#anyways i'm in pain

[rainiiisspamming]

BSD 109 SPOILERS!!!

Seriously read it first don't spoil yourself it's amazing it will ruin you and your life.

Okay now that that's out of the way, I will literally NEVER shut up about BSD 109 ever, and specifically about Dazai. This is not a serious analysis, just me being in pain because what the fuck.

Now before anything gets said, a few points :

He will survive. He's the plot, quite literally, and I have seen a lot of people point out the fact that his character arc isn't finished yet, and I totally agree- Asagiri is extremely careful with his plot devices and writing, so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't just cut Dazai's arc right in the middle like that. Tons of people have made several analysis on this, and again, I 100% agree with that.

A lot of people have been theorizing that the bullet in his head is not real, and that Chuuya stopped it with gravity. I agree with that- it makes sense, and would be the best way for Asagiri to 'save' Dazai from his situation.

Biology majors have made several panel analysis explaining that the spots Dazai got shot in are, in fact, non-lethal. Even when it comes to the head injury, the bullet wouldn't go as far as completely killing him, but instead harming parts that would have to do with memories and planning (not gonna get technical because it's definitely not an area I'm comfortable in, I'm a literature major ffs, but the arguments have been made).

Okay, now that these are out of the way, can we just talk about these panels for a minute, because there is so much to unpack. The shot in one the previous chapters in which Dazai kinda just, pathetically drags himself and his broken legs to a camera was bad enough, because we know Dazai hates pain. He endures it, but his whole thing is that he's looking work a way to die painlessly. And in this chapter, well. Not only has Dazai been waiting a while in there, while Fyodor and Sigma were speaking, but his whole interaction with Chuuya is SO much. From the way his eyes lighten like never before when he tries to convince Chuuya to come back, to Chuuya just not being there- I think that overall, Dazai didn't believe a second that Chuuya would come back. I mean, he looked mighty confident there, so either the situation is completely out of his control, which I doubt, because come on, it's Dazai (but I would love if it was the case because Dazai loosing composure has to be the most interesting thing ever), either he did have a plan that involved making his 'death' convincing to Fyodor.

Now, back to that pain thing. I think the worst part was the face he makes while yelling at Chuuya after Chuuya takes the first shot- he is in SO much pain (also I looked it up and the bullet did hit super close to a nerve so he might have a severed nerve I'm unwell). And then the head bullet hits, and the two other- he must have been in so much pain. The way his eyes are light but in a different way as he (falsely or not) realizes that this is It. The way one of his last words is 'finally'. He doesn't even get to finish his sentence, because he passes out before that. It was all so much.

Anyways this post is a mess but who cares I needed to put those thoughts somewhere because I didn't feel a think after 101 except for a oh, that happened, kinda feeling, but 109 had me sobbing. Genuinely crying, out loud, hugging my pillow. I really hope Dazai's gonna make it. Just imagine Atsushi, Aku, Kunikida and Chuuya's reactions if he doesn't. God fucking dammit.

[jonathanbyersphd]

Thinking blorbo thoughts

[allthewhumpygoodness]

Big fan of when a character's grief/trauma/guilt manifests as physical symptoms. Big fan of characters keeping things so tight inside them that it makes them sick. Big fan of when the line blurs between a character's mental trauma and physical illness until it's hard to tell which is which anymore.

[missmolsa]

*she should've been at the club voice* they should've been. Having a normal Saturday at the beach

[lotus-pear]

the day i picked up dazai or smth idk i've never read it

[tagerrkix]

rage.

[technically-human]

Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?

(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)

[lizardkingeliot]

gonna be using this one a lot

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[mecachrome]

guys being dudes (fan src: 1, 2)

[khickuwa]

Dear God, won't you look at me? Even for a moment, won't you let me pretend you're mine?

[buttercupshands]

So.

Act 5, huh?

Oh, and that.

"You can start breakdown now."

Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.

So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)

What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.

The beans. Sleeping beans.

Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.

Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.

I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things

Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.

[dokabee]

They are DONE!!! LOOK AT THEM AAA

They will now be there under my monitor (totally dont mind the shamos chilling behind them...)

[cosmicdreamgrl]

jungkook x black: pt.1 [ cr: 0613data, namuspromised, @jung-koook ]

[spicyvampire]

Great and Tyme being worried about each other

4MINUTES (2024) EP. 5

[soapysudz]

Jason after a certain incident

@bonerot19 enjoy :)

Poll is in the weblogs (why did my spellcheck change it to that???) Ahem REBLOGS to decide what comfort to give him, so far the cat distribution system is winning

Edit: the cat distribution system won! stay tuned for whenever I finish that