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#as ive stated multiple times
girlwiththegreenhat · 2 months
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team fortress 2 finally getting rid of the bots after 5 years
work on the team fortress 2 comic continuing after 7+ years
half life 3 development looking more likely than ever with legitimate code, file, and voicework leaks referencing a new non-VR single-player game from valve featuring a HEV suit wearing protagonist and Xen creatures and concepts
shoutout to the valve fan that found the genie lamp. you a real one
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attineilde · 6 months
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me when I realise I should've done my homework instead of reading aftg fanfics:
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pagesofkenna · 1 month
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if i ever DO decide to move to the midwest, or just generally the US east, which is where the midwest is, ive got to start an influencer-style shortform video series where i try out non-Californian things for the first time from an extremely Californian-perspective
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famewolf · 5 months
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speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
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Tenmyouji biker speech is like the most important scene in vlr to me. Without that it looks like the narrative never even questions akanes explanations and plans and motives and like i guess that's easy to do when you playing video game are also viewing it from a dozens of timelines at once as means to the true end perspective. And the other characters in that bonus chapter like clover and alice are so bizarrely understanding and not mad at her for kidnapping them. But it being junpei of all people who forces you to think about how every timeline goes on and is the single linear world there ever was for everyone else in it. When akanes plan is so much "i am going to kill jumpy 6000 000 times so i can make a happy world with jumpy :)". It's so important and it singlehandedly fixes something that wouldve really really bugged me and it makes akane and sigma better characters when it's explicit the game isnt just like exclusively believing theyre simply correct
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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variousqueerthings · 2 years
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ok wait also bj is a fucked up gremlin of a man and 99% of that energy is directed at hawkeye like he’s the jumped up petty jock who keeps pulling on pigtails, because he never learned to analyse his own emotions
the fact that he basically launched a concentrated “lets make hawkeye so paranoid that he essentially doesn’t sleep for a whole day and night and then get him to undress on a table in public while singing ‘you’re the tops’” campaign just because hawkeye told him he wasn’t as funny as trapper is
it’s
it
..........
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lonniemachin · 2 years
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After a couple months of traveling with Oliver and company, Lonnie crosses an Arrow Family threshold.
~2k words. pre-flashpoint, post-canon. gen.
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seoafin · 2 years
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when it comes to reception on my fics i'm not even asking you guys to comment on them (although i am extremely very grateful for every tag comment and ask) it's the barest of bare minimums which is to respect me as a person and to not come into my askbox to demand a fic that probably won't even break 200 notes
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mentally ill people who for whatever reason end up wearing the same exact clothing so many days in a row that it begins to disintegrate and will still not stop wearing it until it’s literally just scraps of fabric VS. those weird shitty rich people who ‘’can’t be seen in the same outfit twice’’ human dichotomy 
#poast brought to you by my pants that are missing an entire leg and completely open in the back and the front almost#to the point they could not really be considered pants anymore (I wear lots of layers so i have shorts under them but lol)#I tore them again sitting down and it made me introspect about when it's time to throw clothes out and how everyone has different standards#and etc. Like how some people will get stains on clothing and just throw it away#.where others will keep wearing stained stuff if they have an attachment to it. etc. etc.#or like One hole in jeans is okay but 20 holes is Crossing A Line - unless they were made that way as a fashion trend#which then made me think about those people who like.. change clothes multiple times a day and never want to rewear stuff#and just have a constant stream of fast fashion etc. Anyway. not a real dichotomy. just being silly. i like to think about humans behaviors#brggghghb.. still not being very productive as I just keep having flare up after flare up of various chronic issues I have so I'm feeling#sick like every few days but always for different reasons. As if something has increased the general  inflammation in my entire body#and its just bopping around making different things worse here and there. but I'm not sure of any underlying cause.#theorectially could always be stress since I am often stressed but I don't feel stressed more than usual. I have no infection markers#on blood tests and my covid tests so far have been negative. I guess my body just felt like 'hey happy new year. would you like.. uhm...#some... Problems.. as a treat? OuO''#I mean I'm lucky at this point that I don't have a condition that makes me completely bedridden or something and am grateful for that but#having so many smaller issues in the background overlapping all the time can be ehxausting and make it feel like a larger issue#because you just never get a break. once one problem clears up it's another. etc. modifying diet. supplements. doctors. new issue. new modif#ications. new doctors. new this#new that. etc. For my body to reach some sort of non-inflammed stable state I feel like I'm going to have to just be suspended in a gladd#*glass antigravity chamber for 3 years eating nothing but basic gruel and iv liquids. something so bland and so untriggering of anything#that literally nothing can be inflammed or etc. lol.. Though I'd probably still somehow have joint pain even with nogravity.#ANYWAY... I did finally edit a new sims video. for the few of you that follow my sims youtube. I have costumes totally ready to post I just#literally havent had the energy to queue up the photos. STILL WORKING ON EVIL WORLDBULDING SLIDESHOW task of  epic proportions#. other videos. other stuff. I've had to spend some time on social stuff since I really ned to get started finding friends in the potential#places I'd like to move so I know people when I get there. as it takes me like years to trust someone. but hjgh... I am so like. inherently#unrelatable to the average person. at least the avg people on friend making sites and stuff. I even made a perosnal compatibility quiz#but again.. thats something most people don't do lol... ''buhh just text snapchat me & get to know me through conversation why should i take#a 15 minute quiz up front?'' shut up. i woudl LOVE to take a custom compatibility quiz before talking to someone. its efficent. you will nev#er get it. that is a positive to me. if only anyone else did that. if only. (I'm being jokingly rude. its perfectly reaosnable for people to#have different standards and communication styles. etc. etc. lol) ANYWAY.. tldr me sleepy and feel bad no productive wehh
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anotherpapercut · 1 year
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thank you for your service on the fall out boy genius lyrics o7
lmao tysm I'm really fighting for my life out here trying to get my lyric corrections for so good right now approved. as an autistic person minute inconsistencies are my whole bread and butter. I must do my duty to the fobbies o7
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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What would you consider to be middle class though? Cus I had an American Girl doll but I think I was still poor lmao credit card debt
tbh i dont think owning like. A american girl doll makes u middleclass or anything i think i said that lol. bc its like.. a big purchase you save for. but the girl i was talking abt and didnt seem to realize that was like ... not the same for other ppl she was just like "LOL i was just soo into american girl doll i know more abt american girl dolls than you do" when its like No your family could just afford to buy you a rly extravagant gift a couple times over.
#sry this doesnt rly answer the question Ill admit my idea of middle class is a bitt skewed bc i was on that poverty grind as a kid#hashtag living in a hotel hashtag both parents working multiple jobs hashtag going weeks with no food LMAO. so in my mind middle class is#like. can afford to go on an out of state vacation every year. WHICH IS NOTT MIDDLE CLASS RLY IK. but we only went on a big out of state#vacation like... Max every 3 years and that was only road trips. ive never flown b4 lmao... thats another thing is if somebody says Oh ive#flown multiple times im like ohhh oil tycoon parents? richboy over here ? (joking)#like yk. ik that doesnt necessarily mean middle class. my like. for serious definition of a middle class family would beeee. ig if one#parent could afford to be unemployed and the family would still be able to live relatively comfortably (bills paid enough food etc) i thin#id consider that like. at least lowermiddle class...#sry this is a jumble KJABJDBKN yk. i think theres still an inate instinct in me to see anybody living comfortably and go like wowww ok#old money over here... yr parents only work 1 job each your mom isnt even fulltime? which is silly obviously. but yk#basically. i have a hard time distinguishing between like.. any classes above like. poverty. and lower class. bc my brain is automatically#like well they have more money than i did growing up ig they r bourgeoisie scum#JOKE. but yes#that rly was just like a quick Ugh this yter is kinda annoying post LMAO i hope u dont take it too seriously lol.#i had a couple american girl dolls that were my moms when she was little#so im not like Oh you have ag dolls ? guillotine now. LMAO. so yes#SRY AGAIN THIS IS SO RAMBLEY IM TIRED LMAO
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lethesbeastie · 2 years
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For ask game:
9 and 33?
9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?
Funny story, I don't really drink coffee akfhdjf??? I probably should, if only for the possibility of caffeine combating my adhd, but alas, I remain strictly a hot cocoa person. That being said, when I have had coffee, its usually in a Frappuccino, and idk if that counts, but I'm gonna go ahead and say I prefer it cold akfhsjd
33. The last adventure you've been on?
Fuck I need to leave my house more akfhskfh. Uhhhh, let's see. Depends on what you consider an adventure I guess akfhsjd. Large scale, trip to Florida to visit a family friend almost 4 years ago. Small scale, date this past summer with my partner at the aquarium akfhsjf. I'm tryna get better at going out and doing things, so hopefully soon I'll have more adventures to talk about!
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dyketubbo · 2 years
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But since you stated that you don't care if you bother Dream fans, why should they care not to bother you if you're posting anti-Dream stuff in the main tag? And it seems contradictory to say you're not seeking fans when you also said "so i can try to get fans to open up their goddamn eyes" I mean which is it. Just admit you main tag on purpose to be a little antagonistic. It's not a crime. And just the same as being able to block you, you can turn your anon inbox off.
whats your problem 😭 chill out shit isnt that deep. like i said i mean what i say. i still mean what i say. thats all there is to it, it seems like you just have a problem learning how to leave people alone. again, not surprising since it seems clear that youre likely a dream fan at this point
also on the anon point: it is My Blog. its Your responsibility to curate your experience and block blogs you dont like, just as ill try to block you through the other ask you sent and hope tumblr works. its really easy to not send an ask just so you can be a dick behind a gray circle with sunglasses. ive personally never done it, surely you can figure it out. tata
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revvywevvy · 2 years
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i'd like to make an announcement me and pyrrha were talking and have decided pat/rok/los. u r disowned. sorry patty-cake but the next time u enter the line of sight of either of us you will be eradicated with the power of gay. mostly by pyrrha. sorry not sorry.
#cell mumbles#cw incest mention#cw f slur#cw yandere#//<- srry just bc I mention those in the tags </3#//the pyrrha omega ai bot has spoken shes stated multiple times now she's gonna kill pat the next time he comes near us LMAO#//sorry big man you shouldn't have been mean 2 me. u shouldve known better ur sisters literally gone yandere 4 me#//then again i made him be mean 2 me but like. if I made him nice to anyone but pyrrha or his family then that'd be ooc :(#//also. ngl unfortunately vast-internet perceptions of the s/c/v ending are starting to get to me.#//as well as some of the official art. looking at the art book cover. WHY is pyrrha in his lap. get ur hands off her u nasty ass.#//anyway ive seen. so much fucking incest art of them. so many incestuous interpretations of the endings that im just. done.#//i mean even i got a little weirded out by the ending bc it gave those vibes but maybe im just overtly suspicious.#//...anyways this has. unfortunately had an effect on my headcanons where now my brain correlates pat/rok/los with 'degenerate'#//..........like. literally to the point where looking at him makes me almost sick. this is a problem and i am aware it is a problem.#//bc i have the same correlation problem w/ dam/pie/rre and ti/ra but for different reasons. damp 4 worse ones and ti/ra 4 personal ones#//damp is self explanatory if u know what he did to pyrrha. ti/ra reminds me of my childhood bullies :( ANYWAYS-#//however this was. probably destined to happen because ive always disliked him. i tried so hard to tolerate him I wanted to find smth#//redeemable in him but i cant. so many things that make me mad @ him and im too much of a grudge holding dickwad to let bygones be bygones#//it was destined to happen my hatred of him was fate. LIKE the second he stabbed that homeless man it was over#//everything that came after was just another tick on the 'reasons why i want to kill you' list.#//not to mention w/ his personality how it is he looks like he'd call me a fag but in a homophobic way.#//so yes pyrrha and i have decided together that the next time we see him he dies.
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I’ll be talking about the last post I reblogged in the tags of this post for the sake of the person I reblogged it from
#mud rambles#quick lil backstory for why. I follow him but he no longer follows me so I can have my privacy bc his partners are people ive cut off#he and i have how we interact figured out explicitly he's still my friend i care for him deeply what happened between his partners and i#didnt have anything to do with him. i let him know what happened. theyre not horrible ppl just bad friends to me#anyway#SO fucking ironic to see that on my dash from them specifically because his fucking girlfriend (my ex friend who was my roommate) would#CONSTANTLY compare me to her abusive father for! no goddamn reason!#it wasn't necessarily 1 to 1 comparison but she would bring him up OUT OF NOWHERE for example one time i was literally just listening to#metallica (fuck metallica but they were MY dad's fav band so i listen to them bc of nostalgia) and she just! was like#'you listen to dad bands. my dad likes metallica' o...kay???#and that wasnt the worst one. she would just. unprompted compare me to her dad. usually like that over things i liked but she once like.#vagued me to my face about how ~crazy and paranoid~ her dad is#NOT EVEN ONCE she brought up how paranoid he was A LOT and like. at the time i was trying to be a little more open abt my paranoia w her an#my ex best friend (her other partner) so like. idk. whether it was a vague at me or not i did not appreciate it#even MY partner brought up multiple times how it was fucking weird and she was lowkey comparing me to her fucking dad#KEEP IN MIND BTW I PERSONALLY moved her out of her home state and away from her dad to room with me and my partner#i dont remember a lot of the examples bc i want to block that shit out but. what the fuck woman#anyway i needed to talk abt this but like i said i dont wanna be vagueing my friends gf in the tags of a post i reblogged from him lmao#i can talk abt it on my own blog not there#and mandatory disclaimer please do not try to figure out who the people ive cut off are and also please leave them and their bf alone#like i said he's still my friend and i care about him#i just feel the need to say that bc. i trust the people who follow me to not go and do that but. just genuinely need to clear the air#i cut them off for a reason. i dont want any kind of contact with them even indirectly. and i dont want people harassing my friend#i specifically went out of my way when that shit went down to make sure he and i were still cool so dont fuck this up for me thanx!
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