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koiishyy · 4 months

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The death of peace of mind (time is a thief)

ღ summary : Your keen sense for imminent threats and disaster's goes haywire during an otherwise once in a lifetime festival, and if you were given one more minute, then everything might have been different. pairing : porco galliard x braun! reader tags/content warnings : graphic depictions of violence, swearing, depictions of a panic attack and survivors guilt. pre-established relationship, hurt/comfort. a/n: this is the first reader fic i've uploaded to tumblr since i was fourteen, be gentle with my soul pls. enjoy!

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There’s a taste lingering on the tip of your tongue.

It’s sickeningly sweet and accompanied by an icy chill that sends goosebumps pricking across your biceps. Dribbling down the side of your hand, it trickles across your skin towards your sleeve. At this rate, it’ll stain the cream-colored uniform. With another lick, you quell the racing liquid.

Strawberries.

It tastes like well-ripened strawberries.

Ice cream isn’t a luxury you’re often afforded within the Liberio internment camp. It’s one of many foods that is solely attainable past the gates. A delicacy that the Marleyans decided to withhold from the spawns of devils. You can stain your hands with the blood of their enemies and do their dirty work, but they can’t even allow the simple, regular pleasure of ice cream.

Today is a different tale, however. Today is a celebration. The war against the Allied Forces took longer than predicted, but even with the countless setbacks, Marley’s victory reigns true.

All thanks to the race they despise so much, of course.

Now, there’s vendors packed, lining the streets of Liberio. Exotic foods and little knick-knacks sit front and present at every booth. It’s supposed to put the foreign guests at ease and make them feel happy that they signed a peace treaty with the country that proceeded to massacre them. There’s supposed to be a play about what you have no idea—at some point in the debrief you had tuned out Zeke’s voice.

The younger candidate’s run amok before you, weaving through the crowd with excitement gleaming in their eyes. Every sweet treat entices them, and every savory dish catches their wonder-filled eyes. Of course, your sister is among them; in fact, Gabi is the most vocal of them. Her brown eyes ogle fascinated over a monstrosity of a chocolate drizzled crepe, the desire to stuff her belly full of the unique pastries setting her up for stomach-aching punishment later.

She’s babbling to Reiner, whom, for once, you’re grateful for, over the treat. He’s been graciously paying for the food, even at your protests.

Over the years of your youth, you’ve butted heads more times than you’d like to admit with your cousin. His arrogance over being a half-blooded Marleyan being the biggest argument starter. Now, after he returned from Paradis, he’s different. Different in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. Whatever he went through with the island devils changed him. You don’t argue anymore, not like you used to.

Pieck has also been keeping up well with the candidates, trailing after them and engaging in conversation. You watch as money exchanges hands and Gabi receives her crepe. Pieck laughs as she practically inhales it after the first bite. You even manage to capture the faint crack of a smile from Reiner.

Udo and Zofia stand off to the side. Udo does most of the talking you notice. The kid has the innate ability to chatter on about any topic. Zofia listens, never once interrupting him or telling him to quiet down.

A little ways away, you spot the Grice brothers, who have ventured just a tad bit further than the group. Colt ruffles Falco’s hair, which earns him annoyed swats from Falco. You’re surprised that Falco isn’t glued to Gabi’s side.

Everyone’s having a fantastic time. Plenty of laughter is being had, and delicious food is being consumed and enjoyed. It’s good company. It’s a beautiful day. Most of the veteran warriors have even let their guards down.

Everyone is happy. So why can’t you be?

“Your ice cream’s melting.”

The words jolt you violently from your endless thoughts. Physically, your head recoils, jerking upwards in the direction of the familiar voice. In the midst of staring off into space, Porco has retreated to your side. He looks at you with a hint of concern and a wealth of curiosity written across his features.

Your eyes trail towards the half-eaten ice cream cone tucked in your grasp. It threatens to become a watery soup. The pink-tinted liquid trails in multiple lines down your hands, sticky and warm now.

“Shit,” You hiss softly, transferring the cone between your hands. You shake the hand covered in liquid, flinging droplets of ice cream against the ground. You’re not even sure why you’re still holding onto it—your appetite has long gone. Porco sighs, pulling a brown napkin from his jacket pocket. He extends it in your direction and you gladly take it. “Thanks.”

“What’s on your mind?” He asks.

“What?” You blink, tossing the ice cream into a nearby garbage bin. Shaking your head, you wipe your hands clean. “Nothing.”

Porco gives you a knowing look—a look you despise. A frown tugs at your lips. He never misses the slightest change in your behavior. You hate it.

“You always finish your food.” Porco points out. “Lying to me is stupid; why don’t you just tell me?”

He’s right; you hate that he’s right. Lying to him is stupid, considering you’re more honest with Porco than anyone else. You’re being difficult for no reason.

Well, you do have a reason, just not a particularly good one.

“I just have a bad feeling.”

Porco’s eyebrows furrow. “About this and the play?” He inquires, and you nod in response. “The allied forces have already signed the treaty. The war is over. No one would be dumb enough to plan an attack in Liberio anyhow.”

“Treaties are broken all the time.” You remind him.

Enchanting hazel eyes trail over your face, and your heart skips a beat. “It’s your gut, isn’t it?” Porco asks.

Instinctively, your hand grazes against your abdomen, a nauseating feeling building in your stomach. “My gut’s never wrong.” You say. “You should know, it’s saved your ass more times than I can count.”

“Not every time.” Porco argues. “Also, I save my own ass and everyone else's—and yours too.”

You roll your eyes. “Name one time I’ve been wrong.”

Porco’s lips part, the resemblance of a word forming on them, only for no sound to come out. They bob open and closed, and you can almost visibly see the gears turning in his brain. He looks stumped. He struggles for a moment, too stubborn to accept the truth, before finally relenting to the glaring reality.

Your gut has never been wrong.

This keen sense for imminent disaster was one of the reasons you earned your warrior candidacy. Gabi calls it your sixth sense. You could sense a threat from a mile away. No one could ever pull a stealth attack on you because your gut was never - and has never been wrong.

Porco’s eyes comb the crowd before wrapping one of his large hands around your wrist. He gently tugs you to an abrupt stop, redirecting your course to a secluded portion of the street—in an alleyway between two nearby buildings. The group continues onward, temporarily oblivious to the loss of two of its members.

Porco turns to you, serious as ever. His intense gaze causes butterflies to awaken and flutter about in your stomach. “Say your gut’s right; do you think we’d need to be worried about it?” He asks, his hand falling from your wrist to your hand and curling his fingers around your own. “It’d have to be one hell of a sneak attack.”

An exhausted, tense sigh falls from your lips. “Of course it would, but you saw how badly Reiner’s armored titan was destroyed by the artillery.”

“That’s because Reiner’s useless.” He grumbles under his breath.

You scowl, continuing with your train of thought. “And Pieck’s equipment takes precious time to transport and set up—time we won’t have.”

Apprehension lingers in him, but you can tell he believes you—or at the very least in you. Your eyes flicker across his face, knowing that he trusts you and that this pointless questioning is only for his peace of mind. He knows you would never be this worked up over something if you didn’t believe it. He knows you. He knows you.

So, he relents.

“I’ll let Pieck know.” Porco says, his hand trailing up to your cheek. He cups the side of your face, sighing. You lean into his touch—his soft, gentle touch. It’s a side of Porco that only you see regularly. “No one will trust just a gut feeling—especially not from us. So stay alert, okay? Stay near me until this is over.”

Relief floods through you instantaneously, and you nod. “I’ve got your back.”

“And I’ve got yours.” Porco smirks. He gazes at you for a moment, his cheeks growing a pinkish hue to them. His usual cool confidence falters. Shyly, he murmurs, “You look pretty today; did I tell you that?”

“No, you didn’t.” You grin. “But I’m only pretty today, though?” You tease.

“What? Well, no, of course not.” Porco flusteredly stammers out. A giggle breaks through your lips. “You look pretty every day; just today you—ah, goddammit, nevermind—forget it.”

It’s rare that you get moments like these. Moments where you are not warriors or dirt-blooded Eldians. Moments where your lives are simple and you get to act like every normal couple.

Embarrassed by your teasing, Porco grumpily attempts to depart. Softly laughing, you tug him back to you. “C’mon, I’m kidding, Pock.” You say, pulling him in by his jacket. “Stay with me. Just for another minute, please?”

He can never resist those puppy-dog eyes of yours. Porco sighs and obliges. “One more minute.”

The two of you lock eyes, and the world dissolves around you. Porco leans down, pressing his lips to yours. One kiss, two kisses, three. His lips envelope yours, gentle but a little sloppily. His hand slides up the small of your back, keeping your body pressed into his.

It’s bliss. Loving Porco is a private affair; these moments that bear the threat of the public eye are few and far between. You cherish them, silently wishing to scream your love from the rooftops. A wish that will never come to fruition—not with your positions.

Coming up for air, you pull back. Still not wanting to break the bubble just yet, Porco leans to press his forehead against yours. The tip of your nose kisses his, and a small smile tugs at your lips. Your eyes lull shut once more, savoring every moment of this temporary peace.

Until you hear the distinct sound of someone calling for you, Gabi’s voice rings across the streets. Your eyes spring open, and you catch a glimpse of her on the main road, Reiner in tow. You still, watching as they disappear down the street.

“Minute over.” You murmur.

Porco hums in response. “Minute over.” He echoes, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Let’s go.”

---

One more minute.

Clawing at your throat, bile threatens to spill over from you. There’s an aching in your chest, a hammering against your ribcage. Your heart threatens to crack the very ribs that protect it. Your footsteps feel heavy, weighted by cement. There’s a dull pain thudding behind your dry, bloodshot eyes, the capillaries in them threatening to burst at the seams.

You wish you would have stayed in that alleyway for just one more minute.

Corpses would still litter the streets of the place you call home, crimson blood pooling against the concrete and staining the pavement. The hospitals would still be overfilled—maximized to their capacity—and even then, with patients scattered across the hallways. Smoke would still billow, flames roaring in the midst of building debris. The crisp, icy water of the sea would still hold the remnants of Marley’s naval fleet—pieces of their vessels floating aimlessly across the ocean.

A minute wouldn’t have prevented this. A minute wouldn’t have fixed this.

But for a minute, the vile image of Zofia’s pulverized upper body wouldn’t be on repeat in your mind—the mental image of her limp legs connected to nothing haunting you whenever you squeezed your eyes shut. A minute would have spared you the feeling of Udo’s arm slipping from your grasp in the midst of the panic. A minute would have given you the opportunity to hold your sister close, keeping Gabi by your side and never letting her go. Another would have prevented her from boarding that airship and taking Falco with her.

Breathe.

You have to order yourself to take deep breaths, lest you claw at your skin and tear the feeling of guilt out of your muscles. The miserable feeling clutches your chest like a vise, constricting your lungs. Tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. You blink them back—you don’t get to cry, not yet.

Breathe.

Forcing out another sputtering breath is like swallowing a hot coal. The acidic burn in your throat is only reinforced by the action. You keep swallowing, attempting to provide some sort of aid to no avail.

The Paradis devils. Eren Yeager. They’ve destroyed your home and killed innocent civilians who had nothing to do with the Warriors actions. And now they have Falco and your sister—your baby sister.

Through the shroud of grief, there is only panic.

Is she a prisoner of war? Is she dead? Are they going to torture her for information? Will they use the same methods that Marley does? You don’t even want to think about it.

Your gut tells you she’s alive.

And it’s so hard to breathe.

Breathe.

You failed them.

It’s clear as day, plain and simple. You should have spoken up and told someone with a higher ranking about your gut feeling. Instead, you doubted your judgment. General Magath might have listened, though the rest really would have never believed something as silly as a gut feeling.

But you did fail them: Zofia, Udo, Gabi, Falco, Pieck, Reiner, Colt...

Porco.

Oh god, Porco.

You finally reach his bedside, unsteady and five seconds away from completely unraveling. The feeling of breaking completely only intensifies as your eyes roam Porco’s unconscious body. The Warriors took a brutal assault from Eren Yeager, one that not even your gut could have predicted.

Temporarily, relief floods you. Porco is alive; his body is regenerating. It’s clear the doctors have done all they can for him, the only course of action to allow the titan’s power to complete the rest.

It’s the worst shape you’ve ever seen him in after a battle.

You practically collapse into a nearby chair, unable to stand on the two feet that have been carrying you throughout Liberio tonight. All you can do for a moment is stare at him, watching as his chest slowly rises and deflates. He’s alive. He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive...

And Udo and Zofia are not.

Shakily, your hand reaches out for Porco’s, his fingers clammy and cold to the touch as you clasp your hand around his. Thousands of emotions rush through your veins, and your mind fights tooth and nail to make sense of all of them. You cling to him, the relief of him being alive and the guilt of being glad that he is alive swirling within you all at once. How are you going to be glad he’s alive when your sister is gone and people are dead? How are you going to feel glad he’s alive when you should have been by his side in the first place?

You don’t know.

You break.

The tears come pouring out in rapid succession. “I’m sorry.” You say this through gritted teeth, lowering your head against Porco’s arm. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left your side.”

You fall asleep curled over his bedside, his hand in yours, clinging on for dear life.

---

Porco doesn’t wake for a while, even after his body has recuperated.

Over the span of his unconsciousness, you’ve been flip-flopping between the hospital and your home in what little free time you’re offered, checking on your parents and giving your aunt updates on Reiner.

Your parents are wrought with grief, convinced that Gabi has been killed. The crying is incessant from your mother, while your father is stone-cold and quiet. But you know better—Gabi is not dead. You don’t tell them that, though; the fate of her being alive in the hands of the island devils might be worse than her being dead.

When Porco does wake up, you’re there.

You barely register the subtle flex of his fingers against yours; he is far too busy spacing off. Porco stirs to life, a pained grunt erupting from his lips. His eyes flutter open, adjusting to the haze of his newfound surroundings and trying to come to terms with what he remembered before blacking out. By the time you notice, he’s already speaking.

“You're going to squeeze my fingers off.” Porco’s raspy voice grumbles from beneath you. Dazed, his tired eyes peer up at you from beneath heavy lids.

His first words to you almost want to make you laugh—or cry—solely because of the fact that he’s speaking. Porco’s always been terrible with words. When he confessed his love to you, it took you a good ten minutes to actually understand what he was saying. It’s one of the most endearing things about him.

But you can’t muster a laugh, and you’ve almost cried your body's weight in water. There’s nothing left for you to do besides softly gasp, “You’re awake.”

"Yeah, and I hurt like hell.” Porco murmurs, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. You turn and reach for the water at his bedside as he props himself up. He squeezes your hand as he takes it. “What happened?”

Your body stills, reforming itself into something statue-like. One wrong move, and you're certain your limbs will crumble into dust. Regardless of what you believe, you have to tell him everything, much like you had to fill in Pieck when she awoke.

So you do. You tell Porco everything that has happened or did happen as a result of Paradis’s raid on Liberio. You recount the death toll as you know it, including Zofia and Udo. You assure him that his parents are okay. You tell him the effort to rebuild the destruction and scrub the city clean is already under way. You tell him about Pieck and Reiner, you tell him about Zeke.

Much like you did, Porco goes through a range of emotions. The prevalent one is anger; you can see it bubble and dwell beneath his skin. A fierce look glints in his eye, and you let him break into a tangent, surprised that he managed to keep his anger controlled this long. Deep down, you know he blames himself, much like you do.

Once he cools, he looks at you. “How’s Gabi?” He asks.

Your mouth runs dry. You had been purposefully pushing that part of the story until the bitter end. “Gabi’s….Gabi’s gone.” You strain out.

“Gabi’s dead?” Porco’s eyes grow wide. He leans forward, all attention on you.

You shake your head. “Gabi’s not dead.” What little tears you can produce struggle their way out, burning white-hot at the corners of your eyes. “S-she’s gone. They took her. She boarded that damn airship, and Falco went with her.”

It becomes a struggle to breathe again. The all-consuming panic crashes over you like a tidal wave. You wish you could be stronger about it, like you have been, but in the presence of Porco, you shatter all over again.

“Hey," Porco coaxes, tugging at you. “C’mere.”

You crawl into the creaky hospital cot with him, careful about where you put pressure. You don’t care what your position is or who sees it; you need him. Porco seems to have the same sentiment as he guides you. You rest your head against his chest, thankful for the slow, steady beat of his heart that thuds in your ears.

“She’s gone, Pock. They took her and Falco, and they killed Zofia, and it’s all my fault.” You whimper against his chest, once again fighting back the trickling downpour on your cheeks. Absent-mindedly, Porco’s fingers comb through your hair.

“Don’t say that.” Porco firmly commands. “This isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault but those fucking island devils'. I swear-“

“Porco.”

He sharply inhales, running his free hand along his mouth. “What?”

“I should have had your back.” You say, curling into his body. “I’m - I'm really glad you’re alive.”

Porco’s fingers grow still in your hair. You hear the quick skip of his heartbeat, and your eyes flicker to his face. A faint smirk pulls at his lips. “They can’t kill me that easily, not when I have you to come back to.” He tells you. Porco pulls you as close as he can, mushing your bodies together. “Don’t worry,” he whispers. “We’ll get Gabi back, I promise. Whatever it takes.”

You believe him, body and soul, because you know him. Nodding at his words, face brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt, you mold yourself against the shape of his frame. You clutch to the only thing that makes sense in the world at the moment—tired and weary.

“I love you.” You murmur.

A quick second passes, and you begin to believe he hadn’t heard you, until he murmurs back a soft "I love you, too.”

And in that minute, you wish you could stay in his arms forever.

#aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #marley warriors #porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #x reader #aot x reader

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tender-hearteddd · 2 years

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𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞

bertholdt x fem!reader

modern au, college au, established relationship, slight music nerd bertholdt, bertholdt is above 6’4, reiner ships you and bert so hard (´◡`)

wc - 4.0k

warnings - kissing, overthinking, insecurities abt relationship, kinda bad 😭

a/n - wrote this on a whim when i was on my work break so it’s not the best 🙁 unedited and kinda messy

bertholdt loves it when it's just you two.

having his head cuddled between your plush thighs as you play with his brunette shag you hoped he never cut - watching the princess diaries in a comfortable silence you two shared so often that came with a growing mutual understanding of your budding relationship. he kisses the side of your plush thigh once in awhile when you run your hands over the side of his head in that way you always do when youre positioned like this on nights like these - when reiner is gone slaving away at practice right before the big game and it's just you two showering each other with affection.

that's until reiner comes back to his shared apartment with his best friend of over 5 years.

"reiner!" bertholdt slightly yelled like it was bloody murder. bertholdt quickly stood up, getting his abnormally big head (and big body) away from your thighs trying to act like nothing was happening - which was exactly happening. bertholdt accidentally pulled you off the couch as he frantically got up, a thud coming under you and a sympathetic look coming from bertholdt. sure - bertholdt loves showering you with his affection, but he'll never actually parade it in front of others, including the person who has seen him naked several times.

"what are you doing here?" he stupidly asked like him and reiner haven’t been living together for a whole year now.

"oh you know - coming back to my lovely home after a long day at practice.” reiner explains as he drops his gym bag and take off his sneakers, not acknowledging his best friends awkwardness to make him and you feel better.

it’s been a routine for the past couple of months. he’ll come home, see you and bertholdt cuddling, lost in your own world, and bertholdt being abruptly deported from his own little world with you whenever reiner appears into the living room.

reiner finds it slightly entertaining, not just how embarrassed bertholdt gets but the way bertholdt can easily be this close to you; you’ve created your own world with each other, speaking a language only you and bertholdt can understand. sure bertholdt’s awkward tendencies get in the way of him showing his love for you but reiner can see the way you love each other when he sees you two giggle at the plural form of ball.

and when you scold him for eating peanuts ever since he found out he was allergic to them because during your guys first date, they brought out a bowl of peanuts as an appetizer and apparently peanuts aren’t supposed to hurt your mouth like that (yet he still eats them).

and when he makes CDs for you filled with the static noise he calls music reiner and annie can’t stand yet you somehow like it.

and when you made reiner secretly steal all his pants one by one so you could tailor them to fit into his long legs.

and when bertholdt loves you to the point where he creates and you love him to the point where you can invent.

and when bertholdt gets too lost in his head, and reiner or annie never know what to do, but somehow you’re the only who could find him, and when bertholdt makes sure you don’t ever get lost, ever.

and when reiner comes home, after a long day at football practice, and he catches a quick glimpse into your shared world with bertholdt, speaking your own language, and he sees how he becomes you and you become him in the way you two hold each other. reiner likes this bertholdt, don’t get him wrong, he also likes awkward bertholdt a lot as well but he knows bertholdt is a lot more than an awkward sweaty lanky mess. he’s just happy that bertholdt has someone to be himself around - even his awkward self. and reiner would totally try pushing bertholdt to be more comfortable with holding you in front of others but right now, he smells like wet grass and total ass and he can’t feel his legs; trying to push bertholdt out of his box will have to wait.

apart, scratch that, a good chunk of you finds it insulting. like him being your boy and you being his girl is hell on earth. you know bertholdt loves you. of course he does! you’re his own prayer. but sometimes - he gets up a little too fast whenever reiner comes home, and it makes you do the unthinkable; overthink.

which is exactly what you’re doing right now as bertholdt helps you up the floor and you could feel his once dry palm, which he used to play with the side of your thighs as you played with his hair, now moist do to his nervousness. you sighed under your breath and grabbed your jacket and bag from the front door.

“alright, gonna take this as my sign to leave.” you said avoiding eye contact with bertholdt and reiner while zipping up your jacket.

bertholdt knows you’re annoyed. and he knows you’ll tell him that it’s fine.

“good luck tomorrow reiner!” you yelled as you were making your way out the door.

“wait!” bertholdt ran after you, swiftly putting on his house slippers, “let me walk you out!” bertholdt grabbed the top of the door frame preventing it from slamming, ducked his tall body under the door frame, and gently closed the door making sure he wouldn’t bother reiner.

you waited for him as he jogged a short distance to catch up to you.

“hey,” he greeted you like you weren’t hanging out the whole day.

you know you should say hi back, you always do, but you know what he always does? he always pushes you away when reiner comes home. and it’s not his fault for being so shy, but still, can’t a girl hold her boyfriend in peace?

“are you mad?” bertholdt asked with the worried look on his face he always seemed to have.

“no.” you briskly told him, keeping your eyes forward.

bertholdt sighs as he pushes the button for the elevator to go down. your arms are crossed as you wait for one of the elevators to be available. usually you and bertholdt would talk about everything and nothing - why he hates his philosophy professor, king krule possibly coming to paradis, if you should get those jeans from jaded london, giving him a fake palm reading just to touch his hands, looking at the view from the window in the elevator room and people-watching into the apartment complex across the street - but right now, it’s silent, and not the comfortable kind you two always have but the “please don’t be mad” kind.

“are you sure you’re not mad?” he asks, a little exasperated watching you walk into the elevator while you try to avoid eye contact. he walks in after you, distracted from how worried he is about you, the tall oaf ends up hitting his head on the sill of the elevator.

“Ow!” he rubs his forehead with his pointer finger and his thumb trying to numb the pain. he ducks down to the mirror of the elevator to check for any bleeding and catches you trying not to laugh your ass off at your oaf of a boyfriend. you have the prettiest smile, he swears. he tries to suppress his own smile as he hears you fail and you erupt into snorts and giggles.

“do I have to hurt myself in order for you to acknowledge me?” he jokingly asks.

“yes.” you respond as you still have a grin on your face from your fit of laughter not too long ago. bertholdt presses the button to go down to the garage, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek to reassure you about whatever you’re upset about.

bertholdt walks you to your car, still a little cautious around you.

“what’s on your mind? i know something’s wrong.” bertholdt steps in front of you, preventing you from going any further to your car. bertholdt isn’t letting you go to sleep tonight feeling like this.

“it’s nothing really.” and it really is nothing, to you at least but not to bertholdt.

“it’s something.” bertholdt quickly retorts gently bringing his hand to yours.

you’re a little emotional, you’ve always been.

“can you just hold me? there’s no one around.” you reassure him. bertholdt’s heart stings at your act of reassuring him. bertholdt looks around for a moment and hugs your body to his in the empty parking garage, feeling your specific type of inviting warmth to his chest and having the smell of your vanilla coconut leave in conditioner scent hug his nose. he’s leaning against your car as you lean into him.

“are you mad because i pull away from you whenever reiner comes home?” he gently asks as he gave you a kiss on your head.

“im not mad, just..”

bertholdt gives you all the time to continue.

“just..are you embarrassed of being in a relationship with me or something?” you look up at him, slightly teary eyed, hoping he wouldn’t notice. but he does; because he wants to make sure you’ll never get lost.

“no! of course im not!” he furrows his eyebrows at you. you stare up at him looking if he’s telling the truth. and you know he is but overthinking gets the best of you sometimes. “you should be the one embarrassed to be in a relationship with me!” bertholdt jokes to make you feel better.

you smile as you hug him tighter, “never.”

“it’s just sometimes i feel like you are embarrassed of me.” you push the side of your face into his chest, avoiding eye contact once again.

“I’m not.” and he isn’t. bertholdt looks down at you with sympathy in his eyes, rubbing and kneading your back. he knows you deserve someone who can hold you whenever they please.

“you know how shy I get.” bertholdt reassures you that it’s his problem, not yours.

“i know.” you tell him. “i don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I just want you to hold me, just right now.”

“trust me, holding you doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

bertholdt holds you in his strong arms like you’re a dove. every touch from him is carefully placed. you pout your lips signaling for a small kiss. as soon as he reaches down to give you a quick kiss, the tip of his ears red from his meekness, here comes porco galliard and his loud ass car beeping twice at you two. your eyes crinkle at his cars bright ass headlights and bertholdt lets you go from his grasp, not wanting porco to see the monstrous act of holding his girlfriend.

“give this to reiner for me!” the boy named after a pig yelled through his rolled down passenger window and threw out reiner’s jockstrap, bertholdt catching it as he let out a sigh of dissent. porco irresponsibly and annoyingingly, may I add, sped out of the garage, bertholdt yelling at him to slow down.

your eyebrows furrowed in distress when your giant of a boyfriend let you go. you watch as he slightly jogs after the speeding car and yells at the pig man driving it to slow down. bertholdt walks towards you, the dissatisfied look in your eyes wishing he kissed you a few moments earlier. bertholdt gives you a sympathetic smile as he held reiner’s jockstrap in between his fingers.

“bye,” you curtly smile back and tried as fast as you could to get into your car as you ignored your boyfriends goodbyes.

bertholdt watched your car drive out of the parking garage, a disappointed groan coming from his body.

the olive skinned boy closes his apartment door with a sigh. it pains him to know that there’s apart of you, that may grow into a chunk, that thinks he’s ashamed of you. and you know he isn’t, but he knows how you overthink. hell, he can’t blame you. if he was in your position, he would think the same thing too.

but bertholdt is shy - painfully shy, almost like he’s cursed to be this way forever, and it’s not like he doesn’t want to hold you the way he does behind closed doors in front of others. if bertholdt could, he’d have you attached to the hip.

bertholdt is just…how you say - modest.

one touch, and he knows he’s gone.

it took him at least three months into the relationship for him to even comfortably hold you, and took him another three for it to become a regular thing. every touch from your fingertips is a modified blow, and bertholdt is made of glass. the first time you molded your hands to the side of his face, he swore he shattered into a thousand pieces. and you put him back all together. you touch him like a prayer, a prayer only you two understand. the first time you touched bertholdt, when you held his face, or when he laid his head in between your thighs, or when his senses are overloaded with you - bertholdt feels his heart take root in his body, discovering something he doesn’t even have a name for.

so it’s not that bertholdt is embarrassed, he just craves even the slightest brush of your fingertips against his skin too much.

“You forgot your jockstrap.” bertholdt throws it to a now freshly showered reiner, who is currently eating his second bowl of lucky charms right now.

“thanks.” states a tired reiner.

reiner put his now empty bowl in the sink while bertholdt got ready for bed.

“goodnight bertholdt.” reiner slaps bertholdt’s flat ass.

“goodnight reiner.” bertholdt does the same to reiner.

reiner yawns and before closing his bedroom door, he peeks his head out, and with tired eyes and a tired voice, he tells his best friend since middle school,

“if you could slap my ass every night, you can hold your girl without being a scaredy cat about it by the way.”

bertholdt looks back at him with a surprised look on his face.

“you should hold her more.” reiner states before he kicks his bedroom close and going to sleep for his game tomorrow.

and bertholdt agrees.

these intrusive thoughts aren’t letting you sleep. the many times bertholdt has pushed your affection away in front of others is making you cringe and the little voice inside your head is not letting you forget them. there’s a devil and angel on your shoulders arguing whether he really loves you or not. you’re being dramatic, no you’re not, yes you are. all you really want is your boyfriend to hold you. is that too much to ask? you wanna cry but you don’t let yourself, bertholdt would let you. you let out a frustrated sigh and grab your phone from your nightstand. a second ago it was only 12 but now it’s almost 3 o clock in the morning. to hell with these intrusive thoughts.

bertholdt <3: Just wanna say goodnight and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I hope you feel better in the morning, I love you.

sent at 12:25

you roll your eyes at the text message sent by your boyfriend but can’t help but feel a teensy bit better, but not enough to fall asleep. a glass of warm milk and those melatonin chocolates bertholdt bought for you will do. you find your roommate pieck awake at almost 3 in the morning making herself a cup of tea in her jaw titan mug.

“he did it again.” you tell her as you get out the carton of milk and pour it into a glass.

“again!?” pieck suddenly drops her spoon into her cup of tea.

“shhhhh!” annie is in her room doing the right thing you’re supposed to do at 3 in the morning, sleep. annie is also possibly the lightest sleeper you’ve ever come across and even pieck’s soft voice can wake her up.

“did you tell him how you feel?” pieck asked more quietly this time as she blew at her hot tea.

“yeah.” you sighed, waiting for the microwave to be done warming up your glass of milk.

“and?”

“and…he told me that he wasn’t embarrassed of me and he was just shy.” you take your too hot glass of milk out of the microwave and ended up yelling, possibly waking up annie and praying you didn’t.

“shhhh!” pieck pulls her finger to her lips.

you and pieck stay quiet to listen out for annie’s footsteps, and luckily for you two, you heard none.

“well that’s good right? he’s not embarrassed of you!” pieck says, a little more quiet this time, just in case.

“yeah but, your pig of a boyfriend, who’s headlights are way too bright, came to drop off…something reiner forgot and he let go of me like i was burning hot.” you drink all your milk in one go and let the chocolate dissolve in your mouth.

“but you are burning hot.”

“pieck,” you smile at her playful flirting while staying stern to let her know now is not the time to flirt

“why the hell are both of you still awake?” annie opens the door to her room glaring at both of her roommates.

“what the fuck annie!?” you yelped in your normal voice not having to whisper anymore.

annie makes her way to the fridge and grabs a water bottle, gulping it down like she’s been stranded in the Sahara desert for eternity.

“you two suck at whispering.” annie states throwing away the now empty water bottle.

“what could you two be talking about this fine night?” annie sarcastically asks.

“your bestie is a scaredy-cat and can’t hold his girlfriend in front of others.” pieck jokes.

“pieck!”

“bertholdt?”

“who else?” you confirm

“you can’t make him do anything that makes him uncomfortable, bertholdt’s always been like that.” annie defends her best friend as if you were talking bad about him in the first place.

“im not.”

“well it sounds like you are.” annie’s a good friend, you note.

“i never took a dig at bertholdt as a person, you know how I feel about him annie, i just…feel like he’s embarrassed of me.” you look away from her, a little embarrassed yourself.

annie scoffs, sitting down at the kitchen table “he is not embarrassed of you stupid.”

you look at annie a bit relieved.

“he’s just meek, okay? trust me, it gets to me sometimes too. bertholdt always seemed like he would be meek forever..”

“that’s not a bad thing.” you retort

“can you let me finish first?” annie continues “but, and I know you know this, he’s destined to be more than that.”

“he is already more than that.”

“i already know that.” annie says

there’s a bit of an awkward silence and pieck has awkwardly been stirring her tea the whole time.

annie sighs, “he seems to be a lot more confident ever since you’ve been with him and….” annie hates that she’s admitting this, god she prays you and pieck learn to whisper so she won’t ever have to say something like this again to anyone.

“I like that he’s happy with you.”

your eyes brighten up with joy.

“really?” you smile brightly.

“yes really.” annie sighs once again.

“thanks annie.” you give her a hug and she awkwardly pats your back. you make your way back to your bedroom, with a lingering smile on your face. you text bertholdt goodnight and you know he’s gonna worry over the time you sent your text (3:15 in the morning) but at least now your intrusive thoughts have stopped.

annie doesn’t see you as a friend like pieck or the rest of her friends do. you’re just her roommate. but ever since bertholdt has been dating you for the past 9 months, he does things like hum while doing basic tasks, developed an actual sense of fashion, listens to actual good music and her favorite? tells her and reiner that he loves them every night in their groupchat.

“annie?” pieck says quietly, her tea gone cold.

“yes pieck?” annie sighs, once again.

“do you like bertholdt, in the way Y/N likes bertholdt?” pieck is also a good friend.

annie turns to pieck a bit dumbfounded “pieck, I am literally a lesbian, god.”

“oh thank god.” pieck lets out a breath of relief.

annie goes back into her room, her head now hurting.

you have no idea how football works.

you chant offense when it’s defense, defense when it’s offense, don’t even know what it means to be flagged. yet here you are, giving all your undivided attention to the very homoerotic game that is football, trying to ignore your intrusive thoughts about your boyfriend. all you really know is reiner’s jersey number.

the score is currently 14 - 7, halftime is in three minutes, and under these late night stars, the crowd is starting to get rowdy. eren jaeger is sat three seats beside you yelling at jean kierstein about how much of a pussy the opposing team is. jean kierstein’s face is tomato red as he tries his hardest not to punch eren in the face. armin is right in the middle of it wishing he never came. mikasa knows that these losers wouldn’t even survive in a football game but she can. your roommate pieck just wants to support her boyfriend, and bertholdt and your other roommate annie are just supporting their best friend.

you don’t understand the hype for college football games. the aftermath was always so depressing. men fighting over two groups of other men cuddling each other, underage college students getting alcohol poisoning, people you’ve seen post environmental activism infographics on their instagram stories littering like it’s nothing.

you’ve seen the worst minds of your generation at a college football game.

bertholdt knows you have no idea what’s going on. he’s talking to annie about the game, while also trying to subtly explain to you how it works and annie has no idea why bertholdt is explaining the game to her. If bertholdt keeps this up, annie will probably have to beat his ass.

“the titans just got flagged? wow I wonder what they got penalized for.”

“yeah our defense, who stop the other team from scoring, have been doing really well this season!”

“our offense, who have the ball currently, have been kinda sloppy this quarter, don’t you think?”

Bertholdt is lucky halftime is about to start.

“I’m gonna go get something to eat.” annie states, annoyed by bertholdt.

“get me a korean corn dog please!” you yell after her. she flips you off as she walks away, which means yes, you will get your korean corn dog.

that silence between you and bertholdt appears from last night again, the “please don’t be mad” kind, and you don’t like it. you can feel bertholdt’s doe eyes on you and you know he’s worried about you. he let you go home feeling like an embarrassment to him and he has so much to make up for.

you two don’t really get into the typical fights, sure some misunderstandings, but nothing like this before. you’re overreacting, you know you are. but you can’t help but feel so insecure.

“you should stop explaining how football works to Annie before she beats you up.” you tell your oaf of a boyfriend in a way to let him know him that you don’t want it to be like this any longer.

“if she beat me up, would it make you happy?” bertholdt jokingly asked, a little relieved.

“very.” you gave bertholdt a toothy grin. you give him the most brisk kiss on the cheek, you don’t even think your lips touched him.

“thank you.” you tell him because you know the only reason why he even is explaining football to annie, who probably understands it way more than you and bertholdt, is because he thinks you need space from the passive aggressive predicament you got into last night. (which is far from what you need)

you’re eyes are guided back to the big jumbotron in the center of the field, watching the two dogs who represent the two teams race against each other. bertholdt keeps his eyes on you and observes the way your face lights up when you see the brown labrador dressed as an armored titan race against a black great dane dressed as the colossal.

“bertholdt that black dog resembles you so much!” you tell him in the nicest way possible as you point at the screen. ymir bursts into the most disrespectful laughter possible, her and her girlfriend historia sitting above you and bertholdt.

“ymir stop being mean!” historia scolds.

bertholdt doesn’t care though, he does look like a dog to a certain extent, and he doesn’t care - as long as he can see you smile. he disregards ymir’s snorts, he ignores eren and jean’s arguing, he hasn’t noticed that annie’s been gone for longer than usual, he forgets what breed the dogs were and which one won, the cheering in the stadium has suddenly stopped - all he knows at this moment is you. here you are, his girl, the biggest smile on your face accentuating your cheekbones with your eyes crinkling in the corner. he swears you have the prettiest smile. it makes his brain go fuzzy, makes him forget everything around him -

your intrusive thoughts have gotten the very best of you, all of last night and up to today. there’s that voice in your head who keeps on telling you that you’re not worthy of being shown off, that being with someone like you is an embarrassment - how dare anyone love you? but right now - bertholdt feels so honored in this current moment sitting this close to you and having the privilege to see you smile. he looks like an idiot probably as he admires you from his seat that his tall body can barely fit in. but he doesn’t care - all his inhibitions have left and you’ve replaced them.

reiner can’t wait until this game is over with. he’s sat on the metal moist bench with his helmet off squeezing his water bottle into his mouth as his bandages are being renewed below him by the teams nurse. the black game paint he painted across his face has became grey and smudged and his hair is soaked from how much he’s been sweating. there’s about three minutes of halftime left and he’s spending those three minutes watching the Jumbotron across him.

“pucker your lips and get ready for the kiss cam titans!” came a booming voice from the intercom.

the first couple weren’t even a couple and the girl ended up moving away when the guy motioned a kiss towards her.

the second couple gave each other a meek kiss and the crowd boo’d at their lousy excuse of a kiss.

the third couple was a girl in the middle of eating a korean corn dog and the giraffe of a man totally entranced by her cheese pull.

reiner’s eyes widen as he sets his eye on the dork of a couple who were cuddling on his couch last night.

bertholdt is looking at you like you’re the only person in this whole stupidly funded football stadium. you have a bit of mustard on the corner of your lips and your inhaling the cool night air to cool down the burning piece of fried cheese in your mouth. you look to bertholdt and stick your tongue out and point at it with sad eyes.

“I burnt my tongue,” you said with your tongue still sticking out.

“you’re on kiss cam you idiots!” ymir smiled at the both of you and playfully pushed bertholdt’s towards you.

bertholdt doesn’t even know he’s on kiss cam. he barely felt ymir push him over to you. he sees you look over to the jumbotron and grow embarrassed as you use your hand to cover your face. out of nowhere, you’re hit with the massive weight that is the whole crowd’s judgement. somehow, you’re the one filled with inhibitions and bertholdt isn’t.

“bertholdt…” you whisper to him, “we’re on kiss cam!” you say this like it’s the worse thing in the world.

all bertholdt hears is kiss and that’s what he does - in front of thousands of people, all of paradis’ college towns watching on their TVs, in front of eren jaeger and jean kierschstein who’ve stopped arguing due to how surprised they are, in front of armin arlert who’s just glad they’ve stopped arguing, in front of mikasa ackerman who has never felt so much second hand embarrassment in her life just from you eating your corn dog, in front of pieck finger who’s smiling so big because you were just telling her last night how you felt bertholdt was embarrassed of you, in front of annie leonhardt who can’t help but roll her eyes at you two, in front of ymir who’s cheering bertholdt on, and in front of reiner braun, who’s annoying the nurse who’s bandaging his calves from his constant movement as he stands up and cheers for his best friend since middle school.

bertholdt is carefully cradling your face in both of his hands, like you’re his own personal prayer, his own personal heaven, his own angel; they’re large and warm up your cool face and his fingers reach to your scalp. you didn’t expect this from him, you even thought he would just walk away pretending to not even know who you are (and if he did that, you would give him something to be embarrassed about). but here he is, his lips on your lips, kissing you like this is what mouths are for. finding warmth in his mouth, you relax into his lips and hold his hands closer to your face.

neither you or bertholdt can hear the crowd cheering you guys on as bertholdt’s lips put you into some sort of trance just like how your smile induced his. it is every kiss bertholdt owes you every time he pulled away in front of others. it is the song baby by donnie and joe emerson that is the first track on the CD bertholdt gifted you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. it is the last track - ‘baby’ by ariel pink. it is bertholdt’s hands cradling your face up to reach his lips and your hands on his, your mouth becoming his mouth, it is you who breaks into shards and it will be him who will put you back together.

once you both pull away due to the ear-paining air horn signifying that halftime is over, the kiss cam screening had already been over with. bertholdt’s olive skin heats up, his lips covered in your gloss and your lips a bit swollen.

you look up at to him with bright but bashful eyes, and you smile.

and he swears you have the prettiest smile.

340 notes · View notes

mazuwii · 2 years

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Would AOT men support Andrew Tate??

I'm bored so why not (unbiased headcannons, feel free to add your opinion)

Levi:

•doesn't even know how to use electronics, in fact he doesn't even know who Andrew Tate is. He overhears everyone talking about him and how outrageous or "masculine" he is. He pictures this huge scary man with millions of scars, Dutch Van Der Linde history and that.

•when he finally hears an explanation from Gabi's phone, he tries to peek over from his wheelchair. Let's just say, he was disappointed. His imagination was crushed at the sight of what seemed like a gay porn actor that talks too much.

Eren:

•At one point in his life, Eren Sasha and Connie cosplayed pitbull at a pitbull convention (cult) , what makes you think he wouldn't use the bald hats again?

•of course he thinks Andrew Tate is a dumb ass but a little bit of trolling never hurt anyone.

•No he doesn't like him but he does quote him ironically

Bertholdt:

•Bertholdt scrolls on tiktok only for gardening and gaming content, and anything that doesn't fit into those genres, he instantly clicks 'not interested', he doesn't even bother listening. At some point the amount of Andrew Tate videos on his fyp began to piss him off so bad he blocked the hashtag, and even that didn't work 💀💀💀

Reiner:

•Reiner throwing on his dad glasses and squinting at he screen, "who's this?"

"Andrew Tate,"

He listens for a few seconds, but the words just aren't wording,"Just block him babe,"

No but seriously he finds the redpill community embarrassing af, especially with the hatred they have for single mothers, since he came from one and his respect for them

Jean:

•Jean would agree with a few points, but will happily take pleasure by trolling his fans with Connie and Sasha

Connie:

•If you ever see Bottom G edits, of random bald men twerking or dancing in an odd manner, labelled "top G spotted at an orgie" that was Connie and Sasha

Armin:

•He’s a literal feminist, with receipts, try him.

Erwin:

•could not give less of a shit, his tiktok is full of those flowery 'goodmorning🌹🌸💐😘’ edits that he downloads and sends to people on WhatsApp

Zeke:

•This is tricky, on one hand he looks like the type of man that redpillers would make an edit of, on the other he looks like he'd bully them

Porco:

•I'm sorry to my Porco stans, as much as I love him he would say "free top G" and no one even knows if he's being serious or not- like if you made fun of him, he’d laugh with you, so maybe not idk

Miche:

•He thinks they're pathetic little boys

Floch:

•Very proud of his mysoginistic beliefs, would defend Andrew to his death , and unlike Porco, very much goes on protests to "free Top G"

#reiner braun #reiner #aot warriors #zeke #levi ackerman #erwin #pieck #aot veterans #reiner x reader #floch #eren #Levi #Bertholdt #porco #armin #Miche #jean kirstein

372 notes · View notes

kachll · 5 months

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Wounds of a Warrior - Reiner Braun x Reader Fanfiction

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roseofdarknessblog · 2 years

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Northern lights (Porco Galliard x Reader)

Word count: 7 050

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

TW: mentions of blood, death, canon typical injuries

Summary: How did Porco Galliard pass time while the other Warriors were away on Paradis? By falling in love, participating in occasional military missions, and almost dying for the country that never really valued his life and the sacrifices he made from a young age. If it wasn’t for Y/N, Porco Galliard would never live to inherit the Jaw Titan. Not after being left behind during a failed ambush of an enemy fort way up north from his hometown.

Northern lights

„Damn it! You should’ve told me sooner, that you’re hurt! What the hell am I supposed to do now?“ Porco hissed, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. His light hazel eyes were full of concern and gut-wrenching fear. He was looking at you as if you were dying right there in his arms.

Well... maybe you were.

Your perfectly white uniform was drenched in the blood of your opponents, but also your own. Two stray bullets found their way into your body – one hit your left thigh, and the other went through the left side of your waist. The second one hurt a hundred times more, but the one in your thigh was bleeding more aggressively. At least until Porco took the belt from his own uniform and fastened it around your thigh, just above the gunshot wound, wrapping it over tightly with his jacket.

„I’ll be fine, don’t worry,“ you assured him in a weak voice, while you tried to blink away the exhaustion from combat and blood loss. This never should have happened. It was supposed to be an easy mission. Not an actual assault on one of the other nation's military forts. „They’ll come back for us. A lot of soldiers got left behind... they have to come back.“

„But they may be too late,“ he murmured angrily, running his bloodied hand through his hair. It was usually close to perfect, every little hair knew its exact place. But now they were all tousled around, some of the longer strands even falling into his eyes. The right side of his head was covered in almost dried blood from the wound on his temple. A long red streak made its way down his neck and disappeared under the dirty and bloodied fabric of his uniform. But it seemed that he was fine otherwise. „I don’t know how to stop the bleeding.“

„You’re doing fine, just keep putting pressure on the wound.“

„You’re going to bleed out this way!“

„Porco...“ you said his name calmly, trying your best to smile at him. He was panicking, and so were you. It’s just that you didn’t have the energy to show it. „I’m fine... really.“

Even if for a couple of seconds, you needed to close your eyes. Rest them for a bit, maybe forget everything that was happening around you. Forget the trenches where you and a lot of badly wounded Eldian soldiers were hiding and waiting. The army had to step back from the attack, leaving a lot of its soldiers behind. But you believed that someone will come back. They had to.

You didn’t want to die like this.

Not so soon.

„We should get away from here. The enemy will think about searching the trenches for survivors. And what do you think they’ll do when they find us?“

You smiled again, reaching for his left arm. The tips of your fingers brushed over the yellow armband, which was so much prettier than your grey one. Yellow has always been your favorite color. And it suited Porco and his eyes perfectly. Even more, because he hated it so much, but didn’t want to give it up.

He was allowed to wear a red one after Marcel became the Jaw Titan, but since he himself didn’t make it as one of the inheritors, he simply kept his status as a Warrior candidate. And those always wore yellow armbands, separating themselves from other Eldian soldiers. The ones like you. Ordinary people, that gave their lives to the Marleyan military in the hopes of a slightly better future.

„And where do you want to go?“ you asked him, your finger outlining the white Eldian star.

„We can hide in the forest somewhere.“

„I can’t stand up,“ you reminded him.

He shrugged, leaning closer and kissing you on the forehead. „I’ll carry you.“

„My hero,“ you smiled again weakly, caressing his cheek with bloodied fingers. Your hands felt so cold. Just like the rest of your body. „But you can’t tend to me, cover up our trails in the snow, and watch out for the enemy all at once. Trying to run would get us killed.“

„Staying here is going to get you killed.“

„Porco...“

„STOP IT!“ you flinched a little when he yelled at you. Regret almost immediately made its way to his face, because the sudden movement made you grit your teeth in pain. This was the first time you’ve been shot. But never before did you imagine it being this painful. „Please, just... stop saying my name like you’re about to say goodbye to me. You’re not dying here, okay? We’re going back home and we’ll wait for my brother and the others together. You promised to never leave me, remember?“

You nodded, while the pain from your side was spreading through your entire abdomen and climbing up your chest. „I’m not leaving you, Porco.“ No, you weren’t leaving him. Not yet. „And I’m not dying here. I want to live, experience so many things... with you.“

Porco wasn’t a guy who would smile often. That even you couldn’t change. That’s why the shy little smile on his lips made your heart break into a million pieces. You had to be on the brink of death to see him let his guard down and stop pretending to be tough all the time.

„You should go fetch some help, we need to close the wound on my side first, so I don’t lose more blood.“ Stitching up different kinds of wounds wasn’t that hard. You learned to do that even before joining the military thanks to your aunt, who was a doctor back in the internment zone. „I can stitch it up myself, but you need to find me the supplies.“

„I can’t leave you here. What if...“

„You go, I’ll be fine. Just don’t take too long, okay?“

„But how...“

„GO!“ you hissed at him through gritted teeth again. Even breathing was becoming more and more painful.

Porco hesitated for a minute, but when you grabbed his chin and brought his face closer to yours for a short kiss, he snapped back to reality. His lips found yours once more before he pulled his hands away from your side. From that moment it was your responsibility to continuously push on the wound and slow down the bleeding. The good thing was, that the bullet stayed inside. Pulling it out in this situation could be fatal.

You watched Porco slowly and carefully make his way to the direction, where you last saw the two medics, that were always present amongst every soldier unit. Merely for situations like these. You had no idea if any of them was still alive, but in the end that didn’t matter. All you needed was their bag with the medical supplies.

You tried to stay calm and not look around too much. The closest surroundings were filled with the dead bodies of your comrades. They were shot or killed by many grenades the enemy had tossed into the trenches. It was a miracle, that you and Porco weren’t killed in their last attack.

The closest sign of life was a young Eldian soldier, whose name you didn’t know. He way laying a few feet away, his uniform soaked in blood from the three gunshot wounds on his chest. But he was still fighting for his life. Still painfully gasping for air while facing the sky above your head. The sun was slowly setting in the rich hues of yellow, orange, and pink that were peeking through the thick grey clouds. It was a beautiful contrast to the dirt and snow all around you.

The fort Marley decided to invade was far up north, a long distance from Liberio. There was much more snow than you’ve ever seen. But the cold air felt pleasant and you liked the tiny snowflakes almost continuously falling from the sky. They served you as a great distraction until Porco finally came back.

„I found one of the medics, he was busy helping the soldier around him. And the other one is dead. But I couldn’t find his bag anywhere, somebody must have already taken it.“ You nodded, trying not to panic while seeing the look on his face. You’ve never seen him this scared. Not because of you and not because of anything else. „But he gave me something you could use.“

„Great,“ you breathed, lifting your head up a little, to see better. „You’re gonna help me, okay?“

„Me? How?“

„I’ll tell you in a minute.“ You slowly pulled your hands away from your side and with Porco’s help undone your uniform jacket, and pulled up your shirt underneath. Your ribs were covered in many bruises, the area closest to the wound sticky with slowly drying blood. „Okay, did he give you anything for disinfecting the wound?“

„Yeah, some alcohol.“

„Great, that’s perfect.“ Cleaning the wound was the easiest part, even though the pain almost made you scream out at the top of your lungs. But Porco seemed far more traumatized by everything you were doing. Watching you inject the local anesthetic to ease the pain made him look away. „Stop flinching, the worst part is yet to come,“ you murmured, looking at the streaks of blood flowing down your side and stomach. „Help me sit up a bit better.“

He was careful, touching you like you were made of glass, but every little movement still caused you tremendous pain. And all you could do was breathe through it and bite into your bottom lip to avoid screaming again. Porco helped you lean against the frozen dirt wall of the trench and knelt beside you.

„Okay... okay...“ Catching your breath seemed impossible for a short while. But when you finally calmed down and started thinking rationally again, you realized your hands were shaking. It was probably from the cold. Or maybe the blood loss. Or exhaustion. Or all of them combined. „Now I need your help.“

Porco nodded, taking one deep steadying breath. „What do I do?“

„You’ll have to guide my hand, it’s shaking too much and I can’t see the wound really well.“

„That doesn’t sound like the best plan, so don’t get your hopes up.“

You smiled, pulling your hand away from your side again. Suturing was a skill that took a considerable amount of practice. You knew that. The practice you had was only enough for real emergency situations such as this one. The stitches didn’t need to look pretty. Later a real doctor will correct them either way.

„We can do it, just listen to me,“ you said, looking into his horror-filled face. It wasn’t the blood or the wound itself that scared him. It was the fact, that your life was in danger, and getting proper help was almost impossible. There was no guarantee, that the military was coming back for you. And the enemy could strike again at any given moment. „Don’t panic, it really isn’t that serious. We both have seen worse things.“

„We did, but this is pretty disgusting if you ask me. How do you even know these things?“

„My aunt taught me. And you should know something like this too, it’s a useful skill.“

„Whatever,“ Porco muttered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. His body faltered a bit, but he used his other hand for support before losing his balance.

„Are you okay?“ you asked worriedly, reaching out to him. „Does your head hurt?“

He nodded, just a second before he turned around and threw up. His whole body was visibly shaking, while he tried to catch his breath again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. „I don’t feel good, Y/N. What’s happening?“

„It’s probably a concussion, you hit your head pretty hard.“

„Yeah.“ He left his head bowed down for a short while, trying to blink away another wave of dizziness and growing nausea. „Whatever, I’m fine,“ he said with still-closed eyes, turning back to you just a second later. You could see the determination on his face. He knew there wasn’t anybody else to help you. It had to be him. „What am I supposed to do?“

You looked him over with a worried expression. He wasn’t okay, he didn’t even have the strength to pretend anymore. But there was no time to waste. If you wanted to live, you had to act fast.

„Grab my hand and guide it to one end of the wound,“ you said in the calmest voice possible. Everything was going to be fine. All you needed to do was calm down and concentrate. „Be gentle but vigorous, okay? We have to do this fast.“

„Yeah, okay... okay...“

Porco’s hand was suddenly trembling even more than yours, but somehow he managed to do exactly what you needed. He was talking in a hushed voice, navigating your every move verbally as well. Suturing the top part of the wound was the hardest since you couldn’t see in properly. But after some failed attempts and with Porco’s help, you somehow managed to close it off, stopping the bleeding almost completely. The stitches were far from perfect, little streaks of blood were seeping through in some places, but it did the job.

The local anesthetic helped you not feel a single thing. All you concentrated on, was your lover's cold fingers on your skin, gently holding your hand and helping you save your life. Working without proper equipment and not in a clean or quiet environment made everything much harder, than when you practiced at home. You wished your aunt could be there at that moment, to tell you what exactly to do, or just to assure you, that you’re doing good enough.

„Are you okay?“ you asked Porco when he helped you secure the bandage on your side. His hands were shaking even more visibly now.

„Yeah, fine. It’s just... disgusting and...“ It seemed unusually hard for him to form a proper easy sentence. That made you worry even more. Nothing should have happened to him. Not him. Everyone else could die, you wouldn’t care unless he was alive and well. „Do you have to suture the wound on your thigh as well?“

„I should, yeah. It’s not bleeding that much right now, but...“

You never had the chance to finish your sentence. Not, when you noticed shouts from enemy soldiers nearby, followed by the sounds of shooting and killing. You looked at Porco with sheer panic in your eyes. If they find you, it’s over. They’ll kill you both without mercy.

„Lay down!“ Porco ordered, helping you get onto the ground. „Try not to scream, please.“ He didn’t give you a chance to even fully understand his words when he turned you over – on your side and then on your stomach. Both wounds on your overall aching body protested with a massive explosion of pain, that almost made you cry out in agony. „Just close your eyes and don’t move under any circumstance, okay?“

„What about you?“ you asked, while the gruesome sounds of other Eldian soldiers being murdered were getting closed and louder.

„I’ll be right here,“ he assured you, looking around frantically.

Playing dead was seemingly the smartest thing to do. Even more, when Porco dragged one of the already deceased soldier’s body closer and carelessly threw it over you. As if that was the way both of you found your end.

„Don’t dare to make a sound!“ he hissed at you, just as he lay down close enough to reach your hand, while he flipped another dead soldier horizontally over his own body.

„I love you,“ was the last thing you whispered to him before you had to close your eyes to stop the tears from running down your cheeks. You could hardly catch your breath when the footsteps of the enemy got even closer.

You could feel Porco’s hand close to yours, but he didn’t dare to actually touch you. And you didn’t either. All you could was try to control your breathing and slow down your almost painfully pounding heart. Overwhelming waves of panic and fear kept coming and going, as the enemy finally made its way to the place you and Porco were laying.

You held your breath and bit into your tongue when one of them carelessly kicked your leg. Since it was already almost dark, the soldiers carried flashlights to make their search for survivors easier.

They were talking in some foreign language, so you couldn’t understand a thing, but their nasty laughs and the actual tone of their voice was enough. All the death they saw around pleased them. Well, why wouldn’t it? They did their duty and protected the fort Marley decided to attack. You didn’t even know the exact reason. Nobody cared to tell you, they all just expected to act on command and never ask questions.

Not even when your own life was at stake.

You didn’t dare to open your eyes for a long time after the last sounds of shooting got quiet. The freezing ground under you finally stopped shaking from the weight of soldiers walking around.

It felt like hours have passed until you finally found enough courage to slowly lift your eyelids and look around. One side of your brain waited for an armed soldier standing right above you, pointing his gun at your head and waiting for you to reveal your cover. But there was nobody there.

„Porco?“

„Stay down, don’t move. We should wait some more,“ he whispered, looking at you with tired eyes. His face looked even paler than before, especially in comparison with the dried blood. Or at least it appeared like that, you couldn’t see very well in the slowly thickening darkness around you. The only source of light was the moon, elegantly making its way across the dark sky above your head. „Are you in a lot of pain?“

„I’ll manage.“

The pain was coming and going, you didn't really feel it because of the adrenalin still vigorously floating around your whole body. The cold was starting to bother you more. You could barely feel your hands anymore, and your whole body was shivering more and more with every passing second.

„They’re coming back for us, right?“ you suddenly asked Porco without even thinking about the real meaning of your words. Did you mean the enemy? Or the Marleyans?

It took Porco only a short while, before he carefully reached for your hand, brushing his ice-cold fingers against your skin. „We’re not dying here.“

„We’re not dying here,“ you repeated after him, squeezing his hand a little harder.

Were you two the only ones left alive? From so many soldiers all around? It was possible. But even if not, you had only each other to lean on now. And you were determined to do everything possible, to keep Porco and yourself alive long enough, to return home. You had people back in Liberio waiting for your return. Family and friends.

And you both gave the other Warriors your words, that you’ll wait for their return from Paradis. Even if you only knew Pieck and Zeke, since the others left before you and Porco met, you couldn’t wait to meet his brother and the other three heroes sent amongst the island devils. Porco told you a lot about them all. Sometimes you felt like you knew them for many years, even if you never met them in person.

It felt like another eternity went by until Porco finally moved and climbed out from under the dead soldier. He was moving slowly and carefully, apparently quite dizzy. „Can you move?“ he asked worriedly, rolling the other soldier's body from yours. The sound you heard when it hit the ground made you sick. „What about your injuries? Are you in pain?“

„I’m fine.“ You weren’t fine, but there was no point in saying that out loud. There was nothing he could do to help you now. All there was to do, was wait for the Marleyans.

Or for death.

„How’s your head?“ you asked him, reaching out your hand and brushing your fingers alongside his cheek. Not seeing his face very clearly was for the best. This way you only had to imagine all the pain, fear, and exhaustion that was written all over it.

„It hurts a bit.“

„You should lay down. It’s not like we can do anything now.“

„I’m going to,“ he assured you, helping you sit up. The effects of the local anesthetic were long gone, your whole left side felt like it was on fire or as if somebody was repeatedly stabbing you. Your whole leg hurt as well, but it wasn’t as bad. „I just want to hold you. We need to stay warm. It’s a long time until morning.“

„That’s the only reason you want to hold me?“ you teased him, frowning a bit when Porco took the coat from one of the soldiers and tossed it around your shoulders. Just your own clothes weren’t going to be enough.

„Right now, that’s the main reason. But there are others as well.“ His tiny smirk made your heart swell up with hope. He was still trying to be the typical Porco Galliard you fell in love with more than a year ago. He was an idiot most of the time, but he was your idiot. You wouldn’t trade him for anything in the whole wide world. „I don’t think they’ll return until morning. If they return.“

„They will!“ you reassured him, taking the other coat he was giving you. Its entire back was covered in dried blood. But it was warm and that was the most important thing.

„Do you know any good stories? We shouldn’t fall asleep.“

„Not really, but I can make up a one or two.“

„I remember some old fairytales my mom used to read to me and Marcel when we were little.“ You smiled softly, while Porco took two other coats for himself, finally settling down next to you.

He leaned his back against the trench wall, half sitting and half laying down to ease his dizziness. With painful tears you moved closer, pressing your body up against his. With one coat undernet you and the other covering you like a blanket, you rested your head on Porco’s chest, arms tightly wrapped around his body.

„Do you think they would notice if we lit a tiny fire? Just to warm our hands or...“

„We can’t risk that,“ Porco answered before you were able to finish the sentence, wrapping his arms around you. He was really careful not to hurt you in any way, even on accident. „Somebody may still be lurking around.“

„We shouldn’t talk then.“

„We shouldn’t, but we’ll go crazy if we stay quiet until the morning.“

He was right. When all you could hear was the eerie quiet, all the death and destruction seemed even closer. It was like Death itself looking over your shoulder, waiting for the right moment to slice its scythe through your body.

„So... tell me one of those fairytales,“ you suggested, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. When your lips made contact with his icy skin, even more intense shivers ran down your back. „I’d like one with a happy ending.“

„They all have a happy ending. That’s all kids are supposed to know... happiness and peace.“

You smiled a little, closing your eyes for a short while. Porco stayed quiet for a second, maybe thinking about something, while his hand was running up and down your back, trying to warm you up a bit and keep you calm. What made you open your eyes again, was a feeling of tiny snowflaked landing on your face.

„I’ve never seen this much snow. Nature is really pretty up here,“ you said, wiping them away from your cheeks. „All those pine forests, the mountains around us, and the snow itself... I’d like to live in a place like this one day.“

„Does living in this nasty cold really sound that exciting to you?“

„Yeah, it’s peaceful.“

Keeping your eyes open was getting harder and harder. Even more, after Porco really started telling the old fairytales. You could tell he didn’t remember all the details, but he quickly made something up, creating a whole new story in the process. But it was fun, he kept your mind occupied for some time.

You really couldn’t remember the last time somebody was telling you a story about adorable little animals and magical beings in the depths of an enchanted forest. Surely nobody ever did it like Porco Galliard, who didn’t hesitate to add some snarky little comments when something seemed stupid to him. Even though it was a kid's tale, and its purpose was to sound childish and sometimes even a little silly.

„Are you still listening?“ Porco asked after a while, looking down at you settled in his arms. You were listening, even if his words slowly started to sound miles away. „Hey, Y/N! Don’t close your eyes, we can’t fall asleep!“ His lips made contact with your cheek, while he run his shaking fingers through your hair. „Look at me, please.“

You did your best, but lifting your eyelids was almost impossible. It was still snowing, and some of the snowflakes were landing right on your eyelashes. „I’m listening to you, just can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I’m really tired.“

„I know, but you have to stay awake.“

„Can I take a short nap? For a couple of minutes?“ He shook his head, kissing your forehead while pushing strands of hair behind your ear.

„Keep your eyes on me, okay? We’re gonna talk about something, anything really. Tell me about all the stupid girly things I don’t give a damn about, but you love doing so much.“

You smiled a little, swallowing hard. „Like my favorite nail polish, I used to wear every day before joining the military? Or the ways I love to style my hair?“

„Yeah, precisely.“

„Every mission requires a different one. You know... to change things up a little.“

His quiet laugh gave you some very-needed strength. You had to hold on. For yourself, but mainly for Porco. He needed you. Playing a tough guy came naturally to him, that’s why not many people approached him. But you knew better. You knew the true Porco Galliard, who needed support just like everyone else. He just wasn’t the type to ask for it. It had to be you, who reached out to him and waited patiently until he accepted your help.

It wasn’t love at first sight between the two of you. You needed time to get to know each other, then falling in love somehow came naturally. With every interaction you had with him, with every little gesture and every mission, he underwent with the rest of the military. It was dangerous, of course. But Commander Magath, the main leader of the Warrior Unit, saw it as a good chance for Porco to prove his loyalty and eagerness to inherit one of the Titans a few years later.

He was still angry about not getting the Armored Titan, even after giving his everything during every single training. But it seemed that since he got to know you, he calmed down a bit. Maybe even enjoyed the fact, that he wasn’t at Paradis right now.

Surely, he missed hir brother and worried about him, because the mission was taking them way too long. Even Marley got concerned and almost a month ago sent the Beast and the Cart Titan after them. That’s why this mission surprised you so much. You never expected the military to engage in combat without any of the Titans.

„And what is your favorite?“

„Hairstyle?“

„Yeah. Do you have one?“

„No, not really,“ you shrugged, cuddling up to him even further. „I never liked my hair. All of those hairstyles are just supposed to keep it out of my face.“ It’s not like you hated your hair, but it always had a mind of its own.

„I like your hair. Mostly when I get to play with it while we cuddle,“ he smiled again lovingly, trying to keep the concern in his tone under control. „When we’re in my room, in the warm bed, under even warmer covers. Drinking hot tea or chocolate. Or that disgustingly sugary coffee you like.“

„You only tried it once and didn’t even drink the whole thing.“

„I’ll try again when we get home, okay?“

You nodded, unwillingly closing your eyes again. Porco almost immediately nudged you a little, commanding you to open your eyes. He wanted you to talk more, about anything. But even opening your mouth and moving your tongue was becoming too much.

Everything was becoming too much. The cold. The blood loss. The overall tiredness.

„You promised not to leave me, remember?“ Porco asked more urgently, rubbing your back under the coats you used to cover yourselves. You could feel him shivering as well, but it seemed that he endured the cold better than you. „Hold on, we’re going home soon, I promise.“

„I love you.“

„I love you too, angel. But you can’t fall asleep, do you understand? You can’t.“

Your hands and feet felt completely numb, almost as if they weren’t part of your body anymore. Even your airways and lungs hurt from the constant freezing air all around. Everything was becoming blurry and confusing, reality slowly withdrawing from your reach.

„Wake me up after... twenty... twenty minutes.“

„How the hell am I supposed to know when twenty minutes pass?“

You smiled for yourself, gripping the fabric of his uniform. „Count. It will... keep you... busy.“

Porco answered something, but you couldn’t make out his words anymore. Not when tiredness took over you and you simply weren’t able to open your eyes anymore. In his arms, you felt safe and loved. You could fall asleep very easily. Too easily, which wasn’t good.

You knew staying awake was crucial for survival. At least your mind knew it. But your exhausted body wanted something different. Some proper rest, even if for a couple of minutes. Morning would come faster if you sleep for a bit. And the pain would disappear as well.

Everything would be so much easier.

„I shouldn’t allow you, but... okay, sleep for a bit.“

„Thanks,“ you muttered almost inaudibly. „I’ll... wake up... promise.“

Despite your reassurance, you had no control over what would happen. And soon you didn’t even know anything about your surroundings. You didn’t know if Porco actually tried to wake you up and failed. If so, he probably freaked out, blaming himself for letting you fall asleep.

You promised not to leave him.

And until today, you always did your best to keep your promise.

Losin you would break him beyond repair. Even more, because he couldn’t be sure if Marcel was alive and coming back home. Same for his friends, all of the other Warriors left, only he stayed behind. You were the only one he had left. The only person that kept him going, when he saw no point in trying over and over again.

„Porco?“ you addressed him, your voice hoarse because of the cold air. „You didn’t... wake me up.“

Were you really awake? Or was this just a dream? Everything seemed so distant and unreal. Mostly the sky above your head. It was... green. Not entirely, just a couple of long swirling lights shining brighter than the moon. They were unbelievably beautiful, like something out of this world. Like something straight out of one of the fairytales Porco was telling you just a short while ago.

„Am I hallucinating?“ You tried to prop yourself up a bit better to be closer to the sky. All you wanted to do at that moment was reach for the lights and let them caress your freezing skin. For some reason, it felt as if they would be pleasantly warm. „Porco? Do you see that too?“

Even if it was just a dream, it was surely the most beautiful dream you’ve ever had. Seeing something so magical, while all that surrounded you was death, seemed like a miracle no one would believe you witnessed with your own eyes.

„Porco?“

Why wasn’t he responding? Did he not see probably the most stunning thing in this world?

It was hard to tear your gaze away from the lights. Just then you remembered hearing about something like this. The northern lights, yes. Your dad had a pretty thick book about many natural phenomena all around the world, and the northern lights were one of them. In that book, they were also called the Aurora borealis.

No picture ever would accurately depict the true beauty of that rich green illuminating everything below. You could cry right on that spot, that’s how beautiful the lights were.

„Porco...“ you said your boyfriend’s name one more time, before finally looking right at him. His head was resting against the trench wall, while his arms were limply holding you against his body. That’s when you realized his eyes were closed and he probably didn’t hear anything you said. „Hey... wake up.“

You gently rubbed his chest, pressing your lips to his cheek. He loved when you woke him up with a sweet kiss in the morning or after taking a nap together. And you loved the tiniest smile on his lips, while his eyes were still heavy with sleep.

„Please... Porco, wake up. It’s been more than twenty minutes.“

You tried to gently shake him awake, but he didn’t respond. His eyes didn’t open at the sound of your voice. Hell, his whole body felt cold as ice, while he was barely even breathing.

„Porco... I promised... promised to never leave you, but... you can’t leave me either.“ Your frozen fingers gently brushed a few disheveled strands of loose hair from his face. „I need you.“

What were you supposed to do? You could barely move yourself, all the strength had already left your body. There was no way you could save anybody. Not yourself, and not the boy you loved so openly and so sincerely.

„You promised me we’ll go back home and drink my... disgustingly sugary coffee.“

Tears slowly started to collect in your eyes. But you simply didn’t have enough energy to even let them fall onto your cheeks. Your head collapsed back onto his chest, your eyes closing almost immediately. Not even the pretty swirling lights above your head could keep you awake. Not anymore.

The cold was slowly trying to lull you back into the darkness, while your heart was breaking into million pieces. Both of you were dying and there was no way of getting help. If you screamed, nobody would hear you or answer you. All the people around you were long gone or on the other side of this entire conflict.

„Stay with me...“ you mumbled to Porco, focusing on his barely audible heartbeat. „Just hold on. Just a... minute longer. Marley is... coming... back for us.“

You didn’t even believe your own words. If they wanted to, they would have come back already. But why would they? The lives of ordinary Eldians never mattered to them.

Not yours.

Not even Porco’s.

You could feel your consciousness slipping away, knowing your life will be ending right there very soon. All it took was falling asleep again. A few more dreams, maybe. Or nightmares about your inability to save someone you loved more than your own life.

That’s why you kept fighting sleep over and over again, while quietly begging Porco to wake up.

The northern lights kept dancing high above your head, bringing at least some peace to your shattered soul. Tears finally rolled down your cheeks, just a second before you heard a familiar noise. It was coming from somewhere...

From the sky.

You once again raised your head, searching the night sky with teary eyes and chattering teeth. For a minute, the bright green lights were the only things you could register. Only then the dark silhouette of the familiar white airship appeared. You could barely catch your breath from the sudden rush of hope and excitement.

„They came back,“ you breathed, looking at Porco again and kissing his forehead. „They came back, love. Just hold on. Please just... stay with me. Stay with me.“ Trying to move and do something suddenly seemed so easy. The unexpected wave of adrenaline rushing through your veins again made you think up a simple plan in the blink of an eye.

All of you carried a little flare gun on you at all times. You still had yours, while Porco had his. Right in the little black pouch attached to your uniform, usually also carrying spare ammo. Shooting it to announce your location could possibly notify the enemy. But without doing it the soldiers on the airship would never find you in time.

It was the only way.

The very last thing you were able to do, prior to everything going dark before your eyes once again.

Leaving a perfectly warm bed during cold mornings was one of the worst things imaginable. That’s why you were glad, that there was nothing to do and nowhere to go. Staying in bed was the only acceptable thing for the whole day ahead of you.

„I have your disgustingly sugary coffee,“ said Porco with a teasing grin on his lips. He gently kicked the door closed behind him, hands full with two white mugs. „I’m doing this just because I promised you. And only this one time.“

You rolled your eyes at him, carefully rolling onto your back. The gunshot wounds on your side and thigh were healing quite nicely. It had only been three days, but you felt a lot better already. And if nothing else, you had at least a month off your military duties.

Experiencing a morning like this was something close to a miracle. You had no idea, how you got back to your hometown. When you woke up for a short while, the airship was already landing in Liberio. Soldiers and medics were all around you, doing everything in their power to keep you, Porco, and ten other wounded Eldian soldiers alive. Only twelve of you made it back home. None other. Even though almost two hundred soldiers were present in that damned trench.

After a few hours, you woke up in a warm hospital room. The bullets were finally out from your body, the sutures corrected, and the wounds closed and bandaged up. After a blood transfusion, good sleep in a warm bed, and some pain meds, you could slowly start to let go of all that happened during that day.

„Did you sleep well?“ he asked, sitting down on your side of the bed.

„Yeah, wonderfully,“ you assured him, taking one of the mugs. „Thanks to you, of course,“ you added sweetly, kissing him as soon, as he leaned closer, putting his own mug onto the nightstand.

„Sleeping in my bed is always a good idea.“

„It’s not about the bed, but about the company beside me.“ You saw he wanted another kiss, which you didn’t want to deny him. Not after everything. Not after almost losing him. „I love you so much, Porco.“

He smiled, brushing his lips against yours once more. „I figured that out after you saved my life. That was really sexy of you,“ he teased you, rubbing his nose against yours.

„And not freezing to death was really sexy of you.“

When you woke up in the hospital, he was already sitting beside your bed, holding your hand tightly. The doctor told you, that Porco was there almost from the moment he regained consciousness. He demanded to see you and make sure you were okay, even though he was still hurting and confused as well since he really did have a concussion.

He even almost got into a fight with your parents, when they came to see you and wanted to spend some moments alone with you since he simply refused to leave your side.

No wonder he was more than pleased when you spent your first night out of the hospital over at his house. His parents welcomed both of you with so much love and gratitude. Everybody was well aware, that this mission was a close call for you both. If the airship came just twenty minutes later, you probably wouldn’t be able to shoot the flaregun and notify them.

„It’s a shame you didn’t see them,“ you said, when Porco climbed back to bed beside you, almost immediately wrapping you in a tight hug.

„Who?“

„The northern lights, they were absolutely stunning. Like I can hardly describe them with words, they were just... probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.“

You still weren’t quite sure, if they were really there. You never asked anyone about them. Who knows, maybe they were just a little fraction of your own imagination, that was needed at that moment for the both of you to survive. Maybe it was just your brain's last attempt in saving itself.

„The whole sky was shining in green swirling lights. It felt like out of a fairytale.“

„Well, you didn’t wake me up to look at them,“ he mocked you, planting a soft kiss on top of your head.

„Sorry, you seemed too busy dying. Maybe next time,“ you answered sarcastically, pinching his cheek and meeting his lips in a quick kiss. „We should return up north one day. Just to look at them throughout the whole night. I’m sure you’ll be mesmerized.“

Porco smiled, pulling you even closer to his chest. It felt so good, even better than ever before. You promised yourself to cherish similar moments with him even more from now on.

None of you knew when the last day of your life would come. But until then, you could try your best and enjoy all that it had to offer. Most importantly the love, that you found in one another and which kept you going through everything.

#porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard x you #attack on titan #aot #aot x you #aot x reader #aot warriors #shingeki no kyojin #snk

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vainilla-milk · 2 years

Text

Flufftober Day 12 - Injury and care

pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem! Reader

tags: college au, slight angst, mention of family problems

wordcount: 526

note: i'm back... i guess?

"You know I hate it when you get involved in fights," you say as you clean his temple wound. Reiner remains silent, just listening to you sitting there as the alcohol penetrates and burns into his slightly bloody skin.

You sigh in frustration, he doesn't even look at you, but you know it's because he feels bad that he let you down. "It's your second fight of the month, you almost made it a semester without getting hit on by other guys and-"

"I'm sorry" he interrupts you, his body turns towards you and his hands gently lower yours as he holds his gaze upwards into your eyes. "I know I shouldn't have done it, but it's not like I had a choice"

You drop your tense shoulders, Reiner's thumb meets your cheek and caresses you gently.

"Listen, they messed with me first when you'd left for the bathroom. I wasn't planning on punching them, but when they pounced on me I just thought I'd defend myself"

"What about last time?" you ask dropping your body onto the couch, now having to keep your gaze upwards, simply Reiner was quite a bit taller and bigger than you.

He evades your eyes and simply stares at the floor, his amber gaze showed the exhaustion he felt.

"It was stupid, I guess" you hear his deep voice almost whisper.

You sigh again and rest your head on his shoulder, instinctively you both curl your arms and intertwine your fingers, letting both hands rest on Reiner's thigh.

The room softly lit by the lamp envelopes you in silence, Reiner stroking the back of your hand in circles thinking about what to say to you.

He hasn't been having a good time and feels pushed to the brink of collapse, unfortunately.

"Not so long ago, when I went to visit my mother, my father showed up at the house" he confesses, you open your eyes slightly in surprise but still remain calm. You give his hand a little squeeze in support as he tells you. "It was an unpleasant encounter, as usual"

His voice trailed off as his hand seemed to cling to yours, his gaze remaining lost on the ground.

"Is that what had you so upset?" you ask almost in a whisper, as if you didn't want your own voice to hurt him.

Finally Reiner turns to look at you, his melancholy gaze making you want to hug him for the rest of your life. You listen attentively to the whole altercation in his family, understanding why he had been in such a volatile mood lately.

You comfort him as you and no one else can, with words of support and containment that Reiner had little accustomed to before he met you. When you caress his face, you seal the moment with a kiss, one in which only the lack of air made you separate.

Your foreheads meet and you exchange sweet, understanding glances.

"Thank you" he whispers.

You smile slightly at him. "I love you" you reply.

Your lips meet again, knowing that this would be another magical night where you would show each other deep love.

#reiner aot #aot reiner #reiner x you #reiner x reader #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x y/n #aot fic #aot imagines #aot x reader #reiner fluff #flufftober 2022 #flufftober2022 #reiner brainrot #aot warriors

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likeholymary · 11 months

Note

hi hopefully this doesn’t come off as creepy or anything i just wanted to say i LOVE your levi fic SO MUCH! i saw in notes that this is your tumblr and just wanted to say i love it ! again never see any warrior fics out there so i’m rlly glad i stumbled upon yours :) have a great day!

no, not creepy at all!! thank you so so much for your support!!! it genuinely means the world to me, i wouldn’t keep going without the support of readers like you! can’t wait for you to read what comes next, once the 104th joins the scouts, everything is going to be absolutely insane.

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quiveringdeer · 2 years

Text

More musings on AoT Canon Verse

This time focusing on geopolitical interactions, immigration and such. Basically been thinking about this for the fic I've been dreaming of and the hyperfocus is deep y'all 😩 Pleeeease feel free to leave corrections or thoughts in comments, my dms/asks or reblog with commentary.

Concepts and thoughts on my Reader's potential background:

Reader's mom is from outside the Eldian/Marley empire and holds political power of her own through the ties of her father who is possibly a leading ambassador? Really want this version but with how it seems patriarchy is so pervasive in Marleyan society that if her mom was to marry into it somehow to put her in Marley long enough to form connections with the Warrior Candidates it just doesn't seem conceivable?

So her dad being Marleyan could be a potential still, but he'd have to be super progressive thinking. Or an implant spy like Kruger? Thought that's a shit ton of trauma and shit I don't know if I have the space to explore lmao

More likely her dad will be someone either military/diplomat from outside the Marley/Eldian reach of things, but for some reason does trade or work with Marley? Perhaps they're more a neutral country like Switzerland/Wakanda 👀 Cause reader's gonna have a smart mouth and progressive thoughts about the shit that's going on, so she'll need to be up in a family environment that will value that. Even if they're impressing upon her to not go talkin like that in public. Working from the inside to subvert things (sure know how that feels 🙃) — I think this would most likely lead to her mother being Marleyan? Cause like Marley folks seem xenophobic as heck/especially high gov officials so I feel like to walk around freely and not constantly be accosted she's gonna have to at least be part Marleyan. :/

I think this would also help her possibly relate to both Rei and Porco. One of her parents would have grown up in the Marley propaganda machine–even if somehow they avoided being completely indoctrinated and finding companionship and love with someone outside it to start a family.

One other thought is from the vague memory that other countries treat Eldians more like actual people and citizens than Marley. So perhaps her mom is Eldian, but escaped Marley via being a refugee or something else. This way she also, in some regard understands the Warriors on the terms of being oppressed. Which I feel like would be easier for me to hold mind space for and portray accurately.

With this I have to figure out a reason that her mother/parent would risk being found out and returning to Marley to give Reader opportunity to grow up with the Warriors :/

My other thoughts surrounding this is the culture of Reader's Nation being accepting of naturalizing refugees and such (what a utopia 😌/but also sheesh hard to comprehend given life) So once they arrive and go through a process they are now citizens of that country and maintain those legal rights when traveling. Even within Marley. Which would be a sticking point cause can't imagine they'd be ok with that. And they'd know this about this Nation's government to it would be difficult to just sneak in ya know? I'm sure there's other countries in verse with "white"/[cause we know this is an our world concept] folks but like what we mainly know are Eldians and Marleyan so if you can't walk the walk and talk the talk and have identifying papers of being Marleyan, then it ain't gonna fly living there.

There could be avenues of getting papers forged and falsifying connections to Marleyan family lines that are sympathetic to the cause? It's hinted that the doctor that helped Kruger falsify blood work was sympathetic so precedence for that. Also that reminds me that obviously they do blood tests! aiyiyi

#long but i want people to maybe skim #instead of glossing by a read more #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #marley warriors #eldians #aot meta #nat talks aot #porco x reader #reiner x reader #porco galliard #reiner braun #gabi braun #pieck finger #onyankopon

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freya-fallen · 2 years

Text

Beastly 5/17

CWs: Manipulative Zeke Yeager, talk about eating people and death

Word count: 3674

Part 1 Part 4 Part 6

Zeke spends a lot of time working. Training, mostly, he says. However, since he’s also the leader of the Warriors, he has paperwork and other responsibilities. Once a week, he checks the quarters of each of the youths under his charge to make sure they’re keeping everything tidy, and so he knows they’re taking care of themselves.

They’re all teenagers aside from him, so he’s the one who has to keep them accountable. It’s how he keeps the Marleyans who run the military from interfering too much.

“The boys have been asking about you.”

A lance of bitterness spurs through you and you set down your fork. Breakfast is suddenly less appealing when thinking about the two boys whom you’d counted as allies so recently.

Zeke is watching you, waiting, so you say, “Oh?”

He nods. He’s shaved off his beard since returning to Liberio, and his hair is shorter. You liked him scruffy, but he’s handsome like this, too. “Would you like to have lunch with us?”

It’s the one meal a day you have to fend for yourself, though Zeke reminds you what’s there before he leaves everyday.

You don’t want to see Reiner and Bertholdt.

One large hand lands on your thigh, imparting a squeeze. “I know you feel betrayed, sweetheart,” your brother implores, “but you have to understand that they were doing what they were taught was their duty.”

Your throat tightens and your eyes grow warm. “They killed my mom, Zeke.”

“Oh, honey. I know, but they were younger than you are now when they did it. I know they regret it, and that they’d give anything for the world to be a different place.”

He cares so much about the teens under his charge, just like he cares about you. He’s known them since they were both small children. You’ve learned Marleyan Warrior candidates start training as young as five.

Even with the horrors of titan invasion, the military in Paradis doesn’t allow kids to join until they are twelve. You can’t imagine being that little, and getting inundated with all the messages about good order and discipline.

“Why did they become Warriors?” you ask after dwelling on the image of chubby-cheeked children standing at attention.

“Well, Reiner’s father is Marleyan. He always hoped becoming a Warrior would unite his family.” He rubs his chin thoughtfully as he recalls.

“Did it?”

“Well, no,” Zeke says sadly. “Marleyans see us all as a blight on the earth, and I can’t rightly blame them.”

You know that your people, Eldians, can become titans, and that’s something unique to your blood, but you have to ask, “Why do they hate us?”

“Our people used our ability to conquer other nations and rule over them.”

“Oh.” That certainly explains it. “And they all feel this way?”

“To most, the potential to turn into a titan is evidence of an ancient deal with a devil. They even call Paradis Eldians ‘Island Devils.’ And—” he hesitates before the next part, “many would rather die than claim an Eldian in their family.”

“That’s horrible.”

He nods. “It is. You have to understand, this is the mindset with which they rule over us. We serve in their military and live as less to atone for the actions of our ancestors. Eldians and Marleyans alike are raised with this knowledge. Those of us who choose to take on the mantle of titan shifters are elevated because we are sacrificing thirteen years of our life to serve as their weapons— and then die to pass that ability forward.”

You stare at Zeke as he finishes this little explanation, wide eyes filling with tears that tremble across your vision, already cool when they finally spill over. “What—” You blink away the tears and try to clear your throat. “What do you mean?”

Your brother leans forward and takes one of your hands in both of his. Those silver eyes bore into you from behind gleaming glass. “I mean that those of us who become titan shifters only have thirteen years to live. Once that time comes to an end, we will die. If we die without being consumed by another titan, then our titan form will go to a child born after that time. To avoid that, we train our successors to be ready to inherit our titans.”

“How long ago did you inherit your titan?” Your voice wavers, catches halfway through, but you manage to get it all out.

“Eight years,” he tells you, his sad smile saying it all.

Your eyes go wide as you realize that you have five years with him. Five years, and then your brother will be gobbled up by someone who wants to take his place.

And then your blood freezes in your veins.

Eren.

“Eren doesn’t know,” you whisper.

Zeke moves one hand to your cheek to brush away your tears. You hadn’t realized you were crying. The streams down your face are a continuous deluge, but he doesn’t stop trying to clear them for you. “I’m not surprised. I didn’t want to believe it when I heard, but our father was not a good man when I knew him.”

“Why? Why was he exiled?”

“I— It’s complicated.” For the first time since you’ve known him, your brother looks torn.

Your hands wrap around his this time, and you look up at him pleadingly. “Please. I need to know.”

“I’ll tell you,” he promises, and you nod. “But not right now. You’ve already learned Eren and I have our days numbered. Let’s not add to that burden today, hm?”

“When?”

He leans forward and kisses your cheek. “Soon.”

When he stands from the table, you belatedly remember that this all started with a question. “Zeke?” He pauses and waits for you to continue. “I think I’d like to have lunch with you and the others.”

“Good. I’ll see you then, sweetheart.”

His gentle smile remains with you after he’s left, a comfort against the doom looming over the two boys bound to you by blood.

You spend the rest of the morning reading and slowly getting ready for the day. You decide to wear a long cream skirt and a white blouse. There’s a hat that matches rather well, though you feel weird wearing a hat all the time. Apparently it’s normal in Marley.

Everything is so nicely made, soft and smooth under your fingers. You don't think you’re familiar with the material, but you like how it hangs and breathes.

“Don’t you look pretty,” Zeke comments when he comes home to get you. There’s a tall young man behind him. At first, you assume it’s Reiner, but the color is more dull, and he’s not quite as broad.

He wears a yellow armband.

“This is Colt Grice, the front runner for my chosen successor.” Zeke pats the boy’s shoulder before leaning down to kiss your cheek. You’re surprised he’s so affectionate in front of one of his juniors, but you’re happy to accept the gesture. “Colt, this is my sister.”

Whether he’s surprised, you can’t tell. You think there’s a flicker of something behind Colt’s hazel eyes, but it’s swiftly suppressed.

“Nice to meet you,” you say, to which he responds in kind.

You take your brother’s arm and let him guide you from the building. They have a private dining mess, somewhere the Warriors can talk about whatever they want without having to worry about others, Zeke informs her. He gives a little inane commentary about their surroundings as they walk, and Colt occasionally chimes in, but none of it matters in the scheme of things.

“And here we have my own little study.” It’s nice. There are couches and chairs, all padded with matching pale blue cushioning, a huge desk, and a modest sized table. Tall shelves are full of mementos and books alike, and there are pictures on the yellow walls.

Sitting around the table, you find Reiner and Bertholdt seated on one of the long sides of the table, in twin chairs. On the other sprawls a pale, dainty young woman, her dark hair fanned over one arm. An unfamiliar blond boy stares out the window, leaning against Zeke’s desk.

“Oh, hello, there.” The woman rises to all fours on the couch. “Faye?” When you nod, she beams. “Oh, you’re so cute. You didn’t tell me she was so cute.”

You blush as Zeke guides you into the room. “Pieck, move over, will ya?”

The young woman pouts, but slides over to allow space for you and your brother to join her. “Pieck Finger, the Cart,” she says, as though that explains everything. With the red band around her arm, you figure it’s the name of her titan.

“Porco Galliard, the Jaw.” The blond boy has turned to face you, but remains behind the desk.

Zeke tuts. “Get over here, Pock. It’s impolite to introduce yourself from so far away.”

The boy, who looks to be around your age, sneers as he rounds the desk. “Don’t call me that.”

It has the sound of something he’s had to say multiple times, and no one bats an eye in response.

Reiner and Bertholdt are both studying your. You’ve felt their gazes since you stepped into the room, though at least Bertholdt has the grace to seem embarrassed when you catch them. Reiner’s eyes narrow and flit over you the little skin that shows. You’re glad the blouse is covering, because the bite mark Zeke left is still healing.

“I’m surprised you’re allowed out.” Your attention diverts back to Porco. He takes a seat at the end of the table, though he’s not sitting in it properly. “Being an enemy combatant and all.”

You blink at his boldness, but before you can say anything, Bertholdt speaks. “Leave it alone, Porco. You know she’s not a threat.”

“I don’t know. She seemed good enough at killing titans.” His pretty grey eyes survey you sharply. “It’s not like she’s a civilian.”

You tense, and Zeke wraps an arm around you. “I got permission from the old man. She didn’t know what was going on. Surely you saw that, too. None of those scouts knew the truth.”

“I also know she handled herself on those little missions. What’s to stop her from—”

“She doesn’t have access to weapons or—

“— slashing our necks—”

“— ODM gear, so how would she—”

“Excuse me.” At your slightly raised voice, Reiner and Porco both fall silent. “I’m really not a threat. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I’m a terrible scout. I can ride, and kill unintelligent titans easily enough, and take orders, but I’m miserable fighting people. And I’m—” You grimace at the truth of what you’re about to say. “Well, I’m soft. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

The blond runs a hand through the longer strands of his undercut and considers you keenly for a moment. “Yeah, you are pretty shitty at ground fighting, huh?”

Despite saying as much, you flash hot with irritation and embarrassment. “I’m not that bad.”

“Nah, you are.” Porco flashes a grin, one nice enough to make you hot for an entirely different reason, and you feel Zeke’s arm tighten around you. “I saw it myself. Got it all up here.” He taps his temple.

Seeing your confusion, Zeke clarifies, “We inherit memories from those whose titan we inherit.”

You have no idea how that’s relevant until Porco reveals, “Your friend Ymir, she took my brother’s titan. He was the Jaw when they left Marley five years ago.”

Your face falls. Your memory surrounding the day you met Zeke on the Wall is a little fuzzy, but you vaguely recall something about Ymir needing to come with across the sea, how she had something that was missing.

“You ate Ymir.”

The teen shrugs, the lines of his face unaffected by your horror. “Yeah, that’s how it works.” Your expression twists, and Porco scoffs at it. “Look, she ate my brother first, and she knew what she was getting into when she came back with us. Don’t get all up in arms about it.”

How can you not have strong feelings about it when Ymir is someone you’ve known and trained with for years? You know her as well as you know Reiner and Bertholdt, who are still watching you with rapt attention.

“How can you all think this is okay?”

“It’s normal for us,” says Pieck. She leans over Zeke to meet your gaze. “This is just the way things work. Just like, where you’re from, it’s normal to go out and kill titans.”

You turn your sight to a scenic painting on the wall, staring into it as though you can climb through it and disappear. “And all those titans were once people like us.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Zeke pulls you against his side. “I know it’s all a lot to take in. How about we just focus on eating lunch right now, hm?”

You look up at him, into those pale eyes that are so searing and so comforting all at once, and nod.

He smiles and strokes your cheek. “That’s my girl.”

There are boxes on the table, and you didn’t even pay attention to them when you came in because you were too focused on your company. Now, Bertholdt is opening them up to reveal food. There are sandwiches sliced from long loaves of bread, the halves nearly dripping their insides with how full they are. You recognize leafy greens, meat, cheese, and probably vegetables. There are shiny green apples in another box, and some strange crisps you’ve never seen before, but find out are from fried potatoes.

You don’t try those; you know you won’t be able to keep yourself from dwelling on Sasha’s probable reaction to them.

Zeke hands you a plat with a segment of sandwich on it, then adds an apple to the meal. There’s already a glass of water poured from a pitcher in front of you. “Eat up,” he orders, and you comply by taking a bite of the tart fruit.

You eat in silence while the others chatter around you, then there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

At your brother’s permission, the door opens to reveal a young man in a sharp military uniform. “The general wants a word with you, chief.”

Zeke nods. “I’ll be right there.” He sets aside his food and pats your head. “I’ll be right back. Stay here, okay?”

“Yes, Zeke.”

All eyes seem like they follow him to the door, and the second it shuts, Reiner’s attention snaps back to you. “How is he treating you? Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Your brows furrow and you set your plate on the table; you don’t have much of an appetite now that you’re without your brother and facing his Warriors alone. Never have you been more aware you’re in enemy territory than this moment.

“Because the last time we saw you, Zeke—”

“Reiner,” Bertholdt interrupts sharply. It’s a warning, though the blond waves it off.

“I just want to know he’s not being inappropriate.”

You don’t like this line of questioning. “He’s my brother,” you retort. “He’s making sure I eat and bathe and take care of myself.”

Reiner’s eyes narrow. “He was your brother before, too.”

“I didn’t know that,” you snarl. You want him to shut his traitor mouth, but you also worry about saying too much, giving away what transpired to the other three in the room.

Those others are watching everything without even trying to hide it.

“He knew it.” It’s Bertholdt who speaks this time, his voice evenly measured. “I told him your name myself.”

You and Zeke have talked about this a little. You know how complicated the situation really is, though for an outsider it might seem like he’d taken advantage of you or that you were a naive little girl or something. You sigh, wondering what you can say to make them stop interrogating you.

“What are you guys talking about?” Porco finally sits properly in the chair, though he leans so his elbows are on his knees. “What happened?”

The two former scouts exchange a glance, one you resent.

“It’s none of your business,” you say. “It’s between me and Zeke. We’ve dealt with it, and it’s done.” That last is toward Bertholdt and Reiner. Neither looks convinced, but one nods, then the other, and you settle back in your seat.

Pieck stretches across the couch to inspect your face. Her eyes are dark and pretty, and her nose adds a sense of strength to her otherwise fragile beauty. “Did they find you kissing or something?”

She’s matter-of-fact about it that you choke in disbelief. Your cheeks flush, your ears grow hot, your throat swelters behind your collar.

Porco laughs and slaps his thigh. “Holy shit, that’s fucked up.”

Your panicked gaze flits to him. “No, it’s not like that—”

“You had a crush on him, huh?” The boy’s grin is sharp as a wolf’s growl.

“He is goodlooking,” Pieck remarks with a non judgemental shrug. “I’ve always thought so.

“Yeah, if you like giant monkeys.”

You glare at the Jaw titan. You know it’s a reference to Zeke’s titan form, but you haven’t actually seen it yet. You just know the name, and that it’s appropriately hairy.

“Can we not talk about this?” you ask into your water cup, having taken it to try and draw its coolness into yourself.

He chuckles again, shaking his head. “You could do better, you know. If you don’t exclusively like guys a lot older, I’d be happy to take you out.”

Is he flirting with you?

“Pock, back off.”

His genial smile morphs as he sneers, “Shut it, Braun.”

“Boys, behave. You’re setting a bad example.” Pieck pointedly looks at you, then Colt.

It dawns on you then that Colt is technically a bit of an outsider, too. He’s the only other person without a titan form in this room, though he’s hoping to have Zeke’s someday—

He’s going to eat Ze—

You don’t want to think about that right now, how your brother is training this boy to take his place someday, and seems content to do so despite the ramifications.

“Besides, the War Chief will be back any minute,” she continues. “We don’t wanna upset him, do we? You know he’ll have no problems making us run laps for upsetting his sweet li’l sis.”

Porco rolls his eyes, but deflates. “Yeah, yeah.”

The room falls quiet, everyone electing to focus on their food. You pick at yours, but finally manage to finish the whole apple and half your sandwich. You even accept a few chips at Pieck’s insistence, and they’re almost too salty and crunchy. Sasha would love them.

It’s quiet when Zeke returns. He steps behind you, rubbing a large hand down your back, and surveys the group. “Well, chow time is just about done. I’m gonna take my sister back now.”

“It was great meeting you, sweetie,” Pieck pipes up. Porco nods, Bertholdt waves, Reiner doesn’t say anything, but he watches as you go.

When Colt gets up, Zeke raises a hand to halt him. “Head back to the other candidates, Colt.”

The trip is much quieter this time, since Zeke feels no need to fill the space between you. He seems contemplative. When you arrive back at his quarters, he turns to hold you in his arms, tipping your chin up to gaze down at you. “Wanna tell me what all that was about?”

“What do you mean?” you reply innocently.

He chuckles. “I saw how awkward the room was when I came in. What, did Reiner and Bertholdt interrogate you?” He sighs at your answering flush.

Before he can extrapolate the wrong conclusion, you say, “No, it wasn’t like that.”

“So what was it like, sweetheart?”

“It’s.” You swallow and frown, thinking of the least offensive way to word everything. “They asked questions, but didn’t say anything too bad. Porco thought maybe they saw us kiss. When I blushed, he figured it’s because I had a crush on you before. That’s all.”

Sometimes you believe Zeke is far smarter than he appears, which is already a fair amount. But when he stares at you with gleaming silver eyes that pierce to the heart of the matter, as precise as a surgeon’s blade, you feel fully exposed to him. You have no secrets, not if he wants them bared.

Then he blinks, shakes his head, and gives a laughing huff. “Oh, honey, is that all? Pock just figured out you like me? That’s adorable.” He dips down to kiss you, a tender action that warms you completely until you remember the conversation you just had.

When you part, you’re flustered and confused. Zeke thinks it’s all your usual embarrassment.

“Say, sweetheart. There’s an event this weekend. It’s a state affair, kinda stuffy, but I’d love to have you come along to keep me company.”

He trails his hands along your arms to intertwine them with yours. “I’d like that.” You know those kinds of things happened in the Walls, too. The military higher ups sometimes had to hobnob with the nobility, which was especially important to Commander Erwin, since the Scouts had the worst budget of all the branches. You’ve never been to one, though. You’re just a random lower-ranked scout.

Zeke gently squeezes your hands. “First time I’ve ever had a date to one of these. I’m looking forward to showing you off.”

It’s another reminder; after all, you’re hardly a proper date. It feels good to know he doesn’t usually bring women, though.

He favors you with another kiss, this one short and chaste, then heads back to the grind.

You grab the book you’ve been perusing, a grade-school level story for Marleyans to help you get better with their writing system, but your thoughts are back with your brother.

#zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager x sister reader #manipulative zeke yeager #aot attack on titan #darkfic #aot darkfic #marley warriors #porco galliard #pieck finger #reiner braun #bertolt hoover #bertholdt hoover #colt grice

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mikareo · 11 months

Note

megumi doing smth pls

⌗ THIRTEEN YEARS ₊ ˖ ་. megumi fushiguro x fem reader (2.6k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ 3 times megumi wants to tell you he loves you, and the 1 time he does.

contains; attack on titan au, marleyan!megumi, eldian!reader, aot spoilers!!! (season 4), forbidden lovers, fluff, angst, kissing, major character death, cannabalism? (titans), annie cameo! author's note; here u get an old draft (psa none of this will make sense if you haven't watched attack on titan!!!!)

i. what is love at first sight

it's almost human instinct; knowing which people are more likely to have good fortune. some are simply born with an advantage— these people having the freedom to walk along the river bank, skip flattened rocks down streams, and laugh with their peers. with families who shop in the market together, hand-in-hand with woven baskets strewn over their shoulders, and all the time in the world to live their lives to the absolute fullest as true freelancers facing the rising sun that sees tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.

but in the truth of it all...the sun doesn't shine on everyone.

there are countless amounts of souls who aren't as blessed as marleyans like megumi. souls entangled with the devil herself, ymir, a woman who singlehandedly birthed the 'race from hell'...which he's never fully agreed with. everyone he knows refers to eldians as humanity's sin, but it's not their fault their biology is simply different.

humans are humans, right? they've done no wrong by being born. especially the warrior candidate he's been staring at for the past hour from a distance. you can't be that bad. after all, you're beautiful.

okay, yes. he has a little crush. he can't help it! one day, he was minding his own business on a walk home from the lab, when gojo had the bright idea of sneaking a peak at the warrior training. that's when megumi first saw you and his world stopped. sure, you were covered in mud and crawling through trenches with a rifle strapped to your back; but that didn't make him any less awestruck. since then he's hidden himself in the same bush, week after week, just to get a glimpse of your face.

"she's a cutie. you've got good taste." okay, creepy.

megumi rolls his eyes, glancing up at his mentor who's the only person who knows of his little secret. "don't you have women to harass?"

"ouch, sassed by a ten year old. i see how it is." gojo chuckles, ruffling his black hair and crouching down to the younger boy's level. "you see her out there? she's killing it. i heard she's the top contender for the female."

"i hope so." his blue eyes are locked on you, watching as your focused expression turns to determination whilst helping your teammate off the ground. "she'll have a better chance of living that way."

"...and maybe your family will let you meet her."

ugh, his family. since he was six, the zenin's have raised him with their questionable values and ideals. as the leading researchers in the modern world, they've revolutionized how eldians are studied! at least that's what he's been told. to be frank, he doesn't care about the right or wrong battle they've propagandized to the rest of humanity. all he cares about is knowing your name and telling you how pretty your eyes are.

"i want to talk to her, at least once." his voice is quiet, but gojo hears.

"why? you wanna tell her you love her?"

he hates him so much.

"no!" megumi exclaims, pushing back the older man in defense. his cheeks are bright red from embarrassment and he can feel the flames emitting from them. "i just want to be her friend, that's all. why do you always make things so weird?"

it's amusing to gojo how his little friend is so flustered. usually megumi is a shy boy, keeping to himself and avoiding contact with his peers; but whenever the conversation topic is you, he seems to perk up...and gojo loves to tease a lovestruck kid.

"don't worry," he smirks, "you'll understand your feelings when you're older. you don't need to tell her quite yet that you love her."

love you?

"just shut up and let me watch." megumi grumbles, resting his head in his hands as you're jumping up and down after being praised by your captain. he wishes he could make you that happy one day. "it's not love, i'm serious."

he'll understand what love means when he gets older. for now, he'll just imagine confessing.

ii. what is love that is forbidden

you're a lot more annoying than he thought you'd be.

after having been selected as the new female titan, your ego is boasting with energy and won't stop boasting no matter how often megumi tells you to zip it. though he was excited to meet you, his thirteen year old self now wishes you'd give him a moment of peace. instead, you insist on following him around whenever and wherever you can and yapping his ear off with comments on everyone and everything about your day. please, just give him a break.

"uh, fushiguro..."

he sighs with exhaustion. "what?"

"i think i locked us in here."

dammit.

"you forgot the key?" he asks.

"i forgot the key." you confirm.

of course you did.

with an exhausted grumble, megumi settles himself on the cold, cement floor of the supply closet you'll both call home for the next few hours. it's both of your days off, but he'd wanted to prep his supplies for his training on monday; to which you, of course, invited yourself along for the ride. you'll stay out of the way. it's fine, he can just ignore you. that's what he told himself...though, it's impossible for him to ignore you.

it's likely that no one will visit the storage room until the evening time— with most of his colleagues at home with their families, cooking a warm meal with lamb and stew. it's also uncommon for any of the researchers to be in liberio on their off days. megumi's just the special kind that doesn't think he'll be plagued by breathing the same air as eldians.

"mind if i join you?" he knows you're asking a rhetorical question and you know he'd never reject you.

with a small plop, you take a seat next to him. he's used to your warmth by now— considering you to be an essential part of his every day, despite how much he enjoys complaining about you— and leans his head against yours. it's obvious that you're sleepy. though, you never indulge in conversations about your training, megumi is well aware of how overworked you are. he can't imagine fighting in wars at this age, especially wars in which you're fourteen meters tall and smashing through brick walls; which is why he tries his best to be there for you when you need him.

your life is a battlefield and he's the peaceful conclusion.

"you know..." the sound of your voice is faint, a great contrast to your usual noise and megumi can tell something is wrong. "when they find us here, they're going to think i kidnapped you."

"i mean what else would the zenin heir be doing with a titan shifter?" you start to choke on your words and he instinctively wraps his arms around you. "you don't need to comfort me, fushiguro. we both know i'm going to be punished after this. you can't apologize and make everything okay like usual."

to your surprise, his pointer finger touches your cheek and gently wipes away your running tears. "...fushiguro—"

"it won't always be like this." he interrupts you, cupping your face as if you're a rare gem that he can't afford breaking. "when i'm in charge, i'm going to change things. you won't have to do this anymore. i won't let them do this to you anymore!"

the two of you are a mess on the floor, crying in each others arms, and wishing that the world was a better place. "you still have thirteen years left. please...please keep fighting for me. i promise i'm going to save you."

"fushiguro..."

"call me by my first name."

"...megumi."

you're beautiful. he wants to kiss you so badly, but he knows now isn't the time. he wants to hold your hand in public, but he knows you'll be berated for doing so. he wants to tell you he loves you, but he's too afraid.

megumi fushiguro is a coward.

...but he's a coward in love; and one day, when he's taller and stronger, he's going to be able to tell you that. he's going to be able to protect you.

iii. what is love that is hopeless

"hold still." megumi's voice is soft, his fingers of the same gentle malice as they tend to your open wounds that haven't quite healed yet. with titan steam wafting from the slashes scattering your forearms and shoulders, they blow into his face in a fury of pain. "dammit, i said hold still."

his brings both arms down to your shoulders, heart breaking at the sight of you wincing in retaliation to his force, but carries on. there's no telling what you would've gotten yourself into if he hadn't insisted he care for your wounds; after making it publicly known that he's to be the only researcher allowed within your vicinity after your tireless warrior missions, none of the other researchers even attempt to get near you. he hates how often you put yourself in harms way in order to save your comrades. you're too brave. you've never been just a warrior of marley, but more or less a warrior of all people.

"i've been sitting here for an hour already, megumi." you roll your eyes, swinging your legs over the metal rims and turning to face your very pissed off best friend. "i'm tired and i'd like to get at least an hour of sleep tonight."

his expression is somewhat terrifying. if you didn't know megumi was such a scaredy cat, you'd be intimidated by his reddened cheeks and eyes of fury. it's almost as if he's an inflamed torch held against fluorescent lighting, pasty and saturated in fear and exhaustion. "i need to make sure you're okay."

"well, i have another plane to catch at dawn," you deflect his concerns. "there's some issue i was assigned to when i landed this morning. i guess one of our enemies isn't afraid of titans yet."

"you're not going."

he's firm in his statement. megumi doesn't like how his colleagues take advantage of you and your abilities. they're working you to skin and bones. if they were the ones checking up on you after every battle they'd know so, but they wouldn't treat you with as much care. his only wish in the world is to keep you safe, which he's doing an awful job at as of yet. "i don't want you getting more hurt than you already are."

"as if it matters." you scoff, leaning towards him in an attempt to get him to back off. "i'll just give 'em a little taste of my titan and they'll run away like mice. it's easy, 'gumi. trust me—"

"life isn't a game!" he's furious.

"well mine is!" you're angry as well.

why don't you get it? why can't you just run away with him?

"i only have four years left! four years, megumi! i don't care if i die tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that. i'm going to either way. you don't have that problem. you don't understand."

without warning, his lips are on yours in his best attempt to stop you from spouting all of his fears and worries from your mouth. he doesn't want to hear it. he just wants to pretend none of it is happening, and you're going to be okay. you are going to be okay. he'll make sure of it.

it takes a moment for you to respond until your intertwined in a feverish kiss that sends his medical supplies clanging to the floor— but megumi doesn't care about order, all he cares about now is being as close to you as possible. he's dreamt of this moment for years. what you taste like...feel like...sound like. he knows you're his soulmate. what he doesn't know is why it's taken him so long to kiss you.

but before your connection can move forward and become something more, your touch is gone.

"i'm sorry, i can't do this." there are tears creeping from the corners of your beautiful eyes. "i—"

he calls out your name as your figure dashes out the door, wishing that he was able to confess. he wants to tell you he loves you so badly; except he doesn't have the bravery he needs. with four more years left, megumi has two things on his agenda.

1.) find a way to save you.

2.) tell you he's yours forever.

iv. what is love everlasting

he's finally become a monster like the rest of them.

from the first time he saw you, he told himself he'd be your savior. he made countless promises that he'd find a way for eldians and marleyans to live in peace, that he'd find a way to save you from this shitty war; only to be the very person to lock you in chains, awaiting imminent death as the next female titan will be born.

megumi wanted to be brave. he wanted to stop being such a coward, but some people just aren't capable of changing so much— and what a disappointment that is.

"hey, fushiguro?" when did you stop calling him by his first name? "can you keep a secret?"

he's not supposed to be civil with you. his orders are to chain you up, inject the child, and watch as she devours you; but you're his weakness. he can't resist you. "of course i can."

a smile graces your lips. it's not a smile of happiness or joy...it's one of anguish and pain. "i wish i ran away with you. i should've run away with you. even though we only had four years, we could've been happy."

why are you saying all of this?

now of all times?

you should've told him years ago! you should've let him know your secrets before he let them change him! before he distanced himself from you and became distracted with his work!

"...megumi..."

"yes?" he's desperate to hear you.

"...i don't want to die."

a thought crosses his mind. it's a scene in which two main characters beat all odds and escape the chains and prisons they've faced, running off into the sunset, never to be seen again. this scene has a happy ending, one where there's a small and intimate wedding with no witnesses except the meadow's flowers. he lifts your veil away from your eyes and murmurs sweet nothings as you kiss him to start off your forever. his heart wants that to be true. he wants that to be true. it's too late, though. you have no time left. your thirteen years is up. his thirteen years of knowing you is up. it's time to say goodbye.

"i can't save you." he's struggling to get his words out while maintaining his composure; and your heart breaks as his promise does as well. "i'm sorry."

he's a monster.

you hang your head, nodding and accepting your fate as he makes his way down the stairs. seeing you like that, knowing what your fate is, almost causes megumi to pass out from lightheadedness. he knows he shouldn't be worrying about himself. after all, you're the one who's about to die. he has a whole lifetime to continue living, and your lifetime was a mere twenty-six years.

gently, he takes the newest warriors hands and tells her what he's about to do. the blonde girl nods along to his words, trying her best to ignore your radiating hopelessness as she's about to become the next you; and megumi injects his needle into her neck.

he wants to look away so badly as she grows into a pure titan with eyes locked on your frail body, but he doesn't want it to end like this. there's gotta be something that he can do to help you. anything to save you from this fate; but to no avail, he's powerless. so powerless that the only thing he manages to do is mouth three seemingly meaningless words as he locks eyes with you.

"i love you."

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

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nightfall-kachiniko · 1 year

Text

༅ ｡ₓ AOT girls (+hange) reacts to you crying during an argument…

paring: mikasa x reader, annie x reader, pieck x reader, hange x reader, sasha x reader.

˗ˏˋ꒰ ☁️ ꒱

𓏲·˚ ͙ mikasa

- you felt your heart bang with every word that came out of your wife’s mouth. her voice riddled with irritation at your lack of understanding, as you continued to go back and fourth. “I don’t like the idea of you out there for that long!” You shouted, desperately trying to explain. “You’re being dramatic,” she said, “it’s apart of my job, y/n. Theres nothing I can do about it!” It felt like you two had been saying the same thing over and over again. “6 months? Halfway across the world?! And you’re okay with that?!” You shouted angrily. “I have orders, y/n. I don’t have a choice.” She said sternly. “And there is nothing I can do or you can do to change that!” her aggressive words hit you in the heart as you felt your eyes start to water. the air was finally quiet for a few moments as you processed everything. ‘she has to. It’s her job. i need to understand that…’ you thought. But you just couldn’t. you just couldn’t stand the thought of mikasa being gone that long. the silence finally broke in the air as your voice choked up “I just don’t want you to leave me..!” your voice broke, as the tears you’d been holding in did aswell. You choked out sobs, deep, heavy, sobs, as your voice shattered sentences of incoherent. Mikasa froze for a moment, before her gaze went soft as it lied on you. her warm embrace laced hands around your figure as it held you tightly, her eyes filling with sadness. “Oh..don’t cry love..” she whispered as your cries continued, her arms wrapping lovingly around you. “I know darling, I know this is hard.” Mikasa said, as her hand raised your face from your palms to look you in the eyes. her fingers caressed tears off your face as she helped you calm down. “I promise you, I’ll never leave you.. no matter what distance lays between us.”

𓏲·˚ ͙ annie

“You never listen to me! Ever! I mean fuck y/n why do I even bother at this point?!” Annie shouted angrily, her tone filled with more rage than usual. It started off as a dumb couples fight to now a full on argument spurring out angered insults with mindless thinking. “Oh really? You’re one to talk! That’s all you ever do is blame everything on me!” You spat back. Annie’s figure swiftly turned around to face you, “you’re the one that starts shit y/n, not me.” she sternly said. “I put up with your shit every day for the past 5 years. 5 YEARS Y/N! I’ve had to mother you! I’ve had to care for you! IM BASICALLY A GODDAMN BABYSITTER!” Her screams rang in your ears as you closed your eyes, her aggressively packing her bags.“Seriously?” You mutter out, “I’ve sacrificed friendships, I’ve sacrificed LIVES for you! I’ve sacrificed everything just to be with a warrior! I’ve done so much for you!” you screamed back. Annie looked at you, her eyes as stern as ever. “ All you’ve ever done for me is cause me problems,” her voice was serious, her voice was real. i think that’s the part that hurt the most, the fact that her voice said what her mind wanted to. and she was being honest. The anger you once had in your eyes faded to a soft gaze as you felt your heart shatter. Your eyes filled with tears as you stayed silent, trying not to cry. “That’s all you ever do.” Annie sternly said, failing to realize your soft whimpers would soon break into sobs. as you felt your world crashing down on you as tears streamed down your cheeks, your palms held your face in your hands as you cried. Annie turned back around from stuffing a shirt in her suitcase, her eyes landing on you. she stayed silent as you cried, not knowing what to do. But what she did know, that she really fucked up. Annie glanced at your figure, feeling that out of regret and guilt arise in her stomach. She softly came towards you, her arms carefully wrapping around your body as you dug your head into her shoulder, sobbing. “I’m sorry..” she whispered into your hair. “I’m sorry..” she said a bit louder. But you could tell from the tone in her voice, that she was being honest.

𓏲·˚ ͙ pieck

“Please y/n, I’m not in the mood.” Your girlfriend said, tiredness on her face. “But you said you’d stay tonight..” you disappointedly breathed out. “I barley see you enough as it is. You can’t just stay a few hours?” the woman turned around swiftly to look at you, “I don’t know how many times I have to repeat myself. I said no y/n, what part of that do you not understand?!” Her aggressive response caught you off guard, your air feeling more heavy around you. “..you don’t have to yell at me pieck..” you softly muttered out before she cut you off. “Well sometimes you just don’t fucking listen!” She shouted aggressively, taking out her anger on you. “Pieck stop! I don’t want to fight with you!” You called back, trying to calm her down. “Then stop being so needy all the time and let me rest!” She replied. Her words made you feel like a burden as you felt your chest get tighter, confused and saddened as to what you did wrong. “..fine…” you sighed out, turning away to walk upstairs. You heard pieck mutter a “finally” under her breath as your vision became blurred, tears swelling up in your eyes. You turned back around in the doorway to look at pieck. “..I’m sorry If i did something wrong..” your voice wobbled out, catching her attention. Pieck starred at you, tears flowing down your face as you slightly hummed soft cries. She was token aback by your state, clearly now realizing how she acted towards you. “Oh.. dove..” pieck softly said, “no..no no sweetie” the messy haired woman came over to you, her eyes fixated on your own watery orbs. Guilt plastered on her face as she hugged you tightly, making you take in a deep breath to stop your sobs from getting worse. “Honey, I’m so sorry dear.. I don’t know what gotten into me lately.. I’ve just been so stressed.. I shouldn’t of token it out on you love… I’m so sorry sweetheart please don’t cry..” she said, drying your tears with tissues. “I..know you’ve been… stressed.. and I’m sorry I just miss you…” you managed to get out in between breaths. “Im sorry darling..”

𓏲·˚ ͙ hange

The one night that you rarely have with you and hange alone, cancelled all because of some stupid paperwork they could get to in the morning? “Seriously Han?! Do you know how long we’ve been planning this?” You hear hange sigh from their desk as they touch the bridge of their nose. “I’ve told you y/n I have too many things to do! Why do I have to keep repeating myself like a skipping record?!” Hange scolded at you. Apparently this date meant more to you then it did to her. Way more. To the point they’d rather do paperwork than go on it. “You can do that shit in the morning! This is the one night we finally can go out and you’re telling me no?!” You angrily shouted at her. “Fuck hange! I’ve barley seen you in weeks! I wake up and your not there! I go to sleep and your not there! Why is everything about your fucking work?! Why is it never about me?!” You shouted at them, their face filling with more irritation than before. “I’m not saying it again.” They said, picking back up their pen and scribbling down on their paperwork. “Really? You’re really gonna do this to me?” You said, trying to not flip out on them. Hange didn’t reply, but just ignore you. “Gonna ignore me like you always do, huh?” You scoffed. A rage burning up inside you as you ranted. “You know why the hell are you even in a relationship if you’re commander?! You leave me out in the fucking dust! You act like I’m not even there! Is all I am just a fuck to you when you’re too stressed to function?! Huh?! Is that paperwork more important than me-“ “YES! FUCK ANYTHING TO SHUT YOU UP!” they yelled, cutting you off. You felt your heart sink as they screamed, going on about how you never listen, always complain, how they’re always too busy and stressed. Too focused on their rant to notice the tears falling down your eyes and your small shaky breaths. “AND I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO DEAL WITH Y-“ they cutt themself as they saw your shattered figure, your eyes filled with tears as they kept streaming like a river down your face, dripping onto the floor. ‘At least now they were quiet, huh hange?’ they thought, realizing how badly they hurt you. You just started at the floor avoiding eye contact as they breathed out a sigh, fixing their glasses. “I..c-come here love.” They said, their hand gesturing for you to come closer as they walked towards you. Hange sighed as they felt you collapse into their arms, not knowing when the last time they held you like this was. She let you sob, rubbing circles onto your back as she occasionally pressed kisses into your hair, relaxing into you. “I know I haven’t been the best partner, y/n. I’m not a good partner at all. I’m sorry.”

𓏲·˚ ͙ sasha

“I am doneee!!! Donee!! No more arguing i cant hear you!!” Sasha plugged her ears as you continued to pour out everything that was in you. From the late nights out, to the not knowing where she was. It was too much. You’d never get a serious answer, all you’d get is your concerns blown off with a ‘ehh you’re dramatic babe’ it was like she took nothing seriously. Not your emotions. Not your concerns. Not even your relationship. “Sasha fucking stop!” You yelled. “I’m trying to talk to you about something that concerns me and all you do is plug your ears and ignore me!” You cry out. “Do you even care about us at all?!” You say, to be greeted with a nonchalant “oh wow and now you think I don’t care?” Sasha scoffed, hopping off the counter. “You’re frustrating me! Ive already told you I’m having fun I’m safe I’m fine I’m not cheating on you!” They blurted out. “Sash that is not even my concern! Maybe you’d know what it is if you’d actually listen!!” You yelled out. “Oh trust me, I listen.” She bit into her Apple. “I have to listen to your insecurities all the time. And I have to deal with ‘em. I’ve gotta put up with ‘em!” She remarked back, making you even more frustrated. “Then why don’t you do anything about it?! Why don’t you care?!” “Damn it y/n I do!” “Then shut up and listen!” She laughed at your remark, confusing you. “Gosh you really don’t quit do you?” Sasha chuckled, making your blood boil. You had enough, you were so filled with rage and hurt. You felt tears start spurring out your eyes as you yelled and cried and sobbed, catching Sasha off guard. “Y/n?” She looked around, lost. “Hey-uh..” Sasha just starred at you and your broken figure, sobbing and crying. “D-did I really make you that upset..?” She questioned, taking in the state you’re in. “Babe..” they came closer to you as you muttered a “go away..” in between sobs. “Hey no nooo babe.. ah gosh..” Sasha said, trying to comfort you. “Ah..please don’t cry pretty, I’m sorry darlin’..” she hugged you tightly, pressing your figure up agaisnt hers. “I’m gonna do better honey, I promise.”

a/n: I AM SO FUCKING TIRED

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