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Hunger.

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I have a joke about math but im 2² to say it

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Dazai through other people's eyes

Inspired by @originalaccountname's post about Atsushi's vision of Dazai being warped.

These are all panels where Dazai either appears as a memory or hallucination for different people. Probably not all of them, but a small collection I literally just gathered in the last hour.

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Atsushi

I think it's interesting just how lifeless this hallucinated version of Dazai is. He doesn't smile, he doesn't joke. It really does just feel like Dazai's face placed over Atsushi's conscience to guide him forward.

Akutagawa

Scraggly little guy. There's mystery behind his eyes, he knows something you don't. Has never seen a hair brush in his life. Akutagawa's vision of Dazai always looks like he's the one in control and he knows it. But also, he looks so young.

Chuuya

This ones admittedly a little different because the 1st panel is from the fifteen manga BUT I'm counting it because I love the visual and it makes an interesting contrast to how Chuuya saw Dazai when they were both teens, to how he remembers him now. One a mastermind demon, the other a lost looking boy surrounded by demons.

Ango

Bratty, criminal child. Someone who needed to be saved. The handcuff representing Dazai as someone trapped by his past and Ango trying to pay penance by saving him from it. He envisions the boy he was, because his betrayal meant he never got to know the man Dazai became.

Ranpo

Happiest little guy out there! Considering how much Dazai says he admires Ranpo, it's not surprising that when Ranpo envisions the agency he sees Dazai smiling at him. This is the Dazai Ranpo wanted to protect, the smile and joy he never wanted to lose.

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I'm crying they're SO stupid

IT'S DONE This was actually one of the very first ideas I wanted to draw for skk, because (as someone rightly pointed out in the tags) they are just so in synchro when they work together, I can't help but think that would translate for dancing as well

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FINALLY! A real comic about my skk kitty soulmate au (try saying that 10 times fast)

For this au they meet as children. I’d like to think when they were kids Dazai was more obvious about his crush. Later on though, immaturity leads to Dazai picking on Chuuya instead of communicating his feelings properly

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Part one (?) of this idea I talked about a while ago on this post and that won’t leave my mind. Dazais episodes. It’s 4:30am and jahssjwj

Read from left to right!!

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i want to talk about the moment that both made me fall in love with atsushi nakajima as a character, and which made me realize that I was probably going to get obsessed with BSD.

specifically, it was this moment.

words can not describe how important this moment was to me, and how vital this is to both atsushi as a character and his relationship with dazai as a whole.

as someone who is currently living with my abusive parents, this was something that resonated with me a lot — oftentimes, media when attempting to portray abuse (specifically parental abuse) and victims of abuse, does 1 out of 2 things:

1. Tries to justify the abuse and protect the parents — having the kids be okay with the treatment they recieved.

2. Has the kids utterly despise their parents with no shred of good feelings.

And whilst, sure, both of these can happen — and I'm sure there are victims who actually feel like this — it's not the most common response.

Speaking from my own experience — I don't know how to feel about my parents. If they died, I wouldn't know what face to make. I hate them more than anyone else, but at the same time, I grew up with them. I hate them, but I also love them. If they died, I don't know how I'd feel about it. And we get to see Atsushi having that exact breakdown — the elation over the person you hate dying, versus the grief and frustration and confusion. Abuse isn't simple, and feelings aren't simply — your abuser dying isn't something that's clean cut, it comes with a million different conflicting confusing emotions.

And the fact that Atsushi is allowed to have these feelings, is allowed to hate the headmaster, is allowed to grieve without forgiveness, is so important. BSD doesn't try to justify his abuse — it's okay to mourn someone that hurt you even if you don't like them. Their death — or their intentions — don't make forgiveness a necessity.

And even moreso, the fact that he gets explicitly told that regardless of the fact that that abuse was what molded him into the person he is today and has helped him survive, and the fact that the headmaster had good intentions, it was bad and unforgivable, is extremely important.

dazai not forcing atsushi to feel a certain way about his abuser, and encouraging him to mourn without forgiveness and to actually feel, is an incredibly important moment — i doubt that i'm only speaking for myself here when i say that when dealing with these subject matters, these are the types of things we'd like to hear.

the fact that dazai is the character telling atsushi this isn't lost on me, either — considering that earlier on this chapter, he sent ryuunosuke to tell atsushi about the headmaster, and they had this interaction:

everything about this is so fascinating and well written — from atsushi having an extremely realistic breakdown over the death of his abuser, to dazai telling him that he has zero obligation for forgiveness — and the implications that he's aware that what he's done to ryuunosuke is wrong regardless of intentions, is fascinating.

to me, atsushi nakajima has always felt human in a way most protagonists don't — his trauma impacts him, he has complex messy feelings that can't be easily resolved. it's his choice what to do with his emotions, and all others can do is give advice, and let him figure out how to deal with them.

atsushi nakajima crying over the man who simultaneously raised him and made his life a living hell is accurate in a way that almost hurts.

(slightly unrelated, but i sure was accurate with this prediction from a month ago, huh!)

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they're so stupid I love them

4+ comic pages for a stupid punchline? apparently

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Hey tumblr, I'm a solo game developer. very queer. My game Quantum Witch is a point-n-click meets platformer, with multiple endings and meaningful choices, where a town of lesbians fight god. You know, a typical queer Tuesday.

And I finally got it on steam! Maybe you want to wishlist (witchlist) it?

https://store.steampowered.com/app/3100650/Quantum_Witch/

Oh and it has a lovely cute cow that you can pet.

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You know how Dazai infiltrated the Port Mafia with this masterful disguise that absolutely would never fool anyone but still did:

Makes me wonder how long he could go pretending to be undercover while walking around the Port Mafia until someone figured it out. Since it's been a few years since he defected from the organization and we don't ever truly know the turnover rate for lower-ranking agents, it's possible a lot don't know who Dazai is or at least what he looks like (obviously except for the executives and others who were around during Dazai's time in there).

Because I can imagine him bumping into Hirotsu, and he has to do a double-take to make sure it was Dazai he was actually seeing and that he wasn't imagining it, but also that Dazai just has the audacity to go walking around like that while he was wanted for being a traitor. Hirotsu doesn't process it until Dazai's already long gone, then he bumps into Chuuya, and Chuuya's wondering what the spooked looks is on Hirotsu's face and they have the most normal conversation ever:

Hirotsu: I...Think I just walked by Dazai-kun.

Chuuya: Excuse me? You what?

Then the reports come in about some unknown bandaged dude wandering around who looks totally out-of-place not wearing a black suit like the rest of the Port Mafia, but Dazai's already left the building.

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soukoku stage play collection!!

such cuties

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What about chapstick dazai. His lips are all dry because he keeps forgetting to hydrate. He has this little peach flavored lip balm stick the ADA got for him. He actually uses it but it's not really efficient because he keeps licking it off because it tastes good. WHAT THEN???

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MAGNUS SKK THE BRAIN IS ROTTING WAIT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE SO GOOD ACTUALLY BUT WHO'S ASSISTANT???? WHO'S HEAD ARCHIVIST??? WHO'S AVATAR OF WHAT IM CRYING

A lot of Magnus and Bungou spoilers ahead btw, if you're a TMA fan finding this watch Bungou Stray Dogs and if you're a BSD fan listen to The Magnus Archives BOTH ARE AMAZING.

Note: the spoilers are much heavier if you haven't listened to TMA. Seriously, I'm spoiling the entire story to the end of Season 5. For BSD it's more about backstories than anything else.

BUT LIKE OKAY. Dazai could definitely be an avatar of the End because of his philosophy and way to think about life and its point, but I also think Lonely would fit him (being separated from humanity literally the point of No Longer Human's main character, who he's based off of), and obviously the Eye because of how clever and planning he is. Honestly, Head Archivist could either be Dazai or Fyodor because of their big brains, it would make sense for them to be Eye avatars. Due to obvious favouritism, I'll say Dazai would be Head Archivist.

Then we have Chuuya the beloved!! I feel like the obvious answer would be a Desolation avatar because of his Corruption form, but I feel like Lonely also suits him because of everyone dying? So he's either Desolation (most likely one), or Lonely. Probably an archival assistant, maybe the only one who lives like Martin?

If Dazai and Chuuya are in the same organisation, it would make sense to put the rest of the PM with them, so we obviously have Mori's cunning ass as Elias/Jonah Magnus/Eye avatar (note: the original Jonah Magnus could be a more evil version of Natsume).

Using the PM cast means that two other archival assistant could be the Akutagawas, who are definitely the Slaughter. For extra angst, only one could become an actual avatar, or they could both make one avatar and have a domain together by S5.

Atsushi is obviously the Hunt, being a weretiger and all. I don't know if he'd be a full on avatar, but it would make sense by the end of the story! He'd probably join much later, in a situation similar than the one we currently have with one employee from the ADA having to transfer back to the PM by the end of the current arc.

Considering the fact that Archive employees can't leave, it would make sense that Yosano would still be part of them, since she could never leave like she did in og BSD. I feel like she'd have an arc similar to Melanie's, and maybe end up stabbing her own eyes to leave as well.

Last archival assistant could be Kunikida? This one doesn't really make sense in terms of storyline, but leaving Chuuya alone with all the insane people in there feels a bit unfair, so they will be the order boys (poor Kunikida having to bear both skk AND sskk's presence, poor guy).

As for other characters, we have:

Fyodor's manipulative ass as avatar of the Web,

Oda who died to the Slaughter avatar Gide (fun!),

Fukuzawa and Ranpo (and potentially Minoura?) as external cops,

The other two Black Lizards as friends of Gin's from Artifact Storage,

Verlaine as the avatar of The Desolation who marked Chuuya (and killed all his friends, yay!),

Kyu as avatar of The Stranger,

Ango & co. in a special division that helps against manifestations/avatars of the Entities.

If anyone is somehow in both fandoms at the same time, please come brainrot with me AGH

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Everything about SKK is questionable, tbh

I have proof

I know the Halloween picture is just Chuuya holding his cheek, but with Dazai behind him, it looks like he's hugging Chuuya and cradling his cheek. I can't unsee it. It messes with my brain.

Anyway, yeah, I should have made this into a powerpoint.

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So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.

Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have real correlation to either nervousness or worry. One that can be chalked to insane behavior, even.

Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was of course hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:

What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?

What if he has multiple weird patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?

And Chuuya is the only one who is actually familiar with them all?

Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"

Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."

Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"

It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.

Because Chuuya never shamed him for his weird quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.

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If Not For You

Summary: A short two part fic of Dazai and Chuuya comforting each other through Dazai's unconventional expressions of emotion. Part 1 is teen!skk after the Dragon Head conflict. Part 2 is 22!skk Title taken from Maneskin's song 'If Not For You'

Pairing: Skk (Dazai x Chuuya) Can be read as a platonic or romantic.

Inspired by @unicornpopcorn14 's post about Dazai's unconventional shows of emotion

This was supposed to be silly but it ended up leaning way more into emotional hurt/comfort

Part One - If Not For You

Despite his small stature, Dazai had never found it difficult to locate Chuuya. If anything, it was harder not to notice him with all the noise he was usually making. Exclaiming at this, yelling about that, stomping about, sometimes- on the off chance Chuuya saw Dazai first- he’d still fling himself at Dazai with his gravity. Of course, that was usually when Dazai had played some prank or other and Chuuya was actively hunting him down.

Lately though, Chuuya had been disturbingly quieter, and just like Dazai was just about to now, he was increasingly finding Chuuya curled up in some secluded corner of an empty room, sulking.

No, not sulking, he reminded himself.

Mourning.

Again.

Dazai had never understood why people mourn the dead so intensely, sure, it was sad, but most things were. He thought it was the strangeness of having a person suddenly not be there at first, and that people in the mafia- who were used to losing people- would be just as unaffected as he was. Turns out, he was alone in that here too. Frequent exposure to death didn’t stop people mourning, it seemed. Especially not Chuuya. This was the second lot of friends he’d lost and whilst Dazai didn’t understand the reason behind people’s mourning, he had enough sense to show them a little more grace than he normally would.

So when he came across Chuuya, huddled up and alone in an abandoned meeting room for the third time this week, Dazai was also quiet. He could have yelled Chuuya’s name, made a joke about him hiding away like a mouse in the walls, something of their usual games, but they all just felt intensely wrong in this situation. As much as he would like to force their normal routines back into place, he knew that wouldn’t help.

He sat down on the floor beside Chuuya, who had his knees up to his chest, leaning against the wall and idly looking out the floor to ceiling windows. Though Dazai doubted he was actually taking anything of the scenery in.

“You’ll get a hunch if you keep sitting like that.” Dazai said, choosing a soft tone for the teasing, offering a branch for Chuuya to take if he wanted to reach out for normalcy. 

Instead Chuuya sucked in a short breath, tensing up, like he’d only just noticed Dazai and shot him an annoyed glare in warning.

No games then.

Dazai leaned back against the wall as he formulated his next move. He was supposed to be bringing Chuuya to a briefing, however, in the mood he’s in, Dazai didn’t fancy his chances trying to tell Chuuya to do anything. He needed to get him out of this funk first, clear his mind.

His head tilted to the side as he pondered whether it was possible to clear the mind of a skull that’s already empty. Any other situation and he would have said that out loud. Just right now, though, Dazai didn’t feel like getting pulverised. Trying to be sensitive to people's feelings was giving him a headache. He needed to relieve the tension building in his temples. Looking around, Dazai noticed this room had a sofa, perfect for curing his headache, but then he couldn’t just ignore Chuuya, still curled in on himself in the corner. That would make for a terrible sight.

And then it hit him, he could solve both problems at once.

“I know what you need.” Emboldened by his plan, Dazai went as far as to prod Chuuya’s side, earning him another glare. “You need to clear your head.”

After a moment of just staring sceptically at Dazai, Chuuya responded with a strain in his voice he couldn’t quite hide. “What?”

“Come on, I know a great method.” Not deterred by Chuuya’s lukewarm reaction Dazai grabbed the sleeve of Chuuya’s jacket and attempted to pull Chuuya up. The arm moved, but the rest of the boy remained sat where he was, like the immovable rock he was. 

“Why would I do anything you tell me to do?” Chuuya snapped, trying to yank his arm back and failing.

“Because, I’m right. Always. My methods have never failed us once. Ever.” He tugged at Chuuya’s arm as he spoke, seeing Chuuya subconsciously uncurling from his position, torn between ignoring Dazai and trying to shut him up. Dazai just had to toe the line between just annoying enough to motivate him to move and not enough to get his nose broken. 

Finally Chuuya stood up. “You smug little- You’re not always right.”

“Prove me wrong then.” Dazai dangled the opportunity in front of Chuuya, a bet was always a good motivator for him.

“Fine. Show me your dumb method and I will.”

He led them to the sofa, trying not to be too obvious about how pleased with himself he was. “This always clears my head.” Dazai informed Chuuya and he knelt on the sofa facing the backrest. When Chuuya didn’t do the same, he pointed next to him on the sofa. “Do as I do.” He barely managed to bite back the dog nickname.

Chuuya huffed, rolling his eyes before mimicking Dazai’s actions and mumbling something about how stupid this was under his breath. Instead of calling him out on it, Dazai let it slide and lowered himself backwards on the sofa, letting his legs hook over the backrest and his head dangle off the end of the sofa cushion. Chuuya looked at him like he’d just contorted himself into a pretzel rather than sat upside-down on a sofa, but he did follow Dazai’s actions.

“How is this suppose to-”

“Shush!” Dazai hushed him. “Just look out the window and be still.”

The familiar tingle of blood rushing to his face, the tickle of his hair slowly falling down and the dull pulse of his blood in his ears steadily began to build. Dazai felt his lips and fingertips turn numb as he watched the clouds pass outside the window and soon, there wasn’t a single thought in his head. No frustration, no confusion, no strange ache to somehow share in Chuuya’s pain, just the sound of his own heartbeat and both their gentle breaths. 

After a minute of quiet, he glanced Chuuya's way to find him staring out the window, face ridiculously red and expression almost blank. It may have actually looked blank to most, but Dazai had learned to see the subtle wonder with which Chuuya’s eyes saw the world. Wonder that those eye’s seemed to have been lacking recently. It made his all too loud heart flutter to see even the faintest hint of it’s return.

“See clear head.” He said quietly, or hoped it was quiet, hard to tell with all the blood in his head. “Bad thoughts are heavy.”

Chuuya only briefly met his gaze before looking out the window again with a deep, tired breath. “Yeah.”

“They fall right out your ears this way!”

At that Chuuya snorted, almost falling off the sofa.

Part Two - I Couldn't Get Off This Floor

Chuuya always locked his door. That simple fact was undeniable. His apartment contained too much sensitive information to be forgetting to lock his door. On the off-chance Chuuya thought he’d forgotten, he always turned around to double check and it was always locked. Which is why it was becoming an increasing annoyance to return home and find his door unlocked. Despite him having the only key.

Knowing the exact cause of this conundrum only aggravated Chuuya further. He hung up his coat and hat before removing his shoes and made his way into the front room ready to give said ‘cause’ a piece of his mind.

He halted immediately when he saw Dazai lying face down on the floor. Perhaps if this was any other person on the floor it might have been more alarming, but this wasn’t the first time Chuuya had witnessed Dazai in this state. Despite himself, Chuuya found his earlier annoyance melting away, his shoulders drooping as he took in the sight for a moment. Then he quietly made his way over to Dazai, grabbing a couple of cushions from the sofa as he got down on the floor with Dazai.

“Floor time, huh?” He said softly, poking Dazai’s shoulder. To which Dazai hummed in acknowledgement before turning his face in Chuuya’s direction. His forehead was marked by a shiny red square from where it had been pressed to the floor. Chuuya suppressed the desire to laugh at the sight and pushed one of the cushions Dazai’s way. It was accepted silently as Dazai tucked his forearms under it and rubbed his face against the soft fabric. No thanks, Chuuya noted, no words at all. So Dazai really was feeling off today.

Chuuya lay on his side, facing Dazai, resting his own cushion under his head. After watching Dazai a moment longer to see if he’d come out of his shell, Chuuya decided he was well and truly jammed in there. He reached out, pushing his hand under Dazai’s cushion to find the fingers hiding there and hooking them around his own.

“Have you eaten recently?” He asked.

There was a delay before Chuuya felt Dazai squeeze his fingers. Once for yes. 

“Promise?

Another single squeeze.

He couldn’t help the doubt in mind, Dazai was notorious for forgetting to feed himself when got like this, but Chuuya didn’t push it. He’d promised and doubting Dazai’s promises right now would only make him feel worse.

“Want to move to the bed?”

Two squeezes. Which meant no. 

More accurately this meant Dazai felt like he couldn’t move yet, he’d described it like the feeling of being trapped behind his eyes once, like his own body no longer obeyed him because of the sheer exhaustion that overcame it. So Chuuya wouldn’t pester him to move before he was ready.

“What about some music?”

One squeeze, yes.

“Blanket?”

One squeeze, yes.

“Contact?”

Two squeezes, no.

There was never a set rule as to what exactly helped Dazai in these situations, Chuuya simply memorised which suggestions most often helped. Music to quiet the thoughts, blankets for comfort and occasionally, physical contact like brushing his hair helped. The last one was the least likely for Dazai to say yes to, but in recent months there had been an uptick in yeses, so Chuuya always offered.

He stood up again and set about completing his tasks. He chose a soft classical CD to play, one he imagined Iceman would have enjoyed listening to. No words, the perfect selection of songs to just rest your mind to. Then grabbed a blanket from the bedroom and returned to Dazai, draping the blanket over him and lying back down at his side. Even if Dazai didn’t want physical contact, having someone’s presence beside him, not judging or trying to force him to move, just understanding and being still with him helped.

Chuuya closed his eyes, letting his own mind settle as he listened to the gentle music. Honestly, he knew he shouldn’t, but his work day had been so long, he could have fallen asleep right there.

A hand found his own again and when re-opened his eyes, he found Dazai watching him with his hand loosely wrapped around Chuuya’s. Dazai’s index finger tapped at Chuuya’s knuckle. Morse code he realised.

Thank you.

“Sure thing, partner.”