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pascalpanic · 4 years

Note

Here for the sentence starters!! "I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater" and "I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what do do." Feel free to do both or either or whatever you prefer with either of the Marcuses! I'm in such a fluffy mood rn and these will make my day :)) (PS I adore you and I hope you have a good day xx)

Making Moves (Marcus Moreno x f!Reader)

Summary: Your neighborhood superhero, Marcus Moreno, is being nagged by his daughter to find love. Lucky for him, just the right woman moves in down the street.

W/C: 2.7k

Warnings: language, brief talks of death (just to refer to Marcus’s wife who passed away), brief mentions of sexual stuff. it’s tame.

A/N: THIS WAS SO FUN. I love some good Marcus Moreno. He’s such a cutie and these prompts made it so fun! You can still send me prompts from this list with a character, just mind the taken ones! p.s. my emotional support Brit @maxlordsgf see how I used patio/backyard??

The Moreno household was cozy. You wondered if it was Marcus who’d decorated the beautiful home, or if his late wife. You supposed it didn’t matter. You would’ve liked the former Mrs. Moreno, if Marcus could love her like he did.

He lived a few houses down from you. You’d moved in a couple of months ago, into the nice Craftsman style home you currently rented. The best thing about the house was the beautiful front porch, which exposed the lovely suburban neighborhood. The porch had come with a swing, and you’d decided that it’d have to be your new morning coffee spot. After all, this is California, where the sun was plentiful and the air was just cold enough to be refreshing in the mornings.

The time that you drank your coffee on the porch also happened to be the time that your neighborhood Heroic, Marcus, went for his morning runs. He’d been excited to see that the house was sold, and Missy was too. They planned on bringing over some sweets once you were settled. Several weeks after the sold sign went up, he saw you for the first time.

You looked like an angel, he thought. You wore a fuzzy robe with patterned capri pajama pants peeking from beneath it. Your glasses rested on the bridge of your nose, slightly fogged from the steam of your coffee. You sat on your porch swing, knees pulled to your chest, reading from your tablet. He was immediately caught off-guard. Your new home was at the beginning of his running path, but his breath was already gone from his lungs from your beauty.

Pushing his own glasses up his nose, he gave you a little wave as you looked up. You’d smiled at him, a grin with your teeth visible. The man was handsome, you’d noticed. Dark hair, a little scruff, eyes that scrunched when he smiled at you. He was fit, too, his muscles evident beneath his tight t-shirt and running shorts. He kept running, unsure what he could say to you.

Marcus returned home some thirty minutes later to find Missy awake. “Hey, the new neighbor moved in,” he told her as he walked to the counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Ooh, tell me all about them.”

“Well, we didn’t talk. I still don’t know if it’s a family or anything,” he admitted. “But there was a woman sitting on the porch.”

Missy’s eyes lit up. “How old?”

Marcus shook his head. “I don’t know, muñeca,” he told her and kissed her head as he walked past her to sit at the table.

“Old enough to date?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and stuffing her mouth full of cereal. “Did she seem single?”

“Stay out of it,” he teased her and poked her forehead, right between the eyes.

She flinched back a bit but laughed. “Dad, come on.”

He shook his head. “We can bring over a housewarming gift tonight, huh? Then we can see.” -

Well, it turned out that night was too busy to do so for the Morenos.

You saw him the next morning as he ran past again. You wore different pajamas but sat in the same position. You’d waved back.

That’s how the next couple mornings went for the two of you. Every day, Marcus could swear you looked prettier. With you looking like that in your pajamas, he couldn’t imagine how beautiful you’d be at any other time.

Finally, Friday night, he and Missy put on some music and got to baking.

“What does she look like?” Missy asked curiously as she cracked an egg into the bowl- she’d learned the hard way that her father was not to be trusted with egg duty.

Marcus described you to his daughter, his eyes far off and a small smile on his face. “She’s very pretty.”

“Well, duh. You’re simping over her, of course she is.”

“What’s a simp?” He’d asked, brow furrowing.

The knock came an hour or two later. You’d gotten home from work an hour or so earlier, so you were in relaxed clothing, the remnants of your makeup on your face.

Behind the door stood the handsome runner you saw every morning, and a miniature, carbon-copied version of him with longer hair and more feminine features. “Hi! We’re the Morenos. We live in the blue house down the street. I’m Missy, and this is my dad, Marcus,” she introduced herself cheerfully. She held a tray of brownies. He held a bouquet.

“We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood,” the man- Marcus- says with a warm smile on his face.

“Oh, thank you!” You grinned and took the tray Missy held out. “Well, come in, please,” you invite them. “Do you drink, Marcus? I was just having some wine. Oh, and Missy, I have some soda if you’d like that.”

The three of you sat in your half-constructed living room for a while and chatted. You learned about the former Mrs. Moreno and how she’d passed a few years ago. You shared that you were living alone and single, due to a bad breakup that led you to move here. The two were good company, you learned quickly, bantering back and forth more like siblings than a father and daughter.

As they stood up to leave, you apologized for the mess. “Sorry. I’ve been trying to hook up my TV lately, and I haven’t done anything else yet. I want to get the TV up first, but I’m practically useless with electronic stuff,” you admitted with a chuckle.

“Oh, Dad is great with electronics,” Missy told you with a grin.

“Not great. Competent would be a better word,” he chuckled. “I could help you set it up, if you’d like that.”

“I would, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all. Here, we can exchange numbers, you can text me when you’d like me to come over,” he offered and pulled out his phone.

“Sure,” you said and told him your number, which he enters into his phone and sends you a text. “Perfect,” you nodded and saved his phone number. “I’ll see you two soon, hopefully.”

They said goodbye and you heard Missy giggling as the door shut behind him. It’s muffled, but you thought you can hear Missy anyway: “That was smooth, Dad!”

That was months ago now. You’d developed a relationship with the both of them, visiting each others’ houses often for dinner or just to chat.

When summer rolled around, Missy invited you over for days at their pool. You two had enjoyed yourselves, Marcus playing the role of your butler for the day, serving you mocktails and teasing his daughter. It became a common occurrence during the summer. You even had a reverse day on Marcus’s birthday (July 12th) where Missy served the two of you. It was almost like a date. That was the day you both realized you’d fallen hard for the other.

As much as you spent time with Marcus, the girl positively adored you, and always sent you texts from her father’s phone.

We’re having pizza tonight! Wanna come over?

Dad says he sucks at math. Can you help me with my homework?

My friends canceled on me. Are you free to eat Ben and Jerry’s and watch Mamma Mia with me?

You’d become like a mother figure to her, helping her when she got her first period, taking her shopping for middle-school dances, giving her boy advice.

Marcus liked you just as much, if not more. You liked him too. He was a funny man, kindhearted and warm. He’d listen to you talk when you’d had a shitty day, bring over a bottle of wine when he needed some comfort, cook dinner for the two of you when Missy was at Anita’s.

One night, you’re eating dinner with them on their patio. It’s nice, overlooking their backyard and their pool. Missy is going to a friend’s later, to sleep over, but Marcus had cooked food for the three of you on the grill, something you’d learned he was fantastic at, and you’re inside getting more food. The door is slightly cracked, and you can hear the two of them talking.

“Dad. You have to make your move, and you gotta do it tonight! Otherwise, she’ll go for Kent a couple doors down. You don’t want that, do you?” she asks in a hushed voice.

“It’s not that easy, muñeca. I’m so in love with her I don’t know what to do.”

Your heart catches in your chest, fluttering. Marcus likes you. Not only that, he’s in love with you. The past few months race through your head, and you hyper-analyze every little interaction the two of you have had. It’s clear now, in hindsight. You swallow hard, putting back down the skewer of vegetables.

He’s been the only thing on your mind the past few weeks, you have to admit. Your visits to each others’ homes had increased, with you spending more and more nights a week at the Morenos’. His laugh makes your stomach flutter as Missy says something else to him outside. You bite your lip. Tonight’s the night. If he doesn’t make his move like Missy insisted, you’ll do it first.

The conversation is light for the rest of dinner, and you’re a bit detached. Marcus can tell, but he doesn’t comment on it. You simply stare out into their pool, listening to Missy ramble on about the plans that she and her friends have for tonight.

A while later, her friends’ parents pick her up. You stand in the driveway and wave a thank-you to the girl’s parents as they drive off with Missy and her friend in tow. “Love you guys,” she shouts out of the window. You grin and shout it back, in sync with Marcus.

The two of you return to the backyard. You walk a little farther apart from Marcus than normal. “Hey,” he says and stands right next to you, his shoulder nudging yours. “What’s wrong? You’ve been off all night,” he mumbles softly.

You shake your head. “It’s nothing, really,” you chuckle, looking down at your feet.

Marcus is oblivious to the fact that you heard the two of them earlier. You and Marcus have always had a playful relationship, and the idea strikes him to help cheer you up. “Hey, vecina.”

“What- ah!” You squeal as Marcus lifts you in his strong arms. He walks the two of you to the side of the pool as you wriggle in his grip, laughing. “Goddamnit, Marcus! Let go of me!” You screech as he holds you over the pool, though you’re giggling the whole time.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” he laughs, your feet kicking as they dangle over the chlorinated water.

“No, you asshole!” You laugh, wriggling. “Put me down, Moreno, or God help your poor soul when I-”

He sets you down on the edge, backing up a bit. “There, fine. Just trying to help,” he teases. He did, he thinks to himself. You’re smiling again.

You’re painfully close to him. Your hands find his hips and he looks down at your hands in confusion as you pat the pockets of his shorts. No phone. Perfect. There’s a devilish grin as you wrap him in a bear hug and fall backwards into the pool, taking him with you.

You let go once you’re underwater, shooting up to the surface from under him and laughing. He comes up moments later, wiping his eyes and pushing his hair back. Your laugh is maniacal and loud, completely content and proud of yourself. “There, I cheered you up at least,” he shakes his head and smiles. He walks to the shallower end of the pool, and you follow.

“I wasn’t in a bad mood,” you shoot back.

“Well, something was off. Will you tell me now?” He asks, your eyes wandering to his- oh, he’s ripped, goddamn- abs beneath his wet t-shirt. His eyes remained trained on yours, ever the gentleman.

Swallowing hard, you nod and walk closer to him with a smile. “I heard you and Missy when I was inside getting more food,” you tell him, biting on your lip to hold back an excited giggle.

His brows furrow in confusion then lift in surprise as it hits him. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” you nod, wading a little closer and then even closer. You can hear his heavy breathing and look into those big brown eyes with a grin.

“Well, I-” he starts stammering, unsure of what to say, until you place your hands on his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Marcus,” you mumble soothingly, your arms wrapping around his neck. “I know you said it’s not that easy. Why don’t you let me take the reins then, hm?” You ask teasingly, bringing your face close to his.

He grins, taking the opportunity as he sees it. His lips crash to yours happily, his hands finding your waist over your sopping wet clothing. You smile softly against his lips. They’re so soft and warm, the very lips you’ve been staring at for a long time, imagining this. He’s gentle but loving and you deepen it. He follows immediately, parting his lips against yours and he sighs into your mouth.

The two of you stand there, in his pool, making out, for quite a while. Finally, when he breaks away, looking at you through his water-drop-stained glasses, you grin. “This is your fault, you know. I’m gonna have to go home and change into dry clothing.”

“Or you could borrow some of mine,” he offers with a shy smile, and you grin.

“That works too.”

He kisses you one more time. “Will you stay the night? We don’t even have to… to do anything. I don’t even really want to yet. I just want to keep holding on to you.”

You nod and kiss him softly, for just a moment. “Of course I will.” -

You awaken in the morning to the smell of cooking. You live alone, and it makes your brow furrow in confusion, eyes still shut, until they open and you find yourself in Marcus’ home. His bed, specifically.

You smell like chlorine and your hair is damp still, but you’re wearing a big black sweater that smells like detergent and cologne and sleep. It’s Marcus’s, you realize with a smile.

Last night was truly perfect. No, you didn’t sleep with him yet, but it was still perfectly intimate, the way you held each other and whispered sweet words and pressed soft kisses all over each others’ faces and torsos. You’d made out for a fair amount of time too, just like teenagers again, but it was meaningful.

You pad down the stairs, wearing just your underwear and one of Marcus’s big sweaters. He’s cooking breakfast in the kitchen, and your heart melts as you see him. “Good morning, superhero,” you coo as you wrap your arms around him from behind and press a kiss into his neck.

His body warms and melts into your touch. “Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”

“Amazing. Your bed is insanely comfortable,” you chuckle and snuggle in against him, resting your head against his back.

“I’m glad. Go sit down, breakfast will be ready in a bit.”

You nod and do exactly that, sitting across the kitchen island from him. He puts some pancakes on a plate, drizzles them with syrup, and slides it to you. “Bon appetit.”

“Thank you,” you grin and waste no time in cutting into them with a fork and taking a bite.

You sigh happily and Marcus’s heart can barely take the sight of it. “I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

“I can’t get over how cute you are,” you tease and pop another bite in your mouth. “The good news is that you can get over it, because I’m coming over here for breakfast in your clothes every day now.”

“Or you could live here.”

The proposal is so quiet, so sudden and nonchalant that it takes you aback for a minute. “What?”

He shrugs. “I know we’ve only been together for, what, 10 hours now, but Missy and I both adore you. You’re over here all the time anyway. Why don’t you? Save us both some money, too.”

You bite your lip to hold back a grin. “I might have to think about it.”

He nods. “I get that, I-“

“Done thinking. I’ll do it,” you grin happily.

“Really?”

“Really,” you nod, giggling excitedly.

Marcus leans across the kitchen counter and kisses you softly. “Be prepared for a lot of Moreno loving. Missy’s a cuddler.”

“I think I can take it,” you smile and press another kiss to his lips, with all of the love in your heart.

translations:

vecina- neighbor (female)

muñeca- in this context, doll

hey taglist, come get y’all’s juice

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #we can be heroes #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pascalpanic

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mytastessuck · 3 years

Text

Gorillaz: Plastic Beach

mAh, nostalgia. This album was my high school years. I got a digital copy for my birthday from my mom and became obsessed with this album well into college. The dominance of electronica, the use of people with great voices, the expansion of the lore, Lou Reed...this album was all of music when I got it. It's my favorite Gorillaz album and it looks like it's gonna stay that way for a while. But how is it on a not even approaching semi-objective level? Let's find out.

1. Orchestral Intro

You can probably guess it by my awful taste but I'm not really into orchestra. This opening though, with the sound of waves and the mourning instruments, really tipped me off that I was in for something different. This album wasn't going to start off with something chill or even a zombie movie clip. No, at this point, Gorillaz were officially done fucking around.

10/10

2. Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach

Then we get the brass leading us into a good beat and then HOLY SHIT, SNOOP DOGG?! He leads us in like a bandleader while a chorus of women back him up Just Like That while he goes with his usual flow. He adds the needed touch of instant cool to an album that's practically frozen with the artists already on it and with this song, it feels like you're walking past the gate into Disneyland.

9/10

3. White Flag

Some nice Arabian sounding instruments on this one. Pretty cool for Gorillaz to keep engaging in world music. Anyway, this was a really cool instrumental but it's time to move on to the other son---

Huh?

Suddenly, we get beeps and mixes backing up Bashy and Kano as they kick so much ass talking about pacifism for the sake of survival. This song kicks an undisputed amount of ass and it barely even tries.

9/10

4. Rhinestone Eyes

What I like about this song is that I keep finding new things to like about it as the years go back. First, I liked the weirdly-threatening nature of the song along with the woman moaning in time with the verses. Then I liked the video (even though it was insanely shady of EMI to release that without Damon's and Jamie's permission and it ended up being the thing that led to Phase 3's premature ending and Gorillaz going on hiatus). Then I liked the continuation of the moaning that I first noticed in live performances then finally heard in the song itself. This song is like Rolexes falling from the sky.

10/10

5. Stylo

Ah, the first single from the album. I remember telling my dad about this when I first saw the video for it. I was about to write off Gorillaz as a relic of my past before I saw Murdoc and 2D get run off the road by Bruce Willis. This song has an awesome bridge by Yasiin Bey, nice crooning by Damon Albarn and incredible back-up by Bobby Womack, who manages to lift the entire song over his head using just his voice. Damn, wish he had another song that put his voice on full display. Maybe later in the album...

10/10

6. Superfast Jellyfish

Yeah, De La Soul is back! And they're singing about TV dinners! Seriously, these guys can make guessing crossword actually fun instead of a dredging experience and have Shiny Toy Guns frontman Chad Petree singing about radioactive seas brings the whole thing home. It makes you want to really go out and eat a random jellyfish but don't do that. It'll hurt.

11/10

7. Empire Ants

Okay, before I give this song its totally fair score, it should be noted this is my third favorite song of all time. I love Damon's reassuring lyrics in the beginning but the switch in the middle to a more upbeat electronic pop tune pushes this song past perfect.

Then there's Little Dragon...

This song introduced to me to Yukimi Nagano's voice and wow...I didn't think humans could sound like that, let alone an Asian woman singing soul. If you think the instruments are carrying her here, obviously there are clearly no other songs on the album that showcase her talents so I have to recommend After The Rain, Twice and Constant Surprises by Little Dragon. Seriously, this woman's voice will water your fucking crops.

500/10

8. Glitter Freeze

Where is north from here? Don't ask me, I'm not a compass. Anyway, this song has Mark E. Smith from The Fall and they use him to his fullest extent...by which I mean letting him make an absolutely evil fucking laugh somewhere near the end. The instrumentation makes it feel like you're in a storm on a shaky ship and you're definitely going to feel like you need some pills after you're finished. This stuff will put hair on your chest.

11/10

9. Some Kind of Nature

This song introduced me to Lou Reed and I'm grateful to it for that. Lou was a shitty dude but damn his voice really made things better than they should have been. Fuck, I was one of the eight defenders of Lulu for this reason. But Damon doesn't sit with his thumbs up his ass on this song. He holds his own and makes the chorus sound legitimately dreamlike. All we are is stars, indeed.

100/10

10. On Melancholy Hill

This song is awesome to chill to...unless you're escaping a cruise ship while being gunned down by fighter jets. But other than that particular example, I recommend this song for anyone trying to relax while thinking of someone special. But be careful with the last note of this song. That gong can be a real eye opener.

9/10

11. Broken

Bummer of a song but if there's one song you absolutely NEED to learn on melodica, it's this one. Aren't we all broken? Well I am. And this song speaks to me.

10/10

12. Sweepstakes

Yasiin's back and there's gonna be trouble. He plays a carny in this track and you know that no matter how many times you listen to this song, you'll always gonna fall for his schemes. He's gone on to say that this is one of his finest achievements as a MC and I can see why.

10/10

13. Plastic Beach

Holy shit, they got the 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover guy on this track. Makes since because this, outside of Empire Ants, is my favorite song on the album. The harmony, the little imp they got for the bridge, the triangle...everything makes this song better than it has any right to be on an already awesome album. Damn, plastico indeed.

200/10

14. To Binge

Shock of all shocks, Yukimi's back! And it's a duet with Damon! And it's a song about a relationship torn apart by addiction! It's not my birthday so it must be Christmas. These two manage to drown the listen in waves of audio goodness that leaves them feeling like they spent 3 minutes and 56 seconds standing under a waterfall.

20/10

15. Cloud of Unknowing

Okay, I cried to this song. And now, with Bobby Womack's passing, I cry even harder. This song should be an anime ending with how solemn it is but you need to listen to the end to hear, "It may bring sunshine on its wings." Also, Damon covered this song live after Womack's passing. I suggest you look it up because it is tear-ripping.

50/10

16. Pirate Jet

Eh. Pretty average song compared to the others on the album but I appreciate the message. Sweet Lord, people. Turn off your shit when you're not using it. We only got one planet and I don't trust Elon Musk.

8/10

Album Score: 60.1/10

Whoo! No biases! Anyway, next week is The Fall, otherwise known as the album Albarn did on his Ipad. Otherotherwise known as the album a significant portion of the fandom has a hate-on for. Does it deserve the hate? We'll find out!

#gorillaz #plastic beach #music #review

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justanotherlifeff · 4 years

Text

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

No one's POV

"Squad leader (Y/N)! The scouts are back! They retook wall Maria!", (Y/N) was woken by Diana's excited yelling. She barged into Levi's room, mud all over her shoes. (Y/N) woke up with a jolt and noticed it. "Levi will be pissed..." she thought but she didn't say anything to Diana. This wasn't the time for it. She knew that she had to see if Levi and Erwin returned safely or not. "Diana, saddle my horse. Fast" (Y/N) commanded Diana as she went to the bathroom to change out of her nightgown. She didn't take long to change and when she was done, she immediately ran for the stable, her heart fluttering with joy. They are back. They are successful. They are one step ahead for humanity's victory.

When (Y/N) reached the stable, Diana was done saddling the horse and (Y/N) immediately got on it and galloped for the walls. The fluttering feeling in her heart turned into an uncomfortable clench when she reached the wall. An elevator with nine people was coming down. An elevator can hold about twenty people. "Was that all the people who survived?" she thought, the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach increasing. The lift seemed to come down for eternity. "Are they dead?" (Y/N)'s mind whispered to herself. She had no idea what she would do without Levi. Without Erwin, her only family left. When the lift came down finally, (Y/N) felt like her heart stopped. At the front was Hanji, her eye bandaged. Behind her was Levi. (Y/N)'s eyes widened at the sight.

"No... This isn't happening..." her mind shouted. Levi noticed her on her horse and bowed his head. "He didn't protect Erwin..." (Y/N)'s mind whispered at her. Out of instinct, (Y/N) turned her horse and galloped towards the Survey corps headquarter, not stopping even when Levi shouted, "(Y/N)! Wait!" loudly.

(Y/N) went straight into Levi's office. She needed to know how Erwin died. She needed to know if Levi tried his best to save him. After what seemed like a lifetime later, Levi entered his office to find (Y/N) sitting on one of the chairs in front of his desk. "How did it happen?" (Y/N) asked him in a quiet voice. Her face scared Levi. It was what he saw the day he first met (Y/N). Emotionless and cold. There were no tears in (Y/N)'s eyes. She almost looked like she was tired, like she was bored. Levi didn't know how to explain everything to her. He was never too good at explaining anyway.

With a sigh, he said, "Both Erwin and Armin were seriously injured. I had to use the titan serum on one of them and I decided that it was time for Erwin to rest.". "So, you killed him..." (Y/N) stated, her voice showing...nothing. No anger, no regret, no sadness. Her voice was like of a dead person, void of any human emotion. "(Y/N), I had good reason to..." Levi tried to explain but (Y/N) held her hand up, signalling him to stop. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say." she said before walking towards the door. "Don't try to follow me. I don't want to see your face again." she told him, not bothering to look at him before walking out of the office.

(Y/N) felt numb. Memories of Erwin and Levi making promises shot through her mind. "How many times will I lose everything dear to me?" she thought. To her, life seemed more meaningless than ever. She walked towards her office. Yes, she had her own office but she preferred to work with Levi. She felt lonely doing all the work alone. Ironically, loneliness was all she had now. She took a pen and paper and wrote a letter.

"Ms Hanji Zoe

Commander

Survey corps

Subject: Resignation letter

Dear Hanji,

Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from the position as squad leader of the Survey corps, effective from whenever you get the letter.

I appreciate the opportunity of growth and development you have provided me.

Sincerely,

(Y/N) (L/N)"

This was it. She knew she had to run from this life. Being in the Survey corps meant she had to witness the death of loved ones again. She had to face Levi again. (Y/N) walked towards Erwin's office. "I will never see him sitting in there again" her mind whispered to her. She opened the door to find an empty room. "Hanji didn't move in yet.." she assumed. Memories of when she was chosen as squad leader, when she asked him to walk the aisle with her on her wedding passed her mind. The wedding would never happen now. She remembered the ring in her finger. "Should I leave it with the letter?" she thought, not being able to make up her mind. At the end she decided to keep it.

As a symbol of her old memories of a Levi she knew she loved. (Y/N) placed the letter on the desk and went out of the office, out of the headquarters. She didn't take her horse or her possessions, she didn't have the time to. She walked towards the place where she made the decision of joining the Survey corps. To the orphanage.

(Y/N) POV

I knocked on the door of the orphanage and the matron opened the door. Seemed like the news of Uncle Erwin's death spreaded like wild fire since the first thing the matron did was hug me and say, "Oh (Y/N) dear! I'm so sorry...". "Ms Winkler (the matron's name), can I stay here for a few days? Till I get my own house?" I asked her calmly. "Your own house? Aren't you getting married soon?" she asked me, confused. "I'm afraid the wedding won't take place. After what he did..." I sighed. "My dear, I don't know what the captain did but you rejecting him means it must be something horrid. You're welcome to stay here for as long as you want. I'm getting old, so a bit of help is always welcomed." Ms Winkler smiled as she took me in.

Ms Winkler showed me my room a while back. I sat on the bed, trying to remain calm but I felt restless. The depth of the situation was finally hitting me. Uncle Erwin is dead. I left Levi. I left the Survey corps. I have absolutely nothing left to live for. I felt emotionally unstable. I felt all energy from my body being drained. "I can't take this anymore. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts..." my mind was screaming.

I walked to the bathroom. Conveniently, there was a blade there. I had to cut myself. Drown my sorrows by causing external pain. Just before the blade touched my skin, I remembered that I wasn't alone. I still had my child. "I'm sorry honey... I completely forgot about you... I'm so sorry I almost hurt you..." I whispered to my stomach, which bulged a bit now. I caressed it a bit as I sat on the bathroom floor, whispering sorry as tears streamed down my face. I have to take on all the pain the world throws at me. I have to make sure my child gets a happy life.

A week later

"(Y/N), you need to eat properly... You're eating like a mouse, dear... Both the baby and you needs the food..." Ms Winkler tried to convince me to eat. I honestly tried my best to eat as much as I can but I had no appetite. After the happenings of last week, nothing felt good. I slept for two days, eating a few bites of bread whenever Ms Winkler got it to me. She was worried about my and my child's health and even if I was grateful that she was making the effort, I just couldn't eat. My sleep schedule was all over the place too as my nightmares came back.

It's been a while since I've been having nightmares every night. Being with Levi helped but now... There's nothing I could do about it. I've been helping Ms Winkler with her household duties, looking after the other kids, and keeping myself as busy as possible to forget the events of last week. Hanji didn't send me an approval of the resignation letter yet and I thought about going to the Survey corps headquarter to make sure if she got the letter or not but later decided against it as there was a chance of running into Levi there.

I still didn't know why he decided to let Erwin die but I decided that it's best if I don't know as the truth on it might only be more hurtful. I rented a house last day too, where I was supposed to move in to next week. The owner, a lovely old lady, was really understanding of my situation. I was peeling some potatoes in the kitchen when Ms Winkler came into the kitchen and told me, "(Y/N), someone is here to see you."

Levi POV

It had been a week since (Y/N) left. I understood why she did it. What I did was unforgivable. However, I couldn't keep any regrets, right? My sleep schedule had been shit for the last week, the insomnia returned, as well as the nightmares. All I did everyday was bury myself with paperwork, clean any place with a speck of dirt and drink to some extent at night. My good alcohol tolerance didn't help at all. At least that kept my mind off things... Apparantly everyone was surprised when I cleaned the stable by myself two days back. I couldn't blame them because I made cadets do things like that since I became a squad leader. I was working on paperwork when Hanji entered the room.

"What do you want shitty glasses" I asked in a stoic expression, not looking up from the paperwork. "Oi, I'm the commander now. At least give some respect..." Hanji teased, trying to make me talk. She had been doing these for a while as I haven't talked to anyone much since last week. There just was too much on my mind and the amount of paperwork was intense. "It's been a week since she gave that resignation letter. What are you planning to do about it?" Hanji asked me. Yes, she wanted to leave the Survey corps. Because of me. It was all over wasn't it? "Aren't you in charge of writing the approval letter?" I asked, restricting any emotions in my voice.

"Levi, stop acting like you don’t feel anything. Before her commander, I'm her friend and I know that you want her to be happy as much as I do. You need to go and explain why you made that shitty decision. At least try to get her back." Hanji told me, her voice sounding angry. "I tried to tell her. She didn't want to listen" I answered. Hanji looked at me like I am horse shit.

"You went up to her and told her that you made the decision to kill Erwin. It's obvious that she wouldn't want to listen to you. And you stopped trying because of that one time? I honestly had better expectations from you, Levi." she told me, getting angrier. "What am I supposed to tell her? That I don't regret making that decision? You think she will like hearing that?" I asked Hanji, frustrated. She was right, I should've tried harder, but, how?

"But you do regret it don't you? Even if it probably was necessary according to you?" Hanji asked, in a soft tone. "I'm not supposed to regret it... Erwin said.." I was interjected by Hanji, who simply said, "Erwin regretted not being able to see what's in the basement, didn't he? Thus you had to make the decision for him and he had to die. Sure, the downfall was big but it caused one of our biggest victories didn't it? We know so much now... I suppose, regretting might give some good results too, doesn't it?" she explained. I was silent. She was right. I regretted my decision.

However, it had to be done. I had to explain everything to (Y/N) and leave the decision to her. "Levi, let's not delay things more. I got news that (Y/N) is staying at an orphanage nearby. Let's go together and convince her to talk to you. As a friend, I want her happy and as a commander, she is a huge asset to the survey corps, given that now we only have 9 survivors from the last mission. I'll tell someone to saddle our horses." she told be before getting up and going out of my room. I didn't feel as nervous as I feel now when I proposed (Y/N)...

It took a while for me to arrange all the paperwork I was working on into neat piles before going to the stable. Hanji was already there, on her horse. Diana, (Y/N)'s second in command was standing there. She probably was the one to saddle the horses. "Commander Hanji, when will squad leader (Y/N) return from vacation?" I heard her asking Hanji. Yes, the survey corps members and other higher ups were told that (Y/N) was on vacation as she needed some time alone due to Erwin's death, and not to talk about it to the press. The only people who knew about the resignation letter were myself and Hanji. "Well, we are going to talk to her about that now." Hanji smiled at Diana, who saluted me as I arrived near them. I motioned her to be at ease as I got on my horse. With that, we galloped towards the orphanage she was in.

We reached there in a few minutes as it was pretty close. "I'll go inside and talk to (Y/N) first. I'll call you when I have convinced her to talk to you. I have a feeling that she will refuse to talk to you at first." Hanji explained. I nodded as a reply. It was depressing to think that (Y/N) would refuse to talk to me. I got down from my horse to find a few kids staring at me and the horses. "Oi brats, you know where the stable is?" I asked them. One of them, possibly the leader, a small brunette kid, walked up to me and said, "I'd tell you if you were nice to me." with a pout.

"Listen, brat, I am being nice. I'm not in much of a good mood now, so don't give me this bullshit. Where's the stable?" I asked the kid in my monotone voice. "Mhhm, I won't tell you unless you're nice." she pouted. "Kid, don't expect every single stranger to sweet talk to you." I sighed. Kids were annoying. "Well, Ms (L/N) was a stranger. She was nice to us." the girl told me. "She was? Well, Ms (L/N) is a nice person. I on the other hand am a piece of shit who made her sad." I sighed, my expression showing some sadness even if I tried to hide it. The girl looked at me for a moment before saying, "The stable is in the backyard. Follow me.".

I followed the girl, the group of kids followed me. "You're captain Levi right?" the girl asked. "Yes. I am." I answered, as I walked with the horses. "How did you make Ms (L/N) sad?" she asked me. "Well, as you know, the commander of the survey corps is dead right? I had a lot of things to do with it. The commander was Ms (L/N)'s uncle and... You know how that works." I explained. "So you're here to talk to her?" the girl asked.

"Yeah" I answered as I got the horses in the stable. "You know, she won't be happy if you keep using your potty mouth. If you're nice to her, she will listen." the girl advised. I was surprised that a 10 year old was advising me about how I should talk to (Y/N). However, she wasn't entirely wrong. I only had a chance if I calmly explained everything one by one. "You're right, kid." I answered as I closed the stable door. "Oi, what's your name?" I asked the girl. "Stella." she answered as Hanji came out. "I figured you'd be near the stable. (Y/N) agreed to talk. Let's go." she said. "Best of luck out there. You need it." Stella told me with a smile.

(Y/N) POV

"Hanji?" I was surprised to see her here. I honestly thought she will just send an approval letter. "(Y/N), we need to talk." she told me. "I'll give you two some privacy" Ms Winkler said before getting out of the room. "I expected you to send an approval letter..." I started but Hanji interjected. "(Y/N), both you and Levi are my best friends. I want both of you to be happy. What you two are doing right now isn't gonna make either of you happy." she went straight to business. "Hanji, I'm happy this way. I don't want him in my life." I told her.

"Don't try to trick me, (Y/N). You're as thin as a scarecrow. I could tell you can't eat properly. Don't be so selfish (Y/N). We both know that you're not happy. Do you think your child will be okay without any explanation of why you left his or her father? You can't deny your child of his or her father just because you are angry." Hanji told me. "There is an explanation, Hanji. He decided to let Uncle Erwin die. He chose some Cadet over Uncle Erwin." I was interjected again.

"(Y/N), you weren't there when it happened. I saw the whole thing and I don't blame him. I don't know what he was thinking but I witnessed everything. He was going to give Erwin the injection. He was almost killed by Mikasa in the process. Eren begged him like his life depended on it. He ignored every one of them. I saw from far away that he almost pushed the needle in Erwin's hand but then Erwin shot his hand up, away from the needle and said something to Levi. That's when Levi gave the injection to Armin. I think, it was something that Erwin said that changed Levi's mind. Trust me, he wanted to save Erwin but I don't think Erwin wanted to be saved. If anyone broke a promise, it was Erwin. Not Levi." Hanji explained to me what she saw.

Was I blaming Levi for nothing then? What did Uncle Erwin say to him? "Levi hasn't been sleeping for the last week and he honestly looks as old as his age now. I don't want any of you two to suffer. Please, at least talk to him about it. Let him explain." Hanji told me in a serious tone. "Okay. I will talk to him." I sighed. If Hanji is right, I probably am making a big mistake by leaving him. I just had to make sure. "Ah, great! I will get Levi here in a minute. He's right outside!" Hanji said happily before skipping outside. That crazy woman is always prepared...

After a long minute, Levi entered the room. Hanji wasn't kidding when she said that Levi looks older. He had eye bags and looked like he had a bad case of a hangover. How much has he been drinking? I've never seen him having a hangover... Even after all that, he still managed to look almost as good as usual. "So, explain" I told him as he sat on the chair beside me. We were sitting at the dining room. "I decided that I will tell you everything from the beginning. After that, you're free to make any decision that you see fit." Levi told me. He looked like a defeated man, like he lost everything dear to him. "Okay" I replied before he started.

"We were losing the battle. The beast titan was throwing boulders at us, cornering us. If we were to wait longer, everyone would've died. We were in the inner walls of wall Maria. My squad and Hanji's squad was in Shiganshina. The colossal titan was coming towards us from Shiganshina. Eren was unconscious on top of the wall. Everything spelt defeat. I proposed Erwin that I would sacrifice myself so that he and the others could ride Eren and escape. It was a botched up plan anyway. Erwin then told me that he had a plan which included him and every other soldier in the inner wall to charge at the beast titan, making themselves potential targets. They would shoot flares at the beast, distracting him and I would use the line of titans next to him to get to him.

Erwin wanted to see what's in the basement and to attend the wedding. He wasn't willing to make the decision. I, at that time, decided that humanity's victory is more important because I wanted you and our child safe. Even if you leave me for it. I made the decision for him and he told me to take care of you two. The plan was a success. I got the beast titan but I hoped that Erwin was alive. I didn't kill the beast titan so that Erwin could turn into a titan and eat him. I was wrong, and the cart titan took the beast titan and ran off. He commanded his titan army to kill me but I killed the titan army as fast as possible before following the beast.

I found him talking to Eren but he saw me and ran again. My gas was finished when I reached Eren. There, I found that Armin was almost burnt to death. He defeated the colossal titan earlier by sacrificing himself. Berthold was captured by Eren. Eren told me to use the serum on Armin. I hesitated because there still was a chance that Erwin might be alive and I was right. Erwin was badly injured and dying. I made the most obvious decision, which was to save Erwin. That's when Eren started begging. Mikasa shot at me with her sword when I hit Eren to get him out of the way. I just... Felt weak.

Who was I to choose that their best friend, a person who was almost like a brother to them, should die? Even after all that, I knew that I had to save Erwin because I promised you that I will keep him safe. Hanji came later and took Mikasa off me, explained them that it has to be Erwin. That's when Eren mentioned how Armin wanted to see the ocean. I realized that both Erwin and Armin had dreams that made them go on. I still decided to bring Erwin back to life. Just as I was about to push the needle in his hand, he shot his hand up and muttered with his dying breath, "Teacher... How'd y... find out that they don't exist?". I remembered something that Kenny said at that time. That everyone has to be drunk on something in order to live.

It matched with something Erwin told me earlier, that he wanted to die many times but it was the mystery of the basement that kept him alive. If he knew what was inside the basement, he probably wouldn't want to be alive like this anymore. And, that would be a loss for humanity nonetheless. Armin on the other hand had goals that was far from reach. I made the decision that felt would be best for humanity and the safety of you two. On the view point of a captain, I have no regrets, but, in a personal view point, I regret this decision and will continue to do so all my life." he explained.

For once, I think I understood why he did it. "Levi, I understand why you did it. I think I will forgive you too, but, give me some time. I need to think it all over, and convince my mind to forgive you. It really wasn't your fault but I lost someone dear to me. I just, need some space till we get married." I replied. "You... You won't leave me? We are still getting married?" Levi asked, his voice and face showing surprise. "Yes. I won't leave you and we will get married on the date we fixed. However, I want to stay alone till that day. I need to give myself the time to forgive you." I explained.

"(Y/N), thank you so much for reconsidering... I don't deserve to be forgiven. I'm sorry..." Levi muttered. "It's okay Levi. By the way, how much are you drinking?" I asked him. "Oh, just every night." he answered with a smile. "Don't drink that much. It's bad for you. You look older." I told him. "Okay. I wont." he told me, holding my hand. I didn't know what came upon me because I got up and hugged him. He was still sitting down, his head was on my chest. "I'm so sorry.." he muttered. "It's okay. We will be okay." I told him, caressing his hair. He hugged be back in a few moments and I knew that I would never regret this decision of not leaving him.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: (Y/N) WILL GET MARRIED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! Sorry, I might have mentioned in chapter 18 that (Y/N) will have her kid after 6-7 chapters but I decided to give the characters a bit more development before going into that. So, (Y/N) won't have her kid in a few more chapters.]

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

#levi x reader #levi aot #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #levi ackerman

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tanjirou-imagines · 5 years

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Quick question, author-san, do you (or anyone else here, really) have any tips on how to... uh... adulthood? I'm turning to the age that allows me to get my driving license, identification card and all that jazz. I'm also going to start college/uni soon. Problem is, I'm super indecisive and I still can't decide which college/uni—let alone which MAJOR—I want to take. To say I'm terrified of what lies ahead would be an understatement... - mirror anon

(if anyone else wants to weigh in on this, you’re welcome to!)

mirror anon, i think we’re either at or around the same age! so in truth… i’m unqualified to answer your ask, but i’m giving you this list of tips anyway. fair warning, but i’m gonna be straightforward with you bc i don’t wanna baby you about important shit like this.

1) think of being an adult as a process, an inevitable one.

you can’t avoid it. being an adult is a crucial role in your life. you might not want to be an adult but you will, and as an adult you have more responsibilities than you did before. there’s insurance, cards (like your identification card), and then you have your future to prepare for. your adult life is full of possibilities, but you could lose them if you give in to your terror. or you can create and chase your dreams for the future.

adulthood being a process is why you’re studying what you are now, so that you’ll have knowledge when you’re an adult. if you don’t, you simply learn it from experience. this is also what many philosophers have been stressing for centuries—that experience is important. it’s what makes you an adult and it’s important bc it’ll increase your knowledge. your past experience is what you can learn from bc if it happens again, you already know what you’re going to do. everything can be reflected upon.

although it’s very normal to be terrified of adulthood, don’t use it as an excuse to be close-minded with your fears in your heart, or you’ll never grow up.

2) be wise when picking your major or program

pick a major or program that does one or more of these things—it interests you, it makes you happy, it’s enjoyable to you, you have skills for it, or it’s what you love doing. don’t pick one out of obligation, don’t be dismissive about picking one, and don’t pick one bc it suddenly pops in your mind.

your major or program is really important bc it’s what you’ll be studying for years, so it’s best if you pick one that you have skills at—or that does one or more of the things i said before. bc if you pick a major or program that you have no interest in, are uninspired about, or suck at, you’ll have a shitty time at college/uni, with low grades, little to no motivation, and will end up changing your major or program—all of it becoming a waste of your time.

college/uni is a lot of work. exams are gonna make you go crazy and you’ll lose sleep to study, so if you’re not passionate over your chosen field you’re gonna hate even just waking up another day to attend your lectures.

i know not all schools have counselors, but if yours does then talking to the counselors there about college/uni might also help with this too.

3) don’t obsess too much about the becoming an adult part of adulthood.

adulthood doesn’t magically start once you’re 18 (the age when you’re legally considered an adult in my country). adulthood is a learned thing. it takes years to feel like you’ve finally become a legit adult. until then you’re just a duckling taking your first steps into the world that your parents have shielded you from all these years. you can consider yourself an adult when you learn to think maturely, act like a professional, and have thrown away immaturity.

you can be chill about adulthood, but not obsessing about it doesn’t mean you should let your guard down entirely. don’t run away from your responsibilities—that’s being cowardly—but don’t feel pressured either into being an adult, bc being one doesn’t mean you’ll instantly stop having fun and stop enjoying being a teenager. what it means is that you’ll simply be getting more responsibilities as a citizen of your country. as an adult you’ll be independent, graduate from college/uni, find a stable job, and do things at your own pace.

4) don’t trap yourself into thinking that age is everything, or that bc you’re a certain age that you need to be doing something.

it isn’t everything and you don’t need to. there are even adults, many older than you, out there who don’t know what they’re doing. age is a stupid social construct and at 18 you’re still very young, just with a few more liberties and some more responsibilities. that is to say, you’re still figuring things out, so worrying and losing sleep over things that can or cannot be done is just overkill for your mental health.

things like getting your driving license can wait. a lot of things can wait until you’re ready. don’t decide things rashly just bc society pressures you to get a license as soon as you turn legal, or bc someone pressures you to do it. bc tbh we all know social pressure is a bitch and does nothing but stack anxieties upon anxieties simply bc someone else did all that in one week after turning 18.

5) in adulthood you’ll need someone to guide you, to tell you don’t do this, do this instead and that’s OKAY.

bc no one’s ever learned shit just by existing and not doing anything. your parents and teachers are called parents and teachers for a reason. for example, with your identification card, your parents can guide you in doing what you need to do in order to get your identification card. maybe it’s going to city hall, asking for an adult id, filling all the documents, and then waiting a week for your id card to be delivered in the mail, or maybe it’s different in your country.

my last tip for you, mirror anon, is to follow your heart with whatever you do, even if it might attract criticism from others, and that you really won’t know—for example, what college/uni is like—until you try. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

#mirror anon

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minstrivia · 6 years

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fuckboy!/fwb!au where the oc is pregnant w his kid and he says he doesn’t want it out of shock and ends up meeting his twins! at their university grad and they end up together? this is so long lmao but :/ (with ofc the golden maknae himself)

i hope you like this. x

in which jungkook didn’t handle it well…

Y/N was careful, everything she’d ever done she’d done with care. She had an unnecessary habit of making everything she did perfect, she would double check, triple check then if she could ask someone to check again just to make sure, she would. That’s how careful she is— or was.

When she met Jeon Jungkook it was like every moral and manner she’d ever built up was pointless, all she could see was him.

She loathed him at first. She still did at times. She hated the way he walks with that aura of butter wouldn’t melt, the way he talked like everyone was supposed to be quiet and listen to him, and she especially hated the way he touched her.

He touched her like he could fall in love with her, gentle compassionate caresses on her skin accompanied by sweet pointless talk after they’d had sex.

She knew she should have know better. She was just ’one of his girls’, the temporary bed warmers that satisfied him on a nightly basis. But he’d always tell her she was the only one he was fucking and she’d always believed him again and again. And she’d stupidly fallen in love with him.

She remembers the day it all went wrong. She remembers it like it was yesterday. She’d shown up at his door, something she’d never done before and when he opened up the door, baffled as he was, he let her in.

She’d been so obviously crying that she hadn’t even attempted to hide it. Her face was puffy and flushed, dry tear marks streaming down her face and eyes still blurred with moisture. Anything could have set her off then.

"What’s wrong?“ He’d asked her, confused as to why she would turn up at his door in this state. He’d almost sounded like he cared and her heart broke a little. Fuck, how could she be so careless?

"Y/N.” He took a tentative step forward almost scared she would run away at any erratic movement. “What’s happened?”

She shook her head, trembling violently on her spot. Thinking about it now, she should have left at that moment. She should have never opened her mouth and instead ran away, never to see him again. That would have hurt less.

His hand rested on her shoulder carefully. He was comforting her. “Y/N, you’re gonna need to—”

"I’m pregnant,“ She blurted out and hearing the words out loud set off another dam of tears to break free.

Jungkook’s hand left her shoulder as if she’d burnt him instantly, the words knocking the air out of his lungs as he struggled to comprehend and make sense of them.

"Wh— What?”

She was hysterical, whimpering as she tried to explain it to him. "I’m pregnant. I— I forgot to take one of my pills one time. And it just. I'm—"

Jungkook shook his head backing away from her, he was tripping over air and bumping into things as he tried to get as far away from her as possible.

"No!“ He shouted inciting a terror-stricken flinch from her. But he didn’t care. It wasn’t his, it couldn’t be. "Stop. I don’t want to fucking hear any more. Get out.”

And after that day, she never talked to him again. He’d done everything to evade her and she was left on her own to suffer the feat of pregnancy while watching him strut around with new girls in tow every day looking as if nothing had ever happened.

That had been 3 years ago. She’s buried herself in her books ever since and finally it’s graduation. As much as earning her degree, she’s equally excited about never seeing him again. She’s travelling across the world, to London. It had always been in her plans, but more so now.

Jungkook’s staring at her again. Has she gotten prettier? He’s not sure if that’s even possible for her. Y/N’s always been beautiful to him.

God, he’s really fucked up. The day she’d told him she was pregnant, he was in shock. He couldn’t spend his life tied down to someone who he wasn’t in love with. Yet he was— is.

It hadn’t taken him too long after to realise he’d actually been in love with her, for a long time at that. But by then he’d already messed up and broke her heart, how she must hate him.

"Kook, go talk to her,“ Taehyung says, nudging Jungkook slightly in her direction. "This will probably be the last chance you get.”

"What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?“

Taehyung scoffs. "Of course she doesn’t want to talk to you. Now go.”

Jungkook sighs. He can’t do this. What could he possibly say to you to make you hate him any less? But before he’s had a proper chance to think, he’s already in front of you.

"Y/N.“

Y/N jumps slightly swivelling on her feet to come face to face with the boy that broke her heart, none other than Jeon Jungkook. What could he possibly want now?

"Hey, Koo— Jungkook.” She clears her throat scolding herself internally. “How are you?”

Jungkook blinks slowly. Why isn’t she shouting and cursing at him? She’s calm, too calm and he’s even more scared at this. She’s pretending everything’s fine. It’s not. Nothing’s fine about this.

"Jungkook?“

"Ah yes— Erm… how are you?”

"I’m fine.“ She’s smiling, a proper radiant smile that matches the sun and he shakes his head, he’s not taking this bullshit.

”No, you’re not.“

”What?“

"You’re not fine,” He stresses. “I left you. I treated you like dirt. How could you be fine?”

"Oh.“ Y/N shifts uncomfortably. He wants to talk about this now. She’s not sure she wants to, or if she’s remotely ready. But he looks dead set on having the conversation. "What d'you want me to say?”

He shrugs. “That you’re angry. That you’re upset. That you wished I love you.”

"To do what?“ She rolls her lips together a disbelieving laugh held between her lips. "To boost your ego because if that’s what you want then fine.”

She takes a deep breath stepping towards him. “I’m angry—” She starts. “God, I’m so fucking angry. I spent a long time believing it was my fault thinking I’m the one that fucked up everything while you just— you just pretended I never existed. And yes. Yes, I wish that you could love me, even a little bit. But, I’m upset because I know—” She exhales shakily. She can’t cry in front of him. Not again. “I know that you’ll never love me even if seeing you again makes me realise that I still love you.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say after that, his voice box is jammed and he can’t arrange the alphabet in the way he wants. He’s opening and closing his mouth. How did he let it get this bad?

"Y/N, I love your kids but I think they want— Oh.“ Jungkook’s eye’s focus solely on the twin buggy that comes with the new voice. Fuck, is that.

"Y/N, What’s he doing here?” Kara asks, glaring at Jungkook heatedly. But he doesn’t take any notice. He steps forward almost instinctively.

"Is that— Are those—"

Y/N hums. “Your kids? Yeah.”

Jungkook glances at Y/N, his heart is pounding out his chest, seeing them in flesh has made them even more real and all he wants to do is hold them in his arms.

"What are their names?“

Jungkook’s wishing he could turn back time. Wishing he hadn’t been so stupid that night and instead welcomed her with open arms.

"Hei-Ran and Eun.”

He smiles. Beautiful, just like they are. “Can I— I won’t take them out. I just wanna— see them properly.”

Kara sneers. “You’ve had two years to see them properly, so, no.”

"It’s okay Kar. We need to talk anyway.“

Kara raises her eyebrows in disbelief. "God— you’re just gonna— you know what. Fine. But, don’t do anything stupid.”

She walks away and Y/N smiles at her friend’s protectiveness. Y/N knows she’s going to do something stupid. Watching the way Jungkook looks at his children, and murmurs to them so softly she can barely hear him, moves something in her heart and she’s speaking before she’s thinking.

"I’m going to London, in a week.“ She swallows. "It’s a one-way ticket. So if you want to see them again. You can… you can come over anytime this week.”

Jungkook looks back at her. London. She’s moving to London. She feels like she has to go across the world to get away, from him? His chest tightens. He stands from his crouched position.

"I—" He takes her hand in his and rubs the surface of her skin with his thumb. She feels like home. “I should have said this a long time ago. But, I was stupid. I cared more about my reputation than— than being with someone I love.”

Her breath hitches and he holds her hand tighter. “I love you Y/N. I’ve loved you for longer than I like to admit and it’s shitty that it’s taken me three years and two beautiful kids to see that. But I am so so sorry.”

He’s wiping at her tears, cheek cupped in his hand as he’s holding her closer than he’s done in a long time. “And if you’ll have me, I’ll come with you to London. We can leave everything behind and start over as a proper family. We can get married, and I’ll promise you that I will never hurt you again. If you want.”

Y/N can’t help falling into his chest, his arms envelop her shaking body, kissing the top of her head as he holds her tight. It’s all she’s ever wanted from him.

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