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distant-screaming · 2 years ago

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okay I have to know more about the tinngun wlw au but I can’t think of what yet so I’m thinking as I type, apologies if this is the most incoherent thing you’ve ever read

tinngun they are women they are lesbians you said there are slight changes in the ways they treat each other and stuff or something like that bc there’s society against them now which sucks but anyway what was I saying uhhhhhhhhhhhhh rIGHT

can you give some specific scenarios that are either new or changed? like the pool scenes, or if there’s any differences with the scenes in gun’s mum’s milk cafe?

ALSO from some of the things Astro said about their art (WHICH WAS FREAKING INCREDIBLE BTW) I’ve gathered that gun is more gender non conforming, less feminine and stuff? So I was wondering, what brought you guys to that conclusion, and also could you elaborate more on how her character changes at all? What kinds of clothes does she wear? Does her personality change at all? Is she suddenly more fierce and has to stand up for herself a lot because she doesn’t “look like a girl” and because she’s the only girl in the band and because she’s a lesbian? Does she break/bend rules as often as canon!gun? Or does she try to keep a low profile because she already gets a lot of stares and whispers for being who she is?

sorry I think I love this au too much but pls tell me everything you possibly can about it bc I just need more of it fjfjfjfjrjfirj

AJFSKFKFK THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK we will literally take any excuse possible to talk about the au <3

Bee (@transpran) and I had so much fun answering these, we ended up rambling a bit more than was probably necessary. I'm not gonna apologize though. They're lesbians, come on.

some specific scenarios that are either new or changed?

Dee (that's me!): In terms of specific scenarios that change, pretty much most of the scenes change at least a little bit - but I don't want to give too much away, because I'm working on a couple drabbles that explore some scenes! Please look forward to that :)

What brought you guys to [Gun as more gnc], and does her character change at all?

Bee: as far as gun being gender nonconforming, i think she grew up naturally into it from being around so many boys, obviously that doesn't happen to every girl who has mostly dude friends but it does tend to be more common among them. especially with being the leader of an otherwise all-boys band, i think as a result she developed into someone who's fierce when she needs to be and able to play around easily (boys are ROWDY at that age generally), someone who can blend in and be "one of the boys." and i do think she enjoys her life that way; i don't think gun consciously cares much about gender at all. but what happens when she meets tinn is that she realizes what she likes about her, and some of it is focused on their differences, on tinn's careful femininity, her gentleness, her lack of a temper (with a few exceptions, as we know). and she admires all that a great deal. part of the differences in the story would be, i think, about gun seeing all that and wondering if she's doing it wrong herself, if not caring about her gender has been mostly just out of convenience so she wouldn't have to think about hard questions, etc. and how she comes out on the other side loving herself as she is and understanding herself more, and that the beauty of being a woman, or anybody, is the power of choosing who you are regardless of what's expected of you by society.

Dee: pretty much all of that! Plus, I think Gun has always been allowed to express herself however she wants (by her parents, Chinzhilla) so she's never really had to like, come up with reasons for anything. She just is! She also has to unpack a little bit of 'do I like this about Tinn or do I want [gender thing] for myself' which is, I think, a common question that often pops up for queer people (or at least it seems to do so for me ajdkd). In terms of character changes, I think one of us said at some point that girl!Gun is more of a 'crunchy' character. Even from a very basic perspective - Fourth's face is very prominent and strong, which, while considered attractive on a guy, could make for a girl!Gun who is often considered rude or grumpy - which can lead to some very interesting changes in the character and choices girl!Gun would make in comparison to canon!Gun.

What kind of clothes does she wear?

Dee: I think Gun is a lot more varied in terms of patterns and style because she'd get more freedom to explore clothes in the first place, but it would end up being pretty similar to canon!Gun's outfits anyway. She also wears more jackets and hoodies as a way to cover up more thoroughly.

Bee: clotheswise, i don't think gun's outfits would change much from original gun. maybe they'd be more form fitting if she doesn't outright shop at the boy's section, but the general vibe would be the same. i think she'd also enjoy loose crop tops on top of sports bras though, and similar stuff.

Does she break/bend rules as often as canon!gun?

Bee: rulebreaking: i think part of gun and friends being outcasts is the rulebreaking and the being bad at studying and school thing. so if anything she'd double down on it. gun has been shown to be very much a "i'll be exactly what they expect of me, and then i'll prove them all wrong" kind of character, if that makes any sense, and girl!gun pretty much has to pick between behaving and not - straddling the line is more dangerous for her cause it could ruin her future and reputation no matter what she did. so she either does what society expects, or says to hell with it with all her chest. we know what she'd choose.

Dee: something else I think is an aspect of Gun's character is that she's very used to center stage. She's been singing and performing since very little, and she enjoys it, so I think she's pretty oblivious to some of the attention she attracts. Obviously she's not wholly unaware, but still. Also, in some ways, I think Gun is even more likely to bend rules because she's so used to having to loophole her way into certain spaces and having to command the room to gain the same respect her male friends seem to get. Girl!Gun is more likely to play with technicalities because it's what she's had to do for ages. Also, she gains a bit of a fan club due to her brazen nature, especially younger queer kids (though this doesn't click for her until much, much later).

Thank you again for your questions! Feel free to ask more, we're both super normal about this au, promise! <- blatant lie

#I genuinely did not expect the answers to be this long HELP #wlw tinngun au #quodekash beloved #msp #my school president series #tinngun #guntinn #distant screaming screams into the void

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wickedpact · 4 years ago

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A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

#tales through time spoilers #obviously #long post #seriously dont open that read more unless youre committed to scrolling past all these Words

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primordialsquirrel · 4 years ago

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Tenya Iida with a Princess S/O

You first meet him as a page

Tenya Iida was the second son of a family of nobles. There was no doubt that he would have a bright future ahead of him. You were the crown princess of the land, your brother instead opting to travel as an ambassador. This meant it was up to you to greet each of the noble families closest to the crown.

Bunching the fabric of your skirts in your hands, you wend your way down the spiralling staircase to the main foyer, your ladies in waiting trailing after you with varying levels of excitement. Today you got to meet the noble families of Florrum! It was scary, but it was also a little exciting. After your brother passed the crown to you, it was now your responsibility to make the people love you. A scary thought, but you were ready for it.

“Ooh this is so fun! I hear the Iidas’s and the Eijiro’s are coming today!” Your best friend and lady in waiting Ochako Uraraka squeals from behind you. “The Todoroki’s are already here too! Shoto was kinda cute don't you think?”

“She knows that silly.” Momo Yaoyorozu chides, pulling Uraraka slightly in order to fix a stray strand of hair out of place. While she didn't speak it, she used the excuse of managing Uraraka's hair to avoid speaking about the young white and red haired noble. "We just met them yesterday.”

You pause your trek down and pull the two girls to hide behind the banister as your father’s voice echoes in the room. Four voices accompanied his own, two of which you didn't recognize. Those must have been the Iida's. The third was a boy who had accompanied Shoto Todoroki, his name was Izuku. So either the fourth was Shoto, or it was the youngest Iida son.

Peeking around the corner, you scan the group of adults before looking at the younger boys following them. It was indeed Izuku Midoriya, and a boy who looked much like the eldest Iida.

His eyes flash to yours upon noticing the three of you crouched like spies. Immediately he rushes to his father’s side, grabbing his hand and chopping the air in your direction with vigor. “There are three strange girls over there!”

With an embarrassed queal, you duck further down and use the top layer of tulle fabric to cover your face. On the other hand, your ladies in waiting stand up to get a better look of the boy.

“So that's Tenya?” Ochako questions while nudging your arm. “He looks kinda serious.”

“ ‘Raka it is not polite to call strangers by their first names.” Yaoyorozu helps you up despite your tremblings. “Come on, my lady, let’s see him.”

He was overbearingly polite, but it was sweet

Standing in front of Tenya Iida you bulster up the courage to look him in the eye after being dragged by your friends to approach him. It wasn't queenly at all, and now you missed your elder brother more than ever. He was good with greeting people. This was still new to you.

The boy bows a perfect right angle, nearly flinging the glasses off of his face. You wouldn't be surprised if they weren't his first pair to go flying. “My apologies Princess! My name is Tenya Iida, from the prominent Iida family! It is an honor to meet you!”

His father smiled crookedly behind you, looking at his son and back to you. He bows his head. “Princess, it is a pleasure to meet the future queen.”

Glancing back at your friends for strength you curtsy to the men in front of you, grateful your hair was blocking their view of your flushed cheeks. “Likewise. I hope you enjoy your stay here. My staff are ready to cater to your every need.” Was there something else you needed to do? Was there a piece of etiquette you were missing? There had to be, why would the young Iida still be bent at the knee if you did say the right words?

Your question is answered as the elder Iida taps his son on the shoulder. “That will be enough Tenya.”

The boy straightens immediately, his face pink with sheepishness. “Right!”

Looking him in the eyes, a smile creeps its way onto your face.

He was cute.

“Pardon me Tenya Iida-”

“Yes princess!”

“Would you like to join my friends and I for a game?”

He looks put off, but soon a look of excitement replaces it.

“I would!”

Now friends, Tenya stayed at the castle to become a squire, and became somewhat of a guard

He was now a decent acquaintance, someone you enjoyed being around. Surprisingly he grew to like your little touches and was accustomed to how you would cling to him when you were afraid. It was endearing. But unfortunately it didn't last after your quirk finally presented itself.

Now at age 14, you couldn't see yourself without your friend by your side. Iida had fully integrated himself into your clique of ladies in waiting and squires. Your shyness seemed like it was finally out of your system, allowing you to bloom and show your potential as Crown Princess!

Walking in the market place with Tenya by your side, you greet the people by name, having jotted down notes ages ago to help remember the faces of your kingdom.

“Isn't this wonderful?” You question your friend as you examine a dressmakers shop, peering in through the window before the scent of honey bread pulls you away to the bakery. “Everyone is so lively and peaceful. After the contract with the Todoroki’s, everything has been tranquil.”

Tenya hums in agreement, his eyes glued on the dress you were staring at moments before. He moves along with you after you give his hand a small tug.

The hand holding was a small rule of yours- of his. Ever since he lost track of you in a market place at the age of 8, he vowed to hold onto you whenever you two went out. He didn't want to risk losing the future queen. And his best friend.

Suddenly you feel a warmth course through your body. In an instant you jerk your hand away from his and use it to. stable yourself by holding onto the table behind you.

The baker screams. “Look at what you've done!”

“Princess!” Tenya reaches out to you before halting, looking at something on the ground.

In fear, you look at yourself, wondering if something had spilled onto your clothes, but there was nothing there. Next, you check your arms. It is from your arms that you realize what has happened.

Your quirk, after years of waiting, had finally shown itself.

What used to be a simple wooden table with baskets of bread on top, was now solid gold. The metal had already begun creeping down to the ground beneath you and up your arms and legs.

You screech and back away, scared to touch anything else around you.

The townsfolk watch in amazement as the creeping gold stops in its tracks, slowly pooling back to the table where it stayed there.

“Princess-” Tenya attempts to reach out for you only to be waved away. Your heart was beating out of your chest, gold hued tears spilling from your eyes. “Please- don't touch me- I don't want to hurt you.”

Slowly clenching his now empty hand into a fist, he nods. “Lets get you to the castle.” Removing his cloak, he drapes it over your shoulders and guides you back to the castle.

He doesn't touch you.

Your quirk was dubbed the golden touch, a blessing and a curse

Once news spread about your ability to turn normal objects into pure gold, you become the most highly sought royal of the nine kingdoms. This meant you would need even more guards than ever. It was not at all an ideal situation for you, as your parents now were questioning whether finding a suitor with a strong quirk would be better than simply hiring arms.

You fought against it, not wanting your life to be dictated by a quirk you didn't want. For 14 years you were quirkless, for 14 years you were happy, why now did it choose now to ruin that happiness?

Learning that Tenya was a potential knight of your personal guard left you winded.. Or in your case, glowing

Now at the age of 18, often hiding away from the public and sometimes even your own friends, in fear that your emotions would stir up trouble, you are met with a letter that could potentially change the course of your life. Possibly.. if you could convince your parents. See, you were the Crown Princess, the future Queen. Queens weren't supposed to fawn over their knight.. but maybe you could be the exception?

Tugging open the heavy wooden doors of your room you walk across the lounge area to the staircase leading up the turret. It was from the turret where you sat at the balcony and watched the world from above. You didn't have much say in the matter on when you could leave the castle now that every thief and king knew of your quirk, but this balcony did offer some reprieve from your loneliness.

“Don't get too close to the railing princess, we've already replaces it twice now.” A familiar groggy tone says from beneath you. You look into the tired eyes of the Captain of the Guard, Aizawa Shota. His scarf was partially bound around his fists as he pulled several of the knight trainees closer to him. “Turn it to gold again and you'll be signaling to every mercenary in the land which room you are in.”

With a sigh you step back and adjust your elbow length gloves to keep your skin from touching the metal bars. “I understand.”

He mumbles under his breath before turning his attention back to the recruits in front of him. There was around twenty in total, some you recognized from your old travels in the town outside of the castle. But there was one that caught your attention and held on tight.

Tenya Iida.

The same rush of warmth hits you as you run back into your room, holding the wall as you spiral downstairs. Unbeknownst to you, your golden touch seeped right through the gloves, turning the turret walls and steps pure gold. Only when you were in your room pacing back and forth with cheeks as red as a rose did you see the mess you had made. Nearly everything you came in contact with was gold, even your hands.

Looking into a mirror, you whisper in horror as gold flecks spread up your neck like an expensive collar. “Why is this happening?”

Always the gentleman, Tenya came to your aid

“Princess?” A knock resonates through the room. “I saw you earlier- I don't mean to intrude but it would be dishonorable of me to leave a girl to cry alone!”

You pull the door open slightly, peering up at him with wet eyelashes and a pink nose. “You saw me cry?”

He halts his prepared speech, his mouth open as he tries to come up with the right words.

“You.. You looked distressed. So I assumed..”

“You assumed I was going to cry.” You wipe your eyes, a teasing smile on your face. “That’s rather bold of you Sir Iida.”

“I-I-” He bows his head, “I apologize for my bluntness!”

He definitely had potential as a warrior, but you were also focused on something else

You had to admit, as you both grew older, you were more than twitterpated He was charming and bluntly honest, unlike the suitors you were presented with that would leave you in tears of frustration. Did you need to lower your standards in order to make your family happy? You didn't think so. And beyond that, Tenya was a knight, one who came from a noble family. His pedigree wasn't important to you, but it would definitely help in getting your parents approval.

Observing the trainees from above, you take deep and slow breathes to keep your heart beat steady. With a few months of testing your quirk, you've realized it was emotional based. Rather than golden touch, it was more of a golden aura. It reacted with you.

But it was difficult to keep your heart at ease when Tenya Iida came into the picture.

Your heart skips a beat when the sound of his laughter raises to your turret. He was with Midoriya and Ochako, your lady in waiting most definitely there to keep her sights on the green haired knight. How you wished you could join them. Laughing with them. Talking like you had before.

Tenya looks up at you from his spot below. He didn't have his glasses on, and his hair was slicked back to keep out of his eyes after his long training session with Aizawa. He smiles and waves. “Good evening Princess! How about joining us today? I can assure your safety.”

The tiles underneath you turn a rose gold as your heart stops.

Could you join him?

Aizawa was the best wingman you could hope for

By some heavenly fortune, the Captain of the Guard saw your struggle and stepped in. Why he did it? He said nothing. Maybe it was because he could smell the desperation rolling of the two of you and grew tired of it.

“Just get down here Princess, I’m going to be here the whole time.” Aizawa motions you down. “If you don't join us he won't focus, and that will cost the head of whoever he spars with.”

The blood flushes from the face of a blonde knight looking extremely uncomfortable at the prospect of sparring with the young Iida.

“Ah- Okay, I'll be down soon.” You catch a glimpse of Uraraka giving you a thumbs up, missing the way Tenya watches you with a look of excitement mixed with dread.

Of course he wanted you to join him and your other friends, but.. He hadn't been as close to you ever since your quirk presented, what if he stumbled or messed up while you were watching? Would you think less of him? Would you kick him off of your guard? Would you be ashamed of being his friend? Or were you no longer friends?!

His engines begin to smoke as he panics, his face blank though his mind was running a mile a minute.

Damn your shyness!

Taking the stairs two at a time, you scramble to your vanity to check your hair and add small touch-ups of makeup before launching yourself out of the room. You barely remember to inform the guards at your door of where you were headed before continuing your journey to the training grounds.

What did you do to deserve such a perfect vantage point to watch them? To have the opportunity to see your knights train? Or rather, to see Tenya, a boy who for the years you've known him, refused to train in front of you.

And now not only was he inviting you to watch, but even the Captain of the guard agreed to it!

Finally at the front doors of the castle, you brush the tulle layers of your dress and do a once over. Everything was in place, and you had no spots of gold to rat out the thrumming heart in your chest. You looked fine!

Taking the left path to reach the training grounds, you can’t help but pick up the scent of smoke. It was odd, but you knew where the smell was coming from. It had to be Iida. He was the only one with a quirk that gave off the smell of smoking fruit. An odd combination, but you were used to it after all the times he short circuited as a child by bump in trees.

What was he stressed out about?

Thats what you would ask when you found him, but instead, he found you.

Turns out he was just as shy as you

Iida had spent a good five minutes pacing in a circle, pressing the fine grass into odd circles. He wasn't ready! He was definitely not ready for you to see him! You were his princess, someone he held in the highest regard, and someone he wanted to protect. Ever since he met you and discovered what kind of person you were, he vowed to become a knight so you could rely on him. You were infinitely precious to him, and so he worked hard every day so he could protect your smile.

“Aizawa Sensei-” His engines were roaring to life, and he couldn't help but run. Where he was running to? He didn't know. But before his captain could order him back he was already running around the side of the castle to reach the front doors. He assumed you would get to the grounds by the side doors, but life had it out for him as he bumped into you and took a tumble to the ground.

Your golden aura was your second best wingman

When words failed to work, your quirk led the way. It was emotionally activated after all.

Iida’s eyes are as wide as dinner plates as he sees you laying underneath him, excuses were sticking to his tongue, unable to come out as he processed the vulgar situation.

Which, wasn't as vulgar as he saw it. You were laying on the grass next to him, half underneath him as he used an arm to prop himself up in order to keep from crushing you.

“Ah-!” He sits up swiftly, bowing until his head was pressed flat against the grassy floor. “My humblest apologies Princess! I didn't mean to hurt you!”

You slowly sit up, plucking a blade of grass from your hair, seeing it had turned gold under your touch. In fact, gold was already spreading from your body to your clothes and to the earth below.

But this time, you didn't feel embarrassed.

“Tenya?”

The young knight raises his head to look at you, his face tight with anxiety.

You reach out your hand and cup his cheek, allowing a golden glow to cover you both. You smile and place a small kiss on the tip of his nose. “Its alright.”

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jjmaybanksblog · 5 years ago

Text

Stress Release- John B

(Not my gif, credit for whoever created it!)

Summary: Friends with benefits; Two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other's feelings.

Word count: 1,912

Warnings: Mentions fwb, sex, and underage drinking.

You rested on your stomach, textbook in front of you as John B joined your side. You two had been chosen to be partners for a Chemistry class project, but neither of you two had actually paid enough attention to figure out what you two we're doing.

You guys sat in silence for a minute before you exhaled loudly. "What's with the sigh?" You ground loudly, flipping yourself over and laying on your back.

"It's my senior year. I should be out in the world not giving a single fuck about anything, but I'm stressed out of my mind and I have no clue how to get rid of it." You ranted, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it. John B looked at you with a confused look. "What? I'm a screamer. Not sexually, just at life in general." "I can make that sexually." He said, earning a smack from the pillow.

"Therapy?" "Tried." "Painting?" "Tried." "Going to the gym?" "Ha! You're fucking funny." John B remained quiet for a second before coming up with something. "Have you tried just hooking up with someone? You know, like a friends with benefits type thing."

Your head snapped up from it's spot as you stared at the boy with a dumbfounded look. "I'm sorry?" "Well it's just, if you need to release tension, shit like that helps a lot." John B said as he suddenly felt idiotic for bringing the idea up. You sat there for a moment, trying to process his words. "Okay but even if I wanted to I don't know who would even want to."

John B's index finger pointed to his face as you observed his gesture. "Really?and why would you want to be friends with benefits?" "I get stressed too, I help you out, you help me out." You considered his offer for a moment before agreeing on his idea.

"Okay. But we have to make a guideline." You negotiated, ripping out a piece of paper from the notebook. Now it was John B's turn to roll his eyes.

"First rule, we do not tell a single soul about this." You said, grabbing your pen and scribbling the words down. "Okay, okay. Second rule, we call each other whenever we need a release. Whenever and wherever." "No hooking up with anyone else unless either of us get

a boyfriend/girlfriend." He thought aloud.

You nodded your head, writing his words down quickly. "And the last one," you two looked at each other as you spoke in unison, "no feelings." You held the pen out towards him, giving you a questioning look. "What? We gotta make this shit official."

John B let out a chuckle as he took the pen from your hand and scribbled his name. Returning the pen to you, he adjusted himself so he was resting against the headboard. You quickly signed it, closing the notebook shut.

John B sighed softly before looking at youm "You stressed?" You quickly rose up from your spot, your legs resting on both sides of him as you straddled his lap. "You have no idea." His hands trailed up your back, one hand staying on your thigh and gently rubbing it. The other was wrapped tightly around your waist.

Your lips met halfway, he sighed in relief at the feeling of someone else's lips. The kiss was fierce and rushed, both of you wasting no time in getting your stress out.

_________________

You guys had this 'relationship' going for the last 5 months. Almost every other day you called each other. It was an odd thing for you to do. You had done it before in the past, but sex with John B was something else. There were nights where the type would change, he would take control for most of the time. Angry sex, sex in the living room, car sex, anything he wanted to do, you two did.

However, as time went on the feelings John B had began to change. He wanted to spend more time with you, and not just hook up. He wanted to find out more things about you, watch movies with you, be able to kiss you in public whenever he wanted. The at first sloppy sex slowly morphed into passionate sex. He noticed and it scared him shitless. He loved every moment he spent with you and he didn't want that to change.

He was mad at himself. That was the third rule and he broke it. He never expected it to happen, but when it did it slapped him right across the face.

You two were lying there naked, sheets covering your bare chests. You were fast asleep, your body facing him. He took in the tiny details about you, everything that he could. How sometimes your eyelashes flutter. How you'll snore sometimes. How he rests his hand on your cheek and you unknowingly lean into his touch. He buried this hole too deep and he can't get out.

You both were currently at your friend Angela's party, drunk teens were horribly dancing in the living room, couples were hooking up in the bedrooms and bathrooms. John B was drinking a shot of vodka as he saw you walk by, a red plastic solo cup in your hand. "Hey Routledge!" You winked at the boy who shyly drank from his cup.

A classmate of his walked up to John B, "Hey, what's with you and that Y/L/N chick?" The boy asked, nudging John B's shoulders. He smirked at his classmate leaning closer to him, "we're friends with benefits!" John B exclaimed, clearly tipsy and not knowing the words that are spilling out of his mouth.

The classmate smirked at the intoxicated teen, giving JB a high five, congratulating him. You were out in the backyard enjoying the night sky with Sarah Cameron.you two were laughing after watching someone run and fall into the pool.

The fun was quickly ruined as the classmate stood in front of you guys. "So Y/N, I heard you help release stress from my good old friend John B. How about you help me out?" Your face dropped in shock, the cup falling from your hand. "I'm sorry?" You asked, pretending not to understand what he was talking about.

"Oh yeah. But real shit, whenever I need something I'll give you a call." The boy sent you a wink before licking his lower lip and walking away. You stared at the ground in shock. "Are you okay?" "I don't know how to answer that." You admitted.

You stomped out of the backyard and out of the house. Stares, comments and giggles were all you noticed as you made your way through the crowded rooms. Making way to your car, you opened the door and slammed it shut. Your fists pounded down onto the steering wheel, accidentally punching the horn. You crossed your arms and leaned against the wheel. Your head fell against your arms as tears stung your eyes. You were furious at John B, but you were also angry with yourself.

During the time you had been sleeping with John B, you also began to realize how your heart would race a mile a minute with him, even before the physical contact. You had been trying to deny the feelings, 'it's just sex' you repeated to yourself over and over after every session. But to you it was something else, and that scared you.

You sped down down the road, the lights blurring from the tears, your cheeks and nose a shade of pink. Your breathing was uneven as you hicupped every now and then. Returning home, you quickly changed out of your clothes into pajamas and laid in bed. That night was the last time you and John B had an interaction for a whole month.

He would call you, but you'd let the answering machine pick up. You'd swerve him when you walked by him in the halls, catching his eye then turning around to walk the other way.

You wanted to distance yourself as much as you could. John B tried his best to apologize after his classmate reminded him that he told your secret that night at the party. He felt absolutely destroyed hearing the rumors that were spreading about you, about you both, he hated it.

Your eyes were sealed shut as you attempted to let sleep overtake your body. It was finally Friday and you just wanted to sleep for 12 hours. The sound of rain hitting your window sounded like heaven to your ears, just pure silence except for that one noise.

A soft tapping sound echoed off the window. Knowing it wasn't rain, you hesitantly opened your eyes to see John Booker Routledge holding himself as he stood in your backyard, in the pouring rain. His hair was plastered down onto his face. His clothes clung to his body. His eyes were squinted shut in hopes to not get too much water in them.

You quickly got up and pulled him through the window harshly, making him fall to the ground. His skin made a loud slapping noise as he made contact with the hardwood floor. You sighed, rubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand. "Hold on." You quickly went out of the room and walked back in with a towel. You handed it to him as you sat on the bad, John B standing there as he attempted to dry off.

"Look this isn't a guilt-trip. I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you." He started, the towel running through his hair, drops of water flying everywhere. You sighed loudly and pitched the bridge of your nose. "I don't hate or dislike you. I hate that you spilled what we were to what's his face at the party. Do you know how many phone calls I've gotten of guys asking me to hook up with them? 24."

"What we were?" John B asked softly. "You broke your promise, you can't come back from that." You huffed, your eyes not leaving the floor. "It was just a fling." He lied, not only to you but to himself. "Not to me it wasn't." Your voice was just above a whisper.

"What?"

"Throughout the last few months things felt different. It was really fucking weird to think about, but my heart would always just... race when we spent time together. I wanted things to just be more than a fling. But I figured you just wanted it to be just that thing since you came up with the idea." you admitted. He lightly chuckled as he bent down to be face to face with you.

"Princess. I walked here to you in the rain. This is how much I love you. This," he pointed his finger between you two, "I want more than a fling. I want to be able to just walk around with you on my arm and just give you all the fucking affection I can give. And I'm sorry about the calls. I'll make sure people get the notice to-" you cut him off by quickly pressing your lips against his.

He exhaled loudly, your skin suddenly felt as if it were burning. "God I missed you." He mumbled against your lips as his thumb stroked your cheek. "Show me how much you missed me." You whispered, pulling the boy onto the bed.

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moonstudentmagus-blog · 8 years ago

Note

🎱

send 🎱 to play pool with my muse

Pool. She had the rules explained to her, use the cue to shoot the white ball towards the balls arranged in a triangle pattern on the other side of the table. If any of the balls rolls into the corner, she would aim for that type for the rest of the game, right? The eight ball is always last.

She didn’t want her companion to be left waiting as she stared down the white ball, so she made the first shot and launched the ball at the triangle.

The white ball struck at the formation and balls scattered all around, but none of them entered a hole. She turned to her opponent. “Erm...what do we do now?”

#steci memeing #apologizes I don't know much of anything about pool; I had to look the rules up ^^;;#thank you for sending this in!#fallengodcomplex

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exotheticc · 5 years ago

Text

Warnings (prologue only): dom!exo x sub!reader, vague mentions of sex

Summary: having dated each of the exo members on and off, you somehow find yourself in a relationship with all nine of them...and their endless list of kinks.

"And this is your room."

You feel as though your mind is playing tricks on you - never in your life did you think you'd live somewhere so extravagant. You knew they were rich, but when you reach your final stop of the house tour you truly realise to what extent.

"This is for me?" You gasp, looking around the (mostly pink) room. It's huge; the bed is king sized, white sheets with pastel pink curtains hanging from the posts, stuffies surrounding the pillows. You have your own giant window with a seat just beside it, a variety of books and games on the shelf nearby. You're purely overwhelmed.

"There's a walk in closet too, baby, and we've already filled it with new clothes." Jongin smiles, "Are you excited?"

You nod, stepping forwards to hug him, "Thank you."

"It's nothing, baby, your first week here's going to be unforgettable."

By the time you get back downstairs, Kyungsoo has already made a variety of foods and unsurprisingly you find Baekhyun shoving as many cookies as he can into his pockets.

"Baekkie, what are you doing?" You giggle as he raises his eyebrows at you.

"Nothing, baby, I'm just-" He pauses to try and think of an answer,

You laugh at his slight panic and make your way over to him, quickly climbing into his arms as you and Jongin join the rest of the boys in the open plan dining room/kitchen.

"Do you like your room?" Baekhyun whispers, folding his arms around you more comfortably. He's warm, especially his lower stomach...ah right, the cookies.

"Yes." You snuggle into him,

"And what do you say?"

"Thank you, daddy."

"Good girl," He smiles, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

Baekhyun was the only member you'd already had some sexual experience with and although he was all fun and games, you knew he really liked the name - especially since he was seen as less mature by the other members. He felt that with you he was fully in control, and the inner dominance was finally free to come out, even in day-to-day situations.

You look around the room, glancing at the group of men who've gathered, and you can't help but feel your face heat up. You've had experience of this type of relationship before, but never on this scale.

"Do you like your new home, Y/N?" Junmyeon asks, drawing all eyes to you.

You nod silently, hiding your face more in Baekhyun's chest.

"We just have to set out some ground rules, okay?" he continues.

Baekhyun's fingers begin to toy with your hair, a tingling feeling reverberating down your spine everytime the strands were touched.

"First of all, you're perfectly welcome to go into any of our bedrooms and the open areas such as the kitchen. But you cannot enter any of the other rooms, or leave the house, without permission from one of us." He sits himself down properly on the couch opposite you, "Secondly, if we tell you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. This is our house, not yours, and we won't tolerate any bad behaviour."

"If you do have a problem, just tell us." Yixing interrupts, "If you're worried about anything, or upset, just tell us. Okay, baby?"

You shake your head in confirmation.

"Lastly, you're not allowed to use any electronic devices or touch any of ours without permission. That includes television and phones." Junmyeon states, glancing down at you, "Now, would you mind giving me your phone?"

Reaching into your pocket you pull out your phone and quickly turn it off, handing it to Junmyeon. You pout slightly, "Why can't I have my phone?"

"Were you not listening?" he frowns disapprovingly, "What did I say rule number two was?"

"Do what you say. No question."

His eyes remain on you for a moment, awaiting your apology.

"Sorry." You say quietly, desperately wanting to disappear into Baekhyun's chest.

"It's okay, sweetheart, you'll probably take some time to adjust." He nods, vanishing from the room before you have a chance to blink.

Still wrapped in Baekhyun's arms, you blink up at him. He looks back down at you, fishing another cookie out of his pocket and beginning to share it with you.

"Don't eat too much, you two, the food will be ready in a minute." Kyungsoo calls,

"What does Junmyeon do?" You ask Baekhyun, aware that they've always avoided the question. You were so curious, especially after seeing how expensive the house was, as well as their designer clothes and luxuries. "What do you all do?"

"Well, we run our own business. It's a large and successful company." He explains, "We're pretty much self-employed."

"What for?" You fumble with the sleeve of his hoodie as you munch on some more cookie, "What do you sell?"

"It's not very easy to explain, princess." He sighs, glancing over at Chanyeol, one of the boys that have actually remained in the room.

"Hey, Y/N, did you know we have a pool?" the taller boy catches your attention and you look over at him, a smile forming on his face at how cute you look with full cheeks,

You nod, "Jongin showed me."

"Jongdae's planning on taking a dip this evening, you should join him." Chanyeol smiles softly, glancing towards the doorway where Kyungsoo is gesturing you all to come and eat. He steps forwards and places a soft kiss on your forehead before helping you out of Baekhyun's lap.

When you get to the table you're seated between Chanyeol and Minseok, both of them helping themselves to the plates of food in front of them. You eat a lot slower, and a lot less, with Chanyeol leaning over every now and then to give you some of his food.

"You know you don't need to be shy, right?" he murmurs to you, "We don't bite...well, some of us do but we'll save that for later."

He sends a wink your way before the others start cleaning up.

"Sweetheart, why don't you go upstairs and rest? I know it's been a long day and you could probably do with a nap." Junmyeon smiles softly, and somewhere in his voice you find the question to be more of an instruction.

You nod, moving quickly out of the room, slightly overwhelmed by the number of people bustling about.

"___!" You turn at the sound of Baekhyun's voice, giving him a chance to catch up to you, "I thought I'd join you."

You smile at him, "Okay, Baekkie."

When you get to your room, Baekhyun closes the door behind you, gesturing you to lie down. Upon shutting the curtains, he lies down beside you, breath tickling your neck. "Are you nervous?"

You nod.

"Would you like me to help you feel less stressed?" he asks, hand falling to your thigh,

You blink at him, unsure what your answer should be. "J-Junmyeon said I should rest."

"It is resting, baby, you'll sleep better after, I promise." his hand traces sideways, inbetween your thighs. The side of his hand gentles presses against your core.

"Baek-"

"Just relax, sweetheart."

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hoopdiddies · 6 years ago

Text

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 7)

A/N: This is probably the longest I've written in this series. Again guys, thank you for the support, your comments and likes mean so much! My tag list is always open so feel free to ask. And on a slightly heavy note: the next chapter could be really angsty. Just a heads up right there uwu

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, slight drinking, slight swearing, (yeah the fluff is still present)

W/C: 5k-ish

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

Edited// I forgot to link the previous parts

Parts: 6 5 4 3 2 1

(Got the pic from Pinterest hhh-)

Storing the luggage bag you've purchased for a fair price in the spare room, you come across a small box of sundries tucked in one corner with cobwebs clinging to the sides. Your eyes light up with curiosity spiking within you, you pick it up and dust the webs off, blowing the particles away from the top. You squat on the floor and open the flaps, discovering small yet familiar items that had been lost in time– one of them being a sepia-toned polaroid of you and Ben posing dramatically with hilarious doodles drawn on your faces. You forgot about this, feeling a little guilty that you had hidden it away in a drafty box without remembering doing anything of the sort. You flip the picture over and spot a date and an unfinished sentence written in faded ink on the bottom left part. This was taken on Homecoming night.

'I'm not going-' it says, clearly discontinued next to the date. Silly to think that the picture somehow represents a puzzle piece torn away from its board.

You were bound to graduate the week after and barely a day after, not see each other for several years due to your career paths and post-college choices.

You pull on the hem of your shirt, clearing the picture of dust and any more impurities, finally fitting it into your back pocket to finally treasure it the way it was always meant to be treasured.

The door clicks as you bring it close, your eyes gluing themselves at the hardwood floor seconds to having self-pity billow over you at how quickly your tears surface in the corner of your eyes from the memory of Ben spinning Rosy around - the exact way he did with you -and kissing her like she's a pouch full of life.

You clamp down on your bottom lip, trying your hardest not to stain your cheeks with your pooling tears. "Jeez, you just-" you pace back and forth in frustration, balling your fists as you gesticulate lazily, "you just don't get it, Y/N! Ugh, you're so- fuck, just get over it..." Knowing your harsh soliloquy would be getting you nowhere, you snarl strongly at yourself and roughly wipe your tears away with the back of your hand.

"He loves Rosy. F-freaking deal with it!" The reminder takes a hiss from your quivering lips for it to sink in; you have your own place in his life– a place behind the line you'd drawn in the years prior. The friend zone couldn't be any more hollow and cold than it already is.

And a polaroid pic is the only remnant left of how inseparable you and Ben were in the early days.

At the same time you're feeling your heart tear itself apart, Ben pulls out a picture - similar to what you've found - from the inner pocket of his old varsity jacket in the middle of rummaging through his wardrobe. He leaves his room in his pajamas and tosses himself on the couch next to a sleeping Frankie, softly apologizing to the little beagle for disturbing her cat-like nap. As he cuddles Frankie close, he scrutinizes the picture and it's also from Homecoming, but in it both of you are beaming widely with your arms slung around one another– the doodles ever-so-present on your faces. Behind it, the date and the continuation of the trailed-off sentence written at the back of your share of the memory.

'-anywhere at all.'- it ends in Ben's part of the duality. He grins fondly at the long lost picture, feeling twice as guilty for not keeping it safe and...close to his heart, just as he had promised you that night.

- - - - - - - -

In the convenience of Lucy needing some company to shop with for awards season just as she had returned from her get-away with Rami, she drags you along happily, having to pass through you insisting that you stay at home and study but purposefully ending up under her mercy anyway. You couldn't say no to her, she's basically your sparkly, glam counterpart and you're in need of her life-altering sparkles as of now. Especially since you're going to be tagging along with them, mainly as Joe's date cause you know, you're his 'girlfriend' and all.

You're at the mall, in a stylish boutique full of lines of voguish clothing and shoes that could span miles if not compressed together. For once in the hours you've spent scampering around the mall with Lucy to hoard dresses, skin products and make up, you admit that this is the most aesthetically pleasing space in the entire building.

You traipse along a section with black dresses fashioned into different forms, silently praying that what you have with you will amount to at least one of the varying prices.

Lucy's on the opposite side, ogling at the most colorful section in the boutique for a piece to wear. She peers over at you to make sure you've chosen your 'fighter'. A few swishes of the dresses lined up and you do, holding it up high to evaluate the appropriateness.

It's a sleeveless, halter neck satin that's just a few inches above the knee. Utterly backless but it ends right up the small of your back. The fabric is stretchy enough to move around and breathe in as it simultaneously hugs your shape. You love it but gulp as you prepare yourself for the price. Flipping the tag over, you suddenly wish you could let out the biggest, girlish squeal the human race has ever heard with how surprisingly affordable it is.

"Finally picked out yours?" Lucy pokes her head up playfully and you nod, quite speechless but giddy. She makes a grabby hand at your dress to examine it for herself.

Well she's the fashion guru so why not? You hand her the dress and as she trails her eyes from top to bottom, her mouth falls at the simple yet elegant details. "This is perfect! I highly doubt that it's not going to catch every exposed eye present at the event."

Your flush profusely at her comment. "Thanks but I'll be bringing a coat with me."

That triggered her, but of course you're only teasing. "You better effing not." She warns you and you chuckle, taking the dress from her and evenly brushing the skirt.

"I won't, you can sleep soundly tonight."

You assure her of the possibility. As you exit the boutique with a few bags you're not used to holding, Lucy takes out her phone and gasps, her face contorting with a little disbelief. "Uh oh, this might ruin your mood." She hands you the phone and you gape at her confusingly before taking a quick look.

Ben's posted some updates on his wedding preparations, shockingly tagging you, Joe, Gwil and Lucy in one photo. He's pretty busy alright; unable to text or call you for days but miraculously tagging you out of nowhere.

You come to disregard it until you notice one minute but important detail hidden in plain sight in all of his posts– there isn't a single one with him and Rosy together alone. None of such as well on his new ones.

The only post he's had with a close girl is the one with you, which is at the very bottom of his Instagram feed. You won't admit it but it warms your heart a little. Actually, a whole lot despite wondering why there's none of him and his fiancee. You hand Lucy her phone back and tilt your head to one side, suddenly finding the eagerness to go on shopping. "Let's go."

The following week comes as a radial blur contrasted to the slightly moderate one you just woke up from; your manager phoning you up to take the earliest shift you've had in years at the expense of your allotted time to rest, the heavy workload and rush hours in the upcoming hours followed by the slowest progress of filing your travel documents and visa needed for your departure on the 26th. You've got tons of missed calls from your parents and Joe, who's requested for you to pack up early since you'll be leaving for LA with Lucy on the day of the awards but earlier.

Also noting that you still need to double check the costs for flying to LA and back, ruling out the one exclusive for your flight on the 26th.

For mere days you feel as if you could lose your sanity as your life spirals into madness with everything you're required to do– whether or not you're obliged to do it.

But they are effective distractions for that problem you are still very much preoccupied with. That's a matter noteworthy of later discussion. Amidst all the chaos happening, part of you wishes for Ben to reply to your messages or even talk to you in the slightest. You never bothered to call this week since he's tied up but the least he could do is let you know how he's doing, if he's thinking of you once in a thousand passing seconds.

You give up for a day waiting on him and drown yourself in work.

- - - - - - -

Securing your phone between your tilted head and your shoulder as you indulge in your talk with Joe through the line, you crouch and zip your luggage bag close. Your eyes fixating themselves on two, separate luggage bags for two, separate travels.

"Was that all of it?" Joe's disembodied voice asks. You spring up and take your phone between your fingers. "Pretty much. I better have a kick out of something by the time we touchdown tomorrow– it's my first visit to the US." You inform him, leaping into your bed and landing comfortably.

He chortles softly and ensures you. "I know and you can be sure to expect a good par- ow! Bad kitty!" His smooth transition to a yelp amuses you for split second.

"Are you alright? "

"No. I'm finally feline food to my kid." He refers to his pet cat that has taken a small nibble on his finger, in which Joe returns with a light ruffle to its fur. You can't help but giggle heartily at him.

"Anyway, I'm picking you and Lucy up from LAX tomorrow." He gives you that heads up and you bring your hand up to your forehead. "Where will we be staying?"

"I've booked a hotel earlier so you've got nothing to worry about the moment you land." A faint crunch can be heard from your end and you mind to ask Joe about it. "Are you- are you eating?"

To answer your question, he bites down on his food sloppily and guarantees you of what you heard. You smack your lips together as your eyes narrow in bewilderment.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Sometimes you make it easier for me to hit you with a pillow."

"Is that how you treat your boyfriend?" He taunts at you and cackles, his distorted voice bouncing off of the walls of your room. You sigh, defeated by the fact that this charade is still going on. It's silly and immature yet you and Joe somehow managed to stick to the act.

"Speaking of boyfriend though– would he be furious if I told him that I couldn't be there on his wedding day?" Since you're rested and got nothing else to distract you, you pop the question to Joe.

"Ben?"

You hum softly.

"There are two scenarios that we need to consider," on his end, Joe taps his finger on his lips as he thinks of said scenarios, "Best case scenario- he would get discouraged and slightly unmotivated, and obviously sad, but he'd still support you cause that's your dream."

You sit up and twirl the ends of your hair around your finger, swallowing. "And worst case scenario?"

Joe falls silent before exhaling harshly. "You'd crush his soul, heart, everything ranging from physical to spiritual and it would take a toll– and I mean a substantial toll on your friendship."

"Joe, don't make it sound like a prospect! "

"That is, " he adds strongly, "if he finds out that you had meant for him to be oblivious to it." And he's right. But you had a reason. You still do. Even if you do end up telling him and he supports you, you need a great deal of space to move on.

As long as he's committed to Rosy and you're in the sidelines still in love with him, it's just something toxic. You couldn't love anybody they way you do Ben and you feel like you'll never love someone like him ever again. Albeit how clueless he is sometimes and clumsy, you both had survived every storm and wave. So sticking around to witness him give his hand and heart to someone else is torture for you.

"I'm gonna be direct and say-" just as you begin talking, your phone shrills to another caller, cutting you off from Joe.

One look at the screen and your heart begins racing. Speak of the devil. You reserve an explanation for cutting off and answer Ben, clearing your throat. "You're late."

Ben's gruff chuckle welcomes you back. "I know, I'm so sorry. Busiest week I've had and the lady at Starbucks signed my cup like a snail."

"What are you doing tonight that requires coffee?"

"Call me dramatic- or do so, given that I'm an actor- but I just want to stargaze right now." You hear a light rustle coming from his end, like he's seated out on his lawn.

Silently giving him the 'oh really' look, you spread one side of the curtain to let some moon light in. "Ben, you're leaving early tomorrow."

He hums, seemingly enjoying himself. "But that's not an excuse to not enjoy the night." This boy can not get any cornier. You cast your gaze upon the moon, sighing profoundly. "How did the wedding planning go? Good?"

"Hm, yeah. Church wedding, big reception. Whole lot of booze binging planned out. And a killer bachelor party the day after the awards. " He jokes through the line and you tell him off in a playful chide. "Benjamin Jones, you better-"

"I won't. I won't." You sense his gentle smile from your end, checking the time and reluctantly coming to the decision to hit the hay since you'll be leaving early as well. As much as you want to recreate those late night conversations you once had with him, you can't.

"Hey?" You coo somehow.

"Yeah?"

"I gotta sleep. I have to meet Lucy at the airport at 5."

He gives out a throaty grunt as if he's pulling himself up. "Tragic. I'll see you in LA then, love."

Your lips curl up into the gentlest smile with the moonlight blessing it from the window. "You too. Tell yourself and the rest- especially Brian and Roger- that I'm gonna be rooting for you guys to get up on that stage."

"I will. Thanks for the motivation, Y/N. All the words coming from you just mean so much to me. To all of us." And in his voice, you can hear his utmost sincerity and fondness just highlighting his tone.

"Anytime. Now let me sleep, you bloke. "

"Haha, alright. Love you tons, love."

Shifting your eyes to the sky once more, you reply, allowing the words you're about to say to mean more.

"I love you too, Ben. Good night."

- - - - - - -

24th

You had promised Lucy you'd arrive 10 minutes earlier than her and you really didn't hold on to that promise. As soon as you arrive at the airport nearly bathing in sweat and deaf from the multiple rings Lucy has given you, you both take off to the waiting area with your heavy luggage where you spend an hour and a half waiting for your flight to board. Joe has sent two texts telling you that he's still in the middle of having coffee and it's a questionable action since he's 8 hours behind you and is expected to be asleep by now.

You reply with a simple, "See you there" before heeding to the call of your flight number from the speakers.

All the rushing and you haven't had a bite of breakfast yet. An eleven hour flight doesn't sound so bad, as long as you make sure you don't reel everytime you get up to use the bathroom and acquire jet lag the moment you land from a direct flight without any pit stops. The flight is long as you are awake but by the time you fall asleep in between hours, it shortens the duration. The pilot announcing your arrival wakes you and Lucy from the latest nap you've had on the plane. After gathering your luggage and answering a couple of phone calls on you way down the plane, the arrival area is where you spy Joe behind the red tapes, a scarf around his neck and an eager look plastered on his pale skin, just waiting for you and Lucy to step in. His eyes crinkle as he sees you both treading towards him with a handful of luggage. He greets you both with a tight hug and ushers you to his car, assisting with the transport of your things.

He's booked you in the hotel he's staying in to, of course, avoid some minor inconveniences especially since the awards start at 7 pm and you drastically need Lucy to help you prepare. Upon reaching the hotel, he leads the both of you up the second floor and into the hall for your rooms.

Apparently you and Lucy will be sharing which is the great and Joe will be staying in the room right across yours.

After giving yourselves a brief tour of the room, you settle in and unpack your essentials.

"Y/N, bring out your fighter!" Lucy declares with a giggle, pulling the dress she's chosen from her suitcase. It's a purple, off-the-shoulder, crepe satin and black velvet gown that cascades gracefully against the stable air.

Your eyes widen in awe at how it looks against the light. "No need for a match, Luce. You win," you raise your hands up in surrender, "that's- that's catching more eyes. From Rami of course."

"Oh shut it. You'll look smooth in black." She clicks her tongue and smoothens it at the edge of the bed. You whip out yours and hold it up high, wavering a little at how you'll look like in it tonight. How fortunate you were to find 3-inch, black pumps closeted when you were 'panic packing' the night before. You take it out from your suitcase and set it aside before striding towards the blinds, pulling it up and beholding the breathtaking view of Hollywood before you.

Your first visit to the US and you're already headed to the Oscars. This isn't the real life. This is just fantasy.

- - - - - - - -

"We're having a dinner party afterwards, I don't see any reason for two sandwiches before the ceremony." Staring blankly at how Joe's handling waiting for you and Lucy to emerge from your room, Rami purses his lips quizzically– he's come by to pick up his girl as well. The two men look dashingly handsome in their black tuxes and slick hairstyles– their individual charm strong as they highly anticipate for your appearances.

Joe swallows the chunk in his mouth before speaking. "I'm stressed."

"About what?"

He bites down on his last sandwich, dusting his hands off crumbs as he reasons out. "It's the Oscars. Biggest ceremony of the year."

With a shake of his head, Rami opens his mouth to protest but pauses as the creak of the door behind them butts in their conversation. Lucy - exquisite in her cascading satin gown and look dotted in light to moderate make up - emerges with her purse in hand and eyes heady on Rami.

Joe wishes he could loosen some hinges in Rami's jaw since the latter has got his mouth agape at her girlfriend's evening look. To him, she is his ultimate award and he wouldn't have it in any other way.

"Hey, babe." Lucy smiles delicately and kisses Rami's cheek, to which he responds with a breathless, "Luce, you look..." His starstruck silence finishing his compliment for her. Joe hums, agreeing with crossed arms. "I wish I was as pretty as you, Boynton."

"You boys look handsome, too." Lucy giggles softly and Joe begins to wonder. "Where's Y/N?"

"She'll be out in three...two..." As Lucy deliberately pauses her countdown, you come out of the room, head down as you feel a bit hesitant to continue but you regain your confidence and look up timidly– your appearance putting Joe in the same position Rami was just in with Lucy. The dress really agrees to your form, contouring every curve of your body in a semi-sensual way, guaranteeing that you'll be snagging some looks tonight. Your (H/C) hair frames your face intricately with your light make-up emphasizing the color of your eyes and lips. The light brush of air against the skin of your exposed back makes you clutch your purse tighter, deeming it uncomfortable.

Lucy smiles proudly at her work and that is you. "Well, how does she look Joe?"

Joe lets out a hitched exhale, hazel eyes wide as a sinkhole and a slacked jaw struggling to budge. "Like my girlfriend."

"You wish." You can't help but retort playfully and he brings his finger up to his lips, hushing you. Rami compliments you as well and you thank him as the four of you make your way to the elevator– your arm on Joe's and Lucy's on Rami's.

You've taken a limo for the sake of convenience, since Joe and Rami wanted to propose a pre-toast - with the champagne present in the vehicle - to their successes and hard work in the past year. You have faith they'd bring home an Oscar; considering how spectacular their work was portraying the members of Queen. You're also thrilled that you're about to meet Brian and Roger.

The limo parks just across Dolby Theatre and the four of you climb out, making your way arms-in-arms into the place crowded with paparazzi and attendees. You see yourself as a small fish swimming in a sea full of majestic dolphins. This is the big leagues right here and you're not even one bit of a celebrity– at least you feel like you aren't one. After a couple of shoulder brushes with either familiar and unfamiliar faces and escaping the blinding flashes of the cameras, the four of you reunite with Gwilym who has Roger and Brian present by his side. You are introduced to the two Queen members by Joe and you couldn't be any more happier to meet them in person. A couple of moments of interacting with the rest of the crew and cast, Ben joins the 'party' looking sharp and admittedly drop-dead gorgeous in his white tuxedo blazer and slicked back hair with Rosy by his side.

Before he could even reply to the greetings of his friends, he lays his eyes on you and for a while– his pupils dilate and his expression flits faster than he can command it to. He can't believe what or who he is seeing before him amidst all the glam. Letting go of Rosy's hand for a minute, he steps close to you, indescribably captivated. "Y/N...h-hey."

You keep your composure, musing back. "Hey. You look left out, outfit-wise, and a like a million bucks."

It takes him nearly five seconds to reply with the way hes has his eyes transfixed on you. It's like he's seeing you for the first time. Your evening look setting him back to Homecoming night and something inside him just tweaks. You avoid his mindless gaze and break the silence, trying your hardest not to flush. "Ben, please talk. It's just really-"

"You look...beautiful." He breathes out like he had just gotten up from under water.

#queen #borhap #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #joe mazzello #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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tornbetween2loves · 6 years ago

Text

Arcana Unbound—The Beach Part 3

Four thousand years ago gods and magic shaped and ruled and were plentiful in the world. Man and all the creatures were shaped and marked by it.

Then things began to change. Gradually those things of magic diminished and the things of science took precedence until magic became a myth tucked away safely in children’s fairy tales and skilled entertainer’s parlor tricks.

It’s been a thousand years of progress unmarked by true magic.

Things are about to change.

This fic is part of a collaborative AU created by my talented friend @innerpostmentality , and myself. This part was written 50/50 by myself and @innerpostmentality It is an immediate continuation of ‘The Beach – Part 2’

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry, except for our OC’s, they are our precious babies and we claim them as our own.

Word count: around 3600

Warnings: this section contains erotica and mentions date rape. Please do not read if you are under 18 or bothered by these themes.

Calais took Xiphos by the hand and led him further down the path they had taken earlier. The path eventually became quite overgrown and narrow, they had to walk single file and duck under branches keeping a close watch to stay on the path. After what seemed like quite a distance they could hear rushing water and then they pushed through the last bit of underbrush and came into a clearing.

“Wow, this is amazing.” Xiphos looked at the waterfall in front of them. It started at least twenty or thirty feet in the air and crashed into a small crystal clear pool at the bottom.

Calais turned to him and with a sexy smile she pulled her sweater over her head and unbuttoned her jeans. Xiphos raised an eyebrow as he took off his shirt. “Oh are we really gonna skinny dip?” Calais nodded as she slipped off her bra and underwear and stood before him completely nude in the mottled sunlight.

"It's the only way to keep our clothes dry" She quickly dove into the pool and grinned as she surfaced to watch him. "When we were little occasionally Aeneas and I would sneak down here to swim when we weren't supposed to."

Xiphos grinned as he took off his pants and followed Calais into the pool. He dove in head first and surfaced right in front of her. “You mean Aeneas actually did something he wasn’t supposed to?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I find that hard to believe.”

She nodded and looked seriously at him. "When we were six. I'm not sure that swimming here really violated his sense of what a king was or wasn't supposed to do. We knew that dad and mom came swimming here. So I think it was a grown up king thing in his head."

She giggled, "I'm blaming your sister for this. She picked out my outfit. And put me in skinny jeans." She chuckled.

He wrapped her in his arms and looked into her dark eyes. “You would look great in anything.” He flashed her a sexy smile. “Don’t worry, skinny jeans won’t keep me from something I really want.” He kissed her softly at first, then deepened the kiss.

Calais moaned her desire softly into his mouth as her tongue stroked his. Her fingers carefully, gently stroked his neck and shoulders. When she came up for air she whispered. "Follow me" She took his hand and swam for the falls. Behind the waterfall there was an alcove where the water was shallower. "Xiphos, I want you so much."

“My god Calais, I can’t even begin to describe how much I want you.” He pressed his body against hers as he kissed her again. She felt his arousal press into her pelvic bone.

She stroked him with shaky fingers. Then kissed him again as she sighed his name. She took his hand to her hot center. "Love me. I need you so much."

Xiphos sunk a finger inside her as he crashed his mouth on hers. He felt her trembling against him as he slid his finger in and out of her wet heat.

She moaned her desire as her inner walls contracted around his finger and she stroked the steely velvet of his arousal in sync with his ministrations.

She was flushed and panted as he skillfully wound her passion tighter and tighter.

Xiphos closed his eyes to restrain himself as he felt Calais come undone in his arms. He pulled himself out of her grasp, not wanting to go over the edge just yet. He held her tight as she rode the waves of her climax. “You are so amazingly beautiful. I want to feel myself deep inside your beauty.” His voice was hoarse and filled with need as his emerald eyes locked on hers.

Calais shook and wept in his shoulder, overcome with the complexity of her emotions. She wished in that moment so badly that his gentle lovemaking was all she had ever known.

She looked in his beautiful eyes, "Xiphos…. Oh Love.. I need you so much."

He gazed into her eyes lovingly as he positioned himself at her entrance. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.” He kissed her softly as he entered her gently. He moaned as he thrust slowly in and out of her as tension built inside him.

She sighed and curled her hips in to welcome him as she matched his movement. "You are in my heart Xiphos." Her eyes were soft deep pools still bright with tears as she held his gaze. Love and joy in their union radiated from her as she wrapped herself around him.

Their breath matched as their passion built.

“Oh Calais, I love you so much,” He panted as he started to feel her walls convulse around him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as he thrust one final time and held her close, losing himself in the feel of her as he felt his release.

She arched her back and tightened around him as she felt him release so deep in her. She kissed him softly. "I love you Xiphos. I do. I know it's so sudden. So new. So precious. But I do believe in us."

Xiphos nodded, his breathing heavy, unable to form a coherent thought. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him. “Calais I.....you....” he sighed and shook his head in frustration.

She held him, loving his warmth and strength. She kissed him and stroked his cheek then she smiled. "You asked me earlier if there was something I wasn't good at. I'm pretty bad when it comes to math. I manage but Math is hard."

"I love you." She grinned.

Xiphos giggled. “I happen to be a math whiz. So we compliment each other well.” He kissed the top of her head. He sighed. “I guess there’s lots of things I’m good at. I’m a pretty good dancer. I’m a black belt in three different forms of martial arts. I’ve been trained to handle any kind of weapon you can think of. But you are so gifted Calais. I wouldn’t say I’m gifted.” He smiled at her and stroked her cheek softly. “Unless loving you is a gift. I promise to love you with all that I am.” He kissed her gently, then with more passion.

She responded to his kisses as she savored the taste of him. "Do we have to go back?" She grinned at him. "Now I long to wake up with your arms around me. We fit together so perfectly. I love being wrapped in you, Love.”

Xiphos smiled down at her. “Waking up with you in my arms everyday would be like a dream.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “But I fear if we don’t return soon our siblings may send a search party to look for us.” He raised an eyebrow at Calais. “What do you think they’re doing?”

She grinned, "I don't know. Maybe riding on the beach. I think your sister is trying to get in my brother’s pants." She lifted her brow in mock seriousness then giggled.

Xiphos chuckled. “Well, when Sarissa wants something she goes after it. She’s pretty relentless. I’m afraid your brother may be powerless to her charms.”

She kissed him again then stroked his cheek with a very serious look. "Xiphos… I.. I need to tell you something. And I don't know how."

Xiphos looked deep into her dark eyes with a serious look on his face. His voice was gentle as his brow furrowed. “My love, please don’t ever be afraid to tell me anything. What is it? I want to help.”

She shook her head. "Not here. I don't want to bring that here." She held his hand and led him back into the pool then swam over to where they had left their clothes. She got dressed still looking distressed. She waited until he was dressed and they were out of the pool clearing, back where the trail widened before she stopped and slipped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. Her voice was shaky and so soft it was hard to hear her.

"There... there are pictures."

“Pictures?” He wrapped his arms around her protectively. He didn’t know what she was about to tell him but he knew it wasn’t good. He could tell she had been hurt. His blood already began to boil at the idea of someone hurting this beautiful creature. He kept his voice calm and soothing as he took a deep breath to push his anger down deep. “Honey, just tell me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re going through.”

She took a shuddering breath and fidgeted. "I was at university. Guys never pay attention to me Xiphos. Because I'm a princess. Or because I'm so marked. They just don't. They never have. But.. well... there was this guy who was in a couple of my classes. His name was Rene. And he started talking to me. And eventually he asked me out. He seemed... I thought. I thought we were friends. I thought he liked me. Then one evening there was this … It was a big party. And he asked me. And.. "

She burst into tears and silently wept for a long time as he stroked her back before she got enough control to continue. Her voice was flat like she was reciting from a script about someone else. "He gave me a drink that had something in it. I don't remember much but waking up sore. I had lots of bruises where he or maybe it was more than one person had bitten me, passion bites. He.. they had taken pictures of him taking my virginity... He.. he said if I ever told they would put it up on the internet. Give it to the media. So, so I came home. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Tears coursed down her cheeks as she apologized to him.

Xiphos wrapped her in his arms, his green eyes flaring bright in anger. He took some deep breaths as he held her close and kissed the top of her head gently as he spoke in a low voice cracked with emotion. “My love, my sweet princess, I am so sorry that happened to you.” He pulled away from their embrace to look in her sad eyes. He smiled softly as he brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.” He pulled her close again as he wrapped his arms around her. He balled his hands into fists behind her back and clenched his teeth. “I promise to always keep you safe my love. Have you told anyone else about this?”

"Sarissa. But not, not so much. I just. I'm sorry. I don't want you to see that someday. I.. wouldn't have. I just need you to know why. Why sometimes I'm not strong."

Xiphos struggled to contain his anger. He knew his anger was futile. He would never convince her to tell him who it was. Which was probably a good thing because if he knew he would probably hunt him down and kill him.

He enveloped her in his arms and whispered softly in her ear. “You don’t have to always be strong. It’s ok. I will be your strength, my love.” He pulled back and gazed into her eyes determinedly. “I promise I will never let anyone hurt you again. Ever. Do you believe me?”

She nodded and held him as she found another level of peace in his arms. She felt lightened somehow with him knowing the horrible secret she'd held for so long. Her voice was whisper soft and she looked at him with wonder, gently exploring his face with feathery touches, "I want to share all the beautiful brightness of the world with you. Sunsets on beaches, catching raindrops on our tongues, morning roses when their perfume is like a caress on your heart, all the things that would make you smile I would give you."

“You’re so very sweet, my love.” He smiled at her. “There is nothing in this world that would make me smile more than you.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

Calais took Xiphos’ hand and murmured, "I know we have to go back... Just... I don't want this to be a thing. I'm sorry I had to tell you. But I didn't want you to someday see..." She dashed at her eyes and squared her shoulders and slowly met his eyes. "I need it to be behind me. Not this thing I'm so afraid will ambush me."

Xiphos wrapped his arms around her. “Your secret is safe with me. I will do whatever I can to help.” He kissed the top of her head and laced his fingers through hers. “Come on, let’s head back.”

She was quiet as they walked the rest of the way back to where the path emerged onto the beach. She stopped as the water of the bay came into view and looked up at Xiphos, "I feel so much better when I'm with you. It doesn't really make sense when I think about how long we've actually been together. But I know, like a truth in my soul that I love you."

Xiphos smiled lovingly as he gently brushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. “And I love you, Princess Growling Tummy. I hope to be your Prince Charming.”

"Well you are at the top of the list." She swung their hands and giggled as they made their way back up the beach toward the fire. Where they found Aeneas and Sarissa missing along with Lancelot.

Calais went to the picnic basket and started digging in it.

"It's getting dark enough I think they'll be back soon. But there's a chicken sandwich in there that is calling to me.”

“Mmmm that sounds good. Got one for me too?” Xiphos approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Or maybe you could feed me some strawberries?” He asked with a chuckle.

She laughed and handed him one of the chicken sandwiches. Then looked for a bottle of Chardonnay which she handed to him. Then she murmured, "Strawberries are for dessert."

He chuckled as he opened the Chardonnay. “I’ve always rather enjoyed dessert.” He poured two plastic cups and handed one to her, then took a bite of his sandwich. “Mmmm. I love chicken salad.”

They finished their sandwiches and Calais was snuggled against Xiphos’ side as they fed each other strawberries and orange slices between kisses when she shushed him. "Listen."

On the breeze coming in from the sea faint but clear there was singing.

"I think they're coming back."

Xiphos giggled. “They’re singing? Oh they definitely both have it bad.” He looked into her eyes deeply and brushed the hair from her face. His voice was low and soft. “I have it bad too, beautiful.”

She sighed softly as she smiled, lost in his emerald gaze. "I guess I'll just have to keep kissing you to try to make it better." She leaned in to kiss him deeply and was lost.

A few minutes later Xiphos broke the kiss as Lancelot was nudging his shoulder. His reins were loose and Aeneas was sitting on him holding Sarissa across his lap kissing her, oblivious to where Lancelot had brought them.

Xiphos chuckled and cleared his throat. He reached up to rub the side of Lancelot’s snout “Hey dog. Who’s a good boy?”

Sarissa pulled away from Aeneas with an apologetic look. Her face flushed red as she stammered, “Oh, sorry, we didn’t realize you both were here.”

Aeneas blushed and shifted his grip on Sarissa and carefully turned to lower her to the ground on the opposite side of Lancelot from Xiphos and Calais trying to preserve her modesty. "We should have realized that rather like a carnival pony Lancelot would bring us back to the picnic basket and the carrots."

Calais giggled, "And rather like a lap dog he thinks he needs to be in the middle of everything people are doing."

Calais grinned at her brother. "Did you have a good ride?"

If it was possible Aeneas blushed even more. But his voice was deep and soft as he looked at Sarissa. "It was spectacular thanks entirely to my breathtaking companion."

It was Sarissa’s turn to blush. She was silent as she reached into the picnic basket and fished out two carrots for Lancelot. Xiphos giggled and grinned at his sister’s blushing. “Hey, there’s no need to feel embarrassed. We’re all friends here. Actually we’re family.” He gazed deep into Calais’ eyes as he said ‘we’re family’

Calais blushed and nuzzled into Xiphos' chest. "Sarissa can I keep him? Pretty Please?"

Aeneas smiled at Sarissa then lifted her chin and kissed her softly. He stroked her blushing cheek with his thumb. Looking in Sarissa's eyes he answered Xiphos. "I am in complete agreement. We're family."

Sarissa smiled and wrapped her arms around her prince to pull him closer. Then she turned to Calais. “You may keep him. He doesn’t listen to anything I say anyway. As long as I get to keep your brother.”

"Maybe it's a brother thing. Aeneas doesn't listen to me unless I don't want him to actually hear something."

Calais stretched up and whispered in Xiphos' ear. "I love you." She pulled back and grinned at him as she cocked her head.

"Of course sometimes I think they may just like making you repeat yourself."

A wide grin spread across Xiphos’ face as he shot a glance at Aeneas. “I think they may have discovered our secret.”

Lancelot lipped gently at Sarissa's fingers as he begged for more carrots.

Aeneas chuckled and kissed her nose. "I'm all yours. But if we don't tie my horse he's going to wind up in our laps trying to get more carrots. And I have a great desire to feed you some of that delicious food that you so carefully packed."

Aeneas let her go and grabbed Lancelot's lead and took him over to secure him with the other horses. He returned a few minutes later and settled next to Sarissa on the blanket she had spread out earlier.

Calais got up and went over and picked up her guitar and strummed it thoughtfully as she walked back over to Xiphos and smiled softly.

"Aeneas and I were pretty little when dad first started teaching us to play. This song is so old. It was old when our parents were young. But… well, you make me want to play it." She sat down on the blanket facing Xiphos and started to play and softly sing to him as she looked in his eyes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR6L_C0Ii6s

Sarissa gazed into Aeneas’ eyes as she fed him strawberries and listened to the words Calais sang to her brother softly. She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth lightly. “This song is appropriate. And romantic,” she murmured softly.

Aeneas took Sarissa's hand and kissed her knuckles as he looked in her eyes. "I wish I could stop time. Just stay in this moment with you. But then I think I really want all those tomorrows with you." He leaned in and kissed her gently, softly before he brushed his fingers through the silk of her hair. He pulled back blushing. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to control myself around you Sarissa."

Sarissa smiled as she gently stroked his cheek. Her voice was a soft whisper as she touched her forehead to his. “You don’t have to control yourself around me. I am the one person you can lose control with.” She pressed her lips to his again, slowly parting his lips with her tongue.

Calais leaned over as she finished the song and kissed Xiphos.

The world fell away as they kissed and finally the obstacle of her guitar between them brought them out of it enough they pulled back flushed and wanting.

"Um.." She grinned and whispered. "Xiph I want you so much right now I don't think my legs are going to let me stand."

They were interrupted then by Aeneas’ guard Evan who carefully approached the intimately engaged couple. He looked at his toes as he cleared his throat. "Your Royal Highness... Your Royal Highness please forgive me. But your father is asking for you. There are some arrangements that must be finalized, Sir."

Aeneas broke the kiss but not his eye contact with Sarissa.

"Thank you, Evan. Please tell father I'm on my way."

He closed his eyes to control his breathing with effort as Evan bowed to them and walked back down the beach toward the palace.

"I'm sorry, Sarissa." He leaned in and sipped another brief kiss before he stood and offered her his arm. "I have to go. If you would like to come with me I will arrange a car."

Calais sighed in frustration. "Aeneas do you want us to take Lancelot back to the stables? I'm sure Xiphos and I can manage to get them all back."

Aeneas smiled at Calais, "Thank you, Calais. Just remember if you keep Sarissa waiting too long she has my leave to send Evan after you."

Tags: @darley1101 @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @bobasheebaby aby @carabeth @riseandshinelittleblossom @kennaxval @stopforamoment @furiousherringoperatortoad @indiacater @sirbeepsalot @alesana45 @museofbooks @furryperfectionlover @ao719 @blackcatkita

#choices fandom #long post #arcana unbound #the royal romance

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left-myself-in-the-alleyway · 7 years ago

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Forever & Always

Part 3

Warning: Descriptive abuse, panic attack(s) touches lightly on drinking

To anyone who reads this: I wrote this part before I did any research on panic attacks and such so please be kind.

Thanks to @momobucketcomics for editing/co-writing this and making the mood board below.

More thanks to @devotedlybeautifulkingdom- (Tumblr won’t let me tag you!) for showing support for this story.

I felt someone rubbing my back. Someone, or something was comforting me, telling me I was safe. In the state I was in, I'm surprised I could hear it at all. I could feel the sweat trickling down my face, leaving a wet, slimy trail. I also felt myself calming down, albeit slowly.

It's okay. It's okay. I kept telling myself, desperately wanting to believe it.

I sat up straight and leaned back, still trying to fill my lungs. I could barely get enough air in them without feeling like I was suffocating.

I heard someone say my name.

"Mmhhmm...?" I mumble, my eyes still shut tight.

"Evelyn, can you please open your eyes?" I hear a voice that sounds like Tony ask, sounding... concerned?

Slowly, I comply to my so-called father's wishes.

I opened my eyes to see a sea of faces staring at me, worried expressions on their faces.

...Last time I checked, there weren't this many people in the room. Damn, I'm seeing double again.

I rubbed my eyes and took a deep breath. Finally, my head was clear enough to speak normally. "I'm sorry... overreaction." I try to cover up.

"I would like to apologize for asking you that. I didn't know you would react that badly." Thor explained. It was badly worded, but...I knew what he meant.

"It's okay. It's not your fault- I shouldn't have let my mind wander..." The last words drifted off into a mutter- I wonder if he could hear me.

"Do I have a room?" I ask quietly. I don't want to stay here for much longer.

"Yes, I um. Yeah." Tony still looked a bit freaked out about my panic attack. I hope he hasn't bitten off more than he can chew by taking me in...

"I can take her to her room, Tony." Steve offers.

"Thanks, Steve." He replied, walking away.

Steve gave me a smile. "Follow me."

Dragging my feet, I grab my backpack and duffle bag. Panic attacks are exhausting.

As soon as we leave the room, it's just the two of us. The hubbub in the last room seemed to have vanished from existence, as if nothing had happened at all. Huh, guess they have soundproofing here too.

"Are you okay?" He asked as the elevator started to move.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I say, trying to get some form of a smile to form on my face. I hate it when people worry about me- I feel like I'm just a nuisance to them.

"You know, when I first came out of the ice, I had panic attacks. Everything was really overwhelming." He admitted. "I found the best thing I could do was talk to people about what happened. War is an ugly thing. You see a lot of things you wish you hadn't."

"It sounds like...you had a hard time leaving the past in the past and embracing the future" I say quietly as we navigate the halls, a whisper being all I could muster.

"You're pretty smart for someone so young. But that is something that you should remember too. Your past may determine your future, but it doesn't have to rule it." He explains as we come to my door, his pure blue eyes boring into my hazel ones.

"If you ever need anything at all, and you can't find Tony, don't be afraid to come to me for help." He said softly. "Just ask JARVIS to take you to my apartment. It's on this floor."

I scrunch my eyebrows. Apartment? "Everyone here has half a floor, except for myself and Tony. He has a whole floor to himself. I have almost a whole floor, so that's why Tony figured it would be a good idea to put you here." He explained.

My eyes go wide. "That's right, you get a small apartment just for you." He chuckled.

I smiled to myself. Maybe this won't be so bad.

"Remember what I said." He says, walking away.

I walk into my room, exhausted. I let go of my bags, letting them land wherever. It's so clean in here, I feel a slight twinge of guilt for messing up the neatness of everything with my scruffy baggage. I look at the rustic, brown clock. Thank God it’s not some weird futuristic aesthetic design, I hate that kind of stuff . It's 6:00.

That means it's only 3:00 back home.

Home. Somehow, the word feels foreign in my mouth- like a new shoe that'll take getting used to, or... Something.

I look at my messy bags laying haphazardly on the floor. My other luggage must be downstairs, wherever Mr. Hogan put them. I'm too tired to care about anything right now. I've got so much to do, but I can't resist taking a quick nap- Then I'll unpack and check out the rest of the apartment.

I flop down on the couch. Closing my eyes, I still can't believe how much my life could change so much over the course of a few hours.

Tony trodded over to the lounge bar, searching for the drink he had left behind earlier. He chugged down the glass of alchohol. Even though it was now room-temperature, he savored it rushing down his throat. Then, without even thinking, he poured himself a glass of the strongest bottle on the shelf- Devil's Springs Vodka. He collapsed on the couch sipping his strong drink.

"No, no! Stop it!" I scream at my mother.

She had just returned from wherever it was that she went. Probably the bar, considering her words were extremely slurred. With every step she took, it was heavier than anything- like ten earthquakes simultaneously rocking my world.

She was hitting me, landing blow after blow over and over again. I wish it would stop.

I need it to stop!

I almost got away, but she latched onto my shirt and pulled me back.

"Oh, darling. You're not getting away that easily!" She laughed as she dug her long, inhumanly sharp nails into my arms. I cried out as I felt the skin start to split and bleed.

She shoved me onto the floor. Before I could be relieved at her release, my head caught the corner of the table on my way down. Pain exploded through my head, and I could feel hot blood welling up somewhere on my face. Through my blurry, spotted vision I saw her chug down another bottle of vile-smelling beer.

Then, instead of doing what I hoped she would do, she threw it at me. I screamed as it shattered on the floor, showering me in broken shards. I cried out one last time as I felt the pieces of glass embed themselves in my flesh, burning deeper and deeper inside me. As I struggled to run away, my hands slipped on the floor that was pooling with my blood and tears. It rose ever higher, fueled by my bodily fluids, threatening to flood the entire room. The salty mixture seeped into my fresh wounds, burning them black.

Before I black out, I hear her say something. Her voice was no longer slurred, but crystal clear. It was sick and twisted, familiar and yet of something nightmarish that you'd only hear in the darkest depths of hell.

"Remember, Evelyn; however far you run, no matter how hard you fight back, I will be with you. Forever... and Always." As she growled those last words, everything faded away into darkness.

I shot up out of my restless slumber, drenched in cold sweat. My heart was pounding. I quickly pulled up the sleeves of my pullover, thinking I had woken up after being knocked out. There were only fading bruises and scars. Then, I remembered where I was. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I glanced at the clock. I only slept for 45 minutes, and I'd managed to have one of the worst nightmares in history. Oh, jeez.

I started unpacking my measly possessions. Anything to get my mind off That.

Someone had brought the rest of my bags up and put them in my room. I plopped down on the pristine bedsheets, feeling myself sink down into the mattress. It felt much comfier up here than on the couch. Maybe if I'd crashed on an actual bed, I'd have been spared the horrors of that nightmare.

I hung up a few of my tops in the closet. Most of my clothing consisted of long-sleeved sweaters, which I used to wear to school to hide the marks. I also had one sundress and two maxi skirts. They were beautiful, but I couldn't remember the last time I wore them. Standing on my tiptoes, I put a few of my pants and shorts on the shelves. Some of them were messed up, but I threw them in anyway. I was never any good at folding clothes. From there, I head into the bathroom to unpack all of makeup and other... Necessities.

I wonder if there's any dishes in the cupboards. Skipping off to the mini-kitchen, I went to check. Sure enough, there was. There was also food in the fridge! Am I supposed to live by myself, completely? I wonder to myself, checking out the other contents of the various drawers. The countertops were sparkling, and even inside the compartments of the kitchen, not a jar was out of place. Just the way it will stay, clean.

I fiddled with my phone, looking for my favorite playlist. Ah, found it.

Forgettable by Project 46 filled my ears.

I absentmindedly started to hum along to the song- This soon developed into quiet singing.

The song's beautiful and uplifting melody rejuvenated me. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, as I started organizing.

I adjusted a photo of me and my cat, trying to get it just right. I finally get it to sit at the right angle on the little counter beside the kitchen. As I subconsciously sung to the tune of my music, I stepped back to examine the angle of the frame. Suddenly, in between songs, I heard something behind me. It sounded kinda large- maybe mice? Huh, not if the cleaning team can help it. Really Evelyn, this is Stark towers. There won't be mice here. After ridiculing myself a bit more I turn around, thinking I might make some tea. I nearly screamed when I saw a figure in my doorway...

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existentialstatesofmind · 8 years ago

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Weekend Fun

Clare: laughed when he said they spent their winnings on food. "That's why I like playing for candy. No one questions where my supply of hershey's kisses, reese's, jolly ranchers and starbursts comes from. Well except the dentist." She nodded about Emi wearing a life preserver. Clare listened without commenting as Dakota explained how his grandpa would find girls for him to date when he was older. She supposed it wouldn't be that bad if he could weed them out himself. "You can treat it like a dating service. Lots of people use those. Then maybe it'd feel more normal." Clare suggested when he was through speaking. "I guess there's a downside to everything. I want to be a writer but I don't think I'd like it if I got famous and I had to worry about that kind of stuff. Privacy and the right to live my life the way I want are very important to me. When I turn 18, I won't have to follow my parents' rules anymore. I love them but I can't wait." She shrugged. "What about in the meantime? I mean if you find a girlfriend on your own does she have to meet your grandpa's requirements?" Clare understood he could forgo the prenup but she didn't care about that. She wasn't interested in money. Realistically Dakota would probably date several girls before he settled down. It had nothing to do with being a player. Finding the right person wasn't easy. But Clare wouldn't date a guy if their relationship was doomed from the start. She'd make sure they stuck to the just friends thing if that were the case. "Wow, that's crazy." Clare was puzzled when he asked for her phone but handed it over. She watched him run off and come back with a case. She hadn't been hinting around. "Oh Dakota. You didn't have to do that but thank you." She hugged him. "I'll be glad to tell anyone who asks. Monica wouldn't have given you away anymore than I will. I still think she likes you." Clare remembered what she'd overheard him tell Monica about the type of girl he'd date though. She smiled at what he said about designing a hoodie and taking draw classes with Emi. "Very cool." Clare ducked her head shyly at the mention of boxers. "I've never seen a guy in his underwear. You're not all going to walk around in your boxers, are you?" She muttered, blushing. At the restaurant she nodded at what Dakota's mother said. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to order and sides don't come with the shrimp, do they?" She apologized. Clare sighed at Dakota's explanation. "How serious is she about the prices thing? I probably messed it all up." She whispered to him. She wondered if he would be mad if she had to sleep in there since they wouldn't be doing anything. Not that Clare thought Dakota wanted to in the first place. But it would be awkward. Clare wasn't sure why Dakota looked at her when he finished answering Dallas' question. She didn't know what he should do with the money. Or even if he was looking for suggestions. But she'd try. "You could save it up until graduation and then take Emi on a trip. Or put the money away for her."

Kota: laughed a bit when Clare mentioned using candy. "We don't eat much candy. I like candy bars that are hard to find, Dallas doesn't eat too many sweets, Ash only eats candy on Easter and Halloween, and Dom just sells his, but he'll eat a candy bar when he's in the mood for it." he shrugged. He listened to Clare's suggestion and her talk after then, then nodded. "I'll have that at my grandpa's company when I take over. I want to keep my private life to myself and it's not like I'll be famous anyway. I'll be able to go in public without being recognized because the products, like now won't have my name on it. I'll just be the CEO and no one will know my face, but I'm responsible for whatever we put out." he explained. "No, my grandpa trusts me with my decisions. If I were to date someone and have her meet him, he'd automatically accept her until given a reason not to." he answered. "At most, he'll just look after her and get to know about her. If something seems off to her, he'll bring it up to me and ultimately it'll be my decision whether or not I'd want to terminate the relationship. He doesn't really have a say in it." he said and looked down for a moment. "But I want a girl who will be in it for the long run. I want my first girlfriend to be my last kind of like Dallas and Stacy. I know they'll end up together." he pointed out and wondered if he'd be lucky like his twin to end up with his first girlfriend. "I know I didn't have to, but this is better than the book bag in a sense. Besides if it breaks, I'll replace it." he shrugged "I can't really replace Monica's book bag." he said and looked at her phone. "The case is water proof and can take a beating. I put an old cell phone in one of them before coming out with what you have. We ran tests, throwing them in water, they can go in water, just that if you drop it in the ocean obviously it's gone. They can only go down so far before the pressure breaks the case, we haven't found out how far yet since we stopped at eight foot due to the fact no one's going to get a ten foot deep pool. I also threw it out a twenty story window and it survived the fall. The case got dented and ones before we finished snapped, came off once they hit the ground, cracked in two, etc. This one survived. Well not the exact case, but you know." he explained about the case. "If it gets sat on run over by a truck, it'll be fine and it's made out of rubber so it'll be fine if it's left out in the rain and gets hit with electricity. We tested that too and it wasn't easy, we had to tape it to a lightning rod." he added. When Clare blushed at the mention of him and his brothers in their boxers, he looked at her. "We haven't seen a girl in her underwear so it's ok. We don't have to walk around in our boxers during the morning. I mainly throw a shirt on and sweats." he shrugged. "The sides come with the shrimp since it's an entree." he pointed them out and leaned in. "No, you didn't screw it up. Trust me." he kissed her cheek and smiled when she spoke. "Sorry, I got mesmerized by something." he said honestly and looked at her. "I went to glance over to see if you were ok and I got mesmerized and stared off, sorry. But about your suggestion with Emi, I'd have enough money from work to do that, but you do make a valid point." he smiled at her.

#wf

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coileds-blog · 8 years ago

Conversation

Richard Siken Quote Starters

I woke up in the morning and I didn't want anything, didn't do anything, couldn't do it anyway.

I say I want you inside me and you hold my head underwater. I say I want you inside me and you split me open with a knife.

Vanity makes you say things like "I deserved a better life than this."

I sleep. I dream. I make up things that I would never say. I say them very quietly.

Your world doesn't make sense.

Someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure. I'm sure you remember, I was on the phone with you, sweetheart.

A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he's still left with his hands.

I've been in your body and it was a carnival ride.

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake and dress them in warm clothes again.

Love always wakes the dragon and suddenly, flames everywhere.

You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.

Is that too much to expect? That I would name the stars for you?

To them he is a mirror, but to you he is a room.

You want a better story. Who wouldn't?

Let's admit, without apology, what we do to each other.

If you love me, Henry, you don't love me in a way I understand.

He was pointing at the moon, but I was looking at his hand.

I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good.

Fairy tales have rules. You are a princess or you aren't.

You wanted to think of yourself as someone who did these kinds of things. You wanted to be in love and he happened to get in the way.

We have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven.

If this isn't a kingdom then I don't know what is.

Your body told me in a dream it's never been afraid of anything.

You swallow my heart and flee, but I want it back now, baby. I want it back.

Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

Everyone needs a place. It shouldn't be inside of someone else.

I'm sorry I came to your party and seduced you and left you bruised and ruined.

Everyone could see the way his muscles worked, the way we look like animals, his skin barely keeping him inside.

I'm pulling you out of the burning buildings and you say "I'll give you anything" but you never come through.

Dear Forgiveness, I saved a plate for you. Quit milling around the yard and come inside.

You wanted happiness, I can't blame you for that.

I swear, I end up feeling empty, like you've taken something out of me and I have to search my body for scars.

Oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued.

I do believe his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars.

He had green eyes, so I wanted to sleep with him. Green eyes flecked with yellow, dried leaves on the surface of a pool. You could drown in those eyes, I said.

Damn if there isn't anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills.

The entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time.

You play along, because you want to die for love, you always have.

You're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist.

Moonlight making crosses on your body, and me putting my mouth on every one.

I wouldn't kill your pony. I'd like to believe it, anyway.

Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don't, they'll die.

You're a train and I'm a train station and when I try to guess your trajectory I end up telling my own story.

The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I'm alive.

I'm just a writer. I write things down. I walk through your dreams and invent the future.

I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.

Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.

You looked at me long enough to see something mysterious under all the gruff and bluster. Thanks.

In the wrong light anyone can look like a darkness.

You just wanted to prove there was one safe place, just one safe place where you could love him. You have not found that place yet.

This is not harmless. You are not breathing.

Lesson number one -- be sneaky and have a plan.

I know history. There are many names in history but none of them are ours.

You know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn't do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn't matter anymore.

Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.

Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them.

When someone is trying to ditch you, kill you, never go back.

All wars are the same war.

We are all going forward. None of us are going back.

I'm not suggesting the world is good, that life is easy, or that any of us are entitled to better.

I wanted to be wanted and he was very beautiful, kissed with his eyes closed, and only felt good while moving.

Okay, so I'm the dragon. Big deal. You still get to be the hero.

Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It's like a religion. It's terrifying.

You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her and she leaves you and you're desolate.

Sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud.

Someone is digging your grave right now.

There's a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly.

Your co-workers ask if everything's okay and you tell them you're just tired.

Here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed.

At this point in the story so many things have gone wrong, so many bad decisions made, that it's a wonder anyone would want to continue reading.

Eventually something you love is going to be taken away.

I wanted to hurt you but the victory is that I could not stomach it.

Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more.

I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I say or love me back.

I am sad and angry and I want everyone to be alive again.

#THE SNAKE UNDER THE DOOR (MEMES);#(listen this poet is so important to me.)#(and this would be so beautiful to answer!)

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existentialstatesofmind · 8 years ago

Conversation

Weekend Fun

Clare: giggled. "Yeah well it's tiresome having people think of you as a saint." Of course Clare was a little scared she was going to get kicked out anyway because of her parents. Even though Christians were supposed to accept everyone, it didn't take much for some of them to turn their back on you. Back when the group called themselves Friendship Club, they had tried to take Darcy's purity ring away because people got the wrong idea when she'd been raped. Clare smiled and nodded. "Good to know. My family used to go church together at least two or three times a week but we've been missing services lately." Part of her wondered if God was mad at them. Her smile widened when Dakota told her a secret in return. She reached for his hand and gently squeezed it. "Ignore them." Clare murmured when his brothers seemed to find it hilarious that he was blushing without even knowing the reason. "You do know that's nothing to be ashamed of right? Please don't be one of those guys who wants to get a girlfriend just so he can have sex. I think you're better than that." She whispered. As Clare said it, she realized she really meant it. Dakota had girls throwing themselves at him all the time. If he was desperate to lose his virginity, he would've already hooked up with one of them. "I'm glad her mom was brave enough to help them get out of that situation. But even if they are safe now, what's going to happen when her dad comes back?" Clare asked soberly. No wonder Dakota's friend had been clingy, it didn't sound like she had anyone else to rely on or comfort her. Home was the one place were you were always supposed to feel loved and cared for. "You'll have to teach me if we have to clean. Even my mom doesn't do that thorough of a job. I just clean my room and help vacuum, mop, and dust. She does the rest." Clare turned red. "That isn't going to help me! Even they had different birthmarks, I wouldn't be pulling down their pants to check." She squeaked. Clare had already ruled out Dakota having more muscles as a telltale because she wasn't about to ask if she could feel his abs whenever she wanted to make sure he was the twin she was talking to. She laughed as Stacy explained about the video. "Oh wow, that is really cool! I haven't been swimming in awhile because it's still freezing outside." Clare pointed out. Her bikini tops didn't fit anymore either. She followed everyone into the kitchen once Dakota set the pizza on the table. Her stomach growled as the delicious smell wafted through the air. "Okay." Clare sat down and told Dakota which soda she wanted. She smiled at Dallas and Dakota. "Yeah, I think it's great." Clare bowed her head and put her hands together, saying the prayer along with everyone else. Once she had a couple of slices of the hot pizza on her plate, Clare immediately started eating it. "Mmm." She hummed appreciatively.

Kota: listened to Clare talk about home and church, he didn't say anything because they were in front of his family and he didn't know if Clare wanted them to know about her situation. He nodded when she told him to ignore them and listened to her whisper. "I know there's not. Ash and Dom are virgins too. Dallas isn't." he whispered honestly. "We just don't like everyone to know." he assured. Hearing Clare mention their dad coming back, he smiled at her. "He'll be gone for a year, when he does come back it'll be for the summer, she'll be here and sticking to me like glue because of the guys and her sister will be at her friend's for the summer." he explained. "After that he goes back and he already knows if he comes here I'll beat the crap out of him because I almost did. He tried to slap me and I caught his hand, then flipped him onto his back with my foot on his throat telling him not to mess with a black belt. he left after that." he explained. "I'll help you." he said honestly and laughed when she mentioned their birthmarks and pulling down their pants. "Sorry, it was a bit funny the way you said it." he apologized and listened as she mentioned not swimming in his while. "We went swimming on Christmas. Our pool and porch are both heated so we can go whenever we want. Emi, however is afraid of water so we're bringing her to the public pool in the summer." he explained. As they started to eat, he sat down and smiled as everyone conversed and looked over to Clare. "I'm glad you like it. This was supposed to be dinner." he admitted with a slight laugh. After they finished he watched Emi run and carry out his guitar. "May, May." she said handing it to him. "Stacy, join?" he asked taking it off her. He put the guitar strap around his neck and took a chair with him as Stacy did the same and everyone gathered on the couch and love seat. "Whole song?" Stacy asked. "No, not suited for Emi. It's too depressing." he said and started to strum a fast beat. "And s the sun went down we ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the window you screamed over the sound, as we owned this night I put your body to the test with mine. This love was out of control 3, 2, 1.. where did it go." he sang and strummed slower. "And she said." he sang. "If you were me you'd do the same. I can't take it anymore, I'll draw the sades and close the door, everything's not alright and I would rather..." Stacy sang and Kota strummed for a few moments picking up the beat. "And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the window, you screamed over the sound and as we owned this night I put your body to the test with mine. Our love was out of control, tell me where did you go." he sang as he strummed and soon stopped. "I was forced to take an elective in middle school and I was sick when we were picking them so the school automatically chose mine. Obviously I took guitar for the entire year. My mom walked in on me one night strumming on a guitar one night that I borrowed from school and heard me singing and immediately enrolled me in voice lessons saying there needed to be a singer in the family and since she wanted us to be talented in multiple things to make it easier to decide what we want to be when we grow up I didn't fight her. She's always telling us we can be whatever we want and no matter how many times we tell her we want to be something, enroll in a class and drop out because we don't like it, she smiles and tell us that it's ok. We don't need to have that profession. Our sister Kelly, she does ballet, tap, is a makeup artist, plays the violin, and figure skates." he said honestly. "As you already know Dallas and I can both do stunts, mixed martial arts, gymnastics, and karate. I skateboard which I taught myself it, play guitar, sing, and cook which my mom is teaching me." he said honestly. "Dom and I take art, there's a lot that can come out of it and we are quite sure if we're going to do anything with it, we both also take computers. I want to learn computer programming where as Dom right now wants to hack and do computer forensics which we both need to be better typists which we think everyone is a typist because in middle school our second elective was computers. The whole school had to learn how to type without looking at the keys everyone had it until they graduate. We want to continue it. We both also know hip hop dancing. I like playing sports though. Kota plays with me some times, but I like it more than he does, he just sees it as a work out." Ash shrugged. "I also like video games. Sometimes I'll play all night on the weekends to see how long it takes me to beat a game, then write the company about how they can make it better. I once got paid one summer to test out a video game. I beat it in a day." Dom shrugged. "I want to learn about medicine so I might take that in college." Dallas explained as all of them opened up to Clare.

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basiciinstinct-archive · 8 years ago