#apologies for any name spelling errors i dont remember them all

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

day 5 update of my first disco elysium run! semi-blind bc i got stuck and unironically started looking shit up to progress my game

(earlier details of said run can be seen here)

prefacing this that my Harry's signature is Inland Empire, the base general stat bars going by 4 for Intellect, 3 for Psyche, 1 for Physique, and 2 for Motorics. my man's been every idealogy except fascist, teetering the line between Sorry Cop, Boring Cop, and somehow the Superstar Cop copotypes.

i hope to give my first Harry a happy enough ending but I don't want to lose the cringefail energy too much haha, the game decides!

i'll make another post or reblog when i finish the day. or game. it's the end of the week i guess

politcally my Harry is pretty centrist & moralist but i'm playing him as someone who doesn't want to be but hasn't figured out where he really wants to stand. the amnesia and shame contributes to the indecisiveness. he does want to get better as a person and craves Kim's friendship. He and I dread the gilding of the Church of Dolores Dei

- Turns out exhausting all the dialogue options with Klaasje was the way to help me finally get through Titus. I can't believe my attempts to keep my Harry from discussing anything remotely reminding him of his drug addiction (for RP reasons) kept me from fucking answers. I'm making him braver now, but more tempted to take shit in again bc I've been playing him sober besides the health and morale medicines from Frittte and he is still f r a g i l e. I failed the Authority skillcheck thrice and at that point Kim fucking spoke for me, his patience is insane

- Did not cuss out the racist lorry driver enough. Espirit de Corps has convinced me of a truth I didn't need to be reminded of (shaky backbone). I need to make it up to Kim

- Losing my fucking mind, René fucking dies?!?!? does this happen after exhausting some dialogue options or is he destined to die on Day 5??? Gaston I'm so sorry, and to think you loved him dearly.

- Took René's uniform and I gotta be real I dress my Harry up in an unholy balance of aesthetic, rp, and stats. So I went around wearing the pants from René's uniform coupled with some RCM uniform, the gift from Lena (more powerful than that bastard tie) and those red shoes from the Church. Whenever I change I make some effort to kept at least one piece of the default outfit (and will stop doing that once my Harry picks a side) and my god. Only after asking around the fishing village for Ruby does Kim pull me aside to tell me I look like a fascist. Why didn't you tell me sooner, I would've done otherwise. I agreed to change and forgot I acquired that brown detective coat. I feel like I'll start changing my clothes less bc of the sick coat (except for necessary stat boost bcs failed skillchecks have been slowing me down so fucking bad man). Goes nicely with the detective hat Annette gives me

- I can't believe how incredibly loreblocking these failed white skillchecks are giving me, like i feel some shit would have been solved so much faster had i figured them out in day 1. Took me too long to finally get our anoid dance music enjoyers to move into the Church with our radio girl. shout out crab man tiago

- Found Ruby! Died in the encounter bc I forgot to replenish my health. Bless Autosave. Ran back to Frittte to literally replenish and dress up to pump my pain threshold stat (that i gotta be real, really neglected for rp purposes).

- Ruby offing herself caught me off guard and then it clicked that I have given no reason for anyone in town to trust me and Kim. Yeah fuck, she wanted to make sure we couldn't get anymore out of her. Klaasje Klaasje Klaasje...

- THE TRIBUNAL. I mean, stopping it at the pace I was at was impossible but did I really need to walk straight into it after watching Ruby die????? Fucking hell dude. Shoutout Inland Empire for warning me as we were a few feet away from all of it, I could change up into appropriate stat clothing. I got the warning about the tribunal at Day 2 and assumed it would be happening five days after said warning, not literally at Day 5

- Klaasje fucking left. I think I understand what people say when the skillsets aren't always right <- why bother to reason???? but my Harry still persisted, even after what happened to Ruby

- I heavily debated shooting Rudd, but I wasn't sure if an even 42% would do me favors. Kim sweeping in to shoot the bastard himself gagged me. Of course you took the lead here, your volition was always stronger than dear old Harry's

- Fuck me I get shot TWICE????

- BLESS BLESS BLESS my dear lieutenant listened to me and avoided getting shot too

- I've been playing on Psychological voice mode up til Day 5 where I switched to Full. Limbic System gives me the creeps

- I chose to survive. Thank you for being there, Kim. You deserve some rest too. What do you mean we jumped straight to Day 7

[soft-boi-eli]

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

[yummyyume]

Of Love and Sunlight - Part 02

Here it is! To be perfectly honest with all of you, this part has been written first. There will be a part 03, somewhen in the future. I just need to write it. And there are some tentatives plot bunnies for a part 04. So we’ll see how it works out.

You can visit my AO3 if you want. I’ll post Of Love and Sunlight there soon. 

Part 01

Hope you all like it!

Tittles are adapted from Sunlight by Hozier, because I love this song and I didn’t have any idea how to name this series.

I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors, English is not my first language. I hope it’s still intelligible.

Taglist:

@alysrose-starchild @vixen-uchiha @dont-panic-to-much @ramos123 @stackofrandomstuff @thecaptainthunder @redbullgivescaswings @megaafangirl @thebooki3h @zorua-adorable  @user00000003 @eliza-bich @transcendent-heroes @a4-machete @nyx-in-line @stainedglassm @maskedpainter @schrodingers25 @iamabrownfox @corporeal-terrestrial

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Hold me, carry me slowly

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Marinette opens her front door tiredly. It’s far too early for anyone to be bothering her yet. She’s only awake because the twins are going to start fussing soon, and despite her short night, she prefers waking up with her alarm than with her babies’ cries. It tends to make her panic if they’re the ones waking her up, because her mind immediately wonders what’s wrong instead of remembering that it’s feeding time.

She’s not expecting to see Jon and Damian on her front step. She hurriedly steps out and closes the door behind her to bare them entry, leaving only a sliver open so she’ll hear her babies if anything happened.

“What are you doing here?” She hisses, glaring.

“We wanted to talk to you, Marinette,” Damian replies, words mild, expression politely blank, while Jon looks both hopeful and sheepish.

Marinette’s blood boils.

“I have nothing to say to either of you!” She snaps back. “You made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with me! Well, I don’t want anything to do with you!”

It’s only because she knows him so well that she sees Jon’s flinch at her words, but despite that he takes a step forward, careful not to touch her. Marinette takes a step back and curses the fact that the door is in the way.

“Marinette, we’re sorry. We’re really, really sorry for everything and we would like to talk. Please.”

And Marinette has always been weak to Jon’s earnest tone and puppy dog eyes. She wants to let them in and listens to what sort of flimsy excuses they came up with, because she missed them. She missed them so much, but they broke her heart and she’s not ready to let them break her babies’ hearts too.

Just as she’s about to open her mouth and tell them to get lost, there’s a sharp wail coming from the bedroom and at their suddenly alert expressions, she knows they heard it too. She closes her eyes just as a second wail starts and she knows there’s no getting rid of them now.

“Are you…” Jon starts, eyes fixed intently on the door. “Marinette, are you babysitting?”

She only sighs in answer and opens the door to get back inside. She doesn’t close it in their face as much as she wants to, because she knows they’re about to follow.

The girls are both fussing in their crib and Marinette scoops Scarlet up for a nappy change. She takes the time to put Asha’s pacifier back into her mouth before moving to the changing table.

“There, there. No need to cry. It’s just a soil nappy. We know how to take care of those.” She coos gently. “There, you go. All clean. I’m going to change Asha now and then we’ll have a nice breakfast, okay?”

She puts Scarlett back in the crib despite her complains and repeats the whole process with Asha.

She can feel the boys’ eyes on her, and it makes her want to lash out.

“Are they ours?” Damian demands.

“They’re mine,” she snaps, not looking at him. “There’re no fathers list on the birth certificates. They don’t need any dads, they have me.”

“But they’re ours, right?” Jon presses, tone so hopeful, but Marinette refuses to answer. That’s an answer in itself.

“Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you call?” Damian speaks again.

“I called you!” She hissed, eyes blazing in anger, but keeping her tone even so as not to upset her babies too much. “I called you and left voicemails and then both your numbers were disconnected, and I got the message! If you didn’t want anything to do with me, then I didn’t want anything to do with you either!”

“I didn’t change my number,” Damian says slowly, eyes never leaving the little face on the changing table. And then what he said seem to register and he retrieves his phone with a deep frown to swipe through the apps. “It’s not the same number.” He then looks at Jon with an almost wide-eyed look and Jon takes out his own phone to seemingly so the same manip.

“Me too,” he reveals, shocked. “Someone changed our numbers. Damian!” He hisses, this time with a glare for his boyfriend.

“Marinette, can you please give us the possibility to explain-”

“I’m this close to throw you both out, Damian! There’s nothing you could say that would make anything that you did okay!” She replies hotly.

“Please, Mari,” he pleads. “Please, just hear us out. You can throw us out after. I promise, if you want us to go, we will.”

Jon doesn’t add anything, but he bites his bottom lip and nods jerkily.

“Just… just go. Wait in the living room. I need to feed the girls.”

They both listen, thankfully. Marinette needs a minute.

Someone changed their phone numbers? Without their consent? That seems stupid and unfeasible, but… but she wants to believe them. She missed them. God, she missed them so much.

Marinette fusses a bit with Asha’s onesie and tries to make a list of all the reasons why she shouldn’t let them back in her life. When Scarlett makes an impatient noise that announces her readiness to cry again, Marinette knows that she can’t wait any longer. She scoops the girls with their favorite plushies and goes to the living room.

Damian and Jon are sitting squished on the armchair beside the couch.

Marinette sighs again and sits carefully in front of the couch on the plush carpet. It takes some maneuvering, but soon Asha is leaning across her lap, gently sucking her pacifier and looking at Marinette with all the trust her little baby heart knows. Marinette arranges the Tikki plushy on her tummy so she can grasp it.

“Let’s feed Scarlett,” she tells her daughter. “You know she’s always hungry.”

She then uncovers her left breast and, removing the pacifier, guides Scarlett to her nipple. The baby latches onto it and start sucking greedily, her little fingers kneading Marinette’s sleep shirt.

And then she waits. She’s not going to make things easy for them.

Jon is the first to move, seemingly transfigured by the sign of his daughter. He stands up in the living-room to face her.

“It’ll be easier to show you.” He says, before starting to spin so fast he’s only a blur, but when he stops, he’s wearing Superboy’s uniform and Marinette feels like a stone has dropped to the bottom of her stomach.

“I’m Superboy,” Jon tells her almost gently, as if he doesn’t want to spook her.

“And I’m Robin,” Damian utters after him. He hasn’t moved from the armchair, but there’s a green domino mask between his fingers.

“Oh,” Marinette says quietly, before she drops her gaze to Scarlett’s face. Her daughter has closed her eyes while she’s nursing.

Marinette… Marinette doesn’t know what to say. She knows what it means to be a hero. She used to be one, after all. She knows the sacrifices, the missed opportunities and the excuses. She knows the necessity for a secret identity and what it means to trust someone with it.

“You broke my heart,” she admits in a whisper, because what else can she say in the face of that, and she can feel her eyes prickle with tears.

Jon drops to his knees in front of her, back in his jeans and hoody.

“I’m so sorry, Mari. I never wanted to do that. It broke mine too to end things, but we couldn’t tell you.”

“We asked for the permission to tell you our identities,” Damian says, kneeling beside Jon on the carpet to face her, “but we were denied.”

“We had a long mission,” Jon continues. “Dad, Aunt Kara, Conner and me, as the last Kryptonians, were asked to help two planets come to an understanding. They were at war and their whole solar system was suffering from it. The mission was to stop the war long enough for a ceasefire and then helps with negotiating a peace treaty. Green Lantern helped and Damian-”

“I wasn’t going to let Jon walks into a dangerous fight without back up,” Damian cuts him off.

“I’m basically indestructible!” Jon replies without any real heat, proving it was an old argument. “And Dad, Aunt Kara and Kon were my back up!”

Damian ignores the interruption, focusing back on Marinette.

“The Green Lantern Corps was part of the mission too and while it’s officially over, the situation is still tense on those planets. The Corps is keeping an eye on things for now. We may have to go back if things turn south again, but hopefully, it won’t require our deployment again.”

“And we wanted to tell you the truth.” Jon tells her, earnest and heartbroken. “But when we asked our dads, they said our relationship was too new. That we couldn’t risk it. Even more so because we were going to leave for months and we wouldn’t be there to ‘make sure you don’t tell anyone’.” he finishes bitterly.

“As much as we didn’t want to end our relationship with you, without the permission to tell you the truth, we couldn’t disappear from the face of the earth and invent an excuse like ‘we’re doing a tour of the world and you’re not invited’.” Damian sighs and grabs Jon’s hand tightly. “We spent the last few months trying to come up with a way to win you back. Anytime we had some down time, we brainstormed about what we’ll do once we’re back on Earth.”

During their explanation, Marinette had switched the girls for feeding. Across her lap, Scarlett was now looking in direction of the men, probably intrigued by those new voices she didn’t know.

“And the phone numbers?” She eventually asks.

Damian slumps, breaking his rigid posture. “Do you know who my father is?” He asks.

“Batman?” She tries, but she’s almost certain. If he’s Robin, then it makes sense for his father to be the big bat himself. Which also mean that his siblings are the other Gotham vigilantes.

“Yes. Jon and I had to leave our phones here. Even the communications with the Watchtower were scarce. If you called more than once, Father must have changed our numbers.”

“But why?” She growls. “What right did he have?! You’re both adults! He didn’t even try to find out why I was calling you!”

“I’m sorry, Mari. I know Father loves me, but he tends to do what he thinks is best without always consulting us. Rest assure that I’ll have words with him.”

Asha choses that moment to push away her breast and Marinette does the usual ministrations to clean her face and clears her stomach of gas.

She hesitates a second, before closing her eyes with a deep sigh.

When she opens them again, she holds Asha out like a present. Jon scrambles closer without hesitation and very carefully accepts her in his arms, following her instructions on how best to hold her.

“This is Asha. Asha Gina Dupain-Cheng. She’s Dami’s.”

“Oh my god,” Jon exhales and a few tears immediately escapes his eyes. “Hello, Asha. It’s very nice to meet you.” His voice cracks a bit as Damian looks over his shoulder with an expression so soft and lost that Marinette’s heart aches with it. She beckons Damian closer too and places Scarlett in his own arms.

“And this is Scarlett Sabine Dupain-Cheng. She’s Jon’s.”

Damian is more confident in holding her, so he frees a hand to gently run his finger down her skin.

“Hello, Scarlett.”

“How…” Jon chocks on his tears. “How does it work? They’re twins, right?”

Arms free, Marinette slumps against the couch.

“It’s called ‘heteropaternal superfecundation’. My ovaries released two eggs at the same time, and both were fertilized. That alone would have resulted in fraternal twins. Except that one was fertilized by Jon and the other by Dami. So, twin babies with different bio dads.”

Because her Luck was just like that. Of course, Tikki’s influence would make Marinette’s first pregnancy the result of almost impossible odds.

For a long moment no one say anything. Jon and Damian are pressed so tightly together, both alternating looking at each baby in their arms, that it brings s a reluctant smile to Marinette.

“You have so much groveling to do,” she tells them. “You broke my heart. I’m not kidding when I say that. And the father section on the birth certificates is going to stay blank until I can trust you again. But you do something like that again and Scarlett, Asha and I are out of your lives for good. I don’t care if Scarlett is half-alien. They’re mine more than they’re yours right now. I carried them for eight months, I gave birth to them, and now I’m feeding them. And I was alone for all of that.”

“I promise, Habibti, that we’ll prove to you we’re here to stay. We want you and we want the girls.”

“It was a long mission,” Jon grins cheekily. “We definitely earned some downtime.”

“Exactly,” Damian agrees. “What would you like for breakfast, Mari? I’ll cook.”

“I made French toasts, last night. The preparation is in the fridge. You can cook that.”

With a small smile, Damian carefully gives her back Scarlett and then presses a dry kiss to Marinette’s forehead, before disappearing in the kitchen.

Jon moves until he’s sitting by her side against the couch and smiles at her. She missed his smile.

“So, what can you tell me about your daughters?”

“They are very healthy babies,” Marinette starts. “Scarlett definitely inherits your appetite. I need to complement her diet with formula because I don’t produce enough milk for all her feeding, plus Asha’s. That’s the alien biology, I suppose?”

“Yeah. Mom had some problem with that too when she had me, but at least she only had one baby to feed. What about Asha?”

“She’s fine with just breast milk, but she’s fussier when it’s time for sleep. I hope she’s not a premature insomniac, but now that I know about your nightly activities, I shan’t hold my breath.”

Jon snickers.

Breakfast is a lively affair. The French toast was only one portion, so Dami made pancakes and a fruit salad to accommodate Jon’s and his appetite. For the first time in weeks, Marinette can eat without one of her arms being commandeered by one of the twins. She knows things aren’t completely better. They need to talk about their relationship, their expectations, and relearn what it means to be together, all three of them plus two babies. But that particular conversation can wait a bit. For now, Marinette tells them about Asha’s curiosity and Scarlett’s boundless energy, about some of the weirdest things that happened during her pregnancy.

Things will work out. She’ll make sure of that.

[24-guy]

I spent 2 hours on writing notes from the prison podcast stream.

Now I don’t know what to do with them, so I’m putting them here. 

No need to read them, there is just some interesting stuff I noticed, things like tones and how many times somethings are brought up. 

if you do, though, I apologize  for spelling errors. 

start stream

techno "did the calculations" on how long it would take to mine obsidian with the amount of mining fatigue they had. we knoe this is true.

dream has been writing, it is the only thing hes been able to do with the limited items he has. its his "diary"

techno teases over fanfics on wattpad

"the only thing ive written is my diary" do the revive books not count, then? or what is in the revive books that isnt writing?

techno focuses on that nobody is watching - dream doesnt comment on it - dream doesnt know about the voices?

techno is supposed to break dream out, but he hasnt got many ideas "ill get to it later"

techno enjoys prison - sees it as a vacation

techno has an optimistic outlook.

go with the flow

dream sees harming himself as exhillerating techno disaprooves

dream tells techno quackity has been torturing him everyday. techno is only surprised by the every day part

dream mentions the revive book techno remembers being told about that asks "yeah you can bring people back from the dead. yeah so how do you do that" - curious tone, seems genuinely interested for innocent meanings dream responds " i have.. the knowledge and then i get a book and then i burn it" - hesitant at first, then vague but seemingly honest reponse

techno asks what the knowledge is, incantation/password/expelliarmus dream says "something like that" slowly, then quickly says he doesnt know and that he "doesnt know how schlatt had it" - going away from the topic original book - there are more than one it is a book is what youre saying - t well... i mean, it was a book that i memorised and that now i can recreate - d techno tries again to get the knowledge he wants to revive people dream doesnt want to tell techno because he wouldnt be the only one who knew techno tries to bargain saying that if dream died, techno coulld bring him bacl dream knows they wont kill him because he can revive people

dream says no, techno says "you forgot how to write it down didnt you dream says he didnt, that he did it recently, techno repeats again that dream forgot brings up wattpad again. dream says he wrote it down for tommy. he doesnt mention wilbur to techno. bring up the homeless situaation prison is dreams house cell is boiling apparently makes a joke about cali rent prices

nobody visited the cell "we stopped anarcy" "when we get out of here" no though ahead going into this situation (techno) "just as far as i need to" dream doesnt know what techno means by stream schedule, techno jokes about dream's lack of schedual techno usually trains always looking for new combat, reasearching constant arms race no idea when a government will arise or opressing people is always prepared has a good amount of gear he also plays golf somewhere offers a game with dream no way to describe it somewhere farther than his house

dream asks about tommy techno hasnt seen him canonically, only knows he stole acouple months ago - as far as he tells dream

dream asks about carl carl is doing well

dream asks about the family its doing good, apparently, new foxes, got steve who will break him out dream writes about steve "i will write evrrything down because its hard to remember" another fanfic joke

dream asks whos feeding them they feed themselves its probably fine

milld break for 4 wall break

gist or jist

prison podcast offers, agrees that is all this is

technical difficulties

podcast bros

eating potato

dream offers his thoughts on what would happen of he tried to revive somebody who is alive two technoblades human meat sheild

dream wants to try no death first what could go wrong nothing else to do

techno house is man vs nature conflict floor has ants floof brings ants spilled pet food dream has a revivebook techno tries to read it first hit with book a small wait throw into lava DreamXD joins broke the table fixed table a god dream "cloned himsef" god looks exactly like dream feels like a question to ask earlier dream summoned dreamxd ask for wish ask for bell dream gets mad because no escape dreamxd leaves sellout timer goes off techno makes money as dream questions his life dream sits in corner hole techno aims to be annoying we count channel members for a bit

dream and techno friend bonding time?

summons dreamxd for reviving nobody dream writes this in his diary as techno rings bell tries again, it doesnt work creative mode is a known thing by mortals they know how deadly it is

warden on vacation

techno hasnt written anything he has at least 4 books in his inventory, going from the top 2nd space to the top 5th space. the fourth book is called information and is signed by dream. dream throws a potato in the lava techno asks for the revive book again, this time to see of dreamxd will come back because it is a different person summoning him dream says no

techno needs a bell to sell out for the *brand*, ritual and tradition dream put the bell in church prime no twitch primes for dream - hes a heratic (no contract) dream makes no profit dream has lots of raw potatos for 5-6 months

techno asks if dream has any friends dream says not really, they turned against him techno knows the feeling being betrayed by closest friend happens every tuesday for techno

dream mentions being visited by a few people techno asks if any tried not to torture or kill him dream says yeah like he wasnt expecting the question/(as techno put it) "he hesitated"

sapnap - didnt torture or kill him - but he said if dream got out of there, then he would - techno says hes gotta raise his standards

bad - was the best - treated dream the best - techno says hes a cult leader - dream is surprised so techno tells him about the egg - techno wasnt clear - bad hasnt viseted since 4-5 months ago - techno says even he has friends - egg was attacked - big crossover episode not clear what is going on

techno - last time they saw each other was dooms day - been a while - lot has happened - techno doesnt now whats going on currently on the server - he knows nothing - "people" tell him who died and who came back

tubbo - asks about tubbo - tubbo is chillng - snowchester named - commune - a little sus - dictator - no rushing to conclusions - tubbo has nukes - big crater - a hoby - could be meteor

ranboo - asks about ranboo - ranboo is also chilling - brings up tubo's nukes now

dream points out that techno said he didnt know anyting and then said about a new place, nukes, and a lot more dream doesnt know anything - less than techno

ranboo (again) - dream says he used to visit a while ago and then stopped coming - techno asks "ranboo used to visit?" - ranboo visited "a bit" - probably visited the most - sapnap visited - tommy visited a couple of times - bad visited - and quackity - quackity visited the most, only because hes visited daily

more potatos pog potatos

ranboo (x3) - techno asks how dream knows ranboo - "um... its just a.. long story" - techno replies sarcastically about how they dont have any time to go through it, theyre so busy with the bell - dream "i dont know him very well. he just visited a few times and that was it." - techno just repeats alright, its either bored or thinking - dream "and then i havent seen him since then so thats why i was wondering where hes been, if hes been around" - techno " ah... im not sure. i havent been around fpr like the past couple of months, honestly."

techno went on  atraining montage, played golf

dream asks about the plan to get out mining fatigue 3 doesnt mean they cant break blocks, its just approximately 370 times longer breaking obsidian takes a bit over 4 minutes math = obsidian block gone in 25.7 hours. an alarm break in the right spot break block in toilet elder guardian below the cell techno can take him if techno somehow dies dream brings him back could be out in 2 weeks havent been visited for 2 weeks nothing to lose dream has to break obsidian techno wants to end stream techno came up with idea so dream has to do it dream starts bell ringing for cheerng him on techno sounds happy that dream is doing it voices are mentioned - theyre laughing techno has perfect track of time techno is gonna annoy dream the entire time techno is a lookout there are only 4 books we only see the 4th name floof interrupts momentarily tommy killed a cat because dream liked it 300 dogs in the cell joke

channel member bell dream regrets his life again techo's plan? bell was a better investment dream has 10 bells in e chest techno doesnt techno wanted to go for more so techno could ring bell again

end of stream

[maraleestuff]

Merlin fic idea

I'm a bit late to this, but I have an idea for a fix-it fanfic that I'll probably never get around to writing

(This idea is aimed at Morgana x Gwen / Merlin x Arthur shippers, but I'll try not to make it too ship themed if I can help it. Disclaimer: I'm writing it as it comes to me, so we'll see what happens)

So imagine:

Arthur survives after Merlin's magic is revealed. (Like maybe he summoned Kilgarrah earlier...)

Mordred and Morgana survive and get a huge redemption arc. (I don't really remember what happened with Mordred, but I think Merlin and Morgana fight one last time after Arthur is injured?)

- Maybe Morgana is able to be reached. There's still a small, good part of her -- only a fraction of who she was years ago, after years of the hate and the fear -- but it's there all the same. Perhaps Merlin reaches Mordred too, to the boy he knew, and all he can do is apologize, which isn't worth much -- but Mordred reaches out to Morgana. Not for Merlin, but because of Morgana, the kind woman he knew all that time ago.

- Morgana has just overpowered Merlin when Mordred reaches her. Reaches that warmth inside all that cold; reminds her of the good, of the briefest glimpse of her childhood before becoming Uther's ward -- before the nightmares, the terrible visions, and her magic --

- It's a distant memory. Hardly tangible. She hesitates on the killing blow to Merlin -- Emrys, her doom -- only briefly.

- Yet long enough for Arthur to promise that he will lift the ban on magic.

- Morgana laughs. It's broken, twisted; she knows how close to death that Arthur is. The promise was empty and hollow.

- But somehow Merlin convinces her. Promises he will do anything if Morgana will help save Arthur's life, even if it meant giving up his magic forever. (They were both born of magic, two sides of the same coin, sure his magic could be connected to Arthur as well?)

- Progress is slow, getting Arthur to the threshold of the Old Religion. And despite the uneasy truce of the three sorcerers, it was really difficult to ignore the years of trying to kill each other. Merlin can't sleep, not with either near a nearly unconscious Arthur. Morgana almost slits Merlin's throat when a twig snaps, and Merlin nearly threw Mordred across a river when he stepped too close to Arthur.

- As it turned out, Arthur was able to be healed the same way that Merlin's magic was restored. It took all of the magic that the trio had, leaving them almost unconscious; Merlin was shocked to wake and find Morgana and Mordred gone, and incredibly relieved to find Arthur alive, breathing, and only slightly irritated at Merlin.

--

Arthur and Merlin return to Camelot, a bit bruised and definitely different. But there is distance between them, noticed by everyone who knew of Arthur's bumbling but earnest and kind servant. (Merlin, despite not being officially relieved of his duties, spends most of his time helping Gaius treat those injured in battle. Strangely, though, once the shock passes, Arthur starts the ground work to lift the ban on magic.)

- As expected, there is disbelief. King Arthur, son of the Uther Pendragon, was suggesting leniency on the practice of sorcery?

- It takes many long sessions of listening to the complaints of Uther's major supporters, the fear and disbelief, before Arthur makes any progress in assuring his people that he wasn't enchanted or being impersonated in any way, and his people were not in danger at the mere mention of magic.

But finally, when the time is right, it's official: magic is no longer outlawed in Camelot. And Merlin, the unassuming, clumsy servant who was always at Arthur's side, was officially the Court Sorcerer/ Wizard/ Warlock of Camelot.

- Naturally, there are many reactions. Disbelief, laughter, anger, some fear, which Arthur is mostly able to stave off after some close calls to some unruly assassins.

- But Merlin is consulted on all magical matters, from concerned citizens to curious children to even aspiring wizards. He helps Arthur figure out the difficulties that came with allowing magic: the loopholes, the limits, and making sure the people abide by it. (Another long process.) Merlin also meets with the Druids often, sometimes with Arthur himself, to assure their safety, sanctuary and assistance. He often takes their council in magical matters, as well as Kilgarrah's, and even learns from them about the history and practices of magic.

- George becomes Arthur's official manservant, but he doesn't complain when Merlin swoops in because it's highly amusing how the servant gets under Merlin's skin. (Plus Merlin is a better servant -- and better company, which Arthur would never admit.) It also makes Merlin more attentive without him realizing it.

--

In the next year after magic is allowed, no one hears much of anything about Morgana or Mordred. There's disappearances of known witchhunters, but otherwise it's as if they disappeared.

- Fate eventually throws Arthur, Merlin, and his knights together with Morgana and Mordred. It's many adventures and many months before they even begin to trust each other. Even then the people of Camelot refuse to trust Morgana, Merlin and Arthur feel about the same, and they come calling for her head.

- It's Gwen, of all people, who stops the execution before it begins. She not naive, though, and would rather not see Morgana again if she didn't have to. But she knew for certain one thing: there had been enough death. Morgana has to live with what she has done and who she has become.

- No one's quite sure what to do with her, but Gwen spends many sleepless nights listening to Arthur just breathe. Morgana played a part in healing him, she knew, but she also played a part in his near death -- both are incredibly hard to ignore. Not to mention the torment Morgana had put her through.

- Drawn to the dungeon, Gwen stands before Morgana's cell. She's not even tempted to free her, even knowing she could do so -- whether leaving Morgana a fugitive or in exile. But Gwen only stares at the woman she used to serve, turned over in her cell, her hair falling back over her partly ratted dress. There were cuffs around her wrists, not to restrain her; they were enchanted to block her magic. It was a touch that no one could really argue with.

- Gwen remembers who she was all those years ago. Morgana, bravely defying Uther, or encouraging Arthur to follow his instincts. Herself quiet, the daughter of a blacksmith. Oh, what the years had brought. How they'd changed so much.

- It was after many of these nights that Morgana finally broke the silence, her voice rough. She demanded to know what Gwen wanted. Despite the time working with Arthur and Merlin (and then disappearing), Gwen hadn't seen much of her. She'd felt ill during Morgana's appeal, but had glimpsed Morgana when the guards took her to the main hall.

- Gwen couldn't bring herself to speak. Not right away. There was too much to say, and she didn't even know if she wanted to try. But after time, she managed.

- Morgana told her that, after leaving Arthur and Merlin, she and Mordred took shelter near the edges of Camelot. She didn't bother killing Merlin or Arthur because she was barely awake when Mordred carried her away. They took shelter in a small, nameless village. Eventually they heard word that magic was allowed in Camelot, from a group of rogue Druids who refused to follow Arthur's rule -- they were afraid of the moment Arthur followed in his father's footsteps.

- They decided to stay with them. The group traveled around the kingdoms, hunting those who had hunted them. In the meantime, Morgana decided what she wanted -- whether she would try to get the throne from Arthur or not. In the end she had been captured while tracking a witchhunter -- one that Arthur and Merlin were trying to protect Camelot's people from. It was Percival who had insisted on bringing her in.

--

Gwen and Morgana slowly make their way into tentative friendship. It's more at the surface at first, and both refuse to let their guard down. But feelings surface in Gwen -- old and new -- which had been pushed down.

Arthur and Merlin also grow closer. It's inevitable with nearly rebuilding Camelot as they know it.

Everyone's in denial. Especially with obvious complications.

--

I'm not really sure where this ends with their relationships. But here's the ideas that I got:

A) Arthur and Merlin "leave" Camelot to live together in Ealdor. Merlin trains a promising apprentice to be the new Court Sorcerer, but is often bombarded for advice through letters or visitors. At the same time, Gwen (rule was turned over to her) and Morgana marry and rule over Camelot together. (I have no idea if it would happen or how, but everyone's gay and happy. Also Gwaine and Lancelot are alive.)

B) Sort of the same, but Arthur and Merlin rule over Camelot while Gwen and Morgana go to live with the Druid nomads.

--

Tl;dr: Everyone lives (ideally), and magic is no longer outlawed.

Note: I'm aware that realistically it would be a lot for anyone, especially Gwen, to trust Morgana again after all she's done. There would be a lot of trial and error, and as much as I love the ship, it couldn't just happen after canon.

As for Murther, they're both pretty much a package deal at this point. Although there would be a lot of Merlin explaining their adventures further, without Arthur at death's door, they'd be even closer through the thick of it. Whether or not they end up romantically involved.

There's a lot I probably didn't think of, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Feel free to add on if ya like!! :)

(Also I dont know how to spell Gwen's full name, or the Morgana x Gwen ship name. So.)

[tidsoptlmist]

It’s a Boy-Girl Thing - E.D.

Authors note: I’M BACK! for those who care: my holiday was sO MUCH FUN OH MY GOD!! I had the bEST time!!! sadly school has started again and i’m drowning in homework again!!! 

disclaimer 1: over these past few weeks I’ve received so many asks about whether or not I was still gonna update this: the answer is YES!

I hate the feeling of letting you all wait or maybe letting you down when i’m not posting as often as i (and you) would want me to. 

the things is that (and this might come as a shocker) actually do have a life outside of tumblr. I’m in my senior year of high school and I trying to get good grades, so I can get into a good university next year...

I do love writing this and I am so excited to continue writing this story (and more!!) and I will not stop until this story is finished!!! I promise ahha!! I see those messages as a compliment (bc apparently you all like this very much and want to read more) but sometimes they make me feel a little bad/stressed because i feel like I’m let you all down... so yea..... I hope you all understand! 

(what im trying to say is that i dont really mind those asks but at the same time it won't help asking bc YES i will be updating: but only when I’m able to...) (which will be regularly again next week!!!!) (promise)

disclaimer 2: this wasn't proofread so my apologies for any (loads of) spelling/grammar error!!!!! im a dyslectic assclown who cant spell to safe their own life so yea... just a lil heads up

Part 9 一 ANIMOSITY

Summary: Ethan and Y/N are neighbors. And although Y/N is on good terms with Ethan’s twin brother Grayson, Y/N and Ethan loathe each other and are constantly in dispute. Ethan is a populair varsity football player, who likes to be in the spotlight. Y/N prefers to stay under the radar, while reading books and poetry.

Although the constant bickering between the two drives everyone around them crazy - the two live their separate lives peacefully. At least that’s how it was until they wake up one morning and every had changed…

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10

You liked sports. You honestly liked being active. But not in late summer, when it was hot like an oven outside and the air humid.

You could feel the sweat dripping down your back, your shirt completely drenched. Your heart beat banging in your head and your legs shaking. You squint your eyes against the intense sunset.

Ethan had made you run around the field all afternoon. He had made you run laps, do pushups, situps and all different sorts of exercises which names you had forgotten right after Ethan said you could stop doing them. After finishing you had dropped yourself next to Ethan on the grass: completely worn out.

‘What are you doing?’ Ethan had asked.

‘I’m taking a break. Actually, not even a break: I’m done! I think if I continue I might get a heart attack or something,’ you breath still went rapidly.

Ethan just laughed while grabbing a water bottle from the cooler he had taken with him. ‘What are you on about? This was the warming up!’ He threw a cold bottle of water next to you in the grass. Your hands quickly opened it and you gulped down half of the bottle before glaring at Ethan.

‘I’m definitely warm…’ You mumbled annoyed.

Slowly you had gotten up from the grass and Ethan had made you catch footballs for an hour. The sun was now setting and your whole body ached. You fell onto the bench at the side of the field.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave this bench. I can’t carry your body anymore Eth,’ you sighed and wiped your forehead with his shirt. It didn’t help much: your shirt was completely soak. Ethan stood in front of you, grinning. Silently you watched the sunset behind the hills.

‘Let’s go home,’ you said, getting up. You grabbed your bag and looked at Ethan. He was still smiling at you. ‘I thought you said “you were never gonna be able to get off that bench”,’ he chucked at you. You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face.

‘We really need to head home though. Grayson said something about a party this morning and I think he really wants to go,’ you say as you walk towards the parking lot where Ethan had parked your car earlier.

‘Who’s hosting the party?’ Ethan asked you, eyeing your in a curious manner.

‘Austin, I think…’ You say, trying to remember what Grayson had said this morning. ‘He said Austin invited you both. And that it would be a big party. Apparently his parents are out of town.’

‘You should go,’ Ethan says, as he opens the trunk. You put the footballs and bottles of water and other training gear in the trunk.

‘I don’t want to go,’ you say in all honesty. Ethan rolls his eyes as he closes the trunk again.

‘Grayson and I never go somewhere alone-’

‘Yea, that’s kinda weird: you two should try to being more independent,’ you cut him off. Ethan eyes you angrily - irritated that you cut him off, but ignores your comment.

‘Like I said, before you cut me off: we never go somewhere alone. If Grayson wants to go: you go with him,’ Ethan says as he walks towards the driver seat. You walk towards passengers seat and get into your car.

‘I don’t like those kind of parties! What do you want me to do while I’m there?! Also; this could only go wrong. Someone will definitely notice something’s off!’ You tell him, trying to convince him why you shouldn’t go to Austin’s party.

‘You can try talking to some girls?’ Ethan suggests chuckeling, but quickly comes back from his idea: ‘Wait, no! Don’t talk to girls! You’ll for sure embarrass me!’

You glare at him. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Y/N, you might have a 4.0 on your GPA but you definitely don’t have a 4.0 in flirting,’ Ethan laughs at his own joke.

‘I’m not that bad….’ You say softly.

‘You know what, I’ll go to the party as well. That way I can keep an eye on you so you don’t embarrass me too much.’ Ethan says. You give him another glare. Annoyed how he won’t trust you.

The field wasn’t far from your home. Ethan parked in front of the Dolan house and you got out of the car.

‘Do you need to pick an outfit for tonight too - or do you trust me to pick one out myself without embarrassing you?’ You snarled at him. Ethan looked unimpressed by your remark.

‘Nah, you’re good,’ he simply said, pushing a strand of your long hair out of his face. In the days that he had been trapped in your body, he had only wore your hair down. It was now that you relised it was probably because he didn’t know how to tie a ponytail with long hair. You huffed and walked towards the trunk where you got the footballs and other training gear.

You walked towards the Dolan house without saying goodbye to Ethan. You dumped the training gear in the garage and walked immediately upstairs. You grabbed a clean pair of undrwear and some basketball shorts and walked towards the shower.

You took a quick shower - the same way you did that morning. This time the towel didn’t drop and you got the underwear on in one go. You stood infront of Ethan’s side of the sink and sprayed on some cologne. You closed your eyes as you inhaled the scent: it was smelled very good.

You walked out of the bathroom and layed down on Ethan’s bed. The party wouldn’t start till 9:30 - so you had a good three hours to kill.

Before you really could think of something to do, Grayson barched into the room. These boys left eachother no privacy did they?!

‘E,’ he exclaimed as he jumbed on the bed next to you, ‘wanna play some video games?’

And before you knew it, you were walking towards Grayson’s room. It was practially the same as Ethan - but with different colored bedsheets and instead of a poster of a motercycle there was a poster of old looking car. You recognised Grayson’s Ford Bronco - altough the one on the poster was red in color. Grayson turned the PlayStation on and handed you a controller.

‘Dude!!’ Grayson yelled at you. You stared at the screen. “YOU DIED” it read in thic red letters.

‘I swear I shot them first! I don’t know how I died?!’ You said annoyed.

‘Why are you so bad at this game?! Did you lose all your skills while haning out with Y/N today or something?!’ Grayson said jokingly, although he stilled looked a little annoyed at you for losing.

‘No,’ you mumbed while restarting the game. Playing video games was more fun then you innitionally thought it would be. Grayson was good company too, chatting away about his day.

‘How is Y/N doing?’ Grayson asks suddenly. You huff, concentrating on the game, ‘she’s good.’

Grayson falls back on the bed, starring at the ceiling, ‘she looks good.’

His comment makes you forget the game and within a second the red letters spelling out “YOU LOST” fill the tv screen again.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You ask Grayson, confused. Grayson gives you a ‘like you don’t know what I’m talking about’-look. You gave him the ‘I-really-don’t-have-a-fucking-clue-what-you’re-talking-about-so-tell-me-now’-kind of look.

‘You said it yourself E: she has a good ass!’

You look at him in shock. It was weird hearing Grayson making comments about your ass - well just any ass - without getting red and flushed.

‘I never said that!’ Ethan would never say something like that about you!

‘Yea you did, like three days ago,’ Grayson says while taking the controller from you hands. ‘But don’t worry, I won’t tell Sophia tonight.’ He chuckles at his own joke. He walked towards the PlayStation and turns it off.

‘Is she gonna be there too?’ You mentally roll your eyes. Your energy level for this party just dropped to minus 6.

‘Yea, so let’s have some diner and get ready for this party,’ Grayson says as he walks out of his room. When he’s halfway down the stairs you hear him laugh and say:

‘and don’t forget to bring protection! We don’t want any surprises in 9 months!’

thank you for reading!! leave a comment if you feel like it!! 

please read the DISCLAIMER at the top!!

also: 

- i wrote a short grayson imagine but its not that good should i still post it???

- do you guys want me to make a master list? if so: let me know!! my ask

TAGS : @asapethan , @gabrielle-stark & @coconutethan here you go babes!!

[fictional-scenarios]

Oooooooooo could you write a sequel to Kuroo angst you poster recently??????

sure thing! -mod cassie

It took nearly two weeks for you to look at him, and about a month for you to start answering his texts. Though Kuroo knew exactly what he did and how it affected you, some other apathetic part of him felt as though you were drawing out a needless punishment. Sometimes in the later hours of the night he’d find himself entirely pissed off for how guilty you were making him feel, fingers itching to send you that mile long text that would start in a ‘sorry’ and end in a ‘grow up’. However once those nights passed and he saw you wandering to your class that anger would shrivel and beneath it that same regret would resurface, his pride once again making a show and urging him to turn the opposite direction.

The first time you finally gave him a half wave when he walked into the building his heart nearly flipped. It was just a wave and a half hearted one at that, but you were acknowledging him at least. He’d wave back in earnest and sometimes would even directly say ‘good morning’ but usually you never replied to them. When you finally came around and do did he, he had to bite back apologizing over and over again, fearful he’d scare you off. Instead he just waved to you whenever he could or offered a friendly smile whenever his hands were full, grateful you’ve return the gesture.

When you never answered his pathetic apology, he’d send you one about three days later, a stupid ‘hey, you alright?’ Unsurprisingly you didn’t answer that one either. So, when you finally did, he felt like he’d double over in his seat. Though the night was over and he was just getting ready to get up from studying and head to bed, he still felt his throat go dry at his phone lighting up, your name displaying over the screen.

‘hey’

He was so fast to respond it amazed him that he didn’t make any spelling errors, not that he’d checked at all when he hit send and then made his way under the covers. 

‘hey’

Your name lit up again, his phone vibrating and his breath leaving him.

‘do you have time to talk’

He almost replied with ‘anything for you’ but instead sent a simple, ‘yeah, sure, whats up’. He felt horrible in acting as though he had no idea what was going on, like he totally wasn’t expecting you to already be chewing his ass out for being such a hardass to you back after the game.

It took you a few moments to answer and in those long minutes Kuroo’s anxiety grew with every second. 

‘i just wanted to say i was sorry for ignoring you these past few weeks. i wish i had an excuse but i dont’

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Sure in the times where he’d get angry at you he’d imagine you apologizing but actually seeing it in front of his eyes made him feel even worse than before. He’d exploded on you for just trying to help, and even after that he was just as much in the wrong (if not more) for not manning up and apologizing right away. Instead he chose to give you the silent treatment as well.

‘it’s fine, really. im sorry too for being a dick and for saying all those things to you. i dont have an excuse either, i just hope you can forgive me’

Sometimes Kuroo wished he could sound more genuine as he read his reply, feeling like he was speaking way too casually to sound like he was as sorry as he was. He was afraid you would think he was just talking out of his ass, like he didn’t actually give a damn about how you felt and was just going with it. When you replied he was almost scared the only thing you’d had sent would be a big, fat, ‘no’, but it wasn’t.

‘i forgive you.’ 

Even though it was late and his mind felt fried from all the practice and studying, he still leaned his head back against the pillow, phone clutched to his chest while he grinned. A weight had been lifted off his shoulder and though he knew these messages wouldn’t solve everything it was the most relieving thing to see those words. You forgave him. As he brought his phone up to his face, squinting at the brightness, he smiled all over again and sighed at your answer before sending his own.

‘thank you, ___, seriously. that means a lot to me even if it doesn’t seem like it.’

His room was dark save for his screen illuminating, but he’d never felt so content in his whole life. He still had some guilt clinging to his shoulder, eating away at him slowly, but for the moment he truly felt like you two could finally start getting somewhere again. The fear of potentially ruining any chance of being with you greatly damaged a lot of Kuroo’s persona, so much so that even his teammates asked him occasionally if he was feeling alright. That ‘fateful’ night replayed in his mind over and over again, his head creating alternate pathways on what he could have, or should have, taken and where they could have led him. 

‘im glad it does. i miss you a lot tbh’

You sounded just as casual as he did and maybe that wasn’t a bad thing, since it made talking a lot easier than just spilling emotions and crying out ‘im sorry’s every few seconds. Kuroo stared at the ceiling, closing his tired eyes and smiling again.

‘i missed you too’

A few more minutes passed after his reply and you still hadn’t answered, and for some ungodly reason Kuroo feared he may have made things awkward, and once again he almost dreaded reading your message when his phone alerted him.

‘hey i know we havnt talked in awhile but do you maybe want to hang out sometime this week? if u dont wanna thats find i just think it would nice to catch up or something idk’

He actually laughed quietly, head tipping back again after reading your question. Even though the circumstances were less than desirable it was cute to him, and he was still smiling as he answered back.

‘that sound awesome, where do you wanna go?’

‘hows that one place by the corner store sound? i heard its good’

‘it sucks’

‘oh haha, how about that one we used to go to together a lot? i cant remember the name either oops’

Kuroo licked at his lips, remembering how often you two would eat out after he was out from practice. He didn’t like it too much but when you were there with him, it was his favorite. 

‘sounds great. we can catch up on stuff cant we?’

‘yeah’ 

You sent another right after.

‘like i said i really missed you. sorry ive been so mean :(’

His heart fluttered again as he typed away, hesitating before sending. 

‘its fine, really, i was the jerk. im just glad we’re talking again, and im also happy to be revisiting our place again. eating at our place is way more fun isnt it?’

‘haha, our place sounds about right.’

It felt good to be saying ‘our place’, it made him feel like you two were right back to being the close knit friends you always were, even if a lot of it was spent on him pining for you and wishing you felt the same way.

‘so its a date then?’

Kuroo nearly choked when he read your message, heart doing flips as he sat up and re-read your text to make sure he wasnt mistaking it on accident.

‘a date?’ He sent, hands nearly shaking. He definitely hadn’t misread your text, but it felt too good to be true. 

‘oh sorry, would you rather it not be? ig that makes sense given we havnt been talking… we can just hang out haha’

‘NO a date is fine. thats even better than just hanging out.” His entire body felt weightless, nearly feeling like he had whiplash from your sudden question and how lucky he had gotten. He was excited to be just conversing with you again but going on a date? Finally doing something he’d been dreaming of? Again, the context was less than desirable but he still beamed at the chance. 

‘alrighty then, i cant wait! ill see you at school tomorrow right kuroo? at our spot?’

Your spot being the tree a little outside the gates of school, the place where you’d met because he bumped into you while not paying attention since he was too busy harassing Kenma on not making too many friends despite it only being the first week of highschool. You were prepared to be hit and almost fell over, and would have hit the dirt if he hadn’t managed to grab onto your arm. It hurt and left a bruise but after that day you two became pretty close.

‘yeah, our spot.’

‘get some rest then, see you tomorrow (:!”

He sighed in delight, imaging seeing you tomorrow and thinking of all the things he could say to you. 

‘see you tomorrow, ___.’

Kuroo clicked his phone off when you didn’t answer back, probably heading to sleep with the same butterflies in your stomach. He wanted to feel mature and cool, but he couldn’t stop himself from flipping on his side and holding a pillow tight in his arms, body wrapping around it while he grinned into the plushness. 

Once again those scenarios started racing in his head but they weren’t an offspring of regret and what he could have done. Now, it was excitement, the things that he could and would do when he saw you the next morning.