#anyways i. was gonna make more of these but iiii never did so heres these.

[glstnbrry]

on the road with philanthropy

[ashes-writing]

burnin for you pt three | stranger things ; g.emerson

A/N ; I told you guys I love this idiot and I have officially kinda adopted his grumpy ass as one of my own damn it, but anyway... and I wanted to write this for him and all that jazz. Welp, here we kinda have me getting a late night idea about 'stupidest' nicknames that reader and Gareth could call each other -and of course, how to give reader at least one friend that's not hellfire / corroded coffin and a girl so she can do her girly shit and not seem so flat or tragic for me while also exploring reader's home issues and such and inserting ANGST, so here we freakin go.

I shit you not, when the idea for their nicknames came I died laughing. If you guys don't like them, oops? I guess just sub in your own chosen nickname? Look, I'm still working on making the switch from writing OC characters to doing x reader so uh.. I'm trying, lol. [ BTW, i'm gonna attempt to revisit or update the ones for Tommy and Billy, I just.. haven't thought of a way to do it yet. ]

Huuuge huge thanks for all the feedback, oh my god, y'all have been making my days so bright with the comments and the tags and the reblogs and the likes bc I dead ass did not think anybody would read anything I put out bc I am gremlin.. You have no idea how much it truly means to me and I thank you so so so so so much, mwah!

- Ashes

Pairing ; Gareth Emerson x sweet!girly!rich reader [ we're officially calling them pastels and plaid. ]

Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ;  pt I | pt II pt III part IIII can be found here those can and should be read first, then this one.. first of all. Gareth has been aged up to 18 before anybody says a word. I'm putting that out there now. So there's no question about it. This is set in 86 BUT BUT.. the upside down, vecna and all the other stuff that goes along with is not a part of this, it's more of a slice of life thing. So if you're into that... NO DEATHS EITHER BTW.

Tag List ; @allelitesmut @aries-arcade @hcloangcls @heyaitsklaudia @krys-orion @musichealsscars and @scoobiessnacks are the only ones currently on my taglist. If you’d like to be on my taglist for anything I write, including Stranger Things [ here ] add yourself there.

Warnings ; Chrissy -and readers, not so great home lives and her relationship with jason are discussed here so there are some not so nice things (ie, her ED is hinted at here but not really discussed, Jason is an asshole, her mother is verbally abusive and readers parents are just plain neglectful killjoy types who alternate between never being around and purposely taking away things that make reader happy if she's not 'good enough' at them) so before I go any further, that's mentioned heavily in the beginning. It's not that graphic but it is there. Mentions of the devils lettuce + the boys doing a smoking circle after jamming in Jeff's garage, lots of internal pining and the angst that goes with it, use of nicknames/petnames (bunny and meatball, my mind at 2 am, babes i s2g) and that's it.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || - send me things.

I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.

You couldn’t sleep. The house was too quiet and your mind was way too noisy. There’s a park just down the street that you’ve been going out to the swingsets to sit on nights like this. It’s normally empty because this is the gated neighborhood and most of the people in it are usually asleep, so as you make your way down dimly lit streets towards the park, you’re surprised to learn that’s not the case tonight.

Chrissy Cunningham is sitting on the jungle gym, Leaned back with all her weight on her palms, her head tilted back as she gazes at the sky. Remembering she’s one of them, you’re about to turn and make your way back up the street but she spots you and jogs over.

“Wait. Don’t go… Please?”

You eye her warily, a hand on your hip. You start to turn and just walk away anyway because looking at her only brings back the way Brook, the queen bee at your old school confronted you in front of everyone at your old school to tear you down and humiliate you and ruin everything, but you happen to see the red in Chrissy’s eyes.

You try to tell yourself she’s probably high, everybody in your old clique at the boarding school you were in before life -and shitty, neglectful parents, landed you in Hawkins in the big lonely house on the end of the street. But something about that thought doesn’t fit. Then you remember hearing her mother shouting earlier, halfway up the block.

What’s more is you heard her over your father’s true pride and joy, a top dollar home theater system. That wasn’t on low volume by any means because you were trying to drive out the tomb-like silence.

You rub the bridge of your nose and it’s what she says next that sways you into sticking around. “Please don’t go. I…I won’t annoy you and this isn’t a trick, okay? I just... I want someone to talk to right now. Please?”

You take a deep breath. “Fine.” you finally respond. The two of you make your way back over to the jungle gym she’d previously been sitting on and for about ten minutes, you’re both just sitting in complete silence.

“The freaks..” Chrissy starts and you cut her off. “They’re not freaks.” you assert calmly, giving her a warning look. “They’re my friends. I think they are, I dunno...” you go quiet and your words trail off as you look down at the manicure you’d given yourself that afternoon while watching General Hospital and babysitting the two youngest Sinclair girls. You’d done the two girls nails to match, of course.

“Sorry, it’s just…” Chrissy swallows hard, swinging bare feet around, her feet making a soft thud when the heels of them met the wood plank behind them. “That’s what everyone around here calls them. It’s a bad habit and I hate it.”

“Then don’t do it. Y’know, you do have the power to change things.” you say it with a quiet laugh and you immediately apologize. “Don’t take my advice. Trust me.” you add a few seconds later. “Because I tried to change things at the boarding school I was at before… Only ended with me getting fucked over.”

Chrissy cringes and looks at you in concern, but closer up, you’re thinking to yourself that if anyone needs a concerned look right now, it’s her. You start to ask her if she’s eaten because everything about the way her face just looks so damn tired makes you think about Elaine from your old school. Before you can stop yourself and remind yourself that Chrissy is one of them and they’re not to be trusted under any circumstance, you’ve asked the question. “Are you okay?”

“The whole neighborhood heard it.” Chrissy mumbles softly. “I thought just this once she’d be proud of me,y’know?” she’s wiping at her eyes and you tense a little because all you wanted to do when you left your house was come down and sit in silence to look up at the stars.

Try to quiet your own noisy mind and all the doubts and fears in it for just a little while. Try to stop yourself from calling Gareth at fuck all o’clock because he’s the only one you sort of trust and you just needed to hear his voice because you’re determined not to give anybody - a friend, your parents, a boy, that much of a hold on you again.

Instead of admitting that you heard it because that feels like the wrong thing to do somehow, you shrug. “I was watching some stupid show.” you mumble quietly. It’s not a complete lie, you were watching tv when it happened. You just omit the fact that you heard her mother lashing out at both her and her father over the volume level of said television show.

She looks a little relieved that maybe one person didn’t hear her mother lashing out. You manage a weak smile and repeat your earlier question because to an extent, she hasn’t fully answered it. She looks down at her bare feet and shakes her head. “I hate being me.”

And you feel that in your bones. But you don’t say anything. She laughs and it’s a quiet and almost bitter sound. “I mean, perfect boyfriend, perfect grades, perfect body… You’d think I’d be happy…Right?” she shakes her head and mutters a quiet, “Forget it.”

“No,no.” you reach out for her wrist when she goes to leave. “Finish what you were going to say. It’s not like I’m gonna sleep tonight anyway.” with a mild shrug.

“Your parents too?” she asks and the question is almost hopefully phrased as she searches your eyes. You bite your lip and shrug. “Lack thereof, actually. They won’t be back from their little business trip until December, if they even come back. According to my father, they’re in talks to merge with some other entertainment business and go in together to open some nightclub or something. They could be gone a year or something, I really don't know..” you laugh quietly.

“Wasn’t your father talking to the mayor about re-visiting the whole idea to buy out the mall?”

“Yeah, he was. Then he got this offer and decided to go with it. Mayor Kline didn’t want to negotiate, something about the current owners of the mall had a better idea.” you shrug, rolling your eyes.

“So you’re there alone?”

“There’s a cleaning lady that comes in twice a week. It’s not like it’s a big deal.” you shrug it off. It is a big deal but you’re so used to the endless parade of service people in and out and the absence of your actual parents that now you just get numb because there’s no hope left.

“We weren’t talking about me, Chrissy.” you mumble after the silence gets just a little too thick. She sighs. “I hate him. I hate him and I hate my mother. But I still love her and I want her to be proud of me just once so I do everything I can…”

You gaze at her and nod. “Listen, this is your life. Fuck them.”

She manages a nervous smile. Twists a strand of strawberry blonde around her finger. “I wish it were that easy.”

“This is gonna sound selfish but trust me.. Or don’t, whatever.” you’re swinging your feet as you look up at the moon and stars overhead. After a second or two to pause and think about how best to word it, you decide to just say it. “Has that idiot Jason Carver ever done anything good or helpful for you?” you gaze at her.

“Well, no but–”

You shake your head. “No buts. Him ‘making you popular’ or whatever bullshit you were about to say is not important, it doesn’t count.” you laugh quietly. The more you sit and talk to her on the jungle gym in the middle of the night, the more you’re confronted with just how much alike you both are.

You don’t like that, it doesn’t sit well.

This in turn, leads you to sort of think that maybe it’s time you follow the advice you’re giving her. Or try harder to.

“Okay, what about your mother? When’s the last time she actually gave a shit?”

Chrissy’s mouth opens and closes and she’s in deep thought. You shrug mildly. “Do what makes you happy. To hell with your mother definitely, Hawkins High student body and especially that piece of shit Jason Carver.”

“Why are you telling me this? I..” she trails off, laughing softly. “I thought you hated us.”

No sense in deluding the poor girl, you respond quietly, “Most of you, yeah. I wouldn’t spare a drop of pee if most of you were on fire..” you gaze at her thoughtfully. “Maybe you’re different. Maybe it’s not too late for you.” and as you say this, you focus all your energy into it because if it’s not too late for her this means it’s not too late for you.

She manages a weak smile. “Maybe.”

“What does make you happy, hm?”

Chrissy giggles quietly. “There’s this boy.” she starts and instantly, you get the feeling you might possibly not want to hear the rest because if it all centers around a boy -because right now, god that sounds just way too close to home and you’re definitely not in the state of mind to deal with that just yet, it’s probably gonna be an awful disaster for her.

“No, I meant like.. Hobbies?” you clarify what you meant.

“Cheerleading. That really does make me happy. It’s the only thing that keeps me hanging on.”

Like your ballet. That your parents took you out of to put you in boarding school so they could jet around god knows where and do anything but be parents. Your mother claims to this day that she was doing it for your own good because you weren’t good enough and she was saving you from pain later, but you honestly didn’t care if you were any good or not, you just loved to dance. You loved the structure and the discipline because it was something nobody gave a shit about you enough to give to you at home.

Besides the one nanny you had when you were 10, the only one who acted like a goddamn parent and didn’t treat you like you were just some kind of little prop when needed. But they took her too because your father said attachments were something that would make you weak.

You nod and you smile a little. Before you stop yourself with the reminder that again, she is one of them and therefore, not to be trusted even a little, you mumble quietly, “Ballet.” and you give a shrug. “I was in classes but my mother decided I wasn’t doing well enough at it to warrant going anymore.”

Chrissy swallows hard and she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. You mumble an apology because there you go again, making it awkward. “Sorry, I… That should’ve stayed in my head.”

“No, no.. It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

And she doesn’t.

Something she’s thinking about makes her smile just a little and you bite your lip, looking at her. “Okay, out with it. What’s his name?” you decide that maybe it's safer to stick to boys or whatever else you can both think of because this conversation is getting just a shade too heavy right now for you but you want to talk to her, you need to talk to someone.

“Eddie Munson.” Chrissy answers in an almost dreamy and shy tone as she laughs softly. "It feels so good to just say it."

You gape for a second and then you laugh quietly. “Wow. I..” you shake your head, dragging your hand through damp hair, “I was not expecting that.”

“You can’t say anything, alright? Please?” she begs.

You’d never say a word, one, because you dunno if she’s trustworthy or not just yet and two, you know how that feels. To trust somebody with something and then they take it and use it against you somehow, make a total mess of everything.

You rub your forehead.

This entire conversation has been one eye-opener after another.

Some necessary and some, like Chrissy’s confession about having a crush on Eddie Munson, totally shocking. But you feel a little lighter somehow. You come away with the desire to stop letting life run over you repeatedly. To stand up for yourself more. With everyone. To stop giving a shit about anyone who doesn’t give a shit about you.

“I won’t.” you manage a smile and hold up your pinkie despite it being the height of childish. She links her pinkie through and you both laugh quietly.

“Y’know..” you’re not even sure why you’re suggesting it, maybe it’s to save her from Jason Carver turning into a worse man later in life and her being trapped, maybe it’s just for shits and giggles because you cannot, for the life of you picture Eddie, an actual golden retriever idiot, - the thought comes with all the friendly affection you can muster, of course,  with her.

“Yeah?”

“Eddie’s a way better person than Jason. Jason’s only going to get worse.”

Chrissy nods. The look in her eyes tells you that this isn’t something she hasn’t thought about a thousand times already. You shrug and lean back against the metal pull bar beside the top of the slide behind you so that you’re actually facing her completely. You laugh a little. “I need to take some of my own advice.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.. that whole fuck them speech? It was aimed at me too.” you admit, going  quiet to stare down at the cracks in the wood beneath you. Chrissy laughs softly. “So do it.”

“You first.” you deadpan, sticking out your tongue.

“Okay, what if we both do it?”

“Do you think they’d be able to handle both of us just lighting a match and watching everything and everyone who didn't care enough and we no longer care about burn though?” you ask quietly, kicking your feet again as you admit in a quiet whisper, “Because I’ve got so much anger sometimes I can’t sleep.”

“I know what you mean. Mine isn’t… It’s more pain than anger.”

“Pain turns into anger, you know that, right? But the whole numb thing, that comes first most of the time. Or that’s how it worked for me.”

“Yeah.”

Both of you go quiet again and then she looks at you. “What’s it like?”

“Hm?” you glance up at her. 

“Dating Gareth Emerson?”

You laugh softly.

“We’re..” you trail off and lean your head back against the wooden post. “He’s just my friend.”

“But you wish there was more going on… Right?”

You shrug. “A little yes, a little bit I’m too scared to even think about it. I’m a fucking mess, okay? Just like.. Trust me.” 

“You don’t seem that bad.”

“Thank you.” you mumble.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Chrissy is poking the bear because she doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell him. She always sees you two around school. And everybody thinks you’re dating him, especially after the brawl that happened a week or two back between him and Mason Allen. A brawl that Mason Allen hasn’t quite gotten over just yet. The thought reminds her that she was going to warn you to warn Gareth and his friends to watch their backs, so she butts in to say so.

“Hey, you might want to warn Gareth.. And his friends. Mason’s furious because Gareth kicked his butt.”

“Oh he is, huh?” you muse, glancing at her. “Is he planning something?”

“Just says that when he catches him alone, he’s going to get him back.”

You scoff. “Yeah, like hell that’s going to happen. I won’t let it.” you assert.

But really, can you stop it? You weren’t brave enough to stand up for yourself thus creating the mess in the first place. Even as the thought hits you, you know that you’re at least going to try. Whatever it takes. Because you’re not going to let Gareth get dragged into something you should’ve been brave enough to handle on your own.

“I’ll warn him later.” you mumble to yourself. Chrissy circles back to her original question, asking again why you don’t just tell Gareth how you feel. You laugh softly. “You first, sweets. I happen to know Munson would be fuckin thrilled. He’s always watching you.” you give her a slightly warmer grin as you say it.

Chrissy nods and takes a deep breath or two. “It’s not that easy.”

“My point exactly.”

“I thought you were dating Gareth, I mean.. He calls you bunny. And you’re always with him. You’re both always kind of touching each other?” Chrissy points out quietly. You laugh again. “I have not the first clue where Gareth came up with that nickname. I just told him he could call me literally anything but my name because I hate it so much and then he started calling me bunny.” you shrug, laughing again. “Knowing him, it probably has to do with me eating vegetables and fruit. Something off the wall like that.”

“What do you call him?” Chrissy giggles as she asks the question, smiling at you all soft and serene.

“Never to his face and this doesn’t leave us, got it?” you look at her and take a deep breath before bursting into laughter. “Pretty boy. I uh.. Had a real interesting dream a few nights ago when I got a little crazy and raided my mom’s wine and I’m pretty sure I called him daddy a thousand times during that.. But seriously,” you’re staring at your pale pink toenails as you swing your feet back and forth, “I call him meatball most of the time. Because he’s stronger than he looks, meatballs are kind of a comfort food for me and like… I dunno where I was going with that. I called him tiger once and his face went so fucking red, it was the cutest thing…” you double over, laughing at your sap and stupidity. 

You cringe a little. “That was way too much information.”

“No, it’s okay. This is nice. Can we?” she fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater while looking down, “Can we do this again sometime? Can I talk to you and stuff at school?”

You laugh and shrug. You don’t expect her to follow through on the talking at school thing, not even slightly, but you smile and nod. “Yeah. Sure. Why not?” you mumble, wondering to yourself the whole time if you’re going to regret it in the long run.

Something tells you maybe this time you won’t.

You haven’t regretted a single second since you made the decision not to get sucked right back in with the type of people you used to be friends with and be like, to an extent. 

Chrissy grins brightly at you. You manage a slightly smaller bright grin. “Hey, if you ever need somewhere to go, I’m at the end of the street. The big blue house.” you point out your house to her and she nods. “I’ll probably take you up on that a lot.”

– ( jeff’s garage )

The heavy haze hung in the air and Jeff fanned in front of his face a little as he passes the joint to Grant. Grant took a hit and passes it to Eddie.

Eddie nudges Gareth and Gareth blinks.

“Okay, meatball. Focus, idiot.” Jeff laughs out.

Gareth gives him a dirty look and flips him off. “Fuck off, Jeff.”

“What? I can’t call you that but she can? I thought she wasn’t your girl… Meatball.” Jeff scoots himself away from the circle and lays on the cement slab floor laughing his ass off.

“Of all the nicknames. She picks that one.”Gareth shakes his head, laughing even though sometimes, it is a little annoying. But to be fair, you only started calling him meatball when he started calling you bunny.

And now, it’s become a habit.

“Pretty sure she’ll say the same thing, you call her bunny.” Eddie points it out and this prompts the rest of the little circle to glance at Gareth.

Gareth’s face is on fire and he gives Eddie a death glare. “Dickhole.”

“What? I heard you earlier.” Eddie shrugs.

“Of everything you could call her, man.. Bunny? Seriously?” Jeff questions.

“Why bunny?” Grant asks quietly as he fixes his gaze on Gareth, waiting on an answer.

Gareth laughs and shakes his head, taking a hit of the joint before passing it on to Jeff. He exhales and at first, he tries to just shrug it off without answering.

“You know the rule. Spit it out.” Eddie says it so sternly and with such a shit-eating grin at the same time  that they all burst out laughing.  “This is the circle, Gare. No secrets.”

“Fuckers.” Gareth grumbles, irritated. “Fine. If any of you says a word, I swear to Ozzy..” he trails off and grins, kicking his sneakers together as he leans back, propping on his hands to gaze up at the ceiling. “It’s that little nose wrinkle, okay? It’s.. It’s so fucking cute and it reminds me of that rabbit my older sister Sarah had. And she’s always kicking her foot against the desk.”

Jeff is laughing harder, so hard that he takes a hit and it nearly doubles him over because he can’t stop laughing and he inhales and nearly chokes himself down on the smoke in the process. “Say what now?” he looks at Gareth.

Gareth shrugs and cringes as he adds in a quieter tone, “And she’s shorter than me, there’s that. Look, she’s small and cute… Like a rabbit. If you assholes say one word, I’m gonna kick your asses, got it?”

“Okay.”

“Fine.”

“Scout’s dishonor.” Eddie taunts, smirking. Gareth leans out to give him a lazy shove. “Especially not you, asshole.” Gareth warns.

“Aw, he really is in love.”

“I’m not, damn it. I’m not.” Gareth insists, glaring at his friends even though he knows it’s a lie deep down. And even  though it’s been weeks now and she hasn’t proven his original assumption right yet, he’s still living every single second that he knows you with the worry that eventually, the other shoe is going to drop.

Only now, he’s gone and fucked up, truly. He’s too attached now. So when -not if, because he’s convinced that this is too good to be true and any day now, he’ll wake up and it’ll have been a dream or a figment of his imagination, something, the bad thing does happen, it’s going to crush the guy.

The more he tries to fight it off, the deeper he winds up falling. It’s exciting, it’s terrifying and it’s frustrating as hell, especially lately, with the little nicknames and the way he can’t stop himself from touching you all the damn time.

“Just fucking do something, Gare. If you don’t, it’s going to drive you crazy and you will explode.” Jeff’s outburst has Grant and Eddie nodding in agreement. “The tension’s so fucking thick you’re kind of giving us all blue balls, idiot. Any second now,” Eddie wags his finger at Gareth with a smug look on his face, “You will explode.”

“I will not. It’ll be fine. Look, maybe being her friend is enough, man.”

“Bullshit.” Grant coughs but doesn’t bother covering the word as he does it.

“Yeah, he’s full of shit.” Jeff agrees, laughing as he shakes his head. “You’re full of shit.”

“That’s the biggest load of horse shit.” Eddie exclaims.

“Fuck all of you, alright? Why aren’t we talking about Munson making ga-ga eyes at a certain cheerleader, huh?” Gareth smirks when Eddie flips him off and he moves away from the circle, laughing. “Doesn’t feel so fucking great, does it?” he asks, folding his arms.

“Your situation and mine are totally different, shithead.” Eddie answers, going quiet. “Y’know I can’t tell her anything. She’s one of them.”

“And any day now, my girl could be too, idiot.” Gareth points out quietly.

Jeff shakes his head. “If you were any more stubborn you’d be a goddamn brick wall, Emerson. If she was going anywhere, she’d have done it at least the third or fourth day she was here. No… she’s always with you, with us, dumb fucker. Wake up.”

“I can’t with him, I really just can’t. Says all that and calls her his girl. Makes no sense.” Eddie mumbles, shaking his head too.

“You’re blind and an idiot, Emerson. And I mean that with all the care in the world.” Grant muses, taking a sip of a soda he only just remembers that he’d grabbed from Jeff’s kitchen earlier.

“As I said just a second ago, fuck all of you.” Gareth flips off his friends as he stands. “I’ll see you assholes tomorrow. Gotta get home.”

And as he’s leaving, his friends' opinions just won’t get out of his head. No amount of shoving them down will help, either because he’s starting to realize, even now, that they’re all right. Sooner or later -probably sooner, just being your friend isn’t going to be enough. It’s already starting, truth be told.

But the poor guy has not the first clue what to do to move things one way or another.

[teddybeartoji]

breaks into your inbox………. hello mickey :3 i saw the selfship ask game and !!!! i’m here to ask . abt . mitoru and misho <333 🍾🥞🍮 <- with these questions!!! they were all so cute so it was hard 2 pick…….

anyway I LOVE YOUU sending satoshoko your way as we speak ……. they will wipe your post-leak tears gently!!!!! 🫂🫂🫂

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARII HIHIHIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR MITORU

🍾 - who confessed first, and how did it happen?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MITORU THE PAIR OF STUPIDS!!!!!! IT WAS A DRUNKEN CONFESSIONN😭😭😭😭 we're both lightweights buuuuut he's sooo much worse plss and i guess he just couldn't hold it in anymore:(((((((((( like we talked before mitoru is still very very much a friends to lovers story!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we were just hanging out at suguru's place, watching a movie and having a few drinks and thenn we ended up kind of cuddling??? very normal for us though nobody blinked an eye. he gets soo sleepy and eextra clingy after he's had One Single drink so i was just playing with his hair while he rested his face in the crook of my neck. and then he just kinda whispered it to me.............. and it caught me so off guard. bc like hhhhhhh you didn't wanna tell me that somewhere elsee?????? sugu and shoko are sitting like right fucking there and you're telling me that you like me rn?????????????????? looking back at it it's cute but at the time i did freak out a little. like i just didn't know how to. deal with it. it was a lot. i was just sitting there with a red face lmao

ooh i had to ask him to repeat it like three times bc yk i thought he was just messing around. "i like you" "i like you too, dummy." "no, like i really like you." "i really, really like you too." "like i wanna kiss you -like you." "oh... oh??? OH??????????????????????????????????????????" yeahh look i'm just glad that sugu and shoko decided to NOT ask abt my flustered face and i'm glad that satoru was so out of it i might've actually died

we all stayed at sugu's for the night btw. it wasn't necessarily awkward the morning after. just a little.. mmm quiet. bc when i woke up - suguru and shoko had both left?????????🤨🤨🤨those little shits. fuckass cupids SMHHHHHHHHHH. but i am very thankful bc then we got to have this silly little conversation over coffee. it was very sweet actually. we were both very nervous. and he ofc pretended to not remember it AT ALL🤨🤨i get that it might've been hazy in his mind but are you actually trying to tell me that you were blackout drunk after three drinks satoru?🤨🤨 wahh he's my stupid<333333 this got so long butttttt that's how it wentt hehehehe and then we also ofc got our first kiss interrupted by sugushoko coming back home:33333333333

🥞 - who spoils the other more?

no matter how much i try to spoil him................................. he always outdoes it...................... SMHHH I CAN NEVER WIN AT THIS GAMEE>:(((( while he loves spending money on it (i'm not even gonna lie i love that a lot lmao), iiii spoil him with affection. i am glued to him. at all times. i'm spoiling him with kisses and praise and sweets and more praise and compliments and smooches and wahhh the smile on his face is so worth it i luv him sm:(((((

🍮 - what's something you do that always makes your f/o smile, and/or vice versa?

do a bit. that sounds so ridiculous, and it is ridiculous but i am nothing if not a storyteller alright, when i tell a tale from my past you fucking BETTT that i am acting out the different characters and the tones, i set the scene i yell i laugh it's a whole show. and he loves it:3333333 he also loves hearing me lose my shit in estonian lmao. like when i'm on the phone with a friend and we're talking abt drama or smth yk?? and i'm just pacing around the room, borderline screaming strange words into the phone hagsaghsahshga it's a Sight.

his stupid jokes. i am not immune. in any way. the stupider the better. aaaand when he acts clingy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and when he brings me flowers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and honestly. just seeing him makes me so happy. it's soooo sappy but i can't help it okay he's my favourite boy in the whole wide world:((( I LOVEEE HIMMMM ARIII I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUUCHHH

FOR MISHO

🍾 - who confessed first, and how did it happen?

she did actually. bc while i act All-Knowing... i don't actually really understand how ppl feel by just gauging their expressions😭😭 blame the autism here ok. after our first (PROPER🤨) kiss i just stared at her bc ?????????? did you mean that or are you playing with me rn????????? she kinda laughed at me so i died a little but then she held my face in her hands while telling me that she does, in fact, really like me:3333333333

🥞 - who spoils the other more?

i spoil her a little more:3333333 just bc i love doing it sm!!!!!!! i love her smile so fucking much i would literally kill for her ok. i always buy her snacks and things that she has mentioned that she likes yk? and i like doing stuff like drawing her a bath and washing her hair and just pampering her:33333333333 if you think i sound like a servant here just wait until the next question... wheew the things i would do for herr!!!!

🍮 - what's something you do that always makes your f/o smile, and/or vice versa?

do everything she asks me to. like there genuinely is just ZERO back talk. she wants water but i'm in bed and half asleep? you got it babe. she wants smth to eat but her phone is too far (mine is even further)? fret not queen i'm on it. she needs to take a piss but she's tired? I WILL FUCKING CARRRYYY HER THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got that servant in meee i love her so baddd OHHH AND ALSO!!! when i ramble:3

aaand it always makes me smile when she shows interest in the video games that i'm playing!!!!!!!!!! they're not reaaally her thing, so it means a lot when she takes the time to watch me play and ask questions abt them!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's veryvery sweet!!!

selfship asks<3

[itstaisstuff]

ummmmmm okay so this is embarrassing. so. i know i said a week but actually i am here again and not vanishing into the fog sorry about that *awkwardly clears throat* ANYWAY hi it is i that one guy who keeps bothering about tangdubs!! i am aiming to add more fics to that tag so iiii was wondering if i could bother u for a prompt or two for some little fics i could try to write :3 i have so many longer things in the works but well.. a little oneshot is good for the mind..

Oh omg hiiii heyy helloww that one guy who keeps bothering about tangdubs!! *kicking my feet twirling my hair and giggling* I missed ya, sweet anon<3

You don't even know how happy I am to get this ask because OH VOID. I HAVE SOOO MANY THINGS I WANNA WRITE BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE OF TIME. So let's see what exactly you want!!

Keep in mind: even if you won't like the ideas I'm glad to just share them. Also you can tweak them however you want!!

Something fluff?

Haha. Little coffee shop au. Bdubs is a barista in this little shop, working 2/2 and Tango is the best friend of hisregular(Impulse) and just moved in town. As time goes by Tango starts to visit this coffee shop without Impulse, he comes around even on holidays when he doesn't have to go to work. He goes there mainly because of this handsome very mockable barista. I can go into the depths of this au, but in this case this will be a loong answer(but you can always ask about it if you want to) so the only thing you need to know for now is just how they both are completely fallen for each other and keep trying to harmlessly prank each other (mainly verbally, but sometimes Bdubs would give Tango a salt instead of sugar just for fun knowing it wouldn't change anything and Tango won't stop visiting and ordering stuff)

The idea for fic I had was them just hanging out during Bdubs' break while he does one of these stupid crosswords from a cringey journal someone left. I'm gonna leave the rest to you, but the main idea was about Tango saying "if kiss is just a word, then I have a serious conversation with you". What was it for? What's gonna happen next? Idk, you tell me!

Something angsty?

Little fantasy au is for you! Local wizard Bdubs living in a forest and Royal engineer Tango who visits his place from time to time due to King's order to ask the wizard for something. Living far from everyone makes you feel very lonely. Especially when a very certain handsome blonde engineer with blue eyes(yes I'm a blue eyed Tango enjoyer so what?) you clinge to is not around. They may know each other, but it doesn't seem like Tango actually shows any interest in the wizard guy. But oh well. If Bdubs wants something, he'll get what he wants. No matter how. Even if he'll have to make a love potion just for his beloved one to be around. He'll do that. And so, the potion is ready, will be served whenever the engineer is back with a task from the king, and Bdubs will never see the pretty blue eyes he's fallen for. Instead there will be bright ruby eyes, looking at him with all the love in the world, holding him as gently as noone has before, sweet talking Bdubs, making him compliments... That's what he wanted, right? Bdubs is supposed to be happy. But he knows it's all fake. Every single world Tango says, smile he gives, cuddling, it is all fake. It is all because of the potion Bdubs made. He is... Happy, really. He got what he wanted. Except the pretty sincere blue eyes with the real spark of joy.

I actually did a little fix by myself, so yeah. You know the rules. Ask box is opened if you're interested, I guess? I don't really have an idea for a oneshot. But it can be turned into a very emotional fic with Bdubs blaming himself for killing Tango's personality and realizing what a rotten person he is for enjoying Tango's fake love. So selfish.

Something spicy?

Yeah. This is also an option. So... Phantom Bdubs. He's like a werewolf, but werephantom. That's why he always sleeps. Once he wakes up, he doesn't remember anything from his night hunt, he can just tell it happened by the blood on his face and sharp pain in the back from having wings. It happens once in a while, maybe few times a year if he keeps the good sleeping schedule. It is the same Bdubs with the same memories and emotions, just the need for blood. He doesn't care who it is. He needs to get blood. Usually he keeps some. Animals around for an unexpected occasions so he would never hurt his friends. But once the season 8 comes around and the moon... Well, messes everything up, Bdubs' abilities to control that are fucked. No matter how much he sleeps, he knows it will happen. The first time he didn't expect it to happen, but once he woke up with this fading taste of blood, it because really weird. He travels around the server asking if everyone is alright and if anyone's pets has dissaleared lately, but everything seems normal. This is weird. But as long as noone is hurt, Bdubs can relax. Or at least he thinks noone is hurt. It keeps happening for a month, two. Bdubs starts to worry. Whatever is he eating during the phantom phase is still not found, but none of the hermits say anything, so... It's still not affecting anyone. With the moon stuff everything gets worse, every hermits suffers in one way or another. But Bdubs is really worried about Tango, who seems to be getting really cold. He is much more pale and started wearing sweaters, he just seems much weaker in general. Moreover, he starts to act... Different, when Bdubs is around. He doesn't know what's happening, so he just helps Tango any way he can. But what he doesn't know, is that Tango is his walking blood tank. And oh, if only it was just about the blood. As I said, phantom Bdubs is still the same Bdubs. He just doesn't care about hiding his emotions, because he knows he won't remember anything once he wakes up, plus the bloodthirst blind him so much he can't fully control his actions. He wants something– he gets it. Tango can't do anything about it, and... It's not like he doesn't like it. It hurts. It hurts a lot, actually, but oh, it is absolutely worth it. How confused and embarrassed was Bdubs when he woke up in a bed with Tango, both completely naked. Did Bdubs ever think it would happen? No, not really, but was he just so confused because he knew he was not supposed to be there? He still stayed for a little bit, just because one little thing he noticed. Tango had some bite marks. Bdubs carefully pulls the blanked away trying not to wake him up and sees that Tango has it all over his body. On his neck, his shoulders, his chest, his arms... Bdubs didn't want to even look down, just sure he will find more of the marks. Well, no wonder why he was getting so pale and weak lately. Bdubs haven't ever had so many mixed emotions in his life. Was he embarrassed to be in a bed with someone he most definitely likes with the marks of fun nights without ever remembering it? Was he in frustration because Tango was just volunteering his blood even though it is bad for him? Was he so tired of this all phantom stuff? Yes. All of that, yes. And he tries to leave before Tango wakes up. First few hours he spends in his room just laying on his bed staring at the ceiling being all red because of all the different thoughts about what they could have been doing. But for the next few weeks he will make sure Tango gets all the health support he needs. They never talk about it, but Bdubs still has this awkwardness. And the next time he wakes up in his own bed, having this taste of blood down his throat, he knows where he was a few hours ago. And he can only imagine how much he liked this night.

As for specific one shot request? Ofc you don't have to do anything... Spicy, yknow. I don't even think I have something on my mind for a fic, I just wanted to share this au in case you were looking for something like that. But feel free to write anything really-

Something closer to canon(non-au)?

Something about season 7 being the season when they started dating each other. Something about how Bdubs would lay in his bedroom which Tango built him failing to fall asleep because of this silly feeling. It's more of the "does he really appreciate me? Does he really care enough to gift me something like the whole bedroom? Does he really think I'm that cool?". Something about how Tango tries to do his best to impress Bdubs during the boomers business. Something about how they finally talk about they feel about each other while rebuilding the boomers logo in the middle of the ocean. That's it.

Okay, I think that's it! Ofc you can take any other idea based on any of these aus, idm. I'm just glad to finally talk about these. Anyways, I check ao3 once a month (just to check the tangdubs tag. Yup.) So there's a good chance I may miss it... So may I ask for a link once you finish something? And good luck with it, sweet anon!! Have an amazing day<3

[grayintogreen]

I was not technically tagged, but at least two people on my dash were like DO WHAT YOU WANT NO ONE IS YOUR GOD, and you know what? They’re right and valid. 

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

96! And 90% of them are from just this year. Can’t wait to find out what the big 100 is gonna be. Any one of my WIPS could be Disney’s next 100th fic.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

455,024 (also mostly from this year...)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In my entire life??? Since I was twelve??? I don’t even know, man. I wrote a lot of ooc crackfic and fic for cartoons when I was on FF.net, and then I was on LJ and wrote for a TON of different fandoms, but on AO3, I have written for Critical Role (so much CR), Yashahime/Inuyasha, Guardians of the Galaxy, His Dark Materials (TV), Steven Universe, Bleach, Alias, Supernatural, Dollhouse, Pushing Daisies (the last four were all transferred here from LJ, though)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

- turning wine back into water (Critical Role, de-aging fic with plot, 30457 words)

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE HOW POPULAR THIS FIC IS. It beat out two of my super popular GotG fics that have been up since 2017 BY A LOT. Apparently, there was a market for the Mighty Nein being adorable cocktail brats and saving the world. Thanks, Liam’s Quest!

It is probably one of the most wholesome fics I will ever write too. I love it.

- Sunshine Came Softly (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket and Mantis friendship, 3188 words)

THIS FIC STILL GETS HITS EVEN TODAY. It was written right after I saw the movie so it hit hard and fast on the hype train. 

- Mine Is Just a Slower Sacrifice (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket-centric, 2248 words)

BOY YOU CAN TELL THESE FICS ARE ANCIENT BECAUSE I HADN’T DEVELOPED MY TITLE NICHE YET. where are the lower caps and Seanan McGuire lyrics!!

Anyway, this was written probably IMMEDIATELY after I saw the movie and had to process Rocket’s emotions during the last moments, because of who I am as a person. For what’s mostly a character study, it got some mileage on it.

- they drink dreamers up like brandy (Critical Role, 1625 words)

Back to Critical Role! I wrote this one when I was in a fucking blind post-finale haze and producing massive amounts of Kingsley content and I wanted to write a silly fic about Caleb being tiefling catnip. 

- if adversity breeds character (we’ve character enough for two) (Critical Role, Beau and Molly-centric, 1824 words)

I feel like most of my most kudos-ed CR fics are Beau-related, which is funny because I never really wrote her EVER. I guess I need to write her more often. ANYWAY, this one got jossed immediately after 141, but I needed to write Beau and Molly bantering and I couldn’t get her flipping him off after revealing her card is Rumor out of my head.

(Incidentally my sixth most kudos-ed fic is my Fjorester next gen fic, WHICH I WAS NOT EXPECTING AT ALL. IT’S A FIC BASED ON MY OC FANCHILDREN!! I’M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!!)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually!! There are times when I forget and then it’s been so long that I never go back, but I like responding to comments. They make me so happy and I want to make sure the people who take the time to comment know that I see them and appreciate them. Especially if they give me long comments. You long commenters know who you are and I value you and also flail incoherently in your direction.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God, probably this church takes no conversions simply because, like, the whole ending scenes are MISERABLE AND FULL OF ANGST and then it has the hopeful ending that is actually a bullshit lie.

But second place probably goes to what couldn’t i offer, what couldn’t i give, which is just misery porn in disguise as a character study. Sorry, Cree.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay, so back in the day when I was a tineh fanbrat I wrote a lot of self-indulgent crossovers featuring my friends and I in true Mary Sue format being ~saviors of the world~ alongside our favorite fictional characters and after I grew out of that, I very rarely did it again, because as someone who can only write AUs if they’re high concept and can only write crossovers if the canon welding is pristine, it’s difficult.

I have ideas for some! I just haven’t written them yet. Or they’re sitting in Google Docs partially written.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, which is insane, because I’ve written some things in my youth that deserved it, but also I was a kid, so maybe I definitely did not deserve it. Don’t send hate to kids!!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

The first smut I ever posted on AO3 involved some fucking American Gods flesh horror shit, so that answers your second question.

Basically, yes, but I write smut to facilitate character development in a way that regular story beats can’t, mainly with characters who are in some way deeply fucked up and have unbalanced dynamics. 

So basically chances of me writing smut that isn’t Creecien or Lucigast? Very low. (I haven’t written Lucigast smut yet but I will. Inevitably.)

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone’s told me, but one time when I was a teenager someone ripped off an entire group messageboard RP I was in and tried to pass it off as a fic they wrote.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that anyone’s told me!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried and it did not work out, because of (non-wanky) reasons, but it’s just not something I’d be very good at. I was the kid who wanted to work alone on group projects. I’m bad at group work.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

That I’ve WRITTEN??? Because that at least narrows it down significantly. Sesshoumaru/Rin hands down. It’s a good dynamic and they’re fun and sad at the same time. 

My self-indulgent ass does also enjoy writing Creecien though. I’m putting it out there because I want it.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

GOD POOR SUPERNOVAS OF ALL SOUND AND LIGHT. THAT FIC COULD’VE BEEN A CONTENDER, but I unfortunately posted it RIGHT BEFORE the White Diamond episodes aired and it became so jossed by canon so fast that I gave up on life with chapter two half finished. I need to delete it but I can’t bring myself to bury my shame.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and meta-narrative and character-specific stuff. I go into every story with CHARACTER FIRST mentality, which is how I end up writing so many damn character studies or why my word counts explode. I’m just out here naval gazing because I love character stuff SO MUCH.

I’ve been told I’m good at fight/action scenes too, which... Shocks me, but I think watching and playing a lot of D&D stuff has really improved how I write fighting and action sequences.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

[whispers] too much naval gaze. dial it back, bitch. 

I get really caught up in character stuff and forget to do important things like ADVANCE THE SCENE OR DESCRIBE THE SCENE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING. I also don’t think my prose is all that great, but I’m pretty sure every writer feels that imposter syndrome bullshit, so /waves hands. All I’m saying is I have seen some writers on AO3 who are writing some fucking vivid imagery and stringing flawless sentences together and weaving introspection and description together like beautiful baskets and they are stronger than any US Marine and I salute them and wish to be them.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Iiii try not to. There’s times where I want to throw in, like, a little Zemnian for Caleb flair, but I try to stick to things that are either untranslatable (like German compound words), common phrases (like please or come here), or insults/curses/ pet names. Things that I don’t think Google will fucking lie to me about.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was a Sailor Moon crackfic about Haruka being forced to enter a beauty pageant which was just a blatant rip-off of Ms Congeniality and oh my god was it awful. I don’t even wanna talk about it.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this church takes no conversions, probably BECAUSE it’s my little red-headed stepchild of a fic involving so many things that are just never going to make it popular (backstory fic, fic that is almost 85% headcanon, doesn’t involve popular characters, etc.), but godDAMMIT I love that fic so much. It was fun and I use every bit of that headcanon in almost everything like it’s my job.

shattered stage is a close second, because it was such a crazy concept for a fic that I PULLED OFF SOMEHOW and is this wonderful mix of crazy plot and character and lore and my three favorite tieflings having to work together. And also Jayne Merriweather as the main villain. 

A lot of love went into both of those fics and they are my babies. this time next year we’ll see if I add Creedemption and shoot at fate to this list- probably. All of my epic long fics resolve to be my babies because I spent so much time on them, and I have to love them and cherish them because I raised them into gigantic wordy attempts to write a doorstopper.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by calligomiles)

“Hey, Abbie!” Magallan had escaped her lab to track down Asbestos, who was (per her usual) watching as the Doctor acted a fool. “I need your help with...Is he alright?”

“He’s drunk off his ass,” she replied, laughing to herself as he sat down at a table with Schwarz, Skadi, and W and began trying to flirt with them.

The Liberi shook her head with a smile. “He’ll probably feel that tomorrow. Anyway, I need your help with an expedition-”

“Can’t.” The Savra downed a shot for herself. “Going out on one myself soon.”

“Really? Perfect! I’ll just go with you!”

Asbestos turned away from what promised to be a bloodbath with a disbelieving stare. “You’ll what?”

“I need to test some new drone models in a non-frozen environment,” she replied, “so an expedition with you will be the perfect way to test them!”

“Why would someone who spends all their time waddling around penguins need something that works outside of the arctic?”

Magallan simply chuckled. “Abbie, you know I don’t just do arctic expeditions. Besides, I haven’t been somewhere warm in a while, so I need to make sure my equipment will work the next time my patron needs me out of the tundra. You won’t even know I’m there, I promise!”

“...Alright,” the Savra sighed, deciding she’d rather finish enjoying her Doctor-watching than argue. “Just don’t bother me about it here nex- Damn it, you made me miss something good!”

“Huh? Oh, Ceylon looks angry - that’s new.” The pair watched with interest as the pride of Siesta picked up a chair and bonked the Doctor on the head with it before W grabbed him by the arm and dropped a smoke pellet which set the whole bar coughing; when it cleared, Ceylon had taken the Doctor’s seat, and business continued as usual.

Asbestos groaned. “Damnit, now how am I s’posed to entertain myself...Guess we’re talking about this expedition, then.”

“Yay!” The Liberi sat down at the bar next to her. “Hey, bartender, can you do a frozen daiquiri for me?”

“What was that about not being a winter wanderer?”

She shrugged. “It’s better cold. So, where are we going?”

“Checking out a dormant volcano in the badlands,” the Savra replied. “Apparently it’s starting to heat back up, so I’m gonna map it out before it melts down again.”

“Ah, gotcha! Like the Black Flow, but earlier along.”

Asbestos shook her head. “Not quite. No chance for fumes this time, and it won’t be as hot.”

“Oh, okay, that’ll be nice. Thanks!” Magallan sipped her daiquiri with a smile. “Ahh~ Hey, Abbie?”

“We’re not gonna get far into plannin’ this, are we?”

She laughed. “Why would we? We know what volcanoes do; we’ll be fine!”

“Great.” The Savra stood up. “So I can go, then-”

“No, I’ve got something else I wanna talk about! Please?” The Liberi’s eyes shone like stars.

She narrowed her eyes. “What in the...Where’d you learn to do that?”

“Pleeeeeease?” She put a twenty on the bar. “I’ll buy you another drink, whatever you want.”

“...Alright, spit it out.” Asbestos sat back down.

Magallan clapped. “Great! So, since you’re staying, what’s going on between you and the Doctor?”

“That twenty’s not gonna last ya very long,” the Savra sighed as she signaled the bartender for another round. “Why’s that important to you, anyway?”

“Because it iiiis.” Her cheeks were already flushed.

She smirked. “Not so good with alcohol either, are you?”

“Nope!” The Liberi leaned forward. “So? You know I’ll just keep asking.”

“...I just like watching him is all. He’s an entertaining idiot when he’s drunk,” she admitted.

She giggled. “Come on, there’s gotta be more than that!”

“There really isn’t.” Asbestos sighed. “Look, why does it matter to you why I mess with him? You got a crush on me or something?”

“Maybe I do~”

The Savra’s eyes flew open. “Wait, what?”

“Oooh! I’ve never seen your eyes do that.” Magallan smiled at her. “That’s pretty cute~”

“Maggie, come on, stop messing with me here-”

The Liberi leaned even farther forward, far enough that Asbestos now had to lean backwards to avoid touching her. “You know I don’t play like that, Abbie~”

“What the hell has gotten into you?” With nowhere to turn, she pushed back on the other explorer’s shoulders. “Seriously, stop.”

“Or what?”

The Savra’s tail began to glow. “What was that?”

“I knooow you, Abbie.” She was entirely out of it by this point. “You wuddn’t hurt little ol’ me for wanting to kiss you~”

“I might if you don’t get out of my face,” Asbestos muttered half-heartedly.

Magallan giggled again. “You’re so cute~ Just give me one, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“...Just one, huh?” The Liberi nodded, and the Savra sighed. “Alright, then. One kiss.”

“Yay!” She hopped closer, stool in tow, so she could actually land the kiss in question, as her target braced herself.

…Actually…“We’re going now.”

“Aww- wait, we?” Magallan couldn’t have heard her right. “We?”

“Yeah, we. Let’s go.” Asbestos got off her stool, lifted the Liberi off hers, and left the bar.

“Where are we going, Abbie?” She lifted the cap off the Savra’s head and put it on, beaming.

She rolled her eyes. “Stop being so cute, damnit...My room, where else?”

“Ooooh~” Magallan giggled, clapping. “Yay! I didn’t even have to get drunk!”

“...What?”

The Liberi kissed her forehead. “I was just pretending~ I did a good job, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah you did.” She sighed. “Well, we’ve both played our cards now, so I guess there’s nothing else to do about this.”

“Oh, absolutely nothing else. Let’s go have some fun!”

Asbestos shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

The smile on her face, though, said anything but.

[harrystylinslut]

my live in time review of Emerald Fennell’s ‘Promising Young Woman’ (2020)

Promising Young Woman

Dir Emerald Fennell

So hello friends welcome to my reviews. I type my pure, unfiltered (mostly) thoughts about movies. I call it ‘chey watches films’ and I promise it’s going to stop being so serious. 

My first film I decided to do this on is Promising Young Woman since it was a hit at this past Sunday’s Oscars. Which was amazing - btw. So, of course. Spoilers ahead. These were my thoughts as they happened knowing nothing about the story because I don’t watch trailers on purpose. 

“Boys by charli xcx are you fucking kidding me”

“20 seconds in and i already need fucking help this is so funny”

“This club scene im screaming” ~internally~

“This looks like a blast honestly god I miss clubs”

“Her bangs are so cute” - me abt cassie

“This lighting is so fucking sexy”

“Oh my god YES drunk car rides are the fucking worst”

“Wait is she just acting lol”

“Omg he’s gonna roofie her”

“The way she’s not kissing back has me crying” - was actually cry laughing a lil bit 

TW: bedroom scene ewie

“WAIT QUEEN I LOVE HER”

“Omg she’s so hot”

“It’s raining men omg lmao”

“I’m crying at this movie I hate them” - term of endearment

“I want to marry Bo’s character” - sorta 

“Not him being a foot taller than her”

“Laverne Cox is adorable and needs to wear a gold septum always”

“Luv cassie so much and the Make Me Coffee Shop” - very interesting name for a coffee shop

“That waist yes gawd” - showing her braid

“YAY IT’S BO - oh my god I love that shirt”

“Oh my god they even know each other that’s so cute”

“Interesting choice of name for Bo’s character”

“That flirting style…. I love it. Sorta enemies to loving yep” so endearing 

“NOT HIM DRINKING THE COFFEE WITH SPIT IN IT LMAOOOOO FUCK”

“She’s a fucking clown I love her”

“I love this actor” - about the coke scene

“Oh my god jesus fuck he is so cringe”

“Not shoving drugs in her mouth jesus”

“LMAO HIS NAME IS NEIL THIS IS SOOO STUPID NOT THE KISS….NEIL IS AWFUL”

“She’s so intimidating I love it”

“Oh my god this is ME”

“Cassie is so hot”

“Stealin hearts n never saying sorry”

“Ohhh this thunder is very cool”

“The guitar fuck no”

“Not her forgetting her 30th birthday omg”

“Jesus her Mom is annoying”

“Ryan is so hot omg”

“Whew he looks so good”

“Im laughing so hard Bo Burnham is such a talented actor”

“I love this actress ((Carey)) so much”

“Would have been a great doctor she just didnt want it bad enough ,, very relatable”

“Not him saying she looks like his daughter omg but like she can wear some badass heels and not be taller than him thats kinda hot though”

“Oh my god not sex on the counter JESUS SHE IS BOLD”

“She called him lover boy lmao”

“I hate it I hate it I hate that people dont understand people can be triggered by school I hate that kids even have to go through that”

“Omg the social media stalking that’s so funny”

“Ew yeah… I hate seeing awful people happy”

I

“This seems shady”

“Omg yes bitches get drunk”

“Lmao thats right feel BAD”

“Not her saying they want a good girl shut up stop being pretentious”

“People dont just forget that those things happen and it’s so shitty she’s just passing it off OMG GGGGG I HATE it”

II

“Yep she social media stalks everyone and it sucks seeing so many awful people being happy and not being served proper justice”

“Knew it knew what Alexander had done - they allude to it very well”

“Yep drunk at a party”

“The dean didnt take it seriously at all and passed it off as just some little mistake because she was drunk. People dont just shut up. Yes fuck his life up he deserves jail time - that’s so shitty oh my god”

“There can be a different fucking system we can protect people”

“This is a female Deadpool I fucks with it”

“Oh my god Cassie is CRAZY also is the receptionist in on it LMAO”

“Why do they not have a case file? Did they not file a report with the police? What the entire loving fuck why does no one remember anything about this?”

“This is beautifully filmed”

“Awe Ryan is being v sweet”

“Oh my god shes playing her game again WHHHY”

“Ryan is so protective omg that’s lowkey hot though”

“She’s so hot”

“I love this scene”

III

“Omg not his day of reckoning jesus”

“People have been trying to get him arrested for years jesus”

“Oh my god cops are so fucking corrupt this is so gross”

“I love how genuine he is I cant imagine cops that have had to go through that”

“Lmao I can relate to Nina so much I did so much shit to stand up for people I’m a professional hype man tbqh”

“Jesus I wouldnt just fucking move on either”

“Awe omg Ryan is there for her I love him”

“Oh my god they are so adorable my heart breaks for her so much”

“I wanna dance with Bo wtf”

“THE KISS AHHHH WTF”

“Come and fuck my life up PLEASE”

“Oh my god why am I crying lol”

“This family is wild lmao”

“He’s so freaking sweet”

“Love how Cassie isnt actually crazy people just truly are awful”

“Oh my god them flirting they are so freaking adorable I cant do this”

“THERE IS EVIDENCE WHY IS EVERYONE BEING THIS WAY”

“It sucks so fucking much”

“God everyone was so drunk though you cant watch though you need to help”

“I truly think people dont realize how serious it is Im glad this movie will help that”

IIII

“Um loving this orchestra version of Toxic”

“NOT MAX GREENFIELD LMAO”

“Her posing as a stripper so true”

“Hell no yes go girl bully these men”

It got very serious and uncomfortable so I skipped to the part where Max Greenfield’s character enters the room. 

“This reminds me of the Bo Dukes story”

“That’s really how it was - it’s so funny to watch these investigations how awful they are”

“You can just tell he’s lying just tell the truth plEATHE”

“God he loved her so much this hurts”

IIIII

“Max running away oh my god bitch where u going”

“I hope Ryan isnt turned in I dont think she would do that”

“YES ARREST HIS ASS”

“The necklaces Im cryin”

WHEW 100/10 I really loved that movie a lot !!!

ANYWAYS. I will write a more comprehensive review for the blog I wanna start or my podcast - but here it is!

[latestageyouth]

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 3 - The tales of spider Susan the matchmaker

trigger warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, spiders, arachnophobia, talk of deafness and becoming deaf, spider eating a live cricket (let me know if i need to add something)

word count: haha a what :)

summary: Logan is an arachnophobic mess that doesn't know how to respond to flirting, that is all.

author’s note: iiii am just gonna upload this all at once :/

"The only Dennys in the town and you make us run away without paying!"

"C’mon Ro, it's not like you have to make such a big fuss about it," Remus grinned.

Roman put his hands onto his face and whined, "We won't be able to go there anymore. We are criminals."

"There are other restaurants then Dennys here, Roman," Damon pointed out.

"But Dennys is the best!"

Logan and Virgil rolled their eyes and continued their own conversation, "I saw you signing with your uncle, do you know sign language?" Virgil nodded, "Excellent, So do I. My mother lost her hearing when I was six years old, so I had plenty of time to learn."

'Why?', Virgil signed.

"She has Presbycusis. It usually occurs after the age of 50, but early haring loss runs in my mother's family. More than half of my relatives from my mother's side are deaf or have some form of hearing loss."

'Will you be deaf too?'

Logan looked up in thought, "It is highly plausible that I will have impaired hearing by 30, yes."

Their discussion was interrupted by Roman, "Hey, me and Remus think we'll go back to our house, you guys coming?" the other three shook their heads, "Alright, see ya tomorrow then!" and so, the twins departed from the group. The remaining three looked between each other.

"So...what now? School is supposed to be over by now, so do we just...go home?" Damon said with uncertainty. Virgil tapped Logan's shoulder and signed something Damon couldn't understand to him. Logan turned to face Damon.

"He's asking if we wanted to go to his house. Do you want to come?"

Damon raised his eyebrows, "Uh, yeah, sure."

They walked in the direction that Virgil led them, while still signing and Logan interpreting, "The house isn't too far from here, just a few minutes. Emile didn't see me all day, so he's probably worried anyways. By the way, what did you do to him? He's, like, super nervous when it comes to me hanging out with you."

"As I said, we got sent to Picani a few times. Also, you know how Remus is, and I am not exactly a teacher's pet if you haven't noticed, of course he will be hesitant when it comes to us," Damon didn't look hurt or offended, more like he was used to it. Virgil didn't like that look on him, but he didn't have time to address that, as his house came into view. As he walked to the front door others followed. He twisted the handle and opened the door.

Virgil knocked on the door in the same way Anna did in Frozen, which just told Emile Virgil was home when he couldn't talk. Soon, Emile peeked his head out of the kitchen, "Oh, Virgil, you're home early," he looked between Damon and Logan and beamed at them, "Virgil, you never bought anyone home before, why didn't you text me we will have company?"

Virgil rolled his eyes as he took his sneakers off and went to the kitchen. The others did the same, awkwardly shuffling their way into the kitchen.

"We're having spaghetti today, you two wanna join?" Emile beamed in their direction.

"Sure, Mr. Picani..." they said in unison.

Emile waved his hand dismissively and laughed, "Now, now, no need to be so formal. You can call me Emile. Also, Virgil, I forgot to feed Susan this morning, do you think you could feed her now? Thanks, sweetie."

Virgil nodded and gestured for Logan and Damon to follow him. They walked down the hallway and into Virgil's room. The first thing the two noticed was a terrarium with dirt, sticks and...what Logan assumed were spiderwebs. It also had a human skull with a big hole on the side, which hoped was fake.

They didn't see the supposed Susan who they assumed was the terrarium for. Virgil walked over to the terrarium and opened a drawer under it. He reached into it and pulled out a pair of tweezers and a plastic jar with the lid on. The jar was making a noise like something was tapping against it fast with multiple fingers. He unscrewed the jar and gestured for the other two to come closer. Virgil took the tweezers and reached into the jar. It took him a few seconds but he pulled out what looked like a live cricket, as it was still wiggling. Logan jumped back for a second when he saw it. Virgil opened the terrarium at the top and put his hand in, putting the cricket on the ground while still holding it. Slowly, the three saw a large tarantula crawl out from the leaves, walking towards the cricket. Virgil took the tweezers out and watched as the tarantula jumped at the cricked and started eating it. Then he put the tweezers and jar back into the drawer and closed it.

"What a beauty," Damon said, smiling.

"What...What species is that one?" Logan pointed at the black and yellow tarantula. Virgil fingerspelled something, going slowly over each letter for Logan to understand, but Logan was lost nonetheless, "I have absolutely no idea what you just said," Virgil huffed and spelled out something different and shorter this time, "...Chaco golden knee, don't, uh, don't think I heard of that one before..."

"Remus would be ecstatic to know you have a spider, I'll text him a picture," Damon took out his phone and turned off the flash. The typed on his phone before laughing a little, then showing the messages to the other two:

'OOMMMGGGG THTSSS SO FUCKING CUUUUTEE >:O IM LITERALLY SO JELLY OMFFFGGGG'

'AASDJHFJSDFKLDL'

'sHESSS So CUUUTTTEETTEeEeEEEEEE I LOVE HER LITARLYLYL CNA I MARRY HERR ADSSFJS'

"Told you he would like it," he typed something before putting the phone back into his pocket.

Virgil chuckled and crouched down next to the terrarium, watching Susan eat. Then, he furrowed his eyebrows. He turned to Logan, signing again. Damon really needed to learn it, this was getting annoying. He saw Logan furrow his eyebrows, "I don't see any."

Virgil gestured at the substrate which was full of white spots.

"Oh, that's mold?"

Damon crossed his arms and spoke up, "Can someone tell me what you two are talking about or am I supposed to deduce it myself?"

Logan turned his head in Damon's direction, "Virgil asked if we could help him...rehouse the...tarantula, a-as there is mold in the terrarium, which can be deadly to...uh, tarantulas if not dealt with."

Damon raised an eyebrow, "Is that so? That's terrible. I would be honored to help you rehouse Susan, and I'm sure Logan would be too, am I right?"

"Uh, yes, of-of course. Just...Susan isn't...particularly aggre...aggressive, is she?"

Virgil shook his head and began signing 'If she scares you, you don't have to.'

"I am not scared!" Logan shouted and pointed at Virgil. The other two flinched, "Uh, I apologize..." he adjusted his glasses.

Three knocks came from the other side of the door, "Everything alright in there?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry," Damon said.

"Okay, just play nice," Emile replied and walked away from the door. As soon as the three couldn't hear the footsteps anymore they sighed.

Damon rolled his eyes, "Yes, Logan, totally not scared."

Logan scoffed in return, "I think I changed my mind, I am going to Roman's house."

"And Remus'."

"Okay, you won, I'll stay. Let's just...get this over with."

Virgil and the rest walked over while he removed the top of the terrarium. He turned to Logan, 'Could you find a plastic container and poke some holes in it? thanks.' So Logan walked away from the terrarium, searching around the room, eventually finding one and poking the holes with a screwdriver. Virgil carefully picked Susan up and put her in the container, closing it with a lid. He brought an empty bucket and put it next to the terrarium. The two stared at him for a while, before he grabbed a handful of the substrate and put it in the bucket. After they started putting the dirt and things in the terrarium aside, Virgil went to get a new substrate, which was in the garage. As he passed the kitchen, Emile spoke up, "Virgil, honey, where are you going?"

'To the garage for substrate, we got mold.'

"Oh, holy moly, I didn't even notice that. Well, what are you waiting for? Susan's gonna be thrilled for a home renovation!"

Virgil huffed and walked to the garage. While that was happening, Logan was the only one in the room actually working.

He rolled his eyes at Damon, "Will you stop staring at the tarantula and come help me or should I do it all myself?"

Damon smirked at him, "I dunno, you've done a great job so far, wouldn't want to ruin it" he shut his eyes tight when Logan threw some of the substrates on him, "What the hell was that for?!"

"Do you want me to list off the reasons? I have a list."

Damon chuckled, "Not so professional now, are we, Mr. 'I wear a necktie as casual clothes.'"

"That was for one year! I was a freshman!" Logan pointed his dirty hand at Damon, who just smiled at him.

"It's still fucking hilarious..."

Logan scoffed, "Great, so now I am the weird kid."

"Don't be stupid, Remy is the weird kid. You're more like...the 'um, actually,' of the school," Logan gave him a puzzled look, so Damon explained further, "The know it all."

"Ah," Logan said, "Well, I suppose some people may see me like that. Though the trope is always portrayed as negative and annoying...Is that how people see me? Am I annoying?" his eyes drifted away, staring at nothing in particular, only looking at Damon when he spoke up.

"Nah you're not, if you were I wouldn't be hanging out with you. If you want to describe someone as annoying, try Patton, he's the definition of annoying."

Logan adjusted his glasses, dirtying them a bit, "You know that Patton was homeschooled up until high school, he has no social skills at all. He may be frustrating to deal with sometimes, yes, but it's not his fault. At least not all of it. "

Damon's eyes widened, "...No, I didn't. I just...thought he transferred schools," he said, "Why did you think the rumor about him having to transfer because of a fight got around so fast? People don't just assume you're homeschooled, they want juicy stuff."

"Oh, I apologize. I guess I assumed...huh, assumed, what hypocrisy."

Damon moved closer to the terrarium, taking off his fingerless gloves. He took the substrate into his hands and dumped into the bucket, which was half full now. Logan raised an eyebrow at that.

"I thought..."

"You thought wrong for once."

A subtle smile crept up on Logan's features, "And for once I am not mad about it."

They both looked up when the door opened, revealing Virgil who was holding another, this time red, bucket. He placed it next to the other one.

"And what's this?" Damon pointed at the full bucket. Much to his dismay, Virgil signed again. Damon sighed heavily.

"Oh, it's the uncontaminated substrate," Logan went silent as Virgil signed more, "...Yes, I think we'll leave that to you."

"Leave what to him?"

"Washing the terrarium."

"Oh, yeah, I think I'll pass on that one."

Virgil picked up the dirty, now empty, terrarium with one hand and gave them the two-finger salute with the other, heading to what the other two assumed was a bathroom. Once again, silence fell on the room, until Damon spoke up a few minutes later.

"So...how do you even know Patton if he was homeschooled? You don't seem like the social type."

"Oh, it was actually Roman who introduced me to him," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know how they met, but since both of them are...rather enthusiastic...It isn't hard to imagine them getting along."

"Oh..."

"Uhum....and how did you meet Remus? You two seem like the polar opposites, but of course, as they say, opposites attract, so..."

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Damon shook his head, "You got it all wrong, we're just close friends, I would never date a trashbag like him. We met while waiting in front of the principal's office somewhere at the beginning of high school."

"You would befriend him but never date him?"

Damon huffed, "Would you date Roman?"

Logan nodded, "...Fair point, not exactly my type."

"What is your type then?" the taller laughed.

Logan's cheek turned crimson red in an instant, opening and closing his mouth as if trying to find the right words, "Uh, well- I mean...That...that, uh, de-depends on...You see, I-uh, you...uh...."

At that, Damon just laughed, while Logan turned even redder.

"Y-you don't have to...laugh at...me..."

"Oh, no, I am not laughing at you. Well, technically I am, but...just gimmie a second to breathe" after Damon calmed down, he took a deep breath and continued, "I am not laughing at you because you're embarrassing, I am laughing at you because you're cute."

Logan hid his face in his hands as the blush began to creep down his neck, "F-falsehood..." this time, Damon didn't laugh, instead settling on a smug smirk.

"Of course, you're just so composed, professional, aloof, serious, should I go on?" Damon tilted his head. Logan mumbled something that he couldn't hear, so he raised his eyebrows and put a hand to his ear, "Come again specs?"

Logan still mumbled, but this time Damon actually heard him, though he had to strain his hearing, "...On a date, maybe..."

Now it was Damon's turn to blush, "I, ah, I mean...do you, uh, do you, like, want to..." he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and looked away from Logan.

Logan removed his hands from his face in favor of waving them defensively in front of himself, "No, no, it's-it's fine, I just...I am sorry, let's j-just...pretend I totally nev-never said that!"

"It's fine! I, uh...I never t-thought that...you would...you know....like...me?" Damon scrunched up his shoulders.

"I deeply apologize, I never intended to...uh...to let that leave my thoughts! I-I just..."

"Hey, hey, it's okay, I am not mad. Far from that actually, it's fine," Demon said reassuringly, hesitantly putting his hand on Logan's shoulder. It seemed to calm Logan down.

"Just...please d-don't...say anything...at...school. Please..." Logan rubbed his arm, "I...I don't want to seem like a...creep of some sort..."

Damon moved his hand away, "What's that supposed to mean?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"I just, uh-"

The door opened before Logan could finish the sentence. Neither of them knew if it was for the better or for the worse, but there was nothing they could do about it now. In the door was Virgil, hands empty, gesturing at something behind him, before leaving the doorway empty. The pair looked at each other shortly and then followed him. Virgil led them to the kitchen, which was also the dining room it seemed.

"I assumed that you two must be starving by now, so I grabbed you a serving too, unless..."

"No, no, Mr. Picani, we love it!" interrupted Damon.

"It looks great, thank you!" followed Logan.

Virgil and Emile exchanged weirded out looks, before settling on their default expressions, which, for Emile, was a smile, "I am glad! Now hurry up and eat!"

And so, the awkward dinner began. Picani was talking about something with Virgil, who was either nodding or shaking his head. He sometimes included Logan or Damon in the conversation, but the two responded with short and quick answers, clearly not wanting to talk. They also haven't looked at each other the entire time, but they weren't sure the other two noticed that. By the time they stopped talking, food was eaten and plates were in the sink.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay the night?" Picani asked for one last time.

Damon nodded, adding a quick, "Yeah," before disappearing into the night.

"I am afraid my parents would not allow that even if I planned it beforehand. Although I had a wonderful time. See you tomorrow at school," Emile and Virgil didn't know who the last comment was for, but nodded regardless of the fact. They watched as Logan walked out of the door and into the street, eventually disappearing too.

Emile closed the door, "Whew, what bunch'o charming fellas! Didn't think you would make friends that quickly, but I'm glad!" Virgil shrugged his shoulders and gave a small smile. Emile's smile softened and he put a hand on Vigil's shoulder, "I know it's hard, but you're doing so well. I am proud of you, Virgil, I really am," he didn't really expect Virgil to hug him, but hey, who is he to complain?

[komowah-blog]

Boys’ Night | Borusara, Mitsucho Fic~

Did this right away reading my other one. Kay, so this one realllyyyy is interesting.Kinda long, and my hands are actually tired? Idk why. It’s prolly because i got distracted too and started to draw meanwhile. Please note: My ask and follow me and allllll that gUcCi stuff :) This part focused more on the guys night, last time it was focusing on the girls night. Next part will focus on Sarada, and after that IDK. I hope you guys liked it! 

This is part II of Nights Out.

Part I, III, IIII.

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Rating: T+

Word count: 2,815

Character count: 15,769

“Leave me alone, Boruto” her eyes showed aggression. Even though she was sad earlier, the thought of the girls seeing them right now.

“Not until you say what happened” his blue eyes shining, showing the color of the ocean mixed with the sky. Sarada didn’t dare to look at them. She just stayed looking infront. 

“Are you going to look at me, damn it? Show me that face of yours... I hate it when you don’t look at me” his empty hand gripped. 

“Leave.”

“Me.”

“Alone.”

Boruto felt slightly offended. “Rude much? I honestly thought future Hokages are supposed to be more kind”, he later then sighed.

Sarada wanted to put him under a genjutsu, low-key. For she can erase everything she said to him. All she wanted to do is disappear.

She slowly turned back, and in a flash she turned her back facing Boruto with her Sharingan on. Boruto got caught in it. But right after, ChouChou appeared and she knocked out Sarada, releasing boruto. He still was grabbed on to her hand. ChouChou used her skinny mode, it makes her appear in a flash. Sarada’s genjutsu uses a bunch of chakra anyways. Sarada collapsed, her glasses fell to the ground. Boruto catched her, luckily. In his arms, he stared into her closed eyes, her hair dark as midnight and that onyx-black jet hair. he knew he was under a genjutsu. he felt bad, because the girl he trusts would even think about trying that. If he was in his guard-battle stage mode, he would’ve countered it. 

“Sarada..” he whispered. he brushed her hair aside, and picked up her glasses while carrying her. He knew her parents weren’t home, Sakura was on a mission traveling for her medical things, and Sasuke was out being the Hokage of the shadows.

“So, how’d this happen? All we did was chase after her, because we felt bad. Then, Sumire sensed her chakra.” ChouChou had that,’I know you did something face’ on. 

“You tell me. All I did was grab her hand. She then was in hella mood, I knew she was upset though.” 

“Oh.. yeah. Don’t do that next time...” ChouChou and the rest were scratching their heads, totally not lying or anything...y’know? “Okaygottago,cyayoutakegoodcareofherboruto!” Namida and the rest went in a flash.

“Huh?..”

Boruto later shrugged it off. He put her as if she was riding a piggyback off of him. The blonde kept on thinking, why would she do something like that? ChouChou wouldn’t even want to explain. Not even class rep, Sumire Kakei. Shikadai passed by, and followed them. Boruto was heading to his house. Shikadai knew something was up. Once he reached the door, Shikadai stepped infront of them. “Woah there, I think you need her consent first?” Shikadai said, with a kunai on Boruto’s neck. See, Shikadai loved Sarada as a sister, because he didn’t have any siblings. Him and Sarada would be really close, even if Boruto and him are close too, he wouldn’t dare someone lay a hand on her. Boruto was his type of brother too, but Sarada’s more scarier so if he would Boruto’s their brother also, it would just be weird. because see, Shikadai and Sarada don’t have any siblings. Boruto has Himawari, he’s okay. But sometimes, there’s just darkness y’know? Boruto took a step back and grinned. “This isn’t what you think it is, ‘ttebasa...” “We’re just going to continue the Uchiha clan.” Boruto was dying inside of laughter. Shikadai’s eyes widened. “What the fu-”, Boruto interrupted him and said,”Just kidding, jeesh. She put genjutsu on me and got all angst. She was upset, I guess. Her parents aren’t home, and I wouldn’t even dare.” Shikadai sighed and grinned,”You do know everyone likes her in this village except for us two, maybe Mitsuki, and probably Inojin?” “Usually when she tried things like this, it’s because she’s furious. Did ChouChou say something?” The blonde shrugged,”I don’t know. She ran off.” “That Chubbs.” Boruto opened the door and went upstairs with Sarada. Shikadai ran off, and closed the door when he left. “Guess it’s just you and me..” 

“You and me..” that felt weird to say for Boruto. He usually had Mitsuki by his side with Sarada or when he was alone. But Mitsuki was off to the library, studying about medical stuff. After all, his master is Sakura. When she comes back, she will teach him her ways on how to provide for his team. 

He laid Sarada on his bed, and put the blankets on top of her. He felt her head to see if she had a fever, but at that time...she woke up to see Boruto touching her face and in his bed. She closed her eyes immediately for she doesn’t see her. She was boiling, and Boruto felt it all, thinking she had a bad fever. 

Sarada then fainted, she never was this close to someone, except for her mother and father. Her mother only felt her head when she was sick. “Woah, that’s hot..” Boruto blinked twice once he said that. Oh god.. I didnt mean that in a cute-hot way.. Am I talking to myself? The blonde sighed, he closed his luxurious blue eyes. 

His phone was buzzing with a tone,

Team 7 forever!

Mitsuki, Sarada, and his voice were saying that. It had background music and kept on looping until he answered. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Boruto. Let’s have a manly guys night out? Just me, you, Shikadai, Mitsuki, Denki, Iwabe, and Metal. We’ve all have comfirmed that we’re going.” 

It was Inojin on the phone, the other blonde. Sarada would compare their eyes. And always fidget with their hair. Blonde was one of her favorite hair colors. 

Boruto looked at Sarada, and looked at his phone. It wouldn’t hurt to leave her resting here, right?

“Uh...Sure, I guess.” He hesitated to say those words, but he can’t stay here and let his other friends down. He knew Sarada could take care of herself, but he’d promise that he’d come back before she wakes up.

“Kay. We’ll see you there, hehehe!” 

Inojin hung up. Boruto was left on staring at his phone. he stared at Sarada for a while. He laid down next to her, hugging her. After 5 minutes, he knew he needed to start changing. So he stood up, and put a shirt over her face just in case she woke up to him shirtless getting the wrong idea. He changed into his long-sleeved jacket. He then took off the shirt on Sarada’s face and placed it on his desk. He pat her head and closed the door. He got outside of his house and started walking to Kaminari Burger. The sun in-front of him, with a slight breeze gave him the chills. Mitsuki encountered him and walked next to him.

“Hey Boruto. How’s it going?” Mitsuki smiled, unaware of Boruto’s situation.

“It’s... uh a whatever day..’ttebasa.” The blonde scratched his head and smiled.

Mitsuki’s face expression changed. He had that “was it Sarada again” face.

“Tell me with the boys..” Mitsuki said.

“Uh...” 

Boruto screwed up on this one. After their little walk, they finally made it to Kaminari Burger. Mitsuki encountered ChouChou sitting alone, Shikadai and Inojin haven’t came yet.. Iwabe and Denki were ordering just now.. So Mitsuki gave an expression to Boruto symbolizing that he’d talk to her.

“Oh, ChouChou.” That’s all Boruto heard and Mitsuki drifted away. he sat next to her. Boruto came closer sitting in the booth behind them. “Mitsuki! How are you?” ChouChou said with some happiness. “Nevermind about me, why are you all alone? Is Sarada~san not here to gossip?” Boruto gripped his fist. “Oh..Sarada...haha..She’s with her family!” “...On a mission!” ChouChou added. Boruto wanted to ask her what happened, but he knew she’d avoid it. And ChouChou didn’t even realize that her family was out of town? Of what’s going on? The blonde had too many questions. He stood up, her eyes widening to see Boruto about to approuch her, so she stole a kiss from Mitsuki. Mitsuki, unaware of what’s going on. Was grinning in the kiss. Boruto’s mouth opened wide. Mitsuki!!! he never told Boruto that he’d like ChouChou!!!! Oh, Mitsuki is gonna get it for not spilling the tea for not telling him. Boruto sat down quickly behind their booth. 

“Hmm?” Mitsuki eyed ChouChou.

“What was that for?” Mitsuki grinned then stared at ChouChou.

ChouChou was tinted a bit red.

“..”

“Uh...”

“Because! Because I like you and you obviously like me!~” ChouChou pointed at Mitsuki.

“Hmm.. I never remembered that, but okay.... Girlfriend.” Mitsuki threw a wink at ChouChou and she blushed. He stretched his arms out to pull ChouChou to his side. ChouChou got flustered and blushed.

“Disgusting..” Boruto whispered to himself.

Shikadai and Inojin finally appear, looking at Boruto at the door. Iwabe and Denki finally finish, and ChouChou leaves. Shikadai was eyeing ChouChou when she left, passing by him, but she didn’t notice. 

“Boruto!” Denki shouted out, he didn’t even notice he was there. Mitsuki stood up too, heading his way to the booth behind him with the blonde.

“So, Boruto. You were saying?” Mitsuki furrowed his eyebrows at him while about to take a seat.

“Oh! Uh, it’s because I got sick. And Sarada was on a mission. The hospital is packed, too.” 

Mitsuki eyed him,”You do know I’m a pupil of Sarada’s mom. The HEAD of the Konoha Hospital.”

Boruto later added,”Oh, but I got better. Don’t worry.”

“Uh huh...”

Shikadai knew what was going on between Boruto. he interrupted and spoke in between of them.  “I..I knew what was going on.”

Boruto’s eyes widened, and Iwabe and Denki just sat in another table to avoid drama.

“He was sick, if it weren’t for my mom he would’ve been in bed right now. My mom made some cookies and medicine for him.”

“I suppose, Shikadai never usually lies. Okay, I believe you.” Mitsuki gave a thoughtful smile to both of them.

Iwabe and Denki came back again, in the silence all you can hear was the voices of others in Kaminari Burger.

Denki broke the silence and added,”So..you guys wanna go to the arcade?”

Shikadai and Inojin nodded and Boruto agreed then later commented,”Do we look like we’re all smart?”

Iwabe said, looking in the corner of his eye,”No..” “Shut it Iwabe!” Boruto countered and pointing to the Earth-style user. Iwabe was boiling.

“What was that? Remember who’s more older than you!” Iwabe declared and gripped his fist, facing it to the blonde.

“Oh, sorry Granny!” Boruto grinned and ran out.

Iwabe later chased after him, the door got slammed on his way out. The rest sighed, and followed them out. Shikadai left the money for Iwabe and Denki’s order.

“What a drag...”

Boruto and Iwabe suddenly forgot about it and walked with him, and the rest also together with them. They finally made it to the arcade. 

“Well, we’re here~” Mitsuki said with a smile facing to everyone.

It was dark already, the arcade’s decorated lights were flashing, like a retro Christmas day. The lights were all reflected by their faces, Denki was about to shed a tear.  “Well? Go wild” Inojin laughed after that, all the boys ran in like a stampede. Shikadai was the only one walking in with Inojin. “This will hurt someones credit card...” Shikadai threw a wink in there for Inojin. “What? I’m not using mine. I’m using my dad’s! He helps the Hokage with investigations, after all he was in his team once. Mom will talk all about this to Sarada’s mom again that I busted her card. I’m not going through Sarada making fun of me” Inojin had a scared expression on his face. He remmebers what she did to him. She’d use the excuse of ‘you use your mom’s credit card alot, right? Might as well buy me tea with dango to not let it to waste.’ Scary... They both entered, and took a seat for a booth. They ordered pizza, cola, and cake. Boruto and the others digged in. “Thank you for the food!” Boruto smiled, with his food stuffed.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” 

That popped up in his head. It sounded like Sarada. That cold-hearted girl.  His eyes widened and looked around. No one else noticed it. But what they did notice was Boruto acting all crazy.

...

He forgot to visit her.

He swallowed all of the junk food he has in his mouth in one gulp to say that he has to go.Everyone questioned why he was in a rush, but they nodded. “Good luck!” Shikadai screamed out the door with a grin. Boruto gave a thumbs up behind him unaware to make out the words that Shikadai shouted across the room.

Once he ran across Konoha, he made it through in about 2 minutes. He went and opened the door in a flash. He rushed upstairs, and opened his door. He expected Sarada to be asleep still... but who knows.

He opened the door, hearing the sounds and creaking.

“Sarada?..” 

He found her sitting down, with a photo frame of him. 

“Why am I here?” 

Boruto’s eyes widened, he activated his Jougan to see if something was up. he didn’t see anything unusual. 

“Who..Who are you?” Sarada pointed at him in a curious-lovey dovey manner. 

“Huh? What do you mean who am I? I was your damn friend since we knew how to walk ‘ttebasa!” Boruto was getting stressed... He didn’t want her to have a memory loss out of all this sudden. Sarada blushed, she didn’t have her glasses but surprisingly she could see? Is she high? Is it her fever? Boruto was stressed and kept on walking back and fourth he stopped and stood by his desktop. Wondering what happened to her. 

“Boruto.. right? That’s your name..” Sarada was blushing and looking away. She was avoiding eye contact? 

He nodded awkwardly, his eyes having them wide opened, a drop of sweat fell. The blonde was worried, unaware of anything.

“Boruto~ Such.. a cute name~ Those eyes of yours are something, something hot, too. Especially your whiskers~” she finally looked at him at the eye. She walked closer and closer every compliment. Boruto was sweating, and worried. Shikadai would actually murder him. She leaned in close enough Boruto was pinned by his desk with the computer and her. She fidgeted with his blonde hair and whiskers.

“Sarada. You’re on drugs..” Boruto hesitated on saying that because he didn’t want to believe it. 

“Nooo!~ I just woke up in here. How’d I get drugs from, you mochi sweetener!~ Even if I were on drugs, I wouldn’t want to mess up my vision, all I’d see is rainbows. I just want to see you! Especially your eyes, so cute...” Sarada said, she got her hand and placed it on his cheek. He blushed, looking away. His hair was covering his eyes, he looked like a blank flustered face. He knew she was right, where would she get drugs from?

“C’mon, Boruto.. Let’s just kiss, right? We all know that’s what you want...” Sarada winked and got closer to him slowly. Boruto kept on going as back as he could, but he hit himself on his desktop. “Trying to run away...? I feel sad.. But that makes you even more irresistable!~” She got even more closer where her torso would be touching his. She touched noses with him at first, and then got even more closer to touch their lips. For Boruto...Sarada tasted like a dream. All he would ever want in his first kiss. For Sarada, Boruto tasted like soda.. Sarada loved soda when she was in the mood. And, too bad for Boruto she was. She kept on hugging him, into her warm and soft arms. Tighter and tighter every single second. Her soft lips also had a taste of cherry of her chapstick. Boruto had soft lips, they were sweet. Sarada stopped hugging him and put her arms around his neck, making them to lock and Boruto couldn’t move, if he were..Sarada would just move in closer. Sarada put some tongue in his mouth. Boruto choked for a bit because he was unprepared for that.. But Sarada just slid it off, not caring. Boruto had no choice but to return the favor, because he actually loved Sarada. He wouldn’t want to break her heart, he would always touch her in lover ways. And make her blush furiously, it was cute to him. She pulled away, after 5 minutes. “See? I knew you’d like it.” Sarada winked at him, and touched his nose. Boruto blushed. “You’d forget this anyway..” Boruto said, and later looked away. “Don’t say that! I’m Sarada. Sarada remembers everything, right?” she said. Boruto’s eyes widened. After, the girl from the Uchiha collapses, Boruto’s eyes twitched and catched her. She’s asleep, again...

[kaspbra-cant-even]

High school au The spice Girls are the rage and bev gets really into it and dragging the gang to a concert of them

•Beverly and the Spice Girls•

Highschool AUShips: noneCharacters: the losersWarnings: none

It was the 90s, a wild and colourful time of butterfly hair clips, walkmans, frosted tips, a complete fashion disaster frankly, but Beverly Marsh loved it and she didn’t only like the trends but also the music, especially the Spice Girls.

And she wasn’t the only one in Derry’s Highschool to be part of that fanclub.It had been one of the earlier days of her new found passion for the pop band when she was walking down the street and saw a bright poster catching her attention. It was an advertisement for a concert. No, not any concert, a Spice Girls concert. Beverly couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t even thinking about not going, but she didn’t want to go all by herself.She didn’t have too many options but she wasn’t really sure if the others would go with her to the concert. Beverly tried to imagine Eddie singing along to “Wannabe” pouring his heart and soul into the lyrics. She giggled and continued to walk alongside the Kenduskeag, imagining how the concert would be.

The next day at school Beverly was so hyped, she didn’t even realise she was humming her favourite songs nonstop.She was standing beside Bill and Stan, when Stan finally couldn’t take it anymore“Bev, I know you like that band, but for the love of god I can’t hear it anymore!” Beverly didn’t even have the time to answer when Richie appeared behind her and threw his arm around Stan’s shoulder“Hey watcha nerds talking about?”Beverly gave Stan a sickeningly sweet smile“Well our friend Stanley here clearly doesn’t know how to appreciate good music.”“Bev, it’s not that I can’t appreciate it but every time I’m in a remotely silent room I can hear that song in my head and it’s driving me crazy!”“What song?” Richie mimicked genuine interest but he already knew what Stan was talking about.“I mean that – “ Stan didn’t even get to finish his sentence when Richie already began, at first, to whisper in his ear, and than singing the lyrics at full volume, making half the school turn their heads in their direction.

“If you wanna be my lover, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS”Beverly chimed in, having a huge smile plastered across her face“GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDSMAKE IT LAST FOREVER, FRIENDSHIP NEVER EEEENDS”What had started out as a duet soon grew into a choir kind of thing, more and more kids on the hallway started to sing along.“If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give(You’ve got to give)Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it iiiis!!”

Stan turned to Bill, a tortured look on his face “Help me” but Bill was laughing so hard he could barely breath.After a few minutes the whole thing was over. That was when Eddie and Ben finally joined the group.“You guys, have you seen that? Who the fuck started that?” Eddie was looking at Richie, already sure of what the answer would be.“I did, sweet-cheeks” Richie exclaimed, visibly proud of how things had developed.That was when Beverly finally popped the question she had been waiting to ask all day.“Guys, there will be a Spice Girls concert and it would be so awesome if you all came too!”Without a second thought Ben nodded “Of course we will!” which led Bill to enthusiastically agree with him “Y-yes s-s-sure we will!”Stan wasn’t going to give up that easily. “I don’t know…”Richie elbowed him “Come on Stan, even Eddie is going!”“Oh I am?!”“Yeah sorry Eds but there’s no way you’re missing a Spice Girls concert on MY watch.”“Pleaaase Stan? It will be fun we’re all going, I bet Mike will come too!” Beverly tucked at his shirt. He rolled his eyes “Yes ok fine but you guys owe me one.”“Yes!!” Beverly made a little dance of victory. “This is amazing, we’re gonna have so much fun.”

And they did. Beverly had the time of her life dancing and singing to her favourite songs and Ben tried to get an autograph for her but sadly failed. It didn’t matter, they had had a great day anyway.Stan surprised them all when he suddenly started to sing along in the middle of a song like his life depended on it. Eddie enjoying himself although he didn’t know the lyrics and Richie winked at him while singing “If you wanna get with me, better make it fast”.Beverly knew it was one of those moments in her life she would probably never forget.

[caepaecaesurae]

> Cae + RL : Talk about Anons

(( First the “tell the truth” anon and RL’s problems with Nadaya, and then a delightful mid-sentence segue into kidnapping alt!Sugary ))

Yesterday

caepaecaesurae Is your anon ovwer yet? carnivalsorphans finally :o( caepaecaesurae For wvhat it's wvorth, I gavwe him permission to inform you himself, because I think it wvill get the last vwestiges of upset out of his system, but he's agreed not to do anything. And you are publicly, openly forgivwen. Don't let anyone harsh you about this one anymore. carnivalsorphans thanks. that's an awkward thing to need for my mental health

caepaecaesurae Sorry I didn't out this one before nowv, to try and clear it up. caepaecaesurae It seemed safer to leavwe it buried. carnivalsorphans yeah :o( i assumed you were keepin it for blackmail, not gonna lie to keep me in line, just in case caepaecaesurae .. Not unless you started tormenting people, honestly. carnivalsorphans which, ya know, fair i've tormented very few people. none you care about! caepaecaesurae I'm not as absentminded as sugary, but I'm absentminded enough that I used to keep journals so I wvouldn't miss things. carnivalsorphans hahaha i'm pretty absentminded when my paranoia gives me peace caepaecaesurae Perhaps that's the only difference betwveen us. I'm a fewv steps closer to peace. carnivalsorphans there's probably plenty of other differences. caepaecaesurae Hair color carnivalsorphans hahahahaha yeah. everyone knows i regularly think about even my own moirail's torture now so like...... caepaecaesurae WVell... As long as it stays in the imagination. carnivalsorphans .... i dunno. it ain't just you. in case you were ever wondering. caepaecaesurae That does sooth a bit. I'vwe... met trolls wvhere it WVas just me. carnivalsorphans you're like. higher on the list than some people. but you're higher on the 'keep safe' list than most people too so it all balances out. caepaecaesurae I wvish you the best of luck on the reputation war And in fighting the inner demons that you seem to have mostly in check. carnivalsorphans i don't really care about my rep if i don't die, at this point. no higher authority to report my terrible nature to. no overarching consequence that will ruin everything centuries of work has tried to bring about. we won. so i just worry bout the one thing. caepaecaesurae Life is easier wvith a better reputation, but you'vwe a point. I still wvish you luck. carnivalsorphans he seems less mad. caepaecaesurae I let him read it.  The prodding really is vwery subtle on a re-read, wvithout the emotions of the moment avwailable to peruse. carnivalsorphans yeah cuz i'm good at stuff if i was better at faking i probably coulda gotten away with it. luckily for us all, psii is so stupid i never had to get that much better. caepaecaesurae WVe all must havwe our skills. carnivalsorphans anyway, new sugary. wanna collab on figuring out if she's evil or not caepaecaesurae You possibly could havwe.  If you'd succeeded, I wvould havwe wvithdrawvn from your rebellion efforts and likely not been on healing duty that night. But yes, I'd lovwe to collaborate on that. I'm puzzled, she's too put together. carnivalsorphans i asked her for a question off. she said it sounded perfectly fair. which...... doesn't sound like her somehow. carnivalsorphans it either sounds like she's actually worried about stuff bein fair or is halfway decent at seemin good when she ain't. and i'm not sure which... carnivalsorphans > Ringleader, too, is not good at pronouns. carnivalsorphans ... yeah i'm gonna go with the latter. i asked her about her quads. and she shot back with what quads i have filled and who they are. i dunno why, but that just seems like her lookin for someone to target caepaecaesurae Same, don't like howv she puts things. Sugary entrusted me wvith a wvay to entrap her direct alternates if they should provwe problematic, and I'm debating using it. carnivalsorphans i know about that, she told me to hunt you down if you ever misused it. this seems like a fair use though, if it ends up bein necessary. caepaecaesurae Pff.  Nice to knowv she has a solid set of countermeasures. carnivalsorphans ... she calculates. that's what it is. caepaecaesurae Aye, it is. carnivalsorphans she said she's assessing everything. caepaecaesurae And she cares only for the vwalue of things in material terms to her. carnivalsorphans yeah. which... not that far off from what sugary used to do, but for her it was decadence. for this one it's... tools. caepaecaesurae If I do attempt to enrap her, it's likely to be under the guise of an invwitation to dinner. Or a newv dwvelling or something else easily fabricated. carnivalsorphans if you need a place that ain't prosperity... hahahaha holy shit we got another cell around here. caepaecaesurae I'm afraid the entrapment area is already constructed, in a third party univwerse.  Arlequin and I bought Chickens there once. carnivalsorphans aww! that's cute caepaecaesurae Is there? carnivalsorphans yeah. next to enforcer's. caepaecaesurae I wvould be somewvhat concerned if the cell wvas rated to contain her It wvould imply someone other than herself and I knewv the wvay to do that. carnivalsorphans ... she didn't tell me bout specifics of her containment needs, just that you knew em. caepaecaesurae Aye, she's being careful. Can you ask the cell maker if they are rated for her? carnivalsorphans yeah. yeah i'll ask tarrat. carnivalsorphans oh shit looks like she's not much for dinner caepaecaesurae I may havwe to try less subtle methods of luring or abduction, it wvill be fine. carnivalsorphans how does 'i would love to please sugary when she gets back please turn me into a trickster' sound as a method of luring carnivalsorphans from me, of course caepaecaesurae I'm considering teleporting to her, grabbing her, and teleporting her to the other place, I'm just not sure if I'm faster on the drawv than she is. I can teleport out, she can't. carnivalsorphans mmmm you should be careful as shit. caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsorphans i'm still wantin to do a 'lure' sorta thing, i don't mind bein bait. caepaecaesurae I'll need to disguise the place wve lure her into.  She wvon't be able to tell it's a trap until it closes. Literally closes. carnivalsorphans 's important. caepaecaesurae I can disguise my cell as any kind of room or hivwe you like. carnivalsorphans still workin on establishin trust enough. i'm not sure how viable it is, if you can figure somethin safer i'm totally fuckin good with it caepaecaesurae Tell me howv to disguise it, I'll need time. carnivalsorphans uhhhhhhhhhh fuck. probably a sitting room is as good as anythin, until i know more real colorful, somethin between church and trickster. carnivalsorphans oh! tarrat says the cell's sugar proof carnivalsorphans and also around enforcer so neither of them'd have to be bored. win win hahahahaha. caepaecaesurae Time players... carnivalsorphans ;o) ;o) ;o) caepaecaesurae Fair enough.  I could disguise that cell into a sitting room, put a transport pad in it, and take it out wvith me. caepaecaesurae I'll.. coordinate wvith him about that. carnivalsorphans or, vel/tarrat can put a transport pad in and destroy it on the way out. .... honestly. ...... should probably ask wicked if more people is rude to him caepaecaesurae I suspect time is not long, before she starts being antisocial. WVe should consider haste. carnivalsorphans i'm askin bout the staff caepaecaesurae To be entirely honest, I'm not sure I can conceivwe of myself as a trickster, wvhich might make me immune. carnivalsorphans hahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae I'm not terribly wvorried about it.  I havwe quadrants to sit on me if anything goes awvry. carnivalsorphans good. ... i'm. a little more worried about it. i promised sugary i wouldn't do what valor did, and this is skirtin that line pretty damn close caepaecaesurae WVhat did he do? carnivalsorphans oh gods, did you not catch that? caepaecaesurae Oh, wvait.  Tossing yourself into the line of fire? carnivalsorphans yeah! that shit. caepaecaesurae No, I caught the edge, it's just been a bit. carnivalsorphans the shit that probably prompted her to give you a safety measure caepaecaesurae Aye, it wvas around then. caepaecaesurae All the more reason to get this done soon, before he hears about it. And havwe her somewvhere he can vwisit and pawv at the glass. carnivalsorphans gods i fuckin know right caepaecaesurae ...Gods, Enforcer and Valor do not need to meet. carnivalsorphans hahahahahahahahah are you sure another highblood who's also a vantas might be good for him ;o) caepaecaesurae I havwe a headache already. carnivalsorphans good thing you don't gotta deal with it too much.... caepaecaesurae I'll try to keep complaining to a minimum.  Anywvays, I'm wvith Tarrat and wve're wvorking on things. caepaecaesurae He's telling me howv to set up the block, you focus on your part. carnivalsorphans ... you agree that she's best contained, considerin the potential she's got? caepaecaesurae I havwe a bad feeling, and I trust my gut. She *could* be fine -- but her immediate response to a request to behavwe, wvith bribery, wvas "Mmmm no" carnivalsorphans i'm just about to the point of bein ready. caepaecaesurae If wve contain her successfully, it harms little except her vwacation. carnivalsorphans iiii might wind up trickster, please fix it if i do. .... we got an escape method planned to be quick and easy for me caepaecaesurae If that happens, I'll showv up to take you to the Other cell, wvhere I wvill fix you. carnivalsorphans hot. caepaecaesurae There's going to be a transport pad in the room.  It wvill disable the moment she is alone in that room.  It doesn't need coordinates typed in. carnivalsorphans oh hot you're a damn gem carnivalsorphans trap set, time to be bait send me coords for the cell caepaecaesurae > coords Thank you for your part in this vwenture, chief. carnivalsorphans you bet! sugary can hit me for this later caepaecaesurae To be honest I think she'll kiss you. carnivalsorphans gay caepaecaesurae Hey, just a guess carnivalsorphans we'll see. i sent her the coords, i'm all settled and ready to be a loving matesprit for long enough for her to chill in case she's suspicious nice decorating caepaecaesurae I'm about fivwe feet awvay, armed and armored, and out of line of sight. To your left from the chair. Fivwe feet from the edge of the wvall, excuse me. Other side of it. carnivalsorphans hot

[bythepowerof4]

clea and nick and a very confusing two day argument @nickatnightwalker

[during daisy’s 420 dash shenanigans]

bythepowerof4nnnno dont encourage her this is bad

nickatnightwalkerim encouraging her to be distracted byh being queen of something clea

bythepowerof4noooooo i dont think its gonna work like that shell just try harder

or maybe not i dontt fucking know i dont know anything

nickatnightwalkersame my guy but it was a chance i was willing to take on behalf of all of us

bythepowerof4ok sure great fingers crossed whatEVER

we are all sooo super grateful

nickatnightwalkeroh this is worse

bythepowerof4that wasnnt even a goov fucking burn

bythepowerof4that was so LAME and she thinks she s so SMART and i hate her

and i dont wanna talk about it actually how are you

nickatnightwalkeri am

dying

bythepowerof4Great

nickatnightwalkeri would have gray hair by now if it were possible for me to have melanin

bythepowerof4youre not helping though!!!!! uoure engaging!!!!!

noo ok not my business

this is meant to be chill i want to be chill

nickatnightwalkerjus wait till the bowl goes around again

nickatnightwalkeri was trying to distract her you kmnow thats the only way to stop the daisymobile

bythepowerof4thats not fair you know thats not fair

nickatnightwalkerwhat waiting for the bowl or the daisymobile

bythepowerof4Both duh

nickatnightwalkeryes i know, and, also unfair that this is happening on 420 day or our lord and savior snoop

bythepowerof4its not fair that we have to deal with this whether it happens or not wee could just like walk away from the weird passive aggressive blogging ccrcle right now if we so chose

yeah????

because this isnt FUN nickolas it is not

nickatnightwalkeri personally am having a loads of fun messing with ines

you have to dea l with everything when it happens so this is just a thign

bythepowerof4oh cool great youre just as bad fantastic news

nickatnightwalkerok i did no t and have not publicly read anybody out yet to date

i only do that privatley and only when it suits me

bythepowerof4:/

://////

bythepowerof4look at u ur being a dick right niw!!!!

nickatnightwalkeroh what to ines

im screwing with her

shes trying to fight me

bythepowerof4because this is soo the best way to deal with that sort of situation

nickatnightwalkerits just funny idk why shes getting all snaked out of shape

bythepowerof4"hot" you dick????

Youre both being gross now stop it!!!

nickatnightwalkera joke

a JOKE

shes a lesiabn

also just like

no

bythepowerof4its not FUNNY nick

neither of you are funny its weird and annoying and embarrassing

nickatnightwalkershe wants ot punch me bc i sias d bite me

i dondt really feel like imobligagated to take her seriously anymore

besides shes a shit so no t only is it funny to watch her blow a gasket over the same google image snatched pic i also like pissing her off

bythepowerof4u arent obligated to fight w her either but ur doing that,, a lot

idk

Im not making sense

nickatnightwalkerthis is brely a fight

[nothing until nick sends the photo]

bythepowerof4im not mad at you and im not mad at her so can you not tag team revenge for once in your fucking life

we're having an almost genuine conversation for once without you interjecting to make fun of me and pretend play matchmaker for shits and giggles so can you please, please cut it out

nickatnightwalkerim not making fun of you

nickatnightwalkerif i was making fun of you itd be a lot meaner

you should be flattered i even considereed encourragign you to go for daisy

[next day]

bythepowerof4hey!! how are you feeling haha, is ur hair still going grey

bythepowerof4im not trying to act like nothing is bad btw i just wanted to start it off nice sorry :/

nickatnightwalkermy hair's moved past being gray and now it's black, so im inadvertently copying misha again

bythepowerof4lmao this is some goth power play shit love it

nickatnightwalkerwhite haired twink is out 2008 gerard way is in

bythepowerof4as it should be!! do you need eyeliner like i don't have any but it would really make the Look

nickatnightwalkerwhy would i need that when i have dry erase markers to just apply liberally to my face

bythepowerof4so resourceful?? pinterest diy that shit

bythepowerof4we can raid the art rooms, get some glue while we're at it and cut a big chunk out of your hair gel budget

nickatnightwalkerdanger with that is potentially overgluing and making it fragile and breakable like glass

bythepowerof4glass bones and paper skin and glass hair also. got it

i mean youre pretty protective of it already i doubt anyone would notice the difference!!

nickatnightwalkerevery morning i break my legs getting out of bed

bythepowerof4do your heart attacks put you to sleep bc i know that feeling

nickatnightwalkeryeah thats why i sleep like four separate times a day

bythepowerof4and i thought that was just a #relateableteen thing

bythepowerof4so not to be weird but is this like. Chilly lackluster banter or are you actually not mad at me

nickatnightwalkerno im pissed

bythepowerof4ok

can i ask why

nickatnightwalkeri mean well first ya came at me for fucking with you which

like i said

i do but it's obvious

then you were a shit to daisy

so

thats that

bythepowerof4iiii mean. you said you wouldnt do that anymore. and then you did. i was just upset

and im sorry about daisy, i told her that too

bythepowerof4like really sorry!!

i just think its weird that someone can say, threaten to kill her and call her a bitch all the time

and youll date him

but i cant get a little upset when we're all high and im having a super stressful few days!!

nickatnightwalkerdo what anymore

bythepowerof4fuck with me

about her

nickatnightwalkerim not

i havent been

bythepowerof4you did though

bythepowerof4like what else was that picture

nickatnightwalkeryou said she was weird and creepy and i sent a picture of her being cute and sweet

bythepowerof4i said she was ACTING weird and creepy which objectively is an accurate description for someone talking about throbbing tentacle dicks and using the word "quivering" in relation to the nether regions of the girl they beat up for fun

but like, what do i know

i dont think shes weird and creepy and thats not what that photo was about im not an idiot

nickatnightwalkerlisten i frankly think everyone needs to reserve their judgment on the moire and daisy situation because it's clearly very complex and beyond the comprehension of mortal men and none of our fucking business to judge one way or another and, yknow, imho, moire has gills and misha smells like magic and youre 4d so maybe also reserve your fucking judgment on who's weird around here anyway

bythepowerof4i know thats why i apologized

nickatnightwalkershe can say shit like that and still be cute and sweet

bythepowerof4but like i said, high and upset and still getting used to this, so u can forgive me for one slip up surely

nickatnightwalkershe contains motherfucking multitudes

bythepowerof4thats not what you were saying though!! you didnt say that

you sent me a picture trying to make me jealous or something, just like she was saying, because obviously i cant have a private conversation with either one of you

nickatnightwalkerif youre jealous thats your problem

bythepowerof4im NOT

you both keep acting like i am thats not fair!!!

nickatnightwalkeri wasnt youre the one who's fixated on it

dont believe i ever said the j word

bythepowerof4i didnt either!! she did!!!

im not fixated on anything i just want to be able to talk to you without you making it about her all the time

nickatnightwalkerweve occasionally talked about more than daisy im p sure

bythepowerof4:/ you know what i meant

nickatnightwalkerwell this IS about her whether you think im continually screwing with you in some single minded attempt to torment you or not

and im not a fan of someone who says theyre her friend telling her shit like that

bythepowerof4i said SORRY it happens ok!!! i feel really awful about it why do you think i was so upset yesterday?

nickatnightwalkeri dont know dude i was baked

bythepowerof4i didnt know that specific thing upset her so much bc no one gave me a rule book for this shit and im never gonna do it again

nickatnightwalkerok cool

im also deciding rightnow this second i dont care if you believe why i sent the picture or not because youre so dead set on me trying to fuck with you ill never change your mind

and for the record

damians never called her a bitch again

nickatnightwalkerand if he tried to kill her, id be more concerned about scraping enough of him up off the sidewalk to fill a bucket

bythepowerof4youre not even gonna try to understand why i might think that

like i could tell you if u gave enough of a shit to listen yeah

nickatnightwalkeris poor self esteem and daisys difficulty with dropping her persona not the right answer

bythepowerof4not quite but thhanks

for that

nickatnightwalkerthats usually what it is

bythepowerof4ok just. Listen for a sec without jumping in to insult me yeah

bythepowerof4the two of you like, obviously tell each other everything. like u straight up reference shit shes obviously told u n vice versa

and that makes it weird cause it feels like im never talking to just you and thats why its weird when u bring her up bc its like, why wouldnt u just tell her whatever i say!!!

bythepowerof4and u keep saying i have a shot w her and telling me how to impress her when i just wanted to brag about winning chicken it didnt have to be a THING u know???

bythepowerof4but like!!! if ur saying that then she knows and it makes it weird!!! like you do that even when you said youd stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of moire and then you immediately send that picture and u can see how i might think it was a fucking team effort

yeah?????

bythepowerof4its weird and intimidating and im not even friends with her i was obviously fooling myself about that but i thought i was friends with you

like not youtwo as a unit or whatever fake setting me up

ok im done but that was stupid so whatever

nickatnightwalkerwell like 1. i dont tell her everything

i know hard concept but just because we talk about a lot of shit which is, yknow, what one does with friends, it doesnt mean we talk about everything

nickatnightwalkerfor instance: didnt know she said you were jealous of moire

bythepowerof4ok

bythepowerof4i believe you im obviously not that big a deal for u guys to bother talking abt me fine

but u can at least see how i might think that given ur whole thing is acting like ur joined at the hip and ganging up on ppl

u know

nickatnightwalkerwait do you want us to talk about you or not clea

nickatnightwalkershe was upset so she told me, i was pissed so i gave you photographic evidence

of the contrary imean

if i know everything about her then when i say youve got a shot i really think im in the best position to be calling that

bythepowerof4thats the problem!! Bc i clearly dont have a shot we dont even talk that much bc i dont even know how to talk to her and that makes it seem like ur pulling it out of ur ass!

nickatnightwalkereither i know everything about her or i dont make up your mind truong

bythepowerof4youre missing the point ok

nickatnightwalkerif the point isnt me giving you the run around to fuck with you not sure what the point is then

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkeris that not literally what you just said

bythepowerof4that is youre just getting bogged down in dumb shit im saying!!

nickatnightwalkeror dyou have your planes in a knot over us telling each other things like, information, like, sharing information about our lives

bythepowerof4stop that i dont give a shit about how the two of you act i just want you to get that its scary!! and it makes it hard for me and you expect me to be so good at this that the second i fuck up youre coming at methis hard

nickatnightwalkerof course i am shes my best friend and youre her friend so it's way worse than some rando ragging on her

bythepowerof4youre MY friend youre like my best friend here because im a fucking mess and youre getting personal about this and its upsetting me it doesnt have to be this intense???

nickatnightwalkerhurting daisy is always gonna be personal clea

nickatnightwalkerand i get you apologized and thats cool and that could be that but to the best of my fucking understanding im not giving you false hope and tbqh honestly, to be honest, actually, youre a decent fucking person and i have a strong preference that daisy go on coffee dates with someone whos not gonna knock her teeth out of her fucking head

bythepowerof4youre that invested and youve never said a single thing to her about it??

do you see how i might come to doubt that

nickatnightwalkeryeah and what the fuck would i say sorry but your weird hate crush kinda gives me the heebs have you ever considered not acting on that and trying to be relatively normal and healthy instead

bythepowerof4so what i have to do everything

nickatnightwalkeridk if youve noticed this but she doesnt really know what shes doing a lot of the time when shes talking to people so you know how i was talking about effort:: reward? thats where that comes in

bythepowerof4thats not fair

you could have just told her that thing you just said instead of pinning the work on other people without even telling them

nickatnightwalkergenerally speaking i try not to reveal daisys weaknesses to new acquaintances

bythepowerof4thats still not fair

do u even like me or are you seriously just trying to set her up with the least murderous person here

nickatnightwalkerif i didnt like you i wouldnt care if you were the least murderous person here

besides i dont get how you think us talking to each other is weird but you expect me to run interference in every single one of her friendships like, hey, just a heads up, shes got trouble finding the off button on the snarky attitude

like hell wingmanning you is pretty much the limit of what i can justify

bythepowerof4i dont expect you to do anything ive told you plenty of times that that shouldnt be your job

youre the one whos apparently been trying to invent a friendship where there isnt one?? forgive me for feeling kind of skeeved

nickatnightwalkeri was under the impression that you WERE friends

not sure when you stopped being friends actually

i KNOW shes doing her best to be less

bad

around you

bythepowerof4:/

nickatnightwalkerwhat

bythepowerof4i didnt wanna say "relationship" tbh bc there definitely isnt one of those

nickatnightwalkeroh haha relatable but look

i saw something good happening there with regards to daisy makin a human connection and i was trying my motherfucking utmost to encourage it

bythepowerof4ok but. its not a genuine human connection if youre there right

thats not very organic its just uncomfortable and confusing

i appreciate your help i guess but it was clearly more for her benefit than mine and that doesnt feel great?

nickatnightwalkerim not like lurking behind coffee machines im not actually THERE

and of course it's more for her benefit i didnt even know you

bythepowerof4i mean the second it went south you were, there, actually,

oh wow

thanks

nickatnightwalkerman youre not gonna pick me over like, your brother or something i dont see how this is shocking

besides

daisys

a good person to be friends with

bythepowerof4i mean sure but im still a bit caught up in you picking me out of a lineup like oh theyll do!!

nickatnightwalkerwhat line up

she likes you

bythepowerof4ok this part for once is not about her

well a little bit but listen

i thought we were friends because you thought i was nice and wanted to be

aka nothing to do with daisy

nickatnightwalkerwell like

yeah

that kinda helped your case though i guess

bythepowerof4no im sorry but that makes it weird

bythepowerof4that you befriended me for her sake and the second i pissed her off you trashed me for it like all im good for is bringing out the good in her

thats stupid??

nickatnightwalkeroh my god you have terrible reading comprehension

step 1.  we got to be friends

bythepowerof4ok we're back at insilts great!!!

nickatnightwalkershhh just shhh for like a second im breaking itdown alright

step 1. we got to be friends

step 2. you and daisy are also sort of friendsish

step 3. i encourage this shit because shes trying and youre pretty alright

step 4.  youre yelling at me for leading you on and befriending you to like lure you to daisy or some shit because i apparently just psychically knew you were ok

dont remember if we started talking because you were already talking to daisy so i figure that says something

bythepowerof4thats not what you just said but fine

bythepowerof4if im so wrong about all of this then im sorry for misunderstanding

nickatnightwalkerno it is what i just said

being friends with me first helped your case re me backing you up since i knew you werent a dick

bythepowerof4fine!!! ok i get it i just apologized

i cant help not getting stuff sometimes i figure u would get that being friends with daisy and all

but youre just saying all thise mean shit to upset me and not even feeling bad about it apparently

nickatnightwalkerlisten i really hand to god dont know what things youre talking about right now

doing it for daisy over you?  like

i knew you enough to know youre alright but daisy is daisy

bythepowerof4ok well yesterday, for one, with the "you should be flattered" bullshit

bythepowerof4and u were fucked so i would forgive that in a second if u bothered apologizing

or maybe the picture, which like, whatever your intentions were clearly was pretty hurtful

or anything about low self esteem, treating me like a melodramatic idiot,

any of that rally

nickatnightwalkerim gonna address these in order

bythepowerof4unless ur adress contains a sorry i dont care

ive heard ur excuses and thats great but thats not how this works

nickatnightwalkerlike

nickatnightwalkerugh jesus cut me some slack im not exactly a social guru here either im sorry about the low self esteem comment that was genuinely not meant to be douchy and neither was the picture even though i sent it because i was pissed

that was more of a look youre wrong kinda thing but i get how with daisy saying you were jealous that looks way harsher than i thought it was so im sorry about that

bythepowerof4even in context of like, just our previous convos i think that seems pretty harsh but yeah

thanks

i appreciate it for real

nickatnightwalkerand like i cant in good faith apologize for the you should be flattered shit because regardless of the situation daisy is daisy and in the interest of transparency im never gonna think anyones good enough for her but like i said she was willing to make an effort for you and i knew you were ok so

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkerwhat i honestly dont get why youre so shocked i prioritize daisy

bythepowerof4im not but you dont,, need to, for one

u know you didnt eed to compare us at all

and no offence but if youre trying to convince me you like me as a person and not just bc im convenient

saying "youre ok" as often as possible is NOT reassuring

nickatnightwalkeroh what

well first obviously i had to since you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you and second of all i dont mean Ah Yes, You'll Do..... i mean youre ok

like

bythepowerof4that hadnt happened yet u just brought it up out of nowhere

nickatnightwalkernot bad

bythepowerof4it was douchey

nickatnightwalkerno you

you said it

like

ill scroll back if i have to but you said me doing it all for her felt bad

bythepowerof4yeah and it does fyi but u pulled that "you dont deserve her" crap last fucking night

if youre gonna continue a fight u started high at least read the backlogs dude

its clearly on ur mind if u brought it ip for no reason

nickatnightwalkerit wasnt for no reason it was because she was upset you called her weird and crazy

i didnt pull this shit from the void

bythepowerof4" you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you" this hadnt happened yet thats all im saying

u cant even keep your excuses straight

i didnt compare us and you decided to and that understandably made me feel like shit

nickatnightwalkerwell goddamn you pulled the receipts it's certainly not like i couldnt have misunderstood what particular thing you were referring to

bythepowerof4i only did that bc u tried to make it about something else!! i get why u were mad at me but youre trying to make me look dumb its not fair!!

nickatnightwalkerim not trying to make you look like anything believe it or not

sometimes i too am capable of misunderstandings

bythepowerof4then why dont you ever say sorry for them

ive messed up like a dozen times in this convo alone and i said "sorry i misunderstood" ur just

id unno its going in circles and its dumb bc i just want you to not be mad at me

nickatnightwalkerbecause im too busy trying to tell you im not framing you to look like a tool

bythepowerof4and i said i believed you

but youre acting like im an idiot for thinking it at all

nickatnightwalkerdude im not

like i dont know what im doing thats making you think that but im sorry?

bythepowerof4i told you!! over and over!! and you kept making it into something else!!

literally read what u just said and tell me it wouldnt make u feel like an idiot

nickatnightwalkerwhatever sorry i compared you and said you should be flattered

bythepowerof4whatever

sorry agan for being a dick to you last night, bc i admit i was, and to daisy but ill take that one to her bc its like, Our Business

whatevers dont count and im tired so, till next time i guess

nickatnightwalker i said it after you upset her but before you apologized and pretty much would feel that way if donald glover himself came to her door

[flapsinhands]

Naw, we wouldn't be bored. We love hearing stories and background knowledge! At least, some of us do...you haven't told that story yet, have you? I'm still relatively new here...

* { iiii do not think i have, now that i think about it. }

* { i guess it doesn’t make sense now that i look back on it, but. it is what happened. }

* { i uh. i’m gonna put this under a readmore, i think, just. just in case? }

* { so - i was, about. 12, i think, when undertale came out in my universe. timeline.... whatever. you know. }

* { now - to back this up a bit, uh, my family is. was? fairly wealthy. they worked in the computer industry - both worked with a company that was geared towards trying to find ways to make virtual reality more realistic and immersive. }

* { anyways, uh - most of my stuff was set up with a lot of this equipment at my asking, i loved the idea of really getting into my games and i did it with every game i really could. and things worked fine, they never gave me anything that had been deemed unsafe, you know. }

* { but when i got my hands on undertale, i started hearing about like... hidden files. hidden NPCs in the game - the mystery man, the followers, you know. gaster and his group. }

* { and i started to try and get the character name to BE gaster, but each time i tried the game would just reject it. }

* { i started getting into the code to try and force it, for a while, and it worked! and i was happy, but. we did. manage to find the grey room, while using that name, and... }

* { all i can remember past that is blacking out and waking back up with frisk back at the beginning. }

* { we went through things, made it to the end, i figured maybe things would be fine - but when they exited the area past the barrier i just got. yanked out and away. stuck in the void, stuck in a room, all alone. }

* { i’ve been here ever since. }

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’) 

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy 

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer 

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family 

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird 

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’) 

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?) 

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch 

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao 

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty 

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists 

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it 

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :( 

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense 

did anything else happen on the airship. ider 

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH. 

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend 

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory 

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about 

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood 

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red 

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section 

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof. 

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god 

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao 

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN???? 

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him 

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen! 

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’) 

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit 

PREDICTIONS: 

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’ 

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof 

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho 

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on 

[2girls1thought]

how this got here...

I genuinely can’t explain what I felt when I met you. Not when I saw you. I judged you. I really thought you looked like a boy from Stafford. Like Philip... - in retrospect I wasn’t far off. A more intelligent, a more ‘bout it, charismatic, version of the same lesson.... wow, the same lesson dating all the way back to then... But then we talked and you were fuuucking funny bro, you thought I was funny, you looked at me like you’ve never seen a creature like me before in your life. Like I intrigued you and scared you and you wanted to make me feel better. -narcissist/empath relationship?  But anything you (haha i just spelt new dudes name instead of anything at first) felt for me was immediately trumped by my instatiable feeling to make you feel loved, and like you mattered. To try and convince you to save your own life..little did I know you were fucking DROWNING in the same love from the females that came before me and weren’t LUCKY enough to cut all ties when they left..sorry, when you left. Because you always get to leave Andrew. I hate you because I am jealous of your ability to genuinely shut down part of your love..like it wasn’t ever real. - jake too, this is the part of the lesson.......- but I know when it changed. I felt the shift like the love had been left out of the room. From endless laughing and just chilling, kissing, play fighting... like a lightswitch. And I know that I am whole person to deal with and people falling out of love with me OVER TIME is a very real possibility. But i’m not an idiot and I can’t fake energy I felt these relationships or I wouldn’t have engaged. It wasn’t ALL ME. Anyways.. I’m gonna really break this down. March 13th 2016 I went to Manchester hospital...I was there for a week you were there for MAYBE 72 hours buts that fucking pushing it. And there was that bond made, for me. If nothing else you saw a little girl you could DEFINITELY take advantage of, or maybe love. Or maybe you are JUST A LESSON and this is how it would play out....but we had jokes then that we still made when we were together this time. You left and went to carry on with your life until you got locked up. I went to Las Vegas and then to New Hampshire and you were a thought on my mind but just another face on my journey...I meet alot of people. I click with alot of people but I’ve never FELT for any one like that before... well I mean... but still I didn’t hardly think of you until I saw that movie Southpaw and it was like a wave of emotions and I had to find a way to find you and make sure you were okay, that’s when I went into private detective mode. lol. Even our letters and our first phone conversations were easy, witty, it clicked Andrew, we both said that from the beginning. Then you came up to NH, even in your current state, and me sober something happened when we were reunited. We both said that this wasn’t our first time together. This was picking up on something that was started a long time ago.That was the identifying factor for me. That feeling never subsided the whole time we spent the first months together. Which felt like an eternity looking back. And how good, lustful, intense, easy, comfortable it all started as; was equally as bad as it got. Secretive, nasty, abandoning, lonely, deceitful,not trusting. Just as quickly. But it was easy for me to blame that on substance abuse because I changed. I sayy that like iiii didn’t, why couldn’t he? But that’s not for me. Alot of my frustration gets caught up in the me vs him in the relationship. He did this...so I did that.. but I ONLY did that. Its so easy for me to place blame...but I also take accountability. I guess that’s why we’re writing it out... lol.  https://youtu.be/szIDM99kRNM I felt so intensely for you Andrew, I love you more than I think you have the ability of understanding. More than I have the understanding of.. maybe that’s not the point of any of this.. I’ve lost you before 100 times and I grieve you while you’re still sitting next to me. I want to do nothing more than be your peace, be the one place YOU run to. The runner. The fastest, like Duse.Look how faaaast you are...its funny but I’m crying and I somehow can envision you reading this next to me, listening exactly to what I’m istening to right now.. and hug me. I still feel like that can be a thing. But at the same time I think I learned what I’ve needed to... I hope. If I have not I guess we know for sure we’ll back together on this level. I’ve never met anyone like you.. except me. I think the reason it hurts so fucking much is because I have no reason to be mad at you... i fucking UNDERSTAND and it rips me apart because you weren’t strong enough to try. You know what you need to do to, to be who you want to be. And you’re just not fucking willing to do it. And I’m not willing to give you all of this...life, with out you meeting me at alll.. anywhere. 1/2 way, 1/16th way. At all. I can’t respect that. I don’t know what that’s like, to say you want or need something and not even fucking try to work for it. I was willing to do walk you through life you fucking DIPPPED. That’s the one thing we talked about, that is my biggest fear. And you left and didn’t look back. Not a 2 minute phone call to let me know you’re alive. Nothing. You flipped the switch back to not giving a fucking. That just does not work for me. Because if you don’t care than I CANNOT care. I will end up even more hurt, over a longer period of time.  I don’t know what this is. I’m listening to songs that make me cry and focusing on something I REALLY don’t want to think about.. 

welp.

[viper-no-viping]

Wweelp. I guess it's Rambling Time.

Not even sure how far I'll get in any particular topic, but, we're still kind of rusty with blathering shit for school assignments, so.. Here I am, exercising my shit-blathering pathways, or whatever.

I guess an initial General Weather Report would be suitable, given that seems to be how our collectively chronophobic ass keeps track of things that we will Almost Definitely forget in the nearish future.. But that would require thinking in detail about Various Things and that's kind of Not My Bag rly, heh, so. I dunno, I guess we'll see what happens.

Suppose starting with the current thought process will suffice. There's this trans chick on YouTube we follow, who posted recently that she's getting bottom surgery, now that she's recovered from her facial feminization surgery. From there I ended up at.. One or two other videos, pretty sure it was two, about her transition timeline.

And now "transition timeline testosterone" is sitting there in the YouTube search bar staring back at me and I'm just like :\ lol dunno, or someshit.. sigh.

This video made some Feely Feels rear their dysphoric heads, because of some Hashtag Relatable shit about the way he described stuff.. And I'm sure the seething jealousy that he got top surgery means something, heh, meanwhile we're over here crossing our fingers that the body isn't too fucked up for even a breast reduction, which, even for that, the co-pay alone.. ugh.

I mean, not like I actually know how much it would be yet, hopefully Tahni will remember to ask about that when we see the primary again for the results of the next ultrasound to make sure that ovarian cyst isn't fucking cancer, fucking goddamn cancer, never would have thought we'd be stressing over that as a possibility but here we fucking are..

Well. I personally don't have much history, hehe, what with the Iiii don't, exist, Iiii don't, exist.. et cetera.. yeeup, not sure where that was going, but anyway. Yeah. If not from the fucking ovaries, possibly from the goddamn thyroid, which is Fun. Apparently there are no actual known causes for the thyroid cancers, shit just fucking happens, more commonly in "women." Yay.

But I mean, even if it is some kind of fucking thyroid cancer, at this point just take the shit out and put us on thyroid meds for the rest of our life, just make this shit stop.. ugh, but it's probably not even one thing, is it, this whole fucking body is going to shit, and how many months will it be until we've done enough tests and shit to figure out what's even going on..

It's so funny, two years ago they Really Thought it would just be an endoscopy and colonoscopy to find the cause, just a couple tests.. xD Ahh, funny in a kind of lol kill me way.. But at least shit is actually showing UP on tests now. Just having the vague undiagnosable bullshit is a different kind of agony, like before the LPR was diagnosed, it is Fucked Up trying to get any kind of answer on shit when your main symptom is just a constant hellish nausea, not anything that comes back from a lab test with Actual Results that doctors will Actually Respect.. To say nothing of how family and friends start slowly but surely deciding to themselves that it's just you making a fuss out of "nothing."

So, yeah. Different kind of hell, but godfuckingdamn I would take almost any other ailment aside from this fucking Everlasting Period bullshit. Talk about fucking dysphoria, haha. You really hate acknowledging the existence of this entire section of the meatsuit you're stuck in? Here, have some as-yet-undiagnosed ~menstrual issues~ that make the most unpleasant thing that section of the meatsuit does last TWICE AS LONG AS IT USED TO!! THAT SURELY WON'T MAKE YOU WANT TO STAB YOURSELF AT ALL!!!!

Yep. Look how well I'm coping. XDD STFU self, damn.

Or, well, I guess don't STFU, still need to exercise the word-vomit muscles, god knows how the fuck I'm gonna get by the rest of that godforsaken pass/fail How To Actually Do Shit With Your Psychology Degree Part I class.. Due tomorrow is an assignment in place of a midterm, to make a resume and goal list of shit to do that'll make said resume better.

Except there are no accredited fully-online law schools yet, so what in the ungodly fuck are we gonna even do with the degree? It's not like having it is gonna make the body less of a complete medical fucking wreck, it's not like it'll erase the fact that we can never know when we're going to be suddenly fucking incapacitated with dizziness/ridiculous cramps/intense don't-fucking-move-or-you'll-gag nausea for days on end so we can't actually keep a consistent schedule of doing anything outside of the house, what the fuck good is it gonna do me to make a fucking resume reminding me of exactly how worthless of a job candidate we are at this point?

Whoops, that Got Deep real quick, haha. But like, seriously, what the shit do I even put on a resume aside from the fact that we accidentally started the Psychology Club at our high school? If we use the non-chronological resume format it'll make the employment gap stand out less, but it's supposed to emphasize skills and experience instead, and what fucking skills or whatever can we even put on a resume? What fucking skill set will make you a viable job candidate when you can't even stand for the length of a shower without your legs getting shaky, but you don't have a fancy enough degree or the social stamina to handle a job that doesn't require some form of physical labor? Not to mention I think there's also supposed to be a made-up cover letter, something like "Hi I'm XYZ and I'm applying for ABC job with this resume", what the fucking shit can I even put for that when I know how Ridiculously Limited we are at this point?

A bunch of blathered nonsense to fill a page with lots of words and hopefully conceal the fact that we're completely making shit up. That's what. Because I can't just say "I'm Pretty Much Fucked in terms of traditional employment because chronically ill autistic multiple, and am trying to plan out a career in online comics, or if online law school becomes a thing I'll gladly use my psych degree for that." That's how you fail an assignment, even if it's the truth. I can't exactly write a cover letter to the internet announcing our intent to try that shit. So. Yeah. All aboard the Blathering Train, instead.

But yeah, anyway, that's enough financial/career angst for right now. Back to dysphoria angst!, lolol.

Yeah, so, here I am staring at this shit in the search bar and just.. Like, I don't even know if it would be medically safe to try HRT at this point, but aside from that, I don't even think that's what we want, ideally? Not interested in dealing with facial hair, armpit and "downstairs" hair already pisses some of us off enough..

Not sure if we're interested in being perceived as male, I guess, but not really wanting to be perceived as female either? I'm pretty sure at this point most of us are either specifically agender, or don't subscribe to the concept of gendering traits at all and just call themselves non-binary..

Like, the vast majority of us have fucking hated the body's boobs since they first showed up in middle school. We gave Not A Fuck for gendered shit, in general, but on an autistic sensory level we Fucking Despise pressure on the body's chest and these bitches are heavy. Even moreso than usual, recently, what with the hormones being fucked up. Fucking hate it.

But like, how do you explain to a doctor that you want the boobs off completely? The best we can probably realistically hope for is a reduction because back pain, but I dunno if it would Raise Questions if we asked what the smallest possible size they could do was. Could we settle for As? Would it be weird to ask to go from DDs to As? Weird enough that someone would take the time to be like "now hang on a second" and start trying to make us go through the red tape bullshit to be on record as Officially A Trans TM?

If we could get away with not wearing a bra without looking like we're wearing weird droopy melons under our shirt, I feel like that much would be enough for several of us, even if the body did still technically have some small boobage. As long as it didn't impede us or anything we wanted to do, if it didn't get in the way or weigh down on our chest, if it didn't make our shirts fit weird, I feel like we could deal with that..

But then I see this trans bro on YouTube here and hhnnghh why can't we just not have themmmm..

I mean, ideally, why can't the fuckers be detachable so those who don't hate them can put them on when they feel like it and the rest of us can go on our merry way without them, but, heh, science isn't quite there yet.. Next best thing seems like it would be getting top surgery and letting whomever felt like having boobs just stuff a bra when they wanted to. But of course, insurance won't pay for it if it's just because We Really Want It, we'd have to either be Officially Trans TM and jump through all those hoops and hope top surgery is covered, or we'd have to just settle for a breast reduction covered under back pain.

I guess it also Says Something, that so many of us in the system are asexual-and/or-gay dudes, or simply never thought about it and are female "by default" aka because the body was categorized as that and we didn't care enough about gender to think there was any other option, we just accepted the narrative presented to us, that we were just "not like other girls." None of us have ever felt super masculine or super feminine, that I can recall, because What The Fuck Even Is Gender, and why the fuck is it necessary to divide up traits into human-created categories anyway..

But it makes it hard to figure out exactly where we are in terms of transness.. We've known Basically Forever that we "aren't like other girls," but gender means so little to us that we never particularly wanted to be a boy either, so calling ourselves a trans guy or even just non-binary transmasculine still seems odd, even though it seems like the latter should fit..

But then, how much of that is just cisheteronormativity in action? Because I know we've had several dreams wherein we had a wang and it felt pretty natural, not foreign and out of place like the body's current genitalia setup. But like, what the fuck does wang-creating surgery even look like, that sounds like a whole mess of complicated shit to figure out, and we're already medically compromised..

With the arrival of our newest non-straight dude, one of several in the system, some of us have had to seriously reexamine where we stand on gender shit. I guess at this point it's generally accepted that we would have been much better suited to existence as "semi-effeminate AMAB homoflexible non-binary ace," rather than "pan-quoiro AFAB possibly transmasculine non-binary ace"..

I guess it feels like masculine should have been the starting point that we feminized to our liking, instead of starting off with feminine and not knowing if we want to be "masculine enough" to be categorized as "transmasculine".. Is it "masculine enough" if we want the boobs off but can't do HRT because half the shit this other video mentions sounds just as bad as having the boobs? We can't stand body hair and acne and all that, and god knows how HRT would even work with all the hormonal issues the body's already having..

The more I think about what we ultimately would ideally want, the more it seems like we would really just prefer having no AFAB reproductive parts/periods and no boobs, maybe a wang and a lower voice, and that's it. I guess maybe we could try out the aesthetic of some minimal beardage, but body hair in general already irritates several of us.. So like, for various reasons I don't see HRT happening.

We already know most of us would have the boobs off tomorrow if we could, but I guess what's tripping some of us up now is the fact that Vern is way less genitalia-repulsed than most of us, and in fact seems to generally handle the notion of Having A Body better than most of us.. And he definitely identifies as a guy, a non-binary semi-effeminate robot guy but still definitely masc-leaning, so.. What does it say about us if so many of us have already been questioning this for so long, and now the one who's most secure in his gender identity out of all of us is one of our masc-leaning non-binary guys?

I don't even know how we would.. React to it, I guess, if we did try to.. I dunno, embrace being transmasculine or something.. It doesn't feel like we'd prefer to do anything drastically different, behavior-wise, and we don't care enough about pronouns to try to figure out something gender-neutral that isn't "they" because gender-neutral "they" within a plural "they" system is confusing as fuck.. So like, I don't think most of us on the fence about being transmasculine would change our names or whatever, or use he/him pronouns, it would just.. Feel better to not have certain anatomical bits be perceived as part of who we are?

But then that just kind of makes us wonder if we're being a Bad Trans TM or something, like if that counts as reducing gender to body parts or something.. This is all so goddamn complicated.

Hot damn, finally got around to looking up some YouTubeage about how the fuck a phalloplasty actually works.. Taking skin, fat, a nerve, and an artery from the donor site to make it, that sounds so fucking unnerving to even think about, taking body stuff from one area and like.. Making a wang? Ughh, there are so many stages.. Yeah, no, even getting the AFAB reproductive bits out seems like possibly too much intense surgery for us, I don't see how we could ever manage this kind of bottom surgery, shit sounds fucking terrifying, I guess the notion of taking so much shit from another area on the body just kind of gets us in a body horror kind of way..

So yeah, I don't see us being able to do that.. And I mean, we're not really sexually-focused to begin with, so like, aside from just the base-level comfort of Having It, it's not like we'd desperately Need a wang or anything to have a fulfilling life? Just NOT having the AFAB reproductive shit/periods, that would be the main thing, not having that shit and not having the boobs. If we had a lower voice we could pass as a guy if we wanted to, and we'd probably like that, but weighing that one thing against the whole list of other shit that comes with HRT, it's probably not worth it.

But how do you ask for, much less get covered for, removing the boobs and reproductive stuff with no Official Medical Reason, just "because I don't want it"? Non-binary dysphoria doesn't seem like it would be considered a Valid Enough reason for it to be covered, but we don't want to go into a Full Transition either, so.. yeah, I dunno how we'll end up being more comfortable just existing in the body, with so many roadblocks.

I dunno, objectively it's probably internalized transphobia/nb-phobia or whatever the name for that is, not feeling "trans enough" and whatnot.. But I guess part of it is also, why can't we just be a fucking gender mystery and be allowed to exist that way? It's our fucking meatsuit, why do we have to pigeonhole ourselves into either Male or Female just for our insurance to believe that certain bodyparts cause us extreme dysphoria and we'd be better off without them? Why can't we just be a person with no boobs and maybe a wang and a voice that can't be readily identified as male or female?

I dunno why I'm even rambling about this, I know why, cisheteronormativity and various historical fuckeries, et cetera. I guess it's just frustrating trying to figure out where we are on the gender spectrum when we're blocked from making the modifications that would make the body feel less alien to us. Maybe if we could actually get top surgery, we would have a better idea of whether we consider ourselves transmasculine or just some kind of masc-leaning genderfluid non-binary, which is where several of us seem to be right now..

Hnngh. This guy seems like a good example of where we might end up one day if we do end up trying out HRT, but the idea of the body being more of a pain than it already is in terms of body hair/acne/et cetera just seems so shitty..

Haha, is it weird that I'm kind of hoping that ovarian cyst will end up being cancer and they'll give us an option to remove the whole reproductive setup in there? Because we would do that shit in a heartbeat. What's that called, a hysterectomy? A total laparoscopic hysterectomy with bilateral ovary-something-something.. How do you convince insurance that you Need that to improve your quality of life, without establishing yourself as Fully Transitioning?

Wow, this guy's scars are so small, huh, would have thought it'd be worse.. Goddamn, we'd love to have all that shit taken out. Not like we're fucking using any of it, it's just been causing us more and more agony since puberty, can't be doing this fucking 11-day period bullshit anymore, the dysphoria was bad enough on its own..

ugh, why the fuck am I even looking at all this, not like we can do any major surgeries for a while yet, if at all..

I don't know, I guess trying to work out what we would collectively be least-dysphoric with is useful, it's just extra depressing thinking about how hard it'll be to get the boobs off, or even reduced, much less the whole reproductive removal biz.. feh. Time to ramble about something else.

hmph, actually, should probably do the other quiz for that pass/fail class.. -.- That way we can just deal with the resume/goal list bullshit tomorrow, mmmmboy.. meh, that would require more focus than I probably have though, guess it'll be tomorrow.

I dunno. The 10th-to-12th anniversary is fast approaching, probably best to just disappear into distractions a bit longer, at least until it's passed. Still not sure if it'd be best to avoid tumblr or what, on the 12th, but I guess we'll see.. meh.