#anyways if you need me i'll be thinking about armand and daniel

[apoptoses]

it's day three of anne's eunuch book making me absolutely feral 🥺

[thequeenofsastiel]

I'd like to touch on this scene again, because I feel like it's a good indicator that there was still love in their relationship.

Louis had just told both Daniel and Armand about Dreamstat, and it clearly crushed Armand. I probably don't need to drop screenshots of the way he reacted but I'm going to anyway.

And even though afterwards he said that he could understand Dreamstat, he was still clearly hurt by it.

And even though Daniel wasn't paying any attention to their interaction, Louis still felt the need to reassure Armand. That to me indicates that there was still love between them. If there wasn't Louis would have simply ignored Armand's reaction to Dreamstat. Armand even gave him an out by saying that he understood the existence of Dreamstat. But Louis knew that despite what Armand said, he was actually very hurt that a year and a half into their relationship, after they had professed love for each other, Louis was still having hallucinations of Lestat, who was laughing at them saying "I love you". Which on some level would indicate that Louis didn't take their love seriously. So Armand is sitting there with this sudden, deeply hurtful knowledge. And Louis cares. He cares a lot. He doesn't want Armand to be hurt by this, he doesn't want Armand to think that he didn't take their love seriously, which is why he said he was severing one vampire bond and knitting another, completely ignoring Daniel and focusing on Armand. He wants Armand to know that he genuinely did take their love seriously despite the existence of Dreamstat. If there was no love between them, Louis wouldn't have bothered to do that, because he wouldn't have cared about Armand thinking that Louis didn't take their love seriously. And it clearly reassured Armand, who had a tiny smile on his face after.

And so did Louis, clearly happy that Armand felt better.

So yeah I'll die on the hill of Louis and Armand were still in love in Dubai.

[cuntylestat]

i just personally did not understand what Armand’s motivations were the whole time. Why did he let Louis leave so easily without using his powers, if the whole point is that he does monstrous things just to not be lonely? Did he ever love Louis or was he just trying to spite Lestat like Louis was? If the plan was to kill Louis why not just, like, do it afterwards anyway? He’s so much more powerful. Maybe these all have obvious answers and it’s just me

i don't have all the answers either, just my interpretations with what we know. i also think that we don't need to have all the answers yet and that some of this may be explored in s3.

i think by the time louis shoved armand into the wall he had already tried every desperate excuse he could think of and had to realize it was over, there was no going back. and i don't think armand is as much about blunt force as lestat is when he feels abandoned. his monstrosity lies more in his manipulations, his lies, than using his powers to physically control louis. even in san francisco, he punished louis by letting him suffer his injuries, by hurting daniel and threatening him with lestat, not by physically attacking or restraining louis himself. maybe, to some extent, he also wants the illusion that he's chosen. for example, when louis picks armand in front of lestat, he probably knows it's not really about him and louis really wanting him, but he's desperate enough to be loved that he can at least pretend. that's what he seems to come to with louis all the time; let's just pile all the hurt and the lies under the carpet, i'll do whatever i need to in order for you to be happy so you will stay with me.

i do think armand loved louis, just like he also loved lestat, just like louis and lestat loved each other. and yet they all hurt each other in different ways, it's just how these vampires work. we don't know yet if armand was actually planning to kill louis or if he was also gonna swoop in and save louis at some point - the trial works out differently in the book, so who knows, they may pick up on this later. i think, either way, once louis is still alive, armand sees a chance for them to maybe still work it out; maybe he knows his future with the coven is not sustainable after the trial and he doesn't want to be alone, or he really does regret his role in the trial and wants to be with louis after all. there are many options and maybe we'll get his story at some point

[bigskydreaming]

The Vampire Daniel Molloy, when Louis asks what he's looking forward to most about the next stage of his newly immortal life:

Hmm. With how much my maker already complains about me ruining his life and how every day I give him a new reason to regret ever siring me, if I had to pick just one thing, I'd say the thing I'm most looking forward to is when I hit vampire puberty.

Louis: ....

Daniel: Vampire puberty's when the really wild superpowers kick in, right?

Louis: I suppose technically that's not....inaccurate.

Daniel: Hey, what are the chances of me getting the 'set shit on fire with my brain' thing you've got? Can you even imagine how much that would piss him off? His disappointment of a fledgling having the same gifts as the ex who dumped his ass....oh, man. C'mon now. I bet I could do some real damage with that.

Louis: Actually, while we're near the subject: would you please stop introducing yourself as 'the reason your vampire parents got divorced?'

Daniel: No, Louis, Louis! You're not getting it, see....the thing that makes it funny is its true.

Louis: You've really decided to lean into the whole 'second childhood' angle, huh.

Daniel: Mmmm. And just think. If you'd turned me fifty years ago when I first asked, I'd be well past this stage by now. And also still twenty. And hot.

Louis: Ahh. Its like that, then, is it.

Daniel: Oh, only a little bit. Really though, its like, every day I discover a new way to make Armand rue my very existence all over again, and maybe I'm just a simple man with simple needs, because that's just....very fun for me. I mean, there's just something extra validating in knowing the guy you're all "fuck that guy, I hate him, he sucks" about hates you waaaay more than you can be bothered to hate him. Because then its like you win the feud, right? You still get to hate that guy, which is great, because fuck that guy, he sucks, but you also get to know your very existence drives him way crazier than his ever makes you, and I mean, let's be real. Who doesn't like winning things?

Louis: Well I'm so glad you've found something that gives you a sense of purpose at least. Its very -

Daniel: Yeah, yeah, immortal blood drinkers need hobbies other than mass murder, it keeps the body count low and is good for the environment. Relax. I know. I literally wrote the book on it. You were there.

Louis: That's what you got out of it?

Daniel: Why, did you want me to fixate on your sex scenes instead? That seems weird. A little narcissistic even. And at the risk of self-awareness, when I'm the one -

Louis: Right. Well. I just wanted to make sure you had something to focus your energies on. It can all be a bit overwhelming at first and with your level of public attention at the moment, its very crit -

Daniel: Nope, all good here. Got myself a steady supply of Deadbeat Dad jokes that make my maker's eye twitch - apparently base word play is "gauche" or some shit - ugh, my god, its like nothing I do is ever good enough for him, and I only ate one of the editors on my shitlist to test drive my shiny new murder skills. He had this thing about Oxford commas, used to bug the crap out of me. Its like we get it, you hate them. They're literally dots on a page, they can't hurt you, can we please move on....

Louis: ....

Daniel: Louis, I'm kidding. Look, you don't have to worry about me. I already decided I find emotional evisceration way more satisfying than the physical version. Less clean up and it lasts longer anyway. I'm not going to get myself into trouble by cosplaying as Jack the Ripper where paparazzi can catch me red-fanged, and even if I do, I hereby absolve you of all responsibility. You can stop mother-henning me, you didn't turn me, you literally said no when I begged you to, its the whole reason I have eternal wrinkles instead of youthful tautness.

Louis: Not gonna let that one go, are you.

Daniel: Gimme a few centuries and ask me again. I'll let you know then.

Louis: Mmhmm. So this was....memorable and we definitely won't be doing it again. But you do seem to have things figured out so I'll leave you to it, then.

Daniel: Wait, Louis, don't go! Don't you want to hear my five-century life plan for annoying Armand into an early retirement mausoleum? I made visual aids!

Louis: Goodbye, Daniel.

Daniel: Fine, leave then! I don't care! You're not my real dad anyway! Et cetera, et cetera!

[nightcolorz]

i don’t think i’ll ever be done talking about armand songs but for now i only have one left that i need to talk about and that is how much of a loumand song “Starring Role” by Marina is

like first of all “You’re hard to hug, tough to talk to, and I never fall asleep, when you’re in my bed, all you give me is a heartbeat” is so very Dubai loumand and in particular the scene of them alone in their bedroom and how detached it felt, the chaste kiss, Armand’s longing, pleading looks. He’s getting nothing from this.

Then, “I’ve turned into a statue, and it makes me feel depressed, cause the only time you open up in when we get undressed” is both very Armand-as-Rashid with the feeling that he is less of a person and more a servant in the eyes of both Louis and Daniel, and is upset by it. The getting undressed part is interesting because it’s both carrying on from this servant act, fitting in regards to Daniel’s “rent boy” comment, he’s not really a person unless he’s having sex with someone (which oh my god just SO Armand) but ALSO his relationship with Louis outside of the Rashid act- he doesn’t feel like their relationship is anything more than a sexual relationship anyway.

Leading into “You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel, You don’t love me, Not a big deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel” Louis doesn’t love him. Not since before the trial at least, its all for spite. He wants Lestat, Armand knows this, and knows he’s only with him for misplaced spite. (“It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart”) But I feel like Armand staying is proof that he does love Louis, even in a twisted way. He can accept it being unreciprocated as long as he has safety and security, even if he’s miserable and will never tell Louis how he feels.

The lines “You know I’d rather walk alone, than play a supporting role, if I can’t get the starring role” I think are an oddly brilliant summary of why Armand chooses to betray Louis in Paris even if it means his death. Armand’s insecurities mean he would rather be alone and self-sabotage than be with someone that he loves that he knows would sideline him for the ghost of his ex (who is also HIS ex)

“Sometimes I ignore you, So I feel in control, Cause really I adore you and I can’t leave you alone” is very reminiscent of Armand’s emotional abuse of Louis to get what he wants (again stemming from a deep insecurity and desperation to not be alone) He can’t be without Louis, so he makes him dependant on him in several ways, then emotionally withdraws for the control it brings.

“You’re like my dad, you’d get on well, I send my best regards from Hell” is a final nail in the coffin, Armand projecting his relationship with Marius onto Louis due to his need to be in that dynamic because its all he knows and recognises as love, even if its self-destructive. Louis goes along with it far too easily, which I think triggers Armand a lot more than he consciously realises. This behaviour is deeply hurting him but he can’t realise or understand why, but has a resentment for Louis come with it even if he loves him and wants him to do it. The mention of Hell is interesting as well, with the connotations. Armand putting himself in Hell as if he was a demon, even though his “father” always called him and angel, heavenly.

“I never sang for love, I never had a heart to mend, Because before the start began, I always saw the end, Yeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me, But nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free, Yeah, I'll never set you free” This entire bridge just sums up their dynamic terribly well I fear. Armand’s eternal brokenhearted-ness, his “half blank half apocalyptic” looks, doomed from the start, wishing for Louis to be the one to be with him and save him, though not letting him go even if he knows those goals are unachievable.

Marina Lambrini Diamandis somehow you wrote the PERFECT loumand song in 2012 Godbless.

WOOOOOOOOWWW THIS IS PERFECT OMG!!!! This made me stim lol, I love Mariana sm and this is amazing analysis, AHHH YESSSS!!!! Adding to my Armand playlist ASAP. The youd get on well with my dad lyrics goes CRAZY in this context ur mind is incredible.

(Since we r on the subject lol hermit the frog by Mariana is very Amadeo era Armand to me hehe)

[desertfangs]

Through the Garden Gate [AO3] Lestat/Daniel - Explicit - 4,459

Not long after Tale of the Body Thief, Lestat and Daniel talk about Lestat's body swap and how Daniel worries his relationship with Armand is falling apart.

I wrote this in kind of a flash of inspiration but I figured I might as well post it now, since I'll be posting a lot of stuff in February for fandom events and don't know when I'll get around to it otherwise.

I really just love Lestat and Daniel having deep conversations and I think Daniel tends to ask the best questions. They are my BROTP with benefits and I know some of y'all love them as much as I do, so I hope you like this!

Brief excerpt:

“Is it true that you swapped bodies with a mortal?” Daniel had been burning to ask about it since Lestat first jumped him in Pirate Alley, and the question tumbled out almost immediately after they sat at the small bar table. 

A storm of emotion passed over Lestat’s face. “I did.” 

Daniel leaned closer, across the small bar table between them. “What was it like?” 

“What do you think? Incredible. Messy. Uncomfortable. Amazing.” Lestat shook his head. “Impossibly strange. But it had been hundreds of years since I’d known mortal urges, mortal discomfort.”

“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Daniel laughed slightly. Mortal discomfort—aches and pains and hangovers and head colds—had been the bane of his existence during his last mortal years. He’d been in his early thirties and yet already his body had changed so much. Sleeping at the wrong angle could ruin him for days. 

“Not entirely. There were good things.” Lestat smiled, but it didn’t reach his blue gray eyes, which were trained on his martini glass full of blue curaçao and vodka. “The taste of wine. The sun.” 

Daniel reached across the table and touched Lestat’s hand, which was a rich, tan color, like the rest of his skin. “And how did this happen?” 

Lestat sighed. “I had a moment of weakness and went into the Gobi desert. It’s not important now.” 

Daniel snorted. “Yeah, clearly. Are you okay?” 

Lestat waved a hand and then his magnificent, winning smile returned. “How did you hear about my last misadventure anyway? I’m still working on the book.” 

Daniel sat back against the booth and tapped his fingers on the table, keenly aware of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. “Louis wrote a very concerned letter about the whole affair.” 

Lestat frowned. “To you?” 

Daniel flushed. “To Armand. Sent to Night Island. I stopped by to check on the house and I opened the mail.” He hadn’t thought much of it at the time—he and Armand often treated each other’s things as if they were their own, which was perhaps a bad habit, but it had always worked for them. Once he’d read it, he’d felt a bit like he’d overstepped, and he’d tucked the letter away to give to Armand next time he saw him.

“And where is that impish maker of yours, hm?” Lestat asked. “Where are you two living these days?” 

“Barcelona, for now,” Daniel said. “Assuming he’s still there when I get back.” 

Lestat smirked. “Trouble in paradise?” 

“You could say that.” Daniel thought of Armand’s hardened expression, his cold kiss against Daniel’s cheek as he’d left. The icy atmosphere of the flat they shared. Daniel fiddled with the plastic sword that held an olive and onion in his cocktail, stirring it around the drink. “He’s gotten so damn volatile. The smallest thing sets off these terrible fights. Or worse, he gets quiet and sullen and avoids me. To be honest, I prefer the fighting.” 

Armand had barely said a word when he’d left. Daniel had been pushed past all reason and needed a break, so he’d offered to go check on The Night Island, an errand they did from time to time as they traveled around in hopes that some new location might fix all their problems. 

In truth, he’d hoped Armand would come with him. Maybe being home again for a few days would rekindle something, give them some perspective. But Armand had simply wished him bon voyage, without so much as a suggestion he didn’t want him to go, and now Daniel was procrastinating going back.

“He and Louis could teach a masterclass in administering the silent treatment,” Lestat said morosely. He stabbed the cherry in his drink with his own plastic sword, a little green one, and then let it drop, blue liquid splashing out of the glass.

Read the Rest on AO3

[monstersinthecosmos]

HI <3 Sheith VC anon here back with a very humble request. So I've read TVL and am currently reading QoTD, just finished the Devil's Minion chapter (oH mY gOD my HEART). I'm going through the books a bit slowly bc life stuff, but I have sooooo many thoughts and feelings and feel like I need to read lots of fic to work through it LOL. I would love it if you could rec me some (or tons of!) fics that wouldn't give me (m)any spoilers re: stuff that happens after this point in the series. I realize this might be a kind of hard/maybe impossible request because a lot of those spoilers would be referring to things that chronologically would have taken place prior to DM for instance, but I'm so starved I thought I might ask just in case! I'm not suuuper partial to any specific ships (Lestat/Louis is a bit boring IMO 😭 but I love them so I'll take it) and I don't have any NOTPs, so I'm down to read pretty much anything (esp if it's spicy and/or hurts my heart and/or features Armand lmao). Totally fine if this is too much trouble or if it turns out to be an impossible ask indeed; thank you in advance anyway! AND THANK YOU AGAIN for introducing me to these brain-rotting books lol I spend like half my waking hours thinking about Armand now.

SHGKJALDS I SPEND HALF MY WAKING HOURS THINKING ABOUT ARMAND TOO SINCE LIKE THE YEAR 2000 LMFAO im so glad you see!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GET IT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So babe tbh the reason I started writing Armand/Daniel fic at all is because there really ... isn't that much? And I was like GUESS I GOTTA FUCKIN COOK FOR MYSELF. So tbh I haven't actually read a ton of VC fic at all. The otp:true filter for them on AO3 (excluding TVverse fics) only has 237 fics hdkjgalds but you can start here LOL. I think for the most part you'll be able to tell in the tags if it's post-QOTD because people usually will tag like "post canon" or "Prince Lestat Era"; for QOTD fics check for a Devil's Minion/Devil's Minion Era tag. I don't always remember to tag my own fics but my only post-canon D/A fic is called "In the Trials of the Heart" and all my others are Devil's Minion era and shouldn't spoil anything ! Be aware that the TV fandom and book fandom sometimes overlap so there might be stray TV fics in the book tag; it won't spoil anything bc the TV canon is a completely different story, but it might not make sense if you jump in to read it. So without actual fic recs I'll share some authors that I really trust!! Have a look through their VC fics!!!!!!!

apoptoses (pervert extraordinaire 10/10, all the D/A fics are Devil's Minion era except for Blood Sanation so go nuts!) covenofthearticulate (this is Ash, she actually writes Loustat & Louis/Armand mostly but she's so smart and I trust her so much!!!!) Diabolus_Invictus HekateInHell (writes a lot of Lestat/Armand and also has a human AU called Our House that I'm obsessed with!) ImhereImQuire Nothing_But_Paisley rainandcoffee (if you're sick of all of our doom&gloom you can find fluff and lightness here!) whisperbird (just one VC fic but I think about it every day of my life I love it)

Whenever I remember I try to post VC fics that I do read, kinda like how Sheith fandom does Wednesday Fics, I try to tag #VCFicFriday so try there too!

Anyway if anyone wants to add to this post and share recs PLEASE DO I actually am not a great fic reader bc my attention span sucks and I'm picky about canon compliant porn LOL! But help our new friend out if you want to share any!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sonataforsybelle]

@guacamolloy continued from here

She should have realized earlier ; Benji certainly had. She'd always been drawn to Daniel for reasons she couldn't quite articulate. Sybelle was not completely stupid : she knew there was much left unsaid and a heavy feeling hanging between them always, a vague sense of being too much for him. Despite it she had believed for a long time that they could become friends. After all he'd been quite agreeable with her for a few years, talking with her, even sharing a part of his life that he kept from most. Only one subject remained like a thorn in both their sides : they never spoke about Armand and their relationship to him.

"Fine. I'll stop bothering you then," she said, defeated. There was no need to force it.

He spoke again, however, and she felt wronged. Like she'd calculated that he'd be left out. The anger felt misplaced, somewhat, and she slightly recoiled from him.

"I do care. Believe it or not but I actually wanted to be friends with you, or something like it" she said between gritted teeth. A brother. She'd wanted an older brother who would not hate her. Her voice shook. She hated it. "I'm not some evil fledgling who calculated how I'd steal Armand from you."

Maybe she'd just deluded herself into thinking they could have something. The more he avoided her, the more she clung. Following him around like a puppy. Favourite child clinging to a sibling who hated her. But in the end, they weren't really siblings, were they ? He was not her brother and he was certainly not this brother. The comparison to Fox was a disservice, in fact, because she firmly believed Daniel would not hurt her like this. Not with his fists, anyway. Maybe with his words.

"That stuff's between you and him. Don't take it out on me."

[nalyra-dreaming]

Okay so it's probably been said before but it's been rattling around my head, there's a lot of talk about how can louis ever forgive lestat and how can they ever be endgame after the dv of ep 5, but I think that's the point? These 2 are disgusting to one another but they end up together anyway, the bond, their love, transcends mortal morals. One beat the other, one murdered the other(i dont see this second one brought up half as much as i should), as humans we cannot begin to understand how to get past that and for me it's okay.

Perhaps we just have to trust the characters to make their own choices and remember when consuming this type of media monsters are inherently different, they don't follow the same thought process like we do, no matter that louis seems to, he's still one of those monsters at the end of the day!

I'll stop rambling now, that's probably not even coherent 😂

Hey dear! Well... the show (or Louis!) did their/his damnest to make sure that Lestat's killing was justified. :)) And that right there is the crux of it all I think, and that which Daniel has already started to call out in the last episode... it... probably?^^... wasn't. And in the book Louis slowly came to realize that and HERE he also had a few decades to reflect. (Totally apart from Armand.) And yes, for us as humans... this is likely not a relationship that could be saved. But then anyone with a cut throat probably is beyond saving already, and a beating like that, and a fall like that. Oh, and killing every night. You know. But they are vampires. And eternally connected, yes. And that does, totally apart from what we've been shown, change things. Louis can forgive Lestat imho (eventually) because he

a) will learn a few harsh truths still and

b) will learn a lot about the whys of Lestat's behavior. Even if he didn't... (how do I put it) embellish there for reasons.

As the audience will, too. As the book readers did, too. The show is simply following the books here, and I for one really wouldn't worry^^. None of the vampires in the Vampire Chronicles are saints... not even Louis, even though Lestat calls him that. He almost killed Daniel back then for being "disrespectful" (and Armand stopped him lol). Just sayin' :) And yes - art (any kind) is meant to challenge us. Too often in modern media it is all neatly put into boxes already, no thought processes needed. Easy peasy. 'Here's your moralistic summary, now go and be a good boy.' This show is - luckily - different. And if they continue to follow the books - they will continue to be.

[hekateinhell]

7 and/or 18 💖

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

answered here!

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

This was one of the ones I was scared to get lol but I'll try! Don't get me wrong, flattery gets you everywhere with me but actually picking out something that *I* like from my own fics? Can't think of a thing tbh, so I went with the scene that's been the hardest one for me to write so far - just because the content is pretty heavy (for me), and it took a few changes and rewrites to get to where I was satisfied with it as a plot device.

(Our House, Chapter 3 spoilers)

Armand and a girl; maybe seventeen, eighteen years old. Beautiful, high Slavic cheekbones, smudged eyeliner accenting her light blue eyes, dark hair. Armand halfway behind her, his hands cupping her bare tits, fake vampire fangs in his mouth, his head turned slightly to mimic biting her throat.

"Eleni," Armand said.

And Lestat, he's there too. He's taking the selfie, pupils blown wide, his cheek pressed to the girl's head, blond hair everywhere, an arm going around her head to rest his hand on Armand's shoulder. Not inherently sexual, more familial than anything, the three of them laughing; a teen's photo for fun and mild shock value.

[So this was where I had to decide how exactly I wanted Armand to present the history of his relationships with his ex-girlfriend and Lestat to Daniel. We get a bit more from Armand's POV later, but it doesn't really expand beyond what we're shown here. This is what's relevant to Armand right now, and this is what he wants Daniel to know. The rest will come later (when I decide what the hell "the rest" is). One of the best writing tips a friend gave me is: even if you're writing from just one person's POV, you need to know what the other people in the scene are thinking.]

Armand passed the phone to him wordlessly, mentally checking out. Daniel could see it in the dimness of his eyes, in the tiredness of his shoulders. Emotional or chemical—something drug-induced? Daniel had no way of knowing.

[Concerned Husband Danny is my fave, this was one of his times to shine. I wanted to make sure he's hyperaware of Armand right now, not taking his eyes off him for a second.]

"Just like Paris."

"She's pregnant here," Armand reached up and tapped the screen. And, dear God, was that a great distraction or what?

[Oh shit! moment, hopefully for the reader and Daniel both.]

"Really?" Yours? went unsaid. Armand heard it anyway.

He nodded, barely. "We were so young... Just reckless, stupid street kids that had no way of knowing better. But I loved her, and she loved me."

[It was important to me that it's clear Eleni was a meaningful and formative romantic relationship in Armand's life, even though he's older and married to a man now. He's bisexual, and Eleni was truly his first love.]

"Is she still in France?" Daniel asked, perpetually curious to a fault. It was the reporter in him. He was an intelligent man, he'd already figured out the loaded implications behind a child Armand never mentioned to him before. Abortion, most likely, given how young they both looked.

"Eleni?" Armand arched an eyebrow, as if they'd been talking about anyone else.

Daniel nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, she is," Armand smiled in the empty way some people have a tendency to do, "Cimetière des Innocents.”

[My baby boy is broken inside, and I needed y'all to know that. Also, Les Innocents name-drop!]

Damn. "I'm sorry, love." It seemed to Daniel he was saying that a lot lately.

[By this point, it's already been a couple months of drama, and Daniel's gotten one bombshell aside from this one dropped on his head tonight. He's a saint of a man, but every person has a limit before they start burning out and idk if y'all noticed... but Armand in this fic... he's a lot, okay?]

Armand sighed, "Do you know what she said?"

Rhetorical question, and he continued, "She said it was a miracle, that it was God himself giving us a second chance. Telling us to clean up our act, get clean, find other ways to survive, to provide. And I believed it too."

[This part was weird for me because I was trying to tap into what a girl who'd been raised with a Catholic mentality might think. I never said Catholic, but clearly, she was religious to quite a degree and my mind went to Catholic. Kind of trying to channel the CoD fervor into something else here, and also pull stuff from my own life experiences.]

He sighed again, "We were just kids." Armand looked and sounded a lot like a kid just then.

He took a minute to lean against Daniel's arm, playing with the zipper on Daniel's hoodie. Up and down, up and down. Zip, zip, zip. "Well, I guess God changed his mind."

[I feel like Armand is such a classic C-PTSD case in almost every universe I write him. I mean- he is in canon! And reverting to child-like comforting behaviors when confronted with a stressor/trigger can sometimes be part of that, so I tried to have it come out here - as well as emphasize the fact that he feels secure enough around Daniel to act that way in front of him in the first place, instead of retreating into himself and/or masking.]

Daniel gently massaged the spot below Armand's ear, silently urging him to continue.

"The week she was supposed to give birth; it was June, it was so hot already. She went to see her father. She said she wanted him to know, the man who had abandoned his daughter to chase the drink. Oh, he was furious. The neighbors heard him screaming—calling her a whore, a sinner, a useless junkie."

[This one was hard, and unfortunately, it's a common enough scenario in real life. Some children just are unwanted and unloved, and they're treated that way. Definitely hurt to write.]

Armand paused for a breath, letting his head loll against Daniel's shoulder, pressed his face against Daniel's neck as if he wanted to feel his pulse against his skin. "He pushed her down a flight of cement stairs. She hit her head, Danny."

[Originally, I was going to have Eleni die by suicide after having a miscarriage, but just seemed much more potentially triggering to an audience since miscarriages are something many people do experience (though I definitely do tag). Ultimately, I just didn't think it was necessary to go that route to achieve a similar impact. As a writer, this one almost hurts me more because the difference is that in this version, she was excited for her baby and her future with Armand, their little family. She wanted to live!]

Daniel wrapped an arm around Armand's chest and pulled him close, tight enough to hurt. Not lovingly, to comfort, but with the instinctual urge to get him out of harm's way, too many years too late.

And now Daniel knew, or at least he thought did—the reason, or a reason, why. 

A reason Armand had taken such a keen, uncharacteristic interest in the preparations for Lestat and Louis's daughter.

A reason why "introducing" Armand and Lestat had had an outcome akin to throwing a jungle cat and a rabid dog together in a cardboard box. 

A reason behind Lestat and Armand playing Russian roulette now, as Daniel understood it. Using the needle to simultaneously reconjure and numb the memories of who they’d been once upon a time—Lestat, without expectations and responsibilities, wild and free; Armand, about to have a family for the first time in his tragic life, in the worst circumstances possible. 

And, finally, the reason Armand seemingly lost his mind and started begging him for a baby one arbitrary evening in June, out of the clear blue fucking sky.

[Listen... this fic was originally going to be a fluffy, mildly hurt/comfort two chapters. Suddenly, I had to come up with a decent enough reason for Armand to be going off the rails. This is what my brain gave me.]

Armand sat up and reached for the phone in Daniel’s hand, swiping to the left and handing it back to him.

"My only blood family," Armand murmured, touching a blurry ultrasound image on the screen that didn't especially look like anything at all. "A little girl," he smiled, sweet and subdued, the glow remerging only to fade from his eyes, confirming what he knew Daniel had already deduced, “who died along with her mother.”

[Can't lie, this is the one and only time I have ever cried over anything I wrote. I imagined what the baby looked like, if Armand ever got to see her or hold her. I named her. I'm so sad lmao I'm so sorry to end on this note. But this was actually interesting to remember, and I miss this fic in a way I haven't in a while, so thanks for the opportunity to ramble about myself I guess!]

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

The Last Night Part 1

Smoke curls from Daniel's cigarette as he lazily draws on it from the floor. The small apartment is only dimly lit with candles, and the rain is coming down hard outside. It's dark and bleak and miserable out there. It's almost romantic, being trapped in here with Armand with no power. The flames dance and cast everything with strange shadows. Armand looks as lovely as he ever has.

“Let's play a game,” Daniel suggests.

Armand looks away from the window and his face looks troubled. But the look is replaced with a smile so quickly that Daniel thinks he must have imagined it. “What sort of game, my love?”

Daniel feels a flare of warmth at the endearment. “Truth or Strip. It's like Truth or Dare, but if you don't answer you have to strip.”

“Is the aim of this game to get me to answer questions or get me naked?” Armand says, though he sounds somewhat amused.

Daniel grins and shrugs, “Either way I win.”

Armand glances back out the window. “I suppose it doesn't matter, you won't remember tomorrow anyway.”

“What? I'm not that high.” Daniel says. He's only pleasantly buzzed, feeling spacey and floaty and warm.

Armand turns and smiles at him. Daniel could swear he sees a gleam of red in his eyes. “Ask me whatever you wish, Daniel.”

Armand sits back against the wall. The studio apartment is small and has no furniture yet. Daniel had told Armand about living in one back when he was first starting out as a journalist, and Armand had wanted to try it. It's going to be cramped and Armand will be over it in two weeks, but Daniel looks forward to it. He always looks forward to these little adventures with Armand.

“Who was the first person you were ever in love with?” Daniel asks. Armand hates talking about himself, so he's going to use this opportunity. Best start with something easy.

Armand blinks. “Ah, not about how I was made into a vampire. You surprise me, Daniel.”

“Gotta soften you up first,” Daniel says. It's only half a joke. “Come on, you gotta answer or take something off.”

Armand tilts his head to the side. “Alright. It was Marius, my maker. I was fourteen or fifteen when he rescued me from the brothel. Took me into his home and taught me of the world.”

“So it was an unrequited love kinda thing?” Armand has mentioned working at a brothel before as a human. Daniel had always kind of assumed he meant as an adult. He doesn't want to think of how terrible that must have been for Armand. If this Marius guy saved him from that, no wonder he was in love with him.

Red eyes flick up to his face. “Not exactly. We soon became lovers.”

“Oh,” Daniel says flatly. He isn't sure what to say to that. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. I don't consider myself—what's the world you use these days—molested.” Armand's voice is neutral, casual. Daniel isn't sure if he should be looking deeper for signs of trauma. Armand continues, “Marius wounded me in many ways; that was not one.”

Daniel swallows. He doesn't exactly agree with Armand, but he isn't going to press him. If he wanted to say more on it, he would have. He puts out his cigarette and props up on an elbow. “Now you get to ask a question.”

Armand moves toward him and cups his face in his hands. “What more do I need to know, that I don't already, beloved? Nothing could make me love you more, it isn't possible.”

Daniel understands what he means. “If I loved you any more, I'd die.”

Armand's eyes flutter closed for a second and he touches their foreheads together. “Ask of me whatever you like, I'll tell you all. I give myself fully to you tonight.”

Daniel feels a sudden tightness in his chest, like he stepped outside mid winter with no shirt. He's afraid. This isn't like Armand. What's going on? “Armand?”

Armand draws back, hands still on his face. They feel cool and perfect. Normal people's hands feel too warm now.

(Once, when he and Armand were apart, Daniel dated a woman with cold hands. She had the iciest hands Daniel had ever encountered. When she touched him, he could pretend it was Armand. He had confessed this to Armand, and Armand had taken him in hand right there in the restaurant. He had used vampire fuckery to keep people from noticing.)

“Sh, darling, it's alright.” Armand kisses him softly, reassuringly. He locks eyes with Daniel. “Tonight, I'm giving you a gift. Something I didn't want to give you, but see now I must.”

Daniel's heart leaps. The Dark Gift! Armand is finally doing it! He lurches forward and kisses Armand on the mouth, again and again, until he's dizzy with it. “What made you change your mind, babe?”

Armand smiles sadly. (Why is he sad? They're going to be together forever! Is it about Louis? He'd never keep him from Louis. He likes Louis. Louis's good to Armand.)

“It's what you need to be happy. That's all I want, Daniel. For you to be happy.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

read it here on ao3

[newlacesleeves]

spoilers for the vampire armand (a book from 1998 so this may not be necessary but like if any of y'all wanna read it just don't click) (also lots of screaming) (and a disclaimer)

SO. CHAPTER FOUR IS A LOT.

armand is very obviously groomed by marius into this romance because in the book he's fifteen when they meet and yet it is a compelling love story like you get the sense that armand does love him and marius does too but again, it's grooming. it's abuse. but it's also a dark romance so like this is what you sign up for and i, personally, love when fiction takes it there. that's what fiction is for. this blog is not a place for assigning purity to fictional stories and here is your disclaimer: enjoying dark fiction is not condoning abuse. i am an adult and can separate fiction from reality and if others cannot do that i highly suggest they don't read that stuff.

anyway.

so later, marius sends armand away to "learn" from the brothels. okay, sure. i guess. but then armand has an affair with a travelling englishman and like THAT sets marius off but marius babe you just sent him away SPECIFICALLY TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE like you didn't think someone would develop feelings for your precious amadeo? that's on you honey. that's all on you. and then armand runs to bianca and she at least has the good sense to be like "keep your mouth shut about this to marius he's gonna be BIG MAD" (i love her honestly) and sends his ass back home.

but the WHIPPING SCENE. like you do get the sense in the scene it's a punishment but also that armand is enjoying it or at least trying to (also there is so much sex in this book WHOA like i did not expect this not that i am complaining in ANY WAY but this is most definitely the raunchiest published book i've ever read it rivals some explicit fan fic with just how much sex there is) but then as marius says he needs to leave he hits marius with --

"Master, I'll be very good, a saint. But if I'm not, will you whip me again please?"

AND OHHHHHHHHHH DAMN. DAMN DAMN DAMN. DAMN. I AM LOSING MY MIND.

like there's so much more we'll be getting into soon -- his time leading the paris coven has already been hinted at and of course his relationships with lestat and Daniel -- but like this back story. this BACK STORY. IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING HOPED IT WOULD BE.

i said i wanted to study him like a bug under a microscope and by god i am doing JUST FUCKING THAT.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello! I'm confused about something and thought that I'll ask you about this if it's okay.

So, Louis wanted Daniel to think that he killed Lestat at Mardi Gras night and that Lestat is dead. Daniel quickly calls BS and says iconic "what murder? you didn't kill him" speech which evidently destabilizes Louis mentally (he had to go to his garden to calm down). Did Louis react that way because his lies were uncovered or because he lied to HIMSELF?

Also I'm confused, did Louis plan to stop the tale right after he and Claudia ride away? If no, how he would describe the trial without Lestat being one of the major players there? I mean without Lestat being there as The Villain and telling on Claudia, Armand wouldn't be able to do his scheme (to put it lightly).

Also once again did Louis truly believed Lestat wasn't on trial? Or he was planning to lie about it? Or just don't say anything about trial at all? Or he just thought he truly didn't do anything to help Lestat survive but Lestat survived anyway? And if he did, i wonder would he put blame only on Lestat considering that even in the iwtv book where Lestat plays the role of villain and antagonist, his portrayal at trial scene was sympathetic.

I know we'll find out it next season but it's on my mind!

Thank you for answer!

Of course it's ok!!

So I think... that Louis probably wanted to change things in regards to Paris, and even about Claudia. They never got to this part in the first interview in this version of the story, they broke off when Claudia tried to run away, and Daniel wanted the blood from him.

"This is the part of my story, back in San Francisco, where you said, and I paraphrase, "Give it to me. Make me a vampire now."

In fact, I could easily see him intending to go the way the first version of IWTV went, too, namely having Claudia leave with some vamps and disappearing into the night. (Anne had trouble processing this version, and so it was changed, she obviously needed the catharsis coming with the death :/).

But for that version to work... he would need to have a clean, almost problem-free narrative in Paris. No Lestat, no trial. Now, that is impossible, because of course there will be more to it.

I think Louis reacted that way, because he knows he cannot evade the pain now. He has buried that pain, deep within himself, and Daniel made him open that box. And now the pain, this liquid, molten pain is impossible to contain. Louis stores his feelings away in little boxes in his mind, neatly tidied up, but the locks break sometimes.

And Daniel has broken in.

I think the story now will be pulled out by Daniel bit by bit... and it will be quite raw. And of course, Armand is Armand now, and he will be quite the different presence in Dubai now.