go too crazy tonight, I'm sure I'll be okay."

"Well, we'll see. For now, I want you to get back into bed. Come on…" He tried to take her by the hand.

"Henry, I don't need to be babied! Honestly, stop being such a fusspot." But she started to sway unsteadily on her feet. Henry caught her before she fell and swiftly put her back in their bed.

"Right, that's it. I'm calling the doctor. You're so pale you look like a ghost!"

"Wait, Henry… don't. There's no need to call them." He looked up from searching through the contact list on his phone.

"What, why? Darling, you're not at all well. Hang on let me get you some water…" Henry wedged the phone in the crook of his neck while he refilled her glass in the bathroom.

"Henry, you won't get through at this time. Besides all they'll tell me to do is rest and drink plenty of fluids."

"How do you know that? Have you already spoken to the doctor?" She took the glass of water from him, carefully avoiding eye contact.

"Yes, and he said I'll be fine so stop please stop worrying. I just want you to enjoy your birthday." She sipped the water slowly and rested her head against the headboard so she could close her eyes. Henry took a seat on the edge of the bed and caressed her hand.

"Are you feeling any better, love?" He spoke tenderly which only made her feel worse. Today was supposed to be about him and already things were getting off track.

"Mmm, though I'm sorry I've ruined your birthday breakfast…" Henry scoffed and got back in bed beside her.

"Rubbish, you know nothing comes between me and food. But I'll take the tray downstairs if the smell's making you feel worse?" She shook her head and he cautiously began chomping his way through a pastry. She attempted to change the subject, more to keep her mind off the food than anything else.

"So, are you looking forward to tonight?"

"You're damn right I am! It'll be nice to have everyone gathered together again. I've not seen most of them since the wedding."

"I know, I can't believe that was only last month."

"Me either. What can I say, time flies when you're married to a stud…" Henry leaned in and peppered her cheek with crumb-filled kisses. She breathed hard. "Are you sure you're alright? I feel awful sitting here stuffing my face when you're not well." She looked into his pale blue eyes and sighed. She then eased herself off the bed and walked slowly around it. Henry pushed the tray aside and stood to face her. "What is it?" He took her face gingerly into his hands. For a while, he could see the wheels turn in her head. Clearly, she was struggling to find the right words.

"Henry, I…" She faltered and instead pulled his hands down to rest on her stomach. Henry's eyes went wide.

"You're… you're pregnant?" She nodded weakly, her eyes filling with tears when she could see the ones in his. Eventually, he choked out a laugh. "Oh my God… Oh my God!" She took a few steps back while Henry ran backward and forward whooping and cheering. He then lifted her into the air, quickly dropping her back down when he remembered she was still feeling queasy. Instead, he settled for holding her tight. "You're pregnant… you're pregnant!" Henry broke down in tears once again and they stood, swaying and crying together until the noise caused both Copper and Kal to nose their way into the bedroom to inspect the commotion. "Guess what, guys? Mummy's having a baby!" He danced around excitedly, whipping the dogs into a similar if rather confused, frenzy. When she could get Henry to stand still again, he dotted her face with more kisses.

"Henry… Henry stop!"

"Oh, sorry, are you still feeling sick? Here let's sit you down…" A sinking feeling washed through her as she was plonked onto the edge of the bed. "Darling, what's the matter? You're going to be a mum! Aren't you thrilled?" She brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"Of course, I am! I want this just as much as you, it's just that…"

"What?" Then it dawned on him. Henry mentally kicked himself for not realising how bittersweet that moment must have been for her. He softly stroked her back. "Oh darling… what happened last time won't necessarily happen again—"

"But I'm only four weeks! I didn't want to tell you so soon but then I started getting morning sickness and… and…" Her voice trailed off. "Oh Henry, what if we lose it?! I can't go through that agony again…" Her head fell into her hands as she sobbed. Henry swivelled off the bed and kneeled in front of her.

"Ollie, listen very carefully to me, sweetheart. I want you to know that no matter what happens, either now or in the future, I'm right by your side and always will be. Nothing is going to change that, okay? Darling, look at me…" But her eyes were still awash with fear.

"… I'm so scared Henry. This is such a big change, are you sure we're really ready? It's not like having another dog, it'll be really hard work at first. God, the responsibility of it all…" His heart ached for her.

"I know sweetheart, but remember things are very different this time. We have each other and I'm also going to make sure you get the best possible care. If anything does go wrong, we're going to figure it out and work together, alright? We can even get a nanny if that'll help at first?" She flung her arms around Henry and went to kiss him before stopping herself. "What? What is it?"

"Well… my mouth still tastes awful!"

"Don't be silly. You're perfect!" He pulled her up off the bed and kissed her hard. For a while, they just stood holding each other steadily.

"And don't worry about a nanny, I'm sure we'll manage. I'm not a great sleeper anyway and I've looked after my sister's kids when they were newborns. Once you get into a routine things settle down eventually… Henry? Are you listening?"

"Yeah, sorry. It's just, wow… we're gunna be parents!" She beamed up at Henry. "I just can't believe it… when did you find out? Do you still have the test? When are you due?!" She smiled as he fired off each excited question, and reached into her bedside cabinet. She pulled out a thin, blue, and white stick. When she handed it to Henry, he blinked a couple of times at the two pink lines before his eyes swelled with tears once again. He then kissed the stick and let out another excited cheer. She felt so happy - not to mention relieved.

"I'm not sure it's very hygienic to kiss that you know," she teased. "I took it a few days ago when I started feeling off. I don't know what made me do it, something just felt… different. The baby should be due no later than December. To be honest I'm surprised it happened so quickly, I thought we'd have more difficulty—"

"So I shot and scored on the first try?! Wait a minute, if you're four weeks… that means you must have conceived on our wedding night!"

"… Oh my God, you're right. Are we really that tacky?!" Henry chuckled.

"Aww, I'm so thrilled though! Honestly, you've made me the happiest man alive. And don't worry, I'm gunna be here to get everything sorted—"

"But Henry you've got to go away again in June—"

"No bloody fear! I'm not leaving now that you're pregnant!"

"Why not?! Henry you've got to go back to work!"

"You must be joking, I'm not missing you being pregnant!"

"Well, once I'm out of the first trimester things should hopefully go a lot smoother anyway. Honestly, you won't be missing much—"

"I don't care, I'm not missing any of it—"

"But Henry I'll need you here when the baby's born, it's better that you're away now and here later, trust me."

"Well, we'll see how things go, I have no problem taking another year out if I have to, you and the baby are far more important to me." He gently cradled the lower half of her stomach. "So, when can we tell everyone?"

"Not yet, we need to wait until I'm at least twelve weeks."

"God, it's going to be hard keeping it a secret…"

"I know, but it's for the best. I don't want it announced by your publicist either."

"That's okay, I completely agree. We will have to tell her at some point. After all, we don't want her catching wind of it further down the line. She's very good though, she'll make sure it's kept under wraps."

"Well, I certainly hope so. I mean, it's not like it's some dirty secret, but I don't want the stress of the media trying to release the story—"

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'll make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible. Now, when do we have to arrange to see the doctor?"

"I've already booked to see the midwife next week. It's only an hour-long appointment, you don't need to go with me…"

"Are you joking? I want to be involved every step of the way!'

"Well, I appreciate that but you must promise not to start becoming a fusspot over me?"

"But this is our first baby, you can't blame me if get a little bit protective!"

"I know but remember, until the later stages I can carry on pretty much as normal. I want to continue working for as long as I can, as well." Henry bit his lip.

"Darling your job can be very stressful, I don't want you juggling contract negotiations with being sick and tired all the time."

"The morning sickness should go away by the time I'm four to five months gone. To be honest, I've had it earlier than normal. Usually, it doesn't start until you're at least six weeks—"

"But maybe that's a good sign? Last time you said you had no symptoms so maybe everything will go smoother this time around?" She smiled at him sadly, always in awe of his eternal optimism.

"Well, I certainly hope so, God there's so much to do…"

"Don't worry, we've got eight months to get everything sorted. But what do we do about the party later? Do you think you'll still be up to going?"

"Yeah, I'll feel better as the day wears on. But I won't be able to drink so I'm going to have to fake it somehow. I hope no one cottons on…"

"You'll be fine, just make sure you stick close to me so that if you want to leave we can call a cab. God, I'm going to be a Daddy! I'm so excited! Aren't you?"

"Of course! My head's swimming though. We'll have to figure out what room we want to use as the nursery."

"Well don't worry, I can paint it in a day, just tell me what colours and furnishings you want—"

"Well that's the thing, is it okay if we don't find out whether it's a boy or a girl?"

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I mean I don't think I'm going to have another, so it's tough shit if it's a girl, cos we won't be trying again—" Henry cackled.

"I'd love a little girl! Our family's full of boys so it'll be wonderful to have a daughter. Especially if she looks like you…"

"Oh God, what if she gets your arse chin?" He snorted.

"Well, that's just charming! There's nothing like a mother's love is there?!" Her face turned serious for a moment.

"Will you promise to look after them though? I mean whatever happens between us in the future, do you promise to always be there for them?" Henry felt his heart sink. The poor relationship she'd had with her own father was obviously weighing heavily on her mind.

"Darling, I've already promised that I will love and protect you both until I take my dying breath. Nothing will ever stand in the way of that, okay?" Her face still looked clouded with worry.

"… God I'm going to get so fat."

"Oh stop it, as long as you're both healthy and happy that's all that matters. And besides, I can always get you one of those electric scooters…" She swatted him on the arm.

"Oh Lord help me, it's gunna be a bloody long eight months…"

"Yeah, but it'll be a laugh too. And there are lots of positives. Just imagine how big those are gunna get…" Henry pointed at her chest, a look of pride on his face. "And this!" He gave her backside a determined pinch. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Think of all the baby classes we'll have to attend as well—"

"Oh no we're bloody not! We can do virtual ones, there's absolutely no sodding way I'm attending any of those with you!"

"What? Why not? How else am I going to learn about everything?!"

"Henry, you will just play up and then every week afterward I'll be too embarrassed to show my face! Besides, you're famous. I'm not having people come up and ask for autographs while I'm trying to practise breathing techniques!"

"Okay, you've got a point. But please don't worry, alright? I promise I'm going to be hands-on and do as much as I can to educate myself. I want to be involved as much as possible."

"Is that right? So you're going to get up in the middle of the night to do a feed? And change shitty nappies?!"

"Well, we can draw straws on that last one…" She smiled, realising that there was no one else with whom she'd rather embark upon the journey to parenthood. "So, do you think we'll have a girl then? What about names? Personally, I've always liked Henrietta," she scoffed.

"Henry, if you think I'm naming my daughter after you, you’ve got another thing coming!"

"What? Henrietta's a lovely name! Better than Ollie at any rate!" She thwacked Henry on the arm again.

"Don't be so bloody cheeky, or I'll take all your birthday presents back! Come on, enough about the baby for the moment, we can talk more about it later. Now let's go downstairs Daddy so you can open all your gifts—"

"Well don't worry, you've already given me the best gift I could have asked for! Thank you so, so much darling. I didn't even know I could feel this happy. Look, I know it won't always be easy, but there's no one else I'd rather do any of this with. You're going to be an amazing mother. I love you, sweetheart… best birthday ever!" They grinned widely at each other, shared another kiss, and went down to the kitchen holding each other's hand.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo

[jybyls]

Tease

Part 1

Warning: Teasing, R is kinda jealous, sexual tension but no smut, R is an actress too, and I think that's it.

Synopsis: Part 2, so you're visiting Jenna on the set of Finestkind, and you wanted to get your revenge after her teasing you but you end up in one damn of a situation

Words: 1k~

Jen <3

You: Loveee ! Do you know what day it is ?

So today I finally get to see Jenna again and I'm terribly excited.

Jen: Hi love, did you sleep well ?

It's sweet she asks if i slept well because she knows I have trouble sleeping even more when I'm not with her. But currently I couldn't give a fuck less about my sleeping schedule.

You: Who gives a shit I FINALLY get to see you today !!

Jen: Oh yes that's right ! Omg I forgot it's already the day !

You: How could you forget ? I'm terribly offended.

Jen: Come on I'm sorry I really can't wait to see ya love ❤️

You: Yeah sure

Jen: Don't be like that

You: Ok ok I'm sorry

I'm really excited to see you tho ❤️

Jen: Me too ❤️

When's your flight ?

You: At 6pm.

Got everything pack already and I'm just gonna clean the house and feed the cats

Jen: Omg bring the cats with you !

You: Lmao I wish I could, but my best friend gonna take care of them while I'm gone

Jen: Really wish you could bring them :(

Miss them

You: More than me ?

Jen: That's a trick question and I won't answer

You: That is not a trick question woman 🤨

Anyway you're gonna pick me up at the airport right ?

Jen: Yes ofc

Need my little princess passenger

You: Tbh that's one of the thing I missed the most

Jen: Being my princess passenger ?

You: Yeah

Jen: You're unbelievable

You: I can't wait to see in your Mabel outfit in real life

Jen: Oooh right I forgot about that

I really bet you can't wait

You: Ok now don't be a teaser

Jen: I didn't do anything !

You: Aren't you suppose to work ?

Jen: Lunch break

You: Right

What scene do you gotta do after you're break ?

Jen: A lovey dovey scene

Oh right so whenever me or Jenna are doing a scene where we're kissing someone else we call those scenes "lovey dovey scenes" to not make the other one jealous. Which never works by the way.

You: Right I forgot that's basically all the movie is about.

Anddd now I'm jealous and she knows it.

Jen: Don't be jealous

We can recreate that scene if you want. It'll be soo much better than the actually scene

Will they make you feel better ?

You: Probably yeah

Jen: Alright. I gotta go my love I love you can't wait to see you ❤️

You: I love you too, work hard. I'll reward you when I'll get there ❤️

Jen: Oh God.

She can't be the only one to tease.

My plan arrived, and I've been looking around for Jenna until I saw a small figure looking around like I was. She turned around, and a smile immediately grew on her face. She ran up to me, hugging my waist tightly. "Hi baby. I've missed you so bad." She said, her face buried in my chest. "I've missed you too, love." My face in her neck holding her for dear life. She pulled away to kiss me softly. That's only when I realised she's still wearing Mabel's outfit. Oh God.

"You're still wearing Mabel's fit." I said while checking her out. "Yeah, you like it ?" She smirked. Fucking tease. "Yeah it looks even better in real life," I look up at her, not looking away from her mesmerising eyes, "you look so good, love." She just smiled at me, taking my hand in her. "Thank you sweetheart," she took some of my baggage and start walking toward her car, "by the way you know I worked real hard today." She made an allusion of our conversation earlier, I like to think that she kept thinking about that all day. "Remebered that huh ? Could you even think of something else all day ?" I teased her, I'm getting my revenge today.

"No I couldn't this is why I worked so hard, I mean, I had to think about something else than you which was really considering the pic that you send me so I think I deserved my reward." She started to ramble as she opened the door for me, I mumbled a small 'thank you' before starting to talk. "Right, you do deserve your reward." I smirked, seeing how hard I affected her.

Jenna is usually the one who has an effect on me and totally controls me, but from time to time, she lets me take control for a moment, so I'm enjoying it. Plus, I know as soon as she asks me to get down on my knees, I will.

On the way to the set of Finestkind, we talked about our day, going back and forth on random topics too. Once there, she made me meet everyone, but she hurried our way to her trailer.

"Remebered what I told you about recreating that lovey dovey scene ?"

"Yeah, I do, but what exactly was the scene ?"

"Let me show you ? You're Charlie, and I'm Mabel, ok love ?"

I only nodded, letting her guide me for now.

Jenna is currently lying on her back while I'm kissing her stomach, begging for her to let me taste her. "Please, pretty please." I'm so desperate for her, but how could I not be? She has been teasing me for the past hour. It goes from pulling my hair away from a kiss to denying me pleasure her. It's driving me crazy and she's loving it, maybe too much.

"What do you want, baby ?" She smirked down at me. "You. Just you, please." I'm turning into a whining mess. She pretended to think for a moment before answering me. "Mmh, I don't know. Why should I ?" She's being cruel. She knows it, a small tear run down my eye. I buried my face in her thigh, holding her like my life depended on it. "Because you worked so hard today, you need to release some stress." She can't deny me for too long she'll eventually give in.

"Okay, then have me, baby." She caressed my hair softly, I looked up at her checking if she was playing with me, but I realised she wasn't and immediately started to get to work.

We're having a long night.

[starfirewildheart]

Scars and Souvenirs 

Chapter 2

Summary: Sy and his lady both retire from the army but not before tragedy befalls Sy. He slowly tries to adjust to life again on their ranch.

Pairing: Sy / OFC

Word count: 2,324

Rating: NO MINORS, NSFW under cut. Police yourself please, mentions of war, being a POW, death and animal abuse. A little more detail in this one. More abused animals rescued all happy endings I promise.

Sy texted Debbie for the tenth time. His Ma was still talking and didn't look to be slowing down anytime soon and he didn't want her doing all the work herself.

Sy: Sugar, come back to the house. Ma's still ramblin' a mile a minute and showing no signs of slowin' down. Got steaks marinating for dinner. We can put the round bales out tomorrow and I'll help you finish brushin' everyone down then.

Deb: You spend time with your mom. I got dis! I have one more thing to do and then I'm comin' to the house. I haven’t been alone all day anyway. I have a friend.

Sy: oh?

(Not my dog or my pic)

Deb: she said you better have some steak for her too!

"Austin, are you listening to me?" Sara Syverson scolded.

"Sorry," he told her sheepishly. " I'm trying to get Deb to stop for the day. She's been out there for hours."

"Well honey it's hard work taking care of animals, she needs to know that."

Sy's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "What?"

"This animal rescue stuff is all her idea. She's spending your money and using you as a workhorse," she fussed. She loved her son and it broke her heart to see him used like this.

"Wait just a minute here, ma. I don't know what you're going on about but you are very wrong! This ranch was my dream and I asked her to join me.  When we heard about the horses being abused and sold for meat we BOTH wanted to rescue them, not just her." He moved to sit by her on the soda and took her hand. "I don't know why you don't like her or what's going on with you but you're blaming her for things that aren't her fault."

"You are with her 24/7. Is it too much to ask that you spend some time with your momma?" 

Sy cringed, "No of course not. I'm sorry," he hugged her as he tried to blink the tears from his eyes. "I never realized," his breath caught in his throat. "I'll do better, I promise."

The screen door banged open and Aika came bounding in jumping up on Sy sensing his anxiety. Debbie came in a few seconds later. "Wheew it's hot out there." She stopped in her tracks as she picked up on the heaviness in the room. "Is everything ok?" 

"Yea," Sy got up and hugged her. "We've just been catchin' up." She gave him a concerned look but didn't push. "Will you fix your famous potatoes for the grill before you take a shower sugar?"

Deb laughed. "Are you trying to say I smell, Sir?" She teased as she headed to the kitchen squeaking when he playfully smacked her ass.

"Ya reek sugar," he smirked as he got the foil out for her.

She could feel Sara's eyes on her as they moved around the kitchen, perfectly attuned to each other without even having to speak. She scrubbed her hands good then put some butter in a dish to melt in the microwave before moving to the sink to scrub the potatoes. Once that was done she retrieved the melted butter and started tearing off sheets of foil for each one. Brushing the potatoes all over with the butter  she then sprinkled them with sea salt, Italian herbs, garlic and onion powder then wrapped them all up tightly. "You sure that's all you want me to do?"

"Affirmative, get outta here." He smacked her ass again then grabbed her wrist and pulled her flush against him kissing her when she started to walk away. He took advantage of her soft gasp and deepened the kiss exploring her mouth and getting lost in the feeling of her pressed tight against him. They both nearly jumped out of their skin when his mom's voice rang out loudly. Deb hid her flushed face against his neck.

"It's getting late. Shouldn't you be starting dinner?" Sara sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm gonna go clean up," She said, still blushing wildly. She didn't miss the disapproving look Sara shot her as she rushed out of the room.

~~~~~~♡~~~~~~

Sy watched as Deb flopped face first across the bed still fully dressed. He toed off his boots and laid down on his back beside, her resting his hand on her ass. 

" Mmmmm mmmmhm hummm." He laughed, "can't understand you with your face smashed in the mattress sugar." She turned her face toward him. "Your mom hates me"

"No, it's not you sugar, it's me. She's not been the same since I got stateside," he shrugged. "Guess her baby boy is too broken now." If the word 'D'fuq??' had a face Debbie was using it on him now and he couldn’t help the big belly laugh that escaped him.

"Austin Lee Syverson, that woman loves you more than life itself." She got to her hands and knees and straddled him pressing soft kisses on his lips and jaw. "And you, my love, are not broken. You are handsome, loving, passionate, strong, a leader, a hero." She punctuated each word with a kiss or a nip to his neck as she reached under his shirt and lightly ran her nails over his chest and stomach.

"Fuck", Sy moaned as she ground her core against his now hard bulge. "Way too many clothes," he growled before quickly stripping them both. This time he crawled on top of her with a wicked grin. He kissed his way down her body only stopping when he reached her shaved mound. "Mine," his growl was possessive. Since his return he was extremely possessive of her and didn't want anyone else even near her. He wanted the world to know she was his so he had started marking her by sucking or biting places and today it would be here.

He bent her legs and pushed them up to her chest, opening her beautiful flower to him. "So wet for me sugar. Look at you, already clinching, needing my cock."

"Please Sy," She mewled as she bucked up trying for his touch.

He quickly thrust three fingers knuckle deep into her while taking his left hand and exposing her hidden pearl before diving in and licking and sucking it.

"Oh fuck! Sy!" She circled her hips thrusting against his hand and mouth seeking that pleasure starting to build in her belly. The scruff on his face was leaving beard burn but she didn’t care Sy's mouth was a national treasure and the way he used suction and even a light scraping of teeth could make her cum in an instant. "Oh god!" She reached down and pushed his face harder against her throbbing pussy fucking up against his face until she cum with a scream, her body clenching and quivering, her legs shaking. As the throb started to die down she felt Sy's teeth sink in gently against her bare mound marking her causing her to his and yelp.

He licked the mark he'd made to soothe the ache before placing a kiss on the red mark already forming then crawled back up her body. "Mine."

"Only yours, always," She pulled him into a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue.

He kept her legs hitched up by his arms and rubbed his cock over her still sensitive folds before he started pressing inside her. They both moaned at the sensation."So fuckin' tight. Your body is made for me, sugar. Fits like a fuckin glove."

Debbie clinched around him as he filled her almost to full, the final push making her feel like she was going to burst leaving her panting. "So big baby. So full." She was beyond the ability to string words together at this point much less form sentences.

Always the best at what he does, Sy moved slowly at first. Slow, languid thrusts while he circled his hips. After her third orgasm clamped down on him he couldn’t hold back any more and started pounding into her. The sounds of skin slapping against skin, the wet sound of her juices leaking out around him and the cock drunk look of bliss on her face and he felt his balls start to draw up tight and his dick swell even more. "One more sugar. Give me one more. I wanna feel you milking me when I cum!" Reaching between them he started rubbing her clit and soon they were both falling apart crying out each other's names as he collapsed on top of her. He laid there a minuet before slipping out of her and rolling to his side pulling her against him. "I love you."

Deb snuggled to his side and pressed a kiss to his chest. "Love to Sy."

~~~~~~♡~~~~~~

A few days had passed and things were normal on the ranch. Deb had been researching an upcoming auction while Sy was trying to find a home for a mare and her foal that were ready for a family. "The Winston's are going to take them," he smiled happily.

"That’s wonderful. Their little girl will have a ball with the foal."

He walked over to her desk and sat on the edge of it. "Any prospects? "

"A few, sadly. There are a lot of rumors about a stallion that was beaten and abused to the point no one could even approach him then left uncared for. I read that his hooves are so overgrown they are curled around his feet."

"Damn," he shook his head. "I'll have the farrier and the vet on stand-by for Friday morning. Hopefully we can get him calm enough to give him some help right away."

"Sometimes I just really hate people."

He kissed the top of her head and hugged her.  "There are a few good ones out there still."

"So What you're saying is I can't break 'em all and make' em snap like glow sticks or push 'em down the stairs like slinkies?" She asked innocently. 

He flashed his crooked grin. "Just a few of the many reasons I love ya."

"Life will never be boring with me."

"That’s for damn sure," he chuckled. "Do we have everything we need in case this storm front is as bad as they think it's gonna be?" It was that season where bad weather could knock the power for days due to floods, wind and debris and they were calling for a bad one to start late tonight or early in the morning. 

"Animal's food and backup water supply is safely stored and ready. Aika had plenty of food and treatos. I stocked up on food and supplies for us yesterday and incase shit really hits the fan we gave the lovely MRE's hidden in the closet." They both cringed at the thought. "We filled the sandbags and got them ready the day before yesterday and we picked up three gerri cans of fuel for the generators. We are about as set as we are gonna be." She could see the crease between his brows and that he was chewing at his bottom lip which were all warnings of anxiety building in him. She reached over and put her hand on his thigh giving it a gentle squeeze. "You worried sweetheart?"

He took her hand in both of his. She could always tell if even the slightest thing was off with him. She and she alone was the reason that he made it through his POW recovery and the loss of his men. She spent weeks just holding him while he screamed and cried fighting tortures who were no longer there physically but in his mind were electrocuting him, beating him, breaking his bones, stabbing him, burning him, trying to drown him and killing his men and torturing them in front of him because he was an officer and they wanted information. He shook the thoughts from his mind when he felt her hands on his face and saw her standing in front of him. "No, I'm not worried about the storm sugar."

"Then what's going on up here? " She softly tapped his forehead. 

"Ma needs me to come by and put some sand bags by her back door and put the shutters on her windows."

"Ok." She wasn't sure why he'd be upset by that. "I'll grab my shoes."

"She wants me to come alone."

Ah, there it was. Sy hadn't spent more than 20 minutes without Debbie where she could get to him quickly since he landed in Germany.  She was his anchor. According to the army shrink, just the same way that sounds, smells and other things could trigger PTSD her voice, her scent and her touch helped ground him and pull him back. "I can go and wait in the truck," She offered.

He pressed his forehead against hers. "No. It's just Ma's place right? What could possibly happen to trigger me there? Besides, I've not had a flashback in months. I'll be fine."

He tried to sound convincing but she could tell he felt anything but. Protectiveness told her to demand to go with him but she knew she couldn't. Sy was a grown man making astounding strides in recovery and she had to show him her faith in him. She smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm a text or call away if you need anything." 

He gave her a kiss and a hug before calling for Aika and heading to his moms.

@shellyshellshell

@enchantedbytomandhenry

[angelltheninth]

Accidentally sending them a nude pic

With AngelDust,Alastor,Blitzø and Stolas

Oh no, I would never be able to live it down lmao. Well I'd be dead but still.

Pairing: Angel Dust, Alastor, Blitzo, Stolas x Reader

Tags: slightly nsfw, nudes, teasing, developing relationship, friends with benefits, established relationship, co-workers

A/N: Yeah I would not be able to face someone I'm dating again soon after this because there's no way I can play it off as intentional, I'm not a very good liar.

Angel loves trading nudes with you and also loves talking dirty over the phone, especially if he can't visit you and he wants to unwind after a stressful day at the Studio so of course assumes you sent it deliberately, also he just likes them in general

Would reply back within minutes, asking if he should come over or do you want to do this over the phone

He'd thought it was hilarious that you did it accidentally but would tell you that his offer still stands

He always sends you teasing pics anyway so he sees no reason for you to be embarrassed about this, besides he can send you proof that he liked it of you want

Alastor would be very taken back by it, he'd call you immediately asking why you sent it

See Alastor doesn't exactly mind that sort of stuff but he doesn't like it randomly sent to him, usually he's the one who makes the first move and lets you know that he wants it

Both of you are very flustered about it actually and you quickly delete the pic and say sorry to him

However the next time you see him Alastor leans in and asks if he can see the real thing this time, he thinks he'd enjoy it much more that way

Since the two of you work together nudes aren't very uncommon between the two of you

That being said he wasn't prepared to get one while he was talking to a potential client and upon seeing it he came really close to telling the client to go away so he can call you into his office instead

However you immediately sent the follow up message explaining how it was an accident, he would be lying if he said he wasn't a little disappointed by that

When the client leaves he marches up to you and kiss you in front of everyone, leaving you breathless and swooning as he guides you into his office and locks the door

There's no bad time for you to send a nude to Stolas and he'll reply with his own within seconds, it's almost like he has them ready to go

Having sex over the phone is ok but would much rather do it in person, he understands that because of his standing it can't always happen so nudes and phone sex are enough to keep him satiated until the two of you can meet up

Would tease you endlessly about it being an accident but that somehow makes it hotter since in his mind it means that you're subconsciously thinking about him and that makes him happy

When you do come over however he'd pose for you and tell you to take all the dirty pictures you want, and he can do the same with you, that way you can avoid any accidental ones since you'll both have plenty of material when you're alone

[knwatchesninjago]

S1E5 Can of Worms

Hellloooooooo!!! Look who's back!! <333

So this ep was a LOT of fun to watch, ngl!!

---

Alrighty!! Let's start with some good old fashioned...

#SiblingBonding

Honestly I love how this episode focuses on the GlacierBros and the PlasmaBuddies (No. I do not ship any of these four together. They are brothers. I have a brother as well, so I know and can relate to these four's relationship. A sibling relationship can and may times is very close. And it's just a fact. Not everyone has to be shipped.)

---

Anyways, we also got our little gremlin!! :3

#Lloydster_Enters_The_Scene

---

Sadly, as I predicted in the previous post for ep4... there was barely any scene where Lloyd regrets his life decisions...

but alas... we got one scene...

#RegretsLifeDecisions

----

Okay... now onto the funny part, loll

Teacher: So kids, what can we learn from this? Student 1: don't have green eyes? Student 2: Don't smush food on your face? Student 3: Hide in a corner and look cute? Teacher: NO! The lesson we can learn from this is... don't do drugs. Or you'll end up like him.

Alright, all jokes aside...seriously, stay away from drugs and smoking stuff. they aren't good for you. And in the future, you'll be wishing you could reverse time itself. But sadly the Time Blades don't exist in our beautiful world, loll. So please, for yourself, stay away from all sorts of drugs/alcohol/smoking thingys.

----

Anyways, because I don't want to end on a serious note... we're now onto the highlight of the entire episode...

(drum roll pls)

I NOW PRESENT TO YOU....

#TheLegendaryPinkNinja (aka Pinky)

^First of... his face 🤣🤣🤣^

Oh my goshh.... even his tornado is pink!! 🤣🤣🤣

I'm questioning how those snakes couldn't see Zane... Like, come on!! He's so obviously visible...

Anyways, I can't with PinkZane!! He's absolutely hilarious!! Thanks to our little green gremlin, we got some comedy, loll.

I dunno if PinkZane is mentione anymore in Ninjago... I hope he is, loll!!

I would be adding more pics, but sadly I'm up to the 30 pic limit.

So, byeeeeeeeeee!!

~KN out~

https://kittenninja14.tumblr.com/post/731916269075480576/hey-yall-i-just-found-this-incredible-video-and

[yakumtsaki]

We're back for the last update before Barflina fucks off to college! This is one giant update I have to split in 2 parts them thanks to the liferuining new 30 pics limit, I will post part 2 right after this one. I don't mean to be dramatic but the universe cannot contain my hatred for the new post editor. At least I have Wendi looking all cute and regal.

-I will NEVER have kittens with Shinok, I hate him and his stupid, not coordinated grey leg coloring!

What?? WHO CARES

-I care, look at my beautiful cohesive coat! His genes would ruin it and our kids would be freaks!

-Jimbo, on the other hand, is a perfect specimen! Now that's a good addition to my gene pool!

Jimbo, the leopard print, custom slider freakshow DOG is a perfect specimen for you, Wendi the CAT. I'm starting to suspect you're a cross-species perv and Shinnok's legs aren't the problem here.

-Shut it! Leave that elderly deer bitch Veronica, Jim, and run away with me!

-Oh Wendi, I don't know, it seems wrong..

-I hear you, baby, but maybe it's so wrong.. it's right?

-KEEP YOUR SLUTTY PERVERTED WIFE AWAY FROM MY MAN, SHINNOK

-HOW AM I THE ONE GETTING BEAT UP I HATE THIS HOUSE I HATE MY LIFE

-I'M RUNNING AWAY AND NEVER COMING BACK, YOU CAN KISS THE CAT LEGACY GOODBYE!!!

10 seconds later:

-Ok I'm back, just in time for my birthday!

Happy birthday, Shinnok, your present is your dad dying at the exact same time. WTF @ game timing.

-Daddy no!

-I'm off to join your mother in cat heaven, Shinnok!

-But Mom hated you!

-Oh right she did, well she's probably in Hell anyway. Guard those mismatched grey legs you got from me, they are my legacy!

-I will Dad! I will!!

RIP Klaus, you were a sweetheart, I'm sorry you had to mate with Kitana💔

Xander and Sandy are each other's fav and Sandy is constantly late for work because she's fucking around playing with him. I'd like to remind you guys that I've been trying to get her to the top of the culinary career since SOPHITO AND SUGAR WERE CHILDREN

-B̷U̴T ̸I ̷L̷O̷V̴E̵ XA̴N̸D̵E̶R̵🧟‍♀️

Will you get your zombie ass to work, Xander will be here when you come back!

NEVER MIND. WHY CAN'T THIS GAME SPACE OUT THE PET DEATHS A LITTLE GOOD GOD.

RIP Xander, you were the best dog we've had so far, you were so good and loyal and kept running into fires with your dumbass owners. I'll miss you💔

-I ̴D̶I̵D̶ ̶I̷T, I F̷I̸N̷A̴L̷L̶Y̵ ̵D̴I̸D̵ ̶I̸T̶! W̴H̵E̷R̷E̵'̸S̶ M̵Y ̸D̵O̷G̷ ̴BA̷B̷Y🧟‍♀️

Sandy I'm so happy for you, and also I'd like to talk to you about the law of equivalent exchange.

Could it be that there are too many people in this house?? Could it??? I'm starting to feel it's possible.

OH FFS, VERONICA

AWWWW they have Jimbo's spots, so cute! God this lot is gonna explode.

SO CUTE. MY HEART

Time for Liz's cucky birthday party with no guests because I'm already tempting fate with this lot.

-Thank you, balloons, for protecting the viewing public from Failina's face. -This face has been making out with Meadow Thayer while you're getting rejected by the Tricou Don clones. -SHUT UP I'LL KILL YOU -Can I blow my candles now? -Not yet, Mom, I'm not done bringing up Barf's humiliating dating failures.

Please go ahead, Liz, and also where the hell is your husband.

-Playing catch with Sugar.

Of course he is.

-Happy birthday to me!

Do you feel any different, other than this awful outfit that I'm changing asap?

-Now that you mention it I do..

-..I feel the inexplicable need to fight with my 100yo mother-in-law despite the fact we're friends!

Liz wtf WHY

-There can only be one cunty matriarch around here and it is I! And also I'm a way better lawyer than you ever were! Now let me just get my makeover-

-So I can berate you some more!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. Liz wtf is your problem??? It's literally like a switch flipped as soon as she aged up, what on earth.

-I EAT LITTLE 60YOS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST, BITCH

She does, Liz, she really does. You come at the queen, you best not miss! But I still don't get why this feud erupted out of nowhere??

Oh my God.. IT'S BARFLINA. We have the quite possibly first case in history where it isn't the adults exposing the children to violence and setting abusive patterns, it's the other way around!!! YOU TWO ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART, EVEN SHAJAR AND HER 1 NICE POINT ARE HORRIFIED -GOOD, THIS FAMILY CAN GO TO HELL!!! FROM ITS ASHES MY NEW DYNASTY WILL RISE -SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR DYNASTY ALREADY -YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A DYNASTY BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVEN DATE YOU -THEY SO WILL AND THEY'LL BE BETTER THAN YOUR BIMBO -TAKE HER NAME OUT OF YOUR GROSS MISSHAPEN MOUTH -WE HAVE THE SAME MOUTH, MORON -YA BUT MINE HAS BEEN KISSED, INCEL -I'LL KILL YOU -I'LL KILL YOU MORE

-Dad, someone will date me, right?? -Of course they will, son! You'll be a hoe, like your dad was before you! -But no one wants to date me! You had 50 first dates, I clearly get my genes from you but not the success! -Well, you'll have to relax and play it cool. You come across a little neurotic and/or psychotic. You get that from your mom. -You're right, Dad, I won't call the matchmaker until I'm as relaxed as one of those pimples chilling on Failina's gross oily forehead!

-Ah, nothing more relaxing than a nice, hot cup of tea..

-..with the view of Uncle Sugar setting Sandy's spine back in place. -I̸T FE̵L̸L ̴O̸F̷F🧟‍♀️ -Ok, I'm ready for my date!

See you in part 2, coming right up!

[bigwishes]

Accepting some wishes? Would be so kind as to beef me up into a hunky black guy?

Always accepting some wishes! Hmm wanna get beefed up into a hunky black man? sure, why not? sounds easy enough, so lets get started. First we gotta open the flood gates to melanin, don't worry it won't hurt but its definitely going to make you a lot darker, next we need to move on to restructuring your hair, make it a lot thicker and whilst we're at it lets make it grow a shit tone faster too just because I feel like it. I hope you are well versed in black hair care because you are going to have to spend a couple hours on it each night, but for now lets just have you start with a short simple style, just in case you need time to research how to take care of it, oh I almost forgot the muscle! well looks like someone has been eating their veggies because you sure are packing on the strength quick! There we go, snap a pic of the new you a sexy black man!

but, geez, it seems I'm a total fucking idiot! you wanted to "be beefed up into a hunky black guy" sure this is sexy but its not exactly beef, well bud those muscle aren't going to pump themselves, oh wait they are! a fun little currr....blessing, Its a fun little blessing, you don't even need to work out and you'll keep beefing up. So, to recap we've got the sexy black part down, the beef is going to set in really soon, the hair is going to grow much quicker because who doesn't love a guy with hot thick hair and you can do whatever you want, completely ignore working out and still have an incredible body, welp, lets check on you in a week and see how you are doing?

Damn look at that muscle really starting to swell in, and the hair good job keeping it washed but it probably needs a trim soon, oh? you got it cut yesterday? well its fine it looks good just make sure to get the sides trimmed up every other day or so unless you want a full on afro which who could deny would be a hot ass look. Your pecs feel heavy? well they had to be your largest feature, get the eyes drawn in ya know, its fine you'll get used to it and you wont be like my other clients so over massed you can barely move but you aren't as big as you'll get, give it another week, maybe 2 and you'll be looking at another 70-90 pounds of clean muscle, then the growth will stop. anyway enjoy your new beefed (well, still beefing) up hunky black bod bro, you'll have guys drooling all over you in no time, just make sure you wear some baggy clothes for a little while, I'd hate to see you have a little growth spurt and rip up a fancy dress shirt whilst out to dinner.

[drev-the-procrastinator]

I would like to know more about the fish in your profile pic. :)

oh!!! of course!!! gladly :) here's a full picture of the little fella:

so this guy's a Perca fluviatilis, or European perch, or just a perch, or in Finnish, ahven!

It's a predatory fish that lives in both fresh and brackish water, so here in Finland, dotted with over 180 000 lakes (albeit most are very small) and surrounded by the brackish waters of the Baltic Sea (or Itämeri in Finnish, which is funny because it means the East Sea even though from Finland said sea is to the west, but it's a direct translation from Swedish, to whom it is in the east lol anyway), it's a very common fish. In fact, it's the most common fish in Finland! There are a lot of little lakes and ponds in which it might be the only fish. It's also the national fish of Finland!

The important characteristics are the red (or really orange usually) fins and tail, the darker stripes, and the spikey dorsal fin, with the little black dot at the end towards the tail. In some of the darkwater lakes they can get almost black, though, so the stripes aren't always visible, but for example in the sea, where the water is clearer, you can see them well.

They can grow pretty big, but are usually 15-30 cm and weigh at most something like 350 grams, though occasionally bigger fish are found. When it comes to people who fish for fun, and not like, with big ships, the perch is the most commonly fished fish in Finland, I think? They can also withstand waters quite a lot acidic than most Finnish fish, which contributes to them living in tiny bog ponds as the only fish in there. Mostly they live in Europe (aside from Spain and Italy) and all the way to the Kolyma River in the Russian far east, but they've been planted in places such as Australia, New Zealand/Aotearoa, South Africa and even China I think? Where they're endangering the native fish species :[ so that's not good

They're pretty curious little fishies! They live in schools of fish during the day and look for food together, but at night they rest on their own at the bottom of the body of water they live in. A few times, when I've gone swimming in a lake with clear water, I've spotted them in the shallow water rather close to people swimming, and when I stayed in place for long enough they came really close a few times! I could've almost touched them, but they're also really fast, so they would've (and probably did) sprint away.

I've caught them a few times, but the ones I've fished have been too small so I've let them go. When my dad's side of the family used to have the cottage in the archipelago my mom has now, my grandparents used to put out the fishing nets (I helped a few times as well!) and then in the morning I'd help take the fishes out of the net, and there'd be perch there pretty often. I've also filleted these fish, and eaten them haha. My favorite is perch covered in flour and fried in butter, served with mashed potato! But most of all I do like just watching them :)

A couple more fun facts! They have a sharp boney spike at the edge of their gill cover, so you have to be careful when you hold them for example taking it off a hook! And the spikes on their back! They're very spiky fish :D

The word for ahven here in Russian is окунь, okun', which according to a version of the etymology, comes from the old word for eye, oko. In Finnish, ahven is pretty close to the reconstructed Proto-Finnic form *ahvën, but we don't know what the etymology for that is! The name for the fish is really similar in most Finnic languages though:

Lastly, the Finnish name for the big island and autonomous region of Åland is Ahvenanmaa, with ahvena being a dialectal form of ahven, and thus the name is like, the land of the perch :) It might come from the fact that in the 1500s, the people from there paid their taxes in perch? The etymology on that one is a little unlcear still! Just a fun little fact. :)

Here's a picture of a little ahven I took in 2018!

I just really like them :) ahven my beloved <3 <3 <3

[chill-pills-yandere-haven]

The Shadows of Paradise

An: pic from namelessan on Zerochan. Breaking into the Enstars fandom with this!

Tw: implied physical assault, implied stalking, yandere stuff in general, religious references (I mean, it's Eden), let me know if I missed any

Eden.

Paradise, huh?

More like the gateway to hell.

And these boys. 

These boys were shadows, dragging you in so deep you couldn't even move anymore. Tying you up so you couldn't move a muscle, all while telling you how much they 'loved' you.

That was your current predicament.

"Ibara, you don't need to tie it that tight, you'll hurt them!" One of them said, complaining.

 Hiyori, you were sure, his voice was a little higher than the others. It would've been easy to tell from looks though.

 Not like you could differentiate them by sight anyway, they had blindfolded and gagged you for some reason.

 You didn't know them that well. Just that you ended up in the same places a lot and they were friends with your boyfriend. Right now, they were tightening the ropes that tied you to the chair you were on.

Who were they?

Eden of course.

Known as one of the 'big three' in the idol world. Giants in the entertainment industry, one of its members were head of one of the big idol agencies and another was an aristocrat whose family owned your favourite cafe chain. 

All their members practically drowned in riches so it's no wonder they were able to kidnap you so easily.

"No worries, your highness, their grace will be alright," that was Ibara. He always addressed people with weird titles, calling you 'their grace' as though you were some paragon of holiness.

"Speaking of that, they're awfully calm, aren't they? Especially for just having been kidnapped. Are they still asleep?" Hiyori asked. 

Of course, you weren't, you were just biting your tongue at the moment.

"By their breathing patterns, I'd say they're awake, just very calm for being in this type of situation. We really do appreciate it, your grace," Ibara replied, happily patting you on the head. 

The truth was, you just didn't know what to say. You had been kidnapped by a group of J pop idol boys and tied up in what was probably some kind of basement. God, you were practically the MC of some crappy Tumblr fic at this point.

How did this even happen?

You were off on another date with your amazing boyfriend, Kaoru, and the two of you decided to go to your favourite cafe.

He ordered drinks for the both of you since he knew all your favourites and you sat down and talked together.

 He was an idol who was in the unit Undead. Though in the eyes of most he was a merciless playboy, you knew it was all just a facade for the cameras.

He had eyes for you and you alone.

The place was great. It was quite popular among idols as well as it was a good hide away from the paparazzi. It was part of a chain owned by the Tomoe foundation whose second son was an idol, Hiyori Tomoe of Eden.

There was also a rumour that if you got lucky and were there at the right time, you could see the entirety of Eden sitting and eating together. 

In this case, it was the most unfortunate thing to happen to you.

“Oh, Kaoru, I didn’t expect to see you here,” a man with long

soft-looking silver hair and ruby red eyes that reminded you of one of Kaoru’s bandmates started up a conversation with Kaoru.

“And who is this?” A green-haired guy with pretty violet eyes asked, his head tilted and smiling. You almost mistook him for a woman, but then recognized him.

Hiyori Tomoe from Eden!

So then that silver-haired guy was… Nagisa Ran. Which meant the blue-haired one was Jun Sazanami, and the guy with glasses was Ibara Saegusa. The entirety of Eden which included the president of COSPRO, one of the big idol agencies.

Kaoru told them your name and followed it up with, “They’re my lover, we’re on a little outing.”

Then he took your chin in his hand and kissed you to prove it. Somehow, this boy could always make you feel butterflies no matter how long you were together.

You loved everything about him. His bright blond hair, his pretty amber eyes, the way he spoke to you. You could go on and on about your beautiful boyfriend.

You happily reciprocated and then kissed him on the cheek in return. A smile grew on your face at his affectionate antics.

Eden sat with you and instead of going on with your date with Kaoru, you got familiar with the entirety of Eden.

From that day on, the four of them seemed to randomly appear where you were: At a grocery store, the mall, even an Undead concert live.

Individually or all together, they appeared where you were.

Such a pretty little thing.

You were gorgeous.

Your voice was akin to a siren's.

So so pure. 

Not long and they already wanted to taint you.

Yet you were in the arms of that damn play boy. 

Didn't you know he was bad?

Did you want your heart broken?

You were their sweet little angel, sent from Heaven itself.

And a snake was tempting you.

No need to worry though. Adam and Eve wouldn't make the same mistake they did before.

They'd make sure to cut off that snake's head before it could lure you into the darkness.

The last thing you could remember was going home from somewhere, texting your boyfriend, and then darkness.

"Well then, since you're so good right now, I suppose we can take the blindfold and gag off you. No screaming or panicking. Or it goes back on," Ibara said, untying them and taking it off you. 

Your vision was a little blurry but got clearer with a bit of rubbing and blinking. Ibara Saegusa and Hiyori Tomoe. Sitting around you with soft smiles as though they hadn't just kidnapped you.

Hiyori reached out to you, petting your hair and cupping your cheek, squeezing lightly.

"Oh, you are adorable, aren't you, angel?" He said in response to your surprised look.

"They really are," Ibara said with a lovesick look on his face.

You felt your face heat and you looked down. This was embarrassing. You felt like nothing but a little pet for them. That was probably what they thought of you anyway…

You tried to speak, but all that came out was a small noise as something bigger caught your attention.

The door opened. 

The sheer amount of locks you heard on that thing was more terrifying than the situation itself. 

The rest of this god-forsaken idol group was here, great…

"Are they already cooperating? I expected us to only take off the gag after a couple of days," Nagisa asked. He was dressed in casual clothes, just a black hoodie and sweat pants… Nagisa never dressed like that… What did he do?

To your horror, you noticed one more thing. A few spots of deep blood red in otherwise spotless silver hair… 

You looked over to Jun. 

He was happy to make eye contact with you and smiled at you. He was in the same type of discreet outfit. His short blue hair looked a little messed up, as though he had been in a fight. As soon as you noticed, he quickly combed his hair back with his fingers.

You recognized blonde hair sticking to his hoodie…

No, it couldn't be.

That wasn't the right shade of blonde, was it?

Yeah, it had to have been someone else's.

Your face felt wet and your breath quickened. 

No, not Kaoru.

Anyone but Kaoru!

Anyone but your Kaoru…

"What-what did you do?" You asked, trying to convince yourself that all of this pointed to something completely normal and not involving your Kaoru.

"We just got rid of a snake in the garden, love," Nagisa said in a little lovesick tone. He kissed you on the cheek and smiled sweetly.

[lily-blade]

JUST REALIZED I NEVER TALKED ABOUT MY FUNKY SMG4 SHIP HERE YET SO UH. HERE I GO.

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT anti-SMG34 propaganda in any way, shape, or form. While it does contradict my ship, I do still greatly enjoy SMG34. Don't come at me for hating on it cuz I'm not. Thank u for understanding.

Anyway, rant under cut.

Oh hey, you actually clicked? SICK! Lemme tell you all about why I ship SMG3 X Luigi

Yes, I made a whole fucking image for this. It helps me get all my thoughts about this in order ok? Ok, let's go through all these pics clockwise starting from where my arm is because that makes sense to me.

ITEMS 1 & 2: Mario frequently picks on Luigi, and SMG4 picks on SMG3 just as often. This is more just common ground for them than anything else, so I think they'd sympathize with eachother pretty well.

ITEM 3: Luigi saw SMG3's browser history. However, while Mario, Meggy, & SMG4 reacted with shock & disgust, Luigi was aroused. (I could not think of a better way to put it I am so sorry) Also, while SMG3 did wipe the memories of the other 3, we never saw him wipe Luigi's mind. It's possible he either didn't know Luigi saw it or forgot he was there, but it's still ship fuel for me.

ITEMS 4 & 5: Ok, I know the Mario Does Stuff vids aren't really canon, but. When Luigi took off his shirt & there was a song singing about burying one's face in his chest, why was there a smiley face WEARING SMG3'S HAT?! I can't think of any heterosexual reason for this.

ITEM 6: When Meggy goes to push the button to reveal the bargain bin weapons, Luigi can be seen in the background in front of an SMG3 cardboard cutout. Idk for sure if he's checking out the merch or doing, uh... something else, but I can't help but wonder why he was put there in that moment. Just like the previous item, I can't think of any good reason for this.

In conclusion, I would not be surprised if all the SMG34 teasing was just build-up to SMG3 getting canonically paired with Luigi instead of SMG4. Again, this is not anti-SMG34 propaganda, and if I'm wrong, oh well, I still like SMG34 anyway.

Welp, that about wraps up my TED Talk. Lemme know what you guys think of my silly lil ship. Thank you so much for reading, I hope y'all have a great year :)

[fa-by]

Hiiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗. I'm back with a new Q&A post. Those who follow me already know that I haven't been well for quite some time now, and therefore also know that this is the reason for my delays in posting 😭.

Oh and, I apologize again to those Anons of the songs' analysis 😅. They're not even in this post 😅. Please forgive me guys 🙏🏼. Analysis are long and it was a mess to even post this between work and my bad health 😭. I'll make sure to have them ready for the next Q&A though. Sorry again 🙏🏼.

Now let's move on directly to the answers. Enjoy 🙃.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. Thank you so much 🤗 and yeah, of course you can DM me. I never appear to be online, but you can write to me whenever you want. I'll answer you as soon as I can 😉.

You can find the answer in the last ask https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/717423115134779392/hi-to-you-too-dear-anon-and-thank-you-very. Have a great day too, Anon.

I'm slowly getting better, Anon. I hope you're doing well.

Sorry, but the answer hasn't changed. In case you didn't see it in that post: ---please, please, please guys, don’t ask me to tell you the sites because I won’t. I don’t want any problems.

In addition I can only tell you that many sites get shut down or changed (or both) over the years, especially with the too much word-of-mouth. So I'm sorry but you have to find them on your own. Like I said, I don't want any problems.

Hiiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and I hope you're having a beautiful day too.

As for your question, I'm sorry, my dear 🥺. I'm so so sorry, but I don't understand what you're asking me. I really tried 😅 and forgive me 🙏🏼 but I just didn't understand. Could you please formulate the question better or give me an example?

Again, I'm sorry, I really am 😭.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. My girlfriend and I aren't having much luck with health lately 😅, especially me 😅😅, but I hope you are (healthy) 🙃.

To answer your question, no. All In My Feelings screams Camila in every letter 🤣😜.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. A little better, you?

And nope. I personally disagree with that theory I saw around a long time ago. That is Mila's point of view for me.

Hey to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. Thank you so much for your kind words and rest assured that I'll say hi from you to my gf live since she'll be staying here with me for 2 months 🥳.

About your question, I would very much love to help you and solve your doubts, believe me, but I'm sorry I don't know how 😅 because I don't have a specific context. Mila has been to Spain a looot of times, so if you could tell me specifically when and send me the pics of the phrases maybe, just maybe I might be able to help you 😄.

Good morning to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. This good morning I don't know why I swear but it's so new and refreshing, I love it 😍! Thank you, my dear Anon 🤩.

Anyway, the answer to your question is: on purpose of course 🤣.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I'm sorry, my dear, but you must have me confused with someone else because I never said anything like that.

I hope you're having a beautiful day too 😄.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and thanks, I'm trying. Short summary on the Camren songs you say? Okay, I'll do as I did with Prelude.

All In My Feelings: 2014

Always Love: 2016

Trust Issues: 2017

The One: 2018

My dear, who said I can't do the analysis?

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I'm sorry I can't be as present as before, but shouldn't you be happy that, even if not always, I'm here? Focus on the positive 😉.

1) [If, Lauren's new PR is ONLY to cover up camren-] and the songs (old and future ones), and their private life, yes.

[-why would Lauren do it again (she has denied it thousands of times camren)?]

Why would Lauren do it again, what? Why have a PR or why deny Camren? Sorry but I got confused 😅.

In any case, you can find the answer here in the first ask https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/717423115134779392/hi-to-you-too-dear-anon-and-thank-you-very.

2) [How long approximately do you think this PR of Lauren will last?]

I hope they've made a basic contract for at least one year's duration with no possibility of extending it beyond that, but I don't know. It'll depend on whether things go as planned or not.

3) [And how do you imagine the PR to end?]

I honestly don't cause I don't care 🤭🤣. No seriously tho 🤣. I see two possible roads connected to those indirects. **For those who don't know, I saw that there are people who think they broke up because of what they assumed were indirects of a breakup on IG.**

Road n°1: that was all PR bullshit as usual. Sasha's on tour with Madonna again and the two of them (L&S) can't see each other, ergo, they can't be seen together to the public like before. Ergo x2, there are other ways to publicize. People need to learn to remember that PRs feed and thrive on speculation and gossip. So ergo x3, nothing has changed because it was one of the many ways to get people to talk about the PR. The PR is still on.

Road n°2: a merge of everything I said in road n°1 + what I said in point 2). Let me explain better.

If my hope that they've made a basic contract for at least one year's duration with no possibility of extending it beyond that can be the reality, then it means that they're running out of time. Why? Because as I explained in my Laucy 2.O post, Lauren and Sasha supposedly got together on the night of December 18, 2021 (unless we’ll have anniversary posts in the future) but officially, the relationship was announced on February 14, 2023, on Valentine's Day.  February 2024 is not that far away. If that's why, December is right around the corner if they want to go ahead with that 🤣. But anyway. This means that they could've used the indirects both for publicity and to generate speculation as I said in road n°1, and to initiate the future official break-up. They could very well use the distance as an excuse for the breakup.

But again, who knows in the end 🤷🏻‍♀️. This could be an idea 😏.

Hello to you too, dear @camilalauren0327 👋🏼😄, and thank you.

It can be both, although it's rarer. It's usually the inside people who've worked on it with her in a personal way who are the ones looking for potential buyers. By inside people I mean producers and writers by the way. I'd also remind you tho that this is only possible if Mila is super sure she doesn't want a song anymore. Because if she's attached to it or just wants to reuse it in the future for lyrics or whatever, then the sale isn't even a thought.

You’re welcome, my dear 🤗, anytime.

Hello again, my dear @camilalauren0327 👋🏼😄. My health is improving a little and I hope yours is waaaay better than mine 😊.

1) Chronologically speaking, no. Neither Lauren nor Camila have ever released songs in order. It's more evident with Mila because we have a lot more of her songs, but they both release songs about different situations that happened even in different years. If they were to release them in chronological order, the lies would be all too obvious even to the general public. Instead, in this way, it's easier to hide the truth and mix it with the narratives and their PRs. It's simply up to us to put the pieces together.

2) In the AMAs interview (Oct 9, 2018) with Chelsea Briggs for Billboard, Laur said she'd written 40 songs. Of those 40 songs, and taking away the ones she'd already released, 5 were chosen for Prelude. In December 2021 in the interview with Zach Sang, she said she still had about 50 songs done. In the interview with People (May 26, 2023) (https://people.com/lauren-jauregui-on-working-with-ex-ty-dolla-amid-new-relationship-exclusive-7504696) she said: “I haven't really written a lot since 2020” and explained that In Between “It’s in between the time of Prelude and the actual official debut album”. And in the one with Galore (Jun 20, 2023) (https://galoremag.com/lauren-jauregui-releases-her-newest-ep-in-between-and-talks-about-new-music-love-whats-next/) she said: “These songs have actually been sitting with me since 2018/2019”.

Now what do I want to tell you with this? That Prelude and In Between are the same thing. They're part of the same era. Imagine them together as one album and not as two separate projects, also because that was her initial intent. Even the album we'll get will most likely be part of Prelude and In Between as a whole.

3) It may be as it may not be, my dear 💁🏻‍♀️. We're still getting pieces of their story from both of them, and Laur has basically just started, so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I hope I've helped you as you wanted 😉.

Hi again, my dear K 👋🏼😄.

[Hi faby sorry to hear u were ill again I hope ur feeling better now and are taking care of yourself. Glad u remembered me and I also send a virtual hug back ❤️]

🤗🤗🤗🤗

[So the reason I’m not adopting another cat is bc my cat that died Rocky I have her brother still as I adopted them together and he won’t accept another and honestly he’s a little shit 😂]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 By the way, if I'd known that you have the brother, I'd never have advised you to adopt a new one, especially since he's a little shit and I dare not imagine what he would do to the newcomer 🙈🤣. 

[but I will again I also would love to adopt a dog bur again can’t with him and where I live my landlord don’t allow dogs 🙄]

Let's hope that one day you will also because as a dog lover, I can tell you that having a cat and having a dog are two completely different things 🤣. You'll see hopefully someday 🤞🏼🥰.

[Ur thoughts “🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh yeah? And who told them that? Lauren or Camila? Or both of them? Over text, call, or video call? 🤣.” Was exactly my thoughts when I read that theory 🤣🤣 they must of read too many fanfics 😂 then 🙄 this is why we get called delusional 😂]

Yeah, unfortunately 🙄.

[Ur right about fans leaving L she has always been like this just maybe when she was in 5H their team controlled what she posted/says in a way but I am curious as to why she hasn’t changed her image yet and thought she would now being independent she could show more of her true self and stop coming across as a hypocrite but again I never really thought until u mentioned it that’s she comfortable doing what she is and she knows sexualising herself sales. If I’m not mistaken I believe she even posted in her caption b4 how when she posts sexy pics etc it has triple the likes then her music etc does.]

Exactly 😎.

[I also found it hilarious how C’s fans act when she spent all that time in New York getting papped multiple times a day everyday with yoghurt then they split then C disappears from earth and they complain🤣🤣🤣 I don’t understand how they can be so stupid every single time it happens and don’t even get me started on his fans 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ saying C’s the attention seeker and she needs him to be successful 😂 like he wasn’t papped walking shirtless conveniently on a hiking trail completely empty but somehow a pap just so happens to be there🤣🤣🤣🤣 u can’t make this shit up]

Yeah sure, she's so much attention seeker that I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times she's been papped since they ‘broke up’ again 🤦🏻‍♀️. Contrary to mister please give me attention that three people's fingers wouldn't be enough 🤣. But anyway, you said it yourself: people are stupid 💁🏻‍♀️.

[Also have u heard the AI songs of Camren that shit is good-]

I've listened to them since day one and I keep progressively doing so as new versions come out 😍. And yep, you're absolutely right.

[-and makes me wish they would do a song together better yet a whole ass album can u imagine that?]

Wouldn't that be a dream for all of us 🤣?

[Do u think Camren have heard them? I’m also surprised they haven’t done anything about it.]

Heard or not, they can't do anything about it 🤷🏻‍♀️. Exactly like all the other singers this is happening to. It's still publicity if you think about it.

[I am excited for C’s new music and I hope they give her more freedom where she can really show of her writing and don’t know about u but I would love for her to do some rock/edgy songs. Her NBTS is still one of my favs]

Absofuckinglutely! NBTS as well as Shameless which is one of my favorites, although Shameless is more pop punk rock with a darker edge. I'd love it if she continued to do that and also to re-explore other genres. Like, for example, something trap like in OMG, or electropop like in Crown, or even afrobeat, something new that as a former dancer literally knocked me down, like she did in Ku Lo Sa. *Can you tell that I love everything she does? 😅*

And don't get me wrong, I love love LOVE that she’s primarily a pop singer. That's the main reason why I discovered 5H in the first place in the far back March 2016. I'm just saying that along with pop, I hope she continues to explore other genres and not focus solely on Latin songs like she did for the most part with Familia. Again, don't get me wrong. I love and adore her Latin songs as well and I also understand that she wanted to integrate her culture more into the last album, and I loved them all. I'm just saying that I'd like her to continue to integrate and explore genres in a more varied way (including the Latin ones) as she did before Familia. That's all 😄.

[Hope ur having a nice day/night and are feeling better 😘]

Thank you so much, you're always super kind 🤩. I hope you're doing very well and I hope you're having a nice day/night too 😘. Virtual hug 🤗.

[HIIII Faby!!! 💜💜💜 ​Me again :P I hope u feel much better and healthier since last time .]

HIIII to you too, my dear purple heart Anon 👋🏼😄. I actually do, thanks 🤗. I'm unfortunately still not 100% yet because it's a long healing process, but I'm better 😊.

[1THANK U SO MUCH for exposing Lauren and Sasha's fake relationship like I asked u to!!!! I'm sure you'll have made many people in doubt happy and u made me laugh a lot as always🤣 .]  

1) It's always a pleasure to help you guys when I can 🥰 and I'm happy to have made you laugh as you hoped, my dear 😉.

[2Wha do u think of the Camren AI images? Aren't they the most beautiful thing?]

2) I obviously loooove them 😍🤩😍🤩 and yeah, they're beautiful 😍🤩😍🤩.

[And of course Camila stays silent while Lauren blocks CS 🤣 .]

Well 🤣 that hasn't changed from the past, right? At least it's a great way to get people to talk about them and keep the fandom alive and they both know it 🤭.

[3Did u see Lauren's last zoom cause OMG 🤣 I thought of u! She was talking about divine energies and said "we all have masculine and feminine within us , we all have to balance these energies in order to be in a space of clarity within ourselves". I rememberd that an anon told u the opposite in an ask and I went to look for your answer because I remembered that u proved them wrong and u were right as always🤣 I mean guys Faby said this 2 years ago and Lauren confirmed it now 0.0 .]

3) I did see it, my dear 😁. I'm surprised you remembered that 🤣. You have an excellent memory!

For those who don't know, the purple heart Anon refers to the LimeWire Zoom that occured on Sep 28, 2023, while this is the ask I answered  https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/669510575975546880/hey-babies-and-dear-anons-welcome-to-a-new (third to last ask, the one before the two analyses).

[I don't know how u do it honestly Faby . It looks like u have a special and deep understanding of both Camrens as people and I'm always blown away by how u get it right. That's why I trust u completely :D .]

Thank you so much for trusting me completely, my 💜 Anon. It warms my heart 😍😍. And honestly? I think I have it (the special and deep understanding of both Camren as people). And I'm absolutely not saying this to brag or anything like that, I swear. I like to think that I have it because of my personal experiences, because of how I see life, and especially because I love them and have studied them and have always paid attention (even before Laur said so in that tweet).

[For this I wanna thank u .]

No, my dear, THANK YOU ❤️.

[Thnk u for always being available to answer our asks and for always being kind to us.]

I'll always be (unless someone is disrespectful).

[Thank u for always being objective no matter what even when it goes against Camren & their being together and what other CS say .]

I don't lie and I'm pretty realistic as you've perfectly noticed. If something didn't happen, I say so. If something is just a made-up fantasy, I have no problem debunking it. If delusional shit is said just to get attention, I have no trouble telling it like it is.

I don't care. I don't care about any of that. I don't care about the fanfiction imagination that lots of CS unfortunately have of them. I mean, do I want them to be end-game? Hell yeah! But I know there's a chance they might not be. Just as I know that they've both been and that there's a chance that they'll be with other people in the future as has already happened in the past when they broke up.

I just care about the truth, because they're people. They're two flesh-and-blood people with their own lives and their own feelings, and a lot of people still don't understand that. So thank you, my dear. I'm happy that there are people like you who also appreciate my objectivity ❤️.

[Thank u for always being truthful in what u think and always showing proofs of what u say.]

Always ❤️.

[Thank u thank u thank u so much in general I don't know what we'd do without u and your posts. At least me :P .]

And again, no, my dear, THANK YOU ❤️. Thank you for always being kind and polite to me. Thank you for your concern for my health. Thank you for all the ‘HIIII’s I know you write on purpose to distinguish yourself from those you know who don't even greet me before asking. Thank you for all the asks you've been sending me over the years. Thank you for believing in me because, honestly? It's thanks to you and those like you that I'm still here. So THANK YOU in general!❤️

[Have a beautiful day be safe I love u and say hi to your gf. 😘]

Have a beautiful day too 🙃. I'll say hi to my girlfriend when I'll let her read the post live 😄. I love you too, be safe too and take care of yourself 😘.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[hunted-moth]

Forest Of Dreams Part One: A Shit Place

Summary// after the death of your older brother tom, you and Jake talk about life and catch up

Word Count// 1.3k words( 1,317 idk how to shorten it :| )

Warnings// Cursing, death(toms “funeral” and how he died), Bad writing(maybe), drinking, small fight scene- let me know if I should add anything else -3-

A/N // I want to be gay with Neytiri and I can only find poly reader stuff :’) so I’m writing it myself! But beware I’m dyslexic and had shit education so if it’s weird to read that’s why. Oh and the banner was made by me but the pics are from the game pandora rising and a clip from the movie

“YO TOM, I'M HOME, YA HERE?”

you said walking through the door, silence. ‘Strange, But oh well he's a grown man after all. He can do what he wants” you thought

as you walk to the kitchen to get something to eat and grab a drink. As you got to the fridge you saw a note:

‘Went to the store be right back for more food :D’

“oh, so that's where he is,” saying out loud. You open the fridge and grabbed a pop and a pudding cup and go to plop down on the couch. You just got back from your avatar training. You were going to Pandora as a Xenogeologist. you did ok with said training but the language was a bit difficult to grasp.

you finished the snack and opened a laptop to study and practice said language, but just as you were about to start, a knock at the door interrupted. A sigh escaped your lips as you got up and opened the door with some sass.

“Are you Y/N Sully” two men in suits greeted you at the door, “yeah what do you want?” attitude rolled off your tongue

“Is your brother Tom Sully, age 22”, “yeah, what about him?” you asked warily

“He’s dead, stabbed in a mugging gone wrong,” one agent said with zero emotion as if he had said it a dozen times already, “he's at the morgue if you'd like to see him,” the other said

*

At the morgue, you looked down at the box that was about to be pushed into the inferno you tried calling jake but he never answered

you looked over to see that none other than your older brother jake rolled in with two agents.

“We're looking for Sully T” the agent's voice boomed, you recognized them as an RDA agent.

“Yeah over here”.

“Jesus Tommy” “yeah, two cops came to our place, said he was stabbed by some thug for his cash” was all that was said between the two.

You heard the two agents talk to Jake about replacing Tom in the avatar program. You just tuned it out and thought of what to do, you had three days till you were shipped out. you had just graduated college a few months ago, so had a shit ton of free time. Then a thought popped into your head.

“Hey Jake, wanna go get a drink?” a smirk formed on your lips

“what? Aren't you 20 though” jakes face was confused, both from the fact he was already drunk and the fact you were two years younger than him

but with a shit-eating grin, you pulled out your wallet to show your fake ID

“don't worry, i'll be fine,” you said with a smile

“Jesus N/N” jake couldn't help but chuckle

“Relax, besides I turn 21 in a few months. Plus we get shipped out in three days, so why not live a little”

He only shook his head with a smile “fine” was his final answer

“nice let's go to this bar I know, two streets down I think”

Location–Cherry Tops Bar

“TO TOMMY” both of you toasted to his memory, then took a swig of the liquor

“So how’d you get a fake id,” he asked “ahh I knew some art majors back in college, had them whipped one up for me when I was 18”

“Good lord Y/N, you graduate high school at 16 with that brain of yours and you get an id to drink”

“Hey, at least I waited, 'cause I seem to remember you coming home drunk” pointing out his hypocrisy seemed to get a laugh outta ya.

Growing up it was just you three, so, of course, you'd pick up both traits of your brothers

“So how ya been anyway,” you asked Jake, the two of you hadn't talked in months. Jake sighed saying

“same old same old,” he said with a gloomy face

“ah well, that's gonna change in about three days and about 6 years from now” you both laughed with jake returning your question to you

“oh you know, I finished college about two months ago, Zoe and I broke up, and got my ears stretched” “oh you and Zoe broke up?” “yeah, just didn't feel anything anymore, plus I'm leaving for what 16-18 years so might as well call it off,” you said with a neutral expression, sure she was a nice girl beautiful too. There just wasn’t anything there anymore

As you and Jake were getting caught up in your lives, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked over to see some dude looking down at you with a stupid smile clearly drunk. You recognized him as a former classmate, he was a known creep who'd get up in everyone's space

“Ya need something dude?” there was a hint of annoyance in your tone as you shrugged off his hand

“yeah, Just need you in my bed tonight” he wore a sleazy grin while looking at your chest

“ah sorry man, I already got your Ma in mine, can't keep her waiting, right bro,” you said as you looked at your brother to continue your joked

“yeah sis, let's bounce and go to yours,” he said with a playful smirk

Obviously, he was a momma's boy and didn’t take kindly to calling his mom a whore as he looked at the two of you, he looked like he was about to punch you, and when he eventually did, you swung back faster.

Knocking him to the ground. His buds went to help him by knocking you down but Jake had your back by wheeling into them. You straddled the guy getting a few licks in before you were pulled off by the bouncer and you and Jake were thrown out. You got up laughing while helping Jake up.

“Why don't you crash at my place till it's time to go, bet you still live in that shoe box” you offered

“Yeah sure, i'll head to my place and pack up tomorrow” he agreed, and started rolling away

“sounds like a plan”

Location– Y/Ns and Tom's apartment

The apartment was small but still bigger than jakes. It had two rooms and a closed bathroom but was still small though with little space for anything else, but since Y/N and Tom were out of the house all the time it didn't matter.

“Hmm kinda cozy” jake commented

“Yeah, and pretty cheap for what it is. You can sleep on the couch ". You moved the coffee table so Jake could have a place for his wheelchair. Then retired to your room to sleep. As you were sleeping, you had a dream, you were in a jungle. You heard giggling and it ran off as you chased it into the forest. Then you woke up.

Location– Jakes Place

In the morning you and Jake went to his place to help him pack up.

“wow, I really do forget that you literally live in a shoe box” you looked around his place, it was an open floor plan, and very cramped

“shut up,” Jake said as he pinched you

“OW,” you yelped.

It was a quick activity as he didn't have much to his name. As you two head to your house you thought about the dream again. Jake noticed and asked:

“Hey, what's up? Been spacing off all morning,” he asked concerned

“hmm oh nothing, had that forest dream again,” you said nonchalantly as if it was breathing

“Wow, this is like what? The hundredth time” he joked. You've been having this dream since you were a kid. Sometimes you'd be flying, running, or swimming after someone. Your mother always said that it was god giving you dreams of the past, but you wrote it off as just a random recurring dream, stemming from the fact you like nature.

Jake only nodded as you two made it to your door. You decided to order some food and just relax for the day.

It felt weird to you, Jake and Tom were identical twins, but Jake had longish hair. So seeing him do the same routine as Tommy gave you a sense of Deja Vu.

Once you finished you retired to your room to get some studying in and rest. As of tomorrow, you and Jake would be put in cryosleep as you journeyed to pandora.

Next // PT 2 New Life New Dreams

Previous // N/A

Taglist//

//Masterlist//

A/N// First chapter :D good god is this short, this also might be bad…but oh well you start from somewhere lol and it will be longer lol

I've got some ideas for pt 2 but if you have some feel free to give them to me. Oh and this fic was inspired by ‘Dream Girl’ by omgkatherine01. Like I said inspired so some things might by similar haha

[bluejay-writes]

Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 9

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen Chapter 9 Wordcount: 2992 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael Summary: Turns out demons aren't very good at writing ethics papers, but Jake looks damn good in spandex. You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!

First Chapter || Prev Chapter || Next Chapter > (Next Tuesday!)

Chapter 9 - Dear Jakey, Sweater Paws

“Jakeyyy~!” Aya crowed as she practically danced in circles around him. “You brought me lunch? This is the sweetest thing a human has ever done for me!”

Jake laughed. Bunny had literally left him holding the bag - of chicken strips. Her phone rang as they got back to the dorm, and she took her lunch and disappeared to who knows where. Probably some kind of workout session, knowing her. Yoga, maybe. Anyway, now he got to deal with the entire force of Aya’s personality all by himself. He should be scandalized or horrified or even just being sarcastic but he was honestly just happy. Aya was a fun friend, and her energy was contagious.

“I may have carried it, but Bunny paid for it.” Jake said, not about to take credit for generosity that wasn’t his. 

“Aw, she’s the sweetest. She always thinks I need to eat more so that I, how did she put it, bulk up properly? Something about sick gains. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m just destined to be tiny. Doesn’t matter what or who I eat, this is the size I am.”

“Well, you’re adorable and even if I could change you, I wouldn’t.” Jake said, handing the girl a sweet tea.

“Oh, you charmer! You’re just lucky you’re the gayest thing since Elton John.”

Jake considered. “Wait. Gayer than Lil Nas X?”

“…Who?” Aya blinked, and then shrugged, and Jake realized that he had some educating to do.

“You seriously don’t know who… oh, honey.” Jake reached for his phone only to realize that he didn’t have it because Gabriel was trying to fix it.

“Jake, where’s your phone?”

“Broken.” He muttered. “It wouldn’t turn on this morning. Gabriel’s looking at it, but I have felt completely naked without it today. I’ll text you some pics of Lil Nas X once I get it back.”

“Yes, please. He sounds intriguing. Well anyway, you won’t need your phone to do classwork, but I need you for it. Please, for the love of all that’s unholy help me with this ethics paper I’m dying.”

Jake laughed and let himself be led to the lounge - the best place to both eat their lunch and work on homework. 

It took most of the afternoon to get through writing their ethics papers, Aya was exactly as clueless about Celestial Realm ethics as Jake would expect a demon to be, so it was more like a tutoring session that he also wrote a paper during. Which was fine, honestly, Aya was great company. And they got the work done, so he really had nothing to complain about. Except possibly not having his phone.

As Jake was taking his study materials back to his room, Gabriel called out to him.

“Hey, Jake. I’ve got your device.”

“Oh, cool!” He said, glad that he would soon be able to message his family again. And text Aya those pictures. Seriously. How did she not know modern rappers? “Let me just set these things down. C’mon in.”

Gabriel followed him into the room, waiting patiently while Jake set his armload of notebooks and study materials on his desk before turning back to the angel.

“So, what was wrong with it?”

“I have no idea.” Gabriel said, a vague irritation in his tone that Jake knew wasn’t at him, but at the vagaries of broken technology. “I tried everything I could to diagnose the issue, but you may as well have handed me an expensive brick this morning for all the good it did me. Luckily, I could swap the storage media into a new device, so you’re back up and running relatively quickly.”

“Huh. Uh, well thanks for getting me a new one, then? And if you ever do figure out what I did to break that one, let me know? That way I don’t give you a second expensive brick.”

Gabriel grinned at that, and Jake was happy to see it.

“Gabriel.” Michael called from his office, and the angel stepped inside.

“You called, Michael?”

“Yes. Sometime last night I lost my connection to Jacob’s C.C.C. I think something may have happened to the oversight application.”

Gabriel winced. He was hoping that Michael wouldn’t notice the change, because it would mean that the angel wasn’t as obsessively cyber-stalking their new exchange student as much as Gabriel just knew he would be.

“Ah, well, actually…” He sighed. “The C.C.C. that Jake was using broke, and so—“

“It broke? Did he throw it against a wall or something?”

Gabriel cleared his throat, adjusted his glasses, and continued what he was saying. “Something in the internals fried overnight while it was charging. I haven’t had a chance to pinpoint the exact problem, but I moved his data into a new device. Unfortunately, I forgot about the oversight application as I had too much on my mind today. I can get it back from him for some ‘preventative maintenance’ if you would like me to get the application added back, but I can’t guarantee he won’t notice at that point.”

Michael muttered something under his breath that Gabriel didn’t catch, but shook his head. “No, it’s fine. The oversight of the exchange students is Raphael’s responsibility now, I suppose I should have transferred the oversight application to him regardless. Do check in with him, he may want you to add it back.”

“I’ll check with him this evening, then. Is there anything else?”

“No, that was all. Thank you, Gabriel.”

Free time wasn’t something that Jake got a lot of, and so on nights like tonight when he had all of his homework done and had nothing else going because everyone else was busy with their own things. So there he lay, like a starfish on his way-too-big bed, thinking about the mischief he, Nia, and the girls could be getting up to if only he weren’t in this hell masquerading as heaven called the Celestial Realm.

Nia > Jake: Jaaaaaake Jake > Nia: Hey girl, what’s up? Nia > Jake: I need help

Jake stared at his phone. How was he supposed to help his bestie from all the way up here in the Celestial Realm? He supposed he could call her mother and exert some influence that way.

Jake > Nia: Are you hurt? Should I call someone? Nia > Jake: No. I… I kissed Satan tonight.

Oh. OH. That kind of help. He was here for this. So much better than any other conversation he could be having at this point.

Jake > Nia: Tell me everything.

For the next hour, Jake and Nia talked back and forth. She’d found herself falling in love with the very demon she’d sent her first Devildom-selfie of. But he’d known that she had feelings for Mammon as well. Add that to the amount of time she’d been spending working out with Beelzebub (mirroring his own time with Bunny, he’d not hesitated to tell her in his amusement) and it was a very complicated time for his naïve bestie.

After hearing her out, he gave her the best advice he possibly could in the situation. He didn’t know really anything about Demon relationships, but he knew that Nia was an incredibly open-minded but self-sacrificing girl, and needed to be encouraged to do things that were good for her and not just for everyone else. Also, she was going to be there an entire year, but only a year. So she should live it up and not be afraid to make mistakes.

Jake > Nia: Girl, you’re far too caring for your own good. You’re in literal hell. If you feel like kissing boys, kiss boys! Jake > Nia: But if you feel more than just kissing, if you actually think you might like one of them, you have to talk to them about it. I bet there’s a lot more to it for them to be with a human.

Nia didn’t respond after that, but given how late it was, he wasn’t really surprised. She’d probably fallen asleep. Which was a thing he should probably also think about doing, because he had a run planned with Bunny and Aya bright and early in the morning.

Jake woke, hopped out of bed and into his workout clothes. Which were the jeans and t-shirt he’d been wearing when he got teleported here. He still hadn’t figured out if there was a way for him to go shopping - he didn’t have any spending money. Well, he had the $10 that lived in the coin pocket of his jeans for emergencies, but he had the distinct impression that human world money was going to be useless here.

A soft knock at his door told him the demon girls had arrived, and he swung the door open, waving as he bent down to tie his shoes.

“Glad to have you joining us this morning, Aya!” Jake said quietly but energetically.

“Jake.” Aya said, and the deadpan tone of her voice made him stop and look up at her. “You are not seriously working out in jeans.”

“Yep.” he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s that or uniform khakis, and…”

“Ew.” Aya said with a shiver. “I have spare workout clothes. They’ll fit you.” She grabbed his hand and practically dragged him behind her up the stairs to her room. She didn’t seem to care that his shoes were still untied. Maybe it was for the best, if he was changing.

Aya let him go once they were in her room, pulled out one of the drawers of her dresser and threw a pair of black/white/vibrant blue color blocked leggings and a practically paper thin long-sleeved top in a coordinating black at him. 

“Change.”

Jake blinked. “Here?”

“Duh, idiot. I’m not into you, you’re not into me, get on with it we’re wasting day— shit, I was going to say we’re wasting daylight but I could just dump all the daylight out and still have too much.”

“I miss the moon.” Bunny said sadly from the doorway.

Jake pulled his top and jeans off in record time, and shimmied into the spandex-heavy leggings that fit him like a surprisingly comfortable glove, at a nice capri-length. Then he pulled the top over his head. It did not fit him near as well, seeming more 3/4 sleeved and crop-top length.

“Uh… I’m not sure if…” He said, awkwardly, trailing off less because he didn’t know what to say and more because he got to watch Aya shift into and then promptly right back out of her demon form.

“Be sure. Those look better on you than they ever did on me. They’re yours now. I never want to see them unless they’re on your body or the floor.”

“Wait, why the floor? And are you okay?”

“She lied about not being into you. She thinks you’re sexy, but she respects that you’re gay. Don’t worry about it.” Bunny said with a chuckle. “Can we run now?”

One good run later, Jake and his demon girls were heading back to their rooms to change for breakfast. It was a day off of classes, so Jake had agreed to not only the morning run but also spotting weights for Bunny after breakfast. He wasn’t going to change out of his workout clothes, but he wanted to grab his hoodie to keep his midriff covered for breakfast. And, because the cool indoor temperatures were going to chill him down pretty fast, so he needed something more than an almost-present workout top.

He said ‘his hoodie’ but of course it was one of Bunny’s that she’d loaned him early on when she learned he didn’t have one. So, he was practically drowning in the oversized thing, conveniently hiding most of his workout clothes from his dormmates’ prying eyes. Which, if Aya’s reaction when he’d first put them on was anything to go by, was probably a good thing.

Just as he was picking his phone back up with his sweater-paws, it chimed in his hand. Nia was awake, and messaging him. He pushed his sleeves up so he could type back to her, leaning on the wall while he waited for Aya to come back downstairs so they could walk to breakfast together.

Nia > Jake: Thanks, Jake. You’re the best, you know that? Jake > Nia: Of course I know that! I’m happy to help, just keep talking to me okay? Nia > Jake: Duh! Oh, hey, I’m gonna ask Diavolo if I can get some of my books from home, is there anything you want from home while I’m asking? Jake > Nia: Girl Scout Cookies? Nia > Jake: I will do my very best to acquire cookies. Jake > Nia: Thanks!!!!

As Aya started down the stairs in front of him, Jake went to put his phone in his pocket. Of course, he fumbled it, sending the brand new device skittering across the floor.

“That’s why we have cases.” Aya said, bending down to pick his phone up from where it slid to a stop by her feet, unashamedly reading the messages from Nia that were up on the screen. Jake was suddenly glad that a majority of their conversation about kissing demons had scrolled off the top with their talk about home.

“Oh! I always wanted to know this, and you can tell me!” She said, as she handed him his phone back. “Are girl scout cookies made with girl scouts, the way chocolate chip cookies are made with chocolate chips?”

Jake looked up at her, suddenly wondering if she meant literally. The shit-eating grin on her face told him she definitely didn’t mean it.

“No, and they aren’t even baked by girl scouts anymore. They’re just small batch shelf-stable cookies that support little girls doing outdoorsy shenanigans.”

Aya stuck her tongue out at him for not playing along, and they shared a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Bunny asked, as they met up just outside the dining room.

“Jake’s friend is going to have cookies sent for him!” Aya said, and Jake mirrored her previous action and stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m trying to. Who knows what Nia can pull, you know?”

For not the first time, Jake wished that he could leave a meal early. He’d finished eating five minutes ago, but he wasn’t allowed to leave for another five. It felt like an eternity and a waste of his precious, mortal life. He dropped his super-long sleeves over his hands, returning to his comfort-place of sweater-paws, and put his head down on the table where his plate used to be, before Bunny swiped it to steal his leftover syrup. After the day she’d eaten an entire bottle of syrup on her pancakes they started limiting how much she could have, and Jake hated that, so he always took too much so she could have his extra.

He chuckled behind his sleeves, remembering the first time he’d offered his extra syrup to Bunny, the way Gabriel’s face had tensed up. The IT angel thought the idea of sharing the leftover syrup on his plate was the grossest thing he’d ever seen. Jake was just glad he didn’t let his squicks about food keep him from being willing to fix Jake’s tech when it failed him.

When he looked over to see if Gabriel was being grossed out as usual, instead his eyes caught on Raphael’s. The discipline angel was looking curiously at his sweater-paws, so Jake flopped them out at the angel and made a face. “Nyaa.” He winked, causing Raphael to look away awkwardly. Well. Maybe he wasn’t a fan of sweater paws. Why did I wink at him?! Well, that was obvious. Because that was his usual. Being a bratty kitty with his sweater paws at Nia’s sisters, and then winking at Nia when she teased him about it. It was reflex. Just reflex.

When lunch finally adjourned, Jake helped clear the dishes to the kitchen - he was on dishes duty with Azrael today.

“Hey, Az. Erm, Azrael, sorry.” He said, greeting the angel who was transferring any leftover food into containers to store in the refrigerator.

“Jake.” She smiled at him, not acknowledging his slip into habitual nicknaming. “I saw you take too much syrup for Yboun’dih again this morning.”

“What can I say?” he shrugged. “Gotta look out for the little guy.”

“I don’t know whether to take that as that I should keep my guard up around you, or that you somehow consider that demoness the underdog in the situation. She certainly isn’t little.” Azrael was laughing softly, so Jake wasn’t worried that she was actually concerned, and flailed his sweater-paws in her direction. “Okay, and also where did you get a sweater that is that large on you? Oh wait. It’s in return for your syrup tithe, isn’t it.”

Jake chuckled and shook his head. “Bunny just realized I was cold one day and didn’t have a sweatshirt, so loaned me one of hers. If I tuck my knees up to my chest I can basically hide all of me inside of it without stretching it, it’s great!”

“Okay, Sweater Kitten. Come dry dishes so we can both get on with our day.”

Jake set his sweatshirt aside and worked side-by-side with Azrael on the dishes in companionable silence. He really felt like he’d made friends with the angel of death. Though, just thinking of her as the angel of death made him wonder if he’d somehow dreamed the whole thing. He should ask her about what it meant to be the angel of death at some point. Like, she’d said she didn’t like talking to mortals because of it, but he knew nothing about what she actually did, and he cared enough about her to want to find out. Next time, though. He wanted to give the conversation the time and attention it deserved, and Bunny was waiting for him in the common room.

[binch-i-might-be]

RAY hewwo i am. Planning on getting a tattoo (not now obviously but like when im in uni probably) what’s ur advice on Getting Stabbed with Ink

okay so like. first of all do your research!! if you already have a particular style in mind, find an artist who does a lot of that. look at their portfolio on instagram. see if they post healed tattoos too (if they Don't. well ask yourself why not!)

before your appointment EAT A GOOD MEAL. DRINK WOTER. tattoo artists do not enjoy when you pass out!!!! getting a tattoo is super upsetting to The Body because it's basically inflicting an injury, it fucks with your circulation a lot. tattoo artists will also offer you something to drink and sometimes even sweets to keep your blood sugar up during the appointment, and for the first time I would recommend taking them up on that because you don't know yet how your body will react.

also don't be afraid to ask for a break for any reason. a good artist will tell you this before they start too.

you will bleed btw. some artists have told me that first time clients are sometimes surprised about this. the bleeding will increase the farther you get into the tattoo too as your body becomes more pissed lol.

as they go, they'll wipe your tattoo down A Lot to get the excess ink and blood out of the way, and that shit really starts to hurt after some time! be prepared!

when the deed is done, they'll usually let the tattoo rest for a few minutes and then take some pics. and then they'll wrap it up!

now there's two (three?) options here. either they'll go old school and just wrap that thang in cling wrap and tape it in place, which is a lot of work for you, or they'll slap on second skin.

the cling wrap is in my experience not as common these days, but safer when you already know you could have an allergic reaction to second skin (bad!). you can leave that on for a couple hours, but then you'll have to take it off and gently clean the area under running warm (not hot) water, then maybe let it breathe a bit, but DEFINITELY wrap it back up. a fresh tattoo is an open wound, and you need to protect it from outside grime lol. you'll have to do that every couple hours for a few days. you will leak Tattoo Goop. you will most likely need to sleep on a towel. it's generally not too much fun but what can ya do!

second skin on the other hand is way easier. it's a sticky transparent foil they just put On There and then it stays On There for up to seven days (depends on the brand). you can shower with it on and everything. it'll fill up with Tattoo Goop but it's fine, it won't really bother you. it's best taken off under warm running water. sometimes it leaves a sticky residue but that'll fall off in time.

now for the secret third option, this has only happened to me once. the artist slapped a Thing that was basically a big fat menstrual pad on me and then wrapped me up in cling wrap. that thing absorbed the Tattoo Leakage for the first couple hours, but from then on, it was normal cling wrap business. I was very confused by this!

artists will give you instructions on aftercare and probably recommend some creams. basically just wash that thang with water (and unscented soap? I don't do that, just use water) and put some tattoo aftercare cream on top. thin layer, we don't want to smother it.

I usually do that for uhhh as long as it feels right basically lol. maybe a week or two after the second skin comes off? a tattoo will need about six to eight weeks to fully heal, but it doesn't need intensive care the entire time.

oh and there is an itchy stage. it will drive you insane <3

now for a more unfun addendum, the tattoo industry is RIFE with racism. some artists think they can't tattoo people who are not paper white because the colours won't show up properly. this is because they're bad artists and don't know what they're doing.

try to look for artists who do have darker skin tones in their portfolio so you can be sure they aren't cunts and won't fuck you over.

anyway I think that's all. hope this helped!