#ash sounds off about their blorbos

[thatcontrolfangirl]

which one of these scientists is the worse person

Dr. Emil Hartman

Or Dr. Casper Darling

Debate in the notes, all views are correct.

[isa-ghost]

I need the headcanons, Isa. I need them like I need air. (I also have had very little time to watch QSMP overall, so all of my q!Phil info comes from you) -River

OH FUCK I WASN'T EXPECTING TO GET MULTIPLE ASKS ABOUT THEM. /POS

Here's Headcanon Set 1

NOW MORE

He's an expert at playing stupid. I don't have any actual situations from canon off the top of my head to apply this to, but his wits are sharp enough for him to pull it off when shit isn't explosively hitting the fan

He hates not being able to fly, flying is/was the main way he would de-stress. Nothing makes him feel lighter than the breeze in his feathers and a breathtaking view

This man's commitment to The Bit is so underestimated. If The Bit was a person, it'd be part of his polycule. People just overlook his ability to commit to a bit because he has to personally find the bit worth committing to

Obligatory Shiny Good Crow Brain mention. Why do you think his backpacks need sorting like once every few weeks (though he neglects them for longer than that)? And shiny is not always literal. Sometimes it means flowers or pretty types of wood or a neat mob.

Every once in a while someone can get him to laugh in a way that Almost sounds like a squawk. He doesn't know how it happens, it's like an involuntary snort laugh, but with cawing.

Unfortunately for him, playfully raising his blood pressure (stares at the kids, Tubbo, the polycule, some others) is kinda funny. It's the way he gets louder the more exasperated he gets.

He has 100% slept so hard that he snored loud enough to earn a kick in the side from Chayanne

Speaking of sleep, this idiot will pass out in that wooden chair and then wake up in the morning and bitch about his neck aching as if he isn't the reason it's aching. Lullah especially has roasted him for this

His dedication to Chayanne and Lullah can go unmentioned bc it's just so obvious but I need everyone to understand it's not just how he'd burn the island to ashes for them. It's also how he'd stop mid-tea party with Lullah, Pomme & Co, dressed the whole nine yards in a tutu, tiara & obnoxious amounts of pretend jewelry to beat the ever-loving SHIT out of a threat

At first Irish Goodbyes were unintentional (which is what made them so funny) but now it's become one of the biggest bits he's committed to. This man loves embodying that gif of the dude going ✌🏻 and vanishing.

Lullah totally told him about the Duolingo "It's Spanish or Vanish" meme. It won't leave his head now

Anytime he does the reverb voice or something he is pulling a megaphone out of his backpack and yelling into it

Because I forgot it in the first hc set and it's too funny for me not to include, I must once again tap the sign that says "Phil and Fit fuck nasty behind Fit's gym." Why do you think the shit Fit says like "big boy" gets such a reaction out of Phil? He's heard it elsewhere

He thinks he has too much self-respect to do it but if he didn't, he'd 100% be the dad to dab or whip-nae nae just to make Chayanne and Lullah faceplant on the ground out of embarrassment

Speaking of faceplanting, Lullah is so good at timing when she does it, it absolutely kills Phil every time. It's like one of the Top 5 ways to get him to crack up

Calling back to the Bit Commitment hc: "The 4th Wall" is a bit he made up and won't stop referencing. It's not that he's fail rping in meta, he's getting conspiracy-style existential as a joke and that's why Lullah hates it so much

Stealing this one from my hcs about my angel OC inspired by Phil: If you put him in water, his wings will involuntarily flap like a bird in a bath. It isn't nonstop, it's like a stim he can't help doing every so often.

He loves Rose so much. She instantly makes him feel safe. He regularly has to resist the urge to passionately gush about her to people because he knows they'd be like What The Fuck Are You On About. Rose is blorbo from his brain (little does he know, she isn't entirely)

He likes to pretend he isn't, but he's sentimental as hell. Why do you think he hasn't changed the ugly dirt shack? Why do you think he has so many backpacks of stuff? He's got that crow hoarder brain but he also just attaches to things to easily. Nostalgia and love for history has him in a death grip. Little does he know, it's a trait he's kept from his past

Speaking of his past, until I get canon story explaining otherwise, in my mind he IS hardcore!Phil but the Federation wiped his memory after somehow managing to invite him to the island. The Ender King & Rose's arrivals into qsmp canon are two very different ways of attempting to trigger his memories. What he thinks are dreams are actually those forgotten memories of what he was doing before coming to the island

Okay that's long enough, look out for a third set because I got another ask waiting for more >:)

EDIT: Here's Set 3 :D

[sieglinde-freud]

anyways one thing about me in every run of houses or hopes i play, i cannot kill ashe. its a rule i set for myself in 2019 because at the time, he was my little blorbo bingus fav whatever the hell and even if hes not my SUPER fav anymore, i take him everywhere with me like im a small child with a worn stuffed animal. this works out ok in houses, but everytime i play hopes i save him and my god he sounds like he’d be better off dead. every time i chat with the guy hes like “oh god im a traitor i hate myself dimitri should kill me dead and spit on my grave oh god now ingrids dead and its my fault (he didnt come to that battle)” like BUDDY… im sorry 😭😭😭😭

[solipseismic]

i hope you know that every day i wish i could read your book and really enjoyed reading the nanowrimo tidbits you sent, you should infodump about it 👀

CROW ... this is so so sweet i am kissing u gently on the mouth . also this is great timing bc i am just about to compile a vigilante's guide to knowing when to die into a goog file that i can send to my friend (part of our bargain in me convincing him to do nanowrimo w me this year)

snippet from book 2 for u:

The Rift gave a sudden convulsive shudder. Skysteel felt it all the way to her ankles as it threw her out—and away. She was freefalling before she even knew it, pinwheeling through the air like a shitty paper airplane. Sky-ground-sky-ground-BUILDING passed in a dizzy blur right up until she smacked into a billboard with a comedic sound. She would have laughed, except her lungs seemed to have gone on impromptu strike at the time of impact. It really was a hard-knock life, huh? Black spots swarmed her field of vision. An Avian shrieked at the sight of her and dove, the razor talons of its feet extended fully and bladed wings gleaming in the bright sun. Poltergeist and Eidolon were both yelling something over comms but she couldn’t parse anything—all she could see was the golden light of the Avians surrounding her, all she could feel was the agonizing feeling of the Rift splitting open wider far above her. The golden light of the Avians turned blinding. Skysteel’s secondary eyelids dropped down for a split second. But— That was no fucking Avian. A man shining like a blue sun reached down and gently plucked an Avian off Skysteel’s prone body laying in the ruin of the billboard. One moment his hand closed around its shoulder and the next—it was a still-glowing pile of fine, off-white ash on the ground. “That was stupid,” he said. Skysteel took the hand he offered and heaved herself up out of the pieces of billboard she’d fallen to the ground with. “That’s what I want on my headstone,” she told him, wincing and touching a hand to her ribs.

anyways i rarely talk abt a vigilante's guide (which some of u who have been following for a long time may know under the previous title of "demon city" and / or "demon eyes" and so all the stuff i've posted abt it r under those tags) bc it's like That One Big project for me. like u know how brandon sanderson has the stormlight archive that kind of is the hub / culmination of all his works across the brandonsandersonverse (official term is brandon sanderson's "cosmere")? for me that's vigilante's guide. also it's exceedingly self-indulgent is the other reason.

it's gone through like 50 different iterations bc it's existed in my brain for nearly as long as i can remember (i think over a decade at this point) and the Ira Neda i talk about (my supreme blorbo, if you will) is the protagonist! i have ambitions for it spanning five books with the second (formerly "demon eyes") titled a vigilante's guide to destroying the world but right now books 1 and 2 are existing in the same doc (DEMON MEGADRAFT) because i'm trying to see what gets shaken out of it while i play with a non-linear timeline between the two

as a result, there are a lot of ideas that are getting spun into it (and even more ideas that i've had trial runs of before editing or cutting them entirely) but it's got the run of the mill superhero genre setup: we have a recognizable earth set in the near-ish future / a time that's somewhat similar to our own, we have a bunch of vigilantes running around fighting ordinary crime and supervillains (tho these are mainly just called "terrorists" in-world bc, well.), and different people have different powers from different things (but mostly it's because they're alien / part alien lol)

book one (knowing when to die) follows ira neda's arrival in anehaven, a (fictional) city in new york, where she is trying to unravel the circumstances that led to her twin brother's death several years ago. she promises herself, her family, her friends, and a lot of strangers that she isn't in that vigilante business anymore, if she ever really was: she's retired now. she just wants to live a quiet life (lie) and she doesn't intend to instigate anything (lie) and she is never picking up the mantle again (lie). but anehaven, like ira neda herself, has secrets of its own. the city is alive--and it hungers. people have been disappearing from the streets without a trace for over a year now, more and more with each month that passes. she makes some friends (criminal empress and her two partners in crime as well as ... actual partners), she makes some enemies (her fellow vigilantes) there are three questions now that have no answers: what happens to these people? why does the sidewalk have teeth? and who the FUCK is this other guy calling himself a vigilante?

book two is a little more abstract on account of I Still Haven't Figured out Subplots for it, but it's your stock alien invasion with ensemble cast: here we introduce cori sanchez, the (also) (formerly) retired HUSH, a mirek'ar necromancer; alec iakabos, SOLSTICE, and noah harper, EQUINOX, whom you can think of as "gosh, i really was VERY inspired by wildstorm comics when i was fifteen, huh," if you're familiar with apollo and midnighter from them; along with some familiar faces from the first book--alan and blue wilson (POLTERGEIST and EIDOLON, respectively) and ira neda. names capitalized to make it easier for me to keep track of them lol.

[nirikeehan]

Word Search Tag Game!

I got tagged by @theluckywizard to find five words in my fics and share a snippet from each.

Gasp: from A Fool's Errand, about Thalia and Cullen's failed attempt at getting busy on his desk lmfao

“Right. Um. Hang on.” He rolled to the left, exposing the seam at his side where the two plates of metal fastened with a comically high number of leather straps. Thalia gasped as his weight shifted, pinning her even harder against the desk. The hard mahogany wood dug painfully into her lower back. “Can you reach that?”  “Sure,” Thalia lied, trying not to wince. She wriggled beneath him, struggling to free an additional arm. “Could you stop leaning on my shoulder, please?” 

Blood: from Two Songs; Truth, Sadness, Sacrifice, about a night on the town in Kirkwall gone wrong for Cullen and Samson (featuring THE BOOT KNIFE)

Cullen slammed into him, knocking the boy’s cap off. A second later, he had Quno by the hair, standing behind him with the dagger to his neck. Quno let out a truncated squeal that Cullen silenced by pressing the blade closer to his scrawny throat.  “You’ll consider Samson’s debt paid,” Cullen rasped, “or else—” “Fucking—” Quno held up his arm, another ball of magic swirling in his hand, but Cullen concentrated on the lyrium in his blood and summoned a dispelling force. The spell went out with a hiss, like a torch dropped in a bucket of water.  Only then did Quno understand. Cullen felt the boy’s body tense with terror. “You— you’re a fucking Templar?” 

Gently: from It's Never Sunny in Barovia, my unhinged Curse of Strahd crossover WIP that no one asked for, featuring Metrion from Curse of Strahd: Twice Bitten which everyone should listen to so I'm not flying this blorbo flag alone

Thalia tries to protest, but he cuts her off. “No, no, maybe you’re right, a little bit. Or a lot. I dunno. Fuck. I never wanted to be in this place. It’ll wear you down, break you, faster’n you can run. We been told the devil knows our every move, that it’s all a game to him. That we’ll stay alive as long as we keep things interesting. But I dunno if painting your face would make much of a difference in the long run, if he’s got an eye on ya.”  Metrion sounds mournful, apologetic, as if trying to break bad news as gently as he can. Thalia reaches out, with a pang of sympathy, and touches his elbow through his long overcoat. He freezes, dares to meet her gaze only briefly before averting it again.  “Strahd must have a weakness,” Thalia says. “Everyone does.” How can she explain to him that she once stood down a man who would be god? What’s one more vampiric tyrant, in the face of someone like Corypheus? 

Sky: from Chapter 1 of Through a Glass, Darkly:

The sky hung low like a threat. It pulsated emerald green, punctuated by swirling dark clouds and detritus. His mouth tasted of ashes. The courtyard was choked with dead grass and fallen rock. Cullen blinked at it dumbly. His eyes hurt, even in the dim light. The near-total darkness of his cell had been all he’d known for weeks beyond count. 

Sharp: from the in-progress next chapter of Through a Glass, Darkly:

Some time later, Thalia returned to her tent, a bitter aftertaste lingering in her mouth. She felt a bit off-kilter, but relieved. Blackwall sat where she’d left him, his whetstone sliding along the edge of his blade in long, slow strokes. His eyes were on the fire.  Irritation stirred in Thalia’s chest. “That must be the sharpest sword known to man by now.”  His eyes snapped to her; his hand paused. Thalia felt a strange pang to behold him like this. Terrible memories churned in her mind: Blackwall’s sudden disappearance, his impassioned speech on the gallows in Val Royeaux, the way he’d looked at her through the bars of his cell. This is why I told you we couldn’t be together, he said, with perfect loathing, while her heart rent in two.

Tagging it forward to:

@bluewren | @monocytogenes | @inquisimer | @exalted-dawn-drabbles | @demarogue | @kiastirling-fanfic | anyone who wants to play!

Words for you to find: broken, tooth, stroll, civilization, satisfied.

[hirazuki]

Would you do 2, 4, 7, and 11 for the Tolkien ask game please?

2. If you were the Middle Earth race that your personality most matches, which would it be?

Mmm, so, the race is technically not of "Middle Earth" per se, but honestly? Maiar. I'm too intense for most people, extremely solitary, have difficulty passing as "normal" in conventional society (I can fake it, Annatar-level! But it's exhausting), and have a very complicated relationship with my corporeality that ranges from mildly irritating at best to utter disgust and wanting to yeet out of my body at worst. If I could exist as a thought-form, I probably would! My moods are variable and oftentimes incomprehensible to others, and I am disinterested in the world and disinclined to participate in it outside of my own immediate interests/ends.

4. What passage in Tolkien's books or in any of the films/shows/media speaks to you the most?

There are so many, because his writing is exquisite, but I have to go with:

"What do you fear, lady?" "A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire."

It just strikes a very personal chord, due to what my life up until my late 20s was like. It stuck with me instantly back when I first read LotR as a kid, as it was the first time I had seen this thing I felt that I didn't know how to express put into words, and it's stayed with me ever since.

7. If you could download a Tolkien language into your brain and speak it fluently, which one would you pick and why?

Black Speech! For a couple of reasons:

1. We know pretty much nothing about it -- unless I'm mistaken (too lazy to look things up rn XD), the only full sentence we have is the ring inscription. That is not okay. Way to leave us hanging, Professor. I need to know more.

2. There's been some research theorizing that Tolkien based it off of one or more of the languages of ancient Anatolia -- that's the part of the world my family's originally from, and I spent a great part of my college studies -- including going on two archaeological digs -- on it.

3. ....... I know he meant for it to sound harsh and foul and stuff, okay, I know, but. it just sounds so pleasing to my ears?? Idk what's wrong with me but, nazg? thrak-? ash? SO SATISFYING to say and hear.

11. You can have four Tolkien characters over for dinner. Who do you choose and why?

So, I'm assuming this is a group dinner affair, right? XD

Well, if I and my place are magically immune to harm (or if we're eating somewhere else and I'm not going to be responsible for the damages to the establishment): Melkor, Mairon, Maedhros, and Maeglin, purely on basis of blorbo-ness. They're my top favorite characters of the legendarium. But also, I feel like some really dinner-inappropriate interesting therapy sessions conversations could come out of it. Though it would also involve a great deal of discomfort and chaos but hey, it's not every day you can have characters over for dinner -- might as well make the most of it!

BUT if we're operating by real-world rules and body count/damage is possible, I'd probably go with Maedhros, Maglor, Mairon, and Namo. Maedhros and Maglor have a sibling dynamic that's very familiar and dear to me and I'd love to hang out with them, Mairon and Maedhros have such interesting parallels and I'd love nothing more than for them to just talk, and Namo is my second favorite Vala (I don't talk about him nearly enough -- I should change that!) and I feel like he'd keep the situation under control, plus he may contribute fascinating perspectives on any topics like fate, death, choice/free will, etc. that might come up in conversation.