#as always i’ll do whatever i want | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-travelling-witch · 2 years

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here’s another poll+ a glimpse of what’s floating around my drafts bc wow i want to write all of this but where do i start >///<

#chatter spell #i hope those are all #as always i’ll do whatever i want #but if i can’t decide i might as well ask #i woke up today and was like ‘piecer! kazuha!!’#but the gamer bfs have been on my mind a lot #some of these have been catching dust FOR A WHILE #i’ll keep working on matchups in the meantime #even if my eyes are falling closed despite waking up three hours ago

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stuckinapril · 9 months

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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

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cable-salamder · 3 months

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In drs2p2 someone should say the word “host” or “game-show” in Jay’s earshot in a completely different context but he ends up remembering nothing but that like one year or so where for some reason that was his profession.

#he has no idea why he did this #he doesn’t remember lloyd coming up and re-recruiting him either #just him wearing that silly outfit and sending people onto an obstacle course #i’m making up such stupid shit i’m so desperate for more dr jay content HELP #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #ninjago dr #ninjago dr s2 #ninjago spoilers #ninjago shitpost #cable stupids #jay ninjago #ninjago jay #jay walker #parallel to my drs2 nya and s4 nya meeting we also have: this #older femme jay and masc nya meeting their pre hormones selves is always a delight #i sketched this but idk if i’ll ever actually draw it so i’m calling anyone to do with this whatever they want

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tabithatwo · 1 year

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(x)

(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)

#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz #no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird #like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE #showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops #to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like #also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer #but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon #like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol #but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this #HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS #juliette lewis #natalie scatorccio #yellowjackets

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kii0mi · 1 year

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Ok so, hear me out, what if Danny thinks he and clockwork have a mentor and mentee relationship, almost like a family dynamic even. He gets to sleep on a couch on clockworks tower, hang around, and clockwork might sometimes even help him.

He’s happy, it’s everything he didn’t have with the Fentons, but, what if, clockwork only did it to avoid a bad timeline? He didn’t actually care about Danny, could care less what happened to him as long as it didn’t affect the timeline, and Danny discovers it for the first time when clockwork is very willing, and not at all affected, to end his life if he doesn’t complete a certain task for a “better timeline”

It’s not even a definite will, it’s just a slight chance of the timeline going wrong, and then Danny truly sees how little their relationship means to clockwork. It all crumbles around him as he realizes that the only “healthy” relationship he thought he had was build on straight up lies, he grieves for the mentor he apparently never even had on the first place.

Danny finishes the mission, and as clockwork goes to Pat him in the head for a good job so similar to a dog, a loyal pet to just follow orders in exchange for the bare minimum of affection and care, Danny avoids his hand and just flies away, core empty, void of any meaningful relationship, alone

He stops visiting clockwork altogether, and clockwork doesn’t visit either, barely keeping an eye on the boy to make sure he doesn’t step out of line, and if they capture and experiment on the kid? It’s not his problem as long as the timeline turns out alright

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp #au #plot idea #I love me some good angst :)#I’ll write 100 different angst ideas before I’m even able to think of a fluff one lol #if anyone is interested on the idea you can do whatever you want with it!#just wanted to get this out there #always love to see more DP angst fics #could even be a crossover #maybe the justice league find out about Danny and they try to save him #but when they get there Danny is disassociating and empty staring #they get him to the watchtower and he still won’t say a thing #just letting them do whatever #not caring what happens to himself #not flinching when they put needles in his arms for iv drip’s #but the moment a gentle hand lands on his shoulder he’s flinching away #eyes scared #it takes a long time before Danny trusts them #not even considering using the word mentor to describe their relationship for a long time #until slowly #his walls go down #oh so slowly #but they do #and he finally can have that affection and care he oh so missed all those years ago #write later

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danothan · 11 months

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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things

#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao #feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy #danbles #and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth #or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities #or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to #or whatever else #i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy #I’M certainly not going to #but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer #and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where #i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything #but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on #it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way #idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences #even negative ones are valuable to me #but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem #maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem #fuuck guys i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀

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ihopeucomehomesoon · 8 months

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i won’t hold people to the same standards i have on myself in terms of friendship bc everyone shows they care in different ways

#this is a part affirmation and part intro to a rant i need to unleash #but i’ll leave it in the tags here bc it feels safer lol #it’s abt my housemate the other day when we had our last class which is online but our previous classes were in person so as a class we #usually just pull it up on the main computer and broadcast the zoom in the classroom #but on this day the class before this zoom class got out early so lots of people went home early to just watch it on their own zoom or wtvr #so the row i sit in was pretty empty except for me my housemate and our two friends #and usually my housemate sits on my right but she got up and moved to sit on the other side next to our other friend and said nothing #and i didn’t want to say anything bc i was kinda sad/offended even though #her moving seats probably has nothing to do with me and much rather her personal preference i can’t help but think negatively abt myself #also one morning we were both off she went to the smoothie shop and coffee shop and just went to pick up her orders and i felt the same #reaction of like sad/offended bc she didn’t consider me at al like what if i wanted a smoothie too! TF #or coffee even though i don’t drink coffee anymore wtvr #my thoughts on her and my friendship are kinda rocky bc we feel so out of sync #i feel like she’s always in her own world and it’s hard to get through to her and become real friends #it’s whatever not all friendships can be deep and meaningful

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sebsrainbowbicycle · 26 days

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There is literally no winning with me. Spent time with my friend and went shopping, zoomed around in a mobility scooter buying new sleep shirts and snacks and fun shit. Then we hung out here for an hour or so until I had to go lie down because pain and she left. Fun right? What I’ve been longing for?

So why is it that all I’ve done since she left is cry? I’m such a needy bitch at the moment and it’s so annoying. Probably also due to the fact that she and our other friend are going to the seaside tomorrow and I can’t go because - yanno - two hours of sitting put me in agony maybe.

I hate this.

#idk what I’m doing tomorrow probably nothing because pain and also what the fuck can I do?#everyone is busy which is good but I’m not and I’ll be laid in bed all day doing nothing #and it’s like obviously I don’t think people should have to talk to me or whatever yanno but it would be nice if they wanted to #but also I recognise that I’m a lot right now #not saying that’s a bad thing it’s just a fact I am a lot because it’s hard and I’m sad so it makes sense that people can’t deal with that #always #it just sucks #anyway #Dee talks

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lavender-temult · 4 months

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Since Imogen recently got her design updated, I decided to give Otohan an update in the form of a beanie!

#not sure if I’ll like it whereas with the bangs + headband + flower I knew I wanted to do that for a while beforehand lol #but we’ll see! it’s fun to play around #and speaking of playing around I used a bigger sketch brush than normal and liked it #doesn’t translate over into the line art very well but whatever still a fun test!#happy put imogen and otohan in a box friday everyone!#critical role #my art #otohan thull #imogen temult #undescribed #also speaking of Imogen’s flower: it’s just on the other side of her head lol #a friend asked if it switched sides to always face the camera. it does not haha #it is decided on a whim. a whim that says to make it face the camera. weirdly consistent. just ignore that lol

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lynxfrost13 · 5 days

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I feel like there’s hands trapped in my chest clawing to get out but that’s okay! We stay silly!

#sorry to scream but I have got to just yell for a minute #idk what the hell happened to me but it started a few months ago #every time I’m alone with my thoughts it’s just there. something and it’s itchy!!! metaphorically yknow but #my soul is itchy babes this is concerning #not very concerning I’m pretty certain it has to do with me finally realizing oh maybe I ain’t cis #but I DONT FUCKIN LIKE IT #I know what’s gonna happen. whatever this is it’s gonna gnaw at me for a couple years and then it’ll just hit me like a truck and I’ll be #Changed for the better or worse #same thing happened when I wrestled with the sexuality but it’s so stupid #body stop it. chest stop it. hands!!!! stop scratching and trying to crack me chest open please #I’d like to deal with this Not Right Now I have other real issues that are more pressing #wish I could just open my chest up and grab the lil fucker that’s in there causing a ruckus and squeeze him until his head pops #anyways sorry this is stupid and very venty from me in a way I don’t usually do it #btw I do want to stress I am generally doing great overall! just tired (always haha)#but workouts have been awesome and I’m happy with my progress and I’m workin and doin well #but this has just been driving me crazy lately #lynx talks #sorryyyyy abt all that #anyway

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giddlygoat · 3 months

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that scene in pacific rim where his brother dies while they’re linked and he describes it as a sudden nothingness that will never leave him. like half of his mind and soul became empty but did not vanish, because he carries that emptiness with him forever now. yeah man. that’s just what having a close sibling is like

#like. being separated from my twin bro so long has done a number on me ngl #and it’s not just the physical distance. there’s some emotional connection missing here too #i know that shit is always fluctuating and changing just as people do and i know i’ll always be able to rely on him to an extent #but god. growing up we were barely even separate people. or at least it feels like it #i can’t stop thinking about this lately. whatever #it’s just that ever since we were babies he’s been able to make me laugh just by Looking at me #not even doing a face. just looking at me. as if he could beam joy at me by will #and there’s something so precious about that and i don’t want to only look back on it fondly from a distance #i’m selfish. i wanna keep him in my pocket forever. i don’t want to go more than a few days without seeing each other ever again #idk. i have to be flexible and open to my own evolution. we are our own people with different lives #but i still want our lives to be a part of each other yknow?#gear diary

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scionshtola · 3 months

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you would think after knowing me for 30 years my parents would know that i do not in fact like being told about plans 2 hours before they are happening with the assumption that i am coming and yet. all the time.

#my mom is now mad that i was annoyed and she will be mad if i don’t go but this happens every time #maybe i won’t go this time and she will stop doing this to me ahdjdk #i know this is bc like two weeks ago i said it was fine living with them #bc like every day since then they have decided to prove actually it is not that fine. agdhfjskd #i need a text post tag #they always assume just bc i’m at home i’ll drop whatever to do what they want like NO i have PLANS #they are just WIRH MYSELF

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askamnesiamoonjumper · 5 months

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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start #I wanna get in his head more ok sue me #Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits #Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts #Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever #That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak #Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it #Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom #I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue #Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house #Grace post #this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things #Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho #Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain #Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark #Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries #This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts #In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh #Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be #But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now #Shrugs #maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno #Ok yapping over byeeeeee

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classical-vanity · 5 months

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There’s days when I really feel like a failure/ disappointment because I think everyone had pretty high expectations of me growing up and I feel like I’ve done nothing with my life

#i feel like it’s always just been assumed I’ll do well in life #because I did pretty well in school early on #but that was always just because i had to #it just felt like my duty to do well so I did #doing bad in school was not really an option #i was also called ambitious when i was young #but I never felt ambitious #again I just did what i had to do in my eyes #to be ambitious i think you need to work towards something #and I never knew what I wanted to do #i think I’ve always been sort of lost #and i see people I grew up with that seem to be doing so much better #and it makes me feel very inadequate and mediocre #I think it’s mostly bad brain bc idk these people anymore idk how their lives are for real #i always feel like i have to do more and what I do is not enough #but like half of last year all i had energy for was surviving day to day #idek what i’m supposed to be doing really #maybe I’m just a boring mediocre person and it is what it is at the end of the day #this is too long but whatever #tbd likely

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alwaysxyou · 2 years

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at the end of the day i love louis and i hope he’s okay, and whatever it is at hand that is preventing positive changes, that it gets better and louis can experience and understand how much he truly deserves

#I’ll be the first to admit watching as a fan is frustrating sometimes #but always comes from a place of just I love this man so much #and want the best for him and his peace #and as a reminder to everyone #it’s okay to decide what your limits are #and to decide what is worth it to you #and where you draw the line and don’t do something or speak out about something or whatever that looks like to you

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oldfarmwitch · 9 months

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I really miss Dan’s pandemic curls.

#especially with his new haircut #every time i see him now i wistfully think about his curls #oh well whatever he can do what he wants with his hair (obvs)#i’ll just always and forever love his wild little curls #dan levy #coastal elites

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