#apessimisticjackass

[biomic]

screw it. Top 5 WORST final rider forms (Secondary, Primary, etc.)

5. cyclone joker xtreme

4. ouja survive

3. gamedeus cronus

2. imperial demons

1. chaser mach

[monmuses]

[blue-rphub]

i guess if we're having bad food opinions, milk does not belong in cereal. there. I said it.

POINT AND LAUGH AT THIS GUY

[glacierbash]

Then Let Me Be Evil

You never wanted to hurt anyone, but the world never gave you a choice. You did the best you could with what you had, but every innocent mistake you made was held against you when it counted, every crossroads led you down the wrong path no matter which way you went. No matter what you did, the odds were stacked against you. It wasn't fair, and you are sick and tired of being told what a monster you are for things out of your control. Well, fine. They want a monster? YOU'LL GIVE THEM A MONSTER!

thank you @gailiag for the tag! this was really fun to consider and work on, and it gave me an excuse to gpose again lol. it took me a while to decide if this fit Iverelle well or not--I always thought that Iverelle was the type of person who would always and forever do the right thing, and even in her worst versions of herself (like in a villain ending), she'd be doing it because she believed herself just. But, then I remembered one of Iverelle's key factors: She believes in the good of the people around her. She believes that her suffering is justified, therefore she will continue to suffer it until her final death, because it is worthwhile for the sake of the people she loves. She would shoulder every burden imaginable, if it meant the people she loves would never suffer. But what if she gave up on people? What if misanthropy and nihilism won over, and Iverelle decided that not only was her suffering not enough, but that people around her didn't deserve her righteousness? What if she decided enough was enough? After all, Iverelle has a certain friend who she could turn to, should the two of them decide this is the best course of action. She's never truly alone, after all. And all of her fights and all of her duels with Zenos, it's changed her. She knows he's not wrong, in claiming she's nothing more than a beast hunting for greater prey. What greater prey is there than all who roam the star? She would do it, then, turn against all who once stood with her, for the greatest challenge imaginable, for the greatest thrill. She'd give her detractors everything they wanted. She'd prove them right.

But don't worry. Iverelle's unwavering belief in the good of people is unwavering for a reason. She loves people. She believes in people. She knows that for every bad person out there, there's a hundred good people. She knows that for every opportunist who would profit off of the suffering of the masses, there are a thousand who will work to improve the lot of not just themselves, but those around them. Even after all the abuse she suffered growing up, Iverelle knows there's still good out there, and still good people--and so, it is worth it to take another step, as exhausting as it is.

as for this, i'll go ahead and tagggg @jydrophobic, @apessimisticjackass, and @neptunewyvern, as well as YOU reading this, right now! thank you for reading my elf rambles blows u a kiss

link to quiz here!

[woltourney]

ROUND 1 SIDE A

1: Killhare of Caerbannog (@caerbannogs) v Kasha Sho (@r04ch) 2: Mayhem Moondrop (@ecosystem-administrator) v Shio (@the-littlest-kojin) 3: Meli Iliakos (@thefreelanceangel) v Posey (@motley-ember) 4: Eleutherios (@trans-estinien) v Katarh Mest (@katarh-mest) 5: Merle Rouge (@vamp-galactica) v Hali Aloke (@starrysnowdrop) 6: Sori Salbari (@khajiitclaws) v Koh'sae Windwalker (@rexstorm) 7: Sage Marigold (@imyour-marigold) v Vishnya Vanil Kola (@voidgearrr) 8: Surdal Demilish (@apessimisticjackass) v Hide-a Lyn (@when-angels-come) 9: Shura Kuroyanagi (@shishido-shiho) v Nira'sae Mian (@sae-mian) 10: K'rona Bahmu (@hikaruhoshina) v Heliox Kha (@windup-estinien) 11: Chuchu Chura (@spaceace144) v Archon Valusk (@dapperpea) 12: Flidais Oakclamber (@selnyam) v Alutheia Vythica (@alutheia-vythica) 13: Adih'ra Fudei (@adihra-fudei / @meromiro) v Galvin Foixewesfv (@elizabethrobertajones) 14: B'rsh Bran (@boileddogchicken) v Angel (@afflatusviscera) 15: The Moomoo System (@cryoriku) v Qadan Gal (@sword-of-the-dragon) 16: B'eatriz Nightstar (@kagehiraaa) v Eisha Pantera (@umbralaether)

[liches-covered-in-lich]

Last lines tag

tagged by @nocturance, thank you! :D

Tagging: @ego-osbourne @bforblitz @glacierbash @apessimisticjackass @ladydov

From what I understand, you just post the last few lines you have written for a WIP!

tw: talks of body horror, dissection, gore

Morokei traced his fingers over Konahrik’s flat stomach, his cheek digging into their chest and he breathed in their familiar scents. Past the layer of incense and void salts, Morokei could smell the sugared snowberries and the nutty cologne. While it was early in the day – a few hours before they separated with only a few moments to glance at each other – Morokei took the time to rest his eyes.  

He was so sore, his bones still ached as they were newly reformed together only a few hours ago. Morokei could hear the old creaks of the new runes carved into the marrow as he moved to drape himself over Konahrik better. As lazy as a newborn, he planted a limp kiss against the breasts. Even though it hurt, he couldn’t help but smile as the fresh scars on his cheeks strained his every movement. The new words that signified who he was: Glorious.

Konahrik’s body quivered as they stretched out their arms and legs with a loud crack. “How early is it…” Were the only words that managed to mutter out of their still lips. 

Morokei limply looked up to see their draped eyes and tousled hair. “Just a few hours before work, Kelskith.” 

“Kelskith…” Their face frowned as they continued to stare up to their bedroom’s ceiling. Thin drapperly flowed around them like flower petals. ‘Ah, I forgot that I kept the balcony door open.’ 

“Am I not allowed to call you by your past name anymore?” Morokei lifted himself up. Just to look at their face to gauge anything. He keeps on forgetting that Konahrik has a real face behind that mask. Their starkly pale skin that wrinkled from smiling. Yet so thick with freckles. Mid-length salt and pepper hair that sprayed around their pillow like weeds. Almond shaped eyes that hurt to look at. A long nose that stuck out from their warm expression; reminded Morokei of a fox really.

In all normal cases, Konahrik was plain. An average face that wouldn’t be distinguishable from the crowd. But that’s what Morokei loved about their face. It made it easier for Morokei to dream of them living a simple life together as he cupped their hollow cheeks to lure in a kiss. 

“No, no, it’s fine, love.” Konahrik lightly laughed as they ran a hand over their dry face.   

‘Love…they called me love.’  Morokei couldn’t help but give a goofy smile as he shifted up to be eye-level with them. 

“I just forgot that was my past name.” Konahrik muttered and stared up at the ceiling, only momentarily glancing down at Morokei. 

[fire-rose]

I know Guardians are more like Cats and Weasels than Bears, but I can't help but Blackhide being like a bear and just standing on her hind legs for prolonged periods of time, scaring both her parents and the xiliens

Honestly, that works. And just like bears she could also walk like that.

[bladecalamity]

exactly! you now understand my divine punishment! you get to live! also when you try to eat any lemon it turns to sand in your mouth but that's different and not as important

damn...

you know you're not all that bad, wanna form a pact?

[monster-or-man]

apessimisticjackass replied to your post “((It me birfday))”

((Borthday Time!!!!)) ~ xilieninvasion

THAMK YOU!!!!

[kabutoraiger]

@apessimisticjackass replied:

tbf if someone walked up to you and said 'hey can i put a demon in your phone' you wouldn't exactly be all that willing to help them 

i mean i don’t think vice needed to hop in there at all... all they would’ve needed this woman to do was covertly take a video, which is something people do all the time irl without demonic assistance.

[biomic]

i feel like dudes who go like 'KAMEN RIDER GOTCHARD IS MID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' are the real life equivalent of that Sonic 'NO FUN ALLOWED' meme. have fun, why dont you. go out and go to the circus. not everything has to be Build, 2! where it just gets more and more dramatic and dark. gotchard is allowed to be a fun Fourze-like.

it's not entirely fair to say everyone not feeling gotchard is being an edgy hater about it. there's valid criticisms to be made about how things have played out so far, and i can't blame anyone for not vibing with a particular season. im enjoying the show a lot so far, but i can see what people mean when they say the cast has some growing to do or some episodes feel a bit aimless/poorly paced

that being said, there's definitely a vocal subset of fans who are being very Loud and Obnoxious about how much they think the show sucks. i know the translator for eigo has gotten a bit of flak on twitter for defending the show (what do you want him to do??), and there was a whole hubbub a while back about how hotaro is So Bad that toei is going to outright replace him with kamen rider legend (sure.), and it's like. this is the show you're getting Mad™ about? you really want to plant your flag as the #1 Gotchard Hater? who has time for this

it reminds me how ghost has been the fandom's punching bag since it started airing. "well, saber was dogshit but at least it wasn't ghost!" "ikki was the woooooorst, still better than takeru though!" and now, not even 12 episodes in, i think gotchard is gonna be in that same boat. three, five, maybe even ten years from now i can very easily imagine this show being used as the benchmark for a "bad season", and as someone who's been down this road before it's already tiring. no more fighting hold my hand

[monmuses]

[cherishthisdemon]

apessimisticjackass replied to your post: Boy am I glad that Waluigi’s frozen in there and...

OP do you accept criticism

No, perish. 

[timesabwazing]

@galeem-of-light Marx rolls up to Spark, smirks. "You want some help there kiddo?" Oh no. Ohhhhh no. Marx takes in a giant gulp of air before screeching out: "BIG DICK ENERGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marx screamed, the phrase probably heard across the country. Look at what you've wrought Sparks, as a good chunk of people probably lose their hearing/have hearing damage.

@galeem-of-light

Spark is a kid.

When kids hear screeching, they gotta screech BACK. Even though his poor sensitive ears are probably damaged from hearing that.

“BIIIIIG DIIIIIIIIIIICK ENERGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!”

[woltourney]

ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 4

Vishnya Vanil Kola (@voidgearrr) v. Surdal Demilish (@apessimisticjackass)

Vishnya Vanil Kola:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? Vishnya Vanil Kola (he/him) (Legally it’s Vishnya Ymir but he will say its VVK)

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Viera

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Paladin (Additional note from submitter: Gunbreaker)

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Europe-Alpha

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Vishnya is just a funny guy tbh. He left home to go do whatever he wanted, and is incredibly touch starved due to not getting much affection as a child. Vish accidentally got tangled up in being a hero and whatnot, but he’s handling it pretty well! Also got hit in the eye by magic and is blind in it (the purple one!!) Big found family advocate, and calls all his Miqo’te friends (and also Thancred) “mi gatito” (he’s sposed to be russian+icelandic but shhh). He enjoys literally any and all affection, and will fold like a wet noodle. He enjoys being a hero because he’s able to cheer on other adventurers, and the adrenaline rush is fun overall. Also gives superb hugs (muscle + slight squishiness combo), & is a short king himbo that’s got a lot of self confidence <3

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. Uhm…I think everyone should win, BUT I should win because I’m awesome and strong and really really good at making friends!

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. Vishnya Vanil Kola literally translates to Cherry Vanilla Cola, his hair reminds me of it :) ALSO my design of Vishnya is much more bunny that canon Viera but i dont have a decent fullbody kdkfkfns

Surdal Demilish:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Surdal Demilish, He/Him

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Lalafell

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Sage/Samurai

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Gilgamesh as the Home Server, but frequents Behemoth

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Surdal Demilish is a 32 Year Old Lalafell- They usually lack tact, don't sugar coat most things, and hate it when he perceives people as being 'patronizing' to him. He likes to dress 'mature' because he utterly loathes when people mistake him for a child due to his stature and general look. He was roped into this 'Warrior of Light' business because apparently, he's the only one who does anything around Eorzea. Outside of his heroic adventures, he usually likes to play with his Gaelikitten or any other cat themed minion he may have, as well as fashion.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "I have done SO much goddamn petty work for Eorzea. I have done more work than I think even paid city officials. If I do not win, I will go back to not doing your people's menial chores and watch as society promptly falls apart." ~ Surdal Demilish

[fire-rose]

@apessimisticjackass replied to this post

Giant dumbass? Then clearly he needs some giant, dumbass horns- Longhorn Horns, to be exact.

Yes! :D

All the Yes!