#aot x reader angst

[pennylanewrites]

[love in the dark] levi ackerman x f!reader

cw + what to expect: angsty levi thinking he’s not good enough for you, self deprecation, talks of a family and kids, nudity (not sexual), brief mentions of battle scars, swearing, jealousy, alcohol consumption, eventual comfort

levi hated everything he loved about you. you were so loud and talkative and bubbly. always smiling, despite the chaos around you. always caring and laughing and mumbling made-up melodies.

he hated that other people loved those parts of you too. he hated the way erwin would light up when you entered the room, that he somehow found ways to spend more time than needed with you, that hange would tease him playfully about his crush on you, a simple cadet.

but what he hated the most was that he couldn’t speak. he couldn’t kick the living shit out of erwin and punch hange’s stupid face, scream how much he loves you.

because you were a cadet. levi was a captain. it was so inappropriate, him breaking every possible rule and code of honour to be with you.

today was a very bad day. many scouts had lost their lives in an expedition to capture two titans for research. the remaining ones needed an uplift, erwin thought. and now squad leaders, captains, scouts and the fucking commander were sitting in a circle drinking wine.

you couldn’t handle your alcohol. levi was the first person to introduce you to wine, and then whiskey. that was also the first time levi felt old. how young were you that you had never tasted alcohol before?

he smiled to himself at the memory, but the smile faltered when he looked up to see erwin helping you to a couch. you gracefully thanked your commander, slightly embarrassed at how dizzy you were. petra, your friend, looked between you and the commander, giving you a suggestive wiggle of the brows. that didn’t go unnoticed by your captain, whose hand slipped as he poured wine in petra’s glass, turning her white pants a pale hue of red.

something snapped inside of levi as he drank glass after glass of sweet red wine. erwin had so much to offer to you. money, a home, a family. you were listening intently as erwin explained the rules of a card game to you, peering over his shoulder as you sat on the couch and he on the floor.

don’t let your head fall on his shoulder. don’t let your-

a gasp came from levi’s left. of course it was fucking hange.

“i must be boring you.” erwin chuckled when he realised you were falling asleep. “i’ll take you to your dorm.” levi reached the couch with two big steps, protectively standing between you and erwin as you got up.

“i’ll take her.” he was throwing daggers at erwin with his gray eyes, and erwin was surprisingly returning the gaze.

“you don’t have to, captain. take your rest today.” erwin was not giving it up. he gave levi a pleading look, as if saying let me have this, friend.

you’re not my fucking friend, replied levi.

“she’s my soldier, erwin.” you pulled on levi’s jacket, after making sure no one saw. a silent please stop. “lead the way, cadet. you can walk, i assume.” he was cold. more than usual, barely letting you say your good nights to the room.

was he mad at you? you weren’t the one making advances, it was erwin. you didn’t know how to politely turn your commander down, nor did the alcohol running through your veins allow you to.

“your room is that way, is it not?” levi stopped sharply, making you hit his back.

“levi,” when had you ever slept in your room the last two years? “are you mad at me?”

he sighed and turned around, still alert for any guards, or even worse, erwin and hange showing up.

“you’re drunk.” was all he said before walking again, signaling for you to follow. he was silent the rest of the way, silent as he stepped out of his clothes, silent as he grabbed a towel.

“can we take a bath together?” you asked hopefully. deep down you had a feeling he would turn you down. levi was always sour after failed expeditions.

“i want to go to sleep tonight, you take too damn long in the bath.” he was right, but the way he said it made it sound like he was accusing you of being a serial killer.

“okay. you go then, i showered before.” you smiled softly and started taking your clothes off to lay on the clean linen sheets.

levi thought about tonight over and over as he sat in the hot water. he didn’t mean to snap at you, or be so mean. he was pushing you away and into erwin’s arms.

erwin could give you the world. levi could not.

and you deserved the damn world.

he couldn’t help but smile when he saw you taking up the entirety of the bed, stark naked, like you always did.

he loved everything about your body. every curve, every dip, every beauty mark. he loved the healed pink scars on your legs and back, he loved kissing them and caressing them every time you cried that they were ghastly.

he hated what he was about to do.

“don’t you dare.” your voice was quavering. you didn’t dare look away from the ceiling.

“dare what?” levi put his boxers on and tried pushing you to the wall so he could lie down. why are you crying?

“do what you’re about to do, levi.” you moved so he could sit next to you and you both rested your backs on the cold wall.

“if you know what i’m about to do, you also know why.”

“oh, eyebrows is flirting with my girlfriend. time to ruin a perfectly fine two-year relationship.” you were mocking him. he was almost mad at you, but you were trying so hard not to cry.

“that’s not it.” he muttered. god, he hated talking about these things. “i can’t…”

i can’t give you enough.

“can’t what, levi? can’t love me anymore?”

“i can’t be what you need.” he sighed and turned away. why the fuck were his eyes burning and watering now?

“what are you talking about?”

“do you want kids, y/n?”

you let out a surprised laugh.

“levi-”

“do you?”

“well, yeah. not for like, ten years, but sure.”

“there you have it.”

“what, are you impotent or something?” you tried making light of the situation, because truly, you had no idea how to approach this. so you resorted to humour, hoping levi would snap out of it too.

“no, i’m just not cut out for that family crap.” he was standing up and walking around the room now, and he was making you dizzy. “erwin is, though. erwin wants a family and three children, did you know?”

you did know. you still shook your head no.

“and he has money to raise them. hell, he has a house in the countryside, and servants.”

“well, good for him. i hope he finds a wife soon.”

“are you fucking stupid, y/n?” you hated when he talked like that. “you’re 22 years old, god damn it!”

“so?”

“other women your age are already married and have a second kid on the way. not wasting their days away fighting titans, risking their lives!”

“i didn’t join the scouts to find a husband, levi!” you were crying. god, he hated it so much. what was he even doing. levi regretted ever opening his mouth.

“don’t you understand, erwin is your way out! you’re wasting your time with me. your life.”

“levi…” now you finally understood. it wasn’t that he was jealous of erwin flirting with you. well, that too, but he was jealous of the life erwin was living. “levi, i love you.”

“y/n, i really don’t know what you’re doing with me.” he was sitting down on the edge of the bed, his back to you. you shifted on the bed, until your legs were around his and your cheek resting on his back.

“i know you don’t get it, but you’re giving me exactly what i need.”

“and what is that?”

your hand fell on top of his, and you intertwined your fingers before he could take it away.

“you give me life, levi. and that’s more than i could ask for. i know you’re scared that you’ll die, or i will, but that’s our purpose. i joined the scouts knowing the risks.”

“i just want you to live properly. peacefully.”

“so be my peace.” you whispered in his ear and got up, sitting down again on his lap. “and don’t ever think you’re not good enough for me.”

“i know i’m not, y/n.”

“i don’t care, then. i love you, i don’t want to lose this, ever. i don’t care that i’m too young, or at child-bearing age or whatever other stupid crap you’ll come up with.” he smiled softly at you, letting his forehead fall against yours.

“promise you won’t die, then?” you giggled and kissed the tip of his nose before replying.

“i promise.”

“i love you.”

“good. don’t ever do that shit again, levi.”

“don’t swear.” he muttered and guided you to lie down, still on top of him. you could feel your heartbeats turn to one as you lay in silence. “i’m sorry, y/n.”

“that’s okay. just know i wouldn’t trade you for anything. for anyone.”

“really?” his arms tightened around you. a form of saying, me neither. you’re my everything.

“yeah, i like my men to have thin eyebrows.”

[saintkiri]

summary: you felt numb after eren walked through your apartment door. you thought you would never find love again..well..eren wasn’t love. it was everything BUT love. he used you and ended up cheating. you have so many questions that you know you’ll never get the answer to. after a night out drinking with friends..you ended up finding love just outside the door where you watched eren leave.

content warnings: cheating, smut (begging, multiple orgasms, spanking, unprotective sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare) toxic!eren, mentions of therapy, praying to God, anxiety, throw up (?). if i miss anything, lmk :)

wc: 5.6k

author note: …so it’s been 2 years since I’ve actually written and posted something. I meant to post this almost 2 years ago & I promised you guys I would post it & I never did. but, life was crazy and I am still adjusting. Anywhos, don’t expect much from me writing. I am glad to be back even tho I’m not 😭

part one (pls read so this can make sense)

taglist | aot masterlist

When Eren walked past that door, you felt like you lost a piece of you. The last thing he told you made you feel even more stupider than you have ever felt. 

‘The moment I laid my eyes on her, I stopped loving you.’

That sentence kept repeating over and over again. 

You closed the door, and fell. Your back sliding against the door until you were sitting on the ground waiting for the tears to come. But, they never did. You were so numb and shocked, that you couldn’t shed a single tear. 

Your life and emotions relied on him. He made you feel everything you craved. 

It didn’t make sense. He stopped loving you the moment he laid his eyes on someone else. 

What made her so perfect? 

Eren would always made comments saying that you were the girl of his dreams. How could he say all the right things just to cheat? 

You lost track of time, you sat against the door in silence, watching the apartment go from dark to light. You were so numb, you couldn’t sleep. It felt like he drained every emotion out of you with a sentence. All it took was one sentence to change you. 

The memories of you and him kept running pass your thoughts. As you watched time go by, it was as if the ghost of you and him were running through the apartment. It hurt. You remembered all the laughs, all the times where he made your heart feel so warm and full. 

But now, how can your heart go from that feeling over never ending lust to feeling cold and empty?

~~

It’s been about six months since Eren. It’s been hard to say the least. For the first month, you couldn’t even recognize yourself. You couldn’t stop thinking about him all day. It was always either you replaying his last words to you, replaying the argument, or all the times you should have realized he was cheating on you. 

Slowly, you grew. It took you a while to get back up on your feet. It took you a while to get used to a life without him. You never really realized how much you relied on him. Your friends helped you move on and get back to your life. 

You would gradually throw away Eren’s stuff during the first three months. First, it was the pictures and little momentums. You burned and threw out all the polaroids, all the gum wrapper hearts he would make, all the receipts, and every physical memory. It was weird because when you and Eren broke up, you would randomly find those hearts wherever around the apartment. You would keep them in a jar on your dresser, and slowly throughout the relationship, the jar kept getting filled to the point where you needed a new one. After the breakup, when you would find one, you would throw it out. 

Every time you threw one out, a little piece of your heart went with it and you couldn’t explain why. 

The day you finally decided to move on hurt you just as bad as the day Eren and you broke up. You were burning away not only the bad memories but the core memories. The polaroid picture from your first kiss, the rose he got you for your first date, the first movie ticket. Every single physical memory was being turned to ash. Jean and Mikasa helped you light the match and watched everything burn with you. You didn’t cry at first, and you didn’t start crying until they both left. 

You closed the door, thanking them for being there for you..and for pushing you to move on. Although your heart was breaking, you still managed to smile. As soon as the door closed, you were back at the same position you were six months ago. Your back against the door, still somehow wishing that this was just some sick joke. 

Tears were running down your face. You would wipe them just for there to be more. You sobbed in the same position. At this point, it felt like a routine. You would try your hardest to get over Eren, no matter what you would do to get over him, the memories haunt you. 

Slowly, you stopped crying. You don’t know how long you sat there, it could have been minutes or hours. You eventually stood up, then you walked to your kitchen as if nothing happened. The first thing you grabbed was to go to your cabinet to get a glass when suddenly you heard someone talking on the phone outside of your apartment. The voice sounded familiar, it was deep yet somehow smooth. 

You put down the glass and walked back to the door. You then looked out of the peephole to see Jean sitting on the ground across from your apartment. Your eyes widened slightly, wondering why he was there. You opened the door, seeing Jean’s facial expressions. He looked tired, concerned, mad, everything you were feeling right now. 

“Jean?” You say softly, while you were watching Jean slowly get up. He walked towards your door not saying much. But yet, the silence says it all. “H-How long were you sitting there for?” You opened the door some more to let him in. “Just long enough so I know you stopped crying because of him.” Your heart dropped. 

How long has he been doing this? That was the first question that came to mind. You were having mixed emotions right now. How were you supposed to feel? Although your heart felt somewhat warm, you were also feeling untrustworthy. 

Jean walked to your dining table and leaned against it. He then crossed his arms. You walked to your kitchen, "Do you want something to drink?" It was the least you offer, especially since he was sitting outside for who knows how long. "Do you have any alcohol?" He joked, and a small chuckle left your mouth. You grabbed another glass, then walked over to your counter to grab some alcohol.

You opened the bottle, then poured some for you and Jean. You handed Jean his glass, "Why do you wait?" You asked while taking a small sip. Jean stayed quiet, most likely trying to think of an answer. There was this moment of awkward silence. 

Before you and Eren started dating, you and Jean were best friends. You and him have been friends for years, but when Eren came along, your friendship changed. Eren became possessive and toxic. He didn't like how close you were with Jean. So eventually, you stopped talking to Jean. 

But, when you and Eren broke up, Jean came running to be right by your side. Although you and Jean stopped talking, Jean never stopped wanting to protect you, he never stopped watching over you, and never stopped loving you even after seeing you with another man. 

Jean has had feelings for you since he met you. There's always been this little spark between the both of you. Eventually, that spark grew to be something more. He always tried to protect you. He would try to tell you what Eren was doing behind your back but you wouldn't listen to him in fear of Eren seeing you two together. 

"I wait because I'm worried, y/n." 

"Why are you worried, Jean?"

Jean took another sip of his liquid courage and walked towards you. You walked backward until you reached the counter. "Because you were crying over a man who didn't deserve you." Jean softly confessed. Your heart skipped a beat. Slowly, your eyes locked with Jean's hazel eyes. His expression was gentle with a mix of protectiveness..and a mix of love. "Then who deserves me?" You responded, feeling a rush of emotions come over you. 

Your heart started racing as Jean leaned in closer to you. Was it the alcohol? Was it the fact that Jean is right about you getting over Eren? 

Jean's hands were placed on top of the counter, cornering you. His right hand found its way to your hip. His lips inched towards yours, “You deserve someone who takes your breath away every time you look at him. Someone who makes you laugh, smile, feel every emotion that Eren didn’t.” Your eyes lock with his, feeling his breath against your lips. “I-I’t’s you..” You whisperingly confessed. Suddenly, he kissed you with passion, feeling sparks fly. Your noses bumped into each other as little giggles left your mouths. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. His lips tasting like the alcohol you were just drinking a moment ago. Your lips move with his, for the first time in what felt like months, this was the kiss you've been dreaming of. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent. 

You felt Jean's hands pick you up and place you on the counter, "Are you drunk?" You asked as his lips found their way to your neck, gently kissing and leaving hickeys. Jean stopped his movement, as a small smile spread on his face. The smile you missed, the smile you practically dreamt of, the smile that never failed to make you smile. "No." He answered, as he slowly dragged his thumb across your bottom lip, "Are you?" He asked in return, you nodded, not knowing how to respond. 

Jean's free hand moved towards your buttoned pants, "No answer?" He asked with a sly smirk on his face. Your mind went blank. His fingers played with the button as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, "I'm going to ask one last time, y/n. Are you drunk?" You coughed out a response, "N-No. No, I'm not, Jean." A laugh left his mouth. 

"Good, because I don’t want our first time to be while you're drunk." He whispered again. Just like that, his lips were on yours. This time, that once soft kiss was now a kiss full of meaning. You don't know what came over yourself...and right now you weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about how soft his lips were, how his lips were on yours, and how you felt at that moment. 

Jean picked you off the counter, and for a moment, all emotions that you had left for Eren had left your mind and all you can think about was Jean. 

That kiss made you realize one thing. 

It's always been...him. 

It's always been Jean since the first day you laid your eyes on him. You were blinded by Eren. You were blinded by the fact that a very popular guy finally chose you. You were wrong..and now you want to spend the rest of your life making it up to Jean. 

As he walked into your bedroom, your legs were wrapped around Jean's waist. He gently placed you on the bed, his lips finally leaving yours for a split second, "Finally, you're mine." You could cry with pure happiness. It was the happiness you never felt with Eren..but only with him. 

You gave him a small and gentle peck, whispering softly, "Finally." You both smiled as you went back to kissing. His lips never left yours. If they did leave yours, they would end up moving and peppering kisses on your neck, as he slowly ripped away each item of clothing off of your body. 

The tip of his index finger teased the top of your panties. You roll your hips, "J-Jean.." You moaned out softly, hoping he would get the hint. A sly smile grew on his face, chuckling slightly at how much you were begging for him. "God, y/n." He whispers in your ear as his lips move at a slow rate.

His fingers inch more and more towards where you wanted him to touch you most. You were getting impatient, all you wanted was to feel him. You moved your hands when suddenly Jean pinned them above your head. 

The sexual tension was so thick. As much as he wants to fuck you, he wants to take his time. 

Your eyes meet, "Please touch me, Jean." You begged. His eyes read yours, and that's when he lost all control. Fuck taking his time, he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He moved his hand from pinning yours to taking off your panties. 

It all happened so fast. One moment Jean was taking his time, devouring you inch by inch, finally getting what he's been dreaming of since he realized he had a crush on you. 

Jean moved to the edge of the bed, and in one sudden motion, your thighs were wrapped around his neck. His lips peppered kisses on your inner thighs, moving closer to your aching clit. 

He flatted his tongue and in one lick, he had you melting and moaning his name. That one moan sent him over, he wanted to hear you say it over and over again. This moment will be embedded in his brain for who knows how long. 

Your fingers brush through his brunette locks, highly tugging at the roots, "Fuck, Jean." You moaned out as Jean's tongue circled your clit, making your mind and body melt. You felt his fingers add into the mix, moving slowly, pressing against the spot that makes you lose control. 

He was in between your legs, lewd noises were the sound that was echoing in the room, pleads, begs, screams and moans.

His long, slim fingers thrust into you, making you moan louder and louder. Jean was loving the way your moans sounded. It was like music to his ears. 

Over and over again, you were chanting Jean's name. It was every time he hit that spot, you would scream his name in pleasure. 

Jean replaced his tongue with thumb and admired the view ahead of him, "God, you're so fucking hot, y/n." He said as your eyes met with his. A sly smile spread on his face while watching your reaction to his compliment. Your lip slid between your teeth, trying your hardest to hold back your moans.

He replaced his thumb back with tongue, and your head fell back onto the bed, feeling his tongue explore your cunt again.  Your hands then roamed your body, finding their place over your mouth. You then began to slightly ride his mouth.

A familiar feeling began to stir in your stomach. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your toes curled, feeling his finger movements begin to speed up. 

You were speechless, you couldn't spit out a word, it felt that good. Finally, you spit out the words, "W-Wanna cum, so-so bad." Jean sped up his movements, moving his mouth off of your core, then crawling in between your legs, moving up until you were face to face. 

His fingers didn't stop moving as he kissed you. Your moans were muffled by the kiss. "Cum on my fingers, y/n." He didn’t have to tell you twice. You came on his fingers, and instantly, your legs started shaking. 

Jean got off the bed, and you held yourself up with your elbows, watching him pull down his boxers, and your jaw instantly dropped. His dick was big, probably the biggest one you've seen. He was mesmerized by your reaction to his size. 

Your eyes locked with his as you sat up. You grabbed his arm and immediately pulled him into a kiss, your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling Jean slowly spreading your legs. 

His lips left yours for a split second, "Are you on the pill?" You nodded, "Are you clean?" You asked as his hand inching towards your aching cunt. He nodded, kissing you back in response. 

"Good, now I want you to beg for it, y/n." You smiled slightly because thought he was joking. You wanted him obviously, your body was practically begging for him. The tip of his dick teased your sensitive clit, and a quiet moan left your lips.

You lifted your hips, trying to get more out of him. Your smile disappeared when you realized he wasn't kidding, he was dead serious. You looked into his eyes, and his sparkle was gone. 

"P-Please." you said desperately. Jean raised his eyebrow, "That's all you got? C'mon, y/n. Your body is practically begging for me..." His lips inched towards yours, "But, I want to hear you beg for my cock." His words hit straight to your core. "Please, Jean. Please fuck me. I-I want you so-so much." 

Jean chuckled as he moved the tip of his dick in between your folds, “Where do you want it, princess?” He said as he kept teasing your aching cunt. You buck your hips against the tip of his cock, begging for some sort of friction. You look up and all you see is his desperate eyes on yours. “I want you to fuck me with your cock.” He chuckles, “Good girl.” he praised, and in one swift motion, he finally slid into your cunt. You both moaned. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and the bottom of your lip slid in between your teeth. 

He bottomed out, hitting the spot that made you scream his name. With each thrust, came a moan. "F-Fuck, Jean!" You said as he pounded his cock into you. 

You dug your fingers into his back, slowly moving them up, making sure to leave a mark. Jean inhaled sharply, "So fucking t-tight, y/n." Jean said as he kept bottoming out into you, hitting your g-spot over and over again. 

Jean's lips found their way to yours, the kiss was deep. It was almost like he was trying to devour you as if you were his last meal. Although the kiss was deep, it had a meaning. You were his, you belonged to him. And, you were okay with that. Jean moved his lips from your throat and then moved to his next position. He grabbed your ankles and placed them on his shoulder, hitting your g-spot at a different angle. 

He kissed your ankle as he kept pounding into you. The view in front of you looked so hot. He was hitting all the places that made your mind go blank. “Fuck.” Jean moaned. His moans made you want to exploded right then and there. He moved your legs and by habit you wrap them around this waist. 

“This pussy was made for me, y/n.” Jean expressed in the nook of your neck, peppering kisses, sucking softly. Your fingers raked through his locks, lightly tugging. “J-Jean..harder.” You begged. You wanted him to fuck you like no other could. You wanted him to make you forget about Eren. 

His thrusts slow down making you whimper. Jean flips you on your stomach, “Grab onto the headboard.” He demanded. You wrap your fingers around the cold metal bars, “Please.” You begged. Jean chuckled as you felt his dick slam into you again. You practically scream, feeling the bed shift slightly. Jean’s hands find their place in your hair. His finger wraps around your hair, making a make-shift ponytail, tugging at your roots. You moan feeling his dick hit a new spot from the new position he has you in. 

You suddenly felt a harsh slap on your ass, you wince from he pain..but, you wanted more of it. Sounds of slapping skin fill the room, “Keep milking my cock, y/n.” You clench around his cock with every thrust. 

You could feel your orgasm building up, feeling Jean’s hand leave your hair, then snaking to your clit. “You gonna’ cum, princess?” You nod, not being able to find the words. You felt another harsh slap on your ass, “Words.” He warned. Jean’s movements on your clit made your toes curl, making you moan loudly. 

“Yes, I-I need to cum..so so bad.” You felt his thrust fasten, knowing he was close too. He instantly flips you over again, feeling his lips on yours. You wrap yours around his neck, “Cum for me, princess.” That’s all it took. Your legs started trembling as your orgasm unraveled. Jean emptied his load into you, letting you ride out your orgasm. 

His lips found yours again as he pulled out. This kiss was different. This kiss felt like you were home..with him. 

Jean’s lips left yours as he got up and walked to your bathroom, leaving you absolutely speechless. You couldn’t believe that just happened..but yet, you were so glad it did. You turn your head to see Jean in the bathroom, running a washcloth under some water. 

Eren never did aftercare. He would just fuck you, and leave you hanging. Most of the time, you didn’t even finish..it was always about him finishing, his pleasure before yours, and that’s when your handy vibrator came into your life. Looks like you wouldn’t be needing that anymore with the way Jean just fucked you. 

You thought sex like this belonged in porn.

Jean walked out of the bathroom smiling, “What are you smiling about?” You questioned him as he bends your still trembling legs. He kisses the top of your knees as he cleans your most sensitive area, you wince feeling the washcloth on your clit. 

“You.” It was a simple one word..but, it made your heart melt leaving your very dirty thoughts behind. His fingers find your clit again, as that smile turned into a sly smirk. You moan, “Jean.” You warned softly, as he rubs it slowly.  His fingers slip into your hole, “Just cleaning you out.” He says, as his fingers hit your g-spot. Your hand wraps around his wrist, “Do you want me to stop?” You shaking your head, never wanting him to stop. 

He continues his movements, your legs squeezing together as his long, slim fingers continue to pump into you. You could feel your orgasm bubbling up. “Let go for me, princess.” And that’s all it took for your third orgasm to unravel, leaving you in a moaning mess. 

His fingers left your cunt as his eyes locks with yours. He licks his fingers cleaning, “Now, I’m actually going to clean you up.” A giggle leaves your mouth as you feel the washcloth sliding over your skin again. You could get used to this. 

You started thinking about life with Jean. “So, now what happens?” You ask out of curiosity. You were absolutely terrified of losing him. You didn’t know what was going to happen. Were you guys going to pretend this didn’t happen? Were you guys going to start a life together? Were you guys going to stay as friends? You had so many questions that were fueling your anxiety. 

He stops his movements, looking at you, “I said that I was never going to let you go, y/n. You’re mine.” Tears start to form in your eyes, “Losing you to Eren was my biggest mistake, I should have never let you go..I felt like I hurt you. If I would have kept pushing you, and telling you everything he was doing behind your back, I thought I would have lost you permanently.” He stands up and walks across the room, throwing the used washcloth into the hamper. Then walking towards the bed, laying next to you. He places his hand on your cheek, “I will never ever let you go..And I mean it. I will spend all this lifetime and the next proving it to you.”

As a tear escapes your eye, Jean’s thumb catches it, “Why are you crying?” And suddenly, there were more tears..too many tears for his thumb to catch. You roll over, placing your head on his chest. “I’m sorry.” You say in the midst of a broken sob, Jean doesn’t say anything, he just caresses your head and lets you cry. 

You wrap your arm around his chest, hugging him so tight, as if he was going to leave went you woke up. All this time, Jean waited for you. For all the years that you were with Eren, Jean was there waiting to help you when he left. 

The day that Eren left the apartment, you called Jean, and he ran to your apartment. You didn’t know who else to call, you wanted the one person who knew how to comfort you, your best friend. Jean helped you through all the stages of your break up. He was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there when you couldn’t find yourself. And now, here he was yet again, being the shoulder you cried on. 

“It should have been you, Jean.” You said through the soft sobs, “It shouldn’t have been Eren, I should have never been with him..it was supposed to be you.” Jean kissed the top of your head, comforting you. 

Jean kisses the top of your head, as you looked up at him, “Now we can make up for lost time.” His lips inched towards yours, “Starting now.” His lips connected with yours. 

This is what loves feels like..and it’s how it should have been from he start. 

Jean is your forever.

Jean is the missing piece to your broken puzzle.

Jean is the person you prayed to God for everyday instead of Eren. 

Jean is your other half. 

____

2 YEARS LATER:

“Here’s to your last day being engaged!!” Mikasa exclaimed as she jumps into your arms. You were out for brunch with all your girlfriends, celebrating your last day being an engaged woman. You never thought this day would come. 

Jean ended up proposing a year ago..and it was so romantic. You both knew you wanted to get married. Jean wanted it to be a surprise though. He had taken you to a romantic restaurant..which would have been very cliche of him. You and him would always joke about the cliches. He knew you wanted everything but the cliches. 

He ended up getting on one knee when you least expected it. He wanted to catch you off guard. You and him were going house hunting when he proposed. You guys were looking at a house and the moment you step foot into it, you saw your life with Jean flash before your eyes. Every corner you turned, you could imagine kids running around. When you went into the kitchen, you saw family dinners..just the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. 

It was when you guys walked into the backyard when you looked Jean in the eyes and told him exactly how you felt. That was your forever home, the place where you wanted to grow old and gray with Jean, the place where you wanted to start a family..that was where your future was. You turned around for a split second and when you turn back to face Jean, he proposed. 

You didn’t even let him finish talking. You knew you wanted to marry Jean for years. Even before Eren. 

Even after a year of him proposing to you, you still think about every single word Jean said. He said the same exact thing you were thinking while walking through the house. His dream was your dream. 

The wedding was around the corner and you couldn’t wait. It was going to be a small wedding. You and Jean just wanted something simple. You both agreed that the memories were more important than the big wedding. 

As you, Mikasa, and the rest of your friends leave after drinking one too many mimosas, you accidentally bump into someone. You instantly apologize, looking up to see the man who broke you in ways you thought couldn’t be fixed. This was the actual time you bumped into him. “Y/N?” Hearing your name leave his lips sounded like poison. It’s the one voice that still haunts you. 

You started to feel sick, feeling bile rising up your throat. His eyes inched towards your taken hand. You couldn’t find words. There were so many things you wanted to say..but, it wasn’t worth your time. Jean helped you move on, he put you back together when you couldn’t find the pieces. Eren took a piece of you that you were still trying to find..even after all these years. You slowly back away, calling out his name once. 

You walk past him linking your arm with Mikasa’s, “I’m sorry.” The two words stop your movement, you turn around for a split second, feeling Mikasa giving you and encouraging squeeze. “You’re not sorry, Eren. You never were..you ruined me. Y-You used me, cheated on me, fucking tore my heart into pieces.” You walked closer to him, “You don’t get to apologize, you piece of lowlife scum, I hope you rot.” 

Before he could say another word, you turned away linking your arm with Mikasa’s. You feel good. A smile spread on your face, “You feel good, y/n?” You nod, feeling a sense of relief fuel your veins. 

You never really got closure and that was something you struggled with for the longest. You still don’t understand why he cheated on you. The countless therapy sessions helped for a short period of time. But, this is your closure. You said what you said, and you feel good. This is what you needed to open the next chapter of your life. 

As you walk into your stunning house, you were immediately greet by the newest addition to your family, Remi. She’s a french bulldog you and Jean adopted when you moved into the house. She lights up your world. You and Jean are so grateful for her. After greeting your pup, you were greeted by your fiancee. 

You give him a soft kiss, feeling his hands on your waist, instantly feeling like you’re home. “How was brunch?” A smile spread on your face as you take off your coat, “It was a lot of fun! I wish you were there though.” You said as you were taking off your heels. 

“Yeah, I wish I went too. Connie is having a late dinner later to have a pre-celebration for tomorrow.” You roll your eyes with a smile, “Make sure you don’t drink too much, Jean.” A chuckle leaves his throat, giving you another kiss on the cheek. 

As you both walk towards the kitchen, you were thinking about how to tell Jean about your interaction with Eren. 

He opens the cabinet when you broke silence, “I bumped into Eren.” 

Jean turns around, placing both of his hands on the counter, “What happened? Did he do anything?” You shake your head, as a small smile spread on your face, “I got closure, Jean. I feel good.” You went onto telling him what you said and you both ended up laughing. You don’t have a mean bone in your body. So, telling him what you said made the both of you laugh. 

“I’m proud of you, y/n.” The four words made tears run down your cheek. Yet again, even after all these years, Jean is there to catch every single tear. “I’m glad you finally got the closure you’ve been searching for.” You wrap your arms around his waist, “Me too. I feel like I can let go of that chapter of my life.” 

Tomorrow was the start of a new chapter. 

Although you know your next chapter won’t be picture perfect, you were okay with that. As long as you had Jean on your side, you knew that it would be your version of picture perfect. And, that’s all you needed. 

__

As you’re walking down the isle, you think about everything you (and Jean) have been through to get to this moment. 

In a sense, you were grateful that everything happened, because it led you here, marrying your best friend, and you couldn’t imagine life go any other way. Jean has taught you that love is real, you just have to find the right person. Life has a funny way of showing love, it’s like a road to describe it the least. 

Life and love are both bumpy roads, there’s all these bumps, cracks, unexpected turns, things that get in your way. But, once you get past that, the road is smooth and clear. 

Today, you’re marrying your soulmate, your other half, your best friend, & you couldn’t wait to finally be Mrs. Kirstein. 

Jean didn’t lie when he said you were his. Since that day, he never left your side. He was there for everything. Every doubt, every cry, everywhere you least expected him to be. 

The six words you’ve been waiting for years for finally approached, “You may now kiss the bride.” Jean kissed you like your life depended on it..just like the first time he kissed you. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent. 

“I told you, you were always mine, y/n.” He whispered against your lips. A bright smile spread on your face. It was just you and him. You zoned out the crowd, as if time was going in slow motion. You stare into his eyes and see your future. You place your thumb under his eyes, collecting the tears that he’s always done for you. 

Inching your lips towards his, feeling the same emotions as his. You whisper, “Forever and always yours.”

The end. 

🏷️: @betterwinter @moonlight445sblog @linglingisyutabiased @takspv @imaninfjbiherself @levisstainedunderwear @cafesho @Unicornlover25 @mocha-focha @Mochaxfocha @szna @yeagerfushiguro @twiixiies @haitanihime @Crazytyphoon @the-sun-baby

Finishing note: thank you so much for all the love in broken promises! It’s been two years since I posted it and it’s still one of my favorites. I am very happy with how it ended. There were some bits and pieces in here that I took from my actual life. Remi is true!! She’s my baby🫶🏻..plus some breakup scenes were from my breakup😭. Anywhos, I hope to be able to get back into writing soon :)

[hornyanimegirl]

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Series Masterlist

Warning: pregnancy, mentions of abortion

“I’ll be okay.”

It was suffocating. You were suffocating. The child in your stomach filled you with so much overwhelming joy. With so much anxiousness. You felt like you would throw up any second and it wasn’t because of morning sickness. The thought of taking care of a baby with the love of your life was exhilarating. Enough to bring a smile on your face.

But you were scared. Terrified that this baby would not bring happiness. Terrified that it would tear you away from Levi.

“Looks like you’re six weeks in ma’am. We can set up an appointment for next week to do your first ultrasound.”

You were sat up on the hospital bed. You hadn’t looked up at the doctor since your change in position. Your eyes were dull, and dark eye bags highlighted your lack of sleep.

This was supposed to be a joyous moment in your life. You were about to be a mom, well if you kept the baby that is. But all this brought was an excessive amount of emotions that gave you a headache. You loved Levi so much and you know he loved you just as much, you didn’t doubt it for a second. But there was one annoying part of you that thought that Levi would leave. That he wouldn’t want to be a father.

Of course that was entirely his choice. The question was would you keep the baby even without him there. Raise them as a single mother. You might, you’ve always wanted to be a mother. The love your parents showed you when you were young, how happy you all were as a family was an indicator enough that you wanted one for yourself, a family. This realization was like a slap in the face, a punch in the gut, but also a relief in itself.

You would do this, you would keep the baby whether Levi was there or not. No matter how much the thought of him not raising your baby together hurt you.

Imagining it now caused a hole to form in your stomach, no Levi. No father for your child. No family Halloween costumes, no family Christmas pajamas. You wouldn’t watch your child’s dance recitals or basketball games together. You wouldn’t talk to Levi about how fast time flies and how you can’t believe how much they’ve grown.

You needed to stop thinking like this, you haven’t told Levi you were pregnant. The future isn’t set and stone. But you knew whatever happened, you were going to be a mother to this baby.

Next

Taglist: open

@daoreogirl  @galactict3a   @thel0v3hashira143​  @angelsceeee   @donaldthrts @  may-machin @donaldthrts  @dunnowhy-m @thisslowcracker @cheoriemoawa 

[tooruslove]

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑

you always believed that the worst feeling someone could experience, was betrayal.

so when you entered the party just to see your boyfriends hands wrapped around another girls waist and both their lips interlocked with each other, sloppily kissing, time stopped for you.

you felt dizzy. a familiar yet sickening feeling began to make itself at home in your stomach and your breathing became more erratic. the feeling of dread and nausea overtook you.

and the moment his eyes inevitably met your teary ones, time stopped for him too.

you couldn't help but wonder how long it would take for you to forgive him; how long you would be able to resist running back to him. just like last time you caught him.

— OIKAWA. kaminari. kuroo. TERUSHIMA. eren.

[summerlovingbaby]

Two Lonely People

a you shouldn’t be lifting things.” Eren scolded her, snatching the piles of wood from her hands, and shoving them haphazardly at Y/N, who happened to be standing behind him at the time.  “ You’re still recovering.”

He was right, she was still recovering. But so was Y/N, who almost got bitten in half by a Titan, sacrificing herself  to save Eren’s ass. She always sacrificed hersef for him, and it was a habit that none of the other cadets could quite understand, even after they found he could shift into a titan.She had been thrown from a horse and hit her head, been nearly squeezed to death and almost got stepped on. All to save Eren, who still either hadn’t acknowledged it or even noticed.

She was managing just fine, until Eren haphazardly bumped her, and rammed her elbows into her sided. Y/N, grunted and fell backwards landed on her but with a thud. She bit her lip, trying not to let out a pained squeal. The wood clattered to the floor, followed by Armin who dropped to his knees to help pick up the wood logs that Y/N managed to drop.

“ Careful Y/N, we’re running low on resources!” Armin chided her like a mother.

“ Right sorry.”

But a mother would notice that she was hurt, and noticed just how much pain she was in. Armin quickly stood up and placed the wood on the counter before chiding Mikasa, who seemed completely fine, for overworking herself.

It was nearing noon, in the little cabin that the brand new Levi Squad had found and made themselves a home. Eren spent most mornings training his titan form and caring for Mikasa, who was too busy caring for Eren to be cared for. There was a nearby stream and wood, that was so loud it made the world seem quiet. Hange and her squad were doing secret scouting missions, and Levi spent the better parts of his day in solitude, Y/N could only imagine brooding and thinking of profound things to get mad at.

It was nearing Lunch, which meant Levi would be coming back for his daily inspection, and the house was anything but clean. Even by Erens standards, and Eren was hounding people to keep cleaning.

Eren started to drag Mikasa back to her room so she could rest, and nearly tripped over Y/N, who couldn’t find it in her to stand up yet. There was a dull ache in her chest and a burning sensation in her stomach. His eyes fell down at her, he looked disgusted with the sight of her.

“ What are you doing?” he asked. His mouth formed into a thin line like he ran out of patience. “ Why are you on the floor?”

“ I-”

“ Mikasa has been pulling her weight and she probably broke her ribs. All you’ve been doing is sitting on your ass doing absolutely nothing with that pathetic look on your face, and I’m getting tired of looking at it.”

The door creaked open, and in came Sasha, Jean and Connie who were carrying food rations. Sasha more than her fair share, and her and Connie were arguing about it. Jean had  been ignoring them for the last  3 minutes and didn’t plan on listening in now,

“Eren I-” she started to say. She would normally slap that smug look off his face, but she couldn’t find the energy to fight anymore.

“ Don’t “Eren” me. How about you get off your lazy ass, and clean like your actually worth something.”

The room was silent, even Connie and Sasha managed to stop arguing. Eren could command a room when he wanted to, and right now he was radiating a rage that made the air fall silent and his blood to run cold.

A hand went to Y/N’s mouth, but the sudden movement caused a shooting pain to stab her through her side and she gasped slightly. Eren looked down at her one last time and shook his head and scoffed, he turned on his heels and walked away. Armin trailing after him like an abandoned dog, calling after him.

Y/N sat there on a ground, unable to look up. He was right. She was worth absolutely nothing compared to Mikasa. Mikasa was beautiful in ever single was a person could be. Her hair was dark and beautiful and her eyes told a story that anyone would want to sit down and listen to.

Y/N eyes only held sadness and a deep longing to be wanted and loved the way she loved Eren. Y/N wanted the kind of loyalty she showed Armin. Eren was right, she was worth nothing, she would never be as pretty, or a skilled, and even if he noticed her, which he never did, he would never look at her the way she looked at Mikasa, and that made her feel like a broken teacup that nobody wanted.

Eren didn’t even notice, that was hurt. Y/N was sure that Mikasa did, but made no effort to extend her a helping hand, and Armin either didn’t care of didn’t notice, and she couldn’t tell what option would hurt more.

“ I am worth something.” she whispered quietly to herself, like it was a lie she was trying to convince herself of.

Everything hurt, her stomach hurt, and her chest felt like it was stepped on by a 16 meter titan, she couldn’t breathe and the room felt suffocating, she was suffocating.

She tried to get up before falling back down again, this time making no effort to how much pain she was in. She groaned loudly and clutched her stomach, and fell flat on her back. She started to cry, something she hadn’t let herself do in years.

Connie walked over to her, and fell to her knees, he tried to touch her hair but she pulled away.

“ Y/N.”

“ Just give me a second.” she spoke through ears, trying to wipe her tears. “ Just give me a second, and I can clean up.”

Connie remebered that she was hurt, and he wasn’t even there when she got thrown from the horse, and nearly stepped on. Connie was a friend could notice when something was wrong, and something was horribly wrong.

“ Y/N calm down.” Connie said again.

She was anything but calm, and was struggling to breathe properly and holding her stomach, hoping in all the commotion she hadn’t torn her stitches.

“ I’m worth something.” she whispered to herself over and over again, like she was trying to believe it herself.

The door snapped open so hard it bounced off the wall, followed by harsh footsteps from Captain Levi, who didn’t notice Y/N either, just walked over to the table and ran his fingers along the underside of it.

“ You call this clean?” he asked, he took another step forewards and tripped over Y/N, who heard Levi come in and clamped over her mouth to stop crying, which hardly worked, because all you could hear wear muffled groans.

“ What the hell-” he looked down, and saw Y/N, with a pathetic glint in her eye, trying her best not to spontaneously combust. ‘ What are you doing on the floor?”

“ I fell.” she whispered. “ I’m sorry.”

He looked at her made a small disapproving noise and motioned for Connie to help her get back up, and take her back to bed where she she should be lying down. Even the captain, who looked completely disinterested on a good day, knew that she was hurt, and made a effort to care for her. Something that her friend, Eren , who she considered  a best friend didn’t. And that made her more upset then ever, she covered her face with her hands to stave off the embarrassment, but it was too late.

She was already bleeding, and was pretty sure she tore her stitches, and in a shit ton of pain, and wanted nothing more to be held. Connie whispered something about it all being okay, but Y/N couldn’t hear it over the sound of her own heartbeat, which was deafing.

Jean stopped Connie and nodded at him, and Connie pretended to sweep again to calm the Captain who looked less than amused at the mess in the kitchen.

“ I’m sorry.” Jean whispered. He pulled Y/N up by the arm and helped her stood up, her body felt like jello, and it became very clear that she had no intention of walking anywhere with anybody. “ I know it hurts, but it’ll all be over and a few minutes.”

He scooped her up from under her knees and carried her towards the back door. She grunted, Why was he taking her outside, she wanted nothing more than to crawl and bed and die. That was all she was worth after all.

“ I wanna go to bed.” she whined.

“ Just trust me will ya?” he asked sweetly.

Jean was a cocky boy and would do anything to prove that he was right or better than someone. Expecially Eren, who had a excissevley slapable face. He was a better man than Eren by a mile.

He carried her through the forest, to a small stream and loud waterfall. The sound made her want to cover her ears, but she quickly grew accustomed to it. She liked it, it was so loud that she couldn’t even hear her own thoughts. Jean sat her down on a rock by the stream and she stared at her reflection, so engulfed with the woman that she had grown into, she didn’t even notice Jean re-wrapping the bandage on her arm.

“ I think I tore my stitches.” she whispered.

“ You didn’t I checked.” he muttered.

They were so close he could hear her over the waterfall, and his nose was tickling her ear.

“ You were supposed to be taking it easy.” he said.

“ I wanted to be helpful.”  she whimpered, she winced slightly.

“ Are you in pain?” he asked, knowing that she was in a world of pain, but asking in the vain hope that she wasn’t.

“ Am I worth something?” she asked.

“ I think so.” he said. He finished wrapping her bandages. “ I think so at least.”

“ I’ve done everything for him.” she stared at the sun, hoping it would blind her.” I’ve given up my entire life for him, ever since we were kids I’ve given up stuff just to make him happy and he doesn’t even care.”

“ I get it.” he laughs. “ Boy do I get it.”

Y/N snapped her head in his direction, and looked at him. What could he know anything about not being a choice at all. He knew nothing of betrayal and being ignored and he knows nothing about the gut wrenching feeling that the person you’ve built your life around hates you.

“ Mikasa.” he laughs.

“ The other woman.” Y/N replied. “ The other goddamn woman.”

“ I think I’ve loved her since the day that I’ve met her and I almost died for her and she is still obsessed with that self obsessed suicidal maniac who can’t dig his head out of his ass long enough to even notice what a great girl he has.” he stared at his refection and then looked away, he hated the way that she made him feel. Like a empty shell undeserving of love. “ Sorry, that was uncalled for.” Eren was alot of things, and a man in everyway Jean felt he wasn’t.

“ Why did you bring me here?” she asked. She became used to the sound of the waterfall echoing around her, and the sound quickly became soothing.

“ Its the best place to yell at god. And I felt like yelling.” He looked at the cloudless sky and there was nothing to block the blinding light of the sun. But he didn’t mind the fact that it blinded him, and he had alot to say at god.” Screw you god.” he whispered.

“ You call that a yell?”

He wanted to yell but didn’t have it in him anymore. He was so beat down and all his energy was drained from loving someone who took and took without so much as as a thankyou.

“ I have nothing to say to god.”

Y/N stared at her reflection and Jean stared at the empty forest. The yellow sun bounced off his head and made his face seem like he was glowing. His big brown eyes told Y/N he was a good guy if not hidden. But Y/N knew everything about hiding. She spent her whole life hiding.

Jean sighed loudly and forced himself to sit up straight.

“ Eren of all people has no right to determine your worth.” Jean spoke. “ Eren doesn’t deserve your love.” he whispered. Her expression turned into a wince at the word. “ You do  love him right?”

“ I don’t even know what love means.” she replied. She stuck her hand in the chilled water, causing the surface to ripple slightly. “ Do you?”

“ I think love means loyalty, and sacrifice, and respect and trust.” he speaks. “ That’‘s what my mother told me.”

“ Mikasa doesn’t deserve your loyalty.” she whispered.

She jerked her hand out of the water. She hated the cold feeling on her fingertips and longed for warmth. Y/N didn’t think that she deserved to feel warm so she stuck her hand back in.

“Eren doesn’t deserve your trust.” Jean said back. He faced her and watched her expression turned into one of mourning, she bit her lip and sniffled.

“ I wish he did. God I he wish he did.” she muttered. She laughed to herself. “ To be honest I wouldn’t trust Eren to milk a cow if I handed him a bucket.”

Jean smiled a little bit. Eren was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve the attention of any girl let alone, one of the only people that he cared for in this miserable crappy world. On missions his mind would often wander to “ Why was he still fighting?” His father abandoned him when he was a child, and his mother was bound to die any day now, he was just waiting for the letter to know that she finally kicked the bucket. But he thought of his friends, the ones that would die for him, so he kept fighting, Because they deserved a better world to live in.

“ Mikasa is about as loyal to a paper bag to anyone except Eren, even Armin.” Y/N said. “ Don’t give her your loyalty she doesn't deserve it. She hasn’t earned it, not from you.”

“ I don’t deserve much.” he laughed.

She turned towards him and touched his thigh and squeezed it. He deserved the world if only he wanted to accept it.

“ You deserve a lot.” she whispered. He looked at her, his big brown eyes were so sweet it made her feel like she had to look away. The feeling of looking at anyone else but Eren made her chest feel on fire.

He took his finger and lifted her chin, and placed his lips on hers. She didn’t pull away and the feeling of him felt better than the feeling of being ignored and she didn’t mind it. Jean was warm and sweet and no matter how hard he tried to deny it painfully sensitive and empathetic.

Everything that she wanted, and everything that she needed.

He pulled away very suddenly as if he realized what he was doing or someone lit his hair on fire. The sun shone through the trees and spread warmth along the back of his neck.

“ I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” he turned away.

“ I think I trust you.” she cut him off.

He stopped slouching and sat upright. He turned and looked at her, the idea of anyone but Mikasa felt completely forgin to him, he never even considered it an option.

“ I respect you.” he said. He grabbed her hand that was still placed on his thigh and squeezed it. It was cold bu he didn’t care. “ And I trust you.”

He took his other hand and stroked the side of her face, his hands felt warm and welcoming and she wanted nothing more than to be welcomed.

“What does this mean?” he asked.

“ I’m willing to figure it out.” she whispered. “ I don’t mind... the feeling of this.” she added. She looked foreward into the empty abyss of the pond.

So there they sat, holding hands, desperately hoping that someone would love them the way that they loved other people, not realizing that they weren’t accepting the love that was right next to them all along.

taglist    

[ohimsummer]

content: angst?, jean x reader, canonverse, hurt/comfort, kind of proofread

An eerie feeling churns in your stomach; you throw suspicious glances around the long hallway you’re lurking in as you approach your room. Something isn’t right.

The off feeling only weighs heavier in your stomach as you draw closer to your door. There’s a sinister silence filling this side of the building, and you can somehow sense that whatever is causing it is in your room. You secretly hope that Jean can ease your worries — his contagious laugh and playful smile always melt away your tensions after a long day of training. You can’t wait to surprise him by finishing up early. ‘He’ll be so glad.’ Though the upcoming meeting with Jean is right behind your bedroom door, your excitement to see him does nothing to alleviate the uneasiness plaguing your mind.

You turn the knob to your room, a prominent ‘click’ from the knob sounding your arrival, and the door opens quietly. The room is nearly pitch black, save for a few faltering rays of the sunset sneaking through your open window. You step inside and skim over the interior. Jean would be on your bed, or at your desk, or some place where he could see you come in. He’d even occasionally wait outside your door. His absence only makes your nerves worse.

Movement in the corner of the room catches your eyes. A tuft of hair barely visible on the other side of your bed. Is he sitting on the floor? Maybe he wanted to try and scare you? You’re not convinced, but it’s the only explanation that comes to mind.

Heart rattling in your chest, you approach Jean on the other side of your bed. Shadows colour his face, but you can just make out the miserable frown on his lips. His head is tilted towards the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, and hands pressed hard against his ears. You shuffle over until you’re in front of his cowering form, and kneel down on the floor. The sight of him breaks your heart; he looks like a scared little child.

“Jean?”, you whisper, hands finding their way to cover his own. He flinches at your touch, and it sends shivers down your spine.

His eyes flicker open, gaze slowly rising as he takes in your presence.”Baby?”, he whispers back.”What are you doing back so early?”

“Nevermind that,” you say firmly, studying his expression.”What happened? What’s wrong? Why are you curled up on the floor, Jean, are you okay?”

He looks at you, and you notice the way his bottom lip trembles. Something is horribly wrong. You’ve only seen Jean cry a handful of times, and it was usually when something devastating happened. You’ve only caught him once, however, isolated with hands clasped over his ears.

“Is it him again?” You ask the question gently, careful not to set him off.

Jean gives you a nod and, even with the dim light filling the room, you can see the reflection of tears beginning to trail down his cheeks. You instantly pull him into a hug, plopping down beside him as he leans against you, and then drops down to lay his head in your lap. His body stutters and low, broken sobs escape him. One hand on his shoulder, you use the other to lightly massage his scalp and rub fingers through his hair. Jean has a tight grip on your calf as he buries his face in your lap. The wetness of his tears seep through your pants, but you don’t mind. The annoyance is totally drowned out by the sympathy and comfort you exhibit to your boyfriend, too caught up in trying to ease his sorrow to care about some small stain in your clothes.

The sky is pitch black when Jean finally sits up. He doesn’t meet your eyes, ashamed and a little embarrassed.

“Hey.” You murmur and place a careful hand under his chin.”It’s okay, Jean. I’ll always be here for you. You don’t have to be scared to be vulnerable around me, love.”

He finally meets your gaze, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed from crying. Jean’s arms find themselves around your waist, and he tucks his face into the crook of your neck as he pulls you into a hug.”Thank you, baby. I love you. So much.”

Lips place light kisses on his neck, ear, anywhere they can reach.”I love you too, Jean. Don’t ever forget that.”

[lazyexcuse]

*Y/n and Levi training*

Levi, wiping the blood from his lips with a smirk: “Oh yeah? Is that the best you can do?”

Y/n, holding back tears: “Yeah actually, I’m trying really hard..”

Levi, standing up straight, shocked: “Oh.. ok.. hey— it’s ok—“

[kentopedia]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ LEAVING LIPSTICK STAINS ON LEVI

fem!reader, sfw, fluff, you leave lipstick all over levi before a mission and the scouts find out, just something super cutesy & short while i work on some longer pieces hehe, pls ignore errors lol, 1.3k words

“promise you’ll come back in one piece?” you say, smoothing the wrinkle between levi’s brow with a kiss. 

he glances up at you from under his lashes, crinkling his nose as a short, breathy laugh escapes him, one he tries to subdue. still, he can’t deny the happiness that slips onto his features, not when joy is so fleeting because of the life that the two of you live. 

cold hands run across your back, down to your hips as you straighten his collar, kissing his sharp cheekbones, the bridge of his nose. “i’ve made it this far, haven’t i?” levi mutters, squeezing your sides gently before shifting you off of his lap.

he lifts you, sets you on the edge of his desk, causing some of the papers that erwin had dropped off earlier to crinkle. a smile graces your lips as levi stands, stretching his limbs behind him, the chair pushing away from the desk with a creak.

“i’m going to be late because of you,” levi remarks, eyes narrowed playfully, but he gives you another kiss on the lips, lingering there like it’s painful to pull away.

“then stop kissing me.” your hands splay across his chest, but you don’t push him away, feeling his heart beat under his ribcage, the melody that you will always come back to. still, levi tugs your hips forward, slots in between your legs, and kisses you even deeper. “it’s time for you to go, captain levi.” 

a heavy sigh weighs against your mouth, his exhale warm as he pulls back. “sounds like you want me gone.” 

“of course i don’t.” your voice softens as you play with his fingers for a moment, before he's tugging them away gently, withdrawing from your figure. “i'm going to have to find someone else to sleep next to while you’re away."

normally, you would’ve been going with levi and the rest of the scouts, but an injury from your last mission prevented you from going on any more for a few weeks. 

levi snorts, putting on his jacket, fixing the leather straps across his chest. “is that all i’m good for? killing titans and keeping your bed warm?”

you make a face at him, then shrug, half-hearted as he stares back at you with amusement. then, you laugh, cheerful and free; you know levi will come back to you. he has no other choice. 

levi makes his way towards the door. 

“levi?” 

he turns, the lipstick stains still visible on his cheek, dark against his pale skin. for a moment, you wonder if you should tell him—if he’d be mad if you didn’t. 

but then you remember he’s going to meet with a squad of fifteen year olds that have all almost died alongside him. if they really have a problem with their captain being loved by you, then they don’t care about him as much as you thought. 

you smile and shake your head, voice holding just enough mischief for levi to notice. “just be safe. i love you.” 

he softens. there are times where levi is hesitant to say the words, still worried you will be taken from him. but this is not one of those times. not when you will be separated for days, his life once again in danger. “i love you too, sweetheart.”

within ten minutes, levi is down to the first floor, pushing into the room where the members of his squad are already waiting. 

he’s only a minute late, but he feels like they must have been waiting for hours, the way that they are all gawking at him with wide eyes, connie’s jaw faltering slightly. “everyone here?” levi asks, doing a quick scan of the room, counting heads like he’s their babysitter. 

no one says anything. eren’s eyes look like they might bulge out of his head, and jean covers his mouth, looking away as him and sasha let out a stifled giggle. 

levi’s mouth draws into an even thinner line. “what the hell are you snickering about?" he grumbles, looking at each of them individually, wondering who will be the first to confess. 

their eyes dart away dramatically, faces red. even eren, who is normally more obnoxious than the rest, seems to have run out of words to say. 

his eye twitches; levi wonders if connie’s head might burst, or if sasha’s laugh will rip out of her first. 

“well?” levi asks again, snapping, already tired of this mission. a hot cup of tea sounds nice, in bed next to you.

armin, as usual, is the one to speak up when no one else has anything intelligent to say. “well, sir,” the blonde says, gesturing towards his own face. “i think…”

levi touches his cheek, remembering all the places you’d kissed him earlier, wearing that pretty black dress and your dark lipstick. a sigh leaves him when he pulls his fingers away, the tips coming back, smeared with a deep red. 

he should've known.

“i see," levi says, staring for a moment, before meeting eren's eyes, his lips finally widening into a grin.

“ooooh," eren sings, his expression smug as mikasa elbows him, her own features pinched tight. "the captain’s in looooove."

levi knows they are expecting a reaction, a spectacle of the fact that he adores you. but he’s never kept it a secret, and he’s certainly not ashamed of all the things he feels for you. 

“and what if i am?” levi asks instead, pointedly staring eren down as the rest of the scouts watch the exchange. “honestly, i am surprised no one noticed sooner.”

eren’s jaw falters a bit; a small wave of silence falls over the scouts. you and levi don't make a point of hiding your relationship, but really, levi shouldn’t have been surprised that no one in his squad was observant enough to notice. 

or so he thought, anyway.

historia’s smaller, high-pitched voice breaks up the quiet, repeating your name back to him, as if affirmation that you’re the one he kisses goodnight. a silly question really, considering levi has never looked at anyone else with the same kind of tenderness. 

“it is her, isn’t it?” historia asks, smiling softly. “i only know because you’re always holding hands under the table when you think no one can see.”

levi raises his eyebrow. “clearly we were wrong about that.” though, of all the things to notice, he thought it’d be the way you kiss him after every mission, the way he’s harder on you than anyone else because he doesn’t want to lose you.

eren shrieks your name like he’s never heard it before, and levi is starting to wonder if the boy actually is an idiot. his old squad had known immediately; petra caught you sneaking up to levi’s quarters when you thought everyone else was asleep, kissing him on the cheek when you thought everyone's back was turned. 

it’s been a long time since then, he supposes. maybe the years have taught you subtlety. 

“how long have you been together?”

“does she actually like you?” 

“do you—” connie makes a lewd gesture with his fingers. “you know.” 

“connie!” jean shouts, whacking him on the back of the head. “what do you think! dumbass.” 

“hey!" connie says, rubbing his head. “geez. i just can’t picture it.” 

"i’d rather you didn’t." levi’s face turns sour, disturbed by a room full of teenagers discussing his private and romantic life. “bring it up again and i’ll leave you outside of the wall on the next mission.” he pauses, crosses his arms with an exasperated exhale. “and she likes me just fine. at least, she has for the past five years.” 

“five—” 

a new wave of questioning starts and levi pinches his temples, shakes his head, the red smear of lipstick still on his face.

levi almost wishes you could’ve been there to field the questions instead. you’ve always been better with the kids, connected with them a lot easier than levi had.

even if it was would’ve exposed his lovesick eyes, the tiny lift of the corner of his mouth when you were around.

he’s never been very good about hiding it anyway.

[arminsfavoritepookie]

Eren sometimes forgets how big his cock his.

His eyes are confused and dazed as he is slamming his dick into you quickly and deeply. You're pleading with him to slow down, whimpering and even clawing at his back, but Eren's emerald eyes are solely fixed on the way your pussy is drinking in the base of his dick. Your cries of help and tears make him bite his lips and close his eyes out of pure bliss. Every time he thrusts, his huge cock touches your cervix, fucking you slowly and thoroughly as if he wants to savor the experience. And when Eren is feeling especially needy, he’ll press against your stomach and trace the outline of his cock bulging out your flesh trying to find where his dick ends in your guts.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her

Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.

Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation

Click here for a cute little spin off

You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-

“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”

Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…

“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.

Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.

There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.

At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.  

“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”

His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?

“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”

You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.

“But what if I lose you?”

“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.

Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?  

With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.

One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.

“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.

-a few years later-

“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”

“Are you up on sale too?”

That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.

It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.

But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.

Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-

No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.

Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.

A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.

“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.

You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.

But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.

“When will you finally let me get her?”

He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…

“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.

Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.

“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.

How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.

“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”

“I will get her myself-“

“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”

Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.

“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.

As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.

“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.

“Where is Levi?”

“Maybe if you calm down-“

“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.

“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”

With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.

Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…

“I…hate…y-“

Silence, darkness, nothingness.

“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.

“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.

“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”

-back at the base camp-

“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.

“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.

Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…

You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.

You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.

It knocked.

Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.

“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“

“You.”

Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.

“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.

The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.

“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”

Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.

“Don’t.”

The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…

“Levi.”

“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”

“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.

He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.

And alive.

And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.

“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.

You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.

“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”

Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.

“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”

Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“

He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.

“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.

You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.

And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.

“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”

“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.

“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”

Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.

“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”

Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?

“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”

Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.

“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”

And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”

You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.

“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”

Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.

“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”

“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“

“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.

[ackercoded]

“wait until after dinner,” levi said calmly.

you whined, planting open-mouthed kisses down his neck. your hands wandered under his shirt, and you let the tips of your nails gently graze along his skin.

he didn’t budge.

“but i need you so badly, i can’t make it through dinner, levi…” you moaned against his skin, lightly nipping at it.

he let out a sigh, closing the file of documents on his table. “this is highly inappropriate, especially when i’m working.”

you moved yourself across his lap and straddled him. he only met your needy stare with a bored look.

you began kissing his jaw, as you slowly ground yourself against him. the slightest bit of friction between your thighs had you panting, until levi grabbed your hips firmly, stopping your motions.

“i hate you,” you whispered, bringing your lips to his. “kiss?”

he closed the distance without a word, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss.

you moaned again, as you ran your tongue along his lips, trying to get him to deepen it. levi’s hand found itself around your throat, pushing you back a little. a quiet fuck escaped your lips when his fingers tightened slightly, your hands bunching up around his shirt in desperation.

“after dinner.” he whispered, his steel gray eyes glowing with dark promise.

it was safe to say he kept his word, when you found your hips arched with your legs spread on his bed an hour later, your sobs of pleasure muffled against the pillow as levi fucked you senseless. both of your bodies were slick with sweat as his cock split you open, your juices helping him slide in and out of you with ease.

he slapped your ass harshly again, the impact welling up tears in your eyes as you felt the sting reverberate through your entire body.

“will you behave next time?” he growled as he continued his assault against your dripping cunt, driving into you so hard the only sounds in his room were of his balls slapping against your swollen clit. “you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself the one time i asked you to,” one of his hands gripped your hair, using the leverage to drive into you deeper each time.

your response was only a pathetic moan as hot pleasure overtook every fiber of your body and soul.

levi suddenly slowed his pace, each languid thrust making the walls of your pussy flutter against his hard cock. leaning down, he scraped his teeth against your neck, his grip on your hair tightening.

“use your words. will you behave?”

you whimpered. “y-yes, captain!”

he resumed his brutal pace again, his hand finding your ass and squeezing the sore flesh.

“that’s my girl.”

[hornyanimegirl]

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Series Masterlist

Warning: pregnancy, mentions of abortion

“it’s too much”

You were terrified, hands shaking, palms sweaty. So much confusion and distress from just two lines appearing a stick. But, you had taken at least 5 of these tests and the two lines were the only things coming up. Tears ran down your face, and your eyes were blurry with unshed ones. 

How could you be pregnant now? You loved kids, and loved the thought of being a mother but you knew Levi wasn’t ready to be a father. It was also so early, way too early to be having kids. You were still trying to get your degree for petes sake, a baby would change the whole course of your life...

Of both of your lives.

How were you going to tell Levi? What was he going to say? You would have to hide it. You needed to sort out your thoughts before saying anything to him. Did you want to keep the baby? Are you ready for this type of responsibility?

The conversation months ago played through your head. “Maybe in the future but it’s too early now”. Is it still too early? Of course it is. The conversation wasn’t even a year ago. But shouldn’t he be happy about bringing a new life into this world? But its not about that, its about his future, whether he’s ready for this sudden change.

You sat on the bathroom floor brain whirling with questions, and contradicting yourself while asking them. You felt like you were losing your mind. The anxiety of telling your boyfriend was too much, and the decision of keeping the baby weighed heavily on your shoulders.

You touched your stomach a frown on your face as you stared at the ground with furrowed brows.

“Well I guess I’ll have to figure it out soon”

Next

Taglist: Open

@daoreogirl  @galactict3a   @thel0v3hashira143​  @angelsceeee

[minami-ff]

I Want My Kids to Have Your Eyes

Levi x Reader (fluff, sfw)

what a bold thing to say to your captain.

Moonlight hung over the hill like a comforting blanket as you both reclined an arm’s length apart on the soft grass beneath, bodies sinking into the earth. The day had been relentless, a gruelling mission that tested every ounce of strength. Now, in the quiet aftermath, you two found solace gazing upward at the summit’s view, shimmering like scattered diamonds against the canvas of the night sky.

The shared stillness remained comfortable, before you posed a soft interruption to the quietude, "Captain, do you ever think about your future?"

Levi's eyes briefly left the constellations above, attention shifting to you. "Yes, it usually ranges from the next second to the next few months. Which area of land outside the walls to explore, how defensive operations should alter for the next month, which day certain intelligen-”

“Captain-” You interrupted, then hesitated, the vulnerability of the topic making your heart race. "I meant a peaceful future, like having a family, kids?"

Levi's brow furrowed slightly. The thought of it was unfamiliar, impossible. "In this war? That’s far-fetched," he remarked, gaze returning to the stars.

A subtle smile grew on your lips as scenarios played at the back of your mind. "I know, of course, but don’t you ever imagine it? A life after the war, a future where Titans are just stories we tell our children." Levi's expression softened, a fleeting hint of wistfulness in his eyes.

"Like sometimes I think if I had children, I’d take them to play by the oceans, make adorable lunch sets," you continued, "how beautiful they would look if they had your eyes…" Embarrassment started flushing up as you realised you rambled on way too far.

His eyes widened imperceptibly, caught completely off guard by your comment.

"WAIT, that didn’t come out right. I didn’t mean having them with YOU, of course... definitely not…" You trailed off, a splash of pink painfully obvious on your cheeks. Get yourself together y/n, what on earth are you saying to your captain?

“Ouch.” A flicker of disappointment crossed his features. Levi cleared his throat, seemingly caught in the unexpected turn of the conversation. "Well aren’t you very in objection to that idea." he snickered, hiding a trace of sorrow beneath his face.

“Nevermind, I’m sorry, please forget what I said." You apologised in the tense atmosphere.

But Levi didn't dismiss it. Instead, his mind seemingly remained lost in contemplation. "How will your children have my eyes, if they don't have my genetics?" Determined to disprove your faulty reasoning.

You chuckled nervously, "I just mean I hope they’ll be a pretty colour, and delicate shape, like yours."

Levi displayed a rare vulnerability in his expression. He had never given thought to the aesthetic of his eyes; they were simply a part of him, a feature he never considered noteworthy. This was the first time he had received a compliment about them, and it left him momentarily speechless.

"At this rate, my most optimistic guesstimate is that I’ll be slaying titans till I’m 60." You broke the awkwardness joking, "in that case I might not be able to have kids, doubt any man would still take my crinkled self on a date anyway."

"Why not?" Levi replied seriously, his voice a soft echo in the tranquil night. "I won't be even a tiny bit surprised if you're still this beautiful at 85."

A blood-bathed blush adorned your complexion, stomach filling with butterflies and warmth, brain connections zapping around - wondering if he really thought that way, or,

“you’re just saying that.”

Levi sighed, “in all your years of knowing me, when have I ever felt obliged to tell a white lie, Comrade?”

"Right…” You muttered, with all sorts of thoughts doing laps beneath your skull, trying to continue the conversation as level-headed as possible. “Perhaps I'll meet my first love at 99,” a giggle escaping your breath as you joked.

Unexpectedly, Levi's response carried a weight that belied the casual banter. "Well. I think people can be in love without being in a formal relationship. You could easily have your first love now."

Your gaze laid upon his side profile, slightly puzzled by his logic, "but how can you be in love with someone without holding hands, saying mushy things, and all that?"

His head turned towards you, a moment of silence filling the air with eyes drilling into yours, revealing a sincerity that tugged at your heart. "I definitely can."

[satorusdiary]

Dating basketball player Eren jaeger.

Basketball player! Eren who has a necklace with your initials, filled with small diamond jewels. Not only that but you have a necklace that his initials, just so everyone knew who was yours.

Basketball player! Eren who doesn’t go to parties, which is unusual since he was the one who would attend all parties that was happening with his friends. Instead, he’s in his dorm room with you in his bed watching some scary movie you begged him to play for what it seemed like forever.

Basketball player! Eren who drives the both of you to his practices. Every day or night, whenever he has practices your coming along for sure. Just so he could see your cute smile sitting on the bleachers, whilst watching him practice to make you proud.

Basketball player! Eren who makes out with you in the hallways infront of anyone who has a crush on him. Just so he could prove to them that he’s only yours.

Basketball player! Eren who looks out for you in the crowd during a game when he makes a shot. Shooting a wink at your direction along with a cute bright smile. He always notices whenever you blow a kiss his way.

Basketball player! Eren who won’t stop bragging about you to his teammates! Whether it would be in the locker room, or in the court while their practicing for their upcoming game.

“Bro, i’m being serious. Y/N is a fucking angel. I love her soo fucking much, did you see how cute she was in my jersey?” Eren rants to his friends, being half naked with a towel covering his bottom half.

Reiner rolls his eyes, and sighs.

“yes eren, i think we know how lucky you are to have a hot girlfriend with an ass.” Reiner blurts out the last part, on accident. Now his eyes are wide.

Eren glares at Reiner.

“I know she’s hot Reiner. But if you stare at her like that i’ll fucking pull up to your neighborhood at three am, i’m not playin’ around.” Eren grunts, slamming his locker closed, sending a strong push of wind towards Reiner who watches his friend leave the locker room pissed off.

Basketball player! Eren who walks you to your classes. Always having an arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to him, not letting any male besides the guys he’s cool with close to you. After you both make it to your class, he kisses your forehead and your lips waving you goodbye and to have a good class.

Basketball player! Eren who has you on his lap whenever he does attend a party. Most likely he would go if you wanted to go. He’s sitting on a chair beside the pool whilst interacting with his friends, and teammates going over the next game.

Basketball player! Eren who unfollows any girl who isn’t you. This only happened because you mentioned once about how many girls he was following as a joke.

“Rennie.. why is your following count so low on instagram.” You nervously ask your boyfriend who was sitting on his desk doing his homework.

His hair was out of its bun, freely laying against his shoulders. He looked, utterly focused on his homework that would be due tomorrow.

“Jus felt like it. Why should i follow any other girl when they aren’t my pretty girlfriend?.” His smile gets brighter, sending a heartwarming feeling into your chest. Your lover for him always increasing from his actions.

You grin, walking over and sitting on his lap. Eren chuckles at the amount of kisses your pressing all over his face.

“Mwah! i love you s’muchhh.” You pressed another kiss.

Eren cups your cheek, placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

“I love you more, pretty girl so much more than you know it.

Basketball player! Eren who punches the shit out of any dude who checks you out in front of him. It gets really bad when he needs three of his friends to pull him off of the dude who decided to disrespect you. His girl.

nsfw

Basketball player! Eren who fucks you rough, just because he lost a game for the first time in so long. He has you on all fours, begging him to slow down when his big cock is jamming inside you multiple times. He had one of his hands slither down to your clit to toy with you more, making you arch your back more and cry out his name.

Basketball player! Eren who fucks you against the lockers in the changing rooms after his victory game, just to make one of the players who have a crush on you jealous that Erens the one that’s fucking you. The look on his face never fails to make Eren grin in satisfaction.

His jersey is over you, and is the only thing your wearing while your getting pounded. Your legs wrapped around Erens waist, and him pressing kisses to your cheeks muttering how much he loves you, and how much he would love to have a family with you and marry you.

After that the other player who had a crush on you never showed up to practice ever again.

Basketball player! Eren who gets head from you before a game happens. The both of you are in a small closet, with you on your knees taking Erens cock in your throat as best as you could. Eren, who is standing beside the wall, forcefully thrusting his dick inside your sweet mouth.

Basketball player! Eren who invites you inside his dorm to study, when later on your going to be sitting on his face with his mouth sucking and licking your folds.

Basketball player! Eren who sends the guys who flirt with you a photo of you on your knees giving Eren a blow job. If they manage to piss off Eren more, he ends up sending the boys your guys sex tape just so they would stop flirting with his baby.

Basketball player! Eren who stuffs you full of his cum, and uses your underwear to stop it from leaking out when the both of you are walking bath to a class you both have together. All of your classmates look at you both, noticing how messy you both looked. But they aren’t a stupid, they knew you fucked.

Basketball player! Eren who touches you inappropriately and makes out with you infront of the girls who flirt with him. Never forgetting to introduce you to them, a sad and embarrassed expression playing on their faces as they apologize to you.

“Oh, this is my beautiful girlfriend y/n. Did you she’s going to move in with me once we graduate? Not only that, but did you know she sucked my dick about.. hmm.. 12 minutes ago?” A menacing grin appears on his face.

Basketball player! Eren who cockwarms you whilst you do your homework. It doesn’t take long before you start bouncing on his dick, begging for him to cum inside you.

Basketball player! Eren who takes photos of you filled with his cum, naked with only his jersey on, and on his dick when his cum gets on your whole body. He never fails to keep the photos in his wallet, his binder, and on the mirror in his car.

Basketball player! Eren who always tells you he loves you, and always spills all of his feelings to you whenever you both are having soft, slow, loving sex just for you to feel better whenever you have a bad day.

Basketball player! Eren who makes it clear to anyone who tries interfering with his relationship that you’re his favorite girl. And that you both belong to each other. No bitch is going to ruin that.

[ohimsummer]

i watch the moon

content: angst, unrequited love

a/n: thought this up at like 11pm right before I fell asleep

Despite the bustling crowd and flash of neon lights, you find your gaze drawing back to the same man: Jean, sitting idly at the other end of the bar in the company of your mutual friends. You all were out celebrating Connie’s birthday, and decided to end the night at his favorite club.

You can’t decide if it’s the alcohol, the lights, the noise, or a mix of all three that has you feeling dizzy and sick. Maybe it’s the distinct smell of sweat and pee radiating off of people who’ve clearly drank past their limit. Or the rancid smell of vomit that seems to permeate the room and stir with the scent of cheap perfume. Or, maybe, it’s the constant flicker of Jean’s eyes to another woman across the room.

He’s been doing it all night, staring over at Mikasa. It’s clear amongst your friends that he’s infatuated with her. Everyone knows that she’s a sight to behold, but the thought of her and Jean together makes your heart ache. The same way it aches now as you watch him try to sneak another glance at where she seats next to Eren, but you can tell by the look he gives Sasha, who has a cheesy grin on her face and nudges him with her elbow, that he wasn’t too discreet in his actions. The interaction is childishly wholesome, but the context of it gives you a migraine.

Connie, seated next to Jean, catches your eye and waves you over. It takes you a few minutes to squeeze your way over there, and when you do there’s no empty seats.

“Here,” Jean stands, placing a hand on the small of your back, and guides you towards his now empty seat.”You can have my seat.” He was so courteous. Mikasa had to be a fool to fall for someone like Eren over Jean.

Connie interrupts before you can express gratitude.”Woah, a gentleman! I’d say don’t make her fall too badly in love with you, but I think it’s a little too late for that.”

The brunette eggs him on.”Ooooh! Didn’t know you had the hots for horses, Y/N?”

“Shut up, Sasha!”, Jean reacts immediately. Everyone knows the horse jokes are just to get a rise of him, you don’t know why he keeps giving such a vehement reaction. And he either didn’t process what Connie said, or chose to ignore it. Either way, you don’t know whether to feel relieved or distraught at his lack of response.

“Of course I don’t like Jean.”, you mumble into your almost-empty glass, which mostly consists of watered down alcohol at this point.”He’s in love with Mikasa.” You try not to choke on her name.”Why would I fall for someone in love with someone else? Be real, guys.”

Jean gives you a wide-eyed stare as Connie looks for his comeback.“Ooh, shit!”, he shoves Jean in the back, sending him forward a couple inches.”You gonna take that, Jean?”

Sasha interjects to calm things down, but not without another poke at Jean .”Okay, guys, let’s leave Jean-boy alone before he throws another fit. You know he doesn’t like when we bring up how hopelessly in love with Mikasa he is.”

Jean separates himself from you three, and you follow his steps as he goes to now lean against the wall. He takes a sip from his glass and, although his eyes flit around the room, you notice their continuous landing in the same direction. You know who’s holding his attention without even turning your head. Your eyes study Jean’s features: the way his brows are slightly furrowed, the way the veins in his hand slightly bulge from the grip he has on the clear mug, and how his mouth keeps forming a straight line, which is usually his tell that he’s jealous. You would know, you find yourself admiring him so much that it’s become obvious. For once, you’re glad that Jean’s attention is elsewhere. Wouldn’t want him thinking you’re a creep for staring so often.

Connie breaks you out of your trance when he throws his arm around your shoulders. You had tuned out the bickering between him and Sasha, but now you’re attentive to his sudden statement.”Tell Sasha we don’t fall for people we have no chance with, right, Y/N?”

“I’m sure he can’t help it, guys.” , Sasha giggles.

You can’t answer, only finding your gaze wandering back to Jean. But he’s looking elsewhere.

[lazyexcuse]

Y/n, sighing: “I.. have something to get off my chest Sir..”

Levi, internally: “please be your shirt, please be your shirt—“