#anyways im gonna cry myself to sleep now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quaint-ignorant · 1 year

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been rereading black butler for the nth time and when i saw lizzy cry bc she would've had married o!ciel without knowing the truth i only just realized that the reason why o!ciel didnt say anything to her is probably bc he doesnt think he'll live long enough for the wedding to happen bc of the contract-

#anyways im gonna cry myself to sleep now #also i never realized how much hate lizzy got bc of these chapters ???? like bro shes not the villain here hello?????#kuroshitsuji spoilers #kuroshitsuji #black butler #black butler spoilers #ciel phantomhive #o!ciel #elizabeth midford #sebastian michaelis #(he's implied ok i just had to put him here sorry)

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demigod-of-the-agni · 1 year

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A thing for @breakfastatmiles' dtyis challenge on instagram :)

Been a while since I drew the world's most favourite boy (like. almost a year ago???? uh woops) I wanted to draw something for Percy's birthday but alas I had no idea what to draw :'') consider this late Percy Jackson b'day art

Variants under the cut

#also stop i literally just realised one of the texture images i used has the fucking “stock photo” in it im literally gonna cry #praying to every god that yall never find it. and if you do.... exclusive pictures of dino agni :)#anyway i spent probably the whole day on this. my anatomy exam is tomorrow and i know jackshit #(convincing myself that it's okay i was using anatomy knowledge to draw percy lol haha hashtag in denial and sleep deprived)#i guess now i have to go back to finishing assignments..#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson fanart #pjo fanart #pjo #myart #artoftheagni

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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the picnic table scene

#this isnt going to make sense to literally any of you for a long time and im sorry about that #but FUCK was i writing this morning #man. man man man man Man the motivation Hit #this fic might get done after all...#i need. to go sleep. OUASGAHSAKJSNCADCLSKDVMS;#THEY MAKE ME INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE #YALL ALREADY KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT #THEY MAKE ME CRAZY AGH AGH AGH #ok. ok. ill sleep. and we'll see if the scene holds up when my brain is Refreshed #absolutely unprompted #throwing myself to the ground and howling #who do i need to BITE #oh 7 am me we're really in it now #literally getting myself too worked up. im. Emotional. i almost feel like tearing up #if that was something i could do lmao #fortunately crying does not come easily to me but in my heart im like. idk. Sobbing #anyway in order to calm down im gonna go think about something that makes me equally insane #which is the OG reason i designed a butterfly look for howdy. yass!howdy's origins <3 #slamming my face through drywall ok bye im off to crazyville where i can catch a layover to sleepytown

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dogboner · 5 months

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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"

#guy who's very proud of how well he's handling things rn lol #anyways personal time:#but idk man i kinda remembered smthn from my past n #like. if it wasn't for how much effort i've put into my mental health n coping skills #n my support network now #idk id be in a much worse place.#so i'm gonna forgive myself for not really sleeping last night #n having a hard time with my bpd feelings n emotions #because fuck man! i'm doin really good actually!#growth doesn't have to be oh man i'm never ever sad anymore #it's just. idk i don't cry because i Wanna die anymore #sometimes i have an intrusive thought of suicide #and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed #but i'm not gonna beat myself up for having them. i'm just gonna be patient n gentle w myself #n give myself time #n everything will be okay(:#bc it is okay! it's in the past and i'm safe now. and i wanna make other people feel safe too #growth starts w baby steps. n that's why it's so hard to recognize in yourself a lot of the time #it goes slooooooowly. for me at least lol.#mine #despite everything i am happy because i know my life now is one i love (: and one im actively trying to better for myself

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miallurk · 9 months

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In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!

#i am losing my sanity day by day #drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day #why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about #don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha #ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't #fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess #am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story!#i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow #vent ig #my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol #nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays #at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig #anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs #when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop #anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go #please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you #i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just.#all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this #for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect #and care made me expect it more? fuck #i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person.#everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things #long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider #my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at #at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person.#my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got #to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me.#this is showing so many issues.#so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12 #i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering

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holographicbutch · 4 months

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Planning a trip to my home state rn and I'm making myself emotional

#love really is stored in the food because i keep looking at restaurants i wanna go to and almost making myself cry #also the library where i grew up looks completely different now and its wild #like its good for the library but also if i go there it will be unrecognizable. and idk how to feel about that #anyway. i cant wait for this trip im excited!! gonna meet my friend stinkle irl for the first time!!!!! YIPPEEEEE #skele says stuff #ok i gotta sleep now

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 5 months

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having a category 12 "thought about william wisp for too long" moment

#that last scene in 40 . got me fucked up so bad. motherfucker. aauagahaghhhhrrghgh.#idk if its the paranoia anxiety of animal sounds in my ceiling again finally catching up to me but im srs like.#almost starting 2 cry right now and im not even LISTENING to the episode.#thought abojt david kaufman again. fuck . part of me is like god i need 2 go listen to his lines again but the other part of me is like.#no mac you have work jn the morning and youre ALREADY not gonna grt enough sleep due to the fucking animals in your ceiling.#head in hands. we need 2 dismantle capitalist society so i can spend the next 24 hours fucking weeping over william wisp.#then maybe ill get my thoughts in order enough to actually write about him #having soioooooo many blood and gore thoughts about [redacted for spoilers] . i havent seen ANY art of it #except one like. vague abstract thing. whcih was awesome dont get me wrong. but i want 2 see something visceral.#and im not good enough at blood and gore to do it myself . plus ive burnt myself out so hard on the painting projects.#and im still not DONE with them #ughhhghgh. anyway. on 24/7 wiwi lockdown ovwr here

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eternal-brainrot · 1 year

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GUESS WHOS GETTING A NEW JOB WOOOO \^o^/ can leave this awful place lol B)

#getting a barista job :)#itll be like almost half the hours i currently do but 1. the pay is better and 2. i was told i can pick up more shifts so it id still enough #for me to get by with rent and groceries and stuff #and i hopefully wont be constantly frustrated at existence and filled with as much internal dread lol #do think its funny tho cuz the last converstaion i had with my current job was them hassling me about my disability again and now the next #time i see them im gonna be handing in my notice lol. serves them right #does mean i have to have the stress of learning a new job (will cry myself to sleep the first week of a new job lol) but it shoulf be good #once ive got the hang of things and feel less overwhelmed!!#ive always liked the idea of being a barista as well :)#only worked at my current job 2 months and that still feels like too long lmao. people never last very long here from what ive heard tbh #which just goes to show how shit it is #anyway!! a bit nervous but also very relieved

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s0re-loser · 1 year

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Remaining positive but the suicidal ideation is hitting

#ive gotta be up in like 6 hours and ive being awake crying for the last2 #i am so genuinely unhappy in a way that seems so unfixable that i dont know what to do #idk i just didn't see myself in my 20s still dealing with the same shit i did as a teenager why am i still cutting myself #and why do i still find it nect to impossible to make friends or even talk in a way that makes sense to people #it sounds so depressing but i just feel like im done watching life from the outset but the only door is offing myself #anyway sorry for posting this i just find comfort in it #im probably gonna try abd get some sleep now also sorry if any of this is cry typiing #isaac.txt #self harm tw #suicide tw

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emypony · 10 months

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#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more #this self conscious catgirl is so tired #sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok #i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment #genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me #and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media #in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end #YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months #which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me #it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us #i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place #like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically #idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i #personal #sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually #me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl #bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow #im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit #i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy #the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob #which i am feeling like right now!#vent #emy rambles #ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM #k really am #sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon #and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them #but yknow one can yearn

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scattered-winter · 1 year

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woe another tag vent session be upon ye

#one of the girls in my class looks just like her. oh my god.#like im not being dramatic i literally thought it was her in my peripheral vision.#literally almost burst into tears in the middle of the room lmaooooooo #and then for the rest of the day every time i saw someone with her hair color i just saw her.#this shit sucks fr y'all i have never almost cried in public this much #and then i had to drive to pick up some groceries and fuck.#ive never been an anxious driver. i quite enjoy driving actually.#but i literally almost had a panic attack when i first pulled onto the road. i was so fucking anxious the entire time i was behind the whee #someone came up behind me pretty fast and i legit had to pull over to calm down it was so bad #so uh. not gonna be driving for a while lol. gonna kill myself or someone else doing that.#idk. idk i think this has me pretty messed up and i probably will be for a while. idk #my roommates and i finally decorated our living room and it was . fun. we laughed and made jokes and it was fun #but well. predictably i am feeling guilty over having fun now. which sucks ass from every angle #should i probably maybe make an appointment for therapy ???? probably ???????????#idk. might be good to talk all this out out loud yk. but also i Know i will cry and i dont want to do that.#sigh. anyway.#also predictably i cannot sleep. couldnt last night either.#i might go paint in the living room. i dont know.#anyway if u read this whole rant ily ur earning the veteran's pass to Winter's Breakdown Sessions #winter speaks #personal #grief tag #<- once again if u need to blacklist. will not hold it against anybody i prommy #tw death #tw panic attack

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starlooove · 8 months

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Me realizing that when I’m doing it in the privacy of my own room with nobody around there’s no possible way I’m faking it or being over dramatic for attention.

#idk why but I have this irrational fear of ppl thinking im faking shit for attention #and it’s really not bad if I can power through it #it’s only recently that I’ve realized the fact that I force myself to power through it is why it’s that bad #like with shit with migraines saying actually yeah I’m dizzy rn and ily but if I hear ur voice I’m gonna cry oh I’m already crying #anyways current situation is I’m clumsy as hell tripped over a chord and landed directly on my palm which hurt my wrist #and imma big bitch y’all it was not light force…#oh actually my palm is stinging as I write this is this going to be an issue #it’s not a break or sprain or whatever but it hurts bad lol #mobility is not impeded in the slightest #anyways point is for a second I said ow out loud got irritated with myself bc they’re gonna think ur faking and realized the they #in question doesnt exist and it does actually hurt that bad #it’s ok tho sleep it off if it’s bad tomorrow it’s bad bad ig #but for now it’s just sheer ignorance 👎🏾

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devildairymilkfairy · 1 year

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#man im really tired of having feelings for him. i should really just keep my distance and go back to dating apps #i long for the connection we have and hate having to build up something brand new #but im really tired of feeling butt hurt everytime he sleeps with our roommate #like yeah we broke up over a year ago. and still casually do shuff. its just hard for me to turn off that side of my brain #i just want to feel loved and be held by someone without having to build the foundation all over again #ive been depressed the past few days because of it. i act irrationally and cant control my feelings #overall its better if i just let them fuck around and i try to find someone new. only problem is im anxious and not a good conversationalist #plus i hate messaging people over phone. too much anxiety abt what im saying and if the other person enjoys me or not #anyways it sucks seeing the subtle evidence that they went at it while i was away. i have no right to be upset but i cant help but think of #him as more than a friend. i cant and shouldnt but we had dated 6 years previously. its a bit difficult to turn that switch off now #dammit i guess tonight im gonna sleep alone again and try not to cry. whatever gotta get over myself and move on. have to stop only thinking #of my self and being so damn possessive all the time #ash rambles #fuck i feel worse now after typing all that out yippee..

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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