#anyways now i'm really invested so i know i'm gonna try to finish it up this week....

[ofgentleresolve]

guess who...instead of doing drafts ended up continuing the monster of a fanfic for their ocs?

[pray4saint]

My friend, do you think you could write something for dteam and chucky sammy about if they were having to sleep on the couch or something after an argument?

in the doghouse

masterlist & descrip. tv-ma. 15+. arguments. established relationships. bf!ted, bf!charlie, bf!schlatt. suggestive endings for ted & charlie, fluffy ending with schlatt.

started july 29th, finished sept 5th.

a/n. i'm writing dteam and chuckle sammy separately so here's chuckle sammy, tags: @st4rrybear & @slxtmeri

a/n 2. took like, a month off from writing this but here it FINALLY IS / as i'm finishing this, all of these feel a little out of character, esp schlatt's bc it was rushed but WHATEVER, lmk what you think

ted nivison

you don't even tell him anything, you just bring out a pillow and a blanket to the living room

your boyfriend laughs, ”are you serious?” you nod, ”as a fuckin' heart attack.” your arms remain crossed while you turn to storm off to the bedroom. he looks at your fleeting figure almost questioningly, like it still confuses him. at least until you slam the door behind you, then it becomes so much more real.

unfortunately for ted, he knew he couldn't sleep without you in his arms, or at the very least by his side. after a moment of thought and going back and forth over if it was really worth it to upset you again, he made his way down the hall and pushed the door open without a second thought. his eyes are trained on the floor when he first speaks, ”y/n, angel, honey–” and then he gets choked up, his gaze moving up to you, bare-chested. ”ted i told you to sleep on the couch!” you cross your arms over your chest and ted shakes his head, stepping closer to you. ”you know i can't do that.” he doesn't stop, his steps only getting closer. his arms find their way to yours, and his eyes train themselves on yours. ”teddy, go.” you pull one hand away and point behind him at the door. ”i can't do that either.”

you sigh, trying to keep your angered tone. ”and why is that?”

”because i'm not used to sleeping without you.” he puts on his best dramatics with his next words. ”if you send me back out there, my love, i'll just wait for you to fall asleep and find my way back in here to sleep with you anyways.” you try so hard to bite back the smile that wants so badly to peek out and say hi to him.

with matched dramatics, you let out another sigh. ”fine, but you're gonna have to make it up to me, you know that right?” you look up at him, smile tugging at your lips, and he pulls your chest flush against his chest. he leans down, voice barely a whisper in your ear. ”can i start now?” you nod breathlessly, and ted's lips attach to your neck. ”your wish is my command angel.” oh.

charlie slimecicle

'you know what charlie? you can sleep on the couch tonight.'

he yells back at you. ”but baby, i'm sorry!” you suck air in through your teeth, shaking your head at him. ”it's too late now charlie, now i'm going to bed, i suggest you get some rest.”

charlie waits for you to get back to the bedroom, genuinely debating with himself if he should just sleep on the couch and give you space or go on and beg for forgiveness. ultimately, charlie decided he'd try to sleep on the couch, alone, without you. the thought of it alone sent shivers down his spine and chills up his arms.

your boyfriend tossed and turned on the couch, trying to get comfortable, but he just couldn't. not without you. he sat up, groggy. then his head whipped around at the sound of your footsteps padding down the hallway. the flick of a light switch and the buzz of the lightbulb turned on revealed your figure, sloppily walking in, trying not to wake up too much. but it was too late for charlie, now he was invested in getting back in bed next to you.

he trotted his way back into the bedroom, trying to think of any and every possible solution to make you forgive him.

”y/n?” you jump back when you hear his voice combined with the feeling of his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. ”charlie what the fuck? you scared me.” his shoulders slump down, oops. ”i need you to forgive me. please? i'm sorry.” your eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly and when they did, you could see charlie sat on the bed, legs crossed, hands reached out to thumb circles into your sides, eyes trained on your face even in the dark.

”baby–” you place your hands on his shoulders and he lets out a deep breath. in all honesty, you'd forgotten your anger at him an hour ago, but you still knew he was like soft clay in your hands and under your gaze. ”i can forgive you, no problem, but..” his eyes brightened up and you could feel how his hands tensed against your hips. ”i need to know how you're gonna make it up to me.” your hands flip up so it's just your fingertips dancing along his shoulders. your tone is laced with faux patronisation but he doesn't pick up on it. his hands squeeze at your sides before moving around the front of the waistband of your underwear. ”maybe..” you pull the edge of your bottom lip under your upper teeth with a smile. ”that could work.”

jschlatt

'you can sleep your ass on the couch tonight.'

schlatt tilts his head at you with this condescending look. ”drop the attitude.” at his statement, you return to your argument, getting in his face about it. he tries to bite back the amused smile tugging at his lips at how upset you are before he reaches for your arm, holding you still. ”did'ya not hear me doll?” he pauses for a second, looking down at you. ”drop the fuckin' attitude.”

you have to fight the urge to laugh. ”yeah, no. i recognise that tone, you're not domming your way out of this one.” even though you said it, you weren't a hundred percent sure if you meant it, but still, you held your ground. your boyfriend groans, and his tone of voice changes. ”baby are you serious?” he's almost pleading, and it surprised you how quickly his attitude went from trying to fuck his way out of trouble to being seemingly on the verge of tears. you nod at the taller man, ”yeah. i'll bring you a pillow and a blanket.” you tell him, shaking your arm out of his hard grip before rubbing gently over the spot on your arm.

”but.. no. no no no.” he's calmer now, but still upset. he follows you all the way back to your bedroom. ”i'm sorry baby.” he says almost sheepishly and for a moment, you consider just letting it go, after all; you knew he didn't realise how important the argument was to you. but you had to hold your ground, it'd been a mistake you'd made in past relationships. ”sorry for what j?” you ask, turning around in the doorway to face him – or more accurately, look up at him. despite how much bigger he was than you, you and him both knew that you were in charge here, and despite how difficult it was to get it out, he apologised, again.

”see, now was that so hard?” you ask, a smile spreading across your face as your hands reach up to hold his cheeks. he scoffs and fights the urge to roll his eyes. ”n-no.” you pull his face closer to yours and press a small kiss to his lips. ”you can come to bed later, alright?” he perks up and moves his arms around you, nodding with a wide grin. by later, you meant when he was actually ready to go to bed because you know streamers (no matter how rare they stream), basically nocturnal. ”i love you sweetheart.”

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[oodlyenough]

alright first impressions of the giggle

i'll start off with the big one which is that despite my best efforts to avoid spoilers, people always think they're cleverer than they are when communicating "in code" about leaks, and misc. pieces of info had led me to a general impression that somehow, some way, there would still be a david tennant doctor left at the end of this. so i went in half-expecting it (and half trying to manage those expectations)

it's totally bonkers and i know it must be enraging at least half of the fandom but i am in the privileged position of ... not caring. lol. it's probably a combination of factors -- he's my fave anyway + i haven't been deeply invested for the past decade + there's been numerous big lore changes i haven't liked by this point so whatever! everything's made up and the points don't matter. this show would've ended already if it wasn't constantly doing some weird thing to upset the status quo. the main criticism i can agree with is that maybe this takes away from ncuti gatwa ... but honestly i do see the appeal of "multi-doctor ep except one of them is the new guy". like that was fun actually, even if it had never occurred to me

settling down with the nobles felt like journey's end 2.0 (now with bonus TARDIS), and raises a lot of questions that i can imagine showrunners down the line and/or Big Finish are dying to answer. there is probably a time that would've bugged me but it doesn't bug me now.

anyway with that out of the way, other stuff!

i was worried this might be too big and chaotic in the way RTD finales can get -- think end of time, specifically. so i was actually pretty impressed that it felt fairly coherent to me lol, while feeling very RTD

"screens are making humans the worst versions of themselves" is also very RTD. hard to argue w that in 2023 to be honest with you

i don't know the toymaker from classic who but i enjoyed him a lot here as a villain. felt a bit like the master, except unlike the master there's no affinity between him and the doctor, y'know. it felt sinister, the misc accents, everything.

last week i watched Last of the Time Lords again and said "i can't wait to see what RTD does with licensed music again" and lo! lmaoooo. loved it

i think a consequence of the ep having to do so much was that the companions' roles were fairly limited. when donna said "maybe i'll save your life" i assumed she uh ... would. and then i assumed something metacrisis-y. but I suppose Donna's save the world moment was Star Beast.

likewise, it was nice to have Mel there, but she didn't do a ton. however i know we get to see more of her next season so I'm kinda fine with it. and looking forward to it!

anyway the other big important thing this episode -- NCUTI GATWA omg. he's gonna be so good. was so good in these scenes. magnetic. sexy. fun. can't wait. loved that we got to see him interact with donna a bit too!! i wasn't really expecting that.

[sinni-ok-sessi]

Five ships in five fandoms

with thanks to @tallangrycockatiel for the tag

Well, there's the Enterprise, obviously, the Surprise, the Terror, the Indefatigable...

OK no, I will do this properly

1. Lin Chen/Mei Changsu/Xiao Jingyan (Nirvana in Fire)

Coming in first and surprising absolutely nobody! I am so very onboard with any and all permutations of the Greater Liang Polycule, but I have a special fondness for Guy Who Is Very Invested In Mei Changsu and Guy Who Is Very Invested In Lin Shu becoming jointly Guys Who Are Very Invested In Keeping This Idiot Alive In Spite Of Himself. Also I love angst and this ship offers the incredible buy one get one free deal of grief that your best friend now has someone else who knows more of his secrets and grief that your best friend is burning his life up in service of someone else, all turning on the fulcrum of a man who would probably just die on the spot if he let himself feel one tenth of the things he's been repressing for the last decade. Also, I love characters who won't say what they mean, so. You know.

2. Charley Pollard/Eighth Doctor (Doctor Who Big Finish Audios)

God, they're so weird about each other. It's not romantic but it's not not-romantic and also at one point they eat each other's corpse in an anti-time universe (I think? It's been a while since I listened to Scherzo) and I remember experiencing a lot of confusing and proto-aromantic feelings over them when I was seventeen, so they deserve a mention

3. Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames (The Terror)

YES I FEEL WEIRD ABOUT IT OK. Constantly I am playing this game with my brain where a fic can neither be too historically inaccurate nor too obviously Just Straight-Up RPF and let me tell you, this narrows my options considerably. BUT. Hhhh. The fact that they're doomed from the start. The way both of them, through sheer effort of will, put aside the selves they've been playing and better, truer people, in circumstances that really would have justified the opposite. They're doomed and they keep trying anyway. I'm going to go stare at a wall now and maybe bite something.

4. Kirk/Spock (Star Trek TOS)

I know, I know, I'm basic, but look, I didn't get an E in C4 maths because I was too busy writing k/s fic to revise to deny this truth of my heart now. What can I say, I love a man who is repressing a planet's worth of emotions at any given time. I love gentle bickering, I love putting your life in someone else's hands with absolute trust, I love this simple feeling. Ok, gonna go stare at a different wall for a bit now

5. Crowley/Aziraphale (Good Omens)

This one's dedicated to last summer, when I spent three months losing my goddamn mind, having been a casual Good Omens enjoyer for years at that point. I love all the permutations of these characters, but I do especially love watching Michael Sheen and David Tennant's faces do things. I think I mentioned before my love of characters who won't say what they mean, and I especially enjoy SIX THOUSAND YEARS OF IT AND COUNTING. Also, as someone who didn't so much break with the church as saunter vaguely away, GO fic sure does tap some long-buried part of my psyche.

~

I have all the object permanence of a concussed goldfish, so I'm almost certainly forgetting some personality-defining ship, but! I have done my best and no one should criticise me!

tagging @betweencrossedblades @trans-cuchulainn (you can count each tain recension as a separate fandom if you like), @cendiar , @bitterflames and anyone else who'd like to do it

[blueikeproductions]

I know you've said a few times that the most logical step for Transformers would be a new anime, but I don't think that's true. Don't get me wrong, a new TF anime would be cool, but there just isn't a big enough market over there to justify it. With how interlinked Hasbro and Takara are with the franchise, it'd have to be a joint collab like the Unicron Trilogy, and the issue with that is Transformers is not nearly as popular in Japan as it was back then. And even back then, it was only relatively niche compared to the West. There hasn't been a completed Japanese dub of a Transformers show since Animated, and I'm pretty sure the Earthspark dub is a web-exclusive. Why would Takara invest in a full-blown anime when they can't even get the existing shows to land over there?

Yeah that’s the tricky part.

Prime & Cyberverse utterly tanked, RiD15 seemed to do better (and honestly looking back the Starscream arc was pry the best place to stop anyway), and I have no idea how well EarthSpark is doing down there. I get the impression Japan doesn’t care much though.

Mostly I think an anime would do well in general after Bravern sorta reignited an interest in super robots, and anime is really the only thing doing well right now anyway, so it would make sense to try an anime again to capitalize on the new boom.

The problem is beyond returning to stuff like Optimus having a Super Mode, I don’t really know what you’d DO as a hook for toys.

Going by trends, it would probably be based on the 13 Primes’ relics, being collected by the Autobots & Decepticons and the relics having a Mini-Con/Cyber Key style power up, functionally being a spiritual successor to the Unicron Trilogy with bits of RiD01 included like its own relic hunt, Side Burn, Scourge and Sky-Byte.

Really I’m only focusing on how western kids would approach it because unless it’s anime or older cartoons, they largely don’t care. I don’t know if TF can really be saved in Japan and Prime & Cyberverse’s offering didn’t help at all. One was too serious, one was too Lol Random, I think RiD and Cyberverse are lucking out being a happy medium, though it’s no guarantee EarthSpark is gonna continue past its first season down their either, or even finish its season for that matter.

[smolweeblets]

Sleepytime Pt. 2

Hana "D.Va" Song x Reader

Dating D.va was not an easy ordeal. There were many problems with dating a hardcore gamer. Much less one who just so happened to be a huge internet celebrity. Having little quality time and always having to remind her to do basic self care were just some of the few problems you found yourself having.

But one of the major gripes you had was that you barely got to sleep with her. Late at night, if she wasnt smoothening out some brand deals or editing some clips, she would be gaming. Like right now.

You miraculously managed to wrangle her into the bed, after negotiations, but in the few minutes you had to go and brush your teeth, you find her on her phone now, playing some shooter game you didnt care to remember the name for.

“Hana, you said youd finally sleep.” You frowned as you poked at your girlfriends cheek, beckoning her to finally go to sleep.

“Well… technically I just said I’d go to bed, and I am in bed right now.”

You groaned at the quip.

“Hana Song I am this close to strangling you.” You pinched your fingers together and almost let them touch. Almost.

“Nah, you love me too much to do so.” She smugly smiled.

You scoff. “Youre right, what I am able to do though, is this.” You swiftly snatch her phone from her hands and prevent her from reaching for it back.

“Wha-! Hey!” Hanas face falls and she urgently tries to get her phone back from your grasp, but the determination to get your girlfriend to sleep stopped her from doing that whatsoever.

“Y/nnn- give it back! I was gonna sleep right after that match!” She whined.

“Yeah? Like how just earlier you were on your computer begging for 5 more minutes for a whole hour?”

Hana went quiet and huffed while crossing her arms.

“I meant it this time.” She looks away and pouts.

“Yeah? Well too bad. I’ve run dry outta patience. Sleep. Now.”

“Ugh. Fine. Just lemme exit the game and turn off my phone properly.” She reached her arms out for the phone, but you ignored them. Yeah right, she was just gonna use that as an excuse to finish her game.

“No. Get on the bed and go to sleep.”

“But babe! If you dont let me do that the phones might explode and kill both of us!” Hana was trying her best not to laugh at her own reasoning to give the phone to her.

“At least we die together. And well rested.” You lay on the bed and move a spot on the covers for Hana to slip into.

“Agh. Fine. But if you cause like a million of my fans to cry they're never gonna forgive you.” She pouts as she gets in and snuggles up to your side.

“That's a risk I'm willing to take. Good night.” You wrap your arms around her and pull her closer to you. Discreetly putting the phone away on the nightstand.

“... ‘Night” She turns and gives you a small kiss, before finally succumbing to sleep.

~~~~~~

“Holy shit, I still won that match last night, looks like I dont even need to be playing to carry our team to victory!”

You groaned as you ruffled Hanas hair. Too groggy to give a proper response. Seriously, where did she get all that energy? Maybe you should invest in some of those nano colas yourself.

A/n: Is it really a smolweeblets fic if theres no pointless authors note at the end? Anyway, I decided to write a pt. 2 for sleepytime bc I was bored and the scenario was cute, this will probably not be a series but like who knows.

Originally I wanted to name this "eepy" instead but i decided against it

[gayweedanimal]

Since I gotta be up for work in like 3 hours and can't sleep I might as well talk new years resolutions. Here's mine:

Long ass post so I'm readmore

Read every day: I've been collecting books for a while now and have a huge backlog of super interesting stuff to read. The only thing holding me back is making time to do it.

Write every day: Similarly, I have too many half baked projects/ideas that I need to actually finish. The perfectionist in me has been keeping me from finishing things for years, and for what? Fear of putting out something bad? Some of my favorite things in the world are bad. I already put out bad art all the time, and I love it. I've been struggling with this part of myself for far too long and it's time for it to die.

Organize my information better: I'm a notorious note-taker, but they're always very disjointed and arcane. So I guess that means I'm a bad note-taker. I've been using Obsidian more and more over the last few months and been building better information collection habits to use it to its full potential. Sometimes the first step is just to accept that your memory is shitty and learn to efficiently externalize things. Building off of that...

Manage my time better: I have so much shit going on at any one time it's often overwhelming. ADHD and my various neuroses certainly don't help. I've been doing various things to work on this but I need to stick to them better.

Finish Somnium: I put out a whole one (1) episode last year because I dreamt too big with my episode plans and didn't have the tools to bring them to fruition the way I wanted to - I need to push myself to actually finish more. This year's goal is manageable - 4 episodes.

Learn Japanese: I just think it's a neat language. Maybe one day I'll visit Japan; there's so much I want to see there. I know that seems like a far flung dream right now, but life happens fast.

Work out more: not much to say here, I just need to keep up this habit and push myself harder to build strength.

Get my driver's license: I've almost always lived in areas where I've just never needed to drive, but now that my sister has her's I feel like it's finally time to check this box lol.

Make more money: it's getting harder and harder to keep things afloat (as I'm sure is news to absolutely nobody) even with my pretty decent full time job. I'm assuming I won't get a raise, and also hoping I won't get laid off, but even still I need to get some sort of consistent side hustle doing web design or something similar.

God this really seems like a lot when I write them all down... I'm going to stick to them though. I probably won't kick all of these off at once just to not burn myself out, but I'm gonna do them all.

I really can't live without being able to set goals and make progress on them anymore, even if the progress is slow, even if things slide backwards or I fall off for months or years. I lived with soul crushing suicidal depression for so long and it really made it difficult to believe that my life was worth living or that it was worth investing in my skills or my future. I know a lot of people still think that way and I'm not the best at helping them, and that what worked for me doesn't work for everyone. But seasons change, wounds heal, and in the end, it's always worth it to invest your time in bettering yourself and to keep moving ahead.

Man, I don't know where the fuck I was going with all that but I'm leaving it in. Also why the hell am I writing this long ass post... I barely post here anymore. Anyway fuck it I'm gonna try to sleep AGAIN wish me luck at work in... 2 and a half hours. Happy new year ya filthy animals.

[koumeowkami]

🪐 no celestial ; kanallen

— chapter three

"Kanata was a poor little angel that heaven couldn't help. He'd always been a tough one, not trusting anyone but his little brother Nayuta, the only person that ever made him feel love. Growing up by themselves, he did everything in his power to protect his sick brother, things that dirtied his holy hands. "It's for a good cause though", he thought. But it wasn't enough, and Nayuta died soon after.

Kanata's soul was completely spent. He became unable to feel love, and adding to his dirty dealings that soon were found out, he got cast out of heaven. Fallen on Earth with his wings blackened, he felt so lost and empty he thought he could've just died.

But a random encounter with a very annoying, persistent, stupid redhead human boy would've made him discover love again."

1430 words

genre: supernatural, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

previous ✧ next

Allen was finally back to his apartment, tired and with his mind clearly elsewhere. It was almost 3 AM. While he was trying really hard to be as quiet as possible, the lights in the living room were suddenly turned on.

"Where the hell were you!?"

Standing there was Anne, arms crossed and a scowl on their face. Hajun was behind them, looking immovable as always.

"Do you have any idea how late it is? I thought you fell asleep in front of your laptop!" Anne whispered-shouted, getting closer to Allen looking at him inquisitively. They might look cute and all but God, were they scary when angry.

"Sorry... I just took a detour when coming here. Tonight's soft breeze is so relaxing..." Allen replied, smiling softly with his head lowered. For some reason, he couldn't tell them about his encounter in the park. Well, he'd probably never see Kanata again anyways, would he?

Anne kept looking at him weirdly, as if they were trying to spot a lie, but in the end they accepted his answer. "Well nevermind, it's too late for a discussion now. We have school tomorrow so we'd better head to bed" they said yawning, and went towards their room. Hajun, who had been silent the whole time, got closer to Allen. "Don't go wander so late ever again, alright? Because if you don't get up in time for class the next day, we're leaving you here" he whispered, flashing a smile that made Allen gulp in fear.

"Understood."

Probably half an hour had passed, and Allen still had his eyes fixed on the ceiling of his room. He just couldn't stop thinking about what happened that night. For some reason, he was instantly attracted to that kid, as if he was put under some spell. He felt like he couldn't leave him alone. Behind the rage in those galaxy-colored eyes he saw so much suffering, one he couldn't ever imagine. Behind that steel barrier he put in front of his heart, he could feel his loneliness. He wasn't able to understand why Kanata would force himself to deny that despite everything.

Frustrated, he got up and sat in front of the window, gazing at the shining moon.

"How can I go beyond that wall of yours?"

— ☾ —

"...Allen? Hello? Earth to Allen!"

With a gasp, Allen paused the music in his headphones and raised his head from his songwriting notebook. He was faced with a pouting Anne, who was sitting across from him at one of the university's cafeteria tables.

"Huh? What is it...?"

"Look, I know you always get invested when doing anything that has to do with hiphop, but you've been really out of it for the past week. I've been calling you for five whole minutes!" they said, exasperated.

"Are you okay? You haven't even had your lunch yet" Hajun pointed to the ramen sitting beside the notebook, "We have class in fifteen minutes, so hurry up please. I don't want to be late because of you." he said, sipping on his coffee.

"Don't worry, I'm okay! It's just that I'm having trouble with this one... I haven't gotten much sleep lately either" Allen smiled, "I'm gonna finish lunch quickly, you guys can go already!"

Anne and Hajun took their bags. "We're waiting for you in the hallway, alright?"

"Sure thing! See you there!"

— ☾ —

Hajun and Anne walked, an awkward silence filling the air.

"So..." Anne started, looking at the boy beside them, "Have you also noticed something weird about Allen, lately?"

"Of course I did. He's awful at lying and keeping secrets, he wears his heart on his sleeve after all." Hajun said, "It all started when he came home late the other day..."

"Yeah. He always looks like there's something on his mind but he won't tell us! Ugh, it's so frustrating!" Anne pouted again, slightly gripping their hair, "I know he doesn't want us to worry... but if something is troubling him I don't wanna leave him alone!" they said, closing their hands in a punch, resoluted.

"Oh Anne, you're so cute~" Hajun teased playfully at the little display of protectiveness from Anne. "Shut up! I know damn well you'd do the same for him, even though you pretend not to!" they replied while crossing their arms.

"I wonder?" he giggled, while his eyes confirmed Anne's words.

— ☾ —

"Guys, I'm gonna head out for a bit to breathe some fresh air! I'll be back for dinner!"

Allen sprinted towards the park. There was one in a million possibilities that Kanata would still be there, but he wanted to see that with his own eyes. He hadn't stopped thinking about their conversation for the whole week, he tried to pour his feelings on a piece of paper like he always did, but something was missing. He thought that seeing Kanata would've cleared up his mind a bit.

The park was already almost empty when he got there, most people were already heading back home or going to eat somewhere; he immediately reached the most hidden part, where he was sure Kanata would be hiding, then wandered slowly to catch him, but to no avail.

"Tch. You're here again."

Allen turned around, eyes widened.

"You're still... here?" he said, looking over at the boy. His once white clothes got dirtier than the time before, his long hair a bit tousled, his eye bags bigger, his skin paler. Allen's heart was hurting. "Why does he keep doing that to himself?" he thought.

"Not that I could be anywhere else. I'm too tired to walk around this huge city" Kanata sat on a bench, "Didn't I tell you to fuck off, the other day? But you still came to me... you're really that stupid, huh."

His piercing gaze intimidated Allen slightly, but he still stepped forward. No matter what, he had to make his words reach the boy.

"Well... I just wanted to see you. You've been on my mind for a while" he said shyly, looking somewhere else, "And I still have a promise to keep after all. I really wanna understand you better."

"The only thing you gotta understand is that I wanna be left alone and yet you keep annoyin' me and bein' a creep. So I'm gonna tell you again, fuck off."

Allen looked at him properly and clenched his fists. There it was, that huge wall in front of his heart again. He didn't want to forcefully pry into Kanata's past, but he also didn't like standing there and watching him suffer. That boy surely didn't deserve it, despite what he said.

"I'm not going anywhere. Why do you want me not to get close to you? I'm not scared of you..." he got a bit closer, approaching him steadily but still not too much, "And no matter how much you push me away, I'll come back, 'cause I know deep inside... you don't wanna be alone. I know the loneliness in your heart, I know the pain-"

"...You don't know shit about me!!"

Kanata stood up, gritting his teeth. He pushed Allen, who only moved slightly. "Who do you think you are? Thinkin' you know me oh so well to make such stupid assumptions. You don't know all the shit I went through, the reasons why I ended up like this..." he said shivering, "You don't know why I deserve... all of this..."

"All I know is that you don't deserve it! I can feel you're not a bad person, and no matter what you did, there's always a second chance! The world is full of possibilities!"

"You're so naive it's pathetic... is your head filled with flowers and butterflies? Only the gifted ones are given second chances. If you've gone once through the mud, you're stuck in the dirt forever." Kanata wasn't looking at Allen anymore, the latter's eyes too intense they made him flinch. "Wake the fuck up, Suzaku. This is the real world, a fuckin' pile of garbage!"

Allen's gaze softened, but still let his tenacity flow out. "Well... if you put it like that, then I'm gonna prove you wrong. I will be the one to give you a second chance!" he said smiling proudly, "How about you move in with me and my roommates? Don't worry, we'll give you lots of personal space! The apartment is big after all and-"

"...He said what!?"

"Anne, you should lower your voice..."

Allen heard some not so muffled voices behind the bushes and immediately turned around.

"Anne... Hajun...!?"

[fettuccinewrites]

I AM HERE to give a fic review nobody asked for but i have no one else to talk about it

I have finished CWM couple hours ago and i've been obsessing over it ever since. Firstly would like to point out that cwm was already in my reading list and when i decided to start reading it after sending you that first ask i kept asking myself "why didn't i read it sooner?" cause i do have a severe case of love square brainrot and i have an unresolved passion with ice skating so why haven't i read that indeed.

Then I got the scene in which Adrien's ed is revealed and it was a big OH THAT'S WHY moment for me. I have been recovering from an ed myself for years and i try to avoid the topic because i dont think i'm there yet yk? ANYWAYS. That did make my reading take a little longer than planned, out of caution really, but nothing i couldn't handle (my therapist will be very proud). On that note, I would like to apologize for needing to skip some of the more in-depth ed related parts, but to also congratulate you on the way you handled the subject. I don't usually feel safe reading these type of stories, but cwm was an exception due to your writing and story telling skills.

MOVING ON cause i feel cringey talking about my ed but you really deserve the praise for this

It really is amazing how well you are able to sell rivals to lovers narrative. dymdc and cwm both had me invested in their rivalry. It didn't feel forced, the progression of the relationship had incredible pacing and the reasons behind were believable. Like, writing this trope is so hard because it's easy to fall in traps of the narrative – not making the rivalry strong enough or making it too strong and having to bullshit a reason to end it – but you do it SO WELL. LIKE. i actually don't have words, I keysmashed three times over this so yeah i guess that's what i have to say.

Something I would also like to point out: the choice of performances. bruh. You matched the characters vibes to the choreographies so well. Like I know nothing about the fem skater from the 2010 phantom of the opera but I can see Lila so clearly in her expressions that makes me want to punch her in the face. The way the snake dance has Kagami's seriousness and precision and Luka's edge and style. *chefs kiss*

Now on the note of Moulin Rouge for Adrienette, i feel like keysmashing is not enough i need to bark. The way the story of the performance is a parallel to their relationship AND andrien's condition. Part of me thought he was going to die. I lost cound how many times I cried while reading this and I wish I could have recorded the way i GASPED when they came in twelfth. Had me shaking and tearing up ngl.

The one thing i did not understand tho was why Marinette kept that Gabriel remade their costumes a secret. Like I get Adrien making his piece with the relationship with his bio father, and deciding not to pursue one with him anymore, but Marinette not telling him felt a little shady for me. Maybe I missed something, but I don't think that shutting that door was up to her. I like the ending for Gabriel and Adrien, but idk maybe i just don't like that Marinette kept it a secret from him.

Alright I think I've said enough for one ask holy shit look at the size of this so i'm gonna stop it here. I think I said everything I wanted to say, but if I remember anything else – and I'm still welcome in here –i'll come back to dump more unrequited opinions.

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing work with us 🧡

omg! thank you!! one thing about me is i LIVE for long comments, particularly about cwm (my forever favorite story) so you are always welcome

i figured the ed parts would be difficult for some people to read, so they are 100% skippable & i’m glad you were able to take advantage of that and still enjoy the story ❤️

i love that you actually went and looked up the performances bc i just feel like it enhances the reading experience so much??? moulin rouge felt like the ONLY choice for them, i am soooo glad the parallels were noticed bc it was very much my intention :)))))

re: costumes… really just needed to wrap up that plot line and didn’t know how else to do it haha. I’d spent far too long on it already, and thought of it as like a parting gift kinda thing? A was done with G so (in my head) she didn’t see a reason to tell him, i guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

anywayyyyy always happy to talk cwm! or writing! or dymdc! or anything else <3333

[tetrakys]

Hi. How are you? It's been a while since I have written a message here, but I've always had an eye on your profile and I wanted to thank both of you and Chino from the bottom of my heart for giving us the ANE story of Eldarya we all deserved to have, our little hearts are less heartbroken :))

Now I am wondering just as much as the others in the community how new gen candy is gonna be like. 😂😂😂

Truth be told, I am a little worried that no matter if they're gonna try their best or not, there will be a though crowd to impress due to recent events and I don't blame anyone for being skeptic, it will be hard to beat the original MCL that we all love and grew up with. I never tried Moonlight lovers or Uncoven, so IDK why they've never been an interesting subject of interest. Henri's Secret sincerely should have been left like that, only with the first season, the second one was a waste of time and money.

Getting back to New Gen, unfortunately, because of the comparison that will be between this and the previous series, the risk of not being successful is pretty high and I really hope it won't happen. It will be hard for them to have another failed project like Eldarya ended up for example. I never understood why I loved Eldarya TO so much (do you know how to answer that question for yourself?). I discovered it very late, despite MCL, but it still means so much to me and I'm sad that it's probably gonna end this way, with these 20 failed chapters. 💔

To answer my question, maybe because everything just made sense and worked together perfectly: the plot, the characters, the references, the harsher topics which made it real and somehow relatable.

Anyways, keep up with the good work girl and I will be back with a feedback that you will be asking for or not after finishing the story (I love writing, so who cares as long as I'm enjoying myself 😅). Sending love and hugs to you and the community. 🫶

Hello! Lovely to see you 💕 thank you for following me and the kind message, let me answer everything (long post, I'm putting it under the cut).

About New Gen:

You're very right, it's gonna be hard to impress people, I'm fully expecting part of the fandom to claim that the new LIs aren't as good as the old ones for the simple fact that there's no replacing your first love. I'm also expecting some people to hate on the game just because it's Beemoov and they would hate the company even if they found the cure for HIV. But I also thing that the game has the potential to bring a breath of fresh air to the fandom. Lots of people have left and haven't come back even to play Alternate Life, maybe a similar game but with a new story and new characters will make tired people and new people interested. Personally I just love Chino's characters, the way she brings life to them, in her 3 games I've managed to fall in love every single time so I'm fully prepared to do it again. I've never been able to get so attached to other games' characters even if I enjoyed them. I guess at the end of the day it's just a matter of personal preferences, her writing just click with me. Which brings me to Eldarya...

About Eldarya TO/ANE:

Why I loved Eldarya TO? 🤔 Firstly, as I mentioned before, I enjoyed the characters even the secondary ones, even the ones I hated (*cough*Miiko*cough*), I just got attached to them. I also started playing Eldarya late, it was 2018 or 2019, when the game first came out it was in French only and then I never kept up with it. Then I joined Tumblr, saw people playing and decided to play as well. I started with Nevra because he was the one dressed in all black and looked a little like a bad boy, turns out he was the ladies' man route instead, not exactly my type but I am still attached to him as he was my first. While I was playing his route I got super invested in wanting to tame Ezarel, he was such a bish, so I had to make him fall for me. In the end I got over him the moment I won the challenge and I got him lol, I spent the rest of his route trying to get with Lance with no success, obviously. After that I tried Leiftan because he was clearly in my eyes the "main guy" but I'm a shallow person when I play these games and I've never been able to move past his clothes, hair and general fakeness. I love him though, when he's his real daemonic self, just not my perfect type. Then I played Valkyon because he was the last one left and oh boy... I fell for him hard. I still bonk myself for having left him for last. However, I think we all know here that my one true love is his brother and I've spent years trying to have him to end up with... whatever his ANE version is. As I said I love Chino's characters, and since Eldarya was given to another creator you can SEE that the characters aren't the same. I've seen a couple of people upset when I say that Eldarya's characters aren't the same, they claim that the way they are now is a natural consequence of what they lived through those 7 years time lapse and NO I'm sorry I will never be able to agree with this. Game characters' aren't real people, they exist only in the way their creator makes them exist, if the creator changes they are very literally the definition of different people. ANE LIs are what ANE writer and creator see them as, which is not what TO writer and creator saw them as. It's really, quite literally, a different game. Including the way dialogues and events are written. I LOVED TO's darker themes and I loved the potion plot. TO wasn't a perfect game by any means but it made me feel things, now I just feel nothing when I play Eldarya. It makes me really sad. (And I haven't managed to keep playing since episode 14 :( )

About The Dragon's Call:

Thank you for liking our story 💕💕 writing it is cathartic for me, not only because of the game, but also because life has been a bit tough this past year and I'm fully aware Chino is indulging me only because she cares (and also cares about all the players who love Eldarya of course). I want to get to the point where I have Lance's (and Valkyon's) route complete and I can read it whenever I feel like I miss him. Honestly I wish someone else would've written it so I could've just enjoy it as a reader 😂 but at least I hope I'm doing the characters justice. And yes please come back to give me feedback whenever you want I really appreciate it! 💕

Sorry for the loooong rambling, hope to see you around here again 😊

[cwispyhologwam]

POSSESION Karkat X M!human OC

I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK NOR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS 

Tags: Lots and lots of swearing but its Carkat so we all expected it.

GO! (PROLOGUE)

Karkat: Be the annoyed fucker. >>>>>>>>

WHO, in the fresh titted blue nook eating, pit licking, buldge shitting FUCK thought it was a good idea to have school start at 7:55 in the morning?! That person should be given a slow painful and tortuous fucking death and i personally would love to be there to watch. I should not have to wake up this motherfucking early to go learn some idiotic bullshit only to graduate and earn nothing but a gogdamn motherfucking piece of shit worthless ass paper that reads diploma! Only to go back to school, again! Seriously, what the fuck, whoever made school must have really hated the fucking human race, I know I fucking do but still! I am practically a GOD, these disgusting nook sniffing asswipes shouldn't even be aloud to breathe the same air  that I am, therefore I should not be fucking conscious much less getting fucking clothes on, to waste my fucking gas to go to this nook smelling buldge invested worthless shit hole humans call a high school!

'Shit, I'm gonna be late' no motherfucking breakfast for this fucker, good thing Kankri's at his dorm, I am not in the goddamn mood for his bullshit triggers, speaking of that fucker didn't he make some dry ass brownies for the new neighbors? Shit I was supposed to bring those to them yesterday 'FUCK ME' damn it I don't have the time right now, I've gotta make sure my stupid motherfucking worthless piece of trash car works in this shitty weather, how the fuck do humans survive this bullshit season with all their fleshy worthless skin anyways?! I made my way outside to the shitty transportation device humans call a car 'This planet and its shitty disgusting species is gonna be the fucking death of me. GOG its cold as shit! I got in the car and TRIED to start it up, getting nothing but a few clicks in response i slammed my head on the steering wheel ver much accepting and inviting a cold ass miserable death that a god such as i deserves 'So, this is the way its gonna end huh? because I'm so fucking close to shoving the most ragged, coldest sharpest gogdamn most pain inducing icicle down my motherfucking throat!

*Knock, knock, knock*

The fuck was that? I looked up out my window. 'OH HELL NO'

CLIFF HANGA

Sorry itssorta short I didn't want to make it too long on the prolog though so yeaaah it'll get betterand longer sooo yeah ill try to actually finish stay warm my friends, (459 words)

[gayspock]

man has a crisis and continues wathcing

i think im gonna finish it cuz honestly my brainhas been cooked for days. ive had 5 hours sleep as in 5 hours total these past 3 days and i cannot fucing operate on any higher plane than watch this popcorn tv shit

i think another way this would have worked so much better. and im on ep 7 btw. yes thats right. i blacked out now im on ep 7. is again if this was so much slwoer BECAUSE LIKE. i feel like all of these reveals, in og orphan black, would be spread out over like 2-3 seasons. not a condensed 8 episodes. and it would feel so much fucking better because of it

BUT ALSO. sorry that wasnt even my point. anyway just take kira out of it completely. everything i said about this not making sense cuz just resonates truer and truer the more i watch. but also i feel like her perspective is jsut..l. its not just a lame fucking "twist" to b egin with. but i feel like it would have worked so much better coming from eleanors pov

like listen. if we met eleanor FIRST and got to know eleanor FIRST it would have been so much more impactful to me. a slow reveal on who kira really is would have meant way more. but i think cuz theyre arbitrarily trying to tie it back to the og orphan black AND are trying way too hard to endear us to kira .... its like. whatever burger.

and i think that aside on her cheating.watching eleanor spiral and go off and do that whilst all the while convinced something is not right with her wife. if maybe her, jules and lucy... maybe if they had not got any close to their individual reveals, and this ENTIREEE SEASONNN was them trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with their lives and finally meeting at the END of the season. so wthere could be some tension some fucking build up some fucking feeling of stakes instead of jsut

ok. reveal reveal reveal. go from point a to point b. no crafting of actual situations that are hard to fight through. no complex layering of messes like in the original ob. thats what i liked about the showww man. ARGH.

its like again. its just so... shallow.

popcorn ass tv

they love an evil asian though dont they. they balanced everything out with our dear wes but help me

like darros and his little spawnling is also a cool concept if again. it was not like instantly fucking jsut. dropped.

i feel like they keep saying shit at the camera too. god help me

IS IT JUST LIKE THE WAY TV HAS CHANGED IN THE PAST 10 YEARS. LIKE IS THIS WHAT IT IS NWOW. sorry is that lame and cynical

also i have 0 fucking investment in lucy. i donot fucking care. they havent built up shit.

i fucking wish we could see some rawness from her. like jesus fucking christ. if the entire conceit of thecharacter is shes like lost and doesnt know who she is can we FEEL SOME OF THAT. PLEASE. MY FUCKING GOD.

AGAIN GOD ITS JSUT LIKE BACK TO BACK RVEEAL BUT ITS LIKE

LOOK YOU HAVE TO EARN IT FIRST IM SORRY YOU HAVE TO FUCKING EARN IT

ITS LIKE THIS SHOW DESPERATELY WANTS TO BE SOMETHING INSANELY GOOD BUT IT DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO IT. LIKE THE PIECES ARE THERE AND THEY COULD FUCKING WORK BUT THEY WONT... DO ITTTT RIGHT HELP ME

i like how they say I'm a Printout

like who the fuck would understand any of this shit

IM

SORRY LIKE THIS SCENE WITH LUCAS I DONT EVEN CARE

AGAIN WHY ARE THEY GOING SO FAST IM JUST BEWILDERED NOW LIKE

bro iknow im on ep 7 i dont know if i can even do thsi

is that a cgi dog

WHY doeshe look like scooby do

also like god i dont know there is a way they could have done this in so few eps as well if they scaled it way the fuck back like hello help me

ok no

i think ihaveto stop watching this

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary157

2/18-19/2024

sunday - monday

ate popcorn and feel kind of sick.

otherwise though, feeling good. working on the 2nd of the 2 problem songs rn, it's def getting there.

and now i think it's there. the other also feels 'there' even if it's just roughly.

i also just finished the gut thing i started last night, very cool.

the next one is gonna be kind of a doozy, i think, as well, so tomorrow i'll probably spend a long time on that, and then the next day, i have a monster, maybe i can drink that and do a bunch of something. i kind of hope i can put that energy to writing though.

also it is late and i kept saying i had to work in the morning tomorrow but that changed, it's now 6 pm to 9pm, which is better for me in every way, basically. it'll give me more time to do music before work and also keep the workout routine up w/o having to insert a weird rest day into it.

the 2nd trouble song, i feel like i want the guitars to have a little more high end, i'll try that now but i just wonder if that's part of what the saturating is doing..

it's an easy test/fix so it's nbd.

and yayy it sounds good.

and hopefully soon i can get my card situation squared away so i can order clothes from japan and then take a bunch of annoying + vain selfies in clothes that make me feel cute and not ugly or something.

speaking of clothes, i have this rlly tiny cardigan i love because it goes w/ everything as a nice layer when i can't figure anything else out, it's like a perfect piece of clothing, idk where it is, making me very very upset kind of. hopefully that turns up soon.

i think my hair will stop wigging me after like, one more day probably. i don't know why my bangs can give me such dysphoria lol it's dumb. i'm just so used to them being like, i guess the thing that makes me feel like i 'pass' i guess. idk. i don't know if that's true or not. i don't think so. it's not like they're gone, i've done this before, even, in the lifespan of the blog, and like, worse, even, for instance look at me when i gave myself this hair:

those are like, psychotic bangs, i'm not there rn, looking thru my selfies there's another pic of me w/ bangs that are kind of like where i'm at rn:

it's funny, in that one i took the selfie while my phone was super messed up so it died whenever it wasn't plugged in, and i was so like, dysphoric or whatever, idk what to call this even, saying it's 'dysphoria' seems not entirely accurate or whatever, but when i felt hideous and needed to capture like, myself not being ugly, i had to plug my phone in, in the bathroom, to do that. that's so embarrassing huh.

anyway, this whole stupid issue is making me look up how to blowdry bangs, which is something i do already, everyday, and know how to do basically, but i guess i'm just trying to get better so i don't make myself go coo coo every time i want to 'fix' my hair.

anyway look at me in akasaka, this was a fun time:

i remember, they had a bunch of harry potter stuff up here, cuz it's so big in japan, and we'd see people come up and look and get really excited, take pictures with it, it was very sweet, honestly, i'm glad that's a primary thing my mind goes to, thinking of harry potter, over anything else, it just pays to not be very invested in it.

i did another gut drawing thing, but it's sort of a practice run for another idea i guess, cuz i don't like the novel part of it, i wanna draw intestines getting cut, and the sinew holding / almost snapping, and stuff. that bit is harder to get right w/ pixels but i think tomorrow i could.

also, since i got paid, i have started looking at some other stupid things, like a digicam. thinking about getting a sony cybershot 8.1 megapixels (i think) (or 7.2), there's one for 30 bux on ebay rn (same w/ the 7.2 mp variant), seems cute and fun. might give me some cool options w/ photography stuff.

n - e wayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, i need to sleep, it is 3:43 am and i do want to fix my sleep schedule at some point, it'd be good for me.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 7

holy shit i finally did it. "it only took you a week" it felt like 5 years okay. i'm not good at watching shows.

anyway. overall i'm gonna say i liked season 7 more than i liked season 6, but the bad episodes were imo much worse than s6's bad episodes, at least from what i can remember.

season 6 was overall really disjointed and clumsily handled, and i just watched it 2 weeks ago and i can barely remember what happened in it now that i'm trying to. wow. season 7 was a lot more coherent and didn't try to cram 3 different miniplots into one season. i appreciate the effort honestly.

that said, some of the episodes really were. not good. and some of the ways they used to resolve conflicts and move on were bizarre and contrived (i'm absolutely talking about cas "taking" sam's crazy for himself. genuinely what the fuck was that). the filler episodes felt dropped in without any regard to the context of the rest of the season (why did the "sam gets legally married" episode happen immediately after the one where they're #2 on the fbi's most wanted list? that doesn't make any amount of sense) and a lot of the episodes were honestly just boring.

and i don't know why, but this season specifically had a lot of issues with pacing. too many episodes had way too much buildup only for a "quick fix" to be presented in the last 5-10 minutes. a handful of episodes like that can be fine, especially when you need the time to build up the overarching plot of the season, but this was like... nearly every episode. 30 minutes of nearly unrelated drama followed by "here's your deus ex machina! finish the episode so we can go home already." it just came off as unskilled writing to me. i know episodic storytelling has to tie each episode up with a nice bow, but there's only so many times you can throw a simple deus ex machina-like solution to the characters and not expect me to find it contrived.

now i do like the leviathans though. or at least the concept of them. i wasn't overly invested in their plot (though honestly? i kinda like dick roman. he's annoying enough for me to appreciate) but the idea of them is really interesting. you can see this conglomeration of several different monsters within the species, so they fit well within the context they've been given. primordial monsters that came before all the others? well of course they'd have traits of those who came after them. it's like evolution: the later-born monsters became more specialized to their environment i guess. the worldbuilding there is intriguing enough for me.

i'm sick as a dog so i'm having trouble coming up with other thoughts. i really liked meg's involvement in the season; i thought her role throughout was well-placed and well-developed. the weird romance subplot between her and cas is, well, weird, but i don't dislike it either. i'm a sucker for demon/angel dynamics, even if the angel is totally crazy. but every time they hint at it i keep thinking about the destiel love confession and start laughing.

crowley was kinda weird and boring this season tbh. very disappointing as a crowley fan. the ghost bobby plot was kinda interesting, but i'm not 100% sure how i feel about it. kevin tran is a loser and i'm a big fan of losers. i think the show tried a little too hard with charlie, but i don't dislike her. she's no becky though smh. my taste in fictional characters is bad and charlie is too good, i guess.

well anyway, dean and cas are in purgatory now and sam is a soggy sad boy as usual, so with that i'm going to take another break from this wretched show and watch something good, the haunting of bly manor :) i really want to get through mike flanagan's entire compendium of work because hoooooly shit he is a great idk. do you call him a filmmaker even though it's miniseries. idk the terminology. whatever

[nicekaylee]

july fucking 31st

it's 2 am

after the show i said fuck all of THIS

and went on a fucking vacation. and getting therapy

and it's been going pretty sick, therapy not started. but anyways thats a write up for another day. im just going to talk about something specific that happened today.. im so pissed, and heartbroken.

CONTEXT

in my past 3 years of wasting my life on this god damn album, someone i knew a bit lit up my life in the last year,2022. this girl. the way she dresses just opened up a new sense of inspiration for me that ive never had before. so i get to know her a bit more once we hang out, and then i get to know how similar our interest in things are. we talk on the phone, and it's really nice. i knew after my birthday that this girl was someone special to me. and even though she's inspiration, i wanted to know i wanted to be there to care for her and be a closer companion, especially after knowing her past history and how i feel like she may have not felt that. fast forward 10 fucking months and im no where closer. in fact, even further away. i bet this girl doesn't think about me at all. and i'm just confused cause she barely shows any emotion at all. like one of the hardest people to understand, yet im still so invested. but it's getting very one sided. I got very depressed after my birthday, and then super focused on my album so i had little social life.. if any at all. not one message of empathy from her.. a couple of times seeing her, but never alone.. but whatever that's not the real point of the story. that was all just context. THE REAL STORY

so it's july 2023 i can't look at her as a friend, cause i have too many feelings. we talk minimally but theres a group chat thats kinda our saving grace. and just recently, she started med school in galveston. fuck. during my vacation, i'm trying to enjoy my life more. ive always wanted to wait till after my album is done, where i feel like my life will be easier, but now a days im thinking.. fuck that. i'm tired of waiting to be in the right time of my life because i can't bottle these feelings any longer. like fr this shit is bothering me so much. i'm getting older and just wishing and having this crush with no substance makes no sense.

so i need to tell her asap.

i wanted to see her in galveston. somehow ended up into a group friend thing to visit her in galveston, then her mom shut that down.

because she is in the most complicated situation literally not meant for dating at all. no car, mom takes her everywhere, curfew as fuck,her mom doesnt even want her around guys, what the actual fuck. but fuck it, she makes time to hang out in houston..for like 2 hours.. but i appreciate it honestly i understand her life situation.

TODAY she pulls up to my friends house with her brother cause her moms a freak about her going out. it's another group hangout. how tf am i gonna tell her my feelings?? anyways,

i mention i went to galveston and she seems UPSET THAT I DIDNT TELL HER?? CAUSE SHE COULDA MADE A WAY TO SEE ME..

NOW SHE WANTS TO SEE ME? WTF. idk dude it's so hard to understand her. so that was some good insight. but it's the past so whatever..

we play mario party on the switch. finish and it's about time to go. i whip out a surprise bag with gifts i wanted to treat my 2 other friends and her with! snacks for one, a fork for another, and i got her these super cute pens. she seemed to like them! she then says i didn't have to get this cause she knows im broke. WTF. honestly, shit was funny. idc but then she starts talking to me or us about some more details of her school life. she seems to always looks at me more. like most of the time. i LOVE that, but i have no clue how basic that is for her. she tells me shes finally gonna start her dream cover band, which is sick, love to hear that. someone said i should do a cover band.. i made a face and was going to say i actually do plan on it--

THEN SHE FUCKING CUTS ME OFF. AND FUCKING SAYS I SHOULD MAKE CUTE JINGLES FOR MY GIRLFRIEND(S)?? LIKE HALLMARK CARDS w pretty messages and simple JINGLES?? .....WHAT THE FUCK...

im staring at her like about to fucking lose my mind... cause i want to do that FOR HER. i almost impulsivey confess everything i feel to her. but everyone was right around me, her brother too. and i didn't know if it would be bad for her brother to hear..and have him spread info to her mom ..which will fuck her over more. i didn't wanna do that. so i just calmed down and played dumb. she left and said it's gonna be a long time till she'll see us again. what the fuck. im so mad. my friends said i shoulda just told her right there.. but idk it was so much random pressure and i wanted to be courteous and not fuck her over..

but jesus fucking christ im so mad. or some other word to describe how riled up that got me. this woman needs to know how i feel. i actually dont give a fuck anymore. im a grown dude and that annoys me that this is all weird puzzle solving teenage shit. cause if she was hinting, fuck her so im going to galveston this wednesday. giving her A SPECIAL hallmark card with a beautiful art of her and a BEAUTIFUL SONG only for her. not for OTHER girlfriends.. FOR HER. she is the one i want to make these things for . she needs to know shes the one i care about. before some asshole gets to her in galveston. honestly i actually dont care. i just wanna make sure she knows how special she is to me. that'll give me peace of mind. and she says no, then honestly im okay. anyways im doing it. wednesday. cant bottle this in anymore. i really hope she lets me see her man. i just want to let her know how special she is to me. it'll hurt my heart knowing if i never did anything. and maybe she'll share something loving as well

maybe

[simsrecordkeeping]

Banks-Pace snapshot!

Alright, I lied, kinda, I am now putting down this house just as the middle child hit adulthood. I was gonna move him out but I think instead I'm gonna leave him and his sister the house at the same time for a while, and let him rank up at work while she finishes high school and the parents continue aging. (I never know what to do with them in this phase of their lives, they usually do creativey stuff and romance each other, occasionally I'll get bored and have another baby or let someone cheat or sometimes someone will get abducted...)

Ahem. So, right now, (B)Kristina is a writer and lives at home off royalties and investments, because she's finished both the mansion and income aspirations. She's trying to master painting.

Balen is a professional musician and honestly he gets too many days off work to get promoted very often. He stays on top of his work task with jingles, and he's taught all of his children the violin. He's still trying to master guitar.

The eldest, Carrie, moved out with her soon-to-be-boyfriend, I'll place them later. She may or may not have grown out of her hipster phase. She's an excellent gardener.

Cosimo (I know, I'm sorry) is probably going into a creative line of work so I can put an inspiring reward in the kitchen. I might just have him do the connected thing and go through everything and collect first stage rewards.

Youngest, Colleen, is a painter and a glamour-girl right now, she's been good in school and a great scout and all her stuff is all leveled up, so. Yay!

The greenhouse is a little cramped, but I don't really want to expand it, it would need too much space for what I want to do with it.

I might lower the foundation a bit next time I play, too. The unplayability of sims 4 camera and a high wall and high foundation, man.

Anyway.

Kinda inclined to "top off" the sims who already had adults plucked out, can go through and screen birthdays?