#archie andrews one shot

[andsmile]

can't fight the moonlight

He can see Veronica, who’s in the background, but also who’s the center of everything. The center of it all.

or,

a 5x13 little smut shot based on that one gifset. you know which one.

(read on AO3)

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From Archie Horror One-Shot: Fear the Funhouse (2022).

[sm-tlov-r]

Smut one shot requests (I write them on Wattpad & here but you can only request on here, my Wattpad user is sm_twrit_r) I only do male smut sorry

Baby:

-damiano younes

-niccolo govender

- Brando de sanctis

-fiore fiorenzi

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Harry potter + fancast:

-theodore nott

-mattheo ridde

-tom riddle

-lorenzo berkshire

-regulus black

-blaise zabini

-cedric diggory

-harry potter

-ron weasley

-fred weasley

-george weasley

-draco malfoy

-professor snape

-professor lupin

- James potter (fancast)

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Outer banks:

- JJ maybank

- john b

- poper heyward

- rafe cameron

- topper Thornton

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The vampire diaries:

-damon salvatore

-stefan salvatore

- Enzo st john

-jeremy gilbert

-tyler lockwood

- alaric saltzman

-klaus mikealson

- elijah mikealson

-kol mikealson

- kai parker

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The walking dead:

-daryl dixon

-rick grimes

-carl grimes

-negan smith

-glenn rhee

-ezekiel sutton

-jesus (Paul) monroe

-abraham ford

-alden

-merle dixon

-dwight

-shane welsh

-micheal mercer

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Stranger things:

-steve harrington

-eddie munson

-billy hargrove

-jonathan byers

-dimitri

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Riverdale:

-jughead jones

- archie andrews

- f.p jones

-sweetpea

-fangs fogarty

-reggie mantle

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Shameless:

-ian gallagher

-lip gallagher

-carl gallagher

-mickey milkovich

-kevin ball

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Grey's anatomy:

-derek shepherd

-alex karev

-jackson avery

-mark sloan

-george o malley

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Random:

- Jake webber

- johnnie guilbert

- Colby brock

- Sam golbach

- Vinnie hacker

- ghost (cod)

- ghostface

-dominic fike

-javon walton

-jaden walton

-matt sturniolo

-chris sturniolo

-dean winchester

-samwinchester

-percy jackson(og)

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The rookie:

-tim bradford

-john nolan

-wesley evers

-aaron thorsen

-henry nolan

----------------------------------------------- if there's any kinks, tropes or setting you want in lmk in comments or lmk in messages

MY WATTPAD IS DOWN RIGHT NOW!!

[arewordsenough]

Rated Explicit - One Shot k) - M/M - Explicit Sexual Content

Summary: Archie earns a new role with Southside Serpents.

Featured groups & pairings: Archie Andrews/Fangs Fogarty/Jughead Jones

Key Tags: Cum Dump, Archie Andrews is a Slut, affectionate

[supercap2319]

The Ginger Serpent

A/N: Archie's a serpent in this one shot.

They were watching Rebel Without a Cause at the Twilight Drive-In. It was the Drive-In’s closing night and almost everyone in town showed up as Y/N, his sister, and Kevin were sitting in the back of Kevin’s truck bed. Blankets all around and some to cover them as they watched, with Cheryl inviting herself in their little group as they watched James Dean on screen.

“That hair.” Kevin smiles.

“That jacket.” Y/N said in between bites of popcorn.

“Jason always adored the Drive-In.” Cheryl said. Kevin looks at Veronica and rolls his eyes. Behind them, the Southside Serpents were laughing and making a ruckus as Kevin snickers as he elbowed Y/N to get his attention to look at them. “Southside trash.”

“They’ve been doing that since the opening credits.” Veronica said.

Kevin turned his head towards them. “Shh!” They all shush hun back and throw cans at him that never reach. They’re still rowdy as Kevin looks at Y/N in defeat. They wouldn’t be quiet. Y/N’s had enough as he stands up and looks at the Serpents, locking eyes with a very good-looking ginger guy. “Hey! You know what happens to a snake when a heavy black boot steps on it? Shut the hell up, or you’ll find out the hard way.”

All around the Drive-In, the people applauded Y/N for finally saying what they were all thinking. Y/N bows like a gentleman. “Thank you.” He sits back down as the ginger eyes him as he smirks. Kevin looks at Y/N in disbelief. “I cannot believe you just threatened a gang-banger.”

“I’ve dealt with worse in the east village. I just hate when people disrespect my cinematic experience. Especially this one. It’s one of my favorites.” Y/N said.

It’s quiet until Veronica shakes the bucket of popcorn. “How about a refill, Hermanito?”

“Yeah, Y/N, how about a refill?” Cheryl smiles sweetly. “Cherry cola, as always.” He rolls his eyes as he gets off the truck bed as everyone scoots over one spot.

Y/N walks up to the concession stand and waits for his turn as he sets the bucket on the counter. “Can I get a refill?” The guy nods his head and takes the bucket as Y/N waits for him to come back. “And some gummy bears and a cherry cola and a regular one. Who am I trying to impress?” The guy gets all the things he’s asked for. “And can you put all this on Cheryl Blossom’s tab?” He nods his head as Y/N scoops up his treats and is about to walk away, when he almost runs into the ginger guy from the Serpents.

“Not so tough now, huh?” He asked Y/N. He’s about 5’11 with red hair and gorgeous brown eyes. He wore blue jeans and a red leather jacket to match his hair. He had a menacing and playful atmosphere around him. Y/N swallowed. “What? Am I supposed to be scared of you or something?”

“You do know what a Southside Serpent is, right?”

“And? You guys are like the watered-down versions of the Outsiders.” Y/N told him. “Now, may I go through, or are we going to have problems?” He tried to push past the taller male boy, but he grabbed his arm. “I have a better idea.” He basically dragged Y/N behind the concession stand towards the fence as he helped Y/N set his stuff down before he glared at Y/N. “You sure gotta smart mouth on ya, don’t ya?” He pushed him against the fence as Y/N looked at him.

“Yeah? And just what are you going to do about it?” Y/N asked him.

The ginger smirked before he leaned down and captured his lips into a kiss as Y/N was shocked as he let the redhead push him against the fence. They were grunting and panting as the taller male slammed Y/N gently against the metal of the fence. Y/N tangled his fingers inside the ginger’s head and messed it up as a small revenge as they broke apart for air. “I should go.”

“Something tells me you don’t want to, do you?” The redhead grins.

“I guess not.” Y/N told him.

“I’m Archie, by the way. Archie Andrews.”

“Y/N Lodge.”

“Lodge? Like Hiram Lodge?” Archie asked.

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

“No. Is this a problem?” He showed him his tattoo of a serpent.

“I won’t tell if you won’t?”

“Deal.”

They kissed again.

[rythmicjea]

Archie's Dream 5x04

Should I be finishing up my chapter for Narwals? Yes. Am I? No. Instead, I can't get Archie's dream out of my head. Season 5 is considered to be "the worst" season. That's because the majority of people don't understand it. There are so many layers to this season. It's like a 14 hour long episode of the X-Files. If you take episodes 1-3 to really be the end of season 4 (and we all should) it's the shortest season out of all of them.

The show needed to get everyone back together in Riverdale. That's how shows like this work. The impetus is Archie's dream. On the surface it's a warning that Riverdale is in trouble. The soul of Riverdale is on the verge of collapse. And yes, that is true. Get closer though, and you start to see the shadows underneath.

The dream opens in the boys locker room of Riverdale High. Archie Andrews is giving his team a pep talk before the game. His voice is darker, deeper, it's that of a drill sergeant. He prepares them saying it's not going to be easy. That they have never faced anything like it but they cannot be afraid. He barks, "Do you know why?" And they answer "Because we're Bulldogs!"

The camera lingers on Reggie. Why Reggie? Here's the thing most people don't recognize about Mantle the Magnificent. He may not like you, but if you go to Riverdale, you're a Bulldog. And he will defend any Bulldog for any reason. That's why he's so offended and incensed that Jughead wears his Serpent's jacket. Because to him, Jughead is spitting in Riverdale's face. Jughead is one of Riverdale's sons and that should mean more.

We see the General tell them that their mission is to save their fallen brother. The next shot is of a football field as No Man's Land (the stretch of land between two trenches in war). There are football players in the background running plays. There are bombs going off and artillery fire whizzing by. I am an avid football fan. I grew up on Ohio State football. A football game is often referred to as a "battle". You'll hear phrases like "Battle on the Grid Iron". Each game is life or death for the players and the fans. But this is more than just a football game. This is actual life or death.

Reggie goes down. Shot in the chest from enemy fire. This is representative of how Reggie is on the "wrong" side in the season. He's aligned himself with Hiram. He doesn't care for the town and the school that he once loved so deeply.

Archie is then flown into the air by a bomb. He doesn't want to go further. He doesn't think he can. You would think that he would look at his target. Instead, he sees Cheryl. She's in her Vixens uniform. And while you can hear the squad cheering, Cheryl isn't speaking. She smiles at him, with tears in her eyes, nodding at him to go forward. Why is she here? They weren't particularly close. Why would she care about his mission? Because Cheryl has lost a brother. She knows that pain of not being able to help and the guilt that comes with surviving. She can't let Archie go through that.

Then we see the fallen soldier. We don't know his identity until Archie gets to him. It's Jughead. A chest wound pouring out blood. His heart was broken by his first love and his best friend. Jughead only says one line and it is "I just need a little help". We come to learn in the season that Jughead has become an alcoholic. His line is one that many addicts say. It's so simple to believe that with just a little help they can overcome their affliction. A lot of times it's said to get a fix. Just a tiny one to help get through the withdrawal.

On the sidelines is everyone who loves Jughead. The Serpents, Betty, Veronica, and Pop. They're all cheering for Archie to do what needs to be done. And at the last moment we see Hiram standing with a gun pointed at Archie. In the first four seasons it was always about Archie vs Hiram. But everyone forgets that the actual thorn in Hiram's side was Jughead. It's Jughead that exposes him. It's Jughead that picks up the pieces of his parental duties for Veronica. It's Jughead who is willing to risk everything to see Hiram exposed for all of his corruption and evil deeds. And Hiram knows it. But Hiram can't do anything to Jughead without exposing himself. That's why he willingly lets Jughead take himself to the slaughter against the ghoulies. Hiram was behind riot night. And that gunshot wound in Jughead's chest? Who's to say it wasn't Hiram who pulled the trigger?

Archie's dream tells the story of season 5. There's many reasons for him to come home. He declares that Riverdale is "dying" and they need to save it. But it's not Riverdale that he has to save, it's Jughead. He hasn't spoken to Jughead in seven years. When he calls his three friends, Betty and Veronica drop what they are doing immediately to answer. Jughead is the only one who hesitates. We never see him answer. Jughead is the most reluctant to stay.

NO ONE on the show knows how to handle an addiction. Not even Jughead. He knows how to take care of his father but it was never his responsibility to save his father. And FP? FP gets sober cold turkey. He falls off the wagon at his retirement party. He is magically able to handle alcohol responsibly. That's not how addiction works.

Archie offers Jughead a place to stay and a teaching position at the school. Archie lets him go when he needs to go back to New York without any questions asked. Archie is the subliminal support system that was taken from Jughead at the end of high school. He doesn't know what to do exactly (and he has his own issues - PTSD) but he can do the passive things to help his brother.

After seven years of silence, Archie has a dream that tells him his best friend and brother is in danger and he's the only one who can help. And if that's being an invitation back to a safe place and a warm bed then he does it without hesitation. To many Archie IS Riverdale. He is the heart of the town. But, Jughead put Riverdale on the map. Jughead is the town's conscience. To Archie, Jughead is Riverdale.

[random-imagines-blog]

Imagine being Archie Andrews brother and casually admitting to Hiram Lodge that you like watching him work out at the gym.

You wiped the sweat off of your forehead while continuing to work on the bike, pedals rotating with high tension. The bike wasn’t your favorite bit of equipment in this gym, it did afford you the best view of Hiram Lodge.

The older man was definitely the most fit person inside of this gym. Your brother was here, working on the weights, putting in the long hours to be the best football player that Riverdale had ever seen, but that wasn’t the kind of strength that Hiram had. No, Hiram had a real man’s sort of strength, the kind that came from years of fine-tuning, of real work, not just a set of weights.

“Shit,” You muttered, realizing that you weren’t able to concentrate like this. Hiram was just making you feel too damn hot, you might actually overheat on this thing.

He was just over there - doing push ups, watching himself in the mirror. Watching his own figure as he moved up and down with ease in a way that a military cadet could only dream of.

Slowing your roll to a stop, you patted your forehead with the towel around your neck and decided fuck it, you were just going to get closer. Try to see the muscle strain, if there was any, to help fuel your fantasies later that night. As casually as you could muster, you walked in that direction and pretended to be looking at one of the machines.

“Mr. Andrews,” Hiram said, launching up into a burmpee, jumping from the ground as the final exercise of his routine. You’d seen it end often enough.

“Mr. Lodge,” You greeted in return with a nod and a smile. Though your brother had problems with the Lodge, you avoided all of those issues, figuring you were too old to get messed up in all of that teenage dating petty bullshit. No, your smile yowards Hiram was a hundred percent real, as was the way that your eyes wandered down his shirtless body to the gym shorts and then back up.

“Thinking of using the chest press?” Hiram asked, picking up his water bottle and taking a drink. Oh, to be the droplets that were dripping from his lips. You never felt so thirsty.

“Hmm?” You questioned, nd then realized that’s what you were pretending to look at. “No, no, mostly just came around to watch you,” You admitted, feeling bold. He didn’t look surprised at your admission. He looked like he had been expecting it. Had you really been so obvious? That wasn’t really a question worth asking at this point.

“I see,” He said, offering you his water bottle. You took it, pleased to be able to drink from the same place that he had. “You should come to my private gym sometime. The equipment is better. And there’s a lot more mirrors. You can watch every angle.”

“Maybe I will,” You shot back, quickly, not missing the chance. “Why do you come out here if you have a private gym?”

“I like to watch too.”

Requested by: Anonymous

[rustedpipe]

went out one night to make a little round, i met little sadie and i shot her down!

archie andrews aka rivervale's big bad + little sadie (crooked still version)

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale s7 e1

There is a lot of commentary about whether the show is bad or good, and among those who hold that it's bad, a debate about whether said badness is intentional (It's camp! It's satire! It's  commentary on culture and/or our times!) or brought about from a lack of talent or planning by the producers, writers and/or actors.

What I say is this - I love the care with which Riverdale is made.  Starting with the S7 opening sequence!!

Archie’s painted hot rod is shown, then as the song plays Archie spins into view, his face framed in a little circle. He's doing something with his eyebrows. His smile is just a little off. Not a LOT off. Just off.  Immediately after that we see him press a kiss to Mary Andrews' cheek. We know it's all wrong because Mary Andrews is wary of the violence of this son that she regrets mothering and can't wait to get rid of.  They are not this affectionate.

Next up is Betty Cooper, short hair in the cutest ringlets, smiling sweetly, looking wholesome.  Betty Cooper found the pressure to be sweetly wholesome unbearably suffocating all six seasons of this show.  Immediately after her is Veronica with the most spectacular bangs,  looking pretty and hard and insincere.  These are things that Veronica hates to be thought of as.  

Then comes Cheryl, severely annoyed to be there, giving an evil eyed false smile.  Assuming arguendo that this is Jughead as world-maker as well as narrator, the fact that Cheryl gets to have a do-over of her intro in the montage, a doubling-up if you will, is noteworthy.  Everyone else gets the one shot in the juke box, but Cheryl gets a twofer, wearing the Lolita-Grundy sunglasses and pouting over the door of a great looking convertible. Kevin, looking gormless is up next and it makes me feel worried. Toni Topaz is looking ultra heterosexual with her long ponytail up-do. She winks at the  audience.  This is not edgy Serpent Queen Toni at all. But she and Veronica both look spectacular with bangs.  Tabitha in white cats’ eye glasses and white gloves, blows a kiss to the audience, looking sheltered and innocent when we all know she's a weirdo and not above cosplaying a truck stop hooker to catch a killer.  

The only person who looks like "himself" is Jughead, who comes last.  Worried, frantic, concerned and unhappy - basically, fail-adult Jughead without Tabitha.  Poor Jughead.

The year, he says, is 1955 and apparently people didn't mind when couples executed complicated dances involving swirling skirts inside a diner where people are trying to eat.  Jughead is narrating as he clatters away on a huge typewriter at the Diner.  Apparently the patrons don't mind that either. Does he keep it there?  Did he commandeer the one in the office?? Does he haul it around??

As Jughead narrates, speculating about where he is - Not sure if he's in the past or the past of an alternate universe -  he speaks faster and more frantically, sounding more and more like Bunker Jughead of Rivervale.  He tries to sound unhappy about living in a railcar with Hot Dog (". . . which actually tracks" sighhhh) but we all know he's relieved he's not homeless and couch surfing. Having a dog and a residence of his own is more stability than he's had since graduating high school and before Jabitha began cohabitation.

They're all juniors in high school again!  Betty and Kevin holding hands down the hallway, Betty in excellent patterned pants with eyes only for Kevin who won't look at her.  Jughead looks at the two of them with an expression of suppressing in indigestion burp but neither notice him.  Jughead is worried for Betty, all the time, nonstop, in every universe.  Plus Bughead were the horniest little fuckers in any high school on American television ever, and so the fact of Betty dating a gay man worries Jughead.  He doesn’t want to have sex with her anymore, yet Jughead wants Betty to have good things.  And Jughead has never liked Kevin much, but he’s worried for Kevin too. Betty wasn’t and isn’t a girl who takes not getting her way with grace.

Cheryl still has a twin brother, but she is completely not at all in love with this one.  The face she makes is not of a girl dominating the halls of her high school with her soulmate.  Jughead feels very similar about this iteration of a Boy Blossom, noting first and foremost that this kiddo is Cheryl’s twin, then second that he is not Jason, before introducing us to his actual name: Julian.

Julian like the possessed doll, the chimera twin that got eaten by Cheryl in the womb, etc, that Julian. Who actually knew this Julian name, other than Toni?  

Jughead’s thoughts turn directly from Cheryl to Not-Jason to Reggie then on to Archie.  This is the first of several pings back to earlier seasons, which I am sure I’m not going to be able to catch in a perfect way.  But!  Reggie and Jason were constantly in each other’s company in Jughead’s hallucinatory reminiscences of Jason during S1, even though Reggie barely ever mentioned Jason, and Cheryl has never been shown actually discussing Jason with either Reggie 1.0 or 2.0.

The key thing that Jughead notices about Archie is his body, in the same way the key thing he notices about Julian is that he is not Jason.  Archie being wholesome enough to kiss his mom on the cheek goodbye every morning being into body building in 1955 is very progressive (and gay) of him, isn’t it?  That sort of muscular build was still sort of a niche thing, I thought.

Jughead has been frowning at all these people for quite a while, long enough to confirm that they have no recollection of their S6 selves.  He hasn’t seen Tabitha, who he helpfully explains is chronokinetic and the town’s literal guardian angel AND his girlfriend.

Just in time, Pop Tate announces that the bus from Mississippi has arrived.  Tabitha, looking very sad, is accompanied by Toni, equally sad, and a third person, who I assumed was Chuck even though the actor has changed because that wouldn’t be Munroe.  Sadness from having to witness an act of racial injustice and hatred makes people move in slow motion into the Diner.

Jughead watches Tabitha slowly walk past him before he calls her name.  The way he says “Tabitha” is so cautious, because she might reject any conversation with the guy wearing a bulky sweater with the S stamped on it AND a felt crown making very loud tappity tap noises at her grandfather’s diner, and hopeful, because maybe they’re friends, and maybe hearing Jughead will make this Tabitha remember season 6.  The guarded, questioning response he gets from her makes Jughead change tack fast, to discuss the Emmett Till hearing verdict as something he heard “on the radio.”   When Jughead says the verdict made him “sick to my stomach” Tabitha frowns slightly, wary of where he might go with this, perhaps.   Tabitha saying that she and her friends are trying to figure out what they should do next, Jughead isn’t even breathing.  He’s watching her so hard, so hopeful that Tabitha will give him some hint that she knows this is the wrong universe, and so worried she might not.

When she asks him to confirm that his name is Jughead in a way that indicates they aren’t even friends in this universe, Jughead is so hurt that his drops out of his careful, speak-in-full-sentences 1950s speech, and stutters.  His eyes get much, much sadder, right before he says it’s overwhelming and heartbreaking.  He looks like he might cry.   Poor Jughead.  

The cruelty of his fate is astounding.  He was a kid who was left behind and rejected by his mother, let to live homeless by his father, rejected by Fred Andrews, routinely forgotten by his girlfriend during what he thought of as their shared childhood memories, and now, the singularly stable adult friendship and relationship of his life is like it never existed.  Jughead Jones is someone who hasn’t ever been without a girlfriend, it seems since starting one with Betty Cooper, but now when he needs a relationship the most, Tabitha literally doesn’t know him.

Simply because Tabitha Tate doesn’t know him, Jughead hates everything about the 1950s. (Whoever said the 1950s was the greatest decade should have their head examined, he deadpans.)

Archie is trying to skip out of the house when Mary calls to him.  Archie grimaces so hard at his mother’s summons that I can see it through the back of his head.  This did give me a small twinge of hope that maybe he does remember S1-6, and that Archie is putting on this wholesome teenager act, same as Jughead, until he can figure out what’s going on.  He puts on an evidently false face of doe-eyed innocence when he gets it together to go talk to his mother. He’s literally never made that face before in the past six years.

Mary Andrews is very upset about the photos of James Dean’s car accident in the papers, so she confiscates the keys to Archie’s “hotrod” with “fire painted on its sides.” Archie tries to talk his way out of this but fails.  He longingly looks at his “barely above a jalopy” vehicle before turning to face the reality of having to take a very old looking bicycle to school.

Archie has never been this cute to me. His little face!   Then he’s peddling uphill, getting honked at, and so mad .  Just, adorable.  I wanna give him a cookie.   He gets to school just in time.

Meanwhile, Betty in her very excellent 1950s pants is sitting with Toni in the Blue and Gold room.  Her sweater says Betty on it in a curly font.  With her short blonde curls framing her sweet face Betty looks picture perfect. She and Toni both have such enormous eyes that I keep getting distracted from the serious topic they are discussing - how to get past the school censors to properly cover the Emmett Till travesty.  When Betty says she will throw her weight behind getting the story told, Toni smiles at her in a small cheek scrunching way that she’s never done before.  She looks amazing, by the way - the bangs, the big hoop earrings, the scarf /headband thing in her hair, the Southside Serpent Jeans jacket.

Cut to a class where a 1950s tv announcer voice is explaining what a mill is (a souped up hot rod or jalopy) in a film the class are watching  when the principal (Warden Norton repurposed as Principal Featherhead!) bursts in to make an announcement.  Archie is wearing an R sweater, with Jughead in the S sweater seated nearby.

What do these mean??

Veronica make an iconic entrance, complete with heralding blues horns.  Yellow heels, yellow belt, black dress with white polka dots, black purse,  sunglasses, big black sunhat trimmed with the same fabric as her dress, and red lips.  Lace gloves with little black polka dots.

OMG SHE LOOKS SO HOT.

I want this whole thing.  I make a vow to only wear yellow heels with black dresses.

Archie, getting his first look, drops his pencil.  (Kevin, right behind him, has no reaction whatsoever.)  Jughead, Tabitha-less, looks constipated as he notes:  “Damn.”

Girl, that’s what I said!

With everyone else in some sort of sweater or jacket, buttoned up to the neck, Veronica’s plunging neckline and sleeveless dress makes her look practically naked.   She’s a Hollywood scion - Hermione and Hiram have “Amercia’s number one rated television program,” and of course they’re going to call it, Oh Mija!

I LOVED this in-joke, because it functions as a tribute to Hiram.  Mija was the word he said the most, after, maybe, Archie.

For some reason, this whole situation - Veronica’s appearance, introduction, presence and existence- piss Cheryl off entirely.  She is huffing, rolling her eyes, and generally extremely antsy.

Seated right behind her, Archie is just in heaven. Veronica is being very alternative-universe here: her self introduction is very pompous.  Real Veronica Lodge actually hates pomposity.  Her vocabulary is still very Jughead-huge though (“opportune” and “raven haired.”)  Veronica says that she’s trying a method acting type of thing (de rigueur for the age perhaps - another thing she might actually say) of experiencing small town life so she can better portray the “innocent ingenue” in the upcoming production of “Our Town.”

Longtime viewers are meant to know that she is lying about staying with an aunt-and-uncle, mostly because these people have never been introduced in the past six seasons.  As far as we’ve ever been told about Hiram in the competing lores of his life, he doesn’t have siblings. We have almost no lore about Hermione, other than FP hit on her almost once in high school and she had the affair with Fred Andrews as an adult.

Both Cheryl and Betty do not like that Veronica called them “small town lifers” basically.   Archie is entirely entranced with her, laughing at every little joke that Veronica makes, and even Cheryl pointedly turning in her seat to glare at him can’t make his besotted grin falter even a little bit.  

Veronica purrs and preens when she calls herself “the scion of Tinseltown royalty.”  I’m surprised she doesn’t roll her Rs.  When she winsomely says Thank You, Archie, whose face has been lit up like a christmas tree this whole time, bursts into solitary applause.   Cheryl is still very mad, but Archie gets rewarded with an extremely sexy wink by Veronica for being such an immediate fan.  

Is that a blush I see on Archie’s face?

I love this Archie. He’s so cute.

The table that Veronica chooses to try to join is Cheryl, Betty,  Kevin, Julian and Archie.  This is a weird fricking cluster of people.  Cheryl and Betty? And what the heck would Kevin and Julian have in common?   When Veronica asks to sit, Cheryl wants to say no but she is betrayed by both of the other redheads, who clear the space immediately.  Veronica comes to perch gracefully between the two redhead boys.  

Veronica says she caught all their names in the class they were just in.  Of course, Betty having BETTY embroidered into her sweater probably helps with that too.   Remembering that the R wearing Archie is Archie might be more of a feat.   Veronica shows that she took Cheryl’s eye rolls to heart by pointedly asking Cheryl what her name was.  Cheryl is extremely displeased, yet again.   This seems to know exactly what just happened between Veronica and Cheryl- he is trying very hard not to laugh too much.

Cheryl tries to explain that that they’d been discussing James Dean’s death, very self-importantly adding that she is president of his fanclub, when she gets undermined by Julian, who interrupts with a very weak joke about the Oh Mija! show being “high-larious,” to Veronica.   He says that the Blossoms “tune in every week” which must be a lie, because Cheryl’s whole face sours.  Betty and Kevin seem like they’re on the same wavelength.  They project the same calm, almost bovine energy when they ask Veronica where she lived in LA (BelAir) and if she knew James Dean.

Cheryl sharply tells Kevin off for being “so provincial,” then goes off to sideways disparage Veronica by implying that she wasn’t important enough to be a friend of James Dean, a person who was friends with Elizabethe Taylor.   Turns out Veronica Lodge was ‘friendly’ with Jimmy, “friendly” enough to go skinny dipping together at the Chateau Marmaduke (standing in for Chateau Marmont).  

This makes Archie choke.  Literally.  He focuses on “skinny dipping” -Veronica! Naked! She does Naked things! - while Betty and Kevin (Bevin? Ketty??) are entranced about being that friendly with James Dean.  Julian is more in Archie’s camp - he wants to know if Veronica has done the naked thing once or more than once.  I so appreciate the asshole energy that Julian projects nonstop.  He reminds me a lot of Bret Weston Wallis that way. You know on sight that he’s a dickhead, which is 180 degrees different from the angelic way that Jughead used to hallucinate Jason.

When Cheryl plays with her hair to sarcastically ask if Veronica will claim that she had dated Jimmy Dean, Veronica says no, but then drops a bombshell.  James Dean “played both sides of the net.”  In case the small town rubes don’t get her meaning, Veronica clarifies that this means both girls and boys.  Kevin has a milder version of Archie’s choking reaction from seconds before at this thought.  He’s smiling, and Betty is frowning.  Oh?  Oh???

When Kevin wants Veronica to name what James Dean was, Archie interrupts. This made me wonder if there  was a 1950s term for bisexual, that everyone would’ve known, that you can say on a CW show in 2023?    I guess not because Kevin never gets to finish his question.

Archie has a confused reaction, which fits canon so far and why Jarchie hasn’t happened yet even though it should.  He finds the concept of regular guys who are almost cowboys (all American? Is that what he means to say?) being anything other than 100% proof heterosexual incomprehensible.  Cheryl reacts with homophobic anger - it’s besmirchment, it’s foul, to say Jimmy Dean was not straight.   When Veronica calls her provincial, Cheryl slut shames her.  Nobody cares that Cheryl has flounced off, so now Kevin wants to know about Sal Mineo.

Kevin is definitely not straight in this universe.  Veronica knows it, apparently immediately. Poor Betty.

In science class later that day we see ETHEL is Jughead’s lab desk partner. Jughead is miserable to be back in high school.  He has an Asian American science teacher, who wears nerdy round glasses and has a bit of a lisp.  The teacher says Bailey Comet is due to arrive in two years.   He sounds vaguely Singporean, his teacher.  

Cut to Cheryl screaming GUYS as she floats in the air, trying to ice the comet.

Cut to the end of school, where Archie winsomely offers Veronica an escort home.  He has no ride, however, and Veronica isn’t the type of girl to walk. (She also just can’t, not in those high heels.)  Julian has offered Veronica a ride, ditching his sister wholesale.  JASON WOULD NEVER. Archie and Cheryl can’t bear to look at each other in the face of this rejection they’ve suffered.

In the waning light, Betty and Veronica are trying to talk to two old white men.  Dupont from Stonewall is here in Riverdale now as Werther a ‘child psychiatrist’ who fully backs Warden, I mean Principal, Featherhead that the Emmett Till murder and trial are not suitable subject matter for the school paper.

Toni tries to advocate for publication by saying that people need to know what happened “so that it doesn’t happen again.”  That is so adorable and incorrect.  Knowing something terrible happened again does not in any way ensure that it doesn’t keep happening.  I think the better way to think about it is, We owe it to the wronged to mark their stories.  Featherhead shoots her down by saying that “these sorts of things don’t happen in Riverdale.”  He also says a wrong thing - that “change doesn’t happen overnight.” Actually all change happens overnight.  That’s where there’s always a backlash to any progress, because those who can’t keep up want to turn it back. A lot of the time, they succeed.  In any case, Featherstone patronizes Toni by telling her take satisfaction in how ‘well written’ in article is.

Later, at family dinner in which Polly and Charles don’t exist, Betty tries to push her parents into reading Toni’s article on the air at their nightly broadcast on RIVW.  15 minutes is what they get, of which Toni’s article would take a whole minute.   Hal’s 50s persona is very hilarious.  He looks extremely shifty and chipunky, reminding me quite a lot of Peter Pettigrew of all things.  Alice has absolutely killer eyebrows, sharp enough to slice your face open.   They both repeat Featherstone’s line about the article being ‘well written’ but have no intention of rocking the boat.   Betty is angry but she is overruled by the power of the Blossom money and her parents not wanting to upset their only sponsor.

1950s Archie is still the cutest.  He is working his car, underneath it, as he breathlessly narrates his ove for Veronica Lodge.  He actually says SHAZAM!  persuasively.  Hit with a thunderbolt indeed.  He’s so 1950s in fact that the things he says and the way he says them feel suspicious too perfect. “How’s a guy like me gonna get anywhere with a girl like Veronica Lodge” and so  forth.  Jughead is perched like a depressed crow in his S sweater that seems to get darker and darker as the day goes on, looking off to the side and not listening to this earnest puppy love talk.

Jughead’s narration takes over. He is just so anxious.  He’s talking so fast, thinking about Bailey’s Comet, trying to harness that to get back to the future. “But I needed [ pause ] help.”  He sounds increasingly like the wigged out Bunker Jug of Rivervale.  Archie asks for his dad’s hammer, which sets off Jughead’s memory - that Archie buried the hammer in the time capsule.

The capsule they buried in the year 2020 when they graduated from high school, not to be confused with the year 2020 when they were 6 years after graduating from high school, might still be in existence in 1955 even though they were sent ‘back’ to this time from the first but not the second 2020.

Jughead seems to think this is a logical leap and I am very tickled. I kind of find it annoying (sorry, anti-intellectualism incoming, mea culpa in advance) when time travel stories get too precious about theoretical physics, so this made me very pleased with the wild swings they take in narrative on Riverdale.

So! Jughead asks for a shovel to Archie, who gives him an odd look. Is it because Archie thinks “Can I borrow a shovel?” is a really weird response to “Have you seen my dad’s hammer?” or is it because Archie knows something?

Later that night, Jughead is digging something out of the ground again. Grave robbery is one of his leitmotifs, I suppose?   He hits something hard, and guess what! It’s the time capsule.  Jughead is out of breath as he says “Thank God” but he seems just as frantic and scared as before.  And dun dun!! Someone is watching him do all this from the shadows!  The hairline looks vaguely like Tabitha.

Veronica is going to school the next day, wearing  more modest neckline and weather appropriate warm clothes.   Archie has somehow gotten his car out of the garage, so now he’s able to offer her a ride home. She’s very pleased, but Jughead walks right in between the two of them, carrying the time capsule ice box. Summarily, he insists that the two of them come meet him in the music room. Veronica has no idea who he is.

In the music room, they’re all holding their 2020 self’s contribution to the time capsule.  Toni has never seen the Pretty Poisons jacket.  Veronica thinks the Pop’s menu is an only passable prop.  Betty finds the headlines to be “like Dr. Seuss” meaning amusing gibberish, perhaps?   And Kevin keeps asking unanswerable questions - he wants to know what the “inch” is in Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  Archie wants to know when Jughead buried Fred’s hammer in a cooler.

Jughead tackles that one first, saying “YOU did.”  Archie genuinely looks like he has no idea what Jughead’ is talking about, but I’ve sussed it out now - 1950s Archie’s response to confusion is to smile about it. So he smiles.  Jughead can see that his attempt to “shake something loose” in his friends’ minds isn’t working, so in his frustration, his presentation starts to get very garbled.  He tells them they buried all these things 67 years ago IN THE FUTURE which, given the tenses, doesn’t even amount to English.   He says they need to get back to ‘our present, our future’ before full on stuttering.  Betty is concerned, Cheryl is annoyed, Toni and Kevin look embarrassed for Jughead, Archie is smiling because he’s confused.  Veronica, however, is very entertained.  

Archie wants to know what Jughead buried.  Jughead knows it was his “yarn beanie” but then says it wasn’t in the time capsule.  For some reason, this takes the fun out of this exercise for Archie, the fact that Jughead didn’t include an item of his own in the ‘cooler.’

Veronica says she’ll play along, and asks if she or Elizabeth Taylor is more famous in the future.  Cheryl, not to be outdone, cuts in with a request to give a bird’s eye view of the future.  Jughead has not thought this far in advance, so his answer is (adorably) piss poor.  he just throw things out - smartphones,  text messages, spotify, the internet - in THAT order which is the most confusing thing of all time.  Betty tries to help him out since he’s getting frantic during this speech that makes no sense to her - she asks Jughead to describe everyone’s Season 6 selves.

Jughead’s summaries are as follows:  Archie was in the army, fought in a war. Betty was in FBI hunting serial killers.  The way Betty practically salivates at the word serial killer, which doesn’t exist as a word yet, is VERY interesting.  Veronica owns a casino, and before that a speakeasy.  Toni bought the speakeasy, turned it into a biker bar.  Both Veronica and Toni are charmed by this story.  

Jughead positively chokes when he tries to summarize Kevin’s life.  He can tell, by this time, that this is going very sideways, which won’t be helped by how out of sorts Kevin’s life became by the end of Season 6.  Kevin is summarized as directing some musicals, after which he joined an organ harvesting cult.  Not wrong, but not very fulsome.  Cheryl, Jughead says, was possessed by an ancestor and became a witch.  She is not a happy customer, at all.

Archie says a fascinating thing- that he wouldn’t want to go back to the future because “we” sound miserable. Well, given that he was just told he joined the army and went to war, this is true for him, but not all the futures are miserable.

Veronica wants to know how the whole ‘going back to the future’ thing will happen, to which Jughead’s entire presentation falls completely apart. When he says that one of the ways might be a comet, Toni (who has tried very hard to be polite so far) gives a What the fuck look to Betty, who answers it with a Oh he’s just like this smile.   Jughead is fully in frantic world-maintainer Bunker Jughead mode now, and starts shouting about having Archie and Betty make out on Archie’s bed and then “BLOW  UP A BOMB UNDERNEATH THEM.”

This is so funny. I love with Jughead gets all Bunker-Jug, with the shouting and the extreme hand gestures. Is he perhaps channeling Hiram??

Everyone thinks this is very funny, but Archie has had enough.  Archie tries to make Jughead ‘take five’ which puts Jughead fully into feral motormouth mode to ask “YOU’RENOTGONNABEATMEUPAREYOUCUZYOU’REREALLYVIOLENTINTHEFUTURE”

The whole sentence is spit out as one long word.

When the two of them are alone in the gym, Archie lets it rip.  “People are going to think you belong in the looney bin with the other nutjobs!” and “It’s hard enough without your crazy stories” etc.  Jughead is coming down from his frantic mania so being called a ‘nut job’ is not helping.  His eyes actually start to glisten with tears.  “You think I’m crazy?” he asks, in a more normal, much sadder cadence.   Jughead is so upset, and so lonely, and so despairing.

This is a big change from his mid teens, when he took on being not understood, being isolated, unique and alone, as a badge of honor.  This Jughead understands the horror of being trapped in a solitary reality.  He can’t even stand to look at Archie, because that would mean confronting how trapped and alone he actually is in this universe.  Archie tries to be kind, telling him to keep using his ‘overactive’ imagination by channeling that energy into creating fiction.  When Jughead gives up altogether, and agrees, Archie actually skips a couple steps (something he’s never done in any of the other universes) before leaving Jughead standing in the gym.

At the very red, very depressing Blossom mansion, Penelope, who has the most fascinating hairdo (it’s both ornate and simple, hideous and perfectly coiffed) while dressed like the nightmare camp version of the English queen wants to know why  her twins look so sullen.  The way the Blossom twins of this universe bicker seems much more realistic, and, accordingly, much more dull.   I think this is post facto validation for the way the Cheryl-Jason relationship is in the S1-6 canon. It’s so much more interesting than this mundanity between Julian and Cheryl.

Penelope delivers movie magazines to Cheryl, and on the cover is someone not Veronica Lodge being cast in Our Town!

Meanwhile, Veronica is on a date with Archie at Pop’s!  She loves the food. All her attempts to make lighthearted conversation with Archie fail.  He has no idea who Gloria Swanson is.  This literally breaks Veronica’s spirit.   So she changes her line of questioning - “Tell me everything there is to know about Archie Andrews.”

His life is so boring.  “Work on my car. I like sports. I come here to pops. And i hangout at sweet water river.  mostly to fish.”

Then Archie reveals that Fred didn’t make it back from the Korean War, making him one of the 33,000 American servicemen who died.  Thank you Fred Andrews for your service, I guess? I’m slightly peeved that they didn’t make up a different war like they did for Archie to go fight in during the 2020 that lasted for seven years, but then they used the real Emmett Till story so they might as well use the Korean War, I suppose.  Archie is very used to people being upset about having asked, as well as not knowing what to say, so he is very smooth in the way he assures Veronica that “It’s OK” when she tries to apologize for prying.   In this universe, Mary Andrews works part time at the dress shop (no lawyering for her, alas).   I’m shocked she doesn’t work at Pop’s.  Though I guess maybe this economy is better.

Archie has never had a serious girlfriend by his Junior year of HS, about which Veronica is shocked.  Two days after meeting Veronica and in the course of their first real date, Archie more or less says that he wants to be Veronica’s boyfriend. He looks so starry eyed at her, that Veronica is extremely charmed. (So am I.)

But Veronica can’t be let to have nice things, so in comes Cheryl, shouting “J’accuse!”  Cheryl hates Veronica SO MUCH.  Just the ad hominem insults - “lying liar of a spoiled brat” and “banished by your parents!”  - and she insists on shouting the fact that Veronica employed a bit of puffery when she was introducing herself to the class.  

At the Pembroke, Veronica is weeping while consoled by Archie.  Archie tries to say nobody takes Cheryl seriously  Veronica fesses up that she was in fact banished, and she was a problem for her parents.   Veronica says she was ignored and sidelined since the Lodges started Oh Mija!  This is fascinating actually because Veronica’s persistent problem during her high school years was that both her parents were completely obsessed with her- and when she acquired a hitherto unknown older sibling halfway through her years in high school, Hermosa exhibited the same Lodge trait - obsession with Veronica, wanting to love her, wanting and willing to shoot at people on her behalf, and hating her just the little bit.  Now, in this universe, she’s an inconvenient burden neither parents cares much about - which indicates that Veronica was so the object of her parents’ focus because the two of them didn’t have sufficient creative outlets.  “The show is their real baby, not me.”    

This happened in a slower way during S5-6.  When Hiram finally, FINALLY killed off Riverdale and began his SoDale giant real estate project, he stopped being as invested in Veronica per se.  And when Hermione found the semi-acting gig of being a “Real Housewife,” she disappeared entirely out of Veronica’s life.

It turns out Veronica’s deep dark secret, the thing that got her banished to Riverdale by her parents, was that she was in fact tangentially involved in James Dean’s death.  She was one of several good time girls who formed a sort of racing fandom for Dean, and were going to meet him to cheer him on during a race.  

After consoling Veronica, Archie gets home late, to be immediately yelled at by Mary.  Mary is traumatized by the loss of Fred Andrews - which she honestly wasn’t very much in S4-6. Maybe this is why, if he does remember, Archie prefers to stay in this universe.    He has a mom who cares deeply that his father died.  Mother and son bond over their shared loss.  The compromise is that Archie is allowed to drive as long as his car goes very, very slow.  I will also note that his question about how he took HIS car out in a drive is a very unteenager thing to say.  So the question remains - what does Archie know or sense about this alternate universe?

In a fit of masochism, Veronica watches her parents’ show.  The kid cast to play the Mija is Tillie Temple (aka Shirley Temple, perhaps??).  Veronica hates Tilie.  Of course, right now is when Hermione calls.   Turns out someone is keeping a strict eye on the guests that Veronica has over at the apartment.  Veronica wants to go home for Thanksgiving, but Hermione doesn’t say she can come.  She has Orson Welles visiting.  Veronica is so lonely.   This is also new for Veronica - Maternal rejection has never been her problem.  That was usually reserved for Jughead, Cheryl and to a lesser extent, Betty and Archie.

Betty reads the Emmett Till newsletter which show the pictures of what Till went through.  It radicalizes Betty  into wanting to publish the article Toni wrote.  But Toni wants to read a poem out during the morning announcements. There’s an echo of the larger theme in S1 through 6 here.  In previous seasons, Cheryl took it upon herself to make up for her ancestor’s sins. In this one, Toni wants Cheryl to make it up to - who? Toni? the world? - someone for her parents’ cowardice in not wanting to cover the Till murder.   Toni is planning an ambush.

Tabitha immediately approaches Jughead She asks for help.  NAACP is taking Emmett Till’s mother on tour, so Tabitha is going with them.  What Tabitha needs someone to help her ‘stay on top of’ school while she is on this tour.  It’s really not clear to me what that will be, but Jughead - though he is crushed that this Tabitha doesn’t even seem to know him at all - agrees immediately.  His eyes get all sad again, as he looks with wistful tenderness at this person who is exactly like his girlfriend but isn’t, at all.   He smiles and says “Awesome!” which he corrects to “Swell.”

Meanwhile Toni ambushes Cheryl in the bathroom with Betty.  Cheryl doesn’t mind letting Toni borrow her platform, but points out that Featherhead has pulled the plug before.  For what, I wonder? When??  She’s otherwise very easily persuaded.

Tabitha has fainted, Featherhead is tending to her, Miss Bell is off, and so now, Toni can take over the morning announcement!

As Toni was reading the Langston Hughes poem I realized with the Rs and Ss stand for on those sweaters. R is for Riverdale.  A bunch of other students have Rs emblazoned on their sweaters and sweatshirts.  So the S must be for Southside.  Jughead wears a Southside High sweater all the time to attend Riverdale High, and they just let him!

So anyway Toni exhorts everyone to ‘talk to each other’ about it, and this is the third weird lie propagated in American society.  The emphasis on dialogue as somehow a catalyst for systemic change, which it is not

The four girls get a telling off from Featherhead, who tries to call them liars -but Tabitha has an answer for that (she felt sick! but felt better!) and insubordinate - but Cheryl has an answer for that (there has not been a rule that poetry can’t be read during the morning announcement or that they have to pass censorship).  

In the classroom later, the teacher does open up the discussion to the topic, but see, this is the problem.  It puts the burden on the three people of color - Tabitha, Toni, and the unnamed guy I have assumed is Chuck Clayton- to explain reality to everyone else, who can be passive recipients of information and responsible only for articulating their emotional responses.

Later that school day, Veronica is offered a ride by both Julian and Archie, and rejects them both in favor of walking home!

Late at night, Jughead is freaking out by himself in the diner, no typewriter.  He is cracking up.  Maybe seasons 1-6 were the dream and he finally woke up!!  

Tabitha slides into the booth and Glory Hallelujah it’s HIS Tabitha!  “The Tabitha who remembers and loves you.”  He reaches out to grasp her with both hands.  He’s so happy to see her, he says, covering his eyes with one hand, trying not to burst into tears.  Tabitha says that the comet hit because Cheryl failed, so they had their extinction level event  after all.  This isn’t the Sweet Hereafter.  She instead used her life force to send everyone back to 1955 to try to change the future.  She has to be ALONE to untangle all the messed up timelines.  “You have to make a go of it here in the 50s.”

So she parked Jughead here in 1955 to be safe, but because he kept remembering the actual reality (and could drive himself insane or further corrupt the safe timeline) she had to come back to make him forget, so that he can “live in the present, in the moment.”   Oh, but Tabitha.  Jughead was already so bad at that!  And now that’s his part of the mission? To hold it together without her while she fixes the universe?

Jabitha may be the MOST EPIC relationship in scale which doesn’t quite make up for the tiny amount of screen time we’re likely to get if Tabitha has decided that she has to solve this universe sized problem ALONE.  Jughead was willing to die a LOT.  Tabitha went through every single scenario where Jughead died to see how to make that not happen.  And now, Jughead is going to endure having the happiest time of his life wiped from memory - the time when he was a stable adult, who knew who he was in the world, when he was in a relationship and family unit of people who accepted him and supported him, when he had a real home - because Tabitha says it’s “for the best.”  He decides to trust her with erasing the thing that any of us hold the dearest - his memories that constitute his sense of self.   And can we talk about Tabitha’s self sacrifice?  She’s going to do this very difficult work of setting the UNIVERSE RIGHT while voluntarily, entirely, completely forgotten (by her own hand!) by her significant other who adores her,  all her friends in the community she chose to become independent from her parents, all alone.  

Holy shit.

Jughead’s sprint home after their kiss, which rightly seems to freeze time to be everlasting before Tabitha steps away, is so desperate and frantic.  Jughead who was terrified of being forgotten is beginning to forget the most important person in his adult life. All he has are the words “bend. toward. justice.” and the sense that something terrible has just happened to him, without the ability to remember what it is.   This isn’t the Sweet Hereafter.  This has to be hell.

I am LOVING this.  It’s so BIG.  I wish they could SHOW it though.  But I think eventually, because the universe does in fact bend towards justice, someone will write me the fanfic that will have me lain flat on the floor from devastation.  Because omg the Jabitha relationship has SCOPE.

And the final kicker-  Jughead doesn’t recognize his stupid hat.  Ha!

P.S.  The title reference, “Don’t Worry Darling”  if it’s to that movie that came out this year, in 2023, then it’s very twisty and fun.  Because that movie is about a man manipulating a woman’s mind for his own aggrandizement, and this episode is the mirror of that - a woman manipulating a man’s mind, with his explicit agreement, to save the universe.

[andsmile]

i'll be home for christmas

by @andsmile and @theeternalblue for @monica-posh

after years away, archie andrews comes back to riverdale with christmas, and a cafe full of sweet treats, just around the corner.

a posted-post-holidays-holiday one shot inspired by hallmark and archie's holiday magic special!

(read here)

[ao3feed--bughead]

Long Reach Collection

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49587442 by Dragonnfire One-shot collection featuring Bughead. Varchie and Choni on the side with copious amounts of Serpent found family. Words: 9893, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Fandoms: Riverdale (TV 2017) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews, Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom, Toni Topaz Relationships: Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones Additional Tags: One Shot Collection, choni, varchie, bughead - Freeform, Southside Serpent Jughead Jones, Southside Serpent Betty Cooper, Southside Serpent Leader Jughead Jones, Mentioned Southside Serpents Gang, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Drama, Found Family, mentioned smut, Protective Sweet Pea (Riverdale), Stonewall Prep (Riverdale), Riverdale Bulldogs - Freeform, Jughead Jones Loves Betty Cooper, Protective Serpents, Serpent Queen Betty Cooper, Serpent King Jughead Jones, B & V capers, Archie Andrews Being an Idiot, Cheryl is a bitch but she's our bitch, Reggie mantle being an asshole but we love him anyway read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49587442

[citadelofswords]

i’ve started my annual relisten of interstitial season one and i feel like i have been neglecting my duties as your dashboard’s resident actual play podcast liker so here. have a recommendation post.

Why You Should Listen To Interstitial: A Crossover Driven Actual Play Podcast

first of all: what am i talking about? well, interstitial is a tabletop game written by riley hopkins inspired by kingdom hearts. in riley’s own words, it is “a tabletop RPG about our connections with other people, the power we draw from those connections, and traveling to different worlds.” it’s a powered by the apocalypse game so if you’re familiar with dungeon world, monster of the week, or masks, you’ll pick it up pretty quickly. (you can get it on riley’s website or on itch.io!)

but this post is not about the game. this is about interstitial the crossover driven actual play podcast, which began as a patreon reward for the got it memorized? kingdom hearts recap podcast.

interstitial has three seasons and several bonus arcs to its name. you don’t need to listen to all the seasons in order for the others to make sense, but i still recommend you do. here is what the seasons are like:

season one, the original patreon reward season, is directly inspired by and linked to kingdom hearts, featuring keyblades, nobodies, and the funniest version of organization xiii you’ve ever heard. i will not spoil you for the characters or worlds visited in this season; i will simply tell you to listen to the first ten minutes of character creation and say that that just about sets the standard for the rest of the show. (all properties contained in this season are specifically disney owned which, as we know, is a very VERY wide umbrella.) by the way i listened to season one the first time while knowing nothing about kingdom hearts and i still understood most of it so don’t worry about that.

the door to darkness specials are one-shot specials released between seasons one and two. here are some things that happen in them: shego from kim possible norts archie andrews (touch of evil), riley fails so many rolls that tony hawk fades from existence completely (reality and other falsehoods), wheels plays bright eyes from the total eclipse of the heart music video (lonely souls), and in the 2 fast 2 furious special the party has to prevent matt hardy and problem sleuth from being norted.

season two, subtitled authority, breaks away from the disney property mantle. the protagonists are rescued fragments of destroyed worlds who are being shuffled from world to world while their worlds are being rebuilt. well, that’s the original conceit, anyway. i want you to also listen to this season’s character creation episode, if nothing else, because it is the PERFECT example of how to do character introductions through a framing device. also, there is a cyborg version of john cena being chased down by his version of vince mcmahon who has transcended this mortal coil and is now a gas cloud.

season three, subtitled proximity, was a surprise release at the beginning of 2022. it’s the heist season; the characters are part of a crew set up to just rob some motherfuckers blind. that’s an oversimplification. i cannot stress enough that season three is perfect in every fucking way. if you thought pidge voltron should have been canonically nonbinary, if you like john wick, if you like having two characters both named miles in the same room, if you like the abba song “the winner takes it all” you will love this season. it is only BARELY edged out by season one in my personal rankings because season one is my comfort show but who knows. i might revisit my rankings on my next relisten.

if you think the things i vaguely alluded to were buckwild, all i can say is, you’ve got a big storm coming.

each season is about sixteen episodes a piece, and each episode is about an hour long, so it’s very easily digestible. the episodes are absolutely hilarious and poignant in turn, everyone is a joy to listen to both in and out of character, and you can tell they’re all just having an absolute blast.

you can find interstitial on your podcast app of choice: spotify, apple podcasts, etcetera. please listen to it. and maybe if you like it post about it a little bit!

(please note this post is not sponsored by or endorsed by interstitial or riley themself i just love this show and want to share it with people so here i am)

[supercap2319]

Meeting of Heroes

Pureheart The Powerful AKA Archibald "Archie" Andrews was no stranger to other superheroes like himself. His friends Jughead, Veronica, and Betty were also superheroes. Even Moose and Reggie. They even had allies in other areas like Greendale, home of Sabrina Spellman, code name: Enchantress. Speaking of Sabrina, she was off in another dimension dealing with magical problems that needed her attention, but she had time before she left to warn Archie and his friends that her enemies, the Greendale Thirteen, would be coming to Riverdale to take over.

The Greendale Thirteen was a group of thirteen witches that wanted to rule the mortal world and cast in an era of chaos and disarray. They wouldn't succeed. Not if Pureheart, Superteen, Miss Vanity, and Captain Hero had anything to say about it.

Despite not being here to help, Sabrina didn't leave her super pals completely alone. She was sending one of her closest friends to come and help them.

It was a good thing too, because they could use all the help they could get. Even though they all had super strength, they were still outnumbered by nine. The witches blasted them with their magic as Archie took on the head witch. She gave him an uninterested look. "You think you can stop us, child?" Her voice was oozing with overconfidence. "We are not of this earth. Nothing on this planet can stop us." She boasted.

"Well, I'm sure as hell gonna try." Pureheart told her as he flew towards her, fist raised for a punch. The witch laughed as she summoned a blast of blue magical energy as it crashed into Archie, knocking him back as he tried to break through it with punches. He kept punching himself a path with his brawn before the witch cast a shield to protect herself as Pureheart slammed his fists into the wall of magic to break through. The head witch summoned lightning and struck Archie down to the ground as he created a small crater from his descent.

He grunted as he looked up at the witch as she summoned a fireball in her hands and as she was about to throw it down at Archie, one of her fellow witches told her something as her face shifted from smug to complete anger and shock as the head witch barked orders for her fellow wiccans to blast their magic towards the sky as Archie frown in confusion as Betty and Veronica helped him up. “What the hell are they shooting at?” Captain Hero, Jughead, asked.

He got his answer as a ball of light that looked similar to a comet was heading towards them, as the witches' powers seemed to be ineffective against this thing. Each strike of magic made it seem bigger and more powerful as Pureheart watched the comet strike five witches down to the ground as the remaining eight either attacked and got hit by the ball of light, or tried to escape and got caught until only the head witch was left.

The ball of energy stopped as it formed a person with a red, black, yellow suit. He wore a black helmet and a red visor to cover his face as the mysterious flying man smiled at the witch. “Long time no see, witch bitch.”

“Why won’t you die?!” the witch shrieked as she blasted him with blue fire as he flew towards it and Archie’s heart dropped at that. Seeing this hero getting burned alive was unsettling, but luckily, he wasn’t. The new hero shot a stream of his own energy that glowed and sparkled like a miniature galaxy as the two energy forces collided over each other, trying to consume the other one as the witch was losing her edge. She struggled to push back. “You can’t win. We won’t be imprisoned again.”

“Too late. You’ve lost.” The hero pushed more energy until it exploded, causing a blinding light and Pureheart covered his eyes until it was all clear. They all looked to see the mystery hero standing there with the witch in his arms, unconscious. “There. She won’t be able to take over your town now.”

Archie swallowed as he walked towards the male hero and held out his hand. “Thanks for coming when you did. You saved our asses.”

The guy flashed Pureheart a grin that made his heart skip a beat. “No problem, Pureheart The Powerful. You and the Superteens are doing a great job. Keep up the good work.” He rounded up all the witches and put them together as he used his powers to create a large ball to fit all of them in. “See ya around.”

Archie watched him go as he smiled like an idiot before he remembered that they didn’t catch his name. “Wait! What’s your name?”

The guy looked down at them and smiled once again. “The Comet. But you can call me Y/N.” Then he was gone.

“Cool.” Archie whispered to himself.

[fyeahvarchie]

hi there! I just found your blog, and I’m just wondering, do you have any varchie fanfic recs? Thanks in advance! Happy Sunday ✨

Hello!

Welcome to Varchieland.

It's Monday for me now and I'm sorry for not replying earlier, but timezones are a tricky thing.

Always eager to give people a reason to appreciate Varchie.

I can't start this rec list without first mentioning Lake Michigan. It's a role reversal story with Archie being the new guy as he moves to Chicago to live with his mom following the Grundy mess. While Varchie is the main ship obviously, it spends some quality time on other characters too and various dynamics. It's still in progress, but a little birdie told me she's aiming to finish the story this year.

The current obsession is Hymn For The Missing. (The title is all thanks to me after all~) It's a canon-divergent take on season 7. It deals with the aftermath of the comet and the loss of many characters -- though one in particular drives the story. Varchie find themselves on the road looking for answers.

I think you'll have noticed by now that these two fanfictions are from the same author. And so I encourage you to read everything that's been written by andsmile. Special mentions to the Hard Things Break series -- a rollercoaster that never stops. To All The Girls I've Sung About which is a take on the book of practically the same name. And All The Roads based on the movie Family Man.

There's also the wonderful theeternalblue and her many one shots, ficlets and holiday goodies. A special mention to Tell Them I'm Home which deals with Archie being a single father and meeting one very gorgeous raven-haired girl.

And you can't read Varchie fanfiction without checking Tuesdayschildd and monicaposh who never fail to bring the heat. My special mentions go to Across The Stars which follows various versions of Varchie through the ages. As well as Give Me All Your Midnights -- successful entrepreneur Veronica Lodge meets songwriter Archie Andrews.

There are many other fanfictions about Varchie, from some great authors, and so ultimately, you should be able to find them all at @varchiefanfiction.

Hope you'll enjoy yourself.

[archieimagines]

Discontinued Fandoms Masterlist

This is a compilation of all the works we’ve posted for fandoms we no longer write for. The writing itself will always be kept here for you to enjoy!

Check our main masterlist here!

American Horror Story

Imagines:

Cordelia Foxx | Imagine becoming the new Supreme

Big Bang Theory

One Shots:

Sheldon Cooper | Prove the Theory

Headcanons:

Sheldon and Leonard | Sheldon’s little sister sharing the apartment

Black Sails

Imagines:

Charles Vane | Imagine Charles Vane promising you a future by his side

The Breakfast Club

Imagines:

John Bender | Imagine Bender helping you find the library for detention

DC Universe

One Shot:

Hal Jordan | Get Your Own Jello

Deadpool

Preferences:

How they cuddle  |  Part 2 

Divergent

Imagines:

Will | Imagine Will teaching you martial arts

Doctor Who

Imagines:

10th Doctor | Imagine being with the 10th Doctor in Paris

12th Doctor | Imagine being in a band with the 12th Doctor

Downton Abbey

One Shots:

Thomas Barrow | Such A Charmer

The Flash

Headcanons:

Barry Allen | Dating Barry would include

Friends

Imagines:

Joey Tribbiani | Imagine having a crush on Joey

Headcanons:

All | Having a night out with the group would include

Glee

Imagines:

Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman | Imagine Puck getting jealous over you

Grey’s Anatomy

One Shots:

George O’ Malley | 007

Owen Hunt | Major Owen Hunt | My Choice

Hairspray

Imagines:

Corny Collins | Imagine Corny telling you “Hey baby, looks like you could use a stiff one.”

Hawaii 5-0

One Shots:

Chin Ho Kelly | Mistakes

Danno Williams | Save Me

Hemlock Grove

Imagines:

Roman Godfrey | Imagine Roman missing your hints that he’s an upir

KINGSMAN MASTERLIST

LOST

Imagines:

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not wanting to give your bag back James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not realising he’s stolen your medication James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine having your first time with Sawyer James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer noticing that Jack is your ex

Kate Austen | Imagine Kate comforting you when you lose a precious necklace

Sayid Jarrah | Imagine falling asleep on Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine being selectively mute and only speaking to Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid saving you Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid scaring you when he turns ‘bad’ Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding a pool with Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding out Sayid is touch-starved

Shannon Rutherford | Imagine lending Shannon your inhaler

One Shots:

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Sandbox  |  Part 2

Preferences:

First Kiss

Night At The Museum

Imagines:

Kahmunrah | Imagine Kahmunrah falling in love with you

The Maze Runner

Imagines:

Gally | Imagine Gally falling in love with you Gally | Imagine trying to come up with a plan to be with Gally

NCIS

Imagines:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs | Imagine Gibbs reluctantly cuddling with you

One Shots:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs | His Closest Friend

Park And Rec

Imagines:

Ben Wyatt | Imagine comforting Ben after the Ice Town incident

One Shots: 

Andy Dwyer | “Holy shit, you know Santa!”

Ben Wyatt | Happy Secrets

Peaky Blinders

One Shots:

Tommy Shelby | Eavesdrop

Preacher

Imagines:

Cassidy | Imagine being in a relationship with Cassidy Cassidy | Imagine getting up to mischief with Cassidy

Pushing Daisies

Imagines:

Emerson Cod | Imagine Emerson knitting you a sweater for Christmas Emerson Cod | Imagine being Emerson’s assistant

Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned falling in love with you when you become a regular Ned the Piemaker | “You’re covered in flour.” Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned baking you a pie

Reign

One Shots:

Sebastian ‘Bash’ de Poitiers | Real France  |  Part 2

Riverdale

Imagines:

Archie Andrews | Imagine everyone noticing you and Archie like each other Archie Andrews | Imagine being a Serpent that Archie falls for

Jughead Jones | Imagine editing Jughead’s manuscript Jughead Jones | Imagine becoming Jughead’s friend

Reggie Mantle | Imagine Reggie liking you

Sweet Pea | “Open your present!”

Veronica Lodge | I dressed down in this catwoman outfit for you and my party boob keeps escaping

One Shots:

Archie Andrews | Worry

Jughead Jones | Misery Loves Company

Sweet Pea | Blood, Tears, and... Corn?

Shadowhunters

Imagines:

Jace Wayland | Imagine Clary trying to go for Jace when he’s already dating you

Teen Wolf

Imagines:

Lydia Martin | Imagine Lydia helping you figure out which supernatural creature you are

Stiles Stilinski | Imagine helping Stiles through his night terrors Stiles Stilinski | Imagine being Scott’s little sister and having a crush on Stiles | Part 2  Stiles Stilinski | Imagine Stiles reacting to you getting terrible anonymous messages Stiles Stilinski | “Fine, you can put the topper on the tree.” Stiles Stilinski | “My gingerbread house is prettier than yours.”

One Shots:

Brett Talbot | His Angel

Stiles Stilinski | Unsteady Stiles Stilinski | Not Anymore Stiles Stilinski | Jealousy

Theo Raeken | In the Neighbourhood (kinda NSFW)

Headcanons:

Stiles Stilinski | Dating Stiles would include Stiles Stilinski | How Stiles reacts to you breaking up with him Stiles Stilinski | Taking Stiles to meet your parents would include

Theo Raeken | Dating Theo would include

X-MEN

Imagines:

Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | Imagine Erik trying to help with dinner by using his powers Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Charles ‘Professor X’ Xavier | “Why does the house smell like a cinnamon roll threw up?”

Charles and Erik | Imagine being recruited into the X-Men by Charles and Erik

Wolverine / Logan | Imagine stealing Logan’s motorbike to get his attention after having a crush on him for so long

[arewordsenough]

Rated Explicit - 2.2k One Shot - M/M - Explicit Sexual Content

Summary: Kevin's feeling a little uncomfortable at a Blossom mansion party, but thankfully there's someone there who's ready to help him out with that.

Based on a prompt from one of my readers.

Featured pairing: Archie Andrews/Kevin Keller

Key tags: Body Worship