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(amazing AU) was it hard being trans growing up to be the evil genius you are today?



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I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.



Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.
The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could
#i have never drawn hickey before. its not good but I'm tired.#as always my sketches look better than the final. it's fine. im not annoyed. not at all.#anyway. today? an AU nobody hut me ever asked for and debatably nobody else wants. tomorrow? the same.#thought i was clever for making Hickey's sponsor be a vodka company after Crozier gets sober#could Not come up with a suitable sponsor for JFJ. too tired.#in my head silna is a very competent canadian driver on crozier and jfj's team#goodsir is on the pit crew for silna most of the time. stanley is the lead mechanic#runs their shop like it's the goddamn navy and nobody ever knows if he's happy with things.#blanky is either a manager or the guy to talks to drivers on team radio during races#anyway if i ever do anything like this i plan to have crozier ultimately win a 4th 500#but only after james has a horrible crash that ends his season and many press people think will end his career#just so he can kiss francis at victory circle#look. i have very little to say for myself aside from the fact that i have been going to the indy 500 since i was 7 years old.#almost 20 years ago#and the IMS and indycar is very important to me. one of the few sports i care about and want to follow more.#so. uh. yeah. watch this space bc it will probably keep bothering me bc I Need It.#(also very silly but i tried to make crozier and james's drivers suits have shoulder shapes like epaulettes. i thought that was fun)#again sorry for the quality but i drew all of this in like 4 hours today. i am a woman Possessed.#anyway im gonna crawl back into my cringe hole. see y'all#the terror
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Full Throttle (i)
pairing: ferrari driver!yoon jeonghan x journalist!reader chapter wc: 20.6K (dont look at me)genre: humor, fluff, angst, smut (?) au: f1 au (i am sorry i am a nerd abt this) rating: m (MINORS DNI)warnings: SLOOOOOW BURN. mentions of injuries, car crashes // eventual smut.
PREQUELS: would highly recommend reading On the Record and Off the Record to gain some context into the relationship! This fic starts directly after the end of Off the Record
summary: jeonghan's not used to someone who pushes his buttons as easily as you do, and you're not used to someone who challenges you as quickly as he does. maybe it's time to go full throttle, both on and off the track.
a/n: this one is gonna be long. buckle in. this is dedicated to kae @ylangelegy , who was the one who pushed me to write this in the first place, and also graciously beta read this // this is also dedicated to alta @haologram , who watched me lose my mind over this for so long and gave me so much love and support as i wrote this. // huge thanks to lola @monamipencil and haneul @chanranghaeys for beta-reading and giving me their thoughts, especially about when things were too technical // and finally, an ENORMOUS thank you to jupiter @cheolism for the banner!
read part 2 here! <3
FORMULA 1 ROLEX AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX 2024 Track: Melbourne Grand Prix Circuit
The Australian Grand Prix had come to an end, but the buzz from the race still lingered in the air. The paddock had started to quiet down, though the echo of cheers and the scent of champagne were still fresh. Jeonghan stood at the edge of the pit lane, watching as the last of the mechanics began to clean up, the high of the win beginning to settle into a low hum of satisfaction.
His fingers absentmindedly brushed over his helmet, the familiar weight grounding him after the chaos of the race. But his mind wasn’t on the mechanics or the trophy waiting for him. No, it was on you.
You had walked away with that smug grin of yours, and even now, hours later, the image of you—cool, collected, and far too clever for your own good—lingered in his thoughts. The way you’d turned the tables on him, effortlessly making him feel like the one caught off guard. For once, it hadn’t been about the race or the rumors swirling around his personal life—it had been about you and the way you knew how to press all his buttons without breaking a sweat.
"Dammit," he muttered under his breath, a grin creeping onto his face despite himself. "I should’ve asked her to dinner."
But there was no time for that now. The press was waiting. The fans, too. He needed to play the role of the cool, collected champion for the cameras, the last thing he needed was another round of gossip, another round of teasing from the people who loved to stir the pot. And yet, the thought of you, the way you’d made him feel a mix of frustration and something else entirely, was almost too tempting to ignore.
The crew cheered as he finally made his way back to the motorhome, the world still swirling in a whirlwind of victory and flashing cameras. But inside, it was quieter. More personal.
"Jeonghan!" His manager greeted him with a smile, the kind of smile that signaled the end of a long race and the beginning of yet another whirlwind of interviews, photos, and meetings. But Jeonghan only half-listened as his manager spoke, his mind flickering back to the conversation earlier.
"You sure know how to keep things interesting, don't you?" His manager chuckled, noticing the distraction in his eyes. "The headlines are still buzzing. You planning on setting the record straight anytime soon?"
Jeonghan chuckled under his breath, running a hand through his messy hair. "Let them talk," he muttered, flashing a grin. "It’s part of the game."
But that wasn’t what was on his mind. It was you. The way you’d baited him, just enough to make him feel the heat of the moment. He had never been this distracted by anyone—or anything—before.
"You have a minute?" a voice interrupted his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. It was his publicist, holding a phone in one hand, the other gesturing toward the press conference set up for him in the next room.
Jeonghan looked at her, then glanced over his shoulder as if expecting to see you again. But you were gone, just like that. He gave a small sigh, almost imperceptible to anyone watching.
"Yeah, yeah. Let’s do this," he muttered, before stepping forward. Jeonghan’s footsteps echoed through the motorhome hallway, the thrum of victory still running through his veins, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t shake the way you’d looked at him—those piercing eyes, full of challenge. He'd seen that expression before, but this time felt different. You weren’t just some reporter stirring up a bit of drama—you were someone who knew exactly how to get under his skin.
His publicist was waiting outside the press room, ready to brief him on the upcoming interviews and meetings. "You’ve got a full schedule, Jeonghan," she said, giving him the rundown with practiced precision. But Jeonghan barely heard her, his mind still distracted by the way you’d turned the tables.
"Hey," he cut in, slowing to a stop in front of her. "What do you know about Y/N?" he asked, his tone casual but with an edge of curiosity that hadn’t been there a moment ago.
The publicist blinked in surprise, and beside her, his manager gave a short laugh. "Y/N? You mean the reporter?" the manager asked, voice dripping with amusement. "The one you’ve had run-ins with over the past couple of seasons?"
Jeonghan raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of them. "Run-ins?" he repeated, his lips curling into a small, knowing smirk. "What exactly are you implying?"
The publicist shrugged, exchanging a look with the manager. "She’s been covering F1 for a while, pretty sharp with her articles," she said, keeping her voice neutral. "Some of them have definitely gotten attention, especially that one a few weeks ago... the one about you and the whole ‘mysterious love life’ thing." Her eyes flicked to his manager, who made a face at the mention of that piece.
Jeonghan sighed, running a hand through his hair. He’d tried to forget about that article, but your earlier conversation (read as: challenge) had baffled him. "I shouldn’t have said anything," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. "But you know she always gets a rise out of me, don’t you?"
The manager snickered. "Oh, we know. It’s not every day we get to watch you struggle to keep your cool. She’s got a way with words, that one." He winked. "But hey, I get it. She’s a great reporter—sharp, clever—and always knows where to find the juiciest stories. You just might want to be a little more careful with what you say around her next time."
Jeonghan smirked. "Careful? Since when have I ever been careful?"
His publicist gave a pointed look, clearly not impressed. "That’s not the problem, Jeonghan. It’s that you tend to forget she knows exactly what buttons to push."
Jeonghan chuckled, his eyes glinting with a new energy. "Oh, she’s good, I’ll give her that. But I’m not so easily rattled." His mind wandered back to the way you’d smirked and walked off, leaving him standing there feeling like he'd just been served a dish of his own medicine.
"Don’t underestimate her," the manager added, half-joking. "You’ve been in this game long enough to know, no one gets a rise out of you like that without knowing exactly what they’re doing."
Jeonghan hummed thoughtfully. "I suppose you’re right. But maybe..." He trailed off, eyes narrowing as a plan started to form in his mind. "...Maybe it’s time I gave her a taste of her own medicine."
The publicist and manager exchanged a glance but didn’t say anything. They knew that look—the one Jeonghan got whenever he was plotting something, usually with a dash of mischief and just the right amount of charm to make it impossible for anyone to say no. The same charm that had gotten him into trouble more times than they cared to count.
"You’ve got your interviews now, Jeonghan," his publicist reminded him gently, pulling him back to reality. "We can revisit this later. Just keep your head in the game for now."
He nodded, though his mind was still fixated on you. "Yeah, yeah. Later."
As he entered the press room, he was immediately hit with a barrage of questions. The usual ones about his win, his performance, and his plans for the rest of the season. But even as he answered, his thoughts lingered on you and that damn article. You were always one step ahead, always stirring the pot just enough to keep things interesting. But now, it seemed you had caught his attention for real.
And maybe—just maybe—he was going to have some fun with this.
FORMULA 1 MSC CRUISES JAPANESE GRAND PRIX 2024Track: Suzuka Ciruit
The neon lights of Tokyo cast a kaleidoscope of colors on the bustling streets, the city alive with energy even late into the night. After a long day of prepping for the upcoming race, you’d decided to wind down with a quiet drink in a tucked-away bar that promised a moment’s reprieve from the chaos of the paddock.
The bar was small and intimate, the kind of place that felt like a secret only locals knew about. Jazz music hummed softly in the background, and you found a seat near the corner, ready to savor your drink in peace.
But of course, peace wasn’t in the cards tonight.
“Y/N?”
The familiar voice made you freeze mid-sip. Turning your head, you found none other than Yoon Jeonghan standing a few feet away, his face lit with mild surprise and unmistakable amusement. He wasn’t in his Ferrari team gear for once—just a sleek black jacket and jeans, looking effortlessly casual in a way that somehow made him even more irritatingly attractive.
“Jeonghan,” you replied evenly, setting your drink down. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugged, sliding onto the stool beside you without an invitation. “Same as you, I’d imagine. Taking a break from the madness.” His eyes flicked to your glass. “Whiskey? I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type.”
“And what type is that?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
He leaned back slightly, his lips quirking into that trademark smirk. “The type who drinks whiskey alone in a bar and pretends they’re not thinking about work.”
You rolled your eyes. “Well, you’re wrong. I’m not thinking about work. I’m thinking about how nice it is to not deal with questions about lap times and tire strategies for five minutes.”
Jeonghan chuckled, signaling to the bartender for a drink. “Fair enough. Though, if memory serves, you’re usually the one asking those questions.”
“Occupational hazard,” you shot back. “And if memory serves, you’re usually the one avoiding them.”
“Touché.” He raised his glass when it arrived, a silent toast that you reluctantly mirrored with your own.
For a while, the conversation meandered through safer topics—Tokyo’s sights, the food, the insanity of race week—but there was an undercurrent of something sharper, a game of verbal ping-pong that neither of you seemed willing to let go of.
“You know,” Jeonghan said after a particularly clever jab from you about his less-than-stellar start in Australia, “I think I’ve finally figured you out.”
“Oh?” you asked, amusement dancing in your tone. “Do tell.”
“You act all cool and collected, but deep down…” He paused for dramatic effect, leaning in slightly. “…you love the chaos. You thrive on it.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, though a grin tugged at your lips. “And what about you, Mr. Reigning Champion? Aren’t you the one who said chaos is just part of the game?”
“True,” he admitted with a lazy shrug. “But I like to think I’m more strategic about it.”
“Strategic?” you echoed, incredulous. “You literally said ‘let them talk’ after crossing the finish line in Australia. That’s not strategy, Jeonghan—that’s reckless arrogance.”
He laughed, the sound low and warm, and you hated how it made your chest tighten just a little. “Maybe. But it keeps things interesting, doesn’t it?”
You didn’t respond, sipping your drink instead, determined not to give him the satisfaction of an answer.
Jeonghan tilted his head, his gaze flicking over you with a knowing glint. “This feels familiar.”
You raised an eyebrow, feigning indifference. “What does?”
“Let’s just say you have a knack for leaving me with something to think about,” he said casually, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass.
A flicker of amusement crossed your face. “Still losing sleep over it, Jeonghan?”
He leaned in, his voice dropping low, laced with mischief. “Not quite. But I’ve been wondering if you’re all talk or if you actually mean half the things you say.”
You smirked, leaning back just a little. “And what are you planning to do about it?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Guess you’ll have to find out next time,” he said smoothly, signaling to the bartender and slipping his card onto the counter.
You frowned, catching on quickly. “Jeonghan, you don’t have to—”
“Of course I don’t,” he replied, his smirk growing as he leaned in just enough for his voice to drop, intimate and teasing. “But what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t treat you every now and then?”
“A terrible one,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms.
He chuckled, standing up and adjusting his jacket. “Always so quick with the comebacks.”
You tilted your head, not backing down. “And yet, here you are, still trying to keep up.”
He grinned, leaning down so his face was level with yours. “Oh, I’m not just keeping up, sweetheart. I’m leading.”
With that, he threw on his jacket, turning to leave, but not without one last playful remark. “Enjoy your night, Y/N. And next time…” He flashed a grin over his shoulder, his voice dipping lower. “Try putting that mouth of yours to better use.”
Your mouth dropped open, and you could hear his laugh as you watched him disappear into the neon-lit streets.
Damn him.
The Suzuka Circuit’s air was heavy with anticipation, the disappointment in Ferrari’s garage palpable. Jeonghan leaned against the barrier in the media pen, his crimson Ferrari suit contrasting with the growing dusk. Despite his relaxed posture, the tension radiating off him was hard to miss.
"Yoon Jeonghan," you began, stepping forward with your mic. "P11 today—your first time not making it to Q3 since your rookie season. What happened out there?"
His smile was thin, masking the fire simmering beneath. "Suzuka’s a tough circuit. I put in a solid lap, but in the end, it just wasn’t enough. A couple milliseconds make all the difference."
"Kim Mingyu of McLaren knocked you out in the dying seconds of the session," you pointed out, your tone as neutral as possible.
"Yeah, Mingyu had a great lap," he said, though his smirk betrayed a hint of frustration. "Kudos to him for that. It’s the nature of the game—sometimes you’re the one knocking others out, and sometimes you’re the one being knocked out."
You tilted your head, pressing just a little. "Ferrari’s upgrades were supposed to shine here at Suzuka. Do you think the car—or the driver—fell short today?"
His eyes met yours, sharp and knowing. "Is that your way of asking if I’m losing my edge?"
You smiled faintly. "Just doing my job, Jeonghan."
"And doing it well," he replied smoothly. "I’ll make sure to give you something better to write about tomorrow."
Yoon Jeonghan’s Q2 Knockout: A Sign of Ferrari’s Struggles or a Driver Underperforming?
Your analysis was live before the sun set over Suzuka, dissecting Jeonghan’s performance lap by lap:
"While Ferrari’s SF-24 showed promise in Q1, Jeonghan’s Q2 lap exposed cracks in execution. Hesitant braking into Spoon Corner cost him vital time, and a wide exit through Degner 2 raised questions about his confidence under high pressure. Kim Mingyu’s decisive lap in the McLaren only highlighted the contrast, leaving Ferrari fans wondering if Jeonghan can rebound from this rare stumble."
It didn’t take long for the article to ripple through the paddock—and reach its subject. The article was sharp, critical, with the same bite that you had become a household name for. And Jeonghan read every word.
He must have been an idiot to assume you would be kinder after the way he’d left you gobsmacked a few nights prior at the bar.
You had just wrapped up your interview with Mingyu, the day’s pole sitter, when Jeonghan found you.
"Got a minute?" he asked, voice deceptively light.
You glanced up, startled to find him so close, still in his Ferrari suit, his hair slightly damp from the cool-down lap.
"Something on your mind?" you replied, keeping your tone professional.
He didn’t bother with pleasantries. "That article."
You raised an eyebrow. "Specificity helps, you know."
He chuckled darkly. "The one where you ripped apart my Q2 performance like you’re a technical director." He took a step closer, and for the first time, the calm façade cracked - his smile didn’t reach his eyes. "Hesitant braking? Lack of confidence under pressure? You really think I’m losing my touch?"
"I think Suzuka demands perfection," you replied evenly. "And today, perfection wasn’t what we saw."
He let out a low laugh, shaking his head. "You love this, don’t you? Watching me stumble so you can tear me apart in print."
"Jeonghan," you said, straightening, "if you want me to write glowing reviews, give me something to work with."
"You should’ve mentioned how close I was to Mingyu’s time," he shot back.
"Close isn’t enough," you countered, coolly. "Not in this sport."
His eyes narrowed, and he stepped closer, his voice dropping to a low murmur. "Careful, sweetheart. Don’t let them think you’re this obsessed with me."
"Careful, Jeonghan," you shot back mockingly. "Sienna Hartley might not like hearing you get so worked up over me."
His hand shot out, catching your wrist before you could walk away. "Here’s an exclusive for you," he said, his voice sharp. "Me and Sienna? Not together."
You blinked, thrown off for just a moment before you schooled your expression. "Good to know. Now let go."
He released you immediately but lingered just long enough to murmur, "Don’t think this is over."
The Suzuka chaos worked in Jeonghan’s favor.
When the lights went out, Jeonghan’s start was perfect—clean, aggressive, calculated. By the first corner, he had already gained two places, capitalizing on a sluggish Alpine and threading the needle between a Williams and an AlphaTauri.
The midfield battle was fierce. Suzuka’s notorious esses demanded precision, and Jeonghan attacked them with surgical efficiency, his Ferrari responding like an extension of his own instincts. He overtook the Aston Martin of Lee Seokmin into Turn 11 with a move so bold the crowd audibly gasped.
Each pass felt like a small victory, but it wasn’t enough. The podium still felt miles away. His fingers tightened on the wheel as he navigated the sweeping Spoon Curve, catching a glimpse of the orange McLaren far ahead—Mingyu.
The memory of your post-quali interview slipped into his mind. Close isn’t enough. Not in this sport.
He exhaled sharply, forcing the thought away. Now wasn’t the time. Jeonghan approached Degner 2, the car planted firmly under him. He could feel the wear on his tires but knew he still had grip to spare. He glanced briefly at the digital display on his steering wheel, calculating the gap to the car ahead—P5, the Red Bull of Choi Seungcheol.
As he accelerated toward the Hairpin, your voice echoed in his head again. Hesitant braking. Confidence issues.
His jaw clenched. It wasn’t anger—it was something more complicated. Why did you always manage to get under his skin? He should’ve been focusing on tire wear, fuel management, or his next target, but instead, his mind betrayed him.
He thought of the way you’d smirked during the interview, how your tone had been sharp, almost daring. The way you’d walked away, leaving him with more to say.
Focus. He snapped himself back, braking perfectly into the Hairpin. The slip of attention hadn’t cost him, but it had been close. Too close.
A well-timed pit stop under a virtual safety car catapulted him to P4. He rejoined the track with fresh mediums, slicing through the field with an aggression that stunned even his team.
By Lap 40, he was staring down the rear wing of Kwon Soonyoung—his own teammate. The team’s radio lit up, the pit wall hesitating.
“Jeonghan, Soonyoung ahead on a different strategy. Keep it clean.”
He didn’t wait for a direct order. Into 130R, the fastest corner on the track, he swung to the outside. His car shuddered with the force of the maneuver, but he held his line, leaving Soonyoung no choice but to yield.
“P3, Jeonghan. You’re on the podium now. Great move.”
With only two laps to go, he was in P2, chasing Mingyu, who had a comfortable lead. Jeonghan knew catching him was impossible, but that wasn’t the point anymore. This was about proving something—to his team, the fans, and maybe even to you.
The Ferrari hummed beneath him, a symphony of power and precision. Every turn, every braking zone, every shift felt like redemption. When he crossed the line in P2, the roar of the crowd was deafening, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat.
The media room was packed, buzzing with questions for the podium finishers. You started with Mingyu, still glowing from his dominant victory.
“Kim Mingyu,” you began, “another win for McLaren. How does it feel to catch up to Jeonghan in the driver’s championship?”
Mingyu smiled, leaning into the mic. “It feels incredible. The car was perfect today, and the team did an amazing job. Credit to everyone back at the factory.”
Before you could move on to the next question, Jeonghan interjected from his spot.
“Must feel nice to start up front and stay there,” he quipped, his tone light but pointed.
Mingyu grinned, unfazed. “You would know, Jeonghan. But you kept me looking over my shoulder the whole time.”
The room chuckled, and you shot Jeonghan a warning glance, which he ignored entirely.
Later, when a question was directed at Jeonghan about his race recovery, his response was pointed. "Oh, you know. I’m pretty good at managing tire degradation. And I had a lot of people doubting me on this track specifically, so I had to prove them wrong too."
His gaze locked on yours as he delivered the last line, and the meaning wasn’t lost on you—or anyone else in the room.
Jeonghan barely made it three steps out of the press conference room before Soonyoung intercepted him, leaning casually against a stack of Pirelli tires like he had all the time in the world. The amusement on his face set Jeonghan’s internal alarms blaring.
“What the hell was that about?” Soonyoung asked, arms crossed in mock authority.
Jeonghan blinked, expertly schooling his expression into one of pure confusion. “What was what about?” he replied, his tone dripping with innocence.
“Oh, don’t even try to play dumb with me, Jeonghan. I know you too well.” Soonyoung’s grin widened as he stepped closer, his voice dropping conspiratorially. “You were doing something during that press conference. I’ve never seen you look that smug unless you’re—”
“I was answering questions,” Jeonghan interrupted smoothly, plucking a water bottle from the cooler without breaking his stride. He unscrewed the cap with deliberate calm, taking a slow sip. “That’s what press conferences are for, in case you forgot.”
Soonyoung squinted at him, unconvinced. “Right. And here I thought press conferences were for you to pretend you’re unbothered while delivering backhanded digs at Kim Mingyu.”
Jeonghan barely managed to keep a straight face, though he felt the tiniest flicker of pride. He had been particularly good with his barbs today. Still, there was no way he was admitting that. “Don’t project, Soonyoung,” he drawled. “Not everyone uses media day as therapy.”
Before Soonyoung could retort, a new voice joined the conversation.
“I know what it was,” said Kim Sunwoo, strolling up with the unshakable confidence of someone who didn’t yet understand how much trouble he was about to cause. The young mechanic had a smirk plastered on his face, the kind that made Jeonghan instinctively want to flee.
“You know what?” Jeonghan asked warily, his eyes narrowing.
“That look you had during the Q&A,” Sunwoo continued, leaning casually against a tool chest. “You were staring at her, man. Like, full-on laser focus. It’s like you were trying to send her a message.”
Jeonghan’s grip on the water bottle tightened. He felt his ears heat up but refused to let it show. “I was answering her question,” he said evenly. “It’s called eye contact. You should try it sometime—people like that sort of thing.”
But Sunwoo wasn’t done. “And don’t think we didn’t notice you getting all flustered when Mingyu’s name came up,” he added, his smirk widening.
“Flustered?” Jeonghan repeated, letting out a short, incredulous laugh. “Right. That’s definitely the word I’d use to describe me.”
“Come on, dude.” Sunwoo shrugged, undeterred. “Admit it. You’ve got a crush.”
The words hit like a sucker punch. Jeonghan froze mid-sip, choking slightly as the water went down the wrong way. He coughed, spluttering as Sunwoo and Soonyoung erupted into laughter.
“Alright,” Jeonghan said sharply once he’d recovered, pointing a finger at Sunwoo. “You’ve been spending too much time on TikTok. Get back to work before I have you polishing rims for the rest of the season.”
But Sunwoo only grinned wider, completely unbothered. “Jeonghan’s in loooove,” he teased, drawing out the word in a sing-song voice.
“I said that’s enough,” Jeonghan snapped, the slight pink tinge creeping up his neck completely betraying his forced composure. “Shouldn’t you be tuning an engine or something useful?”
Soonyoung, meanwhile, was doubled over laughing, clearly enjoying himself far too much. When he finally straightened, he clapped Jeonghan on the back. “Hey, don’t worry about it, man. If you need advice, just let me know. I’m great with women.”
Jeonghan groaned, brushing him off. “The day I take advice from you, Soonyoung, is the day I retire. He shoved past them toward his motorhome, muttering under his breath. “Insufferable. Both of you.”
But even as he slammed the door behind him, Jeonghan couldn’t stop the echo of Sunwoo’s words from rattling around in his head.
You’ve got a crush.
He scoffed aloud, shaking his head. “Ridiculous,” he muttered, tossing the water bottle onto the couch. But as he sank down beside it, arms crossed and jaw tight, he couldn’t quite stop himself from wondering.
Jeonghan didn’t want to be here.
The club pulsed with energy, a humid swirl of bodies pressing too close, the bass reverberating in his chest like a persistent headache. Strobe lights sliced through the haze, and the air smelled faintly of spilled drinks and cheap cologne. Somewhere in the chaos, Soonyoung had disappeared, leaving Jeonghan to fend for himself.
He’d been ready to make his exit the moment they walked in, but Soonyoung had insisted. “You need to loosen up, Jeonghan. Let the adrenaline from the race wear off. Have a drink, maybe dance.”Jeonghan had scoffed at the idea, knowing full well that his reason for not wanting to stay wasn’t exhaustion.
No, it was you.
Even when you weren’t in the room, you lingered in his mind like the ghost of a song he couldn’t stop humming. The podium had been a nice distraction. But now, surrounded by the chatter of strangers and the clinking of glasses, his thoughts drifted back to the press conference and the pointed, teasing look you’d given him when he spoke.
And then there was Mingyu—always Mingyu—whose name you’d said with just a little too much warmth. Jeonghan had pretended not to notice, but it had been impossible to ignore.
Shaking his head, Jeonghan pushed through the crowd, determined to leave. He had almost made it to the exit when someone collided into him, hard enough to send him stumbling forward.
“Whoa—watch it!” a voice slurred, sharp with irritation but unmistakably familiar.
He turned, already scowling, but the expression froze on his face when he saw you.
“Jeonghan?” you said, blinking up at him, your voice teetering between surprise and amusement. Your cheeks were flushed, lips curling into a slow smile as you adjusted your grip on the drink in your hand.
“You?” he blurted, his composure slipping for a fraction of a second.
“What are you—?” you started, only to trail off as a giggle bubbled out of you. Shaking your head like you were trying to clear it, you added, “Wow. Small world, huh?”
“I guess so,” Jeonghan said, his tone carefully even, though his gaze lingered on the way the dim light caught the sheen of your hair, the curve of your smile. His eyes dropped to your drink, then back to your face. “Are you drunk?”
“No,” you said, far too quickly, before adding with a sheepish laugh, “Okay, maybe. Just a little.”
The corners of his mouth twitched, threatening to curve into a smile. “Sure looks like it.”
You waved him off with a dramatic flourish, nearly spilling your drink in the process. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be... I don’t know, brooding on a podium somewhere?”
He tilted his head, pretending to be affronted. “I don’t brood. And besides, this is a celebration.”
“Oh, right,” you said, stepping closer. Your gaze softened, and your voice dropped just enough to make the words feel like they were meant for him alone. “The big comeback.”
“Lots of doubters, huh?” you added, the slight slur in your voice doing nothing to dull the edge of your words.
Jeonghan blinked, caught off guard, before a chuckle escaped him. “Well, your article did the talking for you.”
For a moment, you just stared at him, your eyes a little too bright, your smile a little too slow. “What a way to get my attention, pretty boy.”
His breath caught, his carefully built façade cracking for just a second. “You think I’m pretty?”
Your lips parted, but before you could answer, a hand landed firmly on your shoulder.
“There you are!”
Jeonghan looked up to see one of your friends glaring at him as they steadied you. “I leave you alone for five minutes, and you’re... what? Flirting with Yoon Jeonghan now?”
“Not flirting,” you protested weakly, though your lopsided smile said otherwise.
Your friend wasn’t convinced, nor were they interested in his response. They tugged you into the crowd with an apologetic glance over their shoulder. “Sorry about her—she’s had a night.”
Jeonghan stayed rooted in place, his gaze following your retreating figure. His lips curved into a faint smile as your words replayed in his mind.
“What a way to get my attention,” he murmured to himself, shaking his head.
And yet, as he stood there, the thought struck him that maybe you’d already gotten his.
FORMULA 1 GRAND PRIX DE MONACO 2024Track: Circuit de Monaco
The paddock at Monaco was alive with its usual glitz and glamour, the unmistakable hum of anticipation hanging thick in the air. Cameras flashed, team personnel buzzed around, and the harbor glistened under the sun. Monaco, the crown jewel of the F1 calendar, had a way of amplifying everything—victories felt sweeter, defeats more crushing, and the stakes impossibly higher.
Jeonghan, fresh off securing pole position, had his usual air of nonchalance, but the glow of triumph was undeniable. The fans chanted his name; the cameras adored him. Yet as he stepped off the podium erected for the post-qualifying festivities, his sharp eyes caught sight of something—someone—that brought him up short.
You.
You were standing just beyond the throng of journalists, your press badge gleaming under the midday sun. It had been weeks since he’d last seen you, weeks since your sharp quips and piercing questions had filled the air between you like sparks on dry wood.
Those weeks had been… odd, to say the least. You’d been reassigned to cover Formula E, a shift Jeonghan had learned about only after noticing your absence at the paddock in China. He had played it cool, pretending it didn’t matter, but he had found himself seeking out your byline anyway—reading articles that had nothing to do with him or F1, just to feel the rhythm of your words.
Even the searing critiques you usually aimed at him had been sorely missed. It was maddening, really, how much quieter the world had felt without your fire.
Now, here you were again, back in the fray of Formula 1, as though no time had passed. Jeonghan’s expression remained casual, but his stride toward you was deliberate, cutting through the chaos of the paddock.
When he stopped in front of you, his smirk was already in place, a shield against the strange, unwelcome flutter of relief in his chest. “Where’ve you been?” he asked, tilting his head with practiced ease.
You looked up from your notebook, arching a brow at him. “Missed me, Jeonghan?”
“Yes,” he said simply.
The word landed between you like a drop of rain on hot asphalt, its simplicity taking you aback. Your lips parted slightly, caught off guard, and Jeonghan couldn’t help but notice how the sharpness in your gaze softened for a fraction of a second.
But then, as quickly as the moment arrived, he leaned in, his smirk deepening. “Someone had to keep the paddock interesting.”
You rolled your eyes, recovering your composure. “I see the Monaco air hasn’t done anything for your humility.”
“And I see Formula E hasn’t dulled your wit,” he shot back, stepping closer so the noise of the paddock faded slightly.
You shook your head, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “You’ve done not too bad these past few races, huh?”
The comment was offhand, tossed in almost as a formality, but it hit Jeonghan harder than he expected. Compliments—genuine ones—were rare from you, and they stirred something unexpected in him.
Jeonghan blinked, the smirk faltering for just a second before he quickly replaced it with mock arrogance. “Not too bad?” he echoed, feigning offense. “I dominated in China, held my ground in Miami, and destroyed Emilia Romagna. Give me some credit here.”
For all his ego, Jeonghan knew he wasn’t wrong. He’d won China by a jaw-dropping 22.3-second margin, Mingyu so far behind that Jeonghan had time to deliver an entire thank-you speech over the radio before the McLaren driver even crossed the checkered flag. In Miami, even a grueling five-second stop-go penalty hadn’t stopped him; he finished P2 (behind Kim Mingyu, annoyingly) and picked up the extra point for the fastest lap, earning him Driver of the Day. And in Emilia Romagna, he was the clear favorite from the moment the race weekend began. The Tifosi were relentless, their cheers in the grandstands so deafening that Jeonghan could barely hear his engineer’s voice over the radio.
When he crossed the finish line first, the sea of red under the podium roared with such thunderous applause that his ears rang for hours afterward. In just three races, Jeonghan had cemented himself as the best contender for the 2024 World Champion.
And yet, somehow, it wasn’t as sweet without you there to write about it.
“Alright,” you said, meeting his gaze head-on. “You’ve been exceptional.”
The word struck like a sucker punch. For once, Jeonghan didn’t have a clever retort.
"Congrats on pole, Jeonghan," you said, your voice cool but sincere, offering him a small smile. It made his heart skip a beat.
Jeonghan’s lips twitched, amusement flickering in his eyes. "You called me exceptional."
You glanced up at him, closing your notebook with a flick of your wrist. The corner of your mouth quirked into a smirk. "Yes. Now, thoughts on pole?"
He's silent for so long that you politely clear your throat, hoping to cut through the sudden stillness. "Maybe this should be my headline for the day, Jeonghan. Monaco's Maze Leaves Golden Boy Spinning Out."
It's like someone doused him with ice water. His easy, sun-soaked posture stiffens, and the small smirk he'd been wearing evaporates.
You're still a journalist. He forgets that sometimes.
"Why do you do that?" he mutters, voice edged with something unfamiliar—disappointment, maybe.
You blink, caught off guard by the abrupt change in tone. “Do what?”
“That.” He gestures vaguely between you and the notebook tucked in your hand. The lenses of his sunglasses catch the sunlight, but there’s no mistaking the intensity behind them. His gaze pierces, searching for something in your expression. “Bringing the shitty headlines into every conversation."
You arch a brow, tucking the notebook closer to your chest as if shielding it from his line of sight. “Shitty? You mean accurate, Jeonghan.”
His jaw tightens, a subtle movement, but enough to draw your attention. There’s a faint crease forming between his brows now, and you realize it’s not your usual back-and-forth banter. “You know what I mean,” he mutters, voice low and barely audible over the hum of the paddock—the distant rumble of engines, the echo of voices, the clinking of tools in nearby garages.
For a moment, you’re at a loss. Jeonghan doesn’t let things like this bother him—or, at least, he’s always been good at pretending they don’t. His whole brand is carefree charm, a perpetual smirk, and the confidence of someone who knows he’ll always be the center of attention. This feels different.
“You’re upset about a headline?” you ask, genuinely curious now.
“It’s not about the headline.” His tone sharpens, but he stops himself, jaw clenching like he’s swallowing something bitter. He takes a slow, deliberate breath, his fingers brushing over the brim of his cap. When he speaks again, his voice is softer, tinged with something almost vulnerable. “It’s about how you never let up, even when it’s me.”
The admission lands heavily between you, unexpected and disarming.
You shift uncomfortably under the weight of his words, the way they seem to strip away the professional distance you’ve been clinging to. “Why should I?” you counter, keeping your voice steady despite the flicker of doubt creeping in. “You’re just another driver, Jeonghan.”
His laugh is short and humorless, cutting through the charged air between you. “Right. Just another driver.”
There’s something about the way he says it—low, almost resigned—that catches you off guard. The bitterness in his tone isn’t theatrical; it’s real, raw, and so at odds with the image he projects to the world.
You glance at him, searching for the Jeonghan you’re used to—the one who shrugs off criticism with a knowing grin, who always has a teasing retort ready. But for once, he’s not hiding behind a smirk or a cocky quip. He looks tired, the weight of his words pulling at the edges of his carefully maintained charm.
“Jeonghan,” you begin, unsure of what you’re even trying to say.
But he shakes his head, cutting you off before you can find the right words. “Forget it.”
He takes a step back, and it feels like a gulf opening between you. The mask of indifference slips back into place with practiced ease, but you’ve already seen the cracks. “You’ve got your job to do,” he says, his tone clipped and distant. “Make sure you spell my name right in that next ‘shitty headline.’”
You hate the way your chest tightens at his words, hate the instinctive urge to reach out and stop him as he turns to walk away, his figure retreating into the chaotic swirl of the paddock.
But you don’t.
Instead, you grip your notebook tighter, the edges digging into your palm as if the physical discomfort might drown out the ache building in your chest. The buzz of your phone in your pocket snaps you out of the moment. Grateful for the distraction, you pull it out to see a text from your editor: Post-qualifying article. Deadline: 6 PM.
Just another driver.
The words echo hollowly in your mind, unconvincing and painfully untrue.
Because the truth is, Jeonghan has never been just anything to you.
And that’s exactly why this is so damn complicated.
Jeonghan spends the night refreshing his Twitter feed.
He’s not sure what he’s waiting for, honestly.
Maybe it’s the rush of validation that comes from a clever reply, or the sting of criticism that reminds him he’s still human under the helmet. Or maybe it’s something else entirely—something he doesn’t want to name. The applause of the crowd is long gone, and the adrenaline from securing pole position hours earlier has settled into a restless hum. His phone feels heavier in his hand as he scrolls, tapping at random links and skimming comments that veer between praise and criticism.
The article finally pops up, your name bold and unmistakable at the top. His stomach tightens, a sensation he’ll never admit to anyone, least of all you.
He clicks it immediately.
The headline strikes first:
Kim Mingyu’s Risky Qualifying Lap Keeps Rivals on Edge
For a moment, he freezes, his eyes scanning the words again to make sure he didn’t misread.
Mingyu?
Confusion knots his brow as he scrolls down. The opening paragraph is a glowing analysis of Mingyu’s audacious lap—a near miss in the second sector, a masterful recovery in the final corners. The kind of detailed, evocative writing that Jeonghan knows you reserve for stories you care about.
Then, buried halfway through, he finds his name:
“Jeonghan, true to form, delivered a flawless lap to secure pole position. His consistency and precision were unmatched, placing him at the front of the grid for tomorrow’s race.”
That’s it.
No breakdown of his sector times, no mention of the deft control it took to navigate the tight Monaco corners under immense pressure. Just a single, clinical acknowledgment, overshadowed by Mingyu’s second-place drama.
Jeonghan stares at the screen, his thumb hovering over the refresh button. He doesn’t know what he was expecting—a parade in words? A headline with his name front and center?
It’s ridiculous, he tells himself. Pole position speaks for itself. It doesn’t need a poetic article to back it up.
But that doesn’t stop the irritation bubbling under his skin.
He tosses his phone onto the bed with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. His hotel room feels quieter than it should, the distant hum of the city barely seeping through the windows.
He can’t shake the feeling that you’re making a point. That this is your way of reminding him that while he might be the golden boy on the track, he doesn’t get special treatment in your world.
Not in your writing. Not from you.
It’s infuriating.
And yet, a part of him—one he’s unwilling to examine too closely—wants to know why you didn’t write more about him. Wants to know what he’d have to do to make you look at him the way you clearly look at Mingyu.
Not just another driver.
But the one worth writing about.
The morning of the Monaco Grand Prix dawned with the soft hum of engines filling the paddock and the gleaming streets of Monte Carlo radiating under a cloudless sky. Jeonghan arrived early, his customary calm masking the roiling anticipation beneath. Pole position was his—secured with a lap so clinical it had left his rivals chasing shadows. Yet, the sharp sting of your article still lingered, buried beneath layers of pride and annoyance.
By mid-morning, the paddock buzzed with tension. The Monaco circuit—narrow, unforgiving, and relentlessly demanding—left no room for error. Victory here wasn’t just about speed; it was about precision, strategy, and an unwavering mental edge. Jeonghan knew that all too well.
As he suited up, the familiar ritual steadied his thoughts. Helmet, gloves, fireproofs—each piece transformed him into the driver everyone expected him to be. His engineer’s voice crackled over the comms. “Focus on the start, Jeonghan. Turn One is everything.”
He gave a curt nod, stepping into the car. The roar of the crowd was muffled as the cockpit enveloped him. Lights on the dashboard blinked in sequence, a visual metronome syncing with his heartbeat.
The engine roars to life beneath Jeonghan as he settles into the cockpit, the familiar hum of the Monaco Grand Prix vibrating through the seat, up his spine, and into his very bones. His focus sharpens like a blade, the heat of the sun seeping through his visor, but he’s not thinking about the sweat trickling down his neck or the weight of the helmet that obscures his field of vision. He’s thinking of the laps he’s put in, of the sacrifice, the years of work that led him here, to this very moment, pole position in Monaco.
He has no illusions about the challenge ahead. This track has always favored the one at the front, especially when that one is someone as methodical and precise as Jeonghan. It’s not often that the pole sitter falters here. But that’s not what has his stomach in knots. It’s not the track or the other drivers. It’s you. The thought of your words, your perspective, your gaze.
What if this win isn’t enough? What if I’m still just another driver to you?
His grip tightens on the steering wheel, and for a moment, he considers the possibility of failing, of cruising through the race without the sharp, passionate energy that has always pushed him. What if he doesn’t even get the headline he’s chasing? What if all this effort amounts to nothing more than another expected victory, no deeper praise, no recognition?
He blinks, pushing the thought away. He can’t afford distractions. He’s here to win—nothing else matters.
The lights blink, one by one, before finally turning off, and he’s off, the car surging forward into the narrow streets of Monaco, engines screaming in unison. His concentration narrows, the noise of the crowd fading into the background. The first few laps are a blur of tactical moves, maintaining the lead, setting the pace. Behind him, Mingyu is close—too close—but Jeonghan has enough room, enough air to breathe.
The laps tick by, the gaps between drivers stretching and shrinking like the ebb and flow of a tide. In Monaco, you can’t make mistakes. The barriers are close enough to bite, and one slip-up could send everything into chaos. Jeonghan doesn’t think of that, though. He doesn’t think of the press, of his reputation, of the words hanging in the back of his mind.
What he thinks about is the win. The pure, simple joy of crossing that finish line first. He wants to feel the weight of the moment, of the accomplishment, and more than anything, he wants to look up and see you there—see that your words reflect the magnitude of this victory.
He holds the lead through the race, but it’s a quiet victory, one he can feel in his bones but doesn’t fully experience. The lap times are consistent, but nothing spectacular happens. No drama, no surprise overtake, no breathtaking maneuver.
It’s a clean, controlled victory—exactly what everyone expects from the driver in pole position.
By the time the checkered flag waves, Jeonghan crosses the line in first. The crowd erupts in cheers, but Jeonghan doesn’t feel the same rush of emotion. The thrill is absent, replaced instead by a deep, gnawing sense of doubt.
The win is his, but it feels like it’s already slipping away from his grasp.
In the post-race briefing, he sits with his team, nodding as they discuss tire strategies, pit stops, and the things that went right. But his eyes keep drifting to the back of the room, to where you stand, clipboard in hand, scribbling notes with focused intent. Every time he tries to catch your gaze, to make eye contact, you look away, as if determined to keep your distance.
It stings more than it should.
Jeonghan leans back in his seat, the weight of his helmet resting against his neck, the pressure of your indifference pressing down on him. He wants to reach out, wants to tell you that this win—this clean, controlled, expected win—deserves something more. But he stays silent, twisting the words in his mind, unable to voice the insecurity that’s suddenly consuming him.
The press conference follows the briefing, a whirlwind of questions, cameras, and flashing lights. The room is full of journalists, all clamoring for soundbites, all eager to discuss the expected result—Jeonghan, pole position, and now, victory. But Jeonghan doesn’t care about the usual congratulatory remarks. He’s waiting for something more. Something real.
When the article finally drops, hours later, he barely waits before pulling it up on his phone. He knows what it’s going to say, but still, the disappointment claws at his chest as he reads the headline.
Jeonghan Dominates Monaco: Pole Position Translates to Victory
His stomach twists, and he exhales sharply, trying to ignore the hollow feeling that spreads through him. It’s everything he expected—a result that leaves no room for admiration, no room for praise. Just the simple, obvious statement that he did what everyone expected him to do. The race was clean, flawless even, but there’s no depth to the words, no recognition of what it takes to win here, at Monaco, the most challenging track in the world.
The thought gnaws at him.
It’s not enough.
The press conference continues, the cameras flashing, but Jeonghan’s mind is far from the words he’s being asked to repeat. He’s not thinking about the team’s success, about the strategies that worked, or even about the crowd's cheers. His eyes find you across the room once again, but this time, you don't look away. Your gaze is fixed on something—anything—but not on him.
He can’t help but wonder if it’s because you don’t see him as more than just another driver. Just another one of the usual suspects who gets a win when it’s expected. He’s fighting for something more—something beyond the surface. But for now, it seems like that’s something he’ll never get from you.
He’s won Monaco. But in that moment, the victory feels like the hollowest thing in the world.
FORMULA 1 AWS GRAND PRIX DU CANADA 2024Track: Circuit Gilles Villeneuve
The Canadian Grand Prix feels like a blur. The rain starts as a light drizzle, but by the time the race begins, it’s pouring, transforming the circuit into a slippery mess. The slick track glistens under the flood of water, making the circuit treacherous, a spinning wheel of danger. The air is thick with the scent of wet asphalt, and there’s an ominous tension in the paddock, a murmur that hangs in the atmosphere as if everyone knows something bad is about to happen.
You catch sight of Jeonghan on the grid. He’s staring straight ahead, hands clasped behind his back, his posture perfect, like the picture of composure. But you can see it in his eyes—something flickers there, a mix of tension and determination. His car, finely tuned for dry conditions, isn’t built for this. The engineers have done what they can, adjusting the setup, but there’s only so much they can do when the weather turns so violently. You know this track—the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve—is not forgiving, and for someone like Jeonghan, a precision driver who thrives when everything falls into place, this is the worst-case scenario. He’s trying to keep his focus, but you can see the strain on his face, the pressure mounting with every passing moment.
The starting lights go out, and the cars roar off the grid, their engines screaming in defiance of the rain. Jeonghan’s car is sluggish in the first few laps. You see him fighting with the wheel, struggling to keep the car in line, each turn a reminder that the odds are stacked against him. The rain is only getting heavier, and the car, built for speed in perfect conditions, is no longer responsive, no longer the finely-tuned machine he’s so accustomed to. It’s like he’s driving a different car altogether.
As the laps tick by, the race feels like a slow-motion disaster, unfolding before your eyes. Jeonghan’s always been skilled in the wet, but this is different—this is more than just rain. This is a mechanical mismatch, an impossible task to overcome. You watch him push, trying to find any way to make up time, but it’s clear he’s just not able to. The car slides wide through the corners, the back end kicking out as he struggles to maintain control. His frustration is palpable, his jaw clenched, his hands gripping the wheel with white-knuckled intensity.
And then, it happens.
The rear end of Jeonghan’s car breaks loose as he enters Turn 6, and for a moment, it’s a dance of power and precision, a flick of the wheel, an attempt to save it. But it’s futile. The car loses traction, and before you can even process it, he’s in the barriers. The sound of impact is like a gut punch, a sickening crunch that sends a wave of dread through you. The crowd's collective gasp is drowned out by the static crackle of his radio.
“Jeonghan, do you copy?” The voice of his engineer is urgent, panicked, but there’s no mistaking the defeat in it when the response comes through. Jeonghan’s voice is clipped, emotion stripped away in favor of the cold reality.
“I’m out. Car’s done.”
The message is simple, the weight of it crashing down on you. The race is over. Lap 30. The dream, the chance to prove himself in a season that’s been anything but easy, has slipped away, drowned by the rain.
You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. It’s a loss for Jeonghan, but it feels like a loss for you too. Not because of the race itself, but because of the frustration you saw in his face. The disappointment. The feeling of helplessness. It’s all there, and it hits you harder than you expect.
He doesn’t speak to anyone after. He doesn’t go to the media pen, doesn’t stand in front of the cameras for the obligatory interview. There’s no deflection, no distractions. He’s just... gone. You barely see him in the paddock. He doesn’t even go to the Ferrari garage to debrief with his team. He disappears into the background, like he’s trying to erase himself from the scene altogether, retreating into the shadows, avoiding the world that’s waiting to cast its judgment.
And you? You stay away too. The press room feels suffocating, the questions ringing in your ears as you try to focus. You write your piece, a cold, sharp report about the race and Jeonghan’s crash, a clinical dissection of what went wrong. But something feels hollow as you type. The words don’t flow the way they used to. They’re just words, strung together to meet the deadline, to give the readers what they want. It’s not about the story anymore. It’s not about the race. It’s about the loss.
You can’t shake the image of Jeonghan crashing out, of his frustration written in every line of his face, every motion of his hands. You can’t forget the way he looked when he climbed out of the car, shoulders slumped, as if the weight of the world had suddenly fallen onto him. His eyes are distant, like he’s already checked out, retreating into himself. It’s a look you’ve seen before, but it’s sharper now, more pronounced. He’s carrying something, a burden that you don’t understand, a burden you’re not sure you can even help him carry.
But all you can do is write. And even that doesn’t feel like enough.
FORMULA 1 ARAMCO GRAN PREMIO DE ESPAÑA 2024 Track: Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya
The Spanish Grand Prix feels different from the moment you step out of the car, the heat oppressive, the air thick with anticipation and the inevitable tension of the weekend. The usual rhythm of the paddock is off-kilter, heightened by the suffocating summer heat, the burning sun beating down on every exposed surface. The heat is more than just physical; it's palpable in the way the drivers move, in the clipped tones of the engineers, in the quiet buzz of conversation that flickers out like static.
But even through the sticky, heavy air, the tension feels electric—charged, ready to snap. The circuit is a challenge in itself, and the drivers know it. There’s no room for error here—just wide, hot tarmac and the constant pressure of chasing that perfect lap.
You’ve done your best to avoid Jeonghan, kept a comfortable distance as much as possible. But there’s something about the way he carries himself now—an edge that wasn't there before. It’s sharp, biting, and yet there’s an underlying vulnerability that makes everything harder to ignore.
When qualifying results flash up, you’re caught off-guard. Soonyoung is on pole, Mingyu in second, and Jeonghan… Jeonghan is in third.
Jeonghan strides into the paddock after qualifying, his face carefully composed, but there’s a look in his eyes—something sharp, something that makes you hesitate. You haven’t spoken in days, not since Canada, not since he shut you out. You’ve been avoiding him, and he’s been avoiding you, but you both know the silence can’t last forever.
You’re standing near the media area when he approaches, and for a moment, it feels like the world holds its breath. The slight tilt of his head, the way his gaze flicks over your shoulder, pretending not to care, but you see through it.
"Don't do this," he says, his voice tight, but it's not the playful teasing you’ve grown used to. It’s something darker. Something tired.
"Don’t do what?" you snap, your patience running thin. "Pretend everything’s fine?"
His jaw clenches, eyes narrowing. "You’ve been avoiding me. Why? Because of Canada?"
You blink. The question hits harder than you expect, and you struggle to keep your composure. “You expect me to just forget what happened? You were fine after the crash, Jeonghan. You didn’t even bother with the press. I can’t just pretend that wasn’t... anything.”
The words come out sharper than you intend, and for a split second, you regret it. You see the way his shoulders stiffen, the brief flicker of pain in his eyes before he masks it with that carefully constructed indifference.
"Maybe I didn’t want to deal with your harsh words," he snaps, taking a step closer. “Maybe I’m tired of being the perfect driver for you, the one who’s supposed to be good enough to meet your standards. But I’m not—am I?"
Your chest tightens at the accusation, at the sudden rawness in his voice. "You think I’m too harsh? You think I’m just waiting for you to be perfect all the time?" You laugh, bitter and self-deprecating. "That’s what this is about? You crashing out wasn’t because of me. I write the truth, Jeonghan. And maybe the truth is you didn’t have the car for that race. It was out of your control."
His expression darkens, and you see that familiar flash of anger—one you’ve seen more times than you care to admit. "No," he hisses, taking another step toward you. "The truth is, you're so wrapped up in your narratives, you forget that I’m human. You forget that I have feelings too, and that maybe... maybe I wanted to do this for myself, not for some headline or some article. But you... you don’t see me that way, do you? You see me as another story, another fucking headline to dissect. Just another driver."
His words cut deeper than anything else could, and the final crack in your restraint breaks wide open. You can feel the heat rising in your chest, the tightness in your throat, the way your breath hitches.
“You want me to treat you differently?” you bite back, furious, stepping into his space. “You want me to hold your hand and tell you it’s okay every time you fail? Because you’re so tired of being just another driver? Well, you know what, Jeonghan? I am tired. I’m tired of trying to keep this professional, of pretending that I’m not watching the same guy who couldn’t even handle his own crash. You don’t get to demand better treatment from me when you can’t even handle the heat.”
For a moment, neither of you move, and the silence is thick, charged with the weight of your words.
He stares at you, eyes dark, chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. You’re both too close now, caught in this space where words are weapons, and you’re both bleeding out.
Finally, Jeonghan turns away, his expression unreadable, but you can see the tightness in his back, the way his jaw works, like he’s holding something back. "Maybe you should stop writing about me altogether," he mutters, his voice rough, before stalking off, leaving you standing there, heart pounding and chest aching.
For a moment, you stand frozen, caught between regret and relief, between the anger that still simmers beneath your skin and the sudden emptiness that creeps in now that he's gone.
The moment Jeonghan storms off, leaving you standing there with a surge of anger and a pounding heart, you don't realize someone’s been listening. But someone has. The faint click of a camera, barely audible over the sound of your pulse, is enough to make you pause. You turn, instinctively, to see a familiar face from the gossip side of the paddock. It's Soojin, a reporter known for getting the juiciest bits of drama and twisting them into scandalous headlines. She’s got a camera in one hand, her phone in the other, furiously typing something into it with a smirk that sends an uncomfortable ripple through your gut.
Before you can say anything, she’s already gone, blending back into the throng of people milling around the paddock, her steps quick and sure. The damage has been done. You know it, and the prickling sensation in the pit of your stomach tells you that it’s about to get a lot worse.
By the time you’ve made it back to the media center, the storm has already hit. Your Twitter feed is flooded with the words “Trouble in Paradise?”, and the accompanying photos. The images are damning—Jeonghan’s angry face, red with emotion, and your own flushed, furious expression, both of you screaming at each other in the middle of the paddock. There’s no context, no explanation, just the raw emotion, raw enough to sell.
The headline isn’t even what stings. It’s the comments that follow. Speculation, assumptions, and a flood of opinions. Some call it a lover’s quarrel, some assume the worst, but most seem content to paint the picture of two people on the verge of breaking. It’s not just your name that gets dragged through the mud; it’s Jeonghan’s too. Both of you, caught in a perfect storm of emotions and bad timing. The last thing either of you needs.
You try to shut it out, but it’s impossible. The text messages from your editor come through, asking for a statement. Your phone rings with calls from the PR team, from your colleagues, and even from your friends, who all seem to know about the situation before you’ve even had a chance to process it yourself.
And then, just when you think it couldn’t get worse, the email comes. It’s from Ferrari’s PR team, and it’s almost too professional to be true:
Dear Y/N, In light of the recent events surrounding your interactions with Mr. Yoon Jeonghan, we would like to offer you full access to the Ferrari garage for the remainder of the season. This will provide you with the opportunity to write an in-depth feature on the team, showcasing the work and dedication that goes into each race weekend. We believe this move will allow for a clearer perspective on the situation and help ensure that your reporting reflects the true nature of the team and its drivers. We look forward to your continued coverage. Best regards, Ferrari PR Team
It’s a calculated move—a distraction, a chance to smooth things over. And you know it. The message is clear: everything must look fine. Everything must be fixed, packaged neatly for the media and the fans to consume. You’re a pawn in a much bigger game, and they’re making sure you play along.
At first, you think about refusing. You think about how everything feels so wrong right now. About how the image of you and Jeonghan, caught in the heat of an argument, is being used to feed the frenzy. But the PR team doesn’t leave room for argument. You know that declining would only escalate things further, make them harder to fix.
So, you agree.
The access starts almost immediately. They give you a full tour of the Ferrari garage, show you the inner workings of the team, introduce you to the engineers, the strategists, the pit crew. You’re given permission to write about the team’s strategy, their behind-the-scenes preparation, but there’s always a sense that you're being watched—every move, every word.
You can’t help but notice Jeonghan’s absence. Every time you walk through the garage, he’s not there. The driver who once greeted you with a cocky smile and a teasing remark, the one who always found a way to make you laugh, is nowhere to be found. It’s like he’s vanished, swallowed by the thick wall of Ferrari’s PR machine.
It’s as if nothing is real anymore. The false smiles, the calculated interviews, the way the drivers exchange glances with a rehearsed ease. The more you observe, the more you realize how much of this world is a performance, a show put on for the audience, with no room for anything real. It all feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, leaving you with nothing but an empty, fragile façade.
Still, you’re expected to keep writing, to deliver the polished pieces the team expects. You’re supposed to put the headline “TROUBLE IN PARADISE?” behind you and focus on the carefully constructed narrative. So, you do. For now.
But even as you walk the pits, breathing in the scent of burnt rubber and sweat, there’s a quiet ache in the back of your mind. The truth is, you don’t know how much longer you can keep pretending that everything is fine.
Not when you still feel Jeonghan’s words hanging in the air between you, like the remnants of a storm that’s yet to pass. Not when you still want, with everything in you, to be able to fix it.
And maybe that’s the problem.
The crash happens so quickly, so violently, that it almost feels unreal. One moment, the tell-tale red of Jeonghan’s car is cutting through the circuit with his signature precision. The next, it’s a twisted mess of metal and rubber, skidding off the track, his car spinning wildly as Lee Seokmin’s Aston Martin clips him just before the tight corner at Turn 14. You watch it all unfold from the pit wall, your heart stopping for a brief second as the sound of the crash echoes through the air.
There’s a collective gasp from the crew around you, followed by the frantic chatter of engineers and strategists, trying to process what just happened. You can see the smoke rising from the wreckage, and your breath catches when the marshals begin to swarm the car, signaling that Jeonghan is still inside.
The radio crackles to life, but Jeonghan’s voice doesn’t come through. For a second, it feels like time slows down. The pit wall is a blur of motion, but you’re frozen, eyes locked on the track, praying for him to be okay.
Then, finally, the confirmation comes: “Jeonghan is out of the car. He's fine. We'll move him to the medical center.”
A wave of relief washes over you, but it’s short-lived. The weight of the crash—his crash—still hangs in the air, and it’s clear from the looks of the Ferrari crew that no one knows exactly what went wrong. The tension in the paddock is palpable, and as you’re given full access to the debriefing room afterward, the atmosphere is thick with unspoken frustration.
Jeonghan walks in with that same seething expression he had after the crash, and the room goes silent. His eyes are red-rimmed, his jaw clenched, the kind of anger that’s so deep it can’t be shaken by anything or anyone. His usual confident swagger is replaced by a taut, barely contained rage that makes it hard for anyone to even breathe in his presence. His voice, when he speaks, is sharp, cutting through the room like a knife.
“You think this is a joke?” he snaps, looking at his team with a glare so intense it’s almost suffocating. His fists are balled at his sides, his shoulders tense with barely controlled fury.
The debriefing begins, but it’s clear that no one knows how to handle him. His coach tries to keep things calm, but Jeonghan's sharp words only make the tension worse. The rest of the team sits in silence, unsure of what to say, how to fix the situation. His eyes never leave the table, his posture rigid, as though every part of him is fighting the urge to storm out.
The meeting goes in circles—strategies discussed, what went wrong, how to move forward—but nothing seems to land. Jeonghan doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to listen to anyone right now. His frustration is palpable, and it’s clear this crash, this failure, has broken something inside of him.
When he finally stands, his chair scraping harshly against the floor, there’s an air of finality to it. Without another word, he storms out, leaving a tense silence in his wake. No one dares to speak, knowing that anything they say would be pointless. The door slams shut, and the meeting disbands soon after.
But you don’t leave. You don’t really have anywhere to go. Not yet.
You make your way to the Ferrari canteen, your footsteps echoing in the empty corridors. It’s one of those rare moments when you’re not chasing a headline, not following the usual routine, and the monotony of it all feels like a relief. You order two beers without thinking. You don’t need two, but for some reason, it feels right. Maybe it’s the adrenaline still coursing through your veins from the crash, or maybe it’s just the weight of everything—the pressure, the disappointment, the simmering frustration with Jeonghan that you haven’t had the chance to process yet. The beers are cold, the glass bottles slick with condensation, and when you walk outside to the grandstands, you find him.
Jeonghan is sitting alone, his back against the metal railing, the crowd long gone. The air is warm, the kind of summer heat that clings to your skin and makes everything feel a little heavier. His eyes are closed, his head tipped back as he stares at the sky, and for a moment, you wonder if he even notices you approaching.
Without saying a word, you sit beside him, the soft crunch of your shoes against the gravel the only sound in the stillness. You don’t offer him a drink immediately. Instead, you hold the bottles in your hands, feeling the chill seep into your palms, letting the silence stretch between you.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you hand him one of the beers. He doesn’t look at you, but you catch the faintest shift in his posture, a soft hum of acknowledgement as he accepts it, cracking the cap with a quick twist.
“Jeonghan,” you say, breaking the silence, your voice quieter than you expect it to be. He doesn’t respond immediately, his eyes still fixed on the horizon. You take a sip of your own beer, the bitter taste grounding you in the moment. You can feel the tension that’s been building between you both, the weight of the unspoken words, but for now, you can’t bring yourself to make him speak.
Then he does. “Full access, huh?” His voice is rough, the teasing edge to his words gone, replaced by something heavier. The bitterness is unmistakable. “You must be thrilled, getting to see me crash out in front of the entire team.”
You almost choke on your beer. You can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or genuinely hurt, but it stings regardless.
“I’m not,” you say quickly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You wish he would look at you, but he’s staring straight ahead, his jaw still tight, muscles still coiled like a spring. "I don’t want that, Jeonghan. What don’t you get?"
“No?” He tilts his head slightly, but his gaze stays fixed. “I would think Miss Scathing Articles would relish the chance to tear me down again.”
A sharp retort sat on your tongue, but you swallowed it. There was no point. Instead, you looked away, focusing on the distant horizon where the racetrack lay, bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. "I don’t," you said quietly. "I’m not interested in tearing you down. I never have been."
Jeonghan’s laugh was hollow, almost like a scoff. "Color me surprised."
A beat passed between you both, the air thick with unspoken words. You took a sip of your beer, now lukewarm and slightly flat, but it didn’t matter. Neither of you had the luxury of pretending everything was fine anymore.
He finally turns to you, his eyes meeting yours; there’s something in the way he looks at you—raw, vulnerable, almost like he’s waiting for the punchline of some cruel joke.
“I’m sorry,” you say after a long silence, your voice softer this time, barely above a whisper. You’re not sure if he hears you, but he looks at you with an expression that makes you feel like you’ve just stepped into a minefield.
He doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he exhales a long breath, rubbing his forehead with his fingers as though the weight of it all is finally catching up to him. The tension between you hangs heavy in the warm summer air, the quiet hum of distant cicadas filling the space where words should be. Jeonghan takes another sip of his beer, the bottle pressed lightly against his lips as though it might cool the heat simmering under his skin. He looks tired—no, more than tired. Worn down. The type of exhaustion that no amount of sleep could fix.
“You don’t have to apologize,” he says finally, the words coming out uneven, almost like they’re foreign on his tongue. His voice is softer now, missing the sharp edges that had cut into you moments before. “You were just doing your job.”
“Jeonghan,” you start, but he holds up a hand, silencing you.
“No, really.” He forces a thin smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. It’s the kind of expression you’ve seen him use in press conferences—a shield, practiced and perfect. “You’re here because Ferrari told you to be. Because someone thought it’d be a great PR move. You don’t owe me anything beyond that.”
The words sting, even though you know they shouldn’t. He’s not wrong. This isn’t your world, not really. But you can’t help the knot tightening in your chest as you watch him retreat into himself, the walls going up before your eyes.
“I’m not here because they told me to be,” you say quietly, your voice steady despite the lump in your throat. “I’m here because I wanted to be. Because I saw the crash, Jeonghan, and I—” You stop, swallowing hard as the memory flashes behind your eyes again. The twisted metal, the plume of smoke, the moment you thought—
“I was scared,” you admit, your voice cracking slightly. “Not as a journalist. Not as someone with a job to do. As someone who—” Jeonghan’s gaze snaps to you, his eyes narrowing slightly, but there’s something vulnerable there, too, something unguarded.
You don't finish the sentence.
Jeonghan watches you closely now, his beer suspended mid-air, forgotten. The sharpness in his gaze softens, replaced by something else—curiosity, maybe, or an unease he doesn’t quite know how to address.
The air between you feels heavy, suffocating in its quiet. You can still hear the faint echoes of the crash in your mind, the awful screech of metal against asphalt, the split-second horror of thinking you’d just seen him—
He sets the bottle down with a soft clink against the railing, breaking the spell.
“Scared, huh?” His voice is quieter now, and there’s a touch of disbelief, as though he’s trying to decide whether to accept your words or dismiss them.
You nod, throat tightening as you try to push through the lump that’s settled there. “Terrified,” you admit, the word feeling foreign and vulnerable on your tongue. “Not because of what I’d have to write, but because I thought—” You bite down on the rest of the sentence, unwilling to say it aloud.
Jeonghan exhales, long and slow, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he leans back against the railing. “I’m fine,” he says eventually, the words flat and unconvincing. He glances at you, his lips pressing into a faintly wry smile. “A little bruised. A little pissed. But I’m fine.”
It’s not enough to untangle the knot in your chest, but it’s a start. You nod, not trusting yourself to say anything else.
He finishes his beer in a few swallows, the motion oddly decisive, before standing and brushing off his pants. For a moment, you think he’s about to leave without another word, the tension between you both left unresolved.
But then he turns, holding out a hand toward you. His expression is unreadable, but there’s a faint curve to his lips that feels almost... playful.
“Friends?” he asks, tilting his head slightly, his hair falling into his eyes. “If you’re going to be hanging around the garage all season, might as well, y’know?”
You blink at him, taken aback. The man who’d stormed out of the debriefing room in a fit of rage, who’d spat barbs at you moments ago, now stood here offering a truce like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“Friends,” you echo, narrowing your eyes as you take his hand. It’s warm, his grip firm but not overbearing, and for a fleeting second, you wonder if this is another performance—an act to keep you at arm’s length.
But when he pulls you to your feet, there’s something genuine in his expression, something almost relieved.
“You better not make me regret this,” he says, letting go of your hand as he shoves his now-empty beer bottle into your other one. “And don’t think this means you’re off the hook for the shit you wrote.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you mutter, rolling your eyes as he smirks.
For the first time all day, the knot in your chest loosens just slightly. You follow him back toward the paddock, your steps lighter than they’ve been in weeks.
And for now, that’s enough.
FORMULA 1 QATAR AIRWAYS AUSTRIAN GRAND PRIX 2024Track: Red Bull Ring
The Red Bull Ring stretches out before you like a postcard of precision. Nestled in the Austrian hills, the track gleams under the soft morning sun, its curves and straights inviting the first roar of engines. The garage is alive with motion—engineers bent over laptops, mechanics tightening bolts, and the hum of anticipation that comes with any race weekend.
You step into the Ferrari garage, an interloper in a sea of red. Jeonghan’s car gleams in its designated spot, pristine and ready, as though it hadn’t been a crumpled wreck just a week ago. The team works around it like a well-oiled machine, barely sparing you a glance. You’re supposed to be here, technically, but that doesn’t stop the slight twinge of unease as you find a quiet corner near the monitors.
“Back again?”
The voice is unmistakable, light and teasing. You turn, and there he is: Yoon Jeonghan in his fireproofs, the sleeves tied around his waist, his white undershirt faintly clinging to his frame. He looks every bit the picture of calm, like he hasn’t spent the past few days fielding press questions about his crash.
“Didn’t think you’d miss the chance to watch me run into someone,” he adds, smirking as he adjusts his gloves.
You raise an eyebrow. “Is this your way of saying you’re aiming for Aston Martin?”
He laughs, a real laugh this time, and it’s startling how much it changes the air around you. “Not today. But I’ll keep you updated if Seokmin starts driving like a rookie again.”
“Careful, Jeonghan,” you shoot back, crossing your arms. “I might put that in my next article.”
He leans casually against the wall, his dark eyes scanning your face with an intensity that’s become familiar in the past few weeks. But there’s no edge to it today, no armor. Just him, relaxed and—for once—almost easygoing.
“You’re not as scary as you think you are,” he says after a beat, his voice low enough that the hum of the garage nearly drowns it out.
You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop the grin that creeps onto your face. “And you’re not as charming as you think you are.”
He tilts his head, considering this like it’s the most interesting thing he’s heard all day. “Fair. But you’re still here, aren’t you?”
“Purely professional,” you quip, ignoring the way his smirk grows.
Before he can reply, the engineer by the monitors calls him over, gesturing to the screen. Jeonghan holds up a finger, signaling for a moment, then turns back to you.
“Stay out of trouble, yeah?” His voice is lighter now, teasing but not in the way that cuts. It feels natural, like banter between...well, maybe not quite friends. Not yet. But something close.
You shrug, watching as he walks toward his team, the confidence in his stride unmistakable. The tension that had lingered after the crash feels like it’s finally begun to dissolve, replaced by something steadier. Not quite trust, but something adjacent.
As you settle into the corner, notebook in hand, you can’t help but glance at him every so often. On the surface, it’s just another practice session, another day at the track. But for the first time in weeks, it feels like something close to normal.
FORMULA 1 QATAR AIRWAYS BRITISH GRAND PRIX 2024Track: Silverstone Circuit
Silverstone roars to life under a blazing sun, the grandstands filled to capacity with fans waving flags and wearing team colors. The overcast sky has burned off, leaving the track shimmering under the summer sun. It’s one of the biggest stages of the season, and Jeonghan delivers a masterclass in qualifying, the finely tuned Ferrari underneath him responding to every input like an extension of himself. The sharp smell of rubber and fuel lingers in the air, mingling with the adrenaline coursing through his veins.
He’s back.
The final lap times on the leaderboard tell the story: pole position. Ferrari’s garage is electric with celebration, engineers clapping each other on the back, a cheer rising when Jeonghan steps into the swarm of red. His team surrounds him, hands gripping his shoulders, voices shouting praise over the din.
He grins, wide and unguarded, the weight of the last few weeks lifting ever so slightly. Spain and Canada had shaken him, but this—this feels like a reckoning. Proof that the mistakes and setbacks weren’t the whole story.
“Perfect lap, Jeonghan,” his engineer says, beaming as he hands him a water bottle.
He nods in acknowledgment, taking a swig, his heart still racing as he glances around the paddock. The sun is high now, glinting off the sleek curves of the cars lined up in parc fermé. Jeonghan’s gaze sweeps over the crowd, soaking in the energy—until he sees you.
You’re standing just outside the McLaren garage, the vibrant orange of their branding a stark contrast to the reds and blacks of his world. You’re leaning against a barrier, the breeze tugging at your hair as you laugh at something Mingyu says. Your face is so open, so full of light, that it’s almost magnetic.
Mingyu gestures animatedly, clearly in the middle of some ridiculous story, his grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s. You throw your head back with a laugh, and Jeonghan feels a tightness in his chest he can’t quite place.
The joy that had filled him moments ago flickers.
Why does it bother him?
The thought lingers as he watches you, his water bottle dangling forgotten in his hand. Jeonghan isn’t used to this kind of gnawing discomfort. He’s competitive, sure, but this is something else entirely.
Jealousy.
The sun is lower in the sky when he finds you, his long strides purposeful as he weaves through the paddock. The golden hour light makes everything seem softer, but Jeonghan’s mood is anything but. His thoughts from earlier have been simmering, the warmth of victory eclipsed by a frustration he can’t shake.
You’re leaning against a railing, scrolling on your phone when he approaches.
“Shouldn’t you be in the Ferrari garage?” he says, his tone sharper than he intends.
You blink up at him, startled. “I was just catching up with Mingyu.”
Jeonghan crosses his arms, his brow furrowing. “Funny. I thought you were doing a full-access piece on Ferrari, not McLaren.”
There’s something in his voice—an edge that sets your teeth on edge. “I am,” you reply slowly, standing up straighter. “What’s this about?”
He steps closer, his eyes narrowing. “Is that why your articles about Mingyu are always glowing? What, are you sleeping with him?”
The accusation is like a slap, cutting through the air with a harshness that leaves you stunned.
Your expression shifts, disbelief giving way to anger. “Are you serious right now?”
Jeonghan doesn’t respond immediately, his jaw tight. The regret in his eyes is fleeting, buried under the weight of his own misplaced frustration.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you snap, your voice trembling with fury. “It’s always one step forward, two steps back with you, Jeonghan.”
His lips part as if to reply, but you don’t wait for him to dig himself deeper. You storm off, your footsteps echoing against the paddock floor. The sting of his words lingers, but so does the look on his face as you walk away.
Jeonghan stands there, watching you go, the tension in his shoulders giving way to a sinking feeling in his stomach. He knows he’s crossed a line, and the weight of his own stupidity settles heavily over him.
The knock on your hotel room door comes before sunrise, soft but insistent. You groan, burying your face in your pillow before dragging yourself to the door.
When you open it, the hallway is empty. But at your feet sits a bouquet wrapped in crisp white paper, tied with a simple satin ribbon.
Roses. Soft blush pink, their petals perfectly unfurled, paired with delicate sprigs of baby’s breath.
The arrangement is beautiful, almost heartbreakingly so, the kind of bouquet that feels like a story in itself. You crouch to pick it up, your fingers brushing over the velvety petals. The faint, sweet scent of roses fills the air, mixing with the crisp morning chill that seeps into the hallway.
Nestled among the flowers is a small envelope.
You pull it out, your thumb brushing over the edge of the paper as you open it. Inside, scrawled in a slightly messy hand that’s unmistakably Jeonghan’s, are two simple words:
I’m sorry.
You glance down the hallway instinctively, half-expecting to see him lingering in the shadows. But it’s empty, as silent as it was before you opened the door.
You stand there for a moment longer, the bouquet in your arms and the note trembling slightly in your fingers. The apology feels heavier than the flowers, weighted by the memory of his words from yesterday.
He didn’t need to apologize like this, you think. He could have texted, could have mumbled something in passing when you inevitably crossed paths today. But instead, he’d gone to the trouble of figuring out your favorite flowers—roses and baby’s breath, a detail you don’t even remember telling him.
The realization stirs something in you, softening the edges of your anger.
The roses sit on the desk as you get ready for the day, the baby’s breath adding a delicate touch to the arrangement. The card leans against the vase, its two-word apology a quiet presence in the room.
Somewhere in the city, Silverstone is waking up, the air already buzzing with anticipation for the race. But here, in the stillness of your hotel room, you take a moment to breathe, to let the gesture sink in.
Jeonghan’s voice echoes faintly in your mind, the memory of yesterday’s confrontation still fresh. And yet, as you glance at the roses again, the sting of his words begins to dull, replaced by something softer, something not yet ready to be named.
The pre-race buzz was electric. The roar of engines echoed faintly in the distance, a constant backdrop to the paddock’s chaotic rhythm. Mechanics zipped between garages, reporters hustled to get last-minute quotes, and fans outside the barricades chanted their favorite drivers’ names. Amid all this, your footsteps fell heavy against the asphalt, your target in sight: Yoon Jeonghan.
There he was, leaning against the nose of his red Ferrari, his race suit a striking flash of scarlet that caught the sunlight and made him look annoyingly pristine for someone who had caused you so much grief. He was chatting with an engineer, that easy, charming smile plastered on his face like he hadn’t thrown baseless accusations your way less than 24 hours ago.
You marched toward him, purpose sharpening your steps. The bouquet from this morning was still vivid in your mind—blush pink roses, soft and elegant, their delicate petals almost glowing against the green of the baby’s breath, a stark contrast to the seething frustration you still carried. And the note—just two infuriatingly simple words—burned in your pocket, a reminder of the apology you hadn’t quite accepted yet.
“Jeonghan,” you called, your voice cutting through the low hum of conversation around you.
He glanced up, his casual demeanor faltering for a split second when he saw you. Then, like a switch had flipped, his smile returned. “Oh, hey.”
You stopped a foot away, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. “How did you know my favorite flowers?”
His lips quirked into a faint smirk, and he leaned ever so slightly against the car, as if the conversation were a game he’d already won. “Oh good, they got delivered to the right room.”
“Jeonghan,” you said, your tone sharper now, “don’t deflect.”
“Deflect what?” He tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with that infuriating glint of mischief that made you want to throttle him and laugh in equal measure.
“JEONGHAN.” The snap in your voice turned a few heads nearby, but you didn’t care.
He sighed dramatically, dragging a hand through his hair. “Fine. A certain papaya-colored birdie told me.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Papaya-colored birdie... Mingyu?”
Jeonghan hesitated, his grin faltering for just a moment. You saw the gears turning in his head, calculating whether to deflect again or come clean.
“Spit it out, Yoon Jeonghan,” you said, stepping closer, “or I’ll never write a single kind thing about you for the rest of your life.”
His mouth twitched, caught between amusement and resignation. Finally, he shrugged, his voice almost too casual. “Childhood friends, eh? You and Mingyu? That explains yesterday.”
You blinked, thrown by the abrupt shift in topic. “Don’t change the subject,” you snapped, though his words tugged at something in the back of your mind. “You really went to Kim Mingyu for help? After accusing me of—”
“I might have... aggressively encouraged Mingyu to spill everything he knew about you,” Jeonghan admitted, looking entirely too pleased with himself.
You raised a brow. “Aggressively encouraged?”
“Fine,” he said with a huff. “I threatened to steal his steering wheel from the McLaren garage if he didn’t talk.”
Despite your irritation, a snort escaped you. “And he just handed over my life story, huh?”
Jeonghan crossed his arms, mirroring your stance. “What can I say? He’s surprisingly chatty when he thinks you’re in trouble. Very protective, that one.”
You clenched your jaw, the pieces clicking into place. “So, that’s why you jumped to conclusions yesterday. You thought—”
He cut you off, his voice uncharacteristically serious. “I know. I was out of line. That’s what the flowers were for.”
For a moment, the noise of the paddock seemed to fade. The wind carried the faint scent of burning rubber, and the distant cheers of fans reached your ears like a muted hum. Jeonghan’s expression softened, the teasing glint in his eyes replaced by something quieter, almost vulnerable.
“For what it’s worth,” he added, his tone lower now, “I really am sorry.”
You exhaled slowly, the weight of the last day lifting slightly from your chest. “You’re lucky I like roses.”
“I know,” he replied, his grin returning, lighter this time, almost boyish. “Good taste, huh?”
“Good recovery, at least,” you muttered, your lips twitching despite yourself.
Jeonghan’s laughter followed you as you turned and walked away, the sound less grating than it had been the day before. It wasn’t forgiveness—not yet—but it felt like a start.
FORMULA 1 HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX 2024Track: Hungaroring
The Hungarian Grand Prix paddock was buzzing, but you could tell something was off. The sound of chatter and engines felt like distant echoes as you stood by the garage, watching Jeonghan’s Ferrari pull back into its stall after a less-than-stellar FP1. The car’s engine quieted as the mechanics immediately went to work, inspecting it. But it wasn’t the car that caught your attention—it was Jeonghan himself.
He was unusually quiet, his usual cocky confidence buried beneath the furrow of his brow as he stripped off his helmet and gloves. His gaze was focused on the car, but it was clear his mind wasn’t in the garage. He seemed... distant, almost frustrated. The others in the team were busy talking strategy, discussing the data, but Jeonghan barely spoke up during the debriefing. It was strange.
The team finished up, but you noticed Jeonghan lingered near the back, hands on his hips, staring at his car like it had personally betrayed him. It wasn’t like him to be this quiet, especially not after a session where he was so used to being in control. You could practically feel the weight of his thoughts from where you stood.
You didn’t want to be intrusive, but you couldn’t ignore it—something was wrong.
You walked over, careful not to disturb the mechanics who were still busy at work. "Jeonghan," you called softly, stepping beside him. He turned to you, but his eyes didn’t quite meet yours. They were focused on something distant, like he was seeing the track or the car but not really seeing them.
“Everything okay?” you asked, trying to keep the concern out of your voice, but it slipped through anyway. “You’ve been quiet since the debriefing.”
He gave a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m fine.”
You weren’t buying it. You had known Jeonghan long enough to recognize the way he carried his frustration. It wasn’t the kind of thing that could be hidden behind a casual smile, no matter how practiced.
“You sure? You know you don’t have to be okay all the time, right?” you pressed, stepping a little closer. The air around you felt heavy, charged with unspoken words.
Jeonghan exhaled sharply, his fingers digging into his gloves before he slowly pulled them off. He seemed to be gathering himself before speaking. “I hate it,” he muttered, and his voice had a rawness to it that caught you off guard. “Not being perfect. I... I can’t stand it.”
“Not being perfect?” you echoed, surprised. Jeonghan, the ever-cocky, confident driver, admitting that?
He looked up at you then, his eyes intense, as though he was searching for something in your gaze. “Yeah. I know it sounds stupid,” he said with a wry laugh that lacked its usual humor. “But it’s who I am. I’m a perfectionist, always have been. Every little mistake... it sticks with me. I can’t just move on. I think about it. Constantly.”
You watched him, absorbing his words, the vulnerability in his tone feeling like a crack in his otherwise polished exterior. Jeonghan, always so composed on the surface, always teasing and joking, was admitting something deeper now—something more personal.
“Is that why you were so quiet during the debriefing?” you asked, keeping your voice soft.
“Yeah,” he muttered, his gaze flicking to the car again. “I know I didn’t have the best session, but it feels like... like I failed. Like I’m not doing my job right. I could’ve done better.” His jaw clenched as if he were angry at himself.
The silence that fell between you was thick, almost suffocating, and you could feel the tension radiating off him. You hadn’t seen him like this before—not with this level of self-doubt.
“You’re not failing,” you said, your voice firm. “You’re allowed to have bad sessions. Hell, everyone has bad days. But that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s just a part of it.”
Jeonghan glanced over at you, his lips curving into a small, grateful smile. “You really believe that?”
“Yeah, I do,” you said, nodding. “I mean... it’s not all about being perfect. Sometimes it’s the mistakes that push you to be better.”
Jeonghan looked down at his hands, still clutching the gloves, and you could see the gears turning in his mind. “I know. But it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“I get it,” you said, crossing your arms and leaning against the side of the garage. “But you’ve got a whole team behind you. And we all know what you’re capable of. You’ll get there. It’s just one session.”
He finally met your gaze, his eyes softening. “Thanks.”
There was a long pause, the sound of distant chatter and the hum of the paddock filling the silence. You were so used to Jeonghan’s teasing and cocky attitude that this quieter, more introspective side of him felt like a different person altogether. And maybe it was—it was the side that wasn’t the driver who fought for every fraction of a second on the track, the side that just wanted to be good enough.
“It’s not stupid, you know,” you added quietly. “Caring about being good at what you do isn’t stupid. It’s just... exhausting sometimes.”
Jeonghan laughed lightly, the sound a bit more genuine this time. “You have no idea. But I’m getting better at... handling it. I think.”
You smiled at him, feeling a strange sense of relief wash over you. There was still that hint of unease in his posture, the tightness in his shoulders, but for the first time all day, he seemed a little more at ease with himself.
As you turned to leave, you shot him one last look. “Just don’t be so hard on yourself next time, okay?”
“I’ll try,” he said, a faint smile tugging at his lips. And for a moment, you almost believed him.
The stands were eerily quiet now, a stark contrast to the roar of the crowd just hours earlier. You wandered through the empty paddock, your steps unhurried as the hum of the night settled around you. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear the faint clatter of the Ferrari team packing up, but Jeonghan wasn’t with them.
You’d seen him after the race, his jaw tight as he climbed out of the car. Finishing P5 wasn’t bad by any measure, but it wasn’t what he wanted. And with Mingyu overtaking him in the Driver’s Championship by just twenty points, it was clear Jeonghan had taken it as a personal blow. His disappointment hung around him like a shadow.
It wasn’t hard to guess where he’d gone.
Sure enough, when you climbed up into the grandstands, there he was. Sitting alone in the middle row, still in his Ferrari race suit, unzipped to the waist to reveal his black base layer. His hair was tousled from the helmet, his posture slouched, shoulders hunched as though the weight of the day hadn’t yet left him. Beside him were two bottles of beer, one already open and resting loosely in his hand.
You approached quietly, but Jeonghan didn’t flinch. He didn’t even turn around when you reached him, your feet crunching softly against the debris of the crowd—discarded programs, empty wrappers, and forgotten flags. He must’ve known it was you, though. He always seemed to know.
“Mind if I join you?” you asked, your voice breaking the stillness.
He finally glanced up, his expression unreadable. “It’s a free grandstand,” he muttered, gesturing to the empty seats around him.
You slid into the seat next to him, the cool metal chilling through your clothes. Jeonghan’s gaze returned to the track ahead, where the floodlights illuminated the ghost of the race. He took a sip of his beer, silent.
For a while, neither of you spoke. The quiet stretched, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable—just heavy. You could feel the frustration radiating off him, the bitterness that came with being so close but not close enough.
“You should drink this before it gets warm,” he said suddenly, pushing the unopened beer toward you.
You picked it up, twisting off the cap with a small smile. “Thanks. Not exactly the post-race celebration you were hoping for, huh?”
He huffed a humorless laugh. “Not exactly.”
The silence fell again, but this time you weren’t willing to let it linger. You turned to him, watching the way his fingers tapped restlessly against the neck of the bottle. “You’re still in the fight, you know,” you said gently.
Jeonghan’s lips quirked, but it wasn’t a smile. “Doesn’t feel like it.”
“Well, you are,” you insisted. “Three points. That’s nothing. You’ve come back from worse.”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he tilted his head back, looking up at the dark sky above the track. “You don’t get it,” he said finally, his voice quieter now. “It’s not just about the points. It’s about everything. The mistakes, the pressure... the expectations. It’s like... like I have to prove that I deserve to be here. Every single time.”
“You do deserve to be here,” you said firmly, the conviction in your voice enough to make him turn to you. “You wouldn’t be in that seat if you didn’t. You’re one of the best drivers on the grid, Jeonghan. Everyone knows it. Even Mingyu. Especially Mingyu.”
Jeonghan scoffed, a flicker of a smile breaking through his stormy expression. “Bet he’s loving this right now.”
“Maybe,” you said, leaning back against the seat. “But knowing Mingyu, he’s probably already plotting ways to rub it in at the next race.”
That earned a laugh, small but real, and the sound was enough to make you smile too.
“You’re good at this,” he said after a moment, his tone softer now. “Talking me off the ledge.”
“Someone has to,” you replied with a shrug. “And honestly? I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. One race doesn’t define you, Jeonghan. You’re not just a number on the leaderboard.”
He looked at you then, his gaze lingering. There was something in his expression—gratitude, maybe, or something deeper, something you couldn’t quite name. “Thanks,” he said simply, the word weighted with more than just appreciation.
You clinked your bottle against his. “Anytime.”
The two of you sat there for a while longer, the weight of the day slowly lifting as the quiet of the night wrapped around you. It wasn’t much, but it was enough—for now. And as Jeonghan leaned back in his seat, his lips curving into the faintest of smiles, you knew he’d be okay. Eventually.
You took another sip of your beer, the chill of the bottle grounding you as Jeonghan’s earlier tension began to melt away. The ghost of a smile still lingered on his lips, and for the first time since you’d climbed up to find him, his shoulders seemed lighter.
“So,” he said, breaking the quiet, his voice tinged with a familiar mischievousness, “what’s your headline going to be this week?”
You raised an eyebrow, scoffing softly as you bumped his shoulder with your own. “You’ll see it when you see it, Yoon Jeonghan. No spoilers.”
His chuckle was low and warm, a sound that felt like the first crack of sunlight after a storm. “Should I be worried?”
“Always,” you replied, the corners of your lips quirking upward. “But maybe not too much this time.”
He gave you a curious look, his expression halfway between wary and amused, but he didn’t press. Instead, he leaned back, his gaze drifting back to the track. The night was calm now, the weight of the day’s disappointment tucked into the folds of shared silence.
The headline hit Monday morning, and Jeonghan had to admit, you’d delivered once again.
Ferrari Falters in Hungary: Yoon Jeonghan's Fight for the Title Tightens
The article was incisive, as sharp as he’d expected. You broke down his struggles in FP1, critiqued his race strategy, and even called out the overtaking move that cost him crucial points. It was the kind of detailed, no-nonsense analysis you were known for, and Jeonghan read every word with a mix of frustration and admiration.
But at the bottom, tucked beneath the last paragraph, there was a footnote—barely noticeable unless you were looking for it.
“Despite Hungary’s setback, Yoon Jeonghan remains one of the most popular and formidable contenders for the championship. With only twenty points separating him from the lead, Belgium offers a more than fair chance for the Ferrari star to close the gap and reclaim his momentum.”
Jeonghan blinked, then read it again, a slow smile tugging at his lips. He leaned back in his chair, the paper still in hand, and shook his head.
“Subtle,” he muttered, though his tone was anything but annoyed. It was gratitude, warmth, and a flicker of hope all wrapped together in a single word.
He might have faltered in Hungary, but you’d reminded him—the season wasn’t even half over. And maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t fighting alone.
FORMULA 1 ROLEX BELGIAN GRAND PRIX 2024Track: Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps
The weekend at Spa began like a dream.
The legendary Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps was a driver’s haven and a monster in equal measure. The longest track on the calendar, its 7 kilometers of asphalt wound through the lush forests of the Ardennes, combining high-speed straights, sweeping corners, and the unpredictable challenges of its microclimate. The iconic Eau Rouge and Raidillon dared drivers to go flat out, while the downhill plunge into Pouhon tested their courage and precision. It was a place where skill separated the good from the great.
Jeonghan thrived on its challenge.
FP1 and FP2 were his playgrounds, his Ferrari gliding through corners like it was made for this circuit alone. The car was responsive and balanced, every adjustment in setup shaving precious milliseconds off his laps. Jeonghan pushed it to its limits, feeling every bump and curve beneath him as if Spa’s asphalt were an extension of himself.
By the time he returned to the garage, his name was at the top of the timesheets, and his team wore expressions of pride and relief. Engineers crowded around him during the debrief, their excitement palpable. Even Mingyu wandered over to toss a mockingly impressed, “Don’t get used to it, Yoon,” in his direction.
Jeonghan, basking in the buzz of dominance, had only winked.
But then came the penalty.
A breach in power unit regulations—an unavoidable technicality that slapped him with a grid penalty. It was frustratingly bureaucratic, a punishment that felt out of his control and yet deeply personal. His pole position was stripped away, and he was relegated to P10.
In the Ferrari garage, Jeonghan leaned against the back wall, arms crossed, the weight of his helmet heavy in his hand. The rhythmic hum of power tools and bursts of chatter around him did little to soothe his simmering frustration.
It wasn’t just the penalty—it was the sting of perfection slipping through his fingers, a weekend that had started flawlessly now teetering on the edge of disappointment.
He glanced up, ready to bury himself in the chaos of the paddock, and froze.
You were there, leaning casually against the pit wall, chatting with one of the mechanics. The glow of the overhead lights caught in your hair, and despite the whirlwind of activity, you were a picture of calm. Your hands moved as you spoke, animated yet confident, the faintest flicker of a smirk playing on your lips.
His gaze lingered.
It hit him—a memory of your words from Hungary, your unwavering belief cloaked in sharp wit: “A more than fair chance to close the gap.”
For the first time since the penalty, the gap didn’t feel insurmountable.
He didn’t realize he’d been staring until you caught his eye. Your brows rose, and you tilted your head in mock curiosity before excusing yourself from the mechanic and walking toward him.
“You okay?” you asked, your voice laced with a note of amusement and something softer underneath.
Jeonghan shrugged, plastering on his signature cocky grin. “Since when are you worried about me?”
Your lips twitched in a barely concealed smile. “Oh, I’m not worried. Just curious. I wanted to see how Ferrari’s golden boy handles a little adversity.”
His grin faltered for the briefest moment before sharpening again. “Keep watching,” he said, leaning in slightly, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. “I might surprise you.”
You tilted your chin, your expression a blend of challenge and intrigue. “Don’t disappoint me then.”
The way you said it—like you meant it—sparked something fierce in him.
As you turned to leave, the faint scent of your perfume lingered in the air, anchoring him to the moment. Jeonghan watched you disappear into the paddock, your confident stride a sharp contrast to his brooding, and for the first time that day, a smirk tugged at his lips.
It wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.
P10 to P1.
It was the kind of race drivers dreamed of—the kind that earned its place in highlight reels for years to come.
The chaos began even before the lights went out. Rain had threatened all morning, dark clouds heavy over the Ardennes, but it held off just long enough to keep everyone guessing. Jeonghan sat in his Ferrari on the grid, surrounded by cars that had no business being ahead of him. He’d spent every second since the penalty recalibrating his mindset, shifting his frustration into fuel.
As the lights went out, his singular focus kicked in.
Turn 1, La Source: Jeonghan dived inside, threading through a gap that barely existed. The radio crackled with his engineer’s voice, commending his clean move, but he barely registered it. Eau Rouge and Raidillon loomed ahead, their uphill sweep demanding precision, bravery, and trust in his car.
He took the corners flat out.
By Lap 5, Jeonghan was in P7. His mind churned as he studied the cars ahead, each one a problem to solve. Every braking point, every shift in weight through the curves—it all required perfect execution.
But then came the rain.
It began as a drizzle at Pouhon, the light sheen on the track turning treacherous by the next sector. Jeonghan’s grip on the wheel tightened as he adjusted his lines, feeling for every ounce of traction.
“Box this lap for inters,” his engineer instructed.
“No,” Jeonghan replied, his voice steady. He could feel it—the balance of risk and reward. He stayed out one lap longer, the gamble paying off as he overtook two cars struggling on the wrong tires. When he finally pitted, the stop was flawless.
By Lap 20, the red flag came out, the rain too heavy for safety. Jeonghan sat in the pit lane during the suspension, helmet off, sweat beading his brow. His thoughts wandered for the first time since the race began.
Your words came back to him.
"Jeonghan’s perfectionism is both his weapon and his curse. When he is at his best, he’s untouchable. But the question remains: can he handle the pressure when the odds aren’t in his favor?"
His jaw tightened. You were right—about the pressure, about the way he held himself to standards so high they sometimes crushed him. But you’d also written something else.
"A more than fair chance to close the gap."
He wasn’t sure why, but that sentence anchored him.
When the race restarted, Jeonghan was a man possessed.
Sector by sector, he clawed his way through the field, each overtake cleaner and bolder than the last. At Blanchimont, he overtook Soonyoung in a move that was half instinct, half calculated risk. His engineer’s voice came over the radio in a disbelieving laugh: “Mate, you’re insane!”
By the final lap, he was leading. The roar of the crowd blended with the steady beat of his heart as he crossed the finish line, victory his once more.
The pit lane was a blur of celebration. His team engulfed him in a sea of red, their cheers drowning out even the din of Spa’s loyal fans. Soonyoung appeared out of nowhere, throwing an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulders.
“Winning in Spa from P10? You better believe I’m buying the first round,” Soonyoung declared, grinning despite his P2 finish.
Jeonghan laughed, the sound ragged and raw from effort, but his mind wasn’t entirely in the moment.
Later, in the quiet of the motorhome, when the adrenaline had settled and exhaustion was creeping in, Jeonghan pulled out his phone. His thumb hovered over the search bar before typing your name.
The article was already live.
His breath caught as he read your headline:
From P10 to Perfection: Yoon Jeonghan’s Masterclass at Spa
It was glowing, but in your unmistakable style—balanced, sharp, and honest. You praised his overtakes, his strategy, and his ability to rise under pressure. Your writing was like poetry, an ode to his resilience, his precision in the rain, his ability to claw victory from the jaws of defeat. But what caught him off guard was the final line.
"With the championship fight closer than ever, it’s not a question of if Jeonghan will close the gap. It’s a question of when."
Jeonghan read it three times, his chest tight with something that felt almost like pride.
For the first time in weeks, he allowed himself to believe them.
The bass thrummed low and heavy, a pulse that seemed to reverberate straight through the packed room.
Jeonghan leaned against the bar, his drink in hand, his racing suit long since replaced by a fitted black shirt with the top buttons undone. The sleeves were rolled just enough to expose his forearms, the dark fabric clinging to his frame in a way that effortlessly commanded attention. Around him, the club buzzed with post-race energy—drivers, engineers, and team members alike reveling in the victory and chaos of the day.
Soonyoung was next to him, buzzing with his usual infectious energy. Jeonghan caught snippets of his teammate’s banter, but his mind was elsewhere.
“God, Jeonghan, if you stare any harder, she’s going to spontaneously combust,” Soonyoung teased, sipping his drink with a knowing smirk.
Jeonghan blinked, startled. “What?”
Soonyoung rolled his eyes, nodding toward the dance floor. “Her. You’ve been staring at her like she’s a particularly tricky apex all night.”
Jeonghan followed his gaze.
There you were, dancing with a group of Ferrari engineers, the colored lights spilling across your frame, making your skin glow. You laughed at something one of them said, your head tilting back, your hair swaying with every movement. Jeonghan’s grip on his glass tightened.
“You’re hopeless,” Soonyoung said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Just go talk to her. Or better yet, dance with her. God knows you’ll make everyone else jealous.”
Jeonghan scoffed, setting his empty glass down on the bar with a sharp clink. “You’re imagining things.”
“Sure, and you just happened to spend the past ten minutes glaring at the poor guy she’s dancing with.”
Jeonghan shot him a warning glance, but Soonyoung only grinned wider.
“Look, you’ve already won at Spa,” he added, leaning closer. “Might as well take another victory tonight.”
Jeonghan shook his head, but the heat in his chest betrayed him. He cast one last glance at you before downing the rest of his drink and pushing off the bar.
The crowd was a blur of movement, bodies packed tightly together under the pulsing lights, but Jeonghan moved with purpose. He found you easily, your energy magnetic even in the chaos.
The beat shifted as he approached, slowing to something deeper, sultrier. He stepped in behind you, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from your skin.
“Enjoying yourself?” he murmured, his voice low and warm against your ear.
You turned slightly, glancing at him over your shoulder. Your lips curved into a teasing smile, your eyes dancing in the dim light. “Jeonghan. Didn’t think you were the clubbing type.”
He smirked, his hand brushing lightly against your waist. “I make exceptions for special occasions.”
You arched a brow, leaning back into him just enough to blur the line between teasing and inviting. “Special occasions, huh? Like winning at Spa?”
“Something like that,” he said, his voice a touch quieter now. His fingers rested lightly on your waist, the heat of his touch sending a shiver up your spine.
You turned to face him fully, your hands drifting up to rest on his shoulders, playful and almost casual. “So? What’s it like being untouchable?”
He chuckled softly, his gaze flicking from your eyes to your lips and back again. “You’d know,” he said smoothly, “if you were paying attention during my races instead of writing snarky articles.”
You laughed, a soft, melodious sound that made his chest tighten. “I did pay attention,” you countered, leaning in slightly, your lips barely a breath away from his ear. “You were alright, I guess.”
“Alright?” he repeated, feigning offense. “You called it a masterclass. Don’t think I didn’t read your article.”
Your grin widened, the fire in your eyes matching the teasing edge in your tone. “Oh, that? Don’t let it go to your head, Yoon. I still expect a proper interview.”
His hands shifted to your hips, grounding you against him as he swayed slightly to the beat, his voice dropping to a husky murmur. “Careful. Keep talking like that, and I might start thinking you actually like me.”
“And if I did?” you teased back, your voice soft but no less challenging.
For a moment, the world around you fell away. The music, the lights, the press of the crowd—it all faded as the space between you closed. Jeonghan’s eyes lingered on your lips, his heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the adrenaline of racing.
Then, just as you tilted your head, leaning closer—
“JEONGHAN!”
The moment shattered.
Sunwoo’s voice boomed over the music as he appeared out of nowhere, the mechanic’s grin wide and oblivious. “Bro, come on! You can flirt later! Dance with me!”
Jeonghan groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder as your laughter spilled over him like warm sunlight.
“This isn’t over,” he muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.
You pulled back, still laughing, and met his gaze with a wink. “I’ll hold you to that.”
FORMULA 1 HEINEKEN DUTCH GRAND PRIX 2024Track: Zandvoort
The paddock at Zandvoort was always one of Jeonghan’s favorites. The smell of fresh sea air mixed with the unmistakable tang of fuel and rubber, while the orange-clad crowd painted the stands in a fiery glow. Jeonghan didn’t even mind the noise—something about the Netherlands had a way of energizing him.
He was walking back from the driver’s parade when he spotted you outside the Ferrari hospitality tent, a coffee in hand, your eyes scanning the throng of people with practiced ease. The crisp breeze tugged at your hair, and Jeonghan slowed his pace, his lips curling into a familiar smirk.
You glanced up just in time to catch him staring. “Don’t you have a race to focus on?”
“Don’t you have an article to write?” he shot back, his voice smooth as ever.
“I’m multitasking,” you replied, raising your coffee in a mock toast.
Jeonghan stepped closer, close enough that the conversation felt private despite the bustling paddock around you. “Let me guess,” he said, crossing his arms, “today’s headline is, ‘Ferrari Driver Jeonghan Looks Extra Handsome Under Dutch Sunlight.’”
You snorted, barely suppressing a laugh. “Oh, please. I was thinking more along the lines of, ‘Can Ferrari’s Yoon Jeonghan Deliver After Spa Masterclass?’”
“Flattering,” he mused, tilting his head. “I thought you’d save the sarcasm for the post-race write-up.”
“I aim to keep you humble,” you said with a shrug, though the playful glint in your eyes gave you away.
Jeonghan leaned in slightly, his voice dropping just enough to send a thrill down your spine. “Careful. You’re starting to sound like a fan.”
You opened your mouth to retort, but before you could get a word in—
“Jeonghan!”
A voice cut through the tension like a knife. You both turned to see Soonyoung jogging up, waving enthusiastically. “There you are! We’re late for the strategy briefing!”
Jeonghan sighed, the corners of his mouth twitching as he glanced back at you. “Guess we’ll have to finish this later.”
You grinned, your eyes dancing with amusement. “Don’t let me keep you from your briefing, Ferrari’s golden boy.”
Jeonghan’s smirk deepened. “I’ll see you after I win.”
He walked off, Soonyoung talking his ear off as you watched him go, the heat in your chest lingering far longer than it should have.
The race came and went, and though Jeonghan didn’t win—Mingyu’s dominance at Zandvoort was almost an inevitability—he still managed to bring home a solid podium finish.
Later, back at the hospitality suite, you found yourself standing near the balcony, staring out at the ocean waves in the distance.
“Not bad for a day’s work,” came a familiar voice behind you.
You turned to find Jeonghan leaning casually against the doorway, his hair still damp from the post-race shower. He’d swapped his racing suit for a simple white shirt and jeans, but somehow, he still looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine.
“Not bad,” you admitted. “Though I was expecting a win. Should I change the headline to ‘Close, but Not Quite’?”
Jeonghan’s laugh was low and smooth as he closed the distance between you. “I think you’re just trying to rile me up.”
You tilted your head, feigning innocence. “Is it working?”
He stepped closer, close enough that you could see the faint freckle on his cheekbone, the way his lashes caught the light. “You tell me.”
The air between you crackled, your banter giving way to something heavier, something unspoken. For a moment, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you.
“Jeonghan!”
The door slammed open, and Mingyu’s booming voice shattered the moment.
Both of you jumped, turning to see the taller driver grinning sheepishly. “Uh, sorry. Team dinner’s starting soon, and they’re waiting for you.”
Jeonghan’s jaw tightened, but he plastered on an easy smile. “Of course they are.”
Mingyu left as quickly as he’d come, leaving you and Jeonghan alone again.
“Do people just have radar for this?” Jeonghan muttered, raking a hand through his hair.
You laughed, the tension easing slightly. “Maybe it’s the universe telling you to focus on racing.”
He stepped closer again, his voice dropping to a murmur. “Or maybe it’s telling me I’ll just have to try harder.”
Your pulse quickened, but before you could respond, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway.
Jeonghan sighed dramatically, stepping back with a rueful smile. “Guess I’ll have to settle for third interruptions.”
You smirked, folding your arms. “You’re consistent, at least.”
“Don’t forget it,” he said with a wink, his voice smooth as ever as he walked away.
And just like that, you were left alone, the waves crashing in the distance as you wondered how long this game of cat and mouse could last.
another lil a/n: full throttle is probably one of my favorite things i've EVER written and i am so proud of myself for getting this out of my head and onto the page.
#seventeen#svt smut#jeonghan smut#svthub#jeonghan x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#keopihausnet#seventeen smut#jeonghan imagines#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan x you#svt x you#seventeen x you#jeonghan scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan angst#svt fluff#svt angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#jeonghan fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen fanfic#tara writes#svt: yjh#thediamondlifenetwork
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Catalyst
so in my au which i'm totally not using to cope or anything haha, after realizing that curly isn't going to do anything about jimmy, anya confides in swansea and he goes Protective Dad Mode. i'm calling this the "Responsibility AU." ramble below cut.
swansea doesn't immediately go after jimmy with an axe or anything because 1. they're not in a high stress life/death crash situation and 2. anya specifically requests that swansea not enact violence upon jimmy after swansea says, and i quote, "i'm gonna beat his ass." anya just wants to feel safer and more supported on the ship—she doesn't want swansea to get in trouble even if jimmy does deserve to get destroyed by 10000 punches.
what swansea can do is watch out for anya and make sure she's never alone in a room with jimmy. if there's a situation where she has to be alone with jimmy (like the psych evals), she and swansea have a system where she can signal for help. with anya's permission, swansea asks daisuke to help look out for her too (without telling him the details as to why since that's anya's right to share or not). daisuke has already picked up at this point that something is wrong based on how much more hostile swansea's become towards jimmy, and he trusts his boss, so he agrees without much question.
anya, feeling less alone now that she has people watching her back, gains more confidence to stand up to jimmy. which makes him angry because his unwanted advances are being denied and swansea and daisuke keep getting in his way. he just can't understand why he's being treated as the bad guy here (this is because he is a delusional asshole).
meanwhile curly is slowly realizing that he needs to actually do something here because the tension in the crew is palpable and increasing by the day. also swansea is being mighty passive aggressive to him and talking about "responsibility" a lot. curly keeps trying to talk to jimmy about it but the guy just keeps downplaying it and blaming everyone else but himself. and curly is realizing that his friend isn't who he thought he was.
it all comes to a head one day when an angry jimmy tries to confront anya alone and swansea steps in. things get heated, people start yelling. curly show up to see swansea and jimmy on the verge of fighting with anya and daisuke trying to hold them back respectively. curly breaks up the fight. jimmy storms off. curly follows him and finds him trying to get the gun from the case in the cockpit. curly asks him why he's doing this and jimmy claims it's for his own protection because he feels "threatened by swansea." he tells curly to give him the code. curly, the sheer wrongness of the whole situation hitting him, finally calls jimmy out on all his bs. jimmy just laughs in his face, still believing that he's not in the wrong and curly doesn't have the guts to do anything anyway. so the captain fires him on the spot. jimmy snaps and he and curly get into a fight in the cockpit. jimmy is trying to crash the ship and curly is trying to stop him. then the rest of the crew show up and anya knocks jimmy's ass out with the gun case. swansea is so proud.
they throw jimmy in the cryopod so they don't have to worry about him pulling anything else and he can be properly dealt with once the stupid delivery is over. everyone's like, "wow that was a close one—could you imagine how messed up it would be if we ended up in a crash because of jimmy? thank god that didn't happen." curly makes swansea the copilot until they can get a replacement and swansea's like, "goddammit as if i don't already do enough shit around here."
anyway my whole goal here was to get rid of jimmy early so i can have beautiful Found Family shenanigans in space with the rest of the crew. apologies and healing and happy times will happen. no the whole getting laid off thing doesn't happen. no i don't have an explanation for it. sorry for the essay.
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Hear me out, Original Nice x Hero Lin Ling.
Takes place during episode 1, Miss J was able to catch up to Nice and stop him from committing suicide, and let him some time to recuperate because Nice is still suicidal. (Lin Ling doesn't take over as Nice.)
Miss J forces Nice to be on True Love's Recipe (Enlighter still takes over as host), and was about to tell the truth about not being Moon's boyfriend when something crashed into the studio, interrupting the show.
It's the rank 14 hero, The Commoner (Lin Ling), and his nemesis, The King (an OC I just made up). They were fighting outside the studio when The Commoner punched The King into it.
Miss J, Moon, and Nice are somewhat relieved that they were interrupted. The King tried to take Moon hostage, but Nice interfered and was captured instead. (Think of the wedding scene from episode 2 where Moon wanted Wreck to kill her, but now it's Nice with the King.)
The commoner, unaffiliated with the Treeman Corporation, still knows that Miss J will chew his ear off and possibly lower his trust value if Nice dies.
Awesome fight scene occurs, The King gets frustrated and commands Nice to kill The Commoner. (The King's main power.*) Nice, under The King's command, tries to kill The Commoner, but with the right words, inspires Nice to break free from The King's command.
But Nice was floating high in the air when he broke free from The King's command. Since breaking free from The King's command takes a lot of energy, Nice falls from the sky.
The Commoner jumps up and catches Nice. Nice, tired and hazy from being under the King's powers, he sees The Commoner with a white light behind him. (A studio light broke and was shining on him.)
"Is he my guardian angel?" Nice thought, as he gets flustered. "His dark brown hair, with a white streak, shines so beautifully in the light. He still has the light in his stunning brown eyes, so innocent."
"Are you okay?" The Commoner asked Nice. Nice, flustered, nodded, not even daring to speak. Luckily or unluckily, depending on who you ask, the camera crew was still rolling, capturing the scene of The Commoner princess carrying the flustered Nice.
The Commoner placed Nice on the couch while he beat up The King. The Commoner does his fighting, defeating The King, but because of his status, he knew that he would be free soon.
After the fight, he bids Nice and Moon goodbye and takes The King into custody. Nice, his face still red, lovingly waves goodbye to The Commoner.
After the fight, clips of The Commoner saving Nice and Nice lovingly waving bye to The Commoner goes viral. It raises their trust values, making Nice, rank 12, and The Commoner, rank 11.
Because the clips went viral, people began shipping The Commoner with Nice. Shipping wars broke out: NiceMoon vs. NiceWreck vs. NiceCommoner. People noticed similarities between Nice and The Commoner, stating that they were soulmates because of them.
Treeman Corporation tried to wait it out, but as time passed, Nice x The Commoner became even more popular. Eventually, they contacted The Commoner's agency to see what could be done.
(In this AU, Lin Ling got signed by the guy who created FOMO in episode 4.) Instead of forcing The Commoner to do what the company wants, they let him have some autonomy over himself and his brand.
Treeman Corp. pays Lin Ling to have The Commoner to spend time with Nice in public. "A bromance." Miss J says. Lin Ling agrees, and a friendship between The Commoner and Nice blooms.
They fight together sometimes; they train together sometimes. The announcements of Nice and The Commoner planning to enter the top 10 (separately) came out one after the other.
Of course, it's all for publicity. Lin Ling likes Nice, but to him, it's platonic; it's work. But for Nice? Oh, he's fallen hard for Lin Ling.
Edits, fanfics, fan art, and everything else—Nice has seen them all. Nice knows the public wants Nice to date The Commoner, and for once, he agrees. Treeman is hesitant; some fans still want Nice and Moon together.
But Lin Ling refuses. He absolutely refuses to date Nice. Nice only knows The Commoner, the hero, not Lin Ling, the real him. Even though his hero persona and real self are similar, Lin Ling hides things from the public, hence the differences between his hero and real personality. (Like Moon in episode 2. She has her hero side and her real self separate. But Lin Ling only hides small things unknown to the public.) Only after knowing the real Nice, does Lin Ling also develop feelings for Nice.
This could go either way. Yandere Nice, doing everything he could to get Lin Ling to agree to date; Nice pining after The Commoner, getting to know Lin Ling, doing acts of service for him to make Lin Ling agree to date.
OR Nice is pining after The Commoner, but X is pining after Lin Ling. (The Commoner and Lin Ling literally look the same, but their personalities differ.)
Just some food for thoughts. :)
*The King is basically an OC villain I created on the spot. He is a wealthy and powerful socialite. His main power is commanding one person at a time, who must then obey his orders. I think he could be a real villain/nemesis for The Commoner, or his hero agency could stage fights with The Commoner without his knowledge.*
#tbhx#凸变英雄x#to be hero x#nicest#original nice#tbhx nice#tbhx lin ling#tbhx the commoner#🜲Diadrabbles
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Hello , I'm Anya, I'm a nurse at Pony Express and I'm here to answer your most burning questions...
//OOC: Asks are now open! Please treat the Tulpar Crew as real people- respectfully. They don't know what will happen, and neither do you. The setting , time in the timeline, will be revealed as more questions are asked.
Keep in mind that this blog has mature themes that may deal with heavy subjects, . Viewer discretion is advised. Specifically topics about abusive behavior, sexual assault, body horror, emetophobia , ableism and alot more uncomfortable topics. I will try my best to present these as respectfully as possible, and not attempt to sugarcoat nor romanticize them. Mod is 19 years old ^^
AU INFO: This is canon divergent, and is actually set post crash with a few things different:
-They all share one laptop on slow internet and therefore have access to the internet.
- Curly is only semi burned, but is semi-verbal due to shock.
- Jimmy is now captain. Curly "stepped down" to co-captain.
-Anya is the protagonist of this story.
-There is now a cat on board.
-Curly was not able to inform them of the company letting them go.
-This is 2 weeks after the crash.
(You can direct lore/AU questions to the mod, @nakakabaliw ^^)
Do's/Don'ts
DOs
-You are allowed to joke/flirt with the crew but dont be freaky!
-You can ask for other crew members.
DON'TS
-Do not ask questions that they wouldnt have a clue what is (i.e: What the cargo holds, Jimmy's true self), it will be revealed eventually.
-Roleplaying sadly wont be accepted, this is purely an ask blog with its own story. (But i will be open to collabing with other ask blogs perhaps!)
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'still wakes the deep' au
prompt: You're an environmental scientist conducting research on an off-shore oil rig with only a few days left before you're slated to leave. The eldritch creature they accidentally awaken throws a wrench in the works. Trouble Brewing masterlist
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“Shit,” you huff, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms over your chest, annoyance bleeding into your words as your frustration finally comes to a boil.
“What’s th’ matter?” Roper, another rig worker, asks. He’s taken to sitting with you in the lounge whenever his breaks line up with yours, one of the few men to not treat you with barely concealed disdain. You can't deny that it's nice to have company.
“Nothing—I think I may have accidentally contaminated the samples. None of this looks right.”
By this, you mean the papers spread out on the coffee table in front of you—print-outs of the water sample analyses. You’ve been staring at them for far too long, eyes practically burning after your tenth consecutive read through.
Almost everything in the sample analysis looks off. The alkalinity, the pH, the temperature, the CO2 and H2S levels—even the microbiological parameters are far exceeded. At some point, you must have accidentally contaminated the samples; only in a worse case scenario, such as a massive oil leak, would you expect to see numbers like these, and you would know if that were the case. It would be immediately obvious not only by the distress spreading like a miasma through the rig, but simply by looking at the water crashing against the jacket legs beneath you.
There’s something else too. Something in the samples that you’ve never seen before—almost like a faint iridescence to the water, a shimmer so light that it’s almost not perceptible to your eye.
So it can’t be that. You must’ve done something wrong when collecting your samples from the discharge point. It’s frustrating to know that the work you’ve done so far has been basically for nothing, seeing as how you’ll have to do it all over again in order to get a fresh batch of samples, but you just remind yourself that these things happen. It could always be worse.
A reminder of that appears right before your eyes when a guy on the other side of the lounge opens his trap and says to Roper, “Ye hear about MacTavish?”
Your ears perk up. Roper must notice because he just grins. “Na—what happened?”
The other man whistles through his teeth. “‘Twas a shit storm. Heard about it from O’Connor.”
“Och, spit it out, will ye? Quit keeping us in suspense.”
“A’richt, just dinnae tell him ah tellt ye—‘ah swear he’ll take someone's head off at this rate.”
The men whisper and titter about it all afternoon—how MacTavish got dragged into the rig manager’s office and ripped into over some offshore antics (fightin’—near broke a guy’s jaw for mouthing off tae him, one crew member tells you surreptitiously, again reinforcing the gossiping hen opinion you’d already formed of them). You’re not exactly shocked by the news, but the quiet that comes over the rig in his absence is a bit jarring.
Coming across him in the aftermath of the incident is, however, far more shocking.
You see him first from across the mess scowling into his food, a dark cloud hanging over him. His usual roguish countenance is swapped for something more choleric, foul-tempered. It’s incongruous with the image you have of him in your head, the one that sees him as eternally cheery; cocksure and braggadocious.
Roper warns you in no uncertain terms to give Soap a wide berth if you happen to come across him.
You cock a brow at that. “You think he’d hurt someone?”
“Na, tis nae like that. It wasn’y his fault that someone else wanted tae have a pissing contest. The lad’s just got an ill temper is all. He’ll gallus aff eventually—juist best nae tae git in his way until then.”
No sense in trying to decipher what he means by that. You have a job to do anyway and the issue with your samples weighs far more heavily on your mind than Soap’s bad mood.
Still, you recognize it as a distant cause for concern. Every so often it dawns on you how far you are from civilization—out in the middle of the North sea, surrounded by nothing but waves and men with voracious appetites. You grit your teeth and bear a lot as it is; unsavory comments and blatant stares, the kind of thing that registers as an ever present, unsung threat that you are impelled to ignore lest it be mentioned. Lest it be given a name.
Soap’s bad mood might not be something you have to worry about, but still you acknowledge that you should probably keep your distance for the time being. At least until his pride is mended and he’s back to his old self.
These days, you’re never allowed what you want though.
You’re around the bend of a hallway when you hear him coming, his distinctive thick brogue snapping at another crew member. Though your heart immediately starts pounding against your chest, there’s nothing you can do; the corridor behind you is too long to run back down without being seen and there aren’t any rooms to sneak into and use as cover. All you can do is stand there with your heart in your throat as he gets closer and closer.
The sharp dogleg in the hall keeps him from seeing you until he’s already on you, nearly plowing into you before catching himself at the last minute, a big hand slamming against the wall beside you to stop him mid-step. You flinch despite anticipating him.
“Jesus, bonnie, I didn’y see ye there. Make a bit o’ noise or somethin’,” Soap says, more brusque than he’s ever spoken to you before.
“Sorry,” you mumble, attempting to sidestep him.
“Ach, wait, ‘ah dinnae mean tae snap. Where are ye off tae?” he asks, stepping with you to the right so that you can’t pass around him. He’s quick enough that you walk straight into him, crushing your nose against his chest and wincing when you take a step back and wriggle it out. A hand clamps down on your shoulder to keep you from scurrying off any farther.
“Um…I have some things to do.”
“Things?” he repeats, waiting for you to elaborate.
“I have work. Didn’t mean to get in your way.”
“Ah’m no’ an animal, bonnie; ye dinnae have to run off jus’ because ah’m in a mood.”
“I’m not running off—I really do have work to do, Soap. That’s why I’m here, remember?” You realize that he must like it when you get snippy with him because the second you do, his lips stretch into a grin, blue eyes glinting.
“Want some help?” he asks.
“Um…”
Irritation clouds his expression. “Ah’m no’ gonna flip out if that’s what yer worried about. That shit with Rennick had nothing tae do with my work.”
That shifts the guilt around in you and gives it a bigger hole to wedge itself in. “…Sure. I guess I could use a hand.”
“Now, ye aren't just asking tae make me feel better, are ye? ‘Cause ah’m a big boy; I willnae cry if ye let me down gently.”
“Oh my god, Soap, do you want to help me or not?” you snap.
His grin widens, a new little mischievous furl to it. “Well, ye dinnae have tae beg, bonnie. Ah’d be happy tae help ye out.”
Of course it was nothing but a ploy for him to rile you up and get you to be the one to ask for help.
Back to the discharge point to collect fresh water samples. Soap doesn’t stop talking the whole walk, the onslaught of questions about your personal life and his own life offshore enough to make your ears ring. No chance of peace and quiet—not with him around, anyway.
On your way up a flight of stairs, you peek back at him to find him climbing with his hands on both railings. You’re not sure if it’s to keep you from slipping away or to keep himself stable, but if you were a bettor, you know which you’d pick.
Soap grins toothily up at you. You roll your eyes in response and turn back around, climbing up the last few steps. The ocean’s ever tempestuous winds howl in the distance.
For all your initial reluctance to let him help you, he proves to be a pretty useful assistant, helping you flush the sample point beforehand and then holding your equipment as you carefully fill and cap each sample bottle.
He’s such a help in fact, that part of you feels a bit guilty for the way you treated him earlier. Like a ticking time bomb. Wouldn’t you also be upset after being told off by your boss? You have the luxury of not really reporting to anyone on the rig—so long as you send your boss daily updates on the progress of your work and follow safety and security regulations on the rig, you never worry about being reprimanded. Certainly not yelled at.
You’re also surrounded by strangers for the most part, which, while sometimes alienating, also means that you’re not particularly invested in what anyone has to say about you. These aren’t your coworkers. In a couple weeks’ time, you’ll be flown back to shore and you’ll never see any of them ever again.
The walk back to your room-cum-office is different. Soap follows behind you quietly for a change, your additional samples in hand, and only the sound of his steel-toed boots clanging against the floor remind you that he’s still with you. You didn’t think he had it in him to stay quiet for so long.
He follows in after you when you reach your room, not bothering to wait outside like anyone with common sense would. It would be more aggravating if he weren’t so handsome. It’s hard to look at him and hold on to any real anger though.
“I—uh—I’m sorry you had a rough day,” you finally manage to blurt out.
He must eye you dubiously because you can feel the weight of his gaze. Not like he doesn’t understand what you’re referring to, but more like he doesn’t quite trust your sincerity.
“Ah must’ve been bonny crabby for ye tae apologize for that asshole,” he teases. You can tell through the joke that even now his pride is a little stung that you brought it up at all.
If his temper weren’t so volatile, you might actually be tempted to spend more time with him. You have to shake that thought away as soon as it comes to you though; you won’t be on the rig for much longer anyway.
“What’d you do anyway?” you blurt out, immediately thinking better of your words when Soap’s face darkens, nostrils flaring the slightest bit. “Sorry, that was—don’t answer that.”
“Nah, it’s no’—” he pauses, sucking air in between his teeth. “It’s no’ a secret or anythin’. Got myself mixed up in some bad shit, but it’s over, ah swear. Told Rennick that it wasnae anythin’ tae worry about, but he gave me hell anyway.”
“He seems like a dick,” you say in consolation.
“Aye,” Soap laughs.
He waits until you’ve packed all your samples away before opening his mouth again.
“Ye ken what would really make me feel better, bonnie?”
You glance over at him suspiciously, bracing yourself for something crass. You can feel it brewing—the culmination of days worth of purred words and heady glances, his interest so blatant that ignoring it feels almost pointless. He lays it on thick enough that you’d have to be blind not to have picked up on it.
So, it catches you off guard when instead of making a licentious comment, he just sighs, “Ah could really use a hug.”
That’s—that’s a bit more reasonable than what you had anticipated. Surprising enough for you to lower your hackles and turn to face him.
He holds his arms out in invitation, face expectant. That nearly makes you cringe before you catch yourself. You’ve been caught in this trap before—your tentative kindness leveraged for physical affection; pushing your boundaries at the first sign of weakness, like waging a siege on you—and even though your teeth itch with the urge to snap at him, it just doesn’t feel worth it. Easier just to capitulate and give what he wants. Just this once.
Besides, it’s just a hug.
His arms fold around you the second you step into them, constricting around your waist like two steel bands holding you in place. He hugs tight too, not an inch of space between your bodies, your breasts flush with his chest. Toes practically scraping the ground, lifted up by the strength of his arms.
The blood rushes to your head. Weak kneed. It’s almost a blessing that Soap’s arms are holding you up. Every inch of your body feels electrified, nerves spitting hot fire; even your scalp tingles when he rests his chin on your crown. You don’t like to think about it—how little anyone touches you these days and how starved your body is for it. Even offshore, you haven’t dated in so long that it seems almost incomprehensible now that you’ve ever dated anyone before.
He groans into your hair, lost in his own head. One of his hands curves up and around your back until it cups over your shoulder, anchoring you even tighter to his chest. You can feel the bulge of every muscle, the tensile strength vibrating under his skin, and it’s only then that you realize that he’s shaking.
The other thing you can’t ignore is the weight of his dick pressing into you. Your eyes bulge when you realize you can feel it thicken with blood against your belly. Even through the material of his pants, you can tell that it’s big.
“Christ, bonnie,” Soap whines, pulling you somehow even tighter to him, nearly cutting off your breath. “Yer so fucking soft.”
“Soap—” you squeak. “Okay, I think that’s—I’ve—I’ve got work to do—”
You tense when his free hand drifts down your back and settles right over your ass.
“Soap—” you hiss, then yelp when his hand drops even more and his fingers into a soft, fleshy cheek and he grinds his hips into your belly. You’re not sure if he’s even aware of what he’s doing, his hug devolving into something coarse and almost sexual.
You reach a hand up to grab him by the jaw and push his head away, struggling feebly in his hold until his arms finally give a little and you’re able to wriggle out, scampering back until you’ve put some distance between the two of you.
When you meet Soap’s eyes, you have to fight the urge to flinch. It takes him a second to regain control of himself, slack-jawed and hungry-eyed until he blinks and it starts to melt away. His chest heaves with his ragged breath. He looks every bit like a man that just got kicked out of bed before finishing, dick still hard in his pants.
“Sorry, bonnie. Ah got a little carried away,” he says apologetically, eyes so round that they almost make him look puppyish.
“It’s fine.”
It’s not fine. You’re still shaky and your thighs are suspiciously damp and you’re fairly sure all the blood in your body has rushed to your face because your cheeks feel like they’re on fire, but you also don’t want to acknowledge the obvious. The outline of his dick straining against his pant leg. The dark flush on his cheekbones and his glazed over eyes. The way you have to fight the urge not to stare at the fabric of his jumpsuit tight around his thighs and biceps.
“Ah’ll, uh…ah’ll see ye later then.” He takes a step back, then another, waiting maybe for you to say something. For you to tell him that it’s alright to stay.
You smile tightly instead, ignore the urge to call him back to you. Your smile only drops when he closes the door behind him.
There’s trouble brewing. You can feel it swelling up like a wave, ready to crash into you.
Under you, you can feel the rig shift with the water and in the distance, something howls.
#ceil writing#cod x reader#soap x reader#soap x you#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish x you#soap/reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader
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the tulpar's very own "mom" & "dad."

i sent an anon message to a user (iykyk 🫣) about the reader dating curly while being a co-captain/pilot alongside him. they're seen as the mom and dad of the group because of their positions as leaders, and daisuke claimed they both had major facebook mom energy. definitely not self-projecting.
the two rolled with it, but discovered that they liked it way more than they realized, eventually calling each other mommy and daddy in their own space.
★ this is a sfw & nsfw list of headcanons and what is essentially a one-shot that's broken up into bullets. [4,211 words]
☆ gen tags: fem! reader (she/her) who loves being captain and doesn't know what's popular these days. reader and curly are in their early 30s. no crash au. curly wants to have a family with you. jimmy is a janitor here LMAO.
★ nsfw tags MDNI: mommy (mama) kink. daddy kink. role switching but leans into fdom/msub. curly secretly got a thing for breeding 🫢.
[any feedback on my writing is much appreciated btw! since i'm doing this to improve —iris🌠]
sfw.
★ the dynamic.
you and curly met through working at pony express. both of you were equally capable captains and pilots of your respective ships, bonding over the responsibilities and pressures of your roles.
curly adored your genuine drive for this job. you were so passionate about bringing out the best in people and enjoyed micro-organizing every little detail, making sure everything went smoothly.
meanwhile, he was just good at talking, which you would always praise, but he never found much pride in what he does. however, it paid immensely well, and, at the very least, he got to indulge in his love for astronomy at every waking hour, distracting himself enough from cycling through his depressive thoughts.
so, he's not complaining. plus, he gets to ogle at and hang out with the prettiest and coolest person at pony express.
(sure, he had jimmy, so he wasn't always so alone with his mind, but with you in his life, he might actually have a chance at settling down. though, curly was getting ahead of himself. he'll try to drop his future family fantasies for now... juuust until he's sure he can bag you).
curly finds your way of leading to be so endearing and... intimidating, honestly. while he was calm and compromising, you were firm and authoritarian. you were never swayed by incompetence and planted a strong ground when navigating discourse between crewmates, but, at the same time, you were nurturing. you have an air of deep kindness and wise guidance that sends him reeling. he'd openly tell you how much he admired that, but would never admit that he daydreams of how hot you looked when you ordered your crew around. he's got to stay professional, after all!
at some point, the two of you were paired for a 3-month long-haul flight. you, the captain, and he, the co-captain. one thing lead to another and without the company's knowledge, you two fell for each other.
how could you not? you two had all the elements of a power couple and understood each other better than anyone else. besides, he is one hunk of a man. of course you'd want to snag him for yourself, who wouldn't?
funnily enough, you guys asked to see each other in the cockpit with the same intention of declaring feelings.
and, of course, since you two were grown adults stuck on a spacecraft far too long for your libidos to handle, it only took two confessions interrupting each other, two pairs of hands holding, and two soft kisses to lead to the two of you passionately making out, with you straddling his lap as he wrapped his arms around your back.
it's been years since then, and the tulpar was just one of many long-haul trips where the two of you got to work together.
however, you guys have kept your relationship hidden for the sake of professionalism. even jimmy was dumbfounded to accidentally find out nearly a year into dating.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"dude, why the fuck do you have captain l/n in your wallet...?" jimmy squinted at the photo. his eyes scrolled down the print, coming to a halt and widening at what he saw, "wait, shut up, is that you two kissing?"
his eyebrows contorted into a tense knit. his mouth gaped as he stared at curly, who stood and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "since when?!"
as curly explained himself, jimmy half-heartedly laughed as he shook his head, bemusement painting his face. whether or not he was ever happy to learn about this, curly will never know.
then, realization hit. jimmy frowned as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "oh, god, please don't tell me those stains i've been cleaning were from you guys?"
"huh?! no, no! jimmy, i swear, that wasn't us, i promise!" curly panicked, his head shaking profusely.
turns out, it was, lmfao. jimmy gave him an earful, and curly kept apologizing, embarrassed that his best friend knows a little too much about what he's been doing around the ship.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
this man adored you, more than anything. the security you had in him—in yourself, most of all, was intoxicatingly comforting.
the two of you swore to stick together for as long as it takes, and have already planned out your wedding, buying a house together, changing careers (curly wants to be a stay-at-home dad, maybe freelance in something if he's got time), owning pets, raising kids (he is 100% a girl dad!!! i can see him wanting at least 2, but if you still have room for one more, he'll gladly take responsibility *wink* *wink*), etc.
curly believed that you both balanced well as parents. you would teach the kids to be brave and confident in themselves, whereas, he would help them learn to handle confrontation calmly and be friendly to all.
(he's not saying that you weren't friendly, just that, between the two of you, he specialized more in the charm department. he wasn't wrong, though! back before you guys dated, he cranked his charisma to a max, and look where that's got him now 🤭).
all of this meant everything to curly. he had quite a rough start to life, not financially but familially (how you want to interpret that is up to you). it's why he's become such a people-pleaser and tends to be a doormat, growing used to internalizing his feelings because he believed others were more deserving of pity (a belief that's been reinforced by jimmy throughout their friendship).
not to mention, how much he worried about being with someone who had to stay on earth. he felt guilty for this hypothetical person, how they'd be akin to a military spouse, waiting for god knows how long, just for curly to come back and stay for less than 6 months at a time. it sickened him to think of how that would affect his future children.
so, for him to be in a relationship with someone in the same occupation and caliber as him eased a lot of that fear. and, this is the same person who is known for her emotionally maturity, who knows how to express her thoughts and feelings, and who loves curly for all that makes him him, giving him more reasons than he already had to get down on that knee.
good GOD does he wish he could go ahead and do that already, but proposing on an aged piece of metal in outer space wasn't the most... romantic setting, as much as you jokingly insisted it was.
but, no worries, curly's got it all planned out. once you all land back on earth, curly is making sure you get your dream proposal, for that man is stopping at nothing to wed you and love you for the rest of his life!
★ the beginning to a never-ending petname.
one night, anya pulled out a pop-culture board game, one that the others understood the rules and references of fairly quickly. but, you and curly? oh, you guys needed time.
you two weren't dumb by any means, you guys were just... a little behind on the trends—trends that have been out for forever 💀.
everyone poked fun at how much you would both pause and say, "huh...?" or "w-what's that from, again?" how your brows would knit and furrow, your faces looking blank as ever. the two of you would take a slow glance at each other, then at the others, and shake your head in confusion.
admittedly, swansea was in the same boat as you two, but even he knew a couple of things better than you lot. "the benefits of raising two nerds for kids," he'd say. he liked laughing at you guys, made him feel young.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"ohh, isn't that the game you play on your gameboy, daisuke? the... you know, uh, the cute pika ball thing?" daisuke stared at curly, dumbfounded by what he was hearing.
"CAPTAIN. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THE NAME OF ONE OF—IF NOT—THE HIGHEST FORMS OF ART?!" he turned to you, desperation fueling his eyes. "l/n, please tell me you've at least heard of pokémon before..." daisuke exaggeratedly clasped his hands together.
you sat there, pursing your lips with shifty eyes and pretended to whistle as you looked away.
"anya. swansea. i think i'm gonna faint..." he dramatically dropped himself onto the two. swansea shook his head, uncrossing his arms and pulling daisuke off his and anya's laps, "kid, you are way too dramatic for your own good."
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
daisuke exasperatedly commented on how you and curly were so much like his parents, clueless and far too involved in work to know his interests.
then, he thinks for a second, and finally decides that you guys were technically the parents of the ship.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"right? think about it. if the tulpar were a house and we were family, l/n and curly would be mom and dad 'cause they're responsible for us and the ship. swansea's the grandpa—oh, come on, swan, don't look at me like that!"
"i mean, you do have grandkids, swansea..."
"exactly. THANK YOU, anya. now, you get to be the cool older sister, i'm the even cooler teenage son, polle can be like... our little pet or something, and jimmy is the uncle!"
"wh-why am i the uncle?"
"'cause you know... you're... you."
"what is THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
as an "argument" ensued between the others, you and curly were flushing. nobody but jimmy knew of your relationship, but the fact that daisuke figuratively paired you guys as a married couple turned you into a bashful, blushing mess.
nobody noticed, really. jimmy was too busy grumbling about being seen as the weird uncle, and everyone started getting really annoyed by him. so, in classic curly and y/n fashion, you two tried to resolve the situation (curly reassured jimmy that uncles can be cool! but jimmy's frown just deepened).
the game ended, and the two of you walked to your sleeping quarters, reflecting on how it went. not bringing up the mom/dad thing just yet, but it lurked in the back of your minds.
deciding to stay in his room, you and curly changed into your pjs. you snuggled up under the covers, but he momentarily checked on some paperwork. you groaned, rolled your eyes, and patted the pillows.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"babyyy, just get into bed now." you pouted.
curly chuckled, "okay, okay... just give me ooone more sec, mama, i'll be right there—"
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
your eyes widened, a fuzzy warmth bubbled within you. curly quickly got embarrassed and apologized, but when you softly chuckled and reassured him that you didn't mind, he relaxed.
hearing how smoothly 'mama' rolled out his tongue unlocked something deep in you.
the truth was, curly had been calling you 'mom', 'mama', and 'mommy' in his fantasies for quite some time now. he told you, now with him in bed, how it helped him immerse himself in imagining his future with you. even in scenarios where you didn't have kids yet, it still felt so soothing to call you by those titles.
he rested his head in the crook of your neck as you circled his back with your palm, occassionally playing with the ends of his hair. as he yapped about it, trying to make it seem less of a big deal for him, you lifted his chin to face you. he instantly softened, his words faltering as you looked down on him.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"you can call me, mommy, more often if you'd like to, baby... i really don't mind." you reassured in a low voice.
curly was uncertain, but his ocean doe eyes remain glued to your deep gaze. he swallowed, "are you sure? you don't have to put up with it if you don't really like it, honey, it's okay—"
you softly hushed him, thumbing the golden hairs scattered on his cheek. "no, i mean it." you paused, hoping the following words sounded smooth, "...mommy thinks it's genuinely cute when you call me that."
curly squirmed. a whimper resided in his throat, but, as the rumbling of your voice trailed down his spine, he let a quiet, high-pitch moan escape his lips.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
for a man who presents himself as someone very self-assured, he does have a hard time accepting that you were really okay with it.
however, when his hesitancy eases into normalcy, he's calling you 'mommy' and 'mama' in every other sentence. if not, all his sentences.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"hey, mommy, where'd you put my mug?"
"mama, you need to stop sleeping so late. it's bad for your health." (he's a hypocrite and he knows it).
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
curly's voice was naturally deep, saccharine sweet, and a bit raspy at times. but, when he called you by your motherly petnames, he'd go an octave softer, especially as the night came to a close and sleepiness was taking a toll on him. he'd sound a little dumb and incoherent, but the bass in him remained strong.
he still calls you by the classic petnames, mainly 'darling' and 'honey' since those are his other personal faves. though, minutes prior to work, he'd try to use your actual name or settle with 'babe,' so he doesn't accidentally call you 'mommy' in public. it was deeply personal for him, and if someone like jimmy caught wind of that, it would greatly upset curly, even though he would very likely tell you it was fine (just so you wouldn't chew jimmy alive).
so, when YOU began calling him, 'daddy,' it sent his mind into a haywire. (how it happened is in the nsfw section!)
he loved the safety of calling you his mommy, how it relieved the weight of his captain duties and the thoughts burdened in his mind. but, with his newfound title, he'd flip between feeling secure in your protection to wanting to do nothing but protect you. not from any real danger, perse, but, moreso, caring for each other's well-being when either of you wanted to indulge in a little less control.
it made sense that even you, the commanding leader who enjoyed delegating and dominating others (other than him), needed a break from your responsibilities and wanted curly to take the wheel for a change.
you both took turns pampering one another. he would do everything you wanted, and made sure to wrap you in his big, strong arms by the end of the day.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"rest your pretty head for me, okay, mommy? daddy's got you..."
he brought the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it deeply, thumbing your knuckles with his large, calloused fingers. with his other arm, curly pressed your waist closer to his, letting you relish in his warmth.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
when it was his turn, a long snuggle session, loads of praise, and kisses in every place was all he needed (don't forget to call him your good little boy! he needs his mommy's praise after a rough day at work).
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"honeyyy, i've called you 'good boy' like 24 times in a rowww...!" you whined. of course you didn't mind peppering kisses on his face with the same adoring name over and over again, but now, he was just getting greedy.
curly giggled, nuzzling his nose against your cheek as he softened his sea blue eyes, "just ooone more, pleaaase, mama? please...?"
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
he loved how reliable the term 'daddy' felt. it gave him a little ego boost. he's always had a pretty good relationship with his masculinity, but this just added onto that like a good affirmation.
the way his mind would get so lost in replaying how you two back-and-forthed with your respective petnames. it felt like he was role-playing his future family with you in real time.
★ extras.
it became an ongoing joke with the crew, especially with daisuke. whenever you'd tell him to get back to work, he'd drawl out a long "okayyy, mommmm," but quickly apologized after swansea smacked the back of his head.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"tch, don't talk to your captain like that."
"ach! i'm sorry, I'M SORRYYY—i was kidding!!!"
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
anya found it silly, never really saying anything like daisuke, but since you two became good friends (both because you guys genuinely clicked and were the only women on board), she had a knack for teasing you about it. she knew something more was going on between you and curly. so, maybe, just maybe, during a psych eval, you eventually spilled to her about your relationship.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"hehe, called it."
"seriously?! how?"
"y/n... it's so obvious. i've seen you guys sneak into each other's rooms."
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
swansea didn't care. he was an actual dad, after all, and practically everyone he knew eventually became a parent one way or another. though, if you felt comfortable enough with swansea and told him about your relationship, he surprisingly wouldn't mind giving you two a piece of advice. how to keep a long-term marriage? dude's been with his wife for over 40 years and counting. raising children? please, he's done it twice. unclogging the toilet after your kids threw your deodorant down the drain? don't ask, just listen. you're much better off not knowing how.
whatever it is, ask away, but don't expect anything easy on the ears. swansea gives advice in poetic prose that borderline sounds like he's taking a jab at you.
truthfully, jimmy is somewhere in between being deeply irritated by the both of you and not giving two shits. he hates how you're sort of a curly clone, in the sense that you're also a high-performing person that everyone adores to work with. but, what's worse, is that you're so much harder to get mad at and are 100% capable of calling out his ass.
he's had to catch himself from saying anything too mean to curly multiple times. he knows he's easily replaceable, he's the janitor for god's sake, and if he said too much in front of you, he knows you'd tell pony express to fire him on the spot.
but, if we're assuming that jimmy is mentally better in the head, he'd eventually get over it and shrug off your guys' relationship, not wanting to grow envious as he does by default.

nsfw.
★ mommy.
it didn't surprise you that curly loved calling you 'mommy' in bed too. he'd always say, "mommy, you're so beautiful", "m-mommy, it's too tight...!" and when he gets overwhelmed, he'd become so dazed as his dick ached, crying because his mama felt so good.
he was like pavlov's dog, only the bell was your petname and you were the meal. if either of you were ever so slightly horny and everyone was stowed away in their quarters, hearing 'mommy' reverberate out of your mouth had him squeezing his thighs.
however, he's gotten used to mostly keeping it in his pants. not letting himself get needy when it's used casually. otherwise, he'd cease to function.
he loves it when you ride him, he gets all whimpery and brain-dead, begging his mama to let him cum out of his "little" boy dick.
all he wanted was his mommy to use him, make him so overstimulated until all that was left in his empty head was you.
sometimes, he loved the feeling of reaching his orgasm more than the orgasm itself. it's that momentary numbness he gets that he enjoys chasing, how every single thought completely disappeared, leaving him into nothing but a panting mess — all of him leaking out of his cock.
★ daddy.
one night, you were laying on curly, sitting upright. he held you in his arms as you spread your legs far and wide, toes digging into the mattress, gripping onto curly's biceps for support.
and, just like curly when he called you 'mama' for the first time, you accidentally slipped out a "daddy—!" as he fingered you, knuckles-deep.
you suddenly went quiet, quickly covering a hand over your mouth.
curly's eyes widened, his fingers stilled inside of you as his heart raced in his chest... he didn't expect it, but his shock washed into dominance.
he pulled out his fingers, his tone more stern and husk as he whispered, "say that again."
you whimpered, the loss of fullness making your thighs shudder. without a single thought, you called him daddy again, and again, and again... until he flipped you onto your stomach and was back to toying with you, digging into your insides at much greater speeds than before.
when you began regularly using it, he'd grow so romantic and reserved, wanting to take his time to just worship you—peppering deep kisses from head to toe—because in his eyes, you were the most precious person in existence.
he's never rough unless you tell him to be or he knows that it'll make you cum even better, but this man just loves to be slow and sensual. it's his go-to speed.
his favorite thing to do is coo at you, asking if you like how daddy is loving you or if daddy's doing a good job at touching your little hole. even when he's assuming a dominant role, he wants your reassurance.
curly is never mean. he only likes to light-heartedly tease you whenever you'd whine for him to keep going. other than that, he was heavy on his praises, loved complimenting you till you were blushing all over.
★ taking turns.
now, you guys would call each other 'mommy' and 'daddy' regardless of the dynamic, but if either of you felt more subby, you'd settle for the classic, 'good girl,' and him, 'good boy' (or any other submissive petname you prefer).
if you're domming and he's subbing, he wants you to use up all of his cum for your pleasure. he hopes you'll let him spill all that's left in him for hours on end.
however, most of the time, he's not really built for that, only able to handle a little over a round. so, to make up for it, he'll let you get him all pent up and force him to hold it in, using his desperation as energy to serve you.
the longer you left him like that, the faster his licks and finger-fucks became.
if you're cruel, making him rut into you would send him shaking. he'd struggle so hard, needing to take breaks as he alternated between slow and steady thrusts to rough humps according to what you ordered... oh, tears were definitely rolling down his cheeks.
(don't worry, he's not hurt. it's just a lot for him to physically handle. but, for you, he'd withstand anything!)
on the off-chance that he has the energy to go longer, he wants you to use him in all positions with only a minute to breathe after each cum. he wants to lose it, make him sweaty and breathless, please. turn him into a pathetic display only for your eyes to see.
if he's domming and you're subbing, he finds it fun to deny your orgasm, loving how surprised you get whenever he'd lift your vibrator off your clit or leave his dick in you, barely moving an inch. but even then, he quickly caves in and lets you have your way because nothing turns him on more than you cumming and crying for your 'daddy.'
he doesn't do that to hurt you, after all, he hates the mere possibility of even remotely making you uncomfortable. but, when he asks whether or not mommy misses his fingers, and you'd mewl in agreement, he can't help himself from edging you.
★ curly thinking of you. (extras).
he jerks off to the idea of breeding you.
but, even though it gets his dick all wet, he won't re-enact it just yet. he doesn't want to accidentally impregnate you when neither of you were ready—especially since you're the one carrying.
even if you were incredibly horny and adamant on it, he'd keep his rationale.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"mommy... i'm not cumming inside you." he chuckled, shaking his head with his tone, firm. you whined, "but, why not?" a needy frown formed on your lips, "i just want to feel good, daddy. you said i could...!"
you grinded down on his boxers, wetness seeped through the fabric of your panties. curly stifled a groan as he felt your clothed folds slide against his tip, drenched in his pre-cum.
"i know, mommy, i know... daddy'll take care of you soon, i promise... but i'm not risking anything, okay?" he pressed a kiss on your forehead, thumbing circles on your stomach with his hands gripping your waist. "it's for your own safety, mama."
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
but, since this was all in his head, he could indulge in it as much as he wanted.
curly loved remembering the way your cum dripped out of your hole, how softly your pussy parted. it made him wish it was his, wanting to fill you up and let his mess soak up inside you.
he wished he could finger it back into you—or, even better, tongue-fuck it in. the thought of having you sit on his face with him lapping his cum into your walls, as you rubbed your clit against the end of his nose got him all hot and bothered.
with his hand pumping himself from base to tip, he'd think of you laying down on your back, wrapping your legs around curly's head as you pushed his mouth further into you. he'd moan into your pretty parts, purposefully deepening it so his voice would vibrate all over your pussy.
[holy shit, i wrote so much. thank you for reading all the way ♡ let me know if you guys want more captain! reader and/or mommy/daddy kink! curly —iris🌠]
#🌠 leads to my masterlist#whew had to edit it since i accidentally deleted a chunk 💀 but all is saved#hopefully i wrote everything in?#curly mouthwashing#curly x reader#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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Hiyayaya, I leik ur work >< I hope it's alr if u can do my request ^^
An au where Pony Express shuts down and the crew finds better things to do with their life rather than being in that stupid shitty company— and then some random ass afternoon they randomly see the reader, doing the most mundane things like just shopping or eating food. And yk it's kinda weird seeing them after a few years!
Yes, I need some crew x readers
a/n: OH MY GODDDD I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCHHH YES?? I’m literally foaming at the mouth
Tulpar Crew x Ex coworker! Reader
Curly
You were never exactly close with Curly on board
You were a little intimidated by him
He liked you though
He thought you were very competent
So when he sees you 3 years after Pony Express kicks the bucket, he’s more than happy
Walks in and shouts your name with no shame
Sits down across from you and chats it up
You talk about mundane things like life on the Tulpar, your families, life since Pony Express disbanded, and so on
He gets roped into the conversation
And your eyes
And the way you talk
“Let’s do this again sometime, yeah?”
Cue weekly meetings
Jimmy
Jimmy despised Pony Express
You were just another person who he had to deal with
So when he sees you walking down the street, he doesn’t try to get your attention by any means
Puts his head down and hands in his pockets
Doesn’t help
You see him
“Jimmy?! Hey!”
You run over and say hi enthusiastically
Like you missed him or some shit
He doesn’t hold up his end of the conversation…like at all
“Yeah, yeah. Uh huh.”
You talk about how you didn’t like Pony Express either
You hug him when you go
He doesn’t like how it makes his chest feel tight and weird
Swansea
A lot like Jimmy, but this time he has an actual reason to hate Pony Express
He’s grown to hate it over the years and was thankful when it finally shut down
But it raises the question: where does he go from here?
Applies for a lot of bodyguards jobs and the like
Finds you working at a club he applied to be the bouncer for
In a less than ideal waitress uniform
Doesn’t stare though
He’s a gentleman
Or is he? Wink
He and you don’t talk but you recognize each other
And give each other “Good to see you” glances
He liked you on the ship
You were one of the few people who knew how to do anything
So it’s always to see a… you
Daisuke
Daisuke…
He went back to living off his parents
Just for a bit, he swears
He finds himself going out more to fun places
Imagine his surprise when he sees you at this amusement park out of town he’s visiting
“(Name)? (Name)!”
Runs right up to you
You walk with him and talk about life
Actually you don’t really talk much about Pony Express
Despite that being how you met
He knew that you had more to you
He wanted to know!
Tries to win those rigged games to impress you
Buys you cotton candy
You come home with him and you watch a movie
End up crashing on the floor
He missed his buddy
Anya
Anya gets sick a lot (again I am projecting)
Funny enough she has to go to the doctor a lot
Nurse seeing a nurse
And that nurse happens to be you
You were both nurses in Pony Express’s crew, but while she was assigned to the Tulpar, you got a different ship
She knew your name though
You take her vitals and give good small talk
You have to draw her blood
She hates this
But you’re damn good with a butterfly needle
She doesn’t feel a thing
She likes how you talk her through it
Makes her feel safer
You exchange numbers and promise to get a coffee together sometime
She leaves with a smile on her face for once
And antibiotics because she’s got another virus
Poor Anya
#mouthwashing#x reader#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#mechanic swansea#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing daisuke#Daisuke x reader#curly x reader#jimmy x reader#Anya x reader#Swansea x reader#daisuke mouthwashing x reader#cassiebob talkerpants#cassiebob answers#anya mouthwashing x reader#curly mouthwashing x reader#jimmy mouthwashing x reader#swansea mouthwashing x reader
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Swap! Swansea oml-
Sm about Swansea begrudgingly helping the young intern Daisuke and then forming a soft spot for him is so cool-
Also, unrelated, What was swap!Jimmy like before the crash?
Finally gonna put in the effort to reply to asks lol
I know I’ve mentioned before how Jimmy is but have this doodle page as I explain.
Jimmy isn’t a very nice guy still. But he isn’t the abuser (it’s Curly in the swap au). He acts more like an annoying boss- always nitpicking the things his crew does or being too demanding all the time.
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Mr puzzle why are you with the crew?





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𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞





pairing: hongjoong x reader au: 9th member | idol | poly genre: angst with comfort word count: 1.2k synopsis: you didn't mean for it happen, but it did.. warning(s): hospital, description of passing out, bad eating habits.

You were burning up.
So hot that even with the staff frantically fanning you, sweat clung to your skin and the water you chugged did little to cool you down. Hongjoong noticed how winded you were and rushed to your side, quickly pulling out his earpiece.
"Are you okay? Do we need to call a medic?"
You waved him off, taking a deep breath before straightening up. "Just need a minute," you mumbled.
The staff exchanged glances with Hongjoong, concern etched into their expressions. Still, he stayed close, silently offering you your microphone. You took it with a small nod as the two of you followed the others toward the stage.
The roar of the crowd grew louder, fans screaming as Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang lit up the stage with their performance.
Behind you, Mingi and Yunho appeared, concern flashing across their faces the moment they saw how closely Hongjoong was hovering by your side.
"You look... pale? Y/N, are you okay?" Mingi asked, his brows furrowing.
You waved him off, nodding as if that would settle it. "I'm fine," you insisted, though your voice lacked its usual strength.
Hongjoong let out an annoyed huff beside you, clearly not convinced. He was one second away from calling off the rest of the show—there was no way he was letting you push through when you looked like this.
But just as he turned to call out to the director, the crew was already ushering you all toward the stage, headsets crackling with urgency.
“No time—go, go, go!”
You barely had a moment to collect yourself before the stage lights flared to life, blinding and hot, the deafening cheers crashing over you like a tidal wave.
You moved on autopilot, slipping into position as the music kicked in. When your line came, you lifted the mic with trembling fingers, your voice barely catching the beat.
Then your vision blurred.
Your words slurred, the mic slipping slightly from your grasp just before your knees gave out beneath you. A sharp ringing filled your ears, drowning out the roar of the crowd—though you could still feel the shift in energy, the panic breaking through the cheers.
Someone was in front of you—reaching, calling your name—but their face was a blur.
Then everything went dark.

Hongjoong hadn’t left your side since you were admitted. He sat in the stiff hospital chair, your hand cradled tightly in his, his knee bouncing restlessly.
How did he miss the signs? The exhaustion in your eyes, the way your energy had been slipping day by day. You’d been skipping meals—he knew that now—but he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen you eat.
The guilt clawed at his chest, sharp and suffocating.
Then you stirred. A soft groan slipped past your lips as you slowly sat up, disoriented and sluggish.
Hongjoong was at your side in an instant, the chair screeching back as he leaned over you, hands hovering like he wasn’t sure whether to hold you or let you breathe.
“Hey—hey, take it slow,” he said gently, eyes scanning your face for any sign of pain. “You scared the hell out of me.”
“What happened? I just remember going on stage,” you mumbled, your voice hoarse as your hand moved to your head, wincing at the dull throb settling behind your eyes.
Hongjoong let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He gently guided your hand down, his touch careful.
“You collapsed,” he said quietly. “Right in the middle of the performance. Scared everyone half to death.”
Your eyes widened as his words sank in, panic bubbling up as questions rushed to your lips—but Hongjoong held up his hands before you could speak.
“Yes, the boys are okay,” he said, voice firm but gentle. “They’ll come visit once you and I have a nice, long chat about your health.”
He gave your hand a light squeeze, his gaze unwavering.
“The schedule’s cleared for a few weeks—for all of us. We’re not letting you keep running yourself into the ground. You’re going to rest, and you’re going to eat, and we’re going to make sure you’re actually okay this time. We’ll be damned if we let you keep going like this.”
Hongjoong let out a sigh—not one of disappointment, but one heavy with worry and guilt.
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked softly, his brows drawing together. “You nearly scared half of us to death. Do you have any idea how worried we were, Y/N?”
His voice cracked slightly at the end, and you saw it clearly now—how shaken he truly was. Not just as your leader. Not even as your teammate.
As your lover.
Your eyes welled up, the weight of everything finally crashing down. You looked down at your interlocked fingers, gripping his hand tighter as the tears began to fall, silent and steady.
“We were just so busy,” you whispered, voice trembling. “And I didn’t want to disappoint any of you. It didn’t feel like something to worry about… not until today.”
Your shoulders shook as you tried to steady your breath.
“It just got so hot, and we’ve worked so hard to be able to perform on that stage. I didn’t want to screw it up.” You paused, tears slipping down your cheeks. “But I did anyway. And I’m so sorry, Hongjoong…”
His heart broke a little more at the sight of you blaming yourself. Hongjoong’s expression softened instantly, his own eyes glistening as he reached up to gently wipe a tear from your cheek with his thumb.
“Hey, hey… no,” he murmured, voice low and full of emotion. “You didn’t screw anything up, Y/N. You scared us, yeah—but not because you failed. Because we love you.”
He leaned in, pressing his forehead gently against yours, his grip on your hand never loosening.
“You don’t have to carry everything by yourself. Not with me. Not with the boys. You’re not a burden, and you never will be. We’d rather a thousand cancelled stages than see you like that again.”
His thumb brushed over your hand, slow and grounding.
“You’re more important than any show. Please don’t ever think otherwise.”
“Now,” Hongjoong whispered, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes, “be real with me. I won’t be mad, I promise.”
His thumb continued to trace soft circles against your skin, grounding you in his presence.
“When was the last time you ate?” he asked softly.
His voice held no judgment—just concern. And love. The kind that made your chest ache all over again. Because you knew the answer wasn’t something he’d want to hear.
You slowly pulled your hand away, gaze dropping to the blanket, unable to meet his eyes. And that alone was all the answer he needed.
Without hesitation, he reached out and took your hand back, holding it even tighter this time.
“Oh, Y/N…” he whispered, heart breaking.
Your shoulders began to shake as the guilt and exhaustion finally caught up with you. You looked up at him, eyes glassy and voice cracking.
“I’m sorry, Hongjoong. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
He didn’t say anything right away—just pulled you into his arms, holding you close like you might slip away if he didn’t. One hand cradled the back of your head, the other wrapped firmly around your waist.
“I know,” he murmured into your hair. “I know you didn’t. But you don’t have to be sorry for falling apart. Not with me.”
He held you like that, letting you cry, letting you be human.
#ateez 9th member#9th member of ateez#9th member ateez#ateez extra member au#ateez extra member#ateez x y/n#ateez poly#ateez angst#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez oneshot#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#── ateez: poly
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What the dessert knows
Wild West AU
Outlaw!Steve x fem!reader



Word count: 2.5k
Summary: you escape the cruel hands of the dessert and run into two outlaws who take you in.
a very emotionally restrained Steve, pining and a not so slow burn also a little bit platonic outlaw!eddie x reader
Disclaimer: wrote this partially because of all the westerns I’ve been watching and watching Djo pull out his cowboy boots in an interview
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
The desert didn’t forgive. It didn’t forget, either.
It swallowed things whole—towns, men, hopes—and left only dust behind. The sun beat down hard, unrelenting as ever, casting sharp shadows across the canyons and dried-up riverbeds. The kind of silence that settled here wasn’t peaceful. It was the kind that listened.
Steve Harrington rode near the front, quiet and tense. His horse moved steady beneath him, hooves crunching against the cracked dirt trail. Eddie Munson trailed a little behind, swaying slightly in his saddle, his curls a wild mess under his battered hat.
“You think Callahan’s boys came through this way?” Eddie asked, voice carrying lazily over the wind.
Steve didn’t look back. “Heard from a trader down in Poppy’s Crossing. Said a village burned two days south. Matches his pattern.”
Eddie was quiet for a moment, then muttered, “Bastard’s getting bolder.”
Steve’s jaw tensed.
Jude Callahan—the name alone made his blood run hot. He was the kind of man who wore cruelty like a second skin. Ran the Black Ridge Gang with fear, fire, and iron. Steve had his own crew, sure. A misfit band of outlaws, some say. But there were lines Steve Harrington didn’t cross. And he put bullets in the men who did.
They crested a ridge just as the sun began to lean westward. That’s when Steve saw it—something out of place in all that emptiness. A figure crumpled near the rocks, half-hidden by scrub brush and shadow. For a second, he thought it might be a mirage.
Then it moved.
Steve was off his horse before Eddie even cursed.
You didn’t hear them approach. You’d stopped listening to the world hours ago, maybe longer. When you felt the shade fall over you, you flinched instinctively—but then a voice cut through the static.
“Hey. You hurt?”
It was low. Rough. But not unkind.
Your eyes fluttered open, dry and aching, and there was a man crouched beside you. Tall, dark-haired, tan from the sun, dust smeared across his boots and coat. His hand hovered just above your arm, not touching. Waiting.
You blinked once.
“I… I ran,” you whispered, barely able to find the words.
“You alone?” Eddie asked, coming into view.
You gave the smallest nod.
They didn’t ask more—not yet. Steve pulled a flask from his belt and tilted it to your lips, patient as you drank in shallow, desperate sips. Then he lifted you, careful and slow, as though you were made of glass.
You didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking to the creak of wood and the warmth of cloth beneath you. A cot. Clean water beside it. A woman humming nearby as she stirred something in a pot.
“You’re safe now,” she said, glancing over with a kind smile. “Steve brought you in himself.”
You sat up too fast, the memories crashing down like a storm. You told them everything once you could bear to speak again—the raid, the screams, the fire. Callahan. How his men tore through your village in the night, drunk on violence. How the women were taken, how some never even screamed.
How Callahan had chosen to keep you for himself.
But you’d waited. Watched. And when the moment came, you took it and ran.
The women—wives of outlaws, survivors in their own right—didn’t pity you. They understood. They helped you clean up, gave you a dress that didn’t smell like ash, and fed you until the hollow ache in your belly faded.
Steve didn’t come by that first night.
Or the next.
He watched from a distance.
You caught glimpses of him sometimes—at the edge of the saloon, talking low with his men, eyes flicking toward you when he thought you weren’t looking. But he kept his distance like a man unsure of his own hands. Like if he got too close, he’d ruin something.
Eddie was easier. He joked with you, asked about your old village, and taught you how to hold a pistol.
One afternoon, while helping to hang laundry behind the mess hall, you overreached for a line that was strung too high. The stool beneath your feet wobbled on uneven ground, and you stumbled down hard, catching yourself with your hands in the dirt.
“Shit,” you muttered, brushing off your palms, wincing as the grit scraped against raw skin. You’d landed hard on your knees too, skirt dusty and skin smarting.
Before you could steady yourself fully, a shadow fell across you.
Steve.
He crouched in front of you silently, hands hovering just shy of your own. Waiting for permission.
You gave a small nod, and he gently turned your hands over, inspecting the reddened scrapes.
“Could’ve twisted your damn ankle,” he said, voice low and gruff.
“I’m fine,” you replied, brushing your hair out of your face. “Just slipped.”
“Still,” he muttered, already untying the red bandana from his neck. He wrapped it carefully around your hand, his fingers sure and steady, but gentle too.
You watched him work. He didn’t look up once.
“You don’t talk much,” you said softly.
He shrugged. “Ain’t much worth saying.”
��Unless you’re giving orders?”
That coaxed a tiny, reluctant smirk from him—but it vanished just as quick.
“Lot of men ‘round here,” he said. “Most of ‘em got wives. Families. Things they wanna protect. I make sure nobody touches ‘em.”
“And what about you?”
“I’ve seen what happens when men take what don’t belong to them.”
He finished tying the bandana, tugged it gently to make sure it stayed, and stepped back.
“You’re not something to fight over,” he said, voice low, almost too quiet to catch.
For a second, the air between you both felt still—thicker somehow, like the desert heat had stopped moving.
He turned and walked away, boots heavy in the dirt. But as he rounded the corner of the mess hall, out of your sight, he slowed.
His hands clenched at his sides.
Hell.
He hadn’t meant to say it like that.
The words had come out harsher than he intended, sharp with the edge of a man trying too damn hard to put up a wall he wasn’t sure he could keep standing. But it was the truth. Every time he looked at you—at the way you held your own despite the wreckage you’d crawled out of—he felt something gnaw at him. Something protective. Something hungry. Something dangerous.
And that scared the hell out of him.
You weren’t a conquest. You weren’t some soft little thing to tuck away in his bed and protect like a prize. You were surviving. Healing. Still shaking off the hands that had tried to chain you down. And the last thing Steve wanted was to be another man who tried to own you.
He’d seen too much of that. Been raised around it. Hell, maybe even been too close to it himself in the early days, back before he understood the kind of man he wanted to be.
So he kept his distance. Let you find your feet without his shadow hovering over you.
But that didn’t stop him from watching.
From wondering.
From waking in the middle of the night with your voice echoing in his chest like a loaded gun.
The days in the outlaw village moved slowly, like honey over scorched wood—sticky, golden, and sometimes sharp with splinters. You learned to wake early, when the sky was just beginning to blush pink and the air still held the cool breath of the night.
The women had taken you in like a sister. They weren’t what you expected—rough-edged and hard-willed, sure, but kind in the ways that mattered. Wives of outlaws. Mothers of none. Survivors, all of them.
“You sew like you’ve been dodging needles your whole life,” Maria joked one morning, watching you try to thread a needle for the third time.
“Maybe I have,” you replied, lips twitching into a smile.
They made you laugh. They fed you stories over stew and stitched you into their circle like you’d always belonged. But one afternoon, when the sun hung heavy and the air was thick with stillness, conversation turned.
“You know,” June said casually as she cleaned a tin cup, “he hasn’t stopped watching you since the day he brought you in.”
You blinked. “Who?”
“Don’t be thick,” Maria added, grinning. “Steve.”
Heat crept up your neck.
“No, he hasn’t,” June continued. “But he’s trying real hard not to. Stubborn ass thinks if he keeps his hands to himself, he’s doing you a favor.”
You frowned, folding a shirt that wasn’t yours. “He’s distant. Polite, but… cold.”
Maria gave a small laugh. “Sweetheart, that man’s colder with the people he likes than most are with their enemies. He thinks wanting something means he’s already halfway to hurting it.”
You sat in silence for a moment, staring at the folds of cotton between your hands. The thought of him watching—caring, in his quiet way—stirred something inside you. Something warm. Something unsettling.
Eddie was easier to be around.
He was loud, reckless, and ridiculous in the best way. You started sitting with him in the shade outside the stables, listening to his endless stream of stories—some wild, some sweet, some likely fabricated entirely.
“You ever shoot a gun?” he asked one day, twirling his revolver with a little too much flair.
“Not at something alive,” you said.
“Want to?”
You hesitated, then nodded.
He spent the afternoon showing you how to aim, how to breathe before you pulled the trigger, how not to let the recoil knock you on your ass. He never touched you unless he had to, and even then, it was brief. Respectful.
“Not bad,” he grinned, watching you land a shot near the center of a makeshift target. “You keep that up and Stevie’s gonna be out of a job.”
Steve stood just outside the saloon doors, arms crossed, watching from a distance. His eyes lingered on the way you laughed at something Eddie said, your hand brushing his arm. Steve’s jaw tensed, but he said nothing.
Eddie noticed.
That night, after the village had settled and the moon rose over the canyon, Eddie found Steve sitting by the fire, nursing a drink and staring into the flames like they owed him answers.
“I don’t want her like that, you know,” Eddie said casually, plopping down beside him.
Steve didn’t look at him. “Didn’t say you did.”
“Didn’t have to. You look like someone kicked your dog every time she smiles at me.”
Steve said nothing.
Eddie took a long sip of his flask. “You want her. She wants you too, even if she don’t know it yet. But you’re acting like you’re some loaded gun just waiting to go off.”
“I am,” Steve muttered.
Eddie glanced at him. “Then maybe stop pointing at the people you care about.”
They sat in silence for a long while.
Eventually, Steve murmured, “She’s been through hell. I don’t wanna add to it.”
“You won’t,” Eddie said, standing. “Unless you keep holding back like an idiot. She’s yours, Steve. You just gotta be brave enough to take what’s already reaching for you.”
That night, you couldn’t sleep.
The village was quiet, but not peaceful. You could feel something stirring out there in the distance. Restless wind. Trouble in the earth.
You sat on the porch of your cabin, legs curled beneath you, staring into the dark beyond the firelight. The stars were sharp above you. The desert whispered secrets you couldn’t hear.
Steve’s voice broke the silence.
“You shouldn’t be out alone at night.”
You turned, startled. He stood a few feet away, hat in hand, hair tousled, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The fire behind him cast shadows along his jaw.
“Didn’t mean to wake anyone,” you said softly.
“You didn’t.” He stepped closer. “Can’t sleep?”
You nodded, and he sat beside you—close enough to feel, not touch.
There was a long pause. Then, finally:
“I didn’t say what I meant to, the other day,” he said, voice low.
You looked at him, but he was staring ahead into the dark.
“You said I’m not something to fight over.”
He nodded once. “I meant… you’re not a thing at all. You’re not a prize, or a possession. You’re a person. I just… didn’t want you to think I see you like they did.”
“I don’t,” you said, just as quiet. “But you keep looking at me like I’m something you can’t have.”
He finally turned to meet your gaze.
“Maybe I’m just afraid of what’ll happen if I take something I actually want.”
The air shifted between you. Something electric, quiet and taut, stretched tight.
You swallowed. “And what do you want?”
He didn’t answer. Not with words.
But the way he looked at you—sharp, burning, unreadable—made your heart hammer in your chest. His hand moved just slightly, his fingers brushing against yours. Barely there. A whisper of a touch.
He didn’t move closer. Didn’t press.
But he didn’t pull away either.
_____
Somewhere out in the desert, a rider crossed through the ashes of a burned-out town.
Smoke still clung to the ruins.
And Callahan’s gang had already started whispering about the girl who got away.
They were coming.
And this time, they’d leave nothing standing.
____
hope I didn’t leave any mistakes in and let me know if I should give this more parts!
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𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 ➺ 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 #9
anderson construction and landscaping had been parked outside your door since you returned home from university. as if the summer couldn't get any hotter, the business owner works overtime in your area. anderson is collecting new, loyal clients of your neighbors, cementing her permanence in your life for the next few months. what's to come of your girlish crush when she keeps showing up?
𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜. 18+ (mdni); age-gap, young!reader, older!abby, butch!abby, slow-burn, suggestive language, thoughts of infidelity, ellie ft, smoking/drinking, mentions of parents, nickname: sweetheart, and modern au.
𝚊𝚗. listen,,, i am actively doing a masters i apologize!!! i've recently stopped using grammarly for a more real writing experience. so if things are wonky, just know thats why! no more ai help. this isnt my BEST but.
♫ 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝. cry to me by loleatta holloway♫
I was completely dazed, hoping that I won’t crash into a brick wall anytime soon. The images from last night were on a constant reply behind my eyes. I’m sure she has no idea or at least I hope that she doesn’t but when I got up to go to the bathroom, I saw her. She was standing in my shower letting brushing her hands against her body, tracing the lines of her hips with what I presume was my soap. The door was slightly ajar although the steam hid her, which I was thankful for, a perverse part of my brain wish it wasn’t. But her outline was more than enough. The feeling wasn’t anger towards her but frustration all again within me being a creep and internal moral conflict.
As I tossed in bed, I listened to her feet pad around the hardwood and finally settle in the living room. After rolling back and forth multiple times I found a comfortable position and let my mind drift away void of any lingering thoughts. Images of her continuously flashed in my mind, it was inappropriate, unprofessional, a conflict of interest. My shoulders dropped instantly as we pulled into her driveway, she left me alone and I pressed my head against the seat.
Once I ended my call with Henrietta and confirmed today’s appointment, she reappeared dressed in black jeans, baby blue cotton button up rolled to the elbow, hair out of her face and ears decorated with gold jewelry and minimal makeup. A soft tote bag thrown over her shoulder slipped off ever so slightly as she opened the door — I itched to get out and do it for her, it didn’t feel right to see her open it on her own. Up close she looked honey-drenched from a soft golden shimmer highlighted on the peaks of her face. I swallowed roughly.
“Are you nervous?” I ask, hoping the breaking the silence will help me feel normal.
“Not at all,” She says plainly.
“Were you nervous your first time Ms. Anderson?” She stares out the window.
I chuckle. “Depends.”
“My mindset is there is nothing I can’t do. I can have it all, you know.”
“I remember my first project after Grandad died, I took over his small crew of chauvinistic dicks. They all acted like I gave him the cancer, that was the hardest part, getting the job done even though I was surrounded by people who couldn’t care less if I died too. A lot of time I was at sites overnight, fixing mistakes they made on purpose, juggling multiple contracts, grieving,” I grip the wheel tighter remembering the level of mental turmoil I was put through. Funeral arrangements, emotionally manipulative girlfriend, underpaid… “I don’t think I had time to be nervous, I had to be strong immediately. Let them call me horrible names and make those jokes to prove a point,”
A small Henrietta came into view waving a small, saggy arm quickly. She was so cute.
“That’s Mrs. Harris, she’s quite the character.” I add.
Without time to complete our conversation we both step out with haste.
“Welcome ladies, now I don’t remember this fine young lady before.”
“Hi Ms. Harris, I’m Ms. Anderson’s new assistant, nice meeting you.” She smiles brightly and genuinely.
“Perfect, you can meet my daughter Nora then, she’s making iced tea.”
My face contorts with confusion as we take our shoes off at the door to walk into the kitchen. Lemon lady, Nora, looks up and our faces share similar confusion. I scratch at a sliver of my exposed arm.
“Abigail,” She manages to grunt.
“Oh—What? You two know each other?” Her mother questions.
“‘Ma were actually neighbors,”
Mrs. Harris gasps theatrically and slams her hand over her chest and praises silently to herself.
“We are.” I confirm.
Nora’s tanned skin was deep and rusty, causing her light brown eyes to pop even more. I saw her beauty in its fullness as she pranced from around the island in a hot pink wrap dress.
“So, what the hell!” Henrietta laughs, wrapping a causal arm around my new assistant.
“In passing we speak but not fully, I definitely don’t know you, hi.”
I had never payed attention to how raspy her voice was - sultry. Her long lashes fluttered as two parts of my new world began to collide instantly and explode right in my face. Nora’s full 'fro was painted with a stroke of grey around the edges of her hairline feathering outwards. Her femininity was palpable, she floated on her lavender painted toes around the kitchen, finally making it to me. I had to look downwards slightly to meet her gaze.
“Hi,” She twinkles softly.
“Well, hello there. I started to find it suspicious that I didn’t receive a crate of lemons recently.”
She laughs behind a soft manicured hand that then brushes slightly against my bicep. “I’m starting limes now.”
For some reason I blushed.
We sat in the tastily aquatic themed living room where I sat with all three ladies to have further discussion, even now I didn’t want to, I wanted to hear Nora’s voice again. A small tingle danced on my body from all the pleasantries Nora and I had ran into from simply speaking. No awkward waves or glances and I felt … a bit nervous. Her femininity was fragrant and I pictured those short nails piercing into my skin as I flatten her curls into a pillowcase.
Iced tea sat center on to coffee table that I sipped while avoiding any glances in Nora’s direction, undressing her with my eyes in front of her mother would be absolutely inappropriate — which made it harder. As I slipped on my specs to read some notes I made after meeting with Henrietta I felt two flaming gazes traveling in my direction. One of them mutual and one of them not, a fantasy living in my dreamscape.
“‘Ma I won’t be moving back in anytime soon, but if you worked on the guest bedroom, maybe I could stay over more often?” Nora groaned.
Henrietta melted into her seat sadly at the final conclusion.
“Fine. Abby, would that be something you have time to do?” She asked.
“Let me check our calendar and call you.”
“Or call Nora!”
I giggled a bit and looked to my newest edition force a soft grin at the non-business related topic at hand. The sheer enthusiasm from her mother told me everything that I needed to know, Nora had been single for far too long, living a bit sedentary like me. Luckily for me, I didn’t have any parents anymore to nag me about it.
Nora slipped on tan criss-cross sandals to walk us outside to the door, where we headed for the truck, but not just before she gripped my bicep. I turn with hot curiosity to the woman who now stands slightly above me the peak of the morning glistening on her face.
“Sorry, she can be a bit dramatic.” She apologies.
“It’s perfectly fine, it’s good you still have her,” I add.
“Listen Abby, this blind date was unusual but I feel like we can take a drink and learn more about each other. Or I could cook you breakfast this weekend, whatever you want.” She smiled.
I nodded casually but was internally on the brink of combustion, her initiative surprised me and I was upset I couldn’t approach her first, but I was pleased.
“Absolutely, your mom took the liberty of texting me your contact so no worries I’ll be in touch.” I mimic her soft smile.
“Perfect. Hope to hear from you soon.”
“Whatever we decide to do I’d love to see you in some lavender.” I wriggle my fingers.
She nods her head and my knees could’ve buckled then and there but instead I step back and turn to face the truck.
“Fuck,” I whisper. “Sorry.”
I jog slightly to the truck and unlock the door for my poor assistant who had to see the most unprofessional display of interaction with a client on her first day. I cut the AC on quickly and lean back in the driver’s seat to look over at her. But I couldn’t read her, was she upset or confused? I couldn’t tell.
“How about we get you home, I’m headed—“
“Could you take me to Ellie’s? She’s just off the second exit on the highway.” She request then buckles her seatbelt.
“Of course.”
—
Last night I promised myself to sort through the regular onboarding paperwork so I could pay my new addition for her time as soon as possible. I sat in an empty house under the hum of central air under me as I sort out the forms, some that I needed her to sign. Realistically, I could send the PDF to her email or invite her over so I can see her again. I look over to my empty wine glass and the sticky red residue settled at the bottom of the cup. My stomach tightened for the third time, but I can’t ignore it, I needed to get dinner in order.
8:53 p.m.: Need you to fill out some forms for me.
Instead of sitting and watching grey bubbles appear and disappear, I started on sorting my grocery order I placed when I came back. After my third glass of wine I decided to make a lemon garlic pasta after reading one recipe and certain that it was simple enough for me to do tonight.
I found a beer in hand and my phone in another with a caldron of a pot boiling over to the stove top. Chopped lemons lifted the scent in the house from rich to light and sweet as it grew dry on the counter. A bell-sound came from my phone and I jumped at the opportunity to read it but was highly unaware of my own mess.
“Fuck,” I holler, my screen now covered in lemon juice.
I drop my phone down on the counter amongst the ingredients and pick my angel hair pasta up, the package slips out of my hand and the threads of hard yellow sticks hit the floor. I watch them spread and roll to wherever they pleased.
My door bell hummed at the front of the house and I slightly jogged to catch it, I wasn’t expecting her to pop up now, especially in a moment like this, shit.
“Hey, I wasn’t—“
“Oh.” Nora smiled timidly.
“Nora, wow, hi.”
“Seems like you were expecting someone. I can dip out…” She offers.
“Um,” I wipe my fingers against the dish towel thrown over my shoulder. “Not at all come in.”
I slip to the side and welcome her in. Her choice of loungewear was black linen pants and an oversized Howard University sweatshirt. She left her UGG slippers near the front door and crossed her arms as she admired the room.
“Cooking or attempting to, um, in the kitchen if you wanna join me. Want a drink?”
The water in the pot dulled, most of it gone into the atmosphere or on the stove itself.
“Oh gosh, Abigail,” Nora rushed to gather the stray pasta. “I’ve never seen anyone struggle like this to cook noodles.”
If anyone else would’ve said that, I would have been highly offended but her non judgmental tone soothed me. She held them out like a bouquet before handing them to me to toss in the trash. Without thought she turned the heat off and refilled the pot carefully in the sink and carried it back.
“I have pasta in my pantry, it’s capellini if that’s okay?”
“Perfect.” I smile, clueless of what that is.
As soon as she closed the door I jolted off to the bathroom to freshen up. Stepping in front of the mirror was a live horror show. My braid was veering off to the side with flying hairs sticking up around my crown. Quickly, I untangled my hair, brushed it out and threw on more deodorant.
Nora was natural in the kitchen with her tea towel tucked in her waistband and using knives that have about as much action as me in the last five years. She brought over a much more adult bottle of a 2012-something and taught me how to identify the notes. I stood over her shoulder, watching her wrist make a swift motion out of a steel pan she brought from her home. The fragrant lemon sauce was coming together well with diced shallots and what I believe was fresh thyme, from her home garden.
She taught me how to properly swirl and plate the right portion and then store it for the days to come. We gathered at my dining table, slightly tipsy, but overjoyed at the fresh grated parmigiana’s compliment to the wine. Her lips were coated in the smooth sauce and her tongue grazed against them to clear off the residue. “I don’t remember my last home cooked meal.” I admit, chewing behind my hand.
“That’s a shame,” she sighed.
“Well, nope I just lied. My assistant’s parents invited me over for dinner, so I guess that counts. I think I was referring to more so inside of my own home.”
“Do most of your clients prepare food for you?” She chuckled uncomfortable.
“Uh, not meals but drinks, snacks, of course. They’re getting a bathroom demo and it’s a little bit exciting and I’ll be spending a bunch of time there — to be fair, I wasn’t the priority receiver of their kindness, they threw a party and invited me.”
"Great because mom can't cook." She smirked.
She twirled the last bits of the noodles around her fork and sat back to glance over to me, her hand slightly grazing her belly. My alcohol intake was far too high in the last couple of days and it was making me more and more malleable. I chewed on the corner of my lip as Nora’s eyes poured into mine seductively.
“I am overjoyed Nora, thank you.” I mumbled, wiping my mouth with a napkin.
“Me too, I’m glad I stopped by.”
I scooted my chair out to collect our dishes as her hand reached out to stop me.
“Abigail, why don’t you get that after you walk me to my door?”
All the blood rushed out of me as her dark voice beckoned me to obey.
“Well, yes ma’am.”
Nora shuffled in front of me and led me to her property, covered in healthy plants and garden decor. I guess I never really looked at the items in her yard but she had a landscaping talent.
“This is me.” She smiled before turning towards me and crossing her arms as she does.
“I’m happy to have shared a nice meal with you. Thanks for saving my dinner.”
Nora casually tucked a stray hair floating on the side of my temple and pulled it back behind my ear. “Abigail, I just followed the recipe.”
I leaned down to place a long, intentional kiss onto her right cheek, her hands came to my shoulders briefly and back to her sides as I stepped away.
“I’ll wait to see you fully in.” I gestured to her door.
꒰ঌ ໒꒱
You were waiting outside for over thirty minutes, banging your fist against Ms. Anderson’s door. One of her truck’s was in the driveway and nothing seemed out of order outside, so you were confused as to why she wasn’t coming to the door.
All your calls went straight to voicemail meaning it was dead or she turned it off entirely. You do a combination of doorbell ringing and phone calling until the door flies open. Abby stood in an unusually silky black robe with a metal baseball bat. Her usually perfectly primped hair was matted and sticking to her skin. She sighed in audible relief that it was just me.
“I heard banging,” She winced and covered her eyes with her palm.
“I’ve been calling and banging for almost an hour.” You move past her.
Wine glasses and dirty plates came in to view and a sinking feeling dropped in your belly. She had her neighbor over, she got to have dinner with Abby, touch her, kiss her, and by the looks of it fuck her too.
#lesbian#abby x reader#abby anderson tlou2#abby anderson x you#abby smut#abby the last of us#tlou abby#wlw ns/fw#abby anderson#wlw and nblw only
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"Anything" 💙 Curly x Anya

art credit: seagummies on twitter
warnings: angst, topic of miscarriage
this is a good ending au of mouthwashing! if u are a hater, then dni🥰 this post aint for u, babe
Chapter 1
Jimmy had been dead for the past few months due to the crash. The crew has been slowly rotting. They have lost all hope, and for good reason. Daisuke and Swansea are unconscious because of hunger and exhaustion. Curly and Anya are slowly losing grip. Despite all this, the beautiful glowing screen still showcased the moon and stars. Curly's hair sticks to his face due to anxious sweat. "Well, we had a good run. Didn't we." Curly smiled. Anya laid beside him and she smiled despite the tears rolling down her face. "Yeah." Curly's breath hitches "Anya... I'm-”
Curly opened his eyes with a jolt. There he was, in the hospital. His whole body was aching. A nurse walked over to his bed, "How are you feeling, sir?" His eyes widened harshly. "Where is my crew?" He yelled. "Are they okay? Is Anya alive? I never got to tell her I'm sorry!" Curly's heart beat spiked. Thinking about Anya's distressed face made him feel nauseous from guilt. He placed his head in his hands, as if grappling with reality. The nurse spoke gently to try and to calm him down, "Everyone is okay. Some are still waking up." He sighed, feeling relieved. A doctor came into the room. "How did we survive? How are we home?" Curly was more than shocked. The doctor walked up to him, holding his papers. "Another space ship found you guys. Some astronomers were on an expedition in the area. You all were very lucky they were out there." The doctor said, cracking a smile. Curly looked down at his hands. "What room is Anya in? If you don't mind asking." Curly asked quietly. The nurse responded, "Room 25. And this is 24." After doing some basic checkups, and giving him some medicine for the pain, the doctor and the nurse left. Curly laid there, alone with his thoughts.
A few hours pass by, and unable to just sit and do nothing, Curly sneaks out of his room. He finds Anya sitting down in the lobby. The moon light shining on her in her hospital gown. She looked tired as usual, and mentally drained, but she still smiled faintly when she heard his voice. "Anya!" He cried out, limping towards her. She looks up at him and smiles with tears in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and cried. She held his head gently. "Anya... I-I I'm so sorry. I should have done something. You already had told me that you felt uncomfortable around him. I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry that I made it seem like I didn't care. I care so much. I will do anything you want to gain your forgiveness. We don't have to ever talk again if that's what you wish. I'm so sorry, Anya." The words came out almost pleadingly, and rushed. He couldn’t hold back a sob. "Captain-... Curly. Our worst moments don't define us. I don't blame you for what happened, we were in the middle of space. But it will still take me a long time to heal. Thank you." Anya was always the more quiet kind. She didn't know how to respond. After several quiet minutes spoke quietly, "I lost the baby." Curly looks up at her, his eyes slightly wide. To not offend her, he asked honestly, "How do you feel?" Tears rolled down her face, as she stared at the ground. "Empty.”
In the morning, Curly and Anya met up with Daisuke and Swansea. It seemed they were recovering well. The crew all sat together in the lobby. It was surreal, everything felt so much lighter. Almost happy. "How are you guys doing? What do you plan on doing after this?" Curly asked. Daisuke's face lights up, "That was totally crazy! I'm happy we survived. I can't wait to see my mom." Swansea pops in, "Heh, It will be nice to be with my family again. No more pony express. I get to be a retired lazy old man!" Swansea chuckles. Anya and Curly look at each other smiling. It felt like a dream.
A few days went by, and the crew slowly recovered. Everyone was released from the hospital once they were fully recovered. Getting back from the hospital was refreshing. The sterile white rooms grew to be nauseating. He could finally go home. Curly pulled up to his home, the sight of his big white house with blue shutters made him smile. That company never cared. Some random astronomers were the ones who cared enough to save them. He was free from that stupid job. He hated being glorified, he soon realized. Curly felt like a monster after everything that had happened. His loving pet guinea pig was waiting for him in his bedroom. Curly’s mother would take care of her every day while Curly was gone. Whenever anyone visits, they are surprised that he has such a small creature when he's such a big guy. Almost every time someone says the classic "Wow. I thought you would have a dog of some sort, captain." He sighed and flopped on the bed but gently held Daphne. He felt so relieved to be home, after all this time. But every time he tried to close his eyes, he would see Anya's crying face
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sooo this is my first fan fic ever that im gonna actually commit to😭 plz be patient. also, im gonna try to write the miscarriage plot as realistic as possible. i have had multiple friends and family that have suffered from miscarriages
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly x anya#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing
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cl16 | are we out of the woods yet?

summary: [ charles leclerc x f!driver!reader — social media au / fic ] after you get into a rough crash, charles is faced with difficult decisions
request: can i get a female driver reader injury/crash angst with daniel, seb or charles pls love your fics!
warnings: crashes and injuries, general medical stuff, unspecified mentions of death (implied to be jules and hervé), open/unclear ending
author’s note: hihi lovely!! tysm for requesting <3 hope this is enough angst for you ;) also i have no clue how to write injuries soooooo just roll with it




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ynupdates y/n has been taken to the medical center following her crash in the #brazilgp. no further news has been released yet. we're all behind you, y/n! 🤞
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user did anyone see if she was able to get out of the car by herself?
↪ user no, i think she had to be extracted by the medical crew 😬
user i hope she's okay...
Charles' phone is halfway out of his pocket when it starts ringing. Glancing at the screen, he swipes to accept the call when he sees that it's from your mother. He had called her a few minutes ago, when the sight of your crash had first appeared on the screens in the Ferrari paddock, but she hadn’t picked up. Her voice filters through the speakers of his phone, worry tinging her tone.
“Do you have news yet?” she asks.
“Don’t know,” Charles replies, “I’m on my way to see her now. It… might be good to book a flight — and soon.” He doesn’t want to alarm your mom but it seems inevitable and he knows that you would want her next to you.
“Okay,” she breathes shakily, “and Charles?”
“Yeah?”
“She better be okay when I get there.”
Charles winces. Of all the people in the world, he knows all too well why you can never make any promises, especially in Formula 1.
“I’ll do my best,” he says and ends the call.
There’s a marshal waiting for him in the tiny waiting area in the medical center. He’s pacing nervously and immediately strides towards Charles as soon as he sees him.
“Mr. Leclerc,” he begins, “the doctors wanted to see you before they take any further action. You have medical power of attorney for Ms. L/N in case of emergency, correct?”
Charles nods numbly. It had been a precaution at the time because you had insisted that out of everyone in the paddock, you trusted him the most. He had accepted it without thinking twice but now the weight of the responsibility settles heavily over his shoulders. He follows the marshal past empty treatment rooms until they reach one with its door thrown open.
Charles feels his lunch crawling back up his throat as he stares at your figure. You’re laid out on a stretcher and you’d almost look peaceful if not for the numerous medical apparatuses connected to you and the thin trickle of dried blood on your temple. He somehow finds his voice again.
“What happened?” he asks, almost afraid to hear the answer.
A paramedic steps forward. “Ms. L/N took quite a knock in her crash, I’m afraid,” she explains gently. “Something came loose in the cockpit and hit her head. We’re not sure if there’s any further internal injuries, but our professional opinion is that she should be moved as soon as possible to a hospital for further testing.”
Charles swallows around a lump in his throat. “Is there any particular risk with transporting her in this state?”
The paramedic shakes her head. “No more than the usual, which is relatively low compared to the risk that we run by keeping her here without knowing if there’s anything else wrong.”
Charles follows your ambulance all the way into the hospital in a haze. He barely registers the press grouped outside the entrance, pushing through them, always keeping you in his sights. He waits outside of the examination room they bring you into and follows as they wheel you around, receiving god knows how many tests.
After a while members of your team start showing up, although they keep a respectful distance from Charles. He’s glad. He knows, rationally, that you were just unlucky, but the irrational and protective side of him is screaming at him to place the blame at someone’s feet. He knows you wouldn’t appreciate him blowing up at your team, though, so he doesn’t say anything to them and keeps vigil by your side as the doctors poke and prod.
Eventually you’re carefully placed in a hospital bed and Charles is pulled aside by what seems to be the main doctor assigned to you.
“Unfortunately, it seems as if we will have to operate on Ms. L/N,” he says gently. “Someone else will go over the details with you, but long story short she’s bleeding internally and it’s imperative that we get to it as soon as possible. Of course, any operation of this size could potentially be dangerous, but I strongly recommend taking action sooner rather than later.”
Charles shakes his head, the words not yet registering in his scattered mind. “Is she going to be okay?” he mumbles, not meeting the doctor’s eyes.
He can feel the doctor’s pitying gaze on him and Charles doesn’t have it in him to tell him that he’s been here before — not this specific hospital, no, but he’s been on this side of the conversation that they’re having already, and it tears his heart up just as much as the first time. The only difference this time is that he’s the one who has to make the choice, not anyone else.
“We can’t make any guarantees,” the doctor cautions, “but it would significantly raise her chances of survival if we act now.”
Charles winces at the doctor’s words. Survival. Drive to survive, surviving to drive, the irony of the situation isn’t lost on him. He uncurls his fingers gingerly from where he had been unconsciously gripping his pants.
He wants to avoid the decisions he knows he will have to make in the next twenty-four hours. He wants to pretend that nothing happened, that you’re still on the track, passing everyone in your way. He wants to go back to this morning, when he had kissed you goodbye before jogging off to get ready for the race. He wishes he had taken time to do more than peck you and throw a “love you!” over his shoulder. Charles wants to hide from the cold, stark reality he’s faced with. Your life lies in his hands and Charles is so, so tired of bleak hospital hallways.
He wants to scream at the heavens. He’s suffered and given so much already. Is one shred of happiness too much to ask? Charles had known the risks going in when he started dating you — one Formula 1 driver was usually more than enough jeopardy in a relationship, let alone two — but he’d never really thought that the day would arrive where he would have to make decisions about you, without you.
Charles stares at your face through the window to your room, tracing the curves and slopes with his eyes. It’s the face he wakes up next to almost every day and he curses himself for not cherishing the time he’s already had with you more. His brain is moving a mile a minute, running through all the possible outcomes. At the end of the day, though, he’s only got one choice.
Charles Leclerc has always been selfish and he’ll be damned if he lets another person he loves slip through his fingers.
“Where do I sign?”
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masterlist | taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora
#solwriting#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#f1 social media au#f1 imagine#f1 smau#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc smau
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