#// i still fucking cant with myself and the nicknames.

[ashes-writing]

burnin for you pt three | stranger things ; g.emerson

A/N ; I told you guys I love this idiot and I have officially kinda adopted his grumpy ass as one of my own damn it, but anyway... and I wanted to write this for him and all that jazz. Welp, here we kinda have me getting a late night idea about 'stupidest' nicknames that reader and Gareth could call each other -and of course, how to give reader at least one friend that's not hellfire / corroded coffin and a girl so she can do her girly shit and not seem so flat or tragic for me while also exploring reader's home issues and such and inserting ANGST, so here we freakin go.

I shit you not, when the idea for their nicknames came I died laughing. If you guys don't like them, oops? I guess just sub in your own chosen nickname? Look, I'm still working on making the switch from writing OC characters to doing x reader so uh.. I'm trying, lol. [ BTW, i'm gonna attempt to revisit or update the ones for Tommy and Billy, I just.. haven't thought of a way to do it yet. ]

Huuuge huge thanks for all the feedback, oh my god, y'all have been making my days so bright with the comments and the tags and the reblogs and the likes bc I dead ass did not think anybody would read anything I put out bc I am gremlin.. You have no idea how much it truly means to me and I thank you so so so so so much, mwah!

- Ashes

Pairing ; Gareth Emerson x sweet!girly!rich reader [ we're officially calling them pastels and plaid. ]

Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ;  pt I | pt II pt III part IIII can be found here those can and should be read first, then this one.. first of all. Gareth has been aged up to 18 before anybody says a word. I'm putting that out there now. So there's no question about it. This is set in 86 BUT BUT.. the upside down, vecna and all the other stuff that goes along with is not a part of this, it's more of a slice of life thing. So if you're into that... NO DEATHS EITHER BTW.

Tag List ; @allelitesmut @aries-arcade @hcloangcls @heyaitsklaudia @krys-orion @musichealsscars and @scoobiessnacks are the only ones currently on my taglist. If you’d like to be on my taglist for anything I write, including Stranger Things [ here ] add yourself there.

Warnings ; Chrissy -and readers, not so great home lives and her relationship with jason are discussed here so there are some not so nice things (ie, her ED is hinted at here but not really discussed, Jason is an asshole, her mother is verbally abusive and readers parents are just plain neglectful killjoy types who alternate between never being around and purposely taking away things that make reader happy if she's not 'good enough' at them) so before I go any further, that's mentioned heavily in the beginning. It's not that graphic but it is there. Mentions of the devils lettuce + the boys doing a smoking circle after jamming in Jeff's garage, lots of internal pining and the angst that goes with it, use of nicknames/petnames (bunny and meatball, my mind at 2 am, babes i s2g) and that's it.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || - send me things.

I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.

You couldn’t sleep. The house was too quiet and your mind was way too noisy. There’s a park just down the street that you’ve been going out to the swingsets to sit on nights like this. It’s normally empty because this is the gated neighborhood and most of the people in it are usually asleep, so as you make your way down dimly lit streets towards the park, you’re surprised to learn that’s not the case tonight.

Chrissy Cunningham is sitting on the jungle gym, Leaned back with all her weight on her palms, her head tilted back as she gazes at the sky. Remembering she’s one of them, you’re about to turn and make your way back up the street but she spots you and jogs over.

“Wait. Don’t go… Please?”

You eye her warily, a hand on your hip. You start to turn and just walk away anyway because looking at her only brings back the way Brook, the queen bee at your old school confronted you in front of everyone at your old school to tear you down and humiliate you and ruin everything, but you happen to see the red in Chrissy’s eyes.

You try to tell yourself she’s probably high, everybody in your old clique at the boarding school you were in before life -and shitty, neglectful parents, landed you in Hawkins in the big lonely house on the end of the street. But something about that thought doesn’t fit. Then you remember hearing her mother shouting earlier, halfway up the block.

What’s more is you heard her over your father’s true pride and joy, a top dollar home theater system. That wasn’t on low volume by any means because you were trying to drive out the tomb-like silence.

You rub the bridge of your nose and it’s what she says next that sways you into sticking around. “Please don’t go. I…I won’t annoy you and this isn’t a trick, okay? I just... I want someone to talk to right now. Please?”

You take a deep breath. “Fine.” you finally respond. The two of you make your way back over to the jungle gym she’d previously been sitting on and for about ten minutes, you’re both just sitting in complete silence.

“The freaks..” Chrissy starts and you cut her off. “They’re not freaks.” you assert calmly, giving her a warning look. “They’re my friends. I think they are, I dunno...” you go quiet and your words trail off as you look down at the manicure you’d given yourself that afternoon while watching General Hospital and babysitting the two youngest Sinclair girls. You’d done the two girls nails to match, of course.

“Sorry, it’s just…” Chrissy swallows hard, swinging bare feet around, her feet making a soft thud when the heels of them met the wood plank behind them. “That’s what everyone around here calls them. It’s a bad habit and I hate it.”

“Then don’t do it. Y’know, you do have the power to change things.” you say it with a quiet laugh and you immediately apologize. “Don’t take my advice. Trust me.” you add a few seconds later. “Because I tried to change things at the boarding school I was at before… Only ended with me getting fucked over.”

Chrissy cringes and looks at you in concern, but closer up, you’re thinking to yourself that if anyone needs a concerned look right now, it’s her. You start to ask her if she’s eaten because everything about the way her face just looks so damn tired makes you think about Elaine from your old school. Before you can stop yourself and remind yourself that Chrissy is one of them and they’re not to be trusted under any circumstance, you’ve asked the question. “Are you okay?”

“The whole neighborhood heard it.” Chrissy mumbles softly. “I thought just this once she’d be proud of me,y’know?” she’s wiping at her eyes and you tense a little because all you wanted to do when you left your house was come down and sit in silence to look up at the stars.

Try to quiet your own noisy mind and all the doubts and fears in it for just a little while. Try to stop yourself from calling Gareth at fuck all o’clock because he’s the only one you sort of trust and you just needed to hear his voice because you’re determined not to give anybody - a friend, your parents, a boy, that much of a hold on you again.

Instead of admitting that you heard it because that feels like the wrong thing to do somehow, you shrug. “I was watching some stupid show.” you mumble quietly. It’s not a complete lie, you were watching tv when it happened. You just omit the fact that you heard her mother lashing out at both her and her father over the volume level of said television show.

She looks a little relieved that maybe one person didn’t hear her mother lashing out. You manage a weak smile and repeat your earlier question because to an extent, she hasn’t fully answered it. She looks down at her bare feet and shakes her head. “I hate being me.”

And you feel that in your bones. But you don’t say anything. She laughs and it’s a quiet and almost bitter sound. “I mean, perfect boyfriend, perfect grades, perfect body… You’d think I’d be happy…Right?” she shakes her head and mutters a quiet, “Forget it.”

“No,no.” you reach out for her wrist when she goes to leave. “Finish what you were going to say. It’s not like I’m gonna sleep tonight anyway.” with a mild shrug.

“Your parents too?” she asks and the question is almost hopefully phrased as she searches your eyes. You bite your lip and shrug. “Lack thereof, actually. They won’t be back from their little business trip until December, if they even come back. According to my father, they’re in talks to merge with some other entertainment business and go in together to open some nightclub or something. They could be gone a year or something, I really don't know..” you laugh quietly.

“Wasn’t your father talking to the mayor about re-visiting the whole idea to buy out the mall?”

“Yeah, he was. Then he got this offer and decided to go with it. Mayor Kline didn’t want to negotiate, something about the current owners of the mall had a better idea.” you shrug, rolling your eyes.

“So you’re there alone?”

“There’s a cleaning lady that comes in twice a week. It’s not like it’s a big deal.” you shrug it off. It is a big deal but you’re so used to the endless parade of service people in and out and the absence of your actual parents that now you just get numb because there’s no hope left.

“We weren’t talking about me, Chrissy.” you mumble after the silence gets just a little too thick. She sighs. “I hate him. I hate him and I hate my mother. But I still love her and I want her to be proud of me just once so I do everything I can…”

You gaze at her and nod. “Listen, this is your life. Fuck them.”

She manages a nervous smile. Twists a strand of strawberry blonde around her finger. “I wish it were that easy.”

“This is gonna sound selfish but trust me.. Or don’t, whatever.” you’re swinging your feet as you look up at the moon and stars overhead. After a second or two to pause and think about how best to word it, you decide to just say it. “Has that idiot Jason Carver ever done anything good or helpful for you?” you gaze at her.

“Well, no but–”

You shake your head. “No buts. Him ‘making you popular’ or whatever bullshit you were about to say is not important, it doesn’t count.” you laugh quietly. The more you sit and talk to her on the jungle gym in the middle of the night, the more you’re confronted with just how much alike you both are.

You don’t like that, it doesn’t sit well.

This in turn, leads you to sort of think that maybe it’s time you follow the advice you’re giving her. Or try harder to.

“Okay, what about your mother? When’s the last time she actually gave a shit?”

Chrissy’s mouth opens and closes and she’s in deep thought. You shrug mildly. “Do what makes you happy. To hell with your mother definitely, Hawkins High student body and especially that piece of shit Jason Carver.”

“Why are you telling me this? I..” she trails off, laughing softly. “I thought you hated us.”

No sense in deluding the poor girl, you respond quietly, “Most of you, yeah. I wouldn’t spare a drop of pee if most of you were on fire..” you gaze at her thoughtfully. “Maybe you’re different. Maybe it’s not too late for you.” and as you say this, you focus all your energy into it because if it’s not too late for her this means it’s not too late for you.

She manages a weak smile. “Maybe.”

“What does make you happy, hm?”

Chrissy giggles quietly. “There’s this boy.” she starts and instantly, you get the feeling you might possibly not want to hear the rest because if it all centers around a boy -because right now, god that sounds just way too close to home and you’re definitely not in the state of mind to deal with that just yet, it’s probably gonna be an awful disaster for her.

“No, I meant like.. Hobbies?” you clarify what you meant.

“Cheerleading. That really does make me happy. It’s the only thing that keeps me hanging on.”

Like your ballet. That your parents took you out of to put you in boarding school so they could jet around god knows where and do anything but be parents. Your mother claims to this day that she was doing it for your own good because you weren’t good enough and she was saving you from pain later, but you honestly didn’t care if you were any good or not, you just loved to dance. You loved the structure and the discipline because it was something nobody gave a shit about you enough to give to you at home.

Besides the one nanny you had when you were 10, the only one who acted like a goddamn parent and didn’t treat you like you were just some kind of little prop when needed. But they took her too because your father said attachments were something that would make you weak.

You nod and you smile a little. Before you stop yourself with the reminder that again, she is one of them and therefore, not to be trusted even a little, you mumble quietly, “Ballet.” and you give a shrug. “I was in classes but my mother decided I wasn’t doing well enough at it to warrant going anymore.”

Chrissy swallows hard and she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. You mumble an apology because there you go again, making it awkward. “Sorry, I… That should’ve stayed in my head.”

“No, no.. It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

And she doesn’t.

Something she’s thinking about makes her smile just a little and you bite your lip, looking at her. “Okay, out with it. What’s his name?” you decide that maybe it's safer to stick to boys or whatever else you can both think of because this conversation is getting just a shade too heavy right now for you but you want to talk to her, you need to talk to someone.

“Eddie Munson.” Chrissy answers in an almost dreamy and shy tone as she laughs softly. "It feels so good to just say it."

You gape for a second and then you laugh quietly. “Wow. I..” you shake your head, dragging your hand through damp hair, “I was not expecting that.”

“You can’t say anything, alright? Please?” she begs.

You’d never say a word, one, because you dunno if she’s trustworthy or not just yet and two, you know how that feels. To trust somebody with something and then they take it and use it against you somehow, make a total mess of everything.

You rub your forehead.

This entire conversation has been one eye-opener after another.

Some necessary and some, like Chrissy’s confession about having a crush on Eddie Munson, totally shocking. But you feel a little lighter somehow. You come away with the desire to stop letting life run over you repeatedly. To stand up for yourself more. With everyone. To stop giving a shit about anyone who doesn’t give a shit about you.

“I won’t.” you manage a smile and hold up your pinkie despite it being the height of childish. She links her pinkie through and you both laugh quietly.

“Y’know..” you’re not even sure why you’re suggesting it, maybe it’s to save her from Jason Carver turning into a worse man later in life and her being trapped, maybe it’s just for shits and giggles because you cannot, for the life of you picture Eddie, an actual golden retriever idiot, - the thought comes with all the friendly affection you can muster, of course,  with her.

“Yeah?”

“Eddie’s a way better person than Jason. Jason’s only going to get worse.”

Chrissy nods. The look in her eyes tells you that this isn’t something she hasn’t thought about a thousand times already. You shrug and lean back against the metal pull bar beside the top of the slide behind you so that you’re actually facing her completely. You laugh a little. “I need to take some of my own advice.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.. that whole fuck them speech? It was aimed at me too.” you admit, going  quiet to stare down at the cracks in the wood beneath you. Chrissy laughs softly. “So do it.”

“You first.” you deadpan, sticking out your tongue.

“Okay, what if we both do it?”

“Do you think they’d be able to handle both of us just lighting a match and watching everything and everyone who didn't care enough and we no longer care about burn though?” you ask quietly, kicking your feet again as you admit in a quiet whisper, “Because I’ve got so much anger sometimes I can’t sleep.”

“I know what you mean. Mine isn’t… It’s more pain than anger.”

“Pain turns into anger, you know that, right? But the whole numb thing, that comes first most of the time. Or that’s how it worked for me.”

“Yeah.”

Both of you go quiet again and then she looks at you. “What’s it like?”

“Hm?” you glance up at her. 

“Dating Gareth Emerson?”

You laugh softly.

“We’re..” you trail off and lean your head back against the wooden post. “He’s just my friend.”

“But you wish there was more going on… Right?”

You shrug. “A little yes, a little bit I’m too scared to even think about it. I’m a fucking mess, okay? Just like.. Trust me.” 

“You don’t seem that bad.”

“Thank you.” you mumble.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Chrissy is poking the bear because she doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell him. She always sees you two around school. And everybody thinks you’re dating him, especially after the brawl that happened a week or two back between him and Mason Allen. A brawl that Mason Allen hasn’t quite gotten over just yet. The thought reminds her that she was going to warn you to warn Gareth and his friends to watch their backs, so she butts in to say so.

“Hey, you might want to warn Gareth.. And his friends. Mason’s furious because Gareth kicked his butt.”

“Oh he is, huh?” you muse, glancing at her. “Is he planning something?”

“Just says that when he catches him alone, he’s going to get him back.”

You scoff. “Yeah, like hell that’s going to happen. I won’t let it.” you assert.

But really, can you stop it? You weren’t brave enough to stand up for yourself thus creating the mess in the first place. Even as the thought hits you, you know that you’re at least going to try. Whatever it takes. Because you’re not going to let Gareth get dragged into something you should’ve been brave enough to handle on your own.

“I’ll warn him later.” you mumble to yourself. Chrissy circles back to her original question, asking again why you don’t just tell Gareth how you feel. You laugh softly. “You first, sweets. I happen to know Munson would be fuckin thrilled. He’s always watching you.” you give her a slightly warmer grin as you say it.

Chrissy nods and takes a deep breath or two. “It’s not that easy.”

“My point exactly.”

“I thought you were dating Gareth, I mean.. He calls you bunny. And you’re always with him. You’re both always kind of touching each other?” Chrissy points out quietly. You laugh again. “I have not the first clue where Gareth came up with that nickname. I just told him he could call me literally anything but my name because I hate it so much and then he started calling me bunny.” you shrug, laughing again. “Knowing him, it probably has to do with me eating vegetables and fruit. Something off the wall like that.”

“What do you call him?” Chrissy giggles as she asks the question, smiling at you all soft and serene.

“Never to his face and this doesn’t leave us, got it?” you look at her and take a deep breath before bursting into laughter. “Pretty boy. I uh.. Had a real interesting dream a few nights ago when I got a little crazy and raided my mom’s wine and I’m pretty sure I called him daddy a thousand times during that.. But seriously,” you’re staring at your pale pink toenails as you swing your feet back and forth, “I call him meatball most of the time. Because he’s stronger than he looks, meatballs are kind of a comfort food for me and like… I dunno where I was going with that. I called him tiger once and his face went so fucking red, it was the cutest thing…” you double over, laughing at your sap and stupidity. 

You cringe a little. “That was way too much information.”

“No, it’s okay. This is nice. Can we?” she fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater while looking down, “Can we do this again sometime? Can I talk to you and stuff at school?”

You laugh and shrug. You don’t expect her to follow through on the talking at school thing, not even slightly, but you smile and nod. “Yeah. Sure. Why not?” you mumble, wondering to yourself the whole time if you’re going to regret it in the long run.

Something tells you maybe this time you won’t.

You haven’t regretted a single second since you made the decision not to get sucked right back in with the type of people you used to be friends with and be like, to an extent. 

Chrissy grins brightly at you. You manage a slightly smaller bright grin. “Hey, if you ever need somewhere to go, I’m at the end of the street. The big blue house.” you point out your house to her and she nods. “I’ll probably take you up on that a lot.”

– ( jeff’s garage )

The heavy haze hung in the air and Jeff fanned in front of his face a little as he passes the joint to Grant. Grant took a hit and passes it to Eddie.

Eddie nudges Gareth and Gareth blinks.

“Okay, meatball. Focus, idiot.” Jeff laughs out.

Gareth gives him a dirty look and flips him off. “Fuck off, Jeff.”

“What? I can’t call you that but she can? I thought she wasn’t your girl… Meatball.” Jeff scoots himself away from the circle and lays on the cement slab floor laughing his ass off.

“Of all the nicknames. She picks that one.”Gareth shakes his head, laughing even though sometimes, it is a little annoying. But to be fair, you only started calling him meatball when he started calling you bunny.

And now, it’s become a habit.

“Pretty sure she’ll say the same thing, you call her bunny.” Eddie points it out and this prompts the rest of the little circle to glance at Gareth.

Gareth’s face is on fire and he gives Eddie a death glare. “Dickhole.”

“What? I heard you earlier.” Eddie shrugs.

“Of everything you could call her, man.. Bunny? Seriously?” Jeff questions.

“Why bunny?” Grant asks quietly as he fixes his gaze on Gareth, waiting on an answer.

Gareth laughs and shakes his head, taking a hit of the joint before passing it on to Jeff. He exhales and at first, he tries to just shrug it off without answering.

“You know the rule. Spit it out.” Eddie says it so sternly and with such a shit-eating grin at the same time  that they all burst out laughing.  “This is the circle, Gare. No secrets.”

“Fuckers.” Gareth grumbles, irritated. “Fine. If any of you says a word, I swear to Ozzy..” he trails off and grins, kicking his sneakers together as he leans back, propping on his hands to gaze up at the ceiling. “It’s that little nose wrinkle, okay? It’s.. It’s so fucking cute and it reminds me of that rabbit my older sister Sarah had. And she’s always kicking her foot against the desk.”

Jeff is laughing harder, so hard that he takes a hit and it nearly doubles him over because he can’t stop laughing and he inhales and nearly chokes himself down on the smoke in the process. “Say what now?” he looks at Gareth.

Gareth shrugs and cringes as he adds in a quieter tone, “And she’s shorter than me, there’s that. Look, she’s small and cute… Like a rabbit. If you assholes say one word, I’m gonna kick your asses, got it?”

“Okay.”

“Fine.”

“Scout’s dishonor.” Eddie taunts, smirking. Gareth leans out to give him a lazy shove. “Especially not you, asshole.” Gareth warns.

“Aw, he really is in love.”

“I’m not, damn it. I’m not.” Gareth insists, glaring at his friends even though he knows it’s a lie deep down. And even  though it’s been weeks now and she hasn’t proven his original assumption right yet, he’s still living every single second that he knows you with the worry that eventually, the other shoe is going to drop.

Only now, he’s gone and fucked up, truly. He’s too attached now. So when -not if, because he’s convinced that this is too good to be true and any day now, he’ll wake up and it’ll have been a dream or a figment of his imagination, something, the bad thing does happen, it’s going to crush the guy.

The more he tries to fight it off, the deeper he winds up falling. It’s exciting, it’s terrifying and it’s frustrating as hell, especially lately, with the little nicknames and the way he can’t stop himself from touching you all the damn time.

“Just fucking do something, Gare. If you don’t, it’s going to drive you crazy and you will explode.” Jeff’s outburst has Grant and Eddie nodding in agreement. “The tension’s so fucking thick you’re kind of giving us all blue balls, idiot. Any second now,” Eddie wags his finger at Gareth with a smug look on his face, “You will explode.”

“I will not. It’ll be fine. Look, maybe being her friend is enough, man.”

“Bullshit.” Grant coughs but doesn’t bother covering the word as he does it.

“Yeah, he’s full of shit.” Jeff agrees, laughing as he shakes his head. “You’re full of shit.”

“That’s the biggest load of horse shit.” Eddie exclaims.

“Fuck all of you, alright? Why aren’t we talking about Munson making ga-ga eyes at a certain cheerleader, huh?” Gareth smirks when Eddie flips him off and he moves away from the circle, laughing. “Doesn’t feel so fucking great, does it?” he asks, folding his arms.

“Your situation and mine are totally different, shithead.” Eddie answers, going quiet. “Y’know I can’t tell her anything. She’s one of them.”

“And any day now, my girl could be too, idiot.” Gareth points out quietly.

Jeff shakes his head. “If you were any more stubborn you’d be a goddamn brick wall, Emerson. If she was going anywhere, she’d have done it at least the third or fourth day she was here. No… she’s always with you, with us, dumb fucker. Wake up.”

“I can’t with him, I really just can’t. Says all that and calls her his girl. Makes no sense.” Eddie mumbles, shaking his head too.

“You’re blind and an idiot, Emerson. And I mean that with all the care in the world.” Grant muses, taking a sip of a soda he only just remembers that he’d grabbed from Jeff’s kitchen earlier.

“As I said just a second ago, fuck all of you.” Gareth flips off his friends as he stands. “I’ll see you assholes tomorrow. Gotta get home.”

And as he’s leaving, his friends' opinions just won’t get out of his head. No amount of shoving them down will help, either because he’s starting to realize, even now, that they’re all right. Sooner or later -probably sooner, just being your friend isn’t going to be enough. It’s already starting, truth be told.

But the poor guy has not the first clue what to do to move things one way or another.

[deancaskiss]

what if I just? added one more name to my bio? but didn’t make an announcement post about it because I don’t wanna annoy y’all with adding just one more name? even though this name means a lot to me and to my girl and it feels special and fits me well? would that be okay? would anyone see it in my bio and use it? or am I just being too annoying and I just need to shut up? or am I being nervous and I just need to do it because I want to and because it makes me happy and that’s what matters?

[willsimpforanyone]

Hey! Hope you’re having a good day, Can your please do a smutty dom/sub, dom Percy jackson x sub female Zeus!reader where it's an enemies to lovers but readers been being a brat and teasing the hell outa' Percy so he decides to "teach her a lesson" so he takes her to his cabin and they fuck and she has a thing for choking. . . ?

hi hello sorry for taking so long uni is hell and im so tired but apparently i cant focus on revising so im doing this instead ty for being so patient luv u

tis made clear they're both adults like literally i say they're adults is all good

--------------------------------

"What's the matter, Jackson?" I grinned as I landed a bullseye on the target and heard a grunt from next to me. "Not really your speed, it it?" My voice dripped with faux pity.

Percy's shot went wide and I laughed. He rolled his eyes and nocked another arrow. "How old are you? I thought we were adults, not fucking kids." He loosed the arrow and just barely struck the target.

I shrugged, following suit and doing better than he did, if not hitting where I was aiming. "Maybe, but you make it so easy to fuck with you, it's like you're into it." I winked at him.

This kind of banter was common- one of us would be better than the other at something, flaunt their skill unashamedly and piss each other off until one of us left or someone else came in to shut us up. It was a familiar routine; loathe I was to admit it, Percy was better than I was at a fair few things so when I got the upper hand, I relished it.

"Come on, Perce, just give in." I cocked my head to one side, looking up at him. "Sea Daddy didn't give you this skill and I'm up by 6 points, you can't beat me at this."

He barked a laugh. "Sea Daddy? I should strike you down where you stand."

I waited until he nocked his next arrow. About to shoot it, I stood on my tiptoes, as close to his ear as possible. "Is that a promise?"

Percy's arrow flew into the ground, a faint pink staining his cheeks. I backed off, cackling. "Aw, too far?"

He stood frozen for a second. I paused mentally. It wouldn't be the first time I flirted with him, teasing him like this was just one of the weapons in my arsenal- I always made sure not to do anything too bad, just enough to catch him off guard. Maybe today was just a bad day and I'd gone too far.

Instead, Percy lowered his bow to drop it on the ground, stepping over his quiver of arrows to move towards me. There was a wolfish grin on his lips. "Not close enough, princess."

My breath caught in my throat. That was a new one; nicknames were sometimes used, sure, to annoy the other but 'princess' was new. And effective, apparently.

Determined to stand my ground, I stayed still as Percy crossed the short distance between us. He was a good few inches taller than me. I caught myself looking into his eyes and tried to school my face into something resembling superiority.

He smelled really good.

"No retort? Nothing to say, hm?" Percy's tone was slightly condescending and I don't know if it was the proximity, the nickname or the fact that I suddenly realised I had this incredibly attractive man focusing all his attention on me, but I felt a little weak at the knees.

Now is not the time to be discovering kinks, dammit.

"I-I..." I sputtered. "...Princess?"

Smooth.

Percy grinned, tongue just sweeping over his lower lip. "If I knew a little pet name would shut you up, I'd have done this weeks ago."

Well. Shit. Guess I'm going all in, humiliation be damned.

"Kiss me."

Percy blinked. "...what?"

I twisted a hand in the front of his shirt. "You heard me, Jackson." That's right, I still have some words left. "You started this, what are you gonna do about it?"

There was no hesitation. Percy pressed closer to me and slammed his lips on mine, hands coming round my waist and fingers digging into my back. I inhaled sharply, instantly dizzy with the rush of arousal that flooded my system.

Time slowed for a moment, just enough so that all I knew was Percy, Percy and his lips and his hands and his heartbeat hammering against his ribcage.

We broke apart, panting slightly, eyes locked. I was the first to break.

"My place or yours?"

Percy growled something that might have been 'mine' and grabbed my hand, pulling me after him. I stumbled a few times but we made it to the Poseiden cabin; luckily there were very few people around, everyone either in their cabin or busy. No one to see me eagerly following Percy into his cabin and definitely no one to hear him push me up against the door and press his lips to mine again.

My fingers ran through his hair, his hands back on my hips pinning me against the wood. Damn, I forget how strong he is. I tried shifting my position slightly and he merely readjusted his grip, I couldn't even lift away from the door. The knowledge that he was using hardly any effort to keep me still sent a fresh wave of horniness through my brain and I fought to keep a whine from escaping my lungs.

Yeah, I know we fight and tease and try to annoy the fuck out of each other but holy Hades if this guy isn't gorgeous and currently all I can think about.

Percy tugged at my hair, pulling to expose my neck and licked a stripe up my skin. "You okay with this?"

I did my best to nod.

Immediately, he stepped back, letting go of me completely. "No, do better, princess, yes or no?"

Gorgeous and respectful of consent, the gods really put effort into making this one.

I swallowed, forcing my brain to make coherent words. "Yes, yes, I am very okay with this, get back here."

Percy smirked. "So demanding." He went to sit on his bunk, leaning back on his hands and tilting his head to the side. "If you want it, you have to come over here."

Bitch, thinks he's in control. He's right, but I didn't have to give in so easily. I steadied myself.

"Oh, you think I'm that easy? We'll see."

I kept my eyes on him, shrugging my jacket off my shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Kicking off my shoes was hardly sexy, but I kept going, getting a little closer to the bed. I thanked everything possible that I was wearing a dress, the soft material settling just below mid thigh. The shorts I wore under them were quickly gone, and I was left in a dress, underwear and a bra.

Percy's chest was rising a little heavier with each item of clothing I rid myself of and I knew just how to get a little of my power back. I moved to stand right in front of him and lifted the back of my dress. I winked and pulled my underwear off, one leg at a time, until they were pooled on the floor. To no one's surprise, there was a wet patch in the middle.

Percy groaned, hands fisting in the sheets. I stood in between his open legs, not touching but so, so close.

"Aw, you liked my little show, Jackson?" I giggled. "Gods, I bet you're desperate to see under here-" I played with the hem of my dress. "-am I right?"

In a flash, Percy stood, hefted me up and threw me on his bed. I bounced on my back, a breathless laugh punched out of me. Grabbing my thighs, he pulled me to the edge of the bed and flipped up my dress.

"Such a fucking brat." Percy's voice was low and slightly gravelly, fingers pressing into the flesh of my legs. I squeaked at the sudden movements and the slight embarrassment of being exposed so abruptly.

"Maybe this will teach you a lesson." He dove in between my thighs, licking a stripe up my pussy, moaning at the taste. I choked as he ate me out with fervour, keeping my legs apart easily even as I fought to close them around his head.

Percy's face was soaked, tongue driving me insane as it swirled over my clit. Two of his fingers pushed inside me and I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep from yelling. I felt him grin against me, not moving his fingers, just keeping them insider my pussy and laving his tongue over my folds.

"P-Percy, fuck-!" I reached down to grasp his hair in my hands.

He pressed a kiss to my clit, looking up at me with a smug smile on his face. "What is it, princess? A little needy?" I somehow felt myself get even wetter, and Percy noticed. "Oh, you like being called 'princess', hm? Cute, but you're gonna have to work for me to do anything else, baby."

I groaned in arousal and annoyance. "Wh-what do you want, b-bastard?"

Percy tutted, and withdrew his fingers. "Nope, c'mere." He stood and sat on the bed, reaching over and dragging me until I sat straddling his lap, bare pussy just touching his jeans. I clutched at his shoulders as he inserted his fingers into me again.

"Now, if you want to be fucked properly, you're going to fuck yourself on my fingers until you come and I'm not going to help, okay, princess?"

Oh, a cruel, cruel, insanely hot man. Damn my power, damn everything in me that wanted to push back at him, I wanted to come and an infuriating part of me wanted to please him. Fuck.

My cheeks were bright red, my dress covering the obscene sight of Percy's hand wet and his fingers inside my pussy, but slowly, slowly, I lifted myself a few inches and sat back down. Fuck, his fingers were so long. I repeated my action, a little stronger. A little faster, a little more, until I was riding his fingers and he was kissing me and despite his former promise he was pumping his hand and using his thumb to press circles into my clit.

I was so worked up it didn't take long for my orgasm to rip through me. I let out a choked sound and Percy used his other hand to press over my mouth to muffle my noises. "Fuck, you sound so pretty when you come, princess, but we gotta be quiet, okay?" My hips were still stuttering against his hand, but I nodded.

The flash of a thought shot through my orgasm-addled mind. I released one of Percy's shoulders and touched his hand across my mouth. Gently, I guided it to just rest on my neck, the weight at once comforting and dizzyingly arousing.

"This okay?"

He stared at my neck, at his hand reaching from one side to the other and very carefully he squeezed his fingers. My eyes rolled back in my head. "Shit, yes, very okay, princess." He gently withdrew his fingers from my pussy and brought them up to his mouth. He licked my come off his hand, groaning at the taste. "Fuck, that was so hot, you did so good, my good little princess, you want me to fuck you now?"

He was so deperate for me, it gave me a rush of power to have him like this even if I'd just ridden his hand because he asked.

"Yes, fuck, please fuck me, Percy."

He moved me off his lap like I was delicate, something he'd break if he wasn't careful, and stripped as quickly as possible. His cock slapped against his stomach and I felt my mouth water. Still a little shaky, I got up on my knees and pulled at his hips until he was facing me. I reached out and took his cock in my hand, licking at the tip.

Percy heaved a breath. "Oh, princess, as much as I'd love to have you suck me off, if I don't get inside you in the next minute I might actually combust."

I giggled. "Well, we wouldn't want that."

I watched him fish a condom out from the drawer by his bed and bit my lip as I watched him slide it on and jerk himself a few times. "Alright, baby, how do you wanna do this?"

Laying back against the pillows, I slipped off the straps of my dress. Percy got the message pretty quickly.

In a second, he was hovering over me, pulling the top of my dress down. He reached round to my back and unclasped my bra, throwing it somewhere in the room. He bent his neck and nipped little red marks over my chest, licking over my pebbling nipples and I inhaled sharply. "I've been good, haven't I?"

Percy nodded. "So good for me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Then fuck me like you hate me."

He smirked, reaching down a hand to guide his cock to push into me inch by inch. "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

I barely had any time to adjust to him when he started pounding into me, hips pistoning and abs clenching. Moans worked their way between my lips despite my best efforts, unable to be silent at the delicious friction he ws giving me.

"So hard to be quiet, isn't it?" Percy panted into my ear. "Poor thing, let me help with that."

Not stopping his movements, he sat back on his heels, pulling my hips up to him and smoothing one hand down my body to rest heavy on my throat. My tits bounced as he thrusted hard into me, my hands clutching at the sheets, the pillows, his arm, the hand that promised to just slightly cut off bloodflow to my head.

My vision went slightly fuzzy, my head deliciously dizzy and all I could do was lie there and take it, take his cock hammering into my pussy and feel the build up of my second orgasm.

"Sh-shit, princess, you feel so fucking good, I'm gonna- I'm gonna come, fuck!" Percy hissed through his teeth. "Touch yourself for me, that's it, such a good girl, fuck."

I rubbed my clit harshly with as much focus as I could, feeling myself come from my toes, rolling up through my body and exploding in my lower stomach. Percy's lip was swollen and red from where he'd been biting it and I felt his hips stutter, flooding the condom as he came.

There was a minute of quiet, both of us recovering, breathing evening out. I squeezed my eyes shut against the overstimulation as Percy pulled out, shushing me gently. There was a moment where he removed the condom where I truly thought he was just going to leave and my heart squeezed painfully, but he returned almost immediately.

"Hey, sit up, baby, that's it." He helped me up to sit on his bed, summoning some water and pouring it in a cup he'd found. He handed it to me. "Drink at least half of that, please. I'm gonna get some new clothes, okay?" Pressing a kiss to my head, he wandered about the cabin gathering sweatpants and t-shirts for us.

Obediently, I swallowed almost all the water, waiting sleepily for him to offer me his clothes.

Percy slipped on some clothes, helping me stand and after getting my permission, slipped off my dress and helped me put on one of his camp t-shirts and a pair of warm sweatpants.

"Better?" He whispered, maintaining the soft atmosphere we'd managed to cultivate.

I nodded. "Mm, yeah, thank you."

He blushed, wrapping me in his arms. "No problem, princess."

---------------------------------

ty for requesting, i hope you liked!!

[chiliyue-archived]

Praising you

Includes; Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, Ranpo, Kunikida, Fyodor

Tags; SMUT/NSFW, fem!reader. Oral(giving), praise(ofc), fingering, rough sex, biting, teasing, nicknames, just filth

-

Praise from DAZAI is always littered with some degrading words, coos reaching the shell of your ear as he torments you with pleasure and rough touches. But how can he stop himself? Not when you're hopelessly beneath him, crimson painting your features and lips glistening in your own drool. 'Bella~ it was like your cunt was mine to fuck alone. We fit just like a puzzle.' He would whisper, soaking in your sounds as his dick hits a particular spot that made you see stars. A sly smile fits itself on his lips as he starts to nibble along your collarbone. 'When you squeeze me like that, it feels you want me to stay inside you forever, wouldn't you like that, hm? I'm not opposed to the idea. You hug me so warm.' He adores how you shyly hide your face from his, your body betraying you as you habitually lock your arms around his shoulders; and he doesn't ignore the way your thighs clamp around waist, only inviting him deeper into the comforts of your hole.

" My Belladonna, don't shy away now. My, you sound so heavenly mewling and crying for my attention. Ah- but you feel so good around me, taking me so well."

He's similar to Dazai, in which he can be really mean, but above all he prioritizes your own pleasure before his own- and in doing so makes you know just how good you make him feel. CHŪYA would hold the back of your head with gentle but firm fingers, guiding you a pace he only knew the rhythm to. Even as his dick hit the back of your throat and made your chest burn for oxygen, you still took it like the 'good doll' you were. 'Feels so good, baby. Keep going,' He would pant to you. His words were kind compared to his pace or how harshly your nose brushed against his plevis. But Chūya's fingers carded through your hair, pulling aside the stray strands and even wipes away the tears that start to prick the corners of your eyes. 'I'm almost done, Doll. Fuck- you take me so well.' As he approaches closer to his climax, more mumbles of praise would drip from his voice. Even as you sputter and gag on his dick does his praise only tenfold. During the aftercare, he is just as soft, letting you know just how well you did.

" Made me feel so good Doll. So pretty with my dick in your throat. God- I swear I could stay like this for hours. Now c'here, let me make you feel good too."

When you clamp tightly around his cock, ATSUSHI'S brain goes completely blank, he wasn't even aware that his mouth was running as he lost himself in the pleasure. His fingers are interlace with his as he habitually tells you just how much he loves you. 'You feel amazing, y/n. So g-good.' He would cry, eyes struggling to keep eye contact with you. His eyes squeezing shut as you clamped your thighs around his waist, in part with how well his dick kissed your cervix. You were practically seeing stars at that point, back arching prettily for him. Atsushi bit down on his lower lip, his eyes flickering down to where the both of you were connected, that alone shot a wave arousal down his spine. ' You're so pretty, too beautiful for me. I don't deserve you.' His lips came crashing to you own, swallowing your sweet sounds as his hips exceeded a faster tempo. He was becoming a shaky mess by the second, and he couldn't stop himself from tugging and nibbling on your saccharin lips, swollen from his vehement kisses.

" I'm so close- please a little more. I c-cant help myself, your doing so good and s-so warm. You're so pretty, god- what did I do deserve you?"

Is unforgiving in the way he teases you, his praises coming in between coos. Though one things RANPO loves to express is how pretty you look when you're all dolled up for him. His fingers were kneading roughly against your skin, your lacy garments becoming shredded within the pads of his fingers. 'I must say darling, you look so pretty like this.' His vacant hand wasted no time as finding your cilt, teasing the folds tantalizingly as you whimpered. It wasnt long until they found the comforts of your hole, knuckles deep into your mushy walls. ' You're sucking me right me in, so warm~' He mused as his fingers sloppy toyed with you. His lips start to suckle at your chest, tugging and pulling at the skin. He relished the way you trembled as his lithe fingers brushed that sweet special spot he knew you struggled to reach on your own. 'Keep making those lovely sounds, so lewd and pretty at the same.' He chuckled as you clenched around his fingers. His lips resumed it torment on your exposed skin, leaving pretty bruises that compliment you greatly.

" Don't look away embarrassed, you look heavenly like this. Look at you, sucking my finger right into your needy cunt, my dear. I find myself becoming addicted with how well you take me and the look on your face is adorable too~!"

Yes. KUNIKIDA will make sure you feel loved at every moment possible, endless praises leaving his lips that make you blush. Even as he thrust into you, his voice carries words that make butterflies dance in your stomach. 'You're taking me so well, good girl.' He would murmur against your lips sensually, hands brushing loose strands from your eyes. His pace is gentle, considerate to your pleasure while hes being attentive to anything may cause discomfort. He would smile against your lips when you start to release sweet whines and moans, urging him to continue. His heavy breaths are swallowed as he goes to press a fervent kiss to your lips, one of his hands trailing down to rub against your nerves; you tremble at the new pleasure that spikes through your bones. ' You sound and feel good like this,' He mutters, followed by a sharp groan as you clenched tightly around him. He adored seeing your half-lidded eyes, mouth gaped as whimpers fell from you- even more so at the way you reached out to him yearning for his attention. No matter, Kunikida will fulfill all your desires and all the while making sure you know how good you perform.

" You squeeze me so well, you're so good for me. I promise I'm gonna make you feel good too, fill you right up. Ah- good girl- just like that."

His praises are rare and in-between. In most instances, you gasp when those words drip from his voice- and he's quite amused at the surprised expression that comes to your features when he does so. And sometimes it was hard to tell whether what FYODOR was saying was genuine or merely a means of painting your face red; regardless the intention, it does wonders for your arousal. Fyodor, as in every other endeavor he partakes in, is calculated. He praises you when you reach your climax, only furthering the numbing of your mind and leaving in you a hazy state as his hips continue to slap into you without much remorse. Tears start to prick at the corners of your eyes whilst your lover adds to the collection of bites scattered around your bare body. 'You look quite adorable crying. Does my dick feel that good, hm?' He hums against your blemished skin, teeth grazing over your bare collarbone. You can only babble in response, hands weakly pawing st his skin. 'You're like a pretty little mouse, in need of attention.' He mused. His actions never once show you a trace of mercy, edging you closer to another orgasm... and another.

" My little mouse never fails to please me. Such a good pet you are, obedient and well-behaved. Ah look at the mess you've made, are my words arousing you?"

[trynafindabbyyz]

titty sucking with abby

an: hii this is my first post so i hope you guys enjoy that all😘😘 (she looks so fucking sexy in this gif) also sorry for the end low key got tired 😁

“I have nothing to wear!” I say frantically

“Jesus christ” Abby mumbles under her breath “Wear that pretty dress that you bought mama.”

My stomach getting butterflies from the nickname and heading to the bathroom to try to dress on and show Abby. Putting on the dress, thinking to myself “do I have any bras left” then quickly remembered it was laundry day tomorrow.

“oh fuck” I mumbled to myself

“Looks like its gonna be a free the tits kinda night” I said to myself in the mirror

As I walk back into the room I tease the blonde and decide to face her confidently.

“woah woah woah. I like the no bra thing but I think I only get to see these beautiful things inside and out” she says as she walks up to me with long strides.

“Oh will you shut up its laundry day remember” I say defensive

“Mhm” Abby says not even looking in my eyes but at my hard nipples

“Hey um how many more minutes we got until we have to go” She says with a shy smirk

“You mean go to the restaurant where you specifically made reservations” I say

“Yeah yeah what ten minutes okay” Abby says impatient

I cant even get a word out when she pulls the top of my dress to release my tits and my hard nipples pointing at her.

I gasp suprised

“ABBY”

She kisses my collarbone and neck with soft kisses and praising me with her words.

“I’ll make you feel so good baby dont worry”

“ you want me to start sucking these pretty nipples?”

She looks up at me as she starts licking and teasing my nipple

“Oh fuck Abby yes” I moan quit

“Mhm moan my name mama” Abby says with her mouth still on my nipple

She latches onto it and sucks it like her life depends on it.

She then pulls away with no hesitation and pulls my top back on

“Wait wait what are you doing!” I exclaimed with neediness in my voice while she backs up

“Shh its okay we cant be late baby.”

“Just wait for tonight” She whispers into my eyes with a devil like look on her face

“Alright lets go baby” she says as she smacks my ass on the way out.

[whlfchn]

kitten ~ lee know

pairing: lee know x fem!reader

word count: 3.8k

rating: 18+!!!

genre: smut, consensual hate sex, dom!lee know

synopsis: you two never got along and would always push each others buttons which normally would drive one another mad with rage... so why cant you simply walk away this time? why do you hate each other almost as much as you want each other?

warnings: degradation, words like whore and slut are used, some nipple play, oral (fem! and male! receiving), rough sex, slight spanking, choking, very little bondage, orgasm denial, mature language, hate sex

authors note: this is my first attempt at writing hate sex! I usually write fluffy smut, but I wanted to challenge myself and write some rough sex that still had some good backstory. I might make this into a friends with benefit series or enemies to lovers in the future, but im not sure yet haha

!my content is not suitable for minors! 18+ only! by reading more you consent to being 18+ and to nsfw content and take all responsibility!

Your warm body is leaning on the cold backyard railing as your thoughts are drowned out by the loud music. Finding yourself fading into the background as you sit back and observe. Tonight you found yourself getting dragged into attending a stupid college party.

You were never one to attend such events, but your best friend was a socialite and finally managed to drag you away from your solitude and to a party. 

You were polar opposites. She was funny, beautiful, positive, and got along with everyone. Not to be cocky, but you were very good looking as well. On the other hand you weren't as social and liked to keep to yourself. Your main focus was school and your career. Not finding the time and energy for things that didn't contribute to your needs.

You were a junior in college. A dance major to be exact. At a very young age you learned the hardships of life and didn't feel like you fit in anywhere. It wasn't until one day that you went with your family to this annual festival you heard so much about. There were many attractions, but the dance performances are what altered your life. You had never seen something as breathtaking as what you witnessed that day. The way that each movement melted into each other. Graceful yet powerful movements to each beat. The way that each dancer interpreted the song differently and how they told a story with their bodies. At that very young age, you saw those performances and knew who and what you wanted to be.

You met your best friend in middle school. You were both attending the same school and dance classes. Fate you would say. She came at a time of need. A lot of people had let you down, but no matter your differences she never gave up on you and has always been there for you. She was your one and only true friend even after all these years.

Unluckily for you, she was just as stubborn as you could be and managed to drag you to a party tonight. You liked to have fun from time to time, but midterms were coming up so you've been at your dorm studying and at the dance studio non stop. It took all day for your best friend to convince you to tag along.

So here you were, alone on the backyard porch watching your best friend take shot after shot having the time of her life. You had a few drinks earlier in the night and were tipsy but nowhere near drunk. 

Leaning against the railing you dig into your purse and pull out your box of cigarettes. Taking one out and putting the tip in your mouth.

“Smoking is a terrible habit for a dancer kitten.”

“Fuck off and leave me alone,” you muttered while digging into your purse to find your lighter.

You knew that voice and nickname all too well. It was none other than the “legendary” Lee Know. The senior that everyone talked about. There was no denying he was an amazing dancer and sculpted by the gods, but it was his personality you found to be quite sour.

A hand and lighter came into your view. Too tired to find your own lighter you inhale and allow him to light it for you. Nicotine and smoke soon fill your lungs. As you take the cigarette out of your mouth smoke slowly slips from your lips. 

Out of the corner of your eye you see him light his own cigarette.

“I thought smoking was a terrible habit for dancers?”

“It is.”

You scoff at his short and blunt response. You two never got along. Both fueled by rage from each other's presence. 

He was in a dance crew that consisted of a couple of your classmates. Stray Kids is what they called themselves. Freshman and sophomore year you had heard a lot about him from the girls in school. Mostly about his visuals and bad boy reputation, but that never intrigued you. It was his dancing that drew you in. You first laid your eyes on him at your freshman school orientation. All the departments had performances lined up for the incoming freshmen. The dance department had lots of performances, but he stood out from the rest. Everyone was amazed by his looks, but for you it was the way he moved, the way he hit every beat, and the way he lost himself to the music.

Your best friend was friends with what felt like the whole world and often dragged you to hang out with them. On this particular day it was the beginning of your junior year and you were told by your bestie that you would be hanging out with the boys in your major. Those boys were a part of the group called Stray Kids. You also heard Lee Know would be tagging along. This excited you since you would finally be able to meet the man you heard so much about and admired the first two years of college. Although you didn't know him personally you looked up to him as he was hands down one of the best dancers you laid your eyes on. But as the saying goes, never meet your heroes! 

All the boys seemed cool and chill, except for the man, the myth and the legend Lee Know. He was cold and cocky from day one and picked on you any chance he got. You had no clue what you did to get on this man's bad side, but the feeling of disappointment and anger fueled you anytime you laid your eyes on him. Reminding you that solitude was all you ever needed. With the exception of your best friend of course.

“You look… different,” he says, eyes trailing up and down your frame. Body covered in a short black dress that complimented your shape.

You choose to ignore him and take more drags from your cigarette.

“Looks like your friend is drunk as fuck,”

“So are yours,” you say, looking over to his friend group that are the loudest in the party.

He laughs and leans on his side to face you. You sigh and do the same to finally get a good look at the man disturbing your peace.

Your eyes scan him up and down. There was no denying this man was heaven sent. He was extremely good looking. It made you feel sick how someone could be so hot, but such a pain in the ass. He was wearing all black. Black cargos that adorned his thick thighs nicely with a black leather belt holding them up. A black shirt tucked in with a zipper in the middle going all the way down. Open halfway showing part of his chest and drawing attention to the black choker he had on.

“Like what you see kitten?”

“Fuck you”

“Right now?, In front of all these people?” he says, smirking and lifting a brow cockily.

“Look kitten, thanks for the offer, but I'm not that bored and you're not that lucky,” he chuckles, taking another drag from his cigarette.

All you could do was look at him dumbfounded and laugh at the words that just left his mouth. 

“Tch… as if I would offer you such a great time. Trust me, you can't handle me,” you say, smirking back at the man that looks taken aback by what you said.

Not one word is said back. You take this as your cue to finally get away from him and be on your way now that you're done with your cigarette and would like some peace before this ends in another huge argument if continued. You start walking away, but you barely make it a few steps before he speaks up.

“I can handle you,” he says, voice low, barely audible.

You stop in your tracks, you slowly turn around and raise your eyebrow.

“You? Handling me? Well from what I hear, you wouldn't be any good at it and I have standards,” you chuckle in disbelief.

He quickly flicks his cigarette to the ground and stomps on it before making his way to you. Stopping only inches away from you. He grabs your face aggressively and looks into your eyes with such rage and a dark aura surrounding him. Tensions rising, air getting denser, and your body growing hotter by the second. He slowly brings his mouth next to your ear. 

“You say a lot of mean things kitten. Why don't we put that pretty mouth of yours to better use?,” he whispers.

Fuck it. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, the warmth from the cigarette, or honestly how long it's been since you’ve had sex. But maybe fucking the guy that hates you as much as you hate him will satisfy you both. Using him for your sexual pleasure didn't sound so bad.

“If you insist” 

“What?,” he says, eyes widening in disbelief.

You get out of his grasp and turn around and walk towards the door on the porch that leads into the house. Hand hovering over the doorknob as you turn around and find him in the same spot staring at you.

“Are you coming or not? I can always ask that hot friend of yours. Chan was his name right? He probably knows how to satisfy a girl better than you ever have” you say, acting all innocent. You could swear his eyes turned even darker as he finally started moving in your direction. 

You giggle at how easy it was to get him riled up. Quickly turning the doorknob and entering the house, heading upstairs. Footsteps following closely behind you. As you reach the second floor you slow down and look around trying to find which room you should pick.

“This room,” he says, turning the handle and entering with such ease. Flipping on the switch as you follow behind.

The light illuminates the wide, almost empty space. A king sized bed centered with a couch on the opposite wall. One dresser and one desk adorning small details. Balcony doors on the opposite end of the room.

Lee Know walked straight to the desk grabbing a bottle of alcohol, two cups, and started pouring drinks. You close and lock the door behind you and walk in his direction.

“Stealing alcohol? Are you always such an inconsiderate asshole? I don’t even know whose house we are in,” you say, reaching the desk and leaning against it, crossing your arms watching his every movement. He slides a glass of alcohol over to you and brings his own up to his pink lips taking a long sip staring into your eyes from above the rim.

“No need to be such a brat. Just shut up and drink. I know the owners,” he scoffs, taking another big sip, mimicking your position, and leaning against the desk only inches away from you. You take the glass he slid over and take a sip. Feeling the much needed warmth and burning down your throat.

“And who would that be?,” you say, taking another sip.

“My parents,” he says casually, causing you mid-sip to choke and start coughing, taken aback by his blunt response and revelation.

“Already choking kitten? We haven't even started”

Fed up with his little comments, you quickly chug the rest of your drink forgetting about the revelation that this was his house and slam the cup on the table before looking at him with such irritation.

“Not even fucking close, but why don't you come over here and make me? Or I'll just call Chan over and let him handle what you never could”

His eyes widened and mouth twitched in rage. In a split second he slammed his own cup down on the table and next thing you know his lips are on yours. His hands roughly grab at your ass as yours quickly find their way to his hair. Nails digging into his hair and pulling on his locks. 

Kissing hard, teeth clicking, tongues rolling over each other and fighting for dominance. You break the kiss and bite his bottom lip tugging on it harshly, almost breaking the flesh. He crushes his lips back on yours in an instant and harshly grabs both thighs and lifts you onto the desk in front of him.

One hand harshly landing on your neck choking you in just the right spot while the other lands on your inner thigh shoving it further open. The cold breeze felt on your now wet panties that were on full display. Dress riding up, legs wide open, all for the man you hate but want to fulfill all your fantasies.

“Tch, little fucking slut, letting me see you like this, so desperate for my touch.” he says, hand tightening on your neck as the other goes to grab your hair harshly making you look up at him in the eyes. 

You laugh and bite your lip staring right back at him.

“You're all bark and no bite”

“Trust me kitten, I know how to bite, but the question is can you handle it?”

“Shut the fuck up and fuck me already” you say, growing even more frustrated, just wanting release.

You thought his stare couldn't grow any darker but god were you wrong. He quickly takes his hands out of your hair and off your neck and grabs you roughly by the thighs as your hands go on his shoulder and he walks you over to the bed and then throws you on it.

Now on your back leaning up on your arms as your legs are spread open for the man in front of you. He slowly takes off his belt and sets it down next to your leg. He then proceeds to slowly zip down his shirt revealing abs and a hot scar you didn't know he had. Hands going to his zipper but stopping in its tracks when he looks at you and tilts his head.

“Be a good girl and take off your clothes right now kitten,” he says coldly.

“Why don't you come over here and make me?” 

He quickly hovers over you grabbing you by the face, fingers tracing your swollen lips harshly.

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god,” he mutters.

“Or what? What are you going to do? Don't threaten me with a good time,”

“You're in trouble now,” he says before grabbing the bottom of your dress and raking it up your body with so much force you swore it ripped before he flung it across the room leaving you in your lace set.

“Look at you all dolled up. Such a fucking whore. Just waiting for someone to fuck you senseless so you can shut that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” he says cupping your wet cunt. A moan leaving your mouth instantly.

He starts kissing and biting on your neck marking you up. Leaving sloppy kisses all the way down to your breasts. Kissing and sucking your hardened nipples through the thin material of your lace bra. Hands slipping under your back as you lift yourself and it's off in no time. His tongue nipping and biting your nipple as the other hand twists and squeezes on the other causing intoxicating pain that you wanted more of. It hurt so bad, but felt so good. Moans leaving your lips as he starts to divert his attention further downwards to your throbbing cunt.

Teeth pulling down the lacy material leaving you completely bare. You barely have time to think as fingers are buried inside of you. 

“Fuck.”

He starts pumping in and out curving his fingers filling you up. His tongue soon meets your clit, flicking the sensitive flesh rapidly. His other hand is making its way to your throat and squeezing tightly. He nibbles on your flesh between licks leaving you a cursing and moaning mess. Lee Know going at a brutal pace as his hand is tight on your throat making you feel light headed and dizzy. Drunk off this feeling alone. Chasing your release you grab his hair and tug it harshly bringing him even closer to your core as the other hand cups his own hand on your throat trying to tighten it even more if it was possible. 

“ri-right there, fu-fuck,” 

As you are about to become undone the pace slows down and he shifts off of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“Such a filthy slut thinking it would be that easy. You only cum when I tell you too,” he rasps while getting off the bed and quickly taking off his pants and boxers. His hard glistening length bouncing up. Leaving him completely bare as he grabs his black leather belt hovering over you shoving fingers in your mouth. You quickly suck on them and lick them teasing him as he bites his lips in satisfaction. You bite on his fingers harshly getting him out of his trance. Causing him to hiss in pain and grab you by the face again.

“Be a good little slut and get on your knees.”

He lets go of your face and you quickly get on all fours. Face down, back arched, ass up. In  a quick second he twists both of your arms behind your back. Quickly tying them with his belt. Your legs falter a bit not having your arms to hold you up.

“Since you want to be in charge and get all grabby without permission, how about we do it like this instead?” he asks while his hands knead your ass, spreading them wider, and teasing you.

“I want you inside of me… now,” you whine.

“Since you asked so nicely,” 

His tip pokes your entrance, slowly burying his hard length inside of you. So long and thick it's almost unbearable.

“Fuck,” he moans, digging his fingers into your waist. 

“So fucking tight.” he says, hand smacking your ass with so much force. Hissing from the pain as he starts slamming his hips into you. His hard length massages your inner walls. Sounds of smacking flesh and moans bouncing off the wide almost empty room. 

Pounding into you at a merciless rhythm. Face being pounded into the mattress as his hips strike your ass at a brutal pace. Skin heating up and breath hitching as he fucks you into oblivion. Only thinking of the way he fills you up so well. 

A fire filling your abdomen and nerves on fire. You feel yourself losing composure.

“ju-just like th-that. Harder… I-Im close,” you practically scream out.

“fu-fuck. you wanna cum kitten? you wanna cum on my fat cock? such a fucking whore? cumming on the cock of a man she hates? cum on me kitten,”

Your muscles tense, walls fluttering around his cock, as you bite on the bed sheets to suppress your loud moans as you climax. 

Over stimulating your swollen cunt as he still fucks into you frantically. One hand lifting off your waist and going to your wrists undoing the belt and setting your arms free. The same hand grabbing a fistful of your hair and lifting your back flush with his as his hips don't stop rocking into you. 

“Turn around for me. I want you to see my face while I fuck you senseless so that next time you let some one fuck you, you’ll never forget that the man you hate so fucking much is the only one that can fuck you this good. And so I can see how good im making you feel so every time you open that loud fucking mouth of yours and talk back I’ll remember just how undone I can get you.” 

He lets go of your hair and pulls out of your swollen cunt. Still in a daze you turn around and lay down on your back, legs wide open for him. Hovering over you he slams himself back into you. Moaning and grunting at the pleasurable pain. One hand grabs you by the throat as the other holds onto your waist.

Hips snapping and his hard length quickly hit all those sweet spots. Making you flutter against him causing breathy moans and grunts to leave his mouth. 

“sl-slut. letting me fuck you like this. le-letting me ruin you. gonna cum? on my cock? li-like a good little slut?”

Just with those words alone it drives you over the edge. Mouthwatering, intoxicating, and numbing clouds of pleasure take over and you become undone once again on his cock. 

“What a good little slut. Cumming just for me.”

“Fuck you”

He laughs still pounding into you. 

“Sounds like you might actually hate me, kitten. How about you show me how much you really do hate me.”

“Slap me”

Taken aback by his request and the over stimulation on your swollen cunt all you do is bite your lip and look at the man with confusion evident on your face

“I said… hit me kitten.”

Silence.

“Tch. What are you scared of? I knew you were boring. I should of fucked your best friend inste..” sentence interrupted by the brute force of your hand on his cheek.

“fu-fuck you.” he moans loudly, clearly turned on. Breathing loudly as his thrusts get sloppy.

He quickly takes himself out of your cunt and stays on his knees moving to hover his length over your face and frame.

“Fuck kitten. Looks like there really is more to you then you let on huh? Now put those pretty lips of yours to better use like you promised, yeah?”

You lift yourself up as much as you can with his body still entrapping you in. Licking his tip and slowly starting to suck before quickly picking up the pace. Making eye contact as saliva starts running down your chin. His hand coming up and holding the back of your head guiding you as he bucks his hips. His breathing getting even heavier as he brings up his other hand holding your head still as he fucks your mouth. Thrusting his hips at a fast pace. His long length hitting the back of your throat. Choking and eyes watering as you give him what he wants. Getting turned on all over again at how much he's enjoying your warm wet mouth around his length. 

His hips shake as he finishes in your mouth. Swallowing every single drop.

“Fuck kitten. Might have to do this again. Only way I can get you to be quiet.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” you say as you clean yourself up. You get changed leaving without another word not wanting to look at him any longer. 

You weren't sure what would happen next, but two things you’re sure of is that you still hate him and wouldn't mind him fucking the shit out of you again.

disclaimer: my writing is intended for entertainment and does not represent any real person! the names are used for purely fictional purposes!

please reblog and leave a like! feedback is greatly appreciated and it motivates me to write more! I read it all and am so thankful for each of you!

~ masterlist ~

[jayceluvsu]

Destination

MINORS DNI

Raghhh my first real post !!(srry if its bad lol)

Dom! Alhaitham x fem!Reader smut<3

content warning: public, nicknames, sp4nking, oral, angry sex, sum dirty talk, squ1rting

NSFW UNDER CUT

You and your boyfriend, Alhaitham, were taking a luxury train together studying while listening to music with his headphones. His hand placed between the gap of you two sitting close together on the train while you scroll on your phone. Alhaitham calls out your name trying to grab your attention but your music silenced your surroundings not noticing him. He grows slightly annoyed slowly placing his hand on your thigh gently tracing circular motions for your attention but you wouldn't look back glued to your phone and the blasting music in your headphones. He scoffs before moving the part of the headphone aside as he sits closer his mouth next to your ear in a whisper.

"Y/n. I've been calling you." His demeanor was cold and annoyed by how many times he had to call your name to get your attention. You shook him off looking back at your phone which fueled his irritation. He grabs tightly to your waist sitting closely together his eyes narrowed in frustration taking the headphones away from you setting it aside which now caught your attention.

"What do you want?" You move your head to face him meeting a striking stare in his eyes. He scoffs before gripping tightly on your wrist leading you to the train's bathroom his other hand clenched a bit before slamming the door behind you and him. "I think I wasn't clear enough about you ignoring me. A punishment should keep you obedient..." His hand runs down your back under your clothes harshly stroking it before gripping tightly on your ass while his face remained a cold frown his grip possessive and rough undressing the back of you. Your breath hitches feeling his tight grip as you try not to make a squeak inside the luxury train's bathroom.

"Alhaitham we're in a train you c-cant...Smack!" You feel his hand smack your ass with a sharp pain causing shivers down your spine instinctively bitting your bottom lip to silence your groan. "Exactly. So shut your cute little mouth for me while I punish your ass." He proceeds to spank you deliberately and harshly making red hand marks you then accidentally slip out a groan of pain and pleasure. he smirks at you hearing your small groan his palm slapping your ass even harder than the last one.

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet? Does the naughty girl want me to shut her up myself?" He grabs a handful of your hair tightly making you fall on your knees his other unclothing his bottoms. He grins looking down at your head leveled to his throbbing cock as you weakly plea for his mercy "Wait please- I'm sorry- forgive me." He pulls your head closer as you submissively open your mouth wide for him your breath growing unsteady. You were now sucking his thick length worshipping his hips making muffled moans each time he pulled your head closer without any warning.

"What happened to that smart ass act of yours? Does my naughty girl secretly like her mouth getting fucked by my cock? Come on now, use your words." You continue to make muffled noises desperately slurping his cock being laid on your knees for him. He grinds his hips on your mouth thrusting harshly his hand still clenching your hair. "You like sucking on it huh you little whore? Fuck- of course you do." He clenches his teeth in a cold grin seeing you beneath him like this as he grunts pushing even further to your mouth. His body tenses up shutting his eyes squirting puddles of pleasure inside your mouth groaning.

You pull your head away your mouth and cheeks covered in his sticky cum. You get a taste of him licking your lips and whipping the cream off your face putting your clothes back on properly. He wipes off the beads of sweat on his forehead panting. You hear the intercom turn on the train stopped, you have now reached your destination.

[spicypopcornfromhell]

IF I GET NERFED FOR BEING TRANSFEM MY DISCORD IS POPCORNFROMHELL (mutuals only) if not ask first

This blog is safe for systems and/or otherkin. Yall are valid idc what the feds say fuck em neopronouns are also fucking dope. Idc what you look like your hot and if you see this you get one (1) kiss and one(1)headpats. Also im like trans now. It took me 18 yrs but i figured it out

This blog is also pro therian(idk if spelling is correct)

If i say no animals yalls are excluded welcome to the blog

2024 jan 8th( i think)

I has a discord if mutuals wan it ig

Thanks for making me realise, a list of contributors:

Other trans ppl

Femboys

Furrys

Irl cis women ik

Egg irl

Traaaaaaa

Funny kink list( it dosent apply to you so if ur not into it I understand lol, a good example is my piss kink. If you aren't into that kink, I would avoid it whenever I talk to/reference you. Thus rather focusing on what your into if it fits my criteria)

Hell you dont even have to be horny here, this space exists as my "I'm a adult and interested in my own sex life" blog.

Last edit 2023dec

So I reblog alot of porn or written thoughts and sometimes memes. However it is like a cursed pendulum it changes at random the ratio I post and what I post. Today it has just been hentai. Tomorrow it might me horny thoughts of myself or other peaple please keep that in mind uwu

Before we begin:

Hiiiii it's me I'm pop but pet names and nicknames are also chill👍 I'm 89.9% submissive and I can top in a subby way though I'm mostly bottom ❤ I have they/them pronouns and such but use like any pronouns you'd like,(neopronouns welcome) HOWEVER pls pls pls try not to use masc pronouns bc I'm girl now heheheh yayyyyy!!!!!!

dude is gender neutral here👍

Oops I forgot to add I wanna try bottoming sometime lol bc am virgin

Dec8 update. Ok maybe domming is cool but im still a submissive bitch. Tho i can be a dom amongst subs

Dec19

Heyyyyy i saw other people say this but like

I struggle messaging first alot of the time and like im sorry mutualssssss

Hii yes you found my kink exploration and h3nt8i blog+y1ff so theres that

I like

Toys

Furrys

Furry toys (those tail things and cat ears and such)

Casual hj

Casual nudaty ( basicly only thighighs or such idk)

Good vibes in public (literal) app controlled lol

Mutually getting off casually

Calling my dominant master ( or any dom name idk)

Causal free use between partners

Biting( any participant)

Clamps

Fingers in mouth kink

Choking

tounge biting

Tied up with other subs (bc group activity is fun uwu)

2 domms but like at once

Watersportsss( both top/bottem)

freeuse( again, yes)

Being manhandled (rough)

Ear licking( I get the asmr now) + endogenous zone

Neck biting/kissing

Ik I missed ALOT of kinks so ye sorry bout that

Tbf I'm into most things kinky but I have my limits so discuss first uwu

I do not like

Transphobes ( dni like go die painfully )

Maps(pedos) ( no no no dni die)

Chasers (VERY FUCKING RELEVANT NOW)

Verbal degradation (do it physically rather ig)

Like you can call me slut and what not but bc of trauma dont like say I'm shit or not enough and such bc nah

Beasiality/zoophilia ( kids and animals dont belong in kink )

Minors( join my sfw blog but FUCK Off from here)

Age regressors are fine tho welcome hiiii

If you didn't get it the first time animals and kids do not belong in kink.

I'm putting down these limits because I want this to be a safe space for kinky (vannila is also chill)queer peaple and if you are a proper ally to lgbtqa+ then cis peaple are fine here but straight peaple are gonna struggle finding their stuff here . I mean ur welcome but like I'm trans, and if you cant be fine with the fact I'm trans then leave.

In other words, cis peaple are welcome. Respect my boundaries, i respect yours. Also respecting boundaries are hot btw

I talk alot about t4t and gay shit both ways. You wont find relatable stuff here (unless you're into the hentai/yiff) nothing personal ofc

Also also final thing is you can call me any pet names but please, try going for the more feminine complements and pet names and nicknames 2024 update no more masc terms byeeeeeeee am so trans it hurts

Do not call me this,(slurs) unless you are trans them we can be ironic about it

tranny

, if you are cis NO, i kick you. In crotch. The unpleasant way. Transpeaple that reclaimed this can be ironic about it lol

, sissy cuntboy or shemale ,

No. I kick you in crotch. The bad perma injury way.

Heyyy I did a thing yall

Also sorry for the mispells bc website flags words on posts I thinks

Aight this shit bout to get updated for my safety bc of what happend

Commandments of my dms

If ur lgbtqa+ ur chill come say hi even

I accept Cis ppl that are chil and accepting (chasers die)

If ur straight tho then this place ain't really for you (affectionate bc I have straight besties that actually are nice)

Do NOT just storm into dms with an exception of pics, being freeusse is a bedroom fantasy I do with CONSENTING peaple. If I havent given you a go ahead then you talk to me like a person

I'm here to make queer gay bi/pan and trans besties. Chill cis peaple are also chill because I realise that allies exist and that gay/lesbian/bi pan peaple also exist

Also If ur sapphic i do also reblog waifus so everybody profits from this blog, still do chat with me bc I like meeting new peaple. No being horny isint rlly a requirement bc I use this blog to Express my more sensual and sexual side sure, but like we can just like for example gush about our fantasies and traumadump to eachover.

Also I forget to mention if you are a mutual you basicly already have most of my trust

Anything below marked in red is mentions of trauma and venting ignore if you wish

I like shit when its consensual but I dont like rape, idk why but it's a serious topic for me .27nov2023 I saw someshit depicting it and not only did it kill the mood I legit felt shit the whole morning, I get cnc but non consent is fucked. It affected me when I was young , it still affects me today. I wasent touched and I may be a softie but having a bathroom door forced open while I was doing my stuff in there, even today I struggle to pee in public bathrooms oh and I got bladder infection from that. Long story short rape is fucked and if you condone actual rape I hope to whatever is out there you die. Once more I reiterate but cnc stuff is fine. Actual stuff is not.

Ty for understanding ig

This piece of shit pinned keeps growing huh

Hehe( vanilla means treat me like a prince/princess/gender neutral term for those)

Big words bc eng is my 2nd language. Idk what half of those means

I'm guessing hostility means I'm a brat uwu

If you red this far for some reason then I'm proud of youu❤ also even tho I'm a sub TOPS and dommes also deserve praise

Also 3 dec edit: ive been giving it thought and i knew i wasent cis, but im like, super trans. Its comforting knowing who i am after years of doubt.

Also new pronouns just dropped!!!!!!

@meandering-rook im not leaving that response to die in the tags uwu this is like top tear complements

Like

Woah uwu

2023last edit 29dec

Ummmmm im trying a feminine alias

Call me poppy or Silova or any feminine name your brains conjure

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Two For The Price Of One

(Linked Universe/BOTW Wild/Link AU)

BOTW Link Has Two Braincells Souls

1. The Hero That Died 100 Years Ago (Link)

And

2. The Artificial Sheikah Soul From The Shrine Of Resurrection/The Player (Tech)

Upon Finding Out From The Old Man That Having Another Person In Your Head Isn't The Norm They Decided That Link Gets To Keep His Name And The Artificial Sheikah Soul Will Now Be Dubbed Tech (Once Joining The Chain Link Picks Up The Nickname Unity And Tech Picks Up The Nickname Wild).

Unity/Link Still Has Amnesia But Ends Up Gaining A Lot Of Their Memories Back Pretty Quickly After Finding All The Picture Locations And Wild/Tech Literally Just Got Here When They Woke Up In The Shrine So It Was A Learning Process For Both Of Em.

Unity/Link Is Good With Swords, Shields And Most Weapons Whereas Wild/Tech Is Good With Archery, The Sheikah Slate(Mental Connection Go Brr) And Stealth. Unity/Link Has The Heros Spirit And Wild/Tech Is Just Here For The Vibes And To Be A Chaos Enabler. (Unity/Link Was A Domesticated Chaos Gremlin By The Time He Died And Wild/Tech Is Going To Un-Domesticate Him If It's The Last Thing He Does)

They Are Unfortunately Both Idiots/Chaos Gremlins And Socially Awkward And Will 100% Play Mental Rock Paper Scissors The Loser Has To Deal With Socializing.

Wild Ultimately Looks The Same But Also Has Some "Something Supernatural Is Going On There" Vibes Like Sharper Teeth, The Fact That Their Eyes Glow/Eyeshine, Scary Good Night Vision, Always Cold, Movements/Vibe Just Off Enough To Trigger Some Primal Fear In Strangers, Their Blood Has A Faint Glow To It And When Wild/Tech Is In Control The Blue Glow In Their Eyes Is Brighter And More Noticeable.

Mentally However, Unity/Link Looks Like He Did Back When He Was A Knight Before The Calamity Hit And Wild/Tech Looks Like A Sheikah Recolor Of Unity/Link But They Have Ancient Technology Markings Near Their Eyes And Where Any Visible Veins World Be As Well As Blue Fire Eyes That Glow In The Dark Similar To Guardians/Ancient Tech.

At This Rate Unity/Link & Wild/Tech Are On "Do Not Separate" Levels Of Chaotic Head Roommates. They Can Actively Switch Out Who's Driving The Body At Will And With Enough Focus Can Copilot The Body.

They Are Actively Keeping Score Of Who Is Closest To Figuring Out That There Are Two People Behind The Mental Wheel Of The Champion Link (Four And Zelda/Flora Have The Highest Scores).

{I Offer Incorrect Quotes For The General Dynamic/Vibe Of These Two}

~

Wild/Tech: If you See Me Talking To Myself, Go Away! I’m Self-Employed And We’re Having A Staff Meeting!

~

Unity/Link & Wild/Tech: Am I a Boy? Am I A Girl? It Doesn't Matter. I'm Going To Burn Your House Down.

~

Unity/Link: Name A More Iconic Duo Than My Crippling Fear Of Not Being Worthy Of Being The Hero And My Anxiety. I'll Wait.

Wild/Tech: You And Me!!!

Unity/Link, Tearing Up: Okay.

~

Unity/Link, Trying To Put His Knight Training To Use: Ok We Need A Plan...

Wild/Tech, Currently In Control Of The Body Pulling Out A Bomb Arrow: We Have A Plan. The Plan Is Burn Everything Until We Are All That's Left Standing!

Unity/Link, Fighting And Losing To His Pyromania Demons: That'll Work =)

~

Unity/Link: Wild/Tech...

Wild/Tech, Bloody And Bruised From A Recent Tumble Down A Mountain Due To Ignoring Shield Durability While Shield Surfing: Oh No, 'Wild/Tech' In B-Flat.

Wild/Tech: You're Disappointed.

~

Wild/Tech: So That’s My Plan.

Unity/Link, A Trained High Ranking Knight: Are You Alright With Constructive Criticism? I Don’t Want To Sound Mean.

Wild/Tech: No, Go Ahead, I Want To Hear It.

Unity/Link: It Fucking Sucks We Are Going To Die.

Wild/Tech: That’s Not Very Constructive Of Your Criticism.

~

Unity/Link: I Prevented A Murder Today.

Wild/Tech, Who Watched The Whole Exercise Of Self Restraint Go Down: Really? How’d You Do That?

Unity/Link: Self Control.

~

Wild/Tech: I CAN'T DO IT UNITY/LINK!

Unity/Link, Laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Wild/Tech: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Unity/Link: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WILD/TECH, YOU CAN GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE I CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT ME.

Wild/Tech: . . .

Wild/Tech: I Appreciate It,

Wild/Tech: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH MAN-

Unity/Link: Wild/Tech-

Wild/Tech: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Unity/Link: Wild/Tech We Gotta-

Wild/Tech: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND DUDE. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Wild/Tech: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What Am I Willing To Put Up With Today?'

Wild/Tech, Motioning To Calamity Ganon: NOT FUCKING THIS!

[minhosimthings]

Skz and their most common nicknames in fics (+ reasons why I die for it)

Bang Christopher Chan: Babygirl. Alright I mean first of all he's our daddy because we are his babygirls. Second of all, I die for this because of HIS ACCENT. Whenever he says babygirl in that thick Aussie accent and does that stupidly adorable smile, my heart and melts and I go into this state of lovesickness and delusion but HEY it's not entirely my fault (Looking at you Mr Christopher)

Lee Minho: Kitten. Dude if you do not agree that Minho will call his s/o kitten, you are so wrong. It's the most cannon event thing out of all cannon events that Minho uses the name kitten, and I eat this up so much. This man's entire existence is basically cats. (I would know cause I'm his wife) Kitten is just so... romantically sensual. Like it's sexy and can be used in a very hot scene, but it's also so romantic, like Minho has a personalized nickname for you and it's just so skdjvdhehdbdbb sorry my brain is short circuiting rn.

Seo Changbin: Bunny. He's your Binnie, you're his bunny. Especially if you have bunny teeth, or just a bunny like personality, this is such a sweet nickname. Like imagine him just running up to you with a new song he made and saying 'bunny bunny! Look I made this for you!' or if you're in the gym he'd be like 'bunny do you want to do the weights now?' OSJDBSHSGSVSGH MY HEART CANT HANDLE THIS.

Hwang Hyunjin: Muse or flower. Another cannon event. Like babe I genuinely believe this man is someone who would be so whipped for his partner and dedicate his paintings to show his love towards them whenever he can't express them in words. As a painter myself, I am inspired by people around me a lot, so I feel like Hyunjin would also do that. Like if he proposed to you, he would paint a picture of your favourite flower and a ring and underneath the painting, it would be written 'A flower for my flower. Marry me, my muse?' I'm going into a Hyunjin limbo..... And I don't want to get out.

Han Jisung: literally anything cheesy as fuck. He would call you shit like 'my pookie wookie bear' and then look at you with those wide quokka eyes and you would just melt, but also internally cringe because of the nickname. Usually he would just call you 'babe' or 'jagiya' but sometimes his brain just tells him to give you a random burst of affection and then he does shit like this and then you're like how can you not love him? The boys found your contact in his phone one day and they still won't stop teasing you about it.

Lee Felix Yongbok: Sunshine or Cupcake. Yet another cannon event. Like how can you not look at this man and say he's not the embodiment of sunshine? You could take out the Sun from the solar system and replace him with it and I guarantee you, the world won't change one bit. He'd be your sunshine and you'd be his. Lighting up each other's life. He'd also call you his cupcake and when you'd ask him why he does that, he'd pull out a 3000 page document and one han Jisung to perform a song as to why he calls you what he does.

Kim Seungmin: Pup. Of course it's because of his puppy like personality and PuppyM! He would just stick to calling you 'babe' at the beginning of the relationship to keep up his tsundere reputation, but as he falls more in love with you, he'd call you 'pup' to remind you of how much joy you bring into his life. It physically hurts my tiny heart whenever I imagine a domestic relationship with him, when you are cooking and he just goes 'pup what are you making? It smells good.' (gonna go I need to sob in the corner now)

Yang Jeongin: honey. Alright listen LISTEN. That one clip of him saying 'honey mmmWAH' and blowing a kiss towards Stay before dancing with Minho, is just giving me massive brainrot. Honey is just such an old fashioned name and while he is the youngest of the group, his entire vibe sometimes just gives me vintage vibes. He would call you honey because you'd be the thing that brightens his day every day just like how honey sweetens his coffee. It's just so sweet and short and everytime he would go off to work in the morning, he'd give you a quick kiss and say 'bye honey' nope I can't do this my heart is too tiny.

[gingerjolover]

Pet Names - KG (Muna)

everyone say thank you @whore4munagenius 🙇🏻‍♀️🙏🏻

also canonically thinking of soft!gf i cant stop myself we are one

All of Muna uses baby/babe/honey so those aren't included that's just canon i said what i said

rpf smut under da cut - minors gtfo

anything with sweet (sweetheart, sweet, sweet girl, sweetie) - 10000% katie's version of princess, like have they forgotten your name? nope, she just uses any variation of these names at any time. i do think sweetheart and sweetie are the sfw names, like in public or when y'all have friends over in the garden for a lil bbq, she's calling for you across the backyard like, "do you need help sweetheart?" or "here i'll get the door sweetie." i think her calling you "my sweet" is reserved for special occasions like birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. i just think it sounds so formal. the other variations are fine in public but i think sweet girl is sooooo bedroom vibes. i use sweet girl for julien a lot and i think about it in the same way for katie like, "be patient sweet girl," while she's sucking hickeys into your thighs

angel - i think katie calls it how they see it okay, you're an angel and you will be treated as such. i don't think this is an everyday name like anything with sweet^ but there's no place she wouldn't call you angel. in public at the grocery store and you're checking stuff off of a grocery list? "got it, next one angel." when she's teaching you to rollerskate and you almost fall? "i got you angel." when you're being so good and patient for her as she kisses down your body? "stay still and i'll reward you angel." so it's not an everyday name but its versatile as hell

sunshine - your pouts and frowns do something to katies insides. sunshine is a name reserved for when you're feeling extra needy, katie is pouting along with you because you look like you could combust, she can practically see a rain cloud sitting over your head. maybe you're under the covers, nose and mouth peaking out so you can breathe and katie is kneeling down next to the bed, kissing your lips softly, eyes lighting up when you pull the covers down, "hiya sunshine," she says softly, stroking your hair and running a finger down your face.

darling - there's two versions of darling, there's the everyday like "good morning darling" or "text me when you get there safe darling" and then there's the dramatic darling, reserved for when y'all are fighting or arguing and she says something like "darling, i love you, but you're not listening to me," and ts paired with like a disappointed half smile that makes soft!gf absolutely lose it because how can katie still be so sweet while arguing with her.

i thought about darling being an entirely innocent nickname but then i had a thot about katie breathlessly calling you darling while your knuckle deep in her and kissing her sloppily. ok it would be sooooo cute, she'd be all like "p-please darling, you're so good fuck" aAAHH

peach - this one is so off base like i have no evidence but i think she starts calling you peach very early on in the relationship and you're confused because maybe you don't like peaches or maybe you like them a lot and you're wondering if she's mocking you? but then one night katies lying in bed, glasses on hair up, reading a book when you walk in the bedroom ready for bed. she's instantly putting the book down and opening their arms being like "c'mere peach," and when your head is on her chest you finally ask "why do you call me peach?". katie's eyes basically darken, one hand sliding down your back to pinch your ass before she leans down and connects your lips before saying, "because the first time i tasted you, you were as sweet as a peach," and smirking

[mxashayes10v3]

You got it, baby.

abby x fem!reader

warnings: smut!! no minors/men. sexual topics

lets be 100% real. you and abby never really done anything besides kiss. which was fine !! but one day you and your friends were talking and… “YOUR TELLING ME YOU HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.” one of your friends shout at while laughing.

“well i guess not, i mean we’ve kissed.” you hadn’t thought about going any further…well, besides in your dreams. you weren’t very experienced but you kinda sorta new your way around. you were a very shy person and usually didnt wanna talk about such things, knowing abby would tease you. but then you thought about how abby felt about the no sex thing.

you and abby had been together for 5 months now. what if she got bored of you? what of she thought you didn’t like her body? so you finally decided. you were gonna talk about it tonight. no getting scared.

“baby, im home!” abby walked through the front door and dropped her stuff. you ran to her and engulfed her into a big hug. tonight was movie night and you wore her shirt and boxers while abby wore her usual sports bra and pajama pants.

mid way through threw the movie you felt abby’s hand on your thigh, which was usually what happened, but it felt more different today. you glanced up at her, but all you saw was her focused on the tv. you looked away but this continued until abby decided to pause the movie.

“baby, is there somewhere wrong?you seem stressed” you thought about all that you had told yourself today. no going back now. “abby.. do you ever want to do more than just kiss me?” you said while looking away from her, flustered as ever “well, sometimes yea. you know i cant keep my hands off you pretty girl.” she says with a smirk and pulls your face back to look at her “ do you?”

DO YOU? oh my goodness yes. always. its just that… you were so scared you’d do something wrong i mean, you were still a virgin. “uhh yea i think so.” “did you want to?” abby said, still staring at you. you nodded slowly but you could tell that wasn’t gonna be enough for abby. “no baby. i need you to use your voice for me. come on, be a good girl.”

the nickname alone made your stomach twist and turn “abbyyy..” “come on, you got it, baby.” “yes i want to”

abby leaned into a kiss and pulled you onto her lap, her hands slowly moved up you shirt until it was off your body… you had no bra on. abby pulled away to admire you body “mmm fuck baby, i should’ve done this sooner. can i?” she looks at your chest and back at your face. “yes abby, please.” she slowly grabbed one of your breast while she sucked on the other. your eyes rolled back into your eyes, the pleasure was so good. you started to grind into abby, needing that friction. “nuh uhh sweet girl. good girls get what they want when they wait.” “ abby pleasee i need you so bad right now” you said with a pout, and how could she deny such a pretty face? “well then, lets see whats got you so worked up.” abby reached into h̶e̶r̶ your boxers and felt the wetness that was spilling onto your thighs.

“poor baby… has daddy been ignoring this pussy for to long?”

her dirty talk was unbelievable, you never thought abby would be so… perverted.

abby slipped her finger in with ease. “fuck your so tight” her fingers slid in and out while your moans gave her the courage to continue

“mmm daddy! p-please.. right~ there!!” you said while your back arched off the couch. and soon enough you were cumming all over abbys fingers. she let you ride it out until you called for abby, telling her it was too much. abby got you cleaned up and took you to the bed “abby?” “yes, sweet girl?” “thank you.” abby looked at you with adoring eyes. how could she be so lucky. “no baby, thank you.. now go to sleep.” you smiled up at her and leaned in to give her one more kiss “i love you” “ i love you too”

p.s.

this is my very first smut story!! im very proud of myself.😋 hope you like it!

[fictionfixations]

book 7 part 4 spoilers

im having intrusive thoughts (theyre UNWELCOME. ive been hit by so many emotions i cant stop myself from actually crying rn ) now that i finished it okay so

if there are any typos or wrong words that dont make sense im SO sorry i usually sleep around this time (i wrote confused instead of convinced im SOBBING) so my brain is slowing down on me

whbat if. what if if

we encounter the dawn knight

and silver's ring starts glowing

and they accuse him of being a traitor because it seems weirdly familiar (or the knight accuses silver of being a thief? IDK)

LISTEN im still convinced that the dawn knight and silver are connected in some way. i just dont know how yet. aghhhhh

ALSO WHEN is the conversation about them mentioning 'hey you keep calling me father..' (could be brushed off as 'you remind me a lot of my father'. cue probably mixed feelings) or '..hey what was that about you calling yourself a zigvolt when we first met?'

i mean sharing LAST NAMES (edit: i said nicknames wtf? im so sorry) without being related is normal. although i dont know how normal it is in twisted wonderland.

ALSO sebek also like doubled down like

baur: you dont have the signature scales

sebek: my mother has them!

baur: then why dont you?

sebek: ... (ashamed of his father. ashamed of his blood. poor baby. he really just ended up taking being called a 'human /neg'. to be fair i dont want to know reactions to a half-fae, because that would mean during the war between fae and humans, a fae got together with a human. and we know that that relationship was looked down upon even now in the future where the war is over, i think.)

(this book made me such a sebek apologist 😭)

like COME ON dont brush it off. i mean im going to cry for that conversation because its just going to be PAIN but like CMONNN????

where are the consequences?

then again this isnt real its just. a dream.

but...

also what if the dawn knight is silvers dad and lilia fucking idk kidnapped him and it started the war [although he'd be way too young in that case since this is 400 YEARS in the past] (but then theres the note lilia read him which means silver probably did get abandoned. .......or maybe lilia killed the dawn knight and his last words were giving his son over and that note about not wanting silver's eyes to cloud over in sorrow, and to instead be as clear as the jewel on the ring...)

or or or or

AHHH

i have. so many thoughts.

i STILL believe silver's at least related to the dawn knight. ...im just not sure how but i keep backtracking to son because yes.

and like itd also play into the 'fae stealing children' idea thingy. although i wonder if thats more offensive if that gets mentioned at all. if it was like some sort of propaganda bedtime story that humans told their children to make them terrified of fae and viewing them as monsters or something..

like

cuz

remember that merchant in the port town(?) area thing

first mistook us for monsters because of our masks (but thats fair)

realized we were like fae?? made a racket

this guard came over and the merchant accused US of threatening the guy to hand over his shit like what??? WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?? we dont even want your fucking spices or whatever wtf ???

i am also a believer that there's a huge misunderstanding between the fae and humans that caused this war.

but also.

i know twisted wonderland is very tragic and everything

but if the dawn knight and the ironclads kill malleus' mom im going to hate them so much. more than i already do [well i hate the ironclads, not the dawn knight, since one bad apple doesnt make them all bad apples]. (look they probably killed raverne but..... malleus' parents man. one is better then none. :( )

god

imagine though that the dawn knight is silvers dad (in whatever twisted time loophole age gap thing whatever the fuck even if it doesnt make sense)

and the dawn knights kills maleanor . . .? i. cant remember (OKAY maleanor is malleus' mom.? and maleficia is like grandma. i think... i. bro the overuse of mal is confusing me so bad sob)

just. imagine silver spiraling into a sort of self-hate. like. im the child of your enemy. my dad ("your dad is LILIA." says someone) killed malleus' parents...

and it probably feels worse then. idk. being a human in a land of fae. like so much more out of place

and so horrible

ahh im worried

..then again maleanor (i almost said maleficia oops) is super strong right? so she'd probably win.. (but also. its a lot harder to fight with something to protect. that being your precious little eggwhich you would probably die for to keep safe) ALSO SHE DIED SO LIKE ???

hhh i dont know what to think

JP SPoilers now

also really fucking worried because JP server's all the way in like idk pomefiore and im just like

how did you even get there. whAT? THIS ENDS?

like i know it'd have to end eventually but i just cant see an end in sight...

:((

i hope we can bring lilia with us. but there might be a chance he'll be made to fall into a deeper sleep where we cant assist since the whole point of his overblot was about lilia and wanting to keep him 'alive' and there

so.....

im just. sad.

[lostalioth]

𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

→ premise: steve thinks you have a foul mouth and he believes he knows the right cure for such a filthy mouth

→ pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader — dads bestfriend!steve

→ warnings: eighteen+, reader is rude, bustier!reader, smut, nicknames [little one, baby], oral [male receiving], small sir kink, face fucking, titty fucking, age gap [steve is in his late 30’s, reader is 23], authority kink?

→ a/n: my steve content varied with how well it did so let’s see how this does. O2 kinktober

“That’s such a stupid fucking idea”

“Why are you so dumb?”

“Cant you just shut the fuck up?”

Ever since Steve became best friends with your father and spent more and more time around you, he noticed you seemed to have quite a filthy mouth. Spouting profanities every other sentence, making crude comments to and about everyone. He slowly got more and more irritated at your coarse demeanor, he was about ready to snap.

“I think it’s time we fix that awful foul mouth of yours little one what do you say” a smirk was beginning to grow on steve's face. “I don't know if you're capable of that old man, think you can do it without blowing your back out?” Even on your knees you were a brat fighting to submit. Steve’s expanding smirk was replaced with a scowl and he grabs you hard by the back of your neck. Leaning down and pulling your face up a bit to his he growls lowly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine and to your core. “You're gonna listen like a good girl baby” his voice was so raspy and commanding it was becoming increasingly harder to fight sinking into that spacey place.

“And you will refer to me as sir got that?” He made a point by tugging your head back with his grip on the back of your neck when he said ‘will’. When you refuse to answer him he lets go of your neck and grabs your cheeks. “I asked, do you got that little one?”

“Yes sir” you whine softly and avert your eyes from steve. Dominance and authority was oozing off him and it was hard to hide your lust filled blown out pupils. “Look at me when you speak to me, and speak up” he commanded and you snap your eyes to his face. Studying all the hard edges but soft look in his eyes even as he was commanding you and manhandling you. “Yes sir” you raised your voice but it still comes out as a whine while looking him in his gorgeous eyes.

“Good, now I know just the thing to fix that mouth of yours”

“And what’s that sir?”

“Fucking that pretty little face of yours, may even just fuck these wonderful tits of yours while im at it to indulge myself” he groaned as he palmed your right tit, his large hand cupping nearly half of it.

It suddenly felt very hot in the room as your entire body felt like it was on fire, it was meant to be a form of punishment for talking back and yet you were excited. “Strip off this flimsy little shirt and lay on your bed” he gave you a shiny but dark smile before letting your face go and pushing it to the side as he waited for you to comply.

You jump up off the floor like it was lava and began peeling off your shirt not wanting to anger him further. “Bra too baby” Steve grunts out an extra command as he is pulling off his jacket and t-shirt. You’re quick to unlatch your lacy bra, freeing your tits. The room that was once on fire is oddly chilly now as a breeze passes your body, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin and your nipples to harden. Before making your way to your bed you steal a glance at Steve as he is unbuckling his belt and taking it off. In the back of your mind secretly hoping he'd use it on you.

You squirm a bit trying to get as comfortable as possible on your back while Steve makes his way over clad in just his excruciatingly tight boxers. His cock throbbing and twitching under the fabric at the sight of you making him need to shake his head quickly to clear it.

By now your eyes were heavy and glazed over ready to do whatever Steve told you to. “Hey little one help me out of these why don't ya’ ” Steve tells you in a slightly softer voice now as he was now sat on the edge of your plush bed. Slowly tugging the waistband of his boxers down, off his thighs and down his legs with the help of the older man his leaking cock is freed. Steve wasted very little time in straddling your body, one leg either side of you and rubbing on your breasts. His own eyes begin to match your glazed over ones. Pinching your hardened nipple between his thumb and pointer he starts rolling the sensitive bud in his fingers.

“God, you have such beautiful tits and such a pretty face baby, too bad it's ruined by this awful mouth” he groans as he pulls your bottom lip down with the thumb of his free hand. You whimper and buck your hips softly as the throbbing in your cunt was becoming persistent and unbearable. He chuckles softly at your quickly growing desperation. He lets your nipple go but not without a swift slap to your tit making you let out a small yelp of pleasure. He smiles wider at this and pushes your breasts together a bit more to make a tighter space for his cock.

Your foot was nearly shaking in anticipation, you needed and wanted this the same if not more than he did.

With a grunt Steve began working his swollen and leaking tip through the space he made with your breasts. Slowly drawing his hips back and slamming them forward he begins to create a steady pace fucking your plump tits. Through a small growl Steve orders “open your mouth for me baby” his eyes never look up at you to see if you comply, he knew you would, they’re simply glued to your chest. You let your jaw drop, leaving your mouth agape with your tongue out as his cock pushes up to the top of your tits and his reddened tip brushes your tongue. “Just like that yeah” he groans as his head leans back and he shuts his eyes.

You lean your head down so you can take his tip in your mouth and suck. Steve’s balls sat heavy and full at the base of your chest. He felt like he was already gonna explode. He didn’t wanna bust quick but your tongue running through this slit and on the underside of his tip was making that feel like mission impossible.

You and your dirty mouth will be death of steve sooner than he expected.

→ this was delayed cause i lost power yesterday and then got busy trying to fix links so my day 1 would show up in tags, anyway you’re getting this on a day i wouldn’t normally post! Day 3 will be coming tomorrow the 4th cause of my posting schedule and the fact i’m doing 18 days not 30. I rushed this ending so i could get this out lol.

[megabuild]

this was like a five minute doodle just to get the concept down but ive been thinkin about greggory..

obvious full disclaimer him being more human shaped is inspired by qsmp fanarts ofc. pushes that out of the way

ive talked a little about nl!olipix here and here but tldr oli ""dies"" at the end of empires and runs away and leaves olipelago to greggory. pixelle gets nothing in his will btw which he doesnt really care about on like a physical level because hes more upset about his boyfriend fucking dying but there is a part that stings that hes not even mentioned in the will despite them being so close he feels a little like oh so did that not mean anything to you.. but thags his issue.

the most immediate problem is that greggory is like not competent enough to live alone or maintain the olipelago. sorry. he's still in his shell at this point and like six months old tops he's baby. pixelle was already lowkey his parent because he babysat and hung out with oli a lot so it sort of happens naturally.. plus as a dragon its honestly a bit more like a slightly higher maintenance cat. who can breathe fire once hes out of the shell a couple months down the line. thats scary.

pix wraps up work on the ancient capital and moves back to the city to continue his previous job but things don't work out for .. various reasons. he's literally still like part ghost. but when he moves he takes greggory with him ofc because like he can't leave him alone... pix doesn't actually like children he was really bad with hermes but gregg grows on him. maybe in part because he's not really a child he's a dragon like i said. until. har har.

at about a year old greggory starts mimicking the humans around him a lot better than he was before. like. he starts walking on two legs. and at first pixelle is like lol how cute and then he seriouses because oh shit what the fuck raising dragons is sort of not really that common especially not in this sort of environment. on the rare occasions they've been tamed before they've been wiled beasts and this is an ender dragon which is nigh unheard of. (Violet from arc 1 still exists but is a very difficult and separate case that doesn't apply.) so suddenly instead of a little kittycat this thang is trying to walk and grab things with his little claw hands and vocalising (he doesn't have vocal chords capable of human speech but he does little grunts and stuff it's cute.) pixelle is equal parts fascinated from a scholarly pov but also like oh my god i am not qualified at all for this what the fuuuck

this is the point that makes pixelle sit up and go ok i need to unghost myself because i cant. raise my weird son like this. (his entire ghost thing is a weird metaphor for depression and trauma and grief because all the ghosts in aoyuer are about that. so yea) and then him and greggory go do that and its a whole thing i wont get into but it leads into him entering the land that new life is set in and meeting oli again who he had kind of figured out was alive and was trying to track down but didnt expect it to happen here. and so begins their divorce arc

fun notes though: pixelle calls greggory omelette sometimes as a cute nickname! he suggested that as a name when he was still in his egg. sort of mean. also since gregg can't speak english pix learns and then teaches him sign language ^_^ at the start of new life / arc 3 he's only a basic communicator but can get his point across usually.

oli is by no means a bad dad he's just not a great one either. it's clear he tries very hard and he does love gregg. part of the reason he leaves him is BECAUSE he loves him and he recognises he's not really able to raise him and it would be unfair to drag him along wherever he plans on going post empires... but that doesn't make it right etc etc. Hes aware of that too and feels generally awful about the whole thing... His and greggorys relationship is weird and strained at the start but he tries by god does he try. And they make it work eventually. They have to get through the horrors first though.

[plural-culture-is]

i fear that i may be a system in denial or something along those lines.

for years of my life, ive struggled with three voices in my head, dissociation, derealization, depersonalization, way-too-over-the-top delusions, hallucinations here and there, and never feeling like who im supposed to be. a few months ago, i thought that it could have to do with undiagnosed schizophrenia or some type of schizo-related disorder (because of the delusions and hallucinations). but recently, ive noticed that these things are all getting worse.

there are more voices. its no longer just the three. and i feel like i should know these voices, even though i dont. they're still strangers to me.

my struggles with dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization have gotten worse---especially the derealization and depersonalization.

my main delusion has been growing stronger and stronger, becoming more and more severe. (though the strength of it tends to vary, so...)

nothing's gone on with the hallucinations. at least, i dont think so. i haven't been paying attention.

and my feelings of never feeling "right" or "correct" have gotten so much stronger. i cant go ten minutes without thinking, is this who i really am? am i faking who i am? if im faking my identity, who am i really? why dont i know who i truly am? will i ever learn who i truly am? am i the only one who cant figure out who they are? why do i never feel like im my true self? why do i always faking who i am? how do i act like my true self? does my true self even exist at this point? and et cetera.

i dont think im a system. i dont want to be a system. i dont want to be plural. i already struggle enough with my neurodevelopmental and physical disabilities. i already struggle enough my mental health and with trauma. i dont need the struggles of having did or osdd or something related. i dont want the struggles, either.

but the more and more i research did for my system character in one of my books, i find more that i can relate to. as i mentioned earlier, i used to think that i might be schizophrenic due to my delusions and hallucinations. but just the other day as i was doing more research about did for my character, i found out that its possible for systems and plurals to often struggle with those things. and my brain went down a deep rabbit hole, like, well fuck shit balls, could i possibly be plural? did my trauma fuck me up that much???

as i went down that rabbit hole, i realized that i dont remember a lot of my childhood. i remember a few specific memories, most of which are either traumatic or just funny memories that ive told as stories numerous times. other than that, i know next to nothing. i also have times where i cant remember shit about anything. my name, my age, my address, what schools ive gone to, what school i go to now, what i did ten hours ago, what i did five seconds ago, et cetera. ive also noticed that im constantly remembering those things wrong. "how old are you?" someone could ask. "im thirteen years old," ill say, then correct myself, "no, wait, im x years old." ive even said that im seven years old when im in fact much older than that. people could ask me, "what's your name?" and ill answer with something that's not my name. could be a nickname from school, a nickname from the many summer camps ive gone to, my pen name for my books, or a random name in general. and there are so many examples that i could give.

back to my doing research stuff for my character, i was going through one website when i found an infographic. it was a simple thing; just five common symptoms of dissociative identity disorder. it listed...

~ inability to remember large portions of your childhood

~ out-of-body experiences, hallucinations, and/or flashbacks

~ suicidal thoughts or self-harm

~ differences in handwriting and changing levels of functioning

~ episodes of memory loss

if i dont experience them now, ive experienced all of them before. the first one, i just mentioned. the second one happens all of the fucking time. the third one happens on a daily basis. the first half of the fourth i haven't really noticed, but the second half is very true. and i just talked about the fifth one.

i dont know if i just have some type of dissociative disorder or im just crazy. but i cant get it out of my head that i might be a system or a system in early development. (dont really know how to explain what i mean by "in early development," but ill try to: what i mean is that im in the early developing stages where dissociation starts happening frequently and alters start forming, but switches arent possible yet.) that or ive been forcing myself---if i am plural and in denial---to act like a normal person, just like ive been doing with autism and adhd.

do you have any advice on how to figure out if im a system or not??? i dont have access to a therapist or psychologist due to my parents not believing in mental illness and things like that.

sorry, we've just stopped accepting am I plural asks, so this one goes out to the public

also, here's our resources for questioning systems