#apparently the running theme is I become more emotionally invested in the things that I dont think are good

[writers-lack-of-craft]

Reflection

1. Explain your choice of theme for the Chapbook.

My theme for this chapbook was the night-time, with elements of isolation. Although both things can and do exist separately, they often overlap. I decided on this theme because it is one I have known like the back of my hand or like a relative that is always over. I often find myself awake at barren times of the night and the feelings that frequently tag along are ones of isolation and loneliness. At certain hours of the night, you can feel so far away from everyone, even if they're sleeping just a few doors down from you.

2. How has your writing improved over the course of this class?

Reading over my creative writing pieces throughout my Writer's Craft notebook, I have found two major improvements: perspective and use of rhetorical devices. Firstly, I have noticed a difference in ability to write from a perspective that is not my own; whether that be a siren, dying 10-year-old, or disfigured monster, I have simply been able to do these characters more justice than I would have before. I have found myself more comfortable and immersed in the characters that I write about. Secondly, I have become more proficient in the proper use of rhetorical devices, especially metaphors. Not only do I use them more, they are used more appropriately/eloquently. These two things have brought my writing to a different level than the beginning of the course.

3. Which work have you been most proud of and why?

The work I have been most proud of so far would have to be either my Love/Hate poem or the "Awkward Silence" prompt. The Love/Hate poem, to me, was my most emotionally raw piece of writing. I exposed a vulnerable part of my life's history. When I was writing this poem I truly put myself back in that mindset, that mental space, that I was in from 2018-2020, which is the time period that this was written about. Especially when talking about the Hate, it really just flowed from a place of open wounds and I was able to articulate that without much effort because it was the truth, in its entirety. This poem, like much of the writing I have done in this course, allowed me to heal a part of myself that I believe I suppressed for a while.

On the other hand, my piece about breaking an awkward silence, aptly titled "Awkward Silence", pushed me out of comfort zone in terms of style of writing. It is a piece heavily centered around dialogue, both outward and internal. This prompt taught me a more realistic flow of writing everyday life, outside of the exceptional circumstances that I am so used to dealing with. It has made me a better writer. This was a piece I executed well because it felt like a conversation that would actually happen. I am proud of it, more specifically, because I was able to bring an idea to complete fruition in the way I wanted it to come out, voice, characters, and all.

4. State the mark out of 100 that reflects the quality of your summative. Justify your answers with 3 examples from your chapbook.

I believe I deserve a 85-90/100 for this chapbook. I would not say below this, likely due to the time invested and apparent effort. On the other hand, I would not give myself a higher mark to be realistic. I feel as though my writing may have, albeit unintentionally, fallen to the grasps of clichés (for example, "Control", the Sonnet). My creative writing in this chapbook, I would say, meets assignment requirements at a Level 4 standard and these pieces talk about shared human experiences that not many write about because of their 'mundane' nature (i.e. "What are you running from?" or "4:45 am"). I attempted to go above and beyond to procure an atmosphere on this page that matches my theme, and for those reasons, I think I deserve this grade.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Schumacher Phantom, Coppola Dracula, Black Swan, Labyrinth, Crimson Peak, IT 2017, Brides of Dracula, Moulin Rouge, Sommers Mummy, Sommers Van Helsing

Schumacher Phantom

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

A flawed adaptation of an already flawed musical. I’ll never not find it amusing that the self proclaimed Angel of Music can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

The movie’s gorgeous and I’ve watched it... an embarrassing number of times at this point. I first saw it when I was much younger and the issues I had with it then are pretty different from the issues I have with it now.

As an adult, I have a lot of trouble not focusing on Christine’s age and how much older her love interests are, but in an odd way that almost explains her glaring lack of agency (a carryover from the stage musical’s faults). If she’s so unassuming, so reactionary, it’s because of youth, etc. It makes for a fundamentally creepier and unsettling scenario, and actually, I would’ve been fine with the story exploring those themes... if they’d actually ever explored it. Or even deliberately invoked it in the first place.

Still, it’s beautiful to watch, and I definitely love to hate it.

Coppola Dracula

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

This is my favorite kind of awful film. Amazing cast and designers, grade A director, fantastic effects team... all working on absolute garbage. And hilariously (depressingly) enough, it’s just about the closest to canon adaptation we’ve gotten so far.

Of course the romance was predatory and awful, though as you mentioned before the first half is in some ways an excellent portrayal of an abusive relationship (even though that’s likely not the intended read of it)

I love how crass and awful Van Helsing is in this, even though it’s not really in character for his novel counterpart. He’s the best part of the movie for me. So delightfully awful.

Mina is unfortunately nothing more than a plot device. Her emotions and thoughts are entirely dependent on what’s convenient for the story. Though I unironically like the fraughtness of that one line in the blood sharing scene that goes something like “You killed Lucy; I love you.” It... doesn’t make sense in context but idk the concept of that kind of twisted, toxic feeling is intriguing to me.

Black Swan

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen it but I felt like my takeaway was far different from what the film makers intended. Regadless, Nina’s slow spiraling is difficult to watch and very well portrayed. Though given her work and home situation it’s not at all surprising, and just that much more upsetting to watch.

It seemed especially tragic that (iirc, again it’s been awhile) before the last show Lily reaches out to her and seems genuinely happy for her. All in all I wanted more from the movie, but what I did see was pretty thought provoking.

Labyrinth

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

It was definitely a favorite as a kid but I’ve grown out of it. The quote, “Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave,” has definitely stuck with me as the quintessential example of a conditional, impossible to satisfy relationship. I can’t say I even remember much about the larger context of the scene but I think about that one quote a lot.

Otherwise it’s a fun, over the top film. I’m still a sucker for that ball scene but the effects are kind of hard to look at now.

Crimson Peak

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

Yeah I have majorly mixed feelings about Crimson Peak. Killer aesthetic, most stilted script I’ve seen in a long time, appalling underlying message.

I love the concept but dislike every character in the story, except perhaps Lucille who’s pretty close to my heart. It doesn’t feel like a complete story to me, just a hastily cobbled together excuse for gothic romantic aesthetics and putting Doug Jones in more monster makeup.

It (2017)

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

I’ve read It before but lol I have the worst memory issues so I didn’t actually remember much of the plot going in. So I was somewhat surprised by the opening scene even though I could tell something bad was definitely about to happen. Even despite that clean slate expectation, it just felt too over the top and gory to get a real reaction out of me. I felt the same way about most scenes Pennywise was in. It was just... trying too hard.

The highlight of the film was definitely the scenes between the kids. And the more mundane peril they faced honestly felt worlds tenser than the haunting sequences. There was far more fear in that one scene with Beverly standing in front of her father in the hallway than in the entire film. Or even when the neighborhood bullies were chasing Ben.

Regardless the haunting scenes themselves imo were most effective when Pennywise was not himself visible. (The distorted children’s program, the sink scene, etc) I just... didn’t like him as a villain even though I suppose I get why, thematically, a killer clown preying on children could be compelling.

I had plenty of other issues with it but I can’t think of them off the top of my head.

Brides of Dracula

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

Technically I’ve seen it. But I can’t remember anything. Generally though, I love Peter Cushing, and even moreso him as Van Helsing. And I’m almost always a fan of Hanmer horror’s specific brand of cheesy.

Moulin Rouge

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

It’s very silly up until it gets sad. Definitely has a ton of issues and hasn’t aged that well but I can overlook it for the kitsch.

And honestly nothing beats out Tango de Roxanne in terms of sheer cinematic drama.

Sommers Mummy

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

I just remember liking it when I was younger. Don’t recall many details. Rachel Weiss’ eyebrows deserved better though.

Sommers Van Helsing

never seen | want to see | terrible | boring | okay | good | great | a favorite

I actually only saw this for the first time around a year ago. It’s a great deal of fun and I’ll never get over how the comical brides’ hissing scene is near identical to the Coppola’s films. A good deal of my enjoyment likely stemmed from early 2000s nostalgia, even though I do usually like silly things.

Either way, an Indiana Jones type Van Helsing is just a hilarious concept. And I love how Dracula just went ham the entire time, complete with constant dramatic hissing.

Thanks for the ask!

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 114

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 16 - “Dreams, Hopes, and Kenta’s Worries!” Date watched: 20 April 2019 Original air date: 21 May 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/9tLWpZb Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Kenta overhears Avengers: Endgame spoilers

I’m not sure if Splash Star is a bit more on-the-nose with its life lessons than FW/MH were, or if I’m just more acclimated than I was when watching those seasons, but this is another episode with a very clear moral theme, and also parallels to an episode of Max Heart... and a conclusion that almost (almost) undercuts the whole thing.

Kenta is in a bit of a slump, and after some pressing from Saki, he admits that he overheard his parents having a conversation that seems to be about how they want him to take over running the boat rental shop eventually. He takes this to mean that they don’t really believe in or care about his dream of being a professional comedian, and he’s not sure what to do next. Mai mentions that her brother’s dream is to become an astronaut, which her whole family found silly at first, but when they realized he was serious, they decided to support him fully. Kenta is unconvinced, so Saki suggests they all go to Mai’s place after school and talk to Kazuya directly. Meanwhile, the Kiryuu sisters are eerily standing behind a door, listening to all of this, confused about the concept of pursuing dreams.

creepers gonna creep

Kenta doesn’t see any value in this, convinced that his dream is over and his parents don’t care, but Saki drags him along to Mai’s house anyway.

that wasn’t hyperbole, she literally drags him

The talk with Kazuya is less inspiring than they might have hoped, as he admits that his dream may not come true, but he’s got to work for it or it will definitely never come true. Kenta is still not very convinced and goes home to ruminate on it.

The next day at school, he’s still feeling down, and Saki calls him out on this. They argue for a minute and he says he’s already given up on his dream before storming off. Michiru speaks up from behind a surprised Saki to ask if she thinks dreams are really that important, because the twins don’t think they are. Kaoru starts to speak up about her own dream....

homework, sports, world destruction, you know, the usual.

You may have noticed Dorodoron creeping in the background of that shot as well. He did not go unnoticed by the sisters, and after Saki walks off he talks with the two of them and asks that they not get in his way today, as he has his own dream.... to defeat the Precure and become Akudaikaan’s right hand man.

((doubt))

Saki isn’t letting Kenta’s depression get her down though, and she goes to an extra training session after softball practice and works her heart out. Mai similarly decides to live in the moment and put her all into her drawing at the art club. Kenta watches the softball practice and cheers on Saki, starting to reconsider her words. Saki’s training is interrupted by Dorodoron of course, who has an Uzainaa made out of pipes that shoots mud. Saki is angry at him for interrupting when she was trying her hardest, which he responds to with scorn. Mai quickly appears and the pair transform. Without missing a beat, the monster shoots mudballs at them, which they block with their spirit power but are visibly weakened. Dorodoron taunts them, since he chose this time to attack thinking Saki would be weak after expending all her energy in practice. (That’s actually smart!) Unfortunately for him, he’s just pissed the girls off, and they respond that nothing is impossible for them if they never give up! Then they knock the Uzainaa on its ass before blowing it away with Twin Stream Splash. At least he tried!

After the dust settles, Saki wakes up a sleeping Kenta and he admits that watching Saki practice has reinvigorated his interest, and he vows to take the first step towards his dream that day. Saki and Mai follow him home, where he confesses to his parents that he really wants to be a comedian and he can’t take over their shop. They’re confused, because they never had any doubts about his future or any expectation that he would take over the business, and it turns out the conversation he overheard was about them leaving for a weekend vacation, where he’d be needed to man the shop, but not a permanent takeover. Oops.

MECHOKKU - wait am I allowed to say that this early?

The trio go out on the dock to absorb this information, which mainly consists of Kenta moping while Saki and Mai can’t stop laughing at his misunderstanding.

He does say, though, that this has set him on his path, and tomorrow at school he’ll take his first step toward his dream.

The next day, the two friends are wondering what Kenta’s “first step” could be as they arrive to see a crowd of students around the entrance to the school.

It turns out Kenta is in the middle, recruiting for his new Comedy Club! He makes some absolutely terrible jokes and the episode ends on a still of him laughing.

Obviously, the theme of this episode is pursuing your dreams, no matter what, and hey, even the villain gets in on it!

I can list several reasons that’s not likely to happen

They touch on a point Max Heart once made that you don’t have to know exactly where you want your life to go, just pursue your interests right now. Mai’s brother Kazuya is, as usual, a dispensary of good advice on the subject, and it’s always pleasant to see him. Maybe I’ve just seen too many misunderstanding plots lately, but I really don’t like the fake-out at the end where Kenta’s foks reveal that he misunderstood. At the very least, I wish they’d resolved the misunderstanding earlier, or started it later. Maybe have the episode start with Kenta struggling with comedy and thinking about giving it up, and then in the middle he overhears the conversation about him taking over which gets him in a downer mood. It was just super obvious to me, given his limited understanding of the situation and how vague the conversation he overheard was, that all was not as it seemed, and that undercut my ability to get invested in Kenta’s concerns. Self-doubt is a powerful feeling, and I’m all for it being explored, I just wish it came from a more emotionally resonant source.

This is mainly Kenta’s episode, but Saki has a large role in motivating him, intentionally or unintentionally. The episode opens with her at softball practice, doing catching in the outfield and missing a bunch of balls. The coach tells her to do extra practice after school, which is what she’s doing the following day when Dorodoron attacks. She’s not doing her best, which is why she vows to work hard at her goal of becoming a better softball player. It’s Saki’s drive and commitment that really helps encourage Kenta to talk to his parents and move forward in pursuing his comedic dreams. She also, to a lesser degree, encourages Mai’s artistry. That is Pink Precure Energy. There’s a particular scene that stuck out at me because of the tone and use of music, and that’s Saki’s after-training practice with her coach, catching balls in the outfield. It’s not a long montage, but it is  moving, and punctuated with a lovely song from the soundtrack called “Konjou, Konjou, de Konjou!” or “Spirit, Spirit, Lots of Spirit!” It’s a marching theme with drums and heavy brass and while it’s been used before in the show and will be used again, it stood out to me more in this scene than usual. It’s that perfect blend of visuals and music that just sells how hard Saki is working to improve herself, and in turn motivating Kenta. Give it a watch:

Michiru and Kaoru don’t have a lot to do in this episode, but they are fun when they appear. The shot of them eavesdropping on Saki, Mai, and Kenta’s conversation on the school balcony is visually interesting because of the use of distance. Not only is there a physical wall separating them, but they’re also a good distance down the walkway, which speaks to the amount of separation between them and the heroines, despite their apparent closeness. Also they’re cast in shadow, and I don’t think that’s just because they’re indoors.

Reading even more into it (probably too much, I don’t know how deep the symbolism goes here), the sliver of light on their faces may represent their growing curiosity about the Land of Greenery and its residents and their behaviors, and lack of loyalty to Dark Fall. In other words, it’s a sign of the light within them starting to shine. But again, maybe I’m reading too much into that. It’s fun to speculate though. Normally they would try to hatch a plot to undermine the girls’ dreams or otherwise disrupt their day, but today they stay out of it. Sure, it’s partly because Dorodoron asked them to, but they didn’t show any indication that they were going to launch an attack (or tell him what to do to get to them). Their observations of the humans and their kindness seem to be having an effect.

But also this bit is hilarious, when Saki is like “Don’t you two have dreams?” Michiru is like “not really” but Kaoru says “Yes” and Michiru just looks over at her in confusion, before she starts to say “My dream is to destroy -”

Michiru’s face is priceless and she quickly ushers Koaru away before she can reveal that they’re evil. Somehow Saki didn’t pick up anything.

There’s a few examples of really unique camera angles that I want to showcase real quick, but I don’t have much to say about them.

They all happen back to back and I’m not sure what the intent was except just to avoid the usual shot/reverse shot for this conversation with Kazuya.

Also you may notice that the characters are looking a little sloppy. The art is not up to par this episode, especially in the mid- and wide angles.

I remember reading somewhere that poor quality control on the artwork and a slow plot led to a ratings slump in the show that they never quite recovered from, even when the storyline picked up (around this part really). I’ll look more into that. The art is noticeable but not awful, and of course we’ve seen much worse. So much worse.

Never forget

I think I’ve exhausted everything I wanted to say about this episode. It’s a nice turning point for the show. Next time, Mai and her mother have a heart to heart. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Zekkouchou Nari. There was a “Zekkouchou” on its own, by Kenta (as part of a joke) but I’m not counting that.

Miracle Drop Count: 3

[vaguely-concerned]

empire of ivory here we go!

previous temeraire let’s read here

- um excuuuuse me I have waited two books for us to come back home to britain to see everyone again and now everything is awful and shitty and scary and my fave is leaving and nothing’s how it should be??? no??? this is unfair??????

- tharkay NO please don’t go everything provably goes to hell whenever you leave D:D:D:

(to be fair to him I guess it’s understandable to want some time alone to process the absolute outrageous bullshit he just pulled for a guy he’s known for like four months)

he used his page time well tho; instantly convincing roland of his worth and making her laugh... giving laurence his cup of tea b/c he looked like he needed it more... telling laurence that he’s leaving because he promised to do that much at least... truly the best boy, off to fetch more dragons apparently because it wasn’t quite crazy enough the first time

- god I love jane roland, I’m so glad my two faves got along instantly, between them they could... maybe protect laurence from himself? at least a little??? I can but dream

- I think this is the most emotionally invested I’ve been in a piece of media since that time I spent a few months completely incoherent over uncharted, and naughty dog very kindly held my heart in their hands and chose to be gentle with it in the end but I am not so sure that is how it’s going to be for this series and I am Not Prepared for the suffering

- I love whenever laurence thinks uncomfortably about one of the various and sundry atrocities committed by the government he’s still pledged all his loyalty to. yes william maybe the british empire... is in fact not good and has enough blood on their hands to dye the ocean red. I can’t wait until he connects the dots here (and presumably has a pretty intense crisis if faith about it because it seems like one of the loadbearing structures of his character... actually no wait I’m not ready to see this D:D:D:)

- the little details like the fact that he just calls bb!roland ‘emily’ and harcourt becomes ‘catherine’ so easily in his narration now are so so sweet  

- lord allendale is one of those dudes who have good politics but is a shitheel to his family and I want to smack him

laurence being the mortified poster boy of this party, though? priceless, imagine coming up with a protagonist this effortlessly involuntarily hilarious, it’s the mark of true genius

- I don’t usually quibble over things like this, but I think the edit for this fourth book specifically is a bit lacking? I’ve come across a lot of mistakes even my dumb ass can pick up on already, and I’m only a hundred pages or so in

- caught between crying and cackling at this part b/c like laurence I’m  d e v a s t a t e d  at the thought of temeraire getting sick but also temeraire is just like cheerfully getting laid the whole time

also how did none of the aviators think to give laurence The Talk about giving his dragon The Talk, you all know what he’s like

- oh thank god

- I have spent half of today crying about dragons coughing, how are you this fine evening good reader

- btw this series fills a hole in my soul left by jkr giving me all those tantalizing hints of different types of dragons in ‘fantastic beasts’ and never following up on it

- tharkay may not be here but laurence just mentioned him like once in his narration so let’s take the excuse to reminisce about the good old days (when tharkay was here)... remember that time when the one of his own jokes he laughed openly at was about lawyers and laurence frankly should have responded better b/c it was kind of funny and sadly temeraire doesn’t have the worldly experience to know it yet.... aaah precious, he truly is a sardonic blessing to my heart and deserves the world

okay back to our regularly scheduled content   

- riley why u gotta b such a bitch about this

(I love how laurence is constantly doubting himself over this tho, as if he’s done something wrong in this situation... like honey baby if there’s one thing worth breaking a friendship over it’s probably them being cool with slavery lol. it shows how much laurence has grown, considering that this disagreement has always existed between them but he used to be willing to just overlook it... I’m so proud of you laurence)

also lol @ berkely coming in to tell them everyone can hear them, I have a desperately soft spot for him and maximus. just the image of both of them turning to him ‘united in appalled indignation’ like ‘excuse you???’ and him giving exactly zero fucks... *chef kiss emoji*

- most important information revealed in this book: a) dragons are not widely considered to have committed original sin, thank you reverend erasmus and b) laurence has taken time out of his day at some point to worry about it b/c he’s a dork

(this is the sort of world building I am hopelessly weak to lol)

- gong su tricking temeraire into eating in the most melodramatic way possible... god bless you chef

- fkjhsadkjfhsdkjalhfaskjldhf laurence judging chenery for what he’s wearing while going out into the jungle in full uniform hat included himself... I caaaaan’t

- demane has only appeared on three pages so far but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this book and then myself

- ‘average dragon speaks one million languages’ factoid actualy statistical error. Temeraire Linguist Georg, who wants a pavilion thank you very much & learns over 10,000 languages each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted <3<3<3

(I love that temeraire is like... a nerd dragon with a hopelessly jock captain)

- laurence effortlessly rating the relative hotness of the other male aviators to try to suss out who harcourt has slept with fjsaldfhsdkljafh do you ever hear yourself think william

like this is the thing about him it’s so easy to headcanon him as bi b/c he can be so mindbogglingly oblivious it’s entirely possible he literally wouldn’t even have noticed until someone smacked him over the head with it

- see I’m very happy they found the cure but I don’t fucking trust it b/c the pattern of these books tends to be to give you one moment of ‘oh phew everything is going to be okay’ about 2/3 into the story and THEN everything goes to hell and fifty pages later laurence is dissociating and napoleon has conquered prussia 

- THERE WE GO RIGHT ON SCHEDULE

temeraire is never going to let laurence go anywhere without him again and rightly so

- hasn’t mrs erasmus been through enough. can’t she just be allowed to chill 

- this is really cool world building but I’m too stressed out to appreciate it

really enjoy the description of architecture tho this sounds so awesome

- sfahdfklsahdfksjda laurence making sure his clothes are as washed and presentable as possible... I can’t with you you beautiful idiot

- TEMERAIRE OH MY GOD IS HE HERE IS LAURENCE HALLUCINATING PLS SAY HE’S ACTUALLY HERE

- ...well I mean if anyone has a freudian excuse for being kind of dickish I guess it would be these guys? it’s actually pretty chill of them to only flog one of them (laurence, because he just can’t play it any way but stupid lawful good at every turn) and not just killing them all I guess, they kept them fed and stuff

- oh thank god

- temeraire you are the most darling dragon boy and I love you

I was really really worried for a moment there that the reference to the Colosseum was a not-so-subtle hint they would have to gladiator fight to the death but thankfully they were basically just calling in a parliament

- DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STAB A CHILD IN THE STOMACH?? I HOPE HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE DICK AND DIES pls say demane is going to be okay

- aw okay finally something good for mrs erasmus I will take it

- laurence you useless fool of a narrator is demane okay?? 

- god roland is just so cool naomi novik really gave us a jovial butch silver fox aviator lady huh... she did that for us and I for one am full of gratitude

- oh thank GOD (hm I sense a running theme here lol) the kid is going to be okay I can breathe again

- iskierka the pirate captain + temeraire’s reaction... perfect

- ;____________; I would lay down my life for temeraire and also that’s a gutpunch of a moodswing... the perfect hilarity of ‘that is an ugly hill’ immediately followed by That... jesus

- awww every time volly shows up again is a joy (temrer!!!)

- laurence... laurence you need to stop asking people to marry you because you never actually really fucking mean it!!!!! have you learned nothing about yourself since book 1, trust your goddamn instincts for once in your life you and roland have been doing perfectly okay thus far as like... affectionate fuckbuddies right? 

(her reaction was priceless tho god bless)

- aaaah there we go the british government is looking more like itself... welcome to the world of realpolitik laurence I’m really sorry :(

- “It is only dragons, you know” JANE ROLAND WTF DID YOU JUST SAY

- “This government is not of my party; my king is ill and mad; but still I am his subject. You have sworn no oath, but I have.” He paused. “I have given my word.”

:) this is... fine

(like. I know this is necessary character growth and he’s basically been a waste of a good man in service to a government like this the whole time and the writing’s been on the wall since book 1 but I don’t want this to be happening to hiiiiim)

- tfw... ur dragon boi is so good... that being anything less than good for him in turn is unthinkable...................... b o i

- ...jane doesn’t really know him very well if she didn’t see this coming from a mile off tho does she

I mean I guess she has other stuff to think about but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone

- remember when he thought the entire corps was weird and now he’s finally at home there... and has to leave it behind :):):) super extra fine is what this is

- yeah okay laurence definitely has a crush on ol’ bonaparte noting that down lol he’s all but blushing after that kiss on the cheek 

also... if you just overlook the dictator thing for a moment is napoleon wrong about what he’s saying tho. (no and not even laurence is prepared to say so he’s just going to go back there and get murdered anyway b/c idk lawful good is dumb as fuck sometimes I guess)

It’s really cool how the author shows that napoleon has a better handle on laurence’s psychology after barely meeting him than a lot of people he’s known for years now, though, really adds to his menace and appeal as a character

- wow uh that’s one way to end a book... it’s actually tipped over from tragedy into a strange sort of hilarity for me now: he literally got sued out of his life’s earnings for being a decent human being, committed treason for the same reason and is about to be hanged for thinking genocide might have been a step too far -- in the span of thirty pages. I believe ‘that escalated quickly’ is not too much of an exaggeration here

- SIPHO IS GONNA WRITE BOOKS ONE DAY YOU GUYS!!!! I PROUDLY WELCOME OUR SECOND NERD TO THE CREW

 - I think this one might be my least favorite so far? not that I disliked it, it’s just the one that’s hit the worst by the fact that there’s not always that much time spent with the cultures central to the book; tswana seems really interesting but because of the way the plot played out and our limited perspective though laurence it just didn’t work for me? the cool shit comes in sipho’s book at the end, like how thoroughly they kicked the europeans out of the coast of africa, which is very cathartic (I will say that most of the second book being set on the ship and then only a sliver of it is actually in china annoyed me too haha) 

I have the distinct feeling this book is setting up for some Misery and breaking of the pattern a bit in the next one though, which will be interesting! ONWARDS TO MORE PAIN AND LAURENCE IS ALREADY PASSIVELY SUICIDAL FROM THE OUTSET SO LIKE... I’M SURE THIS WILL BE REAL FUN :)

maybe my boy will be back tho? silver linings silver linings clinging to some silver linings

[96percentdone]

Anon if you’re wondering why I’m doing it like this it’s because I don’t want this showing up in the shi//rog//ane searches. I am going to rail very hard on her character. If you like her, you were warned.

To be quite frank I think literally anyone would have made a more interesting ringleader. Okay, that’s a lie. Except for Ouma and Harumaki and Yonaga, I think anyone else would have made a better ringleader. I’m gonna explain why, first starting briefly with why I think Ouma and Harumaki would have made worse ringleaders.

Ouma is quite simple: his entire character gimmick is “pretending to be an obvious mastermind only to end up NOT being the mastermind and is fundamentally against the killing game to begin with.” This is is just too good to ruin. Harukawa’s is less complicated in that she’s an assassin, so making her the ringleader would be boring and obvious. Like yeah okay of course the surprise assassin was the organiser of the killing game big fuckin whoop. And finally Yonaga, and the big reason for that is her character gimmick is “scary exotic foreigner” and cults and it’s a lot of racist shit and tbh I think even if you took a lot of that out, making the one foreign coded character (in a Japanese environment) your ringleader is asking for trouble. Don’t do that. 

The biggest reason I think shi//ro//gane fails not only as a DR mastermind, but as a character, is because she’s boring as shit and has no personality. It’s not even an accident she has no personality. in v3 characters tend to revolve around a gimmick, and her gimmick is literally being a non-entity. She constantly talks about being plain, and for most of the game her big thing each chapter is just...going with the gimmick of the chapter. That and she makes anime references that feel kind of forced and personally not how people tend to make references. And then in her big chapter, where she was the revealed to be the mastermind, she spends most of it pretending to be other pre-existing characters with more personality. 

Some people think the center of her personality is on fandom, and it’s a commentary on it, and on passion. To which I say: fucking where. Okay, I understand exactly where that potential lies, and in her free time events there’s definitely more of that. But I personally think that if I need to read the free time events (which are entirely optional you could play v3 without ever doing a fte, nevermind specifically hers) to feel like a character has a personality, then you didn’t write a well written character. 

What is there in the main story to suggest this? She makes constant poorly done anime references, and there’s one forced fanservice consplay scene. I’m blown away by this. It never feels like this is important to her, because it’s always played as like a joke or an event where her talent is just the excuse for fanservice in the ch1 scene. What else is there? Does she talk about her love for fandom and cosplay? Is she looking for excuses to dress people up in her various cosplays in the main story? No! Fuck I mean we even unlock her room and the mandatory conversation you have with her with that weird ass cg is about her bar life, not her fandom life. Like they go out of the way to not talk about it meaningfully in the one place it would be more than apt to do so. Seriously?

Chapter 6 is better at making her fandom commentary. You could argue that her constantly shifting into previous characters and rambling on and on about her love of dangan ronpa is fandom commentary. And yeah I guess it is. But it’s weak as fuck. It’s backed by like jack shit from the earlier chapters, and she has to talk about this because this is the big plan for ch6. It’s the ch6 gimmick! And then ch6 is an inconsistent mess of lies and contradictions that canon can’t explain, and she says some things (like the cosplaycat killer line) that imply she faked all that too so like. More following the chapter’s gimmick? would you believe? I would!

That’s the big problem with Shi//ro//ga//ne. Her gimmick is her entire personality, and that gimmick is not having one. That’s why she just does the big thing of every chapter, that’s why she’s so forgettable and doesn’t stand out and is “plain”, that’s why she constantly cosplays as other dr characters, and that’s why at the end of the chapter she goes “haha I pulled another great trick” without elaborating. Her thing is having no existing personality. Just being whatever the story needs. And maybe someone out there will be like “but that just shows her passion for DR and--” no. No what it is is just cheap and lazy writing, and again possibly not even true. 

And this has bad effects on writing a meaningful mastermind, particularly since we spent the entire game with her. She does nothing the entire time and doesn’t stand out, and particularly with v3′s writing where characters generally only become important in the chapter they die, by the time you get to ch6 it’s so obvious she’s going to be the ringleader. Harukawa’s had an arc (albeit a shitty one), Yumeno had an arc, Saihara is your protag for realsies who had an arc (albeit half-assed and not focused on what would have made it strong), and Kiibo is clearly having his big moment right now, so that leaves Shir//o//gane being saved up for something huge. Like the ringleader. She becomes obvious because she’s nothing. And then her reveal means nothing because she had no personality to get invested in because her gimmick was having no personality. And also they do nothing with her and chapter six is a poorly written garbage fest that makes no fucking sense.

She’s a bad mastermind because she’s a bad character, and she’s a bad character because her personality is a nonexistent thing that’s entirely up for grabs since she’s faked it all and her gimmick is just not being an interesting person. 

And this makes effectively anyone else a better ringleader, because anyone else in the game has more to their personality than she does. I’ll even explain why everyone excluding the previously mentioned three will make better antagonists before getting to my main ideal pick. In order of deaths!

Amami: he’s a mystery man right? that kinda seems to point against him but like play up the he died first trying to stop the killing game angle and it turns out he faked it or something just to get it started. He could take or leave killing Akamatsu off, but she chose trial, so she had to go. revise his videos a little so he looks a little sketchy, but even more like a victim trying to do good.

Akamatsu: if you just take out the fuckin “she has a twin bit” in ch6 and have it turn out she faked like her entire execution just so she looks like she’s entirely uninvolved, only to turn out she did kill Amami but with entirely different means, would that be cool or what? like it’d be the triple Akamatsu twist whammy. also wouldn’t waste her as a character cause she wouldn’t die for manpain to be your wife.

Hoshi: so yeah he’s kinda got the “I’m depressed because i’ve killed” shit working against him but you can easily rework that into a big old lie (hey look it’s the themes of the game some more wild). he’s still depressed in real life but his outlet for that was violence, so killing game.

Toujou: literally she gets power hungry and sick of constantly having to tend to the whims of everyone around her. her loving serving people was the big lie. she’s more interested in serving herself and the audience. Simple. Effective. Subverts her character in a meaningful but still relevant way.

Chabashira: she’s super honest and open about her emotions right? To an almost childlike way? fuck yeah you could make that ringleader shit. She wants to bring out the best in people emotionally, except she actually thinks the best way to do that is trauma. But she doesn’t really actually care about your emotional wellbeing, and that becomes apparent throughout the trial. her big fuckin lie. amazing.

Shinguuji: see this is tough and i’m tempted to put him in the not-mastermindable category because of chapter 3 which was. eugh. But okay see we’re just gonna take out all the weird incest serial killer shit. shinguuji’s gimmick anyway is that he’s detached and more interested in observing the people around him like an onlooker than he is partaking. smart but doesn’t give much a shit. this is easily played up to ringleader levels just. “I wanted to put humans in a society I made myself to play god and observe them to my heats content” simple. not as thematic, but hey it’s consistent.

Iruma: okay so canonically. Iruma is kinda a bitch. I mean this positively she’s kinda funny even if the sex jokes gross me out. She’s paranoid and kinda narcissistic and super weak to criticism and bites people in an attempt to make them not bite her. So what if it turns out like that’s just...fake. she’s actually just rude mean and crude not as some kinda backwards defense mechanism (we’re taking out the kink) it’s just because she likes being mean and crude. She seems so weak willed as a person but it turns out she orchestrated and “invented” the killing games just to keep attention on her and put people through hell. I’m not totally confident in this one I’m sure others can come up with better but fuck I mean it’s not shi//ro//ga//ne.

Gokuhara: this is easy he’s not actually a gentleman at all! it’s a big lie! a ploy to make him sympathetic and likeable! He went along with Ouma’s shit just because he thought it was amusing! The world at large decided he couldn’t be a gentleman, so he decided to be the biggest brute you can find and run killing game where he makes himself look good in comparison to everyone else. you’d have to rewrite ch6 a lot but it’d be better than canon anyway lmfao

Momota: now Momota’s my second favourite ringleader choice not gonna lie. This is just because the narrative plays him up as your shsl best friend and you get very invested in him (despite his uh....glaring toxic masculinity problems which we’re taking out because they add nothing to his character). His big thing is being a supportive believer. a shounen protag. but it’s all bullshit! Have the real Momota be the audition tape asshole. Or he doesn’t even have to be that it’s just his big thing will be that huge punch of betrayal that won’t compare except for with my #1 pick. But we’ll get to them very soon.

Kiibo: Y’know those posts that talk about how AIs are actually going to be very pure with their best interest in being serving humanity? I want that for Kiibo, but in a super warped and twisted way. Kiibo in his desire to be seen as a human and respected by them, starts feeding the twisted desires of the masses with the torture porn they crave in the form of a killing game, because this will make him be accepted as one of them. But he still ends up being a kind of subservient AI who never escapes that role, so now the killing game runs partially on hate, and partially on the thin remains of hope he has. I think this is kinda fun.

Yumeno: Yumeno is great because she has that whole arc where she learns to be open with her feelings and honest with herself right? Well we’re gonna make that just. a big old lie. She just doesn’t give a shit, so fuck it she’ll do this killing game shit too.

And finally, top pick: Saihara. Saihara would be the literal best option. Keep the protagonist switch. Akamatsu dies, we take Saihara as protagonist now. He gets played out basically the same. We play thinking we’re playing an insecure detective with some issues with the truth (and some issues with lies that aren’t capitalised on as well but hey that’s not actually entirely necessary for this scenario). We think Saihara is trying to carry on Akamatsu’s wish, because he says he would, and he solves all the cases and seems to be interested in saving everyone.

But...it’s a lie. Like in chapter 1 we were playing with an unreliable narrator the whole game. Saihara’s focus on the mystery versus trying to guarantee their lives in the game now gets played for “of course he’s focused on those this is his show. It’s what he lives for.” Saihara created a killing game to have an endless set of murder mysteries to solve, and he doesn’t really care about the people, but their potential in creating a good story. Maybe he’s even the pre-game fanboy too if we’re keeping that trick. And the narrative insisting on framing him as good through the use of the cast becomes a clever trick to hide his motivations.It’d be another unreliable narrator, and the best way to capitalize on the themes of the game. More lies. 

Not to mention it would make the Akamatsu thing especially brutal, because you play as him to frame her for a crime it will turn out she did not actually commit. The replay value of the game at LARGE would be through the roof, all because of this trick. It’d be fucking fascinating, and it would just destroy dangan ronpa formula. We’ll have not only a murder protagonist, but a mastermind protagonist. Listen. LISTEN. This is the best possible ringleader selection. I will fight you. dkgjrngdjkn

Okay I went on long enough we’re gonna call it a day. I hope this more than answered your questions!

[andrcmedawrites]

Birth Chart This birth chart report shows the positions of the planets for Sybill . The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy. Sun in Pisces As the twelfth and last sign of the zodiac, Pisces contains within itself a little experience of all the signs. This gives Pisces Suns the ability to identify with people from all walks of life–from all backgrounds–in some way. These individuals are not only changeable and adaptable, they have open minds and tremendous understanding. But Pisces itself is often misunderstood. Pisces Suns may spend a good portion of their lives yearning for understanding, and the other part in a state of divine discontent. Suffering is sometimes glamorized in the Piscean world. Sun in Pisces people are frequently pegged as wishy-washy, but this is all a matter of opinion. What you will find behind a vaguely directionless, spacey manner is a deep person with real dreams. Their dreams are more than getting that picket fence or making it up the corporate ladder. Pisces are tuned in to a higher purpose and their dreams transcend the individual. A deep love for humanity, and compassion that knows no bounds is found with this placement of the Sun. Pisceans are not known to be cutthroat business types, nor are they given to throwing themselves out into the world in an aggressive manner. But make no mistake about it, Pisces can be extraordinarily successful when given the chance to express themselves. The arts, marketing, music, teaching, drama, healing arts…these are all fields in which Pisces can find expression. Their imagination, attunement to humanity, and remarkable intuition endow them with enviable gifts of insight and creativity. Pisces is a sensitive sign–both sensitive to criticism and sensitive to others’ feelings. Easily touched by human suffering, at least in theory, Pisces wouldn’t hurt a fly. They believe in people, are deeply hurt by compassionless human behavior, and have a hard time saying no. Harsh realities are avoided either through escapist behavior or self-delusion; but every now and again reality does raise its ugly head, and hits Pisces over the head. This is a sad time indeed. Pisces retreats into their own world, self-pitying and giving pep talks to themselves (“I will never trust again!”). Rest assured, though, that these periods are rather short-lived and even useful. Pisces seems to derive energy from their (generally short) bouts of self-pity. They come back stronger, with a spring in their step, ready to face the world again, and just as, if not more, compassionate and trusting as they were before. Some might even wonder if Pisces finds pleasure in suffering. Sometimes this is the case, but most of the time, Pisces pulls a lot of creative energy from sadness. Pisces is the poet or artist with angst, although this trait is often more apparent with Moon in Pisces. Some find Pisces’ tendency to be late for appointments, spaced out behavior, and absent-mindedness amount to irresponsibility. Pisces would be shocked to know this, however. Who me? Pisces wonders. Irresponsible? Pisces Suns absolutely care–their love knows no bounds–but their retreats from ordinary life (whether they are as simple as daydreams or actual departures) that they so seem to need every now and again are not always understandable to no-nonsense signs, such as Virgo or Aries. Many Pisces seem almost allergic to things like shopping lists, maps, directions, and instructions, and for some brave souls, even watches – they prefer to feel their way through life than to follow some plan. We find plenty of artists, poets, and musicians with Sun (and other personal planets) in Pisces. Piscean themes are woven throughout the songs of Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, for example. Short description: She is compassionate and sentimental. She likes isolated occupations: administration, archives, history. Spirit of self-sacrifice. Weaknesses: tendency to be led astray, lack of experience or inability to apply experience practically. Lethargy, over-sensitivity and emotionalism. Pisces ascendant Libra Sun in V You want to be noticed for your unique and special qualities and your creativity. You are happiest when you are expressing yourself in a special way and attention comes your way as a result. You have a flair for drama and/or sports. You are proud of your fun-loving attitude towards life. As you demonstrate your ability to shine, avoid grabbing center stage all of the time. Your happy disposition is enough to get noticed, but do find creative ways to express yourself, as this is the path to true happiness for you. -143 Opposition Sun - Moon You have an internal struggle between your needs and your wants. You can lack focus and be indecisive as a result. Your ability to be objective is both an asset and a liability, simply because when you decide on one route, you are pulled in another direction at the same time. Something tugs at you, and you begin to question your stance. “But what if…” and “on the other hand…” are statements you can’t help but make, and that might plague you. You are always aware of the opposing point of view and the other side of the coin. 95 Conjunction Sun - Mercury Because your ego and your mind are aligned, you possess much mental energy. You are always in a position to think about what you want, and in many ways, this is an interruption of the will. You are highly intelligent with a great drive to communicate with other. You invest a lot of pride in your intellectual capacities. You may not always listen as well as you speak, however! You might be too busy thinking about what to say next. But you are very curious and although you enjoy expressing yourself, you usually don’t dominate conversations completely. As far as studying or learning goes, you are better off reading the material than listening to a teacher. These traits come from a strong need to take an active role in communications. It is very hard for you to passively listen and absorb information. Your opinions are usually strong and you are an independent thinker. You tend to be proud of your opinions and thoughts, and might easily get a bruised ego if you are not “heard”, if your opinions are pushed aside or ignored, or if your opinions are criticized. You are expressive and possibly a very animated speaker. You are also very witty and others enjoy your playful and sometimes mischievous sense of humor. -129 Square Sun - Mars You possess an unmistakable competitiveness and a “me-first” attitude. The fighter persona is most apparent in youth, when the child is described as a “bundle of energy”, or it is remarked that he or she “can’t sit still”. The abundant energy generated by this aspect is hard to direct in childhood. Later in life, ideally, those with these aspects have learned to channel some of their excess energy into productive avenues–perhaps through career, sports, or any area where competitiveness is considered an asset. Nevertheless, you can meet up with more than your share of conflict, and you can sometimes rub people the wrong way. You are very motivated to get things done, to take action rather than simply talk about something, and to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. Those who know you quite well might describe you as hot-headed and temperamental at times. You are easily frustrated, and you’re given to impulsive actions. If the aspect is found in cardinal signs, it gives impulsiveness and a short temper. If the aspect is found in fixed signs, the natives can be very hard-headed and willful. If it’s in mutable signs, it gives a restless and frustrated impatience.Essentially, you have faced conflict and are not particularly afraid of it. You have faced having your need to assert yourself blocked. Your parents may have done as much as they could to “tame” what they felt to be excess energy or aggression. In other words, you know all about conflict and blockages, so that when you are faced with a challenge or a roadblock, you don’t run away from it or hide under the covers feeling sorry for yourself. You meet challenges head-on. -132 Square Sun - Jupiter Although your intentions are generally good, you are given to overdoing things. You can easily gloss over realistic details and get yourself into debt, overindulge in pleasures such as food and drink, and promise more than you can deliver. For the most part, you find help for your excesses. Somebody’s there to bail you out, as plenty of people believe that your heart is in the right place. Generally, this is the case, but if excessive behavior becomes a pattern, and you continually face light consequences, there is the danger that you will not learn from your mistakes and abuse the “system”, relying on your friends and family to help you out a little too often. Your reputation for being “good people”, thus, can eventually be used to further your purposes–something that should, of course, be avoided. However, many people with this aspect don’t fall into the trap of losing their sincerity. You are generous, helpful, and charitable. Still, the tendency to live beyond your means is a real threat that you might struggle with much of your life. Another thing to watch for is depression. You tend to go through periods of intense highs when you are excessively optimistic. These periods are so marked that they seem to be unnatural and a fall seems to be inevitable. You can make promises you intend to keep, but have a problem with follow-through. Self-control can be a real problem. Try to avoid gambling altogether. Usually quite knowledgeable and generous with your time, you have many talents that you might take for granted. 387 Sextile Sun - Saturn It is easy and natural for you to accept responsibilities, to lead a rather ordered life, and to apply caution in your financial and business dealings. You rarely jump to conclusions or take uneducated risks. You have a certain amount of patience and enough self-discipline to slowly but surely achieve what you set out to do. Although somewhat undemonstrative, you are generally loyal and responsible people to those you care about. You take your time in most endeavors and generally use a step-by-step approach to most projects–but you steadily reach your goals. You are naturally trustworthy, and you don’t have much patience for those who don’t show respect for others, who take foolish risks, and who lead disorganized lives. 62 Trine Sun - Neptune There is an unmistakably dreamy, inspired, and sensitive side to you. A marked appreciation for music and the arts is present. The connection of Neptune with the Sun, which represents the ego and the will, certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart, adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality. You are naturally compassionate. It is so completely natural for you to accept that there is more to the world than what is before your eyes, that you tend to presume everyone must be spiritually-inclined. Of course, you come to realize that this is not the case at some early point in your life. Your attraction to spirituality and metaphysical subjects is usually marked. These aspects favor writers, artists, and musicians. You are sensitive to those who are suffering, although you are not usually taken advantage of. You are humanitarian and may have a special connection with animals. If other aspects and positions in the chart support it, you are not one to dominate others or assert yourself to the point of brashness. You have a fertile imagination, are full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that you may use on the professional level. -185 Opposition Sun - Pluto You may be prone to inner tension and negative, self-destructive behavior. When things are going well, you suffer from fears that something will come along to change that. Constantly worrying that the rug will be pulled from under your feet can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You possess tremendous power and strength–when you learn to accept and use that strength, instead of fear it, you can be one of the most effective, insightful, helpful, and healing person around! At times, you can be intensely dissatisfied with your personal accomplishments and expressions of self. You put a lot of pressure on yourself regarding your own endeavors. You can be quite dissatisfied with your creative self-expressions, and want to hide your expressions from others until you feel the output is “right”. This is largely due to a perceived inability to express or reveal your true personality to others. You struggle with a deep need to control yourself and life itself. You are especially sensitive to criticism, and feel the need to “redo” yourself often. There is a marked fear of losing control, and this might stem from some traumatic event in childhood, or the childhood might have been crisis-ridden or emotionally-charged in general. As such, you can be intensely fearful of, or threatened by, change. This can express itself through attempts to control your life in such a way that you can manage your fears of being taken off guard. Of course, this generally backfires! You have an intense need for privacy at times. The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image. Moon in Virgo Lunar Virgos find security in the little things in life. They feel most content when they’ve straightened out all the details of everyday life. Many of them enjoy running errands, paying bills, and balancing the books. They take care of these things happily, although some won’t let on. In fact, many Lunar Virgos are quite practiced at nagging and complaining. As long as they are appreciated, however, these people will help you take care of your life, too. They are at their best when they feel useful and needed. If somebody needs help, they are generally the first to jump up and take on the task. Some people with Virgo Moons are accused of being underachievers. While it may be true that Lunar Virgos can lack self-confidence, many are–quite simply–content with living “regular”, unassuming lives. They appreciate simplicity, and are often most comfortable when they’re not getting too much attention from the world at large. Lunar Virgos are easily overwhelmed by pressure and stress. They worry incessantly when there is too much to think about; and they know their limits. Arguably the worst position for a Lunar Virgo is without a steady routine or a simply satisfying job. They need to feel useful, and they best express this by helping others in little ways. They need something to call their own, and the space to do what they want to do. The unhappy Lunar Virgos are fussy and complaining sorts. They are victims of routine and freak out when their plans are not followed. They are restless and nervous, and can’t seem to see the big picture. Probably the best remedy for these people is a job or hobby in which they can express their deep need to analyze, attend to details, and micromanage. These people express their affection for the people they care about in little, but practical, ways. They can be a little stiff when it comes to open, gushy displays of affection. Lunar Virgos are often shy with new people. However, when they are comfortable, they are anything but shy. More often than not, others can count on Moon in Virgo people. They are reliable and trustworthy. Above all else, Lunar Virgos are practical. Others turn to them for help and advice. In relationships, Lunar Virgos can be self-effacing and kind. Some are quite shy in love, and easily intimidated on a sexual level. Many are not very comfortable with their sexuality, but they aim to please nonetheless. The sign of Virgo is very body-aware, in general. If this awareness combines with a lack of self-confidence, Lunar Virgos can be too aware of the parts that make up the whole. This can lead to a tendency to be intensely self-critical. Once Lunar Virgos learn to come out of their shell, however, they can be earthy partners with a lot to give. Some of the most skeptical people are Lunar Virgos. They can’t help but poke holes when faced with others’ blind faith. Their criticism can be maddening, and their insistence on seeing the practical in anything emotional can be challenging, especially if you are the dreamy type. Virgo curiosity shows up big time with this position of the Moon. To some, it can be confusing. Lunar Virgos seem very interested in others’ problems, for example, but can be quite cool and even unsympathetic in the long run. Their advice can seem hard to more sensitive folk; yet Lunar Virgos can be surprisingly delicate when faced with others’ criticism. Virgo Moon people are generally busy and quietly happy when they have their lives under control. They aim for a simple existence, and are often quite content with very little. Many are early risers, ready to take on the day with enthusiasm. They scurry around, keeping busy and managing their life quietly and expertly. As long as their little world is manageable, Lunar Virgos can be a delight to be around. Short description: She has a very good memory. Scientific or medical studies preferred above all others. She is humble and moderate, calm and reserved. Emotional discipline. She is willing to help, devoted and gentle. Weaknesses: servile nature, frequent changes of occupation, gets annoyed, upset, worries. She is too shy. Moon in XII Curious and inquisitive nature, although more of an observer than a person who asks many questions. She likes peace and quiet, being alone. This position of the Moon indicates an emotional attachment and sensitivity to all that is ethereal, groundless, and eternal. As sensitive as you are, you often have delayed reactions to your own emotional experiences. You need frequent moments of solitude in order to recharge yourself emotionally, and this need, while strong, can also lead to feelings of isolation and of being misunderstood. While you are a perceptive person, you are often either flooded with emotions that are hard to define, or completely out of touch with what you are feeling. Either extreme keeps you from truly discovering your emotional needs. Negative expressions of this position are avoidance of responsibility, using hypersensitivity as an excuse to oneself (and perhaps to others) for not participating, or emotional immaturity. You are sympathetic to others’ suffering, but not always emotionally available to help. -193 Opposition Moon - Mercury There is a conflict here between the head and the heart. Your emotions tell you one thing and your mind tells you something else. The result is a see-saw effect: you can be emotional to the point of irrationality at one moment, and logical the next. How to blend the head and the heart is a constant struggle for you, usually because you have a tendency to resist blending them! You love to chat, enjoy story-telling and writing/poetry, sometimes enjoy bending the truth, and you possess a sparkling wit! You are animated when you speak, and have a sense of humor that others appreciate simply because it’s very imaginative. You may be especially adept at satire. People can usually read your mood by how much you’re talking. When nervous or excitable, you talk up a storm. Moodiness is a characteristic, definitely, and an especially subjective nature makes you prone to hypersensitivity. It usually has to do with the fact that you take in so very much from your environment. This is also one of the reasons why you tend to be indecisive. You may swing between irrational and rational thoughts and feelings. It’s pretty much something that takes place “upstairs” in the mind, although others are sure to see the struggle from time to time. You are always interesting, and usually funny. You have a tendency to misrepresent yourself with what you say from time to time, but you’re a charming, if a little kooky, friend. -62 Square Moon - Mars You can be precocious, animated, and passionate. You seek emotional excitement in your life. Although you often project a brave and tough image, your skin isn’t as thick as you’d have others believe. You tend to put up defenses due to your emotionally vulnerable and excitable disposition. Unrest is characteristic, as you are bored by routine and become easily frustrated when life is “too easy”. There’s a buzz of energy surrounding you, and you tend to meet with many conflicts in your life. With the opposition, the conflict tends to be lived through relationships. The passions are quite raw, especially in youth. If you can channel your excitable energy into sports or some other competitive field, all the better. Although you can be a decidedly amiable and interesting person, others always seem to sense your boundaries. Something is bound to get you worked up, and it’s not always clear what that something will be. Your bluntness can be both appreciated and considered offensive, depending on your audience! You are eager to make a personal impact on those around you. It is possible that you are too eager in this sense, and you come across as self-absorbed and difficult to stomach. Patience is definitely not your strong point! Your responses are quick, and your are a passionate person who is usually quite courageous although your energy is sporadic and sometimes wasted. You are sexually responsive. Short description: She is very emotional and is driven to do things by her emotions. She does not think things over or through in a given situation. She is irascible and easily angered or fired up. Marital disputes are very likely, and a heated domestic atmosphere. 80 Sextile Moon - Neptune Positive aspect: She is kind and sympathetic, with a strongly compassionate nature. When in love, she is usually very devoted. In fact, she is devoted by nature, not only in matters of the heart. There is an unmistakably compassionate and understanding side to her nature. She has a natural affinity to music. While everyone enjoys music, people with Moon in harmonious aspect to Neptune respond to music as a vehicle to heal, relax, and to uplift the soul. Naturally perceptive, without even trying she tunes into the feelings of others, and the mood of her surroundings. There is a distinct emotional need to escape into the world of imagination, and to withdraw from others at times when she needs to re-center herself, largely because she tends to “take in” a lot of mixed energies from her surroundings. Strong and sudden “feelings” and hunches can overcome her. More often than not, her intuition is correct, although her imagination is also powerful and she can read too much into a situation as a result. Some laziness is associated with this position. This stems from a natural timidity and sensitivity that is apparent from youth. She may have been labeled “shy” in youth, and family members or friends may have jumped in to “save” her from situations that required boldness or aggressiveness. Thus, passivity was accepted and, as adults, she may be less experienced than most when it comes to reaching out or going after what she wants. 88 Conjunction Moon - Pluto She wavers between a rich and successful domestic life and social success. She has difficulty in succeeding in both. Very perceptive and given to psychoanalyzing people. A strategist. Powerful emotions and intense feelings. 84 Trine Moon - Lilith This aspect favors romantic and sexual relationships, giving charm, intrigue, and intelligence. Emotions are big, dark, and mysterious, but you embrace these things, instinctively understanding and accepting the many sides and complications to your feelings. Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit. Mercury in Pisces She sponges up the feelings and moods of people and the environment around her. Moody communication–sometimes very talkative, other times withdrawn. Tactful, doesn’t want to offend anyone. Fertile imagination. Flexible mind, sometimes gullible, but usually simply open to possibilities. Indirect. It can be very hard to pin her down to any one belief or decision. Mercury in VI Medical profession. Serviceable and generous nature. Meets their soul brother at work, or (if not) through family contacts. You are a person who thinks of all the details that others forget. Your mind is almost always turned “on” which can make you a little nervous. You are excellent at sorting things out, organizing, and making lists and associations. With your attention to the details and the mechanics, however, you might miss the bigger point! You are exceptionally helpful and others can count on you for making arrangements, researching, and offering advice. You truly love to feel useful. You might have some traits of a hypochondriac, as you notice all of the little aches and pains that others might overlook. Nervous tension could be at the root of many of your health complaints. Many of you are good at crafts, mechanics, or anything that requires good manual dexterity. -18 Square Mercury - Mars While her spirit is lively, it is also cunning. She often acts without thinking, she throws herself into things and exaggerates - and this can bring certain problems. She is nervous and irascible. She can develop others’ ideas, while they hesitate - she never does: she presses on. -4 Opposition Mercury - Pluto She may be impatient. She likes contradiction. Her arguments are noisy and animated. You are very incisive and aggressive with your opinions. You have a tendency towards fanaticism and often want to impose your ideas on others, sometimes in a subtle manner and sometimes more imperatively. You will find yourself attracted by the occult and other mysteries but it is recommended that you avoid those subjects because they can generate certain fixations or obsessiveness. You must learn to control your impatience and impulsiveness, to think things over before speaking, and to respect the weaknesses of others. 83 Sextile Mercury - Lilith Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others. Venus in Pisces Venus in Pisces people project themselves as dreamy, soft-hearted partners. Everything about the way they flirt promises a lovely time. Theirs is an elusive charm – they are sweetly playful, a little moody, and perhaps a little irregular. They appreciate romance and poetry, and they prefer to “feel out” both you and the relationship you share, so don’t expect too much planning ahead. Their sensitivity can be a little misleading at times. Yes, they are sensitive folk, but lovers may find it maddening that this sensitivity is not only directed at them, but towards all of mankind. Venus in Pisces men and women want you to know that their love is unconditional. They are unimpressed by your status, and love and accept you for all that you are inside. They love the underdog and are attracted to wayward folks, or those in need of a little help. With their romantic view of the world, they can be unreasonably attracted to states of suffering and martyrdom, so they easily get into the role of saving someone, or being saved. Unlike Venus in Libra, which thrives on equality, Venus in Pisces is actually turned on by inequality! They can be rather confusing and hard to pin down as they feel their way through their relationships. As much as they may want to, they find it hard to commit. Many do end up committing, however, at least on the surface. Pleasing Venus in Pisces involves enjoying tender moments and romantic times with them. You won’t always be able to count on them. In fact, you can be sure they will stretch the truth every once in a while. But remember they do this because they fear they might hurt you, and they can’t bear to cause you any heartache. Try to understand them, although that’s never an easy task considering the fact that they don’t always know themselves. And, truth is, some Venus in Pisces privately have a love affair going with the idea of being misunderstood. Try to put up with their apparent lack of direction in the relationship – they are so receptive and open to all possibilities that it is hard for them to commit to any one thing, idea, or even person. These intriguing partners will reward you with a love that is accepting and comes as close to unconditional as humans can get. Venus in VI She may be devoted to sick or poor people. Might work in a medical or social setting, where she meets their partner, who is a great help professionally. Your expressions of love and affection are practical and helpful. Being of service to a partner is especially important to you. In fact, you might go to great lengths to be available at all costs to a loved one. While you may not be flowery or showy when it comes to expressing love, you show your love by your availability, rendering services, doing practical things for a loved one, and other thoughtful “little” things. Many of you are talented at design work, as you appreciate and pay much attention to all of the little parts that make up a whole, with the goal of finding order and harmony in these systems. If you are not careful, you might pass up on true love opportunities in favor of relationships that serve a practical purpose in your life, or out of fear that you might not find better. Selling yourself short may be something that keeps you from going after what and who you want. 144 Trine Venus - Jupiter She is good-hearted, generous and has a good character. She likes well-being, comfort, a life without problems. She has good relations with her circle. She is easy to approach. All the same, she falls in love easily. She has a successful married and professional life. -62 Square Venus - Saturn This aspect sometimes means unhealthy sensuality. She is hard, and does not know how to express her emotions. She is frightened of showing her love, and this leads to disappointments, break-ups, lack of satisfaction. It is likely that she had problems with her mother, who did not know how to love her or give her self-confidence. She doubts, is suspicious and jealous. She will learn how to be happy in love, to be at ease with herself and to control her jealousy in the second half of her life, thanks to an older person, who gives her self-confidence back to her, so she can then trust others. -129 Opposition Venus - Ascendant She goes to excess in her pleasures, frequents doubtful company. She lacks good taste. She is very spendthrift, but spreads her money around her circle. Her friends are more self-interested than sincere. Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy. Mars in Gemini Mars is the planet that rules our drive and passions. In the mutable air sign of Gemini, Mars is a little scattered and unfocused. Easily bored, Mars in Gemini natives need a fresh change of pace frequently just to keep energy levels up. It’s a somewhat odd thing, really. When there’s nothing much to do, these natives are exhausted. But if there’s plenty of interesting things on their agenda, Mars in Gemini natives can be powerhouses! More than most people, these individuals have a physical reaction to boredom. Besides possessing a passion for words, when Mars in Gemini natives get angry or fired up, they use words as their “weapon”. Angry words–some of the most incisive and sarcastic ones–can fly around with the more energetic natives. Others simply talk things through–energetically! Whatever the case may be, Mars in Gemini natives need to get everything off their chests when they’re fired up. In fact, debates are a Mars in Gemini specialty. These natives draw on their sharp wit to win arguments. In general, they can be talkative sorts, sometimes bordering on verbal diarrhea. Those whose charts show more reserve only become chatty when they’re worked up about something or the other. Some people with this position of Mars are quite fidgety. They have much nervous energy. In general, their nervousness and restlessness are at the root of plenty of physical ups and downs. When they’re on edge, they can be nitpicky. Many Mars in Gemini natives channel their energy through their hands. Gemini, after all, rules the hands; and these people often express energy through musical instruments and the like–even video games. Many are attracted to puzzles and games as diversions. These natives are very adaptable, often thriving on change. They often take up many projects at once, spreading themselves thin at times. Sustained interest is not especially common with this position of Mars. Most will benefit from attempting to focus their energies rather than scattering them. However, their versatility and disdain for routine generally means Mars in Gemini natives are busy people. Mars in IX Deeply rooted opinions, which she knows how to defend energetically. At a certain moment of life, she can fight for a particular ideal but might abandon it along the way, being less convinced than at the beginning of its virtue or because she realizes that it is a losing battle. Conflict abroad or with foreigners. -169 Opposition Mars - Jupiter She refuses to accept any guidance. She lacks forethought, acts impulsively and sometimes imprudently, which can cause problems. She wants everything yesterday and uses whatever means necessary to achieve her objectives, even if they are dishonest or not very commendable. Her emotional life is fraught with quarrels and sometimes violent conflicts. -43 Square Mars - Pluto You have a tendency to impose your will upon others, which can cause severe problems for yourself when they react in self-defense. You have a hair-trigger temper and may even resort to verbal or physical abuse when upset. Learning to react to unpleasant circumstances with your intellect rather than your emotions comes with maturity. It is all too easy for you to find something negative about a situation. Avoid issuing ultimatums when you meet an obstacle. Instead, find a way to convince others to work with you of their own free will. Ordinary life often seems drab and uninteresting to you and you must have something that stirs your imagination, some vision or ideal or dream to motivate you. You have a strong urge to act out your fantasies or to live your dream, and you will DO things that others only talk about or dream about. Artistic creation, drama, or other areas in which you can express yourself imaginatively are excellent for you. You do not easily tolerate a dominating attitude in others. You have a healthy respect for power and authority, but only if it is handled fairly. This aspect gives you a somewhat Scorpionic attitude toward your lovers, and it can modify the traits associated with the sign of your Mars considerably. In other words, there is a distinct possessive and demanding streak in your sexual nature. Your approach to love and sex can be quite intense at times. Your sexual desire nature is a very strong one, and you may even use sex as a bargaining chip in your relationships in order to achieve your goals. More likely, however, is a very focused and intense sexual nature. This also adds a very magnetic quality to your appeal. When a woman finds you attractive, it can transform into a near obsession! Your aura is strong and somewhat mysterious. You tend to come across as stronger than you intend. In fact, some people are intimidated by you, and you may not understand why this is so. When you want something (or someone!) you are very determined. For you, it can be “all or nothing”. When you are finished with something, you leave it behind you and there is no going back. You want a deep, soulful attachment on a sexual level. In your love life you do not take rejection well. You fear betrayal and abandonment, and this can skew your perception of your lover. You have a highly developed sex drive, but you must learn to rein in your aggressiveness in this area. Power struggles and control issues may surface often in your relationships. You perceive the cruel edge in people, and understand its source. Self-confidence develops out of self-control in your interaction with others. 13 Trine Mars - Ascendant Jupiter represents expansion and grace. Jupiter in Sagittarius She attracts the most good fortune when she is open-handed and generous, tolerant, and practices what she preaches. Can be inspirational, and find success in travel, education, teaching, sports, publishing, and foreign cultures. Very philosophical, forward-looking, and enthusiastic. Has strong morals. Strongly values freedom of movement and expression. Jupiter in III She has good judgement, a sense of values, an open and optimistic mind, a good education and high moral standards. She likes studying. She is successful in communications work. Her professional work is a vocation and plays a great part in her life. -70 Square Jupiter - Pluto She might be tempted to exploit others. She is rarely satisfied with her achievements unless they are big. She is an opportunist. 126 Sextile Jupiter - Ascendant She likes meeting friends, around a good meal and in a cordial atmosphere. She is pleasant, jovial and engaging. Saturn represents contraction and effort. Saturn in Capricorn She is scrupulous, honest, correct, worthy and respectable. Weaknesses: melancholy, sullenness, disappointment and bitterness. Saturn in IV She needs to be dominated. She has a sense of organization and accepts her responsibilities. She achieves her objectives in spite of slow progress, with many hurdles to overcome. She is persevering and patient. 122 Sextile Saturn - Neptune Her plans are realized in a methodical fashion, she works hard to achieve success. 44 Trine Saturn - Pluto She perseveres, achieves her projects through hard work. -39 Square Saturn - Ascendant Her life is difficult and cramped. She is a worker, but success takes time in coming. She has problems in being open. She accepts solitude, rather than looks for it. Family problems. Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty. Uranus in Leo She is self-contained, resolute, tenacious. Likes freedom of action and independence. Uranus in XI Her freedom is important to her, even with regard to friends. These are extravagant, original, intellectual. They are not from the same background and have a different up-bringing. -6 Square Uranus - Neptune She lacks will-power and strength. Of a nervous disposition. -15 Square Uranus - Lilith She cannot live a peaceful love life. She will have lots of adventures, lots of love-at-first-sights which will lead her into dangerous territory, will complicate and even perhaps poison her life. Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty. Neptune in Scorpio Willing to look beyond the superficial. Neptune in II She may prefer not to attach too much value to money, but if this is overdone, there can be quite a few problems in life concerning money and ownership. She might make money through artistic pursuits, but must avoid the potential pitfalls of putting too much faith in ideas that don’t have enough grounding in reality. Financial advice is important to obtain. 20 Sextile Neptune - Pluto -23 Opposition Neptune - Lilith Love dominates her life. She could lose her head over someone to whom there’s an intense attraction, which can become troublesome, because she loses all idea of reality. If she is not loved in return, so what - she will love for the two of them. With time, if the loved one loses patience, she will have difficulty disentangling herself and she can suffer enormously. It’s best to look to a trusted outside source for guidance in vulnerable times. Pluto represents transformations, mutations and elimination. Pluto in Virgo Research and investigation come naturally. House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life. Pisces ascendant Libra Ascendant in Libra Everybody seems to like Libra Ascendant natives. They just come across as nice, pleasant, and fair. Look a little closer at their lives, and these nice people may have had quite a few problems in their relationships. Some of them have had a string of relationships, and it can be hard to imagine why! These natives attract others to them effortlessly. Besides, they simply don’t know what to do with themselves without a significant other. Libra rising generally appear to be smoothing everything over. They have charming smiles, a gentle approach with others, and an easygoing image. Even if they were not endowed with good looks, they are attractive. Most pay a lot of attention to their personal appearance – the colors they wear, their hair, the way they walk. Libra rising people can be enormously persuasive, although they will almost always use a “soft sell” approach when they want to win others over, which is all of the time! A tendency to pass the buck and keep up that “nice guy/gal” image are their worst qualities. However, they can make excellent mediators and will generally be the first to accommodate you. Libra rising natives are usually attracted to competent, active partners. Their relationships are often characterized by bickering or competitiveness until they learn to drop their sweet image once in a while and to stop blaming their partners for everything that goes wrong. House II is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions. House II in Libra Income may come either as a result of an advantageous marriage or union, through artistic expression, or by a very useful association. Partnerships can help further financial goals. Venus by sign and house can show other areas for making money. House III is the area of social and intellectual learning. House III in Scorpio Makes a good investigator because she is very curious, likes researching and does this with a lot of patience, likes to solve mysteries. Knows how to take risks, while being aware of the dangers. House IV is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth. House IV in Capricorn After working all her life to obtain her objectives and finally having reached that goal, she wants to retire in peace and quiet and to have a retirement full of contemplation, with few tasks, close to nature. As she was very careful with money all her life, she will administer the properties she has acquired. House V is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling. House V in Aquarius Doesn’t like routine and the banal. She is romantic, full of fantasy and imagination. She is also a friend one can count on. House VI is the area of learning by material transaction. House VI in Pisces Job in commerce. Weak point: the kidneys. House VII is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action. House VII in Aries Love-at-first-sight, marries without thinking. Doesn’t want to change her habits, so domestic quarrels to be foreseen. House VIII is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul. House VIII in Aries The spouse will tend to spend more money than she earns. Be careful of any haste that could prove dangerous. Drives a car too fast. House IX is the area of learning that shapes the identity. House IX in Taurus Travels but little, no great attraction for abroad. Doesn’t change principles, practically never changes mind. House X is the area of material action. The Mid-heaven represents the work one will do in his life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older House X in Cancer Likes contact with the public, the crowd. Profession that involves meeting a lot of people. Professional success thanks to sense of duty and application to her work. House XI is the area of search for social and intellectual security. House XI in Leo Friends are not always chosen by chance. Even if the feelings of friendship are sincere, these friends must automatically bring something - professional help for example. House XII is the area of education and of emotion. House XII in Virgo

[therussohousehold]

S3 Sucks Big Time And I’m Tired Of It.

Hi y’all. Next chapter’s well underway! In the meantime, there’s something I need to get off my chest, and this platform seems like the perfect place to do it.

SVTFOE season 3 has been the worst possible direction that the show could have taken. Out of all possible scenarios, the only way it could possibly get any worse is if all the problems that have been created in the past dozen episodes were, from here on out, totally ignored as the show tries to backpedal its way out of this conundrum.

The season’s complete trainwreck of petty drama, plot regression, character devolvement, and tonal problems is so complex and varied that it’s almost impressive, because of all the parts that seem like mistakes, the most glaring issues seem to be deliberate choices by the writers.

This starts at the beginning of S3 with the Battle for Mewni, and continues on through the season, to the point that there isn’t an episode in which it’s not present. Let me go ahead and dive in here, and just explain some of the myriad of things that are wrong with what’s been produced thus far.

Tone - mistakes and choices.

Right from the beginning of the Battle of Mewni, all of the show’s tonal problems are thrown up into your face, over and over again.

The purpose of story tone is to help the story retain focus, both in the direction you’re heading, and in helping your viewers know what to expect from the show. It informs the actions of the characters, and helps you to understand how to feel about certain things that happen. There are a lot of great examples of how this works in modern cartoons.

Most appropriately, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Teen Titans, and Gravity Falls are all very obvious examples of this. Each series’ tone is constant and lets you know what to expect from every episode, and more relevantly, features a mix of serious, character-driven narrative progression, while also allowing room for each series to tell jokes, show off the lighthearted interactions between characters, and have those personal moments of heart and meaning that mean everything when forging a bond between yourself and the characters you’re watching.

SVTFOE has always had problems with tone, from the introduction of Toffee onwards. Toffee himself is a perfect reflection of what the problem with the show always has been. He’s a character that wants to be serious, with real meaning and consequence, but the show itself is very goofy and lighthearted, and only in his presence is there any sort of continuity for the first two seasons.

This problem is thrown into overdrive with Battle For Mewni, which creates a world-shattering conflict that the show just isn’t prepared to handle in any capacity. The conflict itself is world-ending stakes, with Toffee’s plans finally coming to fruition - not only is the kingdom of Mewni in shambles, but he’s draining all the magic from the multiverse.

Despite this, though, the show’s goofy tone and ridiculous antics sabotage this more serious, tension-filled plot, over and over again. This continues until the parts that actually have tension, like Star drowning in the magic dimension, Toffee’s return and death, Ludo’s transformation into a horrible dictator, are not only undermined, but actually feel completely out of place in the context of the show.

One minute the show is telling you how funny and ridiculous it is, like with the parts that show River trying to run the kingdom, or anything involving the dungeons or Marco’s “vigilante pranks,” and the next minute, it’s demanding you sit up and watch, because world-ending consequence is crashing down in a manner completely unprecedented.

This problem continues into the season, long after Toffee’s death, with the conflict between the goofy elements of the show, and the more serious angle of princess that Star obviously wants to become.

First, it should be noted that the writers did at this point FINALLY make a conscious choice about the tone of the season/series - they did it when Marco arrived on Mewni in “Lint Catcher.” It happens in the most jarring way possible.

The series until this point has been all about lighthearted choices and fun adventures, so you’re led to believe that when he gets there, you’re going to see an emotional reunion, a return to the status quo, and a setup for next week’s fun antics. The setup feels as though the show is saying “okay, we’re going to do what we did before, but on Mewni now.”

Instead, it’s apparent immediately that Marco’s made a huge mistake. He burns the bridges he has left on Earth. Meanwhile on Mewni, Star’s not so much excited or even happy to see him, as she immediately seems as interested as possible in making sure he isn’t around for reasons that are never actually directly stated.

This is the tone that the series sticks to for nearly the rest of the season - Star being selfish and emotionally distant while Marco acts as a third wheel - and as far as a conscious choice for tone goes...

WHY???

This is the first issue because it’s really the underlying problem behind why I don’t enjoy S3 at all. It’s not written to be enjoyable. The tone of the show is “mistakes which have no resolution,” or perhaps “actions have consequences,” but unlike, say, Adventure Time, which shares this theme BUT is drowning in interesting side-plots and settings to draw focus (since “adventure” is also a primary theme of the series), that tone is taken and crammed down your throat at every opportunity.

That’s not to say it’s consistent, though. The show attempts to break through this tone on multiple occasions, with the immediately following episodes, Trial By Squire, Princess Turdina, and Starfari attempting to show that no, this is not the way things will go.

Despite this, though, the tone is so present in Star’s more serious attitude, in her dynamic with Marco, and in his own actions (and continuing, progressively worse series of mistakes) that I’m left wondering “what the heck am I supposed to be feeling right now?” Trial By Squire, like the other Quest Buy episodes, is excellent, but in no way am I prepared to invest myself back into Marco and Star’s relationship when they themselves have turned it on its head in ways we aren’t even seeing yet. The theme of the season is “consequence” but nothing actually seems to have consequence. You just feel bad after watching, because somehow you’re more aware of what the characters should be going through than the characters themselves.

Plot - how to story.

Like with tone, SVTFOE has always struggled with plot. One minute you’re getting a lore-packed episode like St. Olga’s, or a compelling character narrative like in the episodes preceding The Battle For Mewni, and the next you’re getting completely disconnected adventures like the Quest Buy episodes, Interdimensional Field Trip, etc. etc.

Up until now, though, the show has always done a pretty good job on both ends. Some of the filler episodes are annoying (Fetch/Star on Wheels will forever remain “the block that should never have been produced”) and some of the plot-driven episodes don’t always land (Baby is great, but also the most out-of-place episode in S2, IMO) but generally speaking, things have always tied together in the end. If not that, then it’s at least fun to watch.

So then S3 starts out by killing the antagonist and central conflict before we even see them emerge, and then continues onwards as if it still has a reason to do so. Then it introduces a theme that is like nails on a chalkboard for trying to build something to be around and watch. Talk about shooting yourself in the feet!

Throughout S3 so far, we’re given a bunch of characters that are changing radically, but no reason for their change, and no motivation to get them to show that development. Star is trying to change into a more down-to-earth, serious princess, but it’s not until Starfari, nearly a third of the way into the season, that we’re even given a glimpse of a conflict which suits this mindset.

Meanwhile, Marco’s trying to come to terms with who he wants to be in life, but whether he was on Earth or on Mewni, post Sophomore Slump, the series itself would not have been affected at all. It’s like he’s totally isolated from everything that’s going on around him, and any time he tries to have an impact or take control, things blow up in his face.

Eclipsa is introduced as a full character to show off a moral grey area and try to influence Star into her “do what you want” lifestyle, but there’s no catalyst to show this change at all, and as a result she, too, could be completely cut from the season to literally no effect.

This is not how you do plot. It’s not how you do a story, and it lends itself to the theme of the show, because now in addition to “mistakes without resolution,” and “actions have consequence,” (via Star’s attitude), the entire season thus far has had a running theme of “pointlessness.” The only conflicts which you’re driven to care about at all are those between characters, but even those are so poorly managed and difficult to understand that you just want the series to tell you what it’s trying to do, already.

Killing off Toffee was, in my opinion, the biggest waste of a character that I can think of in recent memory. It’d be like if Aang defeated the fire lord at the end of book 2, or Bill Cipher showing up and being beaten halfway through Gravity Falls.

I expected the show would at least provide a reason for the defeat so we could move on - like a “now that he’s gone, we can do this other thing that we really want to show” approach, but that just hasn’t happened. These characters still have so much growth to go through, the story still has so much to tell, but we’re just missing any driving force behind the plot, and as a result, the only really interesting bits of the series (the relationships like what are shown in Lava Lake Beach and the story development like in Deep Dive and Monster Bash) fall extremely flat while you wait for a reason for their existence.

Characters - unjustifiable and unlikable

Okay, so we’re seeing a running theme: inconsistency. The show likes to jump around with plot. It likes to have a few different themes. And up until now it’s liked to jump around with characters, too.

But this season actually introduced some consistent characterization for Star and Marco, with Star being the more selfish and serious version of herself, and Marco being a walking pile of bad life choices and personality shortcomings.

So, again, we’ve got a conscious choice by the writers that makes NO SENSE.

That is to say, we’ve now got consistent characters and they’re awful.

The biggest thing that you need from a character in any show is a WHY and a HOW.

The WHY is the reasoning behind their existence and character from an out-of-show perspective. It creates a relateable backdrop/canvas for the character to act on. Zuko’s struggles with honor, family, and his own duality are is WHY. We understand who he is and WHY he acts the way he does, and as a result, despite him making some terrible choices and being full of angsty late-teen drama (”nobody understands me mom! I mean, uncle!”) we still sympathize and know where he’s coming from.

Then there’s the HOW, which is the reasoning behind their actions WITHIN the show. Zuko’s driving force is to capture the Avatar, which is HOW that out-of-show WHY backdrop manifests. All of his problems come to a head and he’s created a simple narrative solution: if he can just capture the avatar, things will get better. Despite his antagonism, we understand him and appreciate who he is, even if we don’t want him to succeed. The problem with S3 is that it creates a problem that the series never really had before. The characters were never particularly consistent or driven, and when they are (like Star in Storm the Castle) the motivation was adequate. Star wants to get her best friend back. As soon as the stakes are raised from a character perspective - as soon as Star and Marco become consistent and show signs of a progression path - the show falls apart, because we’re not given any justification for it at all. The WHY and HOW behind Star’s actions in S3 is a total enigma, because the show never actually tells us her line of reasoning. The best I can come up with is that she feels the need to be more responsible following the problems her previous actions caused, but there’s been nothing in the season that requires that attitude at all. The actual stakes behind what’s going on in the series as a whole are actually lower than they’ve ever been, so why is she now choosing to be serious? She has no WHY because we don’t know WHY she’s acting that way, and she has no HOW because we don’t know HOW that new backdrop is guiding her actions. The result is this character that’s just designed to be unlikable. Star in S3 has treated her friends like crap, has been emotionally distant, difficult to understand, selfish, and irresponsible, all of which is now superimposed on a character we don’t understand. She was most of those things when she was bubbly and goofy, too, but we understood it! She just didn’t understand responsibility, and more importantly, she learned after her mistakes. Most importantly, the show did not ever demand us analyze her actions. S1 and 2 are stuffed full of apologies, emotional connections, trials and triumphs, and problems with solutions as she comes to terms with the idea. We don’t have any of that now, though, we’ve just got all the problems with none of the solutions. Likewise with Marco. You can understand his motivations a little bit better despite them never really being said at all (the WHY is that dude’s seriously misguided on what he wants out of life), but the HOW is still totally missing. He just stumbles about, not really learning anything or trying to understand why his life’s so messed up at all, and as a result, I just feel sorry for him. By the time his surprise party blows up in his face in the holiday special, I just want to reach into the show and tell him to stop trying. He doesn’t seem to be aware of what he’s doing, most of the time, and completely ignores the consequences of his actions. We understand WHY he’s so misguided, but we don’t understand HOW he’s continuing to act that way. So here we are. We’ve got a season with unlikable characters, no central conflict, and a depressing, scattered theme. This brings me to my final point.

Bullshit Drama - conflict vs. adolescence

In the absence of the villain, we’re left with the ultimate in adolescent, petty drama, as all these characters without understandable motivations or conquests scurry about, trying to find a way to make the show compelling while also maintaining the awful tone that this season’s chosen.

So we’ve got petty drama. Character dynamics without weight. Arguments with no meaning. A bunch of relationships which are built around a poorly-constructed love-triangle which is both completely unwarranted (this coming DESPITE me being a fan of Tom, this season) and unprecedented in the series as a whole.

The writers’ apparent obsessive need to use this BS “Dramabox” mechanic in place of any real plot or direction informs the entire season. Everything is building up to further defining the completely fucked-up relationship that Star and Marco now have, to creating conflicts between characters that could be solved with some half-decent communication, to backpedaling character growth (poor Tom, he’s tried so hard) in the interest of producing something that you can gossip about in a schoolyard.

The thing is, you can do drama without resulting to this. It’s one of the reasons you have an antagonist. As the plot drives the characters together into new situations, they won’t be comfortable with it, or with themselves as they’re tested. They’ll chafe as they adjust, and ultimately, come out as better people in the end. The subtle conflicts between Dipper and Robbie, or Grunkle Stan, the disagreements between Toph and Katara, Starfire’s bubbly surface or Beast Boy’s nonsensical nature compared to Raven’s dark, down-to-earth personality... these are all examples of well written character drama. Two informed characters trying to adjust to one another as they’re pushed forward by circumstance.

But instead we’re left with pointless adolescent bullshit. The kind that gets nowhere, it’s just something to talk about. “Did you see how annoyed Star was with Marco?” or “God, look at how bad a friend X is to friend Y, they’re just awful...” It’s schoolyard gossip and it completely disgusts me.

The most frustrating thing is, Eclipsa’s still a character in this show. She is the person to tell Star to get her shit together. Like, oh, maybe instead of running away and buying your feelings for your friend, you should confront them? Maybe there should be a balance between having fun and being serious? These are both things that a real person, particularly a mentor, would say in a real conversation, especially around the circumstances of S3. But that would be too easy, and kill the only motivation that the show has left to crawl forward!

So instead we’re gonna sit here and watch Marco fight with Tom over Star, for some contrived, bullshit reason. Because there’s nothing better for them to do.

Overall, this show has just about run its course for me. It reminds me of my short stint with the Walking Dead, where over time I gradually just... stopped caring. I’ve told myself I’ll see through another few episodes, and I’m going to continue writing my story regardless, but there’s a point where I just can’t be bothered anymore, and I think it’s approaching fast.

[the-cryptographer]

wrapped up playing final fantasy ix

yeah, idk, at some point it became clear to me that the game wasn’t really heading in the directions i wanted it to. that was... a while ago, lol. but i’m usually committed to finishing these things once i start them, even if they’re less than what i’d hoped.

on the game side of things... it’s a final fantasy game. it’s got all the regular final fantasy stuff going on. for this one in particular, i guess i like this type of ability system. otherwise it’s your standard, mostly-mindless turned based combat. summons take way to long to play. as usual i tend to favour physical combat interspersed with a healer that can cast holy. but i ended up relying a lot on Frog Drop and Dragon Crest, heh. my favourite team is something like Eiko and pick 2 {Quina, Freya, Amarant}.

Also this final fantasy gets credit for finally getting me to like moogles. they are... so cute in this. Stiltzkin is pretty great, as was Mogmi and Moguta being silly in love, but my absolute favourite was Moorock, who gets so gd excited about writing a letter and loudly exclaims ‘I love Mognet!’ even though he’s never heard of it before. why are he and Mozme not on disk four tho?! tell me they made it out okay D’x  Although, hmm, I’m not sure why we trusted Artemicion with more superslick at the end there. Since he apparently he got high snorting the last bottle. god, don’t trust the addict with more of his substance.

idk, I guess I’ll go through the story characters. and just... kind of hope I cover everything that way.

Quina

I... love them. And I tend to like gag characters but... I love them. Such ambition... to eat everything. So cute. So silly. So relatable. I also really like the nightgown/smock kind of thing going on. Need more characters dressed like granny that are trying to eat us out of house and home.

Amarant

Um... there seemed to be a lot going on in this sector of the story that kind of... needed more time. Or otherwise needed cutting out, probably. I find it conceptually interesting, at least: loners being confronted with the boundaries of their... determination to be alone. So I like him in spite of myself. But Zidane’s played a pretty shitty trick on him, once upon a time, and it’s a little hard to justify the kind of devotion Amarant has in lieu of that. Because... yes... it is devotion... somehow. And it’s a little hard to buy the way he becomes so easily enamored with how Zidane’s mind works with so little development.

Eiko

Mmm, again, there was some interesting stuff here about her growing up alone, and the way she immediately clung to Zidane as a way to escape that loneliness. But her crush on him is taken a bit too seriously by the narrative, like she’s really in love with him, and that gets a bit creepy, imo. The stuff with Mog is interesting, but kind of too much trying to tug on the heartstrings when the heartstrings haven’t been wound and tuned, if you know what I mean. I suppose, at the end of the day, I didn’t end up liking her all that much. But feel like I could have and should have if they had written her even a little better.

Freya

I love this aesthetic... so much. Kind of a mix of red mage and dragoon, both of which I love individually, plus rat person. She is one of my faves on this basis alone. In terms of her actual personality... it’s so sparse and inconsistent. Ah, there are some landmarks I like - the kind of quiet and sternly professional bits, the loyalty to her homeland, she has some good moments deciding to fight after the destruction of Cleyra, and talking with Amarant too. Just- I’m left feeling like she was never pushed to a workable extreme anywhere in the narrative, and so she doesn’t really have any clear, defining personality characteristic. It’s more like... a lot of shit happens to her, and she’s sad but not too sad, and strong but not too strong. And it’s kind of lacklustre at the end of the day.

Steiner

I don’t really know how to say this except to say it. He’s funny and sweet at times. Overly distracted by rules and decorum, of course. But he also veers hard into being rather annoying to watch at times. He is... not a practical person. Overall, I’m kind of impressed with his bit in the story, though. Even if it fades as the narrative progresses. His relationship with Beatrice was kind of a bright spot in the narrative as a whole for me. I maybe... can’t help but like the fact that this hypercompetent, beautiful lady falls for his bumbling ass. Beatrice in general strikes a neat line between being chilly and needy and, really, way too good for anyone else in the cast.

Vivi

A great character and... ultimately a huge copout. There was a lot of build up to Vivi dying and, ultimately, it felt rather unsatisfying. It felt like they were trying to rob the sadness out of it by limiting what they showed us of him in the epilogue to his breed of offspring. But, even before then, they touched on so many themes about him in a way that really attempted to distance itself from the fear of human mortality. Like, this isn’t something that only happens to weird artificially constructed lifeforms. Human being sometimes find out they only have a couple months or a year left to live, and have to come to terms with that. Hell, all of humanity is on a timer - and not once did anyone really say to Vivi, ‘yeah, it’s true for all of us. We could all die at any moment. We’re only going to last so long, whether it’s a year or ten or a hundred.’ Kuja came kind of close to communicating some of this ‘i’m going to die, just like the Black Mages’. But never in a way that emotionally impacted Vivi, which ws kind of shitty writing, imo.

Dagger/Garnet

I don’t know. She’s rather generic. Which... doesn’t necessarily preclude my attachment in of itself. But, yeah, she’s generic in a way that doesn’t resonate with me, heh. She leans super hard on Zidane the whole narrative, and it’s really not even a little fun. There was some interesting stuff with Ramuh, and with Eiko and her being from the same summoner clan, and her relationship with her mother was great as well. I liked that Dagger got to be sad about Brahne - because let her be sad about losing the people who loved her and who she loved. But... Brahne herself is such a conundrum. I don’t dislike her character and her design as a whole. But I don’t like the game’s ‘fat and ugly are evil’ vibes. And I also don’t like the way she’s immediately forgiven in the public eye, and the eyes of the narrative, once she dies. She... literally destroys cities and kills thousands of people. That’s not really forgivable.

But, regarding Garnet... I started liking her a bit more once she cut her hair and started smiling in her in-game portrait. so, if nothing else, we know I am very shallow.

Zidane

Aaaaand, if I wasn’t already, this is where I start really running into problems. When you don’t really like the main character. When you’re not invested in the main character’s romance that is front and centre of the story and its ending. When you really don’t believe the strength of the emotional connections between the cast that the game is attempting to sell you on... It just makes it really hard to enjoy things. Zidane often seems dismissive, in his own head, and even shallow in the way he attempts to relate to the rest of the cast. It’s everyone else that has to come around to his way of thinking and learn from him, rather than the narrative making much of an effort to teach him about how to actually empathise with others. and it’s kind of grating then that we hear them praise him so casually.

I think, then, combined with the womanising aspect of his character... I don’t know, because I’m certainly not opposed to somebody wanting to sleep with all the ladies. That is an A+ relatable feeling. But, for someone that’s so casual about cozying up to every woman he runs across, I was left feeling like the only woman he had any kind of legitimate connection to was Garnet. (The game tells us he’s good friends with Freya, but does it really show us why? or how?) Which is... I suppose why Garnet, and not Ruby and Freya, was propped up as being Zidane’s major romance. But... idk, it feels a little too much like entitlement. He’s allowed to hit on all the ladies and look good while doing it, while he has a serious relationship developing with Dagger and she’s arguably right there to see him hit on other women, and he also has basically no interest in providing any kind of emotional support or developing any kind of connection with pretty much any woman (except maybe Dagger). Combine this with Cid cheating on Hilda and then she jealously turns him into a beetle - but, wait, this is a happy marriage, the game tells us. and the fact that the game’s major villain is pointedly described as ‘not a skirt chaser like you’... it’s just deifying an entitled straight boy ‘boys will be boys’ kind of attitude when that’s already an accepted social norm. and it’s kind of disgusting. I think there are better ways to talk about infidelity and promiscuity and the desire for the ladies, ones that are still sympathetic to all the parties involved. I think the final fantasy series /has/ talked about it better. With Edgar, who wants to get with all the ladies, but who lets Terra and Celes into his protection and the bounty of Figaro castle without touching either of them, and who is pointedly single even though he’s the sole heir of a kingdom and pushing thirty. And with Tidus, who had a power fantasy dream where Yuna and Rikku are hanging off each of his arms as they roast his father, but that’s before he gets to know each of them better as people. once he does the objectification wanes. I’m not saying that Edgar and Tidus are perfect heroes and wonderfully written, but I think this aspect of them was delivered with more nuance and a more critical eye, and it makes a huge difference.

Also... Are you a team player, Zidane? Or are you just a team player until you’re angry, or decide your pride is on the line? For a kind of ‘friendship is everything’ message, it certainly gets muddled everytime Zidane’s in a snit. Running back into Ispen Castle alone was a weird moment when we’re just getting done telling Amarant not to run around alone. Only okay when I do it(tm) And when he’s being kind of an insufferable bastard at the end of disc 3... just... why are you chasing after him guys? and why, after all that hoopla about accepting his friends’ help, does he deny it when going after Kuja at the end? I'm not saying that there aren’t things one needs to do alone just- why is Zidane always right when he says he needs to do things alone, but everyone else is wrong when they say the same thing? it’s a terrible case of protagonist-centred morality, and it’s really terrible and trite.

idk, I just- I understand why people are sick of the angsty final fantasy heroes after Cloud and Squall (the former I love, the latter I don’t). But I feel Zidane basically fell short in every way that wasn’t being upbeat and energetic, and I’m not sure what everyone sees in him.

Kuja

I can’t help but like this flamboyant bastard. God, he... soooo did not need a tacked on redemption arc. Again, mass genocide isn’t really forgivable. He is a terrible person. full stop. But I’m irrationally pleased he got some sympathy from the narrative anyhow. He’s just... I never liked Sephiroth, but Kuja has convinced me I could have liked Sephiroth if Sephiroth had even a fraction of a personality in ff7.

other than that... the wind/earth/water/fire shrine part of the game was weird. give me real dungeons, devs. also the coffee sidequest is nigh impossible to complete and then the game guilted me, and i hate that.

in the end, i suppose i feel the game was messy. the tone whip-lashed quick between whimsy and pure horror - which should be my jam but, idk, it didn’t work here for me. and a lot of the major characters and storylines lacked depth, or otherwise lacked nuance, or otherwise lacked payoff. it’s kind of hard to watch so much effort and so many good ideas flop so hard, but it flopped hard for me. i don’t get the hype about this game.

[rock-and-compass]

7.02 thoughts

Okay. Here we go. I’ve slept on this but it was written while I watched the episode.

Under the cut because of negativity

The suitably vague “Years Ago” – I don’t think we’re ever going to get an explanation as to why everyone’s ageing is funky and exactly how long has passed since Henry left town…

A bit of friendly sword-play turns into sulky teen pretty darn quickly – Henry doesn’t seem nearly old enough or mature enough to be leaving home… although I guess there is nothing like leaving home to make you grow up quickly. And boy does he grow up quickly!

“This isn’t an ending Emma, there’s more to come.” …You keep trying to tell us that A&E…

Hook and Emma are clearly planning on expanding the family and, I guess, not finding it so simple…. I think this is supposed to reinforce the “Emma is too pregnant to help” discourse that runs under the episode.

Good god, you just happen to have that magic message-in-a-bottle bottle lying around and just happen to mention it now. How many times would that little piece of plot convenience have come in handy?  dark swan; missing hook; wish world; baby Gideon . . . every other freaking time that a character has been missing, lost or trapped. The thing with fantasy is that it still needs rules – to make anything conveniently possible with a new magical item that is then never seen again undercuts the narrative and makes the story trite. If you want people to be summoned to other realms then establish a method via your story, not just produce yet another artefact that can miraculously do what you need done. One of the core tenants of this show was that travel between realms was hard – but they’ve broken that rule so many times while still pretending that it holds true that it has become ridiculous.

Another realm … more “years later” yep. Continue with the vague. And Henry’s “in love” already to the point where others are noticing. So no slow burn for Hella then.

Why would Henry say “Captain Hook” into the bottle? Surely is would be “Emma, Regina and Killian” as Henry has called him for, jeeze I don’t know the duration of the proverbial “years” that have apparently passed. But I guess this is why WishHook is suddenly also in this new realm…

And now we are suddenly in “Today” sheesh. The break-neck speed continues.

“Rogers” asking about Emma complete with CS theme has potential. Well Didn’t that turn out to be a big old tease?

“People should be given a second chance” Hello theme of the day.

Still don’t get why the step mother has so much control over Lucy. It’s annoying and doesn’t assist in building any interest in the Cinderella storyline.  The newcomers acting continues to feel contrived and pantomimic, particularly Lady Tremaine and Co.

Such clunky dialogue – “where’s my other mother?” not “where’s mum?” or even “where’s Emma?” Could they make it any more transparently obvious that this is an explanation session for those legions of new viewers that this spin-off has failed to pick up.  The writing really is subpar this season, even from Jane Espenson who I always thought was better than the rest.

Hmmmm – so Hook when covering for Emma’s whereabouts, lies to Henry, at Emma’s request, about “what really happened” so Henry doesn’t drop everything and go running back to Storybrooke but can “get on with his life”. I wonder when we will find out what this is . . . or is it meant to be the baby news. It’s very vague.  Still, nice to see Regina’s opinion that “Emma is wrong” get shut down so efficiently by Killian. If only people had done that more often in Storybrooke… One must suspect that Regina is not concerned with telling Henry the truth as much as she is desirous of using this information as a way of getting her son home…

What is with Weaver’s voice?

Who are these people???

Ugh. I really really hate that Wish World and everything associated with it – Wish Hook included! This is a massive stumbling block for me. I was on the fence before – if it had been Our Killian, I probably would have continued with the show. But not with this. I can’t go forward with a show when it has just become a mockery of itself. Killian and WishHook are NOT the same person. One is a bad joke taken too far. The other is a character that I genuinely love.  I can’t commit to WishHook even if he is magically made to resemble GenuineKillianJones. As WishHook himself says, with absolutely no logic to underpin his explanation, they may have had similar beginnings but life and experience took them in very different directions so nope, not the same person.

The biggest issue for me is that WishHook was created with a wish just a few “years earlier” in season 6 - he didn’t actually exist before this. HE DOESN’T HAVE THE HISTORY THAT THEY APPARENTLY WANT US TO BELIEVE HE HAS. HE LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST BEFORE THE WISH WAS MADE. He is a theoretical construct created out of the malicious twisting of Emma’s once uttered wish that she was not the saviour. The Wish World was not factual. Emma would not have actually been that meek little princess if she had been raised by her parents – the WishWorld was an insulting, twisted fantasy that is now infecting the entire show and we are supposed to embrace that caricature, that glib joke of WishHook as our substitute Killian. Others might like it, but it’s not for me.

It’s like, in life, we are all products of our choices…. Let’s say you had a choice between two paths – Path A and Path B - you have to choose one and there is no going back. You pick choice A and follow that road until the next set of choices presents itself. Path A becomes your path and effects and influences the person you become.  All the possibilities from choice B cease to exist. That path is closed and all the potentials it offered become purely hypothetical. There is no alternate “you” walking down Path B. But this is what this stupid premise wants us to accept and the upcoming episode titled “The Garden of Forking Paths” would seem to confirm this. And it might make sense if there had been time travel involved but there wasn’t – it was a wish and a new wish at that.

And didn’t Regina discover that WishRobin was not “her” Robin - HE WAS NOT THE SAME PERSON and he ended up going back to the wish world where he belonged. So sorry, I can’t accept the Killian and WishHook are “the same person” as a justification for reinvesting in the show.  I was invested in Killian Jones, not a very poor wish-born imitation. Unfortunately, it smacks of the writers wanting their cake and to eat it too – they want Colin/Hook in the show but they also want to facilitate Emma’s exit and preserve CaptainSwan’s happy ending.  So okay, I’ll take the slice of CS cake and go away and eat it, but as a consequence, I’m good and full – I can live without the slice of WishHook.  

Colin is great as Killian but his “officer Rogers” is kinda bland and underwhelming. Sorry. I know I’m the minority on that one. Lol.

Ugh Rumple.

No. no one would pay $550 to see a kiddie ballet concert. And all this Hyperion Heights stuff is just a bit . . .  boring.

Gaaaaaaah how could a recently created wish version of Hook have a daughter????? Sorry I can’t buy any level of care for this silly plot contrivance. There is no logic at all.  And it all feels so emotionally manipulative – they tell us Emma and Hook are having a baby but we’re never going to see that one come to fruition so they fob us off with WishHook and his freaking WishDaughter trying to make mileage off the fact that mush of the audience would have loved to have seen Emma and Hook as parents.

Lol. Regina is such a loser. She can’t find a life outside her adult son. One might theorise that she isn’t truly happy living a ‘good’ life… And Henry continues his pattern of being the parent in this relationship when he suggests she stay in the new realm.  Yeah, another reason I exit at this stop. And she was added by CGI into the goodbye scene. Hilarious.

Oh Jaysus… the exposition in that final WishHook/Henry scene at the bar – we didn’t have time to show it all so we’ve got to tell it (and add in a dash of completely superfluous Roni in for good measure)

Final thoughts: The episode was underwhelming and not an appropriate tribute to Emma Swan.  I’m happy that Emma and Killian are happy in Storybrooke – though it would be nice to at least know the name of their baby. I’m glad they are free of Regina and Rumple and that the whole town gets to live in peace and far away from those two utterly horrible people. I wish the story was continuing in Storybrooke, not Hyperion Heights. With no Emma and no Killian in Hyperion Heights, it’s just not a place I’m interested in. But, can I just add that I was prepared to keep watching if it had been the real Killian in Storybrooke. Yep, I know that would have meant that Emma and Killian would be separated yet again, that the CS baby may not have been hatched . . . but you know what it would have given me?

Hope.

…Hope that one day there was a chance, ever so slim or remote, of seeing Emma Swan again. Rogers would have automatically bee an altogether more compelling character because he wouldn’t be an imposter – he would have been our Killian, with an opportunity to have a story outside Emma but also to keep her as an important part of the story, even in her absence. That would have got me back. As the story stands, with the ending we were given, I have literally no hope or expectation of ever seeing Emma and Killian ever again. I do feel the choice not to keep authentic-Killian in the story will cost them in the long run – I think it was a short-sighted narrative choice that allowed them to exit Emma with no fuss or consequence.  So yeah, for me, personally I would have preferred to have seen Killian and Emma as part of the curse (I would have made Emma an inanimate object ah la Beauty and the Beast or as a swan or a cat or whatever – They promised us that whoever cast this curse learnt from the previous one so what could have been a more important lesson that neutralising the saviour.) Yes the fandom would have been furious but they still would have had a reason to watch – I mean, those OQ fans are still begging for Sean to return… but they’ve exited Emma and Killian in a way that effectively silences the fandom.

I’ll accept the nice ending because it means that Emma and Killian get to live on elsewhere, but unfortunately, it also means I’m done with the show.  

[callmeblake]

Frank Iero and The Patience at The U Street Music Hall, Washington D.C. - July 21st, 2017 

PARACHUTES: FRANK IERO EXPLORES DEPTH IN MUSIC, LIFE AND MORE 

By: Erin Martin

Photo Credit: Jeremy Long

Interview below the cut

Construction railings shield the growing line outside of U Street Music Hall from the scorching heat in Washington, DC. With just one look at the crowd, a passerby cannot pinpoint what the line is waiting for. From My Chemical Romance to Death Spells, each avenue Frank Iero has taken in his music career is represented.

A van pulls up, and out comes Frank Iero and company, all of whom have spent the past hours visiting Dischord Records in the city and grabbing lunch. The call time for loading in their equipment had been pushed an hour, so we make our way down into the heart of U Street, along with the equipment.

The green room is a grungy hole where countless artists have set up before. Furnished with old, black leather seating and a simple bathroom, the artist’s bags have been dropped off and Iero graces the room. Debuting his fresh haircut, Iero immediately fills the space with his charm. Dressed in black head to toe and adorned with an assortment of pins and patches, Iero recounts his last time in DC for his tour promoting Stomachaches with frnkiero andthe cellabration. This time, the band is nearing the end of their east coast dates, which will culminate in New Jersey, Iero’s hometown.

In October of last year, Frank Iero and the Patience released a sophomore album, Parachutes, which has given listeners everything they could ask for. Iero’s music progressed from the rigged, DIY basement punk that sounds homemade and raw, to a more refined and polished punk rock masterpiece. The lyrics are unregrettably honest and come from the depths of Iero’s soul, only to give listeners a true sense for what goes on inside his head. With bringing Ross Robinson on board, Iero tells Teal Magazine about his experience working with the legendary producer who pushed him out of his comfort zone: “[Ross] is just so kind and so supportive and emotionally present. He asks all of the right questions, like questions you don't necessarily want to answer. He really gets into your head, but like in the best way possible. And here’s the thing too, you see, I don't know maybe the process is different for other people, maybe he is able to see what you need as a person. But my experience was just the most positive beneficial experience I've ever had.”

With the release of any album, artists go on tour to create a live experience for listeners. Unfortunately, the band found themselves in a life-altering accident days before the release, which stole that initial period of excitement every artist looks forward to when sharing their work. Parachutes carries an overarching theme of how things in life essentially happen for us instead of to us. There is always a reason and always a lesson to be learned, and that is the beauty of it. Iero is incredibly honest in sharing how the accident became a real life example of what he conveys to listeners in this album. “I didn't think I was ever going to get to do that again, and to have that be kind of like stolen from you, it knocked like the wind out of my lungs, and like the soul out of my chest kind of thing. It was all encompassing and it took me a couple of weeks to kind of sit down and really listen to the record. [It] was so sad that I had been so proud of this thing and maybe not get to ever do it again, especially with the songs I’d worked on so hard but when I listened to it, it felt like I had almost written myself this letter.”

Iero has spent a good portion of his life touring, but has since left those rockstar days behind. Years later, the solo project has Iero back on the road again. With three young children at home, we asked Iero about what it is like being away from his family, “No, it’s hard man, it is. Especially when my kids are young still, they're starting to understand but they're not fully there. They'll ask you questions like, ‘Oh wow, I don't understand like you know my friend [for example] Erica’s dad doesn't leave for weeks and months on end.’ And I'm like ‘Yeah, well first off, Erica’s dad is a dick’, and so it’s like, no I don't say that, but uh it's true, but you know like some [or] most dads get to be there like maybe in the morning for a little bit and then they go to work and then they'll get to see you before you go to bed. And I feel like if you accumulate all those minuscule times and compare it to when I'm off the road, I'm there completely like I probably get more time or at least more quality time you know. By the way, I'm totally kidding about Erica’s dad. Ha! I just made that thing up.”

Teal Magazine: We’re gonna go tell Erica’s dad.

Frank Iero: No, don't tell Erica’s dad. I have to see him at a PTA meeting. But also too, I think it’s really cool that I get to go to different places and bring back like kinder eggs and weird, different things.

Iero’s exploration into a solo career started in 2014 with recording a few songs to reclaim his creativity, which eventually turned into the foundation of a full-fledged album. The difference in both albums stems from who the intended audience was. Stomachaches was not created for others to hear, until a friend of his heard the album, which led to an eventual record deal. “When I set out to do this solo thing, I decided I would name the band after something I needed to bring with me or wanted around me and then I was like alright that’s done and now I gotta go in the studio and kind of like think the process of going to the studio and making a second record, or third record, or fourth record, is you’ve kind of got to go in and reinvent yourself and kind of re-figure out like what it is that you do, how do you do it, you know, what things are supposed to sound like and if you do it correctly, you sound completely different basically from where you were. Cause you've grown as an artist and as a person. The downfall is that you have to call the band the same thing and I was like, well that really stinks and then I thought to myself well if it’s a solo project then there’s no rules. Like I could just do whatever the hell I wanted, so I want to change the name.” Keeping things unorthodox, Iero foresees continuing to change his band’s name. The work behind building a new band's aesthetic and visuals is what excites him. Iero has explored many artistic outlets, everything from painting to photography. A creative mind leaves an artist hungry for their next piece of work. For Iero, he loves the challenge of figuring out how to do something along the way, sort of “stumbling [his] way through it”. DIY is taken quite literally when Iero decided to create a sculpture from a piece of wood and nails, which would be featured on the cover of his Record Store Day release, For Jamia. The passion behind everything Iero does is undeniable and is well appreciated by those who connect with his work.

On the Parachutes track list, a theme of darkness is apparent. With such unique names, it makes sense to be curious about how Iero goes about coming up with these outrageous names. “I think it’s song to song. Sometimes you come up with a name and you're like, ‘Oh that’s so good, I got to write that down and sometimes it becomes a song. Sometimes it just stays in your phone, you know as a weird little uh quip, I guess”.

One of the more interesting titles is Veins! Veins!! Veins!!!!, a song that discusses “Being the offspring of addiction and/or offspring of an addict and knowing that it runs like through you and that you could definitely go that way if you wanted to”. Veins! is one of the many powerful concepts Iero explores on the record. This song was supposed to be the name of the album, but according to Iero, “It didn't work out that way and I'm really glad it didn’t. When I thought it was going to be the name of the record, I only imagined it being like an EP. And um, it didn't encompass everything that I was trying to say, so that’s why I kind of pushed it aside… It just kind of, because I felt like basically in a nutshell I'm going off on a tangent, do you want me to go off on a tangent?” The room bursts into laughter. Other titles like Remedy and Oceans seem simple, but an observant look at the lyrics reveals much more depth than one can imagine.

The music industry can be filled with entitled artists who forget those that helped them along the way to success. Iero’s humble and genuine demeanor is refreshing and greatly appreciated. Speaking with him feels as if you are talking with a friend, a comfort level you do not reach with strangers right off the bat. Iero must be on the top of everyone’s list for the ice breaker question “Who you would have dinner with, dead or alive?”. This man has so much to say, and each and every word is worth hearing. Frank Iero and the Patience is a project filled with a masterful sound and lyrics, and definitely not a band to fall off your radar. Iero’s personality shines on stage, leaving an everlasting connection with each crowd, bringing them back to the next set for more. Not only are these crowds incredibly invested in him as a person and artist, but the diverse age range brings an entirely new element and shows the lasting effect of Iero’s successes.

While one tour has ended, Frank Iero and the Patience will be touring Europe with Dave Hause and the Mermaid and The Homeless Gossip Choir. On September 22nd, an EP titled, Keep The Coffins Coming, will be released, which acts as the missing link between Stomaches and Parachutes.

© 2017 TEAL MAGAZINE

[loquaciouslacedaemonian-blog]

Thoughts on Genocide in Undertale

I just finished playing Undertale for the first time about a few weeks ago. I sort of avoided the whole thing when it first came out a few years ago because it just seemed like some kind of flavor-of-the-month type thing, you know that thing everyone obsesses about for a while but ultimately is forgotten when something new comes along to replace it. So I was a bit uninterested in it, I only bought it last December on Steam™ because of a sale and even then still didn’t manage to cultivate enough motivation to play for a while. Since a few weeks ago I’ve played it to completion six times from total genocide to pacifism. Undertale at first seemed to be a simple if not enjoyable romp but underneath it explores intriguing themes, which Genocide in particular explores these thought-inducing themes. It’s just sort of been sitting in my brain (my thoughts on Genocide), bubbling and frothing, and I feel the urge to get my thoughts out about it coherently in writing or I might experience some kind of cartoonish episode with steam coming from my ears in nose or something.

What really strikes me as so thought provoking is how the game explores player psychology, in other words what drives a player to act in certain ways and what does that mean in regards to the player. If you have only played Undertale to completion through Neutral and Pacifist routes some of Undertale’s like more thought provoking themes will mostly be just hinted at, shallow glimpses of it here and there, notably through brief conversations with Sans and Flowey but Undertale really explores these ideas when a player commits to finishing a Genocide route.  

In Non-Genocide the player will play the game in the way that is syncretic with the most enjoyable mechanics of the game. Act’ing with monsters rather than Fight’ing them is in all respects a more interesting way to interface with the game and is rewarded with whimsical dialogue immediately and later on with dialogue with other characters, interesting Boss fights, puzzles, etc.. In Genocide all these things are sort of like just stripped away. The Fight interactions in Undertale are arguably the least interesting and most tedious way of dispatching monsters, and Genocide forces the player to use this interaction not only for all monsters encountered but forces the player to endure tedium and boredom seeking out every monster to destroy them and advancing too far into the game before doing so will prevent the player from killing them, so it also easy to make a mistake and be put on track for Neutral, rather than Genocide. All the puzzles, in Genocide, are completed before the player arrives. The areas are vacant of monsters to talk to (vacant of the ones who don’t attack you), the music of the areas is replaced with a stretched, distorted version of the normal track interlaced with roaring booms. Even Boss fights end anticlimactically with a single hit aside from Undyne and Sans.

What makes the Genocide run compelling in spite of tedium and stringent boredom is how it (Genocide) cynically deconstructs the game. In the ending for Pacifist, for instance, the player apparently defeats Asriel Dreamur through the friendships and love that the player has for the character’s they’ve spent hours befriending and becoming emotionally invested in and the world of Undertale as a whole. In Genocide, however, the source of power for the character is not given these pretenses. Undyne, the first of the two challenging fights, also draws on the same motivation that narratively the player had in Pacifist. She thinks of her friends, the world, and draws her strength from this after receiving a near fatal blow by the player character. However, she is defeated. This serves to illustrate that these things, friendship, love, emotional investment, etc., really don’t matter in the context of interfacing with Undertale. In Pacifist and Neutral the player is introduced to Determination as a recurring meme, used encouragingly on the player’s death and humorously at save points throughout the game. In the Undyne fight, this is where the idea of Determination is no longer a meme but is shown to be the true source of power for the player and character. If the player is determined then they can overcome any challenge in a game because by nature games are systems with a win goal that can be achieved by the player. Throughout Genocide save points text boxes will read simply “Determination”, as if reminding the player that their determination to finish Genocide is what gives them the power to continue enduring unpleasantness.

In the end of Neutral and Pacifist the player is introduced to the concept of Level of Violence and Execution Points as an abstraction of the player’s emotional withdrawal from the world, which, at least on a first time playing through, will in some way be acquired whether through accidental murder or purposeful. The inevitable acquisition of LVL and EXP in a player’s first time interfacing with Underatle, I think, shows that all players have some disposition towards violence and some disconnect, mentally, from their interface with the game and their effects on the world. In Genocide I felt absolutely terrible for killing Toriel, what she said in her final moments before oblivion really plucked an emotional string. As I continued through I did find it easier and easier to commit violence as my LVL increased and boredom started to be a primary emotional state, until finally by the time I reached the Core I was Alt-Tab’ed, watching YouTube™ videos while occasionally shifting my attention back to murder a monster. If that isn’t an emotional disconnect between my actions and their effect then I don’t know what is. This of course is all subjective and my personal emotional reaction will not be absolute for all players, even at the highest level that can be reached I still felt a small nub of guilt for the final murder that the player can perform at the end of Genocide.

Sans serves not only as the second and final challenge of the game and the climax of Genocide, but as personally my final severance of attachment to any character in the game. Sans is by far the most difficult fight in Undertale. Sans breaks conventions that were established by the game, Sans attacks first, you can be hurt in between attacks, Sparing leads to failure, and attacks can be commenced by Sans unexpectedly. The only way to beat Sans is to spend hours memorizing his attacks until the player acts reflexively, and you have no friends to help you like in Asreil Dreamur’s fight (the player sort of killed all their would-be-friends at this point, after all), which is perhaps the second most difficult fight in Undertale. All that’s left is Determination, determination to finish Genocide despite all the tedium, boredom, and frustration, despite the fact there is, as Sans says, no good to come from Genocide.

During the fight Sans diagnoses the player’s motivations for their chosen method interfacing with Undertale. Sans suggests that the player determines to finish Genocide not out of malice or evil but as a kind of morbid fascination. This by contrast suggests Pacifism is completed through not really any kind of moral abhorrence of violence (as nearly all players have capacity for violence), but from the player’s determination to finish the game without killing any monster. This inverts the player’s motivation in Pacifism quite cynically; a player has Determination to beat the game non-violently not out of any serious moral conviction but from a desire to see more of the game, which is almost identical for the motivations for Genocide.

After needlessly murdering Sans, the player has completed Genocide with only one door separating them from the end of the game. Asgore and Flowey die in the throne room, but not through player action, at this point the player character is now thoroughly controlled by the Fallen Human. When starting the game the player can name the Fallen Human and at first it’s thought to be naming the character the player controls, but in Pacifist it’s revealed that the character the player controls is named Frisk and in Genocide it’s the Fallen Human (which I guess is named Chara?). These two identities come about through contradictory ways of interfacing and marks opposite psychologies of player interaction with video game software. You can imagine Frisk as a manifestation of a player who becomes invested in the game emotionally, talking to all the characters, befriending them, indulging in exposition dumps of game lore, etc.. Fallen Human can be imagined to be a player who skips dialogue and grinds monsters into extinction to max stats without regard toward it’s affect upon the world.  Each manifestation of player psychology has its own conclusion, Frisk being a Deus ex Machina happy ending with man and Fallen Human being a permanent blight on the game.

Once Genocide is completed the Underground and world above are destroyed but to Reset the game has a lasting consequence to future games played. In Neutral lasting consequences of player actions were ultimately shallow and served, in my opinion, as an introduction to the consequence of Genocide. Upon completing Genocide and resetting there is a flag placed on the game that would corrupt subsequent completions of Pacifist with an ending that invalidates the happy ending. To complete Genocide it required for the player to emotionally distance themselves from the world, to accept that the characters in the game have a disposable emotional value to the player, and the corruption of Pacifist is a narrative change that reflects the player’s change (You really don’t care about the characters, huh? Well then I guess you won’t mind if I just invalidate your happy ending, then, will you?). However, I don’t believe that this blight of the game is necessarily directed toward the player’s arbitrary and cruel actions inside the game space. The consequence of genocide doesn’t really focus it’s critique on the capriciousness of players, however there is a little of that interspersed throughout the game, but more of a critique on how some players view games as disposable systems. Viewing of games as cold and impersonal systems is really what leads the player to Genocide and this is what the game critiques, not necessarily violence in of itself but the cold impersonal min-maxing that precludes emotional investment, which I feel is the ultimate thematic message of Genocide.

Man, I wrote way too many words about a game that no one even cares about anymore, I just wasted like three hours. 

[all-things-tmnt]

Thoughts on “Tokka Vs. The World”:

Remember that one time when Raph adopted a turtle from space after its mother (Tokka) was seemingly killed and we all were like “well, at least Raph gets a happy ending?” ...Remember that one time months later when it turns out that Tokka survived and came to earth to get her baby back? We’re rolling back into things with a huge opening in our final stretch to the end of season three. When a monster from their past threatens to destroy their whole world, the turtles must team up with Chompy to save the earth from Tokka’s wrath. Will they succeed? Probably, but let’s see!  This post is so ALIVE with spoilers, so if you want to avoid them from burning you up, don’t keep reading.  If you haven’t seen this comeback episode, now would be a great time to click here and watch it!

There’s some kind of pun to be found here along the lines of, “you can take the baby turtle out of space but you can’t take the space out of the baby turtle without its mother coming to absolutely murder you...” I’m sure it’ll come to me at some point in writing this, and I’ll let you guys know when I got it.  Interesting things:       - “Hey guys, remember how we gave Raph a space pet and never did anything with him ever again? Well we should make him a major plot device for reasons.” - The TMNT Writers, probably.       - As a person who was never a fan of Chompy and/or didn’t care about his existence since he was introduced.....he is really cute.       - Also, I appreciate the Godzilla reference.      - There are many reasons Chompy shouldn’t play with Ice Cream Kitty, one being that he could literally murder the cat because HE BREATHES FIRE.       - He apparently farts fire as well.       - “Dude, you ever think about how big Chompy will get one day?” I have literally thought about that since they decided to take him Michelangelo.      - “I feel bad about Chompy’s mom.” LOL REALLY DO YOU NOW?????      - “Donnie said there’s probably nothing that could survive a super nova.” LOL REALLY NOW?????????????????      - Someone please try to explain to me how Tokka knew where Chompy was. Don’t tell me she followed his scent or whatever because there is no oxygen in space and no smell. This is going to be a filler to the highest degree, isn’t it?      - Am I the only person who still waits for the Triceraton foot to stomp down on the manhole cover in the theme song...? I swear that gave me PTSD.       - Donnie and Casey getting along is my aesthetic.       - So I guess we’re not done with this crystal business?       - THIS JUST IN: NASA AND THE EPF WORK TOGETHER.       - STAY CLASSY NEW YORK. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. NICE.       - How on earth did Splinter instantly know that it was coming straight for Chompy? I mean come on.      - OH COME ON LEO, YOU HAVE SEEN TOKKA, YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU CAN’T JUST SPEAK TO THAT MASSIVE THING AND OFFER HER BABY BACK. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE HOW THAT CONVERSATION WOULD GO WERE IT POSSIBLE? “HEY LOL SORRY WE STOLE YOUR CHILD THANKS BYE.”      - I typed that in all CAPS because it mattered that much to me.       - You know Casey’s been poorly written for too long if even he’s surprised when he’s right.      - ALL. HAIL. BISHOP.       - Dear God I don’t even understand what this pep talk is.      - Casey being so useful in this episode and the writers are literally MOCKING HIM because he’d finally being written the way he should be. STOP. BEING. AWFUL. TO. CASEY.      - “And not semi-idiotic.” My new favorite line of the series.      - I appreciated the fun running towards TCRI montage.       - That guy was watching cat videos.       - I’m sorry but there is no way they got into that elevator like that. I don’t even understand what just happened.       - LOLOLOLOLOL @ THAT TMNT MOVIE REFERENCE!!!!!!!!!      - Casey had a weapon that could have sent those grenades back. He did not use it. Ugh.      - “We gotta get to that other ship!” There are literally 20 other ships. Which one is “that other” one?      - “Destroy what you don’t understand.” DONATELLO, YOU ARE MY HERO. I feel like that was an underlying political message.       - ALL. HAIL. BISHOP. !!!!!!!!!!!.       - “I have become ambassador to earth.” That I’m not entirely thrilled about but I mean whatever. this whole season has just screwed with logic so much.       - That awkward moment when Raph goes against Bishop and I am literally forced to side wth Bishop.       - “He’s my sidekick in my mission to cleanse the city of evil.” WHAT? WHAT????? NO. I’M NOT OKAY WITH THAT.       - Raph and Bishop’s “fight” was just added to the list of things this series didn’t need.      - Not to be a downer but those pilots just exploded.       - So after ALL THAT TALK AND ALMOST FIGHTING, Bishop just lets them go. REALLY.       - THOSE TWO SOLDIERS JUST STOOD THERE WHILE BISHOP TOOK OUT THE FIRST ONE AND THEN DID NOTHING TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST HIM.       - Casey is the best thing about this episode.       - Pretty sure Tokka just set New York City on fire.       - “YAAAAAAAS Mom YAAAAAASSSSSSS.” - Chompy, probably.       - People are definitely dying in New York City right now. Tokka and the EPF are literally killing thousands of people.       - Leo, please don’t fall back into your self-missions-of-definite-suicides again. That’s been our trope in season four and it hasn’t worked out.       - I love watching Leo fight. Even though I told him not to do this last bullet point...he’s always choreographed so well and I love itttt.      - Raph’s sense of balance is impossibly amazing.       - Donnie is the only one who’s logically looking at any of this begging for Tokka not to eat them.      - Can Tokka even understand Raph? Or hear him for the matter???      - As a person who is almost constantly way too emotionally invested in this series, I gotta say, I am not moved by this episode at all...especially this scene with Raph talking to Tokka and saying goodbye to Chompy. Sorry not sorry I guess.       - YOU’VE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING. ME.       - I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW WITH THIS “RESOLUTION” THAT IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY.       - Casey can add “tasering a general” to his rap sheet.       - That was the best high three of the series.       - Tokka launching and flying away is still as stupid as it was the first time we saw it.       - Leo cheering for his brother from the sidelines gave me feels.       - Chompy will leave earth some day confirmed. Not through the duration of this series, though.  Well...I guess I have to do breakdowns? There’s really not much serious depth to this episode. Not any that affects the overall plot, anyway. But the best thing about this episode is Casey. ...I know, I thought I’d never get to say that in a review, either. But seriously! This is the first episode where I was consistently rooting for Casey the entire time. Seeing him do so many things right for once was so great. What wasn’t great was that even the writers point out the dialogue that Casey has never been this useful before. And it’s frustrating because we know Casey is capable of great things if he’s given the chance to be! From the first moment we see him when he points out he’s concerned, to the awesome ideas he has, to the fighting he does, he’s solid from start to finish in this episode and I genuinely hope this is a turning point for his character. Here’s to hoping we get more of this Casey and less of “beginning of season four Casey.” Another thing I wanted to point out that happened in this episode was Casey pointing out Mikey is his sidekick. Mikey. Not Raph. I’ve definitely complained about it before, but Casey and Raph have always had a bromance in TMNT. I haven’t seen it nearly enough in this series yet, and it’s been bothering me. When Casey first met Raph, we were instantly given the promise that they were going to be bros, and there haven’t been enough episodes showing us their friendship in depth like other incarnations have shown us. This episode feels like it teased us with the things Casey should and can be, and I hope like hell we’ll get a Raph-Casey episode soon.  Bishop just randomly popping up was great, because I’ve missed seeing him. Bishop randomly popping up as ambassador to earth was kind of weird. I mean, how could we have not gotten any forewarning about that? I would assume he’d contact the turtles about it, especially seeing as they fought together and he (along with the other Utroms) had entrusted them with the Black Hole Generator pieces. Him popping up and being so relevant kind of fit the theme of this whole episode, which was... SHOVING IRRELEVANT THINGS DOWN OUR THROATS! These are my final thoughts: this episode is basically pointless. Or at least, I feel like everything in this episode is pointless. I mean, considering I’ve been waiting so long for new episodes to come back, on top of the fact that we are literally closing in on what has promised to be an INCREDIBLE finale episode, seeing this episode that in no way enhances the plot was a bit frustrating. 2012 has done fillers before, but there’s always one or two moments in those fillers that play a huge role in the main story. This episode has nothing; it reminds us that Raph had a turtle, tries to put us through some moments that end up not mattering at all. Seriously, you expect me to believe that giant space turtle flew all the way to earth and just decided NOT to take her baby back because it seemed attached to Raph? I can’t deal. And like I said; we’re so close to the finale. I want to see us building towards that. Not wasting time on a pointless filler. I mean I didn’t hate the episode, but I hated that it gave me nothing to prepare me for the next step in our story. So honestly, I gotta give this one a 6/10, and that’s me being nice.  So now that we’ve gotten this little one-shot out of the way...The Tale of Tiger Claw is coming up next. We’re finally going to get to look at the back story of one of our biggest enemies. So that’s exciting.  But, before we’re meeting Alopex and talking TC, let’s talk about Tokka. Let me know what you guys liked and didn’t like  here. Previous review for The Power Inside Her here. All season four reviews here. All episode reviews index here. Podcast review here.

[stringnarratives]

Phantoms of an Opera: “Prey”

[This post brought to you with major spoilers for Bethesda’s 2017 game “Prey.” It does not contain spoilers for the video game by the same name from which this one was rebooted or Michael Crichton’s 2002 book “Prey.” ]

On its most explicit level, “Prey” is about Morgan Yu, a new employee of space-based neurological research corporation TranStar-- a venture in which Morgan’s whole family is monetarily and professionally invested and their brother is the research head. However, seemingly only a few days into a research voyage into space, the alien species-- called Typhon-- that TranStar has used to create neurological injections revolt against the crew of the Talos I vessel, propelling Morgan into a life-or-death conflict against the creatures, the malfunctioning technology aboard the ship and humans that have been corrupted (physically and/or emotionally) by the Typhon. It becomes clear as the narrative progresses, however, that the situation is much more complicated than a simple laboratory leak, and Morgan must make choices that significantly affect the livelihoods of the crew members left alive aboard Talos I. 

By its own terms, the game is an often-creepy, first-person-shooter, sci-fi action adventure set aboard an Art Deco space ship in an alternate universe. However, all of those descriptors aside, one of “Prey”’s most unique traits exists on a level slightly removed from the alien-blasting escapades of Morgan Yu. 

According to the game’s official guide, there are 267 persons other than Morgan aboard Talos I at the story’s start-- crew members, guests and volunteers who have made the vessel their home. Evidence of their existence is scattered throughout the game in the form of emails, Typhon-controlled corpses (called phantoms, for their humanoid form and apparently fragmented memories of their previous lives), abandoned belongings and “Bioshock”-esque audio diaries. Finding these informational items is an optional part of Morgan’s ultimate quest-- many are stumbled upon over the course of completing other tasks-- but, when collected properly and strung together, they build a narrative that is closer to a ghost story than a horror game, and much closer to a space opera than sci-fi action.

As revealed in these left-behind messages, in the days preceding the Typhon revolt, the crew of Talos I went about their days as usual, performing normal duties to keep the ship running and research progressing as needed. Ship-wide automated reminders to regularly check in with a mental health expert remind us that many were experiencing mental discord as a side affect of working with the Typhon, as well as normal emotional difficulties that might come with working in an isolated environment. Snacks and coffee are squirreled away in desks and lab cabinets. Spare parts and day-to-day technology still litter workstations. When the laboratory breach begins “Prey,” these routine activities were cut short as specialists rushed to their posts or defended positions, leaving behind messy spreads of belongings, from elaborately planned workplace pranks to popular novels left on bedside tables. 

The items and messages paint a picture of a voyage that was more or less going well. Although the crew members are primarily background to Morgan, most of them carry their own small plot arcs as well. Some have gripes with management that work towards or away from resolution. A few have on-board romances going on. Others are seeking ways to stay entertained in the contained quarters of Talos I. 

Taken alone, they could be the abstracts for episodes of a long-running sci-fi show about the employees of a semi-sketchy corporate research machine with an ensemble cast in the vein of “Star Trek.” Each episode would follow a single crew member in the minor personal and workplace dramas that led up to the emergency and probably run on a motif that some aspects of life never change, even if life is set in space 15 years in the future.

In the game, however, they don’t stand alone, but rather provide a colorful background against which “Prey” takes place, adding a sense of motivation to the player’s actions. Although the player has the opportunity to let the encountered background characters die (or kill the characters themself, which can even earn the “I and It” achievement in the game), encounters with the small bits of mundane drama scattered throughout the ship are meant to inspire empathy and a level of heroism-- a major theme that becomes more prevalent as “Prey” progresses. Knowing the backstories of those who remain alive or under alien control on the ship after the attack gives the player an argument for being more thoughtful about gameplay as a whole.  

Perhaps one of the most affecting stories noted in my playthrough was the relationship between chief archivist Danielle Sho and sanitation boss Abigail Foy. Through emails and audio recordings, the player can trace the pair’s budding relationship-- their shared days off, nights playing board games with friends, even arguments over some of the daily events aboard Talos I. However, after an encounter with the very much alive Danielle Sho, it’s revealed that the pair was separated after the major events leading up to the game, and Foy’s body is found not much later, one victim of a non-corrupted human enemy aboard the ship. Sho then requests that the player avenge her loss-- and later will judge them on whether or not they defeated the traitor.

Because while “Prey” is, at its surface, a story about the effects of humanity’s tendency to go to any lengths for progress and profit, it is also-- at its heart-- a story about the things that make us human. As much as it is about the disaster that has befallen Talos I, it’s also about the people who were there when it happened. And although we don’t encounter them all face-to-face over the course of the adventure, its their ghosts wandering the halls, telling subtle secrets that make the game all the deeper.

[thebluesideofthemoon]

The Wall #45: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Okay, I did say that the Zootopia re-review was going to be next, but this is something I need to get out of the way right now. Yes, I saw this movie, Collateral Beauty, a while back actually - it was the last movie I saw last year (I saw it in vacation), and my family are all big Will Smith fans, and I do love me some Will Smith, so this could have been a real treat, right?

HOOOOOOOO BOY. THIS is a BAD movie. This is the kind of bad movie that becomes legendary by its sheer shittiness.

So this movie’s plot is that Will Smith dealing with the grief of having lost his daughter to a horrible accident and is coping with it by sending these letters to the concepts of Death, Time, and Love, only for those concepts to then become personified and help him deal with his trauma.

Now, I know this sounds like a weepy, kind of corny, melodramatic movie that comes out around this time of year to try to tug at your heartstrings and maybe attempt to nab an Oscar or two. I’m not the biggest fan of these kind of movies because I find they just do nothing but try to be as emotionally manipulative as possible while giving you a cornball script and pretty shallow execution- it only succeeds because the themes in and of themselves are sad, and they only play them with the one note of sadness. This isn’t always the case, as a movie like Son of Saul works wonderfully by giving us far other emotions than just sadness- it also has fear, hope, suspense, it actually gets you to connect with the characters, so it’s not just sad for sake of being sad, there’s a lot more to it that allows it become more than “just another Holocaust movie”.

It may sound like I’m going off on a tangent, but I need to make this clear for a reason- I know these kind of movies exist, but if they don’t have much more going for them there’s no reason for me to see them, but at the very least they have the dignity to know what they are, and get in and get out. I thought this was going to be one of those. I thought I would just say that “yeah, I know some people will find this sort of thing sad, but it’s not for me. 4/10” and that’s where the story would normally end.

… unfortunately, not for this. To give the movie the very little credit it deserves it absolutely surprised me, blindsided me, you could even say it shocked me because it turned out to be absolutely NOT what I was expecting. What this movie DID turn out to be was one of the biggest, most pretentious, absolutely vile, mean-spirited piles of shit I have ever seen in my life.

For one, the plot of the movie that you see in the trailers (as I detailed above) is A BIG LIE! Yes, Will Smith does have to cope with the grief of losing his daughter, but two things: 1. He’s actually not the main character of the movie, it’s actually Edward Norton, Michael Pena, and Kate Winslet, his friends. 2. The plot involves them GASLIGHTING Will Smith. Eeeeeyup. What actually happens is that they all work for an ad agency where Norton and Smith are partner owners, and now that Smith is depressed they’re losing their clients because Ed Norton is pretty useless at dealing with them. So he, and two other co-workers, Pena and Winselt, all form a plan to sell the company under Will Smith’s nose- thanks to an offer they were given to have the company bought out by $17 per share (which is easy to remember when the movie only mentions it a measly twenty or thirty times throughout the movie’s run time)- by making him look crazy by hiring actors to play the abstract concepts of Death, Time, and Love (played by Helen Mirren, Jacob Latimore, and Keira Knightley, respectively) so they can get Will Smith fired. All while these actors all tie into in a “metaphorical way” to these three characters because one of them is dying, one of them has a daughter who hates them, and the other one works too much to the point where they ignore having kids, even though these people are some of the most cruel assholes in New York City history.

That sure does sound like a fun movie, doesn’t it?! Where… the fuck… do I begin?

The story is by far what gets on my nerves the most. For one it’s a movie that it’s basically built on conveniences for 90% of the time; the tension of the movie hinges on nobody, aside from Will Smith, being able to see that these actors are there. So everyone else around them just pretends that these actors aren’t there to keep the illusion that they are visions that Will Smith is seeing to prove that he’s gone crazy. One of the most egregious examples of this happens when we see through a digital camera Will Smith talking with Helen Mirren but she’s somehow removed from the footage even though EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM KNEW THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY THERE, because apparently these concepts can decide to interact with other people just because they can. In NEW YORK CITY. Because Will Smith just accepts that these concepts are real, and not once bothers to find out if this is true, even though this is a plan that could have easily backfired. So did these three scumbags also hire everyone else in New York to act as if they can’t see Death, Time, and Love because that would ruin the illusion? No explanation given on that at all! The movie also has two particularly awful twist endings, which I’ll get to once I go through the rest of things wrong with this abomination of a movie.

Not since Movie 43 have I seen so many good actors completely wasted on such awful material. Most of the actors are directed like they were on a middle school play, and this is one of those movies where it was clearly only given the direction of “act sad. No, sadder. No, REALLY sad, because we need to wring out every single piece of emotional manipulation out of this wretched piece of trite”.

Yes, I know that movies by nature are manipulative, but there is a way to have a movie tug at your heartstrings in a genuine way that is earned when the characters and conflict are that well fleshed out and allow you to get invested because you want to see these people succeed- a movie like Anomalisa pulls this off because even though the main character himself isn’t necessarily a completely good person, they flesh out his dilemma so well that you completely understand why he goes through what he does- you can feel the emotions, you can connect with him, you can relate to the situations because they managed to make them feel completely and absolutely real, and when those sort of real emotional situations get pulled off in the way that something like Anomalisa does it, it sticks with you, it weighs on your mind, it makes you feel a rollercoster of emotions and it really hits home!

That doesn’t happen when the main characters are all slimy scumbags who want to screw over their friend majorly (whom, by the way, is apparently depressed enough by his daughter’s death that he pretty much becomes a vegetable, yet still manages to keep himself fed, well-kept- sure he has a bit of grey in his hair, but he’s still WILL SMITH), not really caring about his well-being because they are in actuality really shitty people- not that the movie ever calls them out on it because it’s too busy being really fucking proud of itself on how clever it is, and how much it’s trying to get you to cry. It’s monotonous at best, and it feels really underhanded at worst because it’s a movie that is trying to get a rise out of its audience in the cheapest way possible. It’s the reason why I absolutely despised movies like Home and Remember Me so much because they tried to pull the card of trying to make you feel emotional investment on a movie that doesn’t really warrant it! But at least those movies only did them in bits and pieces, NOT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!

And the dialogue! Oh God, is it terrible! Most of it is either talking about selling this building, it’s really stilted, or it means absolutely fucking nothing. They mention the phrase “collateral beauty” so much in this movie AND IT MEANS NOTHING! It’s a meaningless statement that wouldn’t get irritating if it wasn’t for the fact that they mention it SEVERAL IN TIMES IN THE MOVIE! It’s by far the worst title drop I’ve seen in any movies since, oh gee, THE LAST MOVIE I REVIEWED THAT STARRED WILL SMITH. “How could this movie get worse?” did you ask? I will tell you because this movie offers a very special deal: TWO shitty twists for the price of one, which I’m going to spoil because, fuck this movie.

The first twist is that the actors who played Death, Time, and Love… ACTUALLY ARE DEATH, TIME, AND LOVE! They were actually helping Michael Pena, Edward Norton, and Kate Winslet with THEIR problems instead of Will Smith… because that makes a lot of sense, it’s not like they’ve been fucking him over this entire movie. They also do end up taking their money ($20,000 each) for their services, which is admittedly the one genuinely funny thing about the movie (whether or not that was intentional is hard to tell because this movie fucking sucks).

The second, and by far WORSE, twist comes in the form of Howard (that’s Will Smith’s character) meeting this woman named Madeline (played by Naomi Harris, who appeared in Skyfall and Spectre, and another 2016 movie that I will talk about later, Moonlight) who works at this support group, to which Howard comes into and constantly interacts with her. Evidently she too lost a daughter in a tragic accident, and talks to him about how her ex-husband sends her notes that say “if only we could be strangers again”. However, it turns out that Will Smith IS her ex-husband, and she was talking about the same girl that they both lost the same way. At no point in the movie do you ever get a hint that these two used to be in a relationship of any way because they literally act like strangers around each other. Also, she’s completely okay with her ex-husband saying things like he just had a conversation with Death and Time.

DOES THIS MOVIE LOATHE ITSELF?! DO THEY GET OFF TO THIS?! IN WHAT PLANET DO THEY THINK THAT THIS IS HOW HUMANS INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER?! I DON’T GET IT! THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING INSANE!

Collateral Beauty is disgusting. This isn’t a movie like Anomalisa, or Son of Saul, or Her; those movies play with your heartstrings like a cellist with a perfectly smooth, fine-tuned bow. This movie plays the heartstrings like a lunatic ax murderer with a bloody, rusty hacksaw. This isn’t just bad, it’s offensive. It’s vile, it’s repulsive, and it may just very well be the worst holiday movie ever made. This is Oscar Bait done way, WAY wrong. (1,855 words. Music: Undertale- Battle Against a True Hero)

I hate this movie. I absolutely, thoroughly, and very, VERY vehemently hate this movie. If not for Yoga Hosers, then this might be the worst movie I've seen this year, though to give Yoga Hosers a bit of credit, at least that movie never pretended to be anything more than stupid, unfunny bad movie. I was a bit conflicted on what to rate this movie, but I think I've got it.

Though this is VERY close to being a 0, this movie can still kiss my ass. It is THAT awful. Maybe I wouldn't hate it so much if it wasn't so dishonest, but this movie can rightfully fuck off. Well, I sure hope you guys enjoy this review I sure didn't! And I'll talk to you all next time on The Wall!

[gibsongirlselections]

The Tyranny of Tenderness

Last month in the Washington Post, Georgetown professor Christy E. Lopez explained what “defunding the police” actually means. Apparently it does not mean the abolition of police forces, but a redirection of their existing funding to more compassionate and concerned social welfare providers.

Lopez, the co-director of Georgetown’s Innovative Policing Program, writes:

For most proponents, “defunding the police” does not mean zeroing out budgets for public safety… defunding the police means shrinking the scope of police responsibilities and shifting most of what government does to keep us safe to entities that are better equipped to meet that need. It means investing more in mental-health care and housing, and expanding the use of community mediation and violence interruption programs.

In other words, let’s stop using force and start using more compassionate methods to address the gang violence, drug abuse, homelessness, human trafficking, prostitution and crime that pollutes our cities and brings misery to so many.

No doubt better housing, health care, community mediation and “violence interruption programs” would help. but the help social welfare programs offer is a band-aid on cancer. The problems in our society are far deeper, and materialistic solutions are not only inefficient, they are often ineffective in the long term. While they can be part of the solution, if social programs are driven by a naive and tenderhearted ideology they can actually be dangerous.

The novelist Walker Percy snatched a quote from his fellow Southern Catholic writer Flannery O’Connor to provide the theme for his novel The Thanatos Syndrome. In Mystery and Manners O’Connor wrote, “In the absence of… faith, we govern by tenderness. It is a tenderness which, long cut off from the person of Christ, is wrapped in theory. When tenderness is detached from the source of tenderness, its logical outcome is terror. It ends in forced-labor camps and in the fumes of the gas chamber.”

Percy picks up the ball from O’Connor and runs with it. Rather than the typical horrific dystopia, Percy’s nightmare world is easygoing. In dozy Feliciana parish, old-fashioned Southern gentility saunters in seersucker and sips bourbon while planning a congenial genocide.  A psychiatrist, Tom More, observes that something strange is going on. His wife and former patients are behaving in a bizarre fashion. They seem emotionally dead, answer questions with simplistic speech patterns and engage in simian sexual behaviors. They seem strangely happy and have lost their old anxieties, phobias, neuroses and unique personality traits. They have become cheerful zombies.

Dr. More figures out that the syndrome is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and he tracks its genesis to the local water supply. The artificial happiness is caused by a high dosage of heavy sodium in the water, and the conspirators are the leading figures of the town, including two of Tom’s colleagues. They try to get him on board with the conspiracy saying they have government funding and secret backing. Their plan is social engineering. 

By secretly suppressing certain behaviors they claim to have reduced crime, cured AIDS and gotten rid of anxiety, suicides and repeat offending by criminals.

By controlling the libido they have eliminated sex crimes and homosexuality, and by modulating the female reproductive cycle they have a built in population control mechanism. Suddenly there are no more teen pregnancies, no need for sex education or contraceptives, and abortion is a thing of the past. 

The tenderhearted utilitarians argue that a dose of heavy sodium in the drinking water is no worse than putting fluoride in the water supply. 

Father Smith—an eccentric priest who lives in a fire watcher’s tower—opens Dr More’s eyes by recounting his experiences as a young student visiting Germany in the 1930s. Smith mingled with a set of charming, sophisticated Germans. Well educated and cultured, the German doctors quote Rilke, play Brahms and discuss the rise of Hitler and the Jewish problem. When Smith returns as a G.I. he finds that his sophisticated friends were the very ones involved in eugenics, euthanasia and genocide.

It is an unfortunate shorthand in our Twitter age that we dismiss our opponents by calling them Nazis, so not knowing Professor Lopez, I would not wish to label her, nor would I wish to write off her proposals for mental health facilities, community mediation and violence interruption programs as the nefarious schemes of the Gestapo de nos jours. However, if the only thing the tenderhearted have to offer is utilitarian and materialistic solutions, one has to ask how those solutions will be implemented.

Will the homeless and drug addicted be removed from the streets by “community care workers” instead of the police? What if the care workers meet resistance? Will the homeless be removed to “mental health facilities” and be held there against their will? Will the “mental health facilities” have security systems? Locks on the doors? Bars at the windows? Guards? Fences?

Who exactly will determine whether a person is mentally ill and needs to be retained? What will be the criteria for determining mental illness? Might citizens who need “re-education” be sent to such facilities? Who would need re-education? Anyone who opposes the tender new world?

When dealing with murderous gang members, human traffickers, pimps and drug pushers how exactly does “community mediation” work? Who are the community mediators? Do they have any authority? Do they have the backup of sanctions of any kind? What kind of sanctions are they? Financial? Physical? Incarceration? Are there any checks and balances to keep an eye on the community mediators?

One wants to ask, “What precisely is a “violence interruption program” and how does it work? Will those who are interrupting a violent event simply give the gun or knife wielding citizen a good talking to? What if the violent person is high on drugs or surging with irrational rage? If the violence is collective will the people interrupting the violence have the use of body armor? Shields? Tear gas? Tasers? Firearms? 

The problem with replacing the police with social workers is that there would be even less control over those assigned to maintain public safety. Why should we assume that when social workers, community mediators and violence interrupters are under stress that they would be any less prone to brutality and oppression than a man in a blue uniform? For that matter, the roots of racism are part of human nature. Why should we assume that social workers would be any less racist or bigoted against members of some other ethnic, religious or political group?

It is this naivety of the tenderhearted reformers that history teaches us to beware. In Percy’s novel, the “fire watcher” Fr. Smith is the one who reveals what is really going on. There are no death camps or gas chambers in sleepy Louisiana. There are no mass graves, ovens, or corpses stacked like cordwood on the bayou.

Instead, the humanity of the town folk is being chemically dissolved, and in the climactic comic-horror scene we see the final result: in a kind of retro-evolution, the main villains of the piece—child abusers who run a seemingly wholesome school—revert to apelike behavior. Their plan to eliminate human unhappiness has eliminated humanity. Without their phobias and foibles, without their neuroses and nastiness, the residents of the town have not become best. They have become beasts. 

Fr. Smith sums it up in his warning: “Tenderness is the first disguise of the murderer … Never in the history of the world have there been so many civilized tenderhearted souls as have lived in this century … More people have been killed in this century by tenderhearted souls than by cruel barbarians in all other centuries put together … Do you know where tenderness always leads …  To the gas chambers.”

Fr. Dwight Longenecker is a Catholic priest working in Greenville, South Carolina. His book Immortal Combat: Confronting the Heart of Darkness examines the problem of collective violence and its solutions. dwightlongenecker.com

The post The Tyranny of Tenderness appeared first on The American Conservative.

[operawindow9-blog]

What’s missing from our list of 2018’s best TV?

As we wind down 2018, our best-of coverage continues with the following question:

What’s missing from our list of the year’s best TV?

Kyle Fowle

There’s hardly reason to argue with almost any year-end list these days because of the sheer number of good TV shows out there, but I’m genuinely surprised that HBO’s High Maintenance didn’t make our list. The second season of the HBO run keeps with the anthology-esque spirit of the show, but it goes deeper in ways surprising and touching. So, there’s still the random characters that populate New York and The Guy’s life, but what’s different this time around is a narrative through-line involving The Guy’s ex. That character arc, one of pain and jealousy and moving on, adds so much to a season that’s already achingly honest. Add in the fact that one of the year’s best episodes—“Globo,” reckons with the election of Donald Trump, and the completely indescribable feeling of moving through the world on the morning of November 9, 2016 in a smart, poignant, and stirring way—and you have a season of TV that’s more than worthy of any year-end list.

Myles McNutt

It’s difficult for an established reality show to make it into a best of TV list: Beyond the fact that critical conversation privileges scripted programming, reality shows are built on iteration, and that feels less novel or memorable when we reach the list-making time of year. And I’m part of this problem, because I failed to put CBS’ Survivor on my own list despite the fact that its fall cycle has been absurdly enjoyable for a show in its 37th—not a typo—season. Yes, the David Vs. Goliath theme is profoundly dumb. No, I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened during the season that aired in the spring, so 2018 wasn’t all great for the series. But something about the alchemy of casting and game-play has created a season with a succession of satisfying twists and turns, reminding us that although we may not instinctively think of it as list worthy, a reality show 18 years into its run can still create some of television’s best drama and comedy. (I’ll never hear the name “Natalie” without laughing now.)

Eric Thurm

Making reality TV really pop is an artform: There are hundreds of hours of interactions to film, comb through, and precisely edit into a narrative that will make sense, delight viewers, and feel just slightly off, like humans hanging out too many years in the future to quite make sense to us. So every year, I become more and more impressed with the reigning queen of the genre: Vanderpump Rules. The sixth season is one of the show’s best; over half a decade in, Vanderpump Rules remains an examination of fame, misfired charisma, and the terrors of tenuous social status that would put any 19th century novel to shame. Whether it’s Jax Taylor maybe falling in love with his reiki master Kelsey while his relationship with Brittany Cartwright festers like an untreated sore, Stassi Schroeder’s then-boyfriend creating a new god tier of social faux pas by grossly hitting on Lisa freaking Vanderpump, or the slow-moving car crash of James Kennedy ignoring the “best friend” he was clearly sleeping with (not that anyone else cared), Vanderpump Rules remains mesmerizing. The cast of past, present, and future SUR employees are stuck with each other forever, and it’s incredible. It’s not about the pasta; it’s about dread.

Clayton Purdom

Aw, come on—am I the only person who thought Maniac was one of the year’s best? Well, apparently. Cary Joji Fukunaga’s 10-parter was far from perfect, but it aimed admirably high, wrangling spy action, elven fantasy, late-capitalist malaise, intense family dynamics, corporate psychotherapy and more into a freewheeling caper across several levels of reality. It also got career-best comedic performances out of Emma Stone and Justin Theroux and a fine, sad-sack turn from Jonah Hill. And Ben Sinclair! Not all of its ideas stuck, but it was messy, smart, and light in a way I’d love to see more sci-fi attempt.

Dennis Perkins

I’ll admit, I was worried going into the new, Mary Berry-less (not to mention Mel- and Sue-less), Great British Baking Show era, but I am pleased as rum baba to say that this enduringly endearing and delightfully stressful baking competition series has marched on just as sweetly. Sure, there’s a lingering bitter aftertaste to the great British baking show schism that led to those departures, but not on the Great British Baking Show itself, which rides remaining judge Paul Hollywood’s gruff charms alongside new judging partner Prue Leith and celebrity goofballs Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig without missing a trick. The key ingredient to this series’ success has always been the utterly generous heart that goes into every episode, and Fielding and Toksvig, if anything, seem more emotionally invested in the fates of the contestants they have to expel, one-by-one, from the show’s famous tent. And if Hollywood and Leith continue the necessarily merciless judging of soggy bottoms, overworked and under-proved doughs, and the occasional collapsing confectionary disaster, they, too, provide warmly constructive criticism rather than the traditional reality show scorn. A series—as the departed Berry was wont to say—“cram-jammed” with delights, The Great British Baking Show remains one of the most cozily exciting TV experiences going. [Dennis Perkins]

Alex McLevy

Maybe it’s the curse of distance that comes from being released way back in January, or maybe it’s simply a victim of the era of Too Much TV, but I’m bummed out to find the Steven Soderbergh-helmed Mosaic failed to crack our top 25. The miniseries is everything you could want in superlative television: a sharply nuanced and well-written mystery, performed by a coterie of uniformly strong actors at the top of their game (longtime character actor Devin Ratray deserves to be getting award nominations for his star turn), and an ace director brilliantly shooting and editing the whole thing into an intriguing puzzle? It’s the one thing I have felt comfortable recommending to anyone all year long who’s asked me what great show they should check out, regardless of individual tastes, and sadly, not a single person to date has responded with, “I’ve already seen it.” (Feel free to ignore the accompanying multimedia app as an experimental lark on Soderbergh’s part.) You’d think an HBO series from an Oscar-winning director wouldn’t need underdog-status championing, and yet here we are. Give it a watch if you haven’t yet—and odds are, you haven’t.

Caroline Siede

Come on you guys, Netflix’s Queer Eye gave us two full seasons and a special in 2018, and we couldn’t even give it a spot on our list?! I get that it can be hard to stump for reality TV when there’s so much great scripted stuff out there, but Queer Eye at least deserves a special award for being one of the most unexpected joys of 2018. The new Fab Five offered an updated spin on the early ’00s Bravo original, emphasizing self-empowerment, confidence, and empathy along with styling tips and home makeovers. Karamo used his vague “culture and lifestyle” assignment to deliver some really thoughtful therapy sessions, Tan invented a whole new way to wear shirts, Jonathan established himself as an instant icon, Antoni put avocado on stuff, and Bobby did five times as much work as everyone else while getting barely any credit for it. Whether we were bonding over tear-jerking transformations or mocking Antoni’s complete inability to cook, Queer Eye was the rare cultural unifier based on something lovely and uplifting, rather than dark and depressing. I’m guessing we’re still going to need that in 2019, so it’s a good thing the show has a third season on the way. Until then, I’ll just be rewatching A.J.’s episode on a loop.

Lisa Weidenfeld

I watched and loved a lot of TV this year, but it’s possible Wynonna Earp is the show I looked forward to the most, and also the one I wish I was seeing on more best-of lists this December. It’s a Western, a procedural, a Buffy descendant, a horror comedy, and probably a few other things as well. But mostly it’s fun. Its wildly entertaining third season was the strongest yet, and featured a potato-licking mystery, a Christmas tree topper made out of tampons, and one of TV’s sweetest ongoing romances—the usual stuff of great drama. The show’s mythology keeps expanding into an ever larger battle between forces far more powerful than its scrappy team of heroes, but it’s the writing and character work that make the show shine. Wynonna may be tough and merciless in her pursuit of victory, but it’s her sense of humor that keeps her human and compelling, and the bond between her and sister Waverly has provided a grounding emotional force on a show with an increasingly complex central plot. There just aren’t enough shows on TV that would work a Plan B joke into their heist sequence.

Vikram Murthi

Even correcting for James Franco’s involvement, which might put people off for legitimate reasons, it blows me away that The Deuce didn’t crack AVC’s main list. David Simon and George Pelecanos’ bird’s-eye view of the inception and proliferation of the sex industry in the United States represents some of the most mature, compelling television of the year. Simon’s detail-oriented, process-focused approach comes alive when examining a side of American culture that functions as a metaphor for everything: gentrification, the rise of cultural conservatism, urban renewal, late capitalism, and, most potently, the filmmaking process. This season, Simon and Pelecanos pushed their subjects toward broader freedoms that quickly revealed themselves to be traps in disguise. Not only does all social progress come with a price, but also it’s limited to those pre-approved by those controlling the purse strings. Yet, Simon and Pelecanos never forget that the tapestry of human experience is neither exclusively tragic nor comprehensively optimistic. Some people discover happiness, and others lose their way. Rising and falling in America has always been a permanent state because social environments and political context circumscribe life-or-death choices. It’s been a decade since The Wire ended, but its worldview lives on through Simon’s successive work: everything’s connected, follow the money, and bad institutions fail good people every damn day.

Danette Chavez

Although the show’s title addresses a certain demographic, Dear White People has so much to say beyond calling out the oblivious and privileged. Yes, Justin Simien’s adaptation of his 2014 film of the same name wears its politics on its sleeve, but they’re right next to its heart. The show is much more a winning coming-of-age dramedy than it is a polemic, and even then, it’s still miles ahead of most college-set series in both style and substance. Simien’s created his own visual language to capture both the intimacy of the relationships among the core cast, as well as the microscope they’re under as black students at an Ivy League school. And I really cannot say enough about the dialogue, which crackles and informs. Season one had such a moving coming-out storyline, made all the more so by DeRon Horton’s vulnerable performance; the new season follows Lionel’s adventures in dating and dorm sex, with hilarious and poignant results. Really, the whole cast should be commended, from Logan Browning, who provides a wonderfully complex center as Sam, to Antoinette Robertson, who may have given the series’ best performance in season two’s “Chapter IV.” Dear White People still makes a point of punching up—at racist and sexist institutions, tangible and otherwise—but many of its most extraordinary moments have come from characters like Sam, Gabe (John Patrick Amedori), and Reggie (Marque Richardson) recognizing their personal foibles. Thankfully, Netflix has already renewed Dear White People for a third season, giving you all a chance to get it together.

Gwen Ihnat

The odd Amazon sitcom Forever had a lot to say about the monotony of monogamy and marriage: Can you really stay with someone happily for the rest of your life? (Or afterlife, as the case may be.) With anyone but Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph cast as that main couple, Forever might have slowly slid into bland drudgery. But the two gifted comic actors injected a lot of life into the monogamy question, aided by a spirited supporting cast including Catherine Keener, Julia Ormond, and Noah Robbins. Sure, there are some days when you want to talk to anyone but that person sitting across from you at the breakfast table. But who else would discuss with you, ad nauseam, banal topics like the perfect way to spend a half-hour, or the best way to sit in a chair? The standalone episode “Andre And Sarah” makes achingly clear how much finding (or not finding) that person who makes you shine steers the path your life will eventually take, all in a mere 35 minutes.

Allison Shoemaker

While I’d love to praise one of the many things that aired this year that I’m sure to revisit in future—someone else is going to mention Wanderlust, Salt Fat Acid Heat, and the dazzling Jesus Christ Superstar Live In Concert, right?—I feel compelled to bring up a program I’m almost certain I’ll never watch again. It’s unlikely that when HBO snapped up The Tale at Sundance this year, the network was thinking of the benefits of the pause button. Yet it’s a benefit all the same. The debut narrative feature from documentarian Jennifer Fox follows a fictionalized version of the director (played by Laura Dern) as she re-examines a traumatic childhood experience she’d filed away in her mind as loving and consensual, managing to be both gentle and almost unbearably upsetting all at once. Dern’s simple, seemingly relaxed performance belies the nightmare which fuels it, and that pause button may prove invaluable to some—it certainly was for me. The Tale is a film which seems to demand that you witness, rather than merely watch it. Should you need to walk away for a minute, it’ll keep.

Noel Murray

I know, I know: At least once or twice a year someone tells you about some cool animated series you should be watching, and talks about how trippy and ambitious and strangely deep it is. But guys, trust me: You need to catch up on Cartoon Network’s Summer Camp Island. Only half of season one has aired so far (20 10-minute episodes, mostly non-serialized), with the rest of the first batch reportedly set to debut before the end of the year. It’s a show parents can watch with grade-school-aged kids or on their own—a treat for animation buffs, and for anyone who enjoys a the kind of surrealism that’s more adorable than upsetting. With its snooty teen witches, dorky monsters, and never-ending parade of anthropomorphic clothes, toys, plants, and foodstuffs, Summer Camp Island is like a weird old Disney cartoon crossed with an ’80s teensploitation picture. And it is glorious.

A.A. Dowd

Mike Flanagan is a Stephen King guy. You could guess that from his adaptation of Gerald’s Game and from the news that he’s doing King’s Shining sequel Doctor Sleep next. Or you could just watch his work and marvel at how plainly influenced it is by the author’s, at how well it captures that signature King touch—the division of perspective among multiple characters, the interest in history and trauma, the graceful juggling of timelines. There’s much more King than Shirley Jackson in Flanagan Netflix take on The Haunting Of Hill House. The miniseries didn’t scare me as much as it seemed to scare a lot of my friends and colleagues—while well-executed, its jolts were mostly of the familiar James Wan spirits-slithering-up-walls variety. But I loved the intricacy of the storytelling, the way Flanagan moved fluidly from the childhood scenes to the adulthood ones and back again, mapping the entwined lives of these damaged siblings to suggest the way that our past and present remain in constant conversation. (It’s memories, of course, that are really haunting the Crain family.) In the end, I found Haunting Of Hill House a better, more spiritually faithful adaptation of It than the real one from last year. Guess that makes me a Mike Flanagan guy.

Erik Adams

The contents of The Big List demonstrate that it’s a great time for television comedy of all stripes: Animated, musical, workplace, detail-oriented genre parody, surrealist examination of the agony and ecstasy of existence. And while I would’ve liked to have seen some notice for the humble charms of NBC’s Superstore or a nod to that episode of Joe Pera Talks With You where Joe hears “Baba O’Riley” for the first time, I’m surprised that we didn’t heap more praise on another Michigan-set cable show co-starring Conner O’Malley. Like Myles with Survivor, I’m willing to accept that I’m part of the problem: Detroiters didn’t make my ballot’s final cut, despite all the hearty laughs, shoddily produced TV commercials, and General Getdown dance routines (“He’s a general—he’s the best”) the Comedy Central series gave me this year. Sam Richardson and Tim Robinson’s love letter to their shared hometown will always be powered by the stars’ explosively silly onscreen connection, but season two did some stellar work at fleshing out their characters as individuals, whether it was Sam reuniting with an ex to record a sultry grocery-store jingle or Tim (loudly) grappling with the family legacy of Cramblin Duvet Advertising. If nothing else, these episodes proved that when it comes to comedic news anchors, sometimes the inspiration for Ron Burgundy outstrips the legend himself.

Source: https://tv.avclub.com/what-s-missing-from-our-list-of-2018-s-best-tv-1830979080