#anyways there’s the gender euphoria of the day

[queer-reader-07]

shoutout to the guy in my chem class who i’m in a little study group with who i guess took the time to look at my profile on discord and figured out my pronouns (i didn’t bother announcing them to the group because i didn’t want the hassle)

my guy has only gendered me correctly, both out loud when we’re talking in office hours and in text in the study group group chat.

[lionmythflower]

GUYS GUESS WHAT

I GOT A FUCKING HAIR CUT

MY HAIR IS SO SHORT NOW I LOVE IT

The gender is finally gendering 😭😭😭😭

[trans-phone-eater]

It's finished!

(You can tell where I've sewn by looking at the seams with white thread)

To get an idea of how much I changed the original piece of clothing, the pants I used to make this skirt looked very similiar to these:

[rocknrollinbitchforu]

I think listening to me explain my perception of gender would kill a room of conservatives. I was literally just thinking to myself about how I felt masculine today and one of the things that was helpful in me feeling masc was putting my phone in my back pocket. like what? even I'm confused

[robinsnest2111]

the overwhelming happiness I feel when ppl give me nicknames based on my chosen name <333

[nikothebookdragon]

.

[krynutsreal]

alright guys ramble time but about one of my classes I have ok (boo tomato tomato)

I've been thinking about this for so long at this point but it's crazy how there can be a whole room of people who you are comfortable being with at first right until they start talking about their opinions towards queer people/trans people

Like . Even if they aren't hateful towards them, but yet just "don't agree with their beliefs" or just don't. Understand much about it. And aren't really willing to learn more I guess?

I have a 7:30 am class, in which it's basically career exploration and helping you figure out what career you want, etc etc whatever

One class period we were supposed to be researching for scholarships, but due to it being like. What, middle almost the end of the semester nothing much would show up (to me at least). Which is fine, the class always ends up getting derailed somehow.

This time a classmate of mine brought up how this one classmate in her psychology class pissed her off bc he was the kind to openly speak up and oppose to whatever discussion there'd be, and that he always somehow manages to victimize himself I guess (saying this from memory so obviously it's not like. Exactly what she said to the class). By victimizing I mean that he either gets offended by a lot of the topics they discuss or just in general speaks up about the topics their class discusses. While I do not know much about him, I got the general idea that he is a white trans man who feels that his transness makes him oppressed like the other marginalized people (which is not wrong, just the way that the girl worded it made it seem like he would use this fact to "victimize" himself. Whatever that means)

That this one time she had saw him drop his pencil and she had told the teacher (when being questioned as to what happened I think) "she dropped her pencil" and he (her classmate) had gotten angry, because she misgendered him on accident.

And she kinda explains that how was she supposed to know what his pronouns were if she hasn't ever really talked to him at all? All while still like, using she/her pronouns.

It kinda just dove into the conversation of trans people in general, and how some people's beliefs don't agree with the concept in general. Some guy said that while he can kinda understand going ftm transition that he couldn't accept it the other way around, because of how he was raised and about how he felt towards his own manhood. His pride in being a man.

The same was discussed between the girls in my class, with the girl who started the conversation saying that her womanhood means a lot to her. That "those types of people like the concept of becoming a girl up until they have to get their period ....etc etc"

And at that moment it just kinda. Sunk deep in my stomach that oh yikes. wow I would never come out to any of you. I'd rather not explain my feelings of my own gender, hell one of them didn't even know what non-binary was!!!! And so I explained to the guy who didn't know that, and corrected him that what he thought was non-binary was actually called being gender fluid. Which well. ya know.

They weren't being mean about the discussion at all, at least not from what I remember it. They were open minded and calm, but the thing is that they were with people who thought the same as them (or well, I guess presumed to think the same, some of us just stayed silent for most of the discussion)

Would it have been different if someone, who was actually trans, sat with them? Would it have been different if I came out to a random group of strangers I don't know that well?

It stuck out to me that the conclusion everyone had come up with was to bring someone in who was trans, to ask them questions and "pick apart their brain" (as one guy put it) and they had suggested to bring the guy my classmate had talked about in the beginning.

My friend (or acquaintance, not sure tbh), who is in the same class as me had said that she knew someone who was ftm, someone who was way older and had raised his kid after transitioning

Some suggested to bring both of them in, to see their differing views on their transness and experiences, and I agreed on this too because I thought it'd be interesting to see and talk to other trans/queer people

It's just, I don't know why this has stuck to me. It's been weeks since I had that discussion. I'm sure that it's because I have my own conflicting and confusing thoughts on gender, and that the way some of them just. Worded or talked about trans people almost made me want to tear up? It's hard to explain the feeling I got, to hear someone bring up a point where i shit you not was "oh yea i remember hearing that theres a statistic saying that trans people are usually connected to being mental ill/autistic"

Like .blinks slowly. Do you think that being autistic just . automatically makes you trans? I've seen autistic people who are not, and I've seen trans people who are not autistic. The only reason why hearing statistics like that is possible is because people want to say that being trans makes them mentally ill.

Which is not even the case most of the time because it's really the way that people treat trans people !!! That makes them feel that way. The way they are treated are what makes them unhappy, what makes some not even want to come out.

It's just. I don't know man, would they have the same thoughts on seeing a drag queen/king? Would they think that's the same as being trans or what's up. If anything I'd want to pick their brains. To see what is it about transness that they don't understand. If I can help them become more understanding so that things like accidentally misgendering someone wouldn't become such a frustrating process to them.

Hell, even with me being confused and closeted I just. I don't know. I wish I spoke up more during that conversation. But the fear of giving myself away would eat me alive as it always does. I keep thinking, well what would their reactions have been if I did come out? They obviously wouldn't see me the same, hell I don't even think I'm trans but surely since they just. Their opinions on trans people would surely make them change their view on someone who they see as "normal" . It makes me want to rip my hair out because of it

I literally thought about this while working on Friday and I don't even have a specific thought or point to bring out, so I apologize deeply for that. Thanknuou for coming to my Ted talk auuuuahhhg

[non-un-topo]

Those days where you open your drawing program and just want to have a fucking meltdown

[girlmikeyway]

anyway. three cheers for sweet transgenderism or whatever mcr said

[karinyosa]

it just struck me earlier today that like, our little tumblr a separate peace bubble is not at all the first group of people to think that book was super gay. like, you have that one interview where they straight up ask john knowles if he meant to make them gay, you have the david levithan afterword that's in the current quintessential copy of the book, or at least the one that i've seen around the most (blue cover, looks drawn, title is displayed on a ribbon) that talks about all the gay subtext explicitly and was written by a gay man who felt seen by the book, like.... it truly is nothing new asp truly has been In It this entire time

[le-panda-chocovore]

My sense of gender identity is so weird... Like, the whole thing about being non-cis but not having a real strong appartenance to any gender is that :

I don't like it when people see me automatically as a girl

I happily identify and present myself as a girl any time.

I guess I just don't want them to speculate about my gender.

[zincbot]

first workout after top surgery had me flying high all day

[kingdomoftyto]

Mmmmn so my coworker who initially introduced herself to me as genderfluid just figured out that no, she's just a transgirl actually, and the dysphoria is kind of rearing its head at the worst possible time because *gestures vaguely at the political climate of Missouri* and also *gestures more pointedly at the bills prohibiting gender-affirming care for autistic people*

Anyway I'm mad. Everyone else get mad, too, please.

[earl-grey-love]

My dumbest trans moment of all time was when I went to my college dorm for the first time. I went in and put all my stuff in there, then went away to go get my lunch. When I came back, the room smelled like cologne. I started to panic, thinking some man had broken in there for some reason (even tho none of my stuff had moved), and I was about to go tell someone until it hit me. That's my cologne. The man who had been in my room was me.

[elytrafemme]

assignment finally submitted. God i am so fucked lOL. today has been a wild fucking day & i am so glad i am going to bed now bc good God

[sixftmp3]

i’ve reached a point in my transition that like. i look in the mirror and recognize myself. i look at myself and go “oh!! damn!! thats me!!”